#dont mind me--just me being sad and alone and left out is all

[serenofroses]

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I gotta say but... like any swtor discord servers I joined, I feel pretty much alone with wlw pairing and contents. it's hard to vibe with anyone to vibe about appreciating nor sharing about wlw oc stuffs.

plus, encouraging myself to try talk about my pairings before I coherent my thoughts into a headcanon post properly (bc perfection vs writing up)

ah well. might also explain why i'm going a lot more quieter in Stim Please and left the other servers due to folks moved on from swtor to other games/gone inactive.

[bkgml]

i absolutely LOVE your works!! could you write about y/n and bakugo having a argument and y/n sleeping on the couch? i dont mind if its gonna be a sad or happy ending ;D

(feel free to ignore this ask!)

WOOOO I GET SUCH A BOOST WHEN PPL COMPLIMENT MY WORK is that shallow idk but like even if it is you can’t blame me 😚

“leave me alone katsuki.” you frown, tears in your lash line as you walk into the kitchen.

“stop acting like a child yn.” he calls after you.

you stop before inhaling sharply to regain your composure. you’re not in the mood to argue, you had a really long day today and you just wanted to cuddle katsuki and go to bed.

you continue walking to the fridge so you can make dinner.

“now you’re fuckin ignoring me? it was one date.” he says coldly.

that pushes you over the edge. whipping your head to glare at him.

“one date?! katsuki you’ve missed 15 dates. you’re constantly prioritizing me over your job and i get left behind to pick up the pieces. i’m sick of it!!” you scream.

he walks toward you, caging you into the counter and you frown because you know what he’s looking for.

“you can’t kiss me and expect this to all go away katsuki. it’s happened too many times!” you frown, pushing him away.

he lets you, taking the hint.

“you know i need to go into work when they call me, you’re being selfish!” he yells and slams his hand on the countertop.

you jump away from him and your eyes fill with tears.

“don’t yell at me.” you frown.

“i’m gonna go to bed. i don’t want dinner.” you mumble, rushing past him to go to the family room.

“you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“don’t tell me what to do!!” you snap.

he purses his lips and turns to leave.

“i’m sleeping on this couch before you decide to do the proper thing and apologize like an adult.” you call after him.

his fists clench and he stoms into the bedroom.

you force yourself to sleep. you’ve forgiven him way too many times.

katsuki lies awake in his room. counting how many minutes have passed without you coming to bed. he didn’t know you were this mad, he wants to spend time with you so badly. unfortunately hes trying to save up for the perfect ring and has taken on too many shifts. hes hoping he hasn’t fucked up bad enough for you to leave him.

at that thought, he makes his way to the living room. peeling back the warm blankets in exchange for the cold air of a girlfriend-less night.

he finds you in a light sleep on the couch.

“baby.” he says, brushing your hair out of your face.

“baby come to bed please? ‘m sorry.” he says, lowly.

your eyes flutter open and you frown at him.

“i said im not coming to bed, suki.” you pout.

he grunts in frustration.

“fine.” he says, standing.

you think he’s on his way back to bed so you shut your eyes once again.

only to feel your body get crushed by his weight.

“katsuki.” you groan, trying to shove him off.

“not moving.” he says while wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

“i’m not done being mad at you.” you whisper into the silence.

he removes his arms in favour of pulling up your shift to press soft kisses to the spot on your tummy that sends butterflies to flutter around your stomach.

“i know.” he replies in between kisses.

“but i’m done with you being mad at me.” he says while putting your shirt down over his head.

you sigh, attempting to pull the shirt back up so you can see his face.

he doesn’t let you though, preferring to nose at the soft part of your tummy.

“i know you’re hiding a blush under there.” you say.

“no you don’t.” he replies, resuming his kisses.

“alright.” you say softly.

he pops his head out now, thumbs starting to rub circles into your hips.

“hm?” he questions.

you sigh before reaching to cup his cheek.

“i forgive you,” you mumble and he smiles softly, leaning into your palm.

“i guess.” you grin and he bites your hand.

“ow! don’t push your luck.” you frown.

“sorry,” he mumbles.

“i guess.” he says and your grin drops.

he cackles loudly before standing and throwing you over his shoulder.

you laugh with him and bite his waist.

“hey.” he grunts and throws you on the bed.

you giggle and open your arms.

he shuffles up until his entire body weight is on you and his face is in your neck.

“don’t sleep on the couch ever again.” he mumbles, lips grazing your neck giving you shivers.

“don’t do dumb shit ever again.” you mumble back and he frowns.

“said i was sorry.”

“i know.” you smile, brushing his hair off his forehead and pressing a lingering kiss to his skin.

he hums in content as his eyes flutter shut before he falls asleep.

“miss another date and i’ll fucking kill you.” you whisper.

his eyes snap open.

[graveyard-stray]

Me or Her. || Thomas Shelby x f!Reader

Summary: All your life you’ve loved Tommy, and you finally thought he loved you too. But then, Grace came along and had to ruin everything.

(No hate to Grace. She slays. This is all just for story purposes)

Word Count: 2.5K

Tags: Angst + Fluff, unrequited love, jealousy, Smut. Dom!Tommy, Praise, dirty talk?, Grinding/Dry humping, Lowkey rough sex, loving tho, P in V sex, little bit of oral, lowkey desperate tommy and reader. No use of Y/N!!

A/N: Not proofread! Dont crucify me please…😰

“What is your god damn issue?” Tommy asked you, a frustrated expression on his face. You had run off during the large event the Peaky Blinders were currently hosting.

Ya see Tommy was your boyfriend, or something of the sort- as Tommy wasn’t the kind of guy you really would call a boyfriend. But none the less you were involved and had been for quite some time.

The way you felt about him was strong and undeniable. You had been in love with him for years, you never thought he felt the same. You felt even more sure of that when you saw him with Grace. You could tell clearly there was romance between them, a certain spark. It broke your heart but you would of course pretend to be happy for them.

But, after she had gone to New York you finally had your chance. After some time Tommy finally took some notice to you. It didn’t take too long for you two to start being…involved. Sleeping together, going to all the important events together, spending nights together at his place, the whole nine yards. Everything couples would do.

But the night of this party, no different than the others, who would walk through the door? Grace.

your heart sinks as you see her walking into the party, dressed beautifully and looking around clearly searching for something- or someone.

You moved closer to Tommy’s side and grabbed onto his arm, staying almost attached to him. He didn’t mind of course, simply continuing on with his conversations and dealings.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Grace coming over, in an attempt to make it clear what you and Tommy were you put your face in the crook of his neck, kissing him softly. He didn’t react but, you hadnt expected him too. That wasn’t the goal. The goal was to make Grace back off.

But, Grace came over anyway. Interjecting into Tommy’s conversation. The look on his face when he saw her shattered your heart. AJ mix of surprise and pleasure in seeing her. She asked to speak to him alone and he agreed, he told you to stay where you were and he would be back soon but you just couldn’t. As soon as he went to walk off with her you left the party, ran off to the room you were staying in to cry.

That’s how you got where you were now. Arguing with Tommy in the room that you so often shared.

“What is your god damn issue?” He was scowling at you as you looked at him with a mixture of anger and sadness on your face. “My issue? Your the one who went off with that whore!” You snapped back at him, your voice breaking from your crying.

He scoffed, “is that really what this is about? I was just talking to her calm the fuck down.” He scolded, still clearly annoyed at your reaction.

You stood up and got closer to him, “Oh please Tommy, I’m not blind! I saw the way you looked at her when you saw her. So glad she was back from New York. I mean come on- I just….” You explained, trailing off at the end trying to find the words.

“You just what? Spit it out.” He said demanding, looking down at you as he stepped closer to you, you could feel his breathe on your face. “I just thought you loved ME, Tommy.” You said, coldly. “Bloody hell, your being ridiculous. I do!” He responded, turning around and putting some space between the two of you.

You stayed in your spot glaring at him, new tears pricking your eyes. “No you don’t. You love her. You always have and I should’ve opened my fucking eyes sooner! I should’ve known you would never love me like you love her!” You barked at him, those new hot tears now falling down your cheeks.

“I do! Just calm down and listen to me when I say that I do!” Tommy repeated, an evident tone of annoyance in his words. “Then say it.” You said, wiping the tears from your face.

He looked confused for a moment, “say what exactly?” He questioned honestly, but with his same strong and cold tone.

“Say that you love me. I know you’ve said it to her before so your bloody capable of it. So, if you really do love me, then SAY IT.” You demanded, sternly looking him right in the eyes. Most men you knew didn’t dare look at him in the eyes, but you weren’t scared of him. No matter what.

“Your being insane, I just said it!” He defended, his tone still cold but there was a clear look of searching in his eyes. Like he was struggling to find the right words to say, to find the right way to express what he wanted to. But his avoidance of doing what you asked was a very clear answer to you.

You kept your eyes glued to his and just shook your head disapprovingly, “Whatever Tommy. I can’t keep fucking doing this, I was gonna tell you to choose between me or her but it seems you already have.” The words were like venom leaving your lips. You turned to walk towards the door, your heels clacking on the floor with every step.

Before you could go the sound of Tommy’s voice registered in your mind. It was softer now and more sincere than before. “I love you.” he said, making you stop in your tracks but not yet turn to face him. “I love you so much and it scares the shit out of me.” He confessed.

You turned on your heels to face him, “what do you mean? Why does it scare you?” you asked sincerely, the look in your eyes softer now, and more sympathetic.

“After what happened with Grace? Why the hell wouldn’t I be frightened. I didn’t wanna put myself out there again just for ya to bloody leave as soon as things got good, or worse for you to be put in danger cause of me.” Tommy explained, looking away from your gaze.

He felt your soft hand on his cheek, his rough skin contrasting your own. He looked at you and quickly plunged his lips onto yours. You were a bit taken aback but quickly reciprocated.

The kiss was deep and passionate but also had an energy of desperation in it. Tommy wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him, your body flush against his own.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to develope into his tongue exploring your mouth, heavy breathing and soft, muffled, moans filling the otherwise silent room. Tommy eventually grabbed you a bit roughly and pushed you down onto the bed, crawling over so he was hovering above you, doing his best not to break the kiss in the process.

Your hands found his hair and you pulled it softly, how you knew he liked, and he groaned softly into your mouth. He ground his hips against yours, his clothed crotch rubbing against yours, which was also still covered by your formal party wear.

Tommy continued to softly grind against you for a moment as the kiss continued hastily, before you pulled away to whine, “Tommy. Need you.” is all you could muster out, the feeling of desperation making you practically squirm beneath him.

He just nodded before sitting you up and pulling your dress up and over your head with ease. You felt the cold air hit your now almost bare upper body and you could feel your nipples harden under the fabric of your bra.

You felt his mouth attach to your neck, kissing and sucking on the skin softly as his hands snaked around your back and undid your bra quickly, it was pretty clear he was experienced with this but you tried to ignore that fact as it is kinda related to what started the argument to begin with.

His lips continued to kiss and nip at the skin of your neck, shoulders, and collarbone before you placed your hands on his chest and started gently tugging at his suit jacket, attempting to get it off. He chuckled and pulled away, quickly taking off his jacket as you worked to unbutton his shirt. It wasn’t long before his top was also completely bare.

Tommy took this time to admire you, his eyes trailing down your neck and shoulders seeing the marks he left they would definitely be noticed tomorrow, and then to your breasts. He smiled a bit and kissed right above your chest before looking back up at you.

“s’beautiful” Tommy mumbled before putting his hand on your cheek and pulling you into another heated kiss. His other hand now groping your boob, causing you to moan into the kiss and grind your hips up into nothing.

He noticed your actions and chuckled, “someone’s needy.” He teased and you nodded quickly. “Let me show you how much I love you.” He whispered softly into your ear as he laid you back down on the bed, placing a pillow underneath your back to make you more comfortable.

His hands slid down your sides, eventually reaching your panties and pulling them down your legs. He leaned down and kissed your clit softly before licking a stripe up your cunt. “Fuckin’ delicious” he practically moaned before coming up and kissing you again so you could taste yourself on him.

your hands reached down and messed with the waistband of his pants making him chuckle once more, “So desperate, So needy, it’s adorable.” Tommy sweetly. “Just need you so bad Tommy. So pretty…want you.” You praised him as your hand cupped his cheek and you kissed his lips softly. “Please” you practically begged.

A smiled played on his lips as he undid his belt and unbuttoned his trousers. “How can I say no to that beautiful face?” He whispered.

It wasn’t long at all before he had taken himself out of his boxers and was lining up with your entrance. He smiled down at you reassuringly “you ready love?” he asked, he would ask if you were ready when he was feeling extra loving, because he was generally quite large and he knew this- so he wanted to make sure. You simply nodded and this enabled him to slowly push inside of you.

The soft hiss that left your mouth soon turned into a pleasurable moan as he pushed inside of you until he was all the way in. He looked down at where you were connected and groaned, titling his head back. “Fuck baby. You take me so well.” He praised sweetly.

after just a moment of letting you adjust he started moving in and out. His pace started off slow, pulling out a bit and slowly easing back inside as far as he could go. But the pleasure was just so good as he slowly fucking into you, he needed more.

“So good f’me. Taking me nice and slow.” He praised once more. Starting to slowly pick up speed. You nodded, as any time you tried to speak the words became muffled by moans and whines.

“More..please.” You were able to mumble out, a whiney and desperate tone in your voice. Tommy groaned and bit his lip at hearing you beg for more of him like that. “If you insist sweetheart.” He responds rather quietly before picking up the pace.

He steadily builds up speed till he is at the point where he is quickly pulling all the way out just to thrust back into you as deep as he can before pulling out and doing it again and again. The room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Your moans and mumbles and his quiet groans accompanying them.

You could feel yourself getting closer to your climax, and he could too as your walls began to clench around him causing him to let out another moan. “Fuck.” he moaned under his breathe. “I’m close sweetheart.” Tommy said quickly, his hips still pistoning into you.

“Me too.” You moaned back, your head nodding feverishly. The feeling in your lower stomach was burning and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

What finally threw you over the edge was when his hand went down and found your clit, rubbing quickly circles onto it. The sensation of his rough calloused fingers on your sensitive clit, combined with him roughly fucking into you was enough to have you coming undone.

You squirmed beneath him as your walls clenched around him and you came while moaning his name loudly, causing him to let out another deep moan. “Fuck. Yes cum all over my cock. Good girl.” Tommy muttered as he kept pushing in and out of you. As you rode out of your high you grabbed his face in your hands, “cum inside. Please.” You asked him, a desperate look in your eyes.

This alone was enough to send him over the edge. He nodded as his hips stuttered and in just a few more thrusts he was filling you up, spilling his seed inside of you, this just caused another moan of his name to fall from your lips.

As he came you could hear him mumbling, “fuck. So good. Love you. Love you so much.” Where all the words falling from his beautiful mouth as he came inside of you.

You both took a moment to catch your breathes before he carefully slid out of you, causing an involuntary and sorta strange noise to leave you. He got up and kissed your forehead before grabbing a damp towel and using it to clean you off gently, dabbing your skin with the nice cool water.

After he finished cleaning you he climbed back in bed, still naked and pulled you into him. You snuggled close and rested your head on his chest. You two just sat there for a moment. Enjoying each other.

“I love you so much.” Were the words he said to break the silence. “And if it takes me never so much as looking at Grace again to make you happy then I will do it.” He promised, kissing the top of your head gently.

You leaned your head a bit and placed a soft kiss on his chest. “Thank you. I love you too.” You said dreamily, snuggling closer into him.

He wrapped both arms around you and held you close. You both had honestly forgotten about the party that was still going on downstairs. You couldn’t seem to care as you just held each other and enjoyed each other presence.

You fell asleep together that night, both naked and holding one another. The next morning when You and Tommy went to go get breakfast and were once again interrupted by Grace who attempted to speak him. Tommy just continued talking to you. He didn’t even look at her.

[janovavalen]

✧UNLOCKING MORE OF HER || percy jackson x fem!reader

part one!

part two!

part three!

part four!

part five!

summary: percy jackson’s first days on camp were hell to say the least—fist day and he got bullied, but when he sneaks away to be alone he finds an interesting girl in the forest.

word count: 3013!

warnings: small curses (literally like one word and it’s not really a curse but it’s considered one) reader is daughter of athena, sister of annabeth, horrid flirting, reader lowkey not felling percy for the first half’s of this story line.

a/n: guys, i def think im like dragging this out to be a slow burn to like don’t hate me HEHEHEHAHAHA

when the day had just begun, percy was so nicely and beautifully woken up with his clothes being thrown into the wet mud by clarisse and her goons. they snickered as they threw us and made sure to twist their feet that laid upon them.

‘oh grate..yeah thanks for the painting on the shirt guys i’ll be sure to give you creds whenever someone asks where i got it’ percy pinter down at the first where his shirt laid that was once orange and was not poopoo brown.

clarisse seemed to be unhappy with the fact he wasn’t shaking in his boots and made her way over to him, shoving him into the mud right where his shirt was painted. grunting as he his the floor, percy looked up at the three of them.

‘dont think you're such a big deal just because you claimed you slayed the minotaur…i still don’t believe you did.’ she smirked down at him as percy kept his quiet, his eyes trained to look up at her.

sneaking she went to signal her followers to do more to his face—perhaps throw mud on it until they heard a stern voice speak behind them.

‘clarisse!’ she shouted.

percy pushed his led up with his arms that laid behind him in the mud, seeing it was y/n he felt the weight of the world set upon his shoulders. his face filled with red from the embarrassment that was unfolding. it just had to be her?

he wouldn’t mind criticism from grover or luke…or even annabeth? but y/n?

looking as she made eye contact with him, percy turned his head with embarrassment and she felt herself feeling a bit of pity for him. sighing with her eyes closed she folded her arms over her chest, her signature pose.

‘don’t you have places to be? other than pushing someone that’s not even your age into the mud to make yourself feel better at the fact nobody has paid attention to you since he git here? jealous are you?’ y/n looked clarisse up and down who scoffed and angrily as she bit the inside of her cheek.

‘let’s go.’ she demanded her goons who stood behind her. they shoved themselves past y/n who moved her shoulder before any of them could check her.

y/n turned to make sure they fully left them, she didn’t have the time to be pushed into the mud this morning unlike percy who shamefully laid down into the mud, accepting his fate.

y/n walked over to percy who looked up through his eyelashes and she looked down at him with only her eyes.

‘aren’t you going to get up? or are you going to sit there and look sad.’ she mumbled as percy looked around and scrambled his way up to eyes hight with y/n who stayed connected to his own.

‘i was going to get up…right when you walked in actually…’

she looked at his clothes as face before straightening her back and head. what percy didn’t expect was for her to reach out and rub the dry splatter of mud on his cheek that he failed to notice was there. his eyes followed her soft hand that rubbed at the hardened dirt. she looked at the rest of his face before humming to herself.

she didn’t say anything else to him, all she did was turn around and walk away from where percy stood. he was purely shocked, but nonetheless. he watched her walk away back to wherever she was really going.

that must have been a sign…it had to be a sign, today he would learn at least one thing about y/n.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as percy swung his sword at luke who dodged and turned, percy grew to accept the fact that every time they dueled it was a never ending repeat of who will win and who will be shamefully walking away to their cabin.

if nobody could tell the one winning would obviously be luke…the one going back to his cabin, would be percy.

‘come on! you can do it—‘

‘no no i can’t!’ percy grunted as he dodged some of luke’s attacks, occasionally getting a good swing in on luke here and there.

‘yes you can! we’ve been doing this since you got here, come on!’ luke encouraged as he pushed his sword over percy’s. the two of them coming into contact as he twisted the sword making it look easy.

percy may get lucky just now? maybe it will finally happen—

‘luke!’ she called out.

percy immediately looked away from luke who saw this as an opportunity and swung his sword at percy making him stumble and fall.

landing right on his back, percy blinked in surprise as he exhaled.

‘oh!’ luke laughed. making his way over to percy who laid on the ground.

‘never take your eyes off of your opponent’ he mumbled to percy who rolled his eyes. luke laughed and pulled out his hand to help percy up who accepted the help and let out a small thanks.

just then he remembered who was actually there. his eyes turning to her immediately, y/n stood, looking at the two boys who looked at her waiting for her to speak.

‘uhm…sorry to interrupt your bonding, but luke your needed at cabin five. some teens are disagreeing and there’s a small fight bound to happen’ y/n warned luke who stood there and rolled his eyes at the immaturity shining though.

‘right…uhm—thanks for telling me n/n’ he placed his sword into its holder on his hip and started to walk but before he fully left he stumbled over to y/n, his hand on her shoulder.

‘oh and please y/n, take him to the bows and train him. i was supposed to but y’know…’ luke gave her a pleading look as she went to intervene but soon gave up when luke looked into her eyes for a bit longer.

percy watched the two of them, his eyes trained on luke’s hand that didn’t leave y/n’s shoulder. he felt his hand flatten against his jeans as he looked up and down at the two of them before clearing his throat.

y/n turned to luke who looked away into the distance as she sighed in defeat.

‘fine…but if this is a thing, i promise—‘

‘i’ll never see the light of day again. i know i know, you're the best!’ luke shouted as he hurried to cabin five.

percy looked at y/n who shook her head at luke.

she wore something more casual as of right now than he saw her in earlier. when he saw her last, she wore more loose pants and a sweatshirt. but now she wore washed out blue jean shorts and the casual orange camp shirt that said camp half blood on it.

her shoes were high top converse like his own, her hair in a half up half down like annabeth’s and her usual necklace full of earned beads to show off. clearing his throat once more in the awkwardness of him just looking at her, unbeknownst to percy, y/n did the same.

‘so—‘ just before he could say anything else she turned her heel and began walking. percy took this as a small sigh and hurried his walk to be right behind her.

‘uh-uhm, i just wanted to thank you for earlier, when you told clarisse and her goons off’ percy looked over at y/n who turned her head a bit to hid the small snicker that failed to be held within her—he succeeded at seeing another emotion from y/n other than serious, dark and mysterious.

‘yeah it’s whatever…don’t mention it’ she mumbled while they cut their way through small groups of people who stood and talked or groups of people who walked by.

‘yeah but i feel like i need to…and i still wanted to thank you for helping me out of the forest the other night? you never let me—‘

‘i’m serious…percy.’ she turned her face to him, her footsteps stopping as she turned her head to him. their eyes connecting, blue meeting (e/c) as she held their eye contact—‘don’t mention it’ y/n finished.

percy nodded his head as the two of them continued to walk their way to the bows and arrows.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

‘pick your bow, and get down arrows. get enough so that if and when you fail, you’ll have some to back it up’ y/n spoke boldly ad the two of them stood alone.

luke so happened to pick a day when most of the cabins would be doing other training other than bows and arrows. y/n and percy had the small place alone.

no others. just them alone. together.

‘i won’t fail—‘

‘they all say that’ she shrugged her shoulders as percy rolled his eyes and grabbed the arrows with his bow in hand.

once he got himself ready with the bow gripped in his hand and the arrow in his other.

y/n stood next to him, her figure not to far from his.

‘arms up’ she instructed. percy did just that. his eyes staying focused but his mindset focused on her—he didn’t know what it was but he found it a bit difficult to work properly and concentrate with her near him.

‘place the arrow on the bow and aim for the middle, if you can’t that’s fine, but i would be impressed if you ca make it into the middle’ she folded her arms over her chest like always as she waited for percy to shoot his shot at the red dot sitting on the target in front of him.

breathing out he looked to his backside where he was and mumbled—‘what if i can’t make it into the middle like you want?’ he asked. worried for her answer but ready for it.

she bit her lip a bit to make sure her answer was right. quaking up her eyebrows as she shrugged she began to speak—‘there are no what if’s…there are just doing. don't be worried about what others want from you. do what you want.’

she looked at him in his eyes as he looked down into the grass.

what could she possibly mean? how did that even answer his question…to be fair it answered some of it but not all of it. could her response be related to how she feels? could this be his opportunity to learn something about her?

‘okay…right’ he mumbled. she looked ahead while waiting for him to take his shot. percy prepared himself before pulling back his arms and shooting the arrow.

it flew into the air…it flew straight. could he get it? could this be his moment to empress y/n?

watching anxiously as time seem to slow he watched his arrow go straight, straight and soon straight into the dirt that laid behind the standing target.

‘hm…’ y/n mumbled making percy turn to her.

‘i almost had that! it must be the wind—‘

‘there is no wind today…it’s perfectly sunny, no clouds’ y/n looked up at the sky, prompting percy to do the same who of course did as he saw she was right. not a cloud in sight.

‘i—i wasn’t ready’

‘there’s more arrows…make yourself ready. there might come a time where your put up to something and you need to be ready’ she told him.

percy frowned his eyebrows once more and looked at her as he let his arms drop to his side—‘okay, what is up with you and these instagram superhero quotes or something? why do you keep telling me these things?’

‘telling you what things?’ she tilted her head a bit while looking at percy who scoffed.

‘might come a time, need to be ready?there are no what if’s—who says that?’

‘…me?’ she frowned, her eyes bows.

‘obviously you but why? why do you keep telling me these things?’ percy waited for a answer as he was only met with a small smile from y/n.

she walked her way over to him and fixed the beads on his necklace that laid atop his shirt.

‘your beads are in the wrong order…ones chipped?’ she changed the subject, of course. but she was talking, and that’s all the mattered in the moment.

‘i fell—‘

‘you were pushed?’

‘same thing.’ percy mumbled. y/n scoffed a bit while patting his heads over his neck.

‘you can get a new one y’know? if you're not happy with that one’ she looked him in the eyes before he nervously looked away and back at her.

‘i’m okay with it, it’s not like they’re gold or something’ y/n blinked at his response and hummed.

percy couldn’t help but look down at her own beads and saw the fact she had plenty…probably more than annabeth and luke. she had one that looked rare, the rest like the others. her and her shared at least two of them. he still had some time to go.

‘i tell you these things because somebody wasn’t there to tell me…we’re the same age i know, but that doesn't mean anything. i can still tell people things i wished were told to me’ she mumbled.

percy felt his eyes soften at her words and his hands loosen around the arrow that was once tight in his hand.

she wished someone told her the things he’d been telling here? could they be more similar in ways he didn’t know? just then it hit him. he learned something small about y/n. one down plenty to go.

‘wait—weren’t you supposed to train me today? i don’t think i’m well with an arrow yet, and i hear you're pretty good?’ percy tried to make y/n stay after seeing she tried to make her leave.

y/n had her back turned before she turned his way and looked him up and down—‘i couldn’t stay for long, i have others to train…i’ll train you tomorrow morning, i’ll tell luke he can have you in the evening. you better be ready, i don’t go easy’ she told while turning away from percy who stood his spot in the middle of the grass.

she wanted to see him tomorrow.

well…not like that. it’s for training but she didn’t have to offer it, but she did. so? this could mean something.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

‘it has to mean something right?’ percy stressed to grover who groaned while he threw his head back into the bed.

percy’s thoughts raced over and over, could she want to see him? did she want to see him? did she possibly want to know about him just as much as he felt the need to know about her? was this a prank? because if so it wasn’t funny.

after percy had found himself useless in forgetting about it at lunch he rushed us way to grover who had happened to be in his cabin resting. reading a book, with his pajamas on. his day was peaceful until percy threw himself into his cabin like a mad man.

he had been talking to grover about y/n for the past thirty minutes now, non stop.

‘i don’t know…maybe?’

‘but what if it doesn’t mean anything and she’s truly just trying to be a good friend right? wait….do you think she thinks of me as a friend?’ percy had a whole new possibility pop into his head.

‘maybe?’ grover mumbled while holding his head in his hands.

‘maybe? grover! maybe isn’t a answer right now, i really need your help and expertise! you know her right? your like twenty something so you definitely know her, how did she become your friend? how long did it take?’

‘like…two years? i don’t know, she’s reserved and very secretive, very stealthy too’

‘i know, it’s almost like she’s always around without me knowing which is kind of cool and kind of scary’ grover smiled and nodded at this before percy once more continued his speech.

‘but you didn’t answer my other question? how did she become your friend?’

grover wittingly looked up into the ceiling before letting out a breath as he thought.

‘uhm…i don’t know? i just…one day i guess she called me g for the first time as my nickname then after that she started to talks to me a lot more and joke with me?’

‘so, she didn’t really have a way to become your friend she just did?’

‘yeah i guess?’ grover shrugged as percy threw his head back into the bed, his hands over his eyes.

‘this isn’t helping at all grover!’ he whined into his hands as grover laughed and shrugged once more.

‘dude i don’t know im sorry! did you talk to luke?’

‘of course i did, he basically said the same things you're saying…’ percy sat up with a helpless look on his face.

grover felt himself feeling a bit bad and being unhelpful to percy and helping him understand probably one of the most hardest things to understand which was y/n.

grover let an idea pop into his head—

‘listen…she likes (f/f) and (f/c) try like…showing it off as you eat it at breakfast tomorrow and wear your one (f/c) jacket tomorrow, that might get a bit of her attention.’ grover explained while percy nodded.

‘—and if it doesn’t talk to her as you guys train, talk about new york, she’s always wanted to go. talk about anything that she might like…try to make tomorrow about her and maybe you might get five steps into her three hundred doors of being officially her friend’

grover explained slowly and lowly to percy who absorbed everything that he was being told. remembering everything he nodded his what and smiled a bit at grover.

‘thanks grove’ you really do help when you want’ percy teased him as he rolled his eyes—‘i help all the time don’t act like i don’t’ percy laughed making grover do the same.

taglist:

@ifilwtmfc

[hepburnswan]

I did it.

you are kenough

🌸 pt 2 🌸

🌸 pt 3 🌸

pairing: ken x reader

summary: ken does some self reflecting after the patriarchy incident and personally apologizes to all the barbies

warnings: little fluff, little angst, reader is a barbie, talk ab gender equality?? can be read as platonic or romantic ig 🤷‍♀️

word count: 1.3k

authors note: ok this is kind of goofy but i thought ken needs to repent after what he did and also why not throw a bit of fluff in 🤗 also this is my first fic ever dont hate on me 😭

special shoutout to my bsf june for being both my cheerleader and my proofreader ‼️

It had only been a couple of days since Barbieland had been restored to its rightful state. The barbies were back in charge, no longer evicted from their homes, and things were starting to get back to normal. Not only that - but changes were being made. Though barbies continued to be the leaders of Barbieland, the Kens’ message was heard loud and clear - they no longer wanted to be accessories to barbies. And that was fair. But there still was some understandable tension between the two groups. After all, it’s not every day you get kicked out of your own house and treated like a servant.

For those couple of days, you had kept to yourself, and that was okay - though you normally loved to have fun with the other barbies and kens, you didn’t mind being alone. What wasn’t okay was that you didn’t dare to leave your dreamhouse, almost fearing that if you left you might not be able to come back to it. For the days after the incident, you avoided the kens like the plague, and that was something strange and new for you. Sure, they had their moments, but even then, they had always been sweet. You never dreamed you’d actually lose your trust in them.

When the other barbies would wave to you from their dreamhouses, asking if you would be at the beach, at their party, etc., you simply told them you weren’t feeling well.

You weren’t feeling well, that was the truth.

Never once living in Barbieland did you have to worry about being oppressed. Never once did you have to worry about being, well, a Barbie! That was the fate of the people who lived in the real world. Never once did you think that could happen in Barbieland.

But it had, and you didn’t think you could recover.

So you sat on your sofa all day, sipping your imaginary coffee, almost waiting for something to happen.

A knock on the door.

You were almost sure it was one of the other barbies, checking up on you because they were worried, but instead you opened up the door to see him.

Ken. The Ken. King of the Beach. Tall, blonde, athletic. Always happy, always kind. At least you had thought so. It was a shame. You had always liked Ken.

“Hi Barbie,” He says nervously.

“Hi Ken,” you say, without a hint of cheerfulness.

“Can I, um.. can I come in?”

“Why? Have you come to take back your Mojo Dojo Casa House?”

“No, Barbie.”

A moment of silence. Though you were wary, you knew you couldn’t keep living like this. You couldn’t hide forever. Motioning for him to enter, you sigh.

“Come in.”

He perks up a little, before sliding into the house. He’s not really sure what to do with himself, so he just kind of stands there awkwardly.

“Uh.. here,” you say, motioning to the couch. He follows, and the two of you sit down.

“So. Why are you here then?” You ask, your voice a quiet mix between anger and sadness. You can’t gather the courage to look him in the eye, instead staring down at your feet.

“I came to apologize.”

“Hmm. You did?”

You can feel the tears beginning to well. In your throat, in your eyes. You had never had real tears, not until all of this had happened.

“Yes Barbie, I did. Oh god, where do I even start. Barbie, you deserve so much better than what we did to you. I’m sorry we took your dreamhouse. I’m sorry we made you wait on us. I’m sorry we treated you - that we made you feel - like you were insignificant. You are so much more than that.”

You can’t take it. A sob rips from your throat, the tears spilling over your eyes. You can’t stop. You cover your face in embarrassment.

Ken immediately rushes closer to you. “Hey, hey,” he says quietly. He’s not sure if he should hug you; he instead just ends up resting a delicate hand on your back, patting it every now and then. “Oh Barbie, please don’t cry … I’m sorry, I’m so sorry..”

You’re choking on your tears, almost hyperventilating.

“Alright, hey, it’s okay. Just take a deep breath, alright, it’ll be okay.”

When you’re finally able to calm yourself down, Ken continues.

“You have got every right to be upset. All the barbies do. But I can’t help but notice you’ve taken it harder than everyone else.”

You’re almost angry at that last sentence. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Did he seriously expect you to just get over this?

Ken seems to pick up on this, and adds, “And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing either. Like I said, you’ve got every right to be upset. I’m just worried about you!”

The anger begins to subside.

“You .. you haven’t been at the beach in days! You love the beach, Barbie.”

“I loved the beach.”

Silence.

“Barbie .. I just wanna see you happy again. We all do.”

Nothing.

“Barbie.. what can I do to fix this?”

You finally look up at him, tears in your eyes.

“Why did you do it, Ken?”

He gazes back at you, his expression even sadder then it already was. Now it’s him who can barely look you in the eye.

“Barbie,”

“Yeah?”

“First of all I want you to know that I’m not trying to excuse anything I did. But if knowing will make you feel better, I’ll tell you.”

You nod, unsure of what you’re about to hear.

“Barbie .. I just don’t feel good enough. I thought being in charge of everything would make me feel important. That it would make me feel better about myself. I was wrong though. I just ended up hurting people that didn’t deserve it. It was so, so wrong. I was wrong, Barbie. I’m so so sorry.”

“Ken ..”

He begins to cry himself. “And now I’ve hurt you, I’ve hurt you so bad you don’t even feel like you can leave your dreamhouse!”

It’s then when Ken lets out a series of comically loud sobs, face cupped by his hands.

“Oh Ken..” you say sympathetically, rushing over to the counter to grab a box of tissues. “Here..”

Ken sniffles, blowing imaginary snot into the tissue. You pat him on the back gently, just as he had done for you earlier.

“I’m sorry, Barbie. I’m totally pathetic,” he whines.

Sitting down next to him, you take his hand into yours. “You’re not pathetic, Ken. You’re showing remorse, that you truly are sorry for what you did. That’s not pathetic.”

“You think so?” he sniffs.

“I do. Ken, you never needed to change yourself to be enough for other people. You always were enough. You’re kenough, Ken!” you giggle, pointing at his sweatshirt.

“Ah, yeah..” he laughs. “You think so?”

“Yes, Ken. I liked you before patriarchy. You were always kind, and funny and caring, and I was always happy to be around you. When you changed, not only did I feel disrespected.. I was sad. I missed the way you all were before. I get it - you don’t wanna be second to the barbies. But you could’ve said that-“

“Another way,” Ken interjects.

“Yes.”

“I know, Barbie. That’s what I feel awful about. I know I sound like a broken record, but I really am sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Ken. Everyone should feel heard in Barbieland.” you mutter quietly.

For a moment, the two of you sit there, nodding heads in silent agreement, before Ken asks,

“Barbie?”

“Hm?”

“You really liked the way I was before?”

“Yes, Ken. Like I said, you don’t need to change yourself. For anyone. You’re enough, the way you are.”

“Then I won’t ever change again,” he says, before pulling you into a hug.

“I hope not,” you smile, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Barbie?”

“Yes, Ken.”

“Will you be at the beach?”

“Yes, Ken. I’ll be at the beach.”

[honeybeefae]

Revenge Fuck Eris

Use Me (Eris x Reader)

BINGO: Revenge Fuck

(Okay I am back and I am READY! Also going to apologize for making this so short but i KNOW y’all will want a part two so dont worry. This was hella fun to write and I definitely think Eris would be 100% for a revenge fuck because he would egg you on. I really think this is one of my best-written scenes and I hope you guys enjoy it!)

WARNINGS: Smut, mentions of cheating (both parties), semi-public sex

What. The. Fuck.

Those were the three words your mind was repeatedly screaming when you walked in on Azriel, your boyfriend, your best friend, the man you’ve been with for years, pinning the youngest Archeron sister against the wall with his head buried in her neck. 

There was no explaining away the situation. Nothing innocent about the pose and you felt a dangerous mix of anger and betrayal brewing deep in your soul. You had stood there frozen as Elain’s eyes had met your own, at first widening in surprise and shame before Azriel did something that had her gasping and moaning.

You balled up your fists and heavily contemplated murdering them both before your shoulders sagged and you turned and left the room. It felt like all the rooms were caving in around you, your blood rushing to your ears as you stumbled down the hallway trying to find your room.

“Y/N?” A garbled voice called out, your mind not even registering it until the person physically stopped you and shook your shoulders. “Y/N!”

Your eyes blinked away the tears that were falling down your face as you made out the face of Eris. You had forgotten he was staying in the Night Court for the night, the Solstice party upstairs still in full swing.

“Leave me alone, Eris. I’m not in the mood.” You frowned, pushing his hands off of you and turning around. He rolled his eyes and grabbed your wrist, stopping you once more. It pissed you off.

“I said leave me alone!”

“Who did this to you?” He asked quietly, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Who made you cry?”

“It doesn’t matter.” You hiccuped, looking at your shoes. When you had found them all you had felt was rage but now that you were alone, you were consumed by sadness and shame. What if’s were running through your mind, wondering if you had done something or if you had become unattractive. It was gnawing at your gut. 

“It does to me,” Eris murmured, putting two fingers under your chin so you were looking at him. “What happened?”

Eris, despite his flaws and the rumors around him, had always treated you well. You were his favorite member of Rhysand’s court if he had to choose though that wasn’t saying much. The two of you had similar fathers and bonded over it. Sometimes you would joke around and it always bothered Azriel. In fact, if you were ever close to Eris with Azriel in the same room he seemed to have a problem with it.

All that being said, could your trust Eris? Would he laugh in your face and confirm your worst fears? Would he use it to hurt you later? There was still so much that you didn’t know about him it was hard to decide if he was who he presented himself as.

But as he watched you, you saw no laughter or judgment in his eyes. Just worry.

“I caught,” You took a shuddering breath, wrapping your arms around yourself as the scene replayed in your head. “I caught Azriel and Elain…they were, he was…”

You couldn’t even finish the sentence. It felt like you were going to be physically sick if you continued speaking so you closed your mouth and closed your eyes, trying to take deep breaths.

His fingers disappeared from your chin and you had thought he had left, too uncomfortable to say anything or perhaps even go gossip, but when you peeked out you saw him still standing there.

Except his eyes were now filled with cold rage, his jaw tense. You saw that his fist was curled up by his side and could physically feel the heat coming off of him. He turned to look behind him, as if contemplating if he should go find the couple, before turning back to you.

“What an ignorant, foolish male,” Eris growled, long strands of red hair falling in front of his face as he shook his head. “To go out and find a star when he had a whole galaxy right in front of him.”

Your head snapped up to look at him when he finished his sentence, confusion evident on your face. What had he just said? 

“What?” You asked quietly.

“You heard me.” He whispered, watching you take in his words. “He’s a fool to go after someone like her when he has you. If you were mine…”

Eris cut his sentence short, tightening his lips to stop whatever confession was about to spill from his mouth. You, however, wanted to hear it and stepped closer to him. The tears on your face were shining in the candlelight of the hallway as you gazed up at him, your heart thrumming.

“If I was yours?” 

“I do not wish to make things harder on you. I shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. Let me escort you back to the party.” He ushered, trying to change the topic. However, you planted your feet firmly on the ground to root yourself in place. 

“No, I don’t want to go back to the party.” You said stubbornly, raising your chin. “Finish what you were going to say.”

“If I finish that sentence I am afraid my rocky alliance with this court will come tumbling down. Please.” His voice was tense but you could see how his cheeks flushed, how his breathing was just a little faster, and you couldn’t stop yourself from pushing back once more.

“Oh for goodness sake, Eris, just-” You began frustratedly, gasping when you suddenly found yourself pressed against the cool brick of the hallway with Eris looming over you. His body was pressed fully against you, his hand lightly grasping your face, and you could swear you could feel something grazing your thigh.

“If you were mine I would take care of you properly. I wouldn’t leave you in search of anyone else, I wouldn’t need anyone else.” He breathed into your ear, swallowing thickly. “If you were mine…I would ruin all other men for you. I would teach you so many things, show you how a lady like yourself should properly be bedded and fucked. You would begin every morning and end every night with my name on your lips and your legs wrapped around me.”

His words went straight to your sex and you couldn’t stop the small whimper that escaped you. Eris had always been a distant friend, if that, but you couldn’t deny his beauty. The way he carried himself, his attitude, and even his walk had you staring for longer than you care to admit.

You knew your body wanted this…you knew Eris wanted this…but then your mind flashed back to Azriel. The man who you lived with, the man who made you feel safe and secure. He had always made sure your needs were met, that you never wanted for anything. 

And he also was currently in another room screwing Elain Archeron’s brains out.

It seemed Eris caught your hesitation and while a small part of him wrestled with the morality of what he was intending to do, the bigger part wanted to show you just how better you could be treated. He also liked the fact that he would be taking something from the sulking Illyrian, something he didn’t understand the true value of. 

“Come on, little fox.” Eris purred into your ear, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin. “Use me. Get revenge. Let me show you what you need.”

Your eyes closed, feeling like you were standing between two doors that led to different fates. All sorts of conflicting feelings were swirling in your soul but when Eris trailed a hand up your leg, hiking it over his hip, the answer became crystal clear.

You wanted him. 

“Yes, yes.” You nodded, raising your hands to tangle in his hair. “Ruin me.”

A low growl rumbled in his chest as he crashed his lips against your own, your teeth gnashing together in carnal need as he easily moved your other leg so that you were now fully wrapped around him. The taste of him had you growing even wetter as he slid his tongue into your mouth, using one of his hands to free himself before shoving your panties to the side.

You cried out and threw your head back when he thrust into you fully, the delicious stretch of his cock feeling better than any man you had had before. He immediately set a hard pace, angling his hips so he reached that spot inside you that had you clenching around him tightly.

“Fuck, Eris, oh my gods…” You whined, your dress bunched up at your hips as your feet bounced with his thrust. Eris was no better, his lips moving to start biting at your neck and shoulder. He was being rough, his teeth catching your skin, but you loved it. It was making you feel a high you didn’t get with Azriel.

“I knew you’d be tight for me, knew you’d take me so well.” He praised as he grabbed both of your asscheeks for better leverage. “Do I fuck you better than that bastard? Hm?”

When you tried to answer he gave a particularly hard thrust that made you see stars, your eyes rolling back into your head as you rested it against the wall. You could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching, faster than ever, and you knew you were going to drown in it. 

He knew it too, could see the small o your lips were creating as he licked a long stripe up your neck and to your ear. Your hands moved his hair to grasp his shoulders, your nails digging so hard into his skin that you pierced it. 

“Look at you, Y/N, letting me fuck your pretty cunt in the hallway where anyone could see. But that’s what you want, isn’t it?” He taunted, his balls tightening with the need to release. “You want him to find you, to see you getting split in half by me. You want to be claimed in front of the world.” 

You tried to shake your head but Eris grunted in disapproval, squishing your face in his hand until your eyes were forced open. His pupils were blown wide in lust, matching your own, and you swore it was just the two of you in the whole world. 

“Say it.”

“I want it,” You moaned, right on the cusp of ecstasy. “I want him to see me like this, for him to see how much better you are.”

Eris snarled and kissed you once more, hitting that spot in you one more time and sending you toppling over the edge. It made your entire body shake and you felt like you were floating on air. He followed you into bliss easily, releasing inside of you until you were filled to the brim.

Both of you were sharing breaths when he pulled away, resting his forehead against your own. He still had you pinned which you were thankful for as you weren’t sure if you could walk yet. You came down slowly as you realized what had just happened, what you had just done.

And where you expected guilt to reside you felt…nothing. In fact, more than anything, you felt hungry for more. It was like brushing over a bite that itched. You couldn’t get just a taste, you needed everything. You needed to scratch that itch until you were satisfied.

When your eyes connected with his you knew Eris felt the same way. You smiled, exposing all your teeth, before nodding once. He gave you a small smirk and held you tightly against him before winnowing away to his temporary room in the Night Court.

Both of you missed the pair of vengeful hazel eyes watching you from the end of the hallway. 

[dazedazaii]

hi haein bb 🌷 can i join your christmas event with the ‘let’s host together’ prompt with beastzai? angst if possible but if you want i don’t mind fluff!!! tysm and happy december to chuu<3

please come home for christmas — o. dazai (beast)

in which the house is empty, and yokohamas streets are silent.

cw: angst !! hurt no comfort. not edited.

it was considered normal for dazai to come home late. it was a routine perfectly performed everyday; dazai would come home (if he ever does come home,) microwave the dinner that is on the stove and pan, covered by a lid originally belonging to the pots, and shower. he slips into bed ever so quietly, ever so gently that you don’t even realize he had come home.

and yet despite all of that routine, he promised. promised to come home early, even if it was just for today. so then why, why were you sitting in idle, hearing the sound of the ticking clock etching into your brain. the dinner by then had probably already gone cold, the steam of the food had given up and the aroma of various dishes that both you and the maids have made filled the room.

it was silent.

you glanced out the window.

“ah, it’s snowing.” one of the maids whispered to themself in surprise. everyone was so sidetracked with creating the dishes and waiting for dazai that they had failed to see the snow quietly falling down.

��p- perhaps the lord is on his way … the snow may be causing traffic.” the maids shifted uncomfortably as they tried to reassure you, giving comforting, yet somewhat forced, smiles. you sighed. it can’t be helped.

“if he’s late, he’s late.” you pushed the table gently as stood up from your chair, dusting yourself off of nothing and pushing your chair in, looking down at your feet before excusing yourself.

“please, enjoy what you have set on the table. if osamu even comes home, tell him i have given you full permission to eat.” with that, you left the large kitchen and made your way to the shared bedroom.

perhaps it was just you, but the house felt cold. even after a hot bath, you felt awfully chilly. the bed, one where you found the most warmth was found, felt as if there was no coverage on your shivering body. the mattress felt solid and before, you used to sink into it, eyes shut and a gentle smile on your face.

and there was that stomach twisting feeling. you took your phone from the light stand, to check if osamu had called you at all, hell, maybe a quick text, and yet, to no avail. you took a quick sigh of frustration and called his number, hugging his pillow as his scent wafted into your nose.

“hello ?” he sounded bored and unamused, paper rustled in the background as you cracked open your dry lips.

“have you forgotten ? you promised to come home early today.”

“ah, i was gonna call you ‘bout that …” osamu sighed from the other line, the sound of flipping paper being placed away made your blood boil.

“sorry, angel. chuuya’s holding me captive ..” he whined, sighing. there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

“have you not told chuuya you were gonna help me with decorating the house ? or … at least have dinner ..?” your voice faded down into sadness, the room dark and your face starting to get hot and nose stuffy.

“hahh ? i …” he paused to think. scratch that, pretend to think, as if he was a child being asked a question of if he either liked his mother or father better.

“dont think .. soo ~? listen, angel, things have just gotten really busy and i —”

you ended the call. a migraine was going to grow if you heard any excuse from him.

christmas was underwhelming. your lover broke the promise he made, and dazai isn’t one to break promises, let alone make ones he cannot keep.

you set your phone away, ignoring the buzzing vibrations of phone calls as you tucked yourself into bed. perhaps you’ll talk to him if he comes home.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

[zombholic]

CONSUMED PT. 2 — abby anderson

summary — the fame really consumed her.

description — rockstar!abby, poc fem!reader, explicit content, sfw & nsfw, modern au, no post outbreak.

authors note — lets pray i don’t abandon this series, i dont like this chapter but guys i promise it will get better!

It had only been two days in your trip and you couldn’t get her out your head, Abby was consuming your mind, so fucking stupid she probably doesn’t even remember you.

You were trying to get ready, Ellie wanted to go to this club so badly that she was on her knees begging you to come along so she wouldn’t be left alone with Jesse’s insufferable ass, her words.

Sitting down on the toilet seat on this small hotel room you were scrolling through instagram, more specifically Abby’s page.

You felt like you were going to throw up your own heart, how the fucking stars aligned of course she was coming here for her tour the week you were visiting.

“Can you hurry up! I have to shit!” Jesse started banging on the door.

“Shut up!” You quickly turned your phone off and opened the door only to be quickly pushed out by the man who looks like he’s about to shit himself.

Ellie was facing the mirror fixing her hair, she turned around to look at you with a smile on her face.

“How many girl am I gonna pull tonight?” She bit her bottom lip giving you the light skin Justin Bieber face.

“I’m going to punch you in the throat.” You rolled your eyes going over to sit on the bed.

“What’s wrong now?” She sat beside your feet placing her hand on your knee.

“Abby’s coming to Madison Square tomorrow what if i run into her?” Ellie laughed at your stupid question.

“Did you forget that asshole is like an A-list celeb now, there’s no chance you’ll run into her bitchass.” You knew she was right but secretly you wished it would happen.

The club seemed so much more popular than Ellie said, you could spot out influencers left and right. You clung onto Ellie like your life depended on it, mostly because you were known for getting lost easily.

Ellie was sparking up conversations with every girl she saw, Jesse was on the floor dancing his heart out with his drink in hand, you were sat at the bar sipping on your frozen margarita.

“Stop looking all sad and dance with me.” Ellie hands you a shot which you gratefully took.

She grabs your hand and takes you over to Jesse who was definitely drunk by now, all three of you snapped your neck over to the direction of where the commotion started to grow louder by the second.

Jesse being Jesse he ran over the crowd that started to form, you and Ellie chasing him down. Slipping between people you had managed to grab the loop of his jeans.

“Need to get you a damn leash—“ “Y/n?” The voice sounded so familiar but you refused to turn around.

“No, nope, let’s go!” Ellie grabbed your arm along with Jesse’s.

You turned your head to see the commotion that was started by Abby, your eyes meeting each others for just a moment.

Jesse threw himself onto the bed groaning and complaining that his head was hurting, Ellie made him chug a glass of water before sending him to bed like he was her child.

You were still in shock seeing Abby, how is it that the same day you see her post you meet her at the club? Maybe this was a dream and you’ll wake up. Your heart felt like it was going to break once more while it was trying to heal.

“I think I may have jinxed what I said earlier.” Ellie rubbed your back a hint of guilt lingered in her voice.

“I’m just gonna go to bed.” You gave her a tight lipped smile.

Your phone chimed a couple of times, you dried your face off with a towel before grabbing it thinking it was Ellie asking you for something.

[strawberrylips-1211]

Bittersweet pt. 2

Pt.1

Hobie x reader

Regretful (noncanon?) hobie

(*warning* Not proofread)

Hobie was left alone in your shared bathroom, it was quiet, he was finishing up cleaning himself. Guilt washed over his body as he kept replaying the incident of earlier, he didnt mean to yell at you so harshly. When he was coming home all he could think about is cuddling up in your embrace and falling asleep next to you, he knew he shouldn’t have used his condition as an excuse for his actions towards you. It’d been a long two days, from Miguel’s constant orders, to the villains who refused to give up, he didnt know why he even grabbed you so aggressively, he just wanted some space, but not like this. He closed his eyes and sighed, ‘shit, the hell is wrong w` me’ he knew your nagging was coming from a place of love and worry, he found it endearing most of the time, he himself couldn’t wrap his head around his behavior. He made his way back to the bedroom but you were nowhere to be seen, his heart sank a little. No matter what argument you two had, you never slept apart from one another, it became a habit that you couldn’t go without now. Seeing you go out of your way to avoid him only made him realize how much he had overreacted.

'Who does he take me for?' You thought to yourself. Your heart ached as you cried, it wasn't just how he had yelled at you, but all the stress and anxiety youd been feeling these past few days had finally caught up to you. It pained you to see him a battered and hurt, it doubled thses past few days that you hadn't heard a peep from him. Your wrists ached a bit from earlier, you hugged yourself as you laid in bed replaying the situation. Your tears hadn’t stopped flowing since, you hated how weak you look at the moment, but you were just so angry. You would normally give him a piece of your mind, but his tone and the look on his face, were something you never thought he’d show you. 

Hobie cleaned up his cuts and showered as quickly as he could to try and talk to you, apologize. He opened the bathroom door to find you gone, you weren't in your shared bedroom, he tried calling out to you, but there was no response. His stomach churned uncomfortably as he scrambled through the house to find you,, luckily he found your keys and coat still in their place, he finally reached the guest room, seeing your back turned to him, curled up under the sheets. He sighed in relief as he walked up to you. “Love? You awake?” You had heard the bedroom door open up knowing who it was. He called out to you, hoping he could apologize before you fell asleep. His footsteps echoed a bit as he got closer to you. “Look, I’m so sorry for being such a dick earlier, I wa-“

He froze at the sight, your shaking shoulders and your sniffles gave you away, You tried to pretend to be asleep, but you couldn’t help the tears from falling down your face, you were so frustrated and annoyed, mostly hurt, how could your sweet boyfriend be so rude? All you wanted to do was care for him... He kneeled on the floor next to you, he gently grabbed your shoulder to make you face him. As soon as he saw your pretty face full of sadness, he was mentally beating himself up for being the cause. Your lashes still wet and your nose red just like your cheeks, you never liked how you looked when you cried but even now Hobie thought you were beautiful, he was determined to make things right and put a smile back on your face. He reached to cup your cheeks, as you met his gaze, you didn't say anything, simply roll your eyes at him. He wiped away a few stray tears, before finally speaking again, "look i am so so sorry, really...it wasn't my intention. I'm not here to excuse what I did. I just- i dont know, I fucked up, I shouldn't have shouted, I shouldn't have held onto you like that. I know you were just worried ." His words only made you tear up even more, "then why'd you do it, do you know how I felt when I didnt hear from you?...I thought the very worst Hobie." You whisper trying so hard not breakdown then and there, his touch is warm and his scent is so comforting, but you can't be tempted, you want explanations.

You sit up as you speak looking down at your lap, he grabs your hands and examines your wrist, his guilt eating away at him even more now. He caresses them and handles them with care, he brings them to his lips, kissing them softly as if trying to lessen the irritation. "I'm so fucking sorry love, I'm sorry. I tried calling but fucking miguel kept pushing all these missions on me, I didn't have the time, I missed you and then to top it off I got the shit beat out of me, I just wanted to come home. I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I do... I didnt want you to see me in such a state, but I should just let you help me. I'm sorry for being a stubborn arse..." looking up at you with such a pleading expression and his regretful voice, you can tell he's being honest, you don't know what to do...you sigh and interlock your fingers together with his, "I'm glad you recognize your mistake Hobie, but you really scared me tonight."

Fuck, he's on the verge of tears, his hand tightens ever so slightly against yours as he leans his forehead against them, "I know and I'll keep making up for it for the rest of my life, I regret it so badly. I promise it won't ever happen again." both of you stay quiet for a bit, letting your emotions settle, "does it still hurt?" He asks, talking about your wrists, soothing the area with his thumb, you shake you head lightly, "i just wish you would trust me more Hobie, i wish you could let me help you, this was so unfair on your part, you had me anxious that something had happened to you only for you to come back home in the worst condition...how do I know something like this won't happen again?" Your voice cracking and you sniffle again. He bit his lip ring as he listened, "I'll listen to you, I'll be more open, I'll call you if anything happens, I'll make time for you. I'll do anything, I'm beggin here." He pleads as holds both of you hands in his as he stares into your eyes looking for any response, you stay silent, it take you a minute to respond and though it went against your better judgment, you decide to forgive him, "fine...just this once will this happen Hobart Brown, there is no other chance after this" you warn your tone stern but a little weary from crying.

He immediately hugs you, squeezing you tightly, ignoring the pain from his injuries, kissing your shoulder, then your cheek and finally your lips. In between every kiss, he take the opportunity to profusely apologize, never again would he make his girl feel like this again, much less handle her anything less than precious. You finally smiled and giggled as he did, "I've missed you hobs" you sigh as you hugged him. "Alright now let's go, I havent been able to sleep catch a wink of sleep, all cuz of O'Hara." He says playfully as he lifts you princess style back to your shared bedroom and places you ever so gently on the bed, he lays next you, as soon as your back into his arms its like every negative emotion left your mind, you drift to sleep, hearing his steady heart beat and taking in his warmth. His hands soothing your back, as he watches you close your eyes, he stays awake a little longer, admiring you, your features, feeling your body flush against his. He kissed your forehead, "I love you" he whispered, he wasn't ready to say it out loud just yet, but someday he might.. he missed you so much, it almost drove him crazy, he was an fool (for you), and he swore to himself again, that he would go to the ends of the earth just to keep you happy.

I'm sorry for how fucking long this was, and I'm also super sorry how long it took me to finally finish :(. I know this isn't very good but I didnt mean to keep this going, either way, I hope you enjoy! Please PLEASE let me know what you think. I love y'all (also I tried to tag everyone who requested a pt.2) 🤍

@bleuatlas @spedermannmorales @luujjvi @buddhapooksrealwife @denuparxoume @archiviststar @saturncodedstarlette @teddyitalia @dasichaconne @xoxobabe @soilmayo @kingofthemfingpirates @autumn-hiraeth @moomooooosworld @millerworld @toezies @casmosmoon @mayyasposts @simpdevil66 @prettygirlthingz-222 @nevillesbestie @cur1yfics @nyxisdreaming @buddhapooksrealwife @idont-really-know @skdnnssn @nae4chips

[lxmine]

Heyy! I’m the person that asked for the pt 2 for the chest hc’s <3 I was wondering if you can do kissing hc’s for dottore, childe, Capitano, or Al haitham? (Separate) I loveee your writing <3

❝shut up.❞ + dottore, childe, capitano, al haitham

+. fluff, lots of kissing, slight suggestive

+. summary ; genshin men kissing head canons <3

+. A/N yawl this isnt smut ok T-T but its kinda suggestive but not rlly, as you know im a minor so i wont be writing it too smutty LMAO AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR SUPPORTING ME! I HAVE REACHED 60 FOLLOWERS AND U GUYS DONT KNOW HOW GREATFUL I AM FOR THIS <33 ILY GUYS SO MUCH

dottore

your first kiss with him was just kinda normal. this dude does not make a single reaction when he kissed you for the first time.

not bcuz he didnt like it, it was just its so he could tease you about it.

“did… you not like it?” “oh dear, i was spacing out, darling. would you mind doing it again?” he smirks as he sits down on his chair and then pulls you closer by the waist, while looking up at you.

he loves it when you get all shy on him.

he’s not a fan of pda but i think if needed to be obvious, he would take off his mask while glaring at the person who was trying to get with you and just pull you in close and LITERALY make out with you.

he’s a sadist of course he loved the embarrassed look on your face.

but if you’re feeling sad and if he loves you enough to even comfort you (i dont think he’ll be that affectionate and just date for the thrill of it or just so he could have you as a personal test subject, but he’s hot) he’ll sit you on his lap and kiss you on your neck while he listens to your problem.

he also loves your neck sm, like when youre at home and wearing something that reveals your neck, he’d come behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as he kisses your neck softly.

capitano

bro is majestic, passionate, and good at kissing ;)

i really like the thought of him being a big softie because!? why not!?!?!

whenever the two of you are cuddling, and your face is buried against his chest, he’s give you small head kisses or forehead kisses cuz he loves you sm.

kisses with a warning, “may i kiss you?” everytime he wants to. he’s a gentle man okay!?

daily forehead kisses from him <333

would have you sitting on his lap while yall make out 0_0

his arms or hand will always be on your waist no matter what.

insecure? of your face? your tummy?? don’t you worry dear, capitano is here to kiss it better <3

would kiss your insecurities away while sweet talking to you.

childe

PDA

no shame at all T-T in front of the other harbingers? yeah, definitely would kiss you out of no where to piss everyone off.

make out sessions 3x a day just like a meal fr (HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY)

love love love loves to hugs you so tight while you kiss.

he admires capitano so just like him, he loves having you on his lap while making out too, with his hand on your waist.

bites your lower lip whenever he gets cheeky.

sleepy kisses on the neck/chest whenever you cuddle and he’s the little spoon and forehead/head kisses whenever he’s the big spoon <3

just loves kissing you everywhere and anywhere in general tbh.

al haitham

unlike childe, he likes to keep it lowkey.

holding hands under the table while the two of you study together, stealing kisses whenever no one’s looking.

but his personal favorite is kissing you at the library behind the big bookshelves whenever the two of you are alone.

holding you on the neck softly while he pecks your lips several times with a small smile on his face.

whenever he gets jealous of your mates, he would simply just steal you away from them and take you somewhere the two of you could be alone and just… make out.

kaveh isn’t new to catching the two of you in act, in fact he’s caught the two of you more than he could count by his fingers. and he’s tired of it T-T bro feels very single.

the first time was when you and al haitham are left in a classroom and your arms were wrapped around his neck and his around your waist.

“what the… fuck did i just walk in to??”

THIS TOOK SOSOSOSOSOSOSO LONG IM SO SORRY T-T BUT NOW I HAVE OVER 80+ FOLLOWERS OMGG THANKYOUGUYS SM I LOVELOVELOVELOVEYOU ALL ISTG anyways this took too long but i rushed it T-T im sorry nonny </3 pls send more requests so i could busy myself because were having a week long break <33

MASTERLIST

[curtsycream]

I saw that u write for kiribakudeku x reader and I have a idea

Cg kiribakudeku x little reader in a young headspace where she uses paci and loves her paci bc it makes her happy so when she sees one of her cgs sad she crawls in their lap and put her paci on their mouth and when another cg ask why she does it and she is like "mwakes me happwy so daddy happwy" and there are like "it's very sweet of you but its ur paci and daddy dont uses pacis" 💕💕💕💗💗😻🥺💖

What Makes Them Happy

KiriBakuDeku x Little!Reader

Tried to be fair and focus more on Deku and Kiri since I know the last one was Baku centric. I’m trying to even out the dynamic since I’m working with three very different personalities. Hope you like it though <333

If there was one thing she kept closer than her boyfriends it was her pacifier. Anytime she get anxious, alone, or worried she would simply pace it in her mouth. Having it nearby always made her happy but what made her happier was sharing it with her caregivers.

Tuesdays were always slow due to Kirishima being free and not having hero work to do. It just so happened that today was a slow and sad day for Kirishima as he sat on their shared bed with his head in his hands. That was until she made her way into the room her pacifier hanging out of the side of her mouth as she grins.

Upon seeing Kirishima’s upset form she frowns making her way onto the bed and then into his lap. Even in her headspace she showed she cared as she pressed kisses to the backs of his hands.

Kirishima noticed her attempts as he removed his hands from his face with a half smile. That didn’t seem to appease her as she pressed her pacifier to his lips. “Gon be okay, promise,” she said.

Kirishima let out a laugh as he opens his mouth the speak just as she puts the pacifier in his mouth. His eyes bright with amusement as he removes it from his mouth, “thank you, Princess. But I’m fine I don’t need your paci..it’s for you.”

When he tries to give it back she shakes her head, “don’t be sad.”

His eyebrows furrowed as his look softened, “you’re too good for me.”

She shakes her head putting her pacifier in her own mouth.

“You can’t deny the truth, that’s not how it works,” he chuckled at her antics. Though he couldn’t be upset anymore as the attempt left him unable to think much about why he was upset to begin with.

Later that night when Izuku was giving her a bath she still had her pacifier in her mouth. Her attention on her bath toys when she heard him hiss in pain. Looking up she frowned noticing he slammed his finger in one of the sink drawers.

She watched his face morph into a look of pain as she took her pacifier out of her mouth. She held it out to him, “here!” She called out grabbing his attention as he smiled.

“I’m okay baby, I’m fine…I promise!”

His reassurance only made her shrug as she put it back into her mouth. Her attention back on her rubber duck as she glances at him from time to time. Izuku caught on to her look a she smiled, “why do you do that? Try and give us your paci?” He asked the question that had been on his mind for months now.

“Makes me happy…wanna make you happy too, daddy.”

“You’re so sweet pretty baby, but daddies don’t need pacis. Daddies have pretty babies like you for that.”

Deep down they all felt that way, no matter how sad or angry they were. She always made them happy, she’s what makes them happy.

[littlemissthunderstorms]

gorgeous

alex turner x fem reader

i don’t really know how to summarize it, so just read and find out!! it’ll be a fun little surprise! (also i quoted a line from better than the movies in here, i just finished that book and i LOVED it so dearly)

i couldn’t choose just one song 😣

late afternoon was dull. rain poured outside and the sky was grey, adding to the melancholy of the day. as you sit on the couch next to your best friend alex, you couldn’t help but stare at the rain pattering against the window, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. you had just recently broken up with your boyfriend, you realized he wasn’t the one and it made you sad. it was easy to let your thoughts spiral, you wondered if you’d ever find your person, if anyone would ever love you that much. could you be loved? you didn’t want to be lonely forever and then become an old lady living alone with her fifty cats in an old apartment. would you die alone? oh my god and then who would even take care of the cats? would anyone even know you died? what if- “ahem.” you jumped slightly, raising your eyebrows at alex who was looking at you with a funny expression, accompanied by a head tilt.

“soo movie or no?” alex chuckled. “you ruined my train of thought.” you smiled as you kicked him playfully. alex had always been your best friend, you had always been there for eachother and this was no different. he’d been hanging out at your house practically the second your boyfriend had moved out and you didn’t mind at all. alex laughed softly, brown eyes not leaving yours. as you gazed at the boy, your smile faded into a frown, your earlier thoughts returning to haunt you. alex noticed this, furrowing his brows. “you alright?” you hadn’t really allowed yourself to overthink too much since your boyfriend left, and now that you had really thought about being alone, it destroyed you. anxiety plagued you, filling you only with distress and thoughts of loneliness.

“i dunno.” you shifted your gaze to your lap, fiddling with your rings. “you wanna talk about it?” alex shuffled closer to you on the couch. you shrugged, eyes still fixated on your lap, averting his gaze. “is it about him?” you noticed how close alex was, causing your heart to race a little faster. “um- no.” you paused. “well, yes, related. i mean, it’s not exactly about him, like the fact that i miss him or anything. which i dont. not really. that seems kinda mean, but it’s true.”

you looked up at alex nervously to find him looking back at you, silently urging you to continue talking. “its just- i’m nervous i’ll never find anyone. sounds fucking stupid now that i’m saying it aloud but um..” you gulped nervously. alex eyes were soft and caring and the effect he had on you right now was concerning. nevertheless, you continued.“i’m scared to be alone forever, i just want to love someone and be loved. and i’m so scared thats not going to happen and i’m scared nobody will ever find me pretty enough to love me. i dont know.” you weren’t even thinking now, the storm of anxiety that occupied your mind now letting loose. “i’m just nervous i guess. i dunno, its silly.” you sighed “maybe i’m just overthinking.”

you kept your gaze on your lap as you finished your rant, too flustered to look at alex. he was close. really close. why was your stomach all swirly? the thunder outside filled the silence for a few moments. alex grabbed your hand, causing you to meet his eyes. “hey. don’t think like that. you’re gorgeous.” the way alex was talking to you, the way he was looking at you, soft brown eyes shimmering in the candlelight, all smiley and sweet. it was getting hard to breathe. you were so distracted by him that you forgot to respond. “thank you.” you muttered pathetically, making him chuckle softly, hand not leaving yours. the house was quiet besides the muffled sound of thunder and rain from the nasty storm outside that was getting more intense by the minute. candles and lamps emitted a soft glow throughout the room, casting faint shadows on the walls.

the way he was looking at you made your heart flutter. your eyes darted down to his lips for a split second before quickly looking back up at his eyes. shit. don’t look at his lips don’t look at his lips. the tension was so thick you were sure lightning was bound to strike between you two any second. the house was too quiet. was he getting closer? you nervously broke eye contact for a split second, your stomach fluttering as you looked back at him. he didn’t move, eyes still locked on yours. your face heated. “um- so what movie did you wanna wat-“you didn’t even finish your sentence before his lips were all over yours, nose pressed into your cheek and hand cupping your face. he kissed you like it was his job and he wanted a raise. you eagerly kissed him back, squeezing his hand tightly as you brought your other hand up to rest on his shoulder. he leaned over you, gently pressing you against the arm of the couch as he kissed the shit out of you. you brought your free hand to grab ahold of his hair, deepening the kiss which elicited a sigh out of him.

the intensity of the kiss increased as a strike of lightning illuminated the sky for a few moments, a loud boom of thunder following, rumbling the ground. you pushed your hand up his shirt, his skin warm. his tongue slid across yours. his hands were in your hair. your leg was wrapped around his waist as the kiss deepened, teeth colliding and soft sighs filling the air. another rumble of thunder shook the ground and just like that, the lights were out. you broke the kiss, the two of you gasping for air. the room was dark, almost pitch black.

and if it weren’t for the soft light of the streetlamps, the glow of the candle in the other room, or the incandescent moonlight, you might’ve not been able to see alex smiling down at you.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

hope this made you giggle and kick your feet, goodnight!

ps. this is like my third time writing anything ever so if it’s bad don’t come for me

[kookblurx]

1920 - jjk [ chpt 6. ]

→ SUMMARY: a photo of a beautiful smiling boy; an old tree in your grandparents garden ... and a feeling of sadness. all those things are connected to each other ...

→ GENRE: time travel au; changing fate au; rencarnation au; university au; death; sickness; historical setting; trigger topics; smut; dirty talk; switching between present and the past.

→ chapt. 5 / chapt. 7

→ RATING: 18+

→ NOTE: HUGE DISCLAIMER, this story plays in a fantasy setting. the world YN lives in doesnt exist, neither jungkooks. so please dont mention anything just because its not historically correct. this is piece of art. so yes, jungkook wears armor like a knight and no there are no guns in his time period. thanks.

JUNGKOOK MASTERLIST ♡.°₊ˎ PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER

The Present

a grunt escaped your lips as the sun peeked through the half open yellow curtains. squinting one of your eyes, sun only became more brightly with each second. a bit clumsy you tried to reach the digital clock on the top of your nightstand. while doing so your phone got knocked on the ground, for the time being this wasnt something which bothered you. another grunt left your lips as the clock showed 8am in the morning, it was still too early to be awake. the events from last night werent present in your mind as you climbed up onto your bed. surrounded by your fluffy blanket, you cuddled deeper into the mattress. as soon as your eyes finally gave in to your tired body something shifted beside you. you didnt even had the time to turn your body around as someone grabbed your right wrist. with a strong pull, your body was turned onto your bed. automatically your eyes widened as you looked into the face of a young man who was hovering over your body. still sleepy you couldnt tell who this man was and how he got into your room.

"its really bold of you to sneak into the bed of a man like this"

his voice was husky as the corner of his lips curled up into a small smile. you heard that voice before, that soft voice. the back of your neck grew hotter as your eyes try to make sense out of this situation. slowly they travelled down on the man's body, as they reached his abdomen and you finally saw the bandages, everything clicked. last night came back into your mind as you looked back into his face. there it was, the cut on his cheek.

"I-I didnt mean to ... wait this is actually my-!"

jungkook still had his smirk on his face as he moved closer to you. one of his hands cupped your cheek before he rubbed with his thumb over your ear a bit. right now you could die out of embarrassement. the back of your neck grew hotter with each inch he came closer to you. by now you were even able to feel his breath on your skin.

"Ugh ..." escaped from your lips as your whole body twitched.

no guy ever touched you like this, at least not on your ears. while you were wiggling underneath him, jungkook clearly enjoyed the few. his thumb travelled down from your ear to your neck.

"You are really cute ... i should thank you properly for saving me yesterday" so he knew who you were, he wasnt playing around.

you were to embarrassed to even move or pushing him away. with every inch he moved closer your whole face heated up more. you surely must look like a tomato right now. before his lips could touch yours the phone on the ground suddenly started ringing. that was the moment when you regained your senses back. with a strong push you managed to get rid of jungkooks body as he fell to your right side onto the bed. but before you were able to grab your phone from the ground, Kook grabbed your wrist again. this time he pushed you behind his back as he had one of your scissors in his hand.

"Stay back Y/N! Whatever this thing is .. i wont let it harm you!" you couldnt see his face but he sounded serious.

of course he would be worried .. jungkook never saw a smartphone before, let alone ever heard of one. with a soft chuckle you placed your hand onto his wrist before you slowly remove the scissors.

"dont worry, it wont harm me ... or you. See?" as you moved over to the edge of the bed you took the phone into your hands.

jungkook widened his eyes as you were pressing something. as you finally held it to your ear he came closer. of course on the other line was none other than jimin:

"hey jimin, what is it?" "hey ... i just wanted to check if .. last night was a dream or if hes still with you?" "well, i wish it would had been a dream but he's here and healthy as it seems ..." ".... can i come over?" "sure. you will be more of a help than i am ... you know more about his family and stuff. might be helpful" "got it. see you later"

after you hung up jungkook still looked at you like you were some kind of alien. unfortunately you didnt had the time to explain to him what that phone was. it was probably better for him if you were planning to send him back. who knows what such knowledge would cause in the past.

putting the phone away on the nightstand you finally was faced with a bigger challenge: how on earth should you hide him from your grandparents.

"is ... everything okay?" jungkook sounded worried as he moved closer to you, to the edge of the bed.

it was really suprising how he wasnt confused about this new place. suddenly you remembered that he lived here, in this same mansion. maybe this place wasnt too strange to him.

"let me ask you something ... do you know where we are?" your head turned into his direction.

"... hm ... i would say we are in my mansion ... i looked out the window earlier and saw the tree but ... " for a moment his eyes looked around your room "i guess ... im not really home?"

it nearly broke your heard because of his last sentence. thats right, he was home but at the same time he wasnt. with a sigh you stood up from your bed and walked over to the closet. luckily your grandpa stored some of his "old clothes" in your closet, so you wouldnt need to steal from him. hopeful that they would fit Jungkook you chose a pair of jeans and a basic black Tshirt. of course he was wary of the pants and the shirt. jungkook was a knight and only wore linen clothes. with your help he managed to change his clothes without opening his wound again. even helping him to get dressed was embarrassing because of the stuff that happened earlier.

you couldnt ignore how well build his body was and how his biceps flexed while putting on the shirt. but that wasnt enough. the pants fitted just fine, the shirt on the other hand was too small and flattered his tiny waist too well. gulping you rushed over to the door, making sure that your grandparents werent near. in the meantime you scolded yourself for acting like a damn teenager in front of a grown ass man. yes, he was good looking but that wasnt a reason to crush on him like this.

"w-wait here for a moment okay?"

after jungkook nodded you slipped out of your room and down the stairs. the foyer was empty so you made your way into the kitchen. no one there, good. after checking the big garage you finally came to the conclusion that your grandparents must be away at the moment. with fast steps you ran back into your room, ordering jungkook to follow you down into the library. even if they would came back, that was your space. while you were here they would never disturb you by walking in.

Inside the Library:

"woah ... this is huge! ... but wait, normally it shouldnt have this much of books" jungkook walked around the various shelves as he raised an eyebrow. "can you ... maybe tell me what is going on here?"

you this question would come up sooner or later but you would have preferred it when Jimin was here. with another sigh you sat onto the ground were some of the papers were still scattered around you. slowly you picked one of them up. it showed his photo, all smiling. it was this damn photo which ruined everything. you just wanted to jump to the moment were this photo was taken. instead you ended up on a battlefield. curious jungkook sat down beside you and snatched the paper out of your hand.

"hey! wait!" you wanted to get it back but to no avail.

jungkook's face grew serious as he studied the paper "... those are ... informations about me. where do you got all these?"

"thats ... okay listen. this might be crazy but i brought you here .. this isnt 1920 ... you are in my timeline and ...here you are already ..-"

"dead."

the word sounded so bitter that it gave you a sting inside of your heart. at the same time you prayed that this revelation wouldnt change something drastically in his timeline. before you could reach out your hand, something got thrown against the balcony window. this must be jimin. leaving jungkook with the papers you ran over to the window to open it. outside you helped Jimin climb up again but as he managed to stand on solid ground again, he didnt walk inside. instead he grabbed your arm, looking at jungkook who was still reading through the various papers

"its really him huh? fuck ... i dont know how you managed that but i think we are in big trouble ..."

"you dont need to tell me that ... im already trying to find a way to bring him back as soon as possible .. but for now its good you are here" slowly you pushed jimin inside before closing the doors.

"huh? why? you mentioned something similiar over the phone earlier"

"its ... Park Jimin is you ancestor and he was Jungkook's best friend. you two look really alike and share the same name ..."

"ah i see .. you want to give him some comfort huh?"

you nodded as you watched how jimin walked over to the confused looking jungkook. as he tapped him on the shoulder a jolt went through jungkook's body. to your suprise he immediately hugged Jimin. expecting that jimin would refuse that hug you were more suprised as he hugged kook back. the scene in front of you was really sweet but at the same time your mind drifted back to earlier as kook ran his fingers down your neck. your cheeks began to burn again as you shaked your head. this wasnt the time to think about such things.

the moment you sat back down next to the guys, jimin already explained to jungkook that he isnt really the jimin he was looking for. somehow jungkook seemed to understand this much.

"so ... that must mean jimin found a nice girl and had a family with her huh?" a smile spread across jungkook's face

"uh yeah you could say that" jimin on the other hand rubbed over his neck, slightly nervous.

"what about me? are there any ...great grandkids or something from me? do i find a wife for myself!"

jungkook seemed so excited as he looked at the both of you. at the same time jimin and you could only look at each other. the fact that jungkook's family tree ended with him, made your heart feel heavy. you didnt want to tell him the truth. that he needed to die without every finding love.

"jungkook listen you-"

as jimin started to speak he suddenly froze mid sentence. confused you waved with one hand in front of his face but there was no reaction at all. this could only mean one thing. the fairy was back. suprisingly jungkook wasnt frozen and looked as confused as you.

a book got knocked from the shelve as the fairy revealed herself. her blonde hair was messy and strands of it fell into her face. quickly you stood up just to take her into your hands

"oh god what happened ... you look horrible"

"we ... we have a big problem ... HUGE PROBLEM .... " the fairy was completely out of breath.

jungkook also finally stood up from his place and walked closer to the two of you "what happened?" compared to your shaky voice, his was more serious.

slowly the fairy finally lifted her face "we are doomed .."

"what do you mean! talk to me finally!" carefully you shaked the fairy in your hands a bit

"its .. its jimin"

Taglist:

@junecat18 @hellbornsworld @stupendouscookiehumanmug

[writersarchivex]

Just The Costume Designer: E.P

Elvis x Reader

Summary: You've been Elvis' designer for years, finally you got to do something useful

word count: 2k

theres a part two! click here loves <3

not that proud of this one, but eh. you can imagine austin!elvis or the real thing. whatever floats your boat.

enjoy, or dont its up to you my loves.

You were sat at your desk, going over some papers when you got the call. You had a meeting in ten minutes with Elvis, and his people. You had worked for Presley Enterprises for five years. You were Elvis' personal costume designer. Sometimes, at the beginning of your time working there, you found yourself doubling as his assistant.

Since he's been doing more movies than shows though, you were needed a lot less. It was sad, but of course you can always find plenty of ways to pay the bills. You owned the business, working this Elvis put a bit of fame behind your name, just enough to make it big.

You were successful.

You weren't sure why they wanted to meet with you, you didn't design his outfits for the movies he was in.

He was your friend though, so of course you would sit in on the meeting as long as he wanted you there.

Your feelings for Elvis had been placed on the back burner in your mind for years. You liked him.

A lot.

The two of you grew closer over the years. Designing costumes was sort of an intimate thing when you really thought about it. You're in the room alone with a person, hands on their body, just a measuring tape in hand, sometimes they had less than minimal clothes on.

You wrapped up a few more things realizing the meeting quite literally started in a minute.

You pulled EP's file, making your way to the meeting room feeling excited to see him.

Your heels clicked against the floor as you nodded to your employees.

They gave you warm smiles as you walked.

You opened the door, knowing that they would all be in there already. They were busy people, but so were you.

The table was full, leaving a spot for you, right next to Elvis of course.

"EP. Good to see you." You smiled, as you saw him.

He smiled back and stood giving you a quick hug.

"We called this meeting to discuss a design we need for EP. It's for the upcoming Christmas special." Jerry stated, throwing a file over to you.

Your eyebrow's furrowed. You didn't do Christmas specials.

Elvis knew that, they all knew that.

"Well, this looks big, so I believe a congratulations is in order,"

"I'm not sure why I'm needed though. This seems pretty, simple." You said politely.

You hated being so professional. These were your closest friends at one point.

"That's the thing Y/N. We need to make it bigger. We want to bring the real EP back, and we have to make a statement with it. He needs a costume. Something bold. He needs you."

Now this, was interesting.

"Hm, and whose idea was this?" You said looking at all the men that lined the table.

Elvis cleared his throat, leaning against the chair.

"Mine."

Pride swelled through you. You were beyond proud.

"Fucking finally. I'm in."

The men laughed as you stood to walk towards the door,

"Beth clear my schedule for the rest of the week. Give all the high-profile cases to Gemma, only contact me for emergencies."

Your assistant nodded, looking a bit confused.

You opened his file, memories flooding your mind as you did so. He always wore your best work. Nothing you ever designed for him was ever below par.

"Okay. EP and I will take it from here." The men smiled at your direction.

As a designer, you knew that managers had far too much impact on what thier clients wore.

As his friend you knew he was far too quick to give them all the power. This had to be between the two of you.

As the boys exited the room, you were pulling out sketch pads and pencils.

The room was clear, and you were left alone with Elvis.

"I don't know why you wear them old shoes darlin'. They look like the most uncomfortable thing.'

His voice was deep. Raspy. You loved it, then again so did the rest of America.

"Gotta be professional and lady like." You smiled, taking a seat next to him.

You took a look at the file again, if you were gonna bring the old EP back you had to go back to the origin.

"What're you thinking EP. I want this to be up to you. Your choice."

Pencil in hand, you wrote as he spoke passionately.

"I want it to be hard. Like intimidating, but I want it to be me. This is the biggest thing that happened to me in a long time, Y/N. 

You smiled and the thought came to you immediately.

"Leather baby. You want leather."

------

It had been a couple of days since you've seen Elvis. 

Today he was due for his fitting appointment, you took quick measurements the day that they all came in.

His measurements were still pretty much the same. He had filled out a bit over the years, but that was just him becoming a man. 

You had the suit ready, you just prayed you got it right.

This thing was your pride and joy. You swore that part of your soul was literally stitched into this suit.

Damn.

You had just gotten everything together, when Elvis opened the door. This was your personal office, and everyone knew not to come in. You knew he would appreciate the privacy.

"Hey lil' mama. How're we doin' today?" He called out.

You spun on your heels, and you took in the sight of him. He looked gorgeous as always.

The both of you made small talk after you convinced him to not look too hard at the suit as you were helping him try it on.

"God damn this thing is hot."

"Baby it's leather, it's gonna be hot." You laughed.

You were focused on the pants, making sure they reached the proper point at the bottom of his leg, turning him around, you definitely approved of the way his ass looked in the pants.

As he turned back around you came face to face with his bare chest, feeling a blush creep onto your face. 

You could practically feel his smirk. You knew him all too well.

Cocky bastard.

You continued to work, pinning a few things here and there, but you had to admit you did a wonderful job. 

You were nervous now. It was time for him to look.

"Okay, you can look now." You voiced, sharply inhaling as he took a look in the mirror.

He was silent. Like, pen drop silence. 

The silence was deafening.

He was just staring at himself.

"Its,"

"If you don't like it I'll redo it, or make you something else,"

He turned to you and took your face in his hands.

The metal of his rings were surprisingly cool. 

"It's perfect. It's me." He had never been that sincere about the work you had done for him.

"It's so perfect mama, I could just," 

His eyes darted to your lips, and before you knew it his lips were on yours.

This was pure heaven.

The kiss was everything you've ever wanted, and more. He was everything you wanted.

You loved him.

You loved him.

"Kiss you." He said as he pulled away.

You were a mess, cheeks read as a cherry and at a loss for words.

He let out a light laugh at your state, turning to look in the mirror again.

----

You had seen Elvis more often during the time leading up to the Christmas special. He wanted you around, wherever he went you went.

The two of you spent every moment together.

The two of you were basically a couple, but of course not officially one.

After the recent tragedies, you and Elvis were sitting with some of his guys, and they were writing a song.

A very beautiful song, nothing like you had ever heard before.

He was laying on the floor, looking at the lyrics in front of him. You could tell he was sad. The excitement he had felt before, was gone.

Of course it was, something terrible happened. 

The day of the shooting, you had made sure everyone at your company was safe, and you gave them the next day off with pay. No one should have to suffer more than they already have.

As they wrapped up, the boys left you and Elvis in the room alone. His eyes were still fixated on the paper.

"The Colonel ain't gonna be happy 'bout this one darlin." He said placing the paper on his stomach and turning to you.

You smiled at him. 

Now obviously you had a lot of words for and about the Colonel. He was a slimy old man.

You knew he needed something from you, reassurance maybe?

"Baby I don't think it matters what the Colonel thinks this time. It's about you, and the message you want to send. Not just to your fans, but to everyone. Lisa. Your daddy. The world." You stated, looking him in the eye the entire time.

He nodded and moved his head to stare at the ceiling. He took hold of your hand. 

"You're right darlin. Always are."

-----

Tonight was the night. Elvis had performed his songs beautifully, and it was time for the  number. 

You were sat, with the rest of the producers, as Tom Parker hobbled his way into the glass room

"Hey! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

You rolled your eyes, heart still pounding in your chest.

The camera turned to the giant backdrop. It was simple, but it still made a statement. 

There he was.

Dressed in white, a suit you of course picked and tailored for him, his song started.

It was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard.

You could practically feel the passion radiating off of him, everyone else could as well.

The men in the room were in awe. Even the Colonel had shut his fat mouth, for a change.

If I can Dream

By the time the song ended, you were standing. Your eyes bore into the man who was sweating and out of breath.

"He did it." You smiled, earning quite the nasty look from Tom.

You waited for a while in Elvis' dressing room, still feeling dazed from his performance. Soon the door opened, and you excitedly jumped into his arms. 

He was sweaty and gross, but you didn't care.

"You did so amazin' honey" 

He held your lower back and smiled at you. 

"Couldn't have done it without you mama."

The little bit of praise received a blush from you. All you could is stare. 

He was so powerful. Everything about him completely amazed you. His confidence, his voice, his passion.

"I love you." 

There it was. 

The words had come spilling out of you like a waterfall, there was no stopping it.

He pulled away slowly, causing dread to spread throughout your whole body.

"What'd you just say to me?" He questioned, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. 

You couldn't help but look at the floor. 

You felt nothing but shame.

"I'm sorry." 

That was all you could muster up. It took everything in you to barely mutter those simple words

"Why would you love me?" He questioned, causing your head to shoot up.

What? Is he blind?

"Elvis Presley. You aren't too quick sometimes,"

"I've loved you forever. From the beginning."

He took a seat. 

This was incredibly awkward, and not how you had wanted it to happen.

Christ, the two of you weren't even together. 

You had never been officially together. 

"You are the most incredible, talented, and caring man I have ever met." 

You put it simply, because to be frank, you could go on for hours. 

"Hm." 

"I think it would be best if I left." You sighed, not wanting to get hurt.

His silence in the moment was enough for you to walk past, grabbing your bag on the way.

Just as you had taken a step past him, he grabbed your wrist.

"You know darlin' I've made a lot of mistakes."

You sighed, not really wanting to hear it, but you decided to stay anyway.

"Not askin' you to be my girl when we met was probably the biggest."

Now that was a bit of a stretch, you figured that the Colonel was his biggest mistake, but you chose to ignore that.

"Really EP?"

He nodded, pulling you to sit with him.

The two of you were sat incredibly close. Not leaving much space in between.

"I want you to be mine baby."

His words were deep, and husky.

"Then I'm yours." 

That was all it took for him to grab your chin and pull you in for a kiss.

Nothing about this kiss was innocent. Unlike your first one, you could feel the tension between the two of you. 

A few moments passed, and he pulled away.

"I love you too mama."

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,