#editing my own damn post to add: i realized what the look on his face is

[bane-amesta]

Vergil's journey: The true DMC5 Special Edition (?)

First attempt ever at posting fics here, let me know if I made a mistake in any sort of way plz Basically this is my "fuck it I'll do it myself" about Crapcom's custom to make Vergil playable just a copypaste into the og campaign with no story or context at all lmao

Also is a prologue for my longer DMC5 fic (too long to post it here sadly), I'll add the links to AO3 at the end :D Enjoy!

Autoimposed rules while writing this:

1º Using only Vergil's POV 2º Make it work within the game, aka not using scenarios, dialogs, etc from other entries 3º Make sure to add sections that can be interpreted as gameplay, cinematics, and also the trope of obtaining weapons along the way (I excluded bosses since this can be just any random thing from the enemies list lol) 4º Exclude any of my fanfic shenanigans since those are already a creature on its own xD

Nightmares were always with him. It was the only thing that was always with him. And he was on the verge of wishing for death just to see if he could make them dissapear once and for all.

Until suddenly, without any explanation, that endless cycle stopped.

He opened his eyes, looked around him, not knowing where he was. But that was not important. Hell will always be hell.

Something was different, however, the eternal torture that had become part of him was gone.

Finally, he looked at his hands, hoping to see the damn armor that had held him captive for how long? Months, years, centuries?

But no, there was none of that, except his own hands, covered by the usual gloves, and the blue coat was badly damaged, but not destroyed.

This was so unusual that it took him a while to understand. But it was undeniable.

Nelo Angelo was dead. Vergil had been reborn, survived, somehow.

He tried to get up, but he was very weak, in pain. But that pain was only physical, something new, because it told him that his body, even in that state, refused to die yet. He could see faint marks on his skin, as if he were made of clay about to crack. Yet he was still in one piece, alive.

And that was enough for the moment.

Hearing the usual demonic roar in the distance, he rushed to unsheathe his sword, only to realize it was not in his hand. For a brief second horror filled his face. But then his mind brought back the memories that had been taken from him when he was forced to be a puppet of the prince of darkness.

Vergil trying to get the power of Sparda, Dante trying to prevent it. The final battle at the entrance to the underworld, with his father's sword, his hands barely picking up the amulet that was rightfully his before leaping into the void.

Mundus, glaring at him as he charged forward feigning arrogance, despite knowing that this battle could be his last.

Finally, the darkness surrounding him as his sword fell to pieces, engulfed by a sea of blood, before his eyes were covered and his mind closed, to give the last touches at the new toy of the underworld's ruler.

His head kept spinning, all that coming back suddenly was too cruel.

Vergil managed to get up at last, not so much from needing to move, as to focus his thoughts on something else, anything, but it was useless. The memories kept coming back to him.

Trish's creation, Mallet Island, Dante fighting his way with his father's sword instead of his own, and facing Nelo Angelo without knowing who was behind the armor.

What would Dante have thought after that victory, and discovered Vergil behind the creature he just killed?

He put his hand to his neck on reflex, and found only the fabric of his worn clothes. He almost felt like laughing. Even the amulet, now useless, had been taken from him.

Another noise, closer this time, brought him back to reality. This time he had no choice, he must face danger, or flee. But Vergil has never been that kind of person.

Even without his Yamato, he was going to fight somehow.

With enormous effort, he accomplished his goal. About eight bright blue swords appeared around him, creating a constantly rotating shield. A technique created years ago, imbued with the most vivid despair, when he was still a child and there was no one, nothing to protect him.

That idea made him frown. He greatly disliked having to go back to this to survive, but after thinking about it for a moment, none of it mattered anymore.

He has anything to lose, not anymore.

And he could still fight.

He walked in the direction of the noise, which turned out to be a miserable low-grade demon, which didn't last long enough for it to mean anything. At least in this state he could still have that kind of personal satisfaction.

The only thing he regretted was not being able to beat his brother one last time. He had been defeated so many times that he could no longer live or die in peace until he did. A single victory was all he needed.

How to do it was not clear yet, but he was sure that something could be done about it.

Yamato separated the demons from the humans. It was the key to isolate both worlds and separate them completely.

...Why had that particular phrase popped into his mind?

More importantly, did that phrase have a more literal meaning than he ever thought?

There was one thing Vergil had never tried, and which, in the current situation, might as well be his last chance.

Dante's power awakened when Vergil pierced his brother's body with his own sword.

Something that never happened to him.

What would happen to Vergil if he did the same?

The only way to know was to try.

The Yamato was so attached to his being, that he feel capable to even tracking the sword, as soon as he had regained some energy.

That was motivation enough to keep walking.

With effort he disposed of the garbage that crossed his path, even before they knew he was there. The summoned swords turned into spears that he could throw away, saving energy. His body wasn't in the best shape, so he wasn't going to try too hard if he could help it. Vergil was grateful for the distant moment when he received a simple but powerful advice: that disdaining firearms was no excuse for not having an ace up his sleeve, in the form of a long-range attack.

If he had no weapons, he could just try creating some other variation of the same attack, after all, he had plenty of time to experiment. And there were many demons that could give him something interesting after a fight.

The latter was an idea that he would only use in an emergency, since it was nevertheless only one weapon that he really needed. The rest was optional.

He kept walking and slaying demons, avoiding the ones that were too much for his current abilities, for who knows for how long. Time is a concept that have its own rules in the underworld, but something was evident. The Yamato was in the human world. He had to find a way to get back.

Luckily for him, the most powerful demons used to be near the dimensional holes that led to the other side, which they always used to go hunting when they were fed up with the usual garbage.

When he was not fighting for his life, Vergil heard voices, rumors of something coming, an event so strange that some no longer remembered whether it was true or not, but that those who were above the rest knew very well, and were preparing to take advantage of it.

The Qlipoth, the demon tree, was growing again, and it would soon reach the human world. And the demon who managed to eat its fruit would rise as the king, the strongest of all, just like Mundus in his day.

With such an opportunity, no one cared about the poor wretches at the end of the food chain. Something that of course Vergil used for his own purposes. Being ignored, probably for the first time as Sparda's son, deeply offended him, but he couldn't afford it, considering his state. Besides, he had more important things to do.

At this point, he had already managed to create a near-perfect copy of the Force Edge, his father's sword, which he was unable to claim for himself and ended up in Dante's hands. He was still somewhat angry about it, but lamenting was useless. This new version was part of his energy and therefore he would never lose it. That gave him a little more self-confidence.

And perhaps luck was reaching out to him, feeling guilty after ignoring him for so long, because as soon as he set foot in the human world, he knew immediately where to turn.

The city of Fortuna.

Unfortunately, his body was not in tune with his mind, since he also felt that what little strength he had gathered was leaving him again, this time with the certainty that there's no time to waste. A quick glance at the first surface that allowed it, informed Vergil that his face was beginning to crack as well. So the first thing he did in the human world was look for something that would hide his pathetic appearance.

Another unexpected stroke of luck led him to find Beowulf on his way to his destination, at the home of a collector who clearly had no idea of the weapon's true value.

In the eyes of mere humans, that would be considered theft, for Vergil it was nothing more than recovering something long time lost.

But his body grew weaker and weaker; for the same reason, his mind was focused back on that single purpose, dispatching the enemies that appeared as quickly as possible, conveniently forgetting that he had already visited that city once, and that the young man who kindly offered him something to eat might or might not to be more than just a stranger.

Why did he have the Yamato? Why was his appearance so similar to Vergil's?

Those questions disappeared immediately, the boy noticed that something was wrong, and his arm flashed to show him the threat.

That was all that Vergil needed, with what little strength he had left, he tore off the kid's arm without hesitation, and calling the sword, opened a portal, crossing it without looking back, with the certainty that he had won another enemy.

But that didn't matter. His mission was more important, he could not afford to die without achieving it first. And a child was no reason to worry. The end justifies the means, after all.

He went on his way, although this time the correct thing to say would be that he was going back instead of forward. Going back to his childhood's city was not something to take lightly.

Vergil is not the kind of person to look back. He never did it before, it was a waste of time, a useless torture. Right now, however, it was a kind of ritual that needed to be done.

To achieve his goal, severing ties permanently was a prerequisite.

And doing it in the old family home was the most appropriate thing to do.

He looked at the huge portrait of what was once a happy family. It was quite damaged, but the overall image was still somehow recognizable. Mysteriously the mother had been "saved", her features were the only ones clearly visible, while the face of the father and the two children had been lost in the black of combustion.

How ironic, Vergil thought, as he focused on the twins, and it didn't take any effort to tell them apart, it was obvious to him.

-Dante...

His twin brother, the only living relative he had left, the reason he was there, about to abandon everything, hoping to regain his lost honor back, in one last desperate attempt.

Turning his back on the portrait, to his family, he focused on what he had come to do, he didn't know what would come of it all, but again, it didn't matter anymore.

Separating man from demon was his last hope, and along with it, he also took care to cut off everything he considered a weakness, the reasons for his defeat, the nightmares that constantly reminded him that he still had not managed to obtain the power that he had sought so much.

He stabbed himself with the sword while he recited that spell that, to tell the truth, he no longer remembered where he found it.

As pain stalked him again, he felt that his plan had worked, his human side and his nightmares were successfully discarded, and something grew within him, a raw and savage power that grew ever greater.

And so Vergil ceased to exist... for a period of a month, or so.

When V achieved his own goal, and plunged the cane into the demon king to unite the two halves again, the being known as Vergil returned. As he watched the pieces of the illusion fall, the mansion disappearing, he realized that he never predicted this outcome. V had been discarded and his mission was fulfilled at the exact moment of his "birth", but he did not expect that, instead of lying down to die and accepting his fate, that remnant of his would do the opposite.

However, to say that he was upset about it would be a lie.

Because thanks to that, this time he could finally face his old rival in the same conditions, a fair and long-awaited fight, because yes, Urizen had also left his mark on this new Vergil and he remembered his battles, but for some reason, it was not the same.

Perhaps the human side of him was much more complex or important than he ever thought, but Urizen, powerful as he was, was far too… simple. A creature with only one purpose in mind was not what Vergil wished for when he thought of a perfect demon, and his victories were far from truly satisfying.

Vergil didn't have an answer to this question, and he would probably never find it, but that was past.

At this moment, something more interesting was in front of him: Dante, tired, but in the mood for a fight.

Beside him, that boy, Nero, his expression showed with brutal frankness the confusion he felt in this strange situation. He had helped V, but of course he never imagined that V was a part of the individual who stole his arm. Even with V's explanation, he didn't seem to understand why this was absolutely necessary for the brothers, something inevitable.

However, instead of going straight for the attack, Vergil looked to the ground, where was the book that V had taken with him from the first seconds of his existence. Again, he wondered why he had held onto that object so vehemently. It was not a weapon, nor was it a pleasant memory, yet he couldn't help it. Now, as Vergil, he did the same, pick it up, and put it away. Something unusual about him, but there was no time to think, Dante made the first move.

Vergil felt refreshed, this time, stronger than ever thanks to the fruit of the tree, which gifted him with a couple of new skills that he was eager to try, and dispatched Dante almost effortlessly. He even felt the luxury of giving his brother a chance to rest, before the final fight.

For some reason he couldn't understand at the time, he turned around, looking at Nero before disappearing through the portal.

-Thank you, Nero...

Why he said that? Those kinds of words weren't his style, always used to getting what he needed on his own. But denying the boy's participation was absurd, even when V didn't hesitate for a moment to use him as a tool to achieve his goal, Nero as well didn't hesitate to help V when he was so close to die.

Vergil opened his eyes again. This time he was at the top of the demon tree, thousands of meters above the city, waiting patiently for Dante, and in that span of time he had done something unbecoming of him: look back, reflect on the past and all the decisions that led to this time and place. It must have been a bad habit inherited from V, who had perhaps become too used to that mental torture, as he searched for the discarded nightmares in a pathetic attempt to confront Urizen.

But that little lapse had come to an end. Dante had arrived, demanding the sword that belonged to him by right, and that this time no one would steal it ever again.

-If you want it, you'll have to take it. But you already knew that.

-I had the feeling you'd say that.

A smile was born from both of them, aware that this time would be the last. Years of conflict and rivalry, condensed into a decisive battle.

One of the two would die here. But even so they smiled, remembering old times and accustomed from their earliest childhood to solving everything that way, their own particular way of relating as a family.

That last word, however, ended up attacking Vergil in an unexpected way, when Dante in the middle of the fight, remarked casually (or perhaps with a well-calculated purpose), that Nero was his son.

-You cutt off your own son's arm for THIS?

-My son…? That means nothing to me!- Vergil replied immediately, without stopping to think about what Dante had meant.

The confrontation continued almost like nothing, but when Vergil was about to be defeated, he stepped aside to throw Dante away, and in that moment, his brain finally made the missing connection.

-Nero is my son?- He asked wearily, unable to hide the disbelief in his voice.

-Yeah, dumbass- Dante answered with a slight laugh as he got up-, You can't remember through that thick skull of yours?

If Vergil stopped to think, yes, it all made sense, and he wondered why he hadn't noticed it before, even that annoying bird hinted at V more than once the same thing. Something that, in those moments of uncertainty, did not matter.

Although it was more correct to say that he deliberately ignored all the clues.

But then, something else passed through his mind, a memory that he had believed dead and forgotten, a woman's face that...

-Well, well, that was a long time ago- he said without further ado, ending that topic.

-I guess you were young once too. As much as I'd love to hear that story, I think it's about time we...

-...Ended this- Vergil answered immediately.

That was too deep of a secret, which he preferred to take to the grave, and would do everything he could to make sure of it.

Dante would never know about that matter. If he already had motives to kill him before, now he must do it at any cost.

Both men drew their weapons, took their most powerful form, ready for one last attack.

They charge at the same time, intending to finish it all in one strike.

The dreaded final slash never happened. Something appeared in front of the brothers, stopping them with a hand on their chest, also holding the hands that wielded both swords at the same time.

A demon with long white hair and blue wings.

They barely had time to recognize Nero, before he threw them away, and gave his own opinion on the matter.

-This ends, right here. I won't let you kill each other. 

Vergil couldn't help but react when Nero in one blow sent Dante flying as he tried to pull the boy to the side, without even looking at him. Maybe the boy was indeed his son after all.

He was aware that Nero was still upset about being called a deadweight, and knew immediately from whom he had inherited that spiteful trait.

Unfortunately, he couldn't celebrate seeing Dante on the ground, because now Nero turned in his direction.

-There are other ways to settle your differences. I'm putting a stop to this sibling rivalry.

Vergil couldn't help but laugh. Nero made it sound so easy.

The situation was so absurd.

A child trying to teach adults a lesson.

-Ah, you came all this way just for that.

-Vergil, V... Whatever you call yourself. Dante won't die here, and neither will you. You have a problem with that?

Okay, now this was unusual. V witnessed in the front row his talent to hold a grudge, how Nero was determined to defeat and eliminate the bastard who cut off his arm. Perhaps knowing now that they were family had made Nero reconsider, despite what Vergil had done to him?

Would he forgive him just for that?

No, of course not, that was not what Nero had in mind. He would not be a descendant of Sparda if he chose the peaceful route.

So this kid wants to fight. Vergil understood his motives, of course, but that was not equivalent to taking him seriously. Having a new power was not enough. Vergil tried to engage Dante, tempt him to fight again and thus pushing Nero aside, but he completely ignored him.

-Whatever, I don't really care, I'm just gonna sit this one out- said the younger twin, laying down on the ground ready to take a nap.

Damn it, Dante.

So it was Vergil vs Nero.

-When this is over, I'll make you submit… Father.

That word sent a chill down his spine. It was strange, unknown, and he immediately knew he would never get used to it.

Again Vergil tried to not engage in the fight.

-This has nothing to do with you. Stand down.

-Nothing to do with me? It has everything to do with me!

-Nero…

He suddenly realized something. It's not just that he has no reason to fight Nero.

Vergil doesn't want to fight Nero.

But why?

It's not fear, no. The boy is stronger now, but he is still too young and inexperienced to compare up to the twins. Or maybe, maybe yes, because Nero wants something very particular out of this fight, and Vergil isn't willing to even think about it.

He just dodged, and launched weak attacks. He really did not want to take the situation to a point of no return, but the boy would not listen to reasons.

-Fuck you!

-You…

The kid is angry. Without even seeing him grow up, Vergil knew that he had inherited the method of solving problems with his fists. It brought back memories of those old fights with Dante over anything and everything, but this time the motive was more important, getting Vergil to recognize him as his son.

-You feeling accepting yet?

-…Your existence, or your strength?

-Both you fuckin' asshole!

...If Nero wants recognition from him, then he will have to earn it.

It was time to check the boy's real strength.

Vergil had no choice but to fight seriously, an oversight could send him flying, just like Dante. He wasn't going to let himself be humiliated by the boy, not when he could see Dante out of the corner of his eye, sitting down and enjoying the show. He wanted so badly to kick his ass when it was all over...

The fight ran its course, and to Vergil's disappointment, the youngest was the winner.

-Interesting...

-Ahahaha, oh brother, you cut off your son's arm for more power, and you still lost.

-Enough dammit! The underworld is taking over, we need to do something before it's too late.

A trembling proved Nero right.

-He's right, we need to close that portal. Hey, you lost, so you better do what he says.

Vergil wasn't going to admit defeat so easily. He got to his feet as best he could, and for the first time he felt that the weight of his age was upon him.

-I can still fight.- Nero was on guard again. -But if those roots continue to spread through town, it'll just interfere with our business.

Vergil started walking and Dante got up to follow him, leaving Nero behind.

It was not necessary to explain to his brother what they had to do. Without crossing a word they had already agreed.

-Now, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say. Better hurry up… We still got a score to settle.

-Evidently.

-Wait, where are you going?

Vergil turned to Nero to explain the situation.

-We need to sever the Qliphoth roots from the underworld itself. Then we'll seal the portal with the Yamato.

Nero looked at them both, immediately understanding the situation.

-Hang on, if you do that, you can't come back.

This time Dante answered.

-Why do you think I'm goin'? Somebody's gotta keep an eye on your old man.

The brothers turned their backs on Nero as they walked away.

-You can't just expect me to stay here while you both go-

-It's because you're here we can go-. Dante said suddenly. -We're trusting you with things on this side, capisce?

Vergil didn't stop to watch. Whatever relationship those two had, that moment was the closest thing to a goodbye, and he didn't want to be a part of it. It was better to leave as soon as possible.

-Make haste, Dante.

-Yeah. I know.

Of course, Nero disagreed. There was no need to look him in the face to figure it out.

-Hey, wait!

They both heard him run in his direction, and with that twin instinct, they synchronized to hit the young man and send him flying back, far enough away that he couldn't do anything about it.

-Take care, Nero. Adiós.

Dante left first, clearly intending to give the two of them a moment alone.

Vergil wasn't in the mood for a family reunion, but he couldn't just walk away.

-I won't lose next time.

He looked at the book in his hand, considering that idea that had just occurred to him.

-Hold onto that until then.

There, it was done. He threw the book to the ground, and while he followed the same path as Dante leaving his son behind, he thought that "farewell" wasn't too bad.

Now there was only one problem left: getting rid of Dante.

It was obvious that he would stick to Vergil like a pesky plague while they were in the underworld. They were heading to cut down the demon tree and the younger twin was already talking way too much. Vergil let him be, more out of boredom than anything else. As soon as he managed to defeat Dante, that annoying chat would be a thing of the past.

But again his plans weren't working, and they were already enjoying the fights as a game rather than a death battle.

-Score for Dante! I'm up one.

-Where did you learn to count? We're even.

Dante lay down to rest, as if they weren't in the middle of hell, open to a possible attack.

-You know, I'm starting to think, this is never gonna end.

-Maybe. We have plenty of time.

He couldn't deny that there was some fun, just like the old days. The only problem is that Dante occasionally threw out things about Nero way too casually for Vergil's taste, like nothing.

-By the way, how'd it felt catching up with your kid?

-There's no need for us to "catch up".

-Well, with an attitude like that, you'll never gonna meet your grandkids.

Vergil didn't take a second to put the Yamato on his brother's neck.

-That's enough. I don't want to hear it.

Dante nodded, but his expression made it clear that he wasn't going to shut up about it so easily.

At least Vergil will have plenty of time to try to silence him once and for all...

My AO3 page for those interested

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurasakiWitch/works

[this-is-krikkit]

hi!! read you're doing prompts, can you do the 9th? i feel like it's a perfect one for levihan 😂

send me a number and a ship and i'll write a drabble!

thank you for sending this prompt ! it does have undeniable levihan vibes to it 😏

Prompt 9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

Zeke (★now edited and posted on ao3 ★)

Characters: Levi, Hange, Zeke

Tags: modern au, levihan, no zekehan or zevi i promise, i just think i'm hilarious sometimes and you guys have to deal with it hehehe, erumike mentioned, tw alcohol mention ig

.

Hange gets out of the shower, puts on the clean shirt Levi had left for them in the bathroom and sneaks into the bedroom quietly. They successfully stop a yelp from escaping and only wince as they bump their toe into their bedside table, and put the miraculously unspilled glass of water they'd brought in with them on it.

They crawl under the duvet quickly, delighted to have made it here just as the hangover headache was starting to make their head throb, and frown as they realize something heavy has taken over most of their side of the bed. They reach back and click their light on, and feel their eyes widening as they take in the sight.

"What the- Levi, what's Zeke doing here?" they ask, way too loud even by their own standards.

"Fuck's sake, four-eyes," Levi moans, voice groggy and dry, "what's it look like? He's sleeping. And so am I, so shut the fuck up and turn the damn light off."

Hange bites their lip to stop themself from commenting on his bed hair or the adorably cranky look on his half asleep face, and obey his order.

Before they swiftly climb over both him and the dog, and stretch their arm far enough to turn on the light on his own bedside instead. They fully laugh when Levi whines again, swearing some more, and the Husky joins his protest with a loud howl.

"And where do I sleep, grumpy-grumps?" Hange asks, fluffing the dog's fur, who quickly calms down at the attention.

"I don't care, just get out of my bed," Levi replies, his voice all muffled from speaking into his pillow as he protects his eyes from the sting of the light.

Hange gasps in faked horror, Zeke looking up at them in concern at the sound.

"You can't banish me! This is my bed too!"

Levi groans again, and blindly feels behind him with his hand.

"Not anymore," he sighs in reflief when he finds his mark and darkness replaces the cruel artificial light. "Now it's mine and Zeke's."

"Right... and since when do you allow this- how'd you put it again- 'overactive drama queen of a hairball', to get on the sheets you love so much and shed all over them?" Hange pushes, genuinely curious.

"Since you leave me for two nights in a row to go on a weekend-long party with your brother and his brainless jock friends. And I was planning on changing the sheets later today anyway," he adds as an afterthought.

"Mike's bachelor party was fun, honey, thank you for asking," Hange replies playfully. "But I still don't understand how that has anything to do with your rules regarding the dog's sleeping-

"For your information, your four legged soulmate here wouldn't stop whining and howling at the front door until I let him come in here," he interrupts in a huff. "I don't know what he was so anxious about, but he had a really hard time sleeping without you around."

Hange's eyes have grown accustomed to the shadows by now, and they don't miss the way Levi stares at Zeke, actively avoiding to look at their own face. They should have known from the minute they came home and Levi was still in bed in the middle of the day that his insomnia had been acting up again, and it twists something in their gut to hear him confess so in his own twisted way, especially when they know he'd been working long hours the week before.

They hum and perch themself back on what little space they've got left on their side of the bed, letting one of their hands land on Levi's pillow to ruffle his hair and massage his scalp as they pet the dog's fur with the other.

"I'm sorry you didn't get to rest properly," they say softly.

Levi sighs, and his fingers link with theirs over the dog's belly.

"From the looks of you right now, I'd say you didn't either," he jokes. "Did you really have fun?"

"So much. I don't see how Erwin's going to beat that next weekend, honestly."

"Well, don't tell him that. He's so competitive he'd do the craziest shit just to try and prove you wrong."

They feel their own grin widening, and Levi chuckles when he spots it.

"Tch, four-eyes..." he warns, shaking his head in faked disapproval.

"Come on, what's the point of being one groom's sibling and the other's best friend if I don't get to mess with them a little?"

They yawn around the end of the sentence, which makes it sound way less villainous than they'd meant.

"Better get some rest while you can, then, evil mastermind," Levi scoffs, failing to hide his own reflex yawn.

Hange vaguely remembers letting out a weak laugh and pinching his nose in retaliation for his mocking tone, before falling into deep slumber.

[anotherwritersblog]

Title: Happily Ever After

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Rating: Anyone/Everyone

Word Count: 1.6K-ish

Warnings: some fluff, mentions of anxiety, some language (writing and posting to tumblr is new to me, so if I ever miss anything that needs to be mentioned, please just let me know)

Summary: Facing your fears leads to one of the best days of your life.

Author's Note: Hi. First time posting to Tumblr (as well as writing Chris), but not a first time writer. I've got a thing or two in progress on other sites, but I think I'm going to wait and see how this one pans out here. Thought of a few drabbles pertaining to this as well, so I might add on with those later. I don't know. We'll see. This story is beta'd by myself, so any mistakes are my own. I would also like to admit that I’ve made moodboards before, but with my own pictures. So this edit was also a first 😅 I’m still working on it. Lol. No joke. I remade the damn thing at least five times.

Any and all reblogs/likes/comments are appreciated.

In no way, shape, or form, do you have permission to repost this anywhere.

____________________

Growing up, Disney had always been a big part of my life. I'd come down for breaks during my school years, over summers to visit my family, and then weekends when I was an adult and I finally moved 15 minutes away. It was always a dream of mine to live so close, but also to find someone who loved it as much as I did. Someone to enjoy the food, festivals, and rides with.

And that's where Chris comes in.

I had been in the Expedition Everest Single Rider line one afternoon. I told myself I was going to finally try it. Was I excited? No. Terrified? Absolutely.

I sat in the last row of the roller coaster, when this tall brunette slid in next to me. We were instructed to lower the bar and 'Enjoy the ride!'

Everyone ahead of us was chattering quietly as we ascended the track to the top. I was grabbing the bar with my life, my knuckles starting to turn white. I heard a soft chuckle and glanced to my right.

"First time?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "Unfortunately. I'm used to rides like the Haunted Mansion or the Little Mermaid. Those are more my speed." This time he laughed a little harder.

"I"m so glad that my pain and suffering can bring a stranger so much joy," I rolled my eyes.

We get to the top of the track and stop. Soon an announcement comes on that the ride will start back up shortly and to stay seated. "Mother fucker.." I mumbled before I heard the man next to me say "Language!" I whipped my head around and looked at him a little closer. He dawned a pair of sunglasses, a Patriot's cap, and a beautiful full beard. He pulled his sunglasses down a little, and I was soon pierced by the most beautiful eyes I've seen on screen before.

"Shut the front door," I gasped as he shot me a wink before pushing his glasses back up. "Stop. What are you doing here?" I asked, finally realizing who I sat next to.

"Just wanted to get a quick trip in before I..." he hesitated for a moment "before I go back to work." Obviously, he wasn't going to tell me what 'work' entailed (but a few years later, I found out it was Avengers: End Game).

"Of course. Just my luck. The day I get stuck on my first roller coaster, and sit on the verge of an anxiety attack, it's with you," I buried my face into my hands.

"Hey. At least I can relate to that. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt." This time, I was laughing until I heard another announcement. The ride was starting up shortly.

My heart dropped and I went back to white-knuckling the bar. I soon felt a large hand engulf mine. "You'll be okay. I promise." And soon, we were off.

My heart was racing the entire time, but I think it was also because Chris' hand never left mine. We screamed, albeit for different reasons, but it was...exhilarating.

Soon after, the coaster came to a stop and everyone was getting out. I was still sitting when I heard "You coming?" and turned to see that Chris was holding his hand out. I took it, stepped from the seat, and we walked towards the exit.

"So, what'd you think?" he asked, as we stepped off to the side, just outside of the exit.

"Well..my heart is still pounding, and I can't decide if I want to go grab lunch now, or after riding that again," I smiled as I look up at him, greeted with a smile of his own.

"Well..how about we ride it again, and then I'll buy you lunch?" he asked.

"Oh. You don't have to. I'm sure you have other plans for toda-"

"I did," he cut me off. "But it'd be more fun to do them with someone than by myself. Besides. You deserve a good lunch for facing your fears today."

And from that day on, everything was history.

I gave him my number that night, and told him that if he were ever at Disney again, to contact me. And to my surprise, he actually did the next time he was in town.

And he did it again.

And again.

It went on for about a year before he asked to make it official between us. I was in shock, but I couldn't say no. I had fallen in love with my new Disney friend, so I gave it a shot. It was hard at first, with him always away filming or in Boston, but we made it work.

I found myself flying a few times to see him and he would fly down to see me when he could. We kept everything strictly out of social media, both for his sanity and my safety.

After almost two years, we were sitting down at his kitchen table when we decided that I would move in with him. He said he'd take care of me, that I wouldn't have to work anymore, but I enjoyed my line of work. Yes, I had hard days, and sometimes came home complaining, but doesn't everyone? I told him I'd continue working if I moved in with him, and he was fine with it.

He was actually fine with a lot of things. And so understanding. He was always there when I was dealing with my anxiety, when I was home sick and needed to visit my family, or even when I just needed to be near him. Not in an affectionate way, but just being in the same room as him made some of those hard days better.

Whenever he was away filming, he always made a point to call or FaceTime me once a day (he said he tried to because he loves me; I think it's because I always had Dodger pictures ready to send, or to have on screen for him).

When Chris finished his most reason film, he promised a short vacation. I was over the moon when I found out we were going to Disney World.

It was a relaxing trip, and something that we both needed. We visited all of the parks, rode all of our favorite rides, and even got to enjoy the flower festival at EPCOT (he said he made the plans for exactly that reason because he remembered it was my favorite festival). It was such a magical few days but of course, all good things must come to an end.

The last night of our trip, we were standing at the small bridge in the Italy Pavilion. I was standing against the railing, with Chris right behind me. His arms were wrapped around my stomach, while mine were placed over his. EPCOT had just started their nightly show, but all I could think was how truly happy I was at that moment in my life.

I leaned back a little more into Chris, and squeezed his hands a little tighter.

"Everything okay, baby?" he asked as he kissed just above my right ear.

I turned my head to look up at him and smiled. "Everything is perfect, my love."

"Good," he said, as he leaned down to give me a slow and sweet kiss.

I turned back to watch the fireworks when Chris started whispering into my ear. "You know how much I love you, baby, right?"

"Almost as much as you love Dodger," he chuckled at my response. "Baby..Dodger may be the moon that brought light to a dark time in my life, but you are my world and sun. You…You are my everything. You've allowed me to be me, and been very accepting of my lifestyle. You have never questioned any choices I've made, and you've been with me every step of the way for these past few years."

I turned my body to look at him. My hands running up and down his arms, as his hands laid on my waist, and my eyes catching those beautiful, ocean blue eyes.

"I do all that because I love you, Chris. You know that," I said before I leaned up to kiss his cheek, his nose, and then his lips. I lingered for a second longer, before I pulled back to look at the man in front of me.

"And I want everyone to know how much I love you, baby."

I was a little confused, as we've done anything and everything to keep our relationship to ourselves and family. But everything soon clicked when he took a step back and knelt onto one knee. He had reached into his pocket to retrieve a small, red box.

When he opened it, my eyes flew from the ring to his face. He was starting to look a little blurry, but that might have been due to the tears that were starting to run down my face.

"I'm willing to take on anything life throws at me, as long as you are by my side. Y/N..will you do me the honors of marrying me?"

I couldn't get a word out, but I was soon nodding my head, getting down to his level, placing my hands on either side of his face, and kissing him.

"Yes," I was finally able to say and the few bystanders around us started to cheer. There was a Disney photographer capturing the entire moment, and I was elated to see the pictures later on.

But at that moment, after he had slipped the ring on my finger and kissed me under the fireworks, nothing else mattered.

Because I was finally getting my happily ever after.

[theheraldsrest]

"Companions reacting to Inquisitor jumping off the balcony at Skyhold"

(Also, Cabot is dipstick)

-LordLex

Cullen

-“MaKER NO, INQUISITOR!”

-He only noticed after the soldiers wouldn’t stop staring at something

-This is the same person who lead an attack against Corypheus, jumping off a balcony for shits and giggles

-You’ve never had anyone look at you with such parental disappointment

-If romanced, makes you promise not to do that again. And again. And again. And again. And ag-

Josephine

-“What, in your right mind, told you that that was a good idea?! Jumping off the balcony! You could have killed yourself! Not only that, you nearly gave the people in the garden a heart attack!”

-Very long rant

-By the end of it, you should feel bad (Course, that doesn’t stop you from doing it, just not when Josephine is around)

-Word does get back to her and you decide that hiding is the best option

-If romanced, people are still, to this day, talking about how Josephine Montilyet was hitting the inquisitor with a broom

Leliana

-“Just a few questions. One, why? Two, how? I’ve seen you trip on boxes and get bruises, yet falling from that height, you’re barely even winded. I think you need to teach that trick to some of our spies.”

-One of the mysteries in life that Leliana can’t solve

-Was wondering why she would hear you speaking to Dorian at one point and then in a second hear a loud thump and “Hello Solas!”

-Does get a small chuckle out of her

Vivienne

-She looks from the balcony, to you, to the ground below your feet before saying “You’re squishing the petunias, dear.”

-Makes it seem that she doesn’t care

-Doesn’t want to admit that she has done the same thing before

-Refuses to say that she did have a heart attack when she had seen you up there

Varric

-*Wheezing* “For fucks sake”

-Brief flashbacks of a certain friend who would HAS done the exact same thing

-After finding out that you are not hurt from that, Sera, Bull, and Varric all start discussing how high you could actually fall from without getting hurt

-’What a horrible idea, definitely shouldn’t do this, you could get seriously injured’ he says with a smile on his face as they look up at the tallest tree you could find in the Frostback Basin

Cole

-”Wait, you shouldn’t-! Oh, you’re ok? How?”

-He doesn’t understand anything. Why did you do that? How did you survive? How are you not even injured?

-Tries it as well, to some people’s horror

-After a quick talking to from dad Varric, he stops doing it

Solas

-”...” Completely ignores it

-Who says he’s not already used to this shit from you jumping off the balcony in the library?

-Doesn’t stop him from listening to make sure that you are safe

-He might be the reason why you’re safe

-If romanced, no matter when you do it, no matter what time of day, when you land he's standing there asking if you're ok. You tell him your fine everytime but he just wants to make sure

Cassandra

-”Do you have a death wish?!”

-Safe to say, Cassandra was not prepared to find you next to her in the short span of time it took you to run up the stairs and landed with a thump

-Left a good lump on your head for being an idiot

-Doesn’t help that she also spotted you jumping from your balcony (“I’m the Inquisitor, damn it! Don’t lock my own windows!”)

-If romanced, acts like a child and refuses to do anything with you until you promise not to do it again

The Iron Bull

-”Holy shit! Nice landing, boss!”

-Rather impressed with the fall

-Krem has to stop him before he tries it

-Eventually does it but now the Inquisitor’s choking on their laughter and they have to find someone to pry Bull’s horns out of the ground

-If romanced, whenever you spot him in the garden and call out to him, he'll drop whatever he's doing and hold his arms out to catch you, which is a better landing than landing on the hard stone

Dorian

-”Vashanta Kaffas! When it’s a few feet off the ground I’m fine with it! This?! No!” 

-He usually thinks it's pretty funny when you jump down from the balcony in the library, but this is a little too much

-It’s a little terrifying to him that no one outside batted an eye at you falling from there and landing next to Mother Giselle only to strike up conversation with her

-’Course, no one batted an eye when the magister started yelling at you, either, so there’s that

-If romanced, you try jumping again but as you fall your vision blacks out and you're suddenly back in your room. Questioning Dorian, he tells you he has no idea what you're talking about, but also says don't try it again

Sera

-”What the fucking hell was that?!”

-You’re surprised to see her berate you for doing that, but then you realize that she’s mad because you didn’t tell her and she wanted to try

-Is cackling the entire time and does the thing where someone approaches it but then backs away, only to come back to it

-When she finally does it, you find she landed in the bushes, laughing and saying “Let’s do that again!”

-If romanced, your window turns into her escape from your room if anyone comes in there, whether it be you two were having some alone time or she needs a quick way out after pulling a prank

Blackwall

- "Maker’s balls"

-If you look closely enough, you can see all life has left his eyes and is replaced with pure terror

-Calmly approaches you, puts hand on your shoulder and says for you to never do that again

-Disappointed parent noises when he sees you do it again

-If romanced, it takes a bit to convince him, but eventually agrees to jump down once. Safe to say, he landed safely but hard, saying 'he's too old for this shit'

Trying to get back into the flow of things, what with both of us working and college. Cabot should be dropping his own post next. Edited to add in romanced companions

[skellebonez]

Stop Lying To Me (Monkie Kid Cursed AU fanfic)

I was super inspired by @winterpower98 's Cursed AU and the fanart @kitkat1003 did for it soooo... I kinda wrote my own interpretation of this revelatory scene in an anon and now I am rewriting it here as a fic. I'm going off all the info in the masterpost and the hints in tags combined with my own flair so I'm probably off in places, but hey I had fun writing it and I hope you all have fun reading it and that's what counts! (also I have never posted fanfic to Tumblr before so if the formatting is off I apologize.)

Warnings: mild but vague depictions of some nasty injuries. And angst.

EDIT: I forgot to add the Read More! I fixed that!

------------

"You LIED to us."

Macaque looked up, eyes wide at the amount of venom that should not have been held in that voice. "Kid I-"

"You LIED TO US!" MK yelled, words tapering off with a disbelieving laugh as his tail swiped the air violently behind him. "You lied to Monkey King, to- to ME! You used me! Again! ... you used me again..."

Oh. He didn't realize his chest could hurt as much as it did when he heard that. That second again, soft but somehow like breaking porcelain against a hard surface. Macaque didn't realize he could hurt like that. He watched as MK slid down to sit on the ground, turning away from him to check on the still resting Monkey King. "Kid..."

"Was this your plan the whole time?" MK refused to turn, busying himself with checking on his mentor's injuries, injuries he was now fully aware were caused by his own claws thanks to Macaque's confession. "Pull a harmless 'prank', come up with an excuse to get us all away from everyone, pretend to start coming around, make me think you actually liked me this time?" He turned, teeth bared in a half smile half grimace. "Wait for me to start losing control so I could do the dirty work of getting revenge against Sun Wukong for you? What did you tell me last time? 'You are the weapon'? Is this what you wanted? A weapon!?"

There it was again, that pain in his chest. Macaque looked away, unable to keep eye contact with the kid. Not when he could see the shimmer of moisture starting at the corner of his eyes. Heaven, he was going soft! When had he started going soft? "It... I wanted..." Why were the words so hard now? Words were never hard before, he could let them flow like sweet honey at any time he pleased but now they stuck on his tongue like tar. "... yes."

A confirmation. The silence between them was thick, and from the edge of his vision he could see the tears as they finally started to roll down MK's face. "I thought you could change, Macaque."

"I am changing!" Macaque insisted, turning back to look at the younger with what he hoped with a gentle smile. "Yes, I had a plan originally, but it's changed! I don't want that anymore!" He took a step forward, not missing the flinch back and the way the kid curled into himself. When MK said nothing he took another step forward, slower this time, and another. "I'm going to stop this, WE are going to stop this, you won't be a weap-"

"Stop lying to me!" He had messed up. Gotten too close, too fast, pushed too far. When he reached for MK the kid swiped instinctively and his claws made contact, just barely, slicing into the side of Macaque's neck as he made to dodge just a bit too late in shock. Everything froze for a moment.

"I..." MK's eyes widened in horror as he looked at Mac's neck, then his hand. "No, I. I didn't. I didn't mean to. To hurt. I." His eyes flooded more red and as he looked to Macaque his breathing grew faster. He let out a sob. Then a yell. Then a scream.

"Shit!" Macaque took a quick few steps backward before stopping and going forward again, holding his hands up in front of him. "MK, MK listen to me please. You have to calm down ok? You just recovered from the last time, your body cannot handle another transformation without you being hurt!"

A step forward, a step back, scream growing strained and more red but this time from the lengthening claws digging into MK's own arms. The kid was trying to fight it, he could tell, but Macaque had messed up too much. He knew about the plan, that he had hurt Wukong, that he had been manipulated. He didn't know everything but he knew enough. And Mac knew MK wouldn't be able to stop it, even as tempered by exhaustion as it was.

So he did the only thing he could think of that wouldn't hurt him. He leapt forward and held MK. Knelt on the ground and wrapped the kid in his arms as tight as he could. The kid fought harder, both at the transformation and at the hold, grabbing Macaque's arms to pull them away and slicing his sleeves to ribbons and grabbing at his back when he failed.

Macaque did not let go. Not when those claws ripped through his clothes and drew more and more blood, not when MK smashed his forehead into his mouth and split his lip, not when the kid twisted and grabbed his arm and widened his own mouth and BIT, hard and furious and tearing into his bicep down to the bone. Not when the power radiating off the kid scared him more than he would ever admit. Macaque did not let go. 

"I'm not lying kid," he whispered. "Not anymore."

Eventually, too long for comfort, MK stopped fighting. It was like a switch was flipped. One second he was fighting and then next he just. Stopped. Had he not been breathing so hard Macaque would have sworn he has simply ceased entirely. 

They stayed like that for a moment, Macaque getting his own unsteady breathing under control before he gently maneuvered the kid to pick him up. He walked them back to where Wukong was fitfully resting, no doubt disturbed by the recent events, ignoring how his back was rapidly growing warm (but somehow cold) and wet and how one arm shook with effort it should not have needed. "You're gonna be ok Kid. You're gonna be ok. I promise."

"N.." So he wasn't completely drained. Yet. "No more... lying...?"

"Yeah. Yeah, no lying," Macaque said as he laid MK down, wincing as he turned in such a way that the worst of his injuries would be hidden away, if the kid was aware enough to see them that is. "Not about this, not anymore. I promise. Get some rest kid, you're gonna need it."

MK let out a halfhearted chuckle, nodding his head. "K. I... I won't. Give up on you yet." And with that he finally passed out.

Mac sat and watched, afraid to move lest the kid just suddenly transform. But he didn't. He rested and Macaque knew he had a lot to fix. He had gotten attached. Damn it all but he got attached to the kid.

That was the last thought he had as his body finally gave out, sending him sideways into the dirt. He thought he heard a yell, a voice more familiar to him than MK's, angry and scared sounding. Why was it scared? He was the Six Eared Macaque. He would be fine, he always was.

Even if that was potentially another lie.

[dreamii-yume]

Yume-sama which guys are the best at eatin' p*ssy?

Yume’s back! BABIES _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): Have something hornii because I’m sAltY~ (´；ω；`)

Ace seems to be oddly good at this for the whatever nasty reasons he has. I like to imagine that he’ll put on a face that looks like he’s about to fuck you up so bad just to get you on edge but is actually really careful and considerate when doing so. Of course, he won’t be honest with his feelings and when you slowly realized that he’s actually being gentle for your sake, that’s when he’ll attack tsun-tsun defense mechanism, i guess? His tongue will work extra hard to force another orgasm out of you. Add some insults in the middle of the whole session and boom, it’s a spicy Ace content right there!

I think we already established why Cater would be a master when it comes to eating out pussy, Darlings. See this post for more information but goddamn does our Heartslabyul senpai know what he’s doing. Maybe he’ll take a little pic after he’s done messing you up? Look at how soaked the sheets are~!

Yes. Daddy Trey would eat that pussy and enjoy it, similarly to how you would treat his sweets with an overwhelmingly amount of passion. He may have played that nice guy persona, but DON’T BE FOOLED, Darlings. He’s a fucking hornii monster on the inside and he’s hungry for that pussy, alright? He always had been, this man is just both blessed and cursed with extreme amounts of patience. He ain’t a nice senpai at all though, once he got you where he wants you, just don’t expect him to stop anytime soon.

Chenya. Yes, I’m adding him since we have two RSA students now and I want to give them love too. He’ll absolutely do it even there’s a lot of people around, right under a fucking clothed table for example. He’ll take advantage of his invisibility magic and spread your legs during an unbirthday party, the roughness of his tongue tingles your insides. You’ll try to keep your voice down, sure, but little did you know, it’s Chenya’s goal to have everyone’s eyes on you as he eats you out, destroying their hopes and dreams of ever trying it out on you. your Heartslabyul friends will be in utter chaos for sure, just be ready

The feeling of Leona’s textured tongue scraping against your clit is just aaaaahhh...You know those shivers of pleasures you get down your spine, you will FEEL that shit. Leona wouldn’t even have to seriously do anything, simple licks of his tongue is just doing the work for him. Still, it’s enough for electricity to go through your whole body and your head is pounds from the amount of orgasm he brought upon you. You’ll eventually find your hips moving on its own, wanting to feel more than his tongue.

With a lick of his lips, Ruggie is ready to indulge, thank you for the food~! If we’re talking about sexually hungry and thirsty twst bois here, than we cannot not talk about Ruggie-senpai here. Don’t underestimate him, he’s surprisingly good with using his mouth just as much as using his fingers, I mean what can he say? He grew up a glutton after all.

Now, if we’re conducting a contest on who can eat out Darling’s pussy better, how about we add a tag team in here!? No other pair has better teamwork than our beloved Leech Brothers! Their tongues are long and hugee (OwO) One can restrict your movements and even spread your folds for his brother to freely eat you out until you build up into such a nauseating orgasm. They can be each other’s emotional support too! If Floyd becomes a bit too unhinged, Jade can use his big bro powers and keep him in his best behavior. it’s not fun if you broke that early on in the game after all. This can happen the other way around too, by the way, albeit rarely. Just letting you Darlings know. geez, now i wonder how Darling is gonna cope up if both of them loses control...

Jamil is...yes, just, yes. Find yourself a man who’s both talented in getting you dicked down for the night and eat you out like it’s the best meal he ever had. He takes your feelings into consideration, he knows your sensitive parts even if you don’t tell him. He’s very observant of your reactions and learns very quick, he’ll find your special part no matter what.

Rook cares for The Art of Eating A Pussy™ He loves the way your face would contort in different emotions depending on the place his tongue is exploring inside your dripping cunt. He treats you like a sacred treasure, savoring your reactions like it would be the last time he’ll see them in which we all know it wouldn’t be He’ll take pictures to preserve the beauty in your emotions as he believes that no two expressions are the same, he comes for the love hidden deep inside. You don’t know how he does it but for some reason, orgasms done by Rook always feels so damn timeless, like euphoria coming to you all in one place.

And then we go to our old man, Lilia! dont call him that This man is aggressive, Darlings. You think those fangs are just for show? Wouldn’t say the same thing once you feel them digging on your flesh as he begins to suck that sensitive pussy, huh? When he feels like it, he can’t be stopped! Heck, he’ll fucking eat you out even during your p e r i o d, Baby. Just watch him do it, he’s dead serious! He’ll tease you a lot and dirty talk is just his thing, you know? With how seductive he stare at you from between your legs, your juices dripping down his jaw.

Haha, so here’s the story! Yume was gone for like a week to finish a sinfic! ( ＾∀＾) The good news is that she finished it! Yay~! ٩( ᐛ )و The bad news? Her laptop broke down suddenly, she doesn’t know why or what to do and now, she can’t proof-read and edit properly. (°▽°) (im anxious to post a fic that’s not proof-read, i refuse)

I’ll see if I can do anything about this, just bear with me, Darlings! Have little crumbs as of now! (＞人＜;)

...I’m lowkey having a mental breakdown due to this stupid laptop suddenly closing down on me. I mean, I have online class to take! (c" ತ,_ತ) The power button’s unresponsive and it’s not charging, I’m getting this checked out tomorrow (*´ー｀*)

(I’m posting on my phone again which means~! pretty colors~!!! ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ )

[woogurl]

DISCLAIMER: I DO WOOSAN ANALYSIS, PLEASE SKIP IF U DON’T LIKE THIS SORT OF STUFF. I’M BY NO MEANS A PROFESSIONAL JUST SHARING MY OPINIONS. :)

so, i decided to make a san jealousy post because before i said i don’t think woo’s a jealous man, but now i think otherwise. however, unlike san woo is a lot more subtle(and at times he’s just outright brash with his jealousy) while san is a lot more transparent in general. so it’s easier to make a post about him. but i will include bonus moments or notable moments of woo’s jealousy. not only that, but we get less moments of woo being clearly jealous because san doesn’t give him much opportunity. ‘cause san is constantly giving him the attention he wants and is trying to woo him...

get it?

no? oke

anyway, i would like to preface this by saying jealous is not a bad emotion. in fact it’s not an emotion. it’s a feeling that every human experiences. unlike emotions a feeling is where you have a decent enough time to think about how to react to something. jealousy is often a feeling of insecurity. this may shock u but this includes ur idols. ‘cause u know they’re not robots. tho it’s understandable to get confused because they’re all so dreamy. but not the point. 

however, jealousy isn’t technically a good thing either and it can also derive from an unhealthy characteristic or trait of being possessive and territorial. to even someone’s detriment. especially if it makes the other party feel smothered, uncomfortable or constricted.  

now. the important question you’re wondering is whether i think san is possessive and territorial. 

well, yes, i do think he is a bit. but not to an unhealthy degree if u ask me. he isn’t overly dominating. such as making everyone else feel uncomfortable because he’s very careful not to impose himself on others. in fact i’d say san is mostly dominant/territorial and jealous because he’s insecure AND possessive.

but that’s enough talking let’s talk about moments of jealousy from san.

let’s start with some iconic jealousy moments that immediately come to mind when we’re talking about woosan. 

this moment where woo kissed seonghwa. as soon as san realized what was happening his body became stiff and awkward. just look at his face in the first ss. lmfao. he instantly became jealous and walked away and said. “i can’t watch this”. it was pretty obvious and his body and face also had a lot of tension which also shows displeasure. 

this moment where he became absolutely shocked that woo caressed seonghwa’s face. please note how he was looking at wooyoung as if he couldn’t believe that he would do something like that to him. san’s face instantly changes from smiling to just pure jealousy in response to woo’s actions.

let’s talk about subtle jealousy, i mentioned this moment in an interview analysis. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/620788572454371328/hey-i-wanted-to-make-a-small-mini-woosan for reference. 

as i pointed out before. san’s jealousy starts the second wooyoung places his hands on yunho. while the moments before show how easily triggered and jealous san can get. i feel like this interview clearly shows san’s possessive side. his jealousy consumes him to the point where he simply cannot focus at all during the end of the interview. it’s also interesting to see san genuinely seeing his members as a threat in this manner. 

let’s talk about another subtle jealous moment, however it’s also very open and aggressive body language. and i’m still surprised san reacted this way. but interesting moment that’s not often talked about. a friend sent this to me in dm a while ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26rscSxwIEU @ 5:25.

san was initially just minding his own business until he noticed woo talking to someone named tag. i was told that this was woo’s friend (ofc who isn’t woo’s friend at this point). as soon as san spotted them he started walking towards them. which surprised me because san is an introvert, he wouldn’t normally react like this in any situation but i def felt like san reacted more aggressively in this atmosphere because he’s aware isac is often a place where idols “meet" cough cough if u get what i mean.

as soon as san approached them he smacked woo hard and i mean hard af on the back. like damn. lol. something u should take note of is a persons status in a group is often revealed through body language. if a person uses dominant indirect/unconscious body language they’re displaying an indirect form of aggression. 

not only that but san adds himself into the conversation. not only that but he touches/tousles woo’s hair which is a pretty affectionate gesture. tag is close to woo but san keeps invading that small space between them and his body and feet are pointed towards woo. you can see tag talking to hj from a decent distance but san is literally taking up that small personal space between woo and tag. he touches woo’s side and continues to try and get closer. u can also see that woo is fidgety avoiding eye contact while san’s eyes and gaze are directly on woo and follows his every move. it’s lowkey scary how san’s eyes are scanning woo. and as soon as woo has to leave the whole convo between them ends abruptly. lol.

next thing i wanna talk about is neck touches. i’ve already made an analysis about this. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/626125803005116416/woosan-neck-touches-this-is-probably-one-of-the?is_related_post=1. but there’s been many more moments since then. and my initial opinion has only solidified since then. 

now i mentioned before that san doesn’t touch the other members neck as often as he touches woo’s neck. and definitely not as often as i thought he did. i mentioned before that does this either out of habit, to comfort or to assert dominance(it could even be all of them depending on the situation). and because san has shown signs of being possessive and territorial. i wouldn’t be surprised if the later was true. here are some recent ex.

san was pretty protective of woo during the surprise youtube vlive. his hands just couldn’t keep off him. lol. and woo as always is extremely comfortable with san’s skinship. not only that but i also think it genuinely comforts him when san does it.

this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAMfdeQ4DcM, was quite interesting. to me it was one of the most interesting recent interactions from them. yet people barely talk about it. lmfao. well it’s understandable ‘cause their interactions were def edited/cut but a lot of moments were cute but here. san was being more possessive and territorial than normal with woo. so much so that the staff literally had to move him. LOL. @4:30 san was lowkey jealous that woo chose yeosang(even tho san was first to volunteer himself) as his guard and not him. but it doesn’t matter because san still ended up next to him. lol. however after some time they moved him and i’m not entirely sure why. i won’t really go into depth about this moment because this post is meant to analyze san’s jealousy as an outcome of possessiveness/protectiveness. 

i would like to highlight again that i do not think san is possessive and territorial in a way that’s imposing. or in a way where he’s trying to dominate a conversation or propose himself as the ‘leader’. i think he’s this way because he’s naturally a caretaker. which is why he seems to want to protect those he genuinely cares about and are possessive over them.

next i wanna discuss this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XslMoD5h3M&list=WL&index=12&t=2s. this video is one where san was particularly touchy and possessive with woo. attempting to physically draw woo into him as much as possible. 

he starts touching woo @1:54. then, @2:15-2:33. and there’s a moment at 2:33 in particular that interest me.

san’s still touching woo, and if you ask me his touches with woo are a bit intimate. and on the side you see seonghwa’s hand on touch san’s waist. and it’s either because 1. he can’t see or 2. he’s warning san of something. @2:40 you can see it more clearly. 

as you can see, seonghwa can’t(omg, joke from gmm don’t mind me). anyway, seonghwa’s kind of leaning forward. but this could also be because he wants to be subtle with his warning to san. you see the thing about subtle moments are.....they’re subtle moments. lol. they’re supposed to be subtle. and when they’re this subtle it’s easy for people to go. ‘oh, you’re overreacting, he’s just looking over’. so for now, i’m gonna say he’s just trying to look over.  

now, i know people wanted me to put the part where san’s hands glide over woo’s back but this isn’t the sexual tension analysis. so anyway san’s hand is placed on woo’s neck @3:00-3:17 until he has to clap. lol. 

san’s back to touching woo @3:35, but seonghwa can’t see again, because san’s pretty pressed up against woo and he’s a little in front of seonghwa and seonghwa keeps trying to pull san back. but at this point what is he trying to see? lol. and if you watch carefully, immediately after hwa touches san’s arm. he moves it. so i’ll leave that up to u guys to interpret it as you wish. there’s a couple of more moments after that where seonghwa attempts to warn or pull san back. and i’m pretty sure it’s because san was being touchy. i’m gonna guess it’s because he really liked woo’s fit that day. 

i mean just look at the way he was looking at him at 3:50. his hands were firmly place on his neck and he was staring at him while licking his lips. 

now let’s talk about how my man san is literally draped over woo at this point @4:46. i wanna mention the way san’s no longer literally holding woo’s neck anymore(which is a pretty possessive gesture because the neck is a pretty intimate are and san feels like he owns woo’s neck or something). now he’s pressed even closer to woo and his arm is wrapped around his him. something san has always done even in predebut is wrap his arms around woo’s shoulder and to me that’s pretty evident body language that he wants to be physically closer to woo by drawing him into him and wants to get rid of space between them which is pretty evident esp in this ss. just look at woosan compared to everyone else. so the reason i added this moment is because it shows how possessive and touchy san to be kind of like displaying ‘he’s mine’ or ‘we’re super close, see?’ and everyone else is just minding their own business while hwa is probably inwardly freaking out. lmfao. 

here’s a similar moment/situation. https://www.vlive.tv/post/0-18364450. the vlive on idol radio with woosan as host. 

we start off the video with san holding woo’s neck. can i just reiterate how intimate this gesture is. also how san often does this to woo and rarely does it with others? just imagine your partner holding your neck like this. it’s a pretty intimate and possessive gesture. it’s not mentioned often but woo’s neck is pretty sensitive and he viscerally reacts when it’s touched by others intentionally intimately. lol. but anyway san holds woo’s neck for quite sometime and their body language is once again so different from everyone elses.

i also wanna mention that someone said the interview with oneus and mostly onf was awkward in my dm. esp the tension between wooyoung and the boy in the green and yellow sweater. i’m sorry i don’t know his name. xD i would have to watch again. ‘cause i’m not sure if there was tension but i do know woo was quite bold in starting their amicus ad aras thing. anyway the clip was relatively short so not much to be said.

next this vlive. https://www.vlive.tv/post/1-18386548. san was pretty hyper here. lmfao. excited from the start he was already clinging to woo. 

but we’re here to pinpoint possessive/jealous san. lol. he starts holding on to woo around 21:45-22:57. he holds on for quite a while. lol. 

he let’s wooyoung’s neck breath for a while before it’s yeosang comes in @23:07 and he grabs it again. lol. and at 23:38 as woo was gonna blow in yeosang’s ear san comes down to peck woo’s head and grabs his shoulders with both hands. lol. 

and of course he continues holding woo and gets closer to him and he checks to see if the staff is looking at him weirdly. lol. 

he holds on to him a while longer before yeosang finally get up. i would also like to say san was following woo around for a bit previously before this happened. lol. now as woo gets up the camera kind of goes somewhere else and jongho’s kind of in the way(it’s oke, we love to see his handsome face). so i couldn’t really see exactly what happened but @25:15 woo clings on to hwa and san’s like, ‘oh...alright’ lmfao. i also wanna mention woo tried to peak under hwa’s shirt. at this point we can say he’s not only an ass man but a tummy/abs man oke. anyway that’s it in conclusion san loves to touch and hold on to woo in any way possible. 

i also wanna mention the moments where san wraps his arms around woo’s waist, because i also think this is possessive/territorial body language. i’ve made a whole comp of this because san does it that often. 

THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG. so i wanna bring up a few of the online fansign moments. it difficult to interpret these because 1. they’re short clips without much context and 2. i don’t understand what’s being said but i’m gonna analyze this from body language alone.

so something we know about san is he often initiates contact first and i’ll be making an analysis talking about this soon. but anyway in a lot of these moments san is just in wooyoung’s space, but woo gets in san’s too and these moments make me realize woo can be just as possessive and territorial as san. because they crave for each others attention. (you can find most of these moments on woosan insta’s acc’s like kn nk, yowoosan, etc.)

here woo is talking to a fan but san suddenly pops out of nowhere and waves his hand as if he’s waving the fan away. i’m not sure what else this could have meant. i don’t think he was waving at the staff(who i think are in front of them) to leave ‘cause he was looking at the camera. he then left and came back and wrapped his arm around woo and left again and then came back and said something to woo, but woo looked annoyed. possibly bc he was trying to interact with the fan and san kept invading his space. to me it looked like san was being possessive, craving woo’s attention esp bc woo’s interest and attention was on the fan at that time.

i’m not gonna post all of the moments bc this post is already too long, but i think the fansigns showed how they both want each others attention and how possessive they can be. san’s jealousy appears more often because he’s just generally more transparent than woo. but anyway i’m tired, thas it. 

i’m gonna just do a separate post for woo, ‘cause it’s just too long. xD

[all1e23]

Chocolate Dipped

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Steve has finally had enough of these two idiots. 

Warnings:  Angsty stuff. 

A/N:   I am feeling better! Just in time to make you guys cry for Christmas. This is in Steve’s POV at the start. I think I grabbed everyon’s tags but I was pretty sick this week. If I forgot to add you please shoot me an ask and I’ll correct it today. Also, half edited. I got lazy. lol If you like it come sing me a song, write me a story or scream at me!  This is the sixth part of my series Sugary Sweet. Make sure you catch up!

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!***

“You goin’ home tonight, buck?” 

Steve hung around the doorway to Bucky’s office, hovering like a worried parent. The small room was lived in. Two weeks have passed since they attended Stark’s gala, and Bucky made it a point to work himself to death every single day since. There were cartons upon cartons of takeout, guest pillows from his penthouse on the leather couch that sat under the large windows on the south wall, and Steve caught Bucky wearing the same white button-up three days in a row. 

Bucky was avoiding something, and Steve had a decent idea of what that ‘something’ was. 

“Hm?” Bucky mumbled, barely looking up from his computer as he did. “Uh, no. Not tonight. I want to get this done for the Danvers account.” 

Steve sighed as he spun his keys around his fingers, debating how far he could push this before he drove Bucky away. 

“We have people who do that now, Buck. Go home and get some sleep. Wash your hair.” 

To Steve’s delight, Bucky looked up, humor lighting up his eyes and smile curling up the corners of his mouth. 

“You sayin’ I look bad, Stevie?” 

Steve forced through his concern long enough to grin. 

“I’m saying you haven’t been home since you broke up with Y/n. Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Bucky’s smile fell the moment Steve said her name, and his eyes fell back on his computer. He wasn’t going to talk about Y/n or their arrangement. There was nothing to say. It was never a real relationship as much as Bucky wanted it to be, so there was no reason to treat it as such. 

“I don’t have anything to say about it. There was no break-up. It was a temporary situation, and it’s passed. Let’s all move on with our lives.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Goodnight, Steven.”

The quiet tug of the door and the hitch of the latch echoes in Bucky’s empty office, leaving him alone in the darkened building. He knew Steve was trying to help, but Steve wasn’t. Bucky didn’t need to be babysat. He needed to go back to that coffee shop, pay for your coffee, and walk away before he let his heart fall yours. Yeah, he knew sulking in his office wasn’t going to fix anything, but he couldn’t face going home. Your toothbrush was still hanging next to his, that drawer in his dresser was full of your clothes, and there was the picture of the two of you resting on the nightstand. Taking down the pictures in his office was bad enough; at least here, the sheets didn’t smell like you.

It has been weeks when the hell was he going to get over you?

Bucky really hoped it would be soon. 

The bar was packed. No stool was empty, and the floor was full of kids half his age waiting for what was probably their first beer. Steve groaned. Dealing with grumpy Bucky and now this was completely unfair. The loud cheering made Steve wince as he pushed towards the middle of the crowd, it was hard to see through the crowd of twenty-year-olds, and he has never felt quite as old as he did at that moment. 

When did he become this grumpy old man? He blamed Bucky. 

Steve caught his wife’s whistle and grinned when he spotted her in one of those half booths that no one actually enjoys sitting at. 

“How is he?” 

Steve sighed and placed a kiss on her cheek as he squeezed into the seat next to her. That was a loaded question. He gripped his wife’s legs and pulled them over his lap, tucking her under his arm. Steve was going to make the most of the dollhouse-sized booth. 

“He’s… a mess. I know he misses her, but he won’t talk about it. I’m not sure what happened, but I don’t think it was a clean break like he’s making it sound.” 

“Do you think she left him?” 

He shook his head.  

No, Steve knew Bucky well enough to know guilt when he saw it. 

“I think Bucky didn’t speak up when he should have is what I think, and maybe she got tired of waiting to be more than a game.” 

Steve took a sip of Sharon’s red wine and made a face. She grinned and ran her fingers through his bread, scratching gently until he hummed softly and leaned into her touch.

“Well, I think,” Sharon whispered, watching the sleepy smile tug at Steve’s lips. “We are stuck sitting at the bar. The dining room is full of what appears to be teenagers. Somehow when we weren't looking, we became the oldest people in the room. It's a tiny booth or share a table with strangers.” 

“That’s alright. We can stay right here.” Steve nudged her chin up with two fingers and smiled. “I like being stuck with you.” 

“You think that sweet talk is going to get you somewhere?” 

“Pretty confident. Bucky taught me all I know."  

Steve grinned and pecked her lips.

A loud voice interrupted Steve’s train of thought and he couldn't help but listen in. 

“Look, if fancy man bun can’t see how awesome you are, then you don’t need to waste your time on him.” Steve tried to fight his smile. Whoever that was, he wouldn’t mind sharing a table with them.

“But… I think I love him.”

Steve froze when he heard your voice, and he subtly peeked over his shoulder to find you sitting at a table nearby. You weren’t alone. There was a blond guy he didn’t know, his arm was around your redheaded friend that scared the life out of him sometimes, Nat he was pretty sure, and another red-haired woman he didn’t know. He turned back around before you caught him spying, and he tried to listen over the boisterous shouts and loud, obnoxious music.

This was getting ridiculous. He was getting too old to go to places like this.

“And that sucks,” The guy continued."He’s shit for dragging you along because he knew how you felt. Everyone knew. I’m not saying marry Johnny Lightning--”

You were talking about Bucky.

“Storm.”

“Storm. Whatever. I’m not saying marry him, but it will help take your mind off the asshole who broke your heart.”

“First of all, I only know his name. I don’t have his number because I don’t want to go out with him, Clint. I don’t want anyone else. Can we just stop talking about this, please? It’s bad enough you drug me out of my nice warm bed and made come here. Please stop talking about Bucky.”

“I wasn’t going to let you hide in bed for the rest of your life,” The woman -- Nat, said with a hint of venom in her voice. “I wish you would have talked to him like I told you to. Something is off about this whole thing.”

“I didn’t have time! Things were over before I realized they were.”

“You could go talk to him now?”

“What’s the point? He’s obviously done with whatever we were. I haven’t heard from him in days.”

Bucky was the one that broke up with you? Steve hadn’t expected that, but perhaps he should have.

Steve fidgeted enough to wiggle his phone out of his pocket, silently quieting Sharon before she could make a fuss and draw your attention. He snapped a picture over his shoulder, even though he shouldn’t. You were staring at rose necklace Bucky gave you in Boston while your friends chatted amongst themselves, your eyes were red and puffy like you had been crying non-stop for days. You looked incredibly lonely for someone sitting in the middle of a crowded bar and surrounded by friends.

He dropped the image into a message and sent it off to Bucky.

“I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

Steve placed a kiss on Sharon’s head and slid out of the booth, smiling at her confusion. He walked straight to your table and stopped next to you, making a point to get his shoes and black dress pants in your line of vision. You looked up, and your fingers slipped off the necklace, your mouth fell open and stuttered incoherently.

“Y/n, I think we should talk.”

-----------------------

Across town, Bucky sat in his office, still sitting at his desk hours after Steve left him only now he was staring at his phone instead of his computer. Bucky hasn’t been able to look away from the damn thing since Steve’s text came in over twenty minutes ago. You looked good. Great. A little sad, maybe, but beautiful. He read Steve’s words one more time, and his heart clenched again.

She doesn’t look like someone who moved on. I think you left a few things out of the story.

So he did leave some things out. It was his right to leave out whatever he wanted to. Steve didn’t need to know why things didn’t work out. It wouldn’t change the outcome.

“Hi.”

Bucky’s fingers shook at the sound of your voice, so much so he dropped his phone back onto his desk. You stood in the doorway to his office, fidgeting and uncomfortable. You were still in that little black dress you were wearing in the photo, so you must have come straight from the bar. Bucky slowly leaned back in his chair, his eyes glued to yours.  

“Hi… what are you doing here? How did you get in?”

You looked guilty, and Bucky had to fight back a grin.

“Steve gave me his ID.”

You held up a little white card as an explanation and gave him that same shy, nervous smile you gave him when he offered to pay for your coffee all those months ago. Steve could never just mind his own damn business. Nosy little punk. 

Bucky should probably thank him for meddling this one time -- depending on how the rest of this night goes.

“Of course, he did.”

You took a few steps in, just enough that you could place the card on Bucky’s desk a keep your distance. Bucky watched your eyes scan his desk for your missing pictures, and he wanted to jump in and tell you they were on the bookshelf behind him now. They were hard to look at it all the time now. He saw relief flood you as you spotted them.

He still didn’t understand why you were here.

“Is everything okay, sweet girl?”

The name just slipped out. Bucky hadn’t meant it to. You weren’t… well, you weren’t anything anymore, and he didn’t have a right to call you pet names, but he couldn’t help it. Bucky wanted to call his sweet girl forever. Would have, too, if only the stars had aligned the way Bucky had wanted.

Bucky watched you as hesitated. You took a step forward and then stopped as if you were trying to decide where to go, towards him or out the door. He saw the conflict in your eyes as you fought with yourself, and then you stood up taller with your shoulders squared, having made your choice. You strode towards Bucky with determination, walking around his desk, and Bucky pushed off from his feet, letting his chair roll back enough to give you the space you needed-- wanted.

He hoped it was what you wanted.

Bucky didn’t move or make a sound. Just held his breath and waited.

You sank down on his lap, straddling his waist as you’ve done during the hundreds of times you’ve visited him in his office. Bucky waited until you settled comfortably, and his hands came up to wrap around you and rest against your backside. Your own find their favorite spot tangled in his hair, and the tears catching in your lashes were caught right away.

It took every ounce of strength he had not to lean in and kiss those tears away.

“You left.” You whimpered. “Just disappeared and stopped talking to me like we were never… something.”

Bucky’s heart twisted into something dark and ugly. He hadn’t thought there was much to say. Things had been off since he came home from Boston, and then that boy, he didn’t think there was anything left after that.

“I thought--” Bucky’s arms tightened around you, fingers pressed into your skin as he forced himself to admit what he was scared of since he first met you -- you didn’t really want him. 

“I thought maybe you liked that kid from the gala. He's closer to your age and… he could be someone who wants the same things you want. I didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with me if you didn’t want-- if this was temporary. I thought that’s what you wanted.”  

“No, that’s not what I want.”

Bucky swiped his thumb under your right eye, wiping away the tears he could no longer stand to see. He didn’t know how to ask if you loved him or how to tell you that he wanted more, but this? He knew this. Bucky’s spent the last eight months asking you want you wanted and doing everything he could to give it to you.

He could do this.

“What do you want, babygirl? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

There was only one thing you wanted.

“I want you to love me,” you choked out in a desperate, hopeless plea. “I want you to love me like I love you. I want you to be in love with me.”

“Oh, baby.”

Bucky cupped the back of your neck and let the other rest on your back, firmly holding you in place on his lap. This was something he should have said months ago.

“I’ve been in love with you for months. Maybe since I bought you that first cup of coffee and you looked at me with those sweet lips and pouty eyes. You’ve had my love, sweet girl.”

You sniffed and took a breath, your bottom lip still trembling as you twisted over his words.

“But-- I, I heard you telling you Sharon you didn’t want a future with me.”

Bucky’s nose crinkled, and his brow furrowed. “What? What are you talkin’ about, baby?”

“In Boston. That night you were drinking at the bar. I came down to… to see you, and you said you didn’t want a family right now and not with me.”

Bucky was smiling, and he could tell by your pout you were about to jump off his lap because of it. He couldn’t help it. This was good. The best news he has heard in weeks. This was all because he was an idiot, and he could fix that. He could stop being an idiot. Bucky took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting the chair lean back all the way, so you fell against his chest, and your feet came off the floor just enough to make you unstable if you tried to get up on your own.

He needed you to stay put a little longer, and if you wanted to leave after he said his peace, he would let you go.

"Did you hear what I said after that?”

“No," you squeaked. “I ran back up to our-- your room.”

“Our room.” He corrected.

"Our room." You amended. "Then you came up and we-- Well, we made-- we..."

Bucky didn't need you to say anymore. He remembered. Bucky absolutely remembered making love to you. He held you against him and carefully explained what really happened that night.

“I did say that, but that wasn’t what I meant. It came out all wrong, and you'll be happy to know Steve and Sam would beat my ass to defend you without a second thought. What I meant and what I explained to them that night was I wanted to wait until you were ready for all that because if I’m going to do all that? Get married and have kids; I only want to do it with you.”

You groaned and thumped your head against his chest. “Why is Nat always right? She said you didn’t mean it. That it was a mistake.”  

Bucky chuckled quietly. His fingers gently rubbed at your scalp, and his lips found your skin, pressing soft kisses to your temple. “Probably because she could see it written on my face. According to Sam, I look like a lovesick idiot every time you’re near me.”

Forcing yourself to lift your head, you met his eyes and whispered,” Bucky, I do love you, and I don’t want that dumb bellhop from Boston or any other guy. You’re all I want, but I’m not ready to get married right now. I know you are, and if you want all that right now-- I don’t know, okay? I graduate in May, and then I want to work and-- and --I don’t think I can--”

Bucky’s thumb settled over your lips, stopping your panic.

“I know, and that’s why I said I wanted to wait. Let you find your footing in a new job and get yourself settled there before we even talk about it. I wanted to tell you all this in Boston. Tell you how much you mean to me. How you’re all, I think about, every damn day and the nights that I’m not with you are like torture.”

Your eyes twinkled with someone Bucky didn’t like, and his cheeks warmed right away.

“So that was the whole picnic thing? And renting out the skywalk?”

Bucky nodded sheepishly.

“I might have chickened out. I was worried you didn’t feel the same, and I wasn’t ready to lose you.”

One thing was certain; you were made for each other. You were both idiots.

“So, you do see a future with me?” You asked, nerves showing through your shaky voice. You needed to be sure. You couldn’t go through all that again. 

“You weren’t just changing the subject with sex every time?”

Bucky barked out a laugh, the chair under you shaking from the force of it. You pursed your lips. He didn’t have to laugh so hard. It was a serious question. Bucky gave your hip an apologetic squeeze and shook his head.

“No, I didn’t mean to do that. It was incredibly sexy to hear you say you only wanted... me. You could have asked me for anything, and you just wanted me. I like that."

“It’s true, though. I don’t want any of that other stuff. You’re the only thing I want, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes darkened, and his hand slipped under the hemline of your dress. “Somethin’ you want… right now?”

Your slender fingers gripped his wrist, and you shook your head. “Nope. What I want right now is to get you home, shower, and maybe sleep till late tomorrow. I haven’t-- I haven’t been sleeping great lately.”

The confession made Bucky remember how terrible he probably looked from his own sleeping habits over the past eighteen days. The last he saw in the bathroom mirror, the dark circles under his eyes, were getting pretty hard to hide. His beard was unkempt and thick and Steve wasn’t wrong about needing to wash his hair. He raised the arm you were still clutching and pressed a kiss to your fingers.

“This how it’s going to work from now on? Just goin’ tell me what to do all the time?”

“Yep. That’s how it works when I’m your girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen dramatically, and Bucky grins.

“I am… I mean, it’s okay I said that, right?”

“Well, you are my girl.”

Bucky can feel your tension deflate, and he really likes the smile on your face.

“Mmm, and you’re my sugar. My sweet fella.”

[thiswasinevitableid]

Have you seen the post going around about the zoom class with one guy and his full streamer setup vs the guy whose just in the middle of the woods? I know you have a prompt list rn but I’m just saying there’s a sternclay fic in there somewhere...

It is! Here you go!

Life is better with order. Or, at the very least, with some attempt at patterns, organization, or consistency. 

Which is why Stern has carefully arranged his desk, his chair, and his equipment in the background. Streaming as a hobby and a side hustle means he has some (okay, a lot) of practice making his digital self look just right. He needs to make a good impression on the first day of the semester.

Unlike some people. 

“Holy shit man, are you in the woods?” Duck, the guy in a “Monongahela National Forest” shirt, grins as he asks this of another student whose screen consists of a forest clearing, a log, and the name “Barclay.”

“Yeah. Hang on, lemme finish getting the phone balanced.”

“Dude, that’s like, way better than my background” this comes from Jake, in front of a poorly rendered half-pipe. 

“Can’t really take credit for it, just where I ended up.” Barclay sits down, and Stern gets his first look at a man so tall he barely fits in the frame, with a short, coppery beard and an honest-to-god man-bun.

Damn west coast schools. 

“How is your battery going to last long enough for class?” Stern leans back in his chair, certain Barclay will have “battery trouble” halfway through as an excuse to cut out early.

Barclay smiles, lifting up a small green and black rectangle, “solar battery. Not everyone needs fancy gadgets for school.” He aims a pointed stare at Sterns set-up. 

“It’s important to have the right equipment.”

“Whatever you say, man.” He lifts a cup of iced coffee into the frame, sipping it through a straw. It’s the picture of relaxation, as if nothing is wrong in the world. As if this is all totally normal. 

Stern wants to reach through the  screen and slap some sense into him. Preferably while he’s shirtless.

He chalks that thought up to not having gotten laid since last December and pulls up his note taking software as Professor Chicane enters the room.

------------------------------------

Private Chat 9/20/20

Duck (he/him): I timed it, we’re already at ten minutes of arguing.

Indrid (he/him): I know Ned enjoys their demonstrating the different modes of rhetoric, but this is a bit extreme.

Duck: To be fair, Joe does seem kinda uptight.

Indrid: Yes, but Barclay should know by now that zeroing in on him during our practice debates only results in this.

Duck: Yeah. Oh shit, are they for real wrapping up you think?

Indrid: We can only hope. Skype me tonight?

Duck: Of course, sugar.

--------------------------------------

What is Joseph’s problem? He’s got a set-up that would make a pro-vlogger jealous, what looks to be a well-lit apartment with some houseplants and the kind of coffee-cups that are weirdly lacking in personality. His clothes are immaculate, his hair slicked back as if he;s in a business meeting rather than an online class in the midst of a chaotic world. So why is he acting like everything is terrible? And why is he always arguing with Barclay, when there are plenty of other people in the class to disagree with?

“Now” Mr. Chicane’s voice booms through the tiny speaker on his phone, “if you all had a chance to read over the instructions, we will begin the first mock debate. Do we have any volunteers?”

He and Joe raise their hands at the same time. Mr. Chicane raises an eyebrow.

“While I appreciate your eagerness, gentlemen, I would like two other volunteers this time.”

That’s fine by him. It’s not like he likes listening to Joseph get all wound up and passionate, making everyone on the call sit up and take notice of him. It’s not as if he enjoys being the center of his focus. 

Nope, not at all.

-----------------------------

Private chat 10/11/20

Jake (he/him): Dudes, did you see who got paired up on the final project?

Aubrey (she/her): Chicane must be getting them back for all the times they’ve hijacked discussions. 

Duck (he/him): Man, for their sake I hope it works out.

Indrid (he/him): This is going to be a disaster.

--------------------------------------

“Are you out of your mind!” Stern is talking before Barclay’s video is fully on. 

“Nope. And you don’t have to yell, my speaker works just fine.”

“You’re outside, for all I know there’s a ton of ambient noise.”

Barclay, phone obviously in his hand as he walks through the trees, groans.

“And don’t try to derail this; how can you possibly suggest I come out there so we can do the project in person? We’re supposed to be limiting travel and gatherings.”

“Look, Joseph, we both agree that trying to generate our own cryptid hoax is the best way to demonstrate all the techniques Ned wants us too, right?”

“Yes” he hides his answer behind the rim of his coffee mug. 

“We’ll do a way better job if we work in the same space. And if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t had any human contact in three weeks; all quarantined up, unlike whatever you’ve been doing in the city.”

He sets the mug down with a thunk, “I haven’t been out in a month. And before that was only for one grocery run and a hospital visit.”

“Uhhh-”

“I cut my hand cooking. So. Yeah.”

Literal crickets chirp, courtesy of Barclay’s end of the line, as the silence stretches on.

“If it helps, it’s real easy to stay isolated here, and I’ve still got utilities and everything.”

“And you’re not subsisting only on MREs or granola or something?”

A deep chuckle, the kind that makes his skin prickle, “Nope. That much I can promise.”

Stern glances around the studio apartment, clean and empty. 

“What’s your address?”

------------------------------------

Look, all Stern is going to say is that he’s seen and read plenty of stories that start with a cabin in the woods and none of them end well. Which is why he’s still sitting in his car, parked beside a beat-up Subaru, rather than knocking on the door. 

Breathe in, five counts. Out for four. Repeat four times. 

Waiting for him on the door is a note.

Joseph,

Key under mat, make yourself at home. 

Barclay. 

He brings in his bags (a matching set of three, a gift from his aunt last year), placing them in the tiny guest room. It’s not much more than a bed, a dresser, and a tiny table. But there’s a heating unit below the window looking out into the woods, which is pretty pleasant. He’ll be keeping the blinds closed at night, though; he hates the thought of something being able to look in. 

Stern’s busy evaluating the laundry closet when the front door opens. 

“Hey, glad you found the place okay.”

Barclay stands in the doorway, a basket full of fruit in one hand. He’s remarkably kempt for a man living in the woods and that, combined with the deep voice being even richer in person and the fact Stern has to actually look up to meet his eyes, has him stumbling for words. 

“Your directions were very thorough. Thank you. Um. I put my things in there, should I, um-”

“I can give you the grand tour.” The taller man sets the basket on the dining table, notices Sterns puzzled expression “there’s a piece of property about a mile thataway that has orchards they don’t really use. They let me come and pick whenever i want, less for them to clean up.”

Barclay keeps up a steady monologue as he shows him the cabin. The lower level is the living room and dining area, a kitchen which leads onto the back deck, Sterns room, and a bathroom. As the cabin is A-frame, the upstairs is Barclay’s room, all dark wood and pine colored plaid. It’s as Barclay is telling him about the woodpecker that sometimes nests in the eaves that he realizes why he’s talking so much.

He’s nervous. 

Neither of their nerves improve when he gets to his last point of order. 

“Uh, so, the bathroom downstairs is only a half-bath.”

“So...if I want to shower, which I do, I have to come up here.”

“Yeah.” Barclay scratches the back of his neck, “sorry. I don’t, like, sleep naked or anything so we should be fine.”

“Disappointing.” Stern sighs, only to sail past sarcastic and land face first in sincere. 

Barclay blushes, then shrugs, “Trust me, after the first night, you’ll see why.”

Stern does. He’s warm as long as he’s in bed, but the moment he ventures into the bathroom in the middle of the night he’s cocooned in cold. 

The morning brings cinnamon and coffee on the draft coming under the door. He plods into the kitchen in search of caffeine, finds Barclay in an pron, the counter covered in trays of dough. 

“Morning!”

“Morning. Coffee-”

“Right there, sugar and stuff’s in the cabinet above it, cream and such is in the fridge.”

Blessedly, there’s heavy cream to be found, and soon he’s sipping from an enamel mug emblazoned with a UFO made of veggies. 

“Is this all for your job?” Barclay mentioned he was a cook during an icebreaker. 

“Yep. Way it works is I bust my ass baking once or twice a day, and Thacker, who works with Mama at the Lodge in town, comes and takes them over there. Normally I’d just be there but, well, y’know.”

“Everything is on fire? Figuratively, I mean.”

“Sometimes literally too, but yeah.”

As he’s turning to grab his clothes and head showerward, Barclay adds, “You a scone man, coffecake man, or a cinnamon roll man?”

“Coffeecake?” It comes out hesitant. 

“There’s no right answer, man.” Barclay sounds amused, “what do you want?”

“Cake, definitely.”

“Cool. I’ll save you a slice.”

Once he’s showered and on the wi-fi, his day runs like normal; one lecture, reading, a research paper, his initial half of their project, and working either his copy-editing or transcription job in between, and planning his next stream. Barclay comes and goes, stops now and then to see if he needs anything, leaves a sandwich in front of him around dinner time. Then it’s time to crawl under the covers and dream of a less-stressful world. 

The next day, just before one, Barclay taps him on the shoulder. 

“Ready for class?”

“Yes…” He gestures to his laptop and notebook. 

“C’mon, join me out here, it’s way nicer, and we can share the phone.”

“Barclay, it’s  a nonsensical way to attend class, just stay in here with me! Even this set-up has to be better than the woods.”

“This set up. You mean my house?” All the friendliness leaves hi voice. 

“Yes. Look, I agreed to come out because you’re right, if we want to ace this thing that’s worth sixty percent of our grade, this is the place to do it; I don’t have to go along with the whole self-sufficient woodsman aesthetic while I’m here. “

“Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty far from self-sufficient. See you in class.” 

Stern stews through the entire session, but where he’d usually find something Barclay says to latch onto, he instead gnaws on himself. Why didn’t he just go with him? Why snap at someone who’s been nothing but nice since he got here?

Whatever the answer, how can he fix it?

---------------------------------------

Barclay tromps back through the twilight, done with his second class of the day. If Joseph is in the main house, he plans to ignore him until tomorrow morning. That all goes out the window with the clank of dishes from the kitchen. 

Peering in reveals the other man bent over, pulling a casserole from the oven. He waits to announce his presence until Joseph is out of the danger zone, enjoying the view as he does. 

“Smells good.”

Blue eyes flick over to him as Joseph opens drawers, “it’s mostly cheese and chips, so I’m not surprised.”

“Servers are in that one.”

“Thank you. Nacho pie?” He scoops some into a bowl, holding it out. 

“Sure. Uh, look, Joseph I-”

Joseph holds up the server, “Wait. Before you apologize I, um, I wanted to say I’m sorry for my comments. And for being so...me-ish.” He sighs, staring at the utensil in his grip, “I’ve always been a little bit tense, tried to be polite and effective and friendly in spite of it. The last six months made that harder to do. I don’t love it when I can’t be organized, when normal systems go out of place. But that’s no excuse for being rude to you, even before you invited me here. You’re just so...you’re always so calm and relaxed, like nothing was wrong and I just honed in on that way more than made sense. I’m sorry.”

“If it makes you feel better, I kinda did the same thing. You’re always so put together, it looked like you had this organized life in the midst of this whole shitstorm. I feel lik everything is slipping away, like my world is just this cabin. I mean, I assumed you were seeing friends in the city, while I haven’t seen Mama in person since April. So” he sets the bowl down, rests his hand on Joseph’s shoulder, “I’m sorry too.”

Joseph laughs, softly, “turns out we both had failures of imagination, huh?”

“Yeah” he runs a hand over Joseph's back, “now come on, this dinner’s not gonna eat itself.”

-----------------------------------

“You sure you don’t wanna wear the bigfoot costume?”

“Positive. Besides, it suits you.” Joseph finishes styling the fur on the head of the costume to look more realistic, “I just hope we get this done before that storm comes in; as mush as the rain would add to the mood of the scene, that’ll be hell to dry and you’ll be miserable. So, go lurk over there while I finish up getting the camera settings where they need to be.”

“Yes sir” Barclay pops the head on, leaves crunching as moves to his appointed tree. He smiles as he watches Joseph fiddle with the camera; things have been so much better between them these last two weeks. They trade off cooking dinner, study side by side, and watch movies or play games in the warmth of the heater. They have a similar sense of humor and taste in books, and are tidy to boot.   Joseph’s even come with him to listen to lectures in the woods, the pair sharing a thermos of coffee under the astonished gaze of their classmates. There’s just one problem. 

Barclay’s buried crush is now blooming in every direction. Animated, argumentative Joseph was attractive. Joseph, in all his moods and mannerisms, is devastatingly enchanting. He’s come close to telling him this, but the other man is his guest and also only here for another two and a half weeks, so a confession is setting himself up for heartbreak at worst and awkwardness at best. 

He almost blew it last night when they were washing dishes (Joseph scrubs, Barclay dries and puts away). 

“Last one.”

“Thanks, blue eyes.”

“What was that?”

“Uh, blue eyes? Like a, uh, a nickname?”

Joseph laughs, “Sounds like something from a Raymond Chandler book. I like it.”

On the plus side, if Joseph thinks it’s just a nickname and not a pet name, maybe Barclay can keep using it.

“Are you ready?’

He sticks up a hairy thumb and calls, “you know it, blue eyes.”

That same laugh as Joseph takes up his position. Maybe it’s the weird film over the costume’s eyes, but Barclay swears he sees a blush.

-------------------------

Stern trawls through the search results. Their video is getting some traction, with two cryptid hunter sites claiming it’s credible footage. He’s making note of how the information spread, which threads lead to belief and which to doubt, when Barclay calls from upstairs. 

“Joseph? Little help?”

The other man is in the bathroom, and when Stern knocks he says, “Think the pilot light on the water heater went out again, all I’m getting is cold water. Can you go relight it?”

“Sure.” He gets to the stairs then, stops, “where’s the key to that closet?”

“Huh? Oh, shit, right, hang on” Barclay says at the same time as Stern’s “don’t worry, I can find it.” 

Which is why the instant he turns back into the bedroom is the same instant Barclay steps out of the bathroom, blue towel around his waist. 

Any blood that doesn’t head south goes instantly to Stern’s cheeks. 

“You okay there, blue-eyes?”

“It’s completely unfair how good you look without a shirt.”

He clamps a hand over his mouth.

“Idn’t ean to ay at out oud” The mumbled explanation makes Barclay smirk. 

“You like this, should see what’s under the towel.”

The unusually bold statement from Barclay kindles his own confidence.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, big guy.”

“Who says I won’t.” Barclay sits down on the edge of the bed, nonchalant and leaning back on his hands, “got plenty of time to make good on them.”

“We literally don’t. I go back in a week and two days.”

Barclay toys with the lint on the towel, “you could stay. Through break, through next semester, for however long you wanted.”

“Do you mean that?”

A shy nod, “I like having you around, Joseph. Even beyond the huge fucking crush I have on you I...everything is a little better when you’re around.”

“I, um, I guess it could work. We know next semester is online too, and so is work, so…” there must be variables missing, something he’s not seeing, some reason this is too good to be true.

“You want some space away from shirtless me to think about it?”

“That’d be great.”

Barclay stands, hesitates, then plants a quick kiss on his forehead, “take all the time you need, blue eyes.”

------------------------------

Private Chat log 1/11/2021

Barclay (he/him): Did you see the look on Duck’s face when we turned up in frame together. 

Joseph (he/him): Yes. Pretty sure Aubrey yelled something about him needing to pay up. I wonder what the bet was. 

Barclay (he/him): Whatever it was, pretty sure I came out the biggest winner. 

Stern snorts, trying not to blush on camera, and leans over to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. 

[khadij-al-kubra]

Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

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Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I  am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon* 

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that. 

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.  

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy;  he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses.  “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’ 

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

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[kayteewritessteve]

Work-In-Progress Wednesday

Thanks for the tag @queen-kass-the-writer !

Okay, here is my current WIP, which is the 7th chapter of Beauty and the Beast. So here’s a snippet for y’all. I still have sooo much to finish in this chapter, and then this story, but I have been able to work on it a bit here and there, so that’s a step in the right direction at least! Here’s to hoping I can get this chapter done and posted soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

(Please ignore any mistakes in this, I haven’t even attempted to edit or proof it yet!)

* * *

“Are you endeavouring to break every damn item in my house or?” He growls, and for once you can hear that he is clearly frustrated. So, it looks like he can, in fact, show a few basic emotions after all, though you kinda wish he hadn’t shown any at all. You’d like to go back to aloof and disinterested beast-man right about now, as odd as that is to want. At least if he was aloof, you’d know he wasn’t entirely enraged. Because frustrated is only a step below angry, which is then only a step below pissed the fuck off. And that’s two, too many steps close to pissed the fuck off for your comfort, or nerves.

“I-I apologize, Sir,” you quickly stutter out, as sincerely as you can while the nerves and embarrassment of not only being caught dancing around like a fool, but also having broken one of his belongings directly in front of him, run wild throughout your body. “You,” you trail off not wanting to continue on with ‘startled me’, as you realized those next words would have most likely sounded like you trying to pin the blame on him. And you very much did not want to do that. At least not to his face.

“I, what?” He questions lowly, deadly, clearly trying to prompt you into inserting your own foot in your damn mouth. And ha! Joke’s on you, assface! Because while you may not be the brightest bulb in the box, you do still have a few functioning brain cells left. At least enough to know finishing that sentence at any length will not end well for you.

“Are home,” you fill in awkwardly instead, and far too loudly at that. But rather than just leaving it there, you stupidly continue on, “Welcome home, Sir. I hope your trip was fruitful.” Ugh. Fruitful? You imbecile.

“It was,” he grunts, “until I returned home to witnessed you using a 3 million dollar vase as a fake microphone.” He pauses, probably to allow you a moment to let what he just said sink in. And once it does, you gasp quietly, because—3 million fucking dollars?! Why the hell would anyone leave a 3 million dollar freaking vase just laying around where idiots—you, you’re the idiot—could easily shatter it by accident!? “A vase you then promptly destroyed,” he adds in gruffly, as if you hadn’t already fucking realized this. And freaking thanks for that one, Tips! Uuuugh.

* * *

Tagging: WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS, JUST DOOO IT! And say I tagged you, I’ll pretend like I did and no one will be the wiser! 🙋🏻‍♀️🤣

[nerdingz-obsessed]

An Analysis of Castlevania (Netflix)

In response to mean words from a fren.

My dearest Castlevania simps, it is time to rise up.

My friend (who I will be attacking :)) was dissing Castlevania (szns 1-3) after my recent Trevor Badass Belmont post, so now I must indulge myself with a rant on how much I absolutely love this series. This is a five four part thing, sorta long (Sorry? but if you read then you’ll understand why I love it my friend is wrong) it has minor spoilers throughout, but it's been out for a while so, proceed with caution ig.

TL:DR at the bottom folks.

One: The Nostalgia

When I was a (small) kid, my uncle was a senior in high school. (I think, I don’t exactly remember.) He loved video games and he’s part of the reason I love them today. Mostly I only ever watched him play things like Halo, but one day he was playing this 2-D, fight game, killing monsters and kicking butt. (as he described it.) And later he let me take a turn, and I couldn’t exactly tell you I knew what I was doing, but I remember how awesome I felt as some 7 year old kicking vampire arse. Now, I get to see those characters again as a young adult and it brings me back, especially the kicking monster butt parts, which brings me to...

Two: The Fight Scenes

(Light Spoilers) HOLY MOTHER OF GOODNESS, if you would have told 7 year old me, “this is going to be a badass anime one day and you’re going to squeal with excitement,” I would have laughed in your face. But I’m not laughing now. If you’ve watched it then you just know. From Sypha and MAGIC (I stan so hard lemme tell you) And Trevor WITH THE WHIPSSS (Szn 3 Episode 9 THAT SCENE Ashshishgishguhsi) And Alucard WITH MAGIC AND MAGIC SWORD (YES) And just Isaac (Whom we love to hate and hate to love) And all of the Vamps and their kool little fighting quirks. I just love love love how amazing, fast paced, and epic the fight scenes are. And it never felt incorrect. i.e. yeah Cypher uses magic and she always seems to never never run out of stamina, but to me it made sense, she’s trained for her whole life, always on the road and there are times when she does look appropriately winded. @ my friend Or Isaac, he’s powerful yes absolutely, but we still see his human weakness. @ my friend(I think this goes for all humans when compared to the Vamps and Monsters tho...)

Three: The Animation

Can I just say that this is one of the most aesthetically beautiful anime I’ve seen in a while. Like the fight scenes, for instance, when fire engulfs a lot of the screen it looks beautiful. Okay that wasn’t very specific, here, in fight scenes, the lines change. If you look, you’ll notice in intense fight scenes the lines getting harder, intenser I suppose, it therefore adds that intensity. (Especially by season 3.{Szn 3 episode 9, dual whips got me drippin fam XD}) But it was also so smooth and elegant (Hi I really love the fight scenes in this show. :)) On small details: the details in Dracula's castle and Alucard's hold under Gre- that city whose name I cannot spell. Not only that, but the scenery, my particular favorite: When Isaac is ‘forging’ his first set of monsters when he’s out on his own. I’m a sucker for the way from a distance those red flames (flames?) shot up into the sky, it was just *chef’s kiss* in the scenery department, just ahhhh :

Oh, speaking of Isaac, it’s time to get on to important, meatier things...

Four: Characters

First off, the villains/antagonists are not just evil to be evil. (Unless you’re Carmilla... :| ... I mean ig she thinks she’s justified bc hello, she’s fighting for her peoples... and I mean, she’s badass, but I sorta have to side with humans? idk) Big Daddy Baddy Drac isn’t just “I vant to suck your blood,” his pain is real. I mean, losing the only person you ever truly loved? Heartbreak. Isaac and Hector both have totally a plausible and low-key understandable reasons for their actions. Okay it’s not an excuse for their bad behavior, but the way they respond to Drac. And, back to Carmilla, can we just stan the four Queens that rule. The four ruler thing they have going is Genius! It’s brilliant, they share their acquired and unique skills and there’s no mans to ruin plans. @ my friend

Edit: Yo I didn't even touch on our two sibling bastards from szn 3. Lol. They are great manipulators, you can feel the betrayal hurt just as bad. They're the jerks that you LoVE to HATE >:(

And The side characters and minor antagonist give the story life. They aren't just blown off characters who don't promote the plot @ my friend. They add depth, perspective, atmosphere and life into the story. Some may not be particularly necessary, or may not need all the character building they were given, but none of it felt forced. It made sense with the story and the interactions they had with other characters flowed and was natural. Yeah, that was brief, but ya get the point.

And importantly, our protagonists. 

Trevor Belmont, technically the main protagonist and center for the for the entire story. His character instantly pops of the page as a reluctant hero, but one that is so damn good at his job. His emotions are believable, it's fairly easy to sympathize with him and he is a vibrant character that you can easily follow along with. See the badass Belmont post ✨ here ✨

Sypha Belnades has easily become one of my most favorite heroines. Her personality, physicality and entire character are so vivid and colorful. She is a believably strong character who does not deserve the resentment she gets from @ my friend. I admire the steps that her character has gotten to take in the story and I am so excited for more Sypha. Also ✨ M a g i c ✨

Lastly, Alucard, our troubled, half vampire son who deserves the world and a hug. He is introduced as the badass immortal that we love to see, but seeing how he has to deal with well, everything, is why I so love the writers. They gave us a dynamic in which we get to see someone, who at first didn't care or need for interaction with others slowly realize how much he needed it. And you can see the stages of his development through each episode. It's lovely. He also doesn't deserve the hate my friend gives him. Also, ✨ Tiddies ✨ (I'm so sorry omg)

And Extra ! Extra ! they are all attractive, like have you even seen an unattractive face in any of the characters with surplus screen time? Sure they may not be your type (@ my friend) but they each have their good looking qualities.

Five(ish): Dynamics/Relationships

I'm lazy and can't write another paragraph lol, but point is. Everything in the amazing show flows together so well. Nothing feels awkward or forced, and more importantly everything has a cause and effect factor for other things. Maybe not directly, but it's there. And everything will come crashing together soon, can't ya feel it? As for relationships b/t characters, well, what can I say, they work so well, are unakward, and have me begging for more.

TL:DR:

This show is beautiful and amazing, both in animation and writing quality. Characters pop of the screen as do the scenes. Fight scenes = Epic. Villains = Important + Badass. Characters = Relatable. Writing = Good. Scenes = Pretty. Hotel = Trivago.

And I didn't even get into the details. Smh.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you had a good time @ my friend

[xkandy]

Psycho Pass - timeline and why you shouldn’t hate on S3 that much

I’ve been following Psycho Pass ever since the original run of Season 1 back in 2012. I’d like to make you and everyone who disliked S3 understand some things. Hope I structure this well, here goes.

Obviously there will be some spoilers.

First let’s take a look at the releases in the PP universe so far. We have:

Season 1

Season 2

Movie

Sinners of The System 1,2,3 (2 being a prequel)

Season 3

First Inspector

Before I write anything I’m going to stop you and say that nothing tops Season 1. So there,now that we have that out of the way let’s continue.

Season 1

Takes place in late 2112-2113

Central characters are Akane and Kogami and let’s face it, for many Kogami is the one who carried the show, even if some consider him to be a “generic edgy”  protagonist I think he’s pretty solid as a character at this point.

Akane has had MAJOR character development throughout the whole season and I’ll never forget how upset some people were that she was a noob. That was the whole point, she is a newbie and a model citizen who trusts the system, her character evolution revolves around coming to the realization that the system is flawed.

Makishima as a villain was phenomenal and not because quoting from books , but because his motives and reasoning were clearly established  and he made both protagonists question themselves and the system.

Season 1 is written by Gen Urobuchi , the following seasons (except the movie) are not written by him.

Season 2

Takes place in 2114.

A trainwreck, don’t even want to go here. The disappointment was huge.

I found Mika to be extremely annoying and unbearable with 0 character growth. The only highlights for this season for me were Gino and Akane.

Onwards.

The Movie

Takes place 3 years after the events of Season 1, in 2116.

Nothing of major impact happens but if you love the old cast , namely Gino, Akane, Kogami you’ll enjoy this and I have a feeling this is what they were betting on and wanted to see: the public reaction to the old cast.

The interaction between Akane and Kogami is the highlight (another one being Gino vs Kogami).

It’s clear as day that Akane evolved as a character and Kogami is questioning his past, so let’s say some minor character development.

Sinners of the System

If you enjoy the universe and aren’t too attached to the main cast you will like these, although case 3 is about Kogami so I’m sure it’s the one most people will like.

Case 1 has some minor Mika character development (she still sucks imho)

Case 2 is a prequel that sets up some details about the storyline that will be the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Case 3 is the one you’ll want to watch if you want to see S3/First Inspector as it revolves around Kogami and him coming to terms with his thoughts when he is asked by a young girl to train her as he sees in her a version of himself and where this will lead (girl seeks revenge) . 

His story arc regarding Sasayama’s death, revenge, Makishima is complete, it ends here as he decides to head back to Japan.

This triggers the potential for the future series/movies in the Psycho Pass universe to deal with the (possible) unresolved storyline of dealing with Akane once he gets back to Japan, because he will have to face her at one point.

So after Case 3 Kogami is already a complete character , there is no strong conflict or drive for him as the one which had driven the plot of season 1.

We already know everything about him.

Let me jump back to Gino for a brief moment, his first arc concluded when his father died and he became an enforcer, his current arc might be related to what I’ll get to in a second.

Season 3

Alright so here we are,a new season nobody was expecting and 2 new protagonists we expected even less.

Taking place in 2120 , 8 years after the events of Season 1 it follows Arata and Kei in their own CID adventures.

The tone of the series is vastly different from both S1 and S2, most notably :

it feels like those friendly buddy cop TV shows

the violence is greatly reduced, no more “shock value”

the side characters aren’t invested into, they’re just there for being there and plot devices (they’re alright, the new enforcers get some characterization but it’s not season 1 level)

Arata’s “skill” - if you think about it as high level empathy it’s gonna feel less dumb

Being new protagonists, the writers had to make sure we get to like them by offering us details about their past and what drives their motives, I’d say they did an ok job at that.

There’s no room for comparison to Akane and Kogami, those 2 are already established characters who have resolved story arcs and suffered changes.

Keep in mind Akane is 28 now and Kogami is 36, whereas the new protagonists are in their early 20s. They have time for character evolution, it’s easier to write new characters into the universe than deal with established ones such as Akane and Kogami.

Also, we see Kou visiting Akane while she’s in jail, her not being surprised means this may have happened before, which leads to further questions in the storylines that will definitely be explored in the new PP installments to follow:

Details on the incident which caused her to be in jail

What happened when Kogami returned to Japan and how the Sibyl system dealt with this

Kou reuniting with Ginoza, since both work for the hot blonde now

etc, you get the idea

First Inspector

It’s actually not that bad, I’m not going to spoil anything (well...not everything) but I suggest giving it a chance. If you don’t want to watch S3 just read about it and watch this, the most important things to take are from episode 3′s last scenes

Akane is released AS AN ENFORCER by Sibyl and will help Mika

Kogami is sent to get her, there will definitely be a recap between these two

Arata and Kei both have secrets regarding the case they worked on, not gonna spoil anything

Yayoi is alive, and will live with Shion. Just puttin this out there since they’re everyone’s favorite lesbians

Mika is still shit.

Gino is still based as fuck 

Also, there is a post credits scene with Akane saying something along the lines of “ let’s talk about the incident that got me jailed “ . This was only in the theatrical release so you can bet your ass we’re getting more PP in the future.

Thoughts

Lastly, what everyone needs to understand is that S1 made PsychoPass become a franchise. A franchise revolves around different characters in the same universe, sometimes the focus is on the OGs , but sometimes it isn’t.

I would like to note here that Gen Urobuchi is responsible for Season 1 (you know, the dude who wrote Madoka and other stuff like that...) and he did a great job writing a compelling story. Did he want PP to turn into a franchise? This I do not know and I have a feeling this might explain his absence from the later installments of the series. 

He wrote a complete story in 22 episodes which could have been left at that but seeing how well received the first season was it spawned a franchise.

What I want to say is please give Arata and Kei a chance (S3 protags) . They’re not that bad and they help the franchise stay alive as it seems they were pretty well received in Japan. Would you rather Mika be the main character again?! HELL NO

Now I love the main trio - Akane,Kou,Gino - as much as everyone but at this point they’re so high level it’d be hard to write a series just about them. Make one wrong move and the fanbase will hate you.

Also, this one is for all you Kogami x Akane shippers, I view their relationship as professional only but I’ll be damned if I didn’t scream at those 2 short scenes these 2 had in S3 and FI .Can’t wait to see the interactions between grown up Akane and seasoned peace-of-mind Kogami.

If you’re still here thanks for reading my rant, hope I made sense. 

edited to add some stuff

[akirameta84]

original chuunibyo au post but condensed down for me to easily read/reference (and edited because the spelling errors piss me off every single time okay)

(this is bad btw and not very accurate to the actual plot points i fleshed out later with audrey but its the rough thing and when i link the post from the posted fic i dont want the fucking spelling mistakes and ill shut up now)

(i gave up fixing mistakes halfway through and just fixed names okay)

okay so i had this randomly while reading and like now im too invested.

So like, imagine saiki has chuunibyo just like kaidou in middle school and his parents are just like?? yeah its chuunibyo but he has powers?? and so we cant tell him its fake really? and like nobody believes he's actually an esper because cmon, its obviously 8th grader delusion. and he gets to high school and him and kaidou get along so well. and one day, jet black wings and whatever saiki calls himself are, idk, stopping dark reunion and saiki shows his actual powers and so kaidou goes even further into delusion. i imagine they make all the same friends but like they all just put up with it.

that was long but seriously imagine

 akirameta84

reblogging cause i had MORE TO ADD

okay so, his meeting with toritsuka. toritsuka has no clue about the chuunibyo, and saiki is like how did you hear of my totally secret abilities?? and first of all, the spirits told him, and second, literally everyone knows cause he won't shut up about it but obviously doesnt believe it. and honestly toritsuka has no clue whether saiki is actually an esper or just had really bad chuunibyo. then they meet at school and toritsuka sees him with kaido and is like yeahhh he's prolly not legit. until saiki ends up threatening him in the bathroom and reveals his telepathy and toritsukas like you're kidding right??

thank you for coming to my ted talk im so gonna write a fanfic for this at some point

 akirameta84

"I wear a blindfold over my eyes because i was inflicted with a deadly curse, and even a glance can leave you paralyzed in fear, and-"

Kusuke, slapping him: "Put on your glasses and go to school, you can't go blindfolded"

I feel like in this universe i somehow started, Kuusuke wouldn't be like he is in the original show, instead he's a lot calmer and actually cares somewhat for his brother. Why?...I just like that trope. anyways, he's the reason Kusuo hasn't accidentally made a real show of his powers. He just tiredly puts up with him, and made a point to come back from London every now and then to make sure Kusuo wasn't on the news or smt. Kusuo also told Kaidou that Kuusuke tries (and succeeds, with the limiters) to limit his powers, and they come up with the only conclusion, that he's a part of DARK REUNION. and kuusuke is just..done with this shit tbh

honestly im a little obsessed with this universe now

 akirameta84

is it more you're looking for??? hehehehe

so saiki doesn't use the hypnosis that make his devices seem normal, at all. prolly cause it makes Fuchsia Deathbringer (editing note: idk if ill use this but i still think its neat) look 10x cooler. and yes, I've decided that's what he calls himself. i came up with it at 3am lmao. anyways, obviously his friends find his gear weird but considering kaidou wears similar things they're just all like..okay yknow what? just gonna...pretend its not there. kuusuke has to constantly stop him from removing his limiters because he believes they're dark forces of evil restricting him, when in reality they're the only reason the world is intact.

 akirameta84

oh no she's adding to the chuunibyo post again oh god-

kokomi and chiyo both develop their crushes on him, but kokomi's desire to make him say oh wow fades away quicker, and maybe the crush itself, cause damn he's not all with it. on the other side, maybe she finds the chuunibyo endearing, similar to chiyo with kaidou in canon. speaking of chiyo, in this au she apparently has a thing for boys with chuunibyo huh. her crush on saiki starts when him and kaidou are talking about dark reunion or smt and she imagines being rescued by him all princess like. she tries the classic tricks, but he avoids them. why? because he has no time for people interrupting his plans to stop the worlds end, duh.

this whole post is not gonna be seen but who cares cause now ive got fic ideas laid out lmao

 incorrect-saiki

I love how detailed this is and it’s great

What place does Nendo have in this au? I imagine he’s seen Saiki’s powers and believes him and so he either believes Kaidou or taunts him to show his powers like Saiki has

 akirameta84

omg im so glad you think that >.< actually hadn't thought about nendo yet.

i love your idea of him taunting kaidou. saiki of course defends him saying that he can't show his powers because removing the seal on his arm is too deadly. however, deep down, i think saiki knows that kaidou doesn't actually have powers, but whether he's ignoring that detail his mind came up with to spare kaidou or his own fantasy's he doesnt know. anyway, saiki is still nendo's buddy pal whatever, and saiki deems him a lackey. just a lackey. poor nendo. but he's okay with it, cause he can still hang out with his buddy and the runt to get ramen.

 incorrect-saiki

Oooooo I love to think that Saiki is in deep denial about Kaidou not having powers and can sense that he doesn’t. He won’t listen to it and will say to himself that Kaidou’s “limiters” (bandages) are just blocking it because he doesn’t want to face the fact that he’s all alone in terms of his powers. He could destroy the world in just three days and no one else knows how that feels so he feels desperate to have at least one person who understands him, even if he knows it’s a lie.

 akirameta84

some angst and i LOVE IT

my crack fanfiction now has a smidgen of angst prolly gonna get added in it damn

 incorrect-saiki

I love Saiki angst and now that’s like the main thing I can think about with this right now. When Saiki finally stops talking about his powers (after coming to terms with Kaidou not having any) people think “oh he’s finally growing up and getting better” but nope... he is going down a long and depressed hallway because he’s a god and is the only one

 akirameta84

ah yes my favorite trope, make the characters realize something horrible and have them suffer through a depressed like state and the horror of them realizing they're alone in the struggles (spoiler, they aren't technically, they have love from people who will support them even if nobody can relate)

haha time to make him suffer

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

15x20 broke the fourth wall

Edit 2/16/22: This theory has been unfortunately debunked due to the recent explanations/discussions by both Jensen and Jared about 15x20

So I wrote this monster post about 15x20 yesterday being a vehicle for Walker promo and it was probably one of the longest posts I’ve ever made. Ever. We’re talking a straight up novel. If you looked at it at all, thank you. If you read through that massive thing, holy hell, I want to hug you and apologize at the same time. That was really me just working my thoughts out on the whole dumpster fire we got and that’s why it was so damn long. But the important part of it, for me, was not about Walker or even the goddamn network and what they chose to do in the face of COVID. It was what I realized rewatching Dean’s death scene. And holy hell did it blow my mind. 

It helped me sort of make a semi-peace with that finale (though we should not accept that bs at all nor excuse the network) and thought maybe it might help make some sort of sense of this horrible finale we’ve been handed. After the story we got for 15 years, we know the finale didn’t make sense for Dean or Sam in the slightest (regardless of recent comments). So I took that part and put it in its own post, to make it shorter (if you can call this shorter, sorry peeps, I tried) and more easily accessible for anyone who wants to look at it.

As always, I don’t know anyone involved with the production, no one has come out and officially confirmed anything about the finale (except Kripke and Jared’s thoughts), and this is just my take on it.

Below be spoilers for GoT & of course, SPN:

.

.

15x20:

One part of Dean’s death scene that I’d like to focus on are these lines & this one factor:

“I’m fading pretty quick. There’s some things I need for you to hear so come here.” - he’s not fading, he has time for a monologue

“Oh man, I did not think this would be the day. But it is. It is and...that’s okay.”

“I need you to... I need you to promise me. I need you to tell me that it’s okay. I need you to tell me that it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. I need, I need... I need you to tell me that it’s okay. You tell me that it’s okay.” “Dean...it’s okay. You can go now.”

Dean’s theme (x) does not start until after Dean says “that’s okay” - it gets close plenty of times in the beginning of the scene but never actually starts until after that line

Remember Dabb joked “If you thought Game of Thrones was bad, just wait”? (x) We know that Misha and Jensen have watched GoT. The show itself has made quite a few GoT references. And what happened in the series finale of GoT? This scene (x)

If you watched GoT, remember how out of place this part felt? How the dialogue didn’t seem to match what the hell had happened? How Jon seemed to be defending Dany’s actions when his character would never have done so before that moment? How Tyrion says this line above?

They were breaking the fourth wall, enacting Tyrion as the writers’ mouthpiece and Jon as the audience’s mouthpiece. Because they knew fans of Dany (namely the GA) would be shocked at what Dany had done, and what was still to come. Bryan Cogman confirms what the aim of the show was, to make people think (x) & that the writers were going to challenge the audience for rooting Dany on before this, as confirmed by Kit Harington (x).

You know what other show is infamous for breaking the fourth wall at times?

So now check out those lines again, look at how Dean’s theme starts up, look at the scene (x) and notice Dean looking away from Sam, behind the camera at 3:12. Singer is directing the episode, the editors left it in, and this aired. Now notice what he says as he does this: “Oh man, I did not think this would be the day. But it is.” - then what does he do? he goes back to talking to Sam, but looking down. “It is and...that’s okay.” Then we see Sam’s face again.

This is them breaking the fourth wall (why else is Dean looking in that direction during his death scene? How does that add emotionally to the scene or help tell the story? No other characters or events are back there & let’s remember, this scene has been blocked before shooting, actors also have their marks).

This is the writers saying to you: “We didn’t think it would end like this. But it’s happening and it is what it is, we have to do it.” Maybe they planned for Dean to die all along (I still don’t think they did but I don’t know that definitively, other than what the show’s story told us) but they didn’t plan for it to go like this.

Then Dean says this after we see Sam’s face: ““I need you to... I need you to promise me. I need you to tell me that it’s okay. I need you to tell me that it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. I need, I need... I need you to tell me that it’s okay. You tell me that it’s okay.” - this is Dean talking to the writers

The writers back to Dean: “Dean...it’s okay. You can go now.”

Put yourself in Sam’s place for a second, imagine Dean is talking to you. You’re giving him permission to go. “It’s okay” -> “you’re going to be okay”; “You can go now” -> “you can rest now, soldier. You’ve done enough, Dean. Time to rest now.” (I hate to use the word soldier for obvious reasons but think about everything Dean has done, sacrificed for, the people he’s saved, etc)

This is why the forehead touch. This is why the hand shots. This is why Sam is that emotional (besides losing his brother). This is why Dean has that little smile before he covers Sam’s hand with his. This is why Dean’s theme doesn’t start until after what the writers say to the audience, the “that’s okay” part because after that was their goodbye to Dean.

“Goodbye, Sam”

Now think, if Dean was your character that you wrote for and you truly loved him (or even say if he was real and right there in front of you), how would you send him off if you and he could talk directly? What would be the truest thing you could do for him, to make him the happiest and at peace? If you couldn’t let him live or give him anything he wanted or deserved in the end?

Baby is there, Baby makes him happy. He has the Harvelle roadhouse. He gets to see Bobby again. His parents are happy and live down the road. Jack rebuilt Heaven for him. “Cas helped” implying that Cas is out of The Empty. They chose to purposely play Kansas’ version of the theme here and have Dean say “I love this song” right after the lyric “There will be peace when you are done” (this may not have happened while they shot it, but they purposely edited it this way).

The hunter funeral shot isn’t just meant to be a transition to Heaven or even a transition to POV shot. It’s also indicating that something is shifting here. We know how long it takes them to burn bodies in the show (see Mary’s and Cas’ funerals for reference) - look at how it becomes an overhead shot and how quickly (and almost artfully, aesthetically? if that’s the right word) the flames engulf Dean’s body. Then we get a sort of white fade if you will.

Then: “Well, at least I made it to Heaven.”

And who did they choose to greet him in Heaven?

Who was named after Robert Singer, as we know. And who directed the episode? That’s right, the same guy. And how long has Singer been with the show? Since the beginning. 

“Yep.” “What memory is this?” “It ain’t, you idjit.” “Yeah it is, ‘cause last I heard you were in Heaven’s lockup.” “I was. Now I’m not. That kid of yours, before he went wherever, he made some changes here. Busted my ass out. And then he, well...he set some things right. Tore down all the walls up here. Heaven just ain’t reliving your golden oldies anymore. It’s what it always should’ve been. Everyone happy. Everyone together.” “It ain’t just Heaven, Dean. It’s the Heaven you deserve.” - look at this dialogue, this is once again the writers/Singer talking to Dean directly

And who’s that in the shot in the background during the pie festival scene in the beginning of the episode?

Singer himself (x). These scenes parallel. Dean is having his favorite dessert: pie. Instead of Bobby handing it to him, it’s Sam. They sit on a bench outside of a restaurant (it looks like?) They included Singer in this shot for a reason, behind Dean to his left. Then in Heaven we have Bobby handing Dean one of his favorite drinks: beer. They’re sitting in chairs outside of Harvelle’s roadhouse. You know what else parallels?:

“I just... I think about Cas, you know? Jack... If they could be here.” “Yeah. Yeah, I know, I think about ‘em, too. You know what, that pain’s not gonna go away. Right? But if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing. So quit being a freaking Eeyore, alright? Get into this.” “Yeah, you’re right.” *Dean then gets Sam smushing pie into his face*

“So Jack did all that?” “Well, Cas helped.” *cue Dean’s little smile*

The pie in the face moment isn’t just meant to be comedic. Not with Singer still in the shot. Not right after they talk about Jack & Cas. On the surface, it is: “I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time” & then Dean takes the fork and gets some pie off of his face to eat it, Singer laughing in the background. But notice how Singer walks out of the shot right after and they show this on camera (they keep it in the shot!). Singer could have been an extra, he could have been some random guy saying some random line behind them or interacting with them in some way, maybe handing Dean the pie for instance, or someone who accidentally knocks into them for more comedic moments. But instead they kept him in the shot, watching the boys, but staying his distance.

And whose name is on the pie truck at the pie festival? Dabb’s. His name isn’t there just to be there before the end of the show like we’ve seen all along with other names.  

And note the dialogue in the beginning of the pie scene, when Dean & Sam arrive:

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” “Oh, I don’t have a choice. This is my destiny.” And what does the camera pan to? The pie festival with Dabb’s truck in the background.

Dean has two different reactions to the mention of Cas & Jack, and why? Because Heaven was the Heaven that Dean deserved. Where everyone was together and happy. Singer was in the Heaven shot, too, but as Bobby Singer. Heaven is where they were able to speak candidly with Dean after his death. Where they could let Dean be Dean. Where Dean could get the ending he deserved (with network constraints) which was everyone together and happy with Cas and Jack somewhere out there in the same Heaven, his mom and dad down the road, and his Baby there to drive anytime he wants, complete with beer.

“It’s a new big world out there. You’ll see.” “Oh wow. This tastes like the first drink I ever shared with my dad.” “Quality stuff?” “No, it’s crap.” *they both chuckle*  - and who was mentioned in conversation during Dean’s death monologue? that’s interesting dialogue, isn’t it?

“But it was fantastic.” “Just like this.” - ‘the ride (show) was a great one, though’ - ‘now this is your next chapter, it’ll be just as great’

“It’s almost perfect.” “He’ll be along.” - who is the one member of Dean’s family, including Cas & Jack, who the writers haven’t been able to give Dean in his perfect Heaven yet? Sam

“So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?” “I think I’ll go for a drive” “Have fun.” - notice Bobby’s fond smile as he watches Dean approach Baby with a big grin - and once again, Bobby is in the background, watching

Then what comes after Dean starts driving & Kansas’ song is done playing?

Neoni’s cover of “Carry On My Wayward Son” starts playing after Dean tells Sam: “You can go now” (3:28) - and what does Sam do? He smiles and looks down at Original Dean’s watch that he’s wearing & again we get the hands shot - this scene was meant to parallel Dean’s death scene - Dean being present in the form of his nephew who shares the same name, who tells him he can go now & watches Sam die, the cover song being Sam’s version of that song so to speak, and notice the zoom out shot as Sam dies - what do we see? The infamous mantle with the infamous Winchester-only photographs that then fades over to Dean arriving on the bridge in Heaven. The Winchester-only (aka CW) SPN story is closing, with the last member gone. Sam is being released from the narrative to go to Dean’s heaven and we know he’s Dean’s Sam again because of the callback costume to season 1 on the bridge when he arrives.

The Sam that mourned Dean during that whole montage of his life was only partly Sam the character we’ve come to know and love for 15 years. It was also the CW’s Sam. Not just the Sam the writers loved. Once he moves into Dean’s Heaven, he belongs solely to the writers again, so to speak.

“Hey, Sammy.” “Dean.” And then the hug, the looking over the bridge, the zoom out (showing the big world Bobby talked about that the boys are literally facing), and the credits. And what plays in the background? Dean’s theme, by guitar. And what credits do they show before the crew shot? Andrew Dabb & Robert Singer

This is why the cover version is played right after Kansas’ version. This is why Dean 2.0 looks like someone who could be on Legacies or one of those shows. This is why the Winchester-only mantle. This is why Blurry Wife. This is why “very, very purposely ambiguously” from JP. This is why “you’ll love the ending, mine would have been so much darker!” This is why “it’s a true ending.” This is why “If you thought Game of Thrones was bad, just wait.” This is why “Supernatural will never get the credit it deserves. Most people who are looking at it from the outside are going to focus on why it ran fifteen seasons, and ignore why it lasted so long.” This is why Jared is happy with his ending and why Misha is satisfied with his. This is why the vampmimes, the rando Jenny callback, the milk run hunt death, that Cas & Jack weren’t in it more than a couple of mentions, why Dean never talked about what Cas confessed or responded to it in any way, shape or form. It was all about Walker and the COVID effect.

Had Jensen been cast as Walker instead, you almost have to wonder if it would have been Sam impaled on the rusty nail, a shirtless shot for Jensen, and a Dean-centric ending while Sam waited for him up in Heaven. Everything else would have remained the same, though. The network would still use it. They would still get their death ending.

15x20 was not a bibro episode (or Wincest endgame or a pure brothers ending circa season 1-5). 15x20 was a vehicle, almost a backdoor pilot if you will (though not technically a pilot) for the new show. There’s a reason why they kept explaining that 15x19 would wrap up the lore/the season and 15x20 would wrap up the boys’ journey/emotional arcs, why it would be a 2-parter and it would feel different. Why it didn’t sit right with Jensen. Why Jared sounds like he’s parroting what CW execs would be saying about the finale & Sam and Dean. Why Dabb hasn’t said a word since the finale aired. This is why “It was very much take it or leave it”. This is how COVID affected this show (I’m not saying it’s only this, they did start the Chuck/network arc earlier than COVID after all). And you know what Dabb & Co’s response was?

They purposely did shots like this. But even more so their response was this:

Jack becoming God. That is why Alex mirrors some of Rob’s movements from Rob’s performance as Chuck, not just to indicate he is now God the character. Not only could Jack (aka the writers) break Cas out of the Empty, he completely remade Heaven so Dean and Sam could be safe in the end, given the ending they deserved, where everyone was together and happy. How it always should have been.

15x19 was the best finale they could give us and they tried their hardest. You know why?

Jack becomes God who doesn’t insert himself in the story anymore - his “I’ll be in everything” monologue: “What do we call you?” “Who cares what we call him? Look, all that matters is he got us back on line” “Dean, I”m not coming back home. In a way I’m already there” - “What if we wanna see you? Have a beer or whatever?” “I’m around” (when I first heard this line I thought it was an odd line for Sam to say but now it makes total sense) - “I’ll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows (remember Dean talking about being a candle in the wind? & what is another infamous Kansas song? “Dust In the Wind”) “and in the sand, and in the rocks, and in the sea” “This is a hell of a time to bail. You have a lot of people counting on you. They’re gonna have a lot of questions that need answers” “And those answers will be in each of them. Maybe not today, but someday” “They just need to know that I’m a part of them and to trust in that” “I won’t be hands on. Chuck put himself in the story. That was his mistake.” (notice after this line Jack talks about how he’s learned from everyone and when he mentions Cas’ name, they show a shot of the brothers - that is who is missing from this family moment & the show is acknowledging that as they have been all episode, they know how loud Cas’ absence is & how it affects the narrative) - notice when Jack talks about people being their best, that they can be, that Jack looks to Dean and the camera focuses on Dean’s reaction - then “Well, I’m really as close as this” *puts hand over heart* - then Jack disappears, we see Sam’s & Dean’s reactions & then the next shot is beers in the boys’ hands (x)

Lucifer is broken out of the Empty by Chuck to indicate that the Empty could be broken into

We find out what happened to Adam which closes up his story (unfortunately, the poor guy never had a chance like Dean says)

We get a new Death for a few minutes named Billie Betty and Death is killed with no new Death - hmm...

Chuck gets his ending - through Lucifer and Michael themselves

All humans were restored in the end (& had COVID not happened, we would have seen familiar faces return as well)

Dean never got to respond to Cas’ confession one way or the other but we see him tell Chuck to bring him back and get the whole Lucifer scene - just think they could have had Lucifer get in another way or call Sam since he lost Eileen but no they chose Dean for this, to show Dean running up the stairs - because while they couldn’t have Dean respond, they could show this, and Eileen? now seeing all of this, I realize it was never going to happen because the CW didn’t want any romance in the end for Sam (and that’s why Blurry Wife btw) - this is also why Sam & Dean don’t ask Jack to bring anyone back or to eradicate the monsters

Dean reaches the end of his emotional arc as far as he himself goes by the end of the episode with “That’s not who I am”

Dean and Sam get a goodbye with Jack

The initials on the table with Cas’ & Jack’s name added which is very much fanservice but also correct for the found family narrative

The brothers shot on the table in the end where Sam looks sad and Dean claps him on the shoulder before they stand up and leave to show the table shot (interesting arrangement/order of that scene)

Dean and Sam driving down the road in the Impala (open ending that doesn’t end in death)

the song being played “Running On Empty” - everyone thought that meant Cas or The Empty somehow but look at the lyrics (x)

15x19 was their finale and they weren’t able to give us more than that (except for releasing Dean & Sam from the narrative & having them back in the same place as their family and loved ones in the end, all together and happy, what they deserved)

You know what cements all of this?

Where Jared & Jensen are looking right into the camera and thanking us (the audience) & the zoom out to show the crew on the bridge. They purposely broke the fourth wall to show you this (even though it happened after the fade out/credits from the shot of Sam hugging Dean). This also explains why they kept Jared and Jensen in costume, and why they literally shoot from the same stretch of bridge they just ended the scene on, why the zoom out shot is similar but this time it’s facing the cast and crew. The show (the world) is now behind them but they want you to know how much they appreciated your love & support this whole time.

“We felt you guys here with us all the time.”

And who is on Jensen’s left? Singer

And who is on Jared’s right? Jim

Though this isn’t a shot for the show per se and it’s not a blocked scene, it’s not telling the SPN story anymore or any story really, they purposely chose to craft this shot this way, to have Jensen and Jared walk out of frame to lead to this shot, and zoom out this way

And then what do we hear? “And cut” and it cuts to black - why was this line added? why does the ending shot for the crew mirror Sam & Dean’s ending shot? because this is breaking the 4th wall for the episode & they’re showing you that

This was never about pleasing the 30%, not for the writers and the show. This was never about pleasing original fans of the show (from earlier seasons) or a certain section of the fans. It was always about the network & viewership, their constraints, about gaining ratings & making sure their new show that Jared was cast in did well, that a smooth transition happened.

This is why Dean’s character and story development went out the window. Why Sam’s did. Why no Cas, no Jack, no Eileen. Why Cas and Jack are barely mentioned and why Eileen is never mentioned again. Saileen and Destiel were too heavily paralleled all of season 15. Think, if one had happened as endgame (say Sam signing back to Blurry Wife or Dean hears “Hello, Dean” in Heaven since Shoshannah and Misha couldn’t be on set), even the GA (that goddamn 30%) would have went: wait, huh? But the network couldn’t erase Cas from the narrative like Eileen. Misha had been a regular, Cas’ role was essential to the show by the end of it, to the boys’ arcs, he was too important to the story. Plus they saw what happened when the show tried to kill Cas off in season 7. This is why the market research in 2016 for Dean and Castiel happened. This is why Jim Beaver intimated that we should have been happy with what we were able to get. He wasn’t being an ass or unsympathetic, he was just being blunt and stating facts. This is why we got the character montage at the end of 15x19 and no big series recap with “Carry On My Wayward Son” at the beginning of 15x20 which was essential to every season premiere episode, every season finale episode, and mid season-premiere episode of this show. The show wasn’t theirs anymore by that point, not really. This is why the cast & crew aren’t supposed to talk about what the original planned ending was. This is why:

Holy hell, it has taken me almost two months to try to make some sense of this whole goddman shitshow and why they ended Dean’s story like that as well as Cas’, Jack’s, Eileen’s, and Sam’s. We knew there was network interference (and this post doesn’t take away from the fact that the network has been interfering long before 15x19, long before COVID even) but this is…wow. It all makes so much more sense, at least to me. Who knew that it would take me going back to GoT, rewatching SPN episodes so many damn times, trying to see exactly what they were showing through framing, music cues, the performances, the narrative itself about Dean and Cas as well as Sam and Eileen and the found family narrative and Dean wanting a different ending and the whole leader!Sam thing and why it was all dropped…to finally get to this point. Wow.

Dabb, I am so sorry. I sincerely apologize. I have been so incredibly angry with you and Singer but now, I get it, especially after seeing what happened with Wayward Sisters and how the network operates with other shows. I felt so much pain watching Dean’s death happen, with that dialogue, but I can’t imagine how painful it also must have been for those who wrote the character, who loved him that much and knew him the way you guys did, the way Jensen did (omg how heartbreaking that must have been for that man), to have to do it that way. Especially, “Dean…it’s okay. You can go now.” I am so, so sorry. I feel like I should have seen this from the beginning but I didn’t. Ngl, I couldn’t watch that scene before this past week and I still can’t watch it, but now for a completely different reason. I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach just thinking about it.

Like Chuck said: “A headstone with the name: Winchester” - they were set on a death happening. Because what could have happened (and did sometimes though it didn’t take) during Kripke’s era? One of the boys dying. It makes me sick honestly. The CW execs saw GoT, too, but they took something else entirely different from it. And the writers/show had to give it to them but thankfully, they were able to give Dean the heaven he deserved.

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt. 2]

Pairings: Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader

Summary:  Struggling with the death of your husband, you find comfort in someone unexpected.

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death

A/N:  This chapter is strictly Bucky’s POV. If you haven’t figured it out yet each chapter is another month since Steve has been gone. It’s a heavy chapter but the whole series is heavy. No beta and it was lightly edited because I was lazy. As always for this series, flashback are italicized. If you like it write a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

“We’ve got two months left. You gonna tell him before we get home or just let him find out after you're gone and really mess with his head?” 

Bucky huffed at the sarcastic tone coloring Sam’s snark. At least Bucky didn’t have to guess what his opinion on the whole situation was. Sam was shouting it loud and clear. Bucky didn’t have much choice regardless of what Sam thought. He let this all go on far too long, and if he didn’t do something, this whole mess would come unraveled and hurt everyone involved. Bucky could deal with the hurt he put on his own heart, but he wouldn’t hurt Steve or Y/n.

This was the only option because Bucky simply couldn’t take it anymore. 

The zipper on Bucky’s rucksack snagged along the way, and Bucky cursed under his breath as the metal teeth stuck leaving the bag half-zipped. He yanked the sides open as best he could and aggressively shoved clean socks, underwear, and shirts into his pack. Thankfully, it wasn’t cold at the moment, so the weight on his back wouldn't be extensive this time around, and according to Steve, it was a short mission. In and out, gather some intel and back in time to lay low until it was time to catch a bird home. 

Going home was the problem, though. 

Bucky could navigate this life. He could handle being a soldier and all that came with it, but being back in the ‘real world’ complicated things, and Bucky had trouble figuring out how to…  exist without bullets flying by his head.

“What do you think is going to happen when you tell him? You’re like his brother, man. He deserves to know that you’re leaving town and the reasons why.” 

Bucky sighed and tossed his ammo pouch down next to his water. Sam and Bucky didn’t always see things eye to eye. It was a bit of give and take, tug of war between the two of them. It usually came down to what things they were willing to say and what they weren’t. Sam liked to talk things through, whereas Bucky would rather let some things die the way they are meant to -- so Bucky said. No need to kick up a fuss when it only ends in three broken hearts with no good reason for it.

“No,” Bucky grunted. “I’m not going to tell Steve, my best friend as you like to remind me repeatedly, that I am in love with his wife and I have to leave because I can’t stand to see them together a second fuckin’ longer. There ain’t no point. Only gonna hurt him and Y/n. It’s easier if I just go.” 

“Easier for who? You didn’t do anything wrong, man. You’ve been in love with her--” 

“Hey!” Steve shouted across tiny space and grinned at the two men sharing whispers. “You boys ready to go? The quicker we get this done, the faster I get to talk to my wife.” 

Bucky watched as Steve tucked a black scarf around his neck, hiding it under his BDU’s and it made Bucky’s stomach twist with something sharp and painful. It was Y/n’s scarf. Bucky knew that. He would recognize it anywhere. Y/n gave Steve one before every tour, and Steve clung to it -- Steve’s good luck charm. Just the sight of the damn thing made Bucky ache. He hated all of this, how he felt. Bucky loathed what he was doing to the two most important people in his life. As much as he wanted to stop, he couldn't. He tried. He tried over and over again. So when Steve mentioned starting a family when they all got back to civilian life, Bucky knew it was time he moved on. 

It wasn’t because he was doing some noble act by allowing the two of them to have a life and family without him interfering. It was purely for him. It was for selfish reasons, and Bucky wasn’t trying to spin it any other way. He had to leave because he couldn’t stand by and watch. 

“It’s easier for everyone. I’ll tell him I’m leaving, but the reason stays between you and me.” 

“Bucky…” 

“Swear on it, Sam. I need to know this doesn’t go past us.” 

Sam sighed but nodded his head. 

“Yeah, okay. It stays between us.”

Sam had been right it turned out.

Bucky should have told Steve the whole truth that day. He deserved to know who Bucky was and what secrets he was hiding from him. Especially after everything they’ve been through. After he asked Bucky to… Bucky shook his head and stared down at the photo in his hand, fifteen years changes a few things. Time adds a bit of wrinkles, a little grey, and maybe a little extra weight, too. Bucky ran his thumb over the photo and shook his head. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Steve stood next to Bucky, a shy smile on his clean-shaven face and blonde bangs flopped in his eyes. Wasn’t much different from pictures they took not that long ago if he was being honest, only Y/n was on Bucky’s other side, perched on the deck railing and her chin resting on his shoulder. 

He should have been upfront and told Steve what a coward he had for a best friend, and now it was too late to make confessions. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bucky looked up over the toe of his boots to find Natasha standing at the foot of his cot, arms crossed and brow arched in the way that said she was disappointed with him. There was a lot to be disappointed by at the moment, so Bucky was unsure what defense he should start with. He tossed the picture on the rickety table next to him and folded his arms behind his head, he was going to play dumb. That was his best chance at getting out of this unscathed. 

“What--” 

“Don’t give that bullshit.”

Okay, that wasn’t going to work. Clearly 

“Have you called Y/n yet? We are set to be airborne in thirty-nine hours, and it’s been two months since the mission. You need to talk to her.” 

That was how Steve was being talked about now. Natasha has refused to say anything else since Steve died. She has called it “the mission” from the moment they came back bloody, broken, and missing a brother.  It had been hard on everyone, but Steve was one of the few people Natasha trusted without a doubt, and she took his loss hard. On the day of Steve’s funeral, Natasha didn’t speak to anyone but somehow ended up with a bottle of scotch and three paper cups. Bucky didn’t ask how she got it. Clint wasn’t about to question the first bit of booze he had seen in over a year. Knowing Natasha Bucky didn’t want to know where it came from and as her superior officer, it was better that he didn’t. 

Not that any of them owed The Army anything anymore. As far as Bucky was concerned, he paid his dues when he watched his best friend bleed out in his arms while he begged Bucky to take care of his wife. 

“I haven’t called her,” Bucky admitted, guilt showing through the tough facade he was putting on. He hadn’t meant to ignore Y/n these past eight weeks. There were roughly thirty unfinished letters wrapped up in his pack, likely to never see the light of day. They were awful and sounded like something you would read in a grief pamphlet. All the things Y/n would hate to hear and every time Bucky reached for the phone to call her, he couldn’t. Bucky didn’t know what to say: I’m sorry. I know I told you I would bring him home and I swore I would protect him with my life, but I didn’t. 

If he could, Bucky would trade places with Steve for Y/n in a heartbeat. It should have been him. It never should have been Steve. Steve was the better half of the pair. Everyone thought so, and Bucky didn’t have someone who loved him waiting on him back home, not the way Steve did. Yeah, his mom and sister would have taken the blow the hardest, but they would have leaned on each other and made it through like they always did. Y/n didn’t have anyone else, and Bucky should have done more to protect her from this. He was standing right there when it happened.  He shouldn’t have walked away and left Steve standing there out in the open--

“You need to talk to her before you go home. At least let her know you’re coming to crash on her couch.” 

“I don’t know what to say to her, Tasha.” 

Natasha stared at him long enough to make him squirm from unease. She had a way of making me feel like an idiot without ever saying a word. Natasha sighed and locked eyes with him, ensuring he wouldn’t look away before she spoke. 

“Tell her you love her for starters.” 

Bucky felt panic rising in his chest. How did she know? Only Sam knew. Sam was the only one that he told all those years ago, he was the only one there the night all went down. Bucky relaxed as she went on, “She’s your closest friend--” 

Natasha doesn’t know you can relax, Bucky repeated to himself a few times until his hands unclenched and his heart rate returned to normal. 

 “--and she doesn’t deserve to be ghosted by one of the few people she has left because you’re awkward with emotions.” 

Bucky knew Natasha was right, but that doesn’t make it any easier. One thing hadn’t changed in the past two months; Bucky was still a coward. 

“Hey, Trouble.” 

Bucky held back his chuckle as he watched Y/n nearly jump out of her skin at the sound of his voice. Once she realized it was merely Bucky she narrowed her eyes, and he could no longer contain his chuckle. Y/n dug an elbow into his ribs, and he feigned a groan for her sake. Bucky leaned against the railing, resting on his elbows and doing everything he could to keep his eyes focused on the water before him, not exactly where he wanted to look. 

He wasn’t sure he could look at her. Not right now. Bucky’s nerves were jumping like a live wire, and he was worried if he saw her pretty eyes staring back at him, he would chicken out. 

“Sorry,” Bucky said, soft and unsure. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

That was true. Bucky hadn’t meant to. He only wanted a few minutes alone with her. 

“It’s okay. I’ve seen one too many horror movies. I feel like Jason is going to come up out of the lake or something,” she said with a shiver and instinctively slid closer to Bucky, letting their arms brush against each other. 

Shit, she was adorable when she said things like that. Bucky grinned and leaned his head towards hers with his eyes trained on a piece of driftwood floating nearby. He took a deep breath and whispered in her ear, “I’ll protect you, Y/n. I promise I’ll always protect you.” 

Bucky didn’t know why he said that. That was so utterly stupid. They were friends, and it didn’t matter what he wanted, Y/n never crossed that line or hinted that she wanted him to cross it. He should know better, but then she turned to face him, and the driftwood floating against the black water couldn’t hold his attention a second longer. He swallowed the lump in his throat and watched the way her lip reddened from the friction of her teeth, her eyes were brighter tonight under the moon, and her voice never sounded as sweet.  

"Always saving me. How’d I get so lucky to have a friend like you, Buck?”

That night changed everything between Bucky and Y/n, and his friendship with Steve was never the same. Not that Steve noticed, and maybe Bucky never did either. They’ve been friends for so long, ups and downs came and went through the years, so it wasn’t unusual to go through a few rough patches. Well, they were friends. Steve wasn’t there, and even if he was Bucky doubted, Steve would want him in life. 

Not once he discovered the truth under it all.  

Bucky leaned his head back against the headrest and closed eyes. That night wouldn’t stop playing on repeat. He saw the flames from the bonfire like they were in front of him, he remembered the violet in Y/n’s shirt and the lines on her bathing suit top. He remembered being a chicken, Dot, and every single second that led them all here to this future. There was a heaviness in his heart, and it came from the weight on his lap. Bucky looked down at the stack of envelopes resting on his legs, wrapped with white twine. 

They were meant for him, and every one was written by Steve; Bucky hated him a little for putting that burden on his shoulder. Bucky already had to live with failing him; was that not enough? 

Steve had to ask this of him, too?

Bucky ran his thumb along the worn paper of the envelope. They were covered in dirt, and the ink his name was written in on the front had all but faded away. He wished he could ask Steve when the hell he wrote these letters. If Bucky didn’t know any better, the punk’s been carrying them around since their first tour. It wasn’t fair what Steve was asking of him, and it wasn’t fair to Y/n either. Steve should have left these to Y/n, not to him. Bucky didn’t deserve to have Steve’s last words. 

There wasn’t much that Bucky did deserve, and the little that he did wasn’t anything good. 

Bucky glanced around at his unit surrounding him, and everyone was preoccupied. A few were playing card games, some were telling stories about their families and what their plans were once the plane landed, but the majority were fast asleep. It was as good a time as any to see what this was all about. Bucky took a deep breath and pulled the first letter out of the stack, carefully running his index finger under the flap to loosen the glue. It wasn’t difficult to separate thanks to the age of the glue and delicate paper it was clinging to. 

Clint’s loud cackling laugh startled Bucky enough to make him hesitate when he began to unfold the three pieces of notebook paper in his hand. He eyed the group, making sure they went back to their own little bubbles before he forced his fingers to work. Bucky flatted the pages on his knee and shifted in his seat at the sight of his name in Steve’s handwriting on that top left corner of the yellowed page. Something Bucky never gave much thought about before, but now he wanted to hold onto that little piece of Steve.

It was dumb, but that was all they had left. 

He cleared his throat to rid it of the lump that was rapidly forming and adjusted the hat on his head, pulling it down over his eyes as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Not that anyone would dare come over when he looked as he did, it felt as though he needed to hide. Bucky stayed hunched over like that as he read the first of twelve letters. 

Buck, 

I’m not thrilled that you’re reading this. If you are, it means something went wrong, and I’m not going to be making it home. I hope you’re not with me. I hope you’re heading home and taking care of things for me. I know you will. You’ve always been there when I needed you. This time will be no different. 

I bet you’re wondering how this is possible or why I did this. After Y/n, I knew I need some kind of back up plan. I wrote this during our first tour. Remember when I was sitting at the table and refused to tell you who I was writing to? You said I must be writing in my diary. I was writing to you, pal. 

You might have noticed there are twelve. Twelve letters. One a month. I figured it will take about twelve months, maybe more. I hope it doesn't take more than a year from any of you. I don’t want that.

Listen, Buck… I’m writing these because I have a favor to ask, and you’re the only one that can do it. I need you to take care of Y/n, and the letters will help…” 

Well, Bucky certainly deserved this. 

--

The flight was fine, long, but it went by without incident. Everyone was too excited to get home to cause much of a fuss about anything. It had been a long, painful tour, and for most, this was their last. Clint, of course, made a show the second they hit the pavement, fell to his knees, and kissed the tarmac. He wouldn’t admit it, but Bucky knew he burnt his lips. Bucky watched the men and women being greeted by friends and family, his chest tightened, and it felt as if he was being torn apart from the inside. If everything had gone the way it was supposed to, Y/n would be there with one of those silly signs and a tub of cookies. 

Y/n wasn’t there because she had no reason to be, and part of that was Bucky’s fault. 

That fault extended beyond the loss they both were suffering.

Bucky asked his mother and Rebecca to stay home this time around. It wasn’t a secret how badly they wanted to see him, but he wasn’t in the right place to give them the reassurance they needed. They needed to see him, so they knew without a doubt he was home, and he was okay, but he wasn’t. Yeah, he made it back, but a big part of him died out in the desert along with Steve. He wasn’t worthy of some big welcoming party full of tearful kisses and bone-crushing hugs. A quick hello at his mother’s place, in private, would be all he got because Bucky had several promises to keep before he could move on like he had planned.

Being home wasn’t all bad, though. The weight of his mistakes still clung to him, but the air was lighter here, and the sun was brighter without being as hot. The trees rustled in the breeze making his skin prickle at the sound. Bucky had forgotten he liked that sound. There were times like this when Bucky could simply forget. It was as if Steve wasn’t gone. He would be waiting for him when they got home, and the last two months wouldn’t have happened.

Those moments never lasted long; reality was always lurking nearby. 

Bucky stopped on the front porch, letting the thud of his boots sound his arrival. His pack slid off his shoulder and dropped onto the aging wood with a thwack. He took a deep breath and waited. It took longer than he thought it would. Bucky was a minute away from ringing the bell when the screen door creaked, and Y/n stepped out onto the porch, eyes clouded and hesitant, bottom lip sucked between her teeth to keep him from seeing the quiver. She crossed her arms over her chest, using them to guard herself against whatever Bucky had to tell and to ensure he knew she was angry with him. 

Bucky smiled. 

Forced into a new life, but the same girl he left behind was wrapped up in there somewhere. He had no doubt a part of her was gone forever, just like him, but that little piece stuck around, and he was glad. As mad as she was, he hoped she would let him say sorry. He had a lot to apologize for, a broken promise he could never make up for at the top of the list.

“Hey, Trouble,” Bucky said with the faintest of smirks. 

Bucky titled his head to the side, giving her a moment to process that it was really him standing there before him. Y/n’s arms fell to her side, and she threw herself into his waiting arms, hiding her face in his neck where she could finally let out two months' worth of tears and heartache; no one else would be able to carry them the way Bucky could. It turned out, she had missed him as much as he missed her. Bucky lifted her feet off the ground, she was lighter than he remembered, but losing half your heart will do that to you. He tightened his arms around Y/n, letting her feet hover off the ground as he carried her behind the safety of the concrete walls she’s been hiding within.

“It’s all right, Y/n,” Bucky whispered into the dark and empty house that already haunted him. “I got ya. We’re gonna be okay. I promise. I’m home, and we’re gonna be all right.” 

Sorry, and secrets could wait till morning.

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