#dracula true facts

[baronessmeinster]

Finished watching Todd In The Shadows video fact checking James Somerton's wildly incorrect claims. At the beginning my partner warned me there was some Dracula fuckery ahead but THE thing that had me yelling at the TV was James confidently stating the Gary Oldman was the first actor to make Dracula fuckable.

HOW is it even POSSIBLE to look directly into a camera and be so deeply wrong? How?

Christopher Lee did not have his ENTIRE scene with Melissa Stribling cut out of the final film due to Too Much Sexiness just to have such lies spoken. Bela Lugosi is currently rolling (sexily) in his grave at this! I was so stunned I forgot Frank Langella even existed for a moment but yeah him too with his slutty open shirt look.

[a-ninja-magpie]

Just so you know, Lestat is definitely laying in a coffin somewhere listening to Jonathan Harker’s “holiest love” speech in Re: Dracula and ugly crying.

[harbingerofsoup]

dracula is defeated by 1) autism, 2) true love, and 3) incredible violence, and the fact that this isn’t the mainstream understanding of dracula in pop culture is a fucking travesty

[vickyvicarious]

I found that my landlord had got a letter from the Count, directing him to secure the best place on the coach for me; but on making inquiries as to details he seemed somewhat reticent, and pretended that he could not understand my German. This could not be true, because up to then he had understood it perfectly; at least, he answered my questions exactly as if he did. He and his wife, the old lady who had received me, looked at each other in a frightened sort of way. He mumbled out that the money had been sent in a letter, and that was all he knew. When I asked him if he knew Count Dracula, and could tell me anything of his castle, both he and his wife crossed themselves, and, saying that they knew nothing at all, simply refused to speak further.

Okay, since I'm on the lookout for documents this time around, this scene is kind of making me wonder what exactly Dracula's letter to the innkeepers actually said. Because it's when Jonathan starts asking for details that the man starts pretending he can't speak German anymore. And the two of them look at one another in fear before he insists that he doesn't know anything but that the money is in the letter. Similarly, it's when Jonathan asks about Dracula and the castle, that they cross themselves and just stop talking entirely.

It seems clear that the locals are hesitant to outright tell Jonathan what they think of Dracula, in a way that has me thinking there is some kind of longstanding understanding that warning anyone/speaking too openly is a recipe for reprisal. Everyone knows Dracula is a vampire but if they talk about it he'll come after them, something like that.

But I wonder now if the letter to the innkeepers was much more explicit about his intentions for Jonathan, or at least much more clearly threatening. I could see him not bothering with any false friendliness with any of the locals. Or even if it's not completely plain, still aggressive. Maybe he tells them that if his guest isn't sent to him on the coach he's booked, then they will have to reimburse him for the cost (an obvious 'you'll pay' threat). Maybe he orders them to tell the traveler no local stories to scare him, because his guest's health and peace of mind is his responsibility. Maybe there are even other details about him expecting Jonathan to reach him with emphasis on tonight that are part of the reason the woman thinks if he delays a few days he will be safer.

The scarier the letter to them is, the braver the innkeeper's wife's actions become. Even if it appears perfectly normal, the mere fact of them receiving direct communication from the Count puts them in his crosshairs, I'm sure. Having Dracula's attention is the opposite of what everyone living here must want. And yet she can't bear not to try and save Jonathan, so she does what she can.

[immediatebreakfast]

I found that my landlord had got a letter from the Count, directing him to secure the best place on the coach for me; but on making inquiries as to details he seemed somewhat reticent, and pretended that he could not understand my German.

The reaction, and following actions of the old romanian couple after learning that the Count placed the responsability of securing Jonathan's travel to the castle on them is a true testament on the horror limbo that these people have been living for god knows how long.

An inmortal, and monstruos man lives inside the countryside in luxury untouched by time itself orders you to secure transportation for this young man, barely an adult in what matters who has traveled so far, to meet what you know will be his death. A being that should be a myth is forcing your hand to guide the son of another mother to an early grave, an end that is waiting for him outside of the walls of your inn.

He and his wife, the old lady who had received me, looked at each other in a frightened sort of way... When I asked him if he knew Count Dracula, and could tell me anything of his castle, both he and his wife crossed themselves, and, saying that they knew nothing at all, simply refused to speak further. 

How many times has this happened? How many young people have dissapeared one day without leaving a single trace while everyone has to force ignorance within their brains less the terror makes them unable to keep going. Worse, even if the young english man, all bright eyed and full of life, says That Name out loud you can't chastice him for such mistake because he simply doesn't know what he is calling, and the only thing that you can do is close your eyes to pray for his soul.

However, sometimes the horror is so overwhelming that another answer comes out, a last ray of hope that could change the course of what seems to be written in stone. A simple hand extending in frightened kindness for a fellow human being.

"Must you go? Oh! young Herr, must you go?"

This old woman, this old lady who has and still lives under the terror of the Count decides to try. She tries, and tries to convince Jonathan to not go, to not leave to walk to the jaws of the beast, or to at least wait for a day or two because everything is pointing to what seems to be the inevitable. Moreover, when her pleads are futile at the end, she still dares to gift Jonathan a rosary, a small protection against that cursed being who laughs at the face of everything that makes her human.

She saw, I suppose, the doubt in my face, for she put the rosary round my neck, and said, "For your mother's sake," and went out of the room.

This old lady not only sees Jonathan the young man who is just starting his life, she sees a mother waiting for any news of her son coming home. She sees a poor woman trying to find anything that could tell her an answer of whenever her son is alive or dead, while being unable to both live and grieve.

The old lady doesn't know if Jonathan will survive his duty. In fact I could pressume how her guilt of knowing that the rosary on itself is still not enough to ward off the Count made her leave the room, but she still tried to hold on the hope that this time, maybe this time, there won't be another young soul buried in the soil.

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Meme: What Is In Store for You in April 2024?

Hello beautiful people. Tonight marks the beginning of a new month, April!!! I am so excited to be delivering a new PAC reading. I will continue to be as consistent as possible. Please book a personal reading with me here! And without further ado, please pick your pile!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):

Pile One: I feel like you’re going through a rebirth, a spiritual purification. You need to purchase some hyssop, Pile One. I feel like you’re going to be looking at life from a different perspective. There’s a decision that you’re going to have to make in order to be content with your life. You have to choose yourself! I also feel like this month you’ll be focused on going outside into the city! You could get invited to some type of festival or a cooking class perhaps. It seems like this month you should be focused on taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone, Pile One. But even with all of this happening, you should keep your eye on the prize. Discipline yourself and keep your head on straight to the narrow path. Don’t get distracted by the bs, Pile One. 

Cards Used: Death, The Fool, Knight of Cups, Judgment, Nine of Cups, Temperance, Queen of Swords, Four of Discs. 

extras: white clothes. chicago. tundra. icicle. party girl. 

Pile Two: After I pulled some cards for this pile, I saw the vision of someone parting a moving mountain, like holding two mountains to avoid being crushed. I see that you have a big heart, Pile Two. You would do something like this for other people. But there’s someone in your life that is taking advantage of that. There is a connection, particularly love, where the efforts you put forth aren’t being reciprocated. It’s time to know your worth, babe. This is especially true if you are in a long distance relationship. I see that you will be meeting someone new who appreciates your energy and is willing to take care of you. But in order for this to work, you need to keep an open mind. This person is a bit eccentric, Pile Two. I also see that if you have been searching for apartments, you will be preparing to move out of your neighborhood by the end of the month. 

Cards Used: King of Wands, Five of Cups, Justice, Two of Wands, The Lovers, 4 of Discs, The Fool, 4 of Cups (RX), Two of Cups (RX), The Emperor, Page of Cups. 

extras: playing cards. heartbreak hotel. dracula. pity. sarcasm. brooklyn. candlelight dinner. mardi gras. 

Pile Three: This pile has been having hangups about a certain situation. Perhaps, you’ve been having dreams about something that occurs in your waking life. These dreams are in fact premonitions. You need to be taking note of them so that you can make the best decision. You may have been drawn to Pile One. I feel like this pile is getting settled in with something, maybe ‘it’ has to grow on you. Don’t let anyone affect your decision making at this time because you are the one that has to live out the effects of it. You could be going off to college, making the decision to move or stay in your hometown, deciding whether or not you need a new car or should just get it repaired. Either way, you need to lean into your intuition. Depend on yourself. I feel like this pile has been listening to the new Beyoncé album heavy. So if you resonate with that then this is definitely your pile. Don’t make a decision that you will regret. Watch your environment closely. 

Cards Used: Temperance, The High Priestess, Knight of Pentacles, Seven of Cups (RX), 8 of Swords, King of Wands, Five of Cups. 

extras: “blinded by tradition.” lilith. yodeling. partition. oracle cards. eye for an eye. watermelon. “my precious.”

Pile Four: Oh, Pile Four. You’ve been working on yourself big time, haven’t you? Because of this, I feel like April will be the month where you receive recognition for your efforts. I feel like this pile participated in Lent or Ramadan, or you’ve just been disciplined and staying out the way. I feel like you will be introduced to a new lover soon that you’ll meet through friends but you’ll be uber cautious of them because you’re used to being by yourself. Lots of people will try to get your attention during this month but I feel like you’ll continue to stack your coins and enjoy your time as a bachelor/ette. There’s many opportunities for you to make money, especially if you’re a young entrepreneur. I see the image of someone scanning through a brochure. So please, do what you have to do to make that money! But don’t let it make you! I also see that you could meet your mentor at some type of conference as well. You really need to network, Pile Four (to my fellow introverts, all will be okay, love).

Cards Used: King of Pentacles, 9 of Cups, The Tower (RX), The Sun, Ten of Cups, Ace of Discs, Nine of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, 3 of Cups, Princess of Cups (RX).

extras: BLT. hummus. pilates. health conscious. “please don’t partake in that.” suburban. office hours. sneak peek.

[mossbone]

The recent Dracula Daily updates are interesting to me. This book is infamous for being about the vampiric Horrors, as defined by their sexual immorality and hedonism; unlike our Heroes who are proper and British and christian. And yet...here we see the horrors being compounded and enabled by the rigid social structures emphasizing morality. And for all Bram Stoker's biases, I think that was intentional.

Firstly, the horror is compounded by the Need for Propriety. Lucy is sleepwalking, in nothing but her nightgown! How awful! So awful it is unthinkable as an option to Mina until she sees undeniable proof Lucy left the house. When that is proven true, "ever growing fear chilling my heart" Mina feels turns to "a vague, overmastering fear obscured all details." She then runs through the streets and finally turns to the cliffs, not fearing like Lucy's mother, to see her in danger of falling of the cliffs, but simply fearing to see her safe in their favorite seat—exposed to all the town.

She in fact sees in shadowy detail, an unidentified man leaning over Lucy. Yet..the whole update is strewn with Mina's massive and unfortunately justified fear for her friend's reputation, maybe more than her safety. Did someone take advantage of Lucy, enact some violence or violation of her while she was sleepwalking? Irrelevant, compared to the question: will anyone see them and assume they were up to some promiscuity? After all, she can't help but be "thinking how the story would become distorted—nay, infallibly would—in case it should leak out." There is the psychological horror on top of the nights events, which were traumatic enough.

An indictment of the present state of late Victorian values and their strict judgments already. But then. The consequence of our young heroines being unable to share their story is that Dracula continues to work unnoticed. He will get more victims, he will continue to grow in power and terrorize Lucy and whomever else he wants. Just like Jonathan being trapped in an increasingly abusive work contract because he feels he must stay to the strict matters of politeness [an imbalance of power that work relationships had then and continue to fucking have], here Lucy and Mina are trapped in very clear physical danger because they cannot share the predator hunting them without surely being accused of being a liar and a whore.

Of course, the loved ones of our protagonists are not of that malicious nature at all. If only they could talk to each other freely, Jonathan and Arthur and Lucy's other suitors would obviously not blame her. And Mina, or likely anyone, would help Jonathan recognize the red flags as what they were. But such close communication is impossible given the heavy expectations of the day.

Social standards were very bad and restrictive in 1897, and I think Bram Stoker consistently criticizes how they are with his novel, even while it serves as a cautionary tale against immorality. The solution to sexual abuse and immorality, in his words, is not punishing people for suffering from them or talking about them. I think he is saying this masterfully, as well, by allowing the audience to feel the visceral fear and helplessness through the perspective of the narrators so closely. Unlike many novels of the time which had people near the protagonist serve as cautionary tales and indictments of society, he forces the reader into those shoes through intimate first person narration.

Anyway. Good chapters, huh. Sadly still relevant.

[freuleinanna]

I'm always fuming at adaptations because they dare insult the original not by adding modern details, but by completely erasing the original message. Like now, when I'm in my Dracula feelings yet again, I keep thinking how the tendency for the UnExPecTEd PLoTtwISts hurt the story. Because it's always the same, always the 'ooh let's fuck it up and make everything exactly the opposite hehe'

Van Helsing? No, not an old doctor who's exploring the possibilities he himself doubts because he must, because it's his duty. Make him a sexyman doing backflips and hunting vamps since he was in a crib

Lucy Westenra? Yawn on the sweet innocent girl fallen to tragedy. Let's fucking hammer that voluptuousness into her, why not? She got what was coming to her

Mina Harker? Who even wants to see good, loving women caring for her friends and husband with all her heart, even when literally damned. That's so 19 century. She's obviously hot for Drac and is, in fact, his reincarnated love

Jonathan Harker? What do you mean he used to have character?

QUINCEY MORRIS WHO THE F-

And on it goes. By turning the story inside out they ruin any message, and speck of true light. That's partially why I'm so into Dracula Daily and now Re: Dracula too, because they prove just how equally entertaining the original can be. You don't have to reverse the characters for the shock effect. The story shocks you with emotions and is doing it all by itself.

[mynqzo]

Hey heard you like vampires what are your thoughts on Twilight

it gets an unprecedented amount of hate mostly for being a show with an audience of young women and girls (so therefore people think oh girls like this so ew). its also undeniable that twilight very much shows the progression of how vampires are depicted in media and is an important facet in the history of vampire mythology especially in books/movies. it being a romance movie with cliche and maybe cringe scenes doesn't take away people's right to enjoy it and by extent its version of vampires (id argue that twilight vampires are just a spiritual successor to vampires like lestate or 'romantic vamps' in general)

with that being said, it is the straightest and most mormon vampire depiction which therefore makes it less enjoyable for me! vampires, historically, existed to represent minorities and people who were considered outcasts to 'normal' society and were first and foremost used as caricatures for racist, lgbtq-phobic and sexist stereotypes, so i feel like their reclamation by queers, poc and minorities in general is the only good way to depict them. bram stoker's dracula represented the english man's fear of jewish immigrants (and immigrants in general, the visual description of dracula in that book plays into popular caricatures of jews during those times), eastern europeans, and queer people (dracula and jonathan yada yada as well as the wives of dracula initiating a saucy moment with jonathan which was a man' job because the man was the pursuer and the woman was pursued, but the roles were reversed. also, i don't think i need to tell you how fangs, blood and the extension of dracula through his wives were used as a gay metaphor). and carmilla by sheridan le fanu, depicting the imagery of a predatory lesbian hunting for innocent upper-class women. during these times vampires were not yet characters with complex personalities and values, but folklore monsters in a way, a way to show an enemy and defeat it rather than learn to understand them, which was a product of its time.

fast forward to the vampire chronicles and especially interview with the vampire by anne rice, vampires became complex people, who's oddities were considered alluring, beautiful, queer and unabashedly proud of it. descriptions of androgynous men, womens love of each other, several nods to gay culture throughout the books with the characters themselves having more to them than just being monsters (with that being said there are several critiques of an interview with the vampire, esp the original book, it is by no means the creme de la creme of queer rep in vampire literature!)

so, circling back, twilight vampires were in themselves like that, kind of. edward wasn't exactly the most macho man as was popular to faun over in media, he was, kind of, more androgenous and sensitive and a character with complex values and thoughts - but that doesn't take away from the fact that the book is lacking a lot of soul and seemingly doesn't show the true reasons why vampires became so popular (amongst young queers especially who found themselves relating to this sense of otherness because of who they were. it is a very sanitized version of a vampire romance, which doesn't mean its bad or that people shouldn't like it! but i'm just saying.

huff

[genshin-impacted]

Exchange of Rings

(Alhaitham x Reader - 6/?) 

You meet the Sumeru crew. Everyone assumes Alhaitham is in love with you. (They're not that off.) OR shampoo + congratulations + fiancé

Word Count: ~5.0k

Notes: afab!reader, second person pov “you”, gn!reader, switches pov with Alhaitham, modern au, arranged marriage, fall first/fall harder, slow burn, ft. everyone in Sumeru (except Nahida) and Cyno's dad jokes

[Previous - Next]

.

.

.

When you got engaged to Alhaitham, you shared the news with your immediate family and closest friends. It makes sense on your part because you hold your loved ones close to your heart, and they had a role in your decision to try an arranged marriage. On Alhaitham's side, his parents and grandmother know– and that's about everyone who does.

It has nothing to do with shame and everything to do with not making a commotion. Alhaitham finds no need to inform his coworkers that he may be a married man at the end of the year, knowing full well they would make a big deal out of it. 

(In their defense, engagements are big deals. Alhaitham being engaged is an even bigger deal. Unfortunately for everyone, Alhaitham understands this well and deliberately does not speak a word unless they ask. Or, alternatively, if you ever ask.

To his knowledge, people often associate public announcements to be a sign of commitment, and the lack of one would indicate otherwise, which is not true for him. To avoid this possible miscommunication down the line, Alhaitham asks you directly whether you care that only his family knows, to which you blink and shrug. 

“Why count the chickens before they’re hatched?” You tell him, patting your face with moisturizer. “This period is a trial run for us anyways, so I get it if you don’t. By the way, I’m going to go buy some more shampoo soon. You want me to get you anything at the shops tomorrow?”)

If possible, Alhaitham would prefer to only do one announcement via invitations to the wedding. Though now that he thinks more about it, even if you are fine with his choice to keep his engagement private, he thinks you’d be happy if he did announce it, if not to the world than at least to people closest to him. As a result, Alhaitham has vaguely thought of telling his friends with a passing comment and leaving it at that. It could work, if he came up with a proper plan– Friday evening where he can avoid any additional questions after his sudden declaration, drop the fact that he has a fiancé. 

It may not be the grand public announcement that many people, possibly including you, would have wanted, but it would be a compromise between not saying a word of his betrothal to you at all.  

Before Alhaitham could enact his plan a few days from now, Dehya forces his hand. 

"Yo, Alhaitham,” Dehya says, sniffing, “did you change your shampoo or something?"

His coworkers are gathered around the communal table with their morning coffee and donuts, courtesy of the cafe downstairs having a crush on Nilou. Alhaitham only passes by the group when everyone turns toward him (and Dehya) quizzically.

“Dehya,” Cyno begins to say, “are you, by any chance, Dracula’s dog?”

Alhaitham turns away to continue his intended route to the office kitchen to grab coffee. Just his luck, the pot is empty, so he has to boil a new one. He starts the coffee machine when he hears Dehya’s confusion. “What are you talking about, Cyno?”

“Because you’re a bloodhound. Do you get it? Because bloodhounds are known for their acute sense of smell and Dracula is a vampire– a mythical creature known to seek out victims for blood-” 

“Ah, Dehya does have a pretty good sense of smell,” Alhaitham hears Nilou pipe up the same Tighnari tells Cyno to stop talking. Alhaitham sets out a cup as the coffee machine churns out its dark liquid slowly. He’s thinking it would behoove him to purchase the office another coffee maker if it would let him leave the communal space faster. Or even purchase a coffee maker just for his office so he never has to come out here. 

Ah, but then if it’s a better machine then everyone would just keep asking him to make the coffee for them (read: Kaveh), so he’d better scratch that idea. 

“Hey, I’m no bloodhound, alright?” Dehya snorts. “I don’t go around sniffing everyone all the time, just to make that clear. I just happened to notice it because it smelled like the same type of shampoo I use.”

“It’s my fiancé's,” Alhaitham says. He takes a sip of the dark roast coffee in his cup, and he does not need to turn around to know that everyone in the room is looking at him in stunned silence. Actually– Alhaitham turns around just to see their reactions: it will be his only source of reprieve before the deluge of questions. 

Tighnari is the first to recover, as expected of him. “I’m sorry, did you say fiancé?” He asks, “We’re using the same definition of fiancé, right?” 

“There’s only one definition for that word,” Alhaitham replies. He starts walking toward the door only to be stopped by Dehya who’s beginning to grin ear to ear. 

“Whoa, whoa, you can’t just drop that type of information on us without any explanation and just leave!” She says, patting Alhaitham on the shoulder. 

“How long have you been hiding this from us, Alhaitham,” Cyno says, clasping his hands at his chin. “A few weeks? Months? Regardless, I believe some details are overdue.”

“Well, first off, congratulations, Alhaitham!” Nilou says, clapping joyfully. “I’m so happy for you!”

“True, it is a cause for celebration,” Tighnari says thoughtfully. “My apologies for not starting with that. Congratulations, Alhaitham. Now, do we know them or…?”

“If I give you ten minutes to answer your questions," Alhaitham says, "will you stop bothering me about it?” 

Alhaitham is sat at the round table with a small audience as he briefly summarizes his situation. No, they don't know who you are. Yes, he’s living together with you. No, he didn’t meet you on a dating app– it was through a matchmaking service. No, it wasn't his idea, but yes, he's planning to see it through. 

This comment pulls an 'aww' from the girls, which he can’t seem to wrap his head around the reason why. Tighnari is quick to explain, eyes thoughtfully watching Alhaitham. "You can't blame them for feeling this way, Alhaitham." Tighnari says with a hint of laughter, "Coming from you, that's as close as we can get from a full-blown confession of love."

"And to share the same hygiene products…" Cyno nods. "Another damning piece of evidence."

"Hey, 'damning' is a bit too harsh for something as joyful as this, isn't it?" Alhaitham hears Tighnari reply with exasperation.

He thinks about telling them that using your shampoo was out of convenience when his own hair products ran out. You had not minded when he asked. In fact, you seemed a little happy when he used it. Now that they've mentioned it, perhaps it's because for the past few days, he's been smelling the same as you. 

Smell is a powerful sense, after all. Alhaitham thinks he might think of you from the scent of citrus alone. 

"I don't see why I wouldn't go through with this, at this point in time," Alhaitham says. "The whole purpose of this is to find someone whose lifestyle is compatible with mine, and it has simply gone according to plan."

"How long have you been living together?" Nilou asks cheerfully, bulldozing through Dehya’s eyeroll at how ‘unromantic’ he was being and the shared look between Tighnari and Cyno.

Alhaitham counts the days left till the end of the contract. "Almost half a year," he says. He hears Cyno mutter under his breath about how Kaveh should have been here, and Alhaitham thinks it was best he wasn't. He would be the most persistent in his questions, not to mention the bemoaning of the unfairness that Alhaitham, of all people, got to end his bachelor life. And then proceed to demand that Alhaitham treat his spouse right (as if he wasn't already doing that).

"Too bad for Kaveh, huh?" Dehya teases, the grin not leaving her face once during this entire exchange. "Finally decided to take a vacation and missed out this bombshell of a conversation. And- oh! I should let Candace know." Dehya says, pulling out her phone, "She'll be so excited for you."

"And I'll text Kaveh," Tighnari says. "Unless you want to do it, Alhaitham?"

"I'd rather you not do it at all," he says blandly.

Tighnari shrugs. "Yeah, I knew you'd say that so I just sent it."

Alhaitham lets out a sigh and stands from the table. He considers getting another coffee but thinks otherwise lest they ask more questions. "Well, if anyone needs me… don't. I'll be in my office-"

A phone rings. All their heads turn to Tighnari. 

"Ah, speak of the devil," Tighnari says, too innocently for Alhaitham's taste. "It's Kaveh."

He doesn't even have a chance to tell Tighnari to not pick up when Kaveh's voice is blaring on speakerphone, loud enough for the whole office to hear. "What do you mean Alhaitham got engaged? For how long?! And he never told us? What the f-"

Cyno quickly presses the speaker button again before looking up at Alhaitham. He doesn't like the gleam in everyone's eyes since he's spoken about you. "Guess the cat's out of the bag." Cyno says somberly, "Now all of Sumeru Co. knows you're married."*

"Engaged," Alhaitham says flatly. "And we still have another six months-"

Nilou clasps her hands together and gasps. "Wait, Alhaitham, you'll invite us to the wedding, won't you?"

"Oh, you better," Dehya says. "I want an in-person invitation."

Alhaitham hears Kaveh's voice going off even off speaker phone with Tighnari filling in the details. Cyno goads him with his knowing look as Nilou gushes about the possible wedding plans and 'oh, please let us meet your fiancé, Alhaitham!'

"By the way, Candace says 'congratulations,'" Dehya tells him. "And she wants to throw a party for you. When did you want to do it?"

Alhaitham wants to take his PTO, effective immediately. 

.

The news spreads like wildfire. Alhaitham’s gotten used to muting all his notifications during work, reachable only through his email. Even then he cannot escape it when Candace sends him a cordial email to say her congratulations and to ask him to "update his emergency contacts and addresses as soon as possible! ^^"

Alhaitham anticipated the gossip, but he did not predict how badly his coworkers (“Friends!” you would correct him cheerily) would want to meet you. Luckily enough, he does spend the majority of a workday in his own office, so he only has to suffer through the pleading when he goes to get coffee. He’s never been more tempted to buy a coffee maker for his own office. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask him one night before dinner. The question is asked with concern, but there is a hint of amusement in your tone as you watch him dice the onions with a death stare. “Did something happen at work?” 

Alhaitham pauses in his cutting. “I’ve told my coworkers about you,” he says, glancing at you the moment your eyes widen in pleasant surprise. “They’re quite insistent on getting to meet you.” 

Your amusement is palpable now. “And that’s… bad?”

“Their insistence is tedious,” Alhaitham says dryly. He places the steak on the grill as it sizzles. You inhale the intoxicating smell of seared onions and garlic with a smile that he finds himself almost mirroring. “I offered the opportunity to meet you when the wedding happens, but they seem inclined to think the sooner the better.” 

(‘When,’ you repeat in your head, affection bubbling in your chest. Not ‘if’ the wedding happens, but ‘when’ as though it is already set in stone.) 

When you don’t respond, Alhaitham turns his attention from the stove to you, only to see you smiling widely at him. You tell him cheerily, “Then why don’t I just drop by your work one of these days? If they meet me, they can stop pestering you about it, right?” 

“It’s inconvenient.” Before you can say anything further, he elaborates, “My workplace is at least a twenty-minute drive away, forty minutes round trip. If the purpose is to just stop by and introduce yourself, then the commute is definitely not worth it.” 

"Aww, I can do it!" You say pouting. "It'll be fun!"

"No need."

"It's no trouble, really!"

"It is an immense amount of trouble, actually. Gas prices aren't lowering, you know." Alhaitham plates the food with a thoughtful frown. "You're unusually persistent about this. Something tells me there’s something else.”

You shift your weight. "Well, I’ve always wanted to meet your friends!” Ah, that's why, he thinks. As though you read his mind, you cross your arms and huff. "And we can carpool! Besides, I like driving you around, so it really isn't inconvenient for me at all!"

Alhaitham rolls his eyes, much to your indignance. When you stubbornly block his way from setting the dinner onto the table, he sighs, folding easily into your hands. "I know you don't mind driving me, but we'd have to align our schedules when you're not working and I am."

Your face immediately brightens at his words, though it dims just as quickly. "Do you mind," you start to say, uncharacteristically quiet, "that I meet your friends? It's not weird for you, is it?"

A sudden moment of insecurity from you. It takes him by surprise, but Alhaitham nips this thought in the bud before it can think of growing. "No," he says steadily. Because in the end, when it comes to you– "I don't mind at all." When you look up at him with your smile's brightness turned up to a hundred, he avoids getting blinded by swiftly walking around you to set down the steaks he prepared. "In fact, perhaps it's the best plan to have them stop trying to pull me into their conversations during lunch."

Jokingly, you salute him with an ‘aye-aye, sir!’ and he rolls his eyes good-naturedly as the two of you settle down to dinner. 

.

As though speaking it into existence manifested its occurrence, you have the opportunity to meet his coworkers when his car fails to turn on and you, gleefully, suggest calling a mechanic to look at it after you drive him to work. 

(Things tend to work out for you, though you feel as though Alhaitham is the one that makes it happen one way or another. There is no one that has easily indulged you as much as Alhaitham.)

Neither you nor Alhaitahm are morning people, but for this morning, you are up bright and early, humming as you brew coffee and cook breakfast for the two of them. Knowing how late you ended up sleeping last night (habits are hard to break, after all), Alhaitham watches you, mildly bewildered at how much energy you have at seven in the morning. 

"You seem inordinately excited to meet my coworkers,” Alhaitham says, sipping his coffee as you turn on the car. 

You snort in laughter at his tone of voice. "I just want to meet the people you care about,” you say. Alhaitham cannot find it in himself to make a wry comment about it; your genuine warmth has ways of keeping his scathing words at bay, purposefully or not. You continue to speak as you drive, “So you told them we met through a matchmaker? Just checking that we’re matching stories.”

Alhaitham stares at you, knowing full well you can see him in your periphery. “...You’ve been watching too many dramas,” he says, making you laugh. He barely avoids the hand that swats at him.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure!” You tell him, huffing. Alhaitham pulls out the book from the car storage cabinet and begins to read as you get onto the freeway. “I don’t know how close you are to your workplace and how much you wanted to tell them…” Alhaitham can’t help a small smile as hears you mumble, “Wouldn’t it be weird if we said different things? Though, it’s not like you’d ever lie about it…” 

The commute is far from quiet, but Alhaitham finds that he does not mind. 

It’s only when he gets to work that he finds that he minds quite a bit when your arrival reminds him of why he’s been avoiding the inevitable meeting between his friends and you. He knows there is no escaping the noise when the first person he sees upon entering the doors of his office is Kaveh. 

“Oh, you’re early for once, Alhaitham,” Kaveh greets him. He looks past Alhaitham at you. “Wait, who’s this?” 

Alhaitham takes a quick glance at you looking ready as ever before saying simply, “My fiancé.” 

You wave cheerily at his coworkers (and friends) as they all stop to stare before the dam breaks. Alhaitham clicks his tongue and goes to clock in as you take meeting his coworkers (and friends) in stride. He doesn’t worry about you; you are more than capable of handling yourself. 

You are not hard to love, after all.

.

.

.

You can tell your fiancé wants nothing more than to put his headphones on and escape to his office, so you pat his shoulder to allow him to walk away unscathed, though he doesn’t leave right away. You would have been fine meeting his friends alone, but you admit that his presence at your side is comforting, even if he hasn’t spoken a single word besides introducing you. He probably finds you more suited to dealing with these questions and you find that you don’t mind at all. 

Apparently, you’ve chosen a good day to visit because you get to meet the entire Sumeru Corporations cast. 

Kaveh must be the pretty blond that has Alhaitham actually speaking, even if it’s to snark at something he’s said. You haven’t heard as many stories about him as you think Kaveh may deserve, mainly because he has been absent from work for a period of time for an extended project and then a much-needed vacation. You think they’re pretty close, despite Alhaitham and Kaveh’s constant bantering. You can see a hint of a smile beneath Alhaitham’s sarcasm.

Knowing Alhaitham’s zero-tolerance policy for people he truly cannot stand, including Kaveh in his stories about work and as a character in his comparisons (though admittedly they all beret Kaveh’s poor decision making) means Alhaitham likes Kaveh. Enough to be his close friend, if not best friend, if you can say so yourself. 

Tighnari is the one to first congratulate you on your engagement. You don’t mean to be taken aback by the warm wishes, but you’re unused to it. Having an arranged marriage the way you did with Alhaitham takes the surprise out of the engagement that any congratulations you expected were to be at the wedding itself. Hearing it from someone, Alhaitham’s friends in particular, has your cheeks warm with pleasant surprise. Fiancé feels like a foreign word on your lips, but the reality settles in that you are Alhaitham’s fiancé, and you are his. It makes you the slightest bit giddy, the wedding a more tangible reality than ever.

Nilou is not far from Tighnari from giving you congratulations. Her joy is infectious, and you find it hard not to match her energy. Just from her tone of voice and the way she carries herself, you can tell that she’s sweet. You secretly hope that she and Alhaitham work together often; you think the dynamic between the two of them would work quite well. That and you think it’s funny to imagine your stoic fiancé with the ever-cheery Nilou. 

Cyno introduces himself with a firm handshake and the most dad-joke you’ve ever heard in your life. Something about his dry delivery and its unexpectedness takes you by surprise, and you laugh, much to the bewilderment of the entire room. You see in your peripheral vision the resigned expression on Alhaitham’s face and feel pleased to know that he knows that these jokes are definitely in your wheelhouse, much to his chagrin. You must be one of the only people in the office who has found Cyno’s jokes funny because Cyno looks at Tighnari with an ‘I told you so’ look that Tighnari refuses to acknowledge. 

(Tighnari also gives you a glance mixed between disbelief and dawning realization, because he supposes if there is anyone that can have Alhaitham fall in love with, it would be someone like you.) 

“They’re a great person,” Cyno says to Alhaitham seriously. “You chose well.” 

“I certainly did not have the ability to laugh at your jokes as part of my criteria for a spouse,” Alhaitham replies dryly, ignoring the smug look that Dehya keeps trying to throw at him.   

“I’m so glad I happened to visit the office today,” Candace says, clasping her hands. Both her and Dehya were equally excited to meet you, and it does not take long until you are pulled into a conversation with her as the others hound Alhaitham, teasing him. You watch with a fond smile as Alhaitham is (unwillingly) surrounded by his closest friends. For a moment the two of you meet eyes ,and you can see a small smile peek through his exasperation that was meant for only you to see. 

You’re smitten. 

“I’m glad,” Candace tells you, a kind smile on her face. “The two of you look happy together. May your marriage be ever lasting and peaceful.” 

“Thank you,” you say. You take another look at Alhaitham and feel your heart squeeze with unbridled affection. “I hope that comes true too.” 

Eventually Alhaitham tells his coworkers that you have work to go to (a lie) and that you have better things to do than entertain them (another lie). Expectedly, they are quick to call him out, though you suppose you didn’t help his case, glancing back at him forlornly like a lost puppy that has him shooting you an exasperated look. 

“Share your fiancé a little, why don’t you?” Dehya complains, putting her hands onto your shoulders and pulling you further from the door. Alhaitham narrows his eyes at your betrayal when you only shrug innocently. “You get to have them all to yourself all the time, what’s fifteen minutes gonna do?” 

“I was thinking we were supposed to be working for the past fifteen minutes,” Alhaitham says.

“Since when were you such an exemplary worker?”

“When has excellence been defined by overtime? I finish what is needed by the time my shift is over.” 

“Since you’re here,” Candace pipes up, ignoring the two's back and forth. She brings a set of files under her arm she got from her office– you wonder when she had left to do so. “I was wondering if you could update Alhaitham’s demographics. I’m sure there are some things that have changed like his address, emergency contact…” You are not mistaken when you hear the twinge of slyness in her voice, and you feel yourself fluster when she giggles. 

Emergency contact, huh? One of his parents must be his current emergency contact, or even his grandmother. You know it is common to have the spouse as the emergency contact, but well, you’re neither Alhaitham’s spouse (yet) nor bothered to concern yourself with what is ‘normal’ or ‘common’ when it comes to your unconventional fiancé. When you open your mouth to say you’re only going to change the address, Alhaitham tells you, “You only need to put your cell number. A work number isn’t necessary.”

“It is very much recommended if you can, but I understand if you can’t!” Candace provides helpfully, though you are still reeling at the permission given to add yourself onto the emergency contacts. You feel as though most would not make such a big deal out of it, but you are embarrassingly pleased at how Alhaitham expects you to be his emergency contact– the first one to be called when he needs it most. 

You write down your number with a sense of great importance. 

“Let me walk you to the entrance,” Alhaitham says once you finish filling out the form, much to your amusement. 

“Hold up, so soon?” Dehya says, grinning. “We didn’t even get to ask your fiancé if you’ve been good to them yet.”

At this, Kaveh scoffs. “That’s for sure. Speaking from experience, Alhaitham was never the best roommate out there.”

“The same could be said with you,” Alhaitham shoots back. “Have you outgrown the habit of doing DIY projects until dawn or have your neighbors finally grown tired of filing noise complaints?” 

“You-! At least I don’t leave a mess everywhere I go!” 

“Do you mean his books?” You ask, and you try not to fidget when they all turn to you. “He used to leave them in a lot of places, but he’s been really good at putting them in his bookshelves when he’s done.” You laugh. “I think he’s just afraid I’ll spill some food onto it.” 

At this, Kaveh gives Alhaitham a long look that Alhaitham returns equally. “I guess even marriage changes people like Alhaitham, huh?” He comments with a hint of amusement. 

“I have a question!” Nilou says, raising her hand. You can’t help but smile at the gesture. “Are those baubles in Alhaitham’s office gifts from you?”

You blink. “The what?”

“Oh, you mean the drinking bird and Newton's Cradle?” Tighnari asks. “They appeared suddenly one day, and I’ve been wondering if he purchased it himself, but now that I think about it, of course he didn’t.” 

You remember buying those gifts for Alhaitham, but when you didn’t see them at home, you assumed he stored them away; out of sight, out of mind, after all. Whatever Alhaitham wanted to do with your gifts is to his discretion, but the fact he brought them to work to decorate his (most likely) minimalist desk makes you a little happy. 

“Wasn’t there a small dish with a few marbles in them too?” Cyno comments. When he shares a look with Tighnari, his smile grows. “I remember them showing up the same time as the other two…” 

“I got those for him too,” you say. “I thought they looked like the color of his eyes.” You vaguely hear Nilou and Candace coo at your words, but you only have eyes for Alhaitham. “I didn’t know you had them here,” you say, warmth seeping into your voice. 

For a moment, Alhaitham opens his mouth without saying a single word. It is only a momentary lapse, but you grin up at him when it happens, spotting the hint of color on his cheeks. “If I had thrown them away, you would have noticed them in the trash,” Alhaitham says, and you have to admit the man has an impressive recovery rate.

“Oh yeah,” you say lightly, and you can see the dawning realization on Alhaitham’s face as he sees what you intend to say next. “Like that inflatable boyfriend I got you-”

Kaveh laughs suddenly as though it was surprised out of him. “What-?” He wheezes. “Are you talking about those-”

“I ended his misery before he could come to full fruition,” Alhaitham says flatly, and you can’t help but laugh with the rest of his friends. “I was merciful. He should be grateful to me, actually.”

(What happened to never needing thanks from anyone? Kaveh thinks, his shoulder shaking from the residual laughter as Alhaitham finally successfully wrangles you from the office’s grasp and toward the exit. Kaveh watches as the two of you talk to each other easily, your smile never leaving your face as you look up at Alhaitham and Alhaitham’s hand not once letting go of yours as he guides you.

He is gentle with you, Kaveh notes, and he wonders if you realize how you are possibly one of the only people in the world to have been allowed to see this side of him. 

Kaveh was joking earlier, but he was a little serious too, that marriage has changed Alhaitham just the tiniest bit. Or not marriage specifically, he thinks. Love is a more powerful motivator, and he knows full well that Alhaitham is as susceptible to emotion as anyone else, even if he pretends not to be.

He wonders if he’ll be allowed to have a say in the wedding decorations.)

.

.

.

For both your sake and his (though mainly his), Alhaitham prevents you from getting held back by his friends and walks you out as far as it’s allowed without leaving the building. He realizes that this is one of the few times that he has held your hand, and he knows you don’t mind when you squeeze his hand as the two of you walk past the receptionist. It feels as equally novel as it is natural, and Alhaitham knows immediately this is something that the two of you will get used to doing very quickly. 

Alhaitham hears you laugh to yourself again and he huffs in amusement. “You seem happy,” he says. When you nod in agreement, he continues, “I’m sure you probably have a lot of reasons, but can I ask why anyways?”

You smile up at him, beautiful as always. Alhaitham feels his chest tighten for a moment, and it is gone as fast as it came. “You told them I was your fiancé,” you tell him with a hint of bashfulness.

“Yes,” he says, “because you are.” 

At this, you just shrug, the smile never leaving your face. “It’s just nice to hear, is all.” He feels you squeeze his hand again before letting go. “Alright, well, I’ll see you later tonight when I pick you up?” 

Alhaitham opens his mouth to speak but finds that it takes him a moment to say something, distracted by how his heart picked up its pace for seemingly no reason at all. “Yes, I get off at exactly five, so whenever you can come around that time would be fine.” 

“Okay,” you say. The two of you stand face-to-face and for a moment it looks as though you had tip-toed to do something but changed your mind. Your lips press together into a complicated smile before you shake your head. “See you then!” You tell him before he can understand what you meant to do. 

Alhaitham watches as you walk to your car. When you turn back to look at him (somehow, he knew that you would) and wave, he feels his heartbeat loudly in his ears.

.

.

*Mulan reference: "Now all of China knows you're here."

.

.

taglist:

@crowbird @thetwinkims @jaguarthecat @kibbly-bibbly @tanspostsblog @dxstopiaa @theprinceofkhaos @homeinhobii @nagisuterus @sleep-deprivedracoon @scentedcandlesandcookies @secretlyrexlapis @yoimyas @teapartyspilled @herbal-tea-and-manga @quintessentialdreaming @detectivesparrow @certaindreampost @kazuharem @pixelsocs @nekogakuro @escapeis @loki-zos-galvus

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

UGH SO MUCH GOING ON HERE!!!!

the fact that mina knows his notebook might have a clue to what the fuck went down, because she knows jonathan and is familiar with his journaling habits (not everyone carries notebooks for the same reason)

the way he has such an intense response to the idea of mina reading it that he asks for a moment to think it over, and the fact that she gives it to him even though she’s been dying to talk to him for months - it puts me in mind of that rilke quote about lovers being the guardians of each other’s solitude, and brings home even more the horror of his time in the castle - mina offers him both companionship and privacy, while in the castle he was hideously alone and yet without even the solace of privacy (except in his modernly-shorthanded notebook, making its existential weight even more fraught)

he hasn’t called her by her full name since they got engaged ;-;

they’ve already talked about what the relationship should be between a husband and a wife and i actually love that jonathan phrases his belief in the all-important nature of marital trust as a matter of general principle rather than as an outgrowth of his specific feelings about mina, because it (miraculously) both speaks highly to his character (his thoughtful nature, his moral seriousness) and makes him feel like such a lil lawyer - and it also does demonstrate the strength of their relationship because you can see that the notebook makes him deeply uncomfortable even in mina’s presence (as is extremely understandable given what it contains and what happened to him), but he’s willing to wrestle with that discomfort and the discomfort of knowing she might read it because he’s promised to be her husband and he’s going to do it fucking right

the decision to expedite the wedding date to Right The Fuck Now… hot. mina saw her bf lying in bed barely restored to sanity a shadow of her former self and was like I Need To Do Him Immediately I Cannot Wait Even One More Day. (also the romance of they don’t even know if jonathan can go back to lawyering anytime soon etc etc yes yes but shh let me be horny 🤫)

it’s not that jonathan thinks he went crazy, it’s that he doesn’t KNOW if he went crazy or not, and he doesn’t want to know because both options are so devastating and horrifying, but not knowing is also horrifying in its own way (which is all so rich and i will almost definitely return to) - but what he knows is that he loves mina and mina is here and that’s enough for him to build the rest of his life on

the incredible show of complete and total trust when he gives her the notebook - not just that she trusts her with the most vulnerable thing he possibly could (an annotated guide to his trauma basically), but that he trusts her judgment (her wisdom, her ethics, her intelligence) to decide what might need to be done in the future - he tells her what he wants and gives her the book and now that she has all the facts at her disposal he accepts any choice she might make

ok and then the sealed-up notebook as wedding present… a beautiful show of trust and devotion in turn from mina that is ALSO a true hall of fame execution of dramatic irony by stoker, filling the reader with both and dismay because nooooo don’t seal up the vampire notes you’re gonna need those soon! (idk how it is in the original but the chronological format zooming straight from the wedding day to showing us dracula has found lucy again and things are getting worse… brutal!)

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #721

Dracula fish!

This tiny fish with the length of only 17 mm (0.7 inches) is extraordinary indeed: it has seemingly re-evolved teeth that its ancestors lost 50 million years ago! Granted, these "teeth" are not true teeth, with enamel or a pulp cavity. They are merely sharp protrusions in the jawbone that partly pierce through the skin of the mouth, but they bear resemblance to toothed teleosts' dentition quite a bit.

The fishes have several "teeth" on both the upper and lower jaws. The first pair of "teeth" of the males have developed into longer "fangs", which are most visible of all the "teeth" and where the species gets its name. Males will use their "fangs" to seemingly assert dominance, displaying to one another with their jaws wide open, and even "sparring" by nudging their opponent with their "teeth".

[dathen]

One of the weirdest arguments for why people who think Dracula fed on Jonathan are Wrong is that “no one ever thought this before 2022 and no interpretations included it” when there’s a little thing called The Hayes Code. Acting like something that Stoker had to self-censor about in a book published right after the Wilde trials is a 1000% completely neutral topic on par with “what color is Lucy’s hair” or something is just BEYOND baffling to me. Homoerotic subtext has been leeched out of and censored from adaptions of all kinds of stories for ages (where is my Frankenstein adaption that actually includes his intimacy with Henry); all that proves is society’s homophobia.

And then there’s the fact it simply isn’t true. The very first Dracula adaption/spin-off, Nosferatu, had the Count drink from the Jonathan stand-in several times. The scene implying that Dracula fed on Renfield, the 1931 stand-in for Jonathan, almost got censored by movie makers anxious about the homoerotic implications—but the creators pushed it through and refused to cut it. Michael Pink’s Dracula ballet with its incredible sequence of Jonathan struggling with Dracula before being bitten premiered in 1996, just a couple years after the notorious Coppola film that reinforced so much of modern mainstream perception of the story. Freaking Moffat even used it in 2020. This is not an interpretation invented wholesale by Dracula Daily readers on Tumblr Dot Com in 2022.

But on top of that, haven’t we been ranting about how inaccurate and heteronormative adaptions have been this whole time?? How Jonathan’s story in particular is almost never treated with any care or caution, whether by cinema or by academics trying to make him the boring cardboard stand-in for everything wrong with the Victorian era? These are the same adaptions and readings saying that Lucy is a slut who was asking for it and that Mina is in love with Dracula; putting these obscenely heteronormative readings on a pedestal to say “THEY didn’t think Dracula fed on anyone but women, why should we??” is honest to god making my brain dissolve.

I don’t care if anyone personally has a different theory. If you feel that after “tonight is mine!” Dracula changed his mind last-minute and decided to chow on some random worker nailing the boxes shut, knock yourself out. But this weird backlash against the reading and the insistence it’s wrong because it’s not explicit enough on the page isn’t just baffling, it’s downright ignorant.

[calpalsworld]

ANOTHER MINIONS PSA

Im sick of hearing. “Minions would follow [insert terrible irl figure here]” as if minions aren’t living beings who can discern between right and wrong. I’ve heard enough of it!!! It is not true! And no, the reason they wouldnt follow [insert any terrible irl person here] isnt even because the movie is for kids! It is also not even because the minions universe takes place in an alternate history with alternate lore! It is because...

Minions do NOT in fact, want the most EVIL person as their Boss.

Minions follow the most VILLANOUS person they can find. There is a BIG distinction between VILLANOUS and EVIL.

Evil = doing horrific things

Villainous = flamboyant and self-indulgent anti-authoritarianism, particularly pertaining to the Evilcore AESTHETIC

(example 1: they spend centuries serving Count Dracula, some scraggly ass dude who probably only kills like 1 person every couple nights, or maybe just turns a person into a vampire, which isnt very evil if you ask me. but he is SERVING in that outfit. the minions probably stay held up in that spooky castle for the VIBES instead of finding some kind of warlord or landlord who inflicts suffering on thousands per day. so.)

(example 2: they dont even consider following the Queen of England who is RIGHT THERE at the end of Minions 1. No, instead they follow the random kid who came in and stole 1 crown because he has a cool escape vehicle and laughs maniacally.)

SO YES, Minions search for the most swaggiest bad bitches. Not terrible people.

AND ALSO, Minions are shown to desire an enriching environment full of fun and villainy. Not one where they mindlessly harm the world. Minions show empathy and compassion towards other people and all sorts of animals throughout the films. Minions do not thrive off EVIL. Which is why Felonius Gru was the perfect Boss for the minions.  Gru was just a silly kid who wanted more than anything to be famously villainous when he and the minions first met. And he learned all the minions names, learned to somewhat speak their language, and treated them with kindness, unlike the many Bosses before him. (Would [insert irl s*rial killer here] tuck the minions into sleep? NO.) This is why the minions continue to be fiercely loyal to Gru no matter what -- even now that he is part of the Anti Villain League! Minions are conscious creatures with emotions. Minions form bonds and have opinions, and they serve Gru because he is a swaggy bad bitch and also a kind person.

So thats why Im sick of all these jokes about minions following horrific individuals.

Thank you.

[miraclesabound]

Spoiler-Heavy Review/Thoughts on "The Last Voyage of the Demeter"

The crowd at the theater grew to about 15, so still pretty quiet.

Short version is that I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, but it is truly gruesome. The entry will start below the cut with spoilery warnings, because even having read the book, there were some things that caught me off guard.

Warnings for this film include:

trafficking of a young woman as a blood bag/bride for Dracula

Use of racial slurs against both a Black and a Romani character

deaths of all animals on board, including livestock and a young boy's beloved dog - shown with full gore

death of three crew members by burning in the sun after vampiric possession, including the young boy (the captain's grandson)

One of those three choosing sunlight as their method of suicide rather than allowing themselves to fully turn into a beat.

In fact, no one dies peacefully - this version of Dracula is emphasized as truly beastly, relishing the fear of his victims.

I know we've all been rooting for the Captain (named Captain Elliot in this version), but the true protagonist is Mr. Clemens, played by Corey Hawkins. We never get his first name, but we learn that he's a Black English doctor making his way home from Bulgaria/Romania, and he offers his services to Captain Elliot when a previously hired hand refuses to touch anything marked with Dracula's symbol - the stamp of a black dragon.

Other characters include: Captain Elliot and his young grandson Toby, Anna, the young woman given to Dracula as a captive by her village, and the men of the crew, all of whom have sailed with Captain Elliot before.

Then of course, there's Dracula himself. I saw some reviews saying he's shown far too early in the movie - but it worked for me. We find out that Anna was locked in his coffin with him and was meant to sustain him for the whole voyage - so when we see Dracula, he's weak and wracked with hunger for losing his food supply when Clemens finds Anna and starts treating her. Since we see him like that early, there's room for him to grow to almost full power as he burns through the animals and then the crew.

I enjoyed just about every performance in the film, but Corey Hawkins (Clemens), Javier Botet (Dracula), and Woody Norman (Toby) were particular highlights. Clemens is your classic cynical scientist with a heart of gold, Dracula speaks less than you would expect but still has that taunting air, and Toby doesn't read as older than he's supposed to be.

As story beats go, I think I appreciated Anna's the most. I've said in my reread of Dracula that I wish modern adaptations did more with the people of Transylvania hating Dracula, and this version presented that in Anna's character. She's lived under Dracula's shadow as long as she can remember, even before her village elders handed her over, and once she's freed and recovered some of her strength, she's finally able to fight back. I'm a sucker for a character who knows they're doomed but still tries to do the right thing, and Anna is that in spades.

THE LIGHTING IN THIS MOVIE WAS ACTUALLY EFFECTIVE!!!! The daytime scenes were vibrant, and all the nights scenes are lit by an enormous full moon and several stars. It makes the shadow work less muddied than you might see in a more modern-style horror movie.

The movie ends with Clemens technically surviving, but still deeply traumatized and literally scarred - he and Anna scuttle the ship and jump overboard, but not until after Dracula has drunk enough from Anna to curse her and he's badly hurt Clemens' neck. Anna gives herself over to the sun so that Clemens can get to shore, and the closing scene is clearly a sequel hook as he hunts for Dracula in London - or perhaps the Count has already realized that Clemens is on his tail. This worked for me because the film stuck with Clemens. I kept expecting him to run into one of the core Dracula characters, and I'm not sure I would have liked that.

This is all a very long-winded way of saying that this was a film I truly enjoyed, and it is a LOVE LETTER to the book's thesis - the supernatural may have come out of hiding, but if we band together, evil may be halted - even for a little while.

Rating: 8.5/10

[watertribe-enya]

Let me also say that everything else aside, a guy inventing free climbing sheer walls and cliffs and racing across the Carpathians to find you is sexier than a guy being your obsessed medieval husband.

True, true, nevermind the fact that your obsessed medieval husband got along fine for centuries without your presence. He had a harem at his godforsaken castle.

Whatever could it be that she'd prefer about Little Mr Living, with his rosy cheeks and beating heart?!

Movie directors are channeling the worm and spider from "Corpse Bride" for their Mina/Dracula fantasies