#edit: it was 4 hours and 42 minutes but who's counting

[varians-sekai]

Happy birthday Rui! (I’m an hour late but shhhhh)

For his birthday I decided to draw the process Rui goes through when he puts on his typical costume! 

Close-ups below the cut!

[thecreaturecodex]

Daemonic Harbinger, Shagrath

Image © @tredlocity​

[Commissioned by @crazytrain48​. Shagrath the Red Moon Spyder was first mentioned in the original Arduin Grimoire but never got much elaboration, beyond being Chaotic and Evil and having a holiday devoted to him. The 90s “Compleat Arduin” edition misspelled his name with 2 Gs, and that’s what I have used previously in the spiga entry. The Arduin Eternal version from the 2000s made him a creator god, but that information never made it into any of their published books, and their website is only available via Wayback Machine. So this version merges him with another spider-themed archfiend from Arduin, Calyandagg, but incorporates some of my own personal interests in making evil deities based on real-world evils. The idea that conspiracy theories are authored by a giant spider who lives on the moon sounds like a conspiracy theory in and of itself.]

Daemonic Harbinger, Shagrath CR 22 NE Outsider (extraplanar) This immense creature looks vaguely arachnid, with thirteen legs and thirteen eyes. Its carapace is a metallic red, with a mantle of bristling fur on it. Alien runes decorate its legs and abdomen.

Shagrath The Red Moon Spider, The Second Opinion Concerns alternate history, misinformation, torture Domains Darkness, Destruction, Evil, Knowledge Subdomains Daemon, Moon, Thought, Torture Worshipers conspiracy theorists, interrogators, spiga Minions crucidaemons, fiendish giant spiders, piscodaemons Unholy Symbol a ring of twelve red moons showing the lunar cycle Favored Weapon heavy pick Devotion Spend one hour promulgating an alternative version of a commonly held idea or belief. It does not matter whether you believe what you say, or if it is true, only that the information is spread. Gain a +4 profane bonus to saving throws against confusion effects and mind-influencing effects that deal damage (such as mind thrust). Boons: 1: web 2/day; 2: freedom of movement 2/day; 3: extended true seeing 2/day

Shagrath the Red Moon Spider is an ancient being, the first of the race of fiends known as spiga. When first formed, Shagrath lacked magical power, but he realized that belief was a strong enough force to shape the cosmos. By viewing himself as a god, he gained the ability to cast divine spells, and eventually forced his way into the courts of the daemonic harbingers through sheer force of will. His ultimate goal is to achieve full divinity, and his primary means to accomplish this is to expand his cult—if enough mortals believe him to become a god, he will be one.

As part of this agenda of apotheosis, Shagrath tells outrageous falsehoods: that he wove a planet out of his webs; that he can see everything that transpires in moonlight; that he knows literally everything. It matters not to him that the majority of his lies do not stick. If repeated forcefully enough, to enough people, they will take root and become history. His worshipers gleefully create and distribute “alternate facts”, particularly those that demonize a vulnerable group or that promote selfishness and disunity. Of course, Shagrath does enjoy inflicting pain in a more direct sense as well. He is a master of torture, and is especially interested at how the application of pain can cause mortals to weave extravagant falsehoods or completely change their beliefs.

Shagrath has all of the abilities of a spiga, and uses them in similar fashion in combat. He enhances his combat prowess with divine magic, entraps foes in his webs, and then paralyzes them with his claws and venomous bite. Shagrath can create new spiga by implanting eggs inside of paralyzed victims, which he keeps helpless but alive long enough for the spiga to grow inside them. Shagrath has access to many powerful clerical abilities, which he uses in combat as much to impress upon enemies his divine powers as much as to injure and kill.

Shagrath is about thirty feet long and weighs ten tons. He spends little time in Abaddon, perhaps because his interests in divinity make him distrusted by the Horsemen.  He typically lairs on a moon of the planet in the Material Plane he is currently interested in. From this vantage point, he descends earthward to spread lies and torture, and returns to his airless abode to avoid retribution.

Shagrath                CR 22 XP 615,000 NE Gargantuan outsider (daemon, evil, extraplanar) Init +11; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +39, tremorsense 120 ft., true seeing Aura fear (30 ft., Will DC 33), unholy (DC 29) Defense AC 38, touch 18, flat-footed 30 (-4 size, +7 Dex, +20 natural, +1 dodge, +4 deflection) hp 420 (24d10+288); fast healing 10 Fort +30, Ref +21, Will +30 DR 20/good; Immune acid, death effects, disease, electricity, fire, mind-influencing effects, paralysis poison; Resist cold 30; SR 33; Weakness vulnerable to cold Defensive Abilities freedom of movement Offense Speed 50 ft., climb 40 ft.; air walk Melee bite +33 (2d12+13 plus poison), 3 claws +33 (4d6+13 plus paralysis) Space 20 ft.; Reach 15 ft. Special Attacks breath weapon (80 ft. cone, Ref DC 34, 20d10 piercing plus entrap, 1d4 round), entrap (hardness 10, 30 hp, 1 hour), implant, paralysis (DC 34, 1 round), rend (2 claws, 4d6+19), tortuous rend Spell-like Abilities CL 24th, concentration +35 (+39 casting defensively) Constant—air walk, true seeing, unholy aura (DC 29) At will—greater scrying (DC 28), greater teleport (self plus 50 lbs. objects only), harm (DC 27) 3/day—glibness, empowered greater shadow evocation (DC 29), plane shift (DC 28) 1/day—interplanetary teleport, mind blank, power word kill, summon (9th, 100%, any CR 20 or lower daemon) Spells CL 20th, concentration +32 9th—energy drain (DC 31, x2), mass heal (DC 31), shades (DC 31)D, quickened slay living (DC 27), quickened wall of stone 8th—quickened blessing of fervor, quickened cure critical wounds (DC 26), demand (DC 30)D, discern location, quickened divine power, fire storm (DC 30) greater spell immunity 7th—blasphemy (DC 29), quickened blindness/deafness (DC 24), destruction (DC 29, x2), disintegrate (DC 29)D, greater restoration, repulsion (DC 29) 6th—banishment (DC 28), blade barrier (DC 28), dreamD, greater dispel magic (x2), heal, quickened owl’s wisdom 5th—cleanse, quickened divine favor, dispel good (DC 27), quickened entropic shield, flame strike (DC 27), greater command (DC 27), shout (DC 27)D  4th—cure critical wounds (DC 26), death ward, dimensional anchor (x2), moonstruck (DC 26)D, sending, spiritual ally (+36/+31/+26/+21, 1d10+5 force), tongues 3rd—bestow curse (DC 25), contagion (DC 25), cure serious wounds (DC 25), deeper darkness, prayer, protection from elements, seek thoughts (DC 25)D, stone shape 2nd—bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, death knell (DC 24, x2), make whole, pain strike (DC 24)D, silence (DC 24), spiritual weapon (+36/+31/+26/+21, 1d8+5) 1st—cure light wounds (DC 23, x3), detect good (x3), faerie fireD, sanctuary (DC 23) 0th—detect magic, guidance, read magic, stabilize D = domain spell Statistics Str 36, Dex 25, Con 35, Int 35, Wis 34, Cha 32 Base Atk +24; CMB +41; CMD 63 (73 vs. trip) Feats Combat Expertise, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Empower SLA (greater shadow evocation) Improved Critical (claw), Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Mobility, Quicken Spell, Spring Attack, Stand Still, Whirlwind Attack Skills Acrobatics +34 (+42 when jumping), Bluff +38, Climb +53, Diplomacy +38, Intimidate +38, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, engineering, geography +, history, local, nature, nobility) +31, Knowledge (planes, religion) +35, Perception +39, Sense Motive +39, Spellcraft +36, Stealth +22, Use Magic Device +35 Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Draconic, Infernal, telepathy 300 ft. SQ daemonic harbinger traits, expert climber, no breath Ecology Environment any land or underground (Abaddon) Organization unique Treasure double standard Special Abilities Aura of Fear (Su) A creature that fails its save against Shagrath’s aura of fear is panicked for 1 minute. A creature that succeeds its save is immune to Shagrath’s aura of fear for the next 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma based. Daemonic Harbinger Traits (Ex/Su) Shagrath is a daemonic harbinger, a powerful unique fiend. This grants him the following traits:

Immunity to acid, charm and compulsion effects, death effects, disease and poison

Resistance to cold, electricity and fire 30

Telepathy 300 ft.

Shagrath’s natural weapons, as well as any weapons he wields, count as evil and epic weapons for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction

Shagrath can grant spells to his worshippers.

Expert Climber (Ex) Shagrath can climb on any surface. Treat this as a non-magical spider climb effect, and this ability doubles its racial bonus on Climb checks to +16. Freedom of Movement (Su) Shagrath is constantly protected by a freedom of movement effect as a supernatural ability. Implant (Ex) As a standard action, Shagrath can implant an egg inside a helpless or paralyzed creature. This creature must succeed a DC 34 Fortitude save or the egg begins to grow inside its body for 1d4+1 days. Every day a creature has an egg incubating inside it, it takes 2 points of Constitution drain. Attempts to remove this larva require a DC 30 Heal check, or any magic that removes disease with a successful DC 34 caster level check. Once the duration elapses, the egg bursts free as a squirming larva, dealing 10d10 points of damage as it goes (Fortitude DC 34 halves). The larva is treated as a giant maggot with a spiga’s immunities, spell resistance and defensive abilities. It grows into a full-sized spiga in 13 days. The save DC is Constitution based. Poison (Ex) Bite—injury; save Fort DC 34; duration 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d6 Dex damage; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Constitution based. Spells Shagrath casts spells as a 20th level cleric. Shagrath gets a bonus spell prepared each day for his domains, and can choose between all of his domains and subdomains for that spell. He does not gain the ability to spontaneously cast inflict spells. He treats his own body as a holy symbol for the purposes of spell components. Torturous Rend (Su) A creature affected by Shagrath’s rend ability must succeed a DC 33 Fortitude save or be overcome with intense pain, suffering a -4 penalty to attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, skill and ability checks for the next 1d4+1 rounds. Multiple failed saves cause the duration to stack. The save DC is Charisma based.

[bird-in-a-cage]

#42 from the prompt list... I mean I'm sorry but... I NEED TO SEE THAT.

Wow, am I sorry this took so long! This was a tough prompt but, thanks to @cockasinthebird for being a wonderful human being, we got through it. So I hope this was worth the wait!

Prompt list is here if anyone wants to throw a prompt at me!

#42: “I didn’t say “sex party” as in orgy.  I said “hex party” as in witches.”

So far, college had been okay. It was as hard and challenging as Steve had expected, but he was getting on almost well. He had to spend a lot of time studying in the library, reading and re-reading source materials, typing, editing, deleting and starting all over again with essays and assignments sure. But it was different from high school, on a deep level he wanted to be here, amongst the old stone buildings that either held no heat at all or far too much depending on the weather outside, surrounded by people who also shared a passion for learning. It was different to focus on what he wanted to learn instead of just having to cram a little bit of everything into his brain everyday.

Turns out, if he was just allowed to go a little slower and take his time, he wasn’t as dumb as everyone back home at thought.

He’d gotten into college by the skin of his teeth, pulling far too many all nighters and living off five hour energy to drag his grades up when it was almost too late, pulling in every favour he had to retake anything below a C with nothing but a prayer and a pleading smile, somehow managing to not go completely insane in the process. Getting a 3 point grade average at graduation had been nothing short of a miracle. He wanted to say his parents had nothing to do with his acceptance into quite a nice school, but in reality Steve knew they probably greased a palm or two. Maybe helped pay for the new set of band uniforms that were recently unveiled.

The college itself was beautiful. Steve had fallen for it on his first visit. Old stone buildings, a large green campus area, a good surrounding community, regular activities and groups to go meet up with and try different things with now he was getting out of small town Hawkins and away from being stuck in what he knew. 

There was something a bit…odd about the college though. Steve would be sat in the library, for example, finishing up a comparison piece when he would hear the telltale low battery beep from his headphones. He always forgot to bring a charger. He knew it was on his nightstand back in the dorm room, wrapped around the drawer handle so he wouldn’t forget to lift it this time, so it was pointless checking his bag for it. He would go to pack his things away, open up his slouchy backpack and there it would be, his exact one because he’d wrapped a piece of green tape around it when his roommate kept stealing it and swearing blind he hadn’t, laying curled around his water bottle..

That wasn’t the only example though. Things would just appear when he was looking for them. Books he needed from a completely different section would just happen to be on the shelf he was currently looking at. If a flavour of soda was sold out at a vending machine, he would pick another, but the one he originally wanted would tumble out, ice cold and somehow impossibly refreshing. None of them were a major inconvenience by far, but it was just odd. 

The only small downside to the college of his dreams is that he forgot to investigate anything about the fraternities and sororities. Steve didn’t really have any desire to be in any frat even if offered, they were just houses for boys to pretend not to be at least a little bicurious as they bumped into each other all sweaty playing sports, using basketball as an excuse to touch each other’s muscles. Flat out no homo-ing each other. Steve was out and proud at college, didn’t need an excuse anymore other than “you’re hot, you wanna?”. The days of bi-panic and needing a thinly veiled excuse such as helping someone he thought was cute off the ground in the middle of a match were long gone.  Steve had been to a couple of frat parties, naturally, everyone did. They were kinda fun if you hung around outside away from the thick, choking air of sexual tension that was threatening to bubble over at any minute.

Everyone knew frat houses were just potential orgy dens, right?

There was one frat house though, just off campus and to the right a little, that gave off a weird vibe. The Omega House. It didn’t look that special, had dark grey panelling on the outside, windows trimmed in white, the omega symbol on the outer wall above the door painted in silver that reflected the sunlight and looked almost like real silver. Like the college itself, it was just odd. As far as Steve could tell it didn’t have many members, only four, as far as he’d counted, would walk around in blazing orange letterman jackets with that emblem stitched into the back and a smaller one on the front right breast. He didn’t know what majors they took, probably all on sports scholarships with how stacked a couple of them looked, and one liked to hang around the library. Always in sunglasses even indoors, tight jeans to combat the slightly too big jacket. Blonde hair shaved at the sides but longer on top, not wildly long but just enough for natural loose curls to develop.

Not that Steve had been looking at how handsome he was at all.

Thinking about it, he seemed to always be around when the odd things happened. When there would suddenly be a spare chair even though all the tables were packed with other students trying to do their work, a fresh stack of post it notes in Steve’s bag when he needed to write an annotation down quickly, a newly sharpened pencil just happening to be on the floor by his feet when he’d lost his before class. The rain suddenly starting as soon as Steve got into a building when he’d forgotten an umbrella like it was waiting for him to be safe and dry.

There was just something weird about the whole thing. Not enough for him to freak out and want to go home though, no way. He could deal with weird and slightly odd far better than being stuck in a town going nowhere, where his only future was getting a job in his father’s company and a wife he didn’t love, cranking out a couple kids after a year of so and slowly but surely morphing into a mirror image of the man he lowkey despised.

Even the thought of that was horrifying. It was bad enough that genetically they might look similar one day. Hopefully many, many years in the future. When plastic surgery was cheap.

The library was quiet when Steve entered. Of course it was, it was a Friday night. There were a number of parties and gatherings happening all over the place, but this week he’d promised himself to be good. Study now and party later. He’d been invited to a glow paint, totally-not-a-rave party happening just outside of town that he was pretty excited for. He’d been focusing hard on his studies so it was time to let off some steam. And maybe that steam had been building for quite some time cause ol’ Lefty wasn’t doing the trick anymore, mashing his face into a pillow in the dead of night, furiously jacking off under a blanket and praying his roommate didn’t wake up or come back soon. And, maybe sometimes, Steve thought about that cute blonde in the Omega House jacket and how good it would be to see those thick lips all slick and swollen wrapped around his cock. Really those thoughts were just between him and God, who he hoped wasn’t paying attention most of the time he was alone in his room.

Steve found the spot he liked, towards the back facing towards the window where he couldn’t be distracted by people walking in, and pulled his laptop and the well annotated copy of Dracula he was working from. His half finished essay sat on the screen, cursor blinking at him accusingly, demandingly even. He sighed at it and opened up to the page he was last working from when the chair next to him was pulled out. Not even one or two over, obeying the unspoken rule of the Personal Study Bubble. No, the very next chair. Steve could see orange reflected on his screen. He frowned slightly and turned to just give a passing glance, hoping for a the fuck? expression, when he saw staggeringly blue eyes staring back, nestled into tan freckled skin, natural curls just reaching down into the field of view. The regular sunglasses had been tucked up into the neck of a black tee. The back of Steve’s neck felt instantly hot as he looked away, hoping for a moment he hadn’t been seen, but that was impossible. He was right there.

“Hey, haven’t seen you around before. Must be in the same class though.” His voice was deep and Steve felt his legs turn a little bit to jello. He chanced another glance and saw the guy was holding a copy of Dracula too. Steve wasn’t sure he’d been holding it before… 

“Well, I attend almost every lecture…”

“You must do if you’re in here by yourself on a Friday,” the guy smiled. It didn’t look cruel, neither did it sound like he was making fun. This was already confusing, and Steve wasn’t the greatest with people at the best of times, let alone he around guys he thought were kind of stupidly handsome from afar, and apparently just stunning close up.

Steve just nodded and shifted in his seat slightly since this guy clearly wasn’t going to go away any time soon. He didn’t have anything on the table in front of him, didn’t even look like he had a backpack for the potential of anything. The odd feeling was definitely strong and getting stronger. “Can I… can I help you with something?”

“That depends,” the book was quickly tossed aside and the guy nudged closer with his chair, Steve could smell his cologne. It didn’t smell like anything he’d tried before. It was floral but dark and spicy, but also fruity too. Slightly burnt lemon and vanilla loaf? His hand wrapped easily around Steve’s freer one. His skin was warm, a little rough maybe from weightlifting which he clearly did, applying a comforting amount of pressure. Steve couldn’t help the skin on his arm breaking out in goose pimples. He glanced at their hands together and his throat felt impossibly tight. “I’m Billy by the way.”

“Steve...”

“Great. So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but things can be a little, strange around here-”

Steve glanced at their hands again, felt that blue steel bore into his eyes and further back. “Oh they’re strange alright…”

“You ever wondered why?” This guy, Billy, grinned something devilish and let Steve’s hand go only to put it on his knee, squeezing firm but not unpleasant. Steve was sure he was starting to sweat under the attention of all this. Yeah he had fooled around with a couple guys drunk at parties, stumbled into a dorm room or two he didn’t recognise to have some fun and wake up with carpet burns over his back and his knees, but this felt very direct. Especially when Billy’s hand started slowly drifting higher. Steve couldn’t even say he didn’t want it, he’d been staring at this guy from a distance for months now, but to have him suddenly be right in front and touching with obvious intent. It was something else.

“Uh, n-not really. Sometimes maybe?”

Billy’s eyes turned from cool to blazingly erotic in an instant, for just a moment, then back to cool again. He nudged even closer into Steve’s bubble, who was more helpless than a fish on dry land at this moment. 

“Would you like to know why?” The way Billy’s tongue licked over the L was something filthy. If Steve had been set jello before he was now quickly melting into a sweet pool of tangy cherry. “My friends and I can show you.”

Steve felt like he was drowning. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be happening. But still BIlly’s firm hand crept ever higher until he was practically cupping Steve through his jeans, inching closer until their lips were connected in the middle of the library. Steve’s eyes fluttered closed. He was already boiling alive in his skin from all the attention and Billy’s lips weren’t helping. They were as plush as Steve had imagined. Maybe not in the right area just yet but with the way Billy was pushing his palm directly against Steve’s slowly awakening dick they just might be soon.

He was half hard when Billy pulled away, flushed bright red like he’d been sunburnt.

“Come by the house tomorrow night, you’ll see. We promise you’ll enjoy it.” 

With that, Billy winked, slipped his sunglasses back on and left. Steve blinked at nothing for a long time, trying to piece together what the hell had just happened to him.

Did… did he just get invited to an orgy?

He packed up quickly and went back to his dorm, there was no way any studying was going to happen now. It didn’t happen throughout all of Saturday either. Just the memory of the whole short incident rolling around and around in Steve’s mind, of Billy’s words dripping from those lips and the feel of his hand pressing just right.

He’d definitely gotten invited to an orgy.

He lay on his bed for a while just thinking, tapping his forefingers together as something for them to do. Steve was kind of flattered really, he knew he was nice looking, but there were far better looking guys on campus, and from the stories he’d heard they’d probably be up for it no questions asked. It also popped into his head that the guys he’d seen wearing the orange Omega jackets were a lot more jacked than he was, and Steve had seen enough porn to know what that probably meant. A part of him knew this was utterly insane. Shit like this didn’t happen without a bored camera crew and fourteen different close up angles.

But then maybe it did happen. He was from a small town after all. He was pretty sure his neighbours three doors down were swingers from all the cars that would suddenly appear once a month for just a night. Least that was the rumor that he may or may not have pushed a couple times. And, afterall, wasn’t this what college was about? Being out there and experimenting with crazy shit you wouldn’t do in the real world. He’d taken ecstasy in his first few weeks at a warehouse party, he had no desire to do that back home.

So, maybe he was warming up to the idea of being a bottom at an orgy party being held in the weird grey frat house. Who was anyone to judge? Steve just wasn’t going to tell anyone about it, that’s all.

He felt nervous standing on the front steps of the Omega House. All the blinds were drawn inside. He didn’t know what to bring, what was customary? It didn’t feel right to bring, like, snacks, so he’d just brought himself, already flushing and trying not to get hard by just the thought of Billy getting his hands on him again, how good he must look naked and sweating, finding out what those lips could really do.

The man himself answered the door after two sharp knocks. The grin he wore was sinful, eyes wild and excited, grip firm as he pulled Steve easily inside the dark room. Steve wasn’t sure what to expect, but low mood lighting, a coffee table in the middle of three couches covered in books and blank papers, and every other surface holding up thick lit candles dripping with wax wasn’t it. It also appeared to be just the two of them.

It wasn’t entirely what he had signed up for. But Steve wasn’t exactly complaining.

“Man, am I happy you actually came,” Billy started, pulling his letterman off and hanging it over the banister like a coat hook. His black tee had the sleeves ripped off, his arms were nothing short of statue worthy. He ruffled his hair a little, the curls bobbing just so. They looked delightfully soft. “The rest of the guys are at some sorority bullshit, but they’ll be here later.”

“Uh, o-okay, cool.” Steve tried to sound confident as he went to go take a seat on one of the couches. Billy sat next to him, up close and personal again and it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He was radiating body heat which Steve wanted to eat up greedily. He noticed some of the books on the table. A copy of Frankenstein, a very old looking copy of Dracula, maybe second edition, a copy of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, and copies of both Malleus Maleficarum and A Guide to Modern Witchcraft. Those titles mixed with all the candles and the mood lighting and Billy’s staring and frankly demonic grin led Steve down the path that seemed the most obvious to him.

This was a sex cult house. And it was about to get all Rosemary’s Baby up in here.

Billy’s hand was back on his thigh again, heavy and pressing, taking Steve out of his deep barrel of thoughts. The grin was back on his tanned features. “You look nervous.” He gave Steve’s thigh a squeeze. Even though he had no idea what was going on it still made his cock jump alert in his jeans.

“Well, I’ve never exactly been to… one of these before…”

Billy’s eyebrows furrowed together a little, he still wore a smile though. It suited his face. “One of what?”

“You know...?” Steve rolled his hands as his face turned ever redder. He was sure it could almost be seen from space. He wasn’t a prude by any means, but growing up in quite a strict household meant he just struggled saying some things out loud. So he whispered it instead. “...an orgy?”

Billy stared at him for a moment before breaking into laughter that wasn’t at all humiliating. He must have sensed Steve’s rapidly growing discomfort and indignity because the laughter quickly died and turned more into gentle questioning. “Did you think that was what this was gonna be?”

“Well I don’t know what else this would be!” Steve spat out in frustration. He hated not knowing the whole story and here he felt he barely even knew the first line of the novel. Billy smiled warm like a summer day and cupped his cheek. He felt instantly calmed, being swallowed up by those cool blues like a gentle river on an August afternoon.  “I said I’d explain about all the odd things that happen around campus. They’re from us in this house. We’re kind of, different.”

“Different how?”

Billy took his hand back and snapped his fingers loud and piercing. All the candles extinguished themselves at once. Not a breeze to be felt. It wasn’t scary, or spooky, but it was pretty cool. “Different different. You’re the only person who’s seemed to notice. And, by house law, that means you get initiated. You get to know that we’re all witches.”

The word hung in the air and seemed ridiculous. But, at the same time, it didn’t. It did certainly explain how chargers and post its and pencils would suddenly just appear whenever Steve needed them. He still wasn’t completely convinced though.

“Witches?” He repeated back carefully, just in case he’d heard that wrong too. Billy nodded and clapped his hands. Every candle reignited themselves, flickering back to life one by one in a circle around the room. A bottle of whiskey and cans of coke appeared on the table where there had been just papers before. The books remained. There was a proud look on his face. Short of being drugged at the door and this all being a crazy fever dream, this was definitely real. Steve didn’t really have any reason to not believe his eyes and what was happening around him. Billy didn’t look like David Copperfield that was for sure. “So, not an orgy?”

“No. Not an orgy.” Billy chuckled and repeated back. He must have seen Steve’s face go from confused to understanding to a little disappointed all within the space of a few seconds because his hand was high on Steve’s thigh again. Maybe the guy just didn’t understand personal space? That seemed growingly likely. “I don’t think I’d wanna share you anyway.”

Steve felt the flush on his face again, but he grinned through it this time. Weird, spooky, otherworldly shit could be saved for later if there was even a chance of getting what he’d been thinking alone in his bed. “But you’d wanna maybe...?”

He let the question stay floating between them as Billy smirked lewd and pressed himself up against Steve’s body. “Bet you’d love to find out what I can do with my fingers pretty boy…”

Oh, Steve really would.

[what-breaks-my-heart]

I was tagged by @its-chelisey-stuff (WE LITERALLY JUST KNEW EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF MORE THAN FRIENDS)

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? I don’t have a hairbrush but I have a comb 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

2. Name a food you never eat. Seafood because of allergies. I can eat fish and crabs though. Basically anything that stores sea water (apart from fish).

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? IT’S ALWAYS TOO HOT HERE. I miss the UK where I can just layer up if it gets too cold.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I just woke up 😂😂

5. What’s your favourite candy bar? Are there candy bars which are not chocolate???

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Does esports count? I went to Kuala Lumpur DotA 2 Major in 2018. Otherwise, I didn’t go to any.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “I’m printing it!”

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Strawberry. Life is already bitter as is.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Tea. I just had breakfast.

10. Do you like your wallet? Indifferent.

11. What was the last thing you ate? Fried rice. Not Uncle Roger’s style because I am not Chinese.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Big fat nope.

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? DotA 2 online tournament. I have a team I have been supporting since I started watching it in 2015 and their game started really late last night (time zone thing)

14. What is your favourite flavor of popcorn? Just the plain one.

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? I texted my friend (whom I managed to make him watch his first kdrama) from school to prepare a box of tissue before watching episode 15 of More than Friends.

16. Ever been camping? Camping was an annual thing back in my primary school.

17. Do you take vitamins? I don’t go out under the sun, if that’s what you mean. But no, I don’t take supplements because I am too lazy.

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Not since the pandemic.

19. Do you have a tan? At this rate, I call it sunburn. But I haven’t gone out much (apart from going to work as and when needed, groceries, and taking my car for a spin) since the pandemic so the tan line is becoming fader.

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? Pineapple on pizza. Sue me!

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? I pour it into a glass and drink it like a champ. But I also try to reduce single-use plastics in my daily life.

22. What colour of socks do you usually wear? Black is always the safe option (yes it tells a lot about my personality huh)

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Yes, but only where the speed limit is stupidly too low. Otherwise, I rarely drive above 100 km/h.

24. What terrifies you? The list is too long, it should probably be a separate post. I project my issues on the shows that I watch so every now and then you would see me analysing characters or incidents while projecting my issues.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? A broken mirror (in my bedroom), just the perfect metaphor for my twisted perspectives in life.

26. What chore do you hate most? Scrubbing the toilet.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Please talk slowly so I can understand you (also applicable to any other languages tbh).

28. What’s your favorite soda? Carbonated lemonade.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I prefer hitting the Drive Thru so I can eat my food in front of my laptop in peace.

30. What’s your favourite number? 3 and its first 3 multiples

31. Who was the last person you talked to? My brother, when I passed him the printed material he asked me to print early in the morning for his chess coaching session (he’s a chess coach, yes).

32. Favourite meat? Chicken, because it’s the easiest to be eaten.

33. Last song you listened to? Late Regret by Ong Seong Wu (More than Friends OST). I even listened to the 1-hour loop on YouTube while editing my screencaps last night. And it took longer than the editing process so I also listened to the video with hangul and English lyrics afterwards. I am more comfortable with hangul than the romanisation so I guess my pathetic Korean lessons paid off.

34. Last book you read? I can’t even remember the last time I read a book. Probably mid last year?

35. Favourite day of the week? Saturday.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Haven’t tried 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

37. How do you like your coffee? Latte. But I am not a coffee drinker and only started drinking occasionally this year due to the amount of work I had to put in during the first half of this year (yes, even during the pandemic)

38. Favourite pair of shoes? I only have 2 pairs of shoes to even have any favourite. 1 pair for work and another for casual wear.

39. Time you normally get up? Half past 6 if I have to go to the office. Otherwise, I’ll wake up for morning prayer and continue sleeping until half an hour before I have to clock in. On weekends, I continue sleeping until closer to 10 o’clock. If I stayed up the night, probably closer to noon.

40. Which do you prefer, sunrise or sunset? Sunset all the way, because it’s the beginning of my favourite time of the day. Yes, I’m a vampire who loves the night. I also love necks

41. How many blankets on your bed? One and only. It’s too hot to wear even a thin blanket but it gets cold around 3 am so I have to be prepared.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. I like the design of Portmeirion table set from the early 2000s.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. It’s not photography material, but it’s not dirty or messy or anything.

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink.

45. Do you play cards? No. I don’t play anything that requires other people to join me (yes, I am a lone ranger).

46. What colour is your car? The Nissan partner and distributor in my country calls it Dark Metal Grey. It does look nice.

47. Can you change a tire? I can, but I wouldn’t. With free towing service, why should I bother?

48. Your favourite state or province? I was practically born and raised here so I cannot pick a favourite.

49. Favourite job you’ve had? I would say my previous job, because our team had a fantastic working relationship, and everyone was crazy enough to entertain my antics as the maknae.

tagging: @kdramastuff (I know you don’t do this stuff but I just wanna tag you :p) @becausenothingtodo @aromaticcedarwood @dramaintherain @dohyunsoo @kuronekonerochan @park-joonyoung @psalm40speakstome @myechoecho @ambedoanxiety @outside-seoul (that is 10 tags right because I only tag the first one to annoy her :ppp)

[dreaming-gamer]

Magic Touch – Nero X V Chapter 4

Firefighter Nero x Massage Therapist V

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story! 💜💜💜 I'm sorry this chapter took so long to finish, but it's longer than usual! I hope you enjoy! 😀😀😀

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Nero could admit he struggled to not gaze out his window, just to check the process of V’s move for the rest of the day. Whenever he realized his gaze had stuck on the moving truck, or just straight over to the other apartment, he tried to keep busy for a bit. Cleaning up his own apartment was an efficient way to get rid of some energy because hey, even though he hadn’t gotten V’s number this time either, at least they were actual neighbors! That was still something to be happy, not to mention feel hopeful about. When the apartment looked great, he sat down on the couch, trying to occupy his mind with checking the TV.

The distance between his and V’s new home was too far for Nero to really see what was going within the apartment but dammit if his curiosity didn’t make him try, even from the couch. But when sight didn’t help, he turned to imagination.

And when he had been imagining for long enough, at least until he realized that an episode of the current show Nico had ordered him to try watching, Once Upon a Time, had passed with him having no memories of what happened in it, he abruptly tried to stop. Not watching the show, that felt like something Kyrie would enjoy, rather than Nico that was usually so much more into sci-fi shows, but thinking about V.

Or at least trying to stop. The gears in his mind seemed determined to spin in only one direction, producing more thoughts about V.

Nero’s gaze went one more time toward the window and he groaned, stretching himself out further on the soft couch. With a jab at the remote, he paused the show and let his thoughts be heard. Maybe he could head over, just ask how the move was going? But V was probably too busy focusing on his new home to want to see Nero. Or maybe he’d be happy for the distraction? Maybe he wouldn’t mind Nero’s help?

But then again, V already had the help of the moving company to get his furniture in place… maybe Nero was just better off praying for them to meet in the door or something soon, but he had no clue how V’s schedule looked or anything and he still didn’t have that stupid number dammit—

A simple guitar riff, only a few notes, made him aware of a new message from none other than Nico. Stretching his arm toward the living room table, Nero grabbed his phone, unlocked it and swiped the screen once, revealing the message in its entirety. Not that the content made him any wiser.

“Alright, ya can thank me now.” That was all it said, together with a ton of emojis, including a satisfied devil emoji. Nico had cackled at him, through text, when he had revealed that V’s number had escaped him, yet again, but then she had gotten back to work. Rather than trying to figure out whatever crazy plot or invention she had come up with now, he found it easier to cut to the chase:

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” Nero sent back, checking what time it was. 16:42, meaning work was almost over for her, of course that meant she’d start texting again. It took mere moments for him to get the next message.

“Your mysterious massage therapist friend called a while ago! He’s coming around to pick up the car tomorrow instead so I’m giving you a heads up!” More emojis before the message continued. “But that’s not even the best part!”

Nero waited, for about a minute or two for the continuation, but there was none. With quick thumbs, he tapped a reply. The heads up was certainly a ticket for him to once again try to get V’s number… but what else had she planned?

“Don’t leave me hanging! What’s the best part?”

“He asked if there was any way to rent a car trailer, says there’s something he needs to pick up. I asked what and he said bookshelves! Big ones!”

“How’s that the best part? Not following, Nico!”

“Duh! Ya don’t got work tomorrow, right? I told ‘im there’s one in the back that Dante’s not using. And that ya can help him out!”

Nero stared at the screen. Was she serious? His heart sped up from the feeling of hope.

“What did he say?!” Had V accepted the suggestion?

“I think ya might have a shot here Romeo, cuz he said yes, if yer fine with it. Took the liberty to say yeah for ya, so ya better holler yourself over here tomorrow at 4 in the afternoon, sharp!”

“Got it, will be there!” Nero hadn’t really asked for this favor but… it was nice of her to arrange it. “Thanks, I owe ya.”

“Music to ma ears!” Lots of emojis followed. “I’ll call in the favor when needed.” The mischievous emoji that followed made him think that she might have watched the show just a little too much recently.

“I took a break from watching. And I can get you an iced latte tomorrow.”

“That’s what I wanna hear! Make it extra strong and ask for some cream on top!”

Nero shook his head with a grin, Nico was the same as ever and while he wouldn’t admit it to her face, he loved her for it.

“Roger that.”

***

Nero felt like giving a shout of victory when the clock finally closed in on 4 ‘o clock. Anticipation had kept him checking the time way too often during the day, only to find that not as much time as he had hoped had passed, every check. But now, with half an hour to spare, he was ready, dressed in a chill hoodie with short sleeves and a new pair of shorts as he descended the steps. Maybe he should knock on V’s door and ask if he wanted to walk together to the garage, or he could simply walk ahead and meet V there…

Nero’s thoughts were cut short as V emerged from his new apartment building, wearing a cotton shirt, with only a few of the buttons buttoned over a black t-shirt with no print, and black trousers. The massage therapist seemed to notice him immediately, meeting him without a cane in his hands today.

“Good afternoon, Nero.” His voice was deep, smooth and accompanied by that smirk that made the butterflies in Nero’s stomach return full force.

“Hey.” Nero grinned back. “Heard from Nico you need some help. What was it, picking up bookshelves?”

V’s smirk remained and he gave a little nod.

“That is correct. She offered your assistance, with the words that you don’t have work today.”

“Well, she was right. Just promised her to get an iced latte before showing up at the garage, you fine with making that small detour?”

“No problem at all.” V claimed as they started to walk to their destination.

“So how’s it going, settling in and all?” Nero was looking forward to seeing a glimpse of how V’s apartment could look, even if it was probably a bit messy still.

“The furniture is all in place thankfully. I do admit that the unpacking of the boxes has not been as… swift as I would have liked. I had to leave for work, just after the moving company left yesterday.”

“Whoa, were you okay getting there without your car?” Nero wondered, there weren’t that many buses that passed by V’s working place, from what he knew.

“Let’s just say I arrived… a while before my assigned time, courtesy to the bus.” V smirked.

“Man, if I’d known, I’d have given you a ride again.” The words slipped out of Nero’s mouth before he even had time to think about them. “Didn’t have work yesterday.”

“I see. Thank you, for the offer.”

In his peripheral vision, Nero noticed that devilish smirk soften a bit. The butterflies in his stomach flew around with greater force.

“No need to thank me when the offer’s a bit too late!” He pointed out, one hand scratching the back of his head.

“Hm. I’d say that it’s the thought that counts.” V replied, just as they arrived at the café.

"You want anything?" Nero offered, he didn't need anything for himself, but it was a hot day.

"I'm fine, thank you." While Nero went inside, meeting the pleasant chill of an aircon, V waited outside on a bench in the shade. With V's sort of pale complexion, Nero had a feeling the sun could be an enemy. It didn’t take long for Nero to appear again, holding the iced latte, custom made after Nico's preferences.

Had Nero been the one waiting on that bench, he knew he would have had his focus on some silly mobile game or something. But V? His eyes seemed glued to the pages of a leatherbound book, with an emblazoned V on the cover.

"That's how you got your nick?" Nero joked with a nod to the book.

V chuckled.

"I admit it is my favorite… But that is not the case. It's the fifth edition." He replied, standing up. As V left the shade, Nero could see hints of dark bags under V’s eyes.

“Of what? Poetry?” Nero guessed, did novels even get published in five editions?

“Correct.” V smirked. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.” Nero nodded, matching the massage therapist’s stride while holding back a comment to ask if V had been sleeping too little. There was a slight slouch to V’s shoulders too, Nero noted.

The last of the walk didn’t take them long, the iced latte in Nero’s hand still cold when they stepped into the garage, Nico greeting them with a grin.

“Hiya! Yer beauty is all ready, attached the car trailer for ya!” She proclaimed, handing the car keys to V.

“Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. I shall return it tomorrow.” V took the keys with a polite smile.

“Great! There’s just the little extra payment for renting that, so let’s get it outta the way huh?” Nico showed the way towards the office, grabbing the iced latte from Nero with a wink and a grin. V followed her, while Nero remained, glancing at V’s car. It did look better than it had when it had been standing by the road, dripping oil a few days ago. And now, they were neighbors. Actual neighbors. Nero sometimes felt like he needed to pinch himself to be sure this wasn’t a dream...

It didn’t take long for Nico and V to return, the massage therapist giving Nero a smile.

“Are we ready then?”

Nico grinned knowingly at Nero from behind V, giving him a knowing grin as if to say: “Oh, I think yer ready alright.”

Nero had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at her, because V wasn’t aware of what was happening behind his back.

“Yeah, ready when you are. Let’s go. See you around, Nico.”

“See ya!” The mechanic grinned at them and opened up the garage gate for them, while the guys got into the car. Inside, the car seemed very clean, mostly because there wasn’t a lot of things in it. Nero only spotted a pair of sunglasses, close to the gear lever. The seats were old, like the rest of the car, but clean and comfortable. Upon starting, the engine sounds were surprisingly pleasant, not really rumbling, but rather a soft purring.

Nero waved at Nico as they passed the garage gate, just as she pulled out a cigarette to smoke. V’s driving was calm and steady.

“I’m grateful you agreed to help me with this, Nero.” The massage therapist admitted softly.

“Hey, no worries. Are we heading for the furniture store?”

“Not exactly, I found an advertisement.” V replied. “As long as you pick the bookshelves up yourself, they are completely free. The lady that posted the offer is apparently moving to a much smaller space, and will have no room for them.”

“Sounds like a great deal to me.” Nero grinned, and honestly, with V’s arms so twiggy… he could imagine why he needed some help.

When they arrived and he got to see the size of the two bookshelves himself, he was definitely glad he’d accompanied V. The bookshelves looked nice, he could admit, but they were two meters tall and made of rather heavy wood. With his regular training as a firefighter, Nero wasn’t worried for himself, but could V take it..?

He got his answer pretty quickly, since they had to cooperate to get the bookshelves onto the car trailer and Nero’s uncertainty must have shown, because V sent him a smirk when they grabbed a hold of a side each.

“I am not so frail Nero, remember?”

“Right, sorry.” The tips of Nero’s ears burned, he remembered very well how V had proved the strength, or perhaps rather technique he had, despite his lean frame. Both of them giving a nod, they started to carry the first shelf between them. It was heavy, but Nero’s grip was firm and he walked slowly to make sure V could keep up. With just one verbal confirmation that everything was going alright on both sides, they soon loaded the first shelf onto the car trailer and their cooperation went just as seamlessly with the second one.

“Well, that went great!” Nero grinned, tightening the last strap around the furniture before they could go and he was delighted to see V smirk back at him.

“Indeed. Let us hope it will go as smoothly, transporting them up three floors.”

Nero couldn’t lie, it sounded heavy. But it also meant he’d see a glimpse of V’s new apartment.

“Don’t worry, we got this.” His grin widened at the amused grin in V’s eyes.

***

“You… have been a great help.” Nero turned to find V smiling at him.

The apartment was still rather chaotic, consisting of two rooms. Taped boxes were still stacked here and there but from the furniture, most of it in wooden, natural colors, that was already in place, the apartment seemed nice. The smaller room contained the bed and now, the two bookshelves against the opposite wall.

“Told you we got this. No need to thank me.” Nero grinned.

Nero wondered how many bookshelves one person could need, because he counted four big ones, so far, compared to the single one in his own home. And he had lost count of how many of the boxes had “books” written on them.

“I would still like to. Would you like to stay for dinner? If you do not mind takeout? My treat.” V suggested.

Nero’s heart did a small, happy jump in his chest.

“Sounds great, I’m craving some good Chinese.”

V chuckled.

“Then perhaps you have a good recommendation?” He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly, with that charming little smirk on his lips.

“You bet I do.”

***

“I am honestly surprised you could eat that.” V looked at him curiously, when Nero finished his takeout dish of hot noodles, the sauce spicy and a bit sweet due to the touch of peanut. V’s vegetable wok looked really tasty too, but he was eating much slower than Nero.

“It’s not that spicy, just a pleasant tingle on my lips.”

“I would most likely find that too much. I do not eat spicy dishes very often.” V admitted, putting down his finished box on the round living room table before leaning back into the couch.

After all the unpacking, there seemed to be a slight slouch to V’s shoulders, even though he was sitting down to relax. It had been a nice experience, eating takeout by someone else’s living room table for once. Since Nero broke up with Kyrie, it hadn’t really been a common occurence to eat with someone else.

“You know, I could massage you?” The words stumbled out of Nero’s mouth before he had time to think about them.

V’s eyes widened.

“Pardon?”

“You look like your shoulders could need it. Come on, I can at least try, right?” Nero pressed, hoping the grin on his face looked as innocent as he wanted it to be.

V’s lips curled into a small smile.

“Very well.” With long fingers, he started to unbutton the soft cotton shirt, as he turned his back to Nero. The intricate patterns of the tattoos on his arms came into view, as he was now wearing only a black t-shirt on his upper body.

“I will tell you if you need to use more… force.” V’s tone was teasing.

Nero snorted, but the sound came out more as a chuckle.

“I apologized, didn’t I? Maybe you should tell me when I need to use less.” Nero set his hands on V’s slim shoulders and started to knead. Careful touches wasn’t his strong suit, but Nero did try to not put too much force into his palms or fingers. V’s skin was so pale under the tattoos, looked like it could bruise from so little, but he didn’t seem to complain yet. Until Nero found a rather big knot and V’s entire being stiffened.

“Sorry, too much?” Nero was about to take his hands off him, but V’s voice made him pause.

“No, if you do not mind… continue. It would help a great deal… to get rid of it.” V sounded like he was talking through clenched teeth.

“You sure?” Nero was doing this to help him relax, not make him stiff with pain!

“It will be worth it. And a knot like this is quite hard to get rid of, on your own.” The massage therapist replied firmly. Nero didn’t find it within himself to refuse, because V looked like he honestly could need it. Especially after the bookshelves they had worked together to carry up the stairs.

“Alright, if you say so…” Nero slowly put his hands more firmly on V’s shoulders, closing in on the knot and started to knead at it a bit more gently. He shifted between using his fingers and his palms, took note of when V seemed to be pained, or when he was fine. V gave him some pointers that made it easier to focus. Heat engulfed Nero’s fingers, not just from the massage he was giving, but also from how V’s pale skin was flushing so red that Nero could feel the heat through the t-shirt.

When Nero felt the knot dissolve a few minutes later, he swore he could both see and feel V’s back sag, a light sigh escaping the therapist’s lips. It wasn’t hard to feel that there were a few more minor knots here and there, but for now, maybe this would have to do. Nero used his fingers and knuckles for some gentle strokes over V’s skin. The massage therapist said nothing, his head sagging a little bit, as if he was collecting himself.

“Hey, lean back a bit.” Nero suggested, before he gently pulled on V’s shoulders, keeping his grip steady and V didn’t protest, letting himself be guided backwards. He blinked as his head ended up in Nero’s lap, but his eyes remained half-lidded.

“Blood rush to your brain?” Nero guessed with a smile, wow, V’s black hair looked silky, this close.

“Yes, a minor one.” V replied quietly, remaining where he was. Nero noted the dark bags under those beautiful green eyes again and the realization ached in his chest.

“You’re taking care of people for a living, but who’s taking care of you?” The words slipped out without Nero meaning to say them. The move, his work… V seemed to be working himself too hard.

V’s eyes widened, just a tiny bit, as if he clearly was not expecting those words. He opened those plump lips, paused before letting them form a fond smile.

“You need not worry, it is just a stressful period. Once I am more properly settled in, I am sure it will be better.”

“You’re not doing anything relaxing each week, are you?” Nero tried to keep his voice light and casual, but he found himself unwilling to let the subject go, just yet.

V chuckled, a light hint of tiredness in the sound.

“Are you using the words of my profession against me?”

“It seems like I need to.” Nero pointed out, then he puckered his lips in a rather humorous manner.

“One relaxing activity per week, like a bath… or a swim. Or if you find it relaxing, a massage.” He made sure to make his voice sound deliberate and deep, but in a completely over the top way.

Another chuckle left V, sounding close to a laugh.

“I do not sound like that. Nor do I look like that.”

“You do.” Nero grinned, still using his makeshift voice.

V stilled his next chuckle and locked eyes with him.

“Then, are you offering?” The smirk that grew on his face gave Nero’s good shivers down his back. Until he realized his mind had ground to a halt. Had he heard that right? V just watched him and Nero wasn’t sure what was on offer here.

“Huh?”

“To remind me, once per week. We will be living… close to each other now so perhaps… we can remind each other? Once per week, to do something relaxing.” V explained smoothly, observing his confusion, while Nero was still processing what he had heard. It sounded like he was dreaming.

Something forlorn came over V’s green eyes and he averted his gaze, but the smirk remained. “Pardon if my suggestion does not sit well with you, never mind it--”

“Sure.” The word stumbled out of Nero’s mouth, but he had never felt more sure about anything before. Whatever those moments would include just a massage or two, or a small talk or maybe… maybe a date, he didn’t know but either way, he was all for reminding V to relax, at least once a week. “Definitely, I’m in. It’s a good plan.” He quickly added, almost rambling. His heart skipped a beat when V’s smirk softened into a smile, his green eyes lighting up with mirth.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He replied softly, slowly straightening up from Nero’s lap, the slouch to his shoulders less noticeable.

Nero was watching him and V was observing him in turn. The living room was still filled with a few boxes, the smell of Chinese food in the air. Nero couldn’t help it, his eyes went to those plump, attractive lips.

V seemed to notice, as he chuckled. The flushed skin on his neck and shoulders wa returning to its original color. Tattoos peeked out under his t-shirt, just a few lines on his throat and Nero wondered again, how much they must have hurt to make.

Nero felt a shiver down his spine as V’s long, slightly cool fingers cupped his warm cheek.

This was happening. His heart beat like crazy as he leaned in, feeling V’s warm exhale on his lips…

And V’s phone rang.

He didn’t miss the flash of defeat in V’s eyes. Nero’s hand reached for V’s cheek, about to silently ask him to ignore it, just for now.

“Pardon me.” V said quietly, pulling away as he stood up, moved to collect his phone on the kitchen counter. Nero lowered his hand, along with the stone forming in his stomach.

“Yes?”

What followed was conversation that Nero barely caught, because he sank into the couch with a huge sigh. His heart still beat hard, like a drum at a festival. It had been so close! And V seemed occupied with whatever the call was about, in the kitchen.

Was the moment stolen? Gone? Would they continue when V returned? Nero felt himself gripping one of the soft cushions V had placed on the couch earlier, he really didn’t know what to do with his hands, or himself.

“I beg your pardon, I am a bit preoccupied at this… yes, yes… Is there truly no one else that can…?” A pause, a soft inhale of breath. “Very well, I understand. I will arrive shortly.” Nero didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but his stomach dropped at the words. It felt like V’s chance for relaxation tonight was slipping out of his fingers.

The apologetic look on V’s face as he returned, confirmed his suspicions.

“I apologize, but I appear to be urgently needed elsewhere.”

Nero gave a small nod, holding in the disappointment that created a small twinge in his chest. V looked bothered, so Nero pushed it down, for now.

“Everything alright?”

“I am part of a… association for literature lovers, I suppose you could call it. We are but a group of individuals that sometime gather for discussions about various pieces of literature. We sometimes attempt to arrange various activities, such as book fairs.” V explained, seemingly checking his schedule in a leather bound calendar. There was no sound of a sigh on his lips, but it could be seen in how his shoulders seemed to tense, again.

“We are meant to host a public poetry reading, pretty soon. I have been asked to help arrange it, as well as participating. Now, we have encountered some unforeseen difficulties and my presence has been requested to solve it.” V looked up again, lips slightly parted. The mirth in his eyes from earlier seemed replaced by determined calculation.

Nero felt his heart sink, for two reasons. The moment was completely gone with the wind, or rather the tones of a cellphone signal. And V was probably not going to relax anymore tonight.

“I truly apologize, Nero.” V said, his tone quiet. “I’m afraid I must be going.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Nero assured quickly. Sure, he was disappointed that this was cut short, but it seemed to be for something really important for V. Poetry seemed to be so close to his heart. Nero didn’t want to stand in the way for that, he rose from the couch easily. “It’s fine, really. We can just do this… some other time?” There was a small hope in his voice, he couldn’t help it.

V smiled, his gaze softening a bit.

“Yes, I would like that. Let’s remind each other, once per week.”

“Once a week.” Nero agreed, as V followed him to the door of the apartment where half of the things still needed to be put in order. “You taking the car?”

“No, it is within walking distance.” Nero opened his mouth, about to offer to walk with him, but slowly closed it again. Perhaps V needed time to think, he didn’t want to act stubborn. Silence drifted between them, broken only by their steps down the stairs.

“Oh, and Nero?” V said as they stepped outside his apartment building, about to separate. “Thank you for the wonderful massage.”

Nero felt his cheeks, as well as the tips of his ears blush red at the compliment, especially since that smirk was in place again. V chuckled as he held his cane in a sure grip.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later!” The heat in Nero’s cheeks didn’t lessen as he watched V go. A massage therapist, a poet. A man with a determined gaze and a new apartment, suddenly living right across the street from Nero’s.

He walked into his own apartment, touching his lips lightly, feeling those damn butterflies flutter around in his stomach again. It had been so close and yet so far. But they had made a promise now, there was hope. And Nero had a plan, he’d just go get some paper from his apartment…

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Tagging: @la-vita and @thedyingmoon 💜💜💜

[themangoyogurt]

Between 29th & Astoria: The Fire Iron Named Ren

Chapter Two

Kylo Ren begins to push you to your limits at the office. Much to his surprise, you begin to push back.

You quickly realized that although Mr. Ren had little to say to your face, he certainly made up for it in e-mails and text messages. Receiving a free company phone certainly came with strings attached as the shiny black device pinged for the tenth time in the last hour.

Kylo Ren | 10:42 AM | Coffee.

PA3281 | 10:43 AM | What would you like, Mr. Ren?

You rolled your eyes. They really did treat everyone here like faceless droids. They couldn’t even bother to input your real name into the system. Instead, you were regarded as “personal assistant 3281” - PA3281. Sighing, your phone buzzed again.

Kylo Ren | 10:45 AM | Did you not go through orientation with the idiots downstairs?

Ah, fuck! You quickly whipped out the folder Phasma had placed on your desk. Flipping through the sheets, one stuck out. Bullet point after bullet point of information regarding Kylo’s preferences. His dry cleaner, how he took his coffee and which shops he preferred, his mechanic, and other relevant facts to your job as a glorified servant. How could you have missed something so obvious?

Quickly sending a message of apology to Mr. Ren, you scrambled from your seat and shot downstairs as quickly as possible. Pulling up GPS you noticed that the nearest “acceptable” coffee shop was four blocks away. The trip should have been quick, but stumbling down the streets of New York in a panic while wearing stilettos didn’t do you much good. You might as well have been Bambi learning to walk at this point.

Thirty-five minutes later, you burst into the office with a large black Americano in tow. Smoothing down the front of your shirt with one hand, you gave the double doors a sharp rap.

A low baritone drawled, “Enter.”

Taking a sharp breath, you eased the doors open and stepped inside. Your nerves were on edge. You hadn’t actually spoken to your boss face-to-face yet. Kylo was leaning back in his seat staring into a monitor. One hand lazily moved a mouse around while the other thumbed through a leather bound notebook.

“Your coffee, sir.”

Without looking up, he gestured for you to hand him the cup. The moment it reached his hands, he turned to dump it into the trash can next to his desk.

“Sir!” You squeaked in surprise. Your hands began to play with themselves out of nervousness as a heavy air descended upon the room. Still flipping through the pages of his notebook, Kylo replied, “Do you presume that I enjoy drinking cold coffee?”

“No, sir.”

“Did you bump your head and forget the way back to work?”

“No, sir.”

“Then why did it take you so long?”

You nervously shuffled your feet back and forth as you felt Kylo’s harsh gaze take you in for the first time. Shit. You were creating scuff marks on his floor. Your voice was timid as it quietly responded, “Sir, the nearest coffeeshop was four blocks away. I...I had to walk, and in my current uniform...”

His eyes slowly roved up and down your body and your hands clenched as your heard the man scoff, “Your excuses do not interest me.”

Kylo’s eyes maintained a heavy stare for a moment longer before he turned to his computer once again. The sound of clicking filled the awkward silence, and you took that as your cue to leave. Turning your back to the man, you didn’t notice as he looked up once again to gaze in your direction.

His eyes remained unwavering even as your body slipped through the crack of his front door.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

It was well past dinner now, and the streets of Astoria were barren save for one or two poor souls hurrying off the N train at this hour. Despite the exhaustion in your bones, it was this nighttime scene that made you fall in love with New York City. The streets were wet with a sudden summer downpour and they were reflecting the beautiful city lights. Even the sound of a lone cab whizzing by was therapeutic to your ears.

Although the real reason you chose to live in Queens was the simple fact that you couldn’t afford anywhere else, you still fell in love with the borough. The apartments weren’t as high, and it still had a neighborhood feel to it. You even found a great place near the East River, which afforded a stunning view of the New York City skyline.

Kicking down the sidewalk, you finally arrived at your apartment. It was once a three story house, but the owners had converted each floor to an apartment after their boys moved out. The first floor was yours, while your kindly landlord and his wife took the second. The third belonged to two fun, but rowdy, roommates you had recently become friends with. Seeing “P. Dameron and F. Storm” in scratchy script by the buzzer always put a smile on your face.

Your hand loving ran over your own little piece of paper. Your first initial and last name settled prettily next to your roommate’s - “R. Tico”. It wasn’t much, but it was yours. And oh if that wasn’t enough to fill your heart with joy. Quietly unlocking the front door, you stepped into a dimly lit hallway. The corridor ended with a door in the front, and opened up into a staircase to the left.

You unlocked the door to your apartment and your senses were assaulted with the smell of rosemary and thyme mingled with oil and meat.

“Rose, I’m home!”

Shuffling sounded from the kitchen before laughter and groans erupted from the dining area. Peeking around the corner, you saw your roommate and the two upstairs neighbors sitting around a small table. Rose shot up and shimmied her shoulders towards your direction as she chanted, “I win! I win! I win!”

You looped an arm around around the girl’s shoulders and laughed, “What did you win?”

Finn, the taller man, stood and chortled, “We were betting how late your boss would make you stay tonight. Rose bet nine. I was aiming for ten, while Poe was being annoying and bet on nine forty-five.”

Sighing, you pulled the elastic out of your ponytail before running a hand through the soft locks. You moaned, “Well I’m glad that my nightmare is your entertainment.” Pausing for a second, you pushed a finger into Rose’s chest and muttered, “You better split that prize with me!”

She laughed and tugged you into the kitchen as Poe pulled a chair out for you. She gave you a quick hug and teased, “Don’t be mad. I saved you dinner! Plus, the boys are going to treat us to drinks at Sweet Afton, right?”

Rose gave the men a pointed look and they quickly nodded in return. Life in New York was hard, but this ragtag group of individuals was definitely easing the harshness of the city.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Days began to bleed together as the workplace torment grew. You swore that Mr. Ren would randomly throw your coffees away periodically just to keep you on your toes. If it wasn’t the coffee, then he was tossing books against the wall or complaining about how slow you were. Once, he even printed out an e-mail and used red marker to edit the errors before slapping it on your desk.

Of course the bastard would wait until your lunch break to do so. He wanted to make sure that everyone who passed by would see.

Every time the man lashed out, you swore you saw a glint in his eyes. As if he were testing you. Playing with his food. The man loved watching you squirm, and you swore it was some sort of sick game for the egotistical deviant. Wasn’t he supposed to be running an empire? Not fucking around with his assistant.

As each workday passed, he continued to move the line of what was acceptable further and further away. Always testing your limits, and always smirking when you’d relent. Too afraid of losing your job. Too scared of standing up to the dark and foreboding man. Over the course of two months you had already missed Rose’s birthday, the opening night of Finn’s off Broadway play, and countless dinners and drinks. Enough was enough.

It was four in the morning. Four in the fucking morning. Just the thought of chasing down a night bus in your stilettos made you want to run a heel through the back of Mr. Ren’s head. Sure, if you had actual work to do at least you could somehow justify your presence in the office. But every time you’d poke your head into his office and offer coffee or food, he’d snarl in your direction and demand silence. And when you asked if you could be dismissed (since your peace offerings of beverages and other consumable products were rudely rejected), he all but basically lost it.

You were sure that he’d probably have a more productive evening if he hadn’t spent thirty minutes lecturing you on responsibility and “pulling your weight”. Your head fell forward and hit the glass desk underneath as your internally moaned. Apparently standards were low here at First Order, since sitting around at your desk playing solitaire counted as “pulling your weight”. The bottom righthand corner of your computer flickered as 4:38 changed to 4:39.

Fuck. This. Shit.

You were done. You were done with Mr. Ren and the First Order. The money wasn’t worth the abuse of power. You’d rather go back to waiting tables at the TGI Friday’s in Times Square than put up with Mr. Ren. You weren’t a secretary. You were a fucking babysitter. You were going home, and even scary ol’ Mr. Ren wouldn’t have anything to say about it. Quickly gathering up your personal belongings, you stood and stretched before marching towards his sleek black double doors with determination.

Pushing it open, you stepped into the darkened room with as much courage as possible. The man was sitting with his back to you as he stared out the window at the skyline. The sun was just barely dancing over the cityscape, and for a second it seemed as if Mr. Ren was sleeping.

“Have you come back to annoy me with another useless suggestion?”

“No, Mr. Ren.”

“Then I suggest you return to your desk where you belong.”

“No, Mr. Ren.”

He suddenly swiveled around with a force strong enough to create whiplash. His eyes darkened as he stood to consider you. Your back was straightened as you tightly clutched onto the handles of your bag.

“Excuse me?”

You took a slow breath and prayed for your voice to remain steady even if your hands were shaking. Breathing out, you plainly stated, “With all due respect, I do not ‘belong’ at my desk, Mr. Ren. While I am happy to assist you to my fullest capabilities during working hours, I must draw a line at four in the morning. You do not own me, Mr. Ren. If you’re looking for someone to control and mistreat, then unfortunately I am not the woman for you. I am taking my leave now, and I will return tomorrow morning at eight in the morning sharp. Goodnight, Mr. Ren.”

He remained motionless as you squarely maintained eye contact. With no rebuttal in sight, you gave him one last nod before turning on your heel and marching right out of the room. Meanwhile, a lopsided smile tugged at Kylo’s lips as excitement danced in his chest. He knew there was fire in there somewhere. And it delighted the man to no end knowing that he was the source of pulling that foreign emotion out of your timid nature.

[imnotrevealingmyname]

For fanfic writer questions: All. Of. Them. Alternatively: 15. 21 and 25

Lmao 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm doing all of them.

1. Phone, on Google docs. My phone is an absolute mess.

2. Fanfiction? About two years ago. Don't ask about original stuff. Oof

3. Loki fics, poems.

4. Both? Both. Both is good.

5. Terrible. Ok I'm kidding, I'd describe it as poetic, in a way? Overly poetic is good, ig. But it's also overly dramatic- something I hate seeing in people. Which makes me a hypocrite, ig. Lmao.

But in all honesty, I'm pretty flexible in my writing. Even while writing poems, I can easily shift from writing about EXTREMELY dark stuff (trust me, you don't wanna know) to something light and fluffy, which is a good thing, I guess? But it also feels a bit suffocating sometimes because I have a habit of reading my stuff from the POV of a reader, once I'm done with writing it. So I try to make it as bearable as possible. People nowadays don't always like intense stuff, and since I'm a freaky gal who started reading Shakespeare in third grade, it becomes difficult for me to give up my very intense style of writing. I probably don't make sense, but, uh. Whatever. Point is, I'm not perfect.

6. Random stuff. Seriously. My cupboard can set me off in a writing frenzy- most of the time,however, I don't even know what inspiration is. I meet her very infrequently- so infrequently that she's very forgettable :')

7. No? Sometimes? A couple of my fics were inspired by songs, I suppose. I also unpublished one, if I remember correctly.

8. The title. Oh god, that always makes me lose sleep. And also, the descriptions. Either I'm overly descriptive, or I end up writing a whole one shot in less than 300 words. Why Am I An Idiom is going to be the name of my autobiography, if I ever write one. (And yes, it's is Idiom. Long story.)

9. I don't really have any fixed place for writing. I've been known to write poems in the bathroom, so

10. Do I have a current WIP? I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with them. All I've been writing lately are one shots.

11. I don't count, but I have over 45 drafts

12. If you're talking about fics, then there's this fic I wrote, called Alien Ardour, a few months ago. I unpublished it due to several reasons, but I honestly love it. Also, I really like my one shots Scandalous and Silenced.

13. Like in total? What's 63+48+9? And it's ongoing.

14. Loki. Duh. And death. I love writing about death :')

15. OCs if it's multichapter, reader insert (NO Y/N, PLEASE, TAKE THAT AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS POSSIBLE) if it's a one shot.

16. Repetitive question.

17. The Soul Trade. A few chapters were for aesthetics, but ok.

18. Loki. Only Loki. And uh.... Drarry. That's my fricking OTP.

19. @caffiend-queen. I love several other authors but she's always the first to come to my mind when I'm asked this question.

20. No

21. Coffee shop AU 😂 I don't even regret this

22. Idiots to lovers

23. 2 years. Fun fact: my first fic was a Drarry fic. I love it so much that it's still on Wattpad, even though I've not updated it in like a year.

24. Haven't we all?

25. Motivation? Who? What? Okay I'm kidding, I read fanfics. Seriously. Either I reread my own and edit them to sorta get back the feel of writing, or I end up reading a new fic. Smut who?

26. I was eight when I started writing, for heaven's sake. I don't remember.

27. If you're talking about fanfiction, then it's definitely @ohhhmyloki and @latent-thoughts (Tumblr won't let me tag y'all, for some reason). I used to write before I read their works but I quite literally began my journey with smut after reading their fics. And I don't think any of my fics written before that even exist anymore. But if we're talking about writing in general, then it's O Henry and Bernard Shaw. Maybe Gerald Durrell. Did I mention that I love Gerald Durrell?

28. Loki.

29. Idiotic. Messy. Freaky.

30. Um, I don't really wanna say this, but it's Just A Kiss Goodnight. It may be my most 'famous' fic, but it's definitely not the best. For one thing, I wrote it in less than a week, and I haven't edited it. And there's no fucking smut. I'm not saying that smut is necessary to make a fic good, but it doesn't have any intimacy in it. It's definitely not boring, I'll give it that, but it's childish.

31. Wtf is the difference

32. What kinda question is this

33. One shot? Depends. I can be freaky fast and write one in less than fifteen minutes, or I can take literal weeks to finish one.

34. Dude, what's the normal font in android? I have no idea. But one of my favourites is monotype corsiva, when I'm on my laptop.

35. Both.

36. I don't

37. All of my works, oof 😂 well, no. But there's this fic I've written, called Let's Get Drunk Together. And another. It's called Three Isn't A Crowd, After All. Cringy af

38. Smut. Dark poetry.

39. WHY ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS REPEATED? It's idiots to lovers, ffs

40. On Tumblr? Average is 60, I think.

41. Yes

42. Writing.

43. All the time

44. Yes

45. I can be as thirsty and smutty as I want without being judged, bless fanfiction.

46. The "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO MY HEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING AHHHHHHHHHHHH AND WHY AM I SO AROUSED AT THIS TIME OF ALL TIMES AND WHY IS THIS ANGSTY GIVE ME FLUFF" feeling. Not to brag, but I'm very good at that.

47. I can do anything and everything I want. I can make a unicorn fuck a werewolf and nobody will judge me. Or maybe they will.

48. Yes- Wattpad and Ao3.

49. Google docs, word.

50. Fucking Y/N. Like, not literally fucking Y/N, but uh- I mean, I'd totally fuck my clone? But Y/N isn't me, I hate Y/N. And I hate people who just comment on your fic to promote their own fics. We write for your happiness, please at least do the courtesy of appreciating that and not disrespecting our efforts. Most of us spend nights lying awake to give you stuff to read. And also, people who just comment to say,"Update," two minutes after you've just updated. That's RUDE.

51. High school AU

52. Cock, pussy, salacious, sepulchral, pulchritudinous....... I don't have a one track mind I swear

53. Giggled. FUCKING GIGGLED. I don't understand WHY people have this tendency of writing,"she giggled," and,"he chuckled." I don't know why but GIGGLED sounds like something not EVEN a simpering schoolgirl would do. I don't giggle. Not once have I seen peeps who write GIGGLE associate GIGGLE with men, which is something that I find very disturbing and sexist. Call me biased, go on. But I might not even have been here now because I'm from THAT orthodox and sexist a family, and if they'd been any more sexist, I'd have been killed after birth, so don't even dare to come near me with a ten foot pole if you're sexist.

54. Well, yes, I think. I certainly don't hate it, or I wouldn't write.

Dang, I spent over half an hour writing that. Hope that made even an iota of sense.

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

can we get Dorothea w/ “Sorry for calling so late - I couldn’t stop thinking about you” please?

Pairing: Dorothea x Reader

Prompt: “Sorry for calling so late– I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Description: You could hardly fathom a reason to be awake this early, considering the night you had last night. Dorothea gives you one and then some.

Content Warning: None!

Rating: sfw

Word Count: 747

Notes: Me, waking up hot and confused this morning; I must… create. So, who knows how many fics I’ll churn out (I woke up at like 6 am and it’s around 8, when I’m posting this, wish me luck lmao).

Edited: 6/7/21; I don;t think I changed much as it turns out this is the perfect piece and Dorthea is the perfect woman

_______________________________________________________________

It was the early hours of the morning when the sun was just daring to show its rays over the world and the birds were just starting to call out their songs. It was calm, comforting despite the fact you couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the heat of the lingering summer keeping you awake or maybe it was something else entirely but you couldn’t help but feel as if you were awake for a reason.

You were debating on whether to stay in bed and exhaust yourself until you fell back asleep or come to terms on actually being awake and start the day. You lazily gazed at your phone in the early light, sighing at the numbers on it; 30%, 4:42 AM and 4 missed texts. You tried recalling just what had happened the evening before, struggling to open your phone with its pattern in your sleepy state. Managing only after a minute of work you navigated over to your phone’s messages to find the series of texts had been from Dorothea; then you remembered, the night before you had been out with her. With how late you had been out together you were surprised to be up at this hour but perhaps more surprising was the contents of her texts. She had poured her heart out to you no later than 3 AM, texting following it explaining in more detail just what she meant and how she felt. Dorothea didn’t say this lightly, you knew but at this time you weren’t quite sure you had all your faculties to deal with this. Rereading the first few texts again it took you a minute to realize that the last text was sent within the last few minutes. An innocent ‘Can I call you?’

No sooner than had you read the words did your screen change to show Dorothea’s number, her picture filling your screen as your phone vibrated in your hands. Staring at it a moment in shock, it took you a bit to recover and answer with a sleepy “Hello…?”

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry,” She laughed softly, sounding much more awake than you but also like she had been up far too long. “I’m sorry for calling so late… I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” She sighed and you swore you could see her twirling her hair around her fingers. “I miss you, I guess.”

“Don’t be sorry, I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to talk with you.” You yawned a little wishing the sleep wasn’t so obvious in your voice. “In fact, I’m happy you called me.”

“Happy, huh?” Dorothea laughed sweetly, making your heartbeat pick up.

“Yeah, I um,” You felt shy suddenly, remembering the texts you had just read. “I saw your texts I was just… too tired to really comprehend them but… I saw them.” You admitted.

“I figured you would eventually,” Dorothea didn’t let any reaction betray her yet, staying impasse in stride with your reaction. “Don’t feel obligated to answer me immediately though, because you’re definitively worth waiting for.” Again she made your heart beat quickly, far too much for how early it was here.

“I… thank you.” You let of a gentle sigh, only to follow it with a big yawn.

“You’re still sleepy, aren’t you?” She laughed. “You can go back to bed if you want, I feel a lot better after hearing your voice.

“No I… want to stay with you.” Even as you spoke the words, you yawned again, betraying just how sleepy you were.

“Aww, how cute.” She cooed. “I can’t object to that but you’re going to be upset later when you fall asleep talking to me and your phone is dead.”

“That’s not my problem, that’s awake me’s problem.” You giggled, closing your eyes and snuggling as comfortably as you could with your phone. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Thank you for answering my call.” She hummed, feeling the sweet silence that now filled between the two of you.

“Can you sing for me?” Your voice was full of sleep, almost too gentle for Dorothea to catch.

“For you, anything.”  You couldn’t see the smile on Dorothea’s lips as she sang but you could certainly hear it in her soft voice, lulling you into a gentle slumber. Dorothea knew you would be long asleep by the time she finished singing but she found she didn’t mind too much, just happy to have caught you before you did.

[cmncisspnandmore]

Late nights; Spencer Reid x Reader.

AN: I wrote this on a whim, i thought we could all use some angst and fluff in our lives. Requests are open and so is my taglist! 

~~~~~~

You tried to keep your eyes open as the clock turned from 3:34 am to 3:35 am. Spencer had called you earlier promising you that he was going to be home from a case soon. You thought soon meant he was going to be home in a few hours. He had called at 7:46 pm, and now as the wee hours of the morning started creep up at you, you were struggling to stay awake. You were perched on the couch, your laptop resting on your lap as your latest newspaper article open on the screen.

You stretch back, and your elbows pop, you had finished the article a little over an hour ago and you had spent the last hour trying to edit the article, trying to keep yourself awake. You didn't usually wait up for Spence, but he had sounded pretty distraught over the case when he called.

Pushing your hair back, you place your laptop on the couch and stand up. A yawn escaping as you shuffle into the kitchen and turn on the coffee pot. The machine whirs to life and the faint sound of the water starting to heat up is music to your ears. You open the coffee machine and take out the old filter and replace it with another, and grab the coffee grounds out of the cabinet above it. You put a few scoops in the filter and shut it. You replace the coffee pot and press brew.

The alluring aroma fills the kitchen, and you busy your tired mind with finding the perfect mug to hold the magic bean juice. You settle on a mug you got Spencer for Christmas last year, he hadn’t found the joke funny but you sure did. It was a black mug that said “Don't worry my wife is a reporter, everything is documented.”

When Spencer had unwrapped the mug at Christmas time he innocently asked why anyone would be worried that you were a reporter. When you tried to explain it to him, telling him that they it meant no one should mess with him, he explained that it would be stupid of someone because he was FBI. Ultimately it had ruined the joke, but he still proudly used the mug whenever it was in the cabinet.

You grab the creamer from the fridge and walk back over to the coffee pot and pull it from the stand, you pour yourself some and replace the pot back on the warmer. You add in the cream and sugar, and stir it with a spoon. Dropping the spoon in the sink you, you take your coffee cup to the couch and decide to turn on the tv, you close your laptop making sure to save your work.

You settle on an episode of Friends, you had forced Spencer to watch friends with you when you two first got together and surprisingly the genius had loved the show. Since then it had become a common occurrence in your household to watch it curled up on the couch together. Spencer would even recite his favorite lines from the show in your ear softly.

You sipped on your coffee and after an episode your cup was empty, but you still felt sluggish. You place the cup on the coffee table that held more books than you could count and rest your head on your hand. Your legs tucked up under you and your other arm across your stomach in attempt to keep warm, as all the blankets in your house were too far away, to be bothered. Within a few moment you drift off and welcome the peaceful embrace of sleep.

It’s 4:42 when Dr. Spencer Reid walks through his apartment door, and sets his keys and bag down on the table by the door. He locks the door behind him and makes sure to slide the chain across. After the case he had, all he wants to do is curl up next to you and get some well needed rest.

Spencer walks into the kitchen where the coffee pot is still bubbling away on the countertop, the half full pot of coffee still being kept warm by the heating plate. He walks over and switches off the trusty coffee pot. He turns off the kitchen light and makes his way towards the living room where the tv is asking if you are still watching. He looks down at the couch and sees you curled up in a ball, an empty coffee cup set on the table in front of you.

You looked peaceful and Spencer doesn’t want to wake you to ask you to come to bed, so he opts to carry you instead. He leans down and gently lifts you bridal style into his arms. You stir slightly and Spencer freezes, he knows you fallen asleep waiting for him. You did it every time he was away as a particularly hard case. This time it took longer to get home, he had called you when the jet had taken off but they had to touch down and wait out a storm before they could finish the trip back to the BAU. So instead of being home at midnight, he got home at almost 5am.

Spencer makes his way to your shared bedroom and gently places you on your side of the bed and kisses your forehead gently. You softly sigh and turn over into the pillows and Spencer makes his way to the ensuite and starts the shower. He strips and steps into the hot shower, as he stands under the stream he can’t help the cascade of tears that start down his face. The case he was on hit close to home. A guys wife was murdered because she was working as lead reporter on a news story, and her entire team had been taken out. The Unsub was caught in the end, JJ and Morgan’s quick actions caught the guy going after a reporter from a different station.

The entire time Spencer was working the case his thoughts kept creeping back towards you. His wife, a newspaper reporter, someone who wrote about all the horrible events going on in the world so the general public would be aware of what’s going on. He kept thinking that at any point it could be you. Someone could go after you because you got stuck with the wrong story, with the wrong people and he could lose you.

He knew that you were a little more equipped to deal with someone attacking you. Spencer promised the day he stumbled into your office on accident and you smiled and invited him in for a cup of coffee. That nothing bad would ever happen to you. From the moment you smiled and joked about it being his lucky day, that you were looking for a stranger to buy coffee that he would keep you safe. He kept his promise, after a few dates and a few nights spent at his place. He took you to the shooting range and taught you how to shoot a gun. You and Spencer took self defense classes together and he always made sure to quiz you on how to get out of certain situations.

But even with everything that Spencer has taught you he cant help but feel like those reporters were you. He watched as the husband of the latest victim fell to his knees when they told him they found her body. He watched as he positively identified the body of his wife.

Your eyes open and you realize that you aren't in the same place you were before, there is a soft light coming from the bathroom that is off of your bedroom. Your heart leaps, Spencer must be home. You climb out of bed and softly knock on the door, “Spence?”

You push the door open slightly, and step into the steam filled bathroom. “Y/n, did i wake you up?” He asks, the glass shower door is steamed up and foggy. He uses his hand to clear some of the fog and peeks out at you, you can see through the watery glass that his eyes are bloodshot and sunken.

“No. I woke up on my own, please get out of the shower so i can hug you.” you frown and grab a fluffy white towel from the linen closet to the left of the shower. You hear the water turn off and you toss the towel over the shower door, and Spencer wraps the towel around his waist and opens the shower door.  Before the door has time to close you are wrapping your arms around Spencers wet waist and pulling him into a tight hug. Your cheek pressed firmly against his wet chest, his heart slamming against his ribs beneath your cheekbone.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask, pulling away slightly and looking up at the curly haired man.

“Not tonight. Can we just get some sleep? Maybe talk about something besides the case.” Spencer traces a long finger down your cheek and rests it under your chin.

“Mmmk, but tomorrow we are talking about why i found my husband crying in my shower at 5 am.” You poke his chest and he nods.

“Of course. Let me get changed and i’ll be in bed in a minute.” He kisses your head and water from his hair drips onto your cheeks.

“Yes Dr. Reid.” You smirk and walk back to the bedroom and climb under the navy comforter. A few moments later Spencer exits the bathroom and climbs into bed next to you. Pulling you into his side and rests his head on top of yours.

“How was babysitting Henry?” Spencer quietly asks, and you wraps your arms around him.

“Oh it was great, he’s such a smart boy. Although he did mention he wants to be a reporter like his Aunt. I asked him if he wanted to be a profiler and he said no that my job was wayyyy cooler.” You smirk.

“Oh is that so?” Spencer asks with a small laugh.

“Yup, he thinks i’m pretty cool.”

“How many scoops of ice cream did you bribe him with to get him to admit that you were cool Mrs. Reid?” Spencer closes his eyes and runs his fingers up and down your sides.

“Four..” You mutter and close your eyes, and you feel Spencer laugh beneath you.

~~~~~

Taglist

Criminal minds: @morcialovechild @banananna99

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

50 Things I’m Convinced Tay & Joe Do - Baby Edition 

1. Taylor smirking at Joe who claims that the air in the doctor’s room is dry which is the reason why his eyes are watering right after they found out that they’re having a girl. 

 2. Joe’s protective hand constantly reaching for her belly at night whenever she’s changing her sleeping position. 

3. Joe opening his Christmas gift from her that was casually placed under the Christmas tree and him becoming incredibly emotional in front of both of their families because inside the little box, there is a positive pregnancy test. 

4. Taylor and Joe only telling their families and closest friends about her pregnancy at first because Taylor’s too scared to miscarry. 

5. Joe replacing all Nespresso capsules in their houses with decaf capsules because he knows how hard it is for her to waive proper coffee. 

6. Taylor developing a weird disgust towards roasted meat yet always attends dinner at Joe’s family and eats the Sunday roast even if most of it lands in the toilet just minutes after they get home. 

7. Joe always telling Tay that his mum won’t be mad if she’d tell her about her meat related nausea but Taylor still swallows the food anyway. 

8. Joe being overprotective, especially on these days when she’s not feeling well and he’s gone for work. So as soon as she doesn’t pick up her phone for a couple of minutes, he’d immediately call Andrea who then has to calm him down with a soft laugh and a gentle “both of your girls are alright, honey. She’s watching TV with me and her phone’s in the kitchen, so don’t worry.” while Taylor would roll her eyes at his protective behavior but deep down knows how incredibly thankful she is for it. 

 9. Scott always teasing Joe with referring to him as “Daddy over there wants some more potatoes, Andrea” or greeting Joe with “Hi Daddy, how’s it going?” whenever they see each other. 

10. Taylor trying to convince him that their daughter needs to have an old classic and British name such as “Hazel” or “Eleanor” and Joe reminding her that she’s giving birth to a baby, not an old lady. 

11. Taylor feeling incredibly maternal at the end of the second trimester and most of the time falling asleep with a pull string musical crib toy on her belly that plays one of her songs (a gift from her fans, of course). 

12. Joe spending at least half an hour cuddled up to her belly and talking to the baby after not having seen Taylor for a couple of days, always kissing the round belly and telling her how sad he is sometimes because Taylor gets to carry the baby around and feel her all day, but he can’t. 

13. Taylor and Joe constantly fighting about her wanting to wear heels tonight, and him getting angry because she could trip and fall. 

14. Taylor being mad at him for an entire day because she thinks that he thinks that she’s too stupid to walk on high heels for the length of one evening. 

 15. Joe figuring out that the only way to deal with her current hormones is to always give in and let her know how sorry he is and how right she was. 

16. Joe constantly finding her asleep at the weirdest places in the house. Once on a stool with head on the kitchen isle, once on the floor in her walk- in closet. 

17. Taylor feeling like a teenager again because she finds herself crying so often whenever he’s gone filming for a couple of days and she misses him badly. 

 18. Taylor being mocked by everyone in her family because she developed the habit to “free the bump” whenever she’s sitting on the patio and a ray of sunshine is crossing the sky. “The baby needs Vitamine D, guys. Shut up.” she’d say, enjoying the warmth on her belly.

19. Joe volunteering in applying cream on her belly to prevent stretch marks every night. 

 20. Taylor having an increased need for sex in the first months and Joe teasing her with it as much as he can, smirking and mumbling a casual “got it out of your system, love? If yes could you please move a bit so I can watch the rest of this movie? Thank you.” after she just came down from the fifth orgasm that day, sitting on his lap and distracting him from watching a movie on the couch in the living room. 

21. “So rude.” she’d mumble and receive a mischievous laugh from him before cuddling up in his arms again. 

22. Joe’s standard joke being “I mean, I was in the room when the baby was conceived to I might as well be in the room when the baby’s delivered” whenever he’s asked wether he’ll be in the delivery room or not and Taylor rolling her eyes every single time, “He thinks he’s so funny, it’s incredible.” 

23. Joe having the shock of his life when Taylor fainted a couple of times during the first weeks of pregnancy because of low blood pressure, which is absolutely normal yet scared the shit out of him. 

24. Joe literally calling her every two hours to remind her to drink water and eat something when she’s at a meeting because he knows that she forgets. 

 25. Joe literally going nuts after some online magazine releases an article calling Taylor “huge and lazy” because she apparently doesn’t work out enough during pregnancy which results in him wanting to sue the media outlet but Taylor calming him down because she doesn’t give a fuck about this kind of stuff anymore. 

26. Taylor feeling her baby kick for the first time when they’re at dinner with her parents and Joe really trying not to be too emotional and become a cry- baby but keeping his hand on her belly for what feels like the entire evening. 

27. Taylor craving nachos with whip cream on top. 

28. Taylor sitting on the examination couch while waiting for her doctor, trying her best to bat Joe’s hands away from the model of a fetus in a womb: “Stop touching it. You’ll break it!” When the small plastic baby pops out of the fake uterus and onto the floor, Joe’s eyes grow wide and she just rolls her eyes while watching him hysterically trying to put the model back together again before the doctor enters the room. 

29. Joe thanking her for carrying his baby and giving him his own little family whenever they both lay awake at night, but the pleasure is all hers. 

30. Taylor hiding her big bump and boobs under oversized sweaters because she’s insecure about her physical changes. 

31. Joe being well aware of her insecurities which makes him comment things like “you’re so stunning, baby. Is that shirt new?” or “you look gorgeous this morning, how’d you sleep?”. 

32. Joe noticing how motherly Taylor has become because of all the hormones in her body. So every time Patrick is joining them on a winter walk she’d remind the boy to fix his scarf because „it’s colder than you think“ and every time Patrick has a cold she’d cook him a chicken soup, even If he didn’t ask for it which is why Joe and him can’t help but tease her constantly by calling her ‚mummy‘. 

33. Taylor being embarrassed as hell for an entire week because her morning sickness was really bad while she and Joe were stuck in traffic and she had to throw up in a plastic bag after mumbling “I don’t want it to happen, I don’t want it to happen” while sitting next to him which resulted in her having vomit in her hair while crying and him calming her with a hand on her leg: “s’ fine, baby. C'mon. Just glad you feel better now.” 

34. Joe’s mum bursting out to tears as she opens her birthday present and finds an ultrasound scan, which automatically makes Tay emotional as well while hugging his mum for more than five minutes straight. 

35. Taylor often having trouble sleeping because she either struggles with immense nausea or her baby being super active. 

37. Joe waking up one night with tears in his eyes because in his dreams he was holding his baby in his arms and he could see what she looks like and smell her and hear her laugh and everything felt so real, which was the most amazing feeling he has ever felt. 

38. Joe noticing how Taylor craves his closeness even more since she’s pregnant which is why he pulls her into a long hug as often as he can or kisses her forehead more often. 

 39. Taylor showing literally everyone she knows her new “trick” that is placing objects on her huge belly like a tray. 

40. Joe counting all ten toes and all ten fingers on the baby, first thing: “just want to make sure you’ll be able to write some songs. Or make action movies..“ he’d mumble towards the baby, making Taylor laugh from afar. 

 41. Baby Alwyn- Swift having all of Taylor’s features, blonde curls included, but Joe’s lips and his rather introvert personality. 

 42. Joe holding the baby in front of Taylor’s tummy and mumbling a sleepy “we’ll have to put you back in there again if you don’t sleep, love. m’ warning you. The nights were a lot quieter with you in there.” which makes Taylor laugh and the baby stare at him confused before receiving a laugh and a small kiss from her dad. 

43. Taylor announcing the birth of her baby on Instagram with posting a black and white photo of Joe kissing tiny baby feet and the caption “Never felt so blessed in my life. Thanks for all the congratulations and kind messages.” 

44. Joe pretending to eat the baby’s foot or hand which always makes the little one laugh and Taylor as well. 

45. Taylor posting a boomerang on Instagram for fathers day that shows Joe blowing raspberries on the baby’s stomach with a smile on his face and captioning it with “you have changed my heart forever. Happy Father’s Day.” 

46. Joe already spoiling his little girl when she’s just a little toddler and Taylor really not liking it: “He can’t say no. Never. Now she’s just a baby but if he keeps that up our child will be a spoilt rat in a few years” she’d complain to her mom. 

47. Joe surprising Taylor with a vacation to the Bahamas because the baby hasn’t been sleeping at all in weeks and they both wander around like ghosts all day long which is why they both urgently need some relaxation away from London and Nashville.

48. Joe realizing that his baby daughter has a miniature version of his lips which is why he always holds her tiny face right next to his for comparison when they’re with friends and family. 

49. Joe giving the newborn on his arm a tour around their house when both of their parents came over for a first visit at home. He’d stop with her on his arms in the bedroom and mumble “..and this is where you were made, my love” which results in her family’s laughter and an embarrassed Taylor yelling “oh my god, Joseph. You are unbelievable.” 

50. Joe teaching his little girl how to give kisses and always claps his hands to cheer on her whenever her lips made the right move to meet his. After some time, the baby girl loves to give her daddy wet kisses and afterwards automatically claps her little hands as well which makes Joe and Taylor burst out in laughter every time.

[noentryallowed]

1-99 😘

You’re fucking kidding me omg fine I’ll re-edit when I’m done it might take a few hours. Ass. 😘Okay, here we go. 

1 -When was the last time you masturbated? This morning.2 - Do you enjoy beingfingered/fingering? Yes and yes.3 - How do you feel about foodduring sex? Sure. Strawberries,honey, whipped cream. 4 - What do you do directlyafter sex? I have sex again.Sometimes, I smoke a cigarette.5 - Cuddle with the tip in? No.6 - What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? Idk uh on the top of my head it was being tied up from the ceiling, gaged,blindfolded, whipped, covered in wax and fucked.7 - Name a follower you would fuck. Pfff too many, can’t choose one.8 - Name a follower you have fucked. For now, no one.9 - What’s the sexiest part of your body? My boobs and lips. 10 - FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe I’d kill them all tbh.11- Would you ever be with a trans person? Sure, why not?12 - Riding dick or doggy style? Both!13- Ever fucked in a school? Yep, when I was sixteen.14 - Most random place you’ve had sex? A beach.15 - Would you ever be part of the mile high club? I’ve never really thought about it. I guess Ijust don’t care enough to tell you.16- Name three of your spots. Neck, boobs, pussy17 - Fuck on the first date? Why the fuck not?18 - Do you suck dick? I haven’t in a while, but I don’t mind it.19 - Do you eat ass? Yes.20 - Do you eat pussy? Fuck yes.21 - Do you like kissing? Yeah, it’s all right! Women though, not men. 22 - Is farting during sex sexy? Uh, no omg.23 - Ever fucked in the shower? Of course.24- How old were you when you lost your virginity? 1425- Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? I like sex no matter the hour.26 - Do you like drunk sex? It depends. It can become messy, but I don’t mind.27 - Do you like high sex? Oh hell yes!28 - FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll? I’d kill them all again.29 - When was your first kiss? I have no idea. I think I was seven but I don’t really remember much.30 - How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? That’s not something I want to talk about.31 - Have you ever faked an orgasm? Aahahah of course, with every man I’ve been with.32 - Ever painted/been painted on? No! But would love to do it.33 - You like sex toys? Like them, love them, use them all the time.34 - What’s your favorite sex position? I love doggy style. Giver or receiver.35 - Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? Start on couch, continue on floor and end on bed.36 - Do you like car sex? I’ll tell you when it happens.37 - You get instantly horny; what happened? I’m always horny, so…38 - FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina? KILL THEM OMG.39 - Describe your crush. I don’t have one.40 - Would you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? No.41 - Rate your head game. 11/1042 - Rate your sex.11/1043 - Would you fuck someone outside of your race? Yep.44 - Describe the type of freak you are. Type of freak? I don’t consider myself  afreak. I just like to fuck until I can’t fucking move.45 - Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Yes.46 - Into golden showers? Absolutely not.47 - Body count: Under or Over 25? Over 25.48 - How do you feel about nipple play? I’m all for it.49 - Where do you like to be nutted on? My back.50 - Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? Topping.51 - What do you consider “too small?” Nothing, I don’t give a shit.52 - Is play fighting foreplay? Sure.53 - Do you like angry sex? Who doesn’t like angry sex? I love it.54 - How long should a quickie be?  Between one and ten minutes.55 - How long is “too long” to have sex? Too long? Fuck me all night, all day, I don’tcare!56 - How long is “too long” to go without sex? A week.57 - Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Uh, yes. Consent is important.58 - Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Yeah, it’s almost all I do.59 - Would you have sex in a public bathroom? Been there, done that.60 - Would you have sex in a changing room? Sure, the danger to be caught is exciting.61 - Who was the last person you had sex with? My roommate.62 - Describe your type. Don’t be boring, don’t be stupid, don’t be needy and be obedient.63 - Name 3 turn-ons. Ropes, strap-ons, women64 - Name 3 turn-offs. Vomit, piss, child-play.65 - Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Someone saying some shit like “Who’s a good littlegirl?”66 - Would you answer a phone call during sex?67 - Would you ever pay for sex? I’m not sure. Maybe if I’m drunk enough.68 - Would you accept money for sex? Sure.69 - How do you typically feel after sex? Good, relaxed, wanting more.70 - Do you like your body? Yeah, it’s not bad.71 - Ever sent nudes? Yes.72 - Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes.73 - Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.74 - Would you have a threesome? Yes.75 - Would you have a foursome? Yes.76 - Would you take part in an orgy? I’d be open to it depending on the number of men involved. (Three orless) but as many women as you want.77 - Would you let’s train be ran on you? Eh, no.78 - How often do you masturbate? Every day.79 - Sex with the lights on or off? Both.80 - Sex with music or tv in the background? I mean I don’t care what in the background I’ma bit busy doing something else.81 - Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? Yes.82 - In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhhhh 4/1083 - Do you sleep naked? During the Summer yeah, and after sex of course.84 - How often do you go commando? Never.85 - Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? No and yes.86 - Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? It depends on the situation. Sometimestalking isn’t necessary.87 - After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Gagging the girl so she shuts the fuck up.88 - Do you make the first move? Depends on the person.89 - Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Lol yes when I was dating a woman and a man at the same time. The morning it was her, the night him.90 - Do you like dryhumping? I don’t mind it.91 - Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? No92 - Have you ever been recorded during sex? No93 - Do you watch porn during sex? No94 - After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Ew no, really not.95 - What’s your kink? Rape-play96 - Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? Yeah, if it was good enough.97 - Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? Nope.98 - How romantic are you during sex? Not at all.99 - Describe your sex in 5 words or less. Fantastic, tasty, perfect, willing, superfragilisticexpialidocious

[wherethewindtakesher]

weeeeee

the biggest thank you to @caws5749 for sending me all 134 questions 🥰

1: Name Lorena

2: Age 20

3: 3 Fears drowning, the ocean, and fishes.

4: 3 things I love my dog, my friends, and mangoes.

5: 4 turns on humor, charisma, telling me how much you want m-, and moaning.

6: 4 turns off being full of themselves, disrespectfulness, afraid to be themselves, and not showing a care about the well being of others.

7: My best friend k, f, and @brownmantwo.

8: Sexual orientation bisexual.

9: My best first date i’ve never been on a date!

10: How tall am I 5′2

11: What do I miss being fucking skinny-

12: What time were I born 10:45 pm!

13: Favorite color red.

14: Do I have a crush uh...

15: Favorite quote “I got STDS they make my coochie itch�� SKSKSKDKSDKAD.

16: Favorite place my house.

17: Favorite food rice.

18: Do I use sarcasm 99.9% of my vocabulary is sarcasm.

19: What am I listening to right now “everything I wanted” by billie eilish because ya girl is depressed.

20: First thing I notice in new person how they hold themselves.

21: Shoe size 8 or 8.5 sometimes a 9.

22: Eye color dark brown.

23: Hair color black.

24: Favorite style of clothing baggy clothes or dark bold colors.

25: Ever done a prank call? yea. I use to call those numbers where it takes you to a different number to prank.

27: Meaning behind my URL its not necessarily an interesting story I just came up with it in my head one day.

28: Favorite movie too many to count.

29: Favorite song literally too many.

30: Favorite band three days grace.

31: How I feel right now fucking sad.

32: Someone I love my friends.

33: My current relationship status single.

34: My relationship with my parents its good! but there is a lot I tend to not discuss with them.

35: Favorite holiday halloween!

36: Tattoos and piercing I have I have two tattoos, both on my left arm. my finger tattoo is of a rose and my bicep is a ghost wearing a witch hat! piercing: septum, conch (but it closed) and my two lobes.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want a bunch more of tattoos and I want to get a few more ear piercings.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr to be cool like my older niece.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we do not. lots of love and respect left in between us.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? not really.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? NO BECAUSE @domromanoff and I ARE BASICALLY SISTERS AND THATS INCEST.

42: When did I last hold hands? years ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes to get up from bed and 5 to actually get ready.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yes I have because I like smooth legs.

45: Where am I right now? my kitchen.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? no ones because they'll just leave me behind and laugh at my misery. jkjk but my dear friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? L O U D.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do because rent in LA is fucking e x p e n s I v e.

49: Am I excited for anything? to go to bed.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? I have 2 of them.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? too often tbh.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? a few weeks ago I believe?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? they should because thats their baby momma.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? yup.

55: What is something I disliked about today? waking up.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? lady gaga and scarlett johansson.

57: What do I think about most? what tattoo to get, if I should get another dog, how to annoy @caws5749 that day, etc etc.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can move the bones in my wrist.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? im scared of fish!

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind because I am a nervous mess and I like taking control of such.

61: What was the last lie I told? “im okay”

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? both honestly! I love video chatting with @domromanoff and my friends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes.

64: Do I believe in magic? hell yea I grew up around all that shit.

65: Do I believe in luck? not really.

66: What’s the weather like right now? its chilly.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? jesus christ I forgot the name but its currently under my bed rn.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? YES.

69: Do I have any nicknames? clown, wueej by @caws5749, pi- prin-, bottom by @domromanoff, lore, lorecha, whore, hoe.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I pulled my thigh muscle recently and OMG I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I SPEND IT HONEY YASSSS.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? sadly no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? my water bottle c:

74: Favorite animal? I fucking love cows.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? crying lmao.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nikolas is it not??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? “Judas” by lady gaga.

78: How can you win my heart? just be yourself and believe wholeheartedly of what you want and desire.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “madi did it”

80: What is my favorite word? fuck.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @caws5749 @domromanoff @dailyavengers @ravenforce andddddd @supercorpbechloe there’s so many more I’m editing this rn AKSJSHSHSHS I love each and everyone’s accounts here!

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? GLOBAL WARMING IS A REAL THING YALL.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? i think so 👀 but im not close to them.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? maybe like telekinesis or some mind power.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in your mind?

86: What is my current desktop picture? a winter forest.

87: Had sex? if oral sex counts then sure.

88: Bought condoms? I haven't bought them I just magically obtained them.

89: Gotten pregnant? oh god no.

90: Failed a class? yUUUUP.

91: Kissed a boy? yes.

92: Kissed a girl? yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? back in middle school lmaoooo.

94: Had job? yes im on my second one rn.

95: Left the house without my wallet? all the damn time.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no because im not a fucking asshole.

97: Had sex in public? not yet.

98: Played on a sports team? yea I was in track n field and cross country!

99: Smoked weed? I haven't but I once wanted to try it but I was to much of a pussy to skip class.

100: Did drugs? nope.

101: Smoked cigarettes? ew no.

102: Drank alcohol? y’all Ive gotten so fucked up on here so of cOURSE. my friends think I have a drinking problem ksjlksdjlkjds.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I am not.

104: Been overweight? yea.

105: Been underweight? No.

106: Been to a wedding? I have when I was younger.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? sadly yes because of video games.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea when I binge watched the walking dead.

109: Been outside my home country? yes!

110: Gotten my heart broken? yeah.

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes because everyone in LA has possibly been to a dodgers game.

112: Broken a bone? nope!

113: Cut myself? oh man..I have and I deeply regret doing so but its a part of me now and i’ve accepted it.

114: Been to prom? YES! best night of my life.

115: Been in airplane? once and that was it because fuck planes lsjdkjlksdjs.

116: Fly by helicopter? nope!

117: What concerts have I been to? daddy yankee and some other guy I don't remember heheheh.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? duh im gay.

119: Learned another language? I tried (and failed) to learn japanese.

120: Wore make up? a couple of times. i’m not the hugest fan of makeup.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? nope!

122: Had oral sex? once.

123: Dyed my hair? too many times.

124: Voted in a presidential election? no but I will this upcoming one for sure.

125: Rode in an ambulance? no but I want to!

126: Had a surgery? no but I did have to get stitches on my lower lip.

127: Met someone famous? I meant jenni rivera’s brother at a movie theater once!

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes? but not to a weird extent.

129: Peed outside? only because no one was around to open the door to my apartment complex and I couldn't hold it in-

130: Been fishing? I am T E R R I F I E D of fish so no.

131: Helped with charity? yup! I bought a shirt from one of @markiplier‘s livestreams that donated all the money to a charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? yea.

133: Broken a mirror? I think maybe once??

134: What do I want for birthday? I want a tattoo.

[gretagerwigcollection]

One Scene, 42 Takes and 2 Hours in a Bathroom Stall

By Greta Gerwig 

May 9, 2013

Scene 63. INT. BATHROOM. NIGHT.

Frances and Sophie inside a stall together.

FRANCES: I was lying. I don’t love Patch.

SOPHIE: I do love him.

FRANCES: Since when? When did this happen?

SOPHIE: It’s been happening.

FRANCES: That’s [expletive] [expletive]. Sophie, COME ON!

SOPHIE: No, you’re [expletive]. And you’re making me feel really bad right now.

FRANCES: I want to love him if you love him, but you don’t love him.

SOPHIE: I DO.

FRANCES: (tearing up) Sophie! I [expletive] held your head when you cried. I bought special milk for you. I know where you hide your pills. Do not treat me like a three-hour-brunch friend.

SOPHIE: I’m not talking to you while you’re like this.

She turns away. Frances hits the wall close to Sophie’s head. It’s violent and kind of scary.

In the film “Frances Ha,” Scene 63 is 28 seconds long. We did 42 takes in total, two hours of shooting in a bathroom with no breaks or pauses other than for direction and blocking. In 50 days of shooting, we averaged around 35 takes per scene. Most independent films shoot in 25 days with, at most, 10 takes per scene.

A take, in this case, refers to the entirety of the above printed text, acted from beginning to end. Meaning that Mickey Sumner, playing Sophie, and I, playing Frances, said those words and performed those actions 42 times in a row. The scene had to play “in one,” a take in its entirety, with no edits. The take is the scene. Noah Baumbach, the director and my co-writer, was going to have to pick only one of those 42 takes for the final film.

To write this essay, I went back to the editing room and watched all 42 takes. I also read the script supervisor’s notes, which include Noah’s opinions of each performance. Using the footage, the notes and my memory of the day of shooting, I created the following take journal.

Take 1 (2:04 p.m.): The first one. Not great, but not bad. The first go-round always has an adrenaline to it that is thrilling and unwieldy. There is a pride in simply getting through it, saying everything pretty well correctly and not melting into the ground with embarrassment for all the acting that we are doing.

Take 2 (2:08 p.m.): Because the first take went fairly well, I immediately become cocky and start overplaying it. I’m acting toodrunk. It’s whiny and high-pitched, and for some reason I’m leaning over the sink in a way that makes me look like a hunchback.

Take 3 (2:13 p.m.): Now I swing too far in the other direction and pitch my voice a lot lower. It sounds fake, as if I’m trying to sound important. Frances’ rhythms are more fleet and funny. I touch Mickey too much, it’s too aggressive. She flinches, and she’s right to, because what I’m doing is weird.

Take 4 (2:16 p.m.): I know I’m doing the scene badly, but I can’t figure out how to do it well. Usually by Take 4 something has settled, but not this time. I do a weird line reading just to change it up. That surprises me midperformance, and then I mess up my next line — I say “three-hour-lunch friend” instead of “three-hour-brunch friend.” I apologize immediately after Noah calls, “Cut!” Little words count.

Take 5 (2:20 p.m.): Still hunched over. Less angry, more sad. I’m probably just sad for myself, which is a terrible trap for an actor to fall into. I can tell that Noah is not thrilled with what we’re getting. He hasn’t said anything yet — no “Good take” or “Mark that one” to let me know that I’m on the right track.

Take 6 (2:22 p.m.): Slow. REALLY slow. I try to straighten up! Well done! The crazy-anger is all gone, which is good, but it doesn’t have any energy. By the end of the scene, I’m back to hunching.

Take 7 (2:24 p.m.): For some reason I totally lose my lines. I trip over my tongue. I get very angry with myself and slam the wall next to Mickey’s head too hard at the end of the scene. She lets out a gasp ­ — I’m frightening her.

Take 8 (2:27 p.m.): Because I am playing the scene angrier, Mickey is fighting back harder. A very strong “I DO” from her. I hit the wall quite violently. Mickey starts crying.

Take 9 (2:30 p.m.): I am upsetting Mickey too much — it’s hard for her (or for anyone in that position) to come down from so much emotion and reset and do the scene again. Now she looks upset throughout the entire scene, not just at the end. Sophie is stronger than this, more justifiably angry with Frances than frightened by her. I’m not doing my job as a scene partner.

Take 10 (2:32 p.m.): We start, but then I immediately stop the scene. “Sorry, sorry for this,” I say. I hate breaking a take. But I have a question. Writing a script does not necessarily mean you understand it as an actor. Noah and I talk about Frances’ sincerity. Me: “When I say, ‘Since when,’ am I serious about that?” Noah: “Yes, but it’s not like you really want to know.” Me: “Right, right, let’s go again.”

Take 11 (2:36 p.m.): Calmer energy. Too calm. It’s death for the scene. It’s clearer though, less drunk. At the end, I get a “Want to run it again right away?” from Noah. Nothing else, just “Run it again.” This angers me. I want praise. We do another one right away while the camera is rolling. It’s better, less forced. He was right.

Take 12 (2:38 p.m.): Now I’m underacting deliberately. But it feels more specific. I’m building it from the inside out, trying to wait for it instead of flinging myself in one direction or another.

Take 13 (2:41 p.m.): I start and stop. It’s a dud.

Take 14 (2:44 p.m.): It’s beginning to take shape. The rhythm is kicking in. Mickey is a rock, hitting it perfectly every single time. Acting against someone who has the showier moment is always difficult, but she’s nailing it.

Take 15 (2:47 p.m.): I’m still leaning over — why am I doing that? I laugh through the scene, which seems like an interesting choice, but as soon as the take is over, Noah says, “I think that you’re fed up with her already, so don’t laugh.” I nod and say, “O.K., right, it’s not funny.” I am taking in his direction now. Acting is not simply performing but being in a state of pliable awareness, like hot metal — all possibility and softness in something that is inherently strong.

Take 16 (2:50 p.m.): This is the first take for which there are any script notes. It reads simply, “Good.” This means that after the take, Noah leaned over to the script supervisor and said, “That was a good one.” First genuinely good take, and we’re almost an hour into it.

Take 17 (2:52 p.m.): Another “Good” in the script notes. We’re on a roll! When a scene starts working, it feels as if every choice you make is the right one. It’s getting into a zone where each take can be wildly different, but it all feels true. Frances is the right mix of drunk, angry and self-righteous, while Sophie is simultaneously over Frances’ antics and infuriated by them.

Take 18 (2:55 p.m.): The notes read, “Blocking changed.” Thank God! After 18 takes, I finally stop leaning over in a death hunch. We’ve changed my action so that I’m turning off the water and drying off my hands as we start. The scene is instantly better.

Take 19 (2:58 p.m.): The acting is good, but there are weird sounds of doors opening somewhere in the club outside, which messes up the audio.

Take 20 (3:02 p.m.): I’m making a meal out of drying my hands with the paper towel. I am drying them too vigorously, enjoying having a prop far too much. It has become a crutch.

Take 21 (3:05 p.m.): I’m not paying enough attention to Mickey, which is a bad choice. The only way to make a scene work is with the other actor, and the minute I start thinking about myself more than them, I am sunk.

Take 22 (3:09 p.m.): Another “Good” in the script notes. My performance is finally clean and focused, and Mickey is great as always.

Take 23 (3:12 p.m.): Because I’m washing my hands every single time at the top of the scene, my fingers have started to pucker. But it’s a good action, so I keep washing.

Take 24 (3:15 p.m.): I overarticulate some of the words. I emphasize the “me” too much in the way I say “Don’t treat me like a three-hour-brunch friend.” It makes it sound as if there is someone we’ve just been interacting with who is the three-hour-brunch friend.

Take 25 (3:17 p.m.): The take is pretty good, but as soon as Noah calls, “Cut,” Mickey says, “I was waiting for it, sorry.” Meaning she braced for my wall hit before I did it. It is difficult to keep the surprise of the moment alive.

Take 26 (3:20 p.m.): It’s a good one, but when it ends, I don’t hear anything positive. I react and say with a slightly hard voice, “Was that a good one?” Noah says, “Let’s try another.” I close my eyes and try to focus on the next one.

Take 27 (3:21 p.m.): Script notes read, “Good.” Victory! I didn’t get derailed by my wanting and not getting praise.

Take 28 (3:24 p.m.): Another good one for Mickey and me, but the hit at the end is kind of strange. It doesn’t quite land right, making the moment seem awkward and airless.

Take 29 (3:26 p.m.): It all works. The characters are there, not the actors struggling. After we finish it, Mickey cries, which is not quite the scripted reaction, but it she resets easily.

Take 30 (3:29 p.m.): I start the scene and then stop myself. Noah says, “That was good, though, a good beginning.” I am angry at myself. I start over. I totally flub the lines but stumble through it. Sometimes when I do a great take or have a great moment, I scare myself back into mediocrity. As if it’s too frightening to actually find something that works, because I lose myself inside the moment and my conscious mind wants to pull me back into something more familiar but more banal. I see this happen to other actors all the time, too. Fully swimming in a character and a scene can be terrifying.

Take 31 (3:31 p.m.): Script notes read, “Good.” I’ve calmed down, I’m not as freaked out. Back into being in control but also out of control enough to make it interesting.

Take 32. (3:34 p.m.): We start, and it’s going fairly well, but the camera “rolls out,” and they have to change the memory card.

Take 33 (3:37 p.m.): Another “Good.” It is good: I’m there for Mickey, and she’s there for me.

Take 34 (3:40 p.m.): Inverted a word here. I say, “I bought you special milk,” instead of “I bought special milk for you.” It is a small thing, but it messed with the pace of the line.

Take 35 (3:42 p.m.): This take is pretty good, but I’m getting tired, I can tell.

Take 36 (3:45 p.m.): Mickey says, “I do,” really strong and angrily. She is a workhorse, indefatigable. It feels as if we might have gotten the scene already. We unconsciously start to wind down.

Take 37 (3:47 p.m.): Noah stops us in the middle of the take; I don’t know why exactly. We do it again. Because this happens a lot, a stop and a start over, the take count doesn’t reflect how many times we actually do it. Often we do it more times than recorded.

Take 38 (3:49 p.m.): There is a way-too-long pause in the middle. I apologize right away at the end of the take. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry everyone.” I am suddenly reminded of our crew. The cinematographer, the focus puller and the sound woman who have all been cramped in this bathroom with us. Actors are allowed to screw up much more than anyone else on a set.

Take 39 (3:53 p.m.): Script notes read, “Good.” The trajectory of filming a scene: at the beginning, it’s all emotion; in the middle, it’s all ideas; then for a brief moment between the middle and the end, it’s quite good; but at the very end, the actors get annoyed, because we believe that we’ve already delivered, and why are we still doing this?

Take 40 (3:55 p.m.): Script notes: “Very good.” Despite ourselves it has become better. I look to Noah like, Are we done? He says, “Let’s try another.” I sigh. I want it to be over.

Take 41 (3:57 p.m.): After the end of this take, Noah says, “Good, I think we’ve got it.” Me: “Really?” Noah: “Yes.” Me: “I mean, are you sure?” Noah: “Yes.” Me: “Mickey, do you want to . . . maybe let’s just do one more?” Mickey nods. Noah: “O.K., one more time.” Even though a second earlier, all I wanted was to be free of this scene, now I cannot let it go. I have to try one more time.

Take 42 (4:01 p.m.): Script notes read, “Best take.” Always good to end on a high note. Noah: “That was great.” I look nervous still. Me: “Do you really think we have it?”

In the final cut of the film, Noah used Take 29.

A version of this article appears in print on May 12, 2013, on Page 54 of the Sunday Magazine with the headline: ‘I Know I’m Doing the Scene Badly, But I Can’t Figure Out How to Do It Well’.

[batik96]

Venturing into 2019 ...

I made a fresh writing post, including everything from the original 2019 post, because I messed up the “keep reading” line and it was kind of long and clumsy. So, hopefully, now updates will be below the cut ... with the exception of the immediate update, which I hope Tumblr will allow me to refresh above the cut ...

Note: I ended the year without writing anything more, so my year-end word count was 41,727 words and my daily word average was 114.32 words. According to AO3, the most words I’ve posted previously in a year was 20,500 in 2015. (AO3 credits me with 59,000 words in 2019, but I know at least 7,000 of those were written in previous years and posted this year. IDK how to explain the rest of the difference in word count. Did I really write 10,000 words worth of end notes?!) 

Jan. 1, 2019: So, I finished off 2018 with 18,480 words written, for a daily average of 50.6 words. That beats my goal of 43 words a day, set Jan. 1, 2018. If I recall correctly, it also beats my yearly totals for both 2016 and 2017, so I’m happy with that. Writing remains a bit of a struggle, though time is a huge constraint. I haven’t had time to write today, to set a word-count goal for 2019, so I’m going to use the average with which I finished 2018 – 50 words a day (I’m not going to round up – that’s another 365 words and one of them might be a word too far!) – as my daily goal for 2019. Happy writing, all!

Jan. 13, 2019: Well, I was busy finishing a non-writing project and it kind of sucked up what time/mental energy I had for writing. No sooner had I finished that project, though,  than I sat down and write 182 words. Not a lot. But it’s something, including hope that having the other thing out of the way will free me up to write a bit more. Hmmm … as I’m writing this, I realize that I didn’t update about a week ago, when I wrote 438 words. (I promise I wrote them.) Add the 438 and the 182 and that’s 620 words for the first 13 days of the year, or a daily average of 47.69. A bit below my goal of 50 words a day, but close enough that I’m going to be happy with it and not start feeling like a failure for the year.

Jan. 14, 2019: In some stunning twist of fate, I wrote more words today. That’s two days in a row! And, full disclosure, it was only 59 words. But that’s more than my day’s goal with a few to spare toward meeting my daily average. And – this is pretty huge – I actually wrote words Two. Days. in a Row. That brings me to a year-to-date total of 679 words and bumps my daily average up to 48.5.

Jan. 16, 2019: Another 42 words. It’s kind of a strange way to write, one or two sentences at a time. But if it works … 721 words in 16 days for an average of 45 words a day. Below my goal, but not too far behind.

Feb. 9, 2019: Proving again how much easier writing is when my brain actually is rested (9 hours of sleep helps) and uncluttered enough (husband out of the house; kids doing their own thing) to focus (without having to worry that one of them is going to pop up at my shoulder and say “Whatcha doing?” at any given moment, I have written 811 words today – and finished (I think) the scene I’ve been working on for a couple of months now. That brings me up to a year-to-date total of 2,645 and a daily average of 66 words, well above my 50-word-a-day goal!

Feb. 12, 2019: I had some feelings and, thus, spent about 5 minutes spewing them into 190 words that I then posted just as quickly. It’s amazing how good it felt to write and post something so easily, without months of agonizing over a big, long thing and analyzing every word to death. That brings my yearly total up to 2,835 and my daily average up to 65.9 words a day.

March 3, 2019: It’s been a bit hectic around my place lately, and this is the first chance I’ve had to write in a while. I managed 123 words. I’m hoping I might manage more before the day is over, but I also have other things I want to manage – like quilting and making peanut butter cups and reading – and things I need to manage – like laundry and dishes and food. So I figured I’d at least get the 123 words on record. That puts my total word count at 2,958 words for the year and my daily average at 47.7 words a day. Not 50, but it could be worse.

March 9, 2019: After struggling quite a bit yesterday (and for the past while) in an attempt to write and managing, well, nothing, I woke up this morning to a dark house – fog and rain will do that, even at 8 a.m. – and a quiet house. Once I was properly awoken by a cup of quality hot chocolate, a biscuit and some bacon, I tried again to write. This time? So far I’m at 1,394 words for the day – almost half as much as I’ve written for the year to date. I hope to have more before the day is done, but I wanted to note my progress thus far. It brings me up to a yearly total of 4,352 and a daily average of 64 words. And it feels good!

March 9, 2019: After struggling quite a bit yesterday (and for the past while) in an attempt to write and managing, well, nothing, I woke up this morning to a dark house – fog and rain will do that, even at 8 a.m. – and a quiet house. And a quiet brain. Once I was properly awoken by a cup of quality hot chocolate, a biscuit and some bacon, I tried again to write. This time? So far I’m at 1,394 words for the day – almost half as much as I’ve written for the year to date. I hope to have more before the day is done, but I wanted to note my progress thus far. It brings me up to a yearly total of 4,352 and a daily average of 64 words. And it feels so good!

March 24: I have written 251 words today. It’s not nearly as much as I had hoped to accomplish -- I really would like to get this thing finished soon. (You know how people talk about working on a fic for a year and then offering up a 100,000-word masterpiece? Well, I have been working on this 9 months and counting and it is not a 100,000-word masterpiece. At this point, I expect it to break 10,000 words, which is pretty astounding for me. But still ...)

Anyway, that 251-word addition brings me year-to-date word total up to 4,603 words and my daily word average to 55.45 words.

March 31: I wrote a few words earlier this week. Not many. Combining them with what I’ve written this morning, I’ve added 1,175 words. Which brings my YTD total up to 5,778 words and my daily average to 64.2 Still want/need to get some more writing done soon -- I really would like to get this thing finished soon -- but I’ll take the progress and be glad of it.

April 1: No fooling, I managed another 149 words this morning. That brings my YTD total up to 5,927 and my daily average up to 65.13 words -- well above my goal of 50 words a day. I’m kind of amazed at this point that this fic is my longest to date. That’s still not saying it’s a super-long masterpiece (particularly not saying it’s a masterpiece). But as someone who counts 500 words as long in real life, the fact that this thing is approaching 10,000 words kind of blows my mind. My previous length record was around 8,500.

April 5: Just when I thought I was about to clear-cut or, alternately, burn to the ground, a good chunk of the words I’ve managed so far this year, a timely comment from my beta kept me moving forward and now I can say, I think I’m done with my current effort! It still faces potential editing, but ... I wrote 914 words today, for a YTD total of 6,841 words and a daily average of 72 words a day! That’s astounding by my usual standards! And I’m so glad to be at this point with this one. 

April 27: Having finally posted the thing I spent about 9 months working on, I finally have dived into that exchange fic that’s due in just more than a month. It’s a 569-word dive, so far. I still have a long way to go, but a start is a start -- and it’s 569 words that I didn’t have 2 hours ago -- so I’ll take it! That brings my YTD word count up to 7,410 words and my daily average to 63.3333.

May 4: I’ve written 643 words so far today. I hope to add more, but there are other things that demand my attention, so I’m not sure it will happen. I love that this put me above the 1,000-word mark on my current writing effort, though I’m also intimidated by the reality of how many more words I will need within the next month to count this one as done by the exchange deadline. Anyway, today’s words bring my yearly word count up to 8,053 words and my daily average to 64.9 words. 

May 11: I wrote 801 words on May 5 and 401 words so far today, for a total of 1,202 words or a year-to-date total of 9,255 words in 131 days. Pretty exciting considering my usual year-end word-count total. That’s a daily average of 70.64 words a day, well above my 50-word a day goal. I still need to put a lot of words on doc before June rolls around, but I’m glad I’ve made it this far.

May 15: I was determined heading into this week to get some more writing done before the weekend. To that end, I wrote 256 words on May 14 and 485 words so far today. It still feels like pulling teeth, but it’s also still progress, so I’m hopeful. That brings my YTD word count up to 9,996 words in 135 days. That’s a daily average of 74.04 words. Considering how blown away I was to realize that I had managed 18,480 words during 2018, I’m pretty thrilled that I’ve managed more than half that in barely more than one-third of the year so far in 2019. If I could keep up that pace -- and write something that pleases me -- it would be amazing.

June 8: I ran into a period of time where words were being looked at, tweaked, erased, rewritten, etc., and I simply had no way of determining how many words I was actually *adding* to my daily count. So, working backward to the last thing I posted, when I had 6,841 words, and adding the 8,874-word thing I just posted (but which won’t be visible until the exchange goes live next week), I have a year-to-date total of 15,715 words in 159 days, for a daily average of 98.8 words a day. Considering my daily goal for 2019 is 50 words -- my end-of-2018 daily word rate -- I’m pretty pleased with my output so far this year. That said, it has been a heck of a struggle. The words are not coming easily, and nothing feels organic, really. I’m looking for something lyrical, poetic, musical, and I’m maybe managing math and science (neither of which has ever been my strong suit). So, yeah. I feel good about my writing productivity so far in 2019, but it would be great if some of those words would just *flow* out of me, instead of having to be pried out amid much wailing and nashing of teeth!

September 3: It’s been a bit of a dry spell, but ... I managed to write around 1,240 words during the Labor Day weekend. On a thing that’s been a WIP for more than 3 years. I last made substantial progress on it 2 years ago. I’m not sure the new stuff isn’t just boring as all get out, but I’m hoping not. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get it finished within the next month and, ideally, posted by Oct. 4. Sept. 14 would be even better, but that seems way optimistic. Anyway ... in the 245 days so far (through Sept. 2) in 2019, I have written approximately 16,955 words -- I say approximately, because there was a bit of editing to go with the additions, places where I lost a word, places where I added a few words, that I’m not even going to try to figure out. That’s a daily average of 69.2 words a day. Not as good as 98 words a day, but still well ahead of my 50-words-a-day goal for the year. I’ve also signed up for another exchange, which means there will be more writing relatively soon, even if I don’t finish the WIP. (And I really want to finish the WIP.)

September 8: I got my Spookfest assignment a few days ago (a few days early). Instead of working on it, though, I went back to my WIP and managed this morning to write another 1,542 words. That brings my year-to-date word count up to 18,497 and my daily word average (for 251 days) to 73.69 words. I would love it if I could finish this WIP within the next few days and post it and clear my writing path to focus on Spookfest. Still, I’ll just be glad/relieved/grateful that I’ve managed to make progress on a WIP that’s been lingering for far longer than I ever intended.

September 15: Between Saturday and today, I have added 1,183 words to the long-standing WIP. That brings my year-to-date word count up to 19,680 and my daily word average (for 258 days) up to 76.279 words. I can’t believe smut is actually the only thing now standing between me and the finish line on this fic.

September 21: It’s amazing what self-imposed deadlines do for my writing mojo. And giving myself an out. Because as soon as I’d almost managed to convince myself I could call it done, my brain supplied the missing part I was trying to pretend wasn’t missing. And as soon as I set a deadline (of my own making), I became determined to meet it. (If I don’t finish this WIP soon, it likely will go on hold for another year.) Which probably explains the 926 words I wrote this morning and the fact that time constraints are the only thing keeping me from writing more -- and possibly finishing -- today. Here’s hoping I can update this later today with a “finished” note. For now, I’ll just be grateful for what I’ve managed. It brings my year-to-date word count up to 20,606 (which I think is the first year I’ve broken 20,000 words written, and it’s only September) and my daily word average (for 264 days) to 78.05 words. 

September 22: I just added another 832 words to my WIP -- and may finally have finished the thing! We’ll see what my beta says. :-) That’s a year-to-date word total of 21,438 and a daily word average (for 265 days) of 80.898 words.

September 29/30: Well, my exchange fic officially is due in 25 days, but I will be out of town for the last few days of that, so I need to have it done in about 19 days. To that end, I finally started writing it on Sunday (the 29th). Managed 1,329 words. This morning (the 30th), I reread and rewrote just a bit and added a bit. It’s now up to 1,644 words. I’m hoping to get more done today, but work is calling, so writing may not happen. Still, my word count (in 273 days) is at 23,082 words and my daily word average for the year is 84.5 words. I’ll take it. (Now to get my exchange fic finished!)

October 5/6: I added 1,295 words to my current exchange fic on Saturday, followed by another 814 today. That brings my year-to-date word total for 279 days up to 25,191 words and my daily word average to 90.29 words. I still have a lot more that needs to be written on this one, and ideally in the next 12 days. I would love to get back to it today, but I really feel as if I need to get something else aside from writing accomplished today. So, I’m sticking a pin in it for now. (I’m pleased with my progress, nervous for what remains, not entirely satisfied with how it’s going, but also hopeful that it will work out in the end.) 

October 12: I added 1,588 words to mostly finish my current exchange fic, though I’m still not thrilled with the ending, which is likely to be tweaked. In 285 days, that’s 26,779 words for a daily average of 93.96. 

October 16: After three days of thinking about it, I finally came up with an ending I like, though I’m not yet sure if it will be the one that adds 51 words or the one that adds more. Still, I wrote all of those words and I’m counting them. That gives me another 166 words today -- 289 days into the year -- for a yearly word total of 26,945 and a daily word average of 93.23 words. Also, considering my daily word goal for the year was 50 words a day and, even if I don’t write another word in the next 2.5 months I will have met and exceeded my goal by almost 50 percent, I’m pretty pleased with that! 

November 9-10: After a couple of hectic weeks involving travel and a bout of crud that may be allergies, may actually be a cold, but most definitely was exhausting, I found time Nov. 9 to start writing a PWP idea I came up with on my trip. (It was some inspiring scenery, let me tell you!) After writing more than 900 words yesterday, I found more time to write today and now have a mostly finished PWP of 2,821 words. (I may tweak the ending and am awaiting my beta’s thoughts but, otherwise, it is whole.) That brings me to a yearly word total of 29,766 words and a daily word average (314 days into the year) of 94.79 words a day. I’m pretty stoked. Both by the word count/average and the fact that I may have actually written something in just two days. 

November 30: I decided to participate in an Advent fic prompt effort and, to that end, wrote 1,000 words today for Sunday’s first day of December. That brings me up to 30,766 words for the year and a daily word average (334 days into the year) of 92.1 words a day.

December 1: Continuing with the Advent fic effort, I wrote 1,497 words today for a year-to-date total of 32,263 words and a daily word average (335 days into the year) of 96.3 words. Of course, at this point I’m telling myself I really should get on the ball for the third day’s fic, because I work tomorrow and writing time will be limited. But I’m not sure I have more in me for today. 

Dec. 7: Playing catch-up, because I decided to join an Advent fic thing and have spent my spare time this past week writing. (Happily, far more words than I expected. On Dec. 2, I managed 430 words. Dec. 3, 1,070 words. Dec. 4, I had no time to write (at least not fic; I had a lot of words at work). Dec. 5, 628 words. Dec. 6, I wrote a few hundred words, burned them to the ground and started fresh Dec. 7, when I wrote 1,724 words plus 224. That gives me 4,076 words for the week and a year-to-date total of 36,339 words and a daily average (341 days in) of 106.56 words a day. Considering my goal for the year was a daily average of 50 words, I’m blown away.

Dec. 28: Playing catch-up again! Well, I did fall behind on the Advent fic. But I’m pretty pleased with how well I managed to stay caught up for a while. I still hope to get back to it and write at least some of the remaining prompts, but I’m not holding myself to any particular time frame. (The holidays are crazy busy.) Anyway ...

Since Dec. 7, I have written 5,388 words. Which, once upon a time would have been about half of a year’s worth of writing. However far behind I am on the Advent calendar (I don’t think I’ll manage to wrap it up by Epiphany even, since I still have 12 prompts to write), that’s a lot of writing for me in that short of a time frame. It also brings my year-to-date word count up to 41,727 words and my daily average up to 115.267 words a day, more than double my goal of 50 words a day at the start of the year. I’m still hopeful that I’ll be able to add to it before the year is over, but I won’t beat myself up over it at all if I don’t.  

Note: I ended the year without writing anything more, so my year-end word count was 41,727 words and my daily word average was 114.32 words. According to AO3, the most words I’ve posted previously in a year was 20,500 in 2015. (AO3 credits me with 59,000 words in 2019, but I know at least 7,000 of those were written in previous years and posted this year. IDK how to explain the rest of the difference in word count. Did I really write 10,000 words worth of end notes?!)

[weirdlizard26]

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

 96. desktop background?

 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

 98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

[lululawrence]

Hi, I was wondering if I could ask you about like, how often you write, and how much you write when you write. I always look at your writing and im like dammmn lulu is so well written and writes so much and I was just wondering how you manage to get it done and if you have any tips and advice for making the time and getting the writing done?

Hi!! I meant to answer this while I had my laptop out earlier today and forgot so now you get my likely very untidy phone type up of my thoughts. Apologies in advance hehe

So how often I write! It depends on the time of year. Usually once school is in session I write at least 4-5 times a week. It’s sometimes only fifteen minutes here and thirty minutes there, but I do try to get at least two or three good hour+ writing sessions in a week just because I emotionally and mentally do better with that and with the kids in school I have that opportunity more often. Once November comes along I write pretty much every single day because of nanowrimo. November is also the start of what I call my anxious season and writing is a BIG coping mechanism for me, so i write pretty much daily all the way until the anxious season is over. (Sometimes that’s mid January, sometimes that’s April. It varies.) then it goes back down to about 3-4 times a week until summer break and at that point who the hell knows??? I do get at least one or two good writing sessions in each week generally during that time though.

This is all going to be basically going out the window this winter though with baby #3 coming in January so keep tuned on that. Hahaha!

As for how much I write, it depends on a lot of factors. What I’m writing, how much time I have, what deadlines I’m working with, what my mood and focus level is like that day, how well I’ve been sleeping, etc etc etc. generally speaking I don’t sit down and tell myself how many words I wanna write. I might have a goal of “I want to finish this scene” or just “write as much as I can in the 20 minutes before I have to leave for appointment c” or whatever, but I don’t hold those in too high regard. If it happens it happens, and if not, maybe next time. The only reason I even know how much I write in one session or hour or whatever is because that’s how my writing support group chats are able to help cheer me on even if no one else is writing at the same time. I tell them my starting word count and when I’m checking back in, and then when I come back I give my end word count. If possible, I write for an hour at a time, so I come to know my usual hourly word count abilities etc. if I’m in a good vibe I can usually get anywhere from 1700 words an hour to 2200 words, but that obviously fluctuates.

ALSO. This isn’t how it’s always been. I used to do writing parties with writers far more experienced than me and they’d get numbers like I just gave you while I was struggling to write 800 words in that same time frame. I sent think I would ever get higher. But I wasn’t writing as frequently, I hadn’t learned the best writing practices for myself yet, I hadn’t found my writing groove, you know? I was still learning and growing and getting to where I am now, five years after I started. And I’m being serious right now, the comic sans trick works. Lol

As for how I get it done, it’s like i said in the previous paragraph. I learned what works best for me in loads of ways. Settings of where I’m writing plays a big part. I can write at home but I’ll be writing at least half speed that I would at the library or Starbucks. I write best in the afternoon but my other big writing groove time is between 7-10 pm generally speaking. I am HUGELY motivated by deadlines. If a fic doesn’t have an actual deadline, I have to make one up for it in my head or it won’t be written and if it is it’ll be so drawn out and I’ll drag my feet even if I wanna write it and love it and yeah. I also know I need to talk to people about my writing. I have to tell someone I’m doing it and have that feeling of reporting back to prove I did it cause I am a FUCKING LEO and I need other people to applaud me when I actually do what I set out to do. Haha all of these things combine and have been learned piece by piece for me over the years until I’ve gotten to where I am now. I was NOT this efficient before. I also did a stupid personal challenge of writing a birthday fic for every friend I was close enough to to know their birthdays one year which resulted in my writing over 42 fics in a single calendar year (I also had exchanges and other challenges I wrote for so there were hella deadlines and that taught me a lot about my writing limits, how fast I could write an entire fic, how to condense fics and ideas, and so on and so forth) and I felt like the insanity of that year opened every door and window for me writing wise. I feel like I can literally do anything I set out to do in fic writing now. I’ve also come to appreciate me writing fics for myself too though hahaha

SO. Tips!!! Keep going. Keep trying. Keep stretching and using those writing muscles and try new things. Find what techniques work for you. Is it motivation you’re lacking? Support? Rewards? Deadlines? Typing ability? Confidence? Figure out what you think is your biggest hurdle and try to rectify it. Try writing new and different things you haven’t tried before, even if they’re just drabbles. Just don’t let mental constraints of what you think you can and can’t do force you to stay in certain bounds because you learn from every experience and through time you’ll come to know how you work best as well. Keep swimming!

But also, keep reading. Reading gives me the biggest motivation. I love reading and giving comments to other writers who help entertain me and inspire me and cultivating relationships with other writers too. The writing community here in this fandom is SO deep and SO beautiful and loving and supportive. We are incredibly lucky and I love being a part of it. everyone here helps me keep going all the time and I love reading what they put out just as much as I love writing. So. I also recommend you continue reading as well. ☺️☺️

This is SO LONG and I apologize. I’d do a read more if I wasn’t on mobile. But I do hope you find this helpful or at the very least not boring!

What it all comes down to is this. Everyone’s process is different. Everyone’s speed is different. Part of the reason I can write so fast is I don’t edit as I go. I just. Don’t. I throw an entire sopping heap of messy writing at my betas and they clean it up and make it pretty. Others can’t work like that. They have to edit as they write which will naturally slow them down. So just also don’t compare yourself. You can always aim to improve, but in the end the numbers don’t matter outside of helping you attain your own personal goals.

Good luck!! You’re doing and gonna continue doing amazing things. I can feel it. ☺️😘😘😘😘😘