#dont get used to this pace i usually do these every few months

[helpfulbug]

bc u all liked the first gintama colouring sm (tbh i wanna use this as my header this was a self serving project)

bonus colour where it actually looks like something just exploded

[propertyofwicked]

YOUR NECKLACE - LN

no warnings just fluff + some SMAU <3 (one mention of sick, no specific detail)

-> lemme know ur thoughts! my inbox is open!! <3

masterlist the playlist

after successfully keeping their relationship secret for 9 months, lando truly believed it was time for him to properly introduce his girlfriend to the world of motorsport. she’d attended races before but always under general admission, usually alone, but sometimes accompanied by the likes of max and p. and it wasn’t as if the fans didn’t know who she was, they just knew her as ‘y/n who works with quadrant’, ‘y/n that reset the cones in the driving video’, ‘y/n that keeps her social media private’ - never once being considered lando’s girlfriend, which worked well for the two.

the panic had set in that morning as she dressed for the day, her hands constantly running over her outfit, checking the way she looked in the mirror from every angle - she wanted to believe that no one would care, or even notice that she was there, but deep down she knew that making the jump from general admission to paddock would gain some chatter on twitter.

“you look perfect,” lando had whispered in her ear from behind her, his hands wrapping around her waist as he tugged her away from the mirror.

“maybe they’ll just think im helping with a quadrant project,” she said absentmindedly, more trying to convince herself than actually respond to him.

“maybe,” he nodded along with her, mulling over his next words, “we can walk in separately if you want? they might not assume anything if they don’t see us together?”

“it’s not that i dont want us to be seen together,” she told him as she moved to the floor, tying her shoelaces up, “i just hate to think what’ll be said about me if they do.”

“i know, angel,” he reassured her, offering out a hand to pull her up, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead when she returned to his level.

the journey to the track was a quiet one, the two of them engaging in light conversation, eventually deciding they’d just walk in together, keep PDA to the minimum and ‘run and hide at the first sign of trouble’ y/n had joked.

lando paced up and down his drivers room, the sleeves of his racing overalls swinging with every step, from where they sat around his hips. he was getting into the right mindset, music playing, and yet his mind raced with every fear of the looming race.

“sit in the garage,” he asked her, halting his pacing to turn and face her.

“what?” she replied, half unsure she’d misheard him.

“watch from the garage - please,” he repeated moving to take steps towards her, noticing the way her fingers twisted at the rings that adorned them.

“are you sure?” she checked, as he grabbed her wrists to stop her anxious fiddling.

“never been more sure in my life,” he told her, using her arms to pull himself closer, joining the two of them in a sweet kiss.

“ok, ill be there,” y/n responded against him, parting only for a moment before connecting their lips again. the kiss was short and sweet, cut off by oscar knocking telling him it was time to go.

she stood in the garage, smiling at a few engineers she recognised before finding herself a seat. the nerves were washing over her again, but now they were for lando. y/n always worried during races, scared on his crashing, worried he wouldn’t perform as well as everyone knew he could. her hand reached up to her chest, instinctively searching for her necklace - lando had bought it for her before they were even together, knowing from the moment she smiled at it and looked up to thank him that this was it for him, she was his future. but the necklace wasn’t there, the girl panicked slightly, fearing she had lost it or it had fallen off before concluding that in her distraction this morning she had simply forgotten to put it on.

that’s ok, you’re a grown woman who can control her nerves. you don’t need a necklace to calm yourself down - you’re not even the one racing she told herself, letting out a deep sigh as she tried to believe herself. no one else in the garage seemed to notice her, a fact she was fairly happy about, hoping that the same would be said for the hundreds of news and tv stations priming their cameras for the race.

but someone had noticed her, recognising the look on her face as the same one she had been wearing all morning. only lando could decipher what her expression meant - she was nervous, of course, scared for him, but also filled with a small buzz of excitement - he couldn’t quite understand how one person could feel so much all at the same time, and not combust on the spot. nevertheless he jogged over to her.

“lando? aren’t you supposed to be like, getting your helmet on?” she asked him, shocked slightly at his sudden appearance. he looked at her, his hand tugging at the top of his fireproofs and pulling his own necklace from where it was trapped behind the fabric.

“forgot to take this off,” he told her, hands moving behind his neck to unclasp the metal, “will you look after it for me?”

she nodded up at him, her outstretched hands halted as he stood close, hands moving the metal around her own neck and clasping it. the metal dropped against her skin, the warmth from him wearing it transferring to her.

“thanks, love you,” he told her, a rushed kiss planted on her lips before he jogged away from her again.

his face carried a smirk as he left her, knowing he hadn’t truly forgotten to take the piece of jewellery off. in actual fact, he’d noticed her missing necklace the moment they’d arrived at the track and made it his mission to have his own hung around her neck, almost as a badge of honour. the two had agreed to keep their relationship private from the public, somewhat of a secret - but now she sat in his garage, wearing his necklace. it was the bare minimum display of the love they shared, but it was enough for him, and it was enough for her.

oscar quirked his eyebrow at his teammates smirk, receiving a quick tell you later before the two pulled their balaclavas down.

the gesture was so simply and so subtle and the girl was oblivious to the moment being caught on camera. the moment a yellow flag was called, the sky tv cameras filled the wait time by zooming in on the faces of loved ones sitting in each drivers garage. however, y/n remained oblivious to the lens focusing closely on her, the camera closely capturing the way she fiddled at the necklace before dropping it as normal lap conditions resumed.

"good day then?" y/n asked him softly, her head resting on his bare chest as she listened to his heart beat - lando felt the way her cool fingers fiddled with the necklace around his neck. that godforsaken necklace, quite frankly the only necklace to ever cause so much uproar online.

"soft launched on live tv and p3? i wouldn't have it any other way," lando replied softly, chucking lightly as his hand brushed through her hair.

“that checks out, mr nowins,” she teased, tilting her head to grin at him.

"being with you is a win in itself," he replied, taking the nickname in his stride.

"gross," the girl responded, pretending to vomit at his attempt at being cute.

“i am sorry though - i should’ve known that would happen, i should’ve checked with you before hanging the “lando’s girlfriend” sign around your neck,” he replied with a sigh, his head dropping to press a kiss to her forehead, his cheek resting on her head as they spoke.

“it’s ok lan, i knew there was a possibility of something like this happening,” she replied.

“and it was fairly subtle - we could probably play it off for a little longer,” lando suggested, knowing that neither of them were quite ready to expose the extent of their relationship just yet. at least this had given them the opportunity to be a little more careless with their efforts to hide from the public. they were private, not secret, and lando couldn’t be happier to preserve this part of his personal life for a little longer.

“im just glad we no longer have the responsibility of a big announcement,” she laughed, “god knows we’re both too lazy for that.”

“who’s we?” he grumbled jokingly, “im the one with the public account. besides, im more than hard launched on your page.”

“ah the joys of an ordinary life,” y/n joked, her arms stretching out in feigned bliss, “however i feel like i should steer clear of twitter for a while.”

“that’s probably for the best,” he agreed, his tone saddening slightly at the memory of things he’d seen posted about not only his ex girlfriend, but some of the claims people had already began making about the girl lying below him.

“hey!” she started noticing his change in mood, and pushing her body weight back to look at him, “none of that. today is a good day. trust me, ill take any excuse to get my screentime down.”

“i love you,” he told her, grabbing at her body to pull her back into his embrace, “more than you could imagine.”

liked by maxfewtrell, team_quadrant and 111,230 others

landonorris soft launching on live tv wasn't enough, time to promote her to the gram

comments on this post have been limited.

maxfewtrell so glad i dont have to worry about slipping up on stream anymore

-> maxfewtrell chat aren't ready for what i have to say.

maxfewtrell 2nd photo is a violationnn - ynpng, pietra.pilao u gonna let this slide?

-> ynpng am i fuck. pietra.pilao we ride at dawn.

-> pietra.pilao omw queen.

-> maxfewtrell run landonorris whilst u still can

-> pietra.pilao you told me you deleted that photo maxfewtrell - sleep with one eye open xx

ynpng hate u with every fibre of my being rn <3

-> landonorris nuh uh

-> ynpng gonna unprivate my acc and let the world see the video of you falling down the stairs

-> landonorris might accidentally leak the video of you and the shoe incident

-> ynpng you wouldn't dare.

-> landonorris you wanna bet?

[skunkes]

what is dave the diver like? ive seen it a lot but nobody talked abt like. gameplay. is it good?? i think i might get it later this month

gameplay for dave the diver involves diving down to collect sea creatures for 2 rounds, this is how time progresses in the game. You are able to upgrade several of your items in order to be able to dive deeper, breathe for longer, do more damage, carry more items with you, which also progresses the Plot.

at night you work at the sushi restaurant that makes food out of the fish you bring in, and this part of the game involves selecting a menu, serving drinks, serving the food, refilling ingredients (but it is Not stressful as you very quickly unlock multiple staff members that do this all for you, since you, as Dave, have a really slow walking speed. you very quickly get to a point where u just supervise restocking the menu and such)

I think it is good ^_^ i am a person who doesnt like management games, and the restaurant part doesnt feel like that at all. (if your staff doesnt get the order out to someone in time, all that happens is you dont get the money that person wouldve paid). I really feared it would be That kind of restaurant gameplay.

There are people who complain that there are too many quests and tasks (this is a game where you have a Phone with Apps on it, related to the game after all), but every mechanic that is introduced is not done in a stressful way, is usually tied to the plot and you are given a good example of how to use it, and many things are optional, or easy to balance since the game time only progresses when you dive!

If I had known some of the stuff/eventual mechanics beforehand, I would have felt very overwhelmed! But I think the game introduces em in a good + relevant way as u progress the plot! ykwim?

I usually HATE when games are Lots of Tasks but here its like well, I need something to do while diving anyway! Maybe doing this thing will earn me more money, or a charm that buffs my harpoon gun, or reward me with an ingredient for the sushi place, or cat food to feed the cat with. Very few things are Timed (like Parties where getting certain fish will have people paying more, or having a VIP visitor you need to make a specific dish for) and the game goes at the pace of your diving expeditions, which can last as long or as short as you want, (U can find oxygen capsules underwater!), so I also dont feel Rushed. You can do all the little quests before proceeding with plot progressing main quest, you can ignore little quests, do them later etc.

Im not very good at video james, and I get stressed out by them easily, and this game has been really fun for me and not super stressful....! I don't think it's high stakes at all.... It is also very Cute moments and pretty and the music is nice. And I love Dave he is a good guy and so cute also. ...

Jerma plays a very very small amount of it which was enough to hook me (and it only gets better and more interesting from there) if u Do wanna get an idea of core mechanics without further spoilering... I also got it on sale in case I did not like it ^_^

also it OF COURSE still has its flaws, from plot to writing to mechanics, but I like it a lot! i am haveing fun

[kitmoas]

Pernicious Prospect

Summary: Playing a little game to seal the fate of your life is only fun when you play it with a spider.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 5.6k ish

Warnings: Dark!Natasha, dark fic!!!!!, drugging (nat's serum), intense gun play (Russian Roulette), alcohol (and making bad decisions drunk), slight inspection kink, faux drowning..? kinda?, Nat is mean but also sweet. Toxic Nat. degradation, slight size kink if you squint, lots of names, hostage vibes?, stalking vibes, technically Stockholm syndrome too

*As usual let me know if I missed anything important*

***MINORS DNI*** ***18+***

A/N: This got a lot longer than it was supposed to be lol BUT look i wrote a dark fic without blood :O im just as surprised as you ALSO ignore any mistakes I made in this :) We ALSO dont talk about the hellsite not posting this yesterday :)

Main Master list // Kitmoas | Occult

You weren’t aware of the deep forest eyes watching as you danced with your friends in the club, a few drinks in and no show of stopping anytime soon. The group had no idea when everyone would go home, a Friday night after a huge test meant everyone wanted to party until they couldn’t remember their names.Someone knew when you were going home, had your entire night planned down to how many drinks you would be having. Not once did they let you out of their sight, after months of observation and planning everything was ready. 

The anxiety and stress that you felt the past few weeks was melting out of your brain as you downed more and more shots. Stumbling towards the bar you yell over the music asking for another drink, but the man just shakes his head before walking away. Whipping around to try and find your friends, jumping when you come face to face with the ginger. In your intoxicated state it takes your brain far longer than you would normally would have to recognize who was standing in front of you, but when you finally do your jaw drops. “Oh m’gosh! You’re ‘lack widow!” 

The woman in front of you cringes internally at your slurred speech, cursing herself for letting you drink so much, but she smiles softly at you regardless. “I am, sweetie. Are you okay? You seem far too drunk to be left alone.” You stumble forward just on time, cursing yourself at your clumsiness in front of the Avenger. “Let me accompany you home? I can drive so you don’t have to walk.” She watches as you melt just from her simple words, smug at how quickly you agree. 

You watch with wide delighted eyes as Natasha pays off your entire tab, making sure you pocket your credit card. She also quickly helps clean up any mess that you created, letting each one of your friends know that she would be escorting you home. Tipping not only each bartender, but each bouncer, as she tied up any loose ends that you may be leaving behind. Lastly she even had you use the bathroom before you left, holding your bag as she waited patiently outside the door after checking that you would have the entire bathroom to yourself. 

She easily guides you outside, her strength coming into play each time you stumble or sway too much. You’re talking loudly, asking her what car is hers but she just stays silent; nodding politely at people as you pass them. Basically swooning when she opens your door for you, you giggle as you crumble in the passenger seat of her Stingray. 

It doesn’t take much time for you to be excitedly climbing all over, leaning heavily against the dashboard with your face squished against the windshield. Mumbling out slurred directions, you try your hardest to direct the ginger on where to go to get to your house but unbeknownst to you she had every single route from the bar possible memorized. Playing along with your excitement each time you saw a landmark you recognized, she bathed you in praise and relished in each happy wiggle she got in return. 

Even though she drove at an exceptionally slow pace, an attempt to keep you safe as you clambered around the car, she felt as though the two of you arrived at your apartment all too quickly. Pulling up in front of your building, she makes sure the coast is clear before walking around the car to open your door for you. You stare up at her, admiring her face as the moon and street lights illuminate her.

Stumbling as she drags you out of the car, “C-come inside please just for little yknow.” You tangle your fingers in her flowy shirt, humming in appreciation at the soft fabric. “Please…just at least to help?” You’re unsure of where this clinginess came from, the need to act cool in front of her slowly disappearing at the idea of the widow leaving your life just as quickly as she entered. 

Natasha acts naive, innocent even, as she humbly agrees to make sure you get in bed with water and ibuprofen. Her devious smirk only appears once your focus is on the door, fumbling to unlock it. Her steady hand lands on yours, her warm body pressing against your back. Entirely too buzzed you don’t question how she knows your intricate passcode, instead giddy as you drag her into your home. Spinning to show her everything, slurred rambling as you point things out. 

She nods along, mindlessly listening to random facts about trinkets she already knows about, as she moves around your kitchen. Getting you a Gatorade, not water knowing you won’t drink it, and a snack she sighs as she looks around for your medicine. “Do you think you can find your pain meds by yourself drunkie, or will that be too much for your fuzzy little brain?” Watching you salute, taking your given job extremely seriously, the ginger smirks as she cracks open the capsule from her bracelet into your drink. 

By the time you come back, tripping over your own feet, triumphantly holding a bottle of pills above your head Natasha had already set the food by your bed and gotten you pajamas. Before she can stop you, you’re stripping at the excited idea of wearing something she wants to see you in. “Than’u it’s sooooo comfy!” Flopping onto the bed, you roll around as you look up ar her. She’s watching you, careful eyes, as she waits for you to calm down. 

Reaching out to hold your hand, she pulls you into a sitting position gently. A smile on her face as she brings the tray of food and drinks over, “Do me a favor, dove, just get a little bit of something in your stomach? For me?” 

The way she’s looking at you will forever be engraved in your mind, something you would never be able to deny. You can’t even attempt to fight her, gobbling up the pretzel sticks and downing the gatorade greedily. You preen under her attention, wiggling at the small achievement of earning her momentary praise. Quieting down as you settle in bed, head nestled in the pillows as your attention turns to the quiet television show she turned on. 

You’re blissfully unaware of how she watches you, sharp eyes waiting for a flash of cherry red haze. It only takes a few moments, blinking as if you have something in your eyes before you have an urge to be near her. Natasha is sitting at the edge of the bed, a normally respectable distance but you need her closer and that is starting to scare you. 

It doesn't take long for the widow to realize you’re squirming, a distressed look on your face, and she knows that you truly are the perfect little experiment for her own serum. Her rough calloused hand slips across your jaw, turning your head back and forth before it closes around your throat. Inspection of you doesn’t take long, your mind clearing from its initial hit of serum all too quickly for Natasha. 

Once your eyes do clear, and you’re able to ignore the way your pussy throbs and your muscles shake, the widow can see the anger rising. She watches the way your body tenses, and she knows your fight or flight is kicking in. Even though she’s expecting it, the way you flail about surprises her. Your fist only an inch or two away from her face, you keep trying to strike her but it’s almost as though she’s inside an invisible box. Hitting the unseen wall over and over again, you stare in shock at your own hand. 

You try pulling it back, gently pushing your palm forward but you are able to cup her cheek. Stuttering, you want to ask what is going on but the words are lost in your throat. Gasping you try to breathe as you can feel the panic filling your body, something was weird and you knew that it had to be some sort of Avenger science or maybe something from Russia. This was all too much and your favorite hero was suddenly turning into a dark shadow that would loom over you for the rest of your life. 

Before you can even try to escape, still on your back, as an electroshock travels through your body radiating from the small red electric disk now stuck on your body. Paralyzing, you can feel the energy swarming through your body and the scream that rips from your throat is shrill. She’s moving your body, manipulating it as she wants and for some unknown reason you just let her. 

Spread out on the bed, you try your hardest to figure out a way to escape. This was your room, your home, and you still felt trapped. You’re unsure of what she did to you but you feel sluggish and it’s almost like you can’t move as she walks away. The widow is only gone momentarily but the moment she settles back on the bed, your heart beat seemingly settles down. 

Natasha reaches for you, rough hands running up your thighs as she watches your abs tense from her touch. “You know, you were so cute and just so excited to put on the clothes I wanted.” She pulls at the flimsy crop top and skin tight booty shorts, chuckling at just how naive you are. “It was so easy to get you right where I want you, it’s almost pathetic. Almost too easy.” Her hands are ghosting between your legs, running her nails along the most sensitive parts of your lower body. 

The tearing of your shorts doesn’t surprise you, your brain working overtime to attempt to be one step ahead of what was happening. If you could come to terms with it, maybe you could find the strength to fight it. You curse your body for reacting to the way she touches you, knowing that your crush on her doesn’t help, when her fingers touch your uncovered pussy. She can see the wetness shining in the dim lighting, and she uses her thumb to smear the slick. “If you really wanted me to stop, don’t you think you would be just a little less wet?” 

Her hands are everywhere, pulling at your nipples and scratching down your torso. You want to keep your eyes open to try and stay alert but you can’t help when they slip closed. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise when you feel your fingers probing you, poking and pulling you open. She’s inspecting you again, silently. It shouldn’t make an intense wave of arousal hit you, but you know she sees the wetness gush out of you as she opens you up. 

The ginger makes an appreciative noise, deep in her throat before she begins to push 2 fingers into you. She grunts when she meets resistance, you're wet but still tight. Ignoring the way you squirm away, trying to kick and claw at her hand, Natasha just moves her fingers faster. Occasionally letting her thumb rub at your clit, hard and throbbing. It isn’t long until she notices the changes. 

No matter how hard you want to say you hate the way her long rough fingers move inside you, you can’t deny how close you are. It’s embarrassing but after months, almost years, of crushing on the infamous Black Widow how could you not react so easily to her. You had yearned for someone to treat you roughly, to take you and use your body as they pleased, but you never had found someone that wasn’t too scared to do it. 

Even as you realized each step she was going to make, you weren’t finding the strength to truly fight it. If anything you were finding ways to excuse her, to let yourself fall into her web. Your body was already cracking under the pressure, arousal leaking down your thighs and into the sheets below you. It was only a matter of time before your brain fully caught up, you knew that you didn’t have the mental strength to go up against someone so highly trained like the Black Widow.  

Your body was getting used to the force that Natasha was shoving her fingers into you, creeping towards the edge. The way your body’s temperature rose slowly signified the steady build of your orgasm. Reduced to just quiet pants and moans, you wanted to beg the widow to move faster–to take what she wanted. 

Unbeknownst to you, you never had to ask or tell the ginger to take what she wanted from you. You were naive and innocent to what she had infected your body with. From this moment on you would be hers, to do whatever she could imagine doing to you. She was being generous by stretching your body, stretching her pussy. 

Ownership was something the Russian always struggled with, after years of never truly having something of her own, but when she saw you she knew that no one else would ever touch you. Months of planning and creating the perfect serum, all so that you would be laid out underneath her. All so that she could finally own something all by herself, her favorite thing–you. 

Your moans and the warmth in your stomach were driving you crazy, it felt like she wouldn’t just shove you over the edge. Straddling the line between ecstasy and torture, you let your mouth fall open. Jaw cracking as you mewl, begging to be touched with more purpose. 

Through hooded eyes you see your jade counterpart’s roll, an annoyed grunt breaking through barred teeth. “Such a needy little thing even after fighting me. Have you learned your lesson yet?” Her question goes unanswered when she pulls her fingers out, tucking the last two in. She’s enchanted as she watches your leaking red pussy open up, stretching to take four of her digits. 

It isn’t gentle, and she’s shoving them inside you, but it’s enough to make you topple over the edge. Your back arching, and a scream tearing through your throat. It isn’t exactly the most pleasurable orgasm, entirely too mixed with intense waves of pain. It’s short lived, the widow yanking her fingers out of you and leaving you clenching around nothing. Your slick dribbling slowly out of you and coating your thighs even more. She leaves you a sticky mess as she stands, wiping the wetness from her hand on your heaving stomach. 

As you’re still trying to recover, Natasha starts moving you. Chastising you when you begin to whine, pulling and pushing you so you’re on your knees. Her touch is almost gentle as she guides you into the position she wants. Your face is pushed into the bed, drool soaking the fabric as you try to breathe. Something settles along your torso, possibly her own body, but you’re overstimulated and your senses can’t make sense of anything.  

You hear metal clanking rapidly, almost high pitched, and it makes your blood run cold. Ragged breathing as you try to bring air to your lungs with your face is pushed into the warm damp sheets. The pressure between your shoulder blades and along your hips keeps in place, even as your muscles twitch as the anxiety builds. The sound was familiar, but you couldn’t quite place it. 

A cool heavy steel trails along your ribs, tapping teasingly against each bone. “You wanna play a game, malysh?” She mocks you, seemingly giving you a choice. Her hand tangles in your hair, yanking your head up. The shiny revolver obstructs your blurry vision as you gulp down as much oxygen as possible, as quickly as possible. “You know where I come from, don’t you красивая девушка?” 

The stickiness of her bright wine colored lipstick pulls at the thin skin along your ear, leaving remencance of the stain. You can feel the exhaustion in your bones, the ginger’s actions of the night catching up already. Nodding, you can’t even bring yourself to say anything. She’s humming, prompting you. “I-I know a lot ab-bout you.” Voice hoarse, stuttering and falling over syllables, you try your hardest to listen to her. 

She laughs, it’s silent but shakes her chest as she leans heavily against you. Tapping the barrel of the gun against your cheek, “Right my precious little fan. You know all about me. Well don’t worry darling, all that precious information stored in your brain will come in handy.” The widow shoves you forward, pulling and pushing your body as she flips you onto you back. 

Natasha settles comfortably between your legs, swinging the fun around her pointer finger as she coos over you. She sits back and observes you, head tilting as you squirm below her. Running your thumb along your dripping slit, she can’t help but admire the string of wetness that catches and dangles as she pulls away. 

You try to shake your head, no matter her experience you didn’t want to shamelessly gamble your life for a night with the spy. She just giggles, like a schoolgirl. “All you have to do is tell me what you know about me, lyubov'. That’s all. I know that pretty little head is filled with who I am and all the little facts you know about me, so this should be simple. Say a fact and you’re safe, and get played with. Say something false, and I pull the trigger. Who knows though, maybe you’ll enjoy that too.” She looks so innocent as she talks down to you, but you can’t focus on her tone right now. 

Chest heaving, you watch her with wide eyes as the previously forgotten fear reignites as the older woman precariously plays with the gun. A sadistic grin stretches her face, pulling her cheeks just a bit too much. “Dontcha wanna play with me, detka?” Tapping the bottom of the grip on your lower belly, Natasha smirks. Your head is shaking vigorously, pathetic whimpers tumbling from your mouth. Your fist swings out again, a pitiful attempt at hitting the ginger one last time. Struggling as your hand hits that invisible wall again, she just slowly lowers it down to the bed. “Too bad you don’t have a choice.” 

Her calloused thumb swipes at your throbbing clit, smiling as your hips jump trying to chase after the spark of pleasure. She shushes you, smoothing her hand across your lower belly. Her gaze flickers up to watch your reactions, jade peaking through lashes as she taps the muzzle against your puffy red cunt. Natasha makes a noise, your only chance at a warning before she’s shoving the barrel of her gun into you. Watching you stretch, raw and red, around the cold smooth metal she has to bite her lip to suppress her own reactions. 

The moan that tumbles from your lips is involuntary, and the sounds only get worse as she forcibly ruts her beloved weapon into you. “First fact, princess.” When you just wither beneath her, too focused on your own arousal, she cocks the gun. The click ringing out, a stark contrast to your mewls. “Don’t keep me waiting, dove. It’s rude and my patience wears thin.” 

You stutter through the first couple facts, all things the public knows of. The most common facts that cannot be disputable; her alias, her training and community upbringing, and her status within the government as an Avenger. It wasn’t until she rubs your clit, dragging the wetness across your skin, that your mind swirls again. Broken gasps you mumble out, “You killed the overseer of the Red Room”.  

The ginger laughs, a short gleeful thing, as she shakes her head. “Poor baby, your head is already so foggy and the game has just begun.” You hear the menacing sound of the gun click, stalling, as she pulls the trigger for the first time. Even as the fear rings through your skull, sinking into your bones, you can’t help but the wetness that drips out of you and the way you clench around the slowly warming steel. A breathy please falls from your lips, and you aren’t exactly sure what you’re pleading for. 

A second wrong fact tumbles from your lips, jumbled and almost incomprehensible, as you beg the widow for mercy. Nothing you say deters her, even as you correct your previous statement. You knew that she didn’t go to kill Tony, just to see if he was dying but in your haze you said the wrong thing. Apologies and sobs wracking your body as you try to take back your mistake, but she’s pulling the trigger before you can stop her. Your hands are gripping your wrist but your fingers won’t move no matter how much you try to claw at her skin, a measly attempt to pry her away from you. 

Natasha shoves the barrel roughly into you, a piercing pain shoots through your body as she mumbles for you to continue. Her eyes trained at your body, it’s almost like this is mindless for her not even breaking a sweat. It’s almost like she’s angry at the fact that the bullet and chamber have yet to align. “You w-wear the arr-ow for Cl-lint.” Stuttered though true, your fact makes her chuckle. The green eyed woman just thrusts into you harder, dragging you closer to the edge. 

Through hooded eyes you watch her, eyes flickering back and forth between the way her bicep tenses and how the vein in her neck pulses. Distracted you stutter on your next fact, “Y-y um dance um ta–”. Even though you never finish your sentence, the sight of the gun rubbing against the most sensitive part inside of you, the assassin knows you were going to mess up. The longer she’s moving inside you, the harder you find talking and thinking. It terrifies you how much you like the feeling of the steel inside you, how you drip around the cylinder. 

The coil in your stomach cracks when you hear the widow cock the gun, body twitching when she pulls the trigger again. She has you dangling over the edge, almost like you were on a string. Dragging her nails down your thigh, leaving bright red streaks and a burning sensation. Her actions are almost teasing, toying with you as you squirm and moan under her. 

Natasha’s voice is soft, almost comforting, as she stares down at you. Her eyes almost soft, nurturing, as she fucks her gun into your sore cunt. “Such a desperate little whore, I can barely move my gun from how tight you are.” Reaching up to cup your breast, she pinches your hardened nipple ruthlessly. Tugging at it until your back arches, trying to relieve some of the pain. 

It’s a spreading warmth, stinging, as the redness explodes across the goosebump covered swell. Your brain can’t keep up, swirls of pain and arousal clouding all your thoughts. “Give me another one, now.” Hissing, her voice strikes in your bones. A shiver running down your spine as you try to keep your orgasm at bay. A small part of you still wanted to be defiant, to try and fight in the only way you can. You knew you couldn’t physically do anything to hurt her, but you could take hits at her ego. 

The longer you delay the inevitable, whimpers and whines filling the air as you focus solely on the pleasure, the angrier the ginger gets. She’s jamming the gun harder into you, her muscles flexing with each push. Forcing your breath and your heart beat to stutter, jumping along with the force of her ruts. “Play my game, you worthless whore. Play or I’ll play without you.” Wrapping her hand around your throat, she hovers over you. 

Her weight is almost completely on your neck as she looks down at you. You babble panickedly, wheezing as you try to fight for your life. Unsure of the words you even say, you thrash violently at the clicking of the gun. Legs flailing, kicking helplessly at air, as your body goes into full fight or flight mode. Throat raw as you scream, the shrill sound cut short as Natasha slams you down. 

“No matter how much you fight, princess, you can’t deny the way you're teetering. Barely clinging to the edge. You’re not going to last much longer, so why must you fight me?” Clenching, each word she speaks to you wears the rope you’re hanging from thin and dropping you farther and farther over the edge. She pulls the trigger again, pulling the hammer down immediately to pull the trigger once more. “Looks like you only have one more chance, little dove.” 

Your entire body is shaking, and you can barely understand a word she says. The overwhelming weight of the barrel inside of you is the only thing you can focus on, the pull of the smooth metal as it thrusts. It’s no longer cool, your temperature heating it up. Whining you try to get her to understand your frustration, the way she’s clouding your judgment and stripping you of your ability to coherently speak. 

It doesn’t matter anymore as the rope falls apart and you slip over the edge. She struggles to keep the barrel inside of you, the force of your orgasm not only shaking your entire body but the gush of wetness escaping you is even stronger. The way she moves doesn’t slow, if anything she puts her entire body into how she jams the firearm into you. Her fingers grip your jaw, clawing until your mouth falls open. Your moans are garbled, drool and spit filling your mouth unable to escape except for a few drops leaking down your flushed cheek. 

The ginger pulls the gun from your leaking cunt, pulling your body to let your center lay flush against her thigh. Your hips are grinding before she can even demand you to move, chasing the high that you’re on. Natasha leans back, rolling her eyes as she watches you hump her leg. “You’re fucking disgusting.” Wiping her gun along your torso, your slick is cool against your heated skin. You’re entirely too lost in your pleasure, heavy eyes blurry as they try to watch the woman above you. 

It’s the exact moment that your body finally settles, muscles gently vibrating with the aftershocks of your waning orgasm, that you see the widow’s arms move quickly. Cocking the gun you can see up the sight just for a moment, before she pulls the trigger. The bullet is loud as it pierces the mattress next to your head, fluff and fabric exploding. It makes the blood in your veins run cold and the high you were on plummet back down to Earth. 

Fuzzy brain, clearing slowly, you stare wide eyed up at Natasha. “Y-You were actually going to shoot me?” You can’t stop stuttering, gasping, as you realize how close to death you truly were. The shaking is back with a vengeance, almost like your entire body is plugged in. This entire time you believed that it was all just a game, a thing for the Avenger to scare you with so that you would be more open to having sex with her. 

The Avenger smiles, cupping your cheek and smoothing her thumb over the flush she finds there. She licks the cooling metal, humming at the taste she finds there before letting the gun fall heavy on the sheets. “And yet, my darling, your body is still shaking and aching for my touch.” When your hips try to move against her body, she shakes head. “Nuh uh, you’re done for the day. I can’t push you too much.” She’s shifting to sit next to your collapsed body, ignoring the pathetic whimpering falling uncontrollably from your mouth. 

You are struggling to breathe properly, heavy pants filling the air as the two of you sit silently on the bed. She’s gently pushing your matted hair away from your sweaty forehead, and wiping away the stream of tears you weren’t even aware you were crying. Natasha lets all the emotions that you are feeling to be let out, the entire thing overwhelming you but she doesn’t want you to completely shut down after just one play session. 

The quiet doesn’t last long, the widow pushing your body to sit up. Your entire body feels weak, unstable, as you sway in your spot. She’s the only grounding factor you have in the moment, and you hate how pitiful you seem. Natasha is trying to get you to move faster, shoving at you, urging you to move faster so that she can strip the bed. You try to tell her that you can’t feel your body, that everything is just too much, but it doesn’t matter and you can see the seething anger. 

Looking down at you, her hand is fisted in the sheets where she’s trying to clean up. “Stop being a worthless bitch, and move out of my way.” Her free hand tangles in your hair, throwing you off the bed. You lay, crumpled in a ball, at her feet. Not daring to move as she rips the bedding from the mattress. “I’m trying to clean up after you, and you can’t even be considerate enough to move out of the way.” 

Her angry words cut deep, but she’s reaching out to you and scooping you up. It’s soft and gentle as she carries you to the bathroom. The ginger spends an immense amount of time cooing over you as she gets the water warm. Rubbing your sore muscles and softly detangling your hair, kissing all over your face each time she tugs a bit too harshly.

You basically swoon as you stand in the steaming shower, Natasha gently washing your body. Her hands running along your body makes your mind swim, quiet moans under your breath each time she randomly teases you. Leaning up against the cold tile wall as you watch her get shampoo, getting ready to wash your hair, you have to keep a grip on the shelf to keep standing. Your legs are sore and still shaky, even your body still feels weak. 

When the ginger turns around to wash your hair, she sees you leaning heavily against the wall with your eyes closed. Tying to take a few deep breaths, she tries to calm down but she can’t help the searing anger. Dropping the glob of shampoo in her hand she grips your chin, and spins your body around. It’s all too quick and the slick floor makes you slip entirely too easily. You can’t even understand what she’s hissing into your ear, bitter and heated. 

She’s shoving your face into the stream of water, uncaring as you choke and thrash about. Her voice, whispering directly into your ear, makes you freeze as it sinks into your bones. “Such a dumb little girl, how would you ever survive without me? Hmmm?” You aren’t sure how long you’re swallowing and gagging on water, spilling over your lips. You had given up, ready to let your lungs fill with water when she shoves you against the wall. “I don’t want to hurt you, dorogoya. I really don’t but someone has to keep you in your place. Don’t they?” She chuckles, low and heavy, when she sees you mindlessly nod. 

You can feel your body being thrown around, limp, as she moves you where she wants you. Brain struggling to do anything but answer the older woman whenever she asks you a question, it’s almost as if whatever she did to you put you into autopilot. 

Sinking into the warm dry sheets, you finally feel your body relaxing when she sets you in bed. Curled up in her arms, you listen to her heartbeat and her humming as you try to fall asleep. The ginger even sings to you, a Russian lullaby, to try and help you fall asleep. Nothing helps and maybe it’s the suppressed fear that lies deep within your gut, but you can tell just by how her breathing changes that it’s starting to anger her. 

The hand that was once running along your back, a soothing motion, wraps tightly around your throat as she shoves you into the bed. Her body, once again, is looming over you. The forest green eyes are dark, almost a midnight black, as she stares down at you. Her grip on your throat tightens, and a sadistic smile stretches across her face. Your vision is blurry and the moment you try to claw at her arm, she catches both your hands in one. Pinning them above your head, her entire weight is leaning on your wrists and throat. “Poor baby can’t fall asleep?” A mockingly sweet noise falls from her pursed lips. “Well don’t you worry, I’m here to always make sure you can sleep. Even if you can’t do the most simple of things for yourself, I’ll be here to make it all better.” 

You’re panicking as your lungs scream for oxygen, and black starts to border your already foggy vision. “I mean think about it, even with your stupid little brain you must realize that no one else will want to deal with you. No one else will love you the way I do.” She’s smiling at you, even as her fingers tighten around your throat. The pressure is crushing your windpipe, and you’re slipping into unconsciousness as you’re forced to just look up at the ginger. “I’ll make you better. I’ll mold you into my perfect little dove. I’ll keep you around and then you won’t be useless anymore, doesn’t that sound perfect?”  

She forces your head to just barely nod, and she gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead as she watches your eyes flutter closed. “Goodnight my love, sleep tight. I’ll fight off any nightmares that dare interrupt your sleep.”

[thea-dacity]

I had to make a separate tumblr for this because my roommates follow me on all my social media, and I cannot make this post there because my roommate will see it, and I cant fudge the details enough that she wont know it's about her. But I need somewhere to vent because if i dont i will explode, even if my usual support group wont be there to help.

4 years ago, my girlfriend and I decided that we were going to live together with another couple in a rental home and split the rent 4 ways. Rent in our area is stupidly high, and I was struggling to make rent, so this seemed like a good deal for all of us.

Lots of details here are not important because if I nailed it to the church door like I want to it would take weeks.

For the first year, we were doing really well. All four of us had jobs, even if the pay wasnt stellar. But between the four of us, paying all our expenses was easy and I was even starting to save.

Then. Roommate A lost her job. Its alright. People lose jobs. It happens.

Then. COVID. Which was not alright, and I think that while it's not the root of all our problems it was definitely a contributing factor.

I want to talk about A for a minute. A suffered a lot of emotional abuse from her mother growing up. She goes to therapy for it, she's taking medications, we're to believe that shes working through her problems at some kind of pace. I'm being pretty understanding that recovery ain't a straight line. Plus, we've met her mother and her mom is absolutely a bitch.

She's very jealous that the rest of us have parents that arent narcissists and abusers, but it's not like we dont all have our own host's of problems (whole house is a concoction of adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders).

Every year, A will throw some kind of tantrum. The first time, it was because I said something about how I felt shoved in a corner. Me, my girlfriend, and Roommate B (A's partner) all shared an office together.

A's former remote job required her to have privacy, so it was agreed that she would get an office to herself. But B's job also required privacy, she they got the nook that we were using as our craft room, and we just agreed to be conscious of her privacy during work hours.

This didnt last very long. I couldnt use my computer to play music very loud and my girlfriend couldn't use the space to sew. And I felt, as I said, shoved in a corner.

So I asked in our house chat if we could reconfigure the working scenario because I felt like I wasnt... given proper space to work.

Didnt even mention A, but A went on a tirade about it- wrote up a whole screed about how she was the bad guy and then locked herself in the office (remember, at this time she was not working from there) and didnt talk to us for three days.

We worked out a solution where B works from the closet of their bedroom in a makeshift cubicle, the nook goes to me and Girlfriend, and A gets the office to herself... for some reason. Eventually this turned into their game room.

But it kind of set the tone that at least once a year this 40 year old throws a hissy fit about something and then doesnt apologize.

Again. I'm trying to be understanding of her situation, but there are days where I have to walk on eggshells.

Well... it's that time again.

Rough update of the events preceeding:

I quit my toxic job awhile back and started a new career as a photographer, which requires a lot of equipment. This job does not make a lot of money and theres a few months where I have to find extra work just to make ends meet.

Girlfriend lost her job and has been deeply depressed, and money issues mean that we are privately going through a rough patch during the slow season. My emotion s are... kind of haywire right now and I'm trying to make it work, but it's hard.

B got a promotion, enough that they can afford a starter home, possibly. They're trying, anyways.

A only leaves the house for doctor's appointments and house showings. She hurt her back some years ago and she hasnt been able to find a job.

After failing to find either a house to buy or an apartment to rent, girlfriend and I decided to stay in the current place. A and B are trying (and failing) to find a house of their own because the market is... very tight right now.

A cant contribute to the move monetarily and has anxiety about not being ready to move when the time co.es (even if it takes a whole month to close on a house.) She started packing in February. Its May, now, and no sign of any move to come, but the amount of boxes in our house would make you think they're moving out tomorrow.

So my stuff is crammed in the craft room (because she asked me to move my stuff out of the garage so she could use the garage as an exercise room, which never happened) a d there's boxes everywhere, making it difficult to get to my stuff to organize it. And she wont put her stuff in the garage because 'theres mice in there' even if her solution to my stuff is to put it in the garage. Its frustrating to live in a place where you cant use the furniture because its covered in boxes.

But let me back up a little because today's tantrum has details.

Last October, I accidentally backed into Bs car. Damage was a crack in the bumper, which I didn't think was a big deal, I offered to pay for it, but B went through insurance instead, which meant I almost lost my insurance. But they didnt pay for any of it, and it was a minor inconvenience- and in any case it was between the two of us, no hard feelings.

B asked if, in the future, I could park on the street, because their car is newer than mine and not as sturdy as my older car, to prevent any future mishaps. I decided this was fair.

Now I think we're up to speed.

My car had a coolant leak this past week and the car overheated. I took it to a mechanic to take care of, but it took a few days and they got me a rental so I could still do my job. And today was the last day of me having it.

B was at the office today, so their parking spot in the driveway was empty. My task today was to return the photo equipment to our main office and since the bags are heavy I decided to park in the driveway just so I could get my stuff in.

I realized as it was sitting there that the grill of the car kind of made a funny face, so I snapped a pic of it and shared it on tumblr before driving off.

So because A follows me on tumblr, she saw the pic and had something to say about it:

"Please dont park next to me. You backed into (B's) car and we just got it fixed."

There's like 3 feet clearance between our cars. I was only there for half an hour. In fact, I was away from the house when she put that in the house chat and didnt respond right away. Girlfriend actually came to my defense first.

"there's no call for that. 1) his implies that (tgea) makes a habit of driving recklessly, which is untrue and 2) the rental is in the driveway to make sure IT doesn't get damaged 3) why is (thea) not allowed to uise the #!%^$% driveway"

And B offered to park behind her car, which was not the point, since my car wasnt parked there anymore. The problem is that B always wants to negotiate and see both sides of a problem, but sometimes one side is simply being unreasonable.

And it really is just fucking ridiculous- I pay rent here, I should be able to park in my drive way for 30 minutes without scrutiny.

Girlfriend told her off in person as well, that she was being fucking ridiculous. I dont know what all she said, but A hasnt talked to me since getting back from the mechanic.

Since moving in here, I never really got the sense that this I was welcome. Like... yeah I live here, but this is A's house, not mine. I'm a tool to be used so she doesnt have to pay rent or cook dinner. Like... I've got my own mental issues, you know? I have self worth problems that this is feeding and I feel like I'm a pest that does inconvenient things like make messes and thats why I'm only allowed in our bedroom, our office nook, and the garage. Like that's why she keeps putting my stuff in the garage- I'm like one of the mice.

These tantrums dont happen on their own, usually. What typically happens is shes in a bad mood because she was eavesdropping on a conversation where i said something she didnt like and is looking for a reason to be mad.

And the only thing that I can think of is that this morning I had a conversation with B about how we had a lot of duplicate items in the cupboard and I was trying to plan meals around the things we have excess of, one of which was an ingredient that only she uses, typically. And that food is expensive and we should try to budget a bit more carefully. Which doesnt seem like the kind of thing that someone might get vindictive about, but guilt does weird shit to your brain.

Unless, of course, she was somehow listening in on the conversation I had with Girlfriend about how I need to put my foot down about food expenses and say that I shouldn't be paying for their convenience foods (premade salads, frozen burritos, bolthouse drinks) or her bougie food choices (pepperidge farm bread, Annie's mac n cheese, brown eggs only, cant buy store brand anything) because when I'm working I rarely eat any of the food that comes in the house.

The walls here are thin, sometimes I hear them arguing. But we keep our voices down, and if the comments I made in my own room, which is one of the FEW places I have to myself, made her mad- then she should have said something about that instead of forbidding me from parking three feet away from her precious Kia that she never drives, in my OWN FUCKING DRIVEWAY of my OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

I'm trying not to go crazy here, but shes making it very hard, and I feel like vermin. Vermin that pays half the rent and makes all her food.

Anyway, I feel a little better having talked about it, but after that I dont know what to do because if I bring it up that she was being unreasonable, then she'll find something else to treat me like shit over and we get back to the eggshell cycle.

I want to block her on tumblr so I can even talk about it where my friends are, but if I do that and she figures out that I blocked her it's going to make this house absolute hell.

I'm literally screaming inside.

[turojo]

General RP style and preferencesRepost, don’t reblog.

Bold what applies. Strikethrough what does not. Elaborate on any points you’d like with a *

Please be honest, we all want to find the people who work best with how we RP.

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐏 & 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒

| I don’t I just do whatever is on my dash when I’m online | Mainly asks | I do little short things mostly | I do my threads on discord | Long running threads that slowly build upon the muses |

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒

| Wing it | Get a general idea ooc and then run with it & plot further if need be | Long expansive thought out story arcs |

Plotting really comes once the characters are properly introduced. Though if you have a clear idea of what you'd like then feel free to DM me. Not to say I hate plotting but most of the time its just us starring at each other blankly oop-

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 𝐈 𝐃𝐎 & 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑

| Oneliners only | Whatever dash shenanigans I’m online for | Para or Mulit para | Literal Novels |

I just reaaally like to type a lot but don't feel the need to follow suit! At the same time please don't give me one liners in return either : [ One liners are more for crack or quick dash ic moments.

𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 & 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐘 & 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒

| I lose threads all the time & don’t usually get back to them | I tend to lose threads but please tell me if I have and I’ll reply! | I drop threads pretty easily | I’m really slow but I WILL get back to you | I reply on a schedule/queue (specify if you’d like) | I usually reply within a week | I reply every day | I reply almost instantly |

But always if you're jiving for a particular thread and want it right away!! Lemme know! I know how it feels to be excited for a certain thread or a plot!

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒

| I don’t do these ships (specify reason if you would like) | I’m not against them happening but it is not the main point of my blog | All ships will have to be super slow burn & discussed a lot OOC, super chemistry based (Mutuals and friends only) | I love doing ships, HMU I probably already ship it just ask! | I ship really quickly | I autoship or ship within a few interactions | I mainly RP for the cute ship fluff |

All they really need is some chemistry, a little bit of discussion of why a and b go well together and some interactions! I'm medium? paced with ships depending mostly on muse so always feel free to ask ahead and no need to be shy, I quite like it! And remember across my blogs on multi single ship meaning I only ship with one of a muse and want that reciprocated.

I dont do slow burn, sorry, Im really busy and unless there's a plotted timeline in order Im p bad in keeping track or keeping progress 🧍‍♀️

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓

| I do NOT do smut at all (this muse is a minor!) | I’m very selective about it | I only do it on a separate (blog/discord/specify here) | I mainly only do asks relating to nfw headcanons on Sundays | I write it a medium amount | I write it all the time and love to | 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 [ GMT+5 ;; North America ]

| Mornings 8-10 | Midday 11-1 | Afternoon 2-5 | Evenings 6-8 | Night 9-12 | Ungodly hours of the day 1-onwards |

I work really late into the night because of my job so it's definetly evening based, weh

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐄

| SUPER slow and sporadic, like once a month or so | Slow and sporadic week long gaps between activity | Bi-weeklyish activity | Weekly activity | Daily activity | I’m online nearly all the time |

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

| I don’t do starter calls | I want to do starter calls but often don’t have time | I do selective calls (ask calls) | I don’t do calls, but always fee free to ask me for one! | I do starter calls rarely/regularly/often |

Though the fastest way to interact with me is through memes or quick plot of their relationship or idea. 𝐀𝐔𝐬

| I don’t do AUs | My blog is an AU but outside of that I don’t do them | I sometimes do them but only with a lot of plotting | I have a couple of AUs already feel free to request them! | I have AUs coming out of my ears please interact with them! | I love making AUs HMU to plot if you think of one! | There are some AUs I won’t do (specify here) |

Once I get ideas for an AU anyways! But do read up on the AU once they're available in the about sections, some are private for only a few mutuals.

𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒

| I don’t do crossovers | I’m selective with crossovers (specify reason if you’d like) | I love crossovers! |

I love the idea of crossovers of two different medias meeting without one neccessarily having an AU counterpart for the other! It's cool to explore! That being said I prefer crossovers only with fandoms or media I'm familiar with or can gleam from an about section.

[sendmewatermemes]

So last year saturday before christmas i woke up sick. Was supposed to go to christmas parties and do volunteer work that week was really looking forward to it all. Even the week of work before christmas i was looking forward to. Its meant to be mostly cleaning which is a nice change of pace. Put some of our music on and chill out working with some of the guys i dont usually get to spend that much time with but i get along with very well. Apparently the boss came in and made cocktails for everyone. Sounded like it was a really good week.

But instead i was at home dying then spent the next 3 weeks not being able to breath cause chest infections and asthma are so much fun. At the same time nana was very sick and going down hill. Both of us at christmas just out of it on the couch together. A few months after that we lost her.

Rest of this year ive lost another family member and a pet. Ive had at least 2 friends try to kill themselves. A big fight between friends that had police involvement. And so much other shit just keeps happening.

But hey at least christmas time coming up right, christmas parties, a 50th party, volunteer work ramping up (i do christmas wrapping for a charity every year and it starts november but its pretty quiet until like week or so before christmas which is when it gets fun and im good and fast at it and have been doing it for like 12 yrs so im pretty reliable and a good asset for the busier days which is evident by the fact they kept throwing shifts at me which i gladly took.)

And oh look i wake up friday just gone, just over a week left til christmas and im fucking sick again. Ive missed out on parties im missing out on everything i missed out on last year again. My uncles funerals tomorrow and i cant fucking go. My period started today and i feel even worse and meds arent fucking helping. And i just keep getting more bad news from friends and family.

Im so fucking tired, this last week was the one thing keeping me going to get through this year now im just miserable and sick and crying and almost throwing up everytime i have a coughing fit. I just want this shit to end i wanted to be at work to be with friends but im fukcing isolated at home. I dont even have the energy to talk with friends over text half the time rn god i love them but i cant be there for them and i feel like shit for that too

I just cant rn

[triangleguy]

alright ive mentioned these headcanons before but since it is currently autism acceptance month and this show is my special interest i wanna go more in depth on my autism headcanons for the gravity falls characters!!!

dipper: obviously his interest in the supernatural can be considered a special interest, and he also tends to be very organized and gets upset when things dont go how he planned (best example of this is in double dipper). he also has trouble a lot in social situations and a lot of his behavior is stimming (like chewing on/clicking pens, chewing on his shirt, pacing, etc). also gf is a cartoon so its not too weird that he wears the same outfit every day but i am choosing to believe its because thats his routine.

mabel: very creative and eccentric i love her. she also stims a lot and tends to miss social cues, but unlike dipper she doesnt get nervous, she just tends to be a bit sillier and more outgoing in situations where it may not be appropriate. shes also pretty high empathy; she cares a lot about people and objects and in the hand that rocks the mabel its shown she has a hard time saying no because she doesnt want other people to be upset. she also wears the same outfit everyday (not Exactly the same but shes always wearing a headband, sweater, skirt, and the same socks and shoes).

ford: like dipper, ford also seems to have a special interest in the supernatural, as shown by the journals. ford is also a bit socially awkward and tends to only keep a few people close. he also gets stressed when things dont turn out the way he planned. ford is also shown to have trouble with empathy and understanding others, especially stan. he doesnt understand why he does what he does, and its hard for him to grasp decisions that arent logical.

stan: honestly i dont have too much to say about stan, hes a bit stubborn but beyond that i dont think theres too much explicit evidence from what i can remember. this one is less about actual traits and more just about vibes.

soos: hes interested in a lot of tv shows and games and has a somewhat unique sense of humor. he also has trouble in social situations, the best examples being in soos and the real girl. he also has interests in things that may be considered childish, which isnt an autistic trait in and of itself, but it is common. also soos is just awesome

wendy: once again this one is more about vibes. shes just really cool

fiddleford: i have less to go on for him, but theres still a lot. fiddleford very obviously has an interest in mechanics and technology; this strikes me as especially important as a special interest because even after losing his memory he still retains lots of mechanical knowledge and skill. hes also shown both in the show and the book to be stimming a lot, specifically bouncing his leg. he also gets overwhelmed easily, which is shown a lot more in the journal.

bill: HOOO BOY now this is where it gets rambley bc bills my personal favorite and we have quite a bit in common so i'll be listing off more stuff here. obviously bill cant really be judged by human standards because hes. not one. but personally i think he has a lot of autistic traits. number one his low empathy swag. bill is like ford and has difficulty understanding others and why they do things. he also gets thrown off when things dont go his way. his dialogue also tends to be pretty blunt (hes good at being vague about his intentions but in general he doesnt really use idioms and if hes not trying to hide anything he'll usually say what he means). his speech is also relatively flat; hes basically always yelling but beyond that he isnt super expressive with how he talks, at least not in comparison to some other characters. he also does a lot of stuff that can be considered stimming, which you can see a lot in sock opera (like ive picked up several stims from stuff he does in that episode). also, weirdmageddon is just what happens when you get understimulated. You know how it is

obviously these arent the only characters who i think are autistic, but these are some of the main characters that i have a decent amount of evidence for.

[spikesbimbo]

-Giving head for the first time

-Sakusa, Atsumu, Hirugami, Boktuo

a/n: this was inspired by me thinking about being the first person omi gives head to </3 

first post of the year!

18+ Minors DNI

-Kiyoomi Sakusa 

Again, give and take.

This isn't the first time hes seen your bare cunt, exposed to the world, him being in it and making a mess multiple times.

You assured him that he didn't have to go down on you due to his “predicament”.

 You said that just touching and kissing him was enough, and you were right, everytime leaving you soaked.

But he insisted, it internally hurting his pride of whether he could get you off, and also believing that's what a good boyfriend should do. Bless his heart 

You returned the thought, wanting to suck him off, but he declined saying maybe later.

You eventually did before him, now wanting to get you off even more because of the guilt that you've given him head but not the opposite.

-

“Yoomi'' you whined as he opened your legs, him facing you needy cunt. You've never been so shy in your life, him staring at it for what felt like forever, not moving an inch.

“Baby” you started, uncovering your eyes with your hands and moving them down to his head. “You don't have too” you softly continued, gently stroking his cheek with your fingers getting tangled in his locks. 

This isn't just his first time with you, it's his first time with anybody. Yes he was confident in everything he did, but that was because he had practiced before. And also he wanted to do good for you, worrying if he was going to be good enough even though he would never admit that outloud. 

But you already knew, making your heart flutter that he would go to such lengths for you, getting you even wetter without him touching you. 

He moves his head closer to your entrance, slowly taking your hands off his face and putting them in his hair, gently grabbing it. He started kissing around it, natural instincts coming into play, gripping your legs.

You let out a whimper as he bit the sensitive area around your thighs, he looked up to make out if that was a good or bad one, quickly seeing your head roll back with your eyes, instilling confidence in him.

“Fuck yoomi, please” You moaned shoving your greedy cunt into his face. He usually wouldn't tolerate this attitude, but seeing as he's doing this for you, he lets it slide and at last connects his lips to your swollen clit. 

He works his tongue making you let out a string of cries and whines getting him painfully hard. As much and he wanted to make himself feel good, he reminded himself that this was all for you and him now , putting all of his work into both of his hands and mouth.

He continued flicking his tongue making you arch your back, now roughly grabbing his hair, not letting him up, getting lost in your own world, feeling prideful that he could make you feel this good.

He was in his own world too right now, not even worrying about the mess he was in, even admiring it. “Fuck doll” he groaned, his face still buried deep in your cunt, your movement getting eratic, letting him know you were close.

“I-im gonna cum- yoomi… please!” You begged, feeling like you were about to tip over and the only thing keeping you stable was his touch.

“Cum for me.” he muttered, taking his lips slightly off enough to reposition them, placing them in the spot he knew you loved.

“Fuck” you cried gripping onto hair even stonger making you see white while cumming all over him, drowning him in more of a mess. 

Coming back to reality, realizing what you've done, now hiding your face again. You knew he wasn't mad at you, and he was trying his hardest not to care about being soaked in your cum.

“I love you” he commented, already proving it but reminding you in a different form.

“I know” you giggled, feeling his cock, still stunningly hard. “lemme take care of you now?” 

-Atsumu Miya

Boy is needy asf

But you're his shy little virgin gf, which he respects, even though he's been daydreaming about him in between your legs.

So one day you finally get there after kissing for what seems like hours.

He makes you look him in the eyes, making sure you're actually okay with this, and not just going along with it because you don't want him to get upset.

 He loves, and I mean loves, watching you squirm and cry out because of him.

It makes his ego rise causing him to be more cocky, shoving his face back into you like he would die if he didn't get a taste.

When you finally cum for the nth time while he's eating you out he's puts that to rest, then fingers you till you pass out, crying out his name, saying that you can't take it anymore even though you could

What a good boyfriend < 3

-

“Tsum- ahh” you moaned sitting on his lap, grinding on his erection, making your pussy wetter than you've ever got it before.

“You gonna let me take care of you?”  he kissed into your skin making you let out another whine.

“Hmm baby?” he grinned seeing you in such an already fucked out state with him barely even touching you. “Cmere doll.” he said flipping you over so that you were now on your back and he was above you.

“Dont hide that pretty face, lemme see you.” he gently said, not wanting to overstress you, wanting to put all his energy into taking care of you. “Good girl.” he praised after you shyly removed your hands, now just laying there.

“You sure u want this baby?” he asked, looking you deeply in your eyes, stroking your cheek with one of his hands. “….y-yeah” you replied, grabbing him by the shoulder dragging him in for another kiss.

“Needy little thing” he muttered, dragging his fingers across your oh so wet panties. “I should just give you my dick huh, you'd like that baby wouldn't you?” he teased dragging them off finally seeing your pretty little pussy for himself. 

“Just playing baby.” he said, moving his head down to be face to face with your cunt. “wouldn't wanna break ya.”  

“Tsumie please” you could only moan at the thought of being stuffed full, feeling his breath on you, increasing the wetness between your legs.

“There she is! My pretty girl at last opening up...You wanna tell me what you want princess?” he teased again.

“Y-you-”

“Hmm can't hear you” he said cutting you off, his lips now hovering over your clit.

“Y-our mou-th” you finally got out, feeling more embarrassed than ever to admitting what you desperately wanted. You were by no means a “good girl”. But you kept yourself closed off, not wanting a hit and run relationship, but the way you acted when you were needy was a whole different story, that he loved to pull out of you.

“Yes maam.” he uttered as he started kissing on it, it all being a foreign feeling to you, you never making yourself feel this good. 

He increased his pace going between sucking on your clit and licking it all up, leaving you a mess before his eyes, he was blessed. The fact he had someone as sweet and beautiful as you in his life made him want to worship the ground you walked on, devoting all his pleasure to you. 

He went back at it making you cum for the 3rd time, feeling pride that he got you off this easily, but not letting it get to his head, just yet.

“Ahhh!” you squealed feeling his finger suddenly inside you. “Shh relax baby” he said, to which you listened, letting him at last thrust his fingers inside of you. “Dont that feel good?”  

“Y-yeah f-fuck.” you moaned, not even trying to hold it back anymore. The pleasure of his mouth and fingers pushing you into your 4th orgasm today. 

You grabbed his wrist wanting the attention on you right now and not your throbbing cunt even though you loved the feeling and didn't want it to stop. He turned his head to see your pretty face once again, already reading your mind, locking eyes for what seems like forever, eventually smirking along with you, grabbing you back up in his arms saying “Oh were not even close to done baby.” 

  -Sachiro Hirugami

You had a bad day : (

So when you come home and immediately clinging to your boyfriend, he knows just what to do to cheer you up.

You haven't been dating for that long, only a few months, but he could tell by the way you greedily kissed him that you wanted more.

He grabs your lower back as you snuggle into him, letting you complain about your day, talking his ears off, listening as he should.

But what he starts to do, slowly sliding his hands down your shorts, making you go wide eyed then falling into his touch making you let out a few held back moans.

BUT HERE'S THE THING

He lets you rant about your day while you ride his face.

True love< 3

-

“Gamiii” you whined completely, losing focus. The tv in the background being muted in your mind, the only sense you're feeling right now is his touch.

“Hold on honey” he softly laughed repositioning you in his lap, you not being shy at all, being so needy for him with a pout adorning your face. He continued to listen about you rant about your day while kissing your neck every so often, hands gently but firmly holding onto your sides.

You stopped for a second, his hand getting extra close to your ass, did he mean it? You don't know, but what you did know was that it gave you butterflies, in your heart and pussy.

You moaned into his neck again, this time accompanied by your hips swinging back and forth, taking out your stress on your poor boyfriend, not that he minded. You could use him in any way you wanted. He just lived to please you.

“I got an idea love.” he said, taking your hand into his, playing with your fingers.

He laid down on the couch, you still in his lap, just moving you slightly with your hands now resting on his chest. He took your hand in his again pulling you towards his face, to your confusion. 

“If you wanted to kiss then we could have done it sitting.” you thought, missing the feeling in his lap. But before you could pout any longer he dragged you on even further, you mind guessing what was happening but your conscious not wanting to admit it.

You immediately got flustered, the fact that he was wanting you, to sit on his face, made your cheeks burn.

“A-are you sure” you mumbled out, feeling him grow in anticipation. “Yeah baby. If i wasn't thinking about it ever since you came home i wouldn't have”   

“Thinking… about me. Really?” you shyly confessed. “Of course love.” he said, sliding your shorts off along with your panites, wanting to taste you for so long. “All I do at work is think about you, wanting to touch you, feel you, kiss you.”

He finally got you to hover over his face, being nervous about the whole thing, wondering if he could handle your weight. But he assured you by pulling you down onto his lips, immediately sucking on your neglected clit. 

“nghh” you instantly moaned, trying to be more quiet, leaning back onto his waist, your hands supporting you there.

“No keep talking, lemme know what went wrong with your day angel.” he said putting you back onto his face.

“W-well, ahh, my bos-s made me-nggh, re-edo the who-le project… by mysel-lf” you got out, a few moans escaping here and there.

“By yourself?” he sated giving you a break. “Oh no baby.” he genuinely said, wrapping his lips around it once again. He was working magic beneath you making you feel weightless, taking the stress out of your body, making you feel oh so good.

“You're so lucky you've got a man like me huh?” he cooed, you feeling the smirk he had in between your legs. 

“Yeah,” you stated, voice shaky, not one trace of a lie being hidden. “yeah i am.”

-Kotaro Bokuto

Virgin!Bo!!! 

Baby boy is so nervous, never doing this before in his life, only using his fist and incredibly active mind.

But it's okay you’ll guide him through it, like to good gf you are.

He loves- no needs praise.

Moan out how good he's doing while grabbing his hair

That'll set something off in him, turning him into a whole different man between your legs

Making him grab and suck the life out of you, leaving tons of hickies and marks on your thighs

Good luck getting away from it once you've started it

-

“Am I doing it good?” he asked, voice muffled by your pussy, sitting on the floor between your legs as you rested on the bed.

“Yeah. fuck baby. You're doing so good, being such a good boy.” You praised not lying once. Fuck he was good. After all that time building up to this, him shying away because he was scared, not wanting to disappoint you.  

He looked up at you for approval; noticing this you let yourself go, not holding back any moans or sounds that wanted to escape your body, wanting him to know that he was doing such a good job. The bite marks, bruises and hickeys, along with your dripping wet cunt, being visible proof.

“fuck y/n” he groaned, being in distress, not knowing what to do, whether to take care of his hard cock or keep all his attention on you. 

He chose the latter, wanting to be your good boy, loving how hard you pulled his hair, and moaned his name. 

He continued making you cum another time before completely pausing himself, realizing what he'd just done.

“Hmm, what wrong baby?” you quickly said noticing his state, not caring about the pleasure anymore, just waiting to make sure your boyfriend was okay.

He didn't say anything but you noticed the blush on his cheeks, and the ruffled look on his face. Your eyes scanned down until you saw what the problem was.

“Aww baby, did you cum? Because of me!? How cute.” you giggled taking him his large frame into your arms, him letting you not waiting to be seen right now. It made your heart race that he go this worked up over you, the fact that calling hi a good boy sent him over the edge.

He was so embarrassed, wanting to hide in your chest forever, hoping that this was just a dream and not real. “Ko- look at me.” you said pulling dragging him out of your chest, him missing the warm comforting feeling of your boobs.

“Don't be embarrassed, that was hot.” you said assuring him that it was in fact not something to be ashamed of but instead embrace.

“C'mere “ you said, jestering him to sit on the bed, already getting on your knees. “Lemme show you how hot that was.”

© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .

[tastyykpop]

[ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜɪᴍ]

Pairings: mafia boss!jaehyun x reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

Warnings: dom!jaehyun, brat!reader, yandere themes, orgasm denial, slight edging (like really slight), thigh slapping, ropes, vibrator, punishment kinda, creampie, unprotected sex (stay safe 🙏)

The glass in Jaehyuns hand shattered as he saw another man approach you. He was beyond pissed. Mostly at you honestly. You were basically letting it happen because to you, this was all fun and games.

It shouldn't be though.

Jaehyun was a dangerous man. Someone you really shouldn't be around and someone who had a lot of power, over anything and everyone. Most people were terrified of him and only idiots would dare to speak out of line. And if they were lucky, maybe, just maybe they'd make it out alive.

It all happened when you came to this bar for a good drink and a slight buzz. But here, there was always someone hitting on you. This someone happened to be Jaehyun. It was the first time you met him too. Unfortunately, like the idiot you were (and still are), you talked back to him. It wasnt because you were trying to be rude, but instead you were fed up with the way he was acting towards you. The small brushes on the shoulder and the hand on your knee was getting on your nerves. But what really annoyed you were his comments. Not realising who he was and the power he had, you got angry and gave him back handed comments.

You only stopped when you felt a sting to your thigh.

Luckily for you it was only a slap. Not a knife or a bullet. Jaehyun was never this gentle.

Everytime after that, you would still come back to the bar, in your usual seating and Jaehyun would always be there. He even remembered your favorite drink after the first few nights. How sweet. But now, he was seated away from you with a group of men, watching your every move since he couldnt be with you at the moment.

"Baby that dress looks so pretty on you." The guy sitting next to you commented. His tongue swiping over his lips to coat them in his own saliva.

"Hmm thanks." You smiled, knowing that an angry Jaehyun was watching you like a hawk from across the bar.

The man's hand began to slither up your thigh, dragging his hand up and down. It was nothing like Jaehyuns rough, yet loving hands.

"I want to get to know you more." You turned your head to face the man and raised an eyebrow. "Come home with me."

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no." You took a quick swig of your drink and smiled.

"Come on baby. It'll be worth your time." The man took your hands into his and brought them to his lips.

Jaehyun was going to kill someone today.

"Im sorry," you pulled your hand away, giggling, "but I said no." The man was still relentless, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge. Your eyes lit up and you searched around the room to see if anyone was seeing what was going on, stopping on your boyfriend's cold eyes.

Jaehyun got up from his seat, walking towards you. Your hand pulled away like lightning. A groan coming from the man next to you. Panic filled your body as you knew someone was going to get killed, or injured.

An angry Jaehyun is not a good Jaehyun. Especially if someone touched his girlfriend. And he let that go too far.

"Whats my pretty girl doing?" Jaehyun pulled your hair to the side and lightly kissed your neck. It was odd hearing such a soft voice come out of Jaehyun, yet you could feel how pissed he was.

"I-i was just talking..." His hands grabbed your waist, digging his nails deep into your side. Jaehyun wasnt an idiot, but you tried.

"And who the fuck are you?" The man asked. You actually forgot he was still there. But he wasn't going to be for long, Jaehyun ripped out a gun and pointed it at the man before making sure the safety was off.

"The real question is who are you?"

"I-i..." the man stuttered, obviously threatened by the weapon in your boyfriends hand.

"I dont like waiting." Jaehyun cocked the gun.

"I-im no one s-sir my apologies." The man walked away as quickly as he could from the both of you. Jaehyun snickering at how pathetic he was.

"Im gonna killed him for touching you."

"No, you wont. You can't always hurt someone who talks or touches me."

"Dont talk back to me, im not in the mood." You got up from the bar stool and walked with Jaehyun to his car. A very expensive one at that.

"I dont care if your in the mood stop acting like a bitch." Your sparky comment took all of Jaehyuns power to not bend you over and spank you in public.

"Get in the car Y/N."

"No." Crossing your arms over your chest, you turned and walked away. That set Jaehyun off.

You were suddenly in the backseat of his car, your face pushed against the seat and your ass in the air. The dress you were wearing was barely covering anything anymore.

"Listen here you pathetic little slut," he whisped in your ear, "if i tell you to get in the fucking car you listen, understand?"

You tried to get out of the grip he had on you, but it was no use. It just earned you a smack.

"Stop moving and answer me."

"Yes." A sigh left your mouth as he let go of you and walked to the drivers seat, starting the car. Leaving you in the back flustered.

"Come on pretty girl you can take it."  Jaehyun was currently fucking you with a vibrator. The vibrations sending you over the edge as he kept moving it in and out at a slow pace. You grabbed his arm and dug your nails deep into him, hoping that he'd stop punishing you and fuck you for real.

"P-please.." You begged as you squirmed on the bed from all the edging he was doing.

Jaehyun ignored you and picked up his pace. The room was filled with a mix or screaming, moaning, and wet sounds, just how he likes it.

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, teeth clashing with each other. The rougher he was, the more passionate he was with you.

"Im gonna cum." You moaned out, pulling away from the deep kiss, having enough of all the toying from the man above you.

"No youre not." He ripped the toy out of you, ruining your orgasm.

"Aw look at that baby, guess you won't cum again for another month."

You glared at the man as he sat there with a playful smirk before he moved on top of you, leaning down to bite and suck on your neck, leaving purple and blue marks on your skin as a whine left your lips. You wanted more, but knowing Jaehyun you probably weren't going to get it until he was satisfied enough. But you knew he was going to give up sooner or later. The boner brushing against your thigh was not going to go unnoticed by you.

"Stop...teasing..." You tried saying as Jaehyun moved back up to kiss you again.

"Why should i?" He looked up with an eyebrow raised, "You werent exactly the nicest to me. So why should I be nice to you?"

You frowned at the older man ready to talk back again, but the sudden cold hand cupping your hot entrance stopped you. The lower half of your body was almost grinding on his hand for more friction. Jaehyun noticed and smirked at your attempts to get off.

Smack.

"Dont even try that." He kept the same agonizing smirk on his face, giving him a more sadistic look than before. Your movement stopped with a pout and you watched Jaehyun take his hand away from your core.

"Then ill just do it myself." You pretty much just pushed Jaehyun away from you and attempted to please yourself, but you knew damn well it wasn't nearly as good as Jaehyun himself.

"Look at the pretty girl trying to act all tough." Jaehyun cooed at you, taking your hand away from your core and pinning your hands above your head. "Have i not been punishing you good enough? Is that why your acting even more bratty than usual?"

"No," you shook your head at your boyfriend, "its the fact you going to kill someone just because they touched me."

"Well i have a newsflash for you princess," Jaehyun leaned closer to your ear and whispered, "theyre already dead."

"Y-youre insane Jaehyun..."

"But thats why you love me." You watched as Jaehyun got off of you, moving to find something in the very large closet you both shared. When he turned back, you expected another toy he was going to tease you with, but no. He had ropes in his hand as he walked towards you with the same sadistic smirk that you hated yet loved.

He tied you up effortlessly, only giving him a few hard times but that only ended with a few smacks to your thigh.

Jaehyun stood back looking at your naked figure, a small blush painted your cheeks as you felt small under his gaze. Yes, Jaehyun was rather proud of what he was looking at. The beautiful hickeys and bite marks that littered your thighs, neck, and chest. The red hand prints on your thighs wrapping around to your ass. And the crescent shapes in your hips from his nails digging into your skin. He loved all of it.

You could hear the sound of clothes dropping to the floor, but didnt bother turning your head, too embarrassed to look at him now that you felt more exposed with the ropes holding your wrists to the bed post.

"Spread your legs for me princess." The sound of Jaehyuns voice brought you back to reality. You looked at him, his eyes staring into yours waiting for you to do as you were told. But did you didnt move. Just adding more fuel to his anger. "I said spread your fucking legs." He growled. You did so a bit too slowly for his liking and it only ended up with him forcefully spreading them himself.

A quiet gasp left your lips watching as he began to slowly grind into you, making you feel his bare cock against your pussy. Your sighs and moans filled the room, jaehyun watched closely, taking in every whine and movement you made. He pulled back and you waited for him to continue grinding but no, he was inside you without warning, not giving you anytime to adjust.

Jaehyuns fast pace shook the bed and your wrists were chaffing against the ropes. Moans erupted from your throat from the pain and pleasure Jaehyun was giving you.

"Fuck, Jaehyun...."

Jaehyun moved his hand from your hips up to your throat giving it a tight squeeze, "Such a dirty mouth." His hips snapped forward making your eyes roll to the back of your head and more cuss words were choked out. Earning a disappointed head shake from your boyfriend.

The lewd sounds of your bodies filled the room as he continued fucking you into oblivion. If someone walked in, they would be sure to have the image of you being fucked by Jaehyun with his fingers in your mouth and hand wrapped around your throat all while being tied up, stuck in their head for a few months.

"You love being a brat huh?" Jaehyun started whilst making eye contact, "Cause you know you'll be fucked like the pathetic slut you are. Am i right princess?"

He took his fingers out of your mouth to let you speak, "Y-yes." You moaned out. A quiet chuckle rang through your ears.

"Needy little brat..." His pace was faster yet sloppy and you knew he was close. The bed rocked and the sound of skin against skin filled your ears. Jaehyuns grip on your throat not planning on letting go as you struggled for breath.

"Jaehyun....p-please I'm gonna-"

"If you even dare cum ill beat your ass." That changed your thoughts about even bothering to let go, knowing he wasn't playing around.

Just as you felt like holding it in wasnt enough, Jaehyun was already one step ahead and came inside you, riding out his orgasm with a low groan.

Jaehyun pulled out, removing the ropes from your wrists. They were as red as your thighs and they stung too the touch. Jaehyun, being the nice man he is, even though he was still slighlty mad, took the time to give you after care, applying a cream to your wrists and butt just so the redness would calm down and cleaned up the cum dripping down your thighs.

After all that he laid beside you, embracing you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. "My pretty girl." He muttered against your hair before the both of you drifted off to sleep. Although you were still angry that you couldnt cum.

[xreaderbooks]

Hidden (1)

Pair: Draco Malfoy x reader, Harry Potter x sister! reader, Platonic! Cedric Diggory x reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: curse/swear words, fluff, soft Draco 

Summary: You and Draco have been in a secret relationship for 2 years already and he wants to go public but you don’t think that your brother is ready. 

Masterlist - part 2

If he were to ever find out; you would be dead. Or maybe he'd be supportive. It's always important to remain optimistic in situations like this, But then again how many people can say they are put in the position where they fall in love with their brother's enemy. Knowing Harry he'd probably be understanding, maybe, who were you kidding the rivalry between Harry and your boyfriend have been going on for years now and Harry would only ever see Draco for his past mistakes and... the more recent ones. The only reason he continues to bother your brother anymore is to keep up the charade of hating him. In reality he actually doesn't mind Harry anymore, at least that's what he tells you. In the end it'll all be worth it.

You were nervously wringing your hands as you were walking towards the room of requirements to meet your secret lover. You wanted Draco to ask you to be his date to the yule ball and publicly announce yourselves as a couple, you was tired of sneaking around and pretending to fake fight in front of your brother and your friends. You wanted to hold his hand as you walked through the halls and have him walk you to classes and sit next to you in the ones you did have together. You wanted him to kiss you good morning when you see each other in the great hall for breakfast and kiss you good night when you go to your respective dorms or houses. It was exhausting having to come up with excuses to see each other and hard trying to come with reasons to argue in front of people when all you wanted to say was that you loved him and thought he was perfect.

In the moments where girls would come up to him and shamelessly flirt with him because, for all they knew, he was single, You just wanted to come up to him right in front of the other girl and show that he was yours, and you were his. Unfortunately, Draco just had to go and mess things up without knowing the trouble it'd bring for your relationship. Not that you knew you would fall for each other.

Now you were trying to find a way of asking Draco to the Yule ball. For a year and a couple of months already you've been hinting at exposing yourselves and let everyone know you're a couple. However, every time you tried to make an actual conversation of it Draco would deflect and change the conversation or would shut down the idea completely. You knew it was scary and Harry's opinion mattered to you, way more than she'd care to admit but she loved Draco and wanted everyone to know it.

The room of requirements appeared itself to you; your reoccurring meeting spot. The anxiety of rejection making your palms sweat a little.

"Hello, My love." He leaned down to kiss you. "How were your lessons?"

"Boring as usual, I zoned out in Mcgonagalls class and of course she noticed and called me out." You huffed plopping down on the sofa that always appeared in the room. The room of requirements always showed up as a living area with a fireplace and couches with an assortment of fruits, snacks, and drinks. Sometimes even a bed for other times... "I had no clue what she was asking I guessed but I still got the question wrong. It was so embarrassing."

You let out a sigh. "Anyways how were yours?"

"The same as every other day, I missed you." He sat down next to you, pulling you closer to him so that you sat between his legs as he played with your hands. Your heartbeat sped up at his touch also knowing you had to bring up the yule ball. You inhaled and decided it was now or never. "Draco, How would you feel if we went to the Yule ball together?"

He got up, loosening his tie a little. You got up from the couch knowing where this was going.

"Y/N I don't think it's such a good idea." Your cheeks began to heat up with anger. You've been together for almost two years now and he wanted to reject You? Your mind was racing with all the bullshit excuses he would use, all the excuses he would bring up you were ready to rebuttle. Now your insecurities began to creep up. What if there was someone else? What if he was embarrassed by you?

"And why not?" Your voice raised a tiny bit, you tried to keep it in check to not start a screaming match.

"It's not safe for you, My father-"

"Screw your father Draco, When are you going to stand up to him?" She rolled her eyes.

"He hates your brother and if he finds out we're together who knows what he'll do to you."

"My safety is the least of my worries. Besides I'm not scared of your father."

"Your safety is my top priority Y/N, don't you understand?" He steps closer, grabbing your face in his hands.

You remove his hands and shake your head. "I don't believe that."

"You don't believe that I care for you, after all this time." His head tilts to the side, a look of hurt flashed before his face.

"No I do, I just dont believe my safety is your top priority, you're afraid of your father and what he'll do to you as well."

"You don't know what he's capable of."

"I have an idea but I don't care."

"Aren't you afraid of what Harry and your friends would say?"

"Yes and No, They'll have their opinions but nothing they say will change how much I love you." You raise your head to seem taller somehow.

He paced around the couch. "Just give me a couple more months to introduce the idea to my family."

"I've been bringing this up for months Draco and the yule ball is the perfect way to do it."

"I know we have it but just give me a little more time." He begged

"A little more time? really?" You laugh bitterly. "I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I love you, you know that, but I want to be able to tell the world how much I love you because I can't handle seeing another person flirting with you because they dont know that your mine or other guys approaching me when I'm not the slightest bit interested." You gently grab his face pulling him closer. "It's just not enough for me. I'm tired of this."

"I love you too but I can't."

You took your hands off of his face and stepped back. "I'm done."

"What would happen if your brother knew, you think he would just step back and let us be happy?" He shouted as you began to leave. Tears were forming in your eyes. "Or your friends, they'll try to separate us and you know it!"

"Don't you dare pretend you know anything about them! I already told you I don't care if they don't approve." You turn back to argue. "You're not even afraid of my friends, you're afraid of what your little pureblood buddies will say."

He stayed silent, you could tell he was trying to bite back his tears. "You're a coward, We obviously didn't think this through in the beginning." You look down refusing to show that you were about to cry.

"I-" You interrupted. "No Malfoy, I think I know what you want, its all clear now." You back away from him. "These past few years were amazing but I can't keep us a secret anymore. I think we need time to ourselves."

You walked out of the room of requirements with warm tears streaming down your face, but he wasn't going to let you go that easily. He ran after you shouting out your name in attempt to catch your attention but you didn't turn back.

Draco noticed Harry has approached you, engulfing you in a hug. "Y/N what happened?" Harry met Draco's eyes. "What did Malfoy do to you?"

"Nothing." You tried to force Harrys attention elsewhere. "I was just being emotional, you know? and I kind of just broke down in the wrong place."

"C'mon lemme walk you to your dorm."

~~~

It was breakfast time a couple days before the Yule ball. Since the argument with Draco, Y/N has been attempting to lift up her own spirits. Trying to convince herself that she was an independent person, she didn't need him. Besides, he seemed to be getting along fine without her now.

In Draco's mind however he was anxious to be with her again. He was sure she was going to get over it and come back to him in no time. This was an ongoing argument between them anyways and her and Draco always came to an understanding.

At least that was his thought process before he overheard a group of girls gossiping about Cedric Diggory. They were talking about a girl who they thought the popular Hufflepuff would ask the upcoming ball. Normally he'd be uninterested but Y/N's name was brought up to conversation. They were rating if they'd be a good pair and if she was even good enough for Cedric, as if they had any right to. Dracos mind became wrapped in jealousy.  'Prick' he thought. He never had any bad blood with Diggory til now when he suddenly showed an interest in Y/N. He couldn't stand the idea. He also thought that if he were to show up with a date you'd also be infuriated and come crawling back to him. And he knew just the person to ask.

~~~

Later when everyone was in Snapes class writing down notes, Hermione next to Ron who was next to Harry. You were across from Hermione. Ron was complaining about not having a date to the ball. "This is mad, at this rate we'll be the only ones in our year without dates." He said, while Snape was walking by and he snapped Rons head to his notebook.

He continues and leans towards Harry and breathes out a laugh as he says "Well, us and neville."

"Then again he can take himself." Harry laughs along.

You and Hermione share a look. You rolled your eyes and continues to do your work as Hermione tells them that Neville already has a date.

"Oh now I'm really depressed." Ron whines.

On the other side of the table Fred sends a note to Ron telling him to find a date before all the good ones are gone. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

"Who are you going with then?" Ron whispers to his brother. In response Fred chucks a paper ball at Angelina Johnson. Who looks annoyed when she looks back at him.

"Angelina-" Fred mouths while pretending to dance. "Will you go to the ball with me?" She agrees and Fred winks back at Ron.

Ron then leans towards Hermione starting off the conversation with "Why Hermione, You're a girl." 'Honestly Ron' you thought 'This boy couldn't be any more stupid.'

"Oh well spotted" she retorts. Harry taps Ron on his arm to warn him that snapes coming their way but its too late. Snape slaps Ron on his head with a book as well as harry and walks off, reading someone's notebook.

"C'mon it's one thing for a bloke to go alone, for a girl it's just sad." Ron makes a 'sympathetic' face at her.

"I won't be going alone because believe it or not someones asked me." She slams her book closed, hands it to Snape, walks back to respond with "And I said yes" she whisper shouts as she leaves.

"God Ron, you're such an idiot." You say.

"How was I supposed to know?"

"You could've said it in a better way, is all I'm trying to say." she puts her hands up in surrender.

"Well, what about you (y/n)?" He says suggestively. "Any eligible bachelors worthy enough?"

"No but I'm definitely not going with you."

"Why not?"

"Because she's my sister" Harry gives him a face as if it was obvious.

"Exactly it'll be embarrassing if I go with you-" You notice how he looked down. "It's not you, well, it is." You couldn't find the right words without making him feel worse. "It's just that if I go with you, it'll seem like I couldn't get a date of my own so I had to go with my brother's best friend type of thing."

"You understand don't you?"

"Yeah whatever" He responds and changes the subject.

~~~

The same topic is brought up again later that evening when you hung out with Harry in the Gryffindor common room. Nobody would shut up about it so you left. You were reading a book, trying to study for a defense against the dark arts test and you did not wanna get on Moodys bad side so you didn't see when you bumped into someone.

"Oops sorry, wasn't looking where I was going." You wanted to finish your last sentence before you looked up and saw that it was one of the champions. Cedric Diggory. You also recognized him from the quidditch world cup/port-key incident that happened before school. You didn't formally meet.

"No worries." He smiled. "You're Harry's sister, right?"

"I'm (y/n)." You put your hand out for him to shake. He shook her hand, "I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself, I'm Cedric Diggory."

You chuckled and nodded your head. "I know."

He tilted his head then realized he was practically famous around Hogwarts now. "Right." He smiled again.

"Excuse me, Ive got to go, it's almost curfew and I definitely don't want to get caught out."

"Don't worry about it, I'm a prefect. I could walk you to your house if you'd like?"

"Sure" You accepted his offer, not being foolish enough to walk around without the proper authority to get you out of trouble.

~~~

After that night with Cedric, You had spent more and more time with him. It would always be a coincidence that you'd meet. In classes they never knew they had together, walking beside each other in a rush to get to any of their meals, etc. the only times you would both see each other on purpose was in the halls talking to your friends and going to say hi to one another or when you went to wish Cedric luck. You were friends, you thought it was a nice change hanging out freely with someone instead of sneaking around. And just hanging out with someone other than Draco in her free time in general. Not that you didn't still love him it was just nice.

What you didn't know was that the platinum haired slytherin saw every interaction. Every laugh, every smile, every that was innocent in the eyes of everyone else; was criminal in Dracos. He was pissed so as revenge he decided to make his "relationship" with Pansy more public in an attempt to make you jealous. His plan was futile since you weren't paying the slightest bit of attention to him. Or so he thought. You saw every interaction that he and Pansy had and tried to play it off cool, not let him see how much it affected you. He made his decision and you broke up with him, you can't claim him anymore.

The day before the Yule Ball came quick, you were walking around the lake and Cedric came running up behind you.

"(y/n)! Wait up!" He waved you down.

You turned around "Hey Ced" you smiled. "what's up?"

"So the balls tomorrow..." He suggested

"yes..." You urged him to continue, a slight smile was playing on your lips

"Would you- and I know this is an odd question to ask but I do think we've been getting closer..."

"Oh get on with it!" You yelled

"Would you like to go the ball with me?"

"Yes, Yes I would." You laughed, he let out a breath of relief and hugged you.

"Oh thank Merlin, I thought you were also going to reject me."

"No way somebody rejected you!"

"Remember that girl I told you about?" you nodded, "Cho said she already had somebody else."

"I'm sorry Ced" You rested your hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

"It's alright (y/n), now I get to go with somebody better." He playfully pushed you. "Hey! I just realized I was your second choice, you twat!" She joked and pushed back.

"I will never forgive you for this Diggory!" You said dramatically pretending to swoon. He played along, grabbing your hand, pulling you closer to him. "Oh, how must I redeem myself."

"It cannot be done" You continued the act by pretending to ignore him.

"How about butterbeer on me?" You glanced at him. "Done."

"Cool, I'll meet you at the stairs by the great hall before the ball starts, remember the champions walk and all that."

"Alright."

~~~

You were nervous as you walked down the steps to the great hall to meet up with your date. It was a magical moment, he had his back to you. He hadn't noticed you were coming down until Parvarti Patil pointed you out. He turned around and grinned, reaching out a hand to help you from the steps.

"You look stunning." He complimented. A light blush spread on your cheeks as she thanked him.

You joined the other champions in a line with their dates. You saw Hermoine and Victor Krum together, in your mind you applauded Hermoine for scoring a date with the Durmstrang boy. During the ceremonial dance, the champions had to do with their dates you secretly tried to look for Draco through the crowd of students who were watching, but you couldn't find him. ' With Parkinson' you thought bitterly.

When people started to join in on the dancing with their partners you decided to excuse yourself to get a drink and hopefully cool the rage you felt when you thought of Draco and Pansy together. 'They were probably in a broom closet snogging' you internally rolled your eyes at that. Cedric came looking for you a little while after, asking if you were alright. "As good as I can be." You responded.

Cedrics brows furrowed. "What's wrong? Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?" he asked panicked, "No, no you're great." You sighed. "You're practically perfect and I don't wanna make you think I didn't enjoy spending time with you or that you're a second choice..."

"But you'd rather spend your time with some other guy?"

"Not the way I would've worded it. But yes, there's this guy that I really like, we were dating for while actually and..." You sighed again. "Nobody knew,  I wanted to tell people and he didn't so we broke up."

"And now your here with me." Cedric gave her a small smile. "Hey, listen it happens I'm glad we're here together even if it's just as friends."

You felt your heart lift up, no longer weighed down with guilt for leading him on. He put his arm around you, you let your head rest on his chest.

~~~

The night was almost coming to end half of the students already went up to bed, the other half was still dancing the night away. You and Cedric included, you shouted and jumped and actually danced, enjoying this time. You forgot about Draco for a period of time, ignoring him as he danced with Pansy. That is until Cedric excused himself to go to the restroom. Draco came up to you with a determined look on his face.

"Ditching dates now?" You commented.

"I left her with Blaise, she'll be fine." He shrugged. "Where'd Diggory go?"

"Bathroom." You tried to be dry in conversation so that he'd leave you alone.

"You sure he didn't ditch you?" He replies with a smirk. You scoffed, "Like you care."

"Contrary to your belief I do actually care about you."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"I'm tired of this Y/N, I love you and this time away from you has made me realize how much I need you."

"Then prove it."

[iunatiqe]

MY BEST FRIEND — s. stilinksi

“ youre my best friend and i love you “

pairing: stiles stilinski x gn! reader

!!! warnings: death threat, panic attack

word count: 2,311

     I CROSSED my arms over my chest securely as i walked, i was wearing one of stiles’s old sweatshirts that i had taken from him during a past sleepover during one of the chillier months. sleepovers used to be an often thing that the two of us did, having been best friends for so long, but they suddenly seemed to fade out of our schedule as lydia martin, a girl who had captured my best friends heart in the third grade, started actually acknowledging his presence. to be fair, lydia has no choice as stiles was one of the few people who knew about the supernatural world, a world that she was now part of while stiles and i remained the two humans in our friend group. 

      i didn’t have much against lydia, most of her faults of being rude and pushy were just a facade in which she wore to escape the torment of other high school students. i wish it wasn’t fake, upon getting to truly know her - i found that she was smart, caring, and a generally good person for the most part, it made her a lot harder to hate. i had hated her since the third grade, because while stiles fell in love with her. i fell in love with him. 

      it was a stupid cliche to fall in love with my best friend while he was infatuated with the pretty, popular girl. i felt like i was stuck in some dumb movie, but this wouldn’t end with him realising that i was always right for him, by the way things were looking now: it was much more plausible for him to end up with lydia rather me. i try to shake these remaining thought from my mind as i approach the stilinksi household, simply walking in like i was used to, making my way to stiles’s room. 

     just before i could make it, i slowed to a stop as i heard a female voice come from his room. i silenced myself as i listened in on the conversation. 

      “what do the different colored strings mean?” i could faintly hear, this was a definite moment where i wished i was a werewolf swimply to make the voices clearer, but even so- i could tell that it was lydia speaking, knowing that she was most likely talking about the strings that were skewed across the boys room in order to make his crime board. i would know, i helped hang some of it up. 

      “uh, just different stages of the investigation.” i heard stiles’s quick explanation, going on to tell the girl what all the colors meant and i could hear the pretty strawberry blonde girl in his room make a note of how the whole board was unsolved. i scoffed under my breath, stepping a bit closer as they changed the subject. nothing was wrong with their discussion, but it felt too late to just barge in, plus i knew that if i did then stiles would give me a look that meant he was upset with me for ruining his moment with dream girl. 

      “did you get detention for pulling the alarm?” the girl asked.

      “yep, everyday this week...it’s okay though, we were onto something.” 

     “even though we couldnt find any proof of barrow being there?”

      i was now glad again that i hadn’t barged in, since the tone of their talk took a quick change once stiles heard the worry in her voice, it became harder to hear as i imagined he calmed her in a low voice. a voice i was used to hearing myself when i needed comforting. 

      “you have been right every time something like this has happened, okay? so, dont start doubting yourself now.” 

      “no scent. no bomb..” she stayed silent for a moment, “and i got you in trouble.” 

       their voices got too low for me to hear again and i cursed silently, trying to imagine what he could be saying to her that would make her all gushy towards him out of nowhere. while also wishing that it was sitting on his bed as he whispered comforting words to me, just sitting with him and talking. suddenly, even their hushed whispers ceased before i heard quick footsteps coming my way. 

      i tried to act casual as they stopped in front of me. 

      “when did you get here?” stlies asked immediately, i gulped.

      “uh. i just walked in, why? did i miss something? where are we going?” i tried to deflect, and stiles was quick to believe me, offering me a small smile. though reassuring, it didn’t stop lydia from squinting her eyes at me, letting me know that she didn’t quite fall for my lie. i was lucky enough that she didn’t mention it aloud though. 

      “to the school, did you walk?” stiles continued our conversation, i nodded along as the three of us made our way to his jeep, with me crawling into the back so lydia could ride shotgun as stiles continued to fill me in on what we were doing and me acting like i knew we weren’t double checking the school for proof that barrow was there. 

----------

       soon enough, we arrived at the school and stiles was leading the way to the chemistry room as their biggest suspicion was the chemical closet. 

      lydia slowed and grabbed ahold of my sleeve to slow me down so we could talk discreetly.

      “listen, i don’t know how stiles can’t tell your lying, but i know that you were eavesdropping on our conversation. are you hiding something?” she accused making me shake my head. 

      “no, i just,” i sighed, “i didn’t want to disturb you guys, trust me, i would let you guys know if i had information to give.”

       lydia didn’t seem quite convinced as she watched me for a moment longer and i stared up ahead at the back of stiles’s head, not missing the small gasp that lydia let out.

       “you like stiles.” she stated proudly with a smile, my head turned quickly to look at her with eyes that pleaded with her to quiet down in case he could hear.

       “i do not, he’s my best friend.” i stated, “plus, you should know that he’s been hung up on you forever.” i brought, not feeling guilty for telling her since stiles was quite obvious with it anyways. i tried to quell my jealousy as i spoke so she couldn't pick it up, but all i heard was her scoff.

      “sure, best friend. as for stiles, i think that he likes you too.” i rolled my eyes and held back a laugh at her words.

      “yeah, right. i have as much of a chance with him that i do coach.” i joked. 

      “whatever you say,” lydia sighed out as we approached our destination and began to pick up our pace to be even with stiles, “but best friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.” she whispered with a wink before catching up with the boy in question. i frowned lightly as i followed pursuit, if this was supposed to be some joke - it wasn’t funny at all…

       i caught up with the pair as the three of us entered the chemistry classroom, “what are we even looking for?” i questioned, but was left unanswered as stiles made his way to the chemical closet and simply opened it. i felt the air around us get heavier. 

      “that’s supposed to be locked.” lydia mentioned, stiles let out a sigh. 

     “yeah, i know. notice anything else?”

      “it smells like chemicals…” lydia concluded, “they wouldn’t have been able to catch his scent.”

      i coughed awkwardly, “um, guys.” i brought their attention to me only to direct them to the pile of staples and blood next to stiles’ feet. “oh god, he probably stitched himself up.” i gagged.

       “so, he was here.” stiles sighed out, “and he was probably planning on killing someone.” he stood from his crouched position as we all made our way back into the main classroom.

      “but who?” lydia questioned, finding her way to the board as stiles glanced around the classroom for any other clues. i found myself standing next to lydia as she stared at the numbers on the blackboard.

      “what? does it mean something?” i asked her. 

      “its a formula.” she mumbled, “i bet it’s a clue.” she said before stepping closer. stiles came to stand next to me while lydia went on to explain how the numbers on the board were elements. she explained each letter until it came to an end and she had solved the puzzle. she stepped back to allow us to see what was on the board and i was sure that all of our werewolf friends could hear how fast my heart was beating from wherever they were as the clue was a name. my name.

      i could feel stiles tense up beside me, but everything else felt too still and quiet, but too fast to understand at the same time. i could feel my knees buckle underneath me, but strong hands wrapped around me, allowing me to fall softly to the ground with him.

      “hey, hey. it’s alright.” cames stiles’s soothing voice in my ear as he tried to calm me down, telling me that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. this wasn’t what i had meant when i mentioned i wanted to hear his soft voice calm me down - i was expecting more of a bad grade panic, not a death threat. this was new, i wasn’t supernatural, i wasn’t usually the one that stood in the eye of danger. so what did barrow want with me?

      i couldn’t feel any air enter my lungs and i began to heave, i could hear lydia and stiles arguing about what to do but i couldn't make out any of the words they were saying as i clutched onto stiles’s shirt. i figured that the two of them had come to an agreement on how to calm me as their buzzing voices stopped, stiles looked down at me and i expected him to try and break through my fuzzy hearing to help my breathing, what i didn’t expect was for him to stoop his head down and kiss me.

      albeit a bit shocked, i felt my body relax as i sunk into the kiss with him, but it was quickly ending as he pulled away and we stared into each others eyes. 

      lydia cleared her throat awkwardly to remind us that she was still there, i barely let my eyes flicker from the eyes of my best friend as i turned my attention to her.

      “holding your breath can help stop a panic attack,” she explained, “i figured that if stiles kissed you then you would hold your breath.” 

      i could feel stiles shift from next to me, “we- uh- should probably get going.” he switched the topic as he helped me back onto my feet. he gave me a look to question if i was still okay and i nodded, but he stayed next to me as we followed behind lydia now to the exit.

      “i’m sorry about kissing you.” he whispered, not glancing my way as he exited the classroom, i could sense he was nervous and i wondered why. i guess it was just uncomfortable to have to kiss your best friend while they were having a panic attack, but i figured that we were close enough that he could just dismiss it. maybe it was because it was all in front of lydia, the love of his life. 

      “it’s okay, i mean- it helped.” i brushed off the event, taking a short look at him. “and don’t worry, i bet it made lydia jealous enough to realize she’s madly in love with you.” i said dramatically to tease him, but his reaction was not what i predicted as he frowned lightly.

      “well,” stiles glanced ahead to lydia, “what if,” he continued as he noticed she was far enough away to not hear any more of our conversation and he finally looked at me, “what if i don’t really want to be with lydia?” he said softly, i saw his eyes flicker across my face as he tried to gather a reaction. 

      “what do you mean?” i let out a nervous, breathy laugh, “you not like lydia? that might be the biggest plot twist our lives have taken yet.” i joked again, stiles looked down at his feet dejectedly with a shake of his head.

       “i don’t think i ever really liked lydia.” he confessed, “i mean, i did for a while, but i don’t think that she was ever really the one that i wanted to be with.” he said, “and before you try to deflect this by joking about how im in love with scott then im just going to tell you- its you.” 

      “me?” 

      “you can just forget about it,” he changed, switching back to his quirky demeanor to reject anything else that i might say, he shot me a sad smile, “i just thought you should know. don’t let this ruin anything between us, okay? that’s exactly why i didn’t tell you.” he finalized before moving forward to catch up with our strawberry blonde friend, but i gripped the back of his shirt to pull him back and kissed him again. i can’t believe this idiot didn’t think that i was in love with him.

      after pulling away, i smiled up at him and finally met cheerful eyes. despite everything, we had one another and that’s all i needed to feel safe. we didn’t have to speak to understand each other as we both turned to meet up with lydia to fill in our friends with what we had found. i knew that everything would be okay with my best friend. 

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Remus is in the dorm screaming and pulling on his own hair while he cries.

“I trusted you! I fucking trusted you!! And what I hate the most is that I still love you, you asshole!” 

After the prank, and James and Peter are forced to listen to their friends’ brother’s cries at night because he cant sleep peacefully without the comforting presence of Sirius by his side. And they have to do everything they can to keep him from accidently hurting himself from fury and rage.

they dont think he’s going to make it to the next moon. A blue moon, because the fates are against him and there were 2 that month

--

Sirius hasn’t been seen much since the prank. He doesn’t come by the tower much anymore, when he does it’s for a change of clothes. No one ever sees him. One day his trunk disappears from the end of his bed.

It was getting too hard to go back every so often and hear his friends laughter as he waited outside the door for them to go to sleep.

--

James is worried. He forgave Sirius ages ago, even when he knows he shouldn’t have. But the guilt is destroying Sirius, he can see it. But he cant do anything about it. He had to pick a side and he picked Remus.

As much as he loves the werewolf as his brother, he hates to admit that he cares more for sirius. So now he’s stuck with deciding if he should stab someone in the back to save another.

He knows why Sirius did it, and his reasoning. It was reckless and stupid and cruel, but now it made sense as to why. 

--

Sirius has been staring at the wall for the past hour. He thinks it’s been an hour, time doesn’t feel very real. There’s nothing to fill it, no friends, no laughter, no people.

He’s finished his homework by now, he’s had it done hours ago. Now he just stares at the wall as the clock keeps ticking on.

The only coherent thought that circulates in his head if I fucked up. He hates me and it’s my fault.

It’s not the first night that Sirius falls asleep with tear tracks on his face. It doesn’t matter, no one knows where to find him anyways.

--

They can’t find him, Sirius.

Remus has been looking. He knows he shouldn’t he knows he should hate shim. But he can’t. Not when he’s in love with the idiot. James has started to help too, both of them scanning every room that they enter.

But they can’t find that mop of black hair anywhere. He’s not in the dorm, the dining hall, or any classes. They’ve check the astronomy tower a thousand times over but he’s just gone.

The map has disappeared a long with him. Sirius obviously doesn’t want to be found.

--

The stars seem dimmer. They have been for a while now. James sits in the quidditch stands. It’s long after curfew, but sometimes he has to escape too.

it’s hard acting like everything is okay all the time for his friends when he’s crumbling inside. He hasn’t seen his best friend in weeks, going onto a month. They’ve never gone this long without talking, much less seeing each other. 

He just wants to make sure he’s okay, and not off dead in a ditch somewhere. He knows Sirius can dig himself into a ditch when he wants. He blames himself for everything, or blows things out of proportion.

A lot.

He’s worries, so beyond worried at this point. He isn’t sure if that worry lessens or increases when he sees a thing dog gallop across the quidditch pitch in the dark.

--

Sirius doesn’t sleep much at night anymore. He doesn’t sleep much in general, not unless he can’t help it. Unless he’s exhausted and will collapse if he doesn’t sleep now. 

Sometimes at night he turns into Padfoot and just runs. He’s always hoped since he was young that if he could run fast enough, that he’d be able to leave, and escape.

But he’s never had the heart to. Not since he’s met the rest of the Marauders. They were the first people he saw as family. Real family, people who loved him and wanted to be around him.

But he fucked that up. He lost them, and they never wanted to see him again.

He had to accept it.

Sirius grew up around people who didn’t want him. He thought his family were just ignorant prats, but it turns out that maybe, it was his fault. He really is an unlovable mutt.

--

James shot up onto his feet. But the dog was already lost into the forest. At least James knew he was alive, but it wasn’t enough. Something didn’t see right, the dog was too skinny. His ribcage didn’t use to stick out that much...

--

Remus paced his dorm. He had to find Sirius. He had to find him, he had to find him, he had to find him.

James told him about what he saw that night, about the skinny, sickly looking dog. He wouldn’t let Sirius ruin himself because of him. He loved him more than he wanted to admit.

He would find him.

--

Sirius collapsed just on the edge of the forbidden forest, by Hagrid's hut. He was chased by the centaurs, again. It gave him a a thrill that he couldn’t get anymore. Made him feel alive.

Although it always left him dead tired. Sometimes it was good, it means he was able to get to sleep that night. But dawn was breaking at and the sun was rising over the trees. It wouldn’t be long before someone found him.

He barely registers the fact the he turned back to human form as his eyes drift shut.

--

Hagrid finds him that morning. This boy who is usually larger than life, with a smile that is blinding, was reduced to skin and bones, with matted hair in just a few weeks.

He lifts the all too light boy and makes his way to the Hospital Wing.

--

Sirius wakes up to white walls and bright lights.

It smells an awful lot like antiseptic and potions. He hates it because he can recognize where he is immediately. 

He’s grateful that none of his friends—no, not friends. Classmates— aren’t there. He doesn’t expect them to be, although it still kind of hurts seeing as they don’t care.

--

The others weren’t told that Sirius was in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomphrey didn’t think they’d want to know, nor would they care. She sees the way Sirius has changed. How skinny and underweight he is.

No doubt they’re the cause for this change. They’re the ones that shunned and exiled him.

Although their responses weren’t uncalled for. She herself was reluctant to treat the boy at first, knowing how he hurt Remus.

But this was far more serious then she had originally thought.

--

The only reason that James found out where Sirius was there was because he had to help bring a quidditch teammate. Their keeper blocked a shot wrong and sprained his wrist. There was an upcoming match against Slytherin this weekend, so he wasn’t taking any risks.

He saw Sirius laying unconscious in the hospital bed. Well he thought he was unconscious.

--

Sirius woke to James’ voice. He hasn’t heard that voice in so long. He misses him.

His eyes stayed shut, he wonders if he had opened them would James have stayed?

He heard James’ look curse, before heavy footsteps and the door to the Hospital Wing slamming shut. He can’t help but be disappointed that even just his appearance is enough to make someone flee.

--

Remus is seething by the time he gets down all the stair cases and reaches the hospital wing. James had rushed up to tell him that Sirius was there and he was breathing.

He wasn’t in the best of shape but he would be okay. They could help him and make him okay, even just a little bit to make him feel better.

The door to the Hospital Wing swung open as Remus and James storm in.

--

Sirius startles from where he’s trying to fall back asleep. He wasn’t being very successful anyways. 

He sits up quickly, looking towards the source of the sound. His head is pounding slightly and his vision dances before his eyes before blacking out for a moment from sitting up too fast. 

When it clears, he can finally see. And what he sees terrifies him.

Both James and Remus are storming towards him, a matching unreadable expression covering their faces.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to shrink up and melt into the Hospital bed.

--

“The hell were you thinking Black??” James’ voice was loud, he only ever yelled when he was joking or really fucking pissed. Sirius didn’t think it was the former with his luck.

He flinched away from the voice,

This was the first time he’s been addressed in a long time. The first time someone was actually trying to communicate with him in something other than glares in weeks.

But you deserve this. They hate you. They should hate you, you fucked up. You shouldn’t be here, lying in this bed. You don’t deserve it.

He tried to get the voice in his head to shut up, but it wouldn’t. It was right anyways.

--

Remus looked at his best friend. Someone he used to call his boyfriend. He wished he still did.

Sirius looked tiny in that bed. Like a spooked animal with wide eyes, frantically looking around for an escape. He merely shrugged at James’ question, eyes dropping down at his hands as to not have to look at them.

Remus’ heart broke.

I did this. He thought. I love him so much and yet this is my fault. I reduced him to-to this!

--

James didn’t know who he was more mad at. Sirius or himself.

Then again, Sirius only did what they asked. They told him to stay away, to stop talking because they didn’t want to hear it. 

Sirius really couldn’t be blamed for running.

--

They spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing. Making sure Sirius stayed and ate, and maybe one day he be okay.

Sirius couldn’t believe it when they said he was welcomed back. That they didn’t hate him. He cried.

He got his friends back that day, he had his family again.

Madam Pomphrey was relieved to see the gang back together again. Although she might be seeing Mr. Snape a lot more...

[sunlightwriter]

The Umbra Trilogy: Dusk ☽ Chapter One

First Draft Word Count: 2,479 words

and the first draft version of chapter one is done! i gotta do some editing after i type it up bc my grammar is atrocious on the first writing sometimes i dont think i’d be able to edit it later bc i don’t understand what i wanted to say dsflkdsmklf but! fortunately i got some for you guys to read!

for this chapter, it’s mostly just exposition as umbrian enjoys a nice day out on the town! with a hint of sweetness as him and valentine chatter :) then we end of with some suspense and action!! woohoo! i jumped the gun and had a really bad first chapter when i went for this during camp nano but i’m hoping my writing this time will be better as i do it for myself dslkmfmslkdf

below the cut contains some snippets, commentary & the taglist!

People say every month the Knight’s Station, which usually sits empty, would get a visitor from the knight who was supposed to be watching over this merchant town. On that day, the knight would go in, fill out some logbooks, then promptly leave, much richer than before.

this is the opening few lines! gives an idea of the corruption thats been spreading through the kingdoms in a very specific way that affects the lives of our protagonists since they yknow, live there.

The items that came through this town were always wildly different; anything from replicas of foreign art to intricate handmade jewelery, to an ancient tome of a book that holds pages full of coded glyphs. In a way, it was the view of the outside that he often missed out on. Initially stuck to his home in the castle years ago, now instead stuck to the inside of his and Valentine’s dingy apartment, hiding from any prying eyes that would jump at the riches that bringing in Umbrian to the bloodthirsty knights would bring. Even that thought couldn’t stop him from enjoying himself, however.

this section here introduces us more to the life that our protag, umbrian the prince, lives now after his kingdom fell years ago. i include something similar later that is just that twilight sparkle ‘god i love books’ image but with umbrian. god he loves books.

As they continued on, Valentine looked up at the sky, watching the sun dance along the rooftops. The late afternoon sunbeams came down in warm pillars, occasionally make it hard to see ahead of himself. “It’s starting to get late. We should be getting home before it gets too dark,” Valentine said before Umbrian could zip off to the next store.

The Prince turned to look at him, lips pulling forward in a pout. “Aw, can we just go to one more place? I really like that cafe we went to. The one that sells those nice teas?” he pleaded, forest green eyes nearly unnoticeable under the dark of his hood.

Valentine stared after the Prince for a while, orchid coloured eyes softening after a moment with a sigh. “Okay, just for a few minutes,” he relented, before adding with a smile, “I think they’re having a sale on teas, actually.”

Umbrian broke into a grin, nearly hopping in place, items clattering together in the box he held in his arms. “Oh! And maybe I can treat us to some of their pastries,” he added in excitement. “I want another one of those little sponge cakes they make!”

i love writing umbrian & valentine interacting so much!! i gotta hold myself back from just straight up making them seem like a married couple bc their thing is yknow..... not being together yet. theyre always so sweet though! i love that valentine is constantly so kind with him ughhhh its sickening anyways

As they left the building, they hurried along at a brisk pace, Valentine looking over his shoulder at they hurried down the street. Valentine muttered a curse under his breath as they turned the corner. “They’re following. Just one person, looks like,” he cautioned, gaze darting from behind them, back to the path in front of them before urging Umbrian down an alleyway. “Here, this way.”

Umbrian pressed himself against the wall as he watched Valentine carefully set aside the load he was carrying and motion for him to hide. As Valentine readied himself at the corner, ready for the person to catch up to them, pulling a hidden dagger from a holster under his cloak, Umbrian’s heart pounded in his ears. His feet stayed planted firmly in the ground as he pressed himself further against the brick wall, wishing he could disappear into it, but for now, all he could manage is a quiet spell, lengthening the shadows around him to conceal his hiding spot.

this takes place not long after theyre recognized by someone in that same cafe.... ruh roh! this scene kinda gets more into the dedication valentine has even so many years since he initially became a knight then got even more than he bargained for. i also hope this gets the tension across well, the whiplash from chillin’ to fearin’ within minutes...

that’s what i got for a preview! i wonder who the mysterious stranger following them is...? well, i think i’ve said who it is before but if ur new here / don’t have me on discord it’ll be a fun surprise for next chapter!

☽ Taglist:

@marimos​​ @dallonswords​​ @childhoodlovers​​ @svpphicwrites​​ @aphaimaniis​​ @ziyin​​ @piyawrites​​ @florraisons​​ @the-marshmallow-vamp​​

[dubersbutt]

can there be a second part of pld and the cheating girl? if not totally understand! i love your writing

TW: cheating

Lol I may or may not have gotten carried away this one

The Drabble in question can be found here 

You let yourself slump against the steering wheel once you pulled into the parking lot. You just got off the phone with your boyfriend after fighting about something stupid. You’ve been dating for a year now, and lately you just couldn’t stop fighting. Every little thing he did upset you, and vice versa.

You made yourself take five minutes to collect yourself before you get out of the car to go to work. When you walk into your physio office you set your bag down and start to get into your routine of spraying and wiping down the table before the boys start rolling in. You’re working on three of the boys today before their game. 

The first two come through with no issues and their normal routines. But you sighed when it came time for the third. Pierre-Luc Dubois - tall, muscular, and the reason for your current relationship problems. A few weeks ago one of your friends had come over for a girls night. A few glasses of wine later, your tipsy brain had let it slip that you found him very attractive. Unbeknownst to you, Sam was listening from your shared bedroom. From that moment, until the you stumbled up to the room, he had convinced himself that you were cheating on him - apparently not liking that your job consisted of having your hands on half naked men all day. He confronted you the next day. It took you awhile to convince him that it wasn’t true, but he eventually believed you. However, it still came up once in a while. 

This morning he made a side comment about keeping your hands to yourself and you may or may not have lost it on him. You spent the whole drive thinking about how you were going to break up with Sam once you got home after the game. You ran through different scenarios in your head while you worked on Boone Jenner; would he take it well? Would he scream? Then you thought about who would gain custody of your puppy. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” Pl says when he walks in.

“Hi Pl,” you respond, “Take your shirt off and sit on the bed,” you say as you turn and see he has already done so. 

He grins at you and you roll your eyes, “Hockey players, you’re all nudists.” 

“You don’t enjoy the view?” He says as he stretches on the exam bed. You have to tear your eyes away from the pale expanse of skin after you’ve been looking for probably a little too long. 

You roll your eyes again to play it off before you start working on his shoulders. You are a professional, you’re used to the feel of taunt muscles under your hands but Pierre is just so damn good looking you let your mind wander. You think about what it would be like to run your hands under his body in a different circumstance, one where you could lean down, kiss the exposed skin of his throat, run your nails down his abs. 

“You alright, (Y/N),” he asks, “Your grip is a little tighter than usual.” 

“Sorry,” you apologize hastily, pulling your arms back quickly, “Just a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“It’s alright,” he says, “Anything you need to talk about.” 

When you give him a look he flashes a smile at you, “C’mon, we’re friends, aren’t we.” 

“I think I’m contractually obligated to say no.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” he grins, and his stupid smile wears you down.

“It’s nothing, just men really suck sometimes,” you say before you realize your talking to a man, “sorry.”

“Nah, I get it. I just got of the phone with my sister and she just gave me the ‘all men are trash’ speech.” 

You laugh and change the subject before finishing Pl’s session. 

~~~

Since you have to be there for the game you go for lunch with some of your colleagues instead of going home. You knew that Sam got the afternoon off today, and you were planning on spending time with him this morning, but now you have no desire to see his face.

By the time the game rolls around you do your pregame checks and ensure everyone is ready to go. Once puck drops you can relax, your job is done until the end. 

The jackets win 5-3 and you join the boys for a quick celly in the lockers before you need to get back to your office and prep for the boys post-game checkups. Cam is first, wanting to check his shoulder quickly before going to his family. When the next person arrives you’re surprised.

“Pl, Were you scheduled with me?”

“No,” he says. He’s panting a bit, like he ran here, “Boone’s on his way, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you.” 

You just cock your head at him in confusion.

He walks closer to you, getting closer. You know you should back away, create space between the two of you, but you don’t want to. You let him get closer until hes inches away from you, let him hold your hands in his. 

“I mean,” he leans close enough for you to feel his breath on your face, “I’m here if you ever want to...talk.” 

You think he’s going to lean in all the way and kiss you. Do the one thing you’ve thought about since you first saw him, but he pulls away when he’s centimetres away from your lips.  He starts walking to the door, and you’re calling out to him before you can stop yourself.

“Pierre,” you call, “I’m parked in the employee parking garage, by the lamppost.  Meet me by my car, I’ll be 20 minutes, 30 tops.” 

He gives you a small smile and a nod before he leaves. You lean against the desk to take some deep breathes to control yourself. Sam was basically your ex at this point. Spending the night with Pierre wasn’t cheating if you were going to break up with him right after, right? All these thoughts keep running through your head until you hear Boone knock at the door. 

~~~ 

When you get out to the parking lot Pl is inside of his car, now pulled next to yours. He drove a spacious SUV - which might have been odd considering he was single with no kids, but perfect for your plans. When he sees you he steps out of the car. 

As soon as you get near him you fist his jacket and pull him down to kiss you. He’s taken aback at first, but kisses you back with the same passion, pushing you back against his car. You reach behind you, fumbling until you can feel the door handle, and falling inside. His car is, thankfully, warm and the backseat provides enough space for your plans.

Once Pl is settled underneath you, you lean down to kiss him again, gripping the short hairs on the back of his neck. 

“Fuck,” he grunts when you grind down on his lap, “You’re so fucking hot. I’ve wanted to do this since I’ve met you.” 

He leans up, kissing your neck. He trails down and unbuttons your dress shirt on his way down. You grind down on his thigh again you stop him.

“Take off your pants,” you command, “I’ve been horny for hours, I just want your dick.” 

He laughs but undoes his belt, but faulters when he starts on his zipper, “Fuck, do you have a condom?” 

You pull one from your jacket pocket, “I swiped one from the supply closet.”

“Those are in there?” He asks as he takes the packet from you.

“I dont buy the supplies, I just use them.” 

He gets the condom on and holds your hips while you lower yourself on. You let a deep breath as he bottoms out.

“Fuuuck,” you moan, “Your dick is so big, you’re going to have to give me a minute.” 

“Take all the time you need,” he murmurs as he kisses your neck. He notices the way you moan when he kisses behind your ear so he does it again, scraping his teeth against it. His fingers rub along your hips as you star to rock back and forth. 

You clench around him and he has to dig his nais into his palm to get a grip on reality again. He thrusts up to meet your hips, taking control back and setting the pace. He sets a quick pace, both of you too wound to take your time. Your hand comes down to brace yourself on the seat next to him. Your hair falls in your face, he reaches up to move it so he can lean up to kiss you. 

He reaches between you to circle your clit. You moan, the sound muffled by his kiss. 

“Pierre,” you moan as you feel that familiar pressure building up, “Don’t stop, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it baby,” he says.

A few thrusts later you’re cumming with a scream, biting down on Pl’s shoulder to muffle the noise. You fall limp against him, letting fuck you until he follows. You stay in the backseat, breathing heavy, lying against Pierre as you try to collect yourselves. 

“You know,” Pierre says as after a few moments, “I thought you were just going to invite me for drinks.”

You laugh as you pull away from him, giving him a quick peck, “So was this as good as drinks?”

“Way, way better,” he says leaning up to kiss you again. 

You make out for a few more minutes before you decide leaving is absolutely mandatory. You put his number in your phone before you finally get on the road to your apartment. 

On the drive there you start to feel guilty. Sam never treated you wrong before, was always a god boyfriend - minus the last month. But you decided it was poetic; he thought you were cheating on him with pl but you only did because he was an ass. 

When you get home he’s sleeping on the couch with your puppy in his arms, the TV playing quietly in the background. There’s some take out containers on the coffe table in front of him.

You grab the remote from under him, walking him up.

“Hey,” he says quietly when he recognizes you, “you’re home late.”

“Yeah, Boone’s hip took more time than anticipated,” you lie smoothly, “And I swear I kept my hands to myself.”

He presses his mouth into a thin line, “Fuck, I’m sorry about that.”

You roll your eyes as you move to pet your puppy but he catches your hand and looks at you with remorse, “I mean it. I don’t know what’s gotten into me these past few weeks. I’m so so sorry. When you didn’t show up for lunch today I realized I’ve been such a stupid jerk.”

“Yeah, you have been,” you say, fully intending to tell him off but something stops you when you look a him. 

“No I mean it, I’m sorry,” he says as he grabs your hand, “I really hope you can forgive me. I was stupid and jealous and I was acting way out of line.” 

You have to take a deep breath.

“Let’s put it past us, okay? let’s just move on. I know you’d never cheat on me, and I’d never cheat on you.”

“Okay.”

His face lights up, “Really?”

You nod your head, “I’m willing to give this another shot if you are.”

You bite your lip nervously as he pulls you in for a hug. He pulls you on top of his lap to give you a kiss and your muscles start to feel heavy with guilt. He starts to deepen the kiss but you have to pull away. 

“Sam, baby, I’d love to but I’m really tired. I’ve had an extremely long day.”

He nods his head standing up and pulling you with him, “Of course, let’s go to bed.” 

You plug your phone into the charger when you notice you have one message notification. 

Pierre: Tonight was fun, but let me take you on a date so we can do it again 

[hollyhomburg]

*bows in your presence* THOSE SANDCASTLE SNIPPETS WE ARE NOT WORTHY

because you most definitly are worthy! here are some more! be mindful of the tags in this one

SANDCASTLES: SNIPPETS IN SEQUENCE (4)(yoonminjoonseok x Reader) (omegaverse au)

TAGS: anorexia, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism mention, themes of addiction, themes of attempted suicide, toxic mindsets, alpha! namjoon, Alpha! hoseok, Alpha! yoongi, Omega! jimin, Omega! reader

summary: after you leave, their relationship falls apart- and each of them chooses a different vice in your absence. 

a/n: please be mindful of your triggers for this snippet, some of its pretty heavy. i meant to be more verbal about jimin’s anorexia in the begining of the story but forgot, so it’s mentioned here because this section was actually written first in the whole story. the chareters in this dont always act in the best way- just fyi, they’re not always going to act well in this part especially. 

- Because the apartment inside doesn’t feel like it used to- try as he might it doesn’t feel like home anymore, because you’re not there and everything is slowly falling apart- has been for months, and now Jimin feels like he’s falling apart too. slowly, the loneliness and missing you cracking open his chest day by day. 

- It feels like he’s been watching a train wreck in slow motion since you left. and he can’t honestly say that he hasn’t missed you or thought about you- every single day. 

- Yoongi still produces songs- but only does so when he’s sober, which isn’t very often anymore. 

- Most of the time Jimin can find him in one of the bars down the street. jimin braves them to get his boyfriend back as The alphas leer at the pretty and tiny blond omega that’s just looking for his boyfriend. Most nights, Yoongi puts himself so deep in the bottle he can’t feel his toes anymore let alone how much his heart hurts. 

- Sometimes, when the rooms spinning so bad, Yoongi can almost feel what it felt like to kiss you like he’s completely knocked off his feet. he remembers feeling so strung out and intoxicated. and even whiskey is a poor comparison to what it felt like to kiss you.  

- He still feels something like that when Jimin picks him up off the barstool and settles his tab. Even when he leans into his omega’s neck and runs his nose across his pulse point. Yoongi giggles. He always giggles when he’s drunk.

- He thinks about the fact that you left them and he laughs,  he thinks about the fact that Namjoon hasn’t been home in 3 days and he laughs, he takes a look in the mirror and he laughs until he can’t breathe because how the hell does someone fuck up this bad?

- Out of all of them Hoseok is definitely the most straight up depressed. At first, he was fine- emboldened maybe, he didn’t stop at trying to find you for the first month, texting you a full-on a letter every day, every time he was reminded of you. pictures and anything, anything to feel like it wasn’t too late. anything to feel like he was doing something- and not just watching the rest of their relationship fall apart.  He even walked around at night in the hope of running into you, even though he knew in all likely hood you weren’t even in the same city anymore. 

- Hoseok has said he’s sorry more times than he thinks he ever told you he loved you, and says sorry to Namjoon and yoongi and to jimin again and again, as many times as he can. jimin ignores hoseok at first, he dosent want to hear it- he dosent want to hear that hoseok loves him even, especially since he knows what that love has cost him. 

- Jimin stays angry at him for the first month, but then one night he comes in from his walk, smelling like the warm summer and the city air, and they both crumple into each other holding on until their fingernails leave half-moons in each other’s skin. Hoseok knows that he just can’t hold hoseok at arms lenght anymore- as much as Hoseok hurt them and hurt you Jimin needs him. jimin can’t hate hoseok- as much as he might want to. 

- But then- with the studio that practically runs it’s self as his only reason for getting out of the house, he starts spending a lot more time indoors, and when he’s home he’s never watching TV, he’s too emotionally tired and exhausted to move, so he just lies in bed, wishing that he would disappear, wishing that someone would lock him away somewhere cold and quiet where he couldn’t hurt the people he loves anymore. He deserves it. even if Jimin hasn’t repeated it since that night, that fucking night, he knows he’s not really worth this love anymore. 

- He knows the others know- maybe he’s just too pathetic right now to break up with. Maybe they’re just waiting until he’s more stable. 

- Sometimes Jimin convinces him to come to the kitchen when Namjoon’s home. Hoseok doesn’t smile like he used to, and Jimin finds him more than once- his eyes lingering too long on something sharp. or he flinches when Namjoon turns the news on- on one of the rare days where he came home to shower or sleep in their apartment. 

- But he only flinches as acts cagey during certian times, Jimin realizes one day, his blood running cold. he only acts that way When they mention suicide. 

- Jimin pays closer attention to Hoseok. 

- Namjoon has basically started living at his office, though he hardly ever sleeps there- or sleeps at all. No matter how many people are in the bed at home it always feels too cold. So Namjoon substitutes actual energy with coffee and as much casework as he can logically handle, it doesn't matter what hour it is as long as he’s working and his mind is free of thoughts of you. 

- Jimin is a frequent spectator in his office as he watches Namjoon slowly turn from anxious and angry to sad. He brings him food when he thinks he might be forgetting to eat and brings him a pair of clothes when he doesn't come home for long stretches. Every time namjoon’s secretary thanks jimin.

-  Until one time she asks about you- it’s been a while since she anyone other tht jimin and Jimin devolves into sobs so quickly that he can't even speak. Namjoon is at the door, pulling off his tie in a single motion. as he answers his secretary with as soft a voice as he can before he takes jimin back into his office. “y/n left us 2 months ago”

- Jimin spends the rest of the day curled up in the hollow of namjoon’s couch, the settet in his office usually meant for his clients. looking out the window as the city slowly turns from balmy summer day into cool night. 

- Namjoon wakes him with a kiss on his cheek and a quiet smile, “let's go back, yeah?” Jimin can't help but notice how not even Namjoon uses the word home anymore. 

- Namjoon comes home with jimin that night, for the first time in nearly a week he steps inside his own home. Jimin quickly goes to use the restroom while Namjoon takes off his shoes and hangs up his expensive suit jacket.  

- Jimin finds Yoongi passed out on the bathroom floor- but peculiarly a blanket over his shoulders and a cold towel on his neck as he snores softly. Jimin’s puzzled for a moment before he realizes that it must have been left by Hoseok. 

- In the darkness of the apartment Namjoon registers Hoseok on the balcony. At first he thinks it’s strange that he didn’t bother to turn the light on, not looking at the sky but looking at the ground with a feeling like longing.  

- Namjoon put’s two and two together- and it feels like someone’s just electro shocked his heart back to life after a heart attack. 

- “Hobi!” Namjoon wrenches open the balcony door, dragging Hoseok back into the living room, arms around his shoulders. He lets out a single aborted whine but   moves with him. Moves lifelessly, his eyes still dropped looking empty and so desolate.

- “What are you thinking about Hoseok? Where you going to-” his throat closes around the word, as namjoon gently sits him  down on the couch and paces. trying not to let his ajitation show. Jimin comes at the shout, and when Namjoon berates Hoseok he watches with wide eyes, and puts two and two togeather.  

- “Where you going to jump?” jimin says in a quiet voice- because fuck, he almost screwed up again and Hoseok flinches and looks away from them- and it’s as much on an admission as they need. His fingers tightening into fists. “i was going to- i was just thinking-” he rubs angrily at the furious tears, fuck this right now- this is also his fault. hoseok just keeps fucking up dosent he. 

- Jimin and Namjoon yell at him but he never gives it up. Never tells them that he was surely thinking about jumping, any more than that. The next day Namjoon takes a day off work and installs a lock on the balcony door. it might not be the most- personal aproach, but he dosen’t know what elce to do. 

- he puts the key next to your old key in your mug that still sits on the mantle, growing dusty. So that if Hoseok wants to unlock the balcony again he’ll have to look at pictures of all of them. And realize what he’ll be leaving if he does it. 

- They sign Hoseok up for therapy, and they make him go, even if its not healthy. 

- Jimin ferries himself in-between everyone, His caregiver instincts are thrown into overdrive in general. Occasionally when Namjoon comes home early in the morning or very late at night he finds jimin cringing over a dinner he’d made hours ago, not a single bite eaten. 

- And every single time Jimin asks Namjoon “are you leaving us too hyung?” and every time Namjoon answers that no, of course he’s not.  But the omega’s sense of self-esteem has been ruined by the last few months, and now he doesn’t believe Namjoon, not the second time he says it or the third or the tenth.

- His emotions are sharp, and in the time since you’ve left- without even a text to let jimin know you where alive-  Jimin starts to wonder if it could be his fault that you left. Maybe he didn’t love you enough- fuck his past self for ever choosing hoseok over you, even in the lsight way he had during your argument. Maybe you were his other half and he wasn’t yours. 

- Maybe if he had been a skinnier- or prettier boyfriend you wouldn’t have left him. Maybe it was too late to get you back, but it wasn’t too late to make sure the others never left. he couldn’t take care of you well enough to keep you then he certainly isn’t going to be careless enough to lose anyone else. 

- Jimin has always been good at hiding things- he hid his feelings for you for ages for peat's sake. And it’s not like it’s really hard to hide the fact that he’s not eating. Yoongi’s too drunk half the time to notice anything but a bottle and Hoseok is so wrapped up in his own self hate that he doesn’t notice that Jimin never eats with him anymore.  The only one who he really has to hide from is Namjoon, but he’s home so irregularly that It’s not hard to say that he ate at a reasonable time, and it’s even easier for Namjoon to believe him when he says that. 

- But he’s stringing himself out and Namjoon can see that, not the anorexia that’s come back to jimin, but the tiredness. jimin is so exhausted, he always wears one of the alphas sweaters, to keep away the cool chill that hasn’t left him. it could just be his anorexia, but jimin really hasn’t felt warm since you left.    - Even Yoongi can in the few moments that he’s sober anymore and Jimin isn’t running a hand down his back as he vomits his guts up into a toilet, when a hangover isn’t dragging him down into the ocean of sadness like a led weight and Yoongi confides himself to the bed and subsequently, Hoseok’s arms.  

- But he sees the bags hanging on Jimin's eyes. and similarly, Yoongi’s hands start to shake in the morning. Jimin notices.

- They try to convince Yoongi to stop drinking. This results in more than one terrible fight that ends with Yoongi breaking glasses and slamming a door. But Jimin still washes the vomit off of him in the mornings. This time with Namjoon helping him pull the rapper into bed. 

- The therapy slowly starts to help Hoseok get out of bed more. Soon Jimin doesn’t have to bribe him with waffles or pancakes or a stop at an ice-cream store on their way home, (Jimin is determined to feed Hoseok even if he can't quite muster himself to eat most days) and soon Namjoon and Jimin don’t even have to walk him to the meetings too make sure he goes. he gets on medication, and it helps. it really does. 4 months after you leave, hoseok can belive most days, that it’s going to be okay. 

- in the evenings, he and jimin sit on the couch, and talk about you more than they ever did when you where here, the memories that they don’t want to forget, the happy times. both of them make kisses out of their sad smiles. at least until they decide it’s time to go get yoongi. he usually never lets them drag him out of a bar if its before 1am. sometimes, hoseok goes with him just to keep track of him.  

- Namjoon makes the decision to take less casework when he sees how his family is falling apart with Jimin barely keeping them afloat. Namjoon tells him how thankful he is, and apologizes one night when they’re walking to drag Yoongi back from a bar. Only to be startled out of the most intimate conversation they’ve had in months by a tangle of shouts and the unmistakable sound of a fist hitting a face with fervor. 

- They run into Yoongi’s usual bar, Omela’s, to find him grinning and laughing with a split lip and saying, “come on? Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to fight I’m sure you can hit harder than-“ they both watch with horror, frozen as Yoongi gets hit again, the sound a crack as Yoongi chuckles through the blood in his mouth. Namjoon holds the other man back as Jimin picks Yoongi up through his tears and tries to steady him, dragging him out of the door with his limited strength, his arms protesting, atrophied. 

- as Namjoon bites his tongue and manages to placate the bartenders, bouncers, and the other man who’s getting dragged out of the bar too. Namjoon takes Yoongi from Jimin just as black spots start to dance in his vision, in the same moment that Yoongi decides to vomit on Jimin’s shirt.

- “I’m sorry minnie” Yoongi says, so delirious at this point that he doesn't realize that he’s changed hands. looking up at namjoon and licking at his bloody lip, “oh! joonie!” 

-Jimin wipes his hands on the concrete before he groans and just asks to go home. Hoseok materializes in the doorway with a broom when they spill inside. lately, he’s taken to cleaning as a way to distract himself and drops everything to help Namjoon get yoongi to the bathroom without getting throw up on the walls. dabbing at his split lip with a cold cloth. 

- Tired in the entryway, jimin’s so lethargic that he takes his shirt off right there, after toeing off his shoes. He throws it away, electing that the thick sweater was not worth saving, it’s yoongis- so jimin cant imagine he’ll get angry at jimin for throwing it out. He goes to their walk-in closet so delirious as his eyes drift to your side of the closet. 

- It’s still empty after all these months, with only Namjoon’s old sweatshirt hanging, and the shirt of jimin’s that you loved to wear to sleep folded on your shelf. Jimin picks it up, thinking for a moment, wondering if he should let you go and wear It again. maybe holding onto you in his memory is worse then letting you go. 

- In the quietness of his contemplation he doesn’t hear Hoseok walking behind him, he’s carefully holding an overfull cup of tea, as his eyes flicker up to look at jimin’s bare body, he slips, the cup dropping to the floor in shock. 

- its been months since hoseok has seen jimin without a shirt. and Hoseok can see every single one of jimin’s ribs. his sternum a sharp plank, his skinny jeans that used to be so tight they were almost painful are hanging off his hips attached only by the tightest setting on his belt. Jimin turns, sees Hoseok standing there open-mouthed, a single tear slipping out of the side of his face, Jimin scrambles to tug a baggy black sweatshirt over his shoulders and push past Hoseok without looking at him. 

- This starts their worst fight in months when Hoseok follows jimin to the kitchen, and Jimin tries to throw off hoseok’s hands as he shouts at him to stop for a second. Namjoon and even yoongi hear, though Namjoon puts yoongi in  bed (and on his side) before he goes to see what this fight is about. Namjoon and Hoseok argue with Jimin late into the next day, finally convincing him to at least take some supplements before he goes to bed. 

- “I'm really fine- theres nothing to worry about.” And “I’m perfectly healthy Hyung” and “stop being so fucking overbearing” are things that get said before they finally convince him to at least take some supplements before he goes to bed. 

- when he wakes up he finds a plate full of his favorite fruits and vegetables (they know him well enough that they won't try to give him protein this early in the recovery process- the first time they had helped him through this it had taken him a month to even eat something as colorie heavy as eggs)

- Hoseok sits with him until he’s finished at least half of it.  

- Despite the fact that Namjoon’s really the only one left on even ground, Hoseok steps in to watch Jimin, even managing to convince him to go to therapy a few times, though it’s short-lived, because if there’s one thing that Jimin hates more than anything it’s someone that doesn’t know him butting into his personal business.

- Like Hoseok, Jimin slowly gets better. In the mornings: Hoseok slowly runs his hands over Jimin's sides, a way to remind himself that he has people who are counting on him, and he can’t slip into the dark place of self-loathing he was in before. Though he’s not really out- he still has the days where he finds himself staring at the balcony door and the days where he couldn’t get out of bed. 

- Hoseok talks to Namjoon about moving, and they decide that yes- it’s time for a move for all of them. 

- And they find an actual house, one that’s a little way out of the city but surprisingly not so much longer of a commute with the train station being just down the street, with lots of windows and a balcony like before (but on ground level) and even a garage, as well as a small vegetable garden in the back. There's two spare rooms- one that Namjoon plans on making into a studio for yoongi- not that he’ll really use it. 

- Yoongi grumbles through the entirety of it- he’s the only one who’s against the move at first- he’s reluctant to move so far away from the bars, he’s lost a lot of weight too, especially since he’s been vomiting up more than usual. All it takes is a few drinks.

- Jimin understands it- kind of, how expelling food from one's body feels like purging bad thoughts and regaining just a little bit of control of this situation that they’ve all found themselves in. He hopes that restarting their life in a new location will help steady Yoongi. 

- they all have their addictions, for jimin it was starving himself, for Namjoon it was work, for yoongi is was alcohol, and for Hoseok it was sadness and self-hurt so deep he was determined to drown himself in it. to be so far submerged that he didn’t have to face the fact that he fucked up. It had taken him weeks to pull himself out of that- and now he was determined to drag yoongi out of the puddle too. 

- They get to packing up their whole life, the whole apartment. leaving their closet for last. that fucking closet. Jimin sees your sweatshirt of namjoon’s hanging in that god damned closet that’s always been too small. but regardless of that- He remembers how happy you were to move into this place with them. how you looked around every corner with amazement. he remembers clearing out this cubby for you to put a few things, before you’d moved out of your last apartment. 

-  jimin shows up to namjoons office holding it, crying so hard he can barely see.  barging in with a meeting that wasn’t so important, and Namjoon barely catches jimin when his knees give out, as he begs Namjoon to not move, to not buy the house and leave your little box of an apartment below the stars, because if they move out- you won't have any way to find them. 

- Namjoon pulls out of the deal to buy the house that day, with his hands shaking as everything rushes for him, all of the emotions that he’d been shoving down and ignoring over the last few months coming to the surface and no matter how hard he swallows they just bubble up. namjoon rubs at his eyes until his skin starts to hurt.  

- and when they get home and tell yoongi and Hoseok, yoongi tries to leave immediately for the bars, “you're a fucking idiot if you think drinking yourself into an early grave will stop this from hurting” namjoon sobs, and for the first time yoongi stops dead in his tracks, stepping out of his shoes, 

- joon doesn't cry often, but everything been so bad recently and as much as it hurts all he wants is his family to be whole again. And while that will never happen without you- he can at least try to keep what's left of it afloat “can’t you see that we need you? that I need you?” he pleads, his watery eyes filled with longing as he looks at yoongi in the doorway.

-  And for the first time, yoongi turns back around and falls into namjoon’s arms, Hoseok and Jimin join in, and the four of them kiss each others faces trying to brush tears away. 

- Before if they all ended up sleeping in the same bed together it was an accident perpetrated by one or more of it’s inhabitance being so intoxicated, sad or stressed that it hardly felt like the bed was full. But that night Jimin curls up on top of namjoon’s chest and Hoseok and yoongi curl on either side of Namjoon. And he feels a little suffocated but he also feels a little better. Like for the first time they can survive you leaving them. 

- They have peace for around a week before Namjoon gets called away on a case a few city’s away, he’s reluctant to leave his family, especially since they all seem stable for once. Yoongi hasn’t had a drink in almost 6 days, and though he’s spent most of the last week shaking under a heated blanket while he barks insults at anyone who walks through the door with a biting sarcasm. he does go to AA once, maybe even twice a day when he can find a meeting. Jimin goes with him always, and Hoseok has returned to working at his dance studio full time. 

- But Jimin assures him (after finishing a full bowl of cereal without being prompted) that he can handle Yoongi. And Namjoon relents, because it will only take him a week or two.   

- And Namjoon gets on the plane with a week's worth of clothes, unbeknownst to him- heading straight for the city where you currently reside.

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(this is where the majority of my highly edited words for this story stop; and i have a few snippets left but nothing of this lenght)