icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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sneepy cozy time....
#cats#longing to one day hopefully feel sleepy cozy like this again...#There was a pretty cool week here so I thought we had progressed closer to cool fall weather but... NO#..wrong!! It's like 80F in my room right now and was 98F outside yesterday. We get two more 'cooler' days and then#it starts going up again and will be in the high 90s possibly 100 something later this week#in my mind september should be COOOOOLLLL!!!!! or at least STARTING to get there.. Like mid 80s at the highest.#I am going to explode the world with evil wizard powers aaRGHaaHHHHHHHH#OR at least it should get down really low at night. I think thats the main thing is if it's 95 in the day and only 62 for like 3 hours in#the middle of the night then even leaving a fan in windows all night is not enough to fully cool down the house because its just not#enough cold air or cool for long enough. If it were 98 in the day but 15F outside at night then you could probably bring cool air inside al#night and your house would be at a relatively low starting point for the next days heat.#Like for example - in my apartment on a hot and sunny day. Even with every window#closed and blocked off with thick layers of reflective stuff and also not using the stove or doing anything to generate heat - the apartmen#will still go up on average about 6 - 8 degrees in one day. Peaking around 8 - 10pm night time. If I start off with the house cooled down#to 60F. then the highest it would get is 66 - 68 which is tolerable#.But if the lowest I can cool the apartment all night is still only 75F#then it's going to be 81 - 83F by the end of the day. So really it would be bearable (ISH)#for it to be warm as long as it was colder at night.#Though still the IDEAL is to not have to structure my life around envrionmental management and constantly be checking the#outdoor temperature so I can put the fans in the second that it's colder outside than it is inside and putting elaborate curtain systems#up and down at the exact right times and meal prepping 4 days in advance so I dont have to use the stove for 3 days and blah blah blah#Life in the colder weather months is so effortless and breezy in that sense. I can just have the window open all day and get natural light.#I can cook whatever I want. I can wear what I like. I can move around the house freely without needing to always#carry a fan around with me or douse myself in water.#ANYWAY.... oh if only that were me.... snuggled in a warm blanket ... a comforting wintery image...
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so-very-small · 1 year ago
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to all my fellow tinies
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get the FUCK inside
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mira0000000-blog · 1 month ago
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Touched blender again yey
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sunsetcorvid · 1 year ago
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look. fnaf has been a special interest of mine since it first came out but it has done irreparable damage to the animatronic community.
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catfish-and-the · 5 months ago
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van mccann was so real when he said 🎶 youve gotten lazy 🎶 (go ahead girl frustrate me) bc i have gotten lazy and it frustrates me too
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graff-aganda · 1 year ago
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I'm all for my fellow merch makers making whatever decisions they want with what they produce. But I wish it were more widely known that a clear epoxy coat over acrylic pins and charms will yellow over time. ;;
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foxmulderautism · 2 years ago
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this post really is the blueprint for RR felix vs lover boy felix 
#literally RR felix is like an annoying piece of shit at first because he thinks hes got his life under control#and then he realises he doesnt and hes like omg everything is falling apart nothing matters let me get hedonistic and silly with it#then hes like wait no i want my life to be okay i want to be a good person :(#ASTRONIMIC crisis over that because he thinks hes gone past a line#(so much of RR thematically is feeling like you're a 'lost cause' bc of childhood trauma hehe)#and then lover boy felix is like oh i made positive progress with myself#but its just made me feel fragile because i feel like i have more to lose#mfs with trauma will finally reach a sense of peace in their life and its the opposite of peace because it makes them so scared#but its still funny because RR felix is like doing cocaine in the bathtub on a wednesday afternoon#lover boy felix works at a kindergarten and is probably well hydrated#i dont think he realises how much progress he's made and when he does that's when he gets scared#especially because now hes more intentionally unpacking his trauma which is a lot#but like instead of fucking people and fighting people and breaking into houses to cope he like gets a caramel frappe and has a cry#LMAO#because he's like one wrong move and ill go back to how i was and ruin everything (which he does almost do exactly that BUT)#he will return to being messy at some point though....gotta have him falter which will scare him so much#also has a mild gender crisis between all of this too#that's my infodump on tumblr of the day so many thoughts in my head that i cant do anything with#thats really cool dallon have you been evaluated for autism#lover boy is like the normal spongebob of my wips because its tragic and emotional#but the characters dont feel like theyre basically or literally fighting for their lives every day LOL#it's refreshing i cant lie
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vaugarde · 1 year ago
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Oh my god Latios saying he'll go through Pitfall Valley wandering for the rest of his life because he thinks that's going to be Latias's fate regardless and "two is better than one"... oh my god
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#bleh brian is not working. too much static#can't focus. i should sleep bc i gotta meet my boss at 8#but things i will also do tomorrow: call my fucking insurance to figure out how to use it#bc i have weird out of state insurance from my mum so like idk. but i gotta do it bc im gonna try to get an appointment with a psychiatrist#bc my brain needs psychiatric attention lol#but also the lab mate i went sampling with today recently got diagnosed with adhd and gave me the name of the plsce#and i was like tell me what ur symptoms r like. and like if i have adhd it would b the plot twist of my life#but also i have horrible horrible executive dysfunction issues and related to a lotta what she said so idk#its just that i guess adhd has always been framed around not being able to meet deadlines in school and stuff#and im like nah im good at meeting deadlines. im horriblly anxious and compulsive so i dont forget or miss deadlines or dates#but my apartment and life out of school are in shambles bc i just originated around one draining focus#and i just lay in bed and cry bc i cant clean my fucking apartment and my sink is becoming obstructed by clothes that for some reason i#cant move? like fucking i dont kno. i tend to associate my broken brain stuff to dyslexia#bc when i was tested they were like lol ur short term memory is fucking awful. very below average lmao#so i was like oh my brain is not wired right. cool. but i dunno. i just need someone to assess my brain and tell me what's wrong with it#like i dunno im still doubtful of adhd as the source but its at least more convincingly on my radar. i will doubt until i have a diagnosis#in hand lol. but gotta find psychiatrist 1st. so gotta call tomorrow#it will happen. i will make it happen#unless the day goes off thr rails lol#unrelated
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thepictoblr · 5 months ago
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You know whats great about having 2 adult brothers who are capable of doing housework when you're unwell? They wont do it
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maybe-we · 7 months ago
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yesterday was so chill. today m fuckin struggling
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29121996 · 7 months ago
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.
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talkorsomething · 7 months ago
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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i-did-your-mother · 1 year ago
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help me i am getting too into going to the gym
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tinylittlebab · 2 years ago
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ill be skinny and dying and ill look beautiful and people will like me it has to happen or id rather die
whats the point of being lonely and in pain all the time and then having to get a job and hate doing that if i have no friends and hate myself. the one thing that keeps me wanting to live wont be good enough once u have to work and in that case id rather just die
:(
#i just. i dont want most of my immediate family aware of this. ive spiraled a little bit i guess. i wanna be hospitalized haha. like a lot#thats the goal now i guess. 85 pounds and then if its not good enough i just keep going lower untill its worse#but i guess if im hospitalized my immediate family will HAVE to get involved. i just dont wamt my younger siblings aware of it.#i wanna make myself so sick. i want the people who always looked at me when i was little and hated how shy i was and said i was too small#tohear about giw im in the hospital and think oh thats just terrible#its like. i dont even know anyone who will look at me thinner and think its a good thing. everyone i know already knows about my ed#and they all already think u should eat more. i do wish i knew someone who would think me being skinnier was good#i want someone who will feel me get bonier and think whoah thats neat. think its cool they can wrap their hands around my wrists#well. my wrists are very tiny anyway because my hands are really small. my family just has really tiny hands#people dont notice mine much because they are proportional to my arms (they notice my siblings though bc they are bigger than me)#but whenever someone actually holds my hands or hands me something a looks they realize oh my god why are your hands so small#like. the bones themselves are small. been told i have baby hands. mine are way smaller than my siblings though bc im underweight#hmm. i always felt horrible for this but i used to be so internally proud of the fact i was slinnier than my 8yo sister#like. she is a normal sized kid. average weight and height. and it feels validating to be smaller than that. like i actually AM tiny#my only friend is fat which is obviously fine and nothing wrong with it but it means i have no comparison. she is much bigger than most#people so i cant think oh im way smaller than her im doing great bc like. that could mean im just average sized. but that i can look at my#sister who is normal sized for someone 8 years younger than me and is also i young kid and see im thinner so i must be doing well#well. one day ill move past that and look pike i could juat die right there bc im so small#so tiny that i look so frail and easy to break
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strrykais · 1 month ago
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sooooo is the threesome with jeno happening or????
https://www.tumblr.com/strrykais/762157555571097600/1-800-hot-n-fun-na-jaemin
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pairing: boyfriends!bestfriend!jeno x afab!fem (ft. bf!jaemin)
words: 0.9k
summary: its kind of a continuation of 1-800-hot-n-fun.. we get our threesome 🤤 pt .3 requested
genre: smut
warnings: oral (fem receiving), infidelity (not really?), indications of a threesome, first time writing smut so like don’t put me on a stake please, #mightkmsbenice #call911becausewewererobbed
nct dream masterlist
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jeno couldn’t help his wandering eyes. it's like you purposely wore short pajama shorts and no bra. and it's not his fault that he would sometimes forget to turn down the ac in the hot nights to see the sweat glisten off your skin. he knows you and jaemin know he likes to look, and at times he feels like you both purposely mess with him.
jeno loves his roommate and his best friend, so of course he would never jeopardize their friendship to mess around with you. it would be wrong, so wrong but when you cornered him in his room, with your little skirt and top jeno felt all self control vanish. 
“i- i dont think jaemin would like this.” jeno stammers, as your fingers lightly travel up his chest settling on the back of his neck playing with his hair he decided to grow out.
“what jaem doesn’t know won’t hurt him. plus he would want this. me and you that is. i know you do. i see the way you look at me, jeno.” your soft voice causing jeno to groan. 
jeno could feel his pants tighten, you being this close was messing with his mind. your sweet perfume clogging up his senses, so much that he places his hand on your waist pulling you into him fully.
the tension in the room was so thick as you both continued to stare at each other. you smiled, crashing your lips on his, you knew he wouldn’t make the first move. his kiss was hesitant at first until you let out a little moan, something in that moan unlocked something in him. jeno pushes himself into you wanting to cause some relief in his pants. jeno’s mind was swirling with the way your hands roamed his body and the way your tongue licked all in his mouth, and deep deep deep in there was some guilt that he was making out with his best friend's girlfriend.
you both walk to the corner of his room where his bed sits, pushing jeno onto bed, watching as his hair falls prettily on his face, you smirk. 
“you know, ever since i first saw you, i wanted to sit on that pretty nose. can i?” your sultry voice, hypnotizing jeno. mouth stammering, no words able to come out, jeno was truly shocked he could not believe this was happening. he should say no, he should really say no to this. but your pretty eyes wanted him so badly, and the way you licked your plump lips. jeno nodded, breathing out a ‘please’ as he laid back slowly dragging you onto him.
you shuffle up slowly, knees on either side of his head, lifting your skirt to see his eyes glued to the wet spot on your panties. 
“jeno baby, in order for this to work you gotta use your mouth.” you say playing with his hair as it lays out like a halo around him.
“right right.” jeno reaches out pulling your panties to the side, the cool air hitting making you moan out softly. your moans sound so much better now that they aren't muffled between the shared wall he and jaemin share. 
you feel jeno lick a long stride of your pussy, gathering up all your juices before he whispers a ‘sorry’. so immersed in the feeling you don’t even register his words until you hear the ripping of the fabric, before you could see what was happening down there, jeno firmly grabs your hips pulling you down to fully sit on him. jeno sucks harshly on your clit, using his hands to get you to start grinding on his mouth. you gather your senses, hand wrapped in his hair letting out various moans, not hearing the front door open and your name softly being called out.
when jaemin came back he did not expect to see his girlfriend riding his best friend's face like that. jaemin continues to watch your facial expressions, the way your mouth was shaped in a pretty ‘o’. your eyebrows furrowed together, and the moans escaping your mouth getting louder and louder. using this time he walks in gripping your face in his hand. your eyes are flying open, stopping your movement on jeno. jeno, not knowing what is happening, continues to penetrate your hole with his tongue. trying not to make a noise, you bite your lips glancing up at him only for jaemin to speak out.
“no baby keep going, you know i like hearing your pretty voice.” you moan out to that only for jeno to pause trying to lift you off of him. jaemin quickly puts his hands over jeno’s, pushing you back and grinding you against him.
“i thought we said we would wait till i get home to play with him? i thought we agreed, baby.” jaemin says placing kisses all over your face, letting his hands go off jeno's when he realizes that jeno is back to eating you out after he heard jaemins reaction. “such a bad girl not keeping your promises. guess jeno and i are gonna have to teach you a lesson." jaemin says, pulling his shirt over himself, his beautiful grin taking over his face.
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