#dont want to get too sappy!!!

[skitskatdacat63]

In true tradition, here are my thoughts on my drawings, because it was in fact: 7 AM

Okay so Fernando I is, as stated, super ostentatious. Why? Because it fits him but also because it's based on the real life guy. In all the paintings I could find of Philip V, in most of them he is wearing at least some kind of armor, and if not, is dressed pretty dramatically imo. And I will not be drawing a full set of armor, but it felt a bit weird to leave it our entirely so. Also historically I do think it's so interesting he was portrayed this way, since he was described as someone who was "only interested in outward decorum and brave only in battle."(again: how fernando coded hahaha)

See! Super dramatic! Also I made this meme that is only comprehensible to me

Seriously, why is he pointing in half of his paintings???? I couldn't find a concrete answer so I will give my personal analysis 😤 I like to think that it's symbolism for how he's always moving forward, like "here's will I go will go next!" ....or the artists just couldn't figure out what to do with his hands, I feel the struggle.

Oh also important to note!! His heels!! I am obsessed with this fashion detail from the time:

Nandopoleon is super important to me, it's why @sweatyflytrap and I became friends in the first place 🥺🥺🥺 so it felt very surreal to draw him because I've been thinking about him for a while. I want to make an actual web weave with quotes lined up with Fernando's career, or stuff comparing their personalities. Or draw him recreating one of the iconic paintings(probably the one with Napeoleon crowning himself emperor, I think it's fitting.) But to draw him in that classic pose, im very happy :)

And as I said already, Hussars are very fun to draw because it is such a general AU. The joy of it is more about figuring out how to incorporate the details of the real life racesuits to the uniform. If I didn't only primarily love to draw Fernando and Seb, i would be like "request a driver for the Hussar AU!" But I don't know how well that would go 😭

Anyways end of post. I think the reason why I've been feeling a lot more creatively driven and passionate is because it's a lot easier to draw so much when you know other people will be interested/want to discuss it with you! I used to have a friend that I would talk a lot about my OCs with, and guess what, back then I drew a lot more of them than I do now. It's not that I need outside validation to draw, I draw plenty for myself, but more that it makes me feel more happy about it, because I know that I'll get to talk about it with other people and see other people's thoughts, rather than just me being the sole participant. As you guys know, I like to talk. A lot. So it's very nice for it not all to be in my head(I am crazy) 😭😭 So thank you to everyone for your continued interest <3 you sustain me 🥺🥺

[bluetorchsky]

Birthday Thoughts

I just ramble about stuff since it's my birthday today. I'll put it under a read more but like, TL;DR: I want to keep growing and keep finding the bits and pieces of who I am, keep loving the person that I am, and be kinder to the person (me) who does and tries their best no matter what.

*blows party maker* Happy Birthday to me! I'm gonna be spending the day by myself, just going out and doing stuff. But it's gonna be a good one, I know it.

Another day, another year where my age ticks up another number. It's been one hell of a year since my last birthday and just, a lot of stuff has happened. Usually stuff happens but like...it definitely felt a lot more than usual. I just felt a lot of stuff, I did a lot of stuff in regards to work and school, even if I didn't finish school.

I don't really see myself going back to college or university at this point, just to take a course that might get me in a career that's not needed anymore. It's also been really stressful, and I think I'm just not ready to be back there. Which is totally fine, I need a break from it. Sometimes I do feel bad for not completing any of the courses in Animation, but it just didn't really click with me at all. The technically stuff stumped me, but doing character designs and what not (except layout) is what I liked doing better.

Still, I'm not about to throw more money just to take another course. At this point, I just want to take it day by day and try and enjoy the time I have. Even when I'm dealing with customers almost every day, I'm at least in a department where I don't always have to do that, heh.

I would love to learn more skills in art, but I also want to get back to writing. The last fic I did "You Are Here (You Are Love)", I really felt proud writing it. I want to do more, I want to be able to write stories and create images in the minds of the readers, that at some point they will feel like they are there, even for just one second. It's ambitious, but it really just comes down to wanting to improve on my writing.

Another day, another year where I turn a year older and feel like it's any other day in my life. But at least I know that I have changed in some ways, that I have improved in some aspects of my life, that there are people who do look to me not just for help but because I'm their friends, and even though I try to be more than myself, I love the person who I am now. I love that I am still learning more about myself. I love that I can find a piece of me either in my family or friends.

I know there are days when I put myself under so much pressure and stress, that I'm never kind to myself if something goes wrong or what I say doesn't happen. I am only human, I can only do what I can do that is in my control. So I'll keep being who I am and continue finding out who I am.

I think I've yapped a bit too much, haha. So much I want to say, but I can't always say all of it. I do want to say thank you to those who speak and interact with me as mutuals or as friends. You guys really do mean a lot to me, and I know I would not have been able to do what I do without y'all there with your support. You all really mean a lot to me, I love ya guys.

[chiprewington]

i'm in my "i want to hold him" phase

[scalproie]

my extremely corny and indulgent but satisfying and symbolic ideal scenario for Kazuya and Jin to fully Break The Cycle™️ would be for one of them to grab and save the other from falling off a great height. perhaps even a cliff.

[cubesugarss]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY

[angelgendered]

[bmpmp3]

the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

[arsenicflame]

i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.

[talkfastcal]

update i talked about the mutuals in therapy again tonight

[woolydemon]

i am soooo good at getting emotional over children's media but not in a fandom way in like a. oh god i care about people so much way

[doodlebloo]

...

IK a lot of people are like "my interest in dsmp was kind of gone anyway" I'm the opposite. I'm still just as in love with this story as I was in October 2020. I'm still just as excited when Tommy or Ranboo or Tubbo goes live. I'm still just as thrilled when a mutual posts new art or writing as I was two years ago. My interest really hasn't gone down at all and I had so much more I wanted to create.

[kohakhearts]

last day of work for this semester and one of my students (keep in mind this is an two-month-long once-a-week weekend program lol) gave me a gift with a little tag that says “to taylor <3 the best teacher” and its very cute… completely blindsided me bc this kid hadn’t given any indication she Liked me (usually its not hard to tell but i guess its easier when you see them every day vs once a week) but it made my day. ik the 11-14 age range can be brutal for many but god they can be so sweet too

[todayisafridaynight]

@ father time can we run it back to june so i can make a joke really quick

[pankomako]

sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.

speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2

anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)

[junkie-virus]

AAAAAA I LOVE FANFICTION !!!! I LOVE MUSIC !!!!! I LOVE FAN ART !!!!! I LOVE CREATION !!!!!!! I LOVE LIFE !!!!!

[g-ghostic-basil]

The void urge to give in to my impulses and go full autumn boy theme, despite me also liking my current theme, color choice, and lacking the energy and motivate to edit new headers/dividers/etc </3