#dye some old dress shirts or dresses/pants black

[schmope-is-dead]

only based tiktok post

[gayabeilles]

me, a former homestuck cosplayer, seeing all the other alastor cosplayers at the con wearing gray facepaint:

[the-grey-hunt]

i was encouraged for two seconds and now you all get to look at medieval ghost trick—heavily based on the medieval AU by @theriveroflight!

MORE WORDS BELOW THE CUT:

im gonna talk about each outfit specifically because again, someone encouraged me for 2 seconds and i love talking

YOMIEL (and SISSEL): Sissel gets a little medieval hood instead of a plain kerchief, because it's adorable.

Yomiel's outfit is based on this gentleman here, but with a longer doublet to mimic his suit jacket. His red clothes are plain and a common color, but the richness of the color (from an early dye batch) indicates that it's probably a bit expensive, and the rich black collar and blindfold (because sunglasses didn't exist) are also some flashy signifiers of wealth.

The white leather of his shoes and belt would also be pretty showy (even if those white shoes are a bad idea in medieval mud...). I couldn't figure out a way to make the hat work, but I kinda wanted to.

CABANELA: As a knight, Cabanela not only has some flashy white leather for his belt, but he's wearing a full-length chainmail shirt (expensive!) AND a deep black skirted tunic—lots of fabric that would take LOTS of expensive dye. This is conspicuous consumption to the max, showing off his status (indicated by his silver chain and pendant) as a royal knight.

His sword doesn't quite seem to match...as it's not his, but Jowd's old sword, still bearing Jowd's family's crest. Cabanela's outfit is taken from these two 12th/13th c. knights.

LYNNE: A younger and less established knight than Cabanela, she's wearing more common colors (red, blue, yellow) from cheaper dyes, and her armor is based on this 9th/10th c. fellow. Older gear and much less flashy—she has plain brown leather accessories—but she bears the green ribbon favor that shows her commitment to Jowd's case.

Plus, her hose (pants) are a pretty deep blue and her armor is polished. She's taking good care of her handmedown gear and has made a few splurges on clothes! Her sword may not have a crest, but there's still a few jewels set in the hilt, befitting a royal knight.

KAMILA (and MISSILE):

Kamila as a young noblewoman is referenced from this statue of a French queen. Her veil and circlet are typical for medieval women—most wore some kind of hair covering—but her circlet is metal, while most ordinary people would use fabric. I'm very proud of how nice all the gilding turned out. The power of shading!

Her little purse is not only expensive, but a royal favor—it's silk dyed Tyrian purple, a color that was often legally banned for anyone not in the royal family. I imagine it's a gift from her friend, Princess Amelie! Her clothes are pretty plain, light colors for a noblewoman, which is probably a matter of taste and/or youth.

The pose she's in, holding her cloak fastening down so it doesn't pull against her throat, is very common in medieval artwork of the period where this type of sash fastening was common.

Missile is Missile. you can't improve on perfection XD. I have given him a green collar, in a style to match Kamila's fancy gilt belt.

JOWD:

Jowd is dressed in his "prison clothes", this rough brown friar's robe and rope belt that I copied the pose from as well. However, being brought back onto the case as a knight, he's recovered his old green "coat", a very nice garment called a gardcorps. It's a simple green, not too expensive, but it's lined in a contrasting white, showing the care put into its make.

I switched the opening on his gardcorps to the front, rather than the side as in the original illustration, so that the rope belt would be visible because I really liked the belt. It's got most of the "penitent" vibes I was trying to give Jowd. Also, like the friar, he is barefoot (prison does not give one a big clothes budget).

The background shows the city, like the original green-monochrome city skyline from the game's promo images. This city, however, has fewer and smaller lights, indicating the palace and the castle wall—and over the sea, the Viking longships of Sith's country are swarming in! (it's explicitly not longships in the fic I reference, but the Vikings are just too suitable a reference)

[bleue-flora]

Was gonna do everyone, but I'm feeling lazy so here's what I got so far for the playdate au character details:

Name - Make Believe Name(s) - Age - Favorite Color - Physical Appearance - Other

Phil - Philza, Dadza - 16 - dark green - greenish blue eyes, gingerish blond hair - when he decides to go outside and play with the kids he tends to wear a silly looking striped hat (mostly though he tends to stay inside and text his girlfriend, Kristen)

Wilbur - WilburSoot (or also Ghostbur, Revivebur) - 13 - Blue - pretty fit and tan (because he’s on the school’s swim team), tall and lanky, brown hair and eyes - almost always wears his colonial style hat and when it’s cold enough his favorite yellow sweater

Sam - Awesamdude, Sam, Sam-nook, The Warden - 12 - green - naturally light brown hair he dyed green, brown eyes - has glasses, wears yellow tee-shirt and green cargo pants that he fills the pockets of with all kinds of handy tools and things, including rocks that he loves to collect, has a fake ruby necklace he loves to wear as well as his crown

Clay - Dream - 11 - lime green - green eyes, dirty blond hair - as he’s autistic he wears comfy clothes only like gym shorts and soft tee-shirts for example and hoodies when it’s cold enough (he will not be caught dead in jeans), used a paper plate with a smile on it to jump scare Tommy once and now it’s his Dream aesthetic

Luke - Punz - 11 - blue - bright blond hair and blue eyes - has a gold necklace he never takes off, his ears are pierced with some gold studs,, his favorite outfit is his ripped black jean shorts and white tee-shirt

Alex - Quackity - 10 - Red - dark brown eyes and black hair, kinda more short stubby - him and his family are mexican, tends to wear classic dark blue and black and doesn’t mind getting dressed up for the occasion, always wears a beanie though, carries a pack of candy cigarettes he pretends to light with a lighter he found, tends to carry a deck of cards and his dad’s old pocket knife, knows a little more than a kid should, has a little scar over his lip from falling face first that Techno turned into a whole lore point

Alexander - Technoblade - 9 - red - blue eyes and dirty blond hair though he tried to dye it an edge red to be cool and it turned out pink instead - he loves to wear his red cape and crown all the time, someone once called him a pig because of his pink hair and after that he added pig ears and nose to his Technoblade look, he also often is seen riding his stick horse steed named Carl, he has glasses that George often steals

Mark - Ranboo - 8 - purple - brown hair, green eyes and super tall and lanky - entire wardrobe is black with lots or variations of black and white, often see with sunglasses and face mask on to be mysterious and of course his crown

Nick - Sapnap - 7 - Orange - brown eyes and unkempt hair that’s just long enough to be annoying that he keeps out of his eyes with his white ninja headband - favorite outfit is black athletic shorts or pants with a flame themed shirt, when it’s cold he’ll wear the same shirts just with a long sleeve black shirt underneath, often carriers around a katana and pretends to be a stealthy ninja

Karl - Karl Jacobs - 7 - purple - light brown hair and blue eyes - when it’s cold he loves to wear his iconic hoodie, he wears lots of fun colors and patterns like the stereotypical stylish gay guy, he has a old stopwatch he likes to carry around

Thomas - Tommy, Tommyinnit - 6 - red - blond hair, blue eyes, tall (for his age) and lanky - likes to wear khaki and that two toned classic tee-shirt, often see with red bandana around his next like some western outlaw and appropriate red devil horns

Toby - Tubbo - 6 - green - bright blond hair and blue eyes - Niki gave him bumble bee barrettes he wears to keep his bangs out of his eyes, he’s very attached to his stuffed pig, can be found wearing cuffed jean shorts or sometimes overalls

George - Gogi - 5 - light blue -  brown eyes and messy hair - always carries around his mushroom patterned blanky, likes wearing his favorite iconic blue shirt and jeans

Current families developed in age order:

Dream, Techno, Sapnap, George

Phil, Wilbur (and surely Fundy needs to be the youngest)

Purpled, Quackity, Slimecicle

Punz, Vikk and Lazar (4 year old twins)

(Ya know based off appearances alone maybe Tubbo and Tommy should be twins?…)

 Others TBD...

[welcometo79s]

[repost because I got shadow-banned and I'm back now]

@clonemmunism got me thinking with their post about the war ending and the clones just making very bad fashion choices so here's my thought on what everyone would wear and my rating:

Hunter [4/10]:

Hunter doesn't really care about being fashionable. We got a glimpse of what he would wear in The Bad Batch and I don't think it's very good. He owns a couple of cute scarves but usually he just dresses like a less fashionable Cut Lawquane. And Cut is already pushing it. It's nothing too bad, he just looks like some farmer on Dantooine. No, the bad thing about Hunter is that he literally does not differentiate between clothes he wears going out and clothes he wears practicing knife throwing and juggling with. So most of his stuff has little cuts and tears in it. He also sticks to the type of clothes that Cut gave him, which is the only thing saving him from being a fashion nightmare. He did however try to pick absolutely atrocious clothes for Omega until Echo stepped in. Like he'd attempt to get her a pink shirt with a porg vomiting a rainbow on it and military khakis.

Echo [10/10]:

His outfits are top-notch, he just doesn't dress properly for the seasons. But hey, that's not what we're ranking here. Echo is a crop top guy. Crop tops in summer. Crop tops in winter. And he looks good in them. He wears regular black pants and a variety of casual jackets on top of the crop tops. Sometimes leather jackets, sometimes bomber jackets, sometimes parkas, sometimes open shirts loosely hanging over the tops. Gets matching accessories and high quality boots for his outfits too. Ends up getting himself a belly button piercing. Fashion icon.

Tech [6/10]:

He only has one outfit and it's beige suit pants and a white shirt that's stuffed into the pants. He owns multiple duplicates of the pants and the shirt. Leather shoes. The only thing he switches out about the outfit is that he wears a variety of funky bow ties.

Wrecker [4/10]:

I'm sure there's people on here who found Wrecker's beekeeper outfit from the Saleucami episode cute but it's not very fashionable, nor are the rest of his clothes. Fisherman hats. Crocs. The "my 50 year old dad on the balcony" shoes (those cork sandals). Ponchos and pants that don't fit together color-wise. Sooo many tie dye shirts. Those jeans fabric shorts with lots of cuts in them. The very short ones. Very rarely an elegant evening gown he looks really good in. That gets him an extra point.

Crosshair [5/10]:

He's the Hot Topic Brigade. He has a style and he sticks to it. Some people like it and some don't. Almost always wears a leather jacket. Buys all his clothes at the Star Wars equivalent of Hot Topic.

Fives [7/10]:

Usually wears black jeans and some black t-shirt with printed words on it. Sneakers. Jeans jackets, sometimes with fur. His outfits are good but he wears some of the most atrocious shirts known to mankind. On a good day you get "Viva la Clonevolution", "I'm a Republic War Crime" or "Enemy of the State". On worse days he might wear something that says "Sparkle on you crazy doggo!", "I eat cement", "I can't fucking do be do be do it anymore" (all real shirts by the way) or "Call me the Uwunator". The otherwise completely normal, nice looking outfit adds to the insanity. Sometimes Echo pretends he doesn't know him. It's the fact that Fives does this on purpose that really gets Echo.

Rex [1/10]:

Listen. The Bad Batch and Fives have the privilege of having Echo to be the damage control for their fashion choices. Now we're getting into the bad territory. Rex has so many of these white tank tops that you can see his nipples through. Sometimes there's hot sauce stains on them. He also has a fuzzy jacket that Fives got him as a joke. Rex does not know it was supposed to be a joke. At this point Fives is too intimidated to correct him. He wears light shorts that some rich kid would wear to the golf course under the tank tops. And cowboy boots. Also huge elegant statement necklaces on top of this. And that one stupid fisher hat that says "rexcellent" on it.

Hardcase [2/10]:

Listen the only reason Hardcase has more points than Rex is that Hardcase doesn't want to look fashionable, Hardcase wants to look fun and that he does. He joins Fives in the cringe t-shirt extravaganza. Would wear the ugly pink porg shirt that Hunter wanted to get for Omega. See-through jackets. Glittery heart sunglasses. Glittery silver disco pants that get wider at the bottom. Rainbow bracelets that work like rattles. He annoys everyone around him by shaking his hands to his "improv gospel". Red leather boots that go up to his thighs. Sometimes he wears them under the disco pants, sometimes over them. Fives loves his outfits. He's the only one. Sometimes Hardcase tries out a variety of colorful wigs.

Tup [9/10]:

He looks so cute. So many people hit on him. Lets his hair grow a little longer and starts wearing half-buns. Also a crop top guy, just a little shy about it at first. Wears earrings and looks really nice with them. Has delicate wrist tattoos, maybe some branches with flowers wrapping around his arms. Otherwise simple, normal pants and sneakers.

Jesse [3/10]:

Tup and Fives are carrying the 501st in terms of fashion. The rest are all fashion don'ts. Jesse is no exception. He also wears crop tops but his don't have sleeves or straps. It's just a strapless bandeau top hanging over his pecs. On top of that? Baggy oversized jacket with a comical amount of pockets that he always stuffs full of things. He's been stopped multiple times by the Coruscant Guard and searched as a suspect for being a spice dealer. He just has his pockets stuffed full of candy though. Baggy pants with equally as many pockets fading from blue into purple into red. The jacket is a dark green. Sparkly golden dance slippers.

Dogma [1/10]:

Big sun hats. Very tight leather pants that end just below his crotch area and then restart at the knee. The pants have two parts basically. The two parts are not connected. See-through sneakers. Frilly white shirts that some 18th century vampire would wear. Tie with little loth cats on it. All of this in combination btw.

Fox [10/10]:

I can do this in one sentence, look up "dark academia outfit men" on Pinterest and you get Fox's style.

Mayday [0/10]:

His isn't even an outfit, it's just a bunch of fabrics he bought just like that in the market and somehow wrapped himself in them. There's no shirt, pants, jacket or anything like that, they're just pieces of fabric wrapped around his body like towels. One of them he wears as a scarf. On a good day he looks like some type of monk. On a bad day he just looks like a mess.

Howzer [3/10]:

You know that outfit Sportacus wears in LazyTown? That's his style. He wears things looking similar to that.

[silent-raven13]

High School AU

(Au: All the Spider gang are in high school except for Miguel, Peter, Jess, Ben, and etc. Miles and Hobie are dating. Gwen is Grunge aesthetic with Hobie's group of friends. Pavtri is dating Gayatri being the typical high school sweethearts.)

In Brooklyn Vision Academy, Miles giggles being pin against the school lockers while his tall skinny punker's hand on his waist muttering very dirty, yet romantic words towards the graffiti artist.

Miles is only seventeen years old having on his white collar uniform with spray paint stains and embroidered sunflowers on it, his blue jacket around his waist. His hairstyles into twist part is dye red.

The Academy may be strict on their educational system, and provide more opportunities, they are quite strict on dress code. Luckily, Miles always stated he's part of the art club and they are working on a massive mural right outside in the courtyard.

However as for Hobie, the punker didn't care how many dentition, warnings and all the other lectures, he does what he wants and wears what he wants. And he never steps out of bound from the dress-code policy, he specified how his ripped pants is suitable for low income students, and brings up classism. Either way, the principal normally left him off the hook not wanting to hear him.

So here's Hobie with his wicks tied into a bright blue loose ponytail, he wore two belts of different colors of yellow and pink, and miss match shoes and socks. His blue pants with patches, ripped white collar shirts and piercings. His lips painted black, wearing eyeliner and a messy smokey black eyeshadow with a bit of dark purple. All breaking dress code in the eyes of older teachers.

The seventeen year old teenager smirks at his boyfriend having to whisper to him again, "Mi, you gonna ditch Spanish or what?" His lips hovering over his Sunflower's lips as they make out.

Miles wraps his arms around his punker's neck, "Bae, you know I can't miss Spanish. My mamí got mad for having a B in class."

"Tsk," His punker sucked in his teeth then whispers again, "Luv, you can skip a couple of classes. Yuh a smart lad." His cockney accent coming out from time to time.

"Mmm," Miles' big doe eyes on his hot boyfriend, still thinking about it. When he thinks to himself, he does this put pout where his lips puckered out.

Hobie's heart flutter by his Sunflower's cuteness. Ugh, he wants to be greedy for today, so he flirted some more. "Come on, Sunflower." He purrs having his voice low, his hands pulling his boyfriend's hips forward feeling his crotch. "Don't do me like this. I want you to go to my pad and maybe we can you know."

"I know what?" His Sunflower asked pretending to not know what his boyfriend means.

"You know," The tall teenager leans over for another kiss, his lips feeling such soft sweet lips. The sounder of their lip locking echoes up in the third floor in building A, a place no one is ever around. "Hmm?"

"Mmm," Miles sighs loving how great of kisser his boyfriend is, "Okay, but if I get in trouble I'm gonna be mad at you."

"Luv, I'll take all the blame as long I'm with you." They made out with tongue this time, Hobie purrs lowly as he pull away, "Your so fine, right now. I gotta have you." His mouth hungry for more as he went in another heated kiss.

"Ohh, mmm." His Sunflower's knees felt weak feeling those soft lips. Pulling away to kiss him, "Bae, you're too much."

"But you love it." This made Miles bashful, he does love it when his boyfriend spoil him. They were about to kiss again, until one of the doors to the second floor opened wide open. The two froze seeing their happy bubbly friend spotting them.

"I knew you two would be up here!" The brown skinned preppy boy happily said, he saw Hobie looking annoyed. "Awe, don't be mad."

"Pav! What are you doing up here?" Miles asked. He tries to avoid his boyfriend's grumpy attitude.

"Gwen kept texting you if your gonna skip your last class, but never responded." Pavtri chuckles, "and I knew it's because ya'll were up here. Were you the ones leaving used condoms on the staircase." Just joking around, he likes seeing Miles' face. So priceless!

"What! No!" The Black Latino looks so horrified like hell he'll get caught in the school. Sure him and his boyfriend done things like touching each other, but never full blown sex in the school staircase. "That's so ballsy! I'm not the type!"

Hobie chuckles, his Sunflower is too cute. His arms wrapping around his hips. "He's only teasing, Sunflower."

"Yeah, like you ever done that." Pavtri cracks up. "Anyway, are we down at your pad, Hobie?"

"Miles said yes, so yeah. We should get going!" The punker chimes.

"Alright, I'll go let the gang know. See ya there." Their friend left them alone, which was a lot better.

The punker was about to go back to kissing his boyfriend, until a hand stops him. "What?"

"If I'm skipping, I need to get my art supplies from my club. I left it in the art class instead of my locker." Miles pointed out. "And my painting is there."

"Okay, we'll go get it, but first..." His mouth went in for another kiss. The two happily share kisses.

[acurlygirlamy1]

"Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said."

Author- Camille Rainville who has a blog called Writings of a Furious Woman. ❤

https://writingsofafuriouswoman.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/be-a-lady-they-said/

[gepperl]

TRANS MALE PASSING PROTIPS

Targeted specifically at trans men who have not begun medical transition, but for anyone. Of course, this is just what works for me and everyone is different.

Shorts that fall mid thigh and are baggy can work really well to make a more masculine figure. This is a trendy style with cis men, and if they are looser on your thighs you can look more rectangular. Basketball shorts are always fine, but for bigger people can end up sticking to your thighs and making you look like a masc lesbian. Looking like a masc lesbian is so so common guys this is what we are trying to avoid. See here for reference

2. WALK WITH YOUR SHOULDERS. Walk like your shoulders are the widest part of your body. Move them kinda forward and backward. Watch a video of a man walking next to a woman for context on what I mean. Women walk with their hips, and it makes all the difference for you in someone's head. Practice in the mirror before doing it so you don't look like a fool.

3. Hair!!!! I know you guys don't want to let go of the 2020 fluffy boi haircut and that is ok. If you don't want a skin fade short haircut, there are other options. Also, if you belong to a subculture, like punk/emo/whatever else there is, look at male styles as it can be very different than what is normally accepted ( for example, men have long hair in metal subculture, you can style it like them). In general, hair is very meticulous, as for some people too short is masc lesbian and too long is woman.

This kind of hair can do wonders. For men of color/curly hair people, if you are not out locs are a very good option as they are typically read as masculine but are gender neutral. Afros, braids, even skin fades with a lot of hair at the top can read feminine. Another style option could be short cornrows that end at the neck, twists, or a fade with less hair at the top like this.

I am not black, so I cannot speak for how this would be read in a black community, but this is how, from my experience, I would view the hairstyles. Sorry if this is not appropriate. Also, I am not here to tell you not to dye your hair. It can work if you style it with masculine clothes and are dressed in a specific style like emo or scene or something. Do what you will with that.

4. If there is ANY peach fuzz on your face, make the most of it. I know I have high testosterone levels naturally, so I grow facial hair a little, but if there is enough to dye it, dye it. If there is like barely any, if its not visible in the mirror if you're really looking (not INSPECTING), it's probably not worth it, and that is fine. use your judgement, and if it is not enough, just shave it. It's better to look clean shaven than desperate for face hair. Eyebrows, mustache hair, sideburns can all be darkened with eyeshadow, brow brushes, and just for men beard dye.

5. LAYERS. I know you guys have seen this one before. Flannels, button ups over black t-shirts, zip up hoodies. It might get a little hot, but it covers your sweat stains anyways. I promise guys it helps so much with shoulders, hips, boobs, it makes you look more masculine. Don't get that ugly ass red and black checkered one though. Think if you would see a masc lesbian wearing it and use your best judgement. I heart layers.

6. Pants. Woah. Pants. I HATE pants I know you fat trans men get me. Old navy women's jeans...and you guys won't like this one...are actually pretty good. SPECIFICALLY the sky high wide leg ones. Get those a size up and cuff them, wear them low on your waist, perfect. Other than that, jeans are shit. I don't really waste my time with men's pants anymore because of my hips but cargos are great, baggy sweats with the band at the bottom are great, PJ pants good, dress pants are a struggle but I've heard dickies work well for people with a smaller body. Not sure though. My tactic is I go to a thrift store for hours and try on all their pants, then find similar ones online or take pictures of the brand for the ones I like and find more.

7. Accessories and jewelry. Iffy. Anything you could describe as dainty, if it's not a family thing or important to you, probably not. Friendship bracelets are good, pendants are good, earrings depends on where you are and what you are wearing. Studs in men are common where I am, so I wear them. Observe the cis men at your disposal. Accessories, bags don't really matter unless they're like the strawberry hot topic mini bags. Don't get those at all those are fugly. Mini bags are not great in general, just better to get something else. Watches are heavily loved here they look very male and also you have the time always even a cheap watch is fine just not a woman's watch. It has to be a men's watch. You can tell when it is a woman's watch don't get those. Nail polish is fine no one cares, it's more popular now with boys. Especially if you're a little girly pop already. Of course that also depends on your environment.

8. Stance. Sitting with your ankle on your knee is comfortable and way more masculine than crossing your legs. Confidence. Fake it until you make it because cis men are so arrogant guys. This is what I mean btw

9. Don't be afraid of being feminine. Don't give up being yourself in order to be masculine. Your happiness matters the most. Love you bye, I'll update this if I think of anything else.

[lalulutres]

"Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said."

Author- Camille Rainville who has a blog called Writings of a Furious Woman. ❤

[theshadowrealmitself]

Tried to draw what they’d look like for my one au where Peter can give others spider abilities but I fucked up the coloring which was,,, the most important part,, so it’s all gonna have to be text format for now

Peter: red+blue coloring everywhere, anywhere you’d find hair is a bright blue and red that matches his suit, the design of the colors is the bottom part of his hair is blue while the top part is red, the innermost parts of his eyebrows are red while the outermost parts are blue, and every eyelash alternates, so it’ll be: blue eyelash, red eyelash, blue eyelash, etc

He uses an image inducer (most commonly used by Nightcrawler if you need to look it up) to hide his appearance and look like regular old Peter Parker, but if he has the time he’ll also go to great lengths to do things like dye his hair and use makeup to hide his odd colored body hair, he also uses the image inducer to make himself look weaker and scrawnier along with baggy clothes

Those baggy clothes include loose fitting pants with a good belt (also makes it easier to hide his suit under), a button up shirt, then some sort of knitted sweater/cardigan/etc depending on his mood, and the world’s thickest coke bottle glasses that he actually needs unless he consciously uses super seeing, which is apparent to everyone when he uses it, as it turns his whole eye, whites included, an inky black

His suit is a classic red and blue Spiderman suit with the black webbing and large spider, but unlike other Spider suits, he also has other small and subtle spiders throughout the black webbing

Miles: his transformation gave him black and red coloring, which worked out great for him as most of his hair was black to begin with, I haven’t figured out his hair yet, but the outermost parts of his eyebrows are red, as well as his lower lashes, everything else is black

He has an image inducer as well, but he mostly uses it to hide his hair from his mom, doesn’t do much else to change his appearance, if he’s really worried about things, he’ll use a bit of makeup to alter his body hair, also has his own baggy clothes helping him as well

Those baggy clothes, when he’s not wearing his school uniform, is similar to the stuff we’ve seen in the movies, but he also has baggy clothes he wears over his suit (which looks like his comic version but with waaaay more red webbing on it), and the baggy sweater plus shorts that he wears over his suit is,, his own superhero merch, so he’ll switch it up occasionally if he finds some new clothes he thinks look better

Gwen: She got blue, white, and pink coloring, but was able to keep her blonde hair, other than keeping the blonde I haven’t figured out yet how I want her hair and eyebrows to look, but for her lashes, on the top they’re pink on the innermost parts and blue on the outermost parts, and her bottom lashes are white (this did NOT show up well no matter how many times I tried to draw it but it looks cool in my head, trust me)

She doesn’t use an image inducer, she’s just dedicated herself to appearing like a huge fan of the Web Warriors whenever anyone asks about her hair or lashes or anything, she’s very confident that out of all the people in New York, no one’s gonna zero in on her and accuse her of being Spiderwoman

When she’s not wearing whatever dress code her work requires, she’s wearing her own merch as a civilian, but,,, it’s the off brand merch, where the pink doesn’t match the pink of her outfit, and the symbol on front is like a cutesy spider instead of what her suit actually has, she likes to buy them from art walks and stuff, and then her pants will usually just be her suit, since it’s mostly black it just looks like she’s wearing tight leggings

Her spider suit for now, unless I think of something else, is like the suit the Gwen Stacy wears in itsv, but with a ballet skirt

All 3 of them have sharp fangs, although I haven’t settled yet on if I want Peter to be the only one who can transform others (sorta like the “only head Vamp can change people” rules) or if they all have the ability, also unlike with Peter, it’s not visible when Gwen and Miles use super seeing, but they can’t turn it off

Edit: Also, both Gwen and Miles have an extra spider on their suits where Peter bit them

If anyone has any questions I would love to answer them!!

[blackjackkent]

I actually kind of like this one for Hector? The Solemnity outfit he was wearing is really pretty but honestly more fancy than something Hector would normally wear, but this (Comfortable Ashmeadow Outfit in his usual Black and Azure dye) looks much more like something in his wheelhouse.

With that in mind, wandered around to everyone else in the camp and reassigned everyone else's camp clothes as well. Final results:

Karlach is now wearing Hector's Solemnity outfit, which spontaneously developed a boob window which shows off the infernal engine. She and Hector are now in matching colors again, which is the height of romance.

Shadowheart gets the Opalescent outfit that Karlach was wearing, now in "Muddy Red" dye. Still a fairly dignified color palette while evolving a little away from the all-black of her Shar days. I actually really like this outfit but there are only a few dyes it really works with, since anything too bright makes you immediately look like a marching band drum major. I think this is a good vibe for her though.

Jaheira gets "Swarthy Wanderer" in my old favorite "Ocean" dye, which just looks tremendous on her. Ocean looks good on everyone, but I love this deep teal on her, and this shirt looks like well-worn road clothes while still looking much more comfortable than the tight vest she was wearing previously.

Lae'zel gets the Lionheart outfit in "Black and Jade Green". I honestly expected to struggle with getting a good look out of this outfit, but it actually looks surprisingly good in a surprising number of colors (which in this game is unusual). This feels like a slight step up, fashion-wise, from her just hanging around camp in her bra (which I only realized now literally was her just wearing an outfit that was only pants), while still allowing her to show off the girls to good effect. I really like the muted teal on her too; it goes well against her hair.

Gale gets another version of the Solemnity outfit. This is one we bought directly in this color from Carm; it's labeled as "Solemnity Outfit in Purple," but when I use any of my currently owned purple-adjacent dyes, I get a different result, so I can only assume this is dyed with some dye that I have not yet encountered and is therefore particularly fancy and valuable. I think Gale looks rather dignified in it.

OK look. Hear me out. This outfit used to be Shadowheart's, but it looks really good on Astarion when re-dyed in Black and Furnace Red (which seems to have some gold accents also?). Gives him a nice broad look across the shoulders with the patterning, and lets him show off the guns, too. I think the sleek look is something he would gravitate towards; I tried putting him in some of the looser-fitting, "soft" shirts (i.e. Gale's starting outfit) and he just sort of looked uncomfortable.

Wyll gets the Splendid oufit, dyed in Black and Summer Green. He's the only one of the group with an actual fancy background (except maybe Gale by some definitions) and his starting clothes define him as having "good-humored performativity", and so it fits that he should get the fanciest clothes. I really like the look of the silver on black and that green is just a nice, comfortable color. Sadly, at high-rez the fabric looks like it would be scratchy af to wear, but beauty hath its costs.

None of the remaining shirts from Carm looked particularly good on Halsin so we will have to do more fashion hunting for him. I didn't want him to feel left out though so he's wearing Astarion's old outfit for now, dyed in Sage Green - which actually doesn't look half bad on him.

All of this is subject to future change, of course, if we find other fancy stuff to dress everyone in. I will keep you all apprised. ;)

[lovelylogans]

the parent trap

CHAPTER TWENTY: the queen elizabeth the second the second

The twins attempt to revive the past. The parents wish to change it

⁂

Patton watches, amused, as Remus looks in the mirrored wall of the elevator, stick his hands into his hair, and deliberately mess it up.

“Kiddo,” Patton says, his voice coming out a touch too wheedling for a father speaking to his eleven-year-old. “Not even a little hint about where we’re going?”

“Nope!” Remus says in delight, shaking out his hair like a dog, and Patton stifles the urge to reach out and even out the collars of his shirt; one poking up, one tucked inside his jacket.

Knowing Remus, that’s an intentional part of the whole ensemble. He’s wearing a almost chromatically green silk shirt with some kind of rippling design reminiscent of tie-dye. He’s paired it with his little leather jacket and a black pair of dress pants, and also his lime green Converse. Patton supposes you can’t win it all—mostly formal is still a major win in the books in terms of the Remus outfit appropriateness for the occasion meter.

“Not even after I point out how many surprises I’ve had today?”

“Nuh-uh,” Remus says, licking the palm of his hand and running it along the back of his head to make his cowlicks stick up even more than they already do. “You’ll love it, Pa, trust me.”

“You understand why that makes me nervous,” Patton says. The elevator comes to a stop, and Remus skips out of the elevator.

“Hey,” Patton calls, hurrying after him. “you get why that makes me nervous, right?!”

“C’mon, Pops!”

Patton follows Remus out of the front door of the hotel, where Remus has paused. Then Remus grabs his hand and starts hauling him toward—

“We’re going in a limo?!” Patton says, shocked.

“Apparently.”

Patton turns to see the voice, and nearly does a double-take.

Janus is devastatingly handsome. 

He’s wearing a pair of elegant earrings, dangling circular diamonds surrounded by gold, cascading down like clusters of grapes ripe for the picking. 

He wears no necklace to match them, which only serves to accentuate his long, graceful neck, his collarbones and shoulders, which are bare to the evening air—the neckline is straight across, perhaps an inch or two below those very collarbones Patton had once pressed kisses to, with only a pair of little straps to show that the shirt is clinging to him via some means other than magic or the sheer, brute strength of Janus’s strikingly good looks.

His pants are tailored, fitting well—Patton absolutely refuses to gawk at him for any longer—and he completes the look with a little clutch he’s holding tightly in one hands, a checkerboard black-and-white shawl he’s somehow managing to keep up with his elbows. Patton would’ve dropped it five time already, but Janus, as always, makes it all look so effortless.

Patton had almost hoped that ability of his had faded through the years, or perhaps quelled itself in the face of Patton being engaged to another man.

“Hello, Papa,” his other son says.

“Hey there, Rome,” Patton says, trying his best to snap out of it, Parker, by wrapping an arm around Roman’s shoulders and tugging him into his side, lest he mess up Roman’s hair, which looks very particularly coiffed. “You look great, sweetheart!”

He’s dressed in a much more classic suit style than Remus—white shirt, red tie, suit with a red pocket square folded carefully, and Oxford shoes. Patton does spy a little peek of bold red patterned socks, though. So he is still an eleven-year-old boy putting some fun in his outfit.

“So, erm…” Janus leans in, rising up on his tip-toes slightly to whisper in Patton’s ear. And there it is, that smell, that intoxicating smell that’s haunted Patton for years: freesia, sandalwood, sage. “Do you have any idea where they’re taking us?”

“Not a clue,” Patton murmurs back.

Janus pulls back with a sigh, tapping his clutch against his hand. “Right.”

Patton clears his throat, stepping forward and opening the limo door.

“Gentlemen,” he says to his sons and ex-husband, “after you.”

⁂

“Where are we?” Janus asks, even as Patton hustles around the car to open the door for him.

Patton offers a hand. Janus, almost like he can somehow not think anything of it, clasps Patton’s hand in his own, pulling himself to stand.

Janus’s hand meets his own, and suddenly it’s years ago, and they were giddy with new, young love, and yet at the same time they’re older, father to twins, and Patton’s calloused hand is holding Janus’s smooth one and once they were married and he had been allowed to hold Janus’s hand like this all the time and how sweet it had been then, how bittersweet it is now—

And Janus lets go, and Patton swallows, returning his hand to his own side

“Boys,” Patton says, “I don’t really see a restaurant here… is this where we’re eating?”

“No, actually,” Remus says, grinning brightly, and he points across the water.

Where a yacht is waiting.

Patton’s starting to have a very nervous feeling about this.

“That’s where we’re eating.”

And so Janus and Patton are promptly hustled down the dock to a small speedboat that carries them the short distance across the water to the boat.

Yes. They are boarding the boat. He’s once again boarding a boat with the man who had once been his husband. Who he’d met on a different, very large boat. This is somehow real.

“So,” Janus says, with a wry twist to his mouth as they ascend the stairs. “How exactly are we paying for this?”

“We’ve pooled our allowances.”

“Remus,” Janus scolds.

“All right,” Roman cracks first. “Grandfather chipped in a bit.”

“Roman!” Patton exclaims.

“Okay, he chipped in a lot,” Remus says with a laugh, before he speeds ahead of them all. “C’mon, you guys are gonna love it!”

Roman gently nudges past them to join his brother, before they both turn to face them with a choreographed flourish.

“Patton,” Roman says.

“—and Janus,” Remus says. Patton is slightly cheered that the oddity of being called his first name by his child is not only strange to him. “Your dinner—”

“—awaits,” Roman says, and together, they pull open the door to reveal the boat’s interior.

There’s a rear wall, painted blue, with several nautical-themed paintings along the wall, but the real star is directly in front of them: they’re near a massive window open to the outdoors, which means the boat is practically open to the bay all lit up, the city lights glinting off of the water.

“Boys,” Patton says, slightly choked up.

It’s beautiful. Dark woods and white tablecloths and blue accents, candles flickering in spare corners to provide the whole area with a soft, warm glow; the windows to the interior are lined with heavy-looking blue velvet curtains, which look comfortable to the touch.

Janus clears his throat. “The table’s only set for two.”

Patton blinks at him, then looks down at the table.

Yes. He’s right. There’s a floral arrangement of roses in the middle of the table, two tall candles on either side, two empty, silver plates with silverware, napkins folded into little boats, and two chairs, made from the same dark wood as the rest of the place.

“Oh,” Remus says, sounding like he’s barely quashing his laughter. “That’s the other part of the surprise. We’re not joining you!”

“You’re not?” Patton says.

“No,” a familiar voice says, “but I am.”

And then, clad entirely in white, one of Patton’s most favorite faces rounds the corner.

“Good evening, I’m Virgil, and I’ll be your sommelier this evening.”

“And I am Logan,” Janus’s cousin says, rounding the corner, in matching naval whites with Virgil. “Your chef.”

“May I offer you both a glass of the bubbly, in the hopes that you will perhaps not yell at us for following the orders of these particularly brazen eleven-year-old boys?” Virgil says, presenting a bottle to Patton in a well-practiced gesture.

Patton’s about to speak, but Virgil taps at the label. Which makes Patton inadvertently read it.

A 1988 Ruinart. Oh, Virgil knows Patton’s wanted to try a Ruinart from 1988 practically the moment since the champagne had been bottled, darn him. Buttery and hazelnutty, with a hint of honeyed lemon at the finish, or so he’s heard—and the cool spring and sunny summer meant an excellent harvest that year, it’s meant to be divine.

Patton wavers, looking from the bottle, to Janus, back to Virgil and Logan.

“It is rather sweet,” Patton admits in a quiet voice.

“Oh!” Remus cries out, and they all turn to face him. “We forgot the mood music! Roman, hit it!”

“Just relax,” Roman says as he clambers for a remote, “Sail through time… back to yesteryear…”

He hits the play button as both twins depart behind closed doors.

I love you for sentimental reasons… I hope you do believe me…

And Patton’s eyes at last fix onto one more decoration.

A life preserver, painted with familiar eleven-year-old handwriting.

Queen Elizabeth II ♥ 1986 ♥

“They’re recreating the night we met,” Patton says. “The boat, the music…”

“Yes, I’d gathered that,” Janus says dryly. “Virgil? I’ll have that drink now, if you don’t mind.”

Virgil pours two flutes of champagne with a practiced hand, setting the bottle in an ice bucket before he ferries them over.

Then he and Logan bow out.

And Janus and Patton are alone.

Truly alone.

Well. As alone as you could get, Patton thinks as he spies two identical heads peeping through the door’s port windows, on a ship like this.

But then, he and Janus had made that work quite a bit to their advantage over a decade ago.

“Now I know how a goldfish feels,” Patton murmurs, tilting his head in the boys’ direction.

Janus turns and offers a truly impressive Paternal Look Of Scolding. The twins both hastily duck.

Patton clears his throat, gesturing to the vantage point that looks out over the bay, a little further away from everyone else’s viewing stations, and Janus seems to understand his gist. They step away together. 

“You know, I haven’t been on a boat since the QE2.”

“No, nor have I,” Janus agrees, then looks down at the champagne glass. “Erm. Well, here’s to…”

“Our sons.”

Janus looks at him. His eyes, in the low light of the candles, the distant city lights, the shimmering reflections of the water, are all tourmaline: inviting, captivating, glittering, but inscrutable to him.

“Our sons,” he agrees softly, and gently clinks his champagne flute to Patton’s.

Patton chances another look to the windows; empty. So either they’re alone, or the twins are crouched somewhere out of sight with their ears pressed against the door.

“You know,” Patton says, quietly. “If you don’t mind—now that we’re alone—I wondered if…”

Patton gathers his nerve. 

“I may never be alone with you again,” Patton starts over. “So… only if you’re comfortable—can we… talk? About us? Those few weeks feel so hazy to me now. It ended so fast.”

Janus smiles, a bitter little thing. “It started so fast.”

“Oh,” Patton says, quiet. “That part isn't hazy to me at all. I remember that bit perfectly.”

Janus smiles, sipping his champagne.

⁂

“Seems like it’s going well out there.”

“Yes, it rather does.”

“Feels a bit silly for us to be spying on them in the same way as the kids.”

“...yes, it rather does.”

“Guess we should probably occupy ourselves with the next course. Um. What is it?”

“Oh! It’s a vichyssoise. Potato and leek soup.”

“Huh! Sounds good.”

“I can ladle you a sample, if you’d like. Certainly the boys don’t seem too inclined to it—what are they doing out there?”

“Playing poker, I bet.”

“Oh, goodness. Yours is a poker fiend as well?”

“Oh yeah. He’s banned from playing with customers, he swindled someone out of almost a hundred bucks once.”

“Goodness!”

“Yours?”

“Oh, yes. Him and my Uncle—Janus’s father—if you walk into the study while they’re together, they’re almost assuredly playing. Here you are.”

“Oh—thanks… hey, that’s really good!”

“Thank you.”

“Do you like to cook?”

“I do. Most people wouldn’t expect it, but I’ve always rather enjoyed chemistry. It’s simply a different application.”

“Applications of chemistry…?”

“...yes…”

“...maybe I should, um. Check the wine stores.”

“Oh—yes. That’s probably a good use of time. I’ll… go serve.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

“...”

“...”

“...after you. It’s, um. It’s a bit of a squeeze in here, isn’t it?”

“Quite right! Yes. Erm—I’ll just… go—! Oh, I hope I didn’t step on your foot just now!”

“Oh, no, you’re—you’re fine. Ah, sorry I grabbed you—”

“Quite all right. I fear I might’ve fallen. Ah. If you’ll…”

“Right, yeah! Yeah. Letting go now. Um. Good luck with the soup.”

“And good luck with the wine.”

⁂

Patton’s almost better than he remembers.

Which is, Janus thinks, absolutely disastrous news for him.

“So,” Janus says, fishing for a change of subject. “You seem to have done well for yourself, haven’t you?”

Patton shrugs, all bashful and unintentional charm.

“Your own vineyard—that old dream of yours actually came true.”

“Well, yours too,” Patton says. Still uncomfortable with too much of the attention on you, I see. “You were always drawing on napkins and corners of newspapers, and now you’re this major designer. Vogue! You were always reading that, and now you’re in it!”

Janus cannot help but grin at the memory.

“We both actually got where we wanted to go.”

“Yeah,” Patton says. “We did.”

“And I thought I’d never see you again,” Patton says, very quiet.

“Isn’t that part of it?” Janus says bitterly. “Never seeing each other again. Is that part of why we’ve let things lie the way they have, for so long?”

“Not we, Janus,” Patton says.

Janus sighs, reaching for the champagne, wishing it was a pack of Parliaments. “Well, you know, that part’s become hazy to me too, over the years.”

“You don’t remember the day you packed?”

“Oh, no, I remember that perfectly,” Janus says with a cringe. “Did I end up hurting you when I threw that…?”

“The hairdryer?” Patton says and, lucky Janus, his voice is all wry amusement now. “Not enough to leave a mark that’s lasted this long.”

“Right,” Janus says. “Erm—sorry. That was… rather too far of me.”

Patton swallows, suddenly very preoccupied with fiddling with the place setting.

“So,” Patton says, voice very soft. “That day… why’d you go?”

“Oh, Patton,” Janus sighs. “We were both so young, I had such a temper… we said stupid things, and I packed. Got on my very first plane and…”

Janus looks down at the champagne, swilling it about the glass. It’s a lovely color, a soft flaxen yellow, and the combination of bubbles and the cut of the glass catch the light in a very interesting way.

It’s an easier thing to focus on than to look Patton in the eye while he admits this old heartbreak. A ridiculous one, to be sure, but one that he still holds, cradled deep in his heart and undisclosed to anyone.  

“You didn’t come after me.”

He takes a sip of the champagne, attempting to seem unaffected as he looks up. 

Patton looks stricken. It’s as if someone has stolen the residual joy that seems to sit everpresent upon Patton’s face, from the crinkles that are starting to form at the corners of his eyes to his resting, generally pleasant expression.

It’s as if Janus has stolen all the joy from his face, Janus corrects himself grimly. It is Janus who has put this suspicious shine in his eyes and the way his fists are clutching, uncertain, at his once elaborately-folded napkin.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

The words are barely a whisper.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore now—it’s all done with.” Janus clears his throat. “Anyway—what are we going to do about the boys?”

“I want to be in Roman’s life,” Patton says immediately, then he clears his throat, rubbing a finger under an eye. 

“And I want to be in Remus’s,” Janus says. “We’re in total agreement on that.”

“Good,” Patton says, looking relieved. “And the boys—they’ve met, the court can’t keep them apart after all this, can they?”

“I’d certainly hope not,” Janus says, frowning. 

They both fall briefly quiet as Logan serves them a vichyssoise.

“I’ve never been sold on that judge of yours,” Logan says, with a scowl on his face. “Psychologists say that separating siblings, in the short term, cause stress and greater potential for sadness and loneliness. In the long-term, it could cause traumatic effects—there was recently a study revealed that intentionally separated twins and triplets into adoptive families without disclosing to those families or the children until they reached their adult lives.” 

“Was there?” Patton says, startled. 

“Oh, yes. It’s an ongoing conversation—especially concerning the ethics and potential coercion.”

“I’ll take your word for it—I’m not exactly the bookish type,” Patton says, with a little self-deprecating laugh. “Goodness, how awful for those poor people. But—but if all the common ideas now say so, then they’ve got to agree to a reworking of the custody arrangement, don’t they?”

“It’d be madness if they didn’t—ongoing psychological trauma!” Janus says. “We’d contest it, of course.”

“Of course!” Patton says. 

“What was the name of that lawyer we used last time? If he’s still in practice, we may as well get someone familiar with the case.”

“Remy,” Patton says. “Erm—Remy… gosh, how do you spell his last name. It was really long, I remember that. Remy… Zatawski? Zawikowski?”

It takes the rest of the soup course for them to remember that his last name is Zawistowski, and even then it’s because at last Logan takes pity on them and goes looking for a phone book that, fortunately, has his law firm listed.

“He’s probably not in the office right now,” Patton points out.

“Sure,” Janus says. “But we can call and leave him a message, can’t we? Here—you should probably leave your number for him. International calling’s hell on the phone bill.”

They both pause.

“How much international calling do you think the boys have done in the last month?”

Janus sighs, pressing his palm to his forehead in an attempt to stave off an upcoming headache. “I’m sure we don’t want to know.”

“Probably,” Patton agrees. “All right, here goes.”

He dials in, putting the phone on speaker. Sure enough, they hit an answering machine.

It beeps.

“Hi,” Patton begins. “This is Patton Parker, myself and my—my ex-husband were clients of yours about eleven years ago? Janus James, there was the matter of international custody—”

Janus figures their case is probably fairly unique.

“Anyway, we’ve recently had a meeting and we’ve decided we’d like to rearrange our custody agreement. Let us know if you’re capable of taking our case back on again, or if you have any recommendations for us. Thanks so much for your time. Oh, I should leave my phone number so you can reach me—”

Janus absolutely tries his best not to memorize the digits that Patton reels off in an exceedingly well-practiced way, but, well, he says the phone number three times, and what if Janus has to call him in the future regarding the children? No, knowing his phone number is for the best in the long run, surely.

Janus figures that will be the end of it.

And it is, until they reach the end of the entrée—they’ve mostly chatted about the children, though there were a couple momentary side-tangents into their respective businesses these days—when a splitting beeping echoes through the air.

Patton blinks at him, but he returns his hand to his pocket.

“That’s my phone,” he says uncertainly.

“Go on.” Janus says, gesturing with his fork.

He opens it, then puts it on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey—Patton Parker, great to hear your voice,” says that breezy New York accent, familiar even after over a decade apart and through a phone line. “I’m so happy you called me back, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for ages, I think you changed your number—listen, you still have time to get in on the suit—”

“Suit?” Patton says, blinking. “Sorry, what suit?”

“The lawsuit,” Remy says.

“I… don’t know about any lawsuit,” Patton says. “Janus, do you…?”

“Why would I know about some American lawsuit?” Janus says, as baffled as Patton.

“What lawsuit!?” Remy says. “Jeez, I really didn’t have the right contact information, did I? Look, there’s a whole situation—the same judge who presided over your case years ago, he’s getting sued.”

“What?!” Janus and Patton both say at the same time.

“Look—long story short—the floodgates have been opened on this guy ‘cause he way overshot his hand in regards to international custody, he’s getting sued for malfeasance, you two definitely have a case given how he’s divided up your boys, do you want in?”

“I—yes, of course,” Patton says, still perplexed.

“Are you telling me,” Janus says, incensed, “that this judge who repeatedly told us that this would be the best for the boys—”

“Didn’t know jack shit?” Remy says. “Yeah.”

And then the rest of the evening is lost entirely to details.

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

[diacripticcomplex]

Diabolik lovers AU where they’re human and normal teens:

Shu: a stoner, he’s so severe depressed he doesn’t know how to roll so he prefers bong hits, Edibles and prerolls. Super antisocial and always listening to music usually RnB old school 90s rap and some old bands as well, he’s that one guy that shows up like 5 times the whole school year. Would have long messy hair cause he wouldn’t cut it. Definitely only wears sweats, hoodies and slides.

Reiji: would be such a try hard overachiever, but acts like he’s all calm and composed. Is doing great in all of his classes because he’s trying to graduate earlier to go to Medical school. A goodie goodie, and lowkey a teachers pet, will purposely sabotage someone if they’re doing better than him. Reminds the teachers to give homework, tells the whole class to stfu when the teacher is talking. He likes to iron all his shirts for school, usually wear button downs, dress pants and dress shoes, hair slick back, he isn’t a big fan of loud sounds so doesn’t like music.

Ayato: Very popular and for all the wrong reasons, he enjoys bullying teachers and often gets in trouble, if he wasn’t such a troublemaker he would’ve been on the basketball team, physical education is the only class he’s doing good in. He likes to smoke weed sometimes with Shu, but he can’t stand the indica strain Shu usually smokes, and Ayato can not hangggg he’ll fall asleep after 4 hits, he knows how to roll too but his favorite drug surprisingly is percs, he likes the boost it gives him but he doesn’t understand how badly he treats other people when he’s off the percs, he likes to dress like a hype beast, expensive clothes and trendy things.

Kanato: that weird kid that literally brings his childhood toy to school and talks to himself, he hissed at people in the hallways and everyone thinks he’s a bit queer, he might be but surprisingly a lot of emo girls have a crush on him and he gets a lot of ACTION. He’s doing great in arts and literature but sucks at sciences and math, will literally scream at the teachers so they have no choice but to pass cause if not he will get them fired somehow, he also dyes his hair every few months and wears eyeliner, listens to screamo rock and wears a lot of band tees and plaid.

Laito: slept with every girl at school, somehow he’s good at convincing them to do so, never dated tho he lacks the emotional commitment, flirts with the teachers and lunch ladies, his signature in every class photo is a wink, he’s a day drinker and drinks at school, sneaking vodka into a water bottle, kanato hisses at him in the hallways, he also wreaks of Dior perfume and wears a lot of brand named luxury clothing, takes him 40 minutes just do to his hair only for him to put on his Gucci fedora, sometimes he’ll smoke a Cuban cigar, he’s doing bad in all his classes but has a girl in each class doing his schoolwork and homework.

Subaru: gives super black cat lone wolf energy but he’s really good at school, all his classes he’s doing really well, he argues with teachers when he thinks the lesson is stupid, enjoys debating but won’t join that club or any club. He sometimes smokes weed with Shu, when Ayato isn’t there since he finds him annoying, rescued a cat once and took care of it and still does, some girls have a crush on him but he’s oblivious to that.

[sizey-oc-smackdown]

ROUND 1: BATTLE 5

Participants: @sizeshiftingdeath 's Derek, Chase, Ash, and Quince, @kayla-crazy-stuffs 's Kyo Miyama, and @poprockpanda 's Oliver "Ollie" & Morrigan "Shadow Bestie" (omg my nepo babies)

Descriptions: "Derek- Messy dirty blond hair, light brown skin, wears a bandana around his neck, freckles, pinkish eyes Chase- White, brown hair, usually wears sweatshirts, freckles, light purple eyes Ash- Pink hair, pale, scar under right eye, blue eyes, traumatized Quince- brown skin, Brown hair, scar under right eye, green eyes, traumatized but pretends he isn't, dad jokes all day every day"

"slightly dark brown hair, green eyes, white t-shirt with black pants and dark brown boots. He also has a scarf the color of his eyes that covers a scar/wound on his neck."

"Mouse boy got abandoned by his family, fucks around and is bad at it, and then gets a cool shadow beast friend. Shadow Bestie is a quirky cryptid made of shadows."

Propaganda: "Quince- He is Ash's dad and is a 41 years old. This bitch (affectionate) knows no fear, which, since he's a borrower, is not a good thing. He actually gave himself the scar across his eye just to "look cool" which he regretted almost immediately since he now can't see out of that eye (it does look cool tho). He went missing/got captured when Ash was 10. Who knows what happened to him? (I do >:)c )

Ash- They are a non-binary borrower. They're 16, blind in one eye bc of the scar. Definitely is terrified of humans, takes forever for them to warm up to any. Dyed their hair using some random pink hair dye they found and thought it was cool. Got it pretty much all over their hands and neck on accident.

Chase- He's 19 years old. Chase tries to look big and scary but he's a real softie and wouldn't hurt a fly. Also, he is bisexual chaos lmao. He is an absolute disaster half the time and I love him for it.

Derek- He's 19 years old as well. Eventually him and Chase start dating. He's seen some shit but you can't really tell unless he tells you. And by tells you I mean he drops it in a normal conversation so casually it gives you whiplash, also the reason he always wears a bandanna around his neck. He is a very kind man."

"Really mean towards the humans but really nice when it comes to his little sister"

"Ollie is a little cringe baby who hasn't had a peaceful day or a good night's rest since he was 11. SB is just a curious cryptid who is super interested in Ollie's shenanigans."

Extra Bits of Propaganda: Ollie and SB Fic

because i am the poll runner and i want my little guys to win i am going to bribe a bit. if they make it past this round i promise to finish and publish the second chapter i planned for their fic of them hanging out and i will draw them both in pretty dresses. hope this convinces y'all to not murder my buffoons in round one lol

[magicalgirlmascot]

May or may not have been inspired to create the KNPS Toa in Hero Forge. Probably also gonna do the Turaga. I’m def curious as to your thoughts on everyone’s appearances, wanna see how what I have so far compares.

I am in TEARS please please please show me when you're done!!!

I've been kind of deliberately vague about their appearances in the fic itself because last time I wrote a big long human!Bionicle fic where I was more specific about their appearances I. wound up hating it later lol. I will say though that my Bionicle Sports Anime designs aren't necessarily what I have in mind when writing! (Those are mostly just for drawing Bionicle fanart without having to draw robots and possible eventual comic reasons.)

I do have some stuff in mind, though! I'm putting it under a readmore because it wound up getting fairly long lol

Tahu: redhead, toned and fairly beefy on account of the MMA but not like dehydrated about it, jeans, t-shirts, and button-downs with the sleeves rolled up kinda guy

Kopaka: my brother thinks he should be albino but I'm on the fence there, either way he does have blue eyes and light hair cut pretty short, glasses, tall and thin

Gali: petite, curly hair usually pulled back from her face, wears a lot of long, flowy clothes (cardigans, skirts, etc.)

Onua: short af, fat, muscular, hairy, I've made Gimli jokes before but I honestly do picture him looking like Senshi DungeonMeshi with less beard, almost exclusively wears black jeans, glasses are not prescription but to help with his light sensitivity

Pohatu: tall, runner's build (muscular legs, kind of average weight distribution tbh), thick brown hair that he's been growing out, tends towards muted colours and earth tones

Lewa: fucking beanpole, tall, thin, and gangly, hair is a bird's nest 99% of the time and he has given up trying, wears green almost to the complete exclusion of other colours, loves himself some good cargo pants

Vakama: glasses and tidy beard, greying hair, middling height, wears a lot of old man sweaters/cardigans

Nokama: taller than Matau but shorter than Vakama, hair is going grey but she dyes it, carries herself with grace and poise, it's. I do picture Lucretia Adventurezone a little bit while writing her ngl

Matau: short!!! absolute manlet and either mad about it or chill with it depending on which is funnier in context, wears loud shirts

Onewa: was not a cane user at the start of the story but is one now on account of his bad back, growing his beard out, worst case of resting bitch face you've ever seen, decently tall

Whenua: tallest Turaga, thick glasses, has worn a dress shirt and tie to work every day for the last 20+ years and isn't going to stop now even if his husband makes fun of him for it >:(

Nuju: average height, long fingers, went white by age 35 (claims it's from stress but it just runs in the family, Kualus was also fully white by 35 and Matoro probably will be too), dresses nicely but not a full shirt and tie like some people

Also you didn't mention them but bonus characters bc I've been thinking about them:

Takua: built like Lewa (tall and gangling), dyes his hair blue, fashion choices are "the colours gave me a headache so I bought it immediately"

Jaller: short king, blonde, probably the most athletic kid in the class

Hahli: shorter than Takua but still pretty tall, wears jeans and sturdy clothes, solidly built

Krahka: I mean sometimes she's a fox and sometimes she's got six arms and tits the size of her head, she can look however she wants

Again please please show me when you're done!!!! I would like to see it

[theknitpotato]

Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said.

-Camille Rainville