#dont even worry - i told you i love doing these!

[paiges-1vur]

welcome to the party pt. 1

——————-

paige bueckers x oc!

cw: language, alcohol (no smut yet 😉)

a/n: hi guys this is my first time writing a fic so im totally open to any constructive criticism or tips for writing! let me know if you like this ;)

wc: 3545

————————————-

Friday 9:00 pm

I looked at myself in the mirror, my jaw dropping immediate as I turned to my proud best friend. My roommate Riley looked down at me.

“What do you think!” she asked smiling ear to ear.

Despite being somewhat of a girly girl, I never had a good sense of style. (thats where Riley comes in). Tonight when I heard we were going out to the bars I decided to let her get me ready. Turning back to the mirror I saw my long golden brown hair straightened reaching almost past my butt. My hair has always been one of my favorite things about me. She had also done my makeup, and had gone for a soft glam which suited me well. i never looked good with lots of makeup on. If anything i feel more confident without any at all.

“Do you the think the skirt is too much?” Riley says, snapping me back into reality. I scan my outfit. Im wearing the infamous “is this too much for a little bar in jersey..” top and i laugh to myself. Riley paired it with a jean mini skirt. Emphasis on mini.

“I like it” I smile up at her. Despite my smile sees right through me.

“But what” she asks, anticipating my reply.

“Don’t you you think i look like a..” I trail off, “a whore?” Don’t get me wrong i loved the outfit, but being blessed as a C cup and having a good ass on me made me worried about what people would think if they saw me in this outfit. I loved playing volleyball at Uconn, and being one of the shortest players to go D1 at 5”1. It was one of my biggest accomplishments.

Im not one to brag but I do have a pretty good body. I have a toned stomach from hours of being im the gym, and a good ass from weight training with my teammates. I just didnt want anybody to get the wrong idea about me based off of my outfit.

“Ana, dont worry about it. If anyone has something to say about the way you look tonight, then they can talk to me first.” Riley reassured me. Her confidence is something i only wish i could have. I took a deep breath and gave her a hug.

“Thans ry. By the way i love this outfit. 10/10, chefs kiss.” I do a little spin for her showing a full 360 of the outfit.

Riley hypes me up before grabbing my hand and taking me into the kitchen of our small apartment. Its not much, but its nice to live off campus. I watch her grab the fireball from the kitchen counter as she flashes me a smile.

as shes pouring me a shot i secretly pray to not get alcohol poisoning tonight. Tonight was one of the biggest going out days at Uconn, especially because the woman’s basketball team had just won the big east tournament. I wonder if the team would be out at teds tonight.

“Ready?” I get pulled out of my delusion to see Riley handing me the shot. I throw it back and immediately feel the burning in my throat reaching for a caprisun as a chaser.

“Shit its 9:30 already and we cant miss the pre game come on!” Riley grabs me by the hand and rushes us out the door.

____________

“Who’s dorm are we going to again?” I ask basically screaming over the Drake blasting in Rileys car.

“Remember that girl Azzi I had cognitive science with?” She looks at me. “Her and some of her friends are going to Teds tonight too and invited us to pregame with them.”

I feel anxiety wash over me. “But Riley she doesn’t even know me! And you know how i get… I’m not good at socializing or meeting new people.”

“Don’t worry she told me i could bring a friend, and shes exited to meet you and introduce you to her friends. I promise it’ll be fun, they are all nice girls.”

We park next to her building, getting out of the car to walk up to her dorm together.

I fix my hair and bit my lip anxiously waiting for Azzi to answer the door. What am i getting myself into?

__________

[player1064]

gary goes into business instead of broadcasting post-retirement. carra still goes into puditry. they don't know each other/end up as friends.

they both end up on the same season of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and fall in love. this is highly apparent to the entire audience.

I've not done a request fic in like two months bc I've been so zoomed in on the beville fic but I wanted to write something quick and silly and yes this request has been sitting in my inbox for more than THREE months but dont worry i did not forget about it I haven't forgotten about ANY of u.

and this really is quick and silly it is Mostly dialogue bc idk how else to convey the Vibes of im a celebrity but I had soooooo much fun with this dkjfgdfjsgkk...

---

 “I’m Gary Neville, I’m a businessman but I’m probably best known for my football career, playing 602 games for Manchester United and earning 85 caps for England.”

“What am I doing in the jungle? Mid-life crisis, I suppose.”

“I’m no stranger to public humiliation – just look at my coachin’ career! My only worry is the food – I do love a dairy milk, to be fair.”

*

“I’m Jamie Carragher, and I’m best known as a football pundit with Sky – am I allowed to say other broadcaster’s names on here? – and for winning the Champions’ league with Liverpool.”

“I’ve always said the jungle is the only reality show I’d consider doin’, so I guess it’s time to put me money where me mouth is.”

“Scared? Eh, no, I don’t think there’s many challenges I wouldn’t do. You don’t get to where I’ve got without that drive to win.”

*

Jamie walks into camp, takes one look at the group of people stood in front of him, and almost considers walking straight back out. Would that work, saying the catch-phrase outside of one of the challenges? ‘I’m a celebrity, get me away from Gary fucking Neville?’

“Jesus Christ,” Gary mutters. “Don’t you ‘ave some children to spit at or somethin’?”

“Don’t you ‘ave a football team to coach – oh no, sorry, they both fired you.”

“How the fuck are they lettin’ you take three weeks off in the middle of season? What’re people gonna do when they want to listen to two hours of Scouse gibberish?”

The rest of the campers watch on, no longer even attempting to come and introduce themselves to Jamie.

“And how’s your club gonna manage without yous, eh? What if they need someone to fire another manager?”

*

“Yeah, I uh… is it mean to say I hope one of them gets voted off soon? Don’t get me wrong, they’re both perfectly nice guys, but…”

[yelling heard from outside the hut]

“…Yeah.”

*

The first pairs challenge, shockingly, goes off without a hitch.

This is not a surprise because the challenge was particularly difficult – it’s early days, they’re still easing everyone in – but because of who the public had voted to complete it. Because the public is the public, and they’re nothing if not predictable.

“All twelve stars! I’m pretty pleased w’that, you know.”

“Typical fucking Neville, taking the credit for his partner’s hard work.”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recall you crawling about in the mud to get the –”

“—I was the one doin’ all the heavy lifting!”

“Of course you were doin’ the heavy lifting, look at the fuckin’ size of you!”

“Ugh.”

Jamie storms off camera and back into camp, leaving behind a bewildered looking Gary.

“He’s a bit of a diva, in’t he?”

*

“The first few days? Erm, it’s been goin’ alright, I think. I’ve been told I’m not always the easiest person to get on with, so it’s a pleasant relief that the others seem to – I mean, obviously not all of the others, but – but he’s –”

*

“Oh, I’m loving camp. Missing the gym a bit –” for emphasis, Jamie slaps his bicep – “but the food’s not as bad as I were expectin’, and the banter is sound – we’re all great friends already –”

“—well, no, but you can’t count him. He’s so weird, ‘ave you seen him? Like a little robot, doin’ everything exactly the same every day.”

*

“Another pairs challenge…”

“I don’t get why people keep voting for us to do these trials. You’re useless at ‘em anyway, do they want to see us starve?”

“Maybe I’d be able to get more done if you didn’t always insist on bossing me around, James. Can barely hear myself think over that Scouse screech of yours, it’s a wonder me eardrums haven’t burst yet.”

“It’s a wonder nobody’s killed themselves in the boredom of having to listen to you drone on and on all day. Did I actually hear you talkin’ about the stock market the other day?”

“The stock exchange, oh my god. It’s my hotel, which you’d know if you took part in any conversation that’s not about you.”

*

“I can’t believe they let you have that.”

Jamie looks with pride down at the football he’d chosen as his luxury item, then drops it and kicks it towards Gary’s head. It’s wide by about a metre.

“Oi! If you were a half decent footballer that could’ve actually hurt me, you twat.”

“’least mine can benefit everyone in camp, what even is yours?”

“Fidget toy, innit. My niece got me into them, gives me something to do with my hands.”

“You’re a strange little man, you know that right?”

Gary, who’s still positioned closest to the football, picks it up and lobs it into the trees surrounding camp.

*

“Come have a kickabout with me?”

Gary looks around but there’s nobody else sat nearby. “Me?”

“No, Cristiano Ronaldo. Of course you, who else would I be askin’?”

“Literally anyone else here?”

“It’s not as fun when you’re better than everyone else –”

“—ah, so you admit I’m a better footballer than you!”

“That’s not what I said!”

*

“What are you actually doin’ in here? ‘cause no offence, Gary, but you don’t really seem the reality show type.”

“Dunno. Was having a rough week when the email came through, thought it might be nice to get away from everythin’ for a bit.”

“’and you, Jameh?’” Jamie says in a squeaky parody of a Manc accent. “Oh, thanks fer askin’, Gaz. I was worried I was goin’ soft, now that I’ve been retired for so long. Wanted to prove to myself I can still be a winner.”

“Still? When were you ever a winner before?”

“I’ve won a Champions’ League, I’ll have you know!”

“I’ve won two!”

“Have you fuck.”

*

“Who’s your letter from, then? Missus?”

“No, my brother,” Gary says absently, then he looks up from his letter with a frown. “I don’t have a missus, what’re you on about?”

“Don’t you? I could’ve sworn, in Baden Baden with the WAGs –”

“You’re basing your knowledge of my relationship status on a tournament we played in more than fifteen years ago?”

“You realise you’re literally wearing a wedding ring.”

“And you’re not. Any other observations you’d like to make? Sky is blue, maybe?”

“Normally people wear wedding rings to show they’re married.”

“Maybe some people wear them to avoid annoying questions. Anyway, Philip says that I’m coming across very well so far and that ITV has received hundreds of complaints from people who can’t understand your accent.”

“He did not fucking write that, give it here –”

*

“Am I getting along better with Jamie? I dunno, I never had a problem with him to be fair, it’s him that’s always –”

*

“Friends? With Gary? Behave. Have we managed to go a single day so far without him shoutin’ at me for somethin’ I did, or somethin’ I didn’t do right, or for – for breathing in the wrong direction. Christ, I’ve never met anyone this fussy. He’s too easy to wind up.”

*

“He must be doin’ it on purpose, surely nobody is that thick – I mean, is it so hard to stack a couple of dishes when you’ve finished washing them?”

“Well, no, yeah, he did stack them, but did you see – they were all out of order, there’s no stability – they’re certain to all fall and break in the night thanks to him.”

*

All the effort that goes into the Dingo Dollars task and all the camp has to show for it is a single square of chocolate each. Gary nibbles carefully at his, trying to preserve it for as long as possible.

Jamie gets up and goes to sit beside him.

“Here.”

“Wha?”

“Here, I don’t like sweets.”

“You don’t – what kind of a psychopath don’t like sweets?”

“Will you just take the bloody chocolate before I change my mind.”

*

“You’re limping. Why are you limping?”

“Done my ankle in the last trial.”

“Trust you to get injured doin’ a trial. What’d you do, you slip or somethin’?”

“Why don’t you ask your mate, he’s the expert on slipping.”

“Ha ha. But really, Gary – you alright?”

“I’m fine, Carra, ‘s not even strained. Just a bit achy. Twenty years as a professional athlete will do that to you.”

“Give it here.”

“You what?”

“Give it here, I do an okay massage. Maybe that’ll stop yer whining.”

“I literally didn’t say a word until you brought it up.”

*

“I don’t know, he’s – ugh, he’s…”

“He’s not what I expected. I dunno. He’s just not what I expected.”

*

“D’you know how many times me and Gary played a full ninety together with England? One. We only ever played one full match on the same side, and it was shite.”

“It always felt like there was only room for one of us, so I just – I fucking hated him. ‘cause it wasn’t me the managers were picking, was it?”

*

“Carra?” Gary whispers

“What.”

“Carra, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“Jamie.”

Jamie reluctantly sits up in his camp bed, squints at Gary in the dark. “What.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that.”

“I want to go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Good for you.” Jamie lies back down and pulls his sleeping bag over his face.

“Jamie.”

“I swear to God, Gaz…”

“Yer not gonna make me go out there alone, are ya? It’s the middle of the night.”

“What are you, twelve? Fine, just give me a minute to find my shoes.”

*

“It’s very dark, isn’t it?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

They hadn’t ended up walking very far, just to the log benches in the next clearing over before agreeing the risk of tripping over tree roots was too high and sitting down to just talk instead.

“My internal clock’s all thrown off, we’ve been here nearly two weeks and I still can’t get the hang of it. At home to be fair I’m normally in bed by ten, half ten.”

“I remember, from England. You and Phil were such geeks, weren’t you?”

“Most capped brothers in England, thank you very much.”

“D’you miss him?”

“Nah. Don’t get to see ‘im much anyway, to be fair. He’s off in America, Trace is out here, they’re both just – getting on with it, aren’t they? I prob’ly miss my house more’n anything else.”

“Your house… not your friends? Not football?”

“I like my house! It’s got everythin’ just the way I like it.”

“Alright, alright. Fine, you can miss your house.”

“Wha’d’you miss? Your kids? The missus?”

“I dunno really… kids are both all grown up now, missus went back to being a ms a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is. Anyway, I miss football even if you don’t, honest to God, what kind of a footballer are ya? I wish someone would slip me this week’s standings, feel like I’m going insane tryin’ to imagine all the results.”

“Should’ve said something sooner, twat. I can tell you how the league’s going.”

“You can?”

“Yes. Manchester United are on a – how many games’ve we missed now? – they’re on a three game winning streak and have shot to the top of the league.”

“Oh yeah? What about Liverpool?”

Gary tuts and shakes his head. “Relegation zone, I’m afraid.”

“We were top of the table when I came in ‘ere!”

“Well, you know what they say – anything can happen in football, can’t it?”

“You’re right, what’s that… I’m getting reports from Old Trafford that Salah’s just scored a hat-trick, Stretford end as well –”

“You twat! As if your Liverpool could win away against United, you’re dreaming!”

*

“Erm, yeah… it’s good to be going home, ‘course it is. Glad I wasn’t the first voted out, hah, I actually think I’ve done alright in ‘ere.”

“Yeah, no, it’s been a brilliant experience to be fair. I never thought I’d make such good friends – yeah, even him. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Anyway, I’m wishin’ them all the very best of luck in the semi-finals.”

 *

“I mean, I know fourth place isn’t bad, but I do think I deserved to get to the finals. I’ve worked harder than anyone else here, so –”

“Well yeah, ‘course, it’s up to the public, so – if it’s my time then it’s my time.”

“What’ll I be doin’ when I get to the hotel? Dunno. Check my messages first, probably!”

“What, Gary? I saw ‘im yesterday, it’s not like I’m missin’ him already! Might get ‘im to buy me a pint, though, least he could do after I had to put up with him for three weeks.”

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

[whumpitisthen]

Hello i dont know who needs to hear this but do not post content for notes. This goes for anything, but especially OC content. I see so many people being like "oh tumblr doesn't really like my oc so i guess i shouldn't really post about them... :(" YES THE FUCK YOU SHOULD??? It's made to make y o u happy not randos on the internet! And if the only reason you post anything at all is for notes then while it's your choice and you can do whatever you want, i would advise you to rethink why you even post anything, especially on tumblr of all places, where likes mean nothing more than how many people saw it, and reblogs are a blessing from heaven and happen about 2 times out of 100?? if your creative joy comes solely from the attention of strangers, that isn't the healthiest mindset, and this is the worst possible social media outlet to practice it on. You should create because you want to create, and if low numbers stop you from doing so, take a brake from whatever you need, be it posting, looking at numbers or straight up looking at social media all together.

Anyway, whether you write, draw, animate, edit, compose, whatever, for either a fandom or original content: post for yourself first and foremost, and never, NEVER EVER let notes decide if you want to create more or not. I promise you, you are making some people kind of sad when you say things like "well you didn't give me enough attention so im not gonna post that thing you liked so much anymore." Im sure you dont even realize, but that is basically what it sounds like to the people who did in fact give attention to your unpopular posts.

Im sorry if this sounds mean or like im targeting people who have to beg for a single reblog from the hundreds of people liking their posts, I don't mean it like that at all, its just something ive been seeing a lot more of recently for some odd reason and that i am so physically against that i could tear down a whole building with my bare hands and rage whenever i see it.

[valpuduzz]

im so sorry to my mutuals i promise i dont wanna vent in here all the time because i know it can be extremely exhausting to be around such negativity and i do wanna make more funny posts but shit keeps happening and venting about it in the tags is sorta comforting in a way

[sanzuphobe]

part of me is sad that no one i know knows strangers from hell because i dont get to talk about it with anyone but the other part is really glad because if they did know it and heard me talk about it they would be very concerned for my mental health im sure

[mifunebooty]

Really funny this white dude in my speech class group i remember he kept making eye contact with me and i was like does he like me um and turns out he did that with everybody white people weird

[twinvictim]

1. How do I like a character whose entire life revolves around trying to save her brother no matter what she has to do because she loves him that much more than a character whose only personality is being really antagonistic and aggressively misogynisticly obsessed with a woman who at one point moved to a different part of the country partially to get away from him? Gee idk

2. I would like Akiyama more, like maybe Kazama and Sagawa tier If the games were more interested in pointing out that he's a horrible person. And he is. And maybe I'd like that he was a bad person more if I wasn't always being told he's a good person. It also just irks me that he's treated like he has real problems. Especially next to fucking Saejima and even Kiryu when he kinda just does a lot of this shit to himself and its easily fixable. He feels like a self insert anime protagonist in a way that annoys me. Sorry he's just not ad good a character as someone like Haruka or Daigo

3. It's my list

[bahoreal]

i keep "based on your likes" on out of like, morbid curiosity about tumblrs shitass algorithm (i think it goes, i [tumblr user J] like a post by tumblr user A. tumblr user A likes posts by tumblr user B, tumblr user C, tumblr user D. tumblr user J gets shown all of tumblr user As likes. i must have liked a post by someone who only likes posts about religion because i am getting a steady stream of almost harrowingly (derogatory) christian posts.

[tibialtybalt]

4, 10, 26 for art asks!

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

You wouldn't be able to tell since I draw them so much as of late but arval........their honeycomb. plate. tabard . Thing. I vacillate wildly between being obsessed with it and loathing it depending on if I'm drawing it or not. Also what is going on on the back of their head? Their hair is so cubey I don't understand... And if it's epi then you've got the wing things which took me ages to figure out how they're shaped for some reason

Their design looks chefs kiss MWAH in game or in finished pieces but oh my goodness please help my doodling, cutting-corners hand

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

I'm a huge fan of crinkly clothes, cloth that comes to oddly sharp angles. Like where big poofy sleeves that are cuffed come to an end. Or where pants crinkle, at the knees and ankles. These bad boys

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

Hmm that's a difficult question because the stuff I draw is 90% of the time so Very straightforward funny fan art...

Oh but one time someone reblogged a MDZS post of mine and said in the tags that they didn't go there but thought it was funny, and the post is. This one. And you need SO MUCH context to get what the joke is like wow that is an entirely different joke.

[good-beans]

Ok final one I promise 😅

Faye for the character ask? You know, since you always ask me about the RHB trio😂

Haha, of course! It's the blorbo-in-law swap...

-How I feel about this character: (Thanks to you,) I really love her!! We all know how dirty echoes did her, but I love all the ways you were about to highlight the good parts of her -- the kindness, quirkiness, and loyalty to those she loves. It's always so fun to have a character unendingly dedicated to the people she cares about!

-All the people I ship romantically with this character: I'm a sucker for her and Rinea the most -- two women who were blinded by love for a man, and when they were rejected finally found what was best for themselves (each other). They're both fairly quiet and shown to not get out much, so it's real sweet thinking of them giving each other courage and trying new things together! It's a really healing relationship, and I think it's so beautiful for both of them ;-; I also think her and Celica are really sweet, and has good drama with her mistaking her feelings for Celica as emotions towards Alm. Mmm, and Silque would be a lovely partner to add some calmness to her more eccentric behavior now and then <3

-My non-romantic OTP for this character: Lmao, I think it'd have to be Alm! Whether she's rejected or realizes she doesn't want him like she thought, I think they'd make really good friends after everything they've been through. They both have a solid respect and admiration for the others' strenghts. Also, I just think she'd make the perfect long-term friend of the king -- she strolls up to court to have tea and go for walks in the gardens and shit talk and laugh at all the inside jokes they had growing up.

-My unpopular opinion about this character: Well I think most people are in the same boat that her writing wasn't great, so I guess my unpopular opinion would be that I actually did enjoy her joining the war for Alm and Alm alone. Each character had a different reason (glory, competition, righteousness, knowledge, money), and Faye's is usually dismissed as shallow because of how she's written. But... that's exactly why I love Python so much: he joined the war for no other reason than to see Forsyth through it. As an isolated event, I think that it's valid and actually pretty beautiful that she joined in the name of love!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Speaking of Python, I think it would have been really fun to see her supports with some of the other Deliverance members! I think she could have gotten a lot of older sister advice from Mathilda and Clair, and Python could have gotten her into a bunch of trouble with him. She could gush about crushes to Clive, or get a calming chat about love from Lukas. I'm such a sucker for all the found family that's going on in the Deliverance, and she really could have used all those older siblings hyping her up!

[g8d]

i dreamt of my ex like a week ago and hes been on my mind ever since. i picked up so many mannerisms from him. it feels like part of him will always live in my body. i make faces he used to make. i have a look in my eyes like how he used to look at me.

[candylandsys]

love having really cruel persecutors

[skrunksthatwunk]

ranting for like an hour with my roommate about rascal's owner bc i do not understand her behavior (<- furious).

[beneaththegildedmoon]

*BIIIG fuckin rant hours btw (esp. in the tags) so I guess scroll on if you're not down for that. Might delete later but I need to vent*

So I identify as nonbinary and gender queer (though not really trans, doesn't ring true for me personally) and tbh I'm very sick of the Online Queers talking shit about enbies whose partners identify as straight or gay/lesbian rather than bi for "settling for someone who doesn't respect" us.

My partner loves me more than I ever thought humanly possible and respects me possibly even more than he loves me. He also happens to identify as a straight man. When we met, 6 years ago, I still identified fully as a cis woman, and he viewed me as such. About a year ago, I came out to myself and to him, and tbh he doesn't fully "get" all of it because he's literally never had to question anything about his identity in his life up till now, but he tries his best and has never once made me feel like he doesn't see me for the person I've come to realise I am. He is also, obviously, still attracted to me and still loves me just as much, despite our outwardly incompatible clusters of labels.

Maybe the relationship wouldn't have held up if I decided to present significantly more masc or had any inclination to physically transition, etc. but I really don't. Maybe if I'd come out much earlier in the relationship, we would have amicably gone our separate ways. Maybe not. We'll never know because after 5+ years into a serious relationship, you dont really see your partner through the lens of social constructs like gender. You just see them as your person. So there was never really a question for us of how my nonbinariness would or wouldn't affect things. It just didn't factor into it.

If we weren't already together, my partner would likely only approach women. He has only dated women in the past, and apparently never really thought about other options. I am the solitary exception to an extremely strong trend. I'm not insecure enough in my identity to demand he change his whole concept of his sexuality and identity to fit the specific edge case I represent into it. In much the same way that I wouldn't demand a lesbian suddenly identify as bi just because they were attracted to me. Other people's perceptions of my gender, and the interaction their stated sexuality has with that is their business. As long as my partner can reconcile the two in his own head, that's good enough for me.

Identity, and especially queer identities, are so much more nuanced and complicated than a single word can fully capture. It's unreasonable and frankly patronising to assume you know the intricacies of someone else's relationship dynamics based solely on those words. It's also condescending as fuck to tell me my partner doesn't respect my queerness just because he's straight when you don't actually know either of us and I'd thank y'all to butt the fuck out.

[monicahar]

“my wife.”

how they address you. why does it make your heart skip a beat each time?

characters; neuvillette, wriothesley

—female pronouns obvi, aaaa this is so random😭 fluff, tad bit of crack, has suggestive themes/dirty jokes cause that's my humor in general, just tryna get into writing again heehaa don't mind me ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

NEUVILETTE always accompanies the term with unmatched affection. it rolls off his tongue perfectly like a match made in heaven, coupled with the serene image of you instantaneously appearing in his mind before he even thinks of the uttering the endearing term. he still finds it surreal that you are both even lawfully married, yet the way he calls you his wife is already on instinct. is it too presumptuous of him?

well, in the end, he can't find any means to worry about it when you seem to equally adore the nickname.

“ooohh, say it again, say it again!”

he can't tell whether he married a child or not, but he still obliges your request and calls you his wife affectionately once more.

meanwhile, furina nearly gags everytime she hears him say it so softly—like using any other tone when referring to you would land him in the hands of the fortress of meropide. sure—she might've been the one who set up both of you—but the drama and thrill akin to watching a romance film has delightfully ended, and she can only meddle so much in marital matters. the iudex just might actually have her head in a platter if she were to do anything mischievous at that point.

but while a happy neuvillette is running around announcing 'my wife' this and 'my wife' that, you are currently stuck on what to call him in return, sadly enough.

“at this point, i think i'm just going to call you daddy.”

it was unfortunate with the way he choked on some of the water he was drinking—well, thank goodness he didn't spill much as before. for this wasn't the first time you said something unprompted while he was in peace with his water—he can only internally sigh.

“and what exactly has influenced you to arrive at such a conclusion, my wife?” he does not miss the tiny shudder of your body that followed the endearment. your face burns a tad bit at that, and he softly chuckles.

“your effect on me is no joke, you know?” you pout at his amused smile, “the way you refer to me so sweetly makes me want to call you my dearest husband everytime.”

“i don't recall voicing any complaints. is something else holding you back from doing so?”

you nod solemnly in agreement at that, which prompts him to raise a brow in mild curiousity.

“thing is, i really like calling you by your first name. same with monsieur neuvilette. there's something mildly erotic within it—you get what i mean, hehehe...” he only stares at you, clearly unimpressed, and a bit concerned at the implication. you clear your throat, apologizing under your breath.

“still—it's such a devastating predicament to be unable to choose between the three.” you sigh defeatedly, moving to slump your entire weight on his lap. you mutter, “my dearest husband monsieur neuvillette...mmm, no, that's too long.”

chuckling at your dramatic antics, he plants a soothing hand on your waist, the other fixing your wrinkled clothing as you practically melt against his hold. “and you thought settling on daddy was the appropriate option?”

“i'm not hearing any objections.” you jest, feeling cheeky.

“please refrain from calling me such a thing in the eyes of the public atleast.”

“...huh? you're actually allowing it??”

WRIOTHESLEY on the other hand, says it as if he's flaunting. it leaves his lips like a taunt each time, indirectly telling the other party 'i have a hot wife and you dont' even though most of the time the people he mentions you to don't even know what you actually look like. it's silly, childish even, but you still love it nonetheless.

sigewinne and the other inmates have collectively told you that ever since you got married, he has never uttered your actual name to anyone else. some find it weird, some find it somehow disrespectful, and some are now convinced he's crazily obsessed with you, and now he's showing it off every chance he gets, much to everyone's dismay.

it's arrived to the point where a small percentage of people have actually forgotten about your name, and now refer to you as the duke's wife, or even duchess, to which you made a face at. that's kind of pushing it by then.

anywho, in the end, it's funny and endearing, maybe even makes you a bit giddy, but there is no way you're telling him that. the situation might escalate even more if possible.

“you know, my wife is very mean to me today.”

as a pair of strong yet gentle arms wrap around your waist, you resist the growing smile on your face, deciding to mess with your husband for a bit.

“is that so?” you continue your chores without a care in the world. he huffs.

“mhm. she won't look me in the eye the whole day, even though she seemed sooo happy last night.” face instantly burning, you hiss as you slap his arm in a fit of embarrassment, pulling a hearty chuckle from the man behind you.

“—and now she's hitting me as well. i can't believe this.” you both know very well he was not fazed in the slightest bit.

“if her husband wasn't such a pervert then maybe—”

his facade cracks as he forces out an awkward laugh, “hey now, baby, you know i'm nothing like that.”

“wriothesley.”

he clears his throat awkwardly, “okay, maybe a little. it's exclusive for you though! my wife doesn't have to be so mean about it, you're making me reallyyy sad here, y'know?”

there it is again, you think. that nickname. that damned word that makes you want to turn around and smash your lips against his and—wait, hold yourself together! don't forget the reason you're being cold to him!

“you deserve to feel remorse. i've been struggling to even move the whole day because of you.”

you go rigid.

you didn't mean for that to come out so bitter...oh no.

“oh. so that's what this is about.” you don't even have to turn around to know that there's a smug look on his stupidly handsome face, his grip on your waist turning into soothing circles as he presses a kiss to your neck.

“if my wife wanted a massage, she could've just said so.” it's husky when it leaves his mouth, leaving you to shiver with the chills he enunciates.

flustered, you completely disregard the way your knees buckle at the endearment laced with that low voice of his, hitting his arm once more, earning a tiny 'ouch' from him.

“pervert. i want rest, not another round!”

“heh, i didn't say anything about another round, my perverted wife.”

“you—” you are abrupt cut off as you yelp in surprise when your feet are raised off the ground, your face now much closer to your husband's as he carries you gently in his arms.

“shhh, just let me take you to bed. if my wife was feeling terrible the whole day, she should've just told me in the first place so she could stay in, don't you think?”

he's right, but you're still angry. “shut up.”

“just letting you know i'm not completely at fault, wife.” you attempt to ignore the furious beating of your heart, face burning at his smug expression. “i'm not the only one who wanted it.”

hsr version...? if i feel like it...🤔🤔