#dude's going crazy smh

[thatshadyperson]

"Oh tHeRE's a CURsE oN tHIs CuRsED MuSIc BoX" yeah that's why it's called a cursed music box dumbass, you're going crazy grandpa

[boxwinebaddie]

oh my god so i just saw this picture of froy guitterez with a bearded dragon and i fear i am going to have to give clyde a bearded dragon. i'm not sure how he got her, ( prolly by doing something extremely impulsive, dumb and unhinged ), but he snuck her into him and tolkien's dorm room and was like "okay! so don't get mad BUT--"

...he was Mad, btw. but rm!tolkien doesn't scream because he is a dignified british king ( the only one i respect ) and just speaks at a slightly louder volume and does things with his eyebrows like "Why. Do. You. Have. A. LIZARD. Clyde?" and he's like "okay, first of all, she's not JUST a lizard; she's a Bearded Dragon and her name is-" idk what her name is it's probably something insane like glizzy or salamanda or mary guana, i want to start crying, oh my god. clyde loves reptiles.

and tolkien is like "right...so does 'glizzy' have a cage? food?...water?" and clyde is just staring at him blankly like, "damn. i didn't think about that." KHSSDLKSDH HELP so they go to a lil pet store, i think they figure out a clever way to keep her warm and make her a strange makeshift enclosure. tldr, she gets all set up...except they have to Hide her ( also prolly in some elaborate way ) bc they're not supposed to have pets in the dorms and at first, tolkien was so Anti-Glizzy, like he made clyde put up lost lizard ads online/stuff on craigslist...

...buUUUUt accidentally got attached to her and secretly took the all listings down. anyways, happy pride month ft. rm!tyde co-parenting a lizard daughter together. the world is a beautiful place, in fact. <3

[sunnysunsins]

SH chapter 161 spoilers

What a lovely bride~

[bloominstorm]

Well my fun is over now that Bakugou is being brought back ..

[dourpeep]

Anyway remember I mentioned meeting someone online right? He's great, in fact, near dreamboat in terms of what I've been looking for...

but god, he keeps assuming stuff and taking it personally

[finelythreadedsky]

6th century bce archaic greece dashboard simulator

📜 oracles-onomakritos Follow

guys you have GOT to stop sticking in extra aristeias for your faves, the iliad is getting TOO LONG

⚔️ argivehero1184 Follow

nope lmao check out my guy diomedes he stabbed aphrodite!!!

📜 oracles-onomakritos Follow

look do you want anyone to even be able to perform this whole thing bc i know rhapsodes are impressive but their memories can only go so far

#parahomerica #i spend so much time on this and is anyone remotely grateful?

76 notes

🌠 thalesmilesios Follow

it’s going to be so crazy next month when it gets dark in the middle of the day, the medes are going to have no idea what hit them

🏛️ anaxagoraintheagora Follow

lol like that would ever happen! you’d have to piss off apollo even more than agamemnon did

🏛️ anaxagoraintheagora Follow

i stand corrected.

#ok headed down to didyma to make some offerings now #ngl this has me pretty freaked out

7,264 notes

🌸 iokolpos Follow

poem for atthis 💔

like a hyacinth on the mountains the shepherds tread upon her underfoot and on the ground a purple flower

Keep reading

💐 poikilothronanaktoria Follow

sappho dm me please i won't leave you like she did

247,383 notes

💩 iambicpharmakos Follow

wealth is such a dick, he never comes to my place to go hey hipponax here’s thirty minas of silver, and some extra too! what, is he scared?

11 notes

🏺 exekias-epoiese Follow

sneak peek of my new work! process video will be up soon, and remember I am currently open for commissions!

#ajax 😭😭😭#wanted to challenge myself with the hands and i think they turned out ok #the armor was much more fun though #art tag

693,554 notes

👹 assemblerofchoruses Follow

when you think about it... maybe helen's right when she blames herself for the trojan war? she chose to run away with paris and then so many people died because of it, she even says herself that she was a shameless dog

👹 assemblerofchoruses Follow

helen if your reading this i didmt meanit im so sorry

#i cant see anythignwhat is going on

187 notes

🍃 nikostratethepythagorean Follow

that hippokleides guy is such an icon. siege of tyre? hippokleides don't care! persian invasion? hippokleides don't care! fall of babylon? hippokleides don't care! peisistratus back in athens? hippokleides don't care!

#trying to bring this energy to the new olympiad #niko speaks

326 notes

🫒 notthatmegacles Follow

and don't just automatically vote for your tribe!

💐 poikilothronanaktoria Follow

um who even are any of these guys

🫒 notthatmegacles Follow

dude they're the patron heroes for the ten new tribes, have you been living under a rock????

💐 poikilothronanaktoria Follow

believe it or not i’m one of the dozens of people worldwide that live in a polis that’s not athens

#smh #lesbian problems

28,724 notes

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Phil: Yeah I like Pac and Mike's ending is just hilarious- Pac and Mike's ending to their characters, um, is just them jumping off of Christ the Redeemer w-wi-with Richas. Er, mine, Lullah and-and Chay's ending is just we go- go to sleep. We go to Rose's sanctuary and we go to sleep at peace finally. The good ending, kind of, bittersweet.

Phil: Okay here we go wanna watch some fucking crazy shit? [laughs]

[video starts, Pac e Mike Wow Wow is playing in the background. Mike is saying something in the video, that I can't catch. Philza laughs.]

[Richas dies in video]

[harder laughter]

[pauses video]

Phil: Nah, man, fuck, no the fucking like BOOM noise is like actually like a fucking trigger for trauma. Dude, fuck me, the eggs dying, ahhh with the music is just so fucked- there's such a mixture of emotions in my body.

[rewinds the video, replays that, when Richas dies again, sharp laughter]

Phil: Ahhh God

[pauses video as Mike dies]

Phil: Ah Pac's fucking sad, man, shit, this is why I turn my webcam off, dude.

[plays video, pausing it again when Pac dies and sniffs]

Phil: Ah, Pac! I wanna give him a hug.

Phil: Shit, dude, the fucking music like cutting out is actually so extra sad, Jesus Christ. This is-aw man. Dude. This is- This is why I turn off my webcam, right, when I do lore and I- [Pac in video sniffs again] and I get emotional [Pac speaking. Again, I can't quite pick up what is said] I get- I get emotional, you know, I get- [closes video] I get- and I turn off my webcam you can't see me cry haha

TTS: Wow Philza. How could you [Phil starts laughing] set your house on fire with a toaster. SMH. Happy 9 months!

Phil: Fuck dude, aaaaaawh, god, I wanna give him a hug, dude, no, no mames, no mames.

Phil: It's sad, yeah, it is really sad, honestly. It's so fucking miserable. I was genuinely holding back tears, um, when me, Lullah an-and Chay were saying goodbye. 'Cause I knew. I knew. I knew as soon as we started walking along the wall, 'cause I said to them, after having a good chat, that I- the last thing I would want to do with them would be walking along the wall, and once we started doing that I was like, thch, this is it, this is it, we're gonna end off at the sanctuary and go to sleep.

Phil: And I-I like knew it was coming but I was- I was still holding back tears, chat, it was real sad.

[dnvrsmedia]

dude i got in a fight in the middle of my soccer game today and now i'm thinking ab how goalie!abby would react. -if you still write/take requests for goalie abby-

i’m a center attacker and this attacker on the other team was talking mad shit so i told her to chill tf out and she got up on me shoving me n cussing me out. so i shoved her back and said “you heard me chill the tf out" and we kept shoving eachother until her teammate held her back - the entire game they played dirty and hurt my teammates and THE REF DIDNT CALL ANYTHIFN butttt back to abby

i know abby would get so protective seeing you and another player fighting or seeing her team get hurt by them - she would be pissed, yelling at the ref to call it when a teammate can’t stand back up or running down the field to stop you and this girl from throwing down in the middle of a game

why is this hot LMFAO but slay for standing ur ground!!! fuck the ref for not calling it though smh

abby would be so concerned especially bc she can’t leave her post! you best believe that she’d be furious though. especially if the other team got a corner & the player messing with you within the box!!! oooo abby would step in between you two and tell the player to fuck off!!!

after the game when you shake hands w the refs and the team abby def whispers in the players ear while squeezing their hand ridiculously tight with a bight smile on her face.

“you do that shit to them one more time and i’ll make sure you never play again.”

the player scurries away past you with a quick sorry as she makes it back to her locker room.

you have a knowing look on your face as you go over to abby, her strong arms wrapping around your torso.

“do i even wanna know what you told the poor girl.” you laugh and kiss her shoulder discreetly.

“nothing too crazy, just taking care of what’s mine.” she beams.

protective goalie!abby ugh i love!!!!

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

baking contest w/ the avengers!!

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1k

request: yes / no

original request: OMG CAN U PLS DO THE AVENGERS IF THEY HAD LIKE A COOKING OR BAKING CONTEST?

dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)

characters: reader, scott lang, nick fury, clint barton, harley keener, peter parker, miles morales, tony stark, pietro maximoff etc

a/n: HECK YEAH I CAN!!!! i loved this idea sm i was so excited to get this request :D i'm getting back into writing so sorry if it's a lil bad lol. also guys i'm gonna open requests again so feel free to submit!! i have a lot of muse for spiderverse stuff atm hehe so i may post again today!! tysm, hope u enjoy!!!

taglist: @shefollowedthestars @thecloudedmind @ayohitmanddaeng

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

so there’s this thing that the avengers do

in order to do team bonding

they’ll assign partners in the beginning of the year

& each month, a new set of partners will choose something to do

and it’s always super fun

like that’s how u ended up at the trampoline park last month

& how scott ended up with a broken arm rip king

so this month had to be something a little less dangerous

kinda funny when u think about it like it’s literally the avengers they’re in dangerous situations all the time

and while you wanted to do something different, certain ~forces~ kept preventing that

like y’all were watching a movie a couple weeks ago

and fury came on the screen 

how he could hack into it idk hes nick fury dude he can do anything

but he just looked at the camera and said “no more dumbass trampoline parks”

HAH

so yeah it had to be something tame 

anyway so this month was you and scott!!!!

best duo ever!!!!!!

so you had to plan what to do

& scott refused to go skydiving bc that was your first choice

smh scott it would be so fun!!!!

his arm was still broken & he said that was why he wouldn’t go but like…. scott we know ur a scaredy-cat

anyway you were trying to decide when suddenly he was like

“y/n!!!! i totally forgot! the great british baking show just premiered and i promised clint we could watch it together!”

and that gave you an idea

scott LOVED it

but y’all needed a couple things before 

first of all, u needed baking supplies

when i say baking supplies i mean BAKING SUPPLIES

there’s like a thousand avengers at this point bruh :’)

scott almost got one of those instacart orders for it but u hated the thought of an instacart person getting ur crazy order

so it was store time :D 

let’s just say tony’s credit card was used very well that day 😛

then it was time to pick teams

not everyone had to participate

wanda said she wanted in

so pietro joined too which was slightly concerning

the man literally burnt a bowl of cereal once

and ur probably thinking “how—”

EXACTLY

only you and harley saw it and honestly it rendered u both speechless

tony joined too

but you and scott made sure he knew that there could be NO robots 

vision asked to be a judge

scott said “vis, we really appreciate that but… uh… don’t you like not eat?”

“ah! you are correct, scott. i do not consume food in the traditional way. however, given my vast knowledge & global database, i do believe that i would be a very good judge of presentation and overall ingredient chemistry.”

“alright, you do that buddy!”

also off topic but why do i just know that tony would give vision the nickname “chat gpt”

 sorry i had to get that out ANYWAYY

you got a few more people to participate 

sam and bucky wanted to be a team, and harley peter & miles wanted to be a team too

yknow what that was fine by you

so the day came.

you had turned one of the empty conference rooms into a crazy kitchen setup

thx party city for the confetti & balloons!!! ;)

in came your loyal hosts, scott & clint

(clint begged you and scott to let him host, he kept using a british accent until you said yes & just trust me it was good that he finally stopped)

you, natasha, and vision were the taste & presentation judges

you surveyed scott’s & your work, pretty proud of how it turned out

“ALRIGHTY THEN, READY, SET, OFF THE BLIMEY!!”

vision shot you a quizzical look, but you just shook your head.

scott & clint rly were a…. hosting duo

yep, the most… hosting duo of all time

the hostiest hosters to ever host

omg the funniest thing was that they kept eating the cookie dough from harley peter & miles’ station

they literally had to push them away

peter & miles webbed their hands shut HAHA

everyone else seemed to be doing pretty well though

aside from their usual arguing, bucky & sam seemed to actually be making something good

wanda was perfect as per usual

and pietro was zipping around the kitchen, causing tony’s flour to rise up in his face

steve came over, blowing a whistle and pointed at pietro

you and scott had enlisted him to be the referee

yes, cooking shows don’t normally have referees, but think abt the ppl we’re dealing with here 😀

anyways finally time was up!!!

but you and scott still had a trick up your sleeves.

“and now presenting our special guest judge… GIVE IT UP FOR NICK FURY!!”

yes that’s right, he had said yes to this

after you promised to finish a mission report for him

and bought him some new eyepatches

which was why he was wearing a navy blue one complete with rhinestones

pietro was up first, and he placed four slices of chocolate cake in front of all the judges.

“i gotta say p, this actually looks really good!” you spoke, and he beamed.

natasha didn’t look so sure

“as y/n says, it does look alright on the outside. however, it does seem like there’s some sort of… strange ingredient in the chemical makeup… i am going to analyze for a moment.” said vision

“aw, let’s just eat the damn thing already!” fury spoke, and so you all did.

“mm, it’s good!!” you said, and natasha nodded in agreement.

but did not have the same reaction. 

he had stopped chewing, and his eye had narrowed. he was giving pietro a death stare.

“uhm… fury? what is … jolly wrong with you?” scott asked, his british accent wavering.

“yeah… guv’nr?” said clint.

“who the hell puts hot sauce in a damn chocolate cake. you better start runnin’ maximoff, because i’m comin’ for you!!” fury spoke, getting progressively louder.

“that one was supposed to be for y/n- i mean vision! yeah! oops. um…” pietro spoke, before disappearing from the room in a quick streak.

after that, fury left. 

and that's why now cooking/baking competitions are banned on the premises of SHIELD!!

-----------------------✰----------------------

[doctorsiren]

Was having a hard time deciding between this and the beach one but here

Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Franziska von Karma, Maya Fey, Larry Butz, Phoenix Wright, Pearl Fey, Diego Armando, Mia Fey, Maggey Byrde, Dick Gumshoe, Gourdy

Rating: 11/10

WHAT IN THE TIME TRAVELING COURTHOUSE IS GOING ON HERE okay friends let’s analyze

miles once again sitting like I do and BRO ISN’T WEARING SHOES I never thought I would see the day where Miles and Franziska were just in their socks??

sandwich 😭 but OH NO your sister is gonna spill her wine on you HEY WAIT A MINUTE girlie you can’t be drinking that you’re not 21 (legal drinking age in California is 21, Google says legal drinking age in Japan is 20, and if this is after AA3, she would only be 19? So uhh 🤨 however, legal drinking age in Germany is 16, BUT THEY AIN’T IN GERMANY)

Franziska is like “wth how dare you act like this” towards the people that would obviously act like that

Miles’s being worried that the red wine will stain his red suit smh (yeah I know it would still stain but I think it’s funny)

Maya and Larry fighting over food

Larry’s grabbing her hair 😭 and Maya’s poking his eye

I also did not need to see her toes all bent like that 🙄

Larry’s expression feels a bit like it would come from Phoenix or Edgeworth

Phoenix is oblivious I’m glad to see Feenie lives on in him. Dude is NOT listening, I think he’s also drunk too bc that bottle is empty and he’s all like ☺️ also his tie being a light pink,,,and it’s like the colour of Feenie’s sweater,,,,

PEARL ONCE AGAIN USING HIM AS A PILLOW IT’S SO CUTE

NOW ONTO THE CONFUSING PART WHAT THE HECK DIEGO??? AND MIA??? This is one of the better official pieces of Diego he looks so good here goodness I love him

And his tie is also slightly pinky :)

Mia’s so pretty look at her and her tea cup that probably has coffee in it

I love how no one seems fazed that DIEGO AND MIA ARE HERE?!?!?? but to be honest? Good for them. This is the good ending.

MAGGEY AND GUMSHOE FISHING?? That’s so cute AND HER PANTS MATCH HIS COAT that’s even better

AND I JUST NOTICED GOURDY IN THE BACK NO WAY THAT MEANS THEY’RE AT GOURD LAKE, THE PLACE WHERE MILES WAS ACCUSED OF MURDER NAHHH

Also there’s a rock holding down the corner of one of the blankets and Maya’s shoe holding down the corner of the other blanket, the detail is crazy

[darthpastry]

Part 3 of me rewatching the FNaF movie

"Mr. Raglan? This is Mike."

"Mr. I can't work nights."

If William hadn't already decided to murder him simply for being Schmidt, I'm convinced that Mike saying he can't work nights would've been the moment William decided to kill him off.

----

"I was just calling to see if that job was still available."

"Oh, it absolutely is!"

Dude was so excited thinking about the murder he was going to make Vanessa pull, smh.

----

"The owner's a bit of a... well he's a sentimental guy I guess." hehe, he is me and I am he. I'm the sentimental guy and I have this boy so fooled >:D

----

Why does Michael look more focused when that technician whom people have been guessing is Henry Emily or his movie counterpart is on the training tape. Am I going crazy.

----

Balloon Boy: 1

Mike: 0

----

Whyyyy is one of the rabbit drawings so close the Spring Bonnie one white. It's probably just some kid didn't color it in but it reminds of Vanny and ugh.

----

Mike, literally one his first night: This place sucks. I'm going to Nebraska in the pastka

[evansbby]

We do not talk enough about the little drabble where Steve's all paranoid and overprotective after he realizes that the kitchen is too dangerous and Omega is just a lil baby who can easily get hurt ): Like there's something sooo depraved but wholesome and cute about it, Steve literally is a daddy. Like dude really went from 'I want you to cook and clean for me uwu' to 'U CAN GET HURT? THE STOVE IS TOO DANGEROUS! YOU'RE JUST A BABY' Love how he just keeps treating her like a baby despite being the one who wants her to cook lmao. That drabble is truly under-rated smh.

Yes lmao Steve is so goofy sometimes. Like he’ll say one thing but then completely change his mind. Crazy ass man 😩 like he’s the one who wants his omega to be all traditional and cook for him and luckily for him, she LIKES doing all that so here she is, being the perfect little housewife girlfriend omega. And then suddenly his daddy senses kick in and he’s like “you know what? No. You’re just a baby.” And he doesn’t want her anywhere near the oven or stove?!?

I can just imagine omega squirming in his lap, all confused bc Steve won’t let her go and he’s just holding her and carrying her around or making her sit on his lap while he babies tf out of her and coos at her and kisses her all over and tells her “the kitchen is no place for a baby like you” when literally just an hour ago he was saying “go make me a sandwich, baby. Don’t forget that omegas belong in the kitchen 😏” LIKE ?!???? 💀💀😭😭

[spectorcsm]

AvA6 EP1 SPOILERS

Alright peeps I'm joining in this chaos and you should all fear me This post has no plan or path this is just a ramble analysis of things I notice in the new episode so :D

EXPECT MAJOR SPOILERS, PLEASE WATCH THE EPISODE FIRST ^-^

Ok so like first off guys- maybe like- don't fire your glitch weapons in the middle of a crowded city?? This seems like a bad idea?? You guys are worse than the Avengers when it comes to collateral damage smh

Ok but Chosen stopping mid-chase to save that civilian by destroying the debris really goes to show how he's improved as a character, this guy went from destroying Alan's PC, to rampaging various sites with Dark, and now to this. Glad to see him as a proper hero now :D

I'm happy to see the ice powers coming back cuz after that one time he froze the Firefox I thought they just forgot about it lol

Chosen is Zeus now Also he just like creates a glacier 2 seconds later cool

Also quick shoutout to Alan's Desktop organization He has come a long way

I find it funny how much everyone focused on this clip in the trailer especially, like "Oh no does Orange get mad at Alan again?? Is this related to Vic???" and the reality of it is "lol wanna fight me guys?" "Sure sounds fun :D" Alan you have bamboozled us again

I find this moment rather interesting So after Alan pulls up the thingy and sends them all flying then crashing down, Red appears to be acting like they hurt their head and Yellow notices and crawls over to see if they're ok (Awwwijascsdhljw) but as soon as they do Red just punches em?? However then Yellow puts their hands up in a way almost to be like "whoa whoa it's just me" and then Red accepts the comfort. Idk I just find it interesting, like Red is still in fight-mode after the sparring match and doesn't quite register that it's Yellow touching them at first XD

Chosen: "COME ON DO IT, DO THE EYE THING" Orange: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IDK HOW TO DO THAT" Chosen: "YES YOU DO JUST DO IT, LIKE THIS:" Orange: "AAAAAAAAA" *Tries to do laser-eyes with every ounce of focus they have*

Red: "uhhh are they ok-" Green: "Maybe you should stop them?" Blue: "yeahhh maybe-" Yellow: "Hmm, yes. Interesting"

Chosen: "UGH FORGET IT YOU'RE COMING WITH ME" Sticknapping 101

Aight but like where did this guy (Btw I'll call him Striker cuz that name was going around and it's cool) get this stuff? Has their group attacked a Desktop before and managed to steal enough UI to make this guy OP? Cuz he uses a lot of really crazy stuff during this fight and I can't help but wonder what poor animator woke up just to find the entire UI on their software missing lol

I love how Chosen really just pulls the "Throw the kid in the pool to teach them how to swim" on Orange and his powers here lol Then to Chosen's surprise it does not work "Aw shoot the kid is drowning now I gotta save them smh"

YEAHHHH ART POWERS Ok but actually though I find it interesting how differently the Pencil tool works outside a Desktop, like usually Orange like speed-draws the whole entire thing but out here it's like Ah yes, line scribble = E e l I mean it actually kinda makes sense, in the 3D world it'd be really difficult to draw anything really so the Pen just changes function a bit based on the environment

Poor Green does not enjoy climbing it seems :(

This guy can forever one-up everything "Ok but have you beat up a shark with your bare hands and won?

Ok but this guy's style is just like tribal or primitive and it's honestly pretty cool I have no clue what to call them though so that's up to the rest of the fandom to decide ':D

Also someone else on a different site suggested the name "Warnman" for this guy cuz he looks like the typical hazard sign guy who's always showing the dreadful things that will happen if you don't obey the sign and I think the name fits so Warnman is honestly my favorite of these guys just cuz of how wacky they are lol

Also this guy has to be like Anime Stick or something I do not understand this dude at all but they're sick

Let it be known that Warnman is canonically 2D

Dude how much charge do those electro-bullets hold if that thing is STILL zapping Chosen This poor guy Also the way Striker fights throughout this whole scene is so cool

I find it interesting and I think Alan pointed out in the reaction video (really funny btw you should go watch that too) That Striker is totally just messing with them before that, like sure he probably has to be close to the target to use the Pause attack but I like to think he was enjoying the fight before that and is only just doing it now cuz he's bored lol

Aight so the Rocket Group is the one hunting Chosen I wanna know though- why Chosen specifically? Are they just after all Hollowheads with the powers or is it just Chosen they want? Maybe they're after all of them but Chosen is the only one with a super known presence? Also who are these guys?? They seem to be just some independent group but do they hold any sort of actual authority over Stick City? Man I have so many questions

How do you pause fire-? Does it still burn? I assume not cuz I think it woulda burned the guys bringing him by now Man that's wacky but cool Also another question here is like, is that white box a containment unit or some sort of display case? I'm thinking more along the lines of containment but like he's already paused and they left the door open I think??

Aight now we're getting to the theory-fuel Why are they studying all this UI? Where'd they get this UI? Why do all these sticks look exactly the same??? Like I get that it's just supposed to represent a large group of workers and stuff but they are all exactly the same shade-

A h a A h a a a . . . VICTIM???? VIC MY GUY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?? LIKE I GET YOU'RE PROBABLY MAD AT ALAN LIKE KILLING YOU AND ALL BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH CHOSEN AND EVERYONE?? I have many questions Also I am wondering if all the UI decor in his office is just art or what, are they trophies maybe? They probably had to get the UI for Striker's setup somewhere, did they raid Desktops before? Are those trophies from animators he's beaten? Man Idk but this is so interesting My final take on the episode: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA LET'S GOOO AvA 6 HYPEEE :D

[autisticempathydaemon]

Let’s get mischievous (and polyamorous)

cw: Rated M for suggestive language and themes, gender-neutral pronouns for Freelancer, Alternative POVs, the Damien/Freelancer/Gavin/Huxley/Lasko polycule being an absolute menace to society

None of this would have happened if our favorite boys plus Freelancer could just keep it in their pants till they got home smh

aka Five times the polycule started rumors and the One time they put them to rest

Also available on AO3!

One.

There are a lot of emotions that are normal to see on your friend’s face when they get back from the guidance counselor: anxiety, frustration, even fury wouldn’t be a surprise. Pure, unadulterated alarm definitely is though. 

“Are you… okay…?” Katrina asks when her shell-shocked friend drops herself down onto the cafeteria bench, backpack tossed onto the ground with a heavy thud . Lucy looks up at her, dark eyes wide behind wild, black curls, and leans across the table. 

“Kat, who is Professor Lasko dating?” Kat looks quizzically at her friend, and Lucy presses her forehead against hers and hisses. “Answer the question, or I’ll go crazy.”

“Umm, shit, you know as well as I do?” she hedges, face flushed under the beautiful Warder’s intense gaze. “The rumor is that he’s dating that incubus, Gavin, and that’s why he had to transfer out to another session.” Lucy snaps her fingers and pounds her fist against the table, and Kat wants to laugh as her friend’s eyes bug even wider. 

“If that’s the case! If that is the case-” she says, pulling in Kat by the cheeks. “Then why did I hear that fourth year fire elemental, Damien, storm into his office after I left and tell our professor- and I quote- to get on the desk and see how long he can go without breathing?” 

“Oh, shit ,” she whispers.

“Oh, shit .” Lucy echoes, voice knowing and haunted.

“…that’s, like, kind of hot though, right?“

“That’s not the point -“

Two.

Xavier wants so many things in this world. He wants his team to win the championships. He wants to pass his advanced Healing course.  He wants world peace. Above all, he wants his boys to stop fucking hooking up in the team showers. 

‘It shouldn’t be too much to ask,’ he thinks, burying his face into the small metal cabinet and digging for his wallet. The locker room is dirty and hot and rank no matter how much he implores his teammates to keep it clean and tidy. It’s an objectively gross place, so Xavier has no idea why this is the third time in as many weeks he’s had to deal with moaning echoing off the shower tiles. 

“Bro, how do you do that?” A deep, familiar voice whines, and Xavier fights the urge to slam the door on his head. Why? Why did it have to be Huxley? He has lunch plans at the Dog House with him and Damien tomorro-

“Practice makes progress, big man, and I am nothing if not diligent.” 

Xavier almost trips over his own feet as he backs out of the locker and lifts his ear to the air, because surely, he must have misheard. That didn’t sound like Damien.

“What’re you practicing for, Gav, a triathlon?” 

“Oh, Hux… this isn’t practice.” A sultry chuckle rifts through the room, and Xavier tries and fails to scramble his way out the doors before hearing more. “This is just the warm-up .” 

Three.

If you asked Tony, he would say living next to a fire elemental isn’t too bad; it’s living next to Damien that’s the issue.

Don’t get him wrong, he’s a decent neighbor! Damien never plays loud music after 7 PM. He doesn’t have any loud pets like the dude with the cockatiel on the other side. He returns any mis-delivered packages promptly. He’s overall courteous and quiet… but his boyfriend isn’t. 

Huxley is great in general . The earth elemental is friendly and amicable, always waving at him when they pass each other in the hall or stairwell, always giving him an effusive, energetic greeting. He would say he likes Huxley; he just doesn’t like the obnoxious, sleep-shattering earthquakes that plague the nights he stays over. 

But tonight, as he suffers gales of wind, tectonic tremors, the smell of smoke and ash, the creak of water surging in old pipes, and Damien’s raspy cries of “ Freelancer ” through the walls, Tony can’t help but shove a pillow over his head and miss his old apartment, rats, bats, and all.

Four.

7/11 really doesn’t pay Emma enough. 

Her manager getting a divorce is one thing. Honestly, that’s not even the problem, because Emma didn’t like his wife anyway, and Trevor was obviously happier once the separation was underway. But couldn’t Trevor have been happier in Dahlia ? And not whatever state he moved to, leaving the store understaffed and her undertrained? 

Now, the freak natural disasters, that’s another thing. Like, working a convenience store in a college town was bound to be a little wacky, a little zany even, that’s to be expected. What Emma did not expect was ball lightning, one of the world’s rarest weather phenomenons, to occur next to the hot dog roller not once, not twice, but thrice.  

(First time it happened, she didn’t even know what it was. The second time, she was busy marveling at it happening again. The third time the ball of electricity short circuited the electronics, Emma rang up the nervous couple at the till with a pen and paper.)

This, though- this is the straw that breaks Emma’s back. She glares at an innocent bag of Doritos, the closest thing to the perpetrators that she’ll look, and turns on her heel, inventory clipboard clutched tight to her chest. Fuck the restocking procedure; she has a resignation email to write.

There is a limit to how many times a person can catch a customer with their dick in someone else’s mouth, especially when Emma knows their sweet, studious partner by name. As she crouches behind the counter and waits for the sultry bastard and apologetic, stuttering homewrecker to leave, Emma thinks all the money in California couldn’t convince her to stay, let alone fifteen dollars an hour.

Five.

Once again, Lucy approaches Katrina with wide, shell-shocked eyes, silent and panicked even as she hands her girlfriend her nachos. 

“What’s up, doll? Did someone bother you?” Lucy just shakes her head and sits on the bleachers next to her, taking long, desperate pulls from her soda. “Are you… good…?” 

“So you know Huxley? The quarterback?” She asks, bringing her face close to Kat’s to be heard over the crowd and still have the semblance of intimacy. Katrina fights the urge to kiss the older girl’s cheeks and wins, nodding, listening. 

“Obvs, we just saw him humiliate the other team in the first half.” Luce nods, bringing her hand up to the back of Kat’s neck, pulling her even closer. “He and that Damien guy are the it-couple of DAMN, bless his heart,” she continues, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at the fire elemental at the field sidelines, proudly wearing a letterman’s jacket that’s not his. “He deserves better.”

“Oh, I think Huxley’s getting exactly what he deserves-” Luce hisses, shaking her girlfriend for emphasis. “-considering I just saw him railing my Energetics 101 partner under the bleachers.”

“Not the Freelancer who covers for you when you’re late!” Katrina gasps, scandalized, while Lucy buries her face into her pale, freckled shoulder. She gripes about decency and privacy and beds that no one uses, and Kat thoughtfully mumbles into her coconut-scented curls.

“We could go home and use our bed-“

“Is your voyeur kink something we need to talk about, or-”

+One

“Deviant, what on Elegy is that?”

“Gavin, you’re god knows how old, and you’ve never had a Sloppy Joe?” 

“I’ve had a large number of sloppy things in my mouth. Inevitably, some of them must have been named Joe. They all looked more appealing than that.” Freelancers snickers, almost dropping their cup of water with their shaking, and Gavin stops sneering derisively at the steam table to empty their hands. “Why can’t we all eat at home again?”

“If you had been listening instead of making faces at Caelum behind everyone’s backs, you would have heard Lasko say that he’s too busy with meetings to come home for lunch-” they say, dragging the demon over to an empty round table. “-and us telling him he has to meet us here.” They sit, and Gavin makes his best attempt at seductively lounging in the stiff, small plastic seat (and failing.)

“We could get good food, and I could rift it to him. It’d be easy-peasy as you humans say.” The incubus grins, knowing he’s cute, and Freelancer throws their apple at him, not giving a shit. 

“One. Then you’d be hogging Lasko, not fair. Two. The last time you did that, he didn’t eat!” Gavin catches the apple- damn those demon reflexes- and grins wider like the cat that ate the canary.

“I wouldn’t say that, deviant; after my visits, Lasko is nothing but sated-”

“Gavin, do they not teach you shame at that daemonry and demonry school you went to?”

“Shame was an elective I chose not to take, little Spark. I was too busy learning that trick you like where I use my-” Damien slams his tray down onto the table, the cups rattling threateningly as he sits, and Huxley laughs uproariously, placing a cool, steady hand on the fire elemental’s neck. 

“Careful, Gav. Dames just came back from his Advanced Flame test, he’s already running hot,” he says, rubbing his thumb in little circles beneath Damien’s ear. “He’ll burn you, not by accident, just on purpose.” Gavin hums in pleasure and stretches his leg to brush his ankles against Damien’s under the table. 

“Well, now, there’s a thought. Normally, I’d like a little negotiation before we try something like that, but~”

“O-oh boy, do I want to know what we’re n-n-ne-negotiating n-now?” Four keen heads look up, and Lasko blushes under the attention no matter how often he receives it. 

“Negotiating who gets to kiss you first!” Freelancer says, shoving an exasperated (loving) hand in Gavin’s face before smiling up at the airhead. “Help us out and make the decision for us?” 

With a sweet, light laugh, Lasko puts his food down and kisses Huxley first, the tall boulder of a man barely having to lean to sweetly peck at his lips. Next, he moves to Damien, the two of them quickly kissing each other’s cheeks, the hot-blooded of the pair adjusting Lasko’s glasses as they part. 

  Freelancer reaches for him impatiently, grabby hands pulling him in by the cheeks. Lasko can’t help but smile and laugh into the touch, noses bumping awkwardly, and the freelancer laughs with him before shoving him towards Gavin. When Lasko leans down, his incubus lover snatches him by the waist into his lap, cutting off sweet, embarrassed stammers with a kiss. 

The quintet is happy and content, all smiles and familiar touches, a sight for sore eyes… and a sight for the lunch crowd filling the dining hall. If they weren’t off in their own little world, they’d probably hear the collective metaphorical light bulbs going off in heads and money passing hands. 

(The custodians swept the betting pool, because even in a world full of magic and literal Stealths, no one is both more observant and more unnoticed than the cleaning staff. They’ve seen too much, and if the Academy won’t get them memory wipes, several thousand dollars in winnings will make an excellent consolation prize.)

Tagging:

@calicostorms who was nice enough to ask to be tagged and also makes the best Redacted ASMR playlists ♡( ◡‿◡ )

@gingerbreadmonsters who asked about it, kicking my butt into writing it (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

[catusbeanius]

GUESS WHAT I GOT!!! STITCH LILIA!!!

I had saved up 160 pulls this year just for that card!! (20 single keys, 8 tenfold keys and 1900 gems that i never used) He came home in 80 pulls BD

I also got Ace's Dorm Uniform at 30 pulls and Rook's Dorm Uniform at 100 (I wanted to see if I'd get Lilia's Stitch/Dorm Uniform) So, I'm only missing Cater, Epel, and Ruggie to complete those dorms!! Fun fact, I'm not Rook's biggest fan. BUT WAIT!! I still appreciate his character, dwdw. Time to yap about Rook rq

One interesting thing about him is that he doesn't really fit the NRC vibes, imo. Everyone else is kinda believable to meet. You don't exactly meet stalkers every day. Tbf, you don't meet prince dragon-fae guys every day either, but you'll meet loners with a non-typical family. Ig, by that logic, you could say Rook's hunter/stalker-ness is his unrealistic part, but I feel like it's too major to just brush off.

Same kinda goes with Floyd, but I don't dislike him. Weirdly enough, I probably should hate him because I've been chased around like Riddle is and I hated it.

Hmmmmm....

Oh, also, they (Idr who in particular, I think it was Ridde or Ace) called Lilia horrible to be in an emergency with and I both agree and disagree.

On one hand, I've been in semi-emergencies and hated it when people weren't taking it seriously (mostly bc ik I'd be the one responsible and it feels like they're not respecting my panic smh) but, also, Lilia is a trained warrior. Ofc, they don't know that. Also, I think Lilia has a tendency to overestimate humans. At the same time, I think he's learned enough to estimate them better. I say them like I'm not a person too, smh /j

Completely off topic, but I almost died last night watching the mv for Risky Venus. At the end, they were all facing the right, but Niki was facing the left and it killed me. I wheezed and then I couldn't breathe so I had to cough. Risky Penis almost killed me :'( (I'm pretty sure there's something weird with my lungs, but it hasn't killed me yet soooooooooo)

Anyway, that's all my twst yapping for today. I almost forgot, HAPPY PRIDE!!!!

I will say, though, the main reason I haven't made posts is because I don't have any comments on enstars (I almost got a perfect combo on enthralling theater though!! I also read hot limit and that was crazy) and I've been doing more oc stuff!! Do you wanna hear about it?? Too late, I'll yap rq

Not going too far into detail, but I've been calling it my oc gladiator battles (very misleading name, there's no gladiator battles in sight) and it started bc i watched someone bitch about high guardian spice (in 2024??? crazy) and was mildly inspired to make a shitpost. It has pretty much nothing to do with hgs, but I take a bit of inspiration!! As well as inspo from pretty much everything else I've consumed. I just wanted a highstakes comedy (which negates the highstakes, but it'll still be compelling. idk why I'm pitching this, I'm not doing anything fancy with it) with convoluted stories like enstars (if you don't know enstars, one group is literally a dude in disguise, an assassin, a king, and a chef who might be a cannibal. It's crazy. Another is a dude who lives in the walls, a fanboy, the king's little brother, and a priest. I love them all <3) I've also given them all nicknames which is really funny. So far, I have catboy (Cálictos), organ boy (Corgandry), blueberry headmaster/principal (Prof. Shrub), and goldfishie (has nothing to do with riddle, i just found a bunch of stock photos of fish. also, he has no name. I made him last night) and a couple other conceptual characters like a shady business guy that gives you discounts if you do sidequests.

lmk if you want more yapping about them!! Once again, happy pride!!

[regaliasonata]

Magic dude(who hates the British museum and loves dragon)

👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

Explain thyself :D

Okay so heres how this works

In the Ninja Steel Rewrite the team attends college at the Wave Academy which is one of my other ninja schools within the PR ninja lore(and since the real season didn’t use this fact EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD A GOOD BACKGROUND FROM NINJA STOMR MENTIONING THIS smh)

Their elements are Fire, Water, Wood, Earth and Metal and Preston’s affinity is water, he really likes to invest in the background behind the powers(since they are a bit more metaphorical). Ever since childhood he’s been obsessed with myths and the idea of mysticism within the world, of course his dad has his own doubts but Preston doesn’t care.

He especially loves the dragon, he also likes historical stuff…many times with the ninja skill he wanted to convince Sarah to pull off a heist against any European museums that stole things but she just throws a book at him cause of the trouble they could get in. But that won’t stop him from going on a few missions to find any artifacts that were lost etc.

Oh and weapon wise for each of the ninjas they have the shuriken thing but here it has some additional forms and Preston himself makes a khakkhara staff/spear for both spells and combat. For lore reasons that are spoilers he is obsessed with dragons and all I can say is unlike the show I plan on giving him a lot of focus as the story goes on(magic boy deserves the season he should’ve had💙💙💙)

This might also be another case of blue rangers getting so,e crazy shit within my writing like idk why I’m like this 😭😭😭