#eat sleep jdm

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

28 DAYS: CHAPTER SEVEN

Summary: Dean Winchester is an addict and an alcoholic, a USMC veteran, a father, and an older brother. As Battalion Chief with Lawrence Fire & Medical, Dean comes under investigation when he makes a dangerous and impulsive decision, defying his superiors and abandoning the team he is supposed to lead. He is given a choice to go to rehab for 28 days or jail. His lawyer insists on rehab, and Dean begrudgingly abides.

Chapter warnings/tags: mentions of underage sex work

Words in this chapter: 3,100

Author’s notes: Allegedly, the Dean v. Dean scene from “Dream A Little Dream Of Me” was supposed to be John v. Dean but JDM couldn’t make the schedule work. That got me thinking about how else I could use that pivotal scene in this AU. You’ll see that scene sort of sprinkled throughout this chapter.

Thanks for your patience as I adjust to my new work schedule. I have the next two chapters as well — they just need some marinating and beta-ing.

Many thanks to @brrose-apothecary and @stusbunker for pre-reads and for being my friends.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“I do hope he makes it.” Rowena waves as she, Gabe, Dean, and Meg watch Crowley make his way to the exit.

Crowley turns before walking out the door, tossing Rowena a nod before flipping two backward Peace signs to either side of her, effectively telling Dean, Gabe, and Meg to fuck themselves.

“Rude,” Meg murmurs into her coffee as Gabe wraps an arm around Rowena’s slight shoulders.

“Ya know, Ro, statistically, only three-tenths of us make it,” Gabe says. “So it’s better for us if he doesn’t.” 

Meg does a spit take of coffee while Dean barely keeps his own in his mouth to swallow. “Fuckin’ savage, Gabe,” Dean chuckles, slapping Meg on the back. “Breathe through it, sweetheart.”

“That smarmy dick — affectionate,” Gabe pretends to assure Rowena that the insult is meant with the best of intentions, “deserves the very best.” 

Rowena turns and sniffles into Gabe’s embrace.

There’s a lot of affection within their small group. Dean’s stopped questioning the fraternizing rule, though, because Meg does wonders for the tension in his neck and shoulders with her tiny little hands.

“I’m gonna hit the gym. Anybody wanna join? Dean-o?” Meg tosses her empty cup in the garbage before arching and stretching to make her spine pop and crack.

Part of his recovery from addiction and his injuries is structured and supervised exercises. It’s done nothing for his persistent hard-on, but it helps with boredom, anger, and the satisfaction of succeeding at something, even if it’s not much.

Dean turns his back on Gabe and Rowena’s canoodling. “Sounds good. What time?”

“Ten?” Meg claps her hands together enthusiastically. 

“Yep,” Dean answers, dumping his cup into the trash before they go their separate ways — Meg to the women’s sleeping quarters and Dean to the men’s.

It’s been 10 days since the fire. It feels like weeks to Dean. He read once that it takes 21 days to create a habit and 90 to make it stick. He always thought that seemed arbitrary, but he’s starting to believe it because his day-to-day here is quickly becoming routine.  

When he gets to his room, he finds Jack in bed with Red Hood Arsenal Vol. 1, covered in candy wrappers.

Dean arches a brow as he yanks his drawer open. “You ever get outta bed this mornin’?”

“Not really feeling social today,” Jack murmurs, gnawing on a piece of chocolate and nougat. 

Dean digs around for a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt for the gym. “Well, ya should eat somethin’ real before they close the kitchen.”

He shoves the drawer closed before turning to face his roommate.

Jack keeps his eyes on his comic as he replies. “You’ve only been wearing that sign for a day. Have you already forgotten my eating habits are none of your business?”

Dean drops his eyes to the sign around his neck as he tongues the back of his teeth before roughly grinding them.

“Nope. Haven’t forgotten.” His stomach tightens and flips, and his face starts to heat. “Ya know... I just-”

“Still none of your business.”

Jack’s tone, assertive nature, and blunt words make Dean tense. He wants to yell. Yelling relieves tension for him. Punching things also relieves tension, so Dean decides to keep his mouth shut and get dressed to work out, even if he can only punch with one fist right now.

He passes Billie’s office on his way to the gym. Her door’s open, so he pokes his head inside. “Hey.”

She silently and expectantly looks up from her desk, pen frozen in her hand.

“Just...” Dean juts a thumb over his shoulder as he steps fully into the doorway. “Headed to the gym. Thought I’d say hi.”

Billie raises her eyebrows and chin before nodding. “Well, hi.”

Her less-than-enthused response further agitates him. “Man, I’m just pissin’ everybody off today,” he mutters.

“You’re not pissing me off.” Billie carefully sets her pen aside before pushing her chair away from her desk. “Come in, Dean.”

Dean walks inside, feeling rejected. It’s uncomplicated when he thinks about the reality of the last 15 minutes. These people are practically strangers, Jack’s a 17-year-old kid, and Billie’s a fucking shrink so he shouldn’t give a shit what they think. Yet these perceived slights would’ve sent him straight to a bottle of pills or whiskey and searching for pussy outside these walls.

“Your door was open. I just thought I’d say hi instead of just walkin’ by like you don’t exist.” He walks over to her designated visiting area and takes a seat.

“And that’s very kind of you.” Billie settles in one of her chairs across from him.

“So then why’re you just like ‘hi???’ like I’m annoying you,” he asks.

He fully realizes that he sounds like he’s trying to start a fight, but he does nothing to dial it back.

“You’re not annoying me. I wanted to be sure you didn’t need something first.” She pauses. “Did something happen with Jack or Meg?”

Dean shrugs. “Jack acted like I tried to set his stuffed dragon on fire when I reminded him the kitchen was about to close.”

She isn’t making notes right now, which relieves Dean. “Can you expand on that?” 

“Well, he brought up my stupid-ass sign.” He flicks the sign making it flop against his chest ineffectually.

Billie nods, appearing to also curb a smile of amusement, which lightens his shit mood for some reason. “That’s what the sign’s for, Dean.”

He scoffs. “To repeatedly remind me that I’m a pain in the ass?”

Billie narrows her eyes and sighs. “No. The signs serve many purposes, none of which are to remind you that you’re a pain in the ass. They help maintain boundaries and remind everyone to focus on themselves and their own recovery.”

Dean chews the inside of his cheek. “So, if the 17-year-old kid I’m rooming with starves to death, I’m just supposed to keep my eyes on my own prize.”

He’s being dramatic. He knows he’s being dramatic. It’s a great outlet, though, with the absence of his other sorely missed vices.

“First of all,” Billie begins to count her retorts on her fingers, “Jack isn’t going to starve to death-”

“I’ve never seen him eat anything but candy!” Dean cuts her off with exasperation.

“Dean.” Billie drops her hands in her lap.

“Sorry.”

Expressing his frustrations and regrets isn’t something he’s comfortable doing because he never learned to do it any other way than physically fighting, fucking, or getting wasted. That’s not BIllie’s fault; it’s just facts.

Billie calmly begins again. “He will not starve. Nor will he learn to feed and care for himself adequately if we don’t let him figure that out on his own.”

Dean sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “Can’t save everybody,” he mutters.

“Correct,” Billie answers. “What else?”

“I need to focus on my own recovery.”

“Yes.”

He brings his gaze back to hers. “Sorry for...” He waves his hand in the air as an explanation. “Barging in, whining...”

“No apologies necessary. You aren’t whining, you have questions. Bucking the system demonstrates healthy curiosity.” Billie peers at him above the tent of her fingers. “You know, some might assume, as a Marine Corps veteran raised by a Marine Corps veteran that you’d follow orders without a second thought. But you don’t.” 

Dean stares back quietly. He and Billie have made progress. He trusts her to do what she says she’s there to do. The problem right now is she’s probing a scab he isn’t willing to expose.

“Well, I got people who look to me for answers — my team, my kid.”

Billie nods. “Yes. And you’ve amassed a group of people here who also see you as a leader, and as a natural leader, it’s important to be mindful of your intentions and of the impression you leave on others.”

“When you say it like that, I feel like a fuckin’ asshole.”

Billie shakes her head. “You’re not an asshole. Go to the gym.” She motions to his outfit as she stands. “During our scheduled session this afternoon, we can talk more about that.”

As he gets up and walks to the door, Dean’s chest feels heavy even as his heart spits and sputters.

The gym doesn’t help clear his mind or calm his anxiety. He’s stuck in the spiral of memories from his last argument with John. 

“I’ve been back for five days, Dad, can I just get my bearings before you start-”

“Your brother is leaving, and you won’t lift a finger to stop it. All you’ve done is whine about how you’re gonna miss him when he leaves!”

“He got a full ride.”

“And you’re gonna what, help him pack?! Came back from that war as mindless and obedient as an attack dog — good soldier and nothin’ else.”

That’s fucking rich, coming from John, who only ever treated Dean like a soldier. Dean learned so much more about life and relationships over there than John ever taught him.

“That’s not true.”

“No? What else ya got, then, kid? Your car? That’s mine. Your favorite leather jacket? Mine. Your music? Mine.”

John’s ever-panning searchlight of fury has all but lost Sam and is fully focused on Dean. While Dean doesn’t love being under his dad’s scrutiny, he hopes that his presence buys Sam a few more minutes to get his shit together and get out.

“Your entire fuckin’ personality is me and that kid brother of yours.”

Dean’s slumped against the living room wall with his dad looming over him, red-faced, sweating, and spitting rage.

“You’re fuckin’ obsessed with keeping us here. Sam was built for somethin’ better-”

“I’m obsessed?” John rapidly blinks, clutching his left arm. “How the fuck did you handle not havin’ little Sammy on your heels in Afghanistan? You got nothin’ outside of this family, and you know it.”

“You’re fuckin’ drunk and high.” Dean shakes his head and pushes away from the wall. “You need to sit down.”

“Listen here, you ungrateful little shit-”

“Yell all you want, I’m still leaving!” Sam strides into the living room, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.

Dean takes a step forward, and John takes a step back.

“All that shit you dumped on me about protecting Sam? That was your shit.” He pokes a finger into John’s chest. “You’re the one who couldn’t protect your family, and now that we’re adults with our own fucking lives, you can’t handle it.”

“Keep talkin’, asshole.” John is panting heavily, and his face is turning darker red. “You think you know what it’s like to raise a kid-”

“Yeah! I do!” Dean walks John right back to the couch where John drops to sit. “You were never fucking here for Sam, I always was. All you ever did was train me, boss me around — Daddy’s blunt little instrument — I was never your kid.” 

“Oh, please...” John groans, his words slurring as he squeezes his arm harder and he drops his chin to his chest.

“But Sam... Sam you doted on. And now he’s leaving. Talk about what’re you gonna do now, huh? What’re you gonna do, John?”

“Dean...” Sam’s voice is hollow.

“Geez, what happened to you between finally gettin’ rid of that cranky old queen and now?” Meg asks.

Dean breathes and grits his teeth as he mentally counts his wall push-ups. “It’s a whole thing.”

He doesn’t want to get into John with Meg. Not right now. The thought of getting into his history with his dad at all makes him feel like jumping out the window.

Meg furrows her brow and nods. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

Dean shoots her a look, thinking she’s teasing him. What he finds when he really takes her in, though, is so raw and delicate that he can barely stand to look at her. 

“Yeah, I’m my own worst nightmare.” He completes his wall exercises and eases to the floor for the rest.

“Don’t do that,” Meg says. She stands over him with her hands on her hips.

Dean tosses his hands in the air in surrender. “I’m kidding. OK?” He starts his hip stretches and the pain carries a signal of satisfaction and success to his brain.

“No, you aren’t.”

Dean groans at the stretch. “What’s with you? This is our thing. The self-deprecation thing.”

Meg sighs and drops to the floor beside him to do some of her own exercises. “Dean, you’re one of our 2.1.”

Dean shakes his head. “What?”

“I did the math; three-tenths of seven is 2.1.”

Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes so hard they take his whole body with them. “Are we including Crowley in that seven?” He goes back to carefully lifting and stretching his hips.

“Yeah... better odds for the rest of us that way.” Meg twists her spine so she’s facing Dean with her knees pointing in the opposite direction.

Dean snorts, and Meg chuckles as they watch each other try to get better.

Then her face softens as well as her voice. “You’re gonna make it, Dean. Because you’re a fuckin’ badass.” 

Dean swallows back a lump from trying to form in his throat. 

“You’re here because of a blip.” She rolls her watery eyes. “You are better than this. You’ll come out on the other side stronger because you’re already so strong.”

Dean draws a shallow, shaking breath. “And what about you?” He’s almost afraid to ask, but she doesn’t disappoint.

Meg smirks. “I figured out one thing about this world — just one.” She twists back to lie flat on her back, looking up at the ceiling as she pulls each knee into her chest. “You find a cause, and you serve it. Give yourself over, and it orders your life.”

Dean nods, rolling to his side. “Sex work and heroin didn’t give you the kinda order you wanted?”

Meg chuckles and switches knees. “At one time, my pimp’s mission was it for me. But things change, right? We learn, we grow... Now?” She turns her head to look at him again. “My cause is getting sober.”

Dean purses his lips. “So you and I’re the lucky two?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

He wishes her insistence that he’s so strong made him feel that way. Instead, he feels like there’s a light shining on his weaknesses. If there was a way for him to be all the good things people claim to know about him and nothing else, maybe he could finally stop hearing his dead dad’s voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he’s worthless. 

“We’ve been here for over an hour.” Meg sighs then rolls away from him, to her side, and up onto her hands and knees. “Let’s go eat and chain-smoke before group.”

She hops to her feet before reaching out a hand to help Dean up. He smiles softly before accepting her offer.

“Do you feel akin to Jack?” Billie asks.

It’s their scheduled session in the afternoon. Dean is exhausted. There’s so much talking and listening and correcting — yourself and others.

“I’m old enough to be the kid’s dad, so I guess? Things’re different than they used to be.” Dean shrugs.

“For who?”

Dean drops his head to the back of the chair and sighs. 

“You’ve had a long day, I know,” Billie says, and Dean rolls his head to the side and peeks at her with one eye. 

“Therapy and recovery aren’t quick and easy.” Billie shakes her head. “If they were, everybody’d do it. Right?”

Dean snorts. “I guess.” He sighs again, this time much less dramatically, then sits up straight in his chair. He clears his throat before moving forward with what he knows he has to talk about.

“Sometimes… we didn’t have what we needed— Sam and I— because Dad was... whatever and wherever, and I did things. For people.”

Billie nods.

Dean is surprised to find her unsurprised by his confession. He thought his juvenile records would be sealed no matter what. Maybe she just knows because she’s a brain doctor.

“I wasn’t a hooker.” 

“OK.”

“I just did what I had to do.”

“I understand.”

“Like the time I stole bread and peanut butter from the 7-Eleven and got thrown into a boys’ home.”

Billie nods.

“And the time I let the PTA president suck my dick for dinner five nights a week for Sam and me.”

Billie narrows her eyes slightly, still listening, still not taking notes.

“Or an extra hundred in cash for clothes for the kid who grew outta mine the second he turned 16 just to let the guy on the corner watch me eat out his wife.”

Dean wipes at his nose and then looks out Billie’s windows. 

“Thank you for telling me, Dean.”

Dean nods and swings his gaze back to Billie. “It’s just... Meg says I’m this badass, gonna pass outta here with flying colors, and Jack... thinks I’m a nag.”

Billie bobs and shakes her head. “No one’s just one thing.”

“Are we having the ‘not everyone is thinking about you all the time’ conversation?”

Billie smiles. “While you were your little brother’s hero, you were someone else’s prey.”

Dean’s jaw tightens, and he looks out the windows again. 

“While your daughter sat broken-hearted on one side of town, you single-handedly carried Cyrus Styne to safety.”

Dean closes his eyes and lets a tear roll down his cheek. “So what’s in between?”

“It’s not about other people’s perceptions.”

Before looking back at her, Dean drags his hand over his face. “Then what’s it about?”

“You had to eat and care for your brother, right?”

Dean nods. “Yeah.”

“What about Emma?”

Dean flicks his gaze up to Billie’s. 

“Do you see a likeness between Emma and the teenage boy you saved from her high school?”

Dean smirks. “Besides the fact that was her high school?”

Billie smiles and nods. “Besides that.”

“You think I’m avoiding her.”

Billie tilts her head. “Are you?”

“Dean. Hi. How are you?”

“Hey, Lydia. I’m... OK. Is Em around? She blocked me on her phone. I really need to talk to her.”

Lydia is quiet on the other end of the line for a beat. “Just a minute, OK?”

Dean watches the clock on the wall above the phone tick by almost a full 60 seconds before Lydia’s phone is unmuted. There’s a bit of muffled shuffling at first, then...

“Hi, Daddy.”

Chapter 8 

Please let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

MJ’s Masterlist

[canonicallysoulmates]

Jensen and JDM Main Panel NJCon 2023

Jeffrey does the beginning of the panel jump with Jensen! As a bonus treat, there was a video posted on twitter of Jensen coaching Jeffrey on how to do the jump: 💌

What is their favorite backstage memory from one of the cons? For JDM it’s when he spilled the beans and ended up telling everyone he was having a daughter. For Jensen, he says, he’ll never forget the moment at the last comic-con they did for SPN, before he and Jared walked out to a crowd of 7k people he turned to Jared and told him to take it in cause that was it and they went out there and put their arms around each other and he thinks they both got a little emotional. It’s a moment he’ll never forget and he’s glad he took that moment cause usually you walk out and sit down and they announce the other person but he walked out and stood there waiting for Jared to join him and it was pretty memorable. Aww, Jensen 😭

And JDM, actually, watched the boys last SPN comic-con panel backstage because there was a live feed of the panel in the green room.  x

The next fan shows some love for John saying he did the best he could with the tools he had, and the only reason I bring it up is that I love how much JDM loves the character of John. And, once again, Jensen is asked about that project that he had teased. He says he’s still waiting to be able to say something about it and that he got in trouble in the last con for saying something so he’s gonna keep his mouth shut. That it’s not hard to figure out but as soon as he’s allowed to talk about it he will and he can’t wait to share it. It’s all good things and there’s supposed to be an official press release but he doesn’t control that, and he was hoping he’d be able to talk about something today but no. He’ll let us know when he can. x

What is an important milestone in their career that they feel helped push them forward? Jensen says that much like all of us there’s a series of forks in the road that we have either chosen where to go or the path has been chosen for us, that when he was in High School, he would eat, drink, sleep baseball for like 3 years. Then in his senior year- he had been doing drama as an elective but his extracurriculars was sports - his drama teacher went and spoke to his baseball coach and told him that they knew they were in season and it was playoffs but they wanted Jensen to try out for the Spring musical. And Jensen only knows about that conversation because his coach told him about it, and at first Jensen was like ‘but we have playoffs’ and his coach was really encouraging, he let him know in a very nice way that he was a good ball player but he wasn’t getting scouted, he wasn’t gonna get a college scholarship from playing and told him that he’s only in High School once so he should try to get as much out of it as he could and promised he’d be in the front row, and for a Texan coach in the 90’s that was not heard of; so Jensen did the play and there happened to be a talent scout there who watched it and afterward went up to Jensen and told him he should go to LA cause he could have a future in this and Jensen told them to take a hike but they went and talked to Jensen’s parents and his parents told him that if he wanted to give it a shot to do it so he thought about it for a few months and went to LA instead of going to college. That was a moment in his life that changed his direction. And for those curious, the play was West Side Story and he played Tony. 

He says he had never sang in his life in front of anybody, he was terrified, and the girl who played Maria, she was like an all state soloist choir person who could sing like Adele but she hadn’t done theater so she was nervous about the acting part, he was nervous about he singing part so they helped each other out. And his whole baseball team was in the first two rows shocked, and when he noticed them he thought there was no turning back he would get beat up after that but instead they all went up to him and very awkwardly said that he was good. 

Jeffrey says he doesn’t have anything that compares to that story but for him in all honesty it was the year he did both SPN and Grey’s Anatomy. He had been working for 20yrs doing pilots and guest star spots trying to keep a roof over his head and get a foot through the door but it really wasn’t until SPN and Grey’s Anatomy that he got to do that and it thankfully hasn’t stopped. 

Jensen mentions that they both know people who are greatly talented and never got the opportunity, and he thinks success in this industry is largely being in the right place at the right time. JDM says he knows people who are his age who still haven’t got that break and are pounding the pavement, hoping and praying, and it’s hard. Jensen comments that he thinks it’s harder now to get in that back when they were younger because now, especially with covid everything has gone remote so you don't have to live in Hollywood anymore to get into the industry. 

They both say they wouldn’t even know how to find an agent nowadays; it’s all zoom, you don't get into a room and read for people face to face like they used to have to do. JDM says that was the worst, that he was horrible at it, that he would lie and tell stories trying to charm them before his reading. Jensen adds that you would try to charm because that would usually get you if not that role then another role in the project. Jeffrey also says some people are really good at auditioning and then you put them on a set and they can’t act their way out of a paper bag and some of them are still working today. Jensen says they’ve worked with a few of them 👀

What was Jensen’s favorite thing about the Soldier Boy suit? Jeffrey immediately says codpiece at the same time that Jensen goes to say it 😂 

Jensen shares that, no word of a lie, he had to fly to LA 6 different times for them to build that costume for him and you just have to stand there like a mannequin cause those are costume-made suits that are worth a couple hundred thousand dollars and are works of art and that LJ, the designer, and her team are just incredible. But he remembers JDM texting him one time when he was at one of his fittings and he replied that he couldn’t talk because he was in a Soldier Boy fitting and JDM immediately replied saying he needed a picture of the codpiece, and Jensen was like ‘I’m glad you asked that cause they're asking me to pick it right now’ and he had some lined up and he sent JDM the picture asking which one. Jeffrey told him to go with the biggest one but LJ told him no. 

There were so many parts he didn’t like about the suit, probably more than he did like, but his honest answer would be the boots because they were the same boots Dean wore for 15yrs. LJ had told him they were doing a military-style boot and she sent him a few options to his house in Austin, he noticed they were very similar to the ones Dean wore so he messaged her and let her know those could work but that he knew of a company that makes a boot that he’s never gotten sick off in 15yrs and that he knows he can stay on his feet for 14hrs a day and his feet won’t hurt at the end of it, she asked what they were, he told her they’re called Carolina’s and she told him that’s what they would get so he loves that because of the connection there. 

Jeffrey asks him if he could go to the bathroom in the suit, Jensen answers that he could and that was a conversation that was had, some of the suits were not made with access panels luckily his did, it went together like pants it was a top and a bottom and it would zip together and then there would be the big utility belt, he says there’s a whole group of people it takes to get out of that thing and like the chest piece is solid so he couldn’t really move, he was doing fight scenes feeling like an idiot but it looked cool. x

Back in 2020, Jensen told a story at Vegascon about a fan he met called Kirby from South Carolina the reason I’m bringing it up is because the next fan tries to make a joke about it by introducing themselves as Kirby from South Carolina but Jensen doesn’t remember this story at all and there’s even the implication that he might have just made it all up but Jensen then says he doesn’t lie *snort* suuuure. Could he have forgotten this crazy story he told? 100%. Do I think him capable of making up a funny story just for shits and giggles? Also, 100%. 

Back to the question, if Jensen had to do a booze and cheap tattoos collab what would he pick to represent his new Radio Company album? He replies that he luckily has both those answers sitting next to him. He would pick JDM’s smoky rye whiskey, and a couple of thumb tattoos that they got done very quickly and cheaply. So cheaply that they did not pay for them, they got them for free, he and Jeffrey tell the story about how they were on their scooters looking for a tattoo shop and Jeffrey told him they had to recognize them or they would bail it so they go into the first one and the guy behind the desk asked if he could help them, and they told him they wanted to get a couple small, quick tattoos and the guy replied he could fit them in about an hour so they walked out the door and went to the next shop. In the next one when they walked in the owner, who was doing a big leg piece, saw them and went ‘holy shit! get out of my chair!’ so they knew that was the place and they didn’t know what they were going to get, Jeffrey was thinking of getting like 70 on each finger, and Jensen was so ready to go and then went ‘well, maybe just one’. Also, the guy was like ‘I can’t believe it I'm tattooing Negan and Soldier Boy’ so it wasn't even from SPN that they got recognized from 😂

The next fan has a statement and a question, they would like them to please let Kripke know they want him at a con. Jensen says that he would be either really good or really boring because he’s so careful about what comes out of his mouth so he might just say no comment to everything or if he was able to he could give the dissected version of every question and answer, that it would be awesome. Jensen says that attending a con has actually been on Kripke’s radar, he has commented to Jensen that he’s interested in it but he’s so busy that things would have to slow down in his world for that to happen and Jensen hopes it does for Kripke’s sake. JDM asks if there’s only one more year of The Boys to which Jensen replies that there are a lot of rumors but nothing official and that he hopes Kripke gets a break sometime soon and during that break, he gets to attend a con. 

And the question is, are there hopes for a tour in the future? No. Obviously, they were very thrilled with the success of the show, that it was incredibly nerve-wracking cause there were so many moving pieces to get that done. They had 13 people on that stage that night and just the thought of like their drummer calling the night before that they have a family emergency and having to bail like anything could have happened so Jensen was really nervous and he was putting a lot of pressure on himself and he remembers at the end of it Steve was like ‘pretty badass wasn’t it?’ and Jensen’s reply was that he never wanted to do that again but then after he settled down he was like ‘maybe we should talk about doing that again’ but touring might be aggressive. But anything’s on the table he would have to talk to his partner about that; JDM says he saw the concert online and then texted Jensen telling him it was really good, that he remembers the first con he ever did was in Vegas and that was the first time Jensen ever got up on stage and sang- he sounds like such a proud dad, it's so cute.

Jensen says the really shitty part of it was that they had to follow probably one of the best performances they’d ever seen out of Louden Swain. x

The next fan wants to let Jensen know that TW’s portrayal of John made them love the character and they hope it’s something they get to see more of in TW and SPN. Jensen says that he, Robbie, and Drake had an at-length conversation about what this John pre-Mary’s death would be like and they really wanted to make him a more approachable character because it would have been an obvious choice to make him the same, there’s no shift, and he thinks that’s a beautiful thing in storytelling when a character goes through something so traumatic that it changes them sometimes for good sometimes for bad. That it’s arguable whether John was changed for bad or good because he set out to do good even though it was a vengeful mission he was setting out to right a wrong because he had gotten wronged and his wife and his family had gotten wronged so he was setting out to right that wrong, now the debate is whether he did that the right way or the wrong way but nonetheless it changed John so he wanted there to be a different type of John in TW so we could see a glimpse prior to that and he thinks that Drake did a great job. x

What’s their favorite format to play in? Jeffrey says the one with the best writing. So probably not the 23 episodic series one because that’s really hard to keep up that level of writing, that lately there’s so much kinda good stuff out there, streaming has kind of changed the game but it also has kind of put a dent in the business because not everyone can be Netflix or Amazon so a lot of shows that we watch are in trouble right now because they don’t have the money because everybody gave up on commercial tv which is crazy; but you follow the best script. You get the best script, you get the best people to work with but as they’ve said a lot of it is luck you don't know half the time if it’s good.

He mentions the SPN pilot and Jensen says the Pilot was good writing and that it still holds up today, and Jeffrey says he knew SPN was good when he saw the soundtrack was in the script. Jeffrey, once again with the honesty, adds that there are also good scripts that get screwed up. So he does like more streaming and a condensed season he thinks it’s easier to keep the quality level. 

Jensen answers that he tends to gravitate towards tv over film because with film it’s all there, the beginning, the middle and the end, but with a series it’s a journey and you don’t know where that journey is going to go for the character, the story, or the relationships, and he tends to enjoy that more. JDM mentions that he also thinks they’re not making the quality of movies they were 20yrs ago and the best writing, directing and acting is on television. 

Jensen adds that doing a 23-episode network tv show is a grind but with as much as they were doing they did turn out some really great stuff and he thinks that's a testament to the people involved in the show, that they were really invested and loved the show, that being said he’s also done daytime soaps which was brutal, his record is 24 pages of dialogue in one day. This makes them share a mini story about how one time when Jeffrey was filming both SPN and Grey’s Anatomy he had gotten off a 14hr day at Grey’s, hopped on a plane, and got straight to work on SPN so his brain was mush so the way around that was to put his dialogue on post-it notes and stick them everywhere including the boys, they had Jeffrey’s dialogue on post-it notes on their chest 😂

Jensen says that if he had his choice he would do a half hour multicam because schedule wise it is unbelievable, when he thinks about Friends they worked 8hrs a week, three weeks on one week off, they were making a million per episode- that one of his first gigs was a multi cam half hour, JDM says it was the same for him that he did a half hour with Jason Bateman called Black Sheep and he played Joey and he tested for Joey from Friends but he didn’t get it and he’s still mad about it. 

Jensen continues and says that it’s also like doing live theater, every week you get an audience of 200-250 people, on a small soundstage and you put on a show for them for 2-3 hours, it’s great energy and you’re workshopping the material all week at a difference when you do a series you block a scene, you might run it one time then go to camera.  He thinks guys like he and JDM, you can pretty much throw them at any situation and they’ll be alright cause they’ve been doing it for so long they'll figure it out but multi-cam that’s where it’s at but they don’t make as much of those shows anymore. x

If they played pro baseball what would their walkup song be? Jensen says it’d be the theme song that used to play in his high school games which is the theme song from The Natural which is a baseball movie. Apologies to Jensen cause I’ve never seen it. Also, there’s a hilarious moment where Jensen does a bit of the melody and Jeffrey just goes “the theme from Star Wars?” 🤣

It is time for the last question and Jeffrey is very confused and surprised about the last question process. 

What are their favorite karaoke songs? JDM has never done karaoke before and he wants to say Jensen has asked him to before and he’s said goodnight. Jensen hasn’t done karaoke in quite some time and he meant to say he’ll never forget but instead, he said he’ll always forget 😂

Anyways, what he was trying to share is that when he was shooting Dawson’s Creek they went to a little karaoke place and he was just getting to know the cast, they didn’t him that well and it was his first time hanging out with them, and he was playing pool and somebody asked if he was gonna do a song so he reluctantly went up thinking it was either going to go horribly wrong and they would laugh him off the stage or he’d do something different and he sang El Paso by Marty Robbins. x

Jensen and JDM Main Panel NJCon 2023

[eisforeidolon]

Question: Are there any important milestones or successes in your career or even life that you felt really helped push you forward or put you on the right track and what they are? It's a weird question, but I couldn't come up with anything else.

JDM: Solid question.

Jensen: I'll tell you one, give him time to think.

JDM: It's a girl!

Jensen: That bit's got legs. It's got legs. Look, I think he, much like all of us, are in a bit of a series of forks in the road and we have either chosen which way to go or the path has been chosen for us. I was talking about this at dinner last night. When I was in high school, I was like eat, drink, sleep, baseball for, like, three years. And finally my senior year, the drama department teacher comes and I'd been doing drama as an elective during school, but then all extracurricular stuff was sports. And so the teacher comes to my baseball coach and says, 'Hey, I know it's in season right now, and playoffs are coming up, but I really want one of your players to try out for - or to be in the spring musical. And coach is like, [incredulous voice] 'Who?' So it was me, and I only knew about that conversation cause I got called into the coach's office and he said, 'Hey, listen, I got, uh, had Ms. Kaiser come and talk to me and said she really wants you to do this spring musical, spring play. And I was like, 'Well, yeah, but coach, we have playoffs coming up'. He's like, 'I know. But you've given me about three solid years of good baseball.' He said this, not so bluntly, but in an actually nice way, but he's like 'You're not good enough, you're not getting scouted by any - you're not gonna get a ride to college, and you're probably not going pro. He's like, but you're a good ball player, that said -

JDM: You're really good looking.

Jensen: [laughs] He says, 'You're only in high school once. You should try to get as much out of it as you possibly can. Go give this a shot, I promise we'll be sitting front row.' And for a Texas coach, back and this was in the 90s? That was not heard of. So I went and I did the play, and there happened to be a talent scout that came and watched the play. Came up to me afterwards and said, 'I think you got it, kid. Think you should move to LA.' And I was like, 'Yeah, take a hike.' But he went and talked to my dad and my mom and told them and they said, 'Well, if you want to give it a shot, give it a shot.' And so I thought about it for a few months and instead of going to college, I went to LA. Never turned back. That was certainly a moment in my life that really kind of changed its direction.

Question: What was the part?

Jensen: Tony in West Side Story.

JDM: [sings] Maria.

Jensen: That was it, and I'd never sang in my life in front of anybody. I was terrified. And they put me - the girl who played Maria, her name was Kendra Ware, Kendra, if you're out there somewhere I hope you're well. And she was like a all state soloist choir person. Like could sing like Adele, and here I am, never sang in my life. But she hadn't done theater. So she was nervous about the acting parts, and I was nervous about the singing parts, so we helped each other out.

JDM: Nice.

Jensen: But first solo, I come out and it's that song [sings a few lines] there's this part of the scene at the front of the stage [sings a little more] and just the front two rows are my whole baseball team going like this [mimes staring upwards, mouth open]. I was like, well, there's no turning back now. I'm either gonna get beat up after this - but I didn't, they all came up and very awkwardly said [slaps JDM on the arm, mimes looking everywhere but directly at him], 'That was good, man.' [laughs] And that was that.

JDM: That's a good story. I like that story. I don't have anything that compares to that. No baseball team or nice people. No coach told me you can't do this anymore. You know what, for me, in all honesty, it was that year that I was doing Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy. It just changed - yeah, and I've told the story a million fuckin' times, but that's the truth. That's when it all kinda happened. I'd been kicking around for twenty years, doing pilots that didn't get picked up and [Fan: Sliders!] Sliders, thank you, woo Sliders. Guest star spots, Sliders. Anything to keep a roof over my head, just trying to keep a foot in the door, but it really wasn't until Grey's Anatomy and Supernatural same time. And thankfully, I haven't stopped, it's been going since then, which is, that's seventeen years ago now.

Jensen: It's been a good ride.

JDM: It's been a decent ride, and no really huge complaints.

Jensen: And there's a lot of folks, and he knows a lot and I know a lot that were grinding it out back in the day in the early two thousands just trying to get a foot in that door, been trying - greatly talented people -

JDM: Hugely talented people.

Jensen: And just couldn't - never cracked the code or just never was at the right place at the right time. I think it's largely that, too, success in this industry is really largely being at the right place at the right time and it's been really good to us, man.

JDM: I know people that are my age and still haven't got that break, that are still out there pounding the pavement, and hoping and praying. Man, it's rough. It's hard.

Jensen: It's harder now, I think -

JDM: I think way harder now.

Jensen: to get in than it was when we were. Because now, especially with COVID, everything has gone remote. So you don't have to live in Hollywood anymore to get into the industry. He and I -

JDM: I mean, I don't even know how to get an agent or anything these days. I don't even know how that works. No, no, it used to be -

Jensen: I wouldn't know how - don't ask us for advice!

JDM: How do you get in today? It's so different now that I wouldn't know what to say.

Jensen: But we did it on Supernatural we'd get a guest star to come in and be like, 'Oh are you local or did you come up from LA?' 'No, I'm from Cleveland'. Like [throws one hand up].

JDM: Really?

Jensen: Yeah, sent in a tape, got the call back and then they sent them. Especially now, it's all Zooms it's all tests - you don't go into a room and reading for people face to face, the way he and I did. Man, auditioning was the worst.

JDM: Horrible. I was horrible at it.

Jensen: It's the worst.

JDM: It's a rough way to go. So you'd just spin yarns. I would just lie and tell stories in the room. Trying to get people to like me, because I hated the auditions. Everybody does the same fuckin' audition, there's -

Jensen: Yeah, try to charm the pants off in the first few seconds before they want you to read.

JDM: That's it.

Jensen: And that usually will get you, if not that role, another role in the project.

JDM: That's right. And then some people are really good at auditioning? And then you put them on a set? And they can't act their way out of a paper bag.

Jensen: Oh yeah.

JDM: Some of them are still working today. [Jensen cracks up] I'm not gonna name any names.

Jensen: And we've worked with a few of them. [someone in the audience brings up Misha] Yeah, is Misha still here?

JDM: That's horrible! I think he's still on his jog(?). [both laughing]

[missmisdemeanor]

Happy DFF! Dean eats burgers, Sam eats salads. Dean only runs when being chased, Sam goes jogging. Where does John fall in terms of fitness/athleticism? Does he rely on technique (or weapons) to end fights quickly? Does he do stretches in the morning? (JDM's tummy 😍) Take drugs/stimulants? Does Dean get rock hard when seemingly "old dog" John throws a 200 lb monster off Dean's sweet prone body?

John is more like Dean than Sam, in my head. Most of his strength training happens on the job. He practices fighting, shooting, and knife skills but not so much just running or weightlifting. It's my personal headcanon that John (and late teens/adult Dean) take whatever they find drug-wise in houses they run through. John has a particular penchant for sleeping pills because of his PTSD and insomnia, and Dean likes painkillers.

And yes, Dean gets horny being rescued. He'd never admit it, but John connects the dots after the third or fourth particularly energetic night.

[amiwritesthings]

Ooooohhhhhh JDM and Jensen, 23!

💜

aaaaah, thank you!!! have some schmoopy fluff

Jeff wakes to the smell of bacon and an empty bed. No dog. No Jensen. He drags himself out of bed, makes his back pop with a big stretch and follows the smell downstairs. Jensen is at the stove, looking adorable in nothing but his boxers and Jeff's Kiss the Cook apron that he always makes fun of.

"Hey," Jeff says, voice still sleep-rough, as he winds his arms around Jensen's body, nuzzles into his neck. "Mmh, morning," Jensen replies as he flips the bacon sizzling in the skillet. "Coffee's about done." Jeff hums in reply, mouthes lazily at the side of Jensen's neck until Jensen drops the spatula and leans back into him.

The only thing stopping him from taking it any further is the dog impatiently pushing its nose into the hollow of his knee. He drops a kiss behind Jensen's ear, then pulls away to bend down and cuddle the dog good morning. He can feel Jensen's eyes on him as he coos sweet nothings and gives belly-rubs.

"I've gotta go in a little while, and I need to take a shower before I go. Can't show up smelling like this," Jensen says as he plates eggs and bacon, fills a mug with coffee and sets it all down at the island.

It's only as he rises that Jeff realizes there's only one plate of breakfast sitting there. "You gotta go right now?"

Jensen sidles up to him, sans apron, leans up to steal a kiss, and Jeff pulls him in flush just to get that sharp intake of breath, the nip to his lip, before Jensen pulls away. "Have your breakfast, I'm gonna go jump into the shower real quick."

Jeff hangs on to Jensen's hand, says, "I could join you," and Jensen laughs, lets himself be reeled in for another kiss. "Eat your breakfast," he murmurs against Jeff's mouth before extricating himself out of his embrace.

Jeff watches him go, then settles at the island, digging into his breakfast, dog at his feet. Upstairs, the shower starts up, and Jeff entertains himself with mental image of Jensen naked in his shower.

He leaves the dishes in the sink, then opens the french doors to let the dog out, and settles in the deck chair on the patio with his coffee mug and a cigarette, enjoying the morning sun on his face.

"Living your best life, I see."

Jeff blinks open his eyes, looks up at Jensen, looking all handsome in slacks and a dress shirt. "You smell good, sweetheart," he says and Jensen offers him a smile, angles Jeff's head up with a hand in his hair for a kiss before he playfully shoves him back into the deck chair.

"I smell like you. I gotta go now, I'll see you tonight?" Jensen says and Jeff hums in reply, lets his eyes rove over Jensen's body, the nice fit of his pants, the way his shirt stretches enticingly over the breadth of his shoulders. Jensen is halfway back inside when Jeff whips around in his chair. "Wait… is that my shirt?"

Jensen throws his head back on a laugh, stops just long enough to say, "You mind? I swear you'll get it back. Might even let you strip me out of it tonight." Jeff sinks back into his chair with groan at the tease, Jensen's laughter echoing through his house all the way to the front door.

send me a number and a ship and I'll write a drabble (all the usual pairings are a go)

[ketavinsky]

miss you dad miss you best friend from evangelical school miss your warm shoulder i leant on miss your long hair miss the shine of the sun over the braid and how it gilded each stray strand miss talking shit about chapel before class with you miss pulling holes in your stockings miss the idea that i loved you in some harmless christian way miss playing ponies with you on your carpet - well you playing ponies and me playing hot wheels but we made it work until ten years flew past and you started getting up at the blue hour, 4am or maybe even 4:30 or 5 if it was a weekend, to jog yourself into the ground. miss the idea i could have helped you run from home miss our plans to run together hope you haven't wasted away. miss you dad. miss waiting for you looking out the bay window that wasn't a bay window but kind of seemed like one with the magnolias sprawled over it until the neighbours cut the magnolias down and mum was never the same after that. miss when mum still felt like mum. miss the fantasy that dad would come and sneak me out of the window and take me very far away from her, mostly because it could have been real i think, if we'd stayed in new zealand a little longer. miss new zealand or the distant dream of it. miss eating caramel slices on the cobwebbed concrete picnic area in the backyard miss the stone frog furred with lichen miss the trampoline i launched my friends off miss reading about fairy rings in the grass with my cat. miss my cat i miss you baby i shouldnt have let mum decide who took care of you when we went away you didn't deserve to die like that. miss you tabby kitty. miss feeling safe even when you clawed that scar into my thigh. miss feeling the scar in my thigh. miss you neighbours kids rocketing off the trampoline miss you boy racers tearing up the street miss you little kids with the boomboxes taped to your bikes miss you catcallers miss you lancer evo lads skyline lads gc8 lads wannabe jdm lads roping stolen furniture to the backs of the cars. miss the older kids i tried to learn to box with. miss you my almost-brothers. miss when things were different before we grew up and i learnt so many of you became predators. miss sitting on your shoulders miss taking the piss out of the idea of starting a boy band together because you were way into kpop miss your stupid shithead jokes about why you couldnt be fucked to go to pride miss your fucked self hatred. miss stealing cigarettes. miss stealing gum. miss feeling like a real rough n tumble kid with a bunch of bad friends. miss feeling armoured. miss my faith that we could be kings together. miss you best friend i was in love with. hope you're out of that shitty one bedroom apartment that smells like old oil all the time hope you're eating more than week old fried chicken nowadays so sorry we aren't close anymore. miss you house party prince wish i'd done more to help you when they told me your nose was bleeding all the time because of all the coke you did miss you so much wish i'd held you. wish i'd agreed to run pills with you if it kept you in my life a little longer. miss you best friend hope you found someone to wash your hair with warm water hope you're sober hope you can choke down a meal without being high for it wish you'd told me about it wish i could have helped. miss you best boy baby brother. miss being miserable with you miss holding you miss lending you my overpriced hypebeast jackets miss buying you overpriced icecreams miss blowing my budget on you baby boy anything to make you eat. hope you're eating now. hope you're sleeping soundly hope the shaking stopped. so sorry i couldn't stop what he did to you so sorry he was my friend too so sorry i didn't find out in time so sorry so sorry. miss the certainty i could be a martyr for you. miss feeling like i could suffer forever so long as my friends were happy miss my friends miss suffering for them. miss you worst friend ever miss your brutal smile miss feeling you dissect me every time you looked at me miss thinking up new ways to try and kiss you in a way that you'd like.

[forever-low]

Real JDM MEET by @gangstancecrew

[d4vynn]

Street racer au pt. 1

I've had enough of being a closeted car enthusiast and mcyt fan so take this totally accurate headcanon about which cars mcyts would drive(with images)

I'll write a full thing abt this later but i need this out of my system or i'll combust

...

Dreamwastaken, my man, my boy- he strikes me as a classic muscle car guy kinda guy, you cannot change my mind- but since I don't know anything about American cars let's just say Dream drives a mk 4 Supra, basic but fast and heavy because this man wants every jdm legend🙄

Sapnap would most definitely drive a Mustang simply because he screams teenage boy getting his first car. No hate to Mustang drivers, I love you guys to death but pls don't come near me I can't handle the smell of axe body spray

gogerton would probably drive a Porche 911. It was fast for its time but probably couldn't compete well in a twisty-turny type of race. He's probably building it as a show car

Awesamdude drives an old 1967 Camaro no doubt. mans would probably eat, sleep, and drink under the hood of his car mechanic cough cough

Ponk would drive a bmw e36, lower it until it is absolutely scraping on pebbles and leaves, and then come to Awesamdude to get it turbo'd

Badboyhalo... this man would either drive an electric scooter or a Prius. I'm sorry but this man will never street race

Skeppy obviously would drive a Lamborghini Huracan- the racing scene hates the rich boy /j

Tommyinnit, big man, big racer. He of course would want the fastest car right??? Honda Civic Type-R. ofc, this man will have that rgb underglow and sub-woofers that sound like the earth is splitting apart.

Tubbo would probably dabble in rally races so he'd drive a Mitsubishi Evo 10 with those big wheels that look like donuts

Ranboo would teleport in his is300

Technoblade would have an NSX which would only be fitting for this royal pig-dude

Philza needs to drive an fd rx7 bc i cannot have a street racer au without it.

or a minivan

Wilbur spook would drive an s15, bc he seems like a guy who'd also enjoy drifting

[murphslass]

Nervous Much? Pt. 3

> Pt.1 >> Pt.2 >>> Pt.4

Warnings: fluff, heavy kissing, teasing, plus sized!reader

“I’d love to.”

He says as you unlock your front door and lead him in. His hands stay in his pocket as he follows you toward the kitchen. He leaned against your countertop as you go to fish out the first aid kit.

“Why you getting that shit out?”

“Because, that creep got a few blows on you too. Especially with the lovely scratch on your forehead and your blistered knuckles.”

“C’mon now sweetheart, you really don’t have to do that.”

“No, you are a guest. Besides I thought you were a gentleman tonight.”

“You’re I did say that didn’t I? So I am at your disposal babycakes.”

You giggled as he bowed in your direction. You prepared your things and held Negan’s hand. Examing the small scars and a little blood you frowned. You stayed concentrated to make sure that he didn’t end up with any permanent marks.

“I’m warning this is pure alcohol and it’ll sting.”

“Whatever. I’m no pussy.”

He scoffed as you soaked a cotton ball in the solution. He then flinched at the touch and you couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.

“Ha. Ha. Go on keep laughing it up. But I can’t help it, this fucker hurt.”

“Don’t worry it’ll be fine big boy. Now I just have get the mark on your forehead before I get out the bandages.”

He nodded and let you continue. You groaned as you had to go onto your tip toes to reach his head and forget that he’s tall. Negan giggled and brought his hand to hip to keep you secure. You finished the cleaning him up and wrapped his knuckles in gauze and a bright red bandage on his forehead.

“There you go!”

“Well I appreciate it beautiful.”

He said as he flashed a toothy smile, you went pack everything back up and feel Negan’s body press against your back. He goes to kiss the area behind your ear and you moan as the sensation sends goosebumps down your body.

“Mmm! You are sweet as a fucking peach baby.”

“I need to put this away Negan, here I’ll also make a couple of drinks.”

You say as you laugh nervously and escape his hold. He just chuckles to himself as he leans against your counter. You saw him out of the corner of your eye as he keeps his eyes on you. Walking towards the liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle of Crown Royal and Malibu.

“Which one do you want?”

“Either or honestly depends. You drink it straight or use shooters?”

“Well I have juice and coke. I like them so I don’t get drunk fast.”

“Oh yeah! I love some coke. Let’s drink up baby.”

You loved his enthusiasm and go to pull glasses out. Negan walked towards you and saw you going to unscrew the cap of one of the bottles. His hand going on top of yours. You froze in your steps and felt his finger tips going up your arm. You could feel your body heating up and his hand moving onto your shoulder then your neck. You whimpered as he turned you to face him before kissing you. His lips moving against yours slowly so he can feel you. His hands guiding you to lean against the surface as he grew more hungry with his kisses. His hands grab onto your ass to pull you to sit on the counter. You gasped at how strong he was and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips. His soft tongue massaging yours and his hands pulling your thighs to his slender waist. You whimpered at his touch and you could feel his smile against your mouth. He reaches to bring your arms onto his neck. Your fingers go into his dark hair as he moaned into the kiss. You could yourself growing more needy for him. Slowly you made out for a few minutes and pulled away to breathe again.

“Fuck you taste good. Wonder what that sweet kitten tastes like.”

He said with a dark smirk as your face turned bright red. He just loved seeing you flustered.

“Do you have to have such a dirty mouth?”

“It’s how I express my love and it’s apart of my charm.”

He smiled and you couldn’t fight the grin on your face.

“Do you still want that drink?”

“Not really. But maybe we could move this to the bedroom?”

You nodded and laughed when lifted you in his arms. You just pointed him in the right direction and he happily kicked the door opened. He placed you onto the bed and you for once you felt confident.

“Before we really get into this baby, I really need to piss.”

“Oh the bathroom is right behind you.”

“Thanks sugar lips.”

He smiled as he walked away. You sat up to get comfortable and strip away your clothes. Soon you were left in your panties as you didn’t want to have hassle with your bra. As the door began opening you moved under the sheets. Negan appeared but without a shirt this time. He smirked and made his way to crawl on top of you.

“Hmm I wonder what you got hiding under here. Let Daddy have a look.”

He says as he hooks a singular finger on the top of the covers. At first you resisted but then he pulled hard to reveal you to him. Negan let out a low growl as he took you in.

“Holy shit princess. You’ve got a smokin’ hot body here. Can’t wait to eat you all up and have you screaming my name.”

You bit your lip as he dived in and by kissing on your neck and massaging on your breasts in his hand. You moan at the nice feeling and hold onto his shoulders. Your slipped shut and the bed felt so warm and comfortable.

Morning came quick as you woke to Negan spooning you. He was in his boxers and you couldn’t remember anything from last night. You shifted and sat up to try to remember something, but nothing came to mind.

“Morning sunshine.”

“Hey. Did we have sex? Because if we did then I can’t remember it.”

“Nah we didn’t. You actually fell asleep before we got things going.”

You covered your face and groaned loudly out of embarrassment.

“Oh my gosh! You gotta be kidding me. I’m so sorry Negan.”

“For what? You were tired. And I had to admit you’re cute when you sleep.”

You didn’t say much as Negan moved closed and gently ran his fingers down your back. You giggled at the tickling feeling and lean back to lay on his stomach.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be baby.”

“But I feel like I’m leading you on and-“

“Hush that bullshit. You’re not leading me on and besides if I thought that I wouldn’t be here. But I really fucking like you and I enjoyed our time together sweetheart.”

“So you think that we could try again?”

“I mean I won’t say no baby. But let’s do that later and just go back to sleep.”

You agree and go back into his warm embrace as he covered you both up.

Part 4 coming soon…smut

JDM TAGLIST:

@ffakc @negans-attagirl @jonasdean02 @eddiesgirl @littlebadgirly @cosmilla @iluvneganandjamie @little-bad-girly @ohyoubetterbejokin @bratty-dolly @jdmsgal

[littlefreya]

Kiss me in Slow Motion

Summary: The desert heat leaves you way too exhausted to do anything but lie down on your back while Syverson is free to do as he pleases.  Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (First-person POV)

Word count: 689

Warnings: Fluff, a little bit provoking but no smut.  

A/N: This is a request by an anon, which I really loved and was in a fluffy Sy mood!:3 Many thanks to @agniavateira my queen for being my beta. 

Please leave feedback  💖 and more importantly, enjoy.

Title: Kiss me in Slow Motion

The heat was unbearable during the late days of August. The arid desert sun brought no relief or any sign of the forthcoming end of summertime. Even the icy shower left me feeling sticky with sweat. 

Crawling onto his bed, I kicked the thin blanket away. Donned in one of Sy’s ratty tops and a pair of plain cotton underwear, I had no intentions of being sexy tonight. If Syverson had any ideas he was more than welcome to go ahead with me just lying embolized.

The captain entered his chamber with Aika close behind. His eyes were puffy with exhaustion; the burly captain slept fewer hours than I did. Even though he had the stamina of a bull, the Iraqi weather defeated him just as it destroyed me.

“What are ya up to, kitten?” he asked, pulling his shirt over his head and exposing his muscular body. Glowing golden and warm in the red sunset, every sinew was perfection, webbed into an impressive statue of a man. 

My body yearned for his weight like flowers coveted water. 

Resting the back of my hand over my head, I watched as Syverson scratched Aika behind the ear and placed a bowl of food for her in the corner of the room. The dog immediately munched on the food while the large man made his way to me. His movements made the bed creak and shift as he took his spot between the wall and my body. Warm and callous, he slipped his hand under my shirt, finding my breasts and squeezing them possessively. He placed a kiss on my neck and hummed.

“I’m so exhausted.” I moaned, my body willingly pressing into his loving touch. “This heat, it’s killing me. I’m too tired to even fuck.”

Sy let out a dry chuckle. He suddenly pulled the shirt over my head without asking, exposing my naked body to the dim light of the room. He captured my mouth between his lips, teasing the plump pink flesh with a long, lingering kiss. His beard smelled like a warm sandy beach; it scratched my chin as he began trailing his way down my neck.

I hummed, my body relaxing to the solace of the captain’s wet, lazy kisses. “We don’t have to doll,” he murmured as his lips traced my naked skin with rare tenderness. Even his hardworking coarse hands were unusually soft. Those hands held weapons and killed, yet still very much capable of loving.

Languidly, he made his way down the cleft of my torso. He pressed a kiss beneath my plump breasts and through the valley of my body. The coarseness of his facial hair left me raw while his lips followed, making sure to comfort my tendered flesh. 

“You’re my oasis,” he half-whispered onto my belly, lining the spot that connected my thigh to my pelvis. “My sweet refuge from all the shit outside.”

And he was mine. 

All my pain and fears cowered at the silhouette of this man, diminished into weak shadows that couldn’t hurt me anymore. As long as Sy slept next to me with his chest pressed against my back and his face buried in the nook of my shoulder, I know I’m safe. 

Pressing a kiss to each side of my inner thighs, he landed a slow lingering one to the apex of my groin. Taking his sweet time, he moved toward the warmer corner of my body, his favourite place to kiss. 

Syverson groaned, his lips poised against my covered mound, breathing fumes into my body.

“That’s not fair,” I complained, closing my eyes nearly drifting off to sleep. The captain laughed at my response and shook his head, wearing a shit-eating grin on his face. He lifted my body slightly and nibbled at the ample flesh of my behind before beginning to climb back. 

“I don’t play fair, darlin’” he pecked my waist and licked the curve of my ribs. “but lucky you, I’m willing to keep this one for the morning.”

“Mhmm… morning.” I mumbled, already too drained and his lips lulling me to sleep. Teetering between a dream and consciousness, I felt Sy’s kisses move up the path of my body, whispering words of love before I drifted to sleep.

_______________________________________________________

[manawhaat]

Rock & A Hard Place (pt.9)

Title:  Rock & A Hard Place (pt. 9)

Characters: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Norman Reedus

Summary: It takes a lot to open up to the men in your life, but entrusting them with your virginity is a step that takes your relationship to the next level.  

Warnings: Virgin!Reader, polyamorous relationship, slight angst, anxiety, loss of virginity, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, fluff.

Word Count: 702

A/N: Shit got a little lifey and I got off schedule on posting these guys so I’m posting parts 9 and 10 today so we can get back on track next Monday. Sorry and thanks for sticking with me, guys. Drabble series based on the reader losing her virginity to her boyfriends, JDM and Norman Reedus. This is not only the guys x reader but it’s also JDM x Normy, too.(Nicknames for the guys include: Jeff, Jeffy, Jeffrey, Norman, Normy, Bubba.) Betad by the ever amazing @kittenofdoomage​​​ and @samsexualdeancurious​​​ ❤️❤️

Series Masterlist

Cuddled up and surrounded by his scent and warmth, you began to drift off, but were awoken a few moments later by Jeff’s voice. It was only above a whisper, but his chest vibrated against yours, gravel voice lifting you from your sweet, sated daze.

“Yeah, she’s asleep.”

A grin cracked your lips as you lifted your face from Jeff’s chest. “No, she’s awake.” You smiled sleepily and looked over your shoulder to find the door pulled open and filled with a set of broad shoulders. 

“Aw I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, honey. I’m just gonna get ready for bed and I’ll be in in a few.”

“No, I want you here with me.” The polite plea in your voice and the puppy dog eyes you shot Normy drew him in, and he took a seat at the edge of the bed, facing you. 

“How was it?”

Matching hums of approval escaped both you and Jeff, lightening the mood. “It was new, but perfect. Thank you guys for waiting for me.” 

Jeffrey took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to the back of it, eyes filled with sincerity and love. “You’re worth the wait, baby. You’re worth everything.”

Heart fluttering at his words, you pressed into his arms to kiss him slow and deep. “I love you, Jeff.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

You turned to face Norman. “And I love you, too, Bubba. I- I can’t wait to be with you.” 

A shy smile took over your face and he simply kissed it away. Strong arms pulled halfway onto his chest and he took your face in both of his hands, fingers pushing into your hair while his thumbs smoothed over your lips and cheeks. Jeff pressed up behind you, lazily letting his hands roam your body, squeezing here and there while Norman sucked you in with a comforting, reassuring, passionate kiss. 

“God, I love you so much, Y/n.” 

His hand followed the curves of your body and landed on your ass, pulling you closer to him and squeezing enough to lure a little sigh from you. Fingertips barely grazing over your sides brought chills to your skin, those gentle hands working under the hoodie to cup and knead your breast. You pulled away from them and sat up to take the sweater off and straddle Norman’s lap. Things were getting too hot with it on and you knew where this was leading. 

The two passed you between each other, mouths tasting your soft skin and hands smoothing up your back and over all the little spots on your body that made you moan out in pleasure. Thick fingers rubbed along the edge of your panties, only pressing down further to find your clit through the fabric when you sighed ‘please’ all tender and needy. 

Jeffrey smiled into your neck, hands playing with your tits as Norman kissed his way down your belly, mouth on a path to meet his fingers between your legs.  

“Why don’t you tell Normy what you saved for him,” Jeff whispered in your ear, just loud enough for Norman to hear. The heat of embarrassment spread through you at Jeff’s words and the way Bubba looked laying between your legs, hair in his face and eyes waiting for you to give him the go-ahead. 

“Bubba, um… Jeff didn’t eat me out,” you admitted meekly. “I wanted to save it for you.” 

Norman’s eyes crinkled at the edges, face cracked open with a smile as he stalked back up your body to kiss your lips. “You are too damn sweet, honey, you know that?” Giggles fell from your mouth as his hands squeezed at your side and his mouth nipped at your neck. “Can I take this off?” he asked, thumbs skirting under your tank top. The corners of your lips quirked up when your hands met his to guide them up your belly, only letting go so you could sit up enough for him to pull it over your head.

“You’re so damn gorgeous.” Bubba smiled down at you, licking his lips before leaning back in to press his body and mouth back to yours.

NEXT PART>>>

Forever Tags: @sebbytrash​​​​​ @abaddonwithyall​​​​ @asgardianvamp21​​​​ @atc74​​​​​  @bisexualdolphinthings​​​​ @blackandpurple-hearts​​​​ @blacktithe7​​​​ @blushingsamgirl​​​​ @brokenyellowcrayons​​​​ @charliebradbury1104​​​​ @charliesbackbitches @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog​​​​ @crispychrissy​​​​ @crzcorgi​​​​ @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog​​​​ @deandoesthingstome​​​​ @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester​​ @destiels-new-girl​​​​  @drarina1737 @duckzorz-blog​​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​​ @ezauraemmaline​​​​ @fandommaniacx​​​​ @feelmyroarrrr​​​​ @fictionalabyss​​​​ @for-the-love-of-dean @get-royally-fucked-blog​​​​ @growningupgeek​​​​ @gryffindorable713​​​​ @hellbentcrowley-blog​​​​ @impala-1979​​​​ @impalalalala​​​​ @itsemmyb​​​​ @jensennjared @just-a-touch-of-crowley @kayteonline​​​​ @keithseabrook27​​​​ @kingarthurofslytherin​​​​ @kittenofdoomage​​​​ @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​​  @lucifer-in-leather​​​​ @lupine-princess​​​​ @mamaimpala​​​​ @meganwinchester1999​​​​ @moonlitskinwalker @mrsjohnsmith​​​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​​ @muliermalefici​​​​ @myarchangelgabriel @notnaturalanahi​​​​ @nichelle-my-belle​​​​ @oriona75​​​​  @sassysupernaturalsweetheart​​​​ @sexyvixen7​​​​ @shhhs3cret​​​​ @sis-tafics​​​​ @sneaky-midnight-adventures @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic​​​​ @sorenmarie87​​​​ @spn-fan-girl-173​​​​ @spnwoman​​​​ @starswirlblitz​​​​ @superfanficnatural​​​​ @supernaturaldean67​​​​ @theashhole​​​​ @there-must-be-a-lock​​​​ @tia58​​​​ @vaisabu​​​​ @wibly-wobly-winchester​​​​ @winchester-writes​​​​ @winchesterenthusiast​​​​ @winchestersinthedrift​​​​ @winchesterswoonathon​​​​ @winchesterprincessbride​​​​ @writingthingsisdifficult​​​​ @youll-all-get-yours​​​​ @zeneko1987​

RPF Tags: @akshi8278​​​​​​ @becs-bunker​​​​​​​​ @jelly-beans-and-gstrings​​​​​​​​ @plaidstiel-wormstache​​​​​​​​ @sandlee44​​​​​​​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​​​​​​​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​​​​​​​​ @wonderless-screwup​​​​​​​​ @youre-my-grxvity 

[savedpeople]

In Character Questionnaire – Repost Don’t Reblog

Tagged by: @abiggerworld​ (thanks!) Tagging: @godblessrickgrimes @inadxquacy @formidablekind (any muse) @felelemnelkul, @shootfortherightreasons @getrightbackup and anyone else that wants to do this is free to steal it from me

1 ) WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE SMELL LIKE ? Mostly leather and whatever soap he’s managed to get his hands on... and whatever hair product that’s keeping his hair all nice and slicked back. Due to the Saviors living in a factory, you might also get a hint of that industrial machinery sort of smell off of him if he’s spent a lot of time inside recently. Aside from that, just natural odors. It’s the apocalypse, no one smells good anymore.

2 ) HOW OFTEN DOES YOUR MUSE BATHE / SHOWER ?  ANY HABITS ? Ideally every day; before the outbreak Negan showered every morning, and occasionally again in the evening. Of course in the apocalypse that’s not always possible, and early on he got used to his clothes not always being clean and his face not always clean-shaven, but he still tried to find a way to clean up and wash himself somewhat at least once a day. Once at the Sanctuary that wasn’t a problem, where he could wash daily; currently in Alexandria it’s not quite up to him, so he bathes whenever they allow him to.

3 ) DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS ?  No piercings, but he has a couple of tattoos on his arms.

(I’m really indecisive about what I want for Negan as far as tattoos go, since all the ones he has on the show are JDM’s and weren’t added specifically for the character, and comic!Negan has none. So he has a couple on his arms -- the cross, the gun, maybe one or two others -- but no names or any tattoos on his hands, chest, or back.)

4 ) ANY BODY MOVEMENT QUIRKS ( EX : LEG SHAKING ) ?   There is of course the infamous Lean™, Negan’s odd habit of leaning back and/or to the side an exaggerated amount while he’s standing, though he seems to be doing this less as time goes on (I reckon his age is starting to catch up with him there.) He pinches the bridge of his nose when he’s frustrated, gesticulates a fair amount while talking, and is often seen licking his lips and sticking his tongue between his teeth. While this is sometimes done on purpose for the Effect, a lot of times it’s unintentional and pure habit, for example gently biting on his tongue when he’s thinking or concentrating on something.

5 ) WHAT DO THEY SLEEP IN ?   It depends. If he’s out somewhere he sleeps in whatever he’s wearing. Same holds true for his time in the cell, since he wasn’t given a spare set of night clothes. Normally, he throws on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt (sometimes the one he already had on.) If it’s real hot out he might sleep without a shirt and/or ditch the sweatpants. Sleeping naked doesn’t happen unless he just had sex and didn’t care to put anything on after.

6 ) WHAT’S THEIR FAVORITE PIECE OF CLOTHING ?  His leather jacket, he feels naked without it.

7 ) WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY WAKE UP ?  He usually lies there for a few minutes first to give himself time to wake up and think over everything that needs to be done that day. Once he’s out of bed it’s usually a quick shower, a quick bite to eat, and then it’s right to business--- most commonly starting off with a meeting with his lieutenants.

8 ) HOW DO THEY SLEEP ?  POSITION ? Negan usually sleeps on his back (which is also when he’s most likely to snore), and sometimes on his side. He’s a lighter sleeper now than he used to be prior to the outbreak, trained by post-apocalyptic dangers to stay alert. Negan doesn’t move around much in his sleep but he is a cuddler, so if he’s sharing a bed with someone it’s not unusual for him to gravitate towards them throughout the night, or for some sort of accidental contact to happen at some point.

9 ) WHAT DO THEIR HANDS FEEL LIKE ?  Negan has long fingers and veiny hands that are a little rough from natural aging and years of playing, teaching, and coaching sports. They’re generally warm and have a firm grip.

10 ) IF YOU KISSED THEM, WHAT WOULD THEY USUALLY TASTE LIKE ? Either whatever kind of toothpaste he uses, or whatever food he’s most recently eaten. Sometimes he likes to have a drink after a long day so in those cases, you might catch a taste of wine or whiskey.

[missjackil]

Miss Jacki’s Top 30 Favorite Episodes

#14

Baby 11x04

This episode never fails to make me smile! Such a good meta to tell a story from the POV of The Impala. I know J2 loved doing this one, and it really begins the massive bro feels that is season  11. After the terrible fights between the brothers that had part of almost every season since the beginning, and the depressing, near fatal arc that was the Mark of Cain, finally, the Winchester boys are on the same page!! Nothing in the series has done my heart so good as for the world to be crumbling to ashes around them, but they’re cruising down the road with the radio blasting, singing Night Moves together 😍💖

Now, I heard a story about this scene, told by a man. I cant remember what man, though he worked on this episode. I cant link you so, take it as you will.. The story went that, They knew they wanted the brothers to be driving down the road playing a good old classic and wasnt sure what song to use, and Eugenie said “Oh, Night Moves, definitely” and they thought it was great and all agreed. It was supposed to just be J2 ad libbing as soon as the music starts and they would edit parts together later. Jared would be on vacation that week, so they did the Night Moves scene first, and would finish the rest of his scenes when he got back (this is why he wasnt in much of the 2nd half) so as soon as the music starts, the boys are making it up as they go. The “One of the greatest rock writers in history Samuel” “It’s Sam” on their own, the show runners loved it so they kept it, then Sam sings “Out in the back seat of my brother’s 67 Chevy” they loved that too, and wanted to keep it BUT there were a couple problems, much of what the song has already sung, sounds like it applies to Sam “I was a little too tall, coulda used a few pounds” etc and what followed “Working on mysteries without any clues” so Sam singing about the backseat sounds a little... provokative, especially since Sam has never had sex in the car in canon LOL so in order to keep the line, without it implying wincest, was to write into the story that Sam had sex in the car. So, we got Piper. The part where Dean comes back to the car to find Sam with Piper, was recorded while Jared was on vacation, and he literally phoned in his end of the conversation, and then the story adjustments were made later. 

Like I said, I cant find a link, it was something I came accross early in my SPN days , and it makes sense as to why it was randomly thrown in that Sam was having sex in the car when he never has before, and apparently, not even there when it happens ( when shes looking for her hair pin, you can tell Sam isnt in the car)

The Night Moves scene is to me, the happiest scene in the series. I love seeing Sam smile.and how he says “Dont... Night Moves me” as if this is something Dean has done before. I love  them full on laughing, eating, singing and bickering “you’re not even looking at the road!” and just loving being together and not caring the world is doomed. I dont care what happens on the show, no one can ever convince me these 2 are not the center of each others universe. So the show progresses and Sam is exhausted and has a snooze in the back seat, where he dreams about their father. This is a good scene, Sam looks genuinely spooked... As much as I love JDMs John, I love Matt Cohen’s John too. He’s always more calm and rational. as John would have been before all the trouble happened. Ive always felt like young John was like Sam, and older John was more like Dean. Was this done on purpose? I think it probably was, so we could see the similarities better. 

Sam is startled awake, and Dean is researching, “Welcome to the Winchester Motel, where we dont have cable, but we do have room service” and hands Sam a beer. This becomes one of the longest and best conversations we get to see the boys have. Sam comes clean about having been infected, I expected Dean to be angry he kept that from him, but he wasnt. He did show concern, but who wouldnt? I know some of you complain “But its none of his business!! Sam doesnt have to tell him anything!!??” while that’s true, when you love someone, you want to know when they’re sick, or in some kind of trouble... even if you cant help them, when you love someone, you reserve the right to worry about them. It can hurt deeply when you find out your loved one held back something important from you.... but Dean let it slide and let Sam talk. It did Sam some good obviously, as he was calm enough to go back to sleep and gave Dean the Winchester “I love you” with “Goodnight Jerk”and Dean returned the jesture with an “i love you too” “goodnight bitch” and Sam smiled. 

The boys settle in to sleep and leave us with an instant iconic shot of them sleeping next to each other from overhead. The episode could have ended here and I would be fine. The rest was kinda boring IMO especially when Sam isnt there anymore and Dean is dealing with the “Werepires” this is the only reason why this episode didnt make my top 10.  Ive watched this episode well over 100 times and still love to know its up next in my binge  queue. Im so happy SPN is brave enough to think outside the box and do different things... sometimes it doesnt work, but in this case it did... very much!