#dont mind me im emotional and sad today

[mango-parfait]

A lot of people ask me whether I have a photo of a man in my locket. And whenever I tell them that it's the ashes of my late dog, they look at me like 😰. I don't think it's creepy. Shiro was part of my family's life and routine for 15 years. I'm just taking a part of him with me to let him see Guam as well.

Happy birthday, sayang. You would've been 16 years old today and I still can't help but talk about you as if you're simply sleeping in your bed in the other room. I think you would've loved the beaches in Guam.

[good-beans]

PIZZA

[venear-tmblr]

…. so i’ve had an idea

C!Ven FableSMP In-Character Smash or Pass

Today we reject canon and embrace non-canom ships like it’s the 2000’s-10’s again. Let us begin heheheh (also im sticking to masc leaning characters because c!Ven likes 🅱️oys.)

Aax

5/10: Pass

I don’t think they’d be bad for each other, I just think Ven would feel out of his depth yk? Their communication type wouldn’t clash badly, they’d both be able to argue without killing one another, but they just dont click?

I just think Ven would be intimidated? and that should be a dealbreaker in any relationship.

Caspian

6/10: Smash

Caspian would be the cool ex that you still see sometimes in random places, and you stop for 10-15 min to see how he’s doing, before you both leave and forget about each other again.

Cas would keep Ven’s bossy streak in check, and they’d sort out their problems together well. They have aligning interests in knowledge and writing, and overall they’d work.

they actually seem like the kind of couple to fall out of love with each other? which is very sad to me ;-;

They’d care about each other a lot i think, in a Scott’s Street by Phoebe Bridgers kinda way

Centross

7/10: Smash

… there’s only room for one self-sacrificing idiot in this relationship.

Opposite of Rae; Centross is Ven’s type, personality-wise. Also Centross does the love-bickering thing that Ven and Feng would do. They communicate well, they’d argue healthily, over all they’d be pretty good tbh. The sleep schedule between the two of them would be bad though, Ven would forget to stop work and Centross would do the same, they’d forget to check in with each other.

Rae

3/10: Pass (edit, was 2/10 but i raised it by 1 for Zenni the beloved)

you already know what i’m gonna say about these goobers. they’re terrible for each other

the interesting thing to me; there’s only two reasons for Ven to date Rae. 1) they’re young, and social norms say you should date someone similar to you. So both Vena and Rae would go “he likes what i like” and call it a day. OR 2) Rae would be a rebound for Ven. neither of which can happen in canon. (i love the band au blorbos <3)

Seven

4/10: Pass

they wouldn’t be bad, Ven just wouldn’t know how to approach Seven? Seven has so much going in, and Ven would need to know every detail about Seven’s past in order to feel comfortable in the relationship. Seven can’t really give that, so the relationship is over before it’s begun.

Ulysses

7/10: Smash

Similar to Caspian, they’d get along, they’d be good exes. Ven would learn a lot academically from Ulysses.

bonus point because this fish sounds aussie and that is important to me ok

Will

4/10: Pass

Based on the emotional reactions seen in the spy arc of S2, I don’t think these two would get along. i actually think Ven would get on Will’s nerves in close proximity, if he were to open up and let Will in emotionally. Not that it’d be Will’s fault, they just clash. They would have common interests though, so all wouldn’t be lost.

Will would speak his mind, whilst Ven clams up and avoids conflict, but they’d get around to communicating eventually. (so they’re def not the worst pairing on this list.)

Wolf

…9/10: Smash

ok hear me out, you haven’t seen the half of it in canon yet, but these two work well. They have a lot in common (that i can’t share yet)

they argue so well, maybe even better than Feng and Ven did. Where Feng would speak up with Ven, Wolf sits and listens and waits.

Wolf is Ven’s type physically,tall with long hair and broad shoulders, and comes close to his type in personality.

nodders they should kiss

…So in conclusion; Let Ven join Wolftross, its time for Wolventross throuple takover

[hundrkottr]

🌿 Trauma Based Identities 🌿

There are a number of causes for our non-human identities. The most common being spiritual, but also imprinting. So now, what is a trauma based identity? And how could it cause one to have a psychological theriotype?

A trauma based identity is basically an identity that was formed because of, or in relation to, trauma. Especially during childhood/adolescence. At a young age, we are still very much developing mentally and emotionally. Our minds are going through so many changes, and our environment has an incredibly big impact on that. Early life trauma is part of that environment, and therefore, can literally make changes to your beain chemistry and how it develops. So how does this have to do with therianthropy?

Well, if a child experiences trauma or abuse, their minds may unconsciously seek some kind of coping mechanism. And this coping mechanism CAN cause them to develop a non-human identity. Especially if they feel detached from other humans who are the source of said trauma. Often time, the animal they may imprint on will be in their environment. Perhaps a pet, or a wild animal they see on a regular basis. It can be an animal or being they've been exposed to through media, like; movies, tv shows, books, games, etc. It can also even be a toy they have of said animal. Regardless, the trauma can make such a development occur.

//Imprinting can also be in relation to the trauma based identity. As a child experiencing abuse and neglect may imprint on the animal around them, rather than the humans that cause them harm, or hurt them.//

Some may argue that "this isn't a theriotype, its a coping link!". But you are wrong. The definition of therianthropy, is to identify as an animal, or have an involuntary non-human identity. A copinglink is a CHOSEN identity you chose to CONSCIOUSLY cope. If the trauma based identity is NOT chosen, and develops without voluntarily chosing so, it IS a VALID therianthropic identity.

I think it's important for people to be aware that such identities exist and are incredibly valid. They can be tough, but it is part of our development.

🌿 My Trauma-based Identity 🌿

Ever since I was a baby I've gotten a lot of traumatic experiences. I was consistently abused and neglected. I won't go into detail, but it was really hard. And I deal heavily with the affects today.

I never felt loved, or safe. But we did have cats in our household all the time. And I learned love from them. The cats never hurt me, never scared me, never screamed at me. All they did was show me love. They made me feel seen. So, as a toddler, I imprinted heavily on them. I ate their food, bathed like them, crawled around like them, meowed, and even used the litter box on several occasions (i know it sounds extreme but as embarrassing as it is, i did..)

My parents regularly punished me for acting like a cat, but I never stopped. And I continued seeing them as my true family.

I imprinted on them and it became a permanent mental development that would follow me through all of my childhood, my adolescence and early adulthood.

Thinking of why this identity developed makes me sad. But it also makes me grateful, because i dont thing the young, autistic and traumatized lil child I was would have made it otherwise.

I go through periods of questioning and denial. Because this identity makes me feel a lot of repressed emotions. But maybe this time i can accept it again. Ill do it at my own pace though. ♡

Thats all! Hope this helps others with trauma based identities. Know that you are valid. And you are seen. If ever you need to talk about it, im here. My DMs are open. I may not be online all the time, but Ill respond.

[legacyshenanigans]

HiHi 💜

Just another quick thing I want to get off my chest. And be vulnerable with you guys.

So yesterday was fucking crazy for me.

I basically had a small mental breakdown.

I want you all to know, that I feel like I made it sound like I was never going to come back, I will definitely return to this blog, but after writing this, I'm giving myself atleast a week, to just chill and soothe my mind.

I Havnt cried today, so that's a plus 😅

I adore interacting with you guy's, so im not going to dissappear completely, or atleast i dont want to. And I will come back, whether it's to do OC content of murder hubby and gang (which I'm still very much in love with because I literally put my heart and soul into creating them) or even if it's just to post random shit haha, I like the little cult I've made here, I want to continue to interact with you guy's. ❤️ Because, honestly, the Volo Cult mean the fuckin world to me,

The amount of love I received yesterday made me cry so fuckin much. It was truly overwhelming.

It definitely sucks when something you once love, and the main thing that made your blog what it is becomes irrelevant to you 😮‍💨 such a numbing, horrible feeling. I know I seem like a fiesty c*nt most of the time, and don't get me wrong, I totally am hahaha, but I get very intense feelings.

Will undercut next part because its potentially triggering content. And please. I do not expect sympathy, that's not why I'm about to tell you guy's this.

I think one of the main reasons I'm finding this whole thing difficult is because before I joined this fandom, I'd suffered an extremely brutal miscarriage, which really fucked me up, I won't go into to many details but the whole thing left me extremely traumatised due to some of the things that happend during that time, and when I joined this fandom it REALLY helped me take my mind off things, thats WHY it meant SO MUCH to me to be here, and why this is all seems very dramatic, because to me personally, it really did mean everything to me, and when my love for it died, thats why I was SO upset. Making my creations also really helped me, especially creating Marvolo, who's personality and lore and his general embodiment was born from a huge cluster fuck of mixed feelings and emotions I'd experienced from a very dark place, thats WHY he means so much to me. This fandom just really helped through a very shit time, and thats why I don't take this lightly, and why I'm so fuckin sad about the whole situation.

I just wanted you guy's to know that.

~

[szatan-to-gej]

some doodles i did today because why not :D

i have wached shayys play through of ts!us and am livid with these gooners

the doodles are shit because i made them in like max 2 minutes of when they were on the screen in a way i needed them to be lmao

also tadc because of course i had to

im just gonna ramble under the cut :3

possible ts!us and ut yellow (kinda???) spoilers but not only that

I HAVE STARTED A SKINCARE ROUTINE 💪💪💪💪

my sister came home and my skin was a mess at the time she basically just went "nuh uh, not on my watch" and got me A WHOLE ASS LIST??? told me when and how to use the stuff n all very cool

also the pomni is this basically

i wanted to make the homophobia in her eyes joke but didnt know what to draw for it so i took the first goofy picture i saw on pinterest and went with it

honestly its one of the rare times i actually kinda like how i drew her so very surprising to me

TO THE GAME STUFF I CANT BEAT THE BIRD IM UT YELLOW HELP 💔💔💔💔

IM NOT GOOD AT GAMES I INSTINCTIVELY TRY TO GRAZE. IN UNDERTALE. AND I HATE USING THW ARROW KEYS ON MY KEYBOARD BECAUSE THEHRE TOO SMALL FOR MEEEE

basically i am dying tryin to play it is there a way to change the controls and im just too dumb to see them pls someone help :[

alsoalsoalso i normally dont get very emotional when something happens in media BUT on the ruthless route i got gen sad when harry n larry died :c

and i am gay for muffet.

but that was before underswap too.

ALSO HER OST IS FIRE??? SCONES AND BONES WENT IMMEDIATELY TO MY PLAYLIST I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING FIRST 30 SECONDS OF THE FIGHT AND MY MIND WAS MADE

best spider dance remix ever

also i will be replaying deltarune and probably playing deltatraveler cause i heard a lot about it and i am very curious :>

expect the gays

or not

depends on my mood :3

[brainrotdotorg]

what's your favourite silly moment for each of the skills?

for volition its def in the 'you're compromised' scene where he 'doesn't add flair' but also has/uses the most nicknames for the other skills

reaction speed has this little comment in the same scene where if your logic is low enough they go 'oh? was someone supposed to say something? well it's just me, swooshing around in here! swoosh :D'

encyclopedia takes the fucking cake with the trivia quiz tho. love his dumbass so much

oh man tall task for me to try and compile EVERY skills personal fave moment but i love them so much i am willing to try. under the cut

logic: god this dude is literally so dry he was the hardest to find good quotes for. i still love him though. the boring stiff. " If you drink this, then you will die. That's a fact. And that's why we're going to save you from yourself and store this as a SELLABLE item. Go sell it at the pawnshop for a profit." after you buy the pure alcohol is pretty funny.

encyclopedia: the innocence quiz. the entire thing. also contact mike.

rhetoric: what could possibly top "say one of these fascist or communist things or fuck off"

drama: lie, sire! for no reason! also any time he really leans into the old-timey speak its so good to me. AND during the payphone prank calls he can suggest that you stir up shit for no reason. love him

conceptualization: lots of truly beautiful lines from our fella concept here but i do also love. when they get silly with it. " It can still be an otherwordly sex-mystery *in your head*. With a dark twist, even." and "Imbecilic. Yes, should the future ever come, it will look deeply imbecilic. Like this guy." and "O WALLFATHER!"

visual calculus: "I'm just a representation of your mental faculties... piecing together any available information." love when they just outright say it lmao. also "Consuming food is mechanical process for him. He doesn't enjoy it, just goes through the motions and moves on." kind of a sad detail about rene that i didnt know about thank you VC

volition: "I don't do flair."

inland empire: "No-no, don't sing the happy song, it's stupid. Sing the sad song, it's profound."

empathy: paging doctor love... " Life doesn't have a *BACK* button. Now get off your ass and speak the truth about Sylvie the Whore." "He's enjoying your little failure. He finds it amusing, he's revelling in the sweaty rage on your face."

EDC: the time he brings up literally right after kim says "officers dont fucking dump old police shit in the river" officers dumping police shit in the river

authority: "The lieutenant is a narcomaniac!" also "Mewling wimp! Pathetic..." and "Show him the ham still got it!"

suggestion: at one point he gets exasperated of harry trying the expression over and over. also "Logic and reason won't work on this old bat. Better go for shameless emotional manipulation. What's a grandmother's deepest vulnerability?"

endurance: a wink shaped growl sounds from your ass. what the fuck is going on in your large intestine harry. ALSO HOLY SHIT I DIDNT KNOW THE TUTORIAL AGENT HAS A UNIQUE LINE IN THE FASCISM THOUGHT CONVERSATION?? forget about föminism im losing my mind.

pain threshold: "Sounds like you were in some real *fundamental* pain there, muscle-man." MUSCLE-MAN!!!! on a sadder note: "Her beauty was like the glowing coil on a hot stove, and yet you felt *blessed* to touch it..." GIRL....... dont do this to me.....

physical instrument: eyes on the ball, dinky winky! also if your logic isnt high enough then HE will be the one to say "Son, you will NOT kill yourself with this. Not today. So we're going to store this as a SELLABLE item. Go sell it at the pawnshop for a profit." about the pure alcohol

electro-chemistry: HE CALLS PI A "sinewy idiot" ohhh my god. delightful. also every time he goes "yum" like when thinking about cigarettes

shivers: MR EVRART IS HELPING HIM FIND HIS GUN. Also the classic "got a brother in the cut, where the wood at?"

half light: oh my god she has so many killer lines. "They ain't got the cojones." she also has lots of nicknames for people. "cum-stain", "fucking ballerina", "they're all dorks." also "Utter the POWER WORDS!" and "Even when you're trying to scare someone, the most important thing is: how does it look on your resume?" AND "*YAWWWWN!* Can you imagine anything duller than a bunch of binoclards yanking each others' knobs?" half light i love you

hand/eye: "My favourite [thing] is the gun." LMAO

perception: she gets upset at one point when rhetoric claims you can smell communism and shes like. um. no. thats not possible. you cant smell communism. i cant find it but it actually happens a few times i think

reaction speed: I NEVER HEARD THE SWOOSH ONE. oh my god that fucking rules. swoosh. my next favorite is when youre talking to sylvie and she turn you down really fast reaction speed is like wow shes fast, what else is she good at? Baseball? Ring-a-bell Quiz Shows? Catching keys in the air? Petting an angry cat? okay queen

savoir faire: slaps one of this dude's arms. this guy can fit sooooo much hustle grindset in him. "You can't hang 'vapour-porn' in the foyer of your chalet." AND HE KEEPS CALLING HIMSELF SAVVY!!!!!!!!! "Hey, money-mouth. Eendracht. The impeccable hustler-provider of the seventh generation. It's showtime with Savvy!" "But Savvy's got your back. Savvy's going to book you a charter flight with eighty birds of prey on board, to a land where the streets are paved with krugerrands and fixed-income securities."

interfacing: i do love his "Told you that you *needed* those chaincutters. Everything is connected. Everything has a purpose." thats less silly and more hopeful in a way i really really like. he's got many delightful lines, and i think is the one that is most clued into the video game-y aspects (dialogue trees, etc) probably the saddest instance of this we see is with the dolores dei dream. "Don't let her. Don't let her go there. You should re-do the topics. Go over *everything*, the things you didn't say before too. Make it go on and on..." wailing. screaming and crying. on a brighter note! when you lose your pen he goes "Nooooo! That was my favourite thing, of all the things you have."

composure: calling reaction speed a "shifty asshole" is pretty fucking funny ngl.

[borathae]

Chapter 22

oc definitely needs a wheelchair after her flabbers were gasted ♿♿

I didn’t even know that he could cook.” HE PUT THE KOOK IN COOKING I’ve seriously never seen him that productive before.” sex so good, boi got enough energy to complete his missions/side quests

“that dude’s so happy today.  Very suspicious when the emo is happy👀

“Le food is served”, he says in a fake French accent. DOES HE KNOW FRENCH??? what languages do they all know??

“No we didn’t!” you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time, haha they are so annoying like your besties and they just announced they did xd

“Was it fun?” Seokjin teases, making weird sex noises afterwards.FUCK OFF I LOVE U TOO MUCH

“I. Hate. You. Guys”, Jungkook whines, hitting them with the kitchen towel repeatedly. HES PROTECTING HER *sorry not sorry kook

“JK come back, we were only teasing!” oh no he went away, jack come back

He is carrying the biggest pout on his lips, kicking the air with his feet in a constant rhythm. FUCK GO KISS HIS POUT AWAY

DAMN HE IS THAT GOOD AFTER DECADES??

HIS GIGGLES SMILE AND LISP HIS CONFIDENCE AAAAAH Now, he wasn’t good at it, he winked with both eyes BYE IM ASCENDING TO UNICORNS, BUBBLES, GLITTER AND RAINBOW UNIVERSE

punching whoever pressed you against the wall straight across their face. this is a cool way to show she is learning from yoongi

FUK JIN TALKING WITH HER, IM SOOO WUWU OVER THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND BANTER i just love this whole thing you know?? the plot the writing, smut, description, smell, banter, emotions FUCK RVERYTHING AAAAH

woah whats going on? is it his weak arm? right arm hmm WOAH WTF huh did he run to his room?

2seok pls 😭😭 them completely ignoring her, like parents talking about their kid

“I was hoping you’d forget about it” hobi pls💀 jin is a menace for giving him the uncomfortable talk

yay guessed it was his uniform he was a pretty popular guy in his unit. He feared nothing, was well known for his strength and stamina on the battlefield and from what I heard he had perfect aim too.” damn soo cool oh shit being that good must have hurt when he got turned and felt all worthless/guilt

fuck thats so sad wtf, ok now did he for real lose all of the comrades or is there someone still left 👀👀()oh that would make sense why vampires would be there

wait i think im confused?? so enemies killed everyone, a ripper came and saved kook by feeding him blood and he would have survived as a human BUT THEN SNAPPED HIS NECK? WTF

yeah he definitely got the saddest origin story idk even know what to say, he would definitely get your ass if he knows he is a character written by you 😭

They won’t even notice it. You just need to be quiet i doubt that but ok

The curtains dance in the wind. It is not a beautiful dance, almost as if they wanted to escape the cold. But you can’t escape it, you have to face it in order to get to Jungkook.  yeah im marrying this paragraph

I still didn’t return to my parents, I still couldn’t kiss my darling goodbye, or pat my dog’s head one last time. No, for my family I died on that battlefield” shit he never saw them afterwards and now they are dead 😭😭😭

yall now dont fall from the rooftop. imagine dying cuz u kissed so hard u fell off the roof😭😭😭 DAMN HE TOOK US INSIDE THE ROOM WHILE KISSING SETTING NEXT LEVEL STANDARDS OOF

he knew how impossible such a request for a monster like him is, but now that he can hug you and kiss you he realises how stupid he was.  😭GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

SHIT THAT TOOK A TURN that we all xpected but still got scared

“Don’t move away from me”, he orders, controlling your mind on instinct. fuck, all the progress just went down the drain (it didnt, but thats what he is going to think and go back to his shell😭)

It is not an unbearable burn, almost as if a little droplet of hot oil landed on your skin when you grill bacon. is her skin sensitive from horny and scared or is it actually "vampire saliva heat magic"?

fuck im so sad alexa play truth untold

oc definitely needs a wheelchair after her flabbers were gasted ♿♿

hahahah there are no lies in this statement ajfjdsf

I didn’t even know that he could cook.” HE PUT THE KOOK IN COOKING I’ve seriously never seen him that productive before.” sex so good, boi got enough energy to complete his missions/side quests

HE IS SO CUTE!! GOSH I love how he is so happy that he is just doing lil house stuff <3

“that dude’s so happy today.  Very suspicious when the emo is happy👀

no but I love the memes cause this was definitely them at Kook ahahha (in a fond way)

“Le food is served”, he says in a fake French accent. DOES HE KNOW FRENCH??? what languages do they all know??

OKAY I WANNA TELL YOU but it will be revealed. actually fuck it jfsadjf

Jungkook can speak Korean & English fluently

Hoseok can speak Korean & English fluently, he can speak German with a heavy accent and he knows a decent amount of Japanese

Seokjin can speak Korean, English & French fluently and knows enough German & Italian to get around

Yoongi can speak Korean & English like a native speaker, he knows almost every European language to different levels and knows a secret language I can't reveal yet for spoilers reasons

the others I won't reveal right now because of spoilers JFAJDSFJ

“No we didn’t!” you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time, haha they are so annoying like your besties and they just announced they did xd

LIKE THEY ARE SO OBVIOUS GAAAH

“Was it fun?” Seokjin teases, making weird sex noises afterwards.FUCK OFF I LOVE U TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM HE IS SO CHAOTIC <§

“I. Hate. You. Guys”, Jungkook whines, hitting them with the kitchen towel repeatedly. HES PROTECTING HER *sorry not sorry kook

like it's so cute goshhshshsh :(

DAMN HE IS THAT GOOD AFTER DECADES??

LIKE HE IS JK OF COURSE HE IS <3

HIS GIGGLES SMILE AND LISP HIS CONFIDENCE AAAAAH Now, he wasn’t good at it, he winked with both eyes BYE IM ASCENDING TO UNICORNS, BUBBLES, GLITTER AND RAINBOW UNIVERSE

GAAH I forgot this part :( omfg I'm so SOFT for him 😭

punching whoever pressed you against the wall straight across their face. this is a cool way to show she is learning from yoongi

like she is actually so hot

FUK JIN TALKING WITH HER, IM SOOO WUWU OVER THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND BANTER i just love this whole thing you know?? the plot the writing, smut, description, smell, banter, emotions FUCK RVERYTHING AAAAH

gaah this is so great to hear thank youu 💜

woah whats going on? is it his weak arm? right arm hmm WOAH WTF huh did he run to his room?

HELLOOOOO

yay guessed it was his uniform he was a pretty popular guy in his unit. He feared nothing, was well known for his strength and stamina on the battlefield and from what I heard he had perfect aim too.” damn soo cool oh shit being that good must have hurt when he got turned and felt all worthless/guilt

I'm actually crying 😭😭😭

wait i think im confused?? so enemies killed everyone, a ripper came and saved kook by feeding him blood and he would have survived as a human BUT THEN SNAPPED HIS NECK? WTF

YES that is exactly what happened. like that Ripper was evil cause why did you do all that???

yeah he definitely got the saddest origin story idk even know what to say, he would definitely get your ass if he knows he is a character written by you 😭

yes yes 100% 😭😭 no but the more shit I put my characters through the dearer they are to me JFJADSJF I am evil like that apparentLY FJADSJF

The curtains dance in the wind. It is not a beautiful dance, almost as if they wanted to escape the cold. But you can’t escape it, you have to face it in order to get to Jungkook.  yeah im marrying this paragraph

heheheh thank youu 💜💜

I still didn’t return to my parents, I still couldn’t kiss my darling goodbye, or pat my dog’s head one last time. No, for my family I died on that battlefield” shit he never saw them afterwards and now they are dead 😭😭😭

LIKE I'M SO SAD 😭😭

yall now dont fall from the rooftop. imagine dying cuz u kissed so hard u fell off the roof😭😭😭 DAMN HE TOOK US INSIDE THE ROOM WHILE KISSING SETTING NEXT LEVEL STANDARDS OOF

he is so hot and romatnic and sweet and hto andnasf and nfads

he knew how impossible such a request for a monster like him is, but now that he can hug you and kiss you he realises how stupid he was.  😭GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

I LOVE HIM I SAD BIG SAD

It is not an unbearable burn, almost as if a little droplet of hot oil landed on your skin when you grill bacon. is her skin sensitive from horny and scared or is it actually "vampire saliva heat magic"?

oooh good questionnn 👀

[sunset-bridge]

Hey😎

What is Sergio’s opinion on all the phantom thieves and.. idk what is his favourite food!

hi snowball-maltese ur nooooot gonna believe me but i literally never fucking saw your asks??? LIKE.. theres other asks in my inbox and i remember those but i never saw yours??? WTFF. they spontaneously generated today in between the other old asks im keeping...

tumblr.................. why did you eat these then vomit them back out today : ( sad

HEHEH ANYWAYS hi.. oh my godddd. um. well now im ashamed of answering HJDFJND BUT OK under the cute cut

Sergio favourite food: potato tacos

Sergio opinions on the Phantom thieves:

Mona : He thinks hes cute because he looks like a cute cat and sergio likes cute things and cats. Thinks he is charming. Tries to treat him like any other person despite how adorabubble he is. He starts thinking of him as his big brother naturally later on, he really trusts him and tells him things he doesnt tell anyone else, asks him for advice on his problems and thoughts and yeah really values his opinions.

Ann: He figured she was a Loud girl at first without even talking to her, he doesnt have a neutral opinion on women in general tbh so bad start, but as soon as they became friends and he heard her talk about what happened and how angry and frustrated she was he was like.. woaghhhh. no way.

Sergio has historically never been good at talking/making friends with girls or has had much of an interest in doing so, he mostly avoided them, so idk it seems stupid but he was like... woag. At first Sergio in his mind is like. WELL ANN is cool because SHES NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS nope shes COOL AND REAL unlike the Other GIRLS (sergio turn around) BSDDVJBJFVJ. dont worry he figures it out later.

Anywho he thinks shes awesome and so nice to him and he admires how dedicated she is and how she tries to be upbeat but does worry about her and encourages her to break things if angry. Goes on her shopping trips even if he actually hates shopping because he loves Ann. Is encouraging about the things Ann wants to do but still tells her when theyre a bit silly (like in her social link where she sets impossible things to do hahah). Likes talking about more emotional things with her because he feels embarassed to talk about those things with the Boys (sergio turn around again)

Ryuji: Thought he was a bit strange, annoying at first. Just barging in and making him get involved in weird shit. But like with Ann he starts talking to him and they become buddies because they encourage their silly activities. He feels angry for ryuji and what happened to him; he thinks he should kill everyone in the track team actually/j .

Likes spending time with him, he appreciates that ryuji seems to understand him and likes to have fun with him running and excercising and playing videogames etcc. Bro bonding. They do mischievious activities together.

hes so fun to be around and sergio loves how hes such a kind person despite everything : ). They make stupid jokes together. Ryuji stops sergio from killing people sometimes. See, Sergio is like a Bro Character but hes the leader and also he has poor impulse control and is very angry.

Yusuke: He adores Yusuke he thinks hes so talented and everything he does is literally a masterpiece (hes right)

At first yusuke came off as a bit strange and aloof, but sergio was an instant fan as soon as he saw his work LOL. Yusuke appreciates the support. Sergio really admires and respects yusuke, even when he does “weird” things its like. Well its yusuke so. Yusuke = cool, then thing = cool as well right ??!!! normal

Lets Yusuke hug him even if he doesnt like hugs .

Makoto: Sergio thinks at first shes uptight, too serious, no fun, a snitch. I guess hes not wrong per se but ..

He was sooo mean to her at first when makoto hadnt joined the thieves and was spying them LOL. He did feel very sorry later and begrudgingly apologized along with ann and ryuj.

Nowadays he thinks mako is pretty cool, super smart and super strong. he still thinks she should let loose more, have more fun. He recognizes how hard she had it before joining. She appreciates how cunning she is. He had a playfight with her but sergio fights like a rabid animal and mako actually knows aikido . Im not sure if it continued but their fighting styles and what they look for in a fight are so different it didnt work out too well : ( sad. its ok.

Fuba: Fuba is like Sergios little sis : ). He wasnt sure if they should do something at first when the situation came up but he realized fuba was acting kinda like him before, isolating and being angry and sad etc... felt fucked up to not do something or try to help but he didnt want to be super pushy about it because he knew how he felt and how he didnt appreciate anyone who tried to drag him around even if they had good intentions. But yeah his friends made him realize how they ahd kinda pulled him out of a hole too at the beginning and he figured everyone could use a chance like that..

He really cares for her and tries to spend a lot of time with her, play anything she wants and watch her funny animes etc. He absolutely plays along with every game; he has a lot of fun too hes so silly as well. They bully eachother lovingly hehe. Hes willing to accompany her everywhere but i guess he realizes he wont be there for her forever so tries to gently push her a bit to be more independent.

Sees something about himself in her, although different. He tries to be someone that Younger Sergio would have appreciated in his life.

Haru: Sergio respects her a lot and thinks shes super kind perhaps too much.

He tries acting more serious or polite etc at first with her but haru ofc notices and is like. sergio its ok you can be yourself : ).

He still doesnt really act with her like he does with the others because idk theres this enormous barrier of respect that it seems unprope to act like that with her.. She IS sergios friend he just finds it super hard to be casual with her completely.

They like gardening together and showing eachother their plant children so thats something where they can be ever so slightly more relaxed in. I wonder if haru feels sad that sergio doesnt dare act casual or be himself in front of her like the others : ( He super appreciates whenever haru gifts him something unprompted etc.

Sumi: Sergio doesnt know sumi that well. He just thinks shes a cool , super kind girl whos very talented , polite. He always treated her really nicely. I think he enjoys the tyoe of respect he gets from Sumi even if its embarassing sometimes hahah since he feels she gets a different perspective of him ahah. He starts acting more casual in 3rd sem etc but theres also a barrier of respect here like with haru. Its more like.. welll sumi .. she thinks im cool and responsible i.. must fulfill that...

Goro: Well .. we already know LOL right sunset-bridgers?

He is someone so fucking cool in sergios eyes. He considers him his worthy rival and admires him a lot ; hes just so damn cool, talented, smart , strong.. it kinda feels like he always knows whats he doing and even if he makes a mistake sergio finds it charming.

He used to feel envious and jealous of him for having thigs he didnt and apparently being much more succesful in general. But ofc things happen.. he realizes things werent as simple as they seemed and how goro felt quite similar to him.

He really appreciates how they seem to see things similarly. have a similar world view so they can understand eachother easily and talk soo sososo much. Like.. wow hell yeah this guy gets what im saying yeah finally. guy who can keep up with me in snarky convos. Guy who likes to play the same silly challenges as me. Guy who fights with me and is strong as hell so we are matched. In goro he finds someone who likes him to his core; sees right thru his disguise and is interested in spending time with real Sergio. He takes him seriously. No one takes sergio so seriously or seems to give such weight to his words....

He feels very free with him.

[dailyharuka]

Hi hello! Dont mind a random stranger dropping in your inbox bc i thought about your analysis post abt Haruka

Except it's kinda just an analysis about Ai no Material in general bc i've been listening to in on loop

(even though im pretty sure most people would have done that and understood what's up with it by now. Dont look at me i just got into proseka—)

Today, too, the skies hid away the stars.

The sky, of course represents Haruka. The stars represents her sorrows/pains/ tears.

It seems that the stars will fall down.

You wear a sparkling smile

But even if it's hard, you hide the pain away,

and without showing it, you just laughed.

She is going through it and she's trying to pass off that she's okay even though she's not :{

On this starry night, as we laugh together, I decided that

I'd hold your hand tightly and not let go.

I assume that by this point, Haruka's friends (or More More Jump in general) noticed that, maybe things aren't as okay as she tried to make it out to be.

The stars began to fall.

Even if it's a pathetic complaint,

I want to hear it.

Because I'll always be there for you.

This bit was what made me realize that "Oh shit those stars mean something actually—" because for awhile it just confused me.

Anyhow, Haruka breaks down eventually, but dw the power of friendship saves the day <3

Okay bye, sorry for showing up and stating the obvious

*jumps into the void—*

HOLD UP UR LOWKEY COOKING WITH THESE INTERPERTATIONS!!! HONESTLY THE WAY YOU TOOK THE MOTIFS IS REALLY INTERESTING

BTW DONT APOLOGIZE!!!! I LIKE SEEING WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY!!

Man… i really REALLY wanna analyse these songs now..

WHEN SHE IS SAD BUT HAS A SUPPORT GROUP TO HELP HER GO THROUGH TOUGH TIMES 😭😭😭😭😭😭💥😭💥😭💥😭 WHEN THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP 😭💥😭💥😭💥😭💥😭

AI NO MATERIAL🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

thinking about the star motif… there’s a reason it’s falling right… does that represent emotional state getting worse??? Or maybe her downfall from asrun or whatever it would be called

her flop arc

ME WHEN THE STARS BEGIN TO FALLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭💥😭💥😭💥☹️☹️☹️😔😔😔😔😭😭😭

[nyovelle]

hi guys today im going to talk about my shitty family!

ok so basically my family went to a temple to pray to my great grandparents then i was folding like a paper we were going to burn as like their money in the afterlife yk then we were supposed to pray so my sister snatched it from me (like she grabbed it and held it while i tried to pull away) she was like "put it down." while still trying to take ir from me then I gave up and let her take it. then I said "i couldve put it down myself.." then she went like "mimimimi 🙄" like a childish piece of fucking shit and then I got upset bc the temple already had some religious chinese singing in the background and a rlly weird wood burning smell aroma thingy. so i was like rlly sensory overload and in a bad mood. then she was being a bitch and mind you, this is infront of my mom, my grandma and grandpa, and my uncle. they didnt give a single FUCK. so i was abt to cry of frustration but i sucked it up because why? my mom calls me sensitive EVERY TIME MY SISTER ACTS LIKE A BITCH AND I GET UPSET.

skip forward to lunch and i was still moody so my mom asked me "why u so grumpy" and i told her my sister didnt apologise for earlier (spoiler alert, she made it worse with her half hearted apology!). then my mom asked her to apologise in private and she did in the lift. and she was like "ok sorry lah 🙄🙄" in that draggy tone of voice. then my uncle finally asked "why you apologise?" and then my sister HAD TO JUST SAY "she sensitive lor" (singaporean slang).

then when we went to eat lunch, my sister "so kindly" helped to cut my food!!! and tyen all of a sudden my grandma and mother are praising her for "being such a good big sister!" LIKE KYS U FUCKING SELECTIVE HEARING ASS BITCHES. DID U NOT JS HEAR HER GIVING ME ATTITUDE..?? TWO TIMES...???????

literally she does ONE good thing and BOOM SHES AN ANGEL!!!! STFU I HATE THIS GODDAMN FAMILY. MY MOM IS ALWAYS LIKE "ure always so sensitive! control ur emotions" SO I JS SUCK IT UP AND CRY ABT IT AT HOME??? WTF IS THIS PARENTING.

then when we were abt to leave i asked my mom when we were gna leave cuz i didnt know we were abt to. then she didnt reply so i asked two more times. then she said "NOW! YOU DONT KEEP ASKING WHEN WE'RE GONNA LEAVE, YOU THINK I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO SHOP MEH? YOU ALSO LIAN CHOU CHOU (long face) AND YOU RUIN EVERYONE'S MOOD. DON'T GO AND BE LIKE THAT." and this was INFRONT of my sister, my uncle, and my grandparents. not a single hoot from their asses bc they dgaf about me!! oh and my mom blamed me for still being upset at my sister. and she was like "WHY ARE YOU STILL UPSET OVER THAT? SHE APOLOGISE TO YOU ALREADY" her apology was literally half hearted.

there was another smaller incident where this time it was my grandma's turn to mock me and then my mom called me sensitive again!!

and another one today. RANT #2 BUCKLE UP HOES

soooo basically my mom my sister and I were in the car on our way to school and i was complaining abr how much i have to carry to school. then my mom asked "why cant u put it in ur locker"

and i said "bc theres a school rule that says u cannot leave ur stuff over night." and then my mom was confused and asked "but how come ur sister can leave hers in the locker?" then i was like "she break school rule lor" (singapore slang again) and then my sister got upset!!!! she wqs like "u couldve phrased it nicer!!" ill have yall know she fucking tells me "You stink so bad go and shower you smelly." smth like that. and then when i get upset over that I get called sensitive good fucking night. HYPOCRIIITTTTEEE. and then she was making a big fuss and then she did the "mimimimimi" thing again which was UNCALLED FOR. and then i started getting sad bc she alw does this to me but my mom and dad dont condone this behaviour with me. "sensitive" ofc.. and then she was like "oh, it's my fault now??? I have to apologise??"

ok rant over this was js for me to get ts off my chest. i dont have anyone to rant to so yea im js ranting here. thanks for reading if u saw this 🫶

probably an overreaction but nvvmmmm

[hoshi-y]

When they cheat on you

Genre : Angst

Characters : Yugi Amane, Minamoto Kou, Aoi Akane

TW : None

A/N : None

Yugi Amane

You were like any other he would admire.

He acted a bit more distant

cold even.

You couldn't understand this new behavior of his

maybe men do have periods?!?

kidding, maybe he was in a bad mood or had a bad day !

So you decided to make your boyfriend homemade donuts to cheer him up ❤️

Went out of your way to buy ingredients to make his favorite homemade donuts, and even made paper stars all day and wrote a wish in each strip and but it in a small jar

After you were done, you set off to his house !

It was a lovely afternoon, elementary students walking home, the elderly chatting outside, and kids playing outside

heh..

You wanted to surprise him ! so you didn't tell him you were coming to his house

you began to walk faster to his house, wanting to see his reaction with your gift in hand

But a much bigger surprise was yet to come

His parents already knew of your relationship, and is really fond of you, so they let you come in and out of their house

And thats what you did

You noticed another pair of shoes outside his house

Womens, school shoes to be exact.

Anxious, you quickly took off your shoes and went inside

"Amane?" You called, as you put down the cutely decorated box that had the homemade donuts in, and the jar of stars on the table

No answer.

Weird, he doesnt have soccer practice, nor has any due projects

But you can hear the tv in his room playing

You quickly went up the stairs, and opened the door so wide—

"Ammaannee!! surprise! i have something—"

Your smile quickly dropped when you see him cuddling with your own best friend, not to mention they looked so comfy in each others arms.

He finally noticed you and pushed your best friend off and stood up

"[F/N] i can explai—"

you cut him off with a slap on the face.

You didn't know what to do

you we're feeling so many emotions

Anger, Sadness, Confusion, most of all, the feeling of Betrayal

He tried to reach for you but you yanked your hand away

Tears filled your eyes, you ran out of there

Never wanting to see them ever again, you locked yourself in your bedroom

The image of your best friend, and your boyfriend, being in each others arms will forever burn in your mind

He was your light, your moon, your everything yet he didn't feel the same, He looked at you as if you were any other star he would admire

you don't know how to face him now.

Minamoto Kou

How could you do this to me.

Honestly, You couldn't think of any possible way on how he would cheat on you, he was a ball of sunshine !

But of course, not everything about him is all sunshine and rainbows

He started to pay less and less time with you, always giving out excuses

"Sorry [F/N], I'm busy at the moment, i promise ill make it up!" excuses. "Ahh i forgot, im sorry.." Excuses. "Im busy sorry, maybe next time"

Excuses, just a whole bunch of excuses.

you don't know how long you can keep eating on his excuses

so today was the day your gonna force him to have time with you !

You went on to find yokoo, satou, and mitsuba ! Your three best buddies and also your boyfriends !

as you were about to enter the classroom and ask them where he was you overheard them talking

"this is just a load of BS !! [F/N] Has to know!" Mitsuba says as he slams his fist on the desk

Making yokoo and satou flinch, "We know but, we don't know how to tell them.. and i most definitely know they wont take this news too well.." Satou says

"Won't tell me about what?"

You scared the three

they looked, Sad?

"What's going on?"

"[F/N]! Uhh,, i-it's nothing dont wo—"

"I want to know, Yokoo" You cut him off as you sit down infront of the three

They gave you a look of pity, and sadness

But before they can say anything, Kou entered the classroom, before you could even stand up to go to him you saw your senior, Yashiro clinging onto him

They look so happy.

"Kou, are we gonna go to that cafe down the street?"

"Yup, I'll just grab my bag and we'll be on our way"

You look at the three who had their heads down

He hadn't even noticed you, cause they were covering you from his field of vision

"Hey guys ! Me and Nene are gonna go—"

He stopped when he saw you, Your hands clenched so tight on the table and the sounds of sobbing

"Why, Kou?.." You looked at him with teary eyes "To think you would cheat on me, with our senior?" Looking at Yashiro who had a look of guilt

"[F/N] Its not what it lo—"

"Save it. you don't have to worry anymore, cause this relationship is over" You stand up and leave the classroom, But Yashiro grabs your hand and had tears in her eyes

"[L/N] I-im"

"You're sorry?" You look at her, no emotions whatsoever "You knew about me and kous relationship, yet you still got in the way of it, I knew you still had feelings for him, but wow. To think i ever thought so highly of you, You don't deserve my respect nor my friendship."

You yanked your hand from her and ran

He tried to call you

Text you

Even went to your house, But your parents would always kick him out, and even went as far as to call the police for trespassing

The damage was done, there was nothing he can do to fix this

His sorrys, and gifts won't fix this damaged relationship

Whenever he sees you in the corridor, he would try and fix the mess he made

he played you for a fool

You started to distance yourself from him, Just seeing his face makes you wanna break down

How could he do this to you.

Aoi Akane

You were never my first option.

It was a miracle and a huge shock that you were his s/o

You confessed to him a few weeks ago about yoir feelings towards him, and he returned your feelings !

Officially together~

surprisingly

Started off with going on dates, walks home, cuddling at home, you know the usual any couple would do

But after a month he started to give you the cold shoulder

and you just can't find him anywhere

went to the student council where he always is, but teru said he hasn't seen him come in

Went to his class, But not even Nene or Yamabuki has seen him

Where is he?

The one person you haven't asked is his childhood friend

Aoi was taken by the student council President so you doubt she would do anything funny

right?

The last place you haven't checked is the rooftop, He would go up there to let out some steam

You didn't see aoi but you heard commotion out there, so you peaked a little, eavesdropping

"Akane?" You call out, but you hear, Fuji? how odd, he would most likely charm yashiro into doing his work and he'll skip off with his friends, its surprising that he's still here

"You can't tell me what to do. Fuji."

'Akane !'

you peeked from the wall, It looked like those two were arguing

"Dude! Lay off! Akane-san has already turned you down multiple times, plus you're in a serious relationship!!" He says as he grabs his shoulders

"Serious? More like clowning, i still have feelings for Aoi. I thought that if tried to put my feelings onto another person that is not her it would worl, but it didn't, my heart still beats for her."

What?

You walked in on those two and they stopped arguing

"Really Akane?" You ask in disbelief, You were on the verge of crying yet he hasn't shown any sign of guilt nor sadness

Haha.. just plain ol cruel Akane..

"Did you really think I'd like you THAT much?, I only dated you cause you act and talk as Aoi. my heart still beats for her, but that damn president got to her first."

Now that you realized it, He would constantly mention Aoi's name.

Even from the start of your, what do you even call this thing you have between you two

He just used you as a rebound.

"You really are a cruel person huh?" You say as you look up at him with tears in your eyes

You really thought he would like you

Loved you back even.

You did everything just for him to notice you.

Studied hard.

Joined the gardening club.

"Look what you did Ao—"

"Stay out of this Fuji. Why don't you run along and play with Yashiros feelings. What im doing is the same as yours, right?" He looks him dead in the eye and Fuji walks out

He's so cruel

He even put down every mistake you did during this 'relationship' you had with him

"Tsk. Did you really think I'd love you as much as i loved her?" He says as he walks towards the rooftop doors

"Might i add" Stopping beside you, he looks down at you

"You were never my first option, and never will be, consider this.. Clown of a relationship over."

Hitting your shoulder as he goes back inside

probably off to find Aoi and confess his love.

You broke down

But why?

You really did love him, Everything about him. He was the one that inspired you to become better, to study harder..

In your eyes, He was your Number 1

but you weren't his.

Aha, see what i did there, with the number 1— ill shut up

[splatzzlive]

bit of a rant/vent cause i realised something

(skip to second paragraph for stuff abt my yt)

if yall didnt know, im trans. idk wth i am but i label myself as mascbeing (masc-presenting person just existing) and i used to have really bad dysphoria but ever since my parents started calling me my preffered name and pronouns (even if they dont when im not around) ive found myself almost competely rid of it. like ive stopped wearing binders because i didnt care as much anymore and partly because they were wrecking my body. i knew that being accepted by the people around you could help, but i didnt realise it was that much. my parents are really consevative which i didnt know until recently and they are seriously comvinced this is a phase even tho its lasted like 5 years but i somehow convinced myself they werent. after finally accepting that they dont beleive me ive been getting worse again. i still dont wear my binders but i get dysphoria over other things and i think i need to go back to therapy but my therapist didnt beleive i was trans either. she was a christian therapist and the second i mentioned wanting to go on hrt she brushed it off and sad "medication isnt always the solution" as if i havent been dealing with these feelings for five fucking years and it seriously made me hate her after all the good she did for me. wow i had so many more feeling than i thought i did lol this was supposed to be positive um anyway...

ive been taking a really long break from youtube for my mental health but it hasnt gotten much better so tomorrow after my exam im gonna record the next episode for my minecraft series. see yall on sunday hopefully with that video! <3

also i changed my pronouns because ive found i dont actually like he/him. they/them isnt super god either but i dont mind it much! id prefer if yall used literally any neopronouns but ive specified hx/hxm/hxself (said hix/hem/hixself/hemself), star/stars/starself and bun/buns/bunself! thank you!!

thank you so much for reading and dealing with my emotional shit lol

take care of yourselves, drink water and eat if you havent yet today, brush your teeth and take your meds, i love yall /p

[cybermeep]

as to not taint the humor of the millipede post, i say this separately and as its own sort of weird entry thing; today was not all that nice. if you somehow wish to read emotional ramblings then feel free below i suppose. this will all probably be very embarrassing & stupid & gone at a certain point

at first, it seemed to be fine; by all accounts, i felt normal. i was happy, content, neutral, what have you. near the end of first period, i felt a sudden and all encompassing sort of emotional pain which is hard to explain besides a knife in ones gut. i try to shrug it off, go back to normal; i listen to instructions of my teacher before i ask to sit outside. i proceed to bawl my eyes out silently.

and you may ask, WHY? and i ask the exact same thing! i have no clue why i suddenly break down like this, but i do, and its heavy and uncomfortable. i sob out of both guilt and intense emotions unable to be placed anywhere definitively. i sob because i don’t know what else to do, as trying to hold my emotions in has seemingly only made me sick thus far in the day.

i continue to cry for an uncomfortable amount of time i won’t disclose. a teacher who i enjoy greatly sits beside me in the hall; without even having to say the words aloud, i answer him. i talk quietly of things i remember and talk of how upset i feel; not mad upset, but sad upset. he seems confused on what too much of something would be. ive been wondering this for months. he asks if it was possibly seen as something more intimate. i say this could be likely and i feel far worse; i feel awful, actually. he runs off because hes a busy man. i think about our conversation and i feel overwhelmingly distressed. i feel sick. i feel as if ive ruined everything by accidentally implying something different then what i may mean. i dont enjoy the vague way certain events occur. i hate being vague, i hate not being able to read between the lines of things; vagueness scares me to a point of distress and acute worry, which is probably hypocritical.

i have to resort to one of the stupidest things ive imagined in a long time in order to not feel the overwhelming & all encompassing feeling of wanting to [REDACTED]; imagining myself as stanley from the stanley parable and being lectured about how this action would quote make the timeline collapse in on itself or quote ruin the game by the narrator. i can imagine his voice clearly in my mind saying STANLEY, YOU CAN’T SELF-IMMOLATE STANLEY, THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR! something stupid like that. its odd that it helped.

i was fine, although i then proceeded to not be fine. got asked if i was okay. answered truthfully and said no. an acquaintance prompted me to talk about it with her, then simply.. left. had to find the girl she enjoys being with. she said she would find me later and talk about it; i really didn’t want to talk about it. i moved to put on my headphones then realized it was stupid & was already on the verge of tears again at simply the discussion from before & feeling like a circus animal being heavily scrutinized and laughed at under intense gaze. i get to class but i am overwhelmingly unable to do anything but cry.

i get to go to the library, but at the detriment to my friends. i text one and tell her i won’t be at lunch as im dealing with emotional distress and don’t want to quote, be a debbie downer. i am saddened at my actions; i wish i would’ve just went and talked with them, but i also don’t wish that i did because i hate distressing those i care about. i didn’t want to put more on my friends plates. i’d deal with it myself

of course, nothing is ever sound & calm for long; the area which i feel comfortable crying in is overtaken and i move uncomfortably. i am asked if im okay. i lie blatantly to a girl ive known as an acquaintance for years. i feel bad for lying; i don’t want her to worry about me. it wasn’t important, anyway. eventually i regain my composure and get back to class. it ends and i move on; as per usual, my mood fluctuates and i soon find myself worried sick and leaving her classroom.

i stay after although i know the chess club is cancelled for this week. i don’t like the change. its not as if im mad at the change, i just so desperately wanted to believe the days i dealt with before actually still accumulated to something i enjoyed. now the one thing i enjoy is off to not occur for next week, either; giving me very little to look forward to, if anything

i sit in the airlock. i write in my notebook a list of things someone would do before self-immolation. hypothetically, of course. maybe four or five things on it are actually things one would care about. one is to play a DLC, another is to finish a novel; one is to stay in order to see the cicadas arrive & to visit the cemetery in the spring like someone (fine, me!) mentioned weeks back that i wanted to do. its uncomfortable how the novel i enjoyed dearly was not one of the important things on the list.

it takes quite a lot to kill me, i think. kind of like a tick.

i’ll be fine; i always am. i think ive gotten better. im slowly feeling more and more sane again, although the stress puke is still prevalent. as ive lived on, its gone down to a point where i just gag; don’t puke. i enjoy documenting when i do feel things like this, strangely enough. having an archive of my life makes me feel sane. its also interesting to look back on.

thanks if you read this somehow, even after the warning of how stupid it would be. i appreciate you, hypothetical reader. i enjoy your hypothetical quiet company

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG 2009 SPECIAL THE WATERS OF MARS

It has been a moment since I've watched, but in my defense I have 7 different personal projects right now including learning the guitar and finally doing drivers Ed. And a cross stitch project and an embroidery project and a song I'm learning for open mic and my band solos and the book I'm reading. AnyWHO yeah I have a whole bunch of stuff happening Coolio. Let's watch.

STATIC

Aww is a baby

STATIC

Oh look Mars

Aww he has the spacesuit on

Lol I like this dude he's funny

And he's a killjoy

Lol no trespassing

THE DOCTOR. DOCTOR. FUN.

Aww cute gadget

Carrots

Oof he ate the carrot and now he's weird

Weird sounds

OH FUCK

MY HEAD IS SO STUPID that is a mood

Wait they all die? No that's sad?

TODAY

Awww nerd sad nerd

Ooh roaring

Oof now he's all entangled

Cute robot

Aww don't get all deep on her right now Doctor

That's poetic

Don't bicker y'all

Well they're still alive lol

Manipulative monster?

Oof there he is he's very soaked

Oof she's seizing?

Oh dear is her mouth weird now

SHES DRIPPING

oh do the Mars creatures want water cuz their planet dried up

That's scary as hell holy crap

Those are really obviously contact lenses in that shot

Oh wow they're trying to get in with water

They look so funny running like that

Wow

Poetic indeed

BUT BIKES I love him

Funny noises language

Ooh ice frozen creature virus

OooOOOOOoooooOo ActIoN PrOceDurE ONe

This is making me thirsty

He's a runner he's a trackstar

Ooh medical breach thats not good

He knows your death

Something wonderful

OOF? SHE WAS THERE?! OH POOR HER

It saw her

I love her she's wonderful

I fully agree doctor. Remarkable

AWW THATS SO CUTE HER GRANDAUGHTER THATS SO CUUUUTTTEEE AAAHHH

She made a difference? People remember her?! I want to be remembered!

THEY CAN LEAVE

Aww but history says they all die anyway why

Climbing ladder?

Controlled chaos indeed

He is conflicted

Boop boop boop boop boop

They're on the roof!!

Maybe they can

He is still conflicted and sad

Okay but there's 20 minutes left I bet he changes just mind and what fun that would bring

Awww sadness sadness I hate sadness

DOCTOR YOU NEED TO PROCESS TOUR GODAMN TRAUMA

IF YOU CRY I WILL CRY THATS NOT ALLOWED

Final option

Doomed by the narrative

That's a lot of water

HE HAS TO WALK AWAY AND LISTEN TO IT ALL

Awwww her peoples that's really sad I'm gonna cry

IM CRYING

HE HAS TO HEAR ALL OF IT WHILE HE WALKS AWAY AAAAAAHHHH ITS NOT FAIR AAAHHHH

OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT HER NOOO NOW THEY CANT LEAVE

EXPLOSION

I'm crying this is torturous and an amazing axample of being doomed by the narrative and by fate and everything and all

Oh shit he's doing the thing is this the thing I've seen oh fuck has he snapped

YOURE NOT IMMORTAL BECAUSE OF A PROPHECY ABOUT KNOCKING YOURE STUPID

DONT BREAK THE TIME LAWS

NO THE LAWS DONT OBEY ANYONE YOU FUCK I GET THAT YOURE A TRAUMATISED DUDE BUT YOU DONT WIN AGAINST TIME EVER EVER EVER EVER FUCK

This is getting philosophical, it's lucky I have Philosophy this semester

Doomed is doomed by dude

THE ICE IS BREAKING

His brain is incredibly broken, this is why you should process your trauma kids

EXPLOSION SHIT

7 minutes left apparently

They're alive?

Dude you know the rules, I'm glad she has sense

TIME LORD VICTORIOUS MY GUY NO

See this is what happens when your brain gets broken don't let it get this far kiddos

Fuck this is hurting my heart he's not supposed to be like this

GIRLIE JUST DIED ANYWAY SHES BRAVE I LOVE HER FUCK

YES MY DUDE YOUVE GONE TOO FAR DID YOU ONLY JUST REALISE IT

Hello Ood

HES SO TRAGIC HIS HURTS MY HEART

FUCK

Technically I could watch another but I want to watch the part 1 and part 2 for The End Of Time all at once. Cool. This will definitely not cause me horrible emotional pain and heartbreak, nosir.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

QSMP PURGATORY FINALE

Liveblogging Phil's POV - Part 1

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]

Strap in lads, this is a longgggg liveblog.

NEW BOLAS EMOTE LETS GOOOO

Aw, the idea of a shared playlist is so sweet.

Yeah I'm sick of Purgatory it's super stressful watching it and seeing the Fandom being stupid about it. If they keep Purgatory going (which I doubt they'd do, but One Fear and all that) I might stop watching stream as much. It's really not my vibe. If I do watch I'll probably just solo Phil's POV and that's it. I've been watching Fit more than Phil lately (for once) but that's been stressful).

Whenever Phil and Roier interact I gain a +10 boost to my mood

Oh, Maximus was streaming? OK yeah he's definitely set off that bomb today LMAO

Noooo they're all shouting over Maximus and he just goes silent noooo :((( SHUT UP AND LET MAXIMUS SPEAK GOOD GOD

Thank you Phil and Mouse for answering him I was losing my mind

Roier and Etoiles arguing about stupid stuff with each other is so funny, I'm so glad Purgatory made them become so close

LMAO Etoiles I'm so sorry, your team just loves dying

It's sad that Maximus didn't log on more, I wish more people knew how funny he is and what a good RPer he is :(

Mouse is so funny too I wish I had time to watch her

44m - Phil: Do we have a choice? Tubbo: We always have a choice. Banger convo

46m - Etoiles: I could kill them naked You sure could dude

NOOO ETOILES DONT SAY THAT THE EGGS ARE GONNA HAVE A DEATH BATTLE MY HEART DROPPED INTO MY STOMACH oh nvm "Dapper clears" made me laugh. Pomme would be awesome too.

52m 30s - Two coffee beans and a wooden hoe I'm DYING

Cellbit was only holding back his murderous tendencies on the Island because of coffee (and Roier)

POP OFF ETOILES I KNOW THAT SONG!!!!

The pure serotonin of hearing Etoiles sing a Spanish song I know :')

Poor Maximus coming back after 30 minutes. Surely he isn't working on his bomb (copium)

LMAO Maximus and his new server

58m - Maximus: Gays, any news?

I love him

OH CRAP CUTSCENE

"I SPY WITH MY GIANT EYE" LMAO

Oh Phil is gonna wipe the floor with Tubbo

LMAO of course he says stick fight

Poor Etoiles he's suffering

"Switch your hearts to Hardcore" Ok, Slime said that as a joke but that'd go so hard

Thank god Phil is going to be honorable about it, I know Tubbo will be too.

SHAKING MY SCREEN PLEASE STOP TALKING OVER MAXIMUS EVERYONE!!! This is a topic we’ve talked about a billion time but man, I wish they could implement translations / subtitles into their group chat as well, every conversation during events is biased in favor of English speakers. Aypierre was based for speaking only French with Bad and Fit the other day.

I love Etoiles he’s so funny

I LOVE THAT PHIL AND TUBBO ARE TALKING THIS OUT, AGH!!! I LOVE COMMUNICATION I MISSED THIS!!!!! I hated the lack of communication during the first week and a half of Purgatory

LMAO CELLBIT BEING SO TOXIC TO BAGI I LOVE HIM HE’S SUCH A TERRIBLE LITTLE BROTHER

Awh, Fit checking in on Maximus :’)))) Fit’s always been so sweet to the OG Spanish-speaking members of the server, it melts my heart. He brings them up every so often during his streams and he’s always so kind.

I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THIS GAMBA IM SO SAD

LMAO I was gonna be like “Aw Tubbo being sweet about the kids” and then of course he’s like SCREW DAPPER, classic Tubbo

TUBBO HAD DREAMS ABOUT CELLBIT CHASING HIM DOWN WITH A KNIFE??? LMFAO This does not surprise me, somehow.

The only real winner of Purgatory is Antoine, he knew better than to log on while Purgatory was going on.

OH GOSH THE TRANSCRIPTIONS ARE A NIGHTMARE ok so it was definitely a good call to watch an English streamer for this. I know better than to rely on the transcripts / translation box during an event day with THIS many people online

PFTT ElQuackity wandering through

The gasmasks make me crack up so much because they remind me of a fly and also an old Majora’s Mask mask

“May the cursed team win” STOP BAITING THEM TBH I think they’re either all cursed or there is no cursed team

NOOOO I’m so sad I can’ hear the music Phil played during this fight

Screw it, pausing the VOD and pulling up my own hype music

I love seeing Phil going into sweat mode, his whole posture and expression shifts

Yeah no surprise there, Phil is cracked

Aww Bagi being so supportive of Tubbo is sweet

LETS GOOO WAY TO GO SLIME LMAO EVEN THE ADMINS WERE LIKE “FRICK THIS GUY” based

Wait noooo I just realized Pac isn’t online :(((((((((

Uh oh ladies

“I had my fun shuffling those friendships around” man wants to be taken seriously so bad with his little villain of the week speech PISS OFF oh ok just a few more games PHEW I thought he was ACTUALLY gonna pull a “Purgatory 2: Electric Boogaloo” on us and I was about to straight up turn off my computer and go to bed.

THE EYE IS GONNA PARTICIPATE????????

That’s sick as hell actually LETSGO I wanna see them wail on this circus clown

Phil: KILL HIS ASS KILL HIS ASS Phil just like me fr

“I’ve been close to you this entire time” Mouse: I’m gonna kill Quackity Based. Everyone immediately attacking the frickin admin I’m cackling LMFAO THEY ALL JUST KILL ELQUACKITY everyone be like “THIS IS FOR SENDING US TO HELL FOR 2 WEEKS THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL”

OH??? LETTERS NEXT TO THEIR NAMES??? Everyone except Aypierre, Bad, Fit, Baghera, Cellbit, Foolish, and Slime… Hmmmm… G I L G H S C M Ok well that’s a bunch of nonsense. I’m pausing the VOD I wanna try and work this out. Yeah I got nothing, I’m gonna keep watching for now lmao. I wonder if this is related to their tickets maybe? Though that doesn’t match up

Bagi has a 4 now??

I’d say “Maybe this is another ploy by the Eye to make them suspicious of each other and fight” but I think it’d be more interesting if the Eye was saying the truth this time

Aypierre (ha– “EYE-pierre” I wish someone made that joke) and Max having a private convo??? I’m sure there will be no major lore repercussions from whatever they’re talking about! (Copium)

LMAO I’m glad one of them was finally like “Is this a trap? Maybe we shouldn’t ALL run head-first into whatever this is.”

I swear if Quackity logged out to switch accounts or something–

I always wonder what “logging out” would translate to in the world. Would it just be like, the character falling asleep? Phasing out of existence? Hmm…

NOT ANOTHER FRICKIN ROULETTE WHEEL

1h 48m - Bagi: I think the one who should spin it is Phil! Phil:

Big mood Phil

I wonder if this is gonna determine what Egg we get back… will we only be able to rescue one? OH ACTUALLY NO – the Eye talked about multiple games. Maybe each game is about getting one of the Eggs back? That seems to easy though, I’m starting to wonder if they only get one Egg back. That would suck though because it implies that they’d have to do a whole Purgatory-esque event again for EVERY single Egg, and if they did that I’d drop dead.

Fit I love you, thank you for telling everyone to shut up and listen to Phil. Too much chaos.

Slime: I think I misclicked SHUT UP LMAOOO Oh so the Eye told Phil to spin it too, so they were right.

I FRICKIN KNEW IT THEY ONLY GET ONE EGG BACK

Poor Phil :(((( That’s so much pressure on him

THE WORKER HAS AN EYE WTF Lmao Roier immediately laughs at it Is that supposed to be the thing that was “close to them” all along? That doesn’t make any sense.

Ok cards on the table here: my first choice would be Richarlyson. I know this is all RNG based, but he’d be my first choice of all the alive Eggs. I’m almost certain it won’t be him though, I feel like it’s gonna be Tallulah or something.

Number 7? Roier: Vegetta? 777? Pftt

LMFAO NO SHOT SLIME ACTUALLY SCREWED IT UP

They should’ve just had Phil be the only one in the room– OH DOOR? Slime: YOU COULDN”T AFFORD A FASTER DOOR? GET THEIR ASS SLIME LMAO

Foolish: I’m drowning! Oh wait no, I meant the opposite of that. Pfttt

That frickin one-eyed worker looks so tired I wonder if that’s the worker Cucurucho sent, and it just got possessed by the Eye dude since the Eye didn’t have a physical body or didn’t want to show them its actual physical body or something? Hmmmmm.

RICHARLYSON AND POMME??

OH WAIT ITS ALL THE EGGS OH NO

OH NO DO THEY HAVE TO PICK ONLY ONE???

OH THANK GOD THEY CAN GET OUT wait but no they're blocked by glass still?

RICHASSSS CHAYANNE SOBS!!!

RAMONNNNNNNN FIT CALLING FOR RAMON IM GONNA CRY, THAT'S HIS BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY MADE IN HEAVEN BY GOD HIMSELF

I'm so sorry Chayanne but that did make me laugh

Phil: You did well Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS*

LMAO Why is Tallulah just dancing

Ramon: Took u long enough to find me Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS EVEN MORE*

Bro I missed the Eggs so much dude :( I know we probably won’t get them all back rn but it’s so nice just seeing them

FRICK OFF, DON’T MAKE THEM STAY HERE I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF

Slime: My sleep schedule, no–

1h 55m - Foolish: CUCURUCHO, BREAK US OUT! FRICKIN FOR REAL, CUCURUCHO GET THEM OUT OF THERE IM  LITERALLY GONNA DIE IF I HAVE TO SEE ONE MORE DAY OF PURGATORY

Cucurucho please get your ass over here

FRICKIN REAL AS HELL ETOILES

Genuinely though, if they kept this event going any longer I think so many streamers would actually quit and I wouldn’t even blame them. I’d probably drop it too for a while, it’s just way too much stress.

WAIT NO RAMON DOESN”T HAVE HIS MOUSTACHE oh wait no 

Tallulah: So he is not here? again? :( I hate to be that guy but literally what did you expect LMAO his ass is NOT coming back for some random Purgatory event

Phil: Don’t worry, I am here. HELL YEAH YOU ARE!!! BEST DAD PHIL

Oh… Phil running between Tallulah and Chayanne breaks my heart a little bit :(((

I wonder if Chayanne is separated because he’s the leader / eldest of the group. :(

Maximus: Guys, I’m gonna explode an atomic bomb. Phil: WHAT?

IM FRICKIN CRYING, MAXIMUS PLEASE, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE BUT NOW IS NOT EITHER

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD”VE FRICKIN LISTENED TO MAXIMUS EARLIER!!!!!!!!

Head in my hands everyone is STILL talking over him while he’s doing this big important lore thing. I am dying. Maximus you deserve the world I am so sorry.

On a meta level, I wonder how many creators actually KNEW that Maximus had a bomb because I know for a fact at least a few of them were genuinely in the dark

This is miserable actually, I’m pulling up Maximus’ VOD rn because this is genuinely frustrating me. “Everyone always talks over everyone else in an event” and all, I know I know, but it still sucks to see.

MAXIMUS’ VOD INTERLUDE

OH DANG HE REALLY JUMPED STRAIGHT INTO THE LORE Lmfao not the cutesy hello in the midst of tense music, Max I love you.

Bro I’m about to start posting Sapo Peta clips, I NEED people to know how insanely good this man is at storytelling and RP, nobody frickin Gets It

I’m jumping to his conversation with Aypierre.

Aypierre: I’m a little curious Maximus: You can keep that “curious” in your mind. I love him.

1h 16m - Maximus: When all of this is finished, you won’t need my trust anymore. Banger line.

Aypierre: …Are you gonna kill yourself, Maximus? No, don’t do that. AGH.

Maximus: Maybe. AGH!!!!!!

Head in my hands, Maximus saying hi to Tina and getting no response, I think she was AFK

1h 18m - Maximus: I don’t trust you.

LMAO not Aypierre saying “I won’t kill you anymore.” Completely normal thing to say.

Aypierre: Will it kill only the Federation, or everyone? Maximus: *dead silent* Me: YEAH ALRIGHT, BUCKLE IN BOYS IT’S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Maximus what the hell is wrong with your facecam

Maximus just laughing after the Eye said they couldn’t leave. Badass.

Nobody listening to Maximus. I am chewing a live wire.

Bagi I love you but your volume is so frickin loud in everybody’s POV I’m dying

OH WTF ITS THE EYE THING????

THAT”S FRICKIN TERRIFYING WHAT THE HELL

That being said: absolutely badass of Maximus to just reveal where it is

AYO WHAT IS *THAT*

THAT SKIN IS FRICKIN HORRIFYING WHAT *IS* THAT QUACKITY

LMFAO POOR CHAYANNE JUST HIDING IN THE CORNER WHILE FRICKIN ELDRITCH MONSTER ELQUACKITY IS STANDING 2 FEET AWAY FROM HIM

I hit the word limit so I'm splitting this liveblog into 3 separate posts! Please see Part 2 and Part 3 here for the rest.