#educated guess. i passed school thats right

[beesmygod]

oh, so. there's this story thats semi-local to my hometown that ive been keeping up on via the reno subreddit. ive been gawking at it from afar in wonder bc i didnt know people could make this many bad decisions on purpose.

joey gilbert was a boxer who was forced to retire bc he's a cheating bitch who was roiding up and doing meth before fights. the list of drugs in his system would scatter an average human's atoms like dust.

as a shining example of the kind of education i paid for: joey gilbert graduated from my alma mater, UNR, with an english degree and then passed the nevada bar using a law degree gained from a diploma mill that is no longer accredited. so now gilbert practices law. this is the advertisement that greets you when you get off the plane at reno/tahoe airport.

every time i see this i want to laugh my ass off. the vague use of meme formatting even though he doesn't understand the conventions of an impact font meme. he has the dead doll eyes described by clint in jaws. he looks like if lowtax attended his own funeral. there's no phone number or website. google me bitch.

anyway, that's not the point. gilbert evidently fried what was left of his tenderized boxer brain with speed and has tried to fashion himself as the VIP in douglas county/vegas conservative circles. i guess he fits right in because they willingly embraced him. he was at the jan 6 riot and will loudly espouse basically any belief as long as hes getting paid. he tried to run for gov and lost the primary by over 20k votes. somehow he claims this is election fraud. he has yet to explain the mechanisms that would explain how douglas county and its republican chapter manufactured over 20000 votes for a republican primary without anyone noticing during a time when election fraud is a hot button topic, all because they feared that the guy they test research chemicals on was a legitimate threat.

hold up my bad. actually gilbert says HE won by over 50000 and the city of las vegas is suppressing the results. his case was thrown out and he was fined 88k for wasting everyone's time.

okay now: in july of 2023 (insane link btw lol. they keep saying shit like "yeah i did that. problem, bitch?",) the conservative douglas county board of trustees had a bitch fit over their lawyer, who has been in the position for over 20 years, for refusing to enforce a transgender sports ban. in an act of retaliation he was fired by a narrow vote and replaced with........

JOEY GILBERT!!!!!!!!

pros of this exchange:

cons of this exchange: he costs more, has no formal law education, the ACLU is going to rip them a new hole, its now october and he has charged the school district an eye-watering 100k in two months. the previous firm charged 18k a month.

in response, the board of trustees is convening in order to fire......the superintendent who has been in the position for 30 years bc he was against gilbert from the start.

nevada is so dedicated to being number 50 in the nation. its honestly heartwarming to think that even the dumbest, toothless hick can make it there by simply lying nonstop. thats the american way, baby!

[sangyeonsmuse]

LIP GLOSS & SECRETS OF SUMMER Eric Sohn

Chapter 7

🐚 Surfer Eric x oc

🐚 genre | college au| summer love | slow burn| mature topics | strangers to lovers | minor love triangle

🐚 summary | Upon arriving at her new university Park Naokei finds herself falling into a world of chaos as drama unfolds with her new found friends. By the time summer break arrives newfound feelings and crushes spark amists the summer fun. Slowly our oc finds herself trapped between the likes of two guys and it all started with her occasional swimming lessons from the one and only Eric Sohn.

🐚 word count | 2.2K

🐚 important details ; Nzeka Park (neh- zeh- ka) is our main character. known as Nezza by those she calls friends while her close family calls her NeNe . Her father passed away when she was fifteen leaving her with her stepmother who she believes absolutely hates her guts. The girl has two younger siblings, both boys with the youngest being four his name is Aiki short for aikime while the oldest being eight his name was Juni, she also has an older sister named Kiome that moved away to America when she turned eighteen. Park Naokei is twenty and has a huge scar on the back of her thigh from an accident her family had long ago when she was only 5. Though she doesn't know how to swim, She's in love with the ocean and has been fascinated by it since she was a child.

Final authors notes: this is a multipart series with more that 20+ parts, there are few mature topics like death mentions and slight angst topics. Other than that this series is full of somer vibes and playful moments between our characters. For those reading thank you so much for coming along this ride even if at some point you stop reading.

Despite Nao absolutely hating parties she allowed Yeosang to talk her and Sooah into going to one. Realizing that the only reason she hated them was because usually any party she had attended had been forced upon her by her stepmother and it was always people in their mid forties or older. She realized that once her father passed away and she was left alone with her stepmother she had deprived herself of a true teen experience.

"You know I never expected this place to have any fraternities but i guess i was wrong?" Nao spoke absent mindedly as she searched through her closet for something to wear.

"Honestly there never were any until freshman year. Thats when The boyz decided they'd buy some random ass house on the other side of the lake on campus and just make it a party house. They knew none of their parents would approve so they call it the fraternity house as a cover up." Sooah explains as she scrolls through her phone.

"The boyz??"

"Oh right, you haven't really run into any of them yet aside from Eric yesterday. The boyz are the universities golden boys and only frat. Not only are they the most wealthy but the most well known around here. Theres Sohn Youngjae, but you know him as Eric, Kim Sunwoo, Kevin Moon, Jacob Bae, Ju Haknyeon, Ji Changmin, Lee Sangyeon, Kim Younghoon, Lee Jae Hyun though he goes by Hyunjae, Lee Juyeon and Choi Chanhee. Every one of their parents are filthy rich and on the schools board of education, well except for Eric his parents are back in LA." Naos mouth immediately hung open as she listed out nearly fifteen names.

"Okay am I losing it or did you just name eleven different guys without stopping for air, actually im amazed that you could remember that many." Nao turns giving her a look of amazement while Sooah simply shrugs it off.

"Anyways theyre the ones that throw all the parties and events here during the semesters. Otherwise parties are free game during breaks." Sooah adds before throwing her phone onto the bed.

"You know for a girl that never left her house and has never been to any parties your styles unmatched." Sooah watched as her newfound friend exits the closet in all black apparel. Nao had always been someone that was comfortable with her body once she had stopped caring about the opinions of others. Back in Elementary and middle school she had gotten harassed and bullied for so long for her scar that she had after her mothers accident. It had been so bad then that she had been self conscience about herself, but as she got older agree started caring less and loving half more. Which only meant she wasn't afraid to show off what she had and  play around with her style.

"Oh please lets not act like you don't have the fashion of a high class super model." Nao retorts making both her and Sooah burst out in laughter

________

As they arrived at the party; fashionably late of course, there had already been crowds of people outside the house. Luckily for her it wasn't too many people, most of the guests were outside dancing and drinking while anyone inside the house had been smoking weed or playing games. Uno in one corner, cards in another, board games on the couch and beer pong in the dinning room. She had never expected for a party thrown by all 'rich brats' as Seonghwa called them to be this calm.

"Well look who decided to show her face after eight months." A tall guy who she recognized from that day at the pool spoke as he stood in front of them. His eyes focused on Sooah who just stood there with a blank look on her face. Naos eyes moved back and forth from Sooah to him, there was some sort of tension there and she wasn't sure as to why.

______

"Hey isn't that the one Eric saved from drowning three days ago? The one talking to Hyunjae." Sunwoo one of Erics friends spoke up as she watched the two talk to his other friend.

"And shes with Sooah." Juyeon steps up, throwing his arm over Erics shoulder. 

"Did I miss something? He still likes Sooah?" Changmin chimes in poking his head out in front of the two.

"Damn right he still likes her or else he wouldn't be avoiding her still." Kevin chimes in, all of their mindless banter earning a groan from Eric who had remained silent the entire time.

"I do not like her, we just grew apart. It happens." Eric shrugs before removing Juyeons hand from his shoulder and turning back to join their other friends. Meanwhile the rest of them watch the interaction between Hyunjae and the two girls.

____________

"Um did you want something?" Nao decides to step in realizing Sooah had yet to respond.

"Ah its the pool girl, you're the one Eric saved right?"

"Enough hyunjae no point in flirting or talking their ears off none of them are showing interest in you." Eric teases him as he makes his way over to the three of them.

"Nice to see you again starfish."

"Starfish?" Hyunjae chuckles as he looks between the two.

"I guess it's nice to see you as well." She responds sarcastically which only makes him laugh.

Out of the corner of her eye she could sense Sooah tensing up even more.

"A few of us are gonna play beer pong if you're interested." Eric responds while showing the red cup he held in his hand.

"Actually i think we're just gonna."

"I'm gonna look for Yeosang." Sooah suddenly blurts out causing Nao to immediately turn and look at her out of shock.

"Go Nao. You're here to meet new people and make new friends join them." Sooah didn't give her any time to argue. As she watched the girl open her mouth to say something she immediately pushed Nao over to where Hyunjae and Eric stood.

"Well i guess I will be playing." She says under her breath before looking at the two of them.

"Let's make this fast."

She wasn't expecting to have a good time playing with them. Truth be told when she first stood at the table in front of all of them it made her stomach turn. She would have rather just argued to stay with Sooah. She felt most comfortable with her and Yeosang. As minutes went by she found herself loosening up after having poured half a drink or two. Then those two turned into 5 as her team slowly but surely began to lose the game. When she was finally near a win there was a sudden commotion from the left side of the house in what she assumed to be the kitchen.

They all shared a glance before the group ran into the kitchen, Nao made it a priority to push through the crowd as she heard yelling. The scene she saw before her made her blood boil. Sooah stood there, her dress soaked in what she could only assume to be alcohol.

"She tried to hit on me or something!" A random girl yelled as she held a now half empty cup in her hands.

"Yoona she only asked you where the cups were." A guy who she assumed to be the yoona girls friend chimes in defending Sooah.

"Whatever! She was probably just looking for an excuse to talk to me."

Nao immediately rolls up her sleeves and steps in goes to step in front of Sooah.

"Usually I wouldn't involve myself in childish games but I think you're just a lifeless bitch looking for attention. Since I don't like to cause a scene I'll be polite and not give you the ass whoopin you're so desperately asking for, but insult her again and I'll give you a real reason to cause a scene." The anger in her voice was evident as she spoke.

"Oh and by the way you aren't even her type...." Nao adds, looking the girl up and down as she stood there embarrassed. Pushing past the crowd of onlookers she takes Sooah along with her entering the first door in the hallway she found. Thinking it was a bathroom she entered only to find that it was a bedroom, but at the moment that didn't matter.

A sigh spilled from Sooahs lips as she looked at her feet. "You didn't have to help me..."

"I could tell that something has been bothering you from the moment we walked in, you're my friend i'm not going to sit by and let her be a bitch to you." Nao defends which earns a laugh from Sooah.

"Even after hearing what she said? Im sure by now you've had heard the rumors from someone." Sooah responds and Naos chest tightened immediately

"Yes, I have but why believe the rumors when I can get the truth from the source?" At her sentence Sooah finally looked at her with what looked to be shock in her eyes and for a moment she remained silent until finally she let the tears come falling down.

"I loved her. Jeong Jinsoul."

"Jinsoul??!? The one that asked out Yeosang?" Nao exclaims out of shock.

"That was the first day I met her. Yeosang not knowing what to say when she confessed made things awkward and embarrassing for the both of them so she ended up running away not wanting to show her face that day. That was when I met her, I had been at the lake after a guest star on a show. Just thinking about what life would have been like if I wasn't in the public eye all the time. She came there and I don't know we got really close. For months we would meet with each other, the university parking tower, at the lake, late night cafes. We had been seeing each other for so long that it made me realize I had feelings for her but...the night I asked her to be my girlfriend I lost everything." Her voice cracked as she retold the story of her and Jinsoul to someone for the first time.

"Two days after she said yes to being my girlfriend articles got out. My mother forced me to stay away from her, we both became distant and everyone just avoided me. What hurt most of all was Eric.." Sooah choked out as she tries to hold back her tears but failed miserably

"Eric? What does he have to do with this?"

"We were friends...I met him Senior year in high school and since then we were best friends..but when the articles were published he became distant as well and the others were still around but it all hurt so much that i stopped going out and they became distant as well...its why I didn't know what to say to Hyunjae. I never know what to say to them. I felt alone, Eric just abandoned me...I didn't care about the other shallow assholes or bitches here avoiding me but having them avoid me and losing Jinsoul was too much i felt alone."

Nao didn't know what to say that would make her feel better, so she decided to reveal something that allowed them both to be sad together.

"I know how it feels...feeling alone."she pauses letting out a deep breath after realizing the tears had already began forming before she spoke.

"I was five years old when I lost my mother. My mom, my dad and I were at the aquarium when it happened. It was a new exhibit but they rushed the opening. The foundations weren't sturdy and so-." She gets choked up as she shared the story for the first time in years.

"The glass burst and while my dad was able to get me out..my mom..my mom didn't make it. While Me and my dad made it out i didn't get out unscathed, one of the glass fragments cut deep into my thigh, Still have the scar to prove it. I got teased for it up until the age of 14. Then id get into fights anytime someone mentioned the scar or my mom. My dad had such a rough time. For a long time the only person that I had was my sister...then my dad got remarried and of course they had kids and with them I was happy to have my siblings, they mean the world to me. Then the right when i thought that I could possibly be happy with them..the worst happened, my dad passed away and my sister moved overseas and I was truly alone." She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down at the point. For a while the girls cried together and sat in silence. When the two finally looked at each other all they could do was laugh.

"I agree to going to a party for you and Yeosang and we both end up a crying mess." The two of them laugh as they wiped their face and hugged one another.

🫗୧ ‧₊˚ 🍸 ⋅

[lnane]

zero pressure to explain this to my american ass if you dont have the energy, but like.

whats sweden like, as someone who lives there? im always fascinated to hear about other parts of the world from the people who know them best, and i dont hear much about sweden in general, so ive got a lot to learn.

if thats too broad of a question, some suggestions: how do you feel about the weather, or the politics, or the holidays?

whats a nuisance yall joke about (like, over here in usamerica, its usually the military-industrial complex, or costly healthcare)?

or, whats something unique about sweden, or something that you think more people should know about it?

well we can do this in order of things that pop in my head, very disorganized.

to start of with weather: its getting too hot. the weather is actually pretty comfortable most of the time, and these last summers have been the best ive managed in my experience with heat, but you can tell by the climate that its too hot. its too dry, and theres very little snow during winter. its still cold as fuck, but no snow somehow. I wish it rained more. but on a day to day basis, weathers comfy. A bit windy sometime.

holidays i got very little thoughts on myself. theres a few of them and most are just days off. Im not too fond of the way we celebrate them but then again ive only been allowed to and wanted to drink for 2 years worth of them, so i havent gotten into it yet (yea alcohol is the biggest reason we actually still celebrate things i think)

politics is a fucking hellscape rn. the barely disguised neo-nazi party recently got the most amount of votes in the election so the right wing parties is in control. Theyve already started talking dumb shit about climate politics and immigrants. Not looking up. Beyond that i dont know much about the political landscape.

I dont know what a typical swede complains or jokes about because i dont hang out with a lot of them. I know gas prices is a common thing right now. We also have a trend in comedy calling norwegians idiots, which doesnt make sense because we hate denmark way more.

Its hard to say whats unique or special bout sweden because to be all of it is normal. Only real things you need to know is 1. if a swede tries to claim they cant speak english with you, only plausible conlusion is that they didnt finish middleschool (passing grade in english is mandatory), 2. anything that is a traditional swedish meal is pretty much garbage. Its mostly mildly spiced meat, potatoes, and some sauce similar to gravy.

I guess one thing thats a big difference from the american perspective is how our education looks through the years. First 9 are mandatory, ages 7-15 grade 1-9, in stages called Low, Middle, and High stage. After that, you legally have the choice to keep studying or to do something else (socially and economically you dont have that chocie), and at that point you choose your own education. The most common ones being things like Civics, Naturesciences, Technology, and Fine Arts (Art, Dance, Photo, Music, and theatre). Theres a bunch more but these the top picks. Usually lasts 3 years which after you should be around 18 years old and most of the time expected to apply for uni. And during that time you do get money for going to school (seperate from loans, and not a lot of money).

I can probably provide some more detailed information about what its like here with questions about specific parts, but keep in mind that i also know very little about this country. I just live here

[jules-of-the-sea]

I would love to see a Blorbo ranking for your blorbos from Les Mis, if you are willing to share :)

so i made a character tierlist, i dont actually hate thenardier but its funny to hate him. for side characters: m mabeuf would be guy!!!, fauchlevent would be eh (although the graveyard scene was funny), and marius's relations would all be in eh/mildly annoying because i have no strong feelings about them.

you did say blorbo ranking though and i have no idea what exactly that entails so im just going to do everything i can think of. so heres a list of everyone on the tierlist and a few thoughts on each of them

enjolras 12/10 love of my life, top kin, red <3, hes literally just a guy god i wish i was him its all i ever want hes so !!!!!

grantaire 10/10 love him, probably more like me than enj lmao, jaded, alcoholic, cynic, ao3 always makes him an artist but i dont remember them saying that in the book??? maybe i missed it though, it did say that he knows all the best spots in paris though so thats pretty cool

feuilly 10/10 self taught king, he makes fans, he wants to deliver the world and i support him. we all need a feuilly in our lives

combeferre 10/10 (these ratings are a little redundant at this point) fan interpretation always makes him a bookworm nerdy guy (which i have also done) which i understand bc in the book hugo talks abt how he wants to learn everything and he loves progress and education, but honestly i feel like hes a lot warmer and more social than people characterize him. like they talk about how compassionate he is and how he focuses on the actual people in the revolution more than the movement as a whole

gavroche literally just a little guy, hes got his two children in his wooden elephant what more could a street urchin want

courfeyrac party guy, literally tholomyes but if he wasnt a dick, love him for it. actually thinking abt it, tholomyes was a poet right?? and hugo compares him w courf so,,, poet courf???

bossuet unlucky, actually named lesgle, bald, in a poly relationship w joly and musichetta

eponine bro she was not that close with marius in the book, and i dont think she even knew the amis. its fun to pretend she did though. also the musical makes marius actually care that she dies which is sweet i guess. also i love every queer eponine interpretation.

jehan jean provaire, medieval enthusiast, just a little guy i guess. trans/nb jehan is one of my favorite things actually

joly happy guy, apparently nicknamed jolly because of that, doctor(?), likes self diagnosing, must suck being a germaphobe in 1832

bahorel tbh i forgot like everything the book said abt him. im pretty sure he was the guy who saved marius from being kicked out of law school though?? and also visibly expresses disgust when he passes by law school??? king.

javert single-minded policeman, love the themes and internal struggle, javerts soliloquy and stars are some of my favorite songs in the musical

jean valjean all around a good guy, white bread personality but like,, nice. so i guess hes more like the pre-made pound cake you can get at the store. certified girlboss tho

cosette pretty? i like the cottagecore interpretations but also shes literally just a lonely child from 1832 so i guess its just by default. she seems like the type of girl who would be a pleasure to have in class

fantine sad lady, cosettes mom, i wish she had just gotten cosette back from the thenardiers when she had her job but oh well.

marius annoying little bitch boy mf i swear to god he deserves very little of what he gets. also isnt he like 10 years older than both cosette and eponine??? 1832 moment i guess. anyways hes not that bad but its funny to hate on him.

madame thenardier me when child abuse, kinda a girlboss in the musical but in the book shes just kinda there

monsieur thenardier little rat bitch man, fuck that guy, but also hes literally a cartoon villain and its funny

also the tierlist is made in mspaint, i would have found pictures for everyone but a lot of them arent in the 2012 movie long enough for anyone (me) to know whos who so. crunchy mspaint version

[daydreamsandcrashingwaves]

“To be visibly Queer is to choose your happiness over your safety” 

It’s pride month and this is the only space I feel save being honest about MY experience. I knew in middle school I liked girls, this was before I determined I was NB. I was scared, a bully in my gym class often put me down by calling me a lesbian, I did not know what it was really, fragments maybe. I knew my Uncle was gay, I knew that was something my family accepted and I never knew anything different, but no one explained what it meant to be a lesbian. Growing up lesbian and gay were the popular slurs. In middle school I played traveling volleyball, it was what I considered my main sport, I was always on the outside socially because I tried very hard at practice and the rest of my team wouldn’t meet my energy as they considered it a leisure sport to engage in during their off season. There was always this one girl who was nice to me when we’d talk, I had a crush on a girl in my friend group from school (Not volleyball), and I wasn’t sure what to do. I talked with girl and she actually gave me great advice and I followed it the next day at school, didn’t work out but thats okay. So I come home from school that next day feelin good and I walk into my mother screaming into the phone, I don’t remember that part but I know when she saw me she dismissed the person on the phone, came marching up to me (which with her I’m so mad face that wasn’t great) and asked if I’m a lesbian. Being young and afraid of this big bad word that was an insult I said no! I just liked this One Girl, I still liked boys. Turns out the girl not only told the whole team and all their parents had been harassing my mom all day. She looked at me, asked if I loved volleyball, I said of course I do! She then looked at me and said “Then you’re going to practice tomorrow, fuck ‘em”. That was my last (? or second to last) season on the court. I regret not looking for another team to this day. I can’t tell you how many couples want to bring me in their bed for their pleasure, Or you turn down some guy at the bar and they take it as a challenge and maybe they can now have two girls instead of one. It’s dehumanizing and gross. Being queer has always held me apart from most. Being known is truly difficult.

One of my mutuals on another platform posted the quote at the top this week, and I have some mixed feelings about it. To Clarify the feelings are not about my mutual but the quote itself that was posted on twitter. (I found it on their page and quoted it word for word but I’m horrible with links so if you want to see it I’ll do my best or just search it I guess lol.) This person is someone I hold a lot of respect for in my community. They are a transperson, are very visible as a transperson with their partners. With the dangerous conditions in America right now for our community, transpeople especially, trans poly people even more so. The strength to follow the heart when things are tough, persevering, it is irreplaceable. It did get me thinking though, and I have a lot of questions. What does it even mean to be visibly queer? Is there a definition? Is it a box to check off to feel “included”? 

To Me: For pride month it’s important to support the things you believe in, for yourself and others. Sharing individual and personal struggles to bring awareness and education during this month is great! I always learn so much this time of year. I will say this though, I don’t like such generalized statements. This quote is fine for specific groups, but doesn’t always apply to the community as a whole and I hope I can properly articulate why I think this. First queer people are diverse! A lot of people in the community ‘pass’ as cisgendered heterosexual couples but could be bi or pan or ace (or closeted). The other thing that comes to mind is you could be single! I am! and maybe that is why this bothered me so much, both of these apply to me. I am nonbinary and have been told and done my own research to tentatively know I am technically part of the transcommunity although I never felt I truly “count” whatever that means, and would not label myself that way, the statement felt almost criticizing??... I’m not sure. I’m as plain jane as they come. Dark long hair, nail appointments and feminine clothes are being reincorporated into my space from what I couldn’t explore in childhood. I do pass as cis. and I know how important those kinda statements are so I’m not saying it’s inherently wrong.... I guess what I’m trying to say to you and myself is you don’t have to be visible to count. We all have different challenges and what I experience will be different from you. I want to use this post to personally recognize the groups that may get overlooked or receive a not so warm welcome because we all know our own commuity can be very exclusive. Bi, poly, ace and pan people get flack from both sides, straight and queer a like. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me two days to get this out on a page. During these trying times I believe we must speak out for others, not just ourselves. We are here, We are Queer, We are united. No one gets left behind. We must strive to be open-minded and curious to our differences. If you got this far thank you for taking the time to read this. Happy Pride Month my friends!

[myownprivatcidaho]

at this rate the trajectory im on and the choices im making one day im gonna crack like george bailey

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It - Mini Episode I: Happy Mothers Day

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing,daddy kink, fake IG Post.

Word Count: IDK Yet(Soon)

Summary: What happens when there is a surprise on the Horizon?

AN/Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jump things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist let me know.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

May 9th, 2021

Boston was moving from chilly too warm with still more cold days than not. Boston at this time was beautiful even The Evans home was littered with flowers. The beginning of 2021 has been eventful for the Evans Family.

Chris's A Starting Point has taken off like no one had expected, doing incredible number in educating a whole generation on one of Chris’s passions politics and the world.

While Maya within the few months has launched her skincare line Lavish Lilah Skin, and has been able to open back up her dermatology offices with the slowing down of the current devastating pandemic.

This Mothers Day for the family of 3 was different but the same at the same time.

Maya's Birthday has just passed, Chris filming schedule will pick up in the Summer and for the last year Delilah has been homeschooled.

With work picking up for the couple May 9th was a beautiful day for the Evans to just relax and be together as a family.

Its 9 am and Maya was sprawled in the middle of their California King Bed as Chris and Delilah were in the downstairs getting Maya's Mothers Day Gift ready.

"Ok Lilah you've got mommy's gifts and I've got the food you ready?" Chris asked with the tray in his hand.

Delilah nodded and they headed up the steps to the master bedroom the 5 year old ran up too the room first leaving Chris in her dust.

"Mom wake up its Mommy Day" Delilah said trying to climb the large bed.

Maya began to stir awake with a smirk on her face when she heard her baby girl struggle to to get up on the bed.

Delilah hooped on the outerman at the front of the bed and climbed to her mom laying up on Chris's said of the bed.

Delilah began to play with Maya's face.

"mommy get up me and daddy have gifs" Delilah said trying to open Maya's eyes with her little fingers.

Maya breaks out into a laugh now completely awake and pulling Delilah into a big hug kissing her all over the face.

When Chris walked in his two favorite girls were both laughing their heads off the sunlight in the room glowed on their golden skin as their smiling faces brought a bright smile to his.

"Are you two having fun without me" Chris asked as he walked to Maya's side of the bed.

Chris lays the tray on the night stand, pecking Maya on the lips mumbling a sweet Happy Mothers Day against her lips as he pulls her into a deeper kiss just enjoying the taste of her sinful lips.

When they pull away Maya moves over to make room for Chris in their large bed.

Delilah and Chris handed over the gifts to Maya, it wasn't a lot just some small things a card made by Maya from her zoom arts class, a mini breakfast in bed and more flowers *like she needed anymore*.

"Sweetheart I told you that you didn't have to do anything for me for Mothers Day especially everything you have done for me recently" Maya said taking sip from her coffee mug.

Chris chuckles thinking about the last few months, and he has been what you would call a rockstar husband.

With the pandemic Chris has been home a lot more he dropped a film he planned to star in and went full throttle on ASP which kept him home a lot making him kind of a stay home dad.

Chris did everything from some cooking to cleaning to school with Delilah. Him staying home was not only for him to do ASP and spend more time with his family but to let Maya work and bring her employess back so she can get her dermotobly practice back to as close to 100% as she can during a pandemic.

Not only that Chris hosted a surprise launch party/brithday party for Maya's new skincare venture in early April that was a small get together with all there closest friends and family (that were vaccinated). Even flying her parents who they haven’t seen in a year out to see them. (who were still in town and staying out in their guest home)

The three were still sitting in bed watching cartoons.

"My love if you thought today would go by and I would not celebrate you then you are out of your mind" Chris said kissing Maya's head.

The last four months have really shown Chris how much he admires Maya because everything he has been doing is what Maya has been doing since Dede was born.

So at least for today Chris was pulling out the red carpet for love of his life, after an hour of just lazying around Chris grabbed a now napping Delilah and told maya that she need to be dressed and ready to leave the house by 1pm which was 2 hours from the current time.

When 1pm hit the Evans and the Alonsos were out of the house and all in Maya's Truck.

They drove the 3 hours to the Alonso Family Estate in Martha's Vineyard and with Maya having absolutely no idea where they were going she grew antsy because unbeknownst to everyone in the car except her mother Maya was now Pregnant with her and Chris's second child and she was afraid she was going to have an accident in the car.

Maya was about 16 weeks how she has hide being pregnant from Chris for that long is a surprise and a miracle on its own.

However she just wanted to wait until she was absolutly sure that she could carry a complete trimester before telling anyone but her mom because her and Chris have tried 5 times after Delilah and has miscarred everytime.

All that faliure takes a toll not only on your body but on your psyche and she didn’t want to keep getting Chris's hopes up to keep failing him.

Even though he has been there through it all to hold her when she cries thinking about it or pick her up from the pool of blood in the middle of the night he was there holding her hand, but the of how many more times will he be able to do this with her still creeps in the back of Maya's mind.

Her mom's reassuring smile kept her calm while Chris and Maya held hands the entire ride up as they rolled up around 5pm to the estate that had multiply cars in the driveway.

When they walked in Maya's Brothers were both there along with Chris's parents, siblings and their kids.

Chris explained to Maya that with the kids out of school they all decided to being summer vacation a bit early.

As the night went on the all talked, laughed, ate good food and enjoyed each others company as one huge blended family.

It was coming up around 7pm it was golden hour outside and Maya knew for some reason it was time to tell Chris.

As Maya walked outside closet to the horses her mom followed.

"May baby cakes its time you can't live in fear forever" handing the ultrasound she kept in her purse and walking back into the house Maya took a deep breath as she sipped on her water and looked at sun hint the vinyard in the most majestic way.

"Maya you ok your mom wanted me to come and check in on you" Chris asked walking next to Maya who bit her lip which she did whenever she was nervous.

"Babe whats wrong" Chris knew something wasn't right the her body langague was and Chris could read his wife.

Maya tightly gripped the ultrasoud and turned toward Chris looking into his ocean blue eyes made her weak at the knees but she needed to focus.

She handed him the photo

"For the last 16 weeks or so I haven't found a way to tell that we are pregant and I guess this is it I am sorry I waited so long" Maya Says.

She smirks trying to keep it light hearted and Chris Smiles not even taking enough time to really process the new information with tears in his eye picking up Maya who squeals as he spins her around.

"I hope you know I knew already” he says putting her down leaving his arms around her waist.

"What do you mean you knew" Maya asked as her eyebrows frowned as she looked up at him.

"You underestimate how well I know your body" Chris says rubbing his hands up and down the curves of her body till her reached her ass giving it a good squeeze.

"Also you definitely did not hide this ultrasound that well so when I did first have hunch you had already confirmed it to me without even knowing it" Chris said.

He gave Maya his trademark smile and kissed his wife like his life depended on it.

"why didn’t you tell me you knew" she asked breaking the sweet embrace of the two lovers.

"the same reason you didn't I know that with you even though I hate it, some times I need to just watch from the sideline before you can put me in coach, but next time please do wait this long" Chris said.

Maya eyebrow raised "who said there will be a next time you better be lucky you are even getting 2 out of me sir" she said.

Chris laughs "thats what your mouth is saying now we will see what it says later when you riding papi's cock" He said kissing her lips even harder as they fought for domanice.

They knew both of there families were inside and thats why they stopped and just stood enjoying each others company.

"lets take a picture babe for memories" Chris said.

They pulled apart and Maya laughed .

"Chris look at you trying to take flicks for the gram" Maya said posing next to her favorite horse.

Chris took the picture and put it on his instagram along with a picture of Maya when she was pregnant with Delilah.

Chris laughed grapped her hand and they walked inside and told everyone the good news.

This will definaly be a Mothers Day they would never forget!

[ruhrohimrorny]

What Subjects I Think LOK Characters Would Teach:

Lin: PE, obviously. Dating Kya and all the kids are happy cause there’s a noticeable shift in Lin’s mood once they start dating. She no longer forces kids to run a mile every day and instead does it once a week now, so the kids are hoping her and Kya stay together. She also coaches Golf and Lacrosse.

Kya: Waffled between MILF Math teacher, MILF Science teacher, and hippy/chill Music teacher, but decided on MILF Science Teacher. Getting strong Biology vibes. Very fun labs and not strict at all. Her and Zhu-Li are super passionate about leading the Science Bowl team. Seeing these young people be so passionate about STEM and helping their fellow teammates makes her hopeful for this young generation.

Tenzin: He kinda gives math teacher vibes, but a large part of his character in the show is about him keeping his history alive, and teaching others abut learning and respecting history, so I feel like he’s a History teacher. His class is a lot of notetaking but he plays quiet music and does a five minute meditation in the middle of class to encourage kids to relax, so students really like him and actually listen to him. Also, he’s kind of gullible so they make up fake trends to tell him. He once spent a week addressing people as “brony” cause students told him thats what people say now instead of bro. Kids got a good laugh out of that one. Him and Pema are another favorite teacher couple.

Bumi II: Def gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes. Very interesting and informative conversations in his class, but things get off topic very quickly. Whenever kids ask about Bum-Ju, he gets distracted and will talk the entire rest of the period about what to dress Bum-Ju up as for Halloween. Probably plays a lot of videos. And students don’t worry about if they read the books Bumi II assigns cause they don’t think he’s even read the books he assigns. When having discussions about the books in class, sometimes kids will make up stuff and say it’s in the book and for the most part, Bumi II goes along with it cause he doesn’t know what actually happens in the books.

Varrick: Also gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes, but because he’s a businessman/war profiteer, I’m gonna have to say he teaches Econ and gives students lots of unsolicited financial advice. Also supervises the Engineering and Robotics Club.

Zhu-Li: Science teacher, probably Chemistry. She’s very good at explaining and getting kids to follow her instructions. Not only is she a co-supervisor for the Science Bowl team, she helps Varrick run Engineering and Robotics Club, cause if it were only Varrick running it, no kids would come. His intensity and eccentricity scares them.

Iroh II: He’s definitely the young Math teacher everyone has a crush on. Very chill and doesn’t give a lot of homework. Kids love when he shows pictures of his dog to the class and eventually he brings in the dog cause admin think the dog is too cute to say no to.

Tonraq: Resident DILF History teacher. Kind of a hardass but also a nice dude so most everyone passes his class. Probably that History teacher that is also a football coach, so during fall he doesn’t give a FUCK about whether anyone actually turns anything in. Him and Senna is the teacher couple that seems like opposites but actually are pretty similar and balance each other out.

Senna: That English teacher that every mentally ill student becomes emotionally attached to. You know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, funny, and chill so all the kids love her class. Tries to include memes in her presentations to seem “with it” but they’re like, doge memes from 2014. But the kids appreciate the effort.

Pema: Definitely the sweet English teacher that occasionally has a mental breakdown when the students test her patience. Otherwise very chill. Also teaches the Childhood Education and Development class. Her, Senna, and Bumi II run the school newspaper.

Bataar: Drafting. Pretty chill, very skilled, and def smokes on the weekend. Also, him and Suyin are that teacher couple that everyone likes.

Suyin: Dance. Super nice and always has like to of those smelly plug in things going so her room smells good and has a “good vibe that evokes emotion”. Always plays EDM or weird 80s rock to get the kids moving. She runs the school dance team. When Bataar has prep period, he sometimes drops in to see Su dance, cause she’s mesmerizing to watch. All the kids think that, coupled with the fact that they eat lunch together every day, makes them the cutest couple ever.

Amon: Drama. He loves directing kids on how to totally live a role. If you can imagine, he sometimes gets a little overdramatic about drama, forgetting that these are just highschool kids, not Oscar winners, but his passion makes the class more enjoyable. Runs Drama Club with Tarrlok.

Tarrlok: Probably Physics. A difficult class, but he’s pretty good at explaining so most kids don’t struggle too much. His main focus is running student government, which he takes pretty seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

Unalaq: Teaches Psychology. The most pretentious teacher on campus. It’s literally so bad, that even other teachers avoid him. Amon abandoned his coffee still being brewed in the machine in the staff room cause Unalaq walked in and he didn’t want to be in a room with Unalaq again after he said that Amon’s outfit “looked like something stolen from the lost and found of a funeral home”. Unalaq sees it as “telling it like it is”.

Zaheer: Government and Politics. Tries to teach the class very well but also injects his own opinion into teaching a lot. The students find him scary but some also kinda think he’s hot. Also does Yearbook. Him and Senna run Mock Trial. Replaced the old Government and Politics teacher Hou-Ting after she retired. She was that one old teacher that made it a hobby to harrass students and constantly reminisced about when you could smack students.

P’Li: Math teacher. Much scarier than Zaheer. Plays her trash ass music very loudly while the kids work. Def yells at kids. She’s kind of funny when she’s in a good mood tho, and when she roasts kids it’s really funny cause it’s usually dead on. Her and Zaheer are those teachers that flirt a lot and you know they’re sleeping together.

Ming-Hua: Art. Loves drawing and, you guessed it, watercolor painting. Very chill and plays soft music but lets you listen to your own music. Super sarcastic and all the students eat it up. Literally a universal favorite. She runs Art Club and Fashion Club.

Ghazan: Guitar. Pretty cool teacher that definitely has some weird stories. All the students know he has a crush on Ming-Hua cause they flirt constantly, but he denies it. Runs E-Sports Club. Idk why I think that, it just feels right. Him and Ming-Hua are also the kinds of teachers kids become emotionally attached to.

Kuvira: Government and Politics also. Seems calm and reasonable, but is a total ass. Makes kids give up their phones, allows almost no talking, gives out more detentions a week than most teachers do in one year, and doesn’t allow for much discussion. Everyone wants her class cause she’s hot but most drop within the first week, to the point that counselors have to say no to some kids so they don’t have to get rid of the class altogether.

Bataar Jr.: Computer Lit teacher. None of the students respect him so they’ll play Minecraft the whole time or play inappropriate videos really loud. Doesn’t really put much effort into teaching, which for some kids is a dream, but for others is an annoyance. Him and Kuvira are the teacher couple that makes everyone say “wtf”. Literally no one knows why they’re together.

Izumi: Secretary/Attendance. Pretty much remembers everything and is super organized. She is the glue that holds the school together. Most students don’t know her name though cause she’s super quiet and works mostly behind the scenes. Whenever Zuko sends anyone her way though he reminds them of her name and to say thank you cause he recognizes how hard his daughter works to keep everything running smoothly. Izumi catches on to this and always manages to thank her dad with a nice tea and a hug.

Toph: Vice Principal. Scary as fuck. Doesn’t ever call kids’ parents cause she efficiently scares the shit out of every kid, so they never do whatever bad thing they were doing again. When she has to work dances, Katara always tries to get her to dance with her. She resists every time, but she always gives eventually. She’s happy to though, cause although she’ll never say it out loud, seeing Katara this happy at her old age warms her heart.

Katara: Health Clerk. Very sweet and everybody loves her. Sometimes kids pretend to feel sick just to talk to her. She doesn’t mind though cause a kid that has a tummy ache and a kid that needs to talk are both kids that need help, and she’s happy to offer whatever support she can. She also always offers to supervise dances when the school has them and always manages to bust a move.

Zuko: Counselor. Wants to be to students what his uncle was to him. Aang and Sokka were counselors too, some years ago. And while they could give some good nuggets of advice and offered the kids amazing support, they also would totally fuck up student’s schedules by accident cause those numbskulls were exactly that- numbskulls. So usually Zuko would have to fix that. He misses fixing their messes and, more importantly, he misses them (they aren’t dead, just retired). He hopes to retire soon too, cause he’s getting too old for this, but he secretly doesn’t want to retire just yet cause working at school allows him to see and spend time with Izumi. Since they’re both working, it’s not like they have too much time together, but even just her popping into his office to bring him tea or check in on how he’s doing that day brings a smile to his face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

Raiko: Principal. After Toph stepped down cause she’s “too old for this shit” (her words), Raiko stepped in. The students aren’t a fan of him but he’s not terrible. And since Toph is still Vice Principal, she keeps him in check.

[28dayslater]

okay so basically my question is, is uni as fun as it looks?

i'm 23 and never went, i couldn't even finish college bc of mental health and then i never knew what i wanted in life so thought it didn't matter that i didn't go right away and i kept meaning to like figure it out but then i fell into a job i really like and have been here for a few years now and am content enough. no one in my family went to uni so it was never expected of me so when i didn't go there were no consequences y'know.

but social media is full of people in/who just graduated uni and it looks so fun that i feel like i've missed out. people posting videos in their new accomodation and with their flatmates and becoming best friends and staying up all night, going out doing random things and just having fun and being young with no expectations, and i feel like i've never experienced anything in my life.

like i did some of it, i moved out but there's no parties, no events or societies or getting off with strangers. and i hate to admit it but i still only have a single friend, not the friend group i always wanted. i've been on nights out a few times but it's always different because i know i have to go to work tomorrow, it's never the carefree "i don't know where i'll wake up and that's fine just living in the moment" type of experience. everything is different as an adult i guess. i'm tired by 8pm and going out until 10 is late for me.

and like i know myself i know i would not do well in uni due to my mental health and i would have dropped out or failed, and honestly i do not want to study i do not do well in education. i like finishing work and not having to worry about homework or whatever, but i really wish i could have experienced the social side of uni. i don't know if i'd have even enjoyed it, and it might have gotten old real quick, but i wish i could have at least tried it. and especially when everyone i work with met their partners and friends at uni, and i'm here doing everything i want to do just on my own because my singular friend doesn't share most of my interests.

but i also know people often exaggerate things on social media, and that lots of people don't share their experiences so i'm not sure whether uni is as fun as it always seems or whether it's just select people only sharing their few good experiences. idk i'm just kind of feeling like my entire life has just passed me by or something idk.

sorry for the dump omg i did not mean to say all that i was just gonna ask the question but lost the plot a bit 😭

i think the thing with uni is that like most things it is what you make of it. its a wonderful opportunity to hang out with people your own age, party and ignore your lectures and make stupid decisions bc youre on your own for the first time, and theres no other situation where youre gonna be so free to do what you want, but even when youre there that opportunitys only there if you take it. i went uni for three years, spent half of it violently depressed and not getting out of bed or doing any work, fucked up my actual degree and left with precisely one friend that im still in contact with. so even if youre in the position to be having the time of your life its very easy to waste it and end up having had no fun at all.

it sounds like you wouldnt have enjoyed the actual studying and what you're envious of is purely the social side. and tbf the social part of it does get old quickly, i spent my entire third year living with my best friend just watching crap tv every night instead of ever leaving the house or seeing anyone else. but also, theres no reason you cant create that social life for yourself! all the parties and that i went to at uni were just club nights in town or occasionally at the student union, you dont have to be invited or know anyone before you go.

and as miserable as it is to do and as trite as it sounds, you can make friends even when you're not forced together by school or uni or student accomodation. coworkers, friends of friends, roommates, online mutuals who don't live hundreds of miles away, you can ask those people to hang out and see where you can get from there. and as much as it sickens me to say bc i sound like my mum, theres always societies and events and stuff you can join if you go looking. most my adult friendships have only stayed in my life bc ive put effort into them and made a point of seeing those people and actively making plans. fucking sucks shit but thats the nature of being an adult, when youre not forced together by circumstance every day you have to cling to every friendship youve got and dig your claws in hard

but i hope you do okay! and i think you will

[and-the-world-is-quiet-here]

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

 Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town 

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy 

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

[solace-sun]

Not The Typical Way You Meet a Soulmate Chapter Two (Solangelo)

Over the years, Nico had become best friends with Gatorade, Pedialyte, and Ibuprofen, especially after nights like last. Nico used these like shields against his hangovers, but every so often he'd find himself in a drought of Gatorade, or maybe he would get too drunk to remember to hydrate himself. Either way, he always had to face the headache of a hangover once in a while; it was the price he had to pay for his fun.

He regained consciousness on his twin size mattress, with a dim and blurry recollection of the night before. Highlighted in his memory, however, remained Will's impression, his blonde locks, and careful blue eyes. The image made Nico's stomach do flips, but then again, that could just be his hangover.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he became acutely aware of the piercing pain through his skull, the shakes that came in waves from his core, and the faint sense of nausea rising from his throat. He still wore last night's clothes, which now hung awkwardly off his frame; too tight in all the wrong areas and too loose in others.

He felt like shit.

The more awake he was, the more conscious he grew, the grosser he felt. Wrapping an arm around himself, he pretended to be anywhere but the present, wishing he was somewhere other than his besides his shoddy apartment, but the hammering pain in his head made it hard to focus. He ended up closing his eyes and wishing, praying, he could go back to sleep.

Maybe Nico enjoyed the drunken buzz he'd get at parties, but he never came to welcome the pounding hangover that followed. He never learned to embrace the feeling of a twisted gut or headaches like sledgehammers in his skull.

Unfortunately for Nico, last night's wrath didn't stop with a hangover, he wasn't that lucky. Last night's vengeance was about to enter for round two through the door of Nico's room, in the form of a very unhappy Hazel Levesque.

The door flew open, slamming against the wall behind it.

"Nico!" She shouted, "What the fuck man?"

Well, shit. She's mad about something.

Nico rubbed a sleepy eye awake, "Hazel... Please be quiet. My head hurts," He groaned.

"It's because you're hungover, isn't it?" She accused, "Whatever, that doesn't even matter right now. You got in a fight with someone at the party last night?"

"Who told you?" Nico asked, coercing himself to raise up.

"My friend who hosted the damn party, dipshit!"

"Hazel, I didn't even touch the dude. I would hardly call it a fight. Could you please leave me alone?"

"My friend has a hole in his drywall now! You can't keep starting shit at parties or pissing off people, or getting so drunk you can't remember what happened."

"I remember last night. I didn't blackout," Nico reasoned.

"That's a first. How long has it been since that last happened?" Hazel chided, pinching the bridge of her nose "Actually, no. Don't answer that. I'm gonna be late for class. I'll talk to you when I get home."

She spun out of the room and gathered her things. Before leaving, she called to him from the front door.

"I'm still mad at you still, but I love you!" Her tone was detesting, but Nico could appreciate the sentiment. He laid back, boring holes into the ceiling until his interest became fatigued.

After the ceiling had lost its appeal, he decided that maybe it was time to face the day. He rolled over to check his phone, stretching to reach it where it lay charging.

A text from Will was left in his notifications.

Will: Glad you made it home okay :)

Nico couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. He began to type out a response.

Nico: hey i just wanted to say thanks for walking me home last night

Nico: oh and also for not letting my shit get kicked in by a lacrosse player who was a foot taller than me

Will: Lol it was no problem, just returning the favor

Will: How's ur day been so far?

Nico: i mean i just woke up hungover, so not all that great :/

Will: I'm sorry to hear that dude! You know, they say a good breakfast is the best hangover cure

Nico: well thats unfortunate, all i have at my house for breakfast is pop tarts

Will: Are you serious?

Will: Let me take you to breakfast, I'll buy

Will: Call it the final pay back for everything that you did for me yesterday

Nico: i thought walking me home yesterday was payback? not saying im gonna refuse a free breakfast tho

Will: Walking you home was for the party, breakfast can be for the groceries

Nico: will you don't have to do that

Will: I know! I just wanted to show my appreciation :)

Will: There's a cafe I was thinking of. It's usually pretty quiet, and won't be too noisy. I can send you the address and meet you there in 35 minutes?

Nico: alright, see you there

Nico peeled himself from the hold of his twin-sized mattress. He shuffled to a pile of clothes that resided on the floor, scouring for something that wasn't yesterday's clothes to wear. He slipped on a sweatshirt and pulled the hood on; it was a hood-up kind of day. Before he left he swiped a pair of sunglasses laying on his nightstand, his last hope to buffer his headache from the sober world.

He came to find that it didn't help much.

His groggy walk brought him to the cafe doors earlier than he had anticipated, leaving him to anticipate Will's arrival. He stood idly at the cafe entrance with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders hunched. His head still pounded, and the talking of strangers passing by became sirens in his head. He had to remind himself this was all worth it for free breakfast.

Just before his waiting turned to worry, Will approached from down the street. The grasp around Nico's anxious heart subsided as he saw the familiar face.

"How are things going man!" He asked as he pulled the cafe door open with his good arm.

Nico couldn't ignore the headache piercing his skull, "Things could be better," he shrugged.

"Hey, once we get a little bit of breakfast, I'm sure things will get much better."

The inside of the cafe treated Nico's hangover much better than the outside had. The cool air and quiet atmosphere were exactly what he needed that morning. He silently thanked Will for being kind of a genius.

As soon as the two settled into their seats, Nico let his head lay on the table. Will gave him a sympathetic smile.

"That bad, huh?" He asked. Nico only nodded in response.

"Let me order for you. I know exactly what will help you out, dude."

"I will do anything, as long as it gets rid of this headache," Nico groaned as he propped himself up, resting his head on his hands, "Thanks for offering me breakfast."

"Thanks for carrying my groceries for me," Will grinned.

Before long, a waitress sauntered over, placing a pitcher of ice water and two cheap plastic cups in front of the two. She asked for their orders, of which Will ordered for the two of them.

Nico tuned their conversation out, getting lost in the scene outside their window. He watched the cars pass by, his eyes hidden by his sunglasses.

Will pushed a cup of water towards him to reel him back into the present.

"You need to rehydrate," he prompted. Nico did as he was told, and took small sips from the cup.

"How's your day been so far?" Nico asked.

"Pretty good. Though, I feel bad saying that to your face," Will joked. Nico shot him a look Will could see even through the dark glasses.

Will chuckled, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He put his hands up in defeat.

"How was the rest of the party?" Nico asked.

"Honestly? I didn't stay much longer after you went home. I checked in with my friends to make sure they were fine then called it a night. Guess it was just kinda boring without you there, starting fights and all."

Nico covered his face with his hands, "God, don't remind me about that," he grumbled.

"What? I thought it was sweet," Will responded.

"Yeah, I don't know," Nico started, "Drunk me thought I was doing something great, but my sister totally chewed me out for it this morning."

"Why?"

"I guess she's friends with the guy who hosted the party... And he's not too thrilled to have a hole in his wall, which could technically be my fault? I don't know," He explained.

"Oh, does your sister go to school?" Will asked.

"Yeah, she's a freshman, studies early education."

"Oh, that's cool," Will engaged. Then his eyebrows furrowed, and his expression became confused, "Can I ask a question?"

"That depends. What's the question?" Nico's tone was apprehensive.

"How come you don't go to school?"

Before Nico had the chance to respond, the waitress had returned and plates were being unloaded on the table in front of him. He looked down at the mystery meal Will had ordered for him.

"What the fuck is this?" Nico exclaimed, "Is this spinach in my breakfast?"

"Oh my god," Will rolled his eyes, "You know, everything on that plate is what they recommend you eat to get rid of a hangover."

"Okay, you know what? Fine. I'll eat your weird healthy breakfast, only because it's gonna make me not feel like my brain is trying to rot inside my skull."

He grabbed at a fork and stabbed his omelette with it, and took a bite.

"Oh shit," He spoke behind a mouthful of food.

"What?" Will gave a concerned look, glancing up from his own breakfast.

"This is actually really good," Nico admitted why a shy smile.

"See? It's not that bad. And it's good for you."

"Will," Nico began, "I want you to look at me in the eyes, and recall everything you know about me, which, granted, isn't a lot," He paused to take another bite of food, "And ask yourself if I really seem like the type of person who cares about which foods are good for me or not."

Will raised his eyebrows. For a second, Nico thought he had offended him, but Will erupted into that contagious laughter of his. Nico joined in, giving in to the pull of the laughter.

Will shook his head, his chuckles slowing to a stop, "Man, I guess you're right."

Will looked at Nico and smiled. Nico glanced back, if only for a second, and reciprocated the grin.

Then he felt the phone in his pocket buzzing. He reached down into his pocket and gave a quick 'sorry give me a second' to Will before answering.

"Hello?"

"Nico! Are you gonna show up for your shift? I've told you before man, you gotta give me notice if you're gonna be late."

Shit.

It was his manager.

"I wasn't on the schedule for today, I thought," Nico defended. Will looked up from his plate and gave a concerned look.

"Should have double-checked, I needed you here thirty minutes ago."

Shiiiiiit.

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as possible,"

"How long is that going to be?" His manager's voice rang through the phone.

"I don't know... I'm not at home right now, and I'm walking so... It could be twenty-five minutes. I'm so sorry, I didn't know I had a shift today."

"Do whatever you can to get here, I need your ass down here now. We're having a rush and we're understaffed."

"Right, okay. See you in a few," Nico responded, and ended the call.

"Do you gotta go?" Will asked, disappointment hidden in his tone.

Nico pursed his lips, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea I was on the schedule, but I gotta go now or I am so fucking fired."

"Do you need a ride?"

"Will, no, I can't ask you to do that. You're already paying for my meal," Nico explained.

"Nico, it's totally fine! I don't mind at all," Will insured, "I picked up my car from the shop yesterday, so we're good to go!"

Nico's brows furrowed while he contemplated the offer. After a moment, he agreed.

"I'm only accepting because I needed to be there, like, 30 minutes ago," Nico said, as he began to pack his things and leave. Will left a pile of cash that would cover the bill plus tip, and the two hurried out of the restaurant, and towards Will's beat up SUV.

When Nico walked through the back door of his restaurant job, he was met with several pissed coworkers and his manager.

"He finally shows up!" his coworker, Jason, exclaimed.

"About fuckin' time!" another employee called out. Nico ignored his coworkers teasing, and snatched his uniform from his locker, and threw it on, trying to smooth the wrinkles out while tugging on the sleeve. He clocked in, and rushed to the front of the house, to take his position.

As he sped to his spot, he bumped into his manager, whose only words were a muttered 'glad you could make it.' Nico gave a shy smile and grabbed a handful of menus before settling at his stand.

Working at a five-star restaurant was kind of like maintaining a well oiled machine -- if well oiled machines could be a dysfunctional team that somehow maintained the image of perfection on the surface. It was a stressful job, but it paid decently, all things considered, and sometimes Nico even liked his coworkers. In the very least, they were usually tolerable.

But today, Nico was up against the edge, still half hungover, and in the middle of a rush, he wished he could still be enjoying Will's company. Something about Will made his heart feel still.

Despite his longing to be elsewhere, Nico was, unfortunately, stuck at his job, taking the orders of people who didn't know mediocre, overpriced food if it hit them in the face. His least favorite part of the job was the customers, but then again, Nico was fairly sure if you asked any food service worker, they would say the same thing.

This rang especially true today. He was getting a headache  (And no, it wasn't just the remnant of his hangover) listening to an older woman complain about her food. He had tried to tune her out maybe five minutes into the lecture about why her food sucked, and why she deserved a refund with a complimentary meal, but he could still hear the echo of her nasally voice through his dissociative state. After the lady finished her spiel, Nico resumed his customer service voice and assured her she would be satisfied with a new meal, per company policy, and left the table.

He walked into the kitchen, ready to announce that he was going on break when his coworker slammed into him. Now, if his coworker had been empty handed, maybe everything would have been fine. But she wasn't, instead, she had been carrying out a meal, which was now plastered all over Nico's white, formal uniform.

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" She exclaimed. Nico could feel the frustration and annoyance bubbling in his chest, rising up his throat. He shut his eyes, and inhaled, reopening his eyes as he exhaled.

"I am going on break," He spoke in monotone, attempting to disguise any anger in his voice. He dragged himself out back, and slumped onto a crate to sit on. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

Today's shift fucking sucked.

He pulled out his phone. In his notifications was a text from Will. The anger and frustration that held Nico's heart began to loosen its grasp.

Will: How's work? Hope you haven't been fired yet lol

Nico: not fired yet, just got angry looks from my coworkers for being 40 minutes late during a rush

Nico: maybe it's deserved though, it'd be pretty mad if i were them

Will: I mean, in your defense you didn't know about your shift, and you seemed like you genuinely felt bad so I wouldn't beat yourself up too badly :)

Nico: thanks, haha

Will: Quick question, do you have a ride home?

Nico: no i usually just walk home

Will: Do you want a ride? I'd feel bad if I just dropped you off with no way to get back home

Nico: you can't keep doing favors for me like this

Nico: I get off late anyway, you probably wouldn't want to drive around by the time I get off

Will: What time is your shift over?

Nico: uh

Nico: seven

Will: That's not even late

Nico: i don't need a ride, i'll be fine, i promise

Nico: thanks for the offer tho

Will: I will take it as a personal offense if you don't accept this offer, Nico

Nico: dont tell me that

Nico: like seriously though, i can't let you do this

Will: I feel bad just dropping you off like that!

Nico: i walk home all the time, its okay! i promise

Will: How often do you walk home hungover?

Nico: i mean, im not even hungover anymore so

Nico: but now that you've offered, it would be nice not to walk home for once

Nico: im only agreeing because you're practically begging me at this point

Will: I'll be waiting out back at 6:50 ;)

Nico shook his head and smiled, replacing the phone in his pocket.

As he smiled to himself, the back door swung open. Jason peered his head from around the door. He gave Nico a funny look.

"I don't think I've seen you smile before," He paused to think, "Ever."

"Oh, come on," Nico protested, "That's not fair."

"What's got you so happy? Surely not work, not after the shift you're having," Jason commented.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nico taunted Jason.

"Don't be like that," Jason chastised, "Anyhow, boss wanted me to tell you that he wants you back inside, it's starting to get busy again."

"Tell him I'll be back out there in five minutes. Also, do you have a spare shirt I can borrow?" Nico asked, gesturing down to the mess that was now staining his shirt.

"I was just about to offer you my spare shirt. It's in my locker, let me go get it," Jason replied, holding the door open for Nico. He followed Jason inside as the heavy door slammed behind the two.

The rest of Nico's shift didn't improve by much, but at least he had something to look forward to. By the end of his shift, he never felt so welcomed by his hoodie and casual clothes, that hung loosely off his frame rather than the suffocating hug his work uniform gave him.

Clocking out was the best part of his day.

He walked out back, shoving the door out of the way and giving a curt goodbye to his coworkers. Will's car idled in the back alley behind the restaurant, awaiting his arrival. Will waved when he saw Nico emerge from the building.

"Hey, Nico!" Will exclaimed as Nico pulled the car door open.

"Hey Will," Nico started, "Thanks again for picking me up. I know I resisted at first, but like, I'm actually so glad I agreed. Would have been pissed if I were walking home right now."

"Man I don't know how you do it, walking every day" Will agreed.

"I mean you get used to it, but after some shifts I definitely wish I knew how to drive."

"So what, you never learned?"

"I mean, I never really felt the need to? Like some days I'm like 'yeah a car would be nice,' but most days I'm perfectly fine without."

"Have you ever thought about learning?" Will asked, glancing at Nico from the side of his eye as he drove.

"I don't know... I've always told myself I'd learn at some point, but I keep putting it off. Why?"

"I could teach you now, if you'd like," Will gave Nico a smile that meant trouble.

"What? No, Will, I'll total your car."

"It'll be fun! There's an empty parking lot we'll pass on the way back to your place, we can stop there and I can just show you the basics."

"What if I hit something?"

"Nico, dude, this car is worth at very most a total of 500 dollars. I wouldn't be ruined if this thing suffered a few bumps. It's the perfect car to learn in, you can't do any more damage to it than it has already suffered."

"I mean, I guess I don't have anything else going on tonight..." Nico gave a hesitant response.

"It'll be fun, I promise!" Will said as he flicked his turning signal and pulled into the empty lot. He put the car in park and opened the door.

"Okay, switch places with me," He prompted.

"Uh, okay," Nico gave some thought to hesitation, before stepping out of the passenger seat and into the driver's.

"Okay, look at the floorboard. Do you know which pedal is the brake and which one is for gas?" Will asked.

"Uh, the big one's the brake, right? And the small one is the gas?" Nico gave an answer even he doubted to be correct.

"Yeah! Okay, now put your foot on the brake," He instructed. Nico did as he told, gripping the steering wheel so tightly he thought he might break it.

"Great, now grab the gearshift, and put it into drive," Will explained, "You know how to do that?"

"Uh," Nico choked on his own words, "No?"

"That's okay!" Will assured. He reached over to gently hold Nico's hand, as he placed it on the gearshift. With his hand over Nico's, he pulled the gearshift into place.

"Now you're in gear!" He exclaimed with a bright grin. Nico's hand started to shake underneath Will's.

"What you wanna do now is let your foot off the brake, slowly though," As Will began, Nico lifted his foot off, and the car began to roll.

"Oh fuck the car is moving now," Nico cursed under his breath.

"You're doing good! The car is gonna move slowly as long as you don't hit the brakes. Now, I want you to take the same foot you just used the brakes with, and very slowly, press on the gas."

Nico placed a foot on the gas, and the car jerked forward.

"Oh god, I'm sorry," Nico groaned.

"Don't be! You're doing good!" Will encouraged, "Try again."

Nico lowered his foot back onto the pedal, and the car lurched once more. Surprised by the movement, he took his foot off the gas, giving Will a concerned look.

"It can be tricky to get the hang of, but you're doing really good so far!" He encouraged.

Nico's foot hovered over the pedal. Carefully, he began to press weigh to the pedal. The car began to move faster.

"Hey, there you go!" Will exclaimed, "You got it! Now, see if you can speed up a bit."

Nico pressed on the pedal, and the car roared, picking up speed. As the car gained speed Nico lost confidence, his chest began to feel tight. He could feel his hands tremor as he gripped the wheel, and he began to feel his throat close up. He slammed a foot into the brakes. The car screeched to a stop, causing both himself and Will to lurch forward in their seats. Nico's knuckles had turned white around the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Nico repeated, "I think... I think I'm done. Let's switch back."

"You were doing so well though!" Will reassured.

"No, I think I'm done," Nico confirmed, placing the car back into park.

"Oh, okay," Will's smile fell.

His shaky hands and nerves calmed once Nico returned to the passenger seat. He let out the breath he had been holding and rubbed his arms.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overwhelm you," Will said as he slid back into the driver's seat.

"Will, it's not your fault. I've... I've never been good at managing my nerves while driving. My dad gave up trying to teach me years ago because I'd just freak out whenever I was behind the wheel. I guess I thought this time would be different? I don't know..."

Nico felt a hand on his shoulder. Will ran a thumb over the skin on his shoulder.

"It's okay," Will ensured, giving a small smile to Nico, "I just hope I didn't make you feel pressured to do something you didn't want to."

"No! Of course not, I just thought I could actually do it this time. I mean there's a reason why I don't drive."

"You wanna talk about it?" Will asked.

"There's not much to talk about. It's just, like, my nerves... I just get so anxious behind the wheel. It's always been like that," Nico explained, fidgeting with his hands, "Like, I just personally think I shouldn't drive. There are some people out there who just don't drive, and maybe I should just commit to being one of those people."

"It takes practice," Will comforted, "You'll get it if you give it a chance."

"I don't know Will," Nico shook his head, "I can't drive in an empty parking lot, and I can't even imagine how I'd manage on a road with other cars. I don't know how you do it, especially with a broken arm, oh my god."

"I'm telling you, it's just practice. I mean, I guess the arm thing is a little hard to get around, but, I'm doing fine now, I think," Will spoke.

"Does it still hurt? Your arm?" Nico asked.

Will examined his arm, observing the curve of the cast, "No, not unless I move it the wrong way."

"I feel bad, you like, broke your arm," Nico began, "You said you've been playing lacrosse for seven years? And now, all of a sudden you just stopped? Don't you miss it?"

"I mean, yeah, I put so much of my time into it and spent so many years practicing. It was my sport and I loved it. And then, after I left the hospital, after talking to my coaches and telling them I was done... I realized, y'know, that I had put on my jersey, and played for the last time, without even knowing it, and that... That kinda sucked."

Nico nodded, watching Will as he spoke, "This whole thing sounds like it's been pretty hard on you."

Will turned to Nico, "This... may sound so stupid," Will laughed, "But you are so easy to talk to. Like being around you is just easy."

Nico smiled and nodded, "No, I get what you're saying."

He sighed and looked down at the floorboard.

"Guess I should be getting you home though, right?" Will asked as he started the engine. He pulled out of the lot and accelerated onto the road towards Nico's house. Will studied the road as Nico watched streetlights speeding by, their lights beginning to illuminate as the sun began to fall. A hazy shade of grey began to blanket the sky, and stars began to peek out from behind the veil. Will turned his head to steal a glance at Nico. For maybe a second, he let himself admire Nico's profile and the curve of his nose, the bend of his jawline, before pulling his gaze back towards the road.

He pulled into the apartment lot he had left Nico in the night before. As he pulled in, Nico looked like he was about to say something, maybe in protest, but ultimately decided against it.

Nico gave Will a soft smile and thankful eyes, "Thanks for the ride, Will."

"It's no problem, anytime," Will assured. He wanted to say more, but the back of his mind told him to remain silent, despite the pull in his chest. He didn't want this to be the last time he'd see Nico. He also didn't want to return to his empty apartment. He wasn't ready to be his only company again.

"Hey," Nico said, from outside the car, holding the door open and leaning in, "Text me later. Let me know what your schedule looks like so we hang out again. You're a fun guy to be with."

The tug at Will's chest rested, "Oh! Yeah, for sure!"

Nico closed the door, and left with a wave, as Will's car began to roll out of the lot.

Will exhaled a shaky breath, the feeling of loneliness beginning to flood his lungs. It was suffocating.  He drove home, trying not to lose himself to the feeling

As he walked into his empty home, he felt a buzz from his pocket. He opened his phone and saw Nico had sent a text.

just caught wind of a party happening tomorrow, any chance you're able to go? ;)

Will smiled to himself and felt some of the loneliness began to fade.

(Big thanks to my beta readers @embooks and @all-this-panic-still-no-disco !!)

[kweebtrash]

Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

[escapingpost]

The Heartbreak Club (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1: “The Heartbreak Club”

previous: prologue

“Miss Kim Hana?”

You slowly open your eyes and find yourself in a bed in what looked like the school’s health building. ‘Kim Hana?’ You remember that you passed out after turning in an empty midterm. You turn to the woman who was checking your condition.

“Your professor told me the situation just so I could diagnose you correctly. Looking at your vitals, you just need sleep, food, and just rest overall. If you do all that you’ll be fine. I’m sure you’ll be able to since midterms are over?”

You look down at your hands and looked at yourself in the mirror. This was not you. You weren’t Kim Hana.

She notices the troubled look on your face and puts down her clipboard, “Kim Hana?”

You turn to her and use all your strength to sit up. “I just don’t feel like myself.”

She gives you a empathetic smile, “I’m sure you do. Your blood pressure was really low. I recommend you visit your primary doctor to see if you have insomnia. ”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Just a little over an hour. Your friend was here for a few minutes when I told him you would be fine. He had to leave for his last midterm for the day so you might want to let him know your okay.”

“My friend?” You look in your backpack for your phone and see a message from Yohan.

You opened his text.

Kim Yohan: 5PM at Bonchon Chicken Palace.

‘It probably wasn’t him.’ You think.

“If you need more assistance, you could stay overnight. Our resident students here will look after you.”

You shake your head, “Thanks, but I have some things I have to do.” You get out of bed.

“Hana, please remember to get rest.”

You turn to her and nod, “I will.”

She nods her head signalling you could leave. Her stare lingers for a little too long, but you had other issues to deal with.

You go to the front desk to check out and receive a few prescriptions from the front desk, “Thank you.”

You leave the building without claiming the prescriptions and see that it was getting dark. Unlike the midterm, you knew exactly where you lived. Luckily, you, actually, Kim Hana, lived on campus in a single room dorm. 

You walk down the path passing some students along the way.

“Kim Hana.”

For the nth time, someone calls out to you with the unfamiliar name. You let out a deep sigh and unknowingly roll your eyes, “Thats me, I guess.”

The male strides to you with his hands in his pockets, “You guess?”

You stare up at him as he towers over you.

Hey, you’re going over the line.

Me? Why did you even invite someone from a different department, Lee Hangyul?

If I knew you were going, I wouldn’t have come.

Good to know. I’m leaving. Have fun.

“I know you don’t like me, but passing by me like you didn’t know me is a little much.”

You look up at him, tired from the whole day and the visions you were having, “Lee Hangyul?”

“I knew you wouldn’t forget. I’m in multiple of your classes, unfortunately.” he says sarcastically.

“I’m really tired right now, is there something you want to say?”

Hangyul studies your face intently and sees your half lidded eyes and droopy shoulders. He looks down and lightly kicks at the ground, “You’re welcome.” He scoffs and walks away from you. “Why did I even help that brat?”

“Kim Hana obviously did not have a good relationship with him.” you deducted.

You reach your dorm and enter your room using your keypad. You remembered everything about the place you were in. Kim Hana spent multiple nights in the dorm trying her best to study. You try to search deeper into your memory and finally take out one of your notebooks to write about everything you remember.

Kim Hana - Studious student in the engineering department. Smart, but a little mean? does not work well in social situations.

Kim Yohan - College of physical education. Taekwondo club member.

Lee Hangyul - Engineering classmate. Does not get along with me Kim Hana.

You start to tap the pen on your desk and try to remember more names.

Cho Seungyoun, Kim Wooseok, Han Seungwoo

You write down three more names, but couldn’t match a face to any of them.

You look around your dorm to find other clues to this sudden memory loss or whatever this was. You open the curtains to your dorm and the night sky triggers a vision.

You close your eyes to focus. Suddenly, a tune starts to play in your head. It had a melancholy tone with a huge climax and multiple scenes start playing in your mind.

I hate her.

Just give her a chance, Hana. You can count the girls in your classes with one hand. Might as well create some sort of feminine pact?

She better stay away from Seungwoo-sunbae.

Yah, Kim Hana. I really don’t care what you say about me, but keep Hangyul out of your mouth.

Isn’t your friendship amazing?

I’m sure you know nothing of that.

And I’m sure you know nothing at all.

Why am I even fighting a freshman? Why can’t you be like Minju?

Seungwoo-sunbae, I’m going to need some help. This is the first time I’m ever doing soldering.

Sure, Hana. I’ll be happy to help you. Why don’t you come to room 401 in the engineering building tomorrow? I’m helping Minju with that too.

Minju? Kim Minju?

Yeah, I know there aren’t many girls in this department so I want to help you girls as much as I can.

Why me? Aren’t you interested in Seungwoo like every other girl in this damn sausage fest of a department?

You come in second place every single competition, but that doesn’t mean you’re not as good at him. Wait, it kinda does.

You suck at sympathizing.

Also, I know your little secret, Wooseok-sunbae. So you can just drop your act because I just might blurt it out by accident.

You open your eyes and take a sharp gasp.

This was not memory loss.

You cover your mouth in disbelief as your eyes dart around, “The Heartbreak Club.”

next: chapter 2

[imbumkyung]

I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch. 1) - My

(twilight x reader)

Pairing: undecided

Chapter 2

Warnings: none! But this doesnt include the twilight world just yet

Most of her days were being spent like this lately. At home, walk the dogs, help out mom with the house, say she’ll do this and that— but doesn’t. Except on the rare occasions that she does. Thats why even after a whole month of not going out with her friends and ninety percent of her day being spent at home, her room was only getting messier. And honestly, in 2019, cell phone addictions are to blame.

Hours in her room dressing up with nowhere to go, and even more hours on instagram watching how much fun everyone else was having. In truth, it was a hole she dug on her own, rejecting invites and not creating them. She knew she needed to lose weight before going into the military because let’s face it— she can’t succeed in life any other way if education was never going to work out for her. She needed some sort of security for her future and if college wasn’t going to do it, the military would have to. Or at least that’s what her parents told her.

Though she was content, there was the part of her that wished there was some other way. But there wasn’t. She tried a whole dreadful year of college as an art major, and through that year she prioritized anything but school. She prioritized dancing and her social life. It hit her like a car crash that she couldn’t live on like this especially the the angel on her shoulder telling to her make the right decisions or her parents would find out about her antics. So when the car crash happened while she was supposed to be in school— instead she was on her way to get her nails done— it was the last straw for mom and dad.

The only thing that really made her want to stay away from the military was the boy she was talking to earlier in the year. That stupid boy. Long story short, the heartbreak he gave her really made her realize how strong she wanted to be, and let her dad know she wanted to see a recruiter the very next day. A maybe it was impulsive, but definitely rational.

So there she was, in her room at twelve noon, telling her long time friend Soren that she couldn’t hang with him because “her mom was mad at her and won’t let her go out”.

“It’s all good” he texted back.

Kaileia sighed. The only thing she could do was go to the beach, walk her dogs, go to the gym or wish she was as happy as she saw her friends were on instagram. Until her family vacation to California that was to happen in two weeks from now, passing time would be a burden. Deciding she’d soak in a bit of the Hawaii sun before coming back to her room only to be on her phone some more and possibly make some art, she peeled herself off the bed, prepared herself for the day and took her dogs out for a walk.

Besides the stressful pull of the leash her Border Collie– Athena– provided every time she saw another dog, these walks were always peaceful and provided much headspace. Hawaii was a beautiful combination for magnificent islands and Kauai was no exception. The humidity was just right, the sun was warm enough, the waters were usually friendly just as the people were. With so much headspace, her thoughts had everywhere to go.

“The population of Native Hawaiians are going dangerously low—I’m really no exception. I’m not even full Hawaiian. Poi donuts sound great right now. How are my sister and her boyfriend going to handle a long distance relationship? I wonder if if Kai actually likes football. Does he have a girlfriend? Whoever gets my little brother will be so lucky. I wonder if Keiki is doing okay in middle school. Mom has work tonight. Having two jobs and four kids is so stressful. Let’s not forget that Dad is going to school too— for the sole purpose of making money. The military pays him for it.

I wonder what Mark saw in Jennika that he didn’t see in me.

Her expression clouded, not wanting to remember him. They ended on a good note, but upon seeing that he decided to pursue a relationship with her and not him, it hurt her pride. A lot.

Snapping out of it and watching her two dogs happily walking along the beach, tongues out and frolicking about, she smiled. “These two have my whole heart” She thought.

What if life was different? If I had friends who texted me more than once in a blue moon. If I wasn’t on instagram all the time and I was actually out in the world. If I actually had people to shop with— okay maybe not that one. Shopping with other people around is distracting. But still, I wish I was closer with people.

Life right now was lonely for her. Soren’s invitation was one he sent for the first time in 2 months. Not that it’s his fault. She’d turn down his last one because she was too heartbroken by Mark to see anybody.

Nearing halfway through her route, she whipped out her phone to put on Pokémon Go! After all, it’d be a waste to pass all these pokestops even if she wasn’t planning on catching anything at the moment.

It was 1 p.m. and she was back from the walk. The sound of two little girls and a baby filled the house as they ran around pretending to be Elsa and Aurora in their pink and blue dresses.

She took out a mug and began to steep white tea. After a few minutes of this, she boiled 2 eggs, ate a banana, and made toast to put peanut butter on later.

“Going to the gym later?”, her mom, Mahealani questioned, holding the baby on her hip. She ran an at-home day care while working at a restaurant after 5p.m.

Kaileia cast an annoyed look for a quick second before muttering a “yeah”.

Ever since the emotional conversation to her mom about not wanting to pursue college, her mom made sure she knew that the military would be secure, and that she had to go as soon as possible in order to retire early. Mahea wanted the best for her daughter. The idea was always in her air, but Kaileia wanted to try out college first.

3p.m. Go to the gym because mom told you to

4p.m. Just a few more sets and we’ll go home.

Text from: Miko

Hey do you wanna go to Na Pali later? CJ and Li are coming too

Kaileia smiled, she loved that coast and the fish she could swim with that were within 4 feet high of the ocean

Text to: Miko

I’m down what time tho?

Text from: Miko

We’re gonna go at like 6 do u need a ride

Text to: Miko

yeeeee

5p.m.

”Should I take a shower? I just worked out but I’m gonna go in the ocean,” Kaileia asked Miko over the phone

“Just dont wash your hair I guess honestly I dont know,” Miko replied

“Bitch what if I infect the ocean,” Kaileia jokingly exclaimed

“Bitch, I don’t know! The fish will die I guess!” Miko laughed.

“Amazing,” Kaileia deadpanned.

“Oh and Li’s not coming anymore,” Miko mentioned

“Why?”

“I don’t know I think him and his mans are gonna do crackhead things,”

“I’m surprised,” Kaileia said sarcastically

“Same,” Miko said

7p.m.

Kaileia, CJ, and Miko walked in their swimsuits and towels along the coast, finding their usual spot before running right in. The two girls hair flowing behind them in the wind while CJ’s curls bounced with him.

8p.m.

The trio finally walked out of the water, feeling as if gravity was pulling them harder than usual.

Sitting on the towels, Kaileia suddenly asked, “Do you guys ever wish life was different?”

“Shit is it sad girl hours already?” CJ asked, earning a short chuckle from Miko.

“I honestly don’t even know like— the ocean has me feeling some type of way,” Kaileia explained.

“I wish I didnt have a nicotine addiction,” CJ suddenly joked, while taking a hit from his vape. The girls both laughed. “I don’t wanna be gay no more this shit making me stupid I swear” they laughed even harder at his half-assed excuses.

“Shut up hoe you love being gay,” Miko swatted him while taking a hit

“You right though,” he aknowledged

“You guys radiate crackhead energy like 24/7,” Kaileia said

And it was true. Out of the four— Li being absent— Kaileia was the most “normal” one. Not to say she wasn’t as crazy as them, she just was normal at more times than they were.

The rest of the night was filled with vine references, creating tik tocs on the beach, and taking “Hot Girl Summer” beach photos. Though it was dark, Kaileia decided to go for one last swim, taking Miko with her. CJ stayed behind to enjoy the night time coast while the girls ran in. Kaileia ran faster, underestimating the tide as she was already in 4feet deep and still being pulled in as she was deeper now and the wave aggressively towering over her at 7 feet. Stunned, she held her breath and braced herself.

“Kai!” Miko yelled, panicked

The only thing Kaileia heard after that was the gargling sounds of the unforgiving ocean before everything went black.

Tag list : @sunflowerspectre

Heres the first chapter! Before jumping into the Twilight world, I kinda wanted you guys to know the character a little bit. Thank you for reading! Likes, Reblogs, Suggestions / Recommendations & Critiques are appreciated!!

[emmerrr]

heyyyy if you wanna write a pynch vday fic, how about one where they're like... both trying to be sneaky about planning sth for valentines day and so both think the other has forgotten about it and they're both like ://// but it all uhh works out in the end?? x

what a top notch suggestion, absoLUTELY i can write that 💕💕 (uhh heads up this got kinda long, i’ll put it on ao3 too and reblog with a link later)

-

Adam sat alone in a corner booth of Nino’s, History notes open on the table before him. He’d written VALENTINE’S DAY?? in the margin, underlined three times. He frowned at the words, wondering why he was fixating on them, and turned his head to stare listlessly out of the window instead.

Blue was there working, but she’d been too busy to come and say hello so far, simply offering him a harried wave when she spotted him walk in, pointing him towards the table he was now seated at. The other staff at Nino’s never bothered them anymore, knowing Blue would cover their table. Adam had heard them being referred to as “Blue’s Boys” on more than one occasion.

He was currently the only one there, having beaten Henry and Gansey out of the school gates. He assumed they’d got held up by a traffic light or two, and Ronan had further to drive than the rest of them so would likely arrive last anyway.

Thinking of Ronan immediately returned Adam’s thoughts to the words written in his notes and he scowled at the parking lot. On the surface, Valentine’s Day didn’t seem like it would be Ronan’s thing. Adam wasn’t even particularly sure it was his thing. But the fact remained that Valentine’s Day was a week away, and Adam didn’t know what, if anything, he was expected to do for it.

He tried to think back to previous years and remembered receiving an anonymous card from someone back in the seventh grade; a generic heart-shaped thing that simply said ‘Will you be my Valentine? x’ inside. He was fairly certain the sender was a girl in his English class who had never said a word to him but blushed every time she caught his eye. Adam didn’t see how he was supposed to answer whether or not he’d be her Valentine if she never told him she had sent it. And of course, she never owned up, and he didn’t want to suggest it was her in case he was wrong, and he didn’t actually want to be her Valentine anyway. So it was never mentioned again.

The difference here was that Ronan was his actual boyfriend. Didn’t that mean that they were each other’s Valentines by default, then?

Adam didn’t know. He’d never navigated Valentine’s Day before. Not like this.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear Henry and Gansey approach until they were right there.

“Oh, History notes,” Henry exclaimed. “Can I borrow them?”

Adam turned his head to see Henry already sliding the notebook towards him. “Your notes are always make more sense than mi—” Henry cut himself off, eyes widening at something on the page. Too late Adam remembered the VALENTINE’S DAY?? in the margin and slapped his hand over it, snatching back his notebook.

Henry was grinning at him. “Big plans?”

“No,” Adam muttered. “No plans at all.” He stuffed the notebook into his messenger bag.

Gansey had slid into the booth opposite Adam and watched the exchange with raised eyebrows. “What have I missed?”

“Nothing, apparently,” Henry said easily. Adam was grateful that Henry clearly wasn’t going to push it (at least not with an audience), but reasoned he could perhaps use some advice.

“So,” he started. “Valentine’s Day. Thoughts?”

“I’m glad you asked, Parrish,” Gansey said. “It was originally a Western Christian feast day honouring a couple of early saints called Valentinius—”

“Yes, thank you, Captain Wikipedia,” Henry cut in. “I’m not entirely sure that’s what he meant.”

A jug of Iced Tea was plonked onto the table without ceremony and they all looked up to Blue Sargent as she handed out glasses.

“It’s a dumb holiday invented by Hallmark to sell more cards,” she said, obviously having heard the tail-end of the conversation.

“Well, obviously there’s that too,” Gansey said, beaming at her. 

Adam sighed. They were all monumentally unhelpful. 

“Why the interest, Adam?” Blue asked, a knowing glint in her eye.

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I’m just…okay, with Ronan, do I just treat it like any other day? Do I get him a card? Will he think it’s stupid? Do I think it’s stupid?”

There was a short silence as the three of them blinked back at him, and then Blue carefully said, “Do you think it’s stupid?” 

Adam wasn’t sure how to answer that. The truth was that he sort of did think it was stupid, but he also thought he wanted to acknowledge it anyway. He thought doing nothing at all kind of made him look like an asshole.

In the end, it all circled back to Ronan, and whether he would care. Did he have anything planned? Was he having an internal crisis over it as well?

In lieu of an answer, Adam shrugged again.

“Speak of the devil,” Henry said, and nodded towards the entrance.

Ronan, dressed all in black (of course), had just stepped inside. He scanned the restaurant without turning his head but when he spotted Adam, his shoulders relaxed, and he smiled just a little.

Adam didn’t think he’d ever get tired of seeing that.

“Oh god, you two are the worst,” Blue scoffed as Ronan started to make his way over.

“What?” Adam said without looking at her.

“You know exactly what, Adam Parrish. You and Ronan with the googly eyes. Jesus Christ, you’re in public. Tone it down.”

“You tone it down,” Ronan said jovially, hip-checking Blue as he drew level. “What are we talking about?”

“The origins of Valentine’s Day,” Gansey said delicately.

Ronan snorted derisively. “Valentine’s Day,” he said with as much scorn as he could muster, “is capitalistic bullshit invented to sell cards and flowers and chocolate.”

“Hey man, that’s exactly what I said,” Blue said, sounding pleased, and she and Ronan fist-bumped. Adam rolled his eyes. They really were two sides of the same coin.

“You’re in my seat, Cheng,” Ronan said.

“Sit by Gansey, I was here first.”

Ronan shrugged. “Fair’s fair.” He stepped up onto the seat and over Henry and squeezed into the spot between him and Adam.

“Ronan Lynch,” Gansey hissed. “You’ll get us kicked out!”

“Calm down, Dick, no one noticed,” Ronan said. He had both arms stretched out across the back of the booth, and Adam and Henry were both leaning into him a little thanks to the lack of space.

“This is cozy,” Henry said cheerfully.

It was Blue’s turn to roll her eyes and she pulled her little notepad out of her apron pocket. “Alright, I have to actually do my job now, what do you want? Gansey, I’m assuming you want your usual half-avocado monstrosity?”

“You’re a millennial, Blue, you’re supposed to like avocados.”

Her disgusted expression was answer enough. The rest of them rattled off their food order and then Blue went off to put it through.

“Doesn’t anyone want to come and sit by me?” Gansey asked. “It’s lonely over here.”

“Oh, don’t pull that face, Gansey, you’re making me sad,” Henry said, swapping sides. He scooched right the way over to Gansey and draped an arm around his shoulder before sighing loftily. “It’s hard being this popular.”

“But someone has to do it,” Adam said drily, earning him a quicksilver smile.

“And I do it so well.”

Ronan was stopping at Adam’s for the night, but they had each come to Nino’s in their own cars so separated in the parking lot to drive over to St Agnes in a convoy.

Ronan was already peeling out of the lot by the time Adam reached his shitbox, and he was held up further by Henry calling his name. He turned and Henry jogged over, Gansey nowhere to be seen and most likely still inside saying goodbye to Blue.

“Oh, sorry,” Adam said. “You wanted my History notes, right?”

“No, that’s not — well, yeah, actually, thank you,” he said, taking them when Adam handed them over. “I actually came over here to give you some unsolicited advice.”

“About the Valentine’s Day thing?”

“That’s the one.”

Adam shrugged. “It’s not entirely unsolicited. But anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. You heard him.”

“Yeah, I heard him. Sounds like posturing to me.”

Adam tilted his head to the side. “You think?” Ronan certainly was prone to posturing.

“Sure. I mean, I have no doubt that he really does think Valentine’s Day is what he said in there, but I wouldn’t let that put you off doing something, if you wanted to.” Henry waited for a response, and when Adam didn’t offer one, he prompted, “You do want to, don’t you?”

Adam smiled wryly. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only if you know what to look for,” Henry said, but before Adam could think on that too much, he continued. “Look, I don’t know Ronan as well as you do, but even from the outside, it’s clear how he feels about you.”

Feeling himself blush, Adam immediately looked down at the ground. He did know how Ronan felt about him. It was often whispered to him in the middle of the night when it felt like they were the only two people in the world. It just took him off guard to hear it so plainly from someone else.

“Think about it, Adam. Regardless of how Ronan personally feels about what Valentine’s Day stands for, do you really think he’s going to let a day when he’s practically green-lit to be as obnoxious as possible about you just pass him by?” Henry shook his head. “Not the Ronan Lynch I know.”

Well, when it was put that way. “Did he say something to you? Do you know something?”

“Not a thing,” Henry said, and Adam believed him. “It’s just an observation and an educated guess.”

“Huh,” Adam said thoughtfully. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and tossed them in the air, catching them again, ideas already forming in his head. If Ronan was going to be obnoxious, Adam could be obnoxious too. “Thanks, Henry. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t lose my notes.”

“I will try my level best.”

Adam gave himself three rules for Ronan’s Valentine’s gift:

1) It had to be heartfelt.

2) It also had to be in good humour and not take itself too seriously.

3) It had to be cheap.

He was too sensible to spend money he didn’t have on some arbitrary gift Ronan wouldn’t appreciate. Not to mention that Ronan was impossible enough to buy for as it was; firstly he was rich enough to buy himself pretty much anything he might want, and secondly he could literally manifest his dreams. It was going to make future birthdays and Christmas’s an absolute nightmare.

(But what a wonderful problem to have.)

What it all basically meant was that Adam had to go homemade, and given that he had school and work (and Ronan) to work around, he didn’t have a whole lot of time to do it.

He borrowed Gansey’s laptop during lunch-break on Monday at Aglionby and made Ronan a mix-CD of the cheesiest love songs he could think of. It featured such classics as You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates, Heaven by Bryan Adams, True by Spandau Ballet, and many, many more. It wasn’t even remotely Ronan’s kind of music which made it funny, but as embarrassing as some of the songs might have been, they did actually somewhat echo Adam’s own feelings. He got to be a sap in the guise of it being a joke, and Ronan would get a kick out of it.

Obviously, he also added the Murder Squash Song for good measure.

Next up was a card. He could have bought one — his budget would have allowed it — but all the store ones were godawful and Adam couldn’t even imagine giving one of them to Ronan ironically.

Luckily he had an ace up his sleeve.

The first time that Ronan had stayed over at Adam’s after they were together in the very early days of their relationship, Adam had woken up to a frozen Ronan with a handful of strangely lovely flowers, the exact shade of blue as Adam’s eyes.

Adam had kept them in a cheap vase on the windowsill until they died, but unbeknownst to Ronan, he’d also taken one and pressed it to make a little print; his own private memento.

He was obviously keeping the original for himself, but he took it into the school library a couple of days before Valentine’s Day and scanned it, printing it out on some high quality photo card he’d ‘acquired’ from one of the Art rooms.

Once the ink was dry, he folded it down the middle as carefully as possible and put it inside his heaviest textbook to keep it folded and flat until he got it home.

He spent longer than probably necessary trying to decide what to write, but in the end, he went with:

Ronan,

I think maybe it was always you. I think it always will be. Happy Valentine’s Day (gross).

Love, Adam x

He didn’t have a nice envelope to put it in, so it had to go in a bigger manila one that Adam still had lying around. He slipped both the card and the CD inside, and wrote Ronan’s name in capitals on the outside.

He looked at his offering. It somehow didn’t seem enough.

Valentine’s Day was on Thursday, so on Wednesday— after school but before a shift at Boyd’s— Adam found himself in the kitchen of 300 Fox Way. He’d bought everything he needed to make chocolate brownies before he’d realised he didn’t have a tin in which to cook them in. He was also severely lacking in several other kitchen utensils, to be honest. One panicked phone-call to Blue later, and he had everything he needed and a helping hand.

Well, ‘helping’ was a strong word.

“Why brownies?” Blue asked from where she sat perched on the kitchen table.

“Because brownies are the best,” Adam said, frowning at the recipe he had printed out.

“Alright, can’t argue with that,” Blue said reasonably.

Adam was aware of her watching him while he slowly got out everything he needed and started weighing out ingredients. He felt unreasonably nervous about it, even though he knew that provided he followed the recipe, everything would be fine. Baking was a science, after all, and Adam was good at science.

But looking at it all now with Blue scrutinising his every move, he felt flustered and unmoored.

“I thought you were going to help,” he said pointedly.

“I am helping. I’m supervising,” Blue said.

Adam smiled at that. “I see. Are you the kind of supervisor who can grease this tin for me?”

“I suppose so,” Blue said loftily as she launched herself off the table.

Blue started chattering away after that which helped Adam calm down and focus on what he was doing, and it didn’t take long to make the mixture after that. Adam tilted the pan while Blue used a wooden spoon to scrape the mixture out and into the brownie tin.

After that, they just had to put it in the oven and wait.

Blue brewed up some of Maura’s least offensive tea as they sat and waited, and Adam finally asked what he’d been dying to all week.

“Do you know if Ronan has anything planned?”

Blue smiled and shook her head. “Honestly, Adam, I have absolutely no idea. He hasn’t said a word. I’ve barely seen him though, and never really without you there.” She shrugged. “If he’s got a plan he’s keeping it close to his chest.”

Adam nodded; he’d assumed as much. “I just want to know if I’m doing too much, or not doing enough? I dunno, it’s stupid. It’s only Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, but it’s your first Valentine’s Day together,” Blue said, not unkindly. “I get it.”

“What are you and Gansey doing?” 

“I made him a card and found him a couple of ‘slovenly’ t-shirts at the thrift store. I’m gonna hazard a guess that he’s getting me flowers, and he told me to keep the evening free so he’s probably taking me somewhere. Wherever it is, it better not be expensive.”

Adam grinned. “Maybe it’s Nino’s.”

“God, don’t even joke, I’d murder him. Again.”

He started to laugh, and after a couple of seconds Blue joined in. When it died down, Blue put her hand on his arm.

“Don’t overthink it, Adam. Ronan will love whatever you give him, because you’re the one it’s coming from. It’s not about the gifts you get or the meal you have or how much money you spend. I think it’s more about the gesture. That’s what’ll mean the most to Ronan.”

Adam managed a small smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” Blue opened a drawer and gasped, then pulled out a heart-shaped cookie cutter. “Oh my God, Adam, you have to.”

She held out the cookie-cutter towards him and he took it, sighing. “Really?”

“Yes! This way, they’ll all be exactly the same size and I get to eat all the cut-offs. Y’know, as my fee for helping.”

And that’s how Adam ended up with nine perfect little heart-shaped brownies.

Adam didn’t see Ronan that night, thanks to finishing late at Boyd’s and then having homework after. 

When he woke up in the morning, he was hit by the realisation that he and Ronan hadn’t even arranged to see each other that day at all.

He half expected Ronan to show up at St Agnes unannounced with a bouquet of dream flowers and some donuts or something. But that didn’t happen, and Adam slowly packed his messenger bag for school, remembering to include the Tupperware of Valentine’s brownies and the envelope with its enclosed card and CD.

He wasn’t sure when he’d be able to give them to Ronan, but it was better to be prepared.

Adam walked down to his car, scanning the parking lot and the street to see if there was any sign of a shark-nosed BMW. But there was nothing, and there was nothing on the way to school, and Adam made it all the way through to lunch without seeing or hearing from Ronan.

Obviously, he had no phone, and Ronan hated his own phone. But Gansey had a phone, and Ronan could have got in touch that way if he had felt so inclined.

Adam didn’t know what he’d been expecting; that Ronan would show up at the Aglionby gates with a boombox over his head blasting out Lionel Richie songs? That he’d get back to his car after school and find out his favourite hooligan had broken in and left him a giant teddy bear and a box of chocolates?

It all seemed stupid now, and Valentine’s Day was stupid, and Adam was irritated that he’d let the pressures of the day get to him. It didn’t matter. It was a meaningless day.

So why did he feel so deflated?

At the end of the day, he caved and asked to borrow Gansey’s phone.

First, he sent a text that said: it’s adam, i’m about to call you so answer the phone

He gave it a minute until he’d seen that Ronan had read the message, and then pressed the call button.

“Parrish,” Ronan said in lieu of a hello.

All at once, like always, Adam was happy to hear Ronan’s voice. And yet he still couldn’t quite shake his irritation, even though the one who’d got his hopes up was himself.

“Hey,” he replied. “Listen, were you planning on coming over tonight?”

“Nope.” It was a little difficult to tell, but Adam thought Ronan’s tone was just a little off. “You come here.”

Adam sighed. “Ronan, I have school tomorrow so I wouldn’t even be able to stay that late. Can’t you just come here?”

There was a long pause. “Opal wants to see you.”

“So bring her with you.”

“Are you kidding, Parrish, she’s filthy. She’ll mess up the interior.”

The BMW wasn’t exactly spotless inside so this seemed a flimsy excuse. Adam started to wonder whether Ronan even wanted to see him at all.

“If you don’t want to see me today that’s fine,” he said, tone clipped.

“I didn’t say that,” Ronan said, tone just as clipped.

It felt like they were heading for a fight. Adam didn’t want to fight. He wanted to give Ronan the stupid sentimental CD he’d made. He wanted Ronan to make fun of him for the brownies. He wanted a hug.

Adam was abruptly exhausted, and it didn’t matter that he’d gone to the effort and Ronan hadn’t. He just wanted to see him.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m gonna go home and shower but then I’ll head over to you.”

“Okay, good. See you in a bit,” Ronan said, and hung up.

The sun was down by the time Adam pulled up at the Barns. The heating in Adam’s car was dodgy enough on a good today, and today wasn’t a good day. It had barely come on, so his hands were like ice as he got out of the car.

He walked straight in when he got there and made his way to the kitchen. He hovered in the doorway; Ronan’s back was to him, a tea towel strewn over one shoulder, straining pasta over the sink.

Adam rapped his knuckles against the door-frame and Ronan turned around.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Adam replied. “You cooked?”

Ronan shrugged. “It’s just spaghetti.” He gestured to Adam’s messenger bag. “You brought homework with you?”

All that was in the bag was the Valentine’s gifts for Ronan, and he shook his head. “Nope.”

“Okay,” Ronan said with another shrug. “Sit. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Adam pulled himself a chair out, and it scraped against the floor noisily in the otherwise quiet. He waited for Ronan to finish serving up and then asked, “Where’s Opal?”

“No idea. Haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”

Adam took a bite of his food. It was good. “I thought you said she wanted to see me.”

“She always wants to see you,” Ronan said smoothly. “I’m sure she’ll turn up when she spots your car.”

They finished eating in near silence, Adam waiting for Ronan to say something— anything— to acknowledge the day. But he didn’t, and the longer the silence dragged, the harder it seemed to break it.

Adam started towards the sink to do the washing up afterwards, but Ronan stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Just leave it, Parrish.”

“But—”

“Leave them. I’ll do them in the morning.” 

Adam sighed, uncomfortable in the tension. He didn’t know what to do now. Did Ronan just want him to leave? And if so, why had he told him to come in the first place?

“Look, do you know what day it is?” Adam asked, unable to take it any longer.

“It’s Thursday,” Ronan said, chin jutted out, arms crossed. Adam glared; Ronan clearly knew exactly what day it was.

“Okay, great,” Adam said tiredly. He opened his bag and pulled out the Tupperware and the envelope. “Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess.”

He put them on the table and stepped away, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. He watched Ronan’s face, the expression on which had softened immediately. He looked to Adam, stricken.

“Parrish, I—”

“It’s fine, Ronan, just open them.”

Ronan snapped his mouth shut, and pulled the envelope over to him. Adam immediately felt self-conscious about his meagre homemade gifts.

“It’s not much,” he said quickly.

Ronan’s only response to this was a slight furrow in his brow. Then he took the CD out, quirking a smile at Adam’s inscription: LYNCH’S CHEESY LOVE SONG SINGALONG. It was surrounded by lots of hand drawn love-hearts that Adam now thought seemed excessive.

Ronan looked up and raised an eyebrow at Adam, a half-smirk on his face. “No track-list, Parrish?”

“It’s a surprise,” Adam said, smiling weakly, but relieved. “You’ll have to play it to find out.”

“I’ll do that,” he said with a sage nod. He put the CD down and reached for the Tupperware, pulling the lid off and tossing it aside. He looked inside and snorted. “You’ve really stuck with a theme here, huh, Parrish?”

“Hey, Valentine’s Day is all about the hearts, apparently. And to be fair, the heart-shaped brownies are Blue’s fault. She found a cookie-cutter and insisted.”

“She knew about this?” Ronan said.

“Yeah, she helped me make them.”

“That little sneak...” Ronan trailed off and let out a sharp laugh. “I asked her if she knew whether or not you were doing something, and she swore blind she had no idea.”

Adam thought about asking why Ronan had even wanted to know, but instead he pointed at the envelope. “There’s a card in there, as well.”

“In here?” Ronan turned the envelope upside down and the card slipped out into his hand. Adam watched as he took in the flower on the front, smiled a little, then did a double-take, glancing at Adam. “Hold on. Is this what I think it is?”

Adam rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I, uh, I pressed one, before they all died. I wanted to keep it, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Ronan said, something akin to awe in his voice. “I dream about them all the time.” He opened the card and read what Adam had written there, then dropped his face into his hands. 

“Parrish...” he mumbled. “I feel like a fucking asshole.”

Adam went over and gently pulled the card out of Ronan’s hand, sitting down on Ronan’s lap. Ronan’s arms circled his waist automatically and he tucked his face into Adam’s neck.

“You are a fucking asshole, Lynch. I love you anyway.”

Ronan grumbled something incoherently against Adam’s skin, and Adam smiled. “What was that?”

Ronan lifted his head so he could be heard. “I said I love you right back.”

“Good,” Adam said.

“I thought you’d forgotten. And I didn’t...I didn’t want a big deal, and this day is a fucking joke or whatever, but you didn’t mention anything. And I even thought you might borrow Gansey’s phone and like, text me or something this morning? But then you didn’t and when you finally called me you sounded annoyed and I didn’t know why, and I didn’t even think you wanted to come over. So then you finally got here and you seemed mad, and so I was mad and...I’m sorry. I was here thinking you didn’t give a shit and you made stuff for me?” He hung his head, penitent. “I love my gifts. These lame brownies smell great. I’m fucking sorry, Parrish.”

“Hey.” Adam cupped Ronan’s head in his hands. “It’s fine that you didn’t get me anything. Honestly I think I just let this whole day get into my head as having to mean something when it doesn’t. I don’t need a special day to let you know how I feel. And I’m sorry if I seemed mad. I just didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

He leaned in and kissed Ronan briefly. “And Lynch, you cooked for me. You made me a whole meal. I’m pretty sure we’re even.” He kissed him again, until Ronan pulled back and covered Adam’s hands with his own.

“Um...you should come with me,” Ronan said, and he almost sounded sheepish.

They stood up and Ronan swiped the mix CD off the table and shoved it in the pocket of his hoodie, before taking Adam’s hand and leading him out the back door.

Confused but intrigued, Adam followed closely behind, clutching tight to Ronan’s fingers. It was cold outside and neither of them had their coats on, which Adam was about to point out when they walked around the corner of the nearest barn and he was rendered speechless by the sight before him.

In the middle of the grass was a small gazebo tent, the base of which was covered in luxurious looking blankets. There was a laptop in the middle of the floor, hooked up to a projector which was pointing at the outer-wall of the barn. A precarious tower of DVDs was piled up next to the laptop; Adam couldn’t see the titles from here but imagined Ronan had assembled a variety of choices. There was a big thermos, contents unknown (coffee? Hot chocolate?), and various other treats; big bags of marshmallows and Hershey’s Kisses and Reese’s Mini Peanut-Butter Cups.

And everywhere, there was light. Ronan’s twinkling little dream lights, some in jars under the gazebo, others hanging in the air, changing colour, like little fireflies.

“Ronan,” Adam finally managed hoarsely. “What the fuck?”

Ronan smirked. “You thought I hadn’t done anything.”

“Uh, yeah, because you let me think that!” Adam said. He was struggling to process how cosy and romantic it all looked. Let it never be said that Ronan Lynch wasn’t an absolute sap.

“I didn’t let you think anything, you jumped to that conclusion all on your own.”

Adam scowled. “Now I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t,” Ronan said, pressing a kiss to Adam’s temple. “Anyway, this is nothing.”

“It is so far from nothing,” Adam said. He stepped forward and took a turn around, taking everything in as he walked in a slow circle, stopping when he was facing Ronan again. “I thought Valentine’s Day was capitalistic bullshit?”

“Oh, it is,” Ronan said happily. “But for one, I didn’t spend a penny. And two, a whole day where I can spoil you as much as I want to and you don’t get to complain about it? Sign me the fuck up for that.”

Adam burst out laughing. “You’ve just reminded me of something Henry said.”

“What did he say?”

“I told him that I wasn’t sure whether or not you’d do anything because we hadn’t talked about it, and he said, and I quote: ‘do you really think he’s going to let a day when he’s practically green-lit to be as obnoxious as possible about you just pass him by?’”

Ronan was grinning now. “Cheng’s pretty smart.” 

“Yeah,” Adam said. He caught one of the floating lights in his hand and then let it go again. “Just for the record, I think your dreaming abilities give you an unfair advantage when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Excuse you, Parrish, the only thing I dreamt up was the blankets because they’re heated. Oh, and the projector. And the gazebo. But that’s it.”

“‘That’s it’, he says.” Adam rolled his eyes, then accusingly added, “You dreamt up the lights.”

“Well, yeah, but not for this. I already had those. And the food was stuff I already had in the house, and the DVDs are ones I already own. I didn’t want to go overboard.”

Adam stared. “You are ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head. “Come here.”

Ronan went, without question or hesitation, and Adam wrapped his arms around his neck.

“This is the sweetest thing anybody’s ever done for me,” he said softly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Ronan whispered, kissing a line up Adam’s neck and across his face, the tip of his nose, his forehead, “for the brownies, for what you wrote in the card...Jesus, Adam. It’s the same for me. You know that, right? It’s always you.”  

Adam squeezed tighter, feeling dangerously overcome. He breathed in the familiar, comforting smell of Ronan, and then released his grip. “And for the CD, obviously,” he said.

“Of course,” Ronan said, and smiled sharply. “Speaking of...” He pulled it out of his pocket and walked over to his laptop. “I’ll let you pick a movie in a bit, but first, I wanna listen to my present.”

He popped the CD into the drive and pressed a couple of buttons on the mouse, and a moment later the opening track started to play: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston.

Ronan laughed, once, soundlessly, then came back over to Adam and held his hand out. 

“Well?” he said when Adam didn’t move. “Are you dancing?”

Adam grinned. “Are you asking?”

“I’m asking.”

“Then I’m dancing.” He took Ronan’s hand and together they swayed, far too slowly for a song this upbeat, but Ronan didn’t seem to mind, and Adam certainly didn’t.

They didn’t speak while they were dancing, both perhaps a little shaken at the near-miss of an argument, both relieved they hadn’t let it get that far. Both content to be in each other’s company, away from prying eyes and expectations.

It was still early days. They were still learning how to do this, navigating firsts and futures and each other, but they were both quick studies, and Adam couldn’t think of anything more worthwhile than building a foundation— and a life— with Ronan.

There were trickier days to come, but for now, they’d survived their first Valentine’s Day as a couple. As they lay curled together in a blanket watching The Princess Bride projected onto the side of a barn, Adam thought he’d have to mark this one down as a win.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Parrish,” Ronan whispered into Adam’s hair.

“Ugh,” Adam said, and kissed him. “Happy Thursday.”

[visualcommune]

Ari Wil  0:00   Okay, um, could you introduce yourself and maybe say your occupation? Ellysheva Z.  0:04   Sure, you don't mind it on the donut crumbs? So I'm Ellysheva B.Z. and my title at the tenement museum is education specialist for access and food programs. Ari Wil  0:17   Okay, I did see that, that it's an access and food program. So I want to clarify that. What is food programs? Ellysheva Z.  0:23   Food programs, we do two different types of food programs at the tenement museum. We have a food walking tour, and we have a sit down dinner program. It's just another way to talk about immigration migrants and refugees in the neighborhood and the ways that they're doing business and how those groups of people have impacted the lives of Americans. Talking about it through food is something that's very accessible to people in different ways. It's you know, you eat I we all love eating so let's talk about how..what kind of impact kind of food has on us and What kind of food impact impact food has when you go from one place to another. Ari Wil  1:05   So would it be kind of fair to say that you're using food almost synonymous like community? Ellysheva Z.  1:11   Totally. Okay. I think, yeah, building community food helps us build community across disparate communities. So like, I have a favorite food, have you ever favorite food and we can talk about what that means to each other and how we're connected through that. Okay, um, it's just there are lots of ways at the tenement museum that we're trying to get people to make connections. And I'm a big fan of keeping those connections broad, because we can't expect somebody to necessarily from their viewpoint from their ability level to make the connection that like, I have, like similar experiences to immagrants that leave might not always be possible. And there are lots of Ways to try to make that happen. But just the basic level of connection like you like to, I like to eat. Yeah. And that can be enough. And that can be a place where you get to somewhere else. Yeah. The director, Vice President and the president of education, whatever the person who is my grand boss, so the bottom of my boss, the other night said something about how when we are giving tours and when we're talking about these populations, we're not there's no way we can necessarily always change thinking we can make a change, but we can forward the conversation. That sometimes we can get all the way there but knowing that you're making progress in a conversation is just as important. Ari Wil  2:47   Okay, yeah. Um, how long have you had this position? I've had this position since 2013. Six years, I guess. and how old is the position? Ellysheva Z.  2:56   The position I i've been.. I know most of the people who have had this position before me because the accessibility in museums world is very, very small. I think at certain points. This job has been combined with other jobs in different ways. But the museum was founded by two women who wanted to create a museum for everyone. And I actually asked recently, one of the founders, we did an event and I asked her like, hey, I've always theorized that the museum has been so entrenched in accessibility for so long, because between the time we just they discovered the building and the Time magazine was founded, the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed. So I thought, like, Oh, this law was passed. We were like, shoot, we need to get on this. And she said, Yes, partially it but it was also partially that we wanted to make sure in as many ways as we could, that this museum was accessible to as many people as we could. That's cool. It's had different iterations and different times. So I don't think I can necessarily say like, how long this position has been around. I know the person that I had this postion before me, it was half of their job. Whereas for a while it was 100% of my job. And now it's like I'd say 80% of my job. Ari Wil  4:21   Whats the other 20? Ellysheva Z.  4:22   Food Programs. Ari Wil  4:23   Oh, well, no, well, that's still in the in the realm. Okay, what do you think that I'm not what do you think about what typically does it get paired with like,your accessibility and you're..? Ellysheva Z.  4:35   Access and community programs. What I see more often than not and other institutions access and food programs is something I've never seen. Ari Wil  4:42   Okay, well, that's cool. Yeah. And what did you guys coin the thing food program? Like when did that start? Ellysheva Z.  4:48   I think we started two programs around 2012 ? With the guy who was in charge of walking tours, he created an offshoot of a food walking tour and then we created it like a sit down in your version of the And then he left and someone else took over them, they left and I have been working with food programs since maybe around 2012 when they were first brought into the museum, so I have a good background knowledge of them. And I also helped him with kind of like the backend stuff of those programs. So it was just like, you know, this and it's, we can like talk like, we can talk ourselves into a corner that it's accessible. Like, yeah, we can like make the argument, so thats how I got it. Ari Wil  5:29   Okay. I'm sorry. Another question about the program- has it been engaging Ellysheva Z.  5:38   The work or the themselves programs? Ari Wil  5:39   The food programs themselves? Yeah, have they been like effective and engaging? Ellysheva Z.  5:42   Yeah, they've definitely been effective and engaging. People really enjoy them be really like them. We like to get people to kind of talk about themselves and their stories. And I think food programs are one of the easiest ways that that happens because everyone loves to talk about the food that they like the food that they make of the food, their mom or grandma Mom or dad or whoever made so they're engaging in that way. And I think people really like to uncover like, what American food is. And like, we American food is like nothing. Ari Wil  6:13   Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I think people get really excited with that very concrete, like, American food is a mix of everything. There's definitely some challenges with the program of course, but it is really good time. We're talking about challenges sense you guys primarily can only have the guided tour.. what challenges and opportunities because having guided tours? Ellysheva Z.  6:44   So I can start with opportunities. I like starting with the good stuff first. Um, I think one of the greatest opportunities we have in a guided tour and a guided tour format is that we can meet the needs of visitors like face to face so we can As long you know, as long as people tell us in a certain sense, but we can also kind of read a group and think like, oh, okay, so these are your needs, this is how I might adjust your tour for you. And because we have so many different versions of our programs, and sometimes that's just like for school groups or for you know, just different audiences, there are separate things that we can take, like things that are toolboxes really large, because we work with so many different audiences. And we don't really segment audiences so it's not like we have only school group educators who work with schools, okay, they work with school grab, standpoint. So they can also just say, like, Oh, I'm going to grab this Ari Wil  7:49   Resource or strategy? Ellysheva Z.  7:51   That's really great. Um, and it also allows us to like kind of, Like the tools that we have available, an educator a guide can give them to you and let them know you are there. They're available, we get to talk to every single person that comes to the museum, right and try our best to make sure they get what they need to enjoy the experience. And I think that's really, really exciting. It also gives us a chance to like, do verbal description a lot. But I think that's a really good example where like, we encourage educators to use verbal description on all of their tours, but then we all can also specialize towards the focus on verbal description. And so there's just a lot of ways we can mold that format to fit our needs. I think there are a couple of different drawbacks. I think a lot of drawbacks, a lot of drawbacks that I often think of focus on our building itself, because it is not fully wheelchair accessible. It is really small cramped and crowded and there are a lot of people who either That makes it inaccessible to them, or really uncomfortable for them. And so that's really challenging. Our building is really challenging because it is. It's it's been abandoned for so long. It's very delicate, like from a presentation standpoint. Yeah. So there are things we can't do there, which is challenging. But I think with a guided tour, there are people who don't want to listen to a lecture, and that doesn't fit best with like, what they need in a learning environment. And we don't have a lot of opportunities for self directed learning. And that that is really challenging. Ari Wil  9:36   I,okay, that's a really good point to be made. Ellysheva Z.  9:40   Yeah. Ari Wil  9:42   You were, you're talking about educators and how they can like the diverse in the resources they utilize. How do you guys prepare them? There's a it's a it's a pretty intense process. We give to our context, you learn one tour at a time Your first tour, you get a big packet of content, you read it over, you observe people giving the tour twice different people. Hopefully, you get a walkthrough of the tour itself. And then you are evaluated by staff members. For each additional program you learn that process is more or less repeated. We do a lot of observations of other programs, we have a lot of resources. And we also do a lot of training. There's different training I do for accessibility. And then for the way that we kind of see our storytelling method. We call it facilitated "storytelling". And it's about kind of like bringing the visitor into the storytelling process and finding ways to incorporate their knowledge and their participation in the creation of that tour and that story in that moment. So there's a lot of training and a lot of resources and a lot of observations that go into that. Besides the preliminary trainign You guys do like, you've been here for two years heres an update training ? Ellysheva Z.  11:04   sometimes Yeah, we do monthly meetings. And we bring scholars in usually to talk about, we bring in scholars or experts to talk about things that either relevant to the tour content or relevant to the current experience experiences being an immigrant or a refugee, or we do like update trainings where we're like, bringing new things in or thinking about better ways to craft our stories or connect with our visitors. So their monthly trainings And right now, our trainings are mostly within your first year. Outside of those educator meetings, we don't do a lot of trainings for people who have been here too much longer, but I think that's definitely where we can grow in the future. Ari Wil  11:57   Yeah, definitley something note, that potentially. Ellysheva Z.  12:00   Totally. Ari Wil  12:00   Um, well then also back to the building, how you work around physical barriers to access? And then I also want to know more about getting that elevator? I don't think we'll ever get an elevator in 97 orchard street just because there's actually no place to put it. This really interesting thing happened that I don't have any necessarily documentation for but I've heard stories. So in the very beginnings of the museum with that founders, they wanted to acquire the building next door, and they tried to do it through eminent domain. She know about eminent domain? No. Ellysheva Z.  12:42   Ok, I'm going to domain is when an institution usually it's the government says I have a better use when you're building your space your property than you do. And so I am going to acquire it from you by force. It was Yes, it's it's it's how a lot of bridges got built. Its how a lot of streets have gotten like widened for like double lane traffic. Ari Wil  13:05   Yeah, in Boston. That happened all the time. Ellysheva Z.  13:07   Yeah, eminent domain is did I do to my phone? Yeah. So great. Well, cool. Thanks. Um, so they wanted to acquire the building next door whith eminent domain so they could put an elevator kind of like carve out the building next door use.. Ari Wil  13:22   I love neocolonialism, but for access. Like, yeah, definitely, definitely created like bad feelings within the neighborhood towards the tenement museum. There are some neighbors and residents who still remember that and like fucking hate us. Spicy. Ellysheva Z.  13:41   Yeah, totally. So there's that. So there's because because our building doesn't have an elevator because it is like in this preserved state. It was a time capsule from 1935 until the building was discovered by these two founders. So everything Just left as is, which is crazy. But the hallways are really narrow. So we'd have to net wide wide in the hallways and like take out the stairs to put in an elevator, we'd have to get rid of so much historic character of the building that it is literally never going to happen. But every time we've had the chance to put in some sort of elevator technology, we've done it. So when we, the basement became a tour became an exhibit in 2012. And at that point we had we put in a platform lift. So it goes from sidewalk level to basement level. And then because we had to really recreate that space in a way that we've never had to before all the doorways are wide enough, all the hallways are widened. And the same thing with our exhibit that we finished like two years ago, that has an elevator because we kind of redid that whole building and we did put in the doorways and hallways and things that are necessary. There's one door that was alm,ost not wide enough. And I was like so pissed. But it happened and we're fine. Ari Wil  15:06   Nice. Ellysheva Z.  15:08   That was frustrating. So wait, what was the question? Ari Wil  15:12   Oh, yeah. How do you work around barriers like physical barrier? Yeah. Sometimes it's putting in elevators and places where they aren't supposed to go where we can or that they weren't built to go. They're supposed to go wherever we can put them in. The other interesting thing we do is we have a lot of neighborhood tours, neighborhood walking tours, and those follow wheelchair wheelchair accessible routes. So as we expand what we do, we're finding other accessible venues to put those things in. We're also kind of trying to reach into the digital world. We're starting to do starting to experiment with distance learning where you like do a video conference to a classroom somewhere far away and that's a great way to bring accessibility and as well because that can go to students who might not be able to come we also So have a Google expedition, which we worked with WNET, which is the local like PBS, in New York, and they created this 3d, like virtual reality viewer into the tenement museum. So that's a kind of way that we build accessibility. And sometimes it's just like special access. Like, our rooms are narrow and cramped, and all that stuff. So we do early morning or later afternoon tours for visitors on the autism spectrum and their families. Just like if you need to be alone. Great. Let's do it. Tomorrow, I'm doing this like sometimes we just go above and beyond when we can like if somebody needs to, because we also don't allow mobility devices to be carried into the building or people to be carried into the building, just for the surroundings and also for like emergency purposes. Cuz it's a rough situation to be in. But tomorrow, a teacher book to school group, one of their kids had mobility concerns at the beginning of the year. But those progressed into a point where the student is now using a wheelchair. And the tours that they booked are not wheelchair accessible. So I spent a long time on the phone with that teacher. And we created a plan of what the student is going to do. And they figured out how the student might be able to get into the building with a little support from their physical therapist, and I'm going to do a virtual tour with them. And we're going to keep them with their class as much as possible. Yeah, sometimes just taking that time to create an experience where you might not have one otherwise if you didn't take the time. Have you ever gotten like a really intense response when you're not able to meet me? Ellysheva Z.  17:52   Oh, definitely. Definitely. The last time I'm thinking about it, I mean, There was a I did a similar thing with another student whose teacher didn't check in advance to see if the floor was wheelchair accessible. And and she and I were in a room and we did the virtual tour and it was great. And then he realized, like he was little he was like second grade and he realized he wasn't with his friends at one point and started to cry. It's like, I understand, like, yeah. And one time, somebody came in as like a walk up and they wanted an ASL interpreter. They wanted an ASL tour. They actually just wanted to go in and look around. I was like, we don't do that. We can't do that. And they're like, well, these guided tours are discriminatory towards people who use sign language. And I'm like, I totally understand where your perspective comes from. I don't feel that way. But I know... Ari Wil  18:52   But its true, if everyday youre working through the system that's against you. Ellysheva Z.  18:55   Oh, yeah, yeah. Ari Wil  18:56   yeah. Ellysheva Z.  18:57   So it doesn't happen often. But it does happen. Ari Wil  19:01   Were you able to get them an ASL? Ellysheva Z.  19:04   I can't do day of. I need two weeks. I've tried to do in less than two weeks and it's extremely difficult to get an ASL interpreter lesson in less than two weeks. Ari Wil  19:16   You guys have your own on retainer? Ellysheva Z.  19:19   No, We do have a we work with a couple of contractors who do ASL tours, their death and they do the tours themselves. And it's an all in ASL experience. And those are free and they happen once every other month. So there's like things that we're offering. Yeah, but when your needs can't be met, and you were like expecting your needs to be met. That's a really frustrating situation. I totally understood that perspective. And yeah, yeah, there are limits we have that really suck. Yeah. Ari Wil  19:50   Um, alright. I want to talk a little bit about audience. Sure. In your blog post. It's on the tenement museum. Ellysheva Z.  20:09   Oh, cool. Long time ago. Alright. Ari Wil  20:12   Yeah, I think it's from like 2017. Um, you use the word "wide audience" I use the word wide audience to in my research, the aim is to reach a wider audience, right in accessibility work. What's a wider audience? What actually does that mean to you? Ellysheva Z.  20:28   I think whenever I say a wide audience, I'm thinking about people who like identify as having a disability and getting their needs met, and people who don't identify as having a disability but also having accessibility needs and that they're just not categorizing that way. It's kind of like trying to accommodate for as many people as possible. Yeah. And that's from my perspective, in the work that I do, but I know they're definitely ways where we're, you know, we're always trying to bring in people from a wide Audience across the board, like, with background and race and class. And at least from the education department standpoint, that's what we're trying to do. But sometimes kind of, especially with socio economic status, there's a lot that we're trying to do to bring in people for free. But there are things that you know, we can struggle against the people in the museum whose job it is, is to, you know, make the money and like, look at the money. There are things that we're like not doing that we would like to do, but we're like making small steps and like, widening our audience in a lot of different ways. There are a lot of internal efforts that we're doing to broaden and widen our audience, you know, on all different fronts Ari Wil  21:49   To clarify, when you say access, you're including area like marginalized people of everywhere? Ellysheva Z.  21:57   that's more the definition that we're starting to Look at in the tenement Museum, okay, um, we're kind of like the overall umbrella of access. We have like these teams that really haven't met in a while we have a new newish strategic plan. And we were all kind of put into these teams to like, bring forth this change. And so the accessibility team access team was like thinking about people with disabilities, and people speak languages other than English, and people have different socio economic statuses. And so there's there's definitely ways that we're looking at that in a broader sense. I think we're continuing to broaden that all the time. There's definitely work that we want to do. Ari Wil  22:43   Because in my research, I say access and inclusion Yeah, and so now I'm like, I kind of like that I have an inclusion of like, makes the point of like access to the next like, cover all intersectionalities is definitely but having so many "ands" in my research bothers me so I don't know if "access" will be the appropriate thing. I don't know. Ellysheva Z.  23:03   I think, I mean, I don't know a lot about research. But I think if you define what you mean, you define it once, right? It can be whatever you want it to be. Ari Wil  23:12   I love that. Actually, you're right. If I start off just saying what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly. Include. Yeah, good point. Um, well, what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. Okay, well, we're talking about socio economic stuff to, this is kind of just like my, my question that's, like, keeps me up at night. Oh, totally, um, is we can have free admission prices. But can we deal with the cultural barriers that prevent people who are homeless from coming into museums? Yeah, it's tough. I mean, Ellysheva Z.  24:04   I think there are, like when you think about your traditional museum with like, it's like grand architecture and like brick and mortar, I think that can be just so intimidating to people feel like they don't belong there. Don't think there's anything that we're currently doing at the museum that kind of addresses that. But I do know that because of our location in the neighborhood that we're in, and because of we have a visitor center and a bookshop, that's kind of like, open and on the street. And that's like our biggest public face and we have chairs and we have a movie. People will come in and spend time there. Ari Wil  24:54   That's, cool. Ellysheva Z.  24:56   Actually, I was walking home from the subway the other day, and someone stops me Like, I don't, I am making assumptions. I'm saying like, maybe they are homeless. they're experiencing homelessness. But they were like, are you in the movie? In the museum over there? They play a movie and you're in and I'm like, yeah. And she's like, I spend a lot of time in there. I was like this really cool. Thanks for recognizing me. So that definitely I didn't know that people like went in there and just hung out and like.. Ari Wil  25:34   That's really cool. You said that because when another interview I did with someone PS1 MoMA, yeah. also had to say like, no, we're not doing anything to address that issue. But I think that what we could do is increase the amount of dwelling spaces we have. Sure. So we just had casual dwelling spaces, literally anywhere in the museum. I'm sure that people would come in so it's nice to see like now an example of that. Yeah, yeah. Like just Having space to be in can make a difference. Yeah, exactly. Safety is so important to like comfortability and and also access like it. Full Circle. And I know that we define the audience for trying to attract as a  wide audience, right? What is your target audience like, our current audience, your current? Ellysheva Z.  26:03   Yeah, I think there's like there's a lot of we do I think there are people, there's a lot of you know, issues that people are dealing with and in New York City in a city you see a lot of those and we do sometimes get people who I don't know what they're experiencing but they definitely are threatening in various ways at different times. And that can be you know, a struggle for the educators safety and visitors safety and staff safety and so it's definitely something that like looking to positively is like we there's a space for people to hang out and just spend time but also that comes with concerns for sure. So I think it depends on like, what section of audience we're like thinking about when we're talking about like, who is an everyday visitor, we get, like 30% of people from the New York area 30% of people from the tri state area and 30% of people internationally, like a third from each. And I think all of those people have disposable income generally, and all of those people. I mean, not all of those people, I think a large percentage of those people are definitely white. I think we skew older. We have like an older generation that's coming. I think more and more as word spreads. We're getting a more diverse audience in some ways, and not in others because we have we have an expensive ticket and I think that we Don't do a whole lot of free programming. And the free program that we do is very, very targeted. So like, accessibility programming is free. And that really brings in New Yorkers, and generally brings in older New Yorkers with disabilities. And it brings in the museum crowd, the people already feel comfortable in museums, there's like a circuit of them. And people go from museum to Museum, museum Museum, and that's kind of very social interaction. It's it's still like, it's always more diverse than I expect it to be, which is great. But it's still a very small subsection of any other free programming that we do is we do we work with English classes like English learning schools throughout New York, and we offer programming that's free to English language learners. And they come in for specialized programming for English language learners, and that's really great and that has a very Specific like they are all immigrants Yeah. And their immigrants from all over it really depends on what school what class sometimes it's like a lot of people from the same place and sometimes it's a bunch of people from different places. We definitely get a lot of Spanish speakers so Ari Wil  29:17   Do you guys have like translated placards ? Ellysheva Z.  29:21   Nope we don't have any placards anywhere. Um, we do have a guide books in different languages that kind of give you an outline of the tour so people can follow along. But language is definitely one of the accessibility areas that we want to like branch into. And all of the programming that we do this free for English language learners is like at language level, but in English, so we have beginner programs, we have intermediate programs and we have like advanced program and the educators would give those tours have like a little bit more experience in creating good learning experiences for that group. Ari Wil  30:00   Do you think that it's a predominantly white space? because historically? Ellysheva Z.  30:05   I think there's a lot of different things. I think it's I think part of it is cost. I think part of it is the stories that we are currently telling. We're telling a lot of stories about like white Europeans, we're branching into different spaces. And we are like expanding the stories that we tell for sure. We also don't do a lot of advertising. So the way most people find out about it is like by reading the newspaper or seeing something online or hearing about it from a friend. Yeah. Ari Wil  30:36   So it stays in that bubble. Ellysheva Z.  30:39   I think so. Um, but we do get, I think, what we get school students from all over New York, and we get that more diversity through the school audience. Teachers are booking the trips, and they know that it's a place to come because like curriculum In New York and I think the United States you're studying immigration at certain points in time. So like it fits with curriculum. Yeah, to bring them here. Yeah. And so we do get like, a lot of different students that way. And possibly they're going home to their parents and being like, this is really cool. We should come back. But, yeah, okay. Ari Wil  31:21   Interesting. Um, okay. Um, how much do you work across departments? Ellysheva Z.  31:40   So much. I work within the education department a lot. I work with visitor services because they're another front facing staff cool. And there are a lot of things that they offer and that they do because they are the ones who like see the visitors first, so alot with them. I work a fair amount with development. Because they raised the money and so yeah, they raised the money. I work with the curatorial departments sometimes because I'm like, Hey, can we touch this thing? Like just for this one time? Can we touch this thing? And they're like in the education department, because tours are the, like primary ways that visitors like are interacting with the museum. We interact with almost every other department, because its facilities are talking to visitor services. We talked to finance because we spend the money and we don't interact with them a lot. And that's a tough relationship, but HR, because we have a lot of employees. Yeah. Well,  how do you manage that and keep people accountable? Because I'm sure that it's a far reaching thing. Yeah, it's really tough, keeping people accountable. It's like I do have to like, get on people. Like, reminders and check ins and that can be really challenging because things become more important or less important. And some things just fall to the wayside. What I'm working on right now, as we started an inclusion and equity, access and Diversity Council, we put it in that order. So it can spell IDEA because that's like the cheesiest. Ari Wil  33:23   I love that. Ellysheva Z.  33:26   IDEA Council and I requested to be honest, I don't know, I was like, I'm going to do that because it's important. Like, I have seen, like, there's so much more of that work that's coming in through museums and that people are paying attention to more and that's like really great, but I often find that the accessibility part of that like, section gets left out. Like when we're talking about equity inclusion diversity. People will say access or people will not say access, but in many ways it gets like left out. Ari Wil  33:59   Abelism is just rampant though it just seems like something that like really have gone unchecked. It just is so unchecked, Ellysheva Z.  34:06   So ucnhecked. So that makes sense. Yeah. So I was like, I need to be here because I need to make this happen. And they need to make sure it's considered and like really baked in. And it's, it's, it's working, I think there's so many more ways to grow. But one way that we are growing, the project that I'm working on for that Council is to create a baseline and accessibility baseline throughout the museum. So like, these are the standards for creating exhibits, films for creating print material for creating online content, for creating tours for doing events like this is what you need to consider to make it accessible. And this is the level that we're going to get to and then next year, we're going to build then next year, we're going to build this section and next year, we're going to build it and within that plan. What I'm going to make everybody do is write a plan for how they're going to meet baseline for every department. Ari Wil  34:58   Whoa. Cool. Ellysheva Z.  34:59   So we'll see how It goes, it could fail horribly. That's what I'm mostly worried about. But it's a good it's a good try. I'm beginning to think a lot about what happens when I leave. Because I've been there. All total to the tenement museum. I've been there for about 10 years. Yeah. So it's like time to move somewhere else. And it's, so I want to put a lot of things in place to make sure the work that I did and do doesn't just fall apart, Ari Wil  35:27   Ya no, exactly. That's the that's the biggest tragedy and the work that we do and yeah, it's starting these programs, like to no avail. Yeah. So do you think that maybe putting in place like a guideline, like guidelines, would work as the best practice? Ellysheva Z.  35:44   I don't know. Because I found it. I found it really challenging. Okay, here's what I think is the best practice around that is making institutional practice. Make accessibility institutional practice. And like I think that's the goal I'm working towards with these guidelines, it doesn't have to be guidelines or a baseline or whatever else. But making it making it institutional and making it everybody's job, I think is the best practice to making an accessible institution. Ari Wil  36:20   And I know that you said you don't have experiences with other institutions. But do you think smaller institutions can do this work? Ellysheva Z.  36:37   I think they can. Some ways, it's almost easier for smaller institutions to do it. Because it's, it's really from what I see or what I imagine it's really hard to change a big institution. Like it's harder because there's more people and there's more like things that are built in and baked in just with more history, there. So think small institutions, with people who are thinking about these things I think it is possible. I think, you know, it's just that willingness to make those changes. Yeah. And like, some big institutions just has such a like, mind blowing head starts, like, the MET. The Metropolitan Museum market has been doing accessibility programs since the 19teens. Yeah. Ari Wil  37:29   Yeah. Yeah. But how does your institution have been worried about the noise? How does your institution like the big thing, support and inhibit you? Ellysheva Z.  37:42   I think the way it supports me, my institution is that there are a lot of people in this like, my work is visible and people see it happen. And people can like see how that's important to us. And I get to like talk to a lot of people. I think that structure of like a small, a medium museum really does help. I think the way in which the institution itself kind of works against the work that we do is we don't have an endowment. Like we don't have like, a pool of money that we can draw on when times get tough. It's all about fundraising and ticket sales and things like that. And so because we don't have like unlimited funds, and we, we have to a lot of people, me, we have to focus, right, we can't do every thing. And so there are some people who are like, well, we can't, accessibility is expensive. Accessibility is just, we can't do it because it costs too much and it takes too much. And there are people who are not as committed to it because they don't see it in that same kind of way. And I think Not not from any, like, necessarily ableist perspective, or at least like I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt because it's easier to work with people when you're not like, Yeah, um, but there might be thinking about costs, they might be thinking about time, because we have so many people working so hard. And so many things with accessibility are just time consuming and expensive. Yeah, so I think that reality, so just to be like capitalism. Yeah. Yeah, that's really what's against me. It's just like we live in a capitalist society. I think about that alot.  I don't I don't I don't see any way out of it. Like, yeah, yeah. Ari Wil  39:50   Yeah this is where we are. Yeah those damn capitalist. Well, what was I gonna say. That aggressive had not really. took out of it. I get it. Oh, yeah, so I was another panel that was like one of the most important things that you can do for accessibility is just carve out a budget for it like you have to budget for accessibility. Ellysheva Z.  40:13   Yeap. Ari Wil  40:15   I just I just made me think of that. Do you have any thoughts on budgeting? Ellysheva Z.  40:19   I do. I think carving out a budget for accessibility is great. I do I always had a budget for accessibility. I have a separate budget for accessibility outside of education, which is fascinating. And like, I just, I go big. I'm like, I want these things. And they're like, you can't have these things. That sucks. Because sometimes those aren't the things that were like extra, you know, yeah. But this year was the first I think I just kept doing it kept doing it. This is the first year I've gotten everything approved in my budget, which is great. But we're having a tough budget year so I don't know what's gonna end up happening. Yeah. But the other thing is, is I'm trying to get other people to budget for it. And that's hard. Ari Wil  41:08   Really? Ellysheva Z.  41:08   Because like, like, for example is very specific example, we have all these folding stores that are like really handy. And visitors use them for all different kinds of things. I like to keep the ones that are the education departments in the building, because that's where we need the the seats. visitor services likes having some because visitors request seating. So it's like, well, you know, you should get your own that are a different color so we can tell between them and you're not just like constantly, yeah, trying to take my stools. They didn't. They didn't budget for it. And I have no control over their budget you know, process. I'm in my own department and I can check in on everybody else's department. So like budgeting is great, but if you don't have control over it, like. The other thing is, is having my own budget is great. But also, that means people don't have to spend their own budget funding. And because I'm not, like part of a part of the education department, I'm not part of anything higher than that. Like, I'm trying to get more captioning in everything that we do, which is the law. Bare minimum. But, but I was like, I wanted to get us a captioning funds through the IDEA Council, so that when somebody needs something caption, they can go there and take that. No, It didn't happen. But I made myself a captioning budget. I'm not giving it up, because I shouldn't use this word. And it's just like, that can be really frustrating. People are like, oh, but you have that money and you have that budget, so I don't need to do it. Ari Wil  42:58   No exactly that's working. across departments and trying to keep people accountable like this is what? ya know what we're trying to do. Yeah. So challenging... Oh, um there's a question about a chart. The chart Yeah. I was just wondering, you you're, you're, you're a sunny person totally and like a positive human being, um, but is it anything outside of like optimism that has the language of the chart in like, what you guys can do instead of here, all the barriers? Ellysheva Z.  43:49   I, I inherited the chart, and then I just updated it as we went along. So I do think, I think we have a mix on our website. I think the reason the chart is so handy is because there's so much information and like combing through that information is challenging, you know, the chart is helpful, because you can just, Ari Wil  44:13   it's true. Here's where I am, right. It's true. No, that's good. About that wasn't really a question. Ellysheva Z.  44:18   I got you. talking and positives is helpful, what we can do versus what we can't do. But I think it's also very important to be very explicit about what we cannot do. Yes, then that's our new website is really great, because each tour has its own page. And there's a lot of information on the page and I was also able to get this accessibility section where it's like the this store has this this store has this this one has this store has this so that people can see that and then make decisions from there. Ari Wil  44:50   Cool. Okay. Yeah, I think that the best advice I've been given, it's just to be honest, and the more honest you are and the more you communicate.Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then this is looks like it may be my final question. Um, what responses have you got into your work? From patrons from your co workers? And for yourself, like, how do you respond to your work? Ellysheva Z.  45:15   Yeah. Um, let's see, I'm co workers. I have a lot of great co workers within the education department who, who really have kind of taken these perspectives on in their own work. And that's really nice. And different people have different reactions to that. But I've had there's one co worker who ended up leaving and he would text me and say, like, I've been, like thinking about accessibility in this new job that I have, and I feel like I have my voice in your ear, your voice in my ear. But I think I get that a lot like that. Like I was away and we were doing an educator meeting and I've been trying to make those meetings more accessible. We've been using microphones to, like get the sound amplified a little bit more, but I wasn't there. And so at the outset of it, there was no microphone. But one of my colleagues was like, I'm hearing Ellysheva. I think we need a microphone. That's great. That's great. Yeah. And I think I do. And I, like I see that in my department and other departments. And like, you know, there's a lot of young people that work at the museum. And I think that they see the work, they hear the work that I'm doing, they see where or I tell them where I'm having barriers, and they from kind of just like a wider social justice perspective that I think a lot of young people have, they can see like, Oh, this stuff is crucial. And I think that's really important. Patrons are so great. We have repetitive patrons, which is both great and also I'm like, Where are the other people but that's a different story, but some of them like I think one of their to two comments that I love so much and One person said, I didn't know if this museum was for me. But then I saw touch tour and I came on, I touch tour. And I found out that this museum is absolutely for me. Like, that's phenomenal. This one time, we also had a family comd with mother who had low vision her husband and their son. And the son started out, sitting on some chairs, reading a book. And we took out the things that we use to make the museum a more accessible experience. And he put down his book and he came over and touched it. And like he was super into it. And I it was, it was one of the I don't remember exactly where it was in the like chronology of touch tours, but at the end, I asked for an email feedback. Like if you like this, please email me please call me and tell me about it because that's how we continue this. And this like, literally 10 year old boy came up to me was like, I would like your business card so that I can send you an email about how I like  this tour. And it was the cutest email and the thing he said that I think for him was probably a throwaway line, but for me was like everything was this was something I could do together with my family. Like it was about, he was connected to the families we were talking about, but also connecting to the fact that it was something that they could all do together. Yeah. So like, there's so many, like, there's so many moments of that, where, like, people just thank me for the experience that I'm helping to provide to them. Yeah, seeing it, like something that's really exciting and really helpful and really wonderful. And that's just great. Um, I think what it has done for me, um, the reactions that I had to my work is I mean, like, sometimes it's tiring, and sometimes it's hard. But I have always really wanted to do something that was social justice related. I didn't know that when I was a kid, it was just like, I want to, quote unquote, help people. Yeah. But I think social justice is a different way to do that. And I don't know if I am doing this work has made me see myself as somebody isn't just like working on a one to one. But seeing like, there are things that I can do to actively change society for the better, even if it is on a smaller scale. Like it's definitely plugged me into, to a cause that I am passionate about, to a different way of seeing the world to like a different perspective and something that I'm really excited to do for hopefully the rest of my life. Ari Wil  49:46   That just reminded me that I totally didn't mention that you're a part of the museum access consortium. Ellysheva Z.  49:56   Just Just because I would probably get in trouble if I didn't say that. We are Now the museum arts and culture access Consortium, because we have like zoos and Botanic Gardens and theaters that are part of the consortium, doing it all over the place. Ari Wil  50:13   But, um, I don't know if there's anything you want to say about that, or any last thoughts, kind of just wrap it up? Ellysheva Z.  50:24   I like that a lot. I really do. It's a wonderful way to connect with colleagues, and to like, try to further this work outside of the work that I'm doing. But it's all volunteer, and that's really hard. Ari Wil  50:42   What do you mean? Ellysheva Z.  50:43   I don't get paid for that. Ari Wil  50:44   You don't get paid for that? Ellysheva Z.  50:45   Oh, yeah. like nobody, almost nobody gets paid for that only the people that are working to like, we have a big grant project and we have a couple of people who get paid to do that. Otherwise, we're all volunteer. Ari Wil  51:00   So then what is the grant money going toward? Ellysheva Z.  51:03   money is going towards our supporting transitions project. We are we've done supporting transitions for a while. And it's been working with individuals on the autism spectrum and with developmental disabilities. And at first it was to create like museum programming for them. But really one of the biggest issues that that community is facing is getting jobs. And so screen transitions is a program that is now working to create and like support, paid internships within the cultural accessibility world for individuals on the autism spectrum or with developmental disabilities. So they're getting paid to like, find those internships and you know, train those students and Ari Wil  51:53   know that network. Ellysheva Z.  51:53   Yes. And we are paying the students, individuals so like money through, like, give us money so that we can give somebody else money. Ari Wil  52:04   Wow. Okay, that's really cool. It's very it's really cool. Ellysheva Z.  52:08   Great sporting tradition is a fantastic program and I would love to bring into the tenement Museum, but I don't know if we're there yet. Ari Wil  52:16   Who is there though? Like, who would you like who would you give this to. Ellysheva Z.  52:21   I mean, the thing is, I don't want it like I want it to be not my work. Because there's so much I'm doing already that I don't necessarily I'm not exactly sure where I would what what tasks that intern to and having an intern is a lot of work, honestly. Like think of a project for them and I and so I wanted somebody else to bring somebody in to do but it might just have to be me that might be something that I'm gonna Look at it like the second half of the year. I really want to lots of things that I want to do another one of our idea council projects that's not mine is inclusive hiring. And I think this could be a step in that project. Ari Wil  53:22   Oh,yeah. No, pass it over there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Unknown Speaker  53:34   I don't think so either. Unknown Speaker  53:38   Let's double check. Ari Wil  53:39   Yeah, double check. Take your time. Unknown Speaker  53:46   I think I feel good. I'm Yes. Okay.