#dont even know why i woke up my dream was fine

[semiotomatics]

who up experiencing the horrors

[brainrotdotorg]

Not gonna lie gang. Going through it currently

[silissa]

.

[mattssidehoe]

౨ৎ can’t sleep-chris sturniolo ౨ৎ

summary: its 2 am and you cant sleep so you go to chrises room..

warnings: a bit of cursing

an: y’all i’m getting better at writing😋

you are having a sleepover with nick. its already 2 am and you still couldn’t sleep. so you decided to go to chris’s room because you knew he always stayed up to 3 am or longer. but not this time. when you entered his room he was already sleeping so you woke him up.

"chris?", you whispered quietly. "hm?" he mumbles slightly. his eyes were still closed. "are you awake?" "nmm" he grunded still trying to sleep. "well i cant sleep so you need to entertain me now." you said energetic. "wha- its 2 am, you woke me up. why dont you talk to nick?"

"because he is asleep duh." "why the hell didnt you talk to him before he was awake? i’m about to go back to sleep." "i only came because usually you are still awake at this time." "well not this time." he said groggily and he tried to close his eyes again.

"no dont you dare to close your eyes." you said too quick. "hmph. fine, then i’m just gonna lay here and try to sleep." he layed back down and turned on the side. "no chris please dont" you whined a bit. "please leave me alone, i dont wanna talk to you." he said with his eyes closed, trying really hard not to open them and yell at you

"would you still sleep when i would tell you something crazy?" you asked him, in hope he would finally stop falling asleep. he stopped and looked at you. "wha-fine, what do you have to say?" he finally spoke, still trying not to fall back asleep. "did you know i’m pregnant with matts kid?" he jolted up slightly, wide eyed. "WH-WHAT?!"

"yes i’m sorry." "wait so my brother is gonna be a dad?" "well i’m going to keep it so yea matts going to be a dad." "when…when did this happen?" " oh know i was over once and he always gave me those pleading eyes." chris was absolutely shocked. "wait so you and my brother-" "yes we fucked so what? we can fuck too if you want?"

"am i dreaming this because this is weird as fuck." "no its all real." " i can’t believe this..he literally slept once with you and now you’re pregnant.is he happy at least?" you almost bursted out laughing because that what you just told him was of course not true. how could he be so stupid and actually believe it.

you ignored his question. "chris?" "y-yeah..?" "should i tell you something?" he was getting worried from what you were gonna say,but he nodded anyway wanting to know. "i’m not fucking pregnant you idiot." "WHAT!" he screamed as he jolted up,grabbing his head. "YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY PREGNANT!?"

"STOP SCREAMING AND NO I’M NOT!" "JESUS! you gave me a heart attack! why the hell are you doing this to me? for a prank!?" "yes i didnt want you to go to sleep."he slowly layed back down again, still trying to relax after you almaot gave him a heart attack. "so it was all a lie?" "yes." "you had me worried for nothing just to get me not to bed?" "well your fault." you shrugged. "…fine. but dont ever do that again." he then started to close his eyes to go back to sleep. "okay at least let me sleep with you." "what?" his eyes went wide again as he looked in disbelief. "what?" "you-want-you want to sleep in the same bad as me?" "yes, is that a problem?"

"no.." he grumbled as he scooted over a little. "thanks." you said. "mmm." he moved over a bit more, as he was now closer to you. "hey..?" "hm?" he glanced over to you. "uhm could you maybe-" you stopped talking because suddenly it became weird what you wanted to say. "you know what? just forget it?" "no..just say whatever you were gonna say."

"no i think its a bad idea." "just tell me." he scooted over a little closer, and put his arm around you, bringing you even closer. "could you stroke my back a little bit?" he nodded. "sure thing." he moved his left hand under your shirt and began to run his fingers slowly,gently down your back. "thanks that’s relaxing." he slowly kept on stroking your back and he was silent the whole time but you could still notice he was breathing pretty quietly. he kept on continuing for a little bit but then he stopped. "you know..i have to tell you something." "i actually do too." you said. "ladies first." he giggled but he only said that because he was scared to tell you first.

"i love you." you said. he seemed speechless as you told him that, his hand still on your back. "y-you love me?" he mumbled. "yea" you grew nervous because he didn’t said anything back. "do you love me too?" you asked after a while. he nodded almost immediately, as he started to rub your back again. "yes..yes i love you a lot." " great so i justs didnt make a fool out of myself." he giggled a little bit. "goodnight chris." "goodnight y/n"

[lilyfraci]

Merman Kokushibou x Fem! Reader (PART 2)

PART2 IS HERE👑

You can't feel anything and you felt like you were floating on clouds 9. Blood drooling down to your temple. What happened? Where are the sailors? Are they okay? Where are they? Is max okay?

I dont remember…

"Don't forget me… And I won't forget you either… "

Huh? A voice? It sounds so different but i know its clearly a guy type. Who is it? It sounds like a melody to my ears.

You tried to process everything even in this unconscious state, trying to connect all of your cells back together.

"I would forever stare into your enchanting eyes… So beautiful.. Just like you… "

This is so heavenly to listen such a soft song, but am i dreaming? If not… Then who is it?

You feel yourself finally getting consciousness as you groaned a little, alerting the person who was singing. You pry yur eyes open slowly but your vision are still blurry and your head starts to get a headache making you even groan louder and louder by any seconds.

Suddenly you hear someone screaming, its man's voice and you recognize it. It was the knights and to mention, you hear a loud splash.

"She's alive! The princess is alive! Alert the king!"

👑

"I got myself weak again. " "… " "I wanna be yours, and you'll be mine. "

👑

Everything was going smoothly, birds singing and a sun was pretty bright outside making the flowers bloom beautifully. An unconscious princess was laying down to her bed, comfortably and peacefully.

You woke up with a headache and a bandage on your head. The sunlight illuminate the room brightly making you squint your eyes and groan in tiredness. Yur body felt weak and a little bit of in pain.

"W-what happened..?" You groaned before rubbing the temple of your head.

You hear your door slowly opening as you turn your head to it and saw your dad peeking his head and was shocked to see you fully awake as he immediately rushes at you with a grateful and a guilt expression and held both of your hands.

"My daughter!! You're awake! Dear god… Thank you! Im glad that you made it out alive.. " He spoke with such happiness and tears running down to his cheeks before looking down.

"I'm so sorry, my daughter… I'm so sorry that this happened to you because of me! If this stupid of mine didn't existed then you would be fine and good! I felt so bad for what you've gone through… "

He looked down as he sobs quietly, trying to gulp down his breakdown.

Your face went soft as you smiled before putting a hand on your father's head and patting it.

"I'm fine dad…. And i already forgave you, please don't ever feel ashamed of it." You said gracefully.

And that, both you and your father hugged, enjoying this moment together.

👑

The ocean was always so beautiful and bright, as if it was a second version of heaven. But deep inside, there was dark and evil under it and it's true,

The ocean can be both good and bad.

. . .

"You know… That human will never ever loved you back! Just look at yourself!"

"Shut your mouth, ugly eyes. You're annoying me. "

"Awhh!! Why are you both always so cold and mean to-"

"That doesn't matter to you, if i loved her then do not interfere because you're not apart of this."

"Oh… Is that so? Besides… Don't you think humans are all the same? Imagine if she sees your eyes! Would she be terrified?"

"Ugh, im leaving. This is just a waste of time. "

HII!! IM BACK! SORRY IF THIS WAS SHORT BUT TRUST ME, I'LL WORK EVEN MORE FASTER AND HARDER FOR YOU GUYS!!

PART 3 is in progress 👑

[nowimyurdaisy]

Cool For The Summer?

pairing: billy hargrove x reader

warnings: asshole billy? spelling errors?

summary: to him it was a summer fling the kind you see on tv, except unknown to billy you had developed feelings and so had he.

a/n: the ending kinda sucks, sorry. this is my first billy fic, be nice pls. can’t wait to write post part 2! enjoy <3

masterlist

-✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧- 

It was a summer fling, the kind you see on tv. 

The day you two met was when you went to the Hawkins Community Pool, you were there babysitting your little sister and her friends. You were sunbathing, your usual routine. When he saw you, in your black bikini top and pink bikini bottoms, he thought you had THE bikini bod. He had to refrain himself from moaning, gosh you looked so damn hot, 

When you got up to go to the vending machine, Billy intercepted you, “hey babe” was all he said two words, that made you roll your eyes but also weak in the knees.” 

Hi, how can I help you?” you ask, making a grimace. 

“I just wanna know your name doll, is that a crime?” Billy asked, smirking.

“y/n, y/n y/l/n” your lips curved into a small smile as you spoke, “and why must you know?”

“No reason babe, i’ll see you around” and with that Billy smirked, turned around and walked away. Leaving you to watch that fine ass move back toward the stand. 

The next time you saw Billy was only a few days later, your parents insisted you take your little sister to the pool with her friends again. You wore a yellow bikini this time. When Billy saw you again, he remembered how lucky he is, your body had been on his mind since last saturday, and honestly his body was on your mind too. This time Billy wasn;t gonna waste anymore time. When he came down from his shift he headed straight to you, walked past all the drooling moms, honestly it's disgusting they are all married, they need to get their heads out of the gutter, that's what you always thought at least. “Hey doll” Billy greeted you on this very hot afternoon.

“You know, now that you know my name, you could at least call me it” you stated.

“Why would I take all the fun out of it, seeing you all flustered?” Billy sat down hand grazing up your thigh now. You were speechless. “You look extra hot today sweetheart” Billy loved seeing you get all flustered as he tried new (seducing) nicknames on you. “You, me dinner tonight, my place” he whispered in your ear, then slipped his phone number into your hand. And left, leaving you more flustered than normal, today just got even hotter. 

It was around 7 o'clock, you were getting ready to head over to billy’s. Your radio playing faintly in the background “Don’t. Don't you want me? You know i can't believe it when i hear that you won't see me dont dont you want me? You know I don't believe you when you say you don’t need me” you hummed along. You curled the tips of your hair, put on a nice shade of raspberry pink lipstick, then put on a slim crop top, fishnets & booty shorts, and sandals (it was the 80s what could you say, fashion was terrible). Tha\en finished your makeup, grabbed your purse and ran out the door. 

When you arrived at his house, you knocked once then twice then he answered. “Hey doll”

“Hi billy” you said flustered already, god this was gonna be a long night.

“Damn sexy stuff, imma have some fun with you.” he opened the door wider, “ come in” you walked in inside. His bare chest on full display, a button up shirt loosely fit around his shape, and jeans on the bottom, and lets not forget about that chain he was wearing. Billy then showed you to his room.  “So what's for dinner?” you asked. 

“You” he responded simply. He got out some beer, and then he picked you up and spun you around, you squealed “Billy”. That was the last thing you remember from that night. 

You woke in unknown sheets, in someone else’s bed, you rolled over and saw a peacefully sleeping billy, ‘holy shit did you really just sleep with billy fucking hargrove’!!?? It all felt like a dream but here you are in his bed, wait, NAKED! Holy- this really is real! 

“Morning sweetheart” Billy mumbled, god his morning voice sounded like a dream, and then he turned over and draped his arm across your bare stomach. 

After that morning you didn't hear from Billy much, you did go to the pool a few more times, but you guessed you must have just missed his shift. The moms always looked at you like you were the disgusting one for sleeping with Billy, while they eye ogled him all day every day. YOu always just gave them the side eye. YOu would not be known as ‘y/n the slut’. And then out of the blue, you get a call from Billy asking if he could come over, and of course you said yes. Then one thing led to another and you woke up next a naked billy, in your bed this time, with a purple hickey on your neck and it felt like a dream once again. 

From then on, every time you went to the pool, Billy would drag you away, and kiss you, and make you feel weak in the knees, leaving hickeys in the most visible places. But leaving you a mess just the same, saying such sweet things, things every girl wants to hear, and then leaving you alone in the morning. Once when you asked why you weren't public, why he didn't want to show you off. He simply replied “I can keep a secret, can you?” and with that we never talked of the subject again. 

After feeling used over and over again, after late night conversations and sex, then the next day seeing him flirt with some new girl, and not even spare you a glance. You were done with it. You slowly started ghosting him, there was only a couple weeks left of summer, you could just not go to the pool, and it would be easy to avoid him at school, you thought. Unluckily for you, Billy noticed this change.

One day he confronted you, he saw you at the pool that day, and he pulled you aside. You reluctantly listened to him. “y/n” he started, anger laced in his voice, “where the hell have you been?!”

“I don't know” you shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

“I don't know!?! How could you not know?! You’ve been ghosting me!!” Billy shouted louder this time. 

“I'm tired of feeling used all the time!” you yelled, and turned away. Billy grabbed your wrist, you flicked his grasp away, and walked off without another glance.

⚘like you said it was just a summer fling⚘

-✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧-

if you wanna be tagged in more billy and/or stranger things fics: taglist

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

[ipegchangbin]

thinking about that one dream i had where i rejected changbin it was so wild. im gonna ramble about it

i had this dream a long while ago when i was only a few months fresh into stanning skz but holy shit man

we had each others numbers somehow and we texted every day and night, our conversations going from “im grateful to have you as my biggest fan” to “did you eat? lmk if you are” and we even started calling. HE WAS EVEN FLIRTING WITH ME GOING “ofc i want to talk to a fan as gorgeous as you” and “its fine to have fantasies over someone as hot as me” LIKE?:!/?

we grew closer and closer but we started texting less since we both got busy … until he confessed and said “i really love you and id love to know you better outside of this” but i made the stupid decision to reject him because 1) i was an international fan, and 2) i didnt want it to be risky for him since i would become a nonshowbiz s/o. after that we stopped texting as a whole mostly bc i think i ghosted him for his own good???

BUT DONT WORRY!! IT GETS WORSE

fast forward i end up winning a fancall with him (so stupid of me) and he recognized me right away. he straight up froze and didnt know what to do but we had to go along like nothing happened so as to not get the staff suspicious. like we were both visibly panicking but he had to act all cute like nothing happened. after the call he messaged again saying “i missed you. all this time i never lost my feelings for you and all i could ever think about is you”

BUT ALL I SAID WAS “ill still be your number one fan and hopefully soon the odds will be in our favor”

AND THEN I WOKE UP. LITERALLY THE WORST FEELING EVER IM STILL SO MAD ABOUT IT. LIKE WHAT DID I MEAN????? WHY DID I DO THAT!:!/?:?

and before anyone says this is fic worthy:: contrary to popular belief im not a fan of idol aus. this made me want to sneak in a corner and cry so hard

[flowers-that-sing]

dreamt that my friend and i were hanging out in the campus library, i read this car therapy book??? and it looked like a kids book but it had the fuck word in it. we had a little heart to heart.

and then we were going back to our dorms and i said i’d walk him back. i walked him back, it was like really snowy, like there were several feet of snow, he got back to his dorm fine, but on the way back to mine, there was a platypus. and if u don’t know, those fuckers have spurs on their feet and they’re venomous. so if they kick you, you’re gonna be in unimaginable pain, for like, weeks, and it will most likely affect you for the rest of your life. there’s no antivenom and it’s immune to painkillers. like even morphine won’t work on it. the only treatment is a regional nerve block. but unfortunately, in my dream, i did not know about that, and thought there was no way to treat the pain at ALL. so you understand why i’m terrified of them

so anyway theres like 3 other kids (one of them from my dorm) both running from the platypus and trying not to get caught in an AVALANCHE. there is also for some reason a freezing cold lake. and i’m like “yeah i’m not going anywhere near there” but the thing is that’s my only way back, the other way is a fuckign cliff. so im like staring at them, and then after like 5 minutes of watching them struggle i remember to say, “DONT LET IT KICK YOU!!! IT’S GOT VENOM!!!” but it was too late. this girl got kicked and i watched the horror dawn on her face and then she started screaming. it was genuinely horrible.

so i felt really guilty for not saying something earlier and i couldn’t listen to her screaming anymore, and i slid down the cliff. i fell into freezing water and nearly died but i got out. and then i ran all the way back to my dorm scared the platypus would follow me and when i got there, for some reason our dorm had an entrance slide, so i went down the slide, half of it was in total darkness so it was scary but i braved it, but then, at the bottom, there was no opening. it was closed. i panicked because i didn’t think i could climb back up, and i started kicking at the plastic. i fucked up my feet but eventually i cracked it, and then i used my arms to further tear it apart. there was wire holding it shut and i ripped up my arms too but i could see light. so i opened it enough to shimmy my way out and into the dorm safely.

and then i found my RA and told her about the slide being covered and then i told her about the girl who got kicked by the platypus, and i felt bad bc i didn’t wish it was me i was glad it was someone else, but i felt like a terrible person for it, because she shouldn’t have to go through that, and i kept hearing her screams, and it was terrible, and i told the RA that, and i felt so bad for her, but i was still glad it wasn’t me, and i woke up crying and babbling about it still. which is weird because i normally don’t wake up crying, i have dreams of being tortured or i have memory-dreams of past abuse and shit and i don’t cry in my sleep, but . it was the fuckign platypus that did it. wtf

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Nightmares (Part 1)

No permissions to repost anywhere online or print or reuse in any fassion. Reblogs are appreciated.

Warnings: nightmare blood gore other people afraid of self harm missunderstandings steve being an idiot and doing too many missions in a row.

It happened all at one

Bed dipped I woke and saw a I woke up darkness. All the lights were off the windowshade was closed....darkness.

"Stevie?"

"Shhhh" i felt an arm sneak around my waist pull me to him. It made me smile his warmness his... his something was off

"Stevie?"

I turned

"shhh"

Darkness. But this time it was from a mask.   he put his hand over his  lips would be and air my throat caught but I was able to scream and I screamed i shot up in bed.

The same freaking dream. Again.

God I couldnt wait until Steve was back from his mission. Then I heard the door creak open.

Oh god i can't be one of those dreams within a dream can it?

I sat up slowly

"Sweetheart?" He said tentatively. I could hear his bag slowly get place on the floor with a thunk followed by another thunk.  "Why are you awake?"

"Oh thank god."

"What?"

"Nightmares. Since you've been gone."

With two steps he was right next to me.

"About?"

"The winter soilder trying to kill me."

"Babe, I know that was scary for you. You never saw me like that before."

Understatement. Bruised and bloody and unconscious with no explination why until he woke up. But he wasn't waking. Well he didn't wake uo for a while rather.

"But you're safe here. I'm fine. Tony makes this place a fortress. We can move in  completely if you want. You won't just be here alone when I'm gone. Friday is here."

"Not helping Steve" say what you want. That thing is creepy at times. He knew I thought that.

"I'm sorry babe," he kissed my forehead and rubbed circled on my back.

He looked dirty.

"But I'm back now and I'm here."

He was here.

"Go shower you smell I'm sleepy. " I smirked.

He smiled and kissed my head again and then turned to the bathroom.

I layed down and closed my eyes. Feeling safe Steve is home. And safe.

I closed my eyes. Im not sure for how long but the man has to learn to dry his hair off better as dripping on my neck woke me up.

"Steeeve."

"Hey go back to sleep," he kissed me on his cheek even his kiss was wet. Ugh. And warm. Eww.

"Steve"

I turned and opened by eyes.

There was blood all over him like, like he was in an explosion or something a sword fight a gun fight. I couldn't do anything just pant in horror as I saw the crimson blood drip onto the cream colored sheets. He just sat there leaning up no shirt on.

"What's wrong babe?"

I couldnt see a wound no no wound but blood so much blood.

"Honey" he leaned over  to me moving his arm off his body and I saw a gaping hole in his side and I could see in. That's when I screamed. I had woken myself up and in one movement had pulled away from Steve and rollen onto the floor from the middle of a king sized bed. Covered in sweat shaking.  I breiefly remember  Steve being shook or looking shocked, maybe he reached for me I'd like to hope he did, before I ended up on the floor but then he was right next to me. As I sat there crying.

" What's wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?"

All I could do is just sob.

"Its ok you're ok. I'm here i wont let anyone touch you. You're  ok." He had pulled me into a tight hug. One of my hand was on the carpet. It had such a nice texture. Soft but billowy and I dont know....the feeling was nice... That calmed me down more than Steve.

When I calmed down he asked. "Nightmare was bad this time hu?"

"You were covered in, there was a hole," I reached to his side moving my hands over where i recal the injury to be. It was smooth. "There was so much...." my breathing was finally calming down.

I put my head back to lean the side of the bead.

"I can't  do this anymore. I really don't think I can do this anymore Steve."

He looked at me heartbroken like I was so low so pathetic so... like he felt bad or maybe I was....

"It's ok. Its ok it's ok im here. I'm right here. It'll be fine. I promise you it will be ok.." but to me it he had broken me, my resolve. My thoughts. This him running off not caring about getting hurt was too much for me but it wasnt just that it was I dont know but he was too much for me.

"I'm right here next to you. Ok. Right here. How about, how about I get you your valium hmm?" He kissed my forehead "what do you say? Could help this."

"I dont know Stevie."

"Let's just give it a try." He kissed my forehead then walked to the bathroom came back with a pill and grabbed my water bottle from my next to me, as it had toppled over as i fell out of bed and I took it. I didn't really want to but whatever.

"Just relax ok, relax. It's ok." He took me in his arms.

I dont know when or how I fell asleep. But I woke up to an empty bed but there was a note.

"Had a meeting for the mission. Ill be back later get rest- Steve"

For the mission? He just came back from a mission.  Is that what he meant. The immages from last night were still so fresh in my brain. The other "avengers were so tight It felt weird being around them. The agents saw me as Caps's girlfriend and a reason why they could be given desk duty or otherwise if they loooked at me wrong. Apparently his past girlfriends weren't nice. So It could be lonely here. With no one to talk to. I layed back down in bed. And I realized the sheets had been changed. He must have done it after I fell asleep on the floor. I know he tries but the nightmares are just too much. Last nights was overboard way, way overboard.

I looked at my phone it was 1pm. I dont know how I slept that long.

There was a text from

Sam: text me when you get up. I wanna talk to you. Steve said you've been having nightmares and last night said you dont think you could  do this anymore. Im worried.

Sam was always kind. Always had a joke a smile. But I think steve got it all wring.

Me: What no sam that wasnt what I -Steve took it all wrong i have nightmares when hes gone about I meant I dont know if I can do our relationship any longer. I love him a lot. Maybe its not actually love I care i do but. The nightmare last night steve was covered in love

Sam: covered in love?

Me: i mean blood. Sry typo. I meant blood I really did mean to type blood i dont know why i typed love. But he was covered in blood and it terrified me. I mean absolutely terrified me. I told Steve i dont know I can do this anymore. Our relationship not life. Me and Steve...I think we're done.

[romanticfistfightz]

i also had another dream wherebi was on tumblr and then fell asleep and woke up 3 hours later and late 4 my doctors appt still eith my phone in my hand. and my bf sent me a screenshot of one of my mutuals complaining that some band was gonna play in sth called. elementcon or sth and it w as bad cuz they were listening to the band in 2001 on a stolen cd and its now mainstream and its bad.

also another dream where i was on some kind of a market. and it was like idk. a lot of things and those little gocarts & bumping cars and there were a lot of like. tents. selling parts mostly steering wheels cuz apparently they were shit. and i was there with some friends idk who it was but there were bottles with gas and one of my friends opened it and it was green and had glitter and covered the entire tent and we got banned for life. and the friend was lkke thats fine theres another tent!!! but it was the same brand. so weres still banned. i dont even know why we wanted to go to the tents we didnt need anything. and then i had an awkward interaction at another tent xcuz i though theyre selling markiplier condensed milk but it was. a gift card for steam or sth.

[six40seven]

September 16th

I woke up outside and i dont know how i got there. I was somewhere far in the woods, so far that it didnt make sense for me to be able to go all the way out there without shoes on. I had my phone on me and its was empty of pictures. Which makes no sense, i can SEE the picture i posted, I posted and i responded to people and... You saw the picture? I… dont remember taking any of them. I dont remember anything from last night. Not even a dream. I dont remember,, who i was talking to. But i can see i was talking to someone, someone asked me if it was real. It IS real. But theres something wrong about everything.

I was so cold. My fingers were bone white and my feet were scrapped and scratched. It felt like it was snowing, i thought there would be snow but. The snow. The snow wasnt real. There’s was no snow last night. It was just cold. I walked back home. What else was i supposed to do? No cell service and nothing to do other then go back home. My feet are rubbed raw. I am sick. Niki was gone for work. Or she didnt come home last night… Its not raining anymore but the whole world has been at least 20 degrees colder then the last few days. It really weird. Everything feels wrong.

I went inside. I dont know what time. I dont remember checking the time on the stove. I should’ve. I should’ve checked the time. I wish i had the pictures. They have time stamps. Everything’s off. I’m kind of freaking out right now. even though im home, it doesnt feel safe to be home alone. But i dont want to have to explain to my sister why im not at school and why my feet are bleeding and why it looks like im about to have a nervous breakdown. She’s too busy.

So i got home. I got home and i locked all the doors. I had to. It felt weird to not lock all the doors. I dont want to stand in the living room with the trees, just out there. I love nature, i love the forest but today something feels so wrong. I thought i had stopped sleepwalking years ago. Why is it happening again? Im supposed to grow out of that type of thing. Its fine. Everything’s fine.

So now im sitting in my room. Ive decided to tell Niki i went home early. Today shes supposed to drive me home. But she cant if im not in town at all. I texted her at.. noon? Yeah. She said she would bring chicken soup. I’m going to tie myself to my bed tonight. After she goes to bed. I dont want to wake up like that again, alone, looking up at the storm gray sky with only my thin pajamas on. No memory of how i got there. I cant.. this was supposed to stop. I was supposed to be okay.

Im okay. Im okay im just. Im mad. Yk when something is supposed to be in the past comes back, it always fucks you up. Its fucking me up right now. I dont usually curse but i just. Im sick.

Im goign to read a book. If anyone knows anything. Please let me know..

[woosansang]

this is gonna be the most incoherrent thing ive ever written but i just . . need to get things out of my head

re my weird as fuck dream last night that woke me up at 7am on a saturday. dream (nightmare?) about coming out to my parents and my dad started wearing a trans pride flag tshirt that said trans rights. but???? i have NEVER felt like that applies to me. i can barely even consider myself nb even though that’s probably the most accurate way i view myself.

i cannot STAND being called a girl anymore. i liked it when my dad once misttook me for my sisters bf because we dress the same way sometimes and i had a cap on so my hair was covered. i liked it when someone drunkenly asked me at a club if i was born a boy or a girl because the couldnt tell (i guess based on the way i was dressed? my face looks feminine but i dress masculine idk). when the kids accidentally say yes sir to me at school and then apologise i tell them that’s fine, i dont care if they call me miss or sir. my best friend knows all of this and he tries to show his support by “jokingly”(?) calling me a boy when he talks to his dog (it’s not mean or condescending, idk how to explain, you just have to be there i guess).

i feel weird when people refer to me as “they” even though that’s what i’ve said i prefer, i’m also just used to hearing/reading “she”, but i dont really like that either. but i definitely do not want to use “he”. once again, i guess “they” is the best option but why the fuck does everything just feel so wrong when people use pronouns to refer to me. can’t i just be jazzy. can’t you just call me by name

i said to my sister the other day that i think yeosang is the most attractive ateez member but that i am most attracted TO wooyoung. and yet. when i see wooyoung in his casual cothes, his trackies and hoodies and caps and beanies and oversized tshirts, i think he’s hot, yeah, but mostly i just think “wow i wish i looked like that”. i’m also attraced to ryujin but i dont want to look like her. i dont know what relevence that has to anything, im just thinking out loud.

im so fucking confused

this has been an ongoing war ive had in my head for like two or three years now

in like 2016/17/18 i spent hundreds of dollars on these gorgeous dresses and brand name makeup that i used to wear to uni events and while i still enjoy doing makeup on my sister whenever she goes out somewhere fancy, i dont ever wear most of it myself. but i love lipstick. i fucking love bold lipstick - red, purple, organe, pink, blue, green, wow, WOW i love wearing lipstick.

i always feel the need to express how much i dislike the colour pink. i’ve been like that my whole life. except i dont actually dislike it anymore. it’s a nice colour. not one of my favourites by a long shot, but compared to how much i hated it when i was a kid, i dont anymore. but i still pretend(?) to?????? i dont get it

i dont want to be viewed as male. i want to be viewed as female. but not a woman. i dont like pronouns. im just a person. i am just a person. 

anon came for my throat the other day when i said atiny selca day makes me feel uncomfortable and seeing atinys selfies makes me feel sick. it was never about seeing peoples selfies. i actually love seeing when my beloved tumblr mutuals post pictures of themselves. almost all are “she/her”. i love seeing them, gorgeous and feminine and happy with how they look in that picture and wanting to share it with friends online. i LOVE it. and then i go to twt and see random strangers posting gorgeous feminine pictures and i want to die. cant i be an atiny and not look like that? i dont want to look like that. i dont want people to assume i look like that, that i feel like that. i dont want people to group me with all these girls just because i like a boy group.

i dont even want to get started on how being bi confuses me in relation to all this as well. the idea of dating someone right now who is a girl or is a boy just. no. i dont know. it’s got nothing to do with it but also i feel like it has everything to do with it. i dont know

i dont

fucking

know

ugh

[random-fandom-900]

FOREVER

✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸✨️🌸

So this is my first fan fic and i had to write it out after seeing a prompt XP If you dont like it fine, but please dont be a dick (>-<)

Slight angst if you squint through a rock, but mostly fluff!! ENJOY

It was a warm night in Hawkins. The fan in the window of his room blew steadily, and Eddie was thankful for it. The loud hum of the fan drowns out the whimpers he tries to choke down; a cool breeze dries the tear staining his face.

He is sitting against the wall, looking down at the most enchanting creature on the planet. It's stupid really, it's trivial, its completely theoretical, and honestly its UBSURD. I mean it's a dream for Christ's sake. He KNOWS that. But still; looking at her sleeping form, watching the way her back rose and fell with each soft breath, how could he not wonder? Wonder why? Why was she with him? He knew he was weird, he knew he was an outcast. So why did she choose to be with him? Why not someone better? The questions pull the sob from his throat. Though stifled, the sound stirs the goddess lying next to him. As she pushes herself up onto her forearms, Eddie was desperately trying to wipe up his face. "Ah, sorry Love. I didn't mean to wake you." From the corner of his eye, he saw Xerina turn her head and look up at him. "Eddie?" She calls out softly. "What time is it?" She yawns as she stretches to just to turn on the light and sit up. When she looks at him in the light, her sleepy eyes widened. "Are you alright baby?" The concern was written all over her beautiful features.

He reaches out to cup her cheek. Forcing a small smile onto his face and shaking his head snuffin love you should go back to bed. " 's nothing Love, you should go back to sleep." Eddie hopes she will listen, but he knows she won't. "Eddie." Her tone is still soft, but firmer than before. Not so much a question, as it was a gentle prod. He knows she won't let it go when he glances at her, only to see that she is watching him intently. "Really Zee, its dumb. You dont need to worry..." He trails off when he realizes her gaze isn't changing.

He sighs "I… I had a dream… a bad one…" he trails off again. Zee leans over and lays her head on his chest. "Will you tell me about it?" She asked gently as Eddie rests his arm around her back. He was certain in this position she could hear his racing heartbeat. Letting out a shaky breath, he said slowly, "I dreamt that you left me for someone better… I was running after you… but you but I couldn't get to you. And when I yelled for you, you just kept walking away with someone else..." Zee had put a hand on his chest and looked up at him in a way that Eddie could only describe as mixture of confusion and worry. The tears began to swell in his eyes, threatening to fall once again. "Before I knew it I was falling into nothing and when I woke up you were right there next to me, but I started thinking what if..?"

His voice began to crack, he felt like his throat had just caught fire and swollen shut. Hot tears fall from his eyes and Zee moves quickly to straddle Eddie's lap and pull him into a tight hug. She tangles her fingers and his hair and pulls him closer to her chest. He wraps his own arms around her waist, trying to pull her even closer, squeezing his eyes shut. Trying so hard not to let more tears fall. But saying this dream out loud, it's suddenly all too much and he starts crying softly into her chest.

When she pulls away, his hands fall to her hips as she cups his face in her hands and looks deep into his eyes. She brushes her thumbs over his cheeks, wipping the tears away. "You listen to me Edward Munson. You are the only man for me", she has a stern look on her face, leaning in as she speaks. "I have never met a funnier…" She places a soft kiss to his right cheek, "kinder…" and another kiss to his left cheek, "sweeter man in all my life." She places a final, firmer kiss to his lips and she lingers there for a few moments. Eddie's breathing calms, and his thumbs are mindlessly tracing circles on her hips. When Zee pulls back, she's still holding his face. "You are so charming and considerate, Eddie. You are so perfect for me, that I don't even want dream of a life without you."

Eddie's heart is soaring at the reassurance. "I could never leave you", she says nuzzling her nose against his. Eddie pulls her back into a hug. He's memorizing everything about her, her scent, the way she feels against him, the sounds of her heartbeat.. He surrounding himself with Her, chasing away the fleeting feelings of a bad dream. He's memorizing it all. Because he doesn't want to forget this moment. It's pure joy, pure bliss, this love pouring into his soul. "I love you…", he mumbles into her chest. Feeling her press her lips to the top of his head she mumbles back into his hair, "I love you too Eddie."

They sit there like that for a few moments before they lay down with Zee still on top of Eddie. He reaches over and shuts off the light, bringung his hand right back to rest on her thigh. With his other hand he's trailing his fingers up and down her back. Eddie doesn't know when he fell asleep, but when dawn breaks with the early morning and his wonderdul girlfriend is still sleeping with her head on his chest and her legs tangled in his own. He takes in a deep breath and the smell of Xerina's shampoo fills his nose. Eddie smiles widely and lets out a sigh of content. In this moment, he's certain hes found his forever. And he truly will be damned to hell if he ever let it go.

[smileymoth]

.

No i hate actually how much my dad has shaped me into a person and how i interact with things. I hate that i'm just like him sometimes and i express my feelings in the exact same dysfunctional way sometimes. That i lash out in anger sometimes. That i hate when people do things the "wrong" way. I hate that i had to fear him every weekend when he came home because what if the rooms werent clean enough and he would yell or be mad. I hate that i had to walk around eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood so he wouldnt yell at me, and i hate it more that it still fucks me up to the point that i run away when someone is upset bc im afraid of them. I hate that i would have such horrid anxiety abt him coming home on the weekends or staying at home for longer that i wished he hadn't come in the first place. I hated so much how he would twist my moms words, and read through all her messages and browse through all her history and shit on her and me for how long we both spent on the computer so i learned to delete history to get away with more computer time. I hate how one time he slapped me so hard on the thigh that it left a bruise but he denied it later so i have no fucking clue if it actually happened because hes never been physical w me and my mom but i remember it so vividly. It was 1 time and never again and in 3rd(?) Grade and i still remember it every now and then. I dont like it that i hated being at home because 80% of the time they were fucking arguing with my mom in the kitchen over something HE made up because HE was jealous of my mom or didnt like sth that my mom did bc HE didnt like it. He caused her so much grief and she had to put up with it and i followed suit because i wanted him to like me so i was nasty to my mom to please him. I had to listen to him rant abt mom and just nod along because i didnt know what to say. And then he started getting better and he wasnt so argumentative anymore so me and my mom were like omg hes changing. And then he fucking died. And i had to watch him die at the hospital while repeating to myself he will be fine becwuse hes a big strong man who has never been sick so he MUST survive, all while doing homework for logo class. And i woke up on tje morning of the 28th dec at 5am with the thought that my dad is probably dead. I brushed it off like haha im just anxious and went to sleep again. He died at 4am. I knew, i felt it.

And now i miss him so often because he was just misguided and didnt know how to deal with his emotions properly. But he still hurt me so bad and my mom even more from what shes told me. And i dont hate him at all even though i would be so scared of him id be nauseous and id cry before he came home bc i was so scared he woild be mad at me. i love him so much but i see him in my dreams so often and hes always so mean and rude in them and it sucks because i miss his hugs and i want him to hug me again and make jokes with me till im crying and i want to wake up on a saturday and go to tje kitchen to see him watching a russian youtube video about construction or "тор 10 момент" compilations while he eats his megapacked mayo grill sandwich and then he turns the water to boil so i could have tea. I want my dad to calm me down again because he was the only person who could do it at times. I want to be like hey dad im struggling with schoolwork can i just sit next to you and brainstorm out loud until i come up with something and yiu can help me think. Hey dad look im knitting a sock hahah yeah i know im crazy for that haha yeah. I miss him but i dont miss tjat he was so awful all tje time. Why couldnt he just be normal why did he have to be a controlling little freak who wanted everyone to do just as he wanted it to happen. And now wjenever sth happens i always find a way to connect it to my dad without wanting to. I hate it. I dont want to think of him as much because all my thoughts about him are so confusing and complex because of the person he was and it makes me feel worse and more confused and yet also nothing. Im happy my dad is dead because my mom is in a much happier relationship right now and i no longer fear coming home because What If hes in a Bad Mood and therfor walking too loud will make him yell. And then he will claim he didnt. While he clearly did

[little-yla]

: : the right person ☆

————————————————————————

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing exc for a bit of cursing

word count: 963

a/n: my first time writing so please dont judge😭😭💔 if u liked this story, feel free to request more!! 🫂🫂 ( jeonghan is such a green flag )

this is part 1, part 2 is coming soon

You were paired up with Jeonghan for a math project, you didn't know much about him except for the fact that he was popular amongst the girls in school. He showed absolutely no interest in the girls, they thought he was into men because of that reason. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, you had no interest in him. You never saw what he had, you thought he was just a regular boy. Not until you were paired up together. That feeling ended quickly as soon as you interacted with him more. You finally understood everyone, but you had to clear your mind.

"Y/n, pair up with Jeonghan." your teacher says. You gasp as you saw your classmates glancing at you, they looked like they were about to chase you like a dog. You slowly walk to his table to have a chat about the project, being scared because of all the stares but you then get to his table. "You scared, huh?" Jeonghan asked, he could tell by your awkward face. You answered, "Well, you could say that, I guess." while giggling a little. He laughed at you, but he understood why. He gave you his number to ask for help, even for things other than the project.

You both discuss the project, and you catch yourself smiling the whole time while chatting with him. Were you developing feelings for him? But then the bell rings, it is time for you to go home. As soon as you got home, you had the urge to text him, but you noticed that he had texted you first.

jeonghan: hey, do u wanna meet up at the cafe near the town's library tmr?? so we can work and have little chats, it was fun

y/n: oh yeah suree, what time?

jeonghan: does 2pm sound good 2 u?

y/n: yep

jeonghan: alright c u tmr <33

Did he just give you a heart? Your heart was pounding so fast texting him, you figured it was because he was the first ever boy from school you texted. Well, you were wrong about that.

The next day, you woke up at 11:24 am. Your alarm was ringing so loud, but you quickly woke up as you remembered about the important meet-up. You greeted your cat, Toro, and got some milk from the fridge. You had some breakfast and took a shower, thinking about him every single second. Opening the closet was a bad choice, you did not think about what outfit you would wear, and you panicked so hard. It was 12:48 pm, you had 1 hour and 12 more minutes left, you couldn't possibly finish that fast. You chose to wear a cute dress with the cardigan your mom bought, and did your makeup a little faster than usual.

You drove to the cafe and saw him waiting for you, he waved as you saw him. "When did you arrive?" you asked, he had arrived at 1:30 pm. You apologized for being a little late. He replied, "It's fine, I wouldn't mind waiting longer for you." He surely was a sweetheart, a literal woman's dream. After discussing the project and finishing it, you guys decided to spend more time together. Were you really hanging out with the most popular boy?

You went to play games with him and found out he also played Valorant. He was happy he could find someone with the same interests as him. You found out he liked Bossa Nova and never dated once. "If you never dated anyone, then why don't you try dating someone that likes you?" you asked. He replied, "Well I'm waiting to find the right person for me, someone that likes me for me, not my looks." That got you interested in him, you wanted to find out more about him. After a long time of hanging out, you both went home.

jeonghan: heyy, i had fun w u today :)) lets hang out more

y/n: I AGREEEE, we should also vc and play valorant if u can

jeonghan: agreed, wanna hang out after school next week?

y/n: tuesday?

jeonghan: tuesday.

Wow, was he trying to test you? You had bad experiences with boys before meeting him, and you were hoping he wasn't like them. All I can say is that, I like him. You caught feelings for him, shocking. You had the urge to text him and call him. It felt too risky, you didn't want to seem obsessed. And again, he likes someone who likes him for him, not someone who craves looks.

A notification pops up, who is it from?

jeonghan: hey, wanna vc?? sorry if im asking u so late at night :(

y/n: nahh nw, lets call?

jeonghan: YAY

Your ringtone starts playing, seeing his name on the phone made your heart beat 10 times faster. Why was it easier to talk to him in real life? I can't even talk to him over the phone. You picked up the phone and heard his deep voice. "Sorry about my voice, I'm really tired right now." Jeonghan claimed. You replied, "Then why did you want to call me? You should go rest." He didn't want to rest, he wanted to call you and hear your voice.

You spent a few hours talking to eachother and playing games, hearing him curse for the first time. "Ohh, we're fucked. WAIT, I'M SORRY," Jeonghan panics, "You didn't hear that." You didn't mind, you revealed that you also cursed a lot. He was relieved, I'm guessing he has a curse buddy. Afterwards, you both decided to stop video calling and texted eachother instead.

jeonghan: thank u for today☹️☹️ i enjoyed it a lot

y/n: heyy dont worry ab it, u made today fun 😆☝

jeonghan: lets do this more, i dont need to stop my cursing for once

y/n: YKW ME TOO, everyone around me js hates the idea of cursing

jeonghan: well i get why, anyway see uuuu tmrr. sleep well and goodnight

y/n: gooodd night <33