#don't think lucas isn't getting dreads

[adelacreations]

Geninuely some of the looks from the 80s and having to translate that to my Resident Evil Village AU is sometimes hard.

But since Patrick barely gets screen time i can do what I want. Bitch is getting dreads cause dreads are cool.

[whentommymetalfie]

Hi! I love your works and reread them regularly for comfort 🥹. After reading your Luca/Alfie/Tommy fic I wondered what your take is on the relationship between Luca and Alfie. Are they a happy threesome or are Luca and Alfie just in it for Tommy?

Nothing greater to hear than this ❤️ I'm so happy they bring yo comfort. And thank you for your question and for giving me an excuse to ramble (this answer turned out incredibly long, bear with me). So, thoughts, which apparently I had many of:

Luca sees Tommy for the first time, and it's like being hit by a freight train. He's never wanted someone more in his life. And on his end, Tommy can't deny there's a spark. In this scenario, I'm imagining that Tommy and Alfie have had this sort of flirtatious, will-they-won't they-thing going on. Plenty of tension and times in Alfie's office when something's nearly happened, but not quite. But Alfie definitely feels that he's got the bigger claim on Tommy (who belongs to no-one, thank you very much. Which is a lie he can tell himself all he likes). So when Luca comes into the picture, it starts off more as sharing. Every other night with each of them. But perhaps one evening when they're all three in the same place, and there's been some alcohol involved, they somehow end up in bed together. (Whose idea was it? That is up for discussion) And, as it turns out, it's beyond satisfying for all parties involved. Tommy doesn't make it out of bed the next day but that's a price he gladly pays, which says a lot. And after that, it happens more often than not.

At first, Alfie and Luca just begrudgingly accept each other, both reasoning along the lines of fine, he can 'live with it, it's just sex, not like has to spend eons of time with this strange man/fucking wop.' It's a price they're willing to pay for Tommy's satisfaction.

Tommy rolls his eyes at their bickering.

The thing is, slowly, this 'arrangement' evolves to something more than just sex (because Luca is a hopeless romantic, deep down. Which happens to be true for Alfie as well, even if he'd deny it under threat of death). And Tommy is not only completely hooked on the sex, but on all the attention and care during and afterwards (but that's not something he'll admit out loud). So it becomes a regular thing, meetings ending up in various hotel rooms -fancy ones, because Luca and Alfie compete in many things, the fanciness of hotel rooms just being one of them.

Then, at some point, Alfie ups the ante by suggesting they meet at his house -nothing like the advantage of home-court- and is quite surprised when Luca accepts (joke's on him, Luca would accept anything if it involves Tommy). All three deny this is a big step towards... well, something.

They still only barely accept each other, Alfie and Luca. Fine, Alfie will admit that Luca is not entirely repulsive. He can accept sharing a bed with him. And fine, Luca is man enough to admit that Alfie's got a certain rugged attractiveness about him, entirely different from Tommy's, but it's... acceptable.

And then, the 'meetings' start spilling over into the next day. Alfie gets up in the morning to make breakfast, for Tommy obviously, but fine, since Luca is there as well, he can have a cup of tea. And some toast, because the bread's just there, isn't it?

And then Luca, when he buys Tommy flowers, or a work by some poet he knows he likes, picks up a book for Alfie, since he was at the bookstore anyway and doesn't Alfie like that absolutely dreadful Irish author? The book just ends up coming with him on its own accord.

And they do find common ground in the fact that they both care for Tommy, and admittedly don't just want to fuck him. Both want to keep him safe, want him to be happy. And both think he's entirely terrible at taking care of himself, so it's up to them to do it for him.

Perhaps one morning, Alfie wakes up after Luca, which is unusual. And before Tommy, even more unusual. After lounging around in bed for a bit, nose buried in Tommy's hair, listening to his steady breathing and watching those long, dark eyelashes flutter ever so slightly, he gets up, gets dressed and goes downstairs. Surprised to find Luca in his kitchen, cooking breakfast, with a pot of tea already on the table, along with the paper. And Alfie also finds that the sight is... not entirely unpleasant. Mutters something incoherent and goes to pour himself a cup of tea, slumping down on one of the chairs by the kitchen table. Hiding behind the paper. Luca sets down a portion of perfectly scrambled eggs and toast before him. Seats himself across from him by the table, long legs stretched in front of him. Without a second thought puts one of his bare feet up to rest on Alfie's knee. Alfie puts a hand around his ankle. Mutters something again. Perhaps about Tommy still being asleep. Looked so precious he didn't want to wake him up, and besides, he could use the rest. Luca hums in agreement.

And neither of them want to admit that this, whatever this is, definitely goes beyond 'begrudging acceptance'

(I also have this half-formed little idea of something happening to Tommy, landing him In hospital where they need to perform an emergency surgery. Alfie finds out about it and gets there first. Luca comes rushing an hour later, unusually disheveled and with a wild look in his eyes. The fact that Alfie is oddly quiet only scares him further, and as they sit there waiting for any news about Tommy, Luca moves a tiny bit closer until their arms brush. And Alfie might run a finger lightly across his knuckles... Many thoughts are had...)

[munson-blurbs]

Happy Monday and Happy Halloween :) I’ve had this idea in my head all month and was wondering if it’d be okay to request it? For Halloween, the Hellfire crew does a movie night and each member gets to pick a movie (which has to be horror per Eddie’s instructions) but reader is not good with horror and gets to pick “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”. So, all of the boys tease him because he’s obviously whipped but doesn’t care because as long as he’s making the reader happy (cue big happy smiles and reciting lines from memory after being buried in Eddie’s shoulder for most of the night) that’s all that matters.

Did you...read my mind? Because I was literally just gonna ask for Halloween-themed requests and then this shows up in my inbox!

Warnings: mentions of murder in the context of a movie. That's it; it's all fluff.

WC: 1.1k

--

"All right, little sheep," Eddie announces as he pulls into the parking lot wildly, "you know the rules. Everyone picks their favorite horror movie and brings it to me. I'll pick the top three for movie night. Got it?"

The rest of Hellfire scurries into Family Video, eagerly browsing the horror section, but you're dragging your feet. You're normally down for any kind of movie, even the old westerns your dad watches, but you hate horror. Being scared just isn't your thing.

A family-friendly Halloween display at the front of the store catches your eye. You immediately spot It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and pick it up with a smile; memories of watching this as a kid come flooding back.

"Whatcha got there, sweetheart?" Eddie's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. He plucks the VHS out of your hand before you have a chance to argue. "Charlie Brown, nice! A classic, in my humble opinion."

You force a laugh. "I, uh, don't know any horror movies," you admit. "Don't like 'em. Hate 'em, actually."

"So, is this your choice?" Eddie asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Guess so," you mutter, feeling your face turn bright red.

After a few minutes, the rest of the group comes back, armed with movies that make you want to shrivel up into a ball and disappear. Eddie collects the tapes and shuffles through them.

"I have made my decision!" he says, putting on his Dungeon Master voice for the occasion. "The winners are...Halloween, of course," Jeff turns to Gareth and high-fives him, "Friday the 13th," Eddie continues as Mike pumps a fist in the air triumphantly, "and...It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" He shoots you a knowing grin as your blood runs cold.

"Are you kidding me?" Lucas cries out, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

"How did that beat out The Shining?" Dustin whines. "It's not even the right genre!"

"Yeah, who picked that, anyway?" Gareth questions, but everyone already knows. You feel the glares of your fellow Hellfire members, and honestly? You can't blame them.

"Of course," Mike mutters, "because she's the only girl here."

Lucas laughs. "Nah, it's because she's got Eddie whipped, like the family pig."

"Pretty sure you actually have to be dating the person to be whipped," Dustin adds.

"Enough!" Eddie shouts, quieting the group. "I've made my decision. Go grab some snacks and beg Harrington for the friends and family discount."

You trail behind with Eddie, fidgeting with the hem of your Hellfire shirt. "Eddie," you whisper, "you can pick another movie. I'll be fine." I'll just have nightmares for weeks, you think, but keep that to yourself.

He shakes his head, frizzy brown curls dancing across his face. "Nope. Already made up my mind." He places the selection on the counter as the boys pile on bags of chips and candy.

~

Everyone piles into the Wheeler living room. You volunteer to make the popcorn, an apology for the cheesy kids' movie they'll endure later. Mike pops his movie choice into the VHS player, and dread fills your belly as you hear the ominous music pulse through the room. When the popcorn is done, you pour it in a bowl and bring it over to the group.

You realize dejectedly that all of the seats are taken: Lucas, Mike, and Dustin pile onto the sofa, Gareth and Jeff are on the two-seater, and Eddie's taken the La-Z-Boy. Before you can pull over a chair from the kitchen, you see Eddie patting his thigh.

"C'mon, I can protect you," he teases, and you pause, unsure if he's serious. He looks over at you expectantly, and you pad over and sit gingerly on his lap. He swings your legs over his and places an arm around around your back. You notice the boys exchange knowing glances.

When the camp counselors get murdered, you yelp embarrassingly and curl up into Eddie's chest. He holds you close, and now you feel jumpy for a whole other reason. You've had a crush on him since joining Hellfire, but he never seemed to reciprocate the feelings, always treating you as one of the guys.

But, you think now, he's never cuddled any of them during a movie night, so...

You nuzzle your head into his neck, flinching as each murder gets more gruesome than the next. An audible sigh of relief escapes your lips when the movie finally ends.

"Solid choice, Wheeler," Eddie notes approvingly. "Who's gonna put in the next one?"

"You're closest to the TV," Dustin's response is met with a scowl.

"Yeah, well, 'm kinda busy here, Henderson," Eddie says as he throws a kernel of popcorn at the kid's head.

"Jesus Christ!" Dustin quips, but takes Halloween out of its box.

"Told ya," Lucas whispers to Mike, "whipped."

Maybe it's the adrenaline from the movie, but something comes over you. "I think you're just jealous that Max isn't here to sit on your lap, Sinclair," you tease.

"She got you!" Eddie cackles. "My girl just burned you, dude!"

My girl? Oh, you'll have to revisit that later.

~

When it's finally time for your movie, the rest of the guys trudge down to the basement. You get up to follow them, but Eddie links an arm around your waist.

"Where ya goin'?" he asks sleepily. "We didn't watch Charlie Brown yet."

Your smile quickly turns into a yawn. "I didn't realize you were actually gonna watch it. Besides," you add, "aren't you tired?"

"Exhausted," he admits, "but I really do like this movie."

"Really?" You can't hide the surprise in your voice, and Eddie laughs.

"Yeah. It's cute. Like, um, like you." He wrings his neck sheepishly, looking up at you with his big brown eyes.

You start the movie, mouthing along with the Peanuts characters until you fall asleep in Eddie's lap. He wakes you gently when the movie's over.

"Sorry," you mumble, but he just shakes his head.

"You're also cute when you sleep, so..." he shrugs. "Didn't mind." He clears his throat and glances around, though you can't imagine what he's looking at.

"Do you, uh, wanna just sleep up here? On the couch?" he asks quietly. "I could do without Jeff's snoring." When you nod, he shuffles the furniture so he can pull out the sofa bed, grabbing some pillows and blankets. "Ladies first." He extends an arm towards the couch.

You climb under the blankets, pulling them up to your chin. You fall asleep almost immediately, but not before feeling Eddie drape his arm around you and press a quick kiss between your shoulder blades.

--

[chaoscradle]

assigning GUTS songs to stranger things characters (i know this has been done a ton of times already but i'm doing it anyway):

all-american bitch: nancy

"I know my age and I act like it"

"I'm a perfect all-american bitch"

"I know my place, I know my place, and this is it"

"I'm the eternal optimist, I scream inside to deal with it"

"I pay attention to things most people ignore"

(el could also work with this one, but i felt like with the whole nuclear family thing the wheelers have going on that nancy fits better)

bad idea right?: max

"'I only see him as a friend' the biggest lie I ever said"

"can't two people reconnect?"

"but god, when I look at you, my brain goes 'ah', can't hear my thoughts"

vampire: joyce

"every girl I talked to told me you were bad, bad news"

"you're so convincing, how do you lie without flinching?"

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine"

"the way you sold me for parts"

"you said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart"

"I loved you truly. gotta laugh at the stupidity"

lacy: el

"I linger all the time, watchin', hidden in plain sight"

"aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?"

"I feel your compliments like bullets on skin"

"and I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you"

ballad of a homeschooled girl: mike

"and I hate all my clothes, feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones"

"the party's done, and I'm no fun, I know I know, I know, I know"

"I made it weird, I made it worse"

"everything I do is tragic"

"I'm shocked I'm still alive"

(this could also work for robin tbh)

making the bed: mike

"another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine, another thing I forced to be a sign"

"push away all the people who know me the best"

"every good thing has turned into something I dread"

"and I tell someone I love them, just as a distraction"

logical: will (psa this is from will's pov i don't think any of this of mike)

"come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you"

"and I fell for you like rain falls from a February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried"

"oh, why do I do this? I look so stupid thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life"

"'cause if rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changing you is possible"

"you lied, you lied, you lied"

"I guess love is never logical"

"the sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said"

"I know I'm half responsible, and that makes me feel horrible"

"I know I could've stopped it all, god why didn't I stop it all?"

"'cause loving you is loving every argument you held over my head"

get him back!: max (NOT about lumax, just how she'd handle a different breakup)

"I want sweet revenge, I want him again"

"do I love him? do I hate him? I guess it's up and down"

"I wanna make him really jealous, I wanna make him feel bad"

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up"

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks"

love is embarrassing: will

"and then, you kissed some girl from high school"

"waited by my phone like a goddamn fool"

"god, love's embarrassing as hell"

"and I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy" (minus the new guy part)

"you found a new version of me"

"I give up, I give up, but I keep comin' back for more"

the grudge: lucas

"how could anyone do the things you did so easily?"

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me, and I know you don't care, I guess that's fine"

"one phone call from you and my entire world was changed"

"and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it"

"and I know in my heart, hurt people hurt people"

(this song doesn't 100% represent lucas and max's relationship in s4 imo but it comes the closest)

pretty isn't pretty: el

"there's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong"

"when pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same"

"fix the thing you hated, and you'd still feel insecure"

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life, and none of it matters and none of it ends"

teenage dream: will

"they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?"

"when am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me" (birthdaygate)

"but I fear that they already got all the best parts of me"

"will I spend all the rest of my years wishin' I could go back?"

[noellerain]

• Always Remember Him That Way [Luca Kaneshiro x fem!reader]

Hate is not the word you're looking for. Certainly not. It is a strong, four-letter word that holds all the resentment that a person can have towards something, or someone. You don't hate him, yet you'd rather jump off a cliff than to admit that somehow, there is a small space deep within you where a sliver of admiration resides. 

Your peripheral view caught his obnoxiously blonde hair all the way from the other side of the room. The little hairs on your nape stood, and like a built-in alarm, it tingled your spine, and sent a message to your brain immediately. He's here.

It's not like you need that reminder anyway. See, he is the kind of person who walks through a door and announces his arrival, like a tyrannical king; commanding everyone's attention, basking in people's cheers or songs of praises... except, you don't think that he sounds as arrogant or as smug like those pop culture depicted kings. Or how he doesn't even look a bit like those men painted on hundred years of age canvases who either have deep frown embedded on their faces or look like they don't have any fucks to give. On the contrary, every single day he walks in, his eyes are always bright, a toothy grin plastered on his face. Ah, forget it. He isn't a tyrannical king at all. What he really is, is a giant, fluffy, golden retriever.

You turned your head to the side the moment the whole class turned into a festival fiasco. The boys howled his name and tapped their desks madly. Some of the girls huddled together and sang songs about him through soft whispers and hums. You... you should be rolling your eyes right now. You should be sighing and muttering how stupid the whole thing looks.

But the wind blew, entering through the crevices of the jalousies. It swept the curtain off its feet and they waltzed in the air, lost to the song of nature. You closed your eyes, felt the wind caress your hands, arms, neck, all the way to your face, its fingertips icy. It reminded you of last week's fluttering moment, in the middle of the night, under those watchful gaze of the stars, inside the small car on a convenience store's parking lot.

There had been a small party in one of your classmate's house. You remember sitting down on a sofa, munching on a glazed donut and washing it down with a carbonated drink that made your chest and throat burn so good, aware yet could hardly care of the consequences. You were chatting with the others, having fun... until you found yourself getting dragged out by a sly fox, pushed inside a small car and sat next to the blonde and his rowdy friends, on the way to the convenience store to get more snacks.

You don't hate them. Again, it's a strong word. You actually admire their friendship: always got each other's backs. It's just that, they're notorious for being chaotic and noisy. To you, serenity is as precious as Prince Rupert's drops, its properties can conquer even the fastest triggered bullet. When the arguments over bland dinners and kitchen bills get a little louder, the stillness of your small closet holds you against its chest. When the classroom was filled with incomprehensible, dizzying noises, the crisp sound of billowing air on the school's rooftop drowns it all.

Dread filled your being when you tried fishing your earphones out of your jeans, only to realize halfway that you left them at home. Instead, you pressed your arms against your chest, glued the side of your body against the car's window, careful not to brush your shoulder against his.

They're their usual selves throughout the whole drive to the store, yet years and years of solitude made your eyes sharper and your gut wiser. You noticed how the sly fox kept accidentally pushing him to you. Thank the heavens for his strength, otherwise his body would have definitely crashed against yours from all that stunt. Moreover, the demon in the driver's seat kept braking carelessly, supporting whatever agenda the fox had in mind. You kept your tongue pressed firmly against the roof of your mouth, the remaining two are laughing, shaking their heads.

When the car stopped, they swiftly got out. He was also just about to go, but then, the novelist (whom you bothered so many times to ask for help in your literature class) shut the door on his face then they all ran away like giddyuped horses, leaving you two alone. You didn't know what to make out of the situation, really.

You decided to let things go and stay on your seat when he didn't follow the others outside. You wanted to go out and inhale some fresh air but that would risk telling him to move so you have enough space to crouch your way out. You pressed your side even harder against the window, pretending you're all alone inside the car... except you couldn't because you can feel his jet-black eyes drilling holes into your skull.

"What?" You snapped.

"Nothing. I didn't expect you to come. The party's kinda pog, isn't it?" 

You would never understand his way with words. You let them hang in the air, as you sank deeper into your vibrating seat, the smell of lavender permeating in the car. You look up at the sky through the tinted window, wishing on (possibly) dead stars for the others to hurry up and save you from this situation.

"Hey... you... you know, you should smile more."

He's always like this, you thought to yourself. He's always picking on you, and feels great satisfaction whenever your face contorts to a deep frown. Your mind then goes into overload, trying to think of many, many ways to retaliate, counter his remarks faster. But you never win. You know that you will never do. Because in every single one of your banters, like a cherry on top, he always says something that smooths out your furrowed brows, and relaxes the tense muscles on your face.

He always says something that could mean something, if you didn't know any better. You inhaled sharply and kept all the air in your lungs until you heard the erratic beats of your heart. Slowly, you turned your head towards his direction and held his eyes with yours.

"Stop doing that," you whisper, a spasm of embarrassment and displeasure shoot up from your chest. You swallowed the thick saliva that coated your tongue and licked your glossy lips that tasted of strawberries, wanting to claw your chest. "Stop saying things you don't mean."

"What? I mean it, though. I mean it." He was quick to say. "You definitely should smile more because it suits you."

"Then maybe get off my back so I can smile more? You annoy me too much, I barely remember how to smile and be happy anymore." You retaliate, teeth gritted, words were spat with the intention to make him stop talking and ruin your night that's been going well so far. 

When those words left your mouth, his eyes were quick to reflect how much those words weighed on him. You stare in horror, suddenly wanting to take them back and swallow them whole. Four years of being classmates, and you have never seen his eyes look the way they did that night. Although there were no lights inside the car, the neon light from the convenience store made his eyes shine yet lost their brightness at the same time.

It baffled you. A humongous question mark appeared, begging to be recognized and answered.

"Lu—"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to... I didn't know it was that bad..." he trailed off, voice raspy and low- almost inaudible. You had only felt relief before when he turned his back on you. Because that used to mean that he's done for the day and you could go back to your own little bubble. 

But that day, it was different. Like something important, something new and different just slipped from your grasp before you could even hold it. Your fingers itched to grab the hem of his shirt, yank it, pull him back. But they remained against your chest, unmoving, unsure and trembling.

"Don't worry! I'll get off your back, okay?" 

You watched while he opened the car door and followed his friends inside. You looked down on your cold, shivering fingertips. Your eyes shifted and blurred so you blinked to clear your vision. In a matter of a heartbeat, you're not in the parking lot anymore, alone inside that small car. You held your gaze up and looked around, realizing that you're also not inside the classroom anymore. The familiarity is gone and replaced by poker faces, eyes glued and unmoving on their screens. The school uniform was long gone also, people now donned in corporate attires. The air is cold and crisp but felt inauthentic, coming from the large air conditioner that stood next to the glass doors.

Glass doors. Outside, you can see vehicles skipping towns, and people walking steadfast toward their destinations. Sands of time never falters, and everyone's stuck on its palm, running away, buying more just to stay a little longer. Oh, the things you're willing to sacrifice just to stay in that car for a little longer.

You realized that his jests were annoying but never hurtful. He pinched your cheeks whenever he caught you dozing off, he wrapped his arms around your shoulder and dragged you to the cafeteria to grab food. Whenever there were groupings for a project, he followed and joined you. He teased you about your messy hair when you forget to brush it before coming to school, but he never made you the butt of his jokes. Your classmates probably saw and knew. But you didn't.

You took his playfulness to heart. You disliked his loudness, you disliked his long blonde hair that he used to tie in a messy, tangled bun. You disliked how he hyped you up during individual reporting, or how he cheered for you in school-based competitions thinking he's only embarrassing and distracting you so you'll fail. To you, he was this sharp needle that pierced your bubble, forcing you to deal with numerous situations.

Your mind was wired to think that way since day one. So you never really noticed and understood why he'd insist on walking you home, even if your house was farther than his. Why he'd slip chocolate bars on your desk during exams, because you once shared to one of your classmates that you eat chocolate because it improves focus and memory. How he looked at you after cracking a joke, waiting to see how you'd react and how he pumped his fists every single time when he saw a shadow of a smile creeping across your lips. How you're the first person he'd approach whenever he needs help, not because he wants to give you a hard time but because he knows he can rely on you.

You never really noticed those things before. 

You did, however, finally notice when he started doing those things to someone else.

The clock shows 12:00 PM. You stand from your seat and go straight for the mess. You forgot to make your bento this morning because you woke up late. Your clothes are also wrinkled, after forgetting to steam them last night. As if those things weren't enough, you have a raging headache that feels like your head is being split in half and your eyes look like they're bitten by large bugs.

You sat down on a table, alone with your sandwich and soda. Years and years of solitude trained you for situations like this. But as you look up and stare at the empty chair, you wonder what could have been if you said something, did something that night, or for the rest of your last year in high school.

But you remained on your seat, both in the car and on your desk. You only looked away or detoured when you saw him, pushed down your wise gut that kept telling you to go and talk to him. To take a leap of faith and risk something. Yet you didn't... and now you feel like you lost everything.

You opened your phone and went directly to the gallery, where a screenshot of his Facebook post sat unsolicited. In the photo, he looks grown, taller and muscular. Strokes of experience painted his face, yet he still has the same old toothy grin you last saw in person lifetimes ago. His blonde hair, now a little bit shorter than the last time, his jet-black eyes now brighter compared that night. You also noticed maps of tattoos on his arms and hands that held someone else's. You never took him as a guy who likes needles and tattoos but you remember that the image of him in your mind was the guy in high school, not the man he is today.

In your mind, you held on to that high school boy, you held on to that adorable golden retriever, and told him every now and then that you were sorry. An answer never came but you knew he would definitely understand if only things weren't a little too late.

You stared at the photo a little bit longer... and God, you thought that the amount of crying you did last night was enough... but turns out, it wasn't. Even when his image went out of focus, and you saw teardrops fall on your screen, you just can't look away.

Because even if he is a completely different person now, in your mind, he was still the same boy who made your high school memorable. And even if the sands of time and your hesitation pulled you two apart, ripped your chest in half and broke your heart into little shards, you can't help but hope and pray that in the next lifetime, or maybe in a parallel universe, he'll be here in the cafeteria, sitting in front of you.

And if the chance was given, you promise not to hesitate. 

But tomorrow is not promised... and all you have are memories. So you close your eyes and play them like a film in your mind. And that even if things changed, you will always remember a certain Luca Kaneshiro, the blonde high school boy with a toothy grin and hearty laugh, whom you so foolishly relinquished.

And even if you find someone else, have a family of your own, even if the sun explodes into billions of stars, and even if your body and soul or even the whole world falls into oblivion, you will always remember him that way. You will always remember Luca Kaneshiro that way.

•••

Noelle: published this in AO3 first more than a year ago so if you read this somewhere in that holy place, yes. I wrote it. :))

My first ever Luxiem fanfic starring my kamioshi, Luca. Hope you enjoyed. (obv inspired by Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga)

©noellerain

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 178

Chapter 178: "To the Human World"

As sweet as it is to have Mujika & Sonju rush all the way from the capital to the GF plantation to wish the children one last goodbye, I can't help but think of the surprised Pikachu meme whenever I see this panel of Ray. He matches it perfectly.

Kinda glad we don't linger on the tragic events of the previous chapter long, like yeah, I don't need to shed any more tears about it, but also having Mujika completely switch topics as if the loss wasn't highly depressing is lowkey hilarious. Also, that one shot of the plantation shows the outer bridge again somehow even though it was clearly destroyed back in ch167.

I'm assuming Oliver, Violet & all the other GP kids already know about the golden water because Lucas might have told them about it when he ventured underground with Emma? It's not like any of them saw the literal Goldy Pond themselves since it was locked behind the door that required the WM pen to open and none of the residents had one until Emma showed up, but whatever. The only one of them I could imagine getting a peak of the golden water themselves is Nigel since he went below the windmill to set off the self destruct button in the control room that was right next to said pond. Anyways, if this is the place the Ratri clan used to transport stuff between worlds, can't y'all just use the stairs too? I dunno why but I can't imagine them using the Seven Wall method every time, or that they would even know how to complete the ritual in the first place. Emma only activated that to advise the demon god they're all ready to implement the promise and cross over.

Phil asking the very important questions that we're all dreading the answers to! Though I'm wondering again how he knew of the deal in the first place. I figure he and all the other children at GF were told about the promise off panel by the escapees sometime after they were all reunited or perhaps that little tidbit of information was something Phil heard about from Andrew. Who knows. I certainly don't. I can love this series with all my heart but by no means do I have an abundance of knowledge of every tiny detail.

I can't and won't say Emma's lying here because she isn't. She answers Phil's questions with full confidence and very truthfully, it's just.. not the full truth, which is clever on her part to just give the answers they're wondering about instead of all the extra fine details because her family definitely wouldn't allow her to carry such a burden, as they outwardly express to her a bit later.

I can imagine Emma revealing the price of the reward so casually, like "oh, the demon god actually wants you guys," or something similar which makes everyone's freak out even funnier in my head.

Thankfully, her family is off limits due to how Emma phrased the new promise to include all the cattle children to cross over to the human world, so the reward is.. "nothing." It's so anti-climatic that no one believes it. I praise Emma's master actor skills very highly and will probably do so again in a couple pages, but this undoubtedly one of her weaker performances. C'mon honey, I know the past couple days have been real hectic but surely you had some downtime between all the traveling to and from the capital to think up a better story. (and Violet totally swears there. don't even question it. perfectly in character.)

I love how everyone continues to be skeptical as the lie continues to grow. If the reward was really that simple, then Emma wouldn't have had a reason to hide the reward from Ray when he first asked about it during ch144. If it was all good news and truly free from any sort of sacrifices, then I'm sure she would've been delighted to tell him everything she and the demon god discussed.

She's certainly not wrong. Just because the cursed blood will be shared amongst all the demons so they won't degenerate, doesn't mean that'll cure their cravings for human meat. Sonju is a perfect example of that. I also love how enthusiastically everyone is nodding their heads to Norman's words. The fact everyone would give up their freedom in the human world just to stay behind in the demon world with Emma is so precious. It would've been interesting to see all the humans live normal lives (as "normal" as they could possibly get anyway) in the demon world and whether or not they could actually coexist with the demons. I guess the second season sorta did that during that final episode slideshow where it had the fullscore trio and Lambda crew stay behind for a couple years before crossing over, but that was poorly done and covered the later story arcs instead of everyone living freely so that attempt doesn't count.

It's so wholesome to see everyone celebrate like this because Emma is still telling the truth here. They really really deserve to be excited and hopeful for their new lives in the human world.

It's so reassuring to know that the boys are still feeling just as suspicious about this reward as the entire fandom did.

The doubts don't last for much longer though since Emma starts speaking from her heart and we all know how motivating and optimistic she is when that happens. Emma has lied and put on great performances in the past in order to hide her real intentions, so the fact she's being completely true to herself and her feelings here is impressive since no one, not even Norman or Ray, could detect any other uncertainties about the reward with how efficiently she puts their wondering minds at ease.

Well I'm sure as hell not. (I do love this panel of her though.)

Relativity by M. C. Escher, but make it pretty and magical.

Sorry to say but she's definitely gonna forget you, Mujika. Not by choice of course, but consequently. I'll never get over that bittersweet smile of Emma's either.

Totally gonna be bias but I'm absolutely thrilled everyone ended up in what is essentially this world's version of New York. Aside from that, I was beyond worried about Emma obviously missing as she was previously holding onto Phil's hand for several pages before everyone crossed over, but I tried hard to push away all the anxious feelings by thinking of how exciting it would be to see the kids explore one of the world's largest cities. You know, after they find our very special sunshine child first of course. That's top priority.

Favorite panel/moment:

I love how these two panels blend into one another. Makes me wanna believe that Emma was in two places at once, as silly as that idea is, but she either used the ritual to just signal the demon god that everyone's ready or took a quick trip there and back to tell Him personally. It's probably the former (since I doubt there's still an active full moon), but the latter would've been a bit funny to see her disappear for an instant then have her return just as quickly.

[givehimthemedicine]

elmax mutuals, interest gauge on the wip ficlets currently in my rotisserie?

do not cry chapter 3 [el/max angstangstangst] (Max has just seen the clock and spends what she believes is the last night of her life with El for comfort)

I miss the apocalypse [el/max angstfluff] (dnc universe I think. Max has been living with El / the joppers during her recovery. the world didn't end after all. seeing the others start to make plans and move on with their lives fills Max and El individually with dread, neither knowing what their futures look like and not wanting to part. qpr elmax)

pool party chapter 2 [elmax fluff] (Max pov)

gentle [elmax fluff] (Max accidentally hits a sore spot with an offhand joke about how easily El could kill her. it's suddenly really important to El that Max thinks of her as gentle)

fool me thrice [max/el/lucas angst] (Max won't look at or speak to them when she wakes up because being tricked by Vecna one more time is more than she could take)

coma fic [lumax/elmax angst? fluff? not sure] (El and Lucas being there for Max during her coma. both have feelings for Max and there's a little tension about it between them, but they don't want it to come between their friendship)(elumax isn't the answer)

tub fic [el/max fluff] (a recovering Max insists she's strong enough to take a bath without help, but gets stuck in the tub)

beach fic [elmax fluff] (Max always wanted to show El the beach. they finally make it there for Max's 22nd birthday. she's blind so it's bittersweet)

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 20

FIVE YEARS AGO

I walk through the halls of my childhood home with my head held down. I know that both of my parents are in the living room. I'm dreading this conversation, but I know I don't have a choice. This isn't just about me anymore.

I walk into the living room and they barely pay me any attention as I stand anxiously in front of the couch upon which they sit.

"Mom? Dad? We need to talk," I finally say, swallowing thickly as they gaze at me with anxious curiosity.

"About what?" my mom asks.

"A few weeks ago, s-something happened and I didn't know how to tell you, but Mark Lucas...he, um, he did...things to me. I've been feeling sick lately so I took a test and...I'm pregnant."

It's silent for a minute. I can see the anger swelling on my parents' faces. For just a flicker of a moment, I stupidly believe they're angry at Mark for what he's done to me.

"You had sex with Mark Lucas? God, Y/N, I thought we raised you better than this," my moms spits with disgust. "You're too young for this. And now you're knocked up. I'm calling the doctor in the morning and we're going to get rid of this mistake of yours as soon as possible."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion as tears well in my eyes. "What? Mom, I didn't have sex with him-"

"Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure that's how a girl gets pregnant. By whoring herself out to the star football player," my mom yells. The vein is popping out of her neck. My dad remains silent.

"No, you aren't listening to me," I sob. "I didn't have sex with him. He- he made me do it, Mom. Dad," I pleaded. "You have to believe me, please."

They stare at me in silence. My mother's face has been taken over by a foreign expression of disgust. My father clenches his jaw. I can't tell what he's thinking.

"Quit lying, Y/N. If you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to own up to your mistakes instead of blaming them on someone else. I mean, rape? Did you honestly think that you could get away with accusing the town's golden boy of rape? First I find out you're a slut and now I find out that you're just a fucking idiot," my mother mutters.

"Mom," my voice cracks, shaking my head in shock at her words. "I promise I didn't have sex with him. He made me. I don't even- I don't even like guys that way. I like girls. Mom, Dad, please, you have to believe me," I beg, my chest shaking with sobs.

My father scoffs. It's the first time he's really reacted, and my eyes are instantly glued to him to see what happens. "So first you're sleeping with jocks like a whore, then you're pregnant, and now you're a dyke? What the fuck are you trying to do, Y/N? You're going to tear this family apart," my father snaps.

"Pack your bags and get out," my mother instructs coldly.

"What?" I breathe.

"Pack your bags and get out. You're no longer welcome under my roof. I won't have you ruining my reputation in this town. If you figure out how to stop lying and repent for your sins, maybe we'll consider letting you come back," she finishes

I stand there, frozen in place. This can't be happening right now. I look to my dad for help, but his eyes look just as hateful. I spin on my heels and run up to my room to pack my bags.

I'm out of the house within twenty minutes. I get in my cheap 1982 Chevy and drive to the edge of town. Sitting on the tailgate, I watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the trees.

"I guess it's just you and me now, huh?" I whisper to the little life growing inside my belly. "But that's okay. We don't need those assholes. I'll take care of you, you little Satanist. I promise. I'll keep you safe."

PRESENT DAY

"Get the fuck out. I don't want you around my kid."

"What? Y/N, don't be ridiculous. I'm your father," he tries to convince me.

"Not anymore. I'm done. I already have all the family I need."

"My flight doesn't leave until Saturday," he scoffs.

"So stay at a hotel. It's gotta be easier than trying to find an apartment at 16," I snap. "Pack up and get out. You have fifteen minutes."

I head to Syd's room and close the door behind me, leaning against it and taking a deep breath.

"You didn't want me to know about my dad, did you?" Syd asks quietly. I sigh and sit on the floor next to her.

"I...It's complicated, honey. But no, I didn't plan on telling you about him. He wasn't a good person."

"Did you love him?"

"No. I didn't."

"Well, that's okay. We don't need him," she states. "As long as we have each other, we'll be okay."

"Yeah, we'll be just fine," I sniffle quietly. "I'll always take care of you, you little Satanist. I'll keep you safe."

"I'll keep you safe too, Momma. Is Grandpa going to leave?"

"Yeah, baby, he is. Are you upset?"

She hesitates, thinking it over. "No. He's fun, but he makes you sad, and I don't like when you're sad."

I let out a watery laugh, silent tears now flowing freely down my face. Syd notices and frowns, crawling into my lap. She wipes the tears off my cheeks and kisses my forehead, the same way I've always done it for her.

"Don't cry, Momma. We'll be okay."

"I love you, Sydney. You know that, right?"

"I know. I love you too, Momma."

[crochetotterblog]

My California Girl

Chapter 1: Our Fifth Year

WORD COUNT: 2,511💕

Summary: Max comes home to find it trashed, heavily smelt of alcohol and cigarettes. She sighed, Billy always acts weird around this time of year, December specifically. Back in Cali he met the girl if his dreams, they only started dating for about 4 months until they had to move. Even though he doesn't want anything to do with Max or her friends, but Mike proposes that they should go to California for winter break...

A/N: sorry for not being active as much, working on a request and other stories!

Warning(s): 18+, drinking, swearing, smut, fighting, Jason Carter, talk about abuse, angst, fluff, (let me know if I missed any!)

Billy was lying on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling, beer in hand, cigarette between his lips. His sad records were playing on repeat, this year would mark the full 5th anniversary. The front door opens to reveal Max standing in the doorway with El, she covers her face scrunching her nose to the smell of beer lingering like a dark cloud of dread. 'God what's wrong now?' she asked herself. The two teens walked into the trailer following the beer skeleton trail. The two girls walked down the hall, to the only room with more than one hole in it; it was closed. 'Billy must be home...' she thought, El reading her mind nodded. Max knocked on the door softly, no response, she knocked once again. A faint groan could be heard, overpowered by blasting music. Max opened the door gingerly, poking her head in to see her older step-brother lying on his stomach face down. "Billy?" she asked, he lifted his head slowly to meet her eyes, only for gravity to pull him back down to the bed sheets. "Billy, come on, get over yourself" Max lightly shouted. Billy groaned in rebellion, Max felt sorry for her step-brother. Even though Billy hated Max, and wish she was never in his life, I mean Neil Hargrove did leave his biological mother for Max's mom. The affair had been happening for at least a year before his mother found out and left.

Max sighed, not knowing what to do really. After all, Max knew what had gotten Billy so depressed. "Billy, come on; you can't stay like this; she wouldn't want you to stay sulking around, drinking, and smoking yourself to death." Billy tried to push himself up from his mattress, "S-huuuuut up. N'one caressssss what you's think." Max shook her head, walking out of his room and into the kitchen. "Why is he so unhappy?" El asked, Max, sighed once again, her vision became blurry, and tears trickled out from her eyes. "...Max?" Max didn't answer, her head slumped as her body jerked once before the water gates opened. El put her hand on Max's shoulder in sympathy. El decided not to push Max, but she did radio the gang to ask them questions. "El to base, anyone there?" she asked softly.

"This is base, what's up?" Dustin asked, El smiled softly. "Um, I don't know, but Max is crying because Bill-" She was cut off "Billy what?!" Lucas screamed into his radio. Billy began to not hate Lucas so much, he was upset that his beautiful coffee, mocha-toned girlfriend is still in California without him. The way Lucas acts reminded him too much of her, so he told Max to stay away from him so he wouldn't have to hurt seeing his step-sister happy. Before El could speak to tell Lucas that Billy didn't say or do anything to Max. *click* is all El heard before Lucas went dead. "Oh this isn't good.." El whispered, Dustin agreed on the other side, "I'm going to grab Steve, Robin, and Eddie..." Dustin rushed before his line went dead as well. Not too long after Lucas and Dustin's lines went dead, there was banging on the trailer door, Billy turned up his music, drunkenly singing along to one of his favorite songs. Max sat on the crusty cough, covering her face and whispering to herself, "I'm sorry.." El walked to the door and turned the lock, only to be pushed out of the way but Lucas flinging the door open. He looked around the room and spotted Max on the couch with her hands over her eyes.

Lucas clung to Max. Steve wasn't happy about what they heard from Lucas and Dustin; Lucas oversaturated over the fact that Billy might have put his hands on Max. Steve walked towards the bombing music, clenching his fists. I mean him and Eddie have been caring for these gaggle of kids, Eddie followed Steve, not to help him beat Billy but to stop Steve from getting phsyical. Eddie has been in Billy's position, his mother wasn't like other mothers. His father passed away once he was born; his mother blamed him for his death. Until his mother got caught saying horrible things his Uncle was there to pick him up from that hell hole and to bring him into a calmer and nicer enviorment. Which worked, his uncle accepted him for being gay and was happy for his nephew. Other than that Eddie has been the calmer of the group, not because he smokes pot, but because he doesn't like to fight unless it is needed. "Lovebug, calm down, let's not bring more pain on this guy." Eddie reached out to Steve, trying to slow him down. "Listen," Eddie says pointing to Billy's room. 'Two Birds' by Regina Spektor; everyone went to a still, no one said a word. All that could be heard was Billy, drunkenly singing along to this slow sad song; "Two birrds on a wiiiiiiiiiiiire..." beer cans and bottles clank together as he moved around his room. A dark cloud flew over the group outside of Billy's room. "Fuck *hic* Maaaaax!" he yelled, Max's head shot up and she turned to his door, Billy tried to walk to his door, to leave his smelly room. Max stood up, "Billy, I know..." she said. Lucas looked at her, in shock; he has never seen the person he loves, care about Billy. They never got along but now, she is calm and trying to talk or reason with her step-brother. Billy let out a big sigh, "I-I...I miss her man...." Billy whispered. Billy didn't know anyone of her friends was in the trailer right now, he thought it was just Max, and only Max. That's why he started his drinking shaningins.

"I miss her too..." Steve ushered the kids out of the trailer, to leave Billy to his own devices. After all, he beat up Steve, almost killed Max's new friends, just overall not a good man towards the Hawkins group. At the Wheelers house, Max finally calmed down enough to explain the situation without giving to much detail on her soon to be sister. You and Billy have been dating every since you were in 7th grade. 5 years of ups and downs, and you both still want to be together. "Billy misses his girlfriend and I miss her too. Today is their 5th year anivisruay together; this is the first year they haven't been together. All because we moved from California to Hawkins.. Lucas, he doesn't hate you, just, the way you act and sound reminds him of her, the one person he truly loves. The one who helped him out of this dark hole."Billy was lying on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling, beer in hand, cigarette between his lips. His sad records were playing on repeat, this year would mark the full 5th anniversary. The front door opens to reveal Max standing in the doorway with El, she covers her face scrunching her nose to the smell of beer lingering like a dark cloud of dread. 'God what's wrong now?' she asked herself. The two teens walked into the trailer following the beer skeleton trail. The two girls walked down the hall, to the only room with more than one hole in it; it was closed. 'Billy must be home...' she thought, El reading her mind nodded. Max knocked on the door softly, no response, she knocked once again. A faint groan could be heard, overpowered by blasting music. Max opened the door gingerly, poking her head in to see her older step-brother lying on his stomach face down. "Billy?" she asked, he lifted his head slowly to meet her eyes, only for gravity to pull him back down to the bed sheets. "Billy, come on, get over yourself" Max lightly shouted. Billy groaned in rebellion, Max felt sorry for her step-brother. Even though Billy hated Max, and wished she was never in his life, I mean Neil Hargrove did leave his biological mother for Max’s mom. The affair had been happening for at least a year before his mother found out and left.

Max sighed, not knowing what to do really. After all, Max knew what had gotten Billy so depressed. “Billy, come on; you can’t stay like this; she wouldn’t want you to stay sulking around, drinking, and smoking yourself to death.” Billy tried to push himself up from his mattress, “S-hut up. No one cares what you think.” Max shook her head, walking out of his room and into the kitchen. “Why is he so unhappy?” El asked, Max, sighed once again, her vision became blurry, and tears trickled out from her eyes. “…Max?” Max didn’t answer, her head slumped as her body jerked once before the water gates opened. El put her hand on Max's shoulder in sympathy. El decided not to push Max, but she did radio the gang to ask them questions. “El to base, anyone there?” she asked softly.

“This is base, what’s up?” Dustin asked, El smiled softly. “Um, I don’t know, but Max is crying because Bill-“ She was cut off “Billy what?!” Lucas screamed into his radio. Billy began to not hate Lucas so much, he was upset that his beautiful coffee, mocha-toned girlfriend is still in California without him. The way Lucas acts reminded him too much of her, so he told Max to stay away from him so he wouldn’t have to hurt seeing his step-sister happy. Before El could speak to tell Lucas that Billy didn’t say or do anything to Max. *click* is all El heard before Lucas went dead. “Oh this isn’t good..” El whispered, Dustin agreed on the other side, “I’m going to grab Steve, Robin, and Eddie…” Dustin rushed before his line went dead as well. Not too long after Lucas and Dustin’s lines went dead, there was banging on the trailer door, Billy turned up his music, drunkenly singing along to one of his favorite songs. Max sat on the crusty cough, covering her face and whispering to herself, “I’m sorry..” El walked to the door and turned the lock, only to be pushed out of the way but Lucas flinging the door open. He looked around the room and spotted Max on the couch with her hands over her eyes.

Lucas clung to Max. Steve wasn’t happy about what they heard from Lucas and Dustin; Lucas oversaturated over the fact that Billy might have put his hands on Max. Steve walked towards the bombing music, clenching his fists. I mean he and Eddie have been caring for this gaggle of kids, Eddie followed Steve, not to help him beat Billy but to stop Steve from getting physical. Eddie has been in Billy’s position, his mother wasn’t like other mothers. His father passed away once he was born; his mother blamed him for his death. Until his mother got caught saying horrible things his Uncle was there to pick him up from that hell hole and to bring him into a calmer and nicer environment. Which worked, his uncle accepted him for being gay and was happy for his nephew. Other than that Eddie has been the calmer of the group, not because he smokes pot, but because he doesn’t like to fight unless it is needed. “Lovebug, calm down, let’s not bring more pain on this guy.” Eddie reached out to Steve, trying to slow him down. “Listen,” Eddie says, pointing to Billy’s room where he is playing ‘Two Birds’ by Regina Spektor; everyone went to a still, and no one said a word. All that could be heard was Billy, drunkenly singing along to this slow sad song; “Two birds on a wire…” beer cans and bottles clank together as he moved around his room. A dark cloud flew over the group outside of Billy’s room. “Fuck *hic* Maaaaax!” he yelled, Max’s head shot up and she turned to his door, Billy tried to walk to his door, to leave his smelly room. Max stood up, “Billy, I know…” she said. Lucas looked at her, in shock; he has never seen the person he loves to care about Billy. They never got along but now, she is calm and trying to talk or reason with her step-brother. Billy let out a big sigh, “I-I…I miss her man….” Billy whispered. Billy didn’t know any of her friends were in the trailer right now, he thought it was just Max, and only Max. That’s why he started this drinking episode.

“I miss her too…” Steve ushered the kids out of the trailer, to leave Billy to his own devices. After all, he beat up Steve, and almost killed Max’s new friends, just overall not a good man towards the Hawkins group. At the Wheeler's house, Max finally calmed down enough to explain the situation without giving too much detail about her soon-to-be sister. You and Billy have been dating ever since you were in 7th grade. 5 years of ups and downs, and you both still want to be together. “Billy misses his girlfriend and I miss her too. Today is their 5th year anniversary together; this is the first year they haven’t been together. All because we moved from California to Hawkins... Lucas, he doesn’t hate you, it's just, it's the way you act and sound that reminds him of her, the one person he truly loves. The one who helped him out of this dark hole.”

Mike looked at his friends, “Why don’t we take him to California?” he asked. El shot a glare toward him, she didn’t want Billy to be in California if it meant that he would try to kill everyone again or something. Max, with her red, puffy eyes, looked at Mike confused, “What do you mean?” she asked, Mike smiled, “I mean I am going to California with El to visit Jonathan and Will. Why don’t we bring him with us? Maybe that way he can surprise her?” This is the first time, Mike actually cared about someone and wasn’t thinking about himself and his girlfriend El. Max looked at her shoes and then back at the trailer. “Maybe that will work; thanks for the idea, Mike. For once I thank you” she snorted at her own comment. Everyone laughed at Max’s comment. Max felt calmer now, knowing that her friends who are now family care about her that much to suggest we all go to California to visit Will but also so Billy could finally see his lover after a long year.

Not far from the trailer park, Jason and his group of friends overheard everything. “So the almighty Billy Hargrove has a weak spot?” he whispered to Ryan. Ryan chuckled, “I guess so; what we doin’ boss?” he asked. Jason smiled, “Pack your things, we are going to California…”

Tags🏷️:

@harringtonfan4

[tommytranselo]

thinking about how underused luca was again...like he would've done better for that long drawn out "your boss is gonna fuck you over" plot like sure we got it with carlo but he's surface-level calm and kind of charming. luca inspires real dread. not even necessarily that he's physically intimidating, you could probably break him in half, but he's like your neighbor's shitty little untrained yippee dog that you take one look at and just know oh god that fucking thing is gonna bite me one of these days. like you take one look at this dude and the vibes are just rancid, you can see he sees through vito's tough guy act and that he makes joe visibly nervous (and at a closer glance henry too which is even more telling). he's chekhov's gun–you know from the very introduction of his character he's going to cause problems. he's ten pounds of dynamite and he's going to go off any day now. he's an early shot of a guillotine that makes you go "ohh somebody is getting beheaded in this movie." like i saw that whole "people the president pointed his finger at" enhange and realized oh god, vito's naive enough to try to impress this guy and get on his good side and luca knows that and is going to use it against him. i was SO ready to have the absolute dread of this man hanging over me for several more chapters and then it went absolutely nowhere. what a fucking waste!

and also he made such a good contrast to henry too. you get introduced to the clemente family with this charming very handsome poster boy of what The Life is supposed to be and he's your friend now and it's all good, but then oops here's the big fish and he sucks. most viscerally unpleasant man imaginable. just radiates malice. henry's one of those wiseguys you used to see around the neighborhood as kids but luca's a gangster. and then clemente comes out and bitch slaps him and it's like oh, here's the BIG fish and he's even fucking worse! that didn't work with the falcone family because carlo makes the mobster-sophisticate thing work too well and eddie's just funny (and too forgiving). with the clemente family, the facade is a glass wall. you can't actually acknowledge the fact they suck because you'll get in trouble doing that, but it's extremely obvious. anyway tldr luca works best with the boss betrayal thing because you know immediately that he's gonna do it, it's just a question of when

you know who they did that well with? derek and steve. you don't see them nearly as much so that dread isn't as strong, but there's that same introduction where you're like, oh, these guys are bad news. ostensibly on your side, once you do the job for them, but bad news. something's just off. and then a full eleven chapters later, that's when they drop the bombshell. holy shit, this guy killed your dad! now THAT'S fucking suspense. why the hell couldn't they have done that with luca?

[yuichi-ro]

Its meeeeeeeeeeee 😁 Here with a ? that I don't think I've asked yet lol

Ahem- How does Baji and Hanma go about Lucas's first bday party where friends are invited. It's not just family anymore. But an actual bday party with other people and other kids. Are they stressed? Going with the flow? Hoping it all just kind of comes together? Totally on top of it?

And are they crying at their child's first friend bday party? Are you crying?

Haajee ♡

I was writing Wakasa smut and you interrupted me with actual thinking 😐

Though it's a full household, it's not like a big family? If that makes sense. Like we don't associate with a lot of extended family. It's basically always my mom and grandma and then Baji's mom. Hanma is severely low contact to no contact with his family. And he certainly really doesn't let them get to indulge in grandkids (if his parents are even in the picture tbh) So the birthday party thing once we have kids is pretty intimate for the most part.

First birthday for Lucas it's only family. As is Ren's first birthday. And probably the following second birthday for them too doesn't involve friends either bc the boys are just that close knit that they wouldn't really notice or care if other kids were there. So we make it to Lucas's third birthday before having to throw an actual official kid's party where other's are invited.

I am stressed. I am the stress monkey. I'm the one trying to make everything perfect. Look perfect. Taste perfect. No meltdowns. No tantrums. I'm the one pulling my hair out dreading and freaking and running on fumes until it's over.

Baji or Hanma aren't as stress driven as I am. They aren't useless though they at least let me be as neurotic as I am while doing what they can to pick up the slack. Baji really likes decorating whatever the theme is. Hanma puts the gift bags/party favors together for the other kids and his own. Baji is aloud to cut wrapping paper but Hanma is the only one allowed to wrap and tape things. I am the only one cooking and baking though. We do successfully get a fairly presentable party together. It's very obvious low budget but it's still enough to wow a three yr old

The day of the actual party I am too wound up making things go on time to be emotional. And to be fair I'm not an overly emotional person (I cry later that week or six months when I see pictures again at random) Baji is pretty much on kid duty. As a giant child he speaks their language and avoids adult duties by being on kid watch. Fair trade I'll give him that I don't wanna entertain toddlers. Hanma on the other hand is the outlier. He doesn't exactly have a "job" on birthday day besides appease the other adults and make sure they get what they need (he's charming, illegally so, so I put him to work) and picking up slack with the kids or with me cooking/hosting. He's honestly the one that gets emotional. When Baji's squatted down next to Lucas showing his kid how to blow out his total of three candles and keeping Ren from doing it. Seeing his son excited before I can even light the candles. And even if it's only like two other kids his age plus Ren, Hanma is getting teary eyed bc he just didn't have this. Any of it. And is never certain he deserves it when he steps outside the hectic bubble to be an outsider again. Hanma's friends are pretty much just me and Baji only. He's acquainted with people we're friends with but his friend group is really only his partners. And he didn't have this kind of just puking cute domestic kind of lifestyle growing up that he knows he missed something as a kid. He just never understood what it was he missed out on until he's getting to see his kids enjoy so much of it.

The kids and the family make Hanma teary eyed. He'll deny that he isn't but that bitch is wiping the corners of his eyes in his tshirt acting like no one's watching. But we know he's a giant softie on his kiddos and them growing up both excites and scares him to no end.

[yandere-sin-and-obsession]

Deals made

Kaya and Lucas oc lore

He didn't get it; she looked ordinary. A little young and maybe a little insecure, but ordinary. As he approached her, her eyes followed him, and his heart seemed to race as he got closer. He stood in front of her as she downed whatever coffee concoction was in the Starbucks cup in her hands. She stared at him in a way he found disturbing almost like she was picking him apart.

"You're Lucas, right? Lucas Mercia," his heart seemed to stop.

"yeah," he croaked out before clearing his throat, "How'd you know?"

"You're one of Joshua's friends," he moved to sit down in front of her and felt as if her eyes narrowed in on him. "I'm kaya, but you can call me Kai," For a moment, they sat in silence as she stared at him, downing her drink while he refused to make eye contact with her.

"Hey, Kai!" he turned to someone calling her name. A girl he recognized came towards her. "Here's what you ordered; they didn't have apple pies though, so, sorry about that," she took a moment to breathe before her eyes landed on Liam, "Oh, hey, Lucas," She seemed to be mortified to see him, but tossed him a strained smile.

"Thank you, Addi," she gave her a big smile before she waved her away.

"How do you know Adaline," kaya looked at him, her smile tightened into a grin.

"I know everybody."

"What do you mean by that,"

"You want to borrow some money, right?" a dread settled in his heart, a black void resting in his stomach.

"uh, ye...yeah," uneasiness washed over his body.

"Okay, I need to know the amount, and then you need to sign a small disclosure that says you'll pay me back, then everything's gravy," she smiled at him as she pulled out a small packet of papers, "You'll put the amount here, then, you sign here, here, and here,"

"How much am I allowed to request?"

"as much as you need,"

They sat there in silence as Lucas ran the numbers through his head, taking into account his housing and the cost of his up-and-coming college debts. He wasn't sure if he'd even be in debt, but Lucas would rather be safe than sorry; pulling the contract towards him, she pulled out a pen, and he jotted down the amount and signed his name three times.

"Thank you," she snatched the papers away from him, "cash this, and you're all good,"

"This isn't the full amount,"

"Think about it, honey, that much money. All into your bank account, all at once, its suspicion; I'll give the amount to you in small increments every two weeks; text me and meet me here," Kaya began to pack up her things.

"Is it too late to ask if this is a scam," she giggled before walking past him.

"Im a woman of my word," she faced him as she walked away from him.

"I don't even have your number," he shouted at her.

"left pocket," he checked his right, "Your left, dummy," as he checked his other pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper.

Kaya Sakrura <3

8**-*2*-4**9

Lucas sighed, and his entire body relaxed as he watched her retreating form, as he no longer felt like pins and needles were stabbing through his body. His phone buzzed in his pocket; flipping it open, he noticed an unknown number had messaged him, 'Remember, nothing is truly ever free. <3' and suddenly Lucas felt like he would be sick.

[void-bitten-ghost]

Okay so. Back on my SCP bullshit

SCP Wintersberg. They're both SCPs but Ethan is fairly new to the facility (being given up to them by Mia as soon as his corpse she was burying started to regrow it's head) and is in class euclid because whenever he gets tested he accidentally gumifies and spores the personnel.

Karl is also technically euclid but he's been there forever and has special roaming privileges because he's a pet project of one of the top researchers (mother dearest (derogatory)). He knows of Ethan by name but not much else, him being mother dearest's new favourite pin cushion. It gives him time to scheme.

But yeah, Karl wants out. He orchestrated the containment breach in a way to cause the most manageable chaos that is useful to himself. In theory, at least. But he's had enough. The testing, the prodding, the being paraded around like some walking failure that might still be useful one day...

There's a slight hitch in his plan, though. All of his security stuff is declined, all of his pass codes, his key cards, everything he had lined up for his escape falls apart because something or someone has fucked with the system.

Enter Ethan Not-A-Fcking-Again Winters.

He can't help but think Lucas would have a field day working on the security team here. The electric gates and the layered card system, the many, many, many things that want to kill him...

It's all a big puzzle, and Ethan was fairly okay at those. He gets on pretty well finding all the information on the other SCPs and cataloguing them on his clipboard. He even found a digital map and some playing cards (don't judge him he's spent years in a plain cell in this shithole he wants the cards).

Karl though, he is clever. Not the same sort of patient clever, but just enough to make it to the other side of the facility.

And that's where they both meet the crying man.

(Also Karl's got that mannequin just. Following him now. He's gotten used to it.)

But yeah Karl isn't that familiar with this side of the facility. He didn't think to brush up since his original plans A and B were pretty linear. He didn't expect to need to go this far in to get out.

Ethan though, Ethan has been doing his homework and knows deep in his bones as soon as he hears the faint sobs that this is dangerous oh shit oh fuck stay calm look down-

But then he hears booted footsteps and panics shit security personnel with guns he's not supposed to be out of his cell shit what do i do-

"A class D? You're a long way from home, aren't you?"

D?? Oh. Oh yeah he forgot about the jumpsuit he morphed. He thought it'd be better if he saw any other inmates to look like them and not... someone else. Someone they'd hold a grudge against. Or fear. He's so, so tired of being feared.

Ethan glances up and huh. That's not personnel uniform. Not nearly clean enough to be one of the more eccentric doctors either.

But he's looking around like he doesn't have a damn clue what is wailing just beyond those bloodied windows. And then he bangs his fist against the glass like a fucking madman what the f-

"Quit your goddamned whining," he screams and who the fuck does he think he is? Does he think he has a chance against something that could tear an entire platoon of fully armed men apart in a few breaths???

"Are you insane?" Ethan screeches from his crouched position across the hall.

"Debatable," he casually replies. "Depends who you ask."

Great. Fantastic. A lunatic with a sense of humour.

"Get. Down."

"Why? It's just some walking corpse crying for sympathy."

"A walking corpse with the ability to put you on a census somewhere if you don't shut the fuck u-"

That cold tingle down his spine, the overwhelming sense of dread and everything else going still. That big concrete baby was behind him oh fuck-

"Move towards me," the man with the obnoxious hat said, his unblinking eyes looking beyond Ethan and not moving.

Well. No argument from him. He keeps his eyes down and does as he's told for once. The fear of his spine being snapped doing wonders for his discipline. He needs to survive. He needs to find Rose. And it's that need that spurs him on.

Karl on the other hand, is now reconsidering his position here. He felt confident dealing with one SCP alone if needed. But with two in front of him, one behind him, and big boy Larry close on his heels, he doesn't quite feel as confident. He's not completely stupid with pride, after all, despite what many assumed. And another set of eyes to keep the baby from being a nuisance would probably help a lot...

But yeah, gonna stop there. Maybe there is a fic here I dunno I just love these idiots being forced into situations where they have to work together to not die horrifically

[stupidstupidratcreatures]

this is very long overdue anon sorry about that. sorry also that i didn't paragraph or organize this well. Vinny Gender Post Ahead, andre and avani and also anyone else planning to read/reading vanitas who isn't fully caught up there are huge spoilers here so don't look

i will be using he pronouns in this post because i used the specific words "the joker for boymoders" for a reason. i am aware that thinking of vinny as like closeted or an egg or whatever is not the intended takeaway, especially because the fucking mikhail thing is like an arm's length away from it, but also i do honestly think that vinny being intensely uncomfortable with The State Of Being Male is like an intended read. shinji ikari situation. except the author is trying to make a point instead of trying to create a guy that sucks. anyway:

1: his whole thing, the reason why he's Like That, is his sense of dread and revulsion at growing into something forced on him, painfully, from a young age, by someone far more proud of the role they could force him into than by the person he actually was, for reasons he wasn't given an explanation for until it was already* too late

2: his view of being a man, and especially playing the role of the Man to someone's Woman in a heterosexual relationship, exclusively as something harmful to others and/or himself (examples include: every single time he's appeared in the same scene as or thought about jeanne, the "convenient females" thing (yeah. sorry) where he leverages him being A Man and domi being A Woman to hurt her feelings so she tortures him harder. arguably also the thing he says to ruthven a few chapters later about "examining the queen's body" meant to provoke ruthven and luca into having a reaction to their female coworker's disrespect. probably one or two more but i don't feel like lookinf for them)

3: his monochrome outfit in the color associated with the pain in point 1, how that color is blue, the color Designated As Male, and how specifically evocative the outfit is of masculine formalwear/a suit (the collared shirt and waistcoat under a dark jacket**, the bowtie). the reason i think this is notable thinking about this and connecting these specific dots in this specific way are his gloves, which look exactly like luna's hands, that he wears specifically to cover up luna's mark. idk how to like put this to words but the thing of like dressing as, taking the name of, and playing the role of the thing he Doesn't Want To Become to kind of an exaggerated degree as an attempt to avoid having to confront the fact that it is Actually There And Branded On His Body and that it all makes him deeply deeply uncomfortable. the joker for boymoders, wearing their dysphoria gloves. obviously there is also something connecting to like. the sexual abuse necessary to create a gendered subject. the way luna's mark is framed as something awful and traumatic yet ultimately "helpful" for him to grow into an Adult Man. the way he reveals the mark at the bal masque in order to antagonize and provoke fear in the crowd. like i think i've always been a bit jokey about this but like i do think that this all being there like this is intentional

* i do not think there is ever an age where it's Actually Too Late to come out as trans and socially and/or medically transition, and also this is an idea that's ideologically repulsive to me. however i and i think most other trans people feel that way in bad moments, mourning a life you never had or feeling like you have to make up for lost time. i also don't know for sure if it's Actually Too Late for vinny, it seems a little late in the game and also uncharacteristic of mochizuki and the story to introduce something that would like be able to turn him back into a human or remove the mark or w/e. if something like this does get introduced i think it'll either be introduced as something completely beyond his grasp or noé will encounter it after he's died. or both

** i know it's drawn to be like a furisode but combined with the shirt, the waistcoat, and the bowtie it does Look Like A Suit in a way that doesn't seem accidental. also it has a collar and lapels

i dont know how to end this post. end of post

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 126

Chapter 126: "A Three-Person Talk"

They're all so cute with how supportive they are to each other, even the paradise kids who have only known the escapees a couple days.

Y'all know I live for this trio and any moment where they all interact.

I may be stupid with this, but I still don't understand how Chris' injury works.. Emma said in ch109 the bullet grazed him, there's clearly no scar or mark left on his head and no damage to his brain, so why the hell is this precious boy suffering?? He deserves better than this! Aaaahh.

I think the level of hatred the Lambda crew feels is so intense compared to others (Ray, the GP squad, etc) because they actively have someone (aka: Norman) who is constantly fueling those negative emotions to use for their advantage. Ray suffered his whole young life at the hands of Isabella but eventually turned over a new leaf because he had someone like Emma at his side who has undoubtedly influenced him to become a more open, understanding person. The same could be said about the GP resistance with their saving grace being Lucas as their mentor and father figure. Lucas might've trained those kids to fight so they could defeat the poachers, but there's a clear malice level difference between those kids and the Lambda crew.

Speak up louder, sweetie! You're totally correct!

Naturally, Ray also speaks some truths, as he would know firsthand since he's once harbored such hatred as previously mentioned.

I'm the tiniest bit happy some of this conversation gets adapted, though it gets cut short here as Norman reappears and causes some pages to get skipped. It isn't much since the situation is a bit different regarding anime vs manga anyway but whatever.

Ray: brilliantly explaining the cause and effects or war. Me: teehee, he gives head pats.

I'm sorry but the fact this panel only shows a big grin on Norman's face and not his eyes is too silly for me to not mention.

When the manga says that Ray is the only one who can match wits with Norman, it certainly wasn't lying.

Talk about holding a serious grudge.

You dunno how thankful I am to Emma for breaking down the long explanation of Norman's plan into simple terms.

If there was ever a perfect moment for a record scratch then this would be it.

Favorite panel/moment:

The anime tried their best but didn't quite hit the same intense feeling of dread as this panel.

[soup-du-silence]

I saw your post about Luca disliking school, and I think an underrated possibility is that Luca is good at school and bad at a LOT of other things. "Good at school" is often shorthand in fiction for general competence and ability, when in reality it's not much of an indicator of anything in adult life. And that can be very unpleasant to realize firsthand!

Ive been thinking of it as... "good at learning" is not the same as "good at school." A person can be good at learning but bad at, say, sitting still in one place for 6 to 8 hours a day, or obeying an unfamiliar and often cruel social hierarchy, or submitting to authority. I think of kids for whom school is such an unbearable social nightmare they'd rather do anything but go. I think of kids with adhd or dyslexia or other special needs who are punished and forgotten and shuffled into special ed as lost causes instead of helped to succeed. I think specifically of Luca, a sea monster joining human society, who doesn't use the same calendar as humans, who probably has a whole host of specialized knowledge the human adults in his life are going to tell him is wrong simply because they don't understand it, who will be so far behind his peers that he'll almost certainly be shuffled primary school lessons, and be made to catch up, and the adults who will look down at him as stupid for it, and while he'll probably love science and literature and maybe even math, might struggle with the whole history of a culture he knows nothing about, or religion he doesn't understand.

I think Luca is curious and he has a thirst for knowledge, and I remember being that same way as a kid. But I also remember the threshold at which school stopped being fun. When teachers stopped being people I looked up to, when the cruelty of my peers meant dreading waking up on the morning. I remember when the gray fog of depression meant information could no longer stick, and I couldn't make my brain work at the necessary level to take my academic interests any further than middle school level.

I think there's a possibility Luca wont excel in the traditional school system, and I think if that's the case, if he has the option to get out, get on that Vespa and go see the world, then he should, before school crushes the curiosity out of him.

And I don't think he's not capable, that he cant buckle down and do the work and make it through school and university and beyond. But to what end? Who cares. Success doesn't have to be measured that way, for the reason you said. "Good at school" isn't an indicator of anything, let alone worth. Graduation doesn't make you a better, more accomplished person. Plenty of us loved learning but were bad at school and now we have humble lives and humble jobs and that's fucking fine, actually.