#dont get me wrong i love when shes pathetic but the more i read the manga and the more we were revealed my first thought was

[microfeelings]

I finished reading Dungeon Meshi in a week...

[teamatsumu]

services. (fushiguro toji x reader)

summary: With how hectic your life is, you have no room for relationships. But you still have needs, and so you decide to pay to have those needs met.

word count: 4372

warnings: fem!reader, escort!toji, porn with minimal plot, smut, unprotected sex, oral (fem!receiving), fingering, daddy kink, choking, biting, this is so self indulgent pls dont judge me.

A million guesses in the world and you never would have predicted that you would be spending your Saturday night like this.

The only sound in your living room was the tick, tick, tick of the wall clock, as well as your occasional fidgeting. Your jeans rustled from where your leg was bouncing, an outlet for your nervous energy. You played with the sleeves of your sweater, rocking back and forth just slightly. You couldn’t decide what you wanted to blame this jittery feeling on, your anxiety or the cold. You wanted to go with the latter but you knew that what you were doing right now meant it had to be the former.

Who else would be waiting for a fucking escort to come to their house?

You looked at the clock again and rolled your eyes at your own antics. It was still ten more minutes before he was supposed to get here. Why were you already so clammy and shaky? This was pathetic. Well, getting an escort was pretty pathetic in itself, but this had to be a new low.

Honestly, you hadn’t expected yourself to be in this position. When a coworker had been venting about how your grueling profession and long working hours left no room for having a personal life, you had enthusiastically agreed. It was something you had been struggling with for years. It was the reason your last boyfriend had broken up with you, saying your job was way too time consuming and he felt ignored. He hadn’t been wrong. You were working more hours than anyone else you knew. And while you loved your job and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world, you knew it meant sacrificing relationships. Sacrificing love and intimacy and even the simple act of a physical touch.

At this point you were so touch starved it hurt.

Your coworker had then recommended this escort service, saying that it had literally saved her life. An over exaggeration on her part, you were sure, but when you had looked at their website and seen how systematic and professional everything was, you really were taken by surprise. The website was clean and organized, and it took everything into consideration. Hell, they even had you fill out a consent form that was almost six pages long, and it had every kink and sexual option known to mankind. The website claimed that the service had a sophisticated algorithm to make sure it matched every client with an escort best suited for their sexual needs, and it encouraged you to be completely honest when filling the form.

Your face had burned as you read through the form, but you thought long and hard about every option you ticked yes or no on. You were lost, truly, because you had a lot of fantasies in your head but many were ones you had never tried before, even with previous partners. It made you hesitate, and you wondered if these were things you wanted to try for the first time with a complete stranger.

“Oh, trust me, you do.” Mei Mei, your coworker, had responded when you talked to her about your woes. She swung her leg and she took a swig of her coffee, leaning back and giving you a teasing smirk. “When I say these men know what they are doing, they know what they are doing. I would argue this is the best option if you wanna be adventurous in the sheets. Because no matter how you respond, the guy will know how to handle it.”

So after many days of ruminating and carefully curating your form, choosing yes on every option you wanted to try, you had taken a deep breath and submitted it. You felt instant regret as soon as you clicked send, wondering what the fuck you were doing. You were a successful career woman, and here you were, hiring a man to come fuck you in sinful ways. God, what had you come to? If your ex could see you now….

Over the next few days, you went through the payment process and finalizing a time slot for yourself. You talked on the phone to a very nice sounding middle aged lady who had the perfect customer service voice, who told you all the details you needed to know, how many hours your were getting, sending you a number where you could contact the agency afterwards, and a whole bunch of other stuff, finally ending it by letting you know the name of the man they had matched you up with.

Fushiguro Toji.

You gulped as you wrote the name down on the paper you were noting everything else on, tuning out her next words for a bit as you stared down at it. So this was the man you were going to have sex with. Was this okay? Or had you completely lost your mind and your self respect officially?

When you finally hung up, you mulled over the option of just canceling. But the thought only annoyed you. Come on, Y/N, what’s the big deal? The lady on the phone said they were a large, country wide agency who had thousands of clients. So they’re probably doing something right. And who cares? You’re a hardworking woman, and you still have needs. You’re just fulfilling a need you have. That’s it.

Pull yourself together.

And so here you were, on a cold Saturday evening, waiting for this Fushiguro Toji to show up at your door. You nearly jumped out of your skin when the doorbell rang, just two minutes before the agreed time. You stood up quickly, swaying a bit because of how shaky your legs felt, before taking a deep breath and walking to the door. You put your eye up to the peephole, cursing when you saw only chest and shoulders, unable to get a glimpse of his face. You were so panicked that you didn’t even register that this meant he was extremely tall. You only clocked in that fact when you finally opened the door.

It was the first thing you noticed. Just how massive he was. Even though his loose sweatshirt hid most of him, there was no questioning how broad his shoulders were, or how he stood so tall that you nearly dwarfed in comparison. You felt your heart skip, swooning. 10/10 for the escort agency on the size kink option. This man was huge.

He had jet black hair, spiky but tamed, and it looked soft as hell. He looked down at you with a little smirk, and your eye caught the scar on the corner of his mouth. It somehow added to how sexy he was, and you swallowed hard. Yup, this guy was a walking wet dream.

You wanted to slam the door in his face.

He said your name questioningly, and you nodded to confirm your identity. Out of instinct, you said his name back, making him nod and his lip curl up just a bit more. You nearly shivered when his eyes quickly mapped over your figure. For a brief second, you wished you had dressed up a bit more than just your jeans and a sweater, but you doubted you could still look half as good as he did.

“C-come in.” You choked out, stepping aside to let him in. He lumbered inside, movements almost slow and lazy, but still smooth. Your breath hitched when his cologne flooded your senses. Fuck. He also smelled great.

Your hesitation only increased, but you shook your head. He’s probably been with a ton of women. His whole job is to look good and be good in bed. Of course he was attractive. The agency had promised that all their workers were physically good looking. You just hadn’t guessed they would be sex on legs.

By the time you closed the door, locked it and trudged into the living room, Toji was standing in the center of it, looking around with slow movements of his eyes. His hands were buried in the pockets of his jeans, and he was biting the inside of his cheek. He turned to look at you once you were in view again, and you watched him give you another once over. You tugged on your sleeves again, fueling your nervous habit. You heard him snort.

“My boss was right. You’ve never done this before.”

You blinked, not expecting him to say that, or have such a rough tone. It almost offended you, like he thought you were some loser. When he saw your scowl, he immediately raised his hands with a chuckle.

“Don’t mean it in a bad way, sweetheart. It’s kinda cute. Just took me off guard, considering the shit you ticked off on your form.”

Now that made you flush and fidget. The knowledge that this stranger knew everything you wanted in the bedroom was a little unnerving, and pairing that with how heated his gaze suddenly got, and you felt your core stir.

“Would you like some tea?” You blurted out, at a loss for what else to say. He raised his eyebrow in response, making you cringe.

“Or coffee.” You added weekly. “Or we could uh…. just start. Um, go to the bedroom? I don’t-” Your face was so hot, you wanted to cry. Finally, you sighed and gave up, feeling your shoulders slump. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

This made Toji let out a hearty cackle, walking to your couch and dropping heavily on it. He patted the spot next to him, which you promptly took, unable to meet his eyes any longer. You convinced yourself that you couldn’t have done this worse, so there was no way to go but up since you had already hit rock bottom.

“Why’d ya get an escort service?” Toji asked, snapping you from your thoughts. You looked at him and saw genuine curiosity in his eyes, under the bored veneer that stretched over his face. You shrugged.

“I work too much. I wanted stress relief. My coworker said your agency was good. Now I’m kinda regretting it.” You explained concisely.

The tiniest of smirks took residence on Toji’s face at your last words, his body turned towards you. He hooked his arm over the back of the couch, resting his head on his balled up fist as he stared at you. “You won’t regret it by the time I’m done with you, sweetheart.”

Your breath caught at his words, body stiffening. To Toji’s trained eye, your movement was obvious, and it made him chuckle.

“You like that? Well, I can’t be surprised. You’re big on dirty talk, aren’t ya?”

He moved closer as he talked, one hand reaching out until his finger was tracing down your cheekbone, over your jaw, up until he reached your lips. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, and your mouth opened on instinct.

“Wonder what kind of talk ya like more? Praise? You wanna be called a good girl? Or maybe the other kind? Maybe you’re a desperate little slut?”

His voice was rough, the air was charged, and despite the cold, heat flooded your veins. You felt like you could barely breathe, afraid to make any motion that could push Toji away. You felt your core pulse when he leaned forward.

“You familiar with the color system for safewords?”

You nodded almost imperceptibly. He hummed.

“Good.”

And then his lips were meeting yours.

It was slow, lazy, like all of his movements. His lips dragged over yours in an almost sensual way. His hand cupped the back of your head and tilted it to his liking, deepening the kiss more. His tongue teased your lips until you parted them, darting inside to slide it over yours. Your eyes rolled shut, shivers running over your spine, hands reaching up instinctively to curl into the material of his sweatshirt. He facilitated every move your mouth made, as if egging you to keep going, and you responded in kind, arching closer to him, pressing harder on his lips, even licking into his mouth a bit, albeit shyly. You felt his mouth curl as he pulled away, a wet squelch as your lips separated. You whined in protest, not even recognizing your voice, and he chuckled.

“We’ve got all night, sweets. Take it easy.”

His hands maneuvered you until he had you in his lap, and it was your first taste of Toji’s strength. You nearly keened at how easy it was for him to pull you around, and you once again felt your insides clench. Being on top of him made you feel intimately all the hard planes of his torso, and you finally let your hands wander. Toji didn’t stop you, watching your fingers disappear under his sweatshirt and meet his bare skin. You sucked in a sharp breath, tilting your head up to meet his lips again as your hands began their exploration.

Toji hummed, letting you guide the kiss this time, and you realized that he had played his cards very carefully to make sure you would come out of your shell. The thought turned you on even more, and you were absolutely sure that you had completely soaked through your lacy underwear by now. You pawed on his shirt, tugging it a bit.

“Take this off, please.”

Toji bit at your bottom lip. “Please what?”

You felt yourself flush hot, picking up on his implication. Another thing you had mentioned on your form. Your body stiffened but Toji squeezed at your sides, hands slipping under your sweater to rub your skin.

“Say it, baby. And I’ll do what you want.”

His lips were wandering, past your mouth, over your jaw and down your neck until his teeth were nibbling on the skin under your ear. Your eyes rolled up, subconsciously grinding down on his lap.

“Please,” you gasp when he sucked hard, likely leaving a hickey. “Please, daddy.”

Toji groaned, the first noise he had made all night, and it shot straight to your pussy. He reached behind him to tug his sweatshirt off, exposing him in all his muscled glory. Your mouth watered at the sight, hands running over him freely. You couldn’t believe you had this man under you, letting you grope and feel him up like this, looking up at you with eyes so predatory it nearly set off alarms in your head. Your touch was getting more and more firm as you continued touching him, his hands pushing down on your hips to encourage the way you were grinding on him. You felt his erection rub right between your legs, where you wanted him most, and you bit your lip in response. He felt big. Definitely the biggest you had ever had. You didn’t even have to look at it to know it would be a tight fit, and the thought of it made excitement zip through you. Your initial nervousness was dissipating, and all your repressed urges were now floating freely in your head.

You needed him to ruin you.

The thought made your movements more frantic, tugging and pulling at Toji, moaning into his lips when his hands wandered under your sweater and groped harshly at your breasts. God, when was the last time a man had touched you like this? You were so wet it made your whole body arch, pulsing with need.

“Daddy. Want- want you.” You whimpered in his ear, feeling his intake of breath at your words. Toji tugged your sweater off, pushing you back so he could take you in. You knew you already looked like a mess, and the thought made your face heat up. Toji smirked at you, stretching the little scar on the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, you leaned forward, licking at the healed over skin. His grip on your hips got impossibly tighter, and you knew it would leave bruises. He stood up, making you quickly wrap your legs around his waist, before walking towards your bedroom, which you pointed out. His lips never left your neck, nipping at any part he could reach, licking over you. You wondered if Toji had a thing for biting.

He was indulging everything you wanted, but a part of you wanted to indulge him too.

He tugged off your jeans and panties as soon as he had you lying on the bed, leaving you in only your bra. Your shyness seemed to have melted away at this point, your brain so foggy with need that you couldn’t think of anything except having him on top of you. Toji was quick to discard his own jeans, leaving him in his boxers, which were straining against the daunting bulge of his cock. You licked your lips at the sight, and the action didn’t go unnoticed by the man, who gave you a grin.

“You want my dick?”

You nodded eagerly, spreading your legs on instinct when he draped himself over you, slotting himself in the space you created. He hummed and licked his lips, eyes wandering over your figure. You felt yourself clench again at the heat behind his eyes.

“Let me get a taste of you first, sweetheart. Then you can have me.”

And then he lowered himself until his face was level with your bare pussy, breath fanning over it in a way that made your eyes flutter. You shouldn’t be shocked at how brazen he was, since this was his job, but it still surprised you. Your thoughts quickly melted away though, when he licked a fat stripe from the bottom to the top of your slit, parting your lips until he could lick at you unencumbered, swiping his tongue over your heat over and over.

You gasped and arched into him, feeling shivers run down your spread legs. Fuck, he was good. Of course he was good. His movements were purposeful, like he had done this a million times before (which he probably had). His tongue seemed to know every little nook and cranny that needed attention, gliding over your cunt until he circled your hole, sinking into the opening. You cried out when the tip hit your walls just right, enough stimulation to feel good but not nearly enough to satisfy. His lips and tongue left you breathless and wanting more. His massive hands held your thighs apart, teeth nibbling at your clit slightly until you were whining under him.

“Fuck. Toji.” Your voice already sounded so wrecked.

When his finger tip prodded at your entrance, you barely had time to process before he was sinking in, knuckle-deep. You cried out at the intrusion, eyes rolling when he curled it and seemed to immediately find your spot. You felt his lips twist up into a smirk when you cursed, knowing he had you.

His movements were merciless, one finger becoming two and pumping in and out of you so fast you were sure he would rip you apart. No matter how hard you clenched, his fingers were undeterred, as if he was adamant on ruining your cunt. You could hear the squelching of your juices, the sound filthy and so sexy it put you right on the edge. Toji seemed to notice. His dark eyes burned into yours, mouth lifting from your clit to let his fingers do all the work while he watched your writhe under his touch.

“You gonna cum, babygirl? Gonna soak my fucking hand? C’mon, baby. Wanna feel this pussy drench me. C’mon. Cum.”

His voice was so rough, adding to the sensations until you felt dizzy, muscles snapping stiff as you came all over his fingers. The noises grew even wetter, your juices flowing past his knuckles and down to his wrist. He hummed his approval, the sound set deep in his chest, eyes zoned in on your fluttering lips. When he pulled out, you let out a long, deep sigh. Your legs were trembling as Toji made his way up to you, licking up your neck before nipping at your earlobe.

“You got such a perfect cunt, baby.” He moaned into your ear, hips grinding down and pressing his clothed cock against you. “Perfect little pussy, fuck. You tellin’ me you haven’t been feedin’ her with cock on a daily basis? Because that’s what she deserves. To be stuffed full with a big dick every night. Soppy little filthy pussy like that needs loving daily.”

You keened at Toji’s words, your breath catching at how lewd he was being. He hooked a thumb into his boxers and tugged them down until his heavy cock sprang free and hit his stomach, tip flushed an angry maroon shade and leaking precum. Your mouth watered at the sight, not even caring about how big he was or how wide he would stretch you. You whined and wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer.

“Need you, Daddy.” You breathed out.

“You have me, little girl.” He cooed, almost taunting. His lips were twisted into a wide grin, looking down at you with unbridled lust. You noticed how red the tips of his ears were, flushed down his neck as well. His hair was pushed back haphazardly out of his eyes, and his body was covered by a thin sheen of sweat. His eyes were blown.

When Toji finally sank his cock into you, in one slow stroke, he groaned and cursed loudly, sinking down to his elbows on either side of your head. He let out a long breath, cursing again before a large, rough hand came up and wrapped around your neck, squeezing the sides just a bit. You gasped and arched into him, eyelids fluttering. The light haziness in your head was now intensifying as Toji bullied his cock slowly but surely into your cunt, no matter how much it tried to resist the intrusion.

“Fuck.” His voice broke a little. And somehow, that was better than the orgasm he had just pulled out of you. Knowing you had that kind of effect on this man who had never met you before, that you were reducing him to this just by your body alone, made you feel powerful. You clenched around him on purpose, and his grip on your neck tightened, making you freeze. He looked down at you, his grin almost manic.

“You playin’ games with me, sweetheart? Nasty little slut. I never would’ve thought.”

He pulled out then, until only the tip of his cock was inside you, before surging forward, hips slamming hard into you. You screamed and arched, and Toji didn’t give you a second more, thrusting into you in earnest.

“You forgot I was the boss here, little girl. Me. Say it.”

You could barely choke the words out, having the wind knocked out of you with every brush of his cock on your g-spot.

“Y-you’re-” You screamed at a particularly brutal thrust, legs kicking and twitching. Toji’s grip on your neck tightened, and you could no longer breathe. Your eyes crossed at the feeling.

“Look at you. Can’t even say a word. Such a whore for daddy.”

When he eased his hold, you took in big gulps of air, only a few moments before he tightened his grip again. His movements didn’t slow down for one second, driving his cock into you at a maddening pace.

“I’m gonna-” You didn’t finish. You couldn’t. Because in that moment, your orgasm crashed into you like a freight train, so intense you could barely breathe, even despite Toji loosening the hold he had on your neck. Your vision blackened, stars bursting over it as you writhed and twitched under him. He didn’t stop fucking into you, didn’t even pause. He groaned when you came around his cock, and he kept going.

You realized that this was just the beginning of a very long night.

………………………………..

It was around 4 in the morning when you tapped out. Or rather, Toji finally let you tap out.

You had come so many times you couldn’t count. You had positively lost all feeling in your legs, and every muscle in your body was sore and buzzing. Toji had pulled and twisted you into every position known to man, spanked and slapped you around, choked you, tugged on your hair until your scalp tingled, and had stuffed his cock, fingers and tongue into your abused pussy so many times you felt like you were dying. It was the most you had ever felt, every sensation amplified, crying until tears soaked your cheeks, cumming until you just couldn’t anymore. He quite literally fucked the soul out of you, plain and simple.

Now you were lying on your side on the bed, watching with half lidded, barely open eyes as Toji tugged his clothes back onto his glorious, god-like frame. He had only a few marks. Your teeth marks on his neck and shoulders, and some scratches down his back. Compared to you, bitten and bruised all over, he looked unaffected.

He turned to look at you, smirking when he saw that you were already watching.

“You sure you’re done? Ya have me for two more hours at least.”

You nodded and let out an unflattering snort. “If I had to go one more round you might have to take me to the hospital.”

He let out a laugh at that, walking closer to you. He fished in the pocket of his sweatpants, pulling out a small, rectangular card. You could barely make out his name and number.

“Don’t call the service next time. Call me directly.”

You raised a teasing eyebrow. “You do personal services?”

He shrugged in return, sending you a sleazy wink. “Only for really sweet cunts like yours.”

You groaned and buried your face in the mattress, hearing him laugh loudly before standing up.

“I’ll see myself out.”

You didn’t move until you heard the front door slam, feeling your lips tug up in a smile. You would have to thank Mei Mei profusely for her recommendation. And now you understood that she didn’t exaggerate the effectiveness of this escort service.

This was definitely not the last time you would be seeing Fushiguro Toji.

[http-finnick]

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫

finnick odiar x fem!reader

summary: after the war, your whereabouts are a mystery left with missing next to it. finnicks days are gloomy without his love as jealous friends burden him.

request: hi I love your finnick stories so much!! i really like reading them ♥️ i saw requests are open an was wondering if you could do a finnick x reader where its after the war and he thinks shes dead but later finds out she’s alive and he’s just happy and excited to plan their life together? thank you ♥️

I dont..miss her. it's strange. I- I want her here it's just..I feel like I've lost something..like I'll find it soon. It'll be in arms reach soon, just...wait. that's all. wait.

"you're grieving. It's denial" his head pops up to see a red-headed woman cross her legs, he almost forgot he was saying that all out loud

"she isn't missing, Finnick, she isn't at arms reach. She's dead." Annie moves her hair behind her ear before resting her head on her hand, staring at his expression, for a reaction to her statement

"some shrink you are." he scoffs, he hates how she's talking. she isn't dead. she cant be.

"...finnick" pity. her tone is pitiful and there's nothing he despises more. he struggles to find logic to support his calm as he fumbles from rage

"no body."

"what?" "no body. no proof. she could be alive" now he stares straight at her. her wide brown eyes flashing a sign of annoyance before being coated with a wave of seriousness.

"we went over this. you need to look at the facts-" "I am. no body." now he's getting defense, how could she say that? wheres her hope? she never gives up on anyone why would she give up on you so quickly?

"you called me a shrink. I'm not. I'm a friend and you need to listen to me as that. mourn her. do it now before you hold onto her forever"

.

she's gone. I know that now. I don't talk about her anymore, annie doesn't like the noise. mostly to myself when I want to reminisce on good memories that just end up with me crying in the bathroom like a pathetic wimp. sometimes I think to talk about her to annie but she just tells me to let go of her. but I can't.

the 5 stages of grief. Annie told me about that. is confusion one? I feel confused.

I sit on the island counter as I hear fabric on fabric, it's the dress of annie swiping against itself as she walks in to check on me.

"hey, you okay?" she leans against the wall, fiery red hair longer than ever as she awaits my answer

"uhh, yeah, yeah." brushing it off as I sit up, she isn't satisfied. he knows but it isn't the time.

"wanna talk about it?" seriously? he can? and to think she hated the noise

"it'd be nice" he answered sniffing slightly as he was already getting emotional

"what's the matter?" she sits down and motions for him to do as well, he hesitates, feeling more in control of the situation by standing and looking away, but, he sits.

"uh, I'm really am missing her a lot more" he watched her chew her cheek and he starts to feel claustrophobic. is he a burden? an annoyance to bring up the past? to dwell so heavily?

"what are you hanging onto so much?" her tone is soft but he knows spitfire when he hears it, he smiles and bites his bottom lip, he knew it was too good to be true.

"what?" shes clueless. utterly clueless and he's about to snap

"no it's just, wow."

"..wow?"

"you tell me to mourn but I'm never allowed to!" he smiles while sitting up, completely done. over her bullshit and looking for a fight

"well, mourning isn't clinging onto things fin." she hits right back, ready to get this over with and go to bed.

"what the hell is wrong with you? I- I have no one to fucking talk to!"

"you aren't here when you talk! you are somewhere else living in the past and you can't hear anyone when they tell you the truth!"

"oh- oh so what this truth?" he pushes her, ready for her to say, daring her to.

"that she's dead and you need to get over that." she strikes for the kill and it fucking hurts. he bites his tongue as she scoffs and tries to form a semi-redeemable apology that he knows he just bullshit

"no. I need you to get the fuck out." he waves his hand mindlessly towards the door as he stares at the floor, feeling blood pool into his mouth from biting his tongue a little too hard

.

two of the most important women are gone from his life and he only has a chance with one of them.

he wears dress pants and a button-up with flowers he picked this morning. he needs at least for this to work out.

he slides the bouquet onto the counter and lets his fingers run through his fluffy locks as he opens the fridge, trying to find some drinks they can have together as he scans the empty cold box.

he throws his head back at the sound of the rippling scream of his phone, he can't deal with post-capitol shit right now.

he swings his feet and grabs the telephone off the wall, stating his name and 'hi' as he waits

a woman chimes in on the other line stating herself and her authority as she starts to say things he doesn't really understand, numbers of times and dates, he doesn't do appointments or capitol press anymore

"wait- wait. I'm sorry, what?"

"for ms.l/n, when will you arrive for her?" he drops the phone as his throat closes up. they found her. they found her. they found her.

her body.

pickup. they want me to come to get her. his knees became weak and he slid to the floor, only now hearing her voice asking for him as it dangled next to his shaking body

he grabs it and puts it up to his ear, his voice cracking as he asks what date, time, and location to...pick her up.

he couldn't help but notice the way she talked about 'ms.l/n' in a slight past tense. he wanted confirmation for the longest time but it was bittersweet knowing she was actually gone. no fuck that. it's bitter it hurts like hell. it feels like the day he found out she was gone and panicked looking for her, though this time actually finding a body. he isn't gonna let Annie's "coping 101" infect his brain now. he is in pain. he feels like he is dying.

his love is gone. It's been months of her gone but now she's gone.

the train ride was silent as he just sat there in shock the whole time. he was lucky enough to get one today. he hopes they are wrong, hoping when he walks in it'll be someone else.

he stumbles into the hospital, telling the nurses about the call and about the woman on the other line. they tell him a room number and he floats there without question.

he notices how the room isn't leading to a morgue but rather a patient room. maybe it's full. maybe they found her with other missing troops.

and turns the door and cracks it open, he can't stop himself to shut his eyes tightly as he hopes shes is in a zipped body bag at least

he opens his eyes right when he walks in.

there. it's you. no doubt.

it's you sitting up. you're alive.

"y-y/n?"

"holy shit finnick..you're all dressed up for me?" how, how could you joke at this time? how can you joke at all? you were dead. he thought you died he-

he sprints towards you and hugs you tightly, tears flowing from his eyes as he smells you, feels you, loves you again

"I- I thought you died.."

"me too" you mumble feeling your own tears slip out as he weeps against you. you're safe.

"I love you, I love you so much" he cries out, not daring to pull away from you but you manage to lift him up just enough to be face-to-face with him. you kissed him softly, his lips familiar and warm

"I love you too"

you're thin and bruised. utterly beaten down by nature as your busted lip smiles at him, and he knows no matter how long you were lost you were the same old you deep down.

"let's get married. let's get married and move anywhere you want." he smiles, thinking of living with you in the meadow, alone, just the two of you.

"woah, next you're gonna say let's make a million babies" you giggle, pretending like you weren't about to say the same thing.

"not quite a million my love but close to it" he laughs and you fall into it as well. wiping your tears with your free hand had only now noticed how hard your other hand was gripping his

"I missed your laugh so much" he sniffs, tears still spilling out as he smiles at you

"I missed everything about you so much" you dip back in to kiss him and he goes right to it, hugging you deeply as he thinks about how soon you'll be his wife. soon he'll be your husband and soon you two will have a life. a real one.

an: I hope this is okay! I added Annie drama on accidentally lmao. I hope I didn't pace it weirdly and I hope I was able to catch how Finnick was feeling at least a little well. like he knew deep down she was alive but he was just mourning her absent presence. I hope you guys enjoyed it! mwah, love you so much!

[r0ttenhearts]

Friends?

Scaramouche x Best friend! Reader

angst, no comfort, insults

a bright, summer afternoon. the blazing heat outside of the cooled windows as the cicadas hummed in the unforgiving warm air. but there you were, sitting on scaramouches bed next to him, tapping away at your handheld game as you talked to him. you two had been friends since the start of the previous school year. your sweet smiles and kind gestures moved him, or you hoped they did, as he spoke with you the most in class until it turned to after school study sessions, and eventually just hanging out at each others homes when school was over.

as cruel as scaramouche could be, you found yourself falling for him. the rare smiles he’d give you, or his kind words that were few and far between. it meant more to you than you expected. you figured you were cracking through his tough shell, as he didn’t seem to mind spending time together over the break. or so you thought.

“haypasia is back in town. i thought i’d go see her so i don’t think you can come over for awhile.”

oh right. haypasia. the very bane of your existence. it seemed like every time she was around, scara would leave you to be forgotten. a second thought. sure she knew scara for longer, but did she really know him like you did? no, of course she didn’t, because she was never around. but you were. scaramouche would complain to you about her obsessive antics, how annoying she was and how bothersome she could be, only for him to defend her if you got upset with him about spending too much time together.

“oh.. when will you go see her?” you ask quietly, your voice cracking as you feel that oh so familiar lump in your throat. scaramouche glances at you from above his screen, scoffing and a look of disbelief on his face. “seriously y/n? you’re still so upset about her? what’s your deal?”

you shake your head as you put down your game. your hair covering your face as you don’t face him. you can’t. if you do you’ll break, and you know it. “i just.. i wish you wouldn’t go away for days at a time when she’s around.. you’re my best friend you know? and it hurts to realize that you pick someone over me, someone that doesn’t even stay.” you confess, your hands starting to shake as you can feel his eyes bore into your shaking form.

you can hear him scoff beside you as he sits up, “best friends? we’re friends. actually, we’re hardly even friends because i barely even like you.

you dont shut the fuck up you never do.

you make up lies in your head cause you think i like you but you delusional-ly believe i wouldn’t ever talk to other people and god forbid it be a girl.

oh and you're gonna switch it around saying the reverse about how id care when we all know damn well you could get beat in an alleyway and the most you'd get out of me is a "sorry to hear that.”

he gives you the meanest glare as you stand up from his bed as he shoves you against his bedroom door. fat tears roll down your cheeks as he grips your chin, forcing you to look into his dulled, purple eyes.

“no, tell me im wrong. tell me i dont know what im talking about. god youre so fucking stupid.”

he spits as he lets go of your chin, opening the door as you stumble out. he slams his door shut as you stand there in tears. you loved him? you loved him after he told you how he doesn’t care for you? how pathetic could you be. how could you care so deeply for someone that wouldn’t ever look at you, not even in a friendly way?

with his words ringing through your head, you gather your belongings as you leave his home. your game left forgotten on his bed, wishing to never return or face him again.

————————-

a/n: based on a very real argument with my best friend. a little self indulgent but this was a comfort post. thanks for reading!

part II:

[kiryoutann]

I have read 'a man's heart is truly a wretched, wretched thing' and when I tell you it leaves marks in me, it is. I still can feel the pain, each words, I still can feel it at all. It's been years I didn't read any CoD fanfic and I found you, It's like I've been searching for a mystic flower everyone is so sure it is a mystic but I found it lol, and I also love your writing style. And the funny thing is, I kinda relate to the reader lmaoo.

Idk what I want to write more about this, but I'm glad I found your blog hehe, and dont forget to take care of yourself 🩶🩶

-🍞

when i tell you i immediately smiled when i saw this!!! omg. made my day, made my whole week my whole june and my whole july. thank u for giving me my first feedback for my lil ghost fic🥺💘 you’re an angel

funny thing about me is that i rely on feedback so SO much when writing fanfiction, and usually the lack of it makes me feel like i’m doing smth wrong or that it’s not interesting (i’m TRYING to not do this tho). but when i saw this??? and i read the part where u relate?? THE MYSTIC FLOWER??? ILY ILY ILY FOREVER.

and this is gonna be long and random but GOD. i’m sorry that you relate to it but i hope you can find comfort in the story and the upcoming chapters. AND HEY! sometimes we cope by reading something that we relate to so it’s ok

here comes the long unasked explanation…

the main reason why i came up with the plot is cause i need to get smth out of my system and maybe it’ll help others to process whatever they’re feeling too. and also, it’s the fact that i gotta pour my heart and thoughts that i gathered after making a playlist of it.

so like, the URGE to somehow write it all down, to explore simon’s character, my portrayal of him, and THESE TWO – this destructive duo with the MC and her anxious attachment style while simon’s more on the avoidant attachment side. the way he thinks he’s protecting her, not wanting to hurt her—but in reality it was just some kind of justification for his self-sabotaging habits, his inability to accept that maybe he deserves smth good in his life.

can’t say much about MC cause she’s probably gonna be a more complex character (surprisingly) than him. mostly gonna be linked to her parental issues. my pathetic, sad, love-starved girl who’s gonna learn that maybe mother was right all along – that a man’s heart is truly, a wretched, wretched thing.

can’t wait to share more with u 🍞 anon<33 have a great day lovieee. stay happy n healthy and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. xoxo!!!!

[urmomw4ntsme]

ahsei thoughts on frazel jason/piper and caleo GO

Okay SAW THIS AND WAS LIE. i need to mswer tjsi and. frazel didnt make me feel thst jason/piper didnt make me feel that CLEO CALEO IT FCUKIGN SUCKS EW I WIL TEL MORE.

ok so frazel is oki cuti coupel i like them theg so sweet like "will u hold my hand in fromt of everyone 🥺" vibes LIKE THE ONEEEE HE GIVES HIS LIFELINE TK HER BECAUSE HE TRUSTS HER SM HE HAS TRUST ISSUES HES SCRED AND TERRIFIED BYT HE GIVES IT TO HER AND SHE PROMISES TO KEEP IT SAFE WHY R PJO BOYS SO FUCKING UNRE AL WHEN WILL I FIND SOMEONE WHO WUD LITERALLY TRUST ME WITH TJEIR LIFE LKKE NKT FIGURATIVELY LITERALLY AMD WJO WUD LITERALLY GIVE UP GODHOOD FOR ME AND WHO WUD LITERALLY JUMP INTO THE UNDERWORLD FKR ME KYS FATE ASS BITCH

anyway

um so jsson/piper NO jiper. hehehehe or better yet pason ehehhehe idk what to fee about them tbh thty lowky give steggy vibes mainly cus jason gives me stvve vibes hes also stronh soldier traumatised asf. :( and piper is js like peggy badass gorgeous beautiful shud be with me i shud be kissing her rn alexa play boyfriend by dove cameron :( and I knwo the futjre i readspoilers so now its js there in my brain can do noting about it

omg this fucjing shitp. shit? ship? who knwos i literally adore calypso okay i love her sm but i just fucking hate it that they made her fall inlove with leo?? like this is wrong (to me) on so many levels a. she was CURSED to fall in love with every single demigod who ever went to ogygia or wtv. and it was devastating obvs that she had to go thru tht heartbreak again and again but !!!! IT WAS LITERALLY NOT HE. FAULT THE STUPID FUCJING DOGS sorry gods CURSED HER CUS SHE WAS. R E L A T E D. TO A TITAN. HOW IS THT FAIR. HOW .

and ir was literally. bound to happen. there was absolutely no way that be it percy or leo or whomstever thw fuck went to that god forsaken island SHE COULD NEVER EVER HELP BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT PERSON SHE WAS CURSED. i js googled it btw in case i was wrong or misinformed BUT NO. SHE WAS CURSED. SHE . HAD. TO Fall FOR THAT PERSON EVEN IF SHE DIDNT WANT TO EVEN IF SHE HATED THEMM how is that fair to EITHER LEO OR CALYPSO??? I LOVE LEO SM HE IS MY BABY I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS?????. this IS SOOOOO REMADORA CODED DONT EVEN GET ME STARTEDDDDD like. it felt liek the author wamted both of them to be in a romantic relationship ANY romantic relationship and then was js like ok well theyre byh single lets do it. NO??? NOOOOOOO AND IF U SAY ooooo bu. they spent like 1000 days on the island tgt they developed chemistry NO BITVH THEY DIDNT. LEO WAS 16 YEAR OLD TEENAGE BOY WITH NO ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE EVER. like tell me u have never ever thought u have a crush on someone of the opposite gender while spending time with them even if u probably didnt have a crush on them??? if u haven't thats fine BECAUSE I HAVE and its Normal very many people go thru that u see perosn of opposie gendrr u R FORCED !!!! TO SPEND TIME WITH OERSON OF OPP GENDRRZ and u think omg ...... do i .... Like? them. WHAT. and u probably dont ur js a loser (like i was , like leo was) who has never spent tiem with someone of tbe opposite gender (wa. raised in an extremely 'conservative' read: boys and girls cannot ever just be normal friends household also wen to all girls elementary and high school , leo was js a loser thsts my excuse for hmm) OKAY GET IT???? THEY DID NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER WHILE MAKING MECHANIC PARTS TOGETHER at least leo didnt AND I LOVE MY GIRL CALYSO AND I LOVE ADORE LEO BUT I FUCKING BET IF CALYPSO WASNT CURSED SHE WUD NOT LOOK TWICE AT LEO HE IS LITERALLY JS A LOSER GUY PATHETIC (ADORABLE AWESOME AMAZING FUNNY BUT SRSLY LITERALLY NAM ONE GIRL WHO TOOK HIM SERIOUSLY OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS WE SEE HIM INTERACTING WITJ IN THE SERIOES) anyway thanks for coming to MY ted talk its MINE dont get offended love yall stay safe muah muah

[fraudulent-cheese]

I really wanna hear about the skave one(12.)

OH BOYYYY

I'll get this one out of the way immediately. I hate them as a couple.

Ok hate's a little strong? To me, wanting them to be a couple is missing the goddamn point, on top of being an insanely boring outcome and doing the exact thing the ship subverts in canon. No hate to skave shippers, i just dont like this ship as an actual couple.

HOWEVER. As the train wreck they are in canon? Ignoring Lies, Cries and One Big Prize for a second - they rule. Awesome, nearly no notes. I love that they're doomed from the start of their actual romantic advances, that their flaws prevented them from getting in a relationship, hell i'd argue the superficial nature of their crushes is a good thing here since it reinforces both how this relationship wasn't gonna work out AND it feeds into each character's main flaw: a lack of communication.

Neither Dave nor Sky are great at telling the other what they want, and endlessly run on assumssions based on their own expectations and narratives; Sky thinks Dave would understand the competition comes first but Dave isn't doing that, while Dave is convinced Sky wants him bad for half the season and pines very hard after her for multiple challenges. Hell, this lack of communication/ignoring boundaries on Dave's end is set up perfectly by the first actual conversation they have! Sky opens up about her family's history and why she's training for the olympics... And he hasn't listened to a word she said. And then U-turns the conversation to liking her (according to my own recollection, maybe im missremembering). They both have apparent "quirks" related to how they communicate/react to liking someone else that would inhibit good communication for fucks sakes! They were doomed! And i love that! They're both trainwrecks in romance (especially Dave dear god) and it's so, so satisfying to watch it finally grumble by episode 9.

I love how Dave's cockiness is born out of him following the advice Shawn gave him last episode to an extreme, again showing that he's just going off on the assumption on how a "winner" acts. And then! Sky! Tells! Him! Off! Literally my favorite moment of the episode. If reality TV wouldn't let them reconcile i am glad it let Dave pathetically try to get over/get back at Sky while the girl completely brushes him off and really asserts her boundaries. I also like Dave outright eliminating himself afterwards (i dont get why Sky was in the bottom 2 tho...) because like! He would do that! He's only staying here because he's got a crush on the idea of Sky and now it's been destroyed, ofc dude wants out!

...and then the finale happened. Ughhhh why did they do them like thattttt

Look, im still making the tdpi video, but it's been put on the serious backburner since i am in medical school and have very limited access to my computer. But i have an entire paragraph about how i dont like how skave was handled in the finale, i've yapped about it before on here, how it mischaracterises Sky, how the Boyfriend Back Home reveal sucks ass, how Dave's reaction feels like the writters being desperate for an antagonistic force in the finale when Chris is right here, ect... Im not going there again. TLDR, i really dont like it.

Uh if you want more thoughts about them in canon, i'd recommend reading this post by @/leonave since it's really good. Anyways

NOW FOR WHAT I WANTED FOR MY REWRITE.

Now the thing is that i dont think there's much wrong with the start of the season. This applies to the set-up of Sky and Dave's dynamic; Dave crushing on Sky because she helped him makes sense with the way he seems to view her, and the way their crushes feel so artificial (ESPECIALLY on Sky's end) is actually beneficial to the direction i wanted to go with them - namely, that Sky isn't really crushing on Dave and Dave realises how superficial his crush was. And wasn't as intense as he thought it was. Obviously the conversation is a little awkward - Dave still wouldn't take rejection well, but is also trying to be supportive because he does like talking to Sky and also he basically just came on international television by accident and Dave isn't that terrible of a person - and they wouldn't be on good terms for a bit, but they would resolve the conflict and actually become friends afterwards. Eventually. They're still not great at communication and are also dealing with confusing emotions on reality TV.

uhhh idk what else to add to this post so uh. Here's Sky and Dave friendship propaganda with some yuri added ontop lol

[armandjolras]

This will be rambly and overly personal, but ive been wanting to talk about Fosca as chronic illness representation, and why the musical version of her is especially relatable in this sense.

(I also haven’t read the book, so maybe some changes im attributing to the musical are from the book)

In the movie, Fosca’s illness almost seems an extension of her ugliness, meant to horrify the viewer. Ugliness takes focus as her main burden; we’re told that she was shunned for her looks as a child and are shown many jumpscare shots of her face. Sickness is merely a consequence of ugliness. When not acutely ill, she seems quite healthy, even energetic. (Obviously having seizures is a very serious illness in real life, i just mean the way it’s presented in the movie).

Most interesting to me, she doesn’t seem depressed at all; she’s quite upbeat and witty. Her manipulative toxicity in the movie doesn’t come from depression, but rather because she’s never been treated as a woman due to being an outcast, so she doesn’t feel she has to adhere to the decorum of one.

In the musical, I see Fosca’s illness as being much more than just an extension of being ugly. It appears to affect her continuously between acute episodes, and she moves wearily as if fighting pain and discomfort at every moment. While suffering over ugliness still caused her illness in this version, that ugliness is not as emphasised. We’re told that her parents loved her rather than shunning her, so she wasn’t an outcast, and she’s depicted as more pathetic spinster than scary Nosferatu.

She is also clearly depressed. In my opinion, her toxic behaviour comes not from flouting social norms, but from the desperation of depression. Maybe others also relate to being depressed and behaving badly as a cry for help, unable to stop despite knowing you’re being toxic, because you need acknowledgment from people. I see Fosca’s behaviour this way. Georgio is the first person who is nice to her, so she physically can’t stop trying to extract love from him by any means, even when she admits she’s in the wrong.

I relate to Fosca strongly in this. Since 2020 I’ve struggled with multiple chronic illnesses which have limited my physical abilities; today I cant even sit upright for more than 15 minutes, some days less. Since I dont have any family or friends in the country where I’m living, and went through diagnosis and surgery alone mid Covid, at times I’ve felt very isolated. In 2022 i could tell I was behaving a lot like Fosca — I didnt do anything super toxic, but I was putting too much emotional burden on my long-distance parents even as I knew I was stressing them out and upsetting them. It felt like such a compulsion, because I was scared and isolated and wanted someone else to know how much I was suffering so I wouldn’t be alone it it. I’m much healthier mentally now, but that took therapy and medication which Fosca doesn’t have. Its a terrible feeling to see your world getting smaller and your dreams becoming less possible, and going through that alone.

I’ve had a lot of frustration towards how my illnesses have limited what I can do, and i have to make an effort not to be resentful towards healthier people. The line “I read about the joys the world / Dispenses to the fortunate / And listen for the echoes” really captures this. “I know how soon a dream becomes an expectation / How can I have expectations?” When your world gets smaller, you have to give up your hopes bit by bit so you dont get hurt. “Look at me / No, captain, look at me / Look at me!” In her desperation she demands his attention, even when she knows she’s being rude and repelling him, she just feels compelled to connect with someone.

I know “I Read” can be interpreted as being about her ugliness rather than of physical illness, and maybe that actually is the correct interpretation. But I’m very convinced that musical Fosca is depressed in a way that movie Fosca is not, and most of her words and actions stem from that. I also believe that by placing less emphasis on her shocking ugliness, it only makes since that a lot of her suffering is due to her physical illness. 

(And I also relate to Fosca’s final letter, where she says that appreciating the beauty in the world around you makes you want to go on living. Being ill has taught me to be much more grateful for small things in life.)

Other disclaimers: I dont mean Fosca’s suffering in the movie is NOT about her illness, in both versions its a combo of ugliness + illness. I just think they’re in different ratios. Also im not trying to be a Fosca apologist, I know shes super toxic and a stalker and essentially an incel, and also super annoying, I just understand her perspective. And finally I do like movie Fosca! Shes iconic I just relate to musical Fosca more.

[hashtagloveloses]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

the issue here is i have a recency issue. they cycle out depending on what i’ve consumed recently. so ill forget a blorbo and be sad about it. also i have a predilection for sad little bisexual guys so it’s very skewed

1. one of my OGs is will parry from his dark materials. he’s of that type of male character that is relentlessly kind shonen protagonist who keeps being forced into violence but doesnt want to. also the original book boyfriend next to percy jackson. 12 year old me was obsessed. i loved prince caspian and half the narnia boys for the same reason, and when i watched fullmetal alchemist this was why alphonse elric was my favorite elric brother. (this is also why i love yuji, tanjiro, and deku very dearly)

2. probably one of my first blorbos of all time was elphaba from wicked, hence my old URL. reading that book too early changed my brain chemistry. area leftist of a marginalized identity maligned by society and also bisexual as hell. she will always be my first and forever girly. you can imagine what happened to me when i met wei wuxian, who is essentially the same character. i went nuts

3. the funny little bisexual man who covers his pain with humor and cares so deeply usually goes on the list. one of my first was and always will be Sokka, but percy jackson fills this role as well as my beloveds, Satoru Gojo, and Vash the Stampede

4. funny little bisexual man who covers his pain with humor and is doomed by the narrative could cover many already mentioned but Nicholas D. Wolfwood remains the pinnacle. he’s very important to me. ive made a lot of posts about him but him representing this existential dread that you’ll die before you find happiness haunts me

5. the secondary villain who becomes a begrudging part of the team for comedy also always is a favorite but Greed from FMA has always stuck with me. an embodiment of one of humanity’s sins finding peace because the thing he most coveted became the love of others and not material wants got my ass

6. i understand there arent many women on this list and while i have favorite female characters in many pieces of media they dont often make the top list, however asajj ventress goes on the list. her story even before dark disciple is one of the best in star wars. as u can tell i have a predilection for evil women maligned in society

7. maul is also one of my favorites of all time. they really resurrected him and made him the most compelling in the narrative. the tragedy that he wont let go even in his last moments always gets me. watching twin suns actually broke me. his story in rebels was airing in a part of my life where i really identified with him as someone gifted yet ignored and thrown away and it got me

8. shocking absolutely no one, while sailor moon is one of my favorite pieces of media of all time and it is largely about women, my blorbo is tuxedo mask, mamoru chiba, the like ONE guy. he’s pathetic, he’s bisexual, and he’s also one of my first anime crushes of all time. more importantly he has been wronged by many adaptations and i must fight for his honor.

9. the Doctor remains ever important to me, especially 9, but them as a character. probably the same as Vash and Xie Lian, the sad immortal character cursed to constantly be alone who doesn’t want to hurt people always gets my ass

10. Rapunzel from Tangled has always been a very special blorbo for reasons i wont share online but that series had my ass in a vice grip for a reason

[crimson-catalyst]

wrote my july 2022 neph prompt, "meaningful belongings" featuring Darius and @synoicus' Kira!!!!! enjoy im very proud of this one!

~~~~~

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," one of the designers for this season's show wanders up to Darius' station, "where did you get your jacket? Is it custom? I love it."

"I-" Darius fights back the initial panic that surged when they gestured at his shoulders, trying to steady his voice to respond properly…

--

His phone rang, startling Darius from his reverie of staring blankly at whatever was on TV. Grasping blindly for his phone, he fumbled with the screen, eventually successfully swiping the ‘answer’ badge.

"H-"

"DUDE," Darius tipped the phone away from his ear as Kira's enthusiasm blew out the mic on her own.

"there's this TOTALLY SICK BAND THROWDOWN tonight at that club up on thirty-second!!!! Cold Brewing Storm and Zap Attack'll be there!!!! You're coming right??? Wanna ride together with me?? Toby said 'no' like a WEENIE cos he 'wants to get sleep tonight' or whatever."

"I…" Darius hesitated in the opening Kira finally afforded him. He'd have loved to. Of course he would've. But…

"I can't. sorry," he mumbled, pathetically. It felt bad. He could feel Kira's confusion in the silence.

"...that's the third time this week, dude." her voice was markedly softer, concern plain as day across the line, "You've been real down all of a sudden. Did something happen?"

"No."

Kira’s response was simply a contemplative pause, but of course that didn’t last for long.

"I'm coming over."

"Kira no yo-"

The call ended with a click and Darius snarled at the air as he lowered the phone from ear range. He furiously texted her instead: kira, dont. go to the show itll be great. kira. kira!!!! kira im fine!

She didn't deign to so much as leave him a read receipt. S'pose he should've known better; when Kira's mind was made up, there was little chance of stopping her. He sighed angrily, tugging at the unfamiliar t-shirt tight around his neck. He'd just have to stomach chatting with her long enough til she was satisfied and went home. At least she was easy to distract.

Ears flat back, annoyed with himself for even thinking this way about Kira, of all nephs, he shook himself to his feet and surveyed his immediate surroundings. It was pretty clear he’d had little energy to do much other than lay around on the couch feeling sorry for himself. He'd have to clean up at least a bit or she'd never believe his claims.

There was a knock on the door just as Darius put the last dry dish back in the cabinet. Flinging the towel across the back of a chair and slapping the trash shut - he'd have to take it out another time - he scampered to the door before Kira took his dallying as her cue to make more noise than the neighbors would appreciate.

He opened it just a crack, peering into the hall. "Kira I'm-"

"I BROUGHT SOUP," she barged the rest of the way past the door, past Darius, and into his apartment. "ITS GETTING COLD COME GET SOME!"

"Kira!" he helplessly trailed after her, the door falling lamely shut in her wake. "I'm okay this isn't necessary!"

"Nonsense," she yelled from the kitchen, her big, tinfoil-covered pot clanging onto the stovetop. "Where are your spoons?"

"In there -" he pointed reflexively before he realized he was enabling her, "but for real; you're gonna miss out on the show! You LOVE Zap Attack!"

"And Zap Attack," Kira muttered as she rustled around in his drawer, "PALES in comparison to how much I love my HOMIES!" she declared, brandishing a ladle. "So THERE."

Darius rolled his eyes, "please, I'm fine."

"I may love you but, full offense, you look like you rolled out of bed and right back into it a few days in a row, bud."

He grimaced. She wasn't wrong.

"And you're wearing a shirt. There's no way you're fine," she jabbed him playfully with the ladle. "ya nudist."

"It's! Comfy," he lied.

“Sure.” Kira rolled her eyes in return, turning back to the stove and tearing the foil off her soup to give it a stir. The little flames of the gas stove flickered tauntingly underneath the pot’s copper base and Darius felt queasy.

“You don’t have to tell me exactly what’s going on, man, but I know you; you’re stronger than this. You can own up to it when you’re having a rough time.” She drew the ladle back out of the pot, tipping her glasses to her forehead so they wouldn’t steam up as she sampled the soup. “Oh, good, it’s still toasty.”

Darius could practically feel his frustration building. “I’m an adult, Kira, I can handle it myself.”

“oh-HOH!” Kira whirled around and pointed at him again with the now-wet ladle, much to Darius’ chagrin. “So you ADMIT you’re feeling it!”

“I-” his cheeks burned and he grit his teeth, desperately trying to keep his boiling emotions in and incriminating himself in the same silence.

“Darius,” her voice soft again, Kira stepped down from the stove and closer to him. “I can’t help you if you aren’t willing to let me.”

"I"m FINE," he snapped, growling deep in his throat, but his mane prickled and crawled and he knew his game was up as a burst of flame crackled through his t-shirt.

Kira's ears flattened and she recoiled at the sudden heat. Upon opening her eyes again Darius had completely deflated, head in his hands beneath sagging shoulders and tail limp on the ground as fire leaped from his fur.

"Clearly," she remarked, insatiable need for snark getting the better of her.

"What happened?" she added more gently, "you can talk to me about it."

"I can't," Darius groaned, finally lifting his head and fixing her with a baleful stare through lidded eyes.

She poked him with the ladle, making a wet stain on the rags of his shirt. "Sure you can, this is a no-judgement zone."

He dragged his paws down his face. "No, Kira, its under NDA I actually can't."

"You got cursed on air-"

"mrmgmh NO I JUST--" Darius flailed wildly before freezing mid-gesture, and took a deep breath.

"I-" he looked around, strained, picking his words carefully "I… misused my magic."

"It wasn't during shooting and I don't think anyone knows it was me but I. It'll…" he growled in ‘legal bullshit’ frustration, "...it'll affect the season."

"Darius…"

"I KNOW. I know," he moaned, "I fucked up! It's a miracle I haven't been fired and it's only a matter of time before they find out. It's constant, Kira; the smoke, I- I had to take the batteries out of the alarm. And it smells like campfire in here, I'll never get it out-" he paused for breath, his thoughts finally gushing out in a panicked stream, and Kira padded around to sit beside him on the tile floor.

"And I'm-" the word caught in his throat, "I'm cursed. It's not like it'll go away; everyone - everyone - will know forever that I did it. That I-” his voice petered out into a whine, and he looked up at the badly-stuccoed ceiling, willing the tears he felt welling in his eyes to drain away.

Kira sighed. She knew he hailed from a conservative Nephfeist hometown, but this doom-and-gloom was so uncharacteristic for her normally overconfident friend that it was throwing her a bit off her groove.

“I know it must feel like it but it’s not gonna be the end of the world, dude.” she poked her own nubby sea-devil horns. “Mine’s a little different, but speaking from experience, I promise it won’t change you. Sure some assholes are gonna look at you funny but that’s their problem; and it’s their problem with spinx, not you, and they don’t deserve your time if they’re gonna be like that.”

“Gods,” he grimaced, “I can’t even stomach the idea of the looks I’ll get.”

“...and so you haven’t left your apartment all week?”

Darius glowered at her.

“I’d call you a weenie too but like… I get it, man. It’s not something you can overpower in your brain in just a day.” She patted his fluffy chest in lieu of his still-flaming shoulders. “I know you’ve got it in you but maybe let’s start simple today.”

Kira got to her feet and walked over to the chair she had draped her jacket across, the dishtowel underneath slipping down to the seat as she lifted it off.

“There’s no way this’ll fit you,” she remarked as she brought it back to the much larger Darius, “but if being seen is the problem-”

Darius winced as she threw it over the scraps of his unquestionably ruined t-shirt, waiting for the flames to blister through the leather - but instead to his relief felt them finally die back to smoke underneath. Kira bumped his chin up with a claw and drew the collar tight in front of him, letting the far-too-small sleeves hang limp over his sides.

“There,” she declared, triumphant. “Maybe it’s only a bandaid for now, but bandaids are the first step to healing: No smoke. No weird looks. No guilt.”

“Definitely some guilt,” Darius almost managed a smirk.

“Okay, fine, some guilt, but private guilt,” Kira’s eyes glittered happily hearing the smile in his voice again. “Baby steps.”

“...thanks, Kira,” Darius finally acquiesced, “sorry I couldn’t- didn’t say anything. It’s… a lot.”

A huge, goofy grin broke across Kira's face. “It’s okay, dude. That’s what friends are for, to force you into letting em care about you.” She put her arm around his back comfortingly, tugging again on the jacket collar with her other paw. “I’ll bring you a real one tomorrow, okay? But first: SOUP.”

--

Darius shook his head quickly to clear it, masking it as a part of conversation.

“Sorry, it was a gift from a friend,” he shrugs with his paws. “I’m not sure where she got it.”

“Drat,” the centicorn designer smiles good-naturedly despite their disappointment. “I’d have loved to see more of the line. Patterning tailored shoulders on spinx is a feat but that jacket looks great on you.”

“Well, thanks,” he smiles back unbidden, tugging on the lapels, and adds with a snicker, “It'd better, this one means a lot to me.”

[softxsuki]

Hello! I saw your 1000 follower match up event and I wanted to participate lol. I hope you have a great day, and your friends and family is doing well❣️

I was going to go on annon but then decided that there's nothing embarassing about this, so... yea :D I'll begin then.

1- Gendered pronouns dont really exist in where I live but I'd say it's she-her.

2 - The fandoms I really like are Tears of Themis and Obey Me!.

3 - I'm fine with both Female and Male <3

4 - I like romantic match-ups more.

5 - I'm an INTP-T

6 - I'm a december sagittarius.

7 - Personally I value humour, realism and honesty. I cannot tolerate bullshit where it's a game of cat and mouse, or if they treat me as a disposable object just to make me "jealous". I feel sick to my stomach when I see that. It's fun when you're friends since nothing is ever seriousin a friendship, but a relationship or a flirt has to be kept to a proper level with set boundaries. I can't do casual relationships, though ironically, I'm very afraid of commitment...

8 - Hm, I don't really have a type. Just tall men and women in general, I like it when they hover over me. I also love pathetic men and women lol (not in a literal sense, more like a comical sense. Someone who gets crinkled up like a tissue paper whenever they are in an unfamiliar situation or something like that)

9 - I'm laid back. I dont really show that I care about things until it gets late and I start thinking about it on my bed. I get emotional easily, especially anger is one of the easiest emotions to show for me. People say that I'm hard to read me and call me weird. Also if I really like something, I want all variations of it. Like a specific clothing piece, a particular brand of sketch books, etc. I value money a lot too. Though I can't do math at all.

10 - I love drawing, anime-style games, listening to different types of music and writing. I also knit sometimes.

11- I'm still a student, getting ready for an important exam soon lol. I have a cat, and I feed and pet countless others outside. I love aquariums, though I can't visit them because they are so far away. I despise alcohol because it stinks. I hate cigarettes too. I'm really good at hiding my irritation towards a person when they are present. I like gossiping a lot, though I never call people names if they haven't hurt me or my friends. I also like drawing a lot, and making up stories. I also tend to daydream a lot. And I can't live without the brief moments of time where i just sit down in front of my computer to watch movies after a long day.

12 - I love scenerios where I'm the one that does the comforting. I'm awkward around people who are upset. So being able to take care of someone when they are down is something I desparately want to do, yet I find myself at a loss of what to do. I love scenerios where I see my favorite character get snapped in two like a glowstick, yknow. If that isnt clear enough, I want to see heavy angst with this character. Could be anything. Death (could be the reader/character/anyone thats involved in the character's life), being wronged and extremely frustrated because of it, having their life-long ambitions fail, things like that.

1000 Follower Event Matchup #6

My event is now CLOSED, but I will be doing more events like these in the future. You can checkout the masterlist for this event here.

Note: Hello! Welcome to my blog :D, I'm glad you found me. I'm just noticing your Artem PFP now and (spoiler) I'm a little sad that I didn't pair you with him, I felt like he could be a little too serious at times, and that wouldn't be too compatible based on what you asked for. SO I'M SORRY. I HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY THIS MATCHUP :( <3. I think both of these guys will compliment you very well based on how you described yourself along with the more technical aspects like mbti and zodiac sign (though I never base my matchups solely on those bc they aren't always 100% accurate, they just give me a starting point). Anyway I hope you enjoy!

I match you with LUKE PEARCE and SIMEON

Runner-ups were Vyn and Mammon (didn’t choose them though, because I think even though they’re both loyal to no end, they wouldn’t be 100% clear about their feelings for you)

Luke:

Technical: Your INFP and ISFJ connection is pretty great. You both communicate perfectly together and get along well. There’s never any miscommunication with you both. You each bring out a part of each other that you couldn’t without each other, and you work well as a team in lifting each other up. However, you could easily tire each other out with high highs and low lows, so make sure you take reasonable breaks from each other. Once you lay out your differences and accept them, your relationship will go a lot smoother from there. As for you both being Saggitarius’ get ready for a life of adventure together. You will both want to travel the world and see and experience as much as possible together. And while being too invested in only having fun and not being more realistic, I think you both have qualities that level you down so you don’t get too carried away, which could bring problems in the relationship. But you both would balance fun and seriousness well. 

Personable: Luke is your perfect boy next door. He has all the qualities you’d ever want in a partner. He’s intelligent, adventurous, caring, loyal, honest, yet still humorous and he can be a realist I think. He would make you feel very secure in your relationship with him. You know he’ll never have eyes for anyone else and he buys you flowers and tells you how much he missed you when he comes back from work along with a hug and kiss. He makes it a habit to always greet you before leaving for work and when he comes back home. (if you live separately, then he calls or texts you every morning before work and does the same or tries to see you after he closes his shop for the day).

Luke would NEVER try and make you feel jealous. Even in the beginning before he knew you had feelings for him, he’d never try and get those feelings out by trying to make you feel jealous. He wouldn't want to hurt you if you did happen to have feelings for him. I’m not sure how tall you are, but Luke is pretty tall at 5’11 (180cm) so I think that’s a great height. MMM I think Luke also meets your ‘pathetic man’ requirement in that he’s a little awkward at the beginning of your relationship. So things like holding hands and kissing are still new to him and he’s never been in a real relationship before so he does get a little FNJEAFEA when thing like that happen in the beginning. But I think he’d always be partly a little blushy and shy around you even when he is 100% comfortable around you because he still can’t believe he’s with you!

I know Luke has a bad habit of lying to try to keep you safe, so he tries to show you his best self at all times and keeps you away from the dangerous part of his work, but he does this because he cares about you. I truly believe that over time in a romantic relationship with you, he’d learn to let you in more and let you see even the ugly parts of himself. So please be patient with him and speak your mind about how him hiding stuff makes you feel! That’ll encourage him to open up a little more, but be a little patient with him :3

He’s super supportive in terms of your studies and offers to help as much as he can if you need it! He’s very patient, but I don’t think he’d ever make you upset or anything serious like that. He respects any boundaries you put up and you'll have no issues with smoke or alcohol with him. He won’t drink or smoke, especially if you don’t like it, but I’m sure he doesn’t do those things anyway. You love aquariums? Well, Luke will definitely take you on many dates to one, even if it’s super far, you guys will make it into a day trip. As for your cat, he’ll love that cat as much as you do. Don’t be surprised if your cat goes to him for pets and cuddles first NFJEAFJKI. Overall, I think this relationship would blossom into something really healthy and beautiful. Just give it some time!

Comforting Luke After Someone Close to Him Passes Away

Warning: don’t read if you don’t like mentions of people passing away

I really think Luke is the type to not want to burden the people in his life with his emotions, so he tries to bottle his feelings up or isolate himself

So when he finds out that one of his older, loyal customers passes away before he gets a chance to see the antique Luke had repaired for him, Luke kinda shuts down

He closes the shop for a few weeks and tells his detective agency that he can’t go on any missions for a while. He’s just moping in bed and hasn’t called you very often

SO of course, you know something is up and so you let yourself into his apartment after walking through the store that was already starting to collect dust from being closed for a while

You open his apartment door with the spare key he made for you and see the mess inside his apartment as well

It’s dark and dusty, as if no one has been living in there for a while

You make your way to Luke’s bed, which he is lying in, and he doesn’t even flinch as you take a seat on his mattress at the end of his bed and poke him a bit

He knows you’re there, but he doesn't want you to see him in that state, so he stays facing the wall

So you just start talking; Luke had already told you about his customer passing away, but he brushed over the way it had made him feel when he texted you about it

You knew it would affect your soft-hearted boyfriend though, hence why you gave him his space to grieve, but you were now here to shake him out of his sadness before he rotted away

You get up from his bed and start tidying up for him; starting with opening the shades to let in some natural light, you get to dusting and cleaning up so at least Luke can be surrounded by cleanliness which might help him feel better

As you’re cleaning, Luke finally turns over and just watches you do your thing

Just seeing you there in his once dark, lonely apartment makes him feel a little better, but he still stays in bed, unmoving

He just needs times and some more talking from you to get back into his normal groove

Make him some dinner or order take-out, it doesn’t matter, just get this man eating quickly because we all know he probably has only been munching on whatever he could find in his apartment since he can’t cook

Only when he smells the food will he finally get up from his bed and join you at his small dining table, made for two

He becomes a little more verbal, talking about his memories of fixing thing for the old man who he grown fond of, as if he was his own grandfather

He holds your hand across the table the whole time he’s talking

Just let him talk everything out and be there to support him in the way you do best

Eventually he’ll rise from his slump and be back to his usual self, but in the meantime he just needs you to be there for him

Simeon:

Technical: Your INTP and ENFJ pairing with SImeon is interesting because you both don’t fully understand each other, but that seems to be what attracts you both to each other. Your relationship his very romantic and full of surprises (the good kind). Communication is great as well, there may be things you don’t both agree with, but you easily adapt and get used to the way you both think. This leads to expanding your perspectives together. You are a Saggitarius and Simeon is an Aquarius, together you make an ideal pair. His love for humanity and community can be a beautiful contrast to Saggitarius’ who usually seek for truth and knowledge. Together you’re unstoppable and compliment each other beautifully. 

Personable: Again, Simeon is very loyal, of course and super kind. He would never lead you on and makes sure you know how he feels about you all the time. As the extrovert in the relationship, he probably approached you first and stated clearly that he liked you and wanted to be together with you, so nothing will change that. As someone who is very calm, Simeon would be great at keeping your emotions leveled. You’ll never get very angry at him, but if there is ever a moment where you are angry, he’d know how to calm you down quickly without making matters worse. He’s very passionate about his love for you, so he’s super touchy and affectionate with you at all times. However, if this does become overwhelming for you, he has no problem with respecting your boundaries, just let him know.

Simeon is very tall at like 6’3 I think (190.5cm?) so he would definitely loom over you unless you’re taller than that. As a writer, he’d probably come to you with his latest book (uh spoiler if you’re not up to the part where they reveal that Simeon is the author of this series) for TSL. He respects your opinion so he would love to know how you feel about the direction the series is going in. AND he'd love to read any of your own writing as well if you'd like to share it with him. I see him wanting to be tech-y and play video games with you, even though he’s horrible at using technology and can’t text to save his life, but he’ll try for you! 

Loves your cat a lot! Even though he’s not part of the cat squad like Solomon, Satan, or Barbatos, he definitely loves all creatures. Therefore, he would enjoy going to aquariums as well and will travel to the human world so he can go to one with you. He understands you commitment issues and he’s fine with that. He’ll take your relationship as slowly as possible, and if you ever have any insecurities, he wipes those all away with his words and actions of love. He wants you to know that he’ll never make you uncomfortable or betray you. He’s all yours and you’re the only one he’ll ever want. He learns to read your body language so he can become an expert at all things about you, including your ‘hard to read’ demeanor. In no time he’ll be able to tell what you’re thinking by the smallest of actions or words. Most attentive boyfriend ever, 10/10 great relationship full of respect and love.

Comforting Simeon

I think Simeon is more open about his emotions, so when the cafe he tried to open up in the human world wasn’t going so well, he went straight to you about it

After all, he respects you so much and he’ll take any advice you give him to heart

He’s very broken, since he wanted to make a life for himself in the human world so he could be around you more often, but things were not going as planned

He wasn’t getting any customers, and in no time he’d have to close his business (ofc he’s against using any angel charm to try and get new customers. He wants an honest business, as an honest man)

I can’t imagine him being sad for long though, he’s very positive and happy all of the time, and deals with issues like these fairly well because he can see the bright side of things

So there isn’t much comforting you need to do

All he needs to know is that you believe in him and know that his business will be a success one day

And boom, he’s feeling more hopeful already

He probably invites you over to his cafe and asks for your help in decorating or any other ideas that you think might help him gain business

The only time I see him ever really going full dark angel mode is if anyone ever hurt you or if you passed away

I don’t know how he would react, but I know it wouldn’t be so easy to resolve as his cafe issues

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 9/25/2022

[gwaaaaar]

I posted 5,713 times in 2022

102 posts created (2%)

5,611 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@choco-myth

@beth-bethar00

@boronal

@willowfoxthefox

sean-gaffney

I tagged 441 of my posts in 2022

#mazm - 31 posts

#vatican miracle examiner - 20 posts

#vatican kiseki chousakan - 16 posts

#mazm thy creature - 12 posts

#identity v - 11 posts

#mazm hyde and seek - 9 posts

#mazm phantom of the opera - 7 posts

#baccano! - 7 posts

#baccano - 7 posts

#ganji gupta - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#reminds me of that one meme you made where its like this edible aint shit and its a pic of light music club cater saying i always wanted to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok hear me out, Ganji and Mike accidentally crash into each other during a match or something and they drop their Red balls. They scramble to pick what they assume are their own items but we cut to Mike trying to flip over a rail and the ball bounces back and hits him square in the face, he's out like a light. Now zooming over to ganji he's taking aim then BOOM! his bats on fire, Ganji is now chasing the hunter with a flaming glorified stick,ganji is now banned from Duos

Holy shit yes oh my god 😭😭😭😭. Clusmy anime girls with toast in their mouth except, threats to the hunter that dropped their balls.

30 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#4

Raoul de Chagny (Mazm one maybe idk) is such a sigma male but also an L bozo. Mans literally cannot get manipulated by erik bc hes too stupid but at the same time he goes into eriks box to assert dominance only to pass out like an idiot. And the scene in the forest where he HAD A CELAR SHOT AT ERIK AND MISSED. L bozo.

32 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#3

Having finished Hyde and Seek like 3 days after release here are some of my thoughts. There's gonna be some stuff implied so read with caution, i wont say outright but ill talk abt the implications. Sorry most of this is Alan rambling I have brainworms and I'm ill.

-Alan is literally my malewife. Love at first sight, if Noah is my little meanwhore Alan is my malewife. I love their big boobs.

-Pollie>Sally. My heart dropped when Alan tried to ask Sally out like out of all people, Sally? Good news though hes single by the end.

-Pollie is literally that one tumblr post where its like let women be pathetic little meow meows too. She is the definition of a pathetic meow meow and i love her for that.

See the full post

45 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

LOLIROCK IS OUT FOR MY BLOOD WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM M SHAPED LIPS WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS THEY DID THIS ON PURPOSE HWGWJAGEJAHEHNSGEJSJSGZ

93 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Alright so ive been seeing this going around, the lack of paint on Sam in ENG . I dont want to start shit though, im saying this as a disclaimer. And i want to say this as controversial as it may be: it was for the best probably.

Voodoo has a history of being portrayed as dark magic which is horrible. Voodoo is a religion not satanic not dark magic. It is as much of a religon as Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, etc. Respect it. I like the bone paint too, it looked cool, but clearly its more cultural appropriation rather than appreciation on Sam (voodoo practicers if you can please tell me if ive said something wrong).

"Cancel culture" isnt just an "sjw" thing, its used to talk about problems. Saying "twst shouldve just stayed in jp" bc of the problematic aspect isnt good. We have to address problematic issues with culture and racism. Twst has racist aspects you cannot deny that. It doesnt mean you cant enjoy twst at all, but stay openminded and listen to minorities when they speak. Cultures arent "aesthetics" :/

284 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

welp, isnt that a doozy

[twildflower]

Just read a fic with “I wanted to do this” this sentence in it and i want to kms so bad expand to read a semi-long stupidly funny story. Theres poorly written sex in this for explaining reasons

Before this starts i have to hightlight the fact that my mother tongue is not english nor did we have english as first language to learn at the place i used to live, i just had english classes aside from kindergarten when i was around 1-ish(??) so i had better English compared to my classmates, and that *;i did not go to elementary school and went to something called primary school that had 6 years before going to middle school which had another 6 years before i can go to college.*; TLDR i moved around the numbers of the years into more understandable years for english readers. I dont know how good elementary kids write here but back at where i lived they would trip over and die on a pebble because most kids cant even write 100 words without using 1+ hour and 835284 grammar mistakes and wrong words and such. At least until senior years in elementary. My old ‘friend’ introduced me to wattpad, i didnt know it existed until she told me. Okay this explanation is too long.

When i was in elementary i used to write fics on wattpad for like. 2-3 years and bc i went back to look at them after a year/every now and then (when i still had the app) i tried editing everything to make the old cringe ass fics to look better, but it only made me remember how much cringe i wrote and it wasn’t even that much better (no shit dude how much was i going to improve in a 2 year period. In elementary might i fucking add.) . Now i have certain sentences i see and i cringe so hard because it reminds me of what i wrote before and its such a hidden core memory i didnt think of it until i read a fic that had “i wanted to do this” in it and i internally died that second i saw it actually. Its not even the fic it’s literally just this single sentence that i wrote in my very old fic that made me cringe the fuck out. If you read to here might as well spill the tea and ball bc HEY did you know? I read fucking smut in elementary! Woooaaa!!! Unrestricted internet access!!!! Cheers to that fr!!! That fucked me in the ass bc it made me write a sex scene that was just

(Im going to fucking cry i dont want to write this out again but this only exists very vividly in my memory and this chapter in my story thats published (maybe I deleted the whole story I honestly don’t remember I’ll check later) is deleted bc I realized its so cringe some time later i don’t remember when. So literally you just have to take my word for it. Plus i was not going to expose my old account. And this would. Be funny joke material if you ignor ethe fact that i wrote this in elementary. It was probably like, 5 years before hs.)

-protag boy and girl meet up with their friends

-boy drags the girl back her house and leave their friends alone

-girl asks boy whats happening

-boy literally just says “to do this” (or something along the lines of that) and instantly took off all his clothes (i was writing it more like those clothes fell off when he took them off idk wtf was happening), implying he wanted to have sex

-girl blushes and clothes also get taken off by boy in an instant (holy shit its so cringe the memory of it gets more vivid the more I remember abt it)

-the only words the girl says is “ah” “Ah” “aH” and “AH” progressively between single sentences of breifly writing the boy going faster(???)

Then they fucking explode i don’t remember what happened next i think they just came and i cut off the story. Or someone walked in on them idk what.

I hope this amount of cringe makes you think at least you weren’t me and didnt try to write a sex scene at 9-10 years old. I dont know how i came up with this. Just gotta love unrestricted internet access amiright? I never wrote any sex scenes after then bc this gave me very bad trauma. Laughs in pathetic. Anywho, i still have other very cringe stories but nothing can top this. I might post another one of my cringe writings but im going back to sleep bruh i woke up in the middle of the night bc my stomach hurts. Then spent 1< hours writing this lmaooo

[stardust-sunset]

vent ig

tbh i’m just…so tired

i have finals and other tests that literally my area of the country takes because god forbid ANYTHING can be easy for more than like two days for me

and yes, if you bothered to read my messages, i exited the furry community. yay.

and at school everything is fucking miserable because between tests and quizzes and everything along those lines i get the wonderful privilege of being posted about on social media without my consent and then i get to listen to the same girls who were posting. about me talking shit about me in our shared room during a field trip for band, saying i should kill myself, that i should go die and that i have anger issues and jealousy problems and it’s just so fucking annoying

and im too afraid to post vents on here now because i just don’t feel safe anywhere. i don’t feel like i can filter my feelings anymore and i know that something is going to become of this and i don’t WANT that. i don’t.

and then i just make innocent fanart and fanfic and i get harassed for it? are you fucking kidding me?! like seriously. I’ve said it once and i will say it again. IF YOU DONT LIKE WHAT I POST, DONT INTERACT! You have NO fucking right to harass me. I don’t give two shits if you think im cringe or whatever, and if you can’t even confront me without masking as anonymous? that’s fucking pathetic. To whomever sent me those asks, either shut the fuck up or tell me who you actually are so i can block and report you. i don’t give two shits about your opinions, so you can leave me be.

and now on top of that, my dog is sick again. Again. I did everything i could and she just…keeps getting worse. i can’t lose her. she’s been my best friend since i was four years old and i know she’s getting old, but…fuck…i don’t even know anymore

and now that summers coming i promised myself i would work out and such now that i have time and i’ve been weightlifting when i can, and now that finals are coming up and i can’t do that anymore and i have a tendency to either not eat at all when i’m stressed or stress eat, and the latter has been more apparent and now i just…feel fucking fat again…and i have a vision in mind for what i want, i’m gonna work out and fix my bad habits, but it all just…seems hopeless…i’m fat and i know it bad i’ve been covering it with sweaters and stuff and my mental health is taking a toll from all of it and i just…i don’t know anymore…everything’s miserable…

thing is, would anyone even care? would anyone know? i’ve lost the majority of my friends and i’m terrified. my parents are gonna kill me if i don’t get all high nineties on my report card. I’m trying to get into wake forest, which is about a 25% acceptance rate and is also where a family member went. i know if i don’t get in, they’re gonna be so fucking disappointed…i can’t do that to my family. i can’t be a dumb disappointment. i can’t be.

and just…i’m so angry and i’m so upset right now and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong because i just…nothings working out anymore. i’ve had so many breakdowns in the last week and i feel sick. i know i’m gonna fail one of them and i’m terrified of what my parents will do. i can’t dip below what’s seen as good in their eyes. i finally got into honors math after i worked my tail off for three years to get there and the first thing they do is yell at my brother and brag about me. i hate that. and if i end up getting kicked out of that..? they’re gonna be so fuxking disappointed in me. and i’m scared.

i’m scared and i don’t know what to do

i just wanna feel loved or something

i love my family. i really, really love my family and i would take a bullet for them, but i’m just…i’m terrified of them sometimes

i wanna feel loved and just…appreciated for once. like someone actually fucking needs me. like someone would actually like…i dunno..care.

i’m desperate. i’m latheryic. i’m alone and i know that. i just feel like shit

and i don’t know what to do.

[arsynicwriter]

A bunch of prompts

I cant add a break, I'm on mobile, someone help- anyways, there are prompts containing smut and abuse after the possessive ones, you dont have to read it if you don't want. Also, send in a number and I'll write a short drabble, les go.

Fluffy

"Aww, you've got a milk mustache"

"Did you cut your hair? It's so fluffy and cute!"

"Can you help me with this? I keep messing up"

"You should sing the other person's part, this is a duet after all"

"Why do you wear such big clothes, it's too adorable, you possess too much power"

"Ya know what? You're a pillow now"

"If you don't wake up I'll start tickling"

"We should go look at stars!"

"Were you always so cute?"

"You have ice cream on your nose"

Angsty

"You said you would stay safe! Getting shot isn't staying safe!"

"You weren't supposed to hurt (him/her/them)! Just me! I deserved it more!"

"Why is it so hard for you to love yourself?"

"Please, taking this will help you, I promise" || "You never keep promises"

"No, no no no, you can't die yet!"

"I still need you! Don't walk away, please!"

"(He's/she's/they're/etc) a traitor. A liar. A cheater. Obviously this never meant anything to (him/her/them/etc)."

"Why did you leave..? Why did you leave?! Answer me, dammit!"

"What's wrong with me..?"

"When the sun comes up, we won't have any memories of each other. Say what you want now"

Crackhead energy

"Dude why the fuck are you covered in cake"

"No, hey, get off the table!"

"Wanna see how many fruit snacks in my mouth?"

"Wait, stay like that, I'm gonna make you into a meme"

"Do you think I can do a backflip off the bed?"

"Splash me with water again and I'll get the water guns!"

"Each time you say my name I think 'Oh god not (him/her/them/etc) again.'"

"Babe, you remind me of candy. You're always so sticky"

"Ew, no, don't kiss me! You're covered in paint!"

"I love you but please, stop pouring glue all over my hand."

Scary

"You heard that, right?"

"It's too dark, we can't go in!"

"There's something big here, we need to go!"

"I don't like this..."

"Stop it, it's gonna hear us!"

"Can you please be quieter, I don't want to wake...whatever it is."

"I thought those batteries were new, they're already dead?"

"If you're over there, what's holding my hand?"

"Did you see that?!"

"That thing is going to kill us!"

Comfort

"Hey, hey, shhh. It's okay now."

"Look, we're safe, okay?"

"I know it hurts, but I'm trying to be gentle"

"Did you have a nightmare? Come here.."

"Shh, shh, no more crying.."

"Do you wanna talk about why you're sad?"

"Don't worry any more, I've got you."

"Look, see? Just a small scratch."

"I think you're (beautiful/handsome/etc)"

"I still love you, okay?"

Whump

"Nobody is going to save you."

"Don't even think about trying to escape!"

"You're crying? Seriously? Pathetic."

"You really think (he's/she's/they're/etc.) going to save you?"

"You're trapped. Stop trying to escape."

"Look, the more noise you make, the more I'm going to hurt you."

"If you don't start listening, I'm going to hurt (him/her/them/etc)!"

"You're so gullible, thinking I'd let you go!"

"For that, don't even think about food today."

"By hurting them, I'm hurting you. It's a win win!"

Possessive

"You're mine."

"I don't want you talking to (him/her/them/etc), you know (he/she/they/etc.) like(s) you."

"Why don't we stay home today? Just us. I don't want anybody else seeing your beautiful face"

"This (girl/guy/person/etc) that used to bully me went missing, do you know about it?"

"You're mine. I put my name on you to prove it!"

"If anybody else tries to flirt with you, there'll be hell to pay."

"Please, I need you. You don't understand."

"(Him/Her/Them/etc)? (He's/She's/They're/etc.) not even worth a thought!"

"You're my property, and I'm not letting (him/her/them/etc) steal you away."

"I love you more than anything.”

NSFW

"Fuck, you look so hot tonight."

"I need you to be quiet for me, okay?"

"Please, please, no more teasing, (title).."

"Hey, we're in public."

"You are so cute when you beg for me like that.."

"Do you want me?"

"If you want more, beg for it my baby."

"Aww, you're wearing this just for me?"

"Lovely, will you be my good (boy/girl/person/etc)?"

"Bad (boys/girls/people/etc) don't get rewarded."

[viriditydarling]

Rdr2 Arthur Morgan onehsot

~Vulgar

~Tw: Micah grabbing reader, swearing, violence

Backstory: you are in a relationship with Arthur around 2-3 months however Micah has other plans and thinks that he deserves you.

Arthur morgan

"Y/N L/N there is no time to be sitting around pretending too be in fairy tales" Mrs Grimshaw just about huffed out of her sour mouth while dragging Uncle by the ear too go make him wash in the lake.

"Yes Susan" you whispered back not expecting her too hear she turned around giving you a fierce look you could of sworn she shapeshifyed into some sort of demon for a second, you gave a sheepish laugh and looked back too the journal you was reading. It was one of Arthurs old journals, Arthur went through quite alot writing his days away and you loved to read them, how he would write about himself falling in love with you was such a pure treasure to keep. How they would be full detailed drawings of you feeding your horse too little sketches of your eyes,lips,hands,hair etc, you especially loved to read them when you was away from him earning for his tender love. "You are such a darn cowpoke you know that" a voice snarled. You look up to see a greasy Micah bell hovering over you immediately you shut the journal and stand up dusting off your dress "Mr Bell what do you want?" You questioned while observing his bloody shoulders and hands with a thick breath smelling of liquor stinging your nose,what a vulgar man you think too yourself your face turning sour from the smell."I want you doll" he slurred out with a slimy grin. You rolled your eyes and Gave him a nudge which made him stumble back into the nearby tree already enough with the day you began to walk off Arthur's journal tight in your hand ready to get some shut eye. "That was a wrong move you made there woman" he breathed into your ear, his hands squeezing your wrists digging in his filthy ragged fingernails making you drop the journal."How dare you micah bell get your grotesque hands off me" you growled spitting in his face and violently shaking your wrists. "Your a wild one arent ya, Arthur fucking Morgan gets all the fun dosent he when he's USELESS UGLY BASTARD i can show you what a real man is" he growled backing you against the tree stepping on the journal, the drawing of you making flower crowns with jack at the lake."DONT YOU DARE CALL HIM THAT YOU INBRED PIG" you howled.

"Don't fucking move" a deep voice spat. You look up too see Micah's hands up in the air leaving your wrists bloody a Springfield rifle too the back of his head it was Arthur Morgan your lover. Arthur pulled you from under Micah's presence too his own warm and strong embrace, the smell of whiskey and campfire engulfed you as you was there snuggled into Arthur's blue gunslinger coat. "It's okay darlin go to the tent go on woman" Arthur whispered in your ear peppering sweet kisses on your forehead your cheeks, jawline and lips. You tried too protest but the look in Arthur's eyes now was something you have never seen before more than anger and rage just pure darkness pure hate pure disgust that you even feared for Micah a little,you kissed Arthur on the cheek and picked up the remaining scraps of the journal and hurried too the tent.

"Hey black lu-" Micah was cut off by two strong rough hands wrapped around his throat. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER MICAH" Arthur shouted at the shaking man underneath him while squeezing his neck tighter and tighter not caring about Dutch's rules right now. "I just showed her what a real man is" Micah just about whispered a few drops of blood dripping down his chin, Arthur then pushed the man on to the ground and started throwing punches aiming for his temples and his nose punch after punch until his hands bled and micah was wheezing on the floor like a pathetic coward. "Talk about my darlin again and ille skin ya alive Micah bell" Arthur huffed and proceeded too kick him in the stomach "HOW" kick "DARE" kick "YOU", Arthur spat at him leaving him bloody from head to toe whimpering.

You saw the flap of the tent lift and saw Arthur his hands all bruised and pure rage on his face he glanced over at you lying on the cot and immediately it all washed away, he sat down beside you and took of his hat too started rubbing your thigh "Your not leaving my sight ever again" he whispered into your ear. You then took his hands in your lap and started apologizing about Micah and the journal "Shhhshh" Arthur cut you off placing a finger on your lip, he then took your bloody and bruised wrists you could see him trying too hold himself together from going to finish him off, he kissed them and he wiped away the blood and dirt with some rag and alcohol he bandaged them and placed your hands on his heart. " Im sorry y/n i shudda been there quicker y'know I don't blame you if you listen to Micah he's right" he released with a sigh full of guilt his heart hurt knowing you got hurt it felt like someone stabbing him repeatedly in the heart with no mercy. You then cupped your hands around his cheeks and brought him into a sweet gentle kiss causing him to blush and instinctively he wrapped his hands around your waist "don't you dare listen to Micah Bell he's just a vulgar man, I know you think bad of your self Arthur but I need you to know that you have made me the happiest girl in the world from just being in your presence I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else my love" you rambled on not noticing Arthur continuenley saying I love you for the first time "I-i love you Y/n with all of my heart I didn't think I had".

"I love you too Arthur" 🤍

꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡♡˖꒰ᵕ

Hello my love, thank you so so much for reading I can't wait to share more of my stories with you guys everyone requests are welcome , I love you <3