Tumgik
#dont look at any of these too closely now!!
lovelookspretty · 3 days
Text
lover of mine
drew starkey x actress!reader au
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.
warnings: sweet baby boy drew whos willing to help u, nothing else rly
one | two | three
authors note: i wanted to give it a sort of “the proposal” / “anyone but you” type of feel !! this is obviously going to be a series so let me know if u want to be added to the tag list from now on so u dont miss an update ! <3
Tumblr media
your body freezes in place when you’re asked about the wedding. crap, you forgot. but it isn’t like you received any invite.
“theo sent you an invite through the mail. you got it right?” your friend, leila, asks you. leila and her fiancé theo have been your friends for years now, ever since you met leila during a movie priemere and shared respect on each other's careers. she’s been your closest friend, so theo naturally had to come along too.
“what? yeah,” you lie right through your teeth, and guilt punches you in the face when you stare right into her bright eyes. you raise the cup of coffee. “was literally jumping for joy when i got it.”
leila sighs in relief. “thank god we got the right address,” she says and you question what she means by that before she continues, “we didn’t know whether to send it to your apartment or drew’s.”
your breath is caught and you pause before your drink reaches your lips.
“drew,” you repeat, and she nods.
“yeah, but we figured you’ll both see it either way so, sent it to his place ‘cause theo said it was closer,” leila says, and you raise your eyebrows in amusement. “but anyway! before the wedding, i wanted to stay with our inner circle so if it’s possible for a little two-week vacation? the venue is close to my mom and her boyfriend’s house so we’d just be staying there. i would’ve picked after the wedding if theo didn’t already have the honeymoon planned. he’s too excited.”
“wait, two weeks?” you inquire, “who’s coming?”
she shrugs, “you and drew, libby, gia . . .” she trails off as she thinks about it, and you swallow as you set your cup down. “i forgot who else. i know it’s one of theo’s coworkers but i forgot who. let me text him actually.”
your face lights up at the opportunity to get away, and you nod. “i need to call drew actually,” you say, and she smiles and nods as you stand from your seat and make your way to her living room. “need to remind him to take the . . . fish . . . out.”
“fish?”
“we’re having fish tonight, yeah.”
you turn away to scroll through your contacts until you find his, then click on it. you settle down on the couch as you wait anxiously for him to pick up, and just hope that he does.
just before the call goes to voicemail, the line clears. “yeah?”
“you are such a—!” you hiss quietly, careful not to let leila hear you. “why didn’t you tell me leila and theo sent you a wedding invite for us?”
“i literally just checked my mail, alright? i would’ve said something about it as soon as i saw it,” he tells you. “i just flew in two days ago, y/n. i’m at the . . . i’m not at my apartment right now but my mail’s all on my counter. i’ll look for it once i’m home and then send you pictures of it, okay?”
you know that your situation with drew is slightly complicated. you were together for five years before ending things just a year ago.
because of your careers, you aren’t surprised that people assume you’re still dating. even close friends like leila and theo. everything was kept private. a year into the relationship was when fans even found out about you two.
you both have been looking for a time to address the breakup, to friends first for sure, but with your conflicting schedules, the time’s just never come up, and sending a “by the way, we broke up” text to an imessage groupchat wasn’t totally ideal.
even with the wedding coming up, having to be around everyone while you celebrate your closest friends, how are you either of you supposed to bring it up now?
“okay,” you tell him. “just text me when you’re free. any time before 10, please.”
“okay,” drew’s voice is soft and understanding. the line goes dead and you pull your phone away from your ear, seeing that he’s hung up.
Tumblr media
your expected text comes around 8pm. drew’s sent you four different attachments. all are photos of the elaborate and detailed wedding invitation. the designs must’ve been leila’s idea.
you’re surprised to see an incoming call on your laptop right after. you hover over the accept button, then click on it.
his face fills a rectangle of your screen. he’s on his phone—“do you see it?”
“yeah wait,” you mumble, clicking out of the facetime to open your messages with him, then click the first photo. “leila and theo; rsvp by september twenty-seventh.”
“the letter’s addressed to my place but they put our names on the envelope,” drew tells you, and it looks like he’s ruffling through something before he flips his camera to display his counter. on it is the envelope in question, which is addressed to his apartment, but for y/n and drew, it says.
you hum. “are you going?” you ask him.
“of course i’m going. what do you mean?”
you shake your head, “nothing.”
drew only knows of leila or theo because of you, because leila works with you. maybe he’s made friends with theo but it’s not something you’ve personally seen, so you’re just assuming that maybe since you’ve broken up, there’s no reason for him to go? especially when he’s filming soon?
you stare down at your keyboard as you speak again, “leila wants us to come on a two-week pre-stay with her and theo. and others.”
there’s a brief pause from drew, like he doesn’t understand.
you sense it immediately and continue. “like, before the wedding, she told me today about how her mom has his house she wants us to stay in, just a few of us for two weeks, then they have her wedding— i don’t know, i need to ask her more about it. i think she just wants to fly everyone out and spend more time with us before she’s on honeymoon and living the wife life.”
“could be fun,” drew says. “i mean, i can’t even remember the last time i was out with theo or leila. it might be good for us.”
you furrow your eyebrows at him through the screen, and you try to read him to see if he’s joking. “there is no more ‘us’, remember? and by the way, neither leila or theo or anybody else knows that.”
drew hesitates as if he’s trying to justify your situation.
you rub your eye before resting the side of your head against your fist, “they addressed the invitation to both of us, drew. i feel like we should at least tell them the truth so that when we get there, they know.”
drew hesitates, his eyes moving around as if searching for the right words. “yeah, i know. it’s just . . . complicated.”
“complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it,” you say, feeling frustration build up. “it just feels dishonest. they think we’re still together, and if they find out at the wedding, it’ll look like we’re hiding things.”
“we are hiding things,” he reminds you. “we’ve been avoiding the topic. do you really want to drop this bomb on them right before their wedding?”
you go silent as you think about it, because if telling them isn’t a good option then . . .
“what if we just kept up the appearance that we’re still together?” drew suggests. it draws your attention as you look up at your laptop. “for the wedding and the pre.”
you blink, taken aback. “what do you mean?”
“i mean,” drew continues, “what if we act like we’re still together while we’re there? it might make things easier for everyone. seeing us apart will just create tension. people will feel like they’ll need to walk on eggshells around us.”
you give him a skeptical look. “acting like a couple isn’t the same as actually being one. i’m not sure i can just pull it off without it feeling fake.”
“we’re not faking,” drew says gently. “we’re just playing a part for a bit. we’re professionals. it’s literally our job. we can do this for a few days.”
you pause, considering his words. “but what if it just makes things worse? what if pretending just complicates everything?”
drew’s expression softens, and he speaks more earnestly. “look, we’ve been in tough spots before. there’s been so many times on set with you and i before that we’ve had to navigate headfirst. this is no different. think of it as a role we have to play for a short time. it doesn’t change what’s real.”
you sit back, processing his suggestion. “so we fake it for now and deal with the truth later?”
he hums. “it’s not ideal, but it could save a lot of awkwardness and stress. we can be civil and supportive for their sake, and then handle everything after.”
you let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the decision. “it just feels like a lot of work to keep up a pretense. but i guess if we’re going to do this, we need to at least figure out how to make it believable.”
“we’ll figure it out,” drew says, his voice a little more hopeful. “it’s not about being perfect. it’s just about getting through the weeks without making things worse.”
you nod slowly, still feeling uneasy but recognizing the practicality of his idea. “okay. pretend for leila and theo, and then deal with the fallout afterwards.”
there’s a faint smile on his face as he nods at you. “just two weeks, remember? we can do that,” he says. “i’m gonna head to bed. i’ll talk to you tomorrow about it, alright?”
“okay,” you murmur, and drew hangs up on you.
the facetime window closes and displays your last app that’s been open, your messages. you’re face-to-face with the photos of the invitations once more, and a part of you is overwhelmed with emotions—fear, excitement, guilt.
two weeks. that’s all it is. just two weeks with your ex-boyfriend. you can survive that . . .
right?
545 notes · View notes
storiesfromafan · 10 hours
Text
Don't Do It - Mattheo Riddle x Reader
A/N: Just a under 1000 word one-shot 😊 And trying to break writers block, haha.
Prompt/s: Write a scene in a library where the characters must whisper or stay silent.
And,
“Dont do it” “But...”
Tumblr media
Late afternoon, an hour since classes ended for the day. The library was reasonably busy, due to various groups of students at the tables studying for the next days tests in different classes. It was mostly silent, minus the soft whispers of the students to each other.
Sitting at one of those tables, your boyfriend at your side, you were the only two to have their own table. Which irked a fair amount of students, so every so often you would get dirty looks. Yet neither you or Mattheo cared. Not now, not ever.
You were currently reading over a book for potions. Your boyfriend at your side, chair close to yours. His arm was slung over the back of your chair, his hand playing with the ends of your hair which cascaded down your back. Every now and then Mattheo would lean in, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Making you smile or giggle. That also got some unkind looks from the other females in the room. As your dear boyfriend was one of the few sort after boys of Slytherin and Hogwarts.
While you weren’t really high up on the list of girls the boys wanted to snog. Though that never bothered you. You weren’t ugly or anything, you were quiet pretty. It’s just boys tended to go for the prettier, and sometimes easier girls. And you might ask why Mattheo chose you. You didn't fuss over him, or make goo-goo eyes at him. Sure, you thought he was cute, even had a small crush on him. But you kept a level head. And Mattheo liked that, as well as the challenge of getting you.
After he got you it just got better and better. Mattheo never got tired of you. If anything, he just liked you more, even loved you. And after getting to know the real Mattheo, you began to love him back. Separate, you were smart while he was a troublemaker. Together, you were yin and yang. You managed Mattheo's wild side, while he brought out the fire in you.
This looked to be one of those moments. For your boyfriend's attention wasn't on you so much any more, rather he was shooting daggers at the Golden Trio. To be fair they had been looking at you both, sour looks upon their faces. Not to mention whispering to themselves while looking to you both.
It was starting to get to you too, but you had more patience then Mattheo. You just knew he was itching to say something, or hex them. The way his hand on your back twitched told you his restraint was wavering. When he drew his hand from you, and hands hid under the table before you both, he had made his decision.
“Don't do it" you whispered, eyes still on the book before you.
“But...” he whispered back.
“I said, don't do it" you repeated, turning the page casually.
“It's just one small hex, love" Mattheo tried to reason.
You sighed, “one small hex will lead to detention, love" you mocked. “You can’t afford another detention. Or else no Quidditch for you".
Mattheo sat there silently. No doubt weighing up his options, hex and detention or play Quidditch. With a soft groan Mattheo pouted, slouching down in his chair. You looked at him from the corner of your eye. You found his childishness amusing. He wanted to hex those three so badly. But Quidditch was his escape.
Closing the book, you leant back in your chair with a small stretch. Shooting a dark look to the Golden Trio, you turned to face your boyfriend. Who had gone back to glaring at the three. You leant into him and placed a kiss to his cheek, before moving your lips to his ear.
“It's alright, love. You can get your payback on the Quidditch field" you whispered sweetly in his ear. “Wouldn't it be just dreadful if Potter was knocked out by a bludger, or hit with a Quaffle".
You moved back just enough to watch the dark smirk cross Mattheo's sinful lips. “Yes, love, just dreadful”. He then turned to place a linger kiss to your own cheek, making you laugh a little too loudly.
29 notes · View notes
networksupported · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
watch in amazement and wonder as the quality of these images decreases extremely fast
and by that i mean its totally all stylistic choices oh yes ahem. erhem. huahem. moving on.
9 notes · View notes
thereaderinsertlady · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love my sweet boys that I made up completely in my head
52 notes · View notes
mossylane · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
very impatiently waiting for the infant update so i can finish my default skin finally...
397 notes · View notes
zymstarz · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
13 notes · View notes
Text
one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️
#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry#op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it#pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want#anyway#once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it#but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this#i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ#i want to punch a WALL#like wtf do you think women ARE#i want to attack and kill#everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn#like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way#but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me#and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them#but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing#which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this😤#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this#why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt#the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP#how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene#like yall i canttttttttt#my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this#ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this#but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower#sorry sorry okay vent over this just#REALLY pissed me off#cause it kinda blindsided me i think
9 notes · View notes
papercutsmp3 · 5 months
Text
helppp i am soo not doing that well on this trip i went on with friends so it's pathetic tumblr post time
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
carcarrot · 5 months
Text
i wish i could articulate the experience of seeing a band you're into live like actually seeing them in person because its so strange yet fascinating
#every time i hear take me for a ride by sparks it makes me think of the nyc show - the first show of theirs i saw#bc that was their walk on music. and i was front row for that show#and like. it was so surreal. so strange. obviously in a good way but its just something id never experienced before#and i noticed this especially with russell in that i had a weird thought that went 'oh wow thats him. he realls looks like himself'#and like of course he looks like himself but what i meant by that was he looks like that guy who ive seen 5 billion images of. hes that guy#like not only does he look like the him in more recent pictures but seeing him in person like 10 feet away#its like i could recognize every era of him. i could see like 70s russell in his face. bc of course thats his face! but still#is this making any sense.#like i feel like if you met 70s russell once and never saw him again until now youd immediately recognize him#and sure thats because of two other things - one that he has distinct facial features kinda and also that hes aged so well#but it was again so surreal to be like. in the same space. right in front of. fairly close to. that guy whos been in my phone. you know?#this was true for ron and the other guys in the band too of course its that feeling of wow its them! those people ive only seen pictures of!#and again being front row for that was bonkers insane. its like what do you mean these people are real#but the thing w russell i just especially noticed almost immediately when they came out onstage like hes that guy. for real#is this making any sense . anyway i just had to finally get this one out#the only downside of this experience was that yes these people are real and yes they can see me. a little anxiety inducing#its like nooooo dont look at meeeee im such a weirdo i bought a ticket to see you like everyone else here#anyway. concert thoughts
19 notes · View notes
merlinmerlot · 11 months
Text
i finally finished bg3
and it only took me [looks at steam]
Tumblr media
SIX HUNDRED HOURS
#merlin.txt#w/ the new computer the rest of act 3 went by super quickly#honestly i dont think my computer and my sanity would have survived all those cutscenes#ANYWAYS initial thoughts:#cried like a baby. ending credits songs really really good. i can't WAIT to start a new playthru. HOWEVER:#oh my god the ending felt so fucking rushed. i was expecting like a typical rpg ending slideshow at LEAST but nothing???#like you only get One cutscene with your romanced partner (a short one too) but i don't get to see what everyone else is doing??? hello??#gale is literally like 'lets celebrate' and we don't get to see the celebration??? or at the very least a chance to talk to everyone again#like in act 1 and 2????#imo i think the most satisfying one was lae'zels. god i love her#also act 3 is hella buggy especially towards the end. a lot of broken dialogue. but ah well#OK NOW SPOILER THOUGHTS SAMMIE DONT LOOK:#the game Really wants you to turn illithid but i ended up just letting karlach do it ... i felt bad .. but like#i found the arc of my tav like. getting So close to going full power hungry and martyr and hero only to finally be humbled like -#'you dont have to always play hero' was really interesting. like doing that and then hearing the post credits 'the power' song. gshldgksmal#guy who is soo miserable abt the fact that all their cool illithid powers are now gone. has to go back to being normal#ALSO. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE ENDING AST SCENE. HELLO?#HIM RUNNING AWAY FROM THE SUN. IT BEING COMPLETELY PLAYED FOR LAUGHS. SO MEAN#any other time i may have laughed but the fact that you dont really get epilogues made that Really sting.#THE FACT THAT THE COMPANIONS ARE NOT EVEN NICE ABOUT IT??????
21 notes · View notes
echo-s-land · 5 months
Text
It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
7 notes · View notes
what-even-is-sleep · 2 months
Text
Craziest advertising flaw I’ve seen in my life is: it’s impossible to look up “spider catcher” or even “spider catcher for arachnophobes” without EVERY. SINGLE. PRODUCT. having a blown up picture of a spider in it.
#absolutely fucked imo#even articles that line up a few of the products either: 1) blatantly have pictures of spiders in the article#or 2) don’t give any warnings that links will go to pictures with giant spdrs in them#😭😭😭😭#I’ve seen maybe 1 spdr-catcher advertisement that doesn’t have a giant realistic spdr in it#mypost#it’s a relatively niche problem (ik ppl are scared of spdrs on the reg. but I’m talking abt my phobia which comes with like. visual and#physical hallucinations + bone chilling fear + bodily reactions I can’t control lol)#but JESUSSSS IF I LOOK UP ‘spdr catchers for arachnophobes’ THERE SHOULD AT LEAST BE SOME ARTICLES AND PRODUCTS THAT DONT FEATURE FKCN SPDR#PICTURES!!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬#have asked ppl in my life to help me look it up b4 but they just don’t look that hard 😭#found one years ago that kindof works (is like a mini-vacuum. the nozzle is long but the handle is too close to the holding chamber imo.)#but 1) I had to re-tape the holding chamber bc wjdhiwhsiwujduwhw [traumatic redacted experience that is easily guessable]#and 2) it’s fckn old now and is not working well anymore. which is a liability bc ong I still have this phobia and no matter how pissed I#am abt it. and no matter how much ‘exposure therapy’ I have.#I still can’t sleep in my room/go to the bathroom if there’s been a big one in there 👍 ESP if they never got caught#freaking myself out writing abt this 👍🙂‍↕️😔#bc I’m freaked out bc there was one in my room last night and it’s still missing so idk maybe I’m sleeping on the couch again tonight sheug#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3 notes · View notes
alligaytorswamp · 1 year
Text
spine issues
Tumblr media
13 notes · View notes
orcelito · 1 month
Text
Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
5 notes · View notes
Text
because im less breakable than you
#still dont really remember the details of how this ends but still thinking they couldve made laura vampire instead of carmilla human#also keep thinking - as with all the things recently idk why this is a thing now but i gotta keep thinking abt it - that canonically#carmilla died at 18#laura is 19#actresses are 25ish here? it's not a big difference but it is...a little difference#theyre teenagers#they look like teenagers#she fucking died at her first ball hoping to make her first ever friend it's so sad really#but i was thinking abt this too with the iwtv episode where claudia asks armand to turn madeleine and he goes to question her#like certain lines are just so very specifically written i think and they hit so much harder if you adjust their ages mentally#claudia looks 14. shes from 1903 so shes around 40-45 years old?#madeleine's actress is 30ish i believe and i think madeleine is meant to be a similar age#but she looks kind of young. i guess 30 is pretty young actually#armand in the show was turned at 27? assad zaman is 34? close enough i guess you dont have to adjust that much#but in the book hes turned at 17?#like just some lines really hit#when claudia calls madeleine 'some weird white lady i met by happenstance'#imagine a 14 yo talking abt a 30 yo instead of two people who look similar in age#when madeleine calls armand young man when shes like theres nothing left of my era theres been a war#i think she says like 'young man theres been a war'#that 'young man' really hits if you imagine him 17#idk#also still thinking abt yaz. if she looked 19#idk. teenage vampires man#also been reading the book and forever5yo claudia is fascinating too i love her#also can they do telepathy in the book bc i feel like a lot of times in the book it's that claudia is being carried by louis like a 5yo#that she whispers stuff in his ear. and thats always the kind of stuff that in the show they'd use telepathy for#it's a good solution both ways i lik eboth but it made me wonder did they just add the telepathy in entirely in the show?#bc i dont believe theres been any so far in the book
2 notes · View notes
newtness532 · 2 months
Text
i want an ice lolly
2 notes · View notes