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sittingbesideyoulikeasilhouette · 1 year

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Make Things Even

Pairings: Dean x plus size reader

Synopsis: you and Dean had a love hate relationship but what happens when you sneak lust into the equation? What happens when Dean accidentally walks in on you playing with yourself?

Author’s note: I wrote this in 3 hours on my phone instead of going to bed. This is my first SPN fic, please tell me what you think!!! P.S Sammy is the sweetest lil wingman in this lol

You slowly blinked your eyes open and turned to see 10:04 staring back at you on your alarm clock. You stretched out your limbs and your muscles ached in protest - clearing out that vamp nest with the boys a couple of days ago really pushed you to your limits so you all christened today “rest day.” The boys could tell how worn out you were and Sam had been talking non-stop about going to the movies so today you were all officially unplugged and forbidden from going on or looking for cases.

You got up, put on your slippers, and followed the smell of bacon to the kitchen.

“Morning princess,” Dean called out from his place at the table, setting his cup of coffee down and peering up at you. You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“If anything, I’m a goddess.” You made your way to Sam who was offering you a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

“Here you go, Goddess,” Sam jokingly said putting the plate in your hands. You smiled and Dean rolled his eyes before going back to eating his breakfast.

As you went to sit at the table, the spot opposite to Dean, you saw him sneak a peak at you. You were sporting some tight, short, velvety black shorts and a tank top and Dean made sure to stare a bit too long at both your ass and your tits before pretending he didn’t spare you a second glance. You knew Dean loved sex but you also knew he sought out sex with thin women and you.. well, you were not. You’d grown somewhat comfortable with your body over the years and you weren’t scared of wearing tight clothing anymore but you’d heard Dean say a few offhanded fat jokes so you knew the chance of you two ever having anything was null. And, you were okay with that, really, because even though Dean was the most attractive man you’d ever laid your eyes on you also realized you’d never be fully comfortable with him to have sex. So, you decided that not giving a shit about what you wore around the bunker was the way to go and even though sometimes he’d look at you like he wanted nothing more than to have his way with you, he’d always grab his keys, say goodbye with a “don’t wait up,” and come back with one or two small hickeys on his neck that no doubt a petit brunette gave him.

“Something caught your eye?” You asked Dean with a cheeky smile and he spared a second glance at your tits before looking back up at your face.

“Nope.”

“You sure?” You asked again, looking up at him from under your lashes and making sure your tits bounced a bit as you reached for the syrup. Again, he looked down at your tits but this time you swore there was a slight sparkle in his eye. You knew you’d never have sex with the man but that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy torturing him a bit. When he looked back up at you he knew you’d caught him staring so he awkwardly coughed and grabbed his fork.

“Uh yeah, yes. Yes, I’m sure,” he put a piece of bacon into his mouth and you decided to give the guy a break.

“Thank you for breakfast Sam,” You called out to him as he made his way to sit next to Dean.

“No problem, I figured I’d be up before either of you anyway. You two are so similar honestly - you both love sleeping in and are cranky without breakfast. I can expect little scowls every morning before either of you are fed.”

“I don’t scowl,” You and Dean said in unison while scowling at Sam.

“Uh huh, like I said,” Sam laughed and started eating his breakfast. You looked at the boys eating and suddenly got a bit self conscious; they were both well over 6 feet tall and muscular meanwhile you were a chubby and soft 5’7 eating the same breakfast they both were. You knew Sam meant nothing by serving you all the same portions, in fact you loved that he never called any attention or made any distinctions based on your weight, but it didn’t stop your brain from overthinking.

“Everything okay? Are you not hungry?” Sam asked you with a concerned tone. You were about to answer when Dean responded instead.

“Of course she’s hungry.” He said it offhandedly while reading the paper, he probably didn’t even realize what he said or how it sounded but it sent your brain into overdrive and you wanted more than to not be there at all. Sam quickly looked over at Dean, knowing exactly what it sounded like, and you could tell he was about to tell him off but you cut in instead.

“I’m just tired, I think I’ll head back to my room to rest.” You pushed your plate forward. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Dean put the paper down and look up at you.

“But you just woke up?” Dean called out to your retreating form as you made your way across the kitchen. His voice sounded confused and also.. sad?

“I’m going to rest just after waking up kind of like how you keep drinking after downing 7 beers. Not everything makes sense, Dean, it just is,” you called back and you didn’t realize quite how harsh you sounded until you’d already made your way out of the kitchen. Whatever, Dean had thick skin and he’d get over it; you’d get over it too.

* * *

A couple hours later a small knock startled you out of the book you were reading.

“Come in,” You called from your comfortable spot in bed and you looked up to see light, sandy brown hair and a pair of beautiful green eyes peering at you from behind the door. Dean hesitated there before finally taking a couple steps inside your room.

“How’s your book?” Dean making small talk? Sam must have put the fear of God in him.

“You came in here to talk about my book?”

“No, I came here to apologize,” he said, looking at the floor with his hands in his pocket. He looked nervous and a little helpless.

“It’s fine Dean.”

“No it’s not,” he scratched the back of his neck and looked everywhere except at you, “I was a complete ass back there and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it came out I swear, it’s just Sam and I are always starving after a hard case and I know the vamps were rough so I just meant you were hungry because duh you took down like 6 vamps but then I realized that it sounded like I was talking about you and your body and I would never talk about you like that. Your body is fucking perfect and I opened my mouth and just made a fucking mess. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” Dean finished his apologetic rant but one thing kept ringing in your ears. Your body is fucking perfect.

“You can apologize but you don’t have to lie Dean.”

“I didn’t lie,” he said defensively and finally looked at you. You don’t know why but that just pissed you off even more.

“My body is fucking perfect? C’mon, seriously? it’s probably only just tolerable by your standards,” you shot back and saw his face etched into perfect confusion.

“What? What the fuck are you talking about? Tolerable? I know you caught me staring at you earlier, so you know that’s not true”

“Yes fine I have big tits and some ass but I’m still fat”

“Who gives a fuck?” He nearly shouted at you. This conversation was equally confusing and infuriating you. When the hell did Dean Winchester decide he was attracted to bigger women?

“I don’t but you do.” You held your ground.

“What are you talking about?” You could tell he was aggravated too.

“Dean, when is the last time you fucked someone who wasn’t a size zero?”

“I haven’t yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to” he responded without skipping a beat. You both stared at each other and you refused to be the first one to break eye contact. Dean gave you an easy out and dropped his gaze down to your body. God, you swear the room went up 20 degrees. Dean Winchester was lusting after you, a size 16? Absolutely not, it couldn’t be. Just as Dean made eye contact with you again Sam came excitedly barging in.

“Okay the movie starts at 4 and it’s 1:12 right now. The movie theater is like 30 minutes away but we should account for traffic and snack time so we should leave at 3, sounds good, right?” Sam looked at you and Dean with a smile on his face, completely oblivious to the situation he’d just diffused.

“Yes Sam, sounds good,” Dean answered in a clipped tone and pat his brother on the shoulder before turning around and walking out of your room. You saw Sam mutter a small ow and clutch his shoulder before he looked over at you.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come with us?”

“A French film? No thanks Sammy, I’d rather stay here and read a book or watch trashy American TV,” you giggled holding up your book.

“Okay okay, we’ll bring you back some popcorn, promise” he said turning around to leave.

“Hey, does Dean know it’s a French film?” You’re surprised Dean would ever agree to that.

“He better, I talked to him about it for like an hour,” Sam said as he shut your door. Now that you were alone you actually had time to think about everything that happened in the last 10 minutes. Dean was attracted to bigger women? Dean was attracted to you? You felt like your entire world had shifted and you had no idea which way was up. You didn’t know if this meant that you and Dean would ever become anything but now that you knew your feelings could be requited, there was at least a possibility and that intrigued you and terrified you all at once.

* * *

The beginning of the end came at 2:50.

“Hey I looked it up on the theater’s website and for sure there will be subtitles” Sam confirmed as he made sure he had his phone and wallet in his front right jacket pocket. Dean, who had been previously looking for his keys, immediately stopped and looked at his brother.

“Subtitles, Sam?”

“Yes Dean subtitles. I told you this was a French movie.”

“French? Like a French movie?” Dean asked with a hopeful smile.

“No Dean not a French movie, it’s just a French movie. C’mon dude I talked to you about it for like an hour.”

“Sammy I don’t feel good,” Dean said grabbing his stomach.

“No, you’re not flaking out on me right now. We’re leaving Dean.” Sam said sternly pointing to the door.

“C’mon man, I’m not sitting through a 2 hour French movie that doesn’t even have any porn.”

“You suck man, the worst,” Sam called out to his brother as he grabbed the keys and made his way to the garage.

“Leaving now, bye!” Sam called out after he’d made his way to the top of the stairs and heard your faint little bye in response. He couldn’t see Dean anymore and figured he’d gone to his room to listen to some music. He smiled knowing full well he’d actually told Dean they were going to watch an action movie and telling you they were watching a French film but deciding that what you two need was some quality time to resolve all the tension that had been building over the past few months.

Your little argument with Dean had put you in a mood but you were also .. turned on? You were, decidedly, very confused and your best option was going to take a cold shower. Yes, that’ll help you told yourself as you grabbed your towel and made your way to the bathroom.

While you were in the shower you couldn’t stop thinking about all the new possibilities. Was Dean going to openly check you out now or was he actually going to act on it? Did you even want him to? Oh, who were you kidding, you’d been fantasizing over that man’s fingers and cock being inside of you for months and now that there was a small chance, you felt your body come alive. This shower was supposed to help take your mind off Dean but you hadn’t had sex or touched yourself in months so you decided the best thing to actually clear your mind was making yourself cum. You had the bunker to yourself, right? You could make an hour of it and play with your candles and your vibrating dildo. You were always pretty loud but now there was no reason to be quiet so you made up your mind, shaved everything, and quickly finished showering.

Unbeknownst to you, Dean was 3 doors down to the left, in his room with his head phones on full blast, trying to take a nap. He thought about going back in your room to talk but decided against it. It seemed like you really thought he was turned off by your body and that rubbed him the wrong way. He was pissed off at himself for every making you feel that way and he knows he’s probably made some stupid offhanded comments about weight or size but he’d never ever talked about you. He realizes now the impact of his words on you would be the same regardless of who he was talking about and he truly wishes he could take it all back and start again but he couldn’t and now you were probably still in your room reading your little book and hating his guts.

You skipped over to your room, which was only one door and across the hall on the right, and were about to close the door decided against it. No one is here, why should I close the door?

You decided to let that play into your little voyeurism kink, even though there was no one here to see you, and walked over to your nightstand from which you pulled out a lighter, your dark purple candle, and your 5 inch flesh colored vibrating dildo. You turned it on briefly to make sure it was charged then you set everything on your nightstand and dropped your towel.

You considered turning on some porn on your laptop but decided against it. You were already turned on and fantasizing about Dean would be more than enough.

You laid on your back and the chill of the air came in contact with your warm skin causing you to shiver. You closed your eyes and put your right index and middle fingers in your mouth, you started slow but then you imagined it was Dean’s fingers instead and he wanted to see how well you’d be able to take him so you put your fingers deeper into your mouth and made sure to coat them in spit. You slowly made your way down your chest and then you took your right nipple between your slick fingers and began twisting it. You couldn’t help but moan out loud, imagining it was Dean’s fingers instead of yours. You had only just started playing with yourself but you were already so fucking wet, maybe a minute more and you’ll start dripping on your covers. Knowing how wet you were just imagining Dean made you let go of your right nipple to start playing with your left.

“Oh fuck yes” you moaned out loud and felt yourself dripping down your thighs. God you weren’t a fucking teenager anymore, you were 27 years old, but you knew you weren’t going to last very long. You let go of your nipple and turned over to grab your candle. It was dark purple with sparkles and you knew when the wax hardened, it would look like little galaxies were all over your body. You lit the candle and closed your eyes. You partially liked wax play because of the surprise of the hot wax splattering on your body so you imagined Dean was holding the candle over you saying if you wanted him to make you cum then you’d be a good girl for him while he painted your body. The first blob of wax hit your right upper rib age near your tit and it felt exhilarating. You let out a loud and languid moan as you felt the wax hit your skin then quickly harden you slowly moved the candle a bit more up and center until you felt the next bit of wax fall onto your sternum. “Fuck, yes. Oh fuck, thank you,” you moaned with your eyes closed and the Dean in your mind smirked and called you a good girl for thanking him. You kept moving the candle around your torso and your thighs with your eyes closed and moaning at all the utter ecstasy. You were soaked and teasing yourself, working yourself up until you couldn’t take it anymore; you weren’t going to stop until you felt like you had to stuff yourself with your dildo.

Meanwhile, Dean was still in his bedroom with no idea of what you were imagining him doing to you just a few doors down. He couldn’t fall asleep so just as he decided to change the CDs in his Walkman, he took his earphones off and faintly heard your voice. He looked at his closed door waiting to hear you again. Did you call out to him? Probably not, you were pissed and the undefeated champ of holding a grudge so he knew you wouldn’t be talking to him for a few days at lea—

“Oh fuck, oh fuck”

Okay that was definitely your voice, loud and clear. And it kind of sounded like you were in pain? He wasn’t sure but he wasn’t taking any chances. He jumped up from his bed, grabbed his handgun, and slowly and quietly opened his door. He started making his way down the hallway to your room. Your door was open so all he had to do was aim and then he’d be able to kill whatever was harming you. Dean briefly leaned by your door frame, gun raised and ready, then he turned to look in your room and —

“Oh yes, right there oh fuck” You moaned loudly. Your right index and middle fingers were fingering your pussy and your hand and covers looked soaked. The way you had both of your feet for purchase on the bed and your knees open and bent perfectly framed the scene as you quickly fucked yourself with your fingers. Dean dropped his arm, gun in hand, but he couldn’t look away. He knows he should leave and pretend he never saw this, but he was mesmerized. Your skin was painted purple and in that moment he swore that became his new favorite color. He could hear the wetness of your pussy clenching around your fingers and very quickly felt his jeans were too tight.

You blindly started searching for something on the bed and when Dean saw you grab a dildo that looked very similar to himself, albeit a couple of inches shorter, he couldn’t help but imagine he was about to fuck you and he nearly moaned.

“Oh fuck, I’m not going to last long” you moaned and the Dean in your mind only looked at you and smirked, telling you you’d take whatever he gave you while the actual Dean looked down and saw himself tenting in his jeans. He should leave, he thought, but when you lined up the dildo with your hole and practically shouted out how fucking good it felt to finally be filled as you stretched yourself out, he knew there was no earthly or godly force that could take him out of that room. The slick sounds of you fucking yourself hard and fast coupled with the loud and dirty moans falling from your lips were making Dean dizzy. He lightly palmed himself over his jeans for slight relief but then you turned on the vibration and the way your moans got higher and airier, he knew you’d be cumming soon and his cock only stiffened in his pants.

“I’m gonna cum, oh fuck I’m gonna cum,” you called out and Dean swears his brain stopped functioning for a second. All he could see, hear, or think about was you. Your face slightly scrunched as you came and your moans were nothing short of pornographic. Porn was now ruined, Dean knew that you were the only thing that could ever satisfy his desires now. You slowly stopped fucking yourself with the dildo, turned off the vibrator, and threw it on your bed. You looked completely and utterly relaxed. Your breathing was quick, there was a slight sheen of sweat mingled with purple all over your body, and your chest was falling up and down up and down but you looked pretty? No that didn’t do the scene before him justice, you were “beautiful”

Your eyes sprung open the second you heard the word. You saw Dean standing there and you screamed while grabbing at anything and everything to cover yourself.

“No, no I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Dean yelled as he ran out of your room and into his. He quickly locked the door and ran to his bed while you ran up from your bed to lock your door. Your reprieve from all the madness was very short lived when you discovered you weren’t alone. You wanted to be mad that Dean was there and you almost allowed yourself to be self conscious about your body but you recall seeing the large tent in Dean’s pants and decided against it. Who knows how long he’d been watching you for, it doesn’t matter, because he was massively turned on regardless. You were filled with a confidence you’d never known before so you grabbed your black robe, tied it around your body, fully covering yourself and made your way to Dean’s room.

Your loud knock made Dean jump in his bed, he was trying to think how he was going to apologize himself out of this one but now you were at his door and you were probably going to kick his ass all while he still had a boner. Fuck.

“I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry” he yelled hoping that was enough to deter you for now but you kept incessantly knocking.

“Open the door Dean.”

“Can we please please talk later. Later, I promise” no woman had ever terrified or turned him on like you did. Here he was suffering the consequences of his actions while he was the most turned on he’s ever been in his life.

“Open the door, right now Dean Winchester.”

Dean was getting up to obey your order before he even realized what he was doing. He unlocked his door, ran back to his bed, and grabbed a pillow to cover his cock. You heard the click of the door unlocking and then a small shuffle. You opened the door and saw Dean sitting on his bed with a pillow covering his massive erection. When Dean saw you in that robe, imagining you were still naked underneath, he felt his cock throb and had to look away. You walked into the room like you owned it and closed the door. You walked over to Dean’s desk and sat at the comfy chair he had there.

“I’m so sorr—”

“Stop apologizing Dean. Get up,” You ordered and you saw Dean struggle with staying seated or obeying you.

“Why?” He questioned in a small voice. Here was a 6’3 hunter who was scared of nothing, looking terrified of you.

“Because we’re going to make things even”

“What do you mean? Uh I don’t think -” he began but you cut him off.

“I’m not telling you to think, I’m telling you to obey. Now get up.” You stared into his beautiful green eyes and he knew better than to test you.

“Now. As I said, we’re going to make things even. I’m going to walk you through getting undressed and then you’re going to touch yourself until you make a mess all over yourself. Got it?”

Dean immediately stood up straight and knew he would do everything and anything you asked of him.

“Yes ma’am”

“No that’s no way of addressing me. Do better.” You saw Dean’s eyes slightly glaze with what you could only describe as submission and desire.

“Yes Goddess.”

Who wants part 2?!?!?? Leave a comment if you do pleaseeeeeee <3

#dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester smut #supernatural #supernatural fic #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester fic #sam winchester

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mirkwoodshewolf · 1 year

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Creepy crawlies; Jack Kline x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay so this is a cute little drabble/small fic requested to me just recently by an anon who wanted some Jack Kline fluff. Took me two days but I came to this idea in the end so I hope you enjoy it anon as well as the rest of my lovely readers.

Warnings: Fluff, bugs, mentions of SPN episode 1x08 BUGS (that episode STILL gives me the heebie-jeebies).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@queensdivas

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

_________________________________________________________

It was that time of year, well the first time we ever had to deal with something like this. And of course Sam and Dean had to bail out on a ‘case’ but I knew my brothers just wanted to get out of doing the one thing that everyone does.

Spring cleaning.

Ever since we found the Bunker and decided to make it our permanent home, this place needed a serious scrub down and clean up. Cobwebs, dust, new bed sheets, incense (mainly for me) to be put up to get rid of the ancient smell. So every spring, I try to ensure that this bunker doesn’t end up like it was when we first found it.

Of course that means my brothers always try to get out of it (mainly Dean I just think Sam prefers to do the minor cleaning instead of what I have in mind). And Cass…..well he chooses to go up to heaven every time I say it’s time clean up the bunker. The only person kind enough to help out around here is my beau Jack.

Using my powers, the bookshelf glowed blue and I lifted it up allowing Jack to vacuum underneath it while I brought in a swifer to swipe off each and every book from any dust bunnies.

“I don’t see why my brothers and Cas always try to bail out on Spring cleaning. I’m the one doing the heavy lifting.”

“I’ve noticed a trend that most people don’t enjoy spring cleaning because it’s so boring to do. That unlike normal cleaning, there’s an expectation for things to be so clean, that you’re supposed to see yourself in the floor. Which I don’t get.” Jack told me as he continued his vacuuming.

“I maybe a neat freak but I’m not Danny Tanner level of tidiness. All I want is to make sure we don’t neglect this place and end up in a dust field again. Seriously Jack you cannot begin to understand just how quickly my allergies began to act up when the guys and I first found this place. Bedridden for over a week, and that was before I got these powers.”

“I’m sorry baby. Had I been born yet, I would’ve stayed at your side to take care of you.”

“And that’s why I love you soo much Jackie-bear. You’re too sweet.” After dusting off the last book and once Jack was done vacuuming, he moved out of the way and I set the bookshelf back in it’s place. I turned and with a snap of my fingers and all the books, notes, files and even Dean’s plates he had left since breakfast all raised up into the air and went to their original places.

“You’re like Mary Poppins.” He said with a smile.

“Well if I am, then that makes you my Burt. Come on, let’s head for the kitchen. Lord knows Dean forgot to do the dishes, again.” He followed behind me and right as we got to the kitchen, there I saw dishes upon dishes stacked in the sink, frying pans still on the oven covered in left over eggs and grease. “That man never learns.”

“Why does he leave his dishes out like that?”

“Cause he’s lazy. Do you mind stacking the dishwasher while I deal with the grease pans and the oven?”

“Not at all baby.” I pecked his cheek while I walked over and wish a twist of my wrist, the frying pans lifted off the oven while the cleaning supplies came out from the top shelf cabinet on the island counter.

While the spray bottle filled with Clorox bleach squirted out a few good sprays and the rag did a throughout wipe down, I focused my attention on cleaning the frying pans of the oils and grease from the bacon and sausages Dean had made for breakfast and tossed the leftover egg crumbs into the trash.

“Do you know when the last time Sam took the trash out?” I asked Jack.

“I believe I saw him collect all the trash last night.”

“Well at least he can keep up with the chores. I swear maybe I could use these powers to control Dean and make him scrub all the toilets in this bunker.”

“As funny as that would be to see, I know you’d never use your powers against your brothers.” He said as he dried off one of my good cups with a towel and set it alongside the rack we had for the special dishware.

“Yeah, yeah. But for real, he should at least have the decency to at least rinse off his pans after breakfast. Grease that sits out for too long stains these types of pans, and it’s a hassle to clean up later.”

“I believe you (Y/n).”

“But at least I’m getting it done, otherwise it’d never—” I paused mid-sentence as my body completely froze. My heart raced and my eyes widened as I stared directly at it. It’s many legs all splayed out making it look like a living dust bunny on pointy legs.

The pots and cleaning supplies fell to the ground with a loud bang and I let out a scream and levitated myself into the air trying to get as far away from the little demon as possible.

“What?! What is it (Y/n)? Are you okay!?”

“Kill it quick!” I yelled at Jack.

“Kill what? Where is it? Is it a demon?”

“Yes now quickly before it gets away!”

“Where is it?”

“Over there!” Jack’s eyes soon glowed and he turned to where I was pointing but as he raised his hand, his eyes went back to normal color as he looked around confused.

“Where did you say it was?”

“What are you blind babe!? I told you over there on top of the oven! Kill it with your powers! Torch it! Torture it I don’t care just get rid of it!” he looked around until he seemed to have found what it was. He walked closer to it and he reached out his finger toward it.

“You mean this? But it looks like a dust bunny or a…..” but quickly it began to move and I let out another scream as I shot myself against the corner of the kitchen.

“Don’t touch it! Those bastards are fast now kill it hurry!”

“What is it exactly?” he asked me.

“A house centipede! Jack I’m not playing anymore please just kill it hurry!” I watched as the demonic centipede stopped crawling and was now just short of reaching a hiding spot behind the fridge. Jack looked between me and the house centipede and a smile came across his face before he started to laugh.

He was laughing. My own boyfriend was laughing at my own misery!?

“Jack Kline stop laughing!” I demanded.

“I’m sorry. Really I am but…..(Y/n), you have fought against real demons, archangels, werewolves, vampires, even my own grandfather. And you’re terrified of a tiny little thing like him?”

“Tiny? Tiny!? Do you see the legs on that monstrosity!? Now for the last time get rid of it before it touches me!”

“Okay, okay.” He went over to grab a cup as well as paper towel.

“What are you doing?!” I hissed.

“Getting rid of it like you asked.”

“Not like that! You can’t show mercy to those little bastards! Use your powers and kill the son of a bitch!” I hissed quietly.

“But you told me that all living creatures deserve a chance at life, didn’t you?” I groaned.

“Well yes but that doesn’t include bugs, arachnids, snakes, or any other kind of creepy crawlies!” Jack rolled his eyes and successfully captured the house centipede and he left the kitchen with it between the cup and paper towel.

A few minutes later he came back and he told me it was gone.

“You sure?”

“Yes, yes, I even took him away from the bunker before releasing him. Now can you please come down?” I let out a soft whimper but lowered myself back to the ground. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me in a hug, allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder. “I still can’t believe you’re scared of bugs. How did I not know of this?”

“Don’t mock me! Besides you weren’t even there when it happened.” I shuddered remembering that day all too well.

“When what happened?” I took in a shaky breath before telling him.

“A long time ago, long before we knew that angels and God were even real, my brothers and I took a case in some realtor development spot. A neighborhood was being built on sacred Native American grounds. Workers were being picked off one by one, at first we thought it was ghostly activity but it was far worse. The entire place was cursed, and the curse was affecting all the insects in the town. By night fall, a swarm of bees had surrounded the family that was responsible for building the neighborhood over the sacred lands. I—I had never seen so many bees in my life. We had no way of escaping, we were completely trapped and had to last the rest of the night being stung and swarmed by bees. Ever since that day, I even see the shape of an insect and I just go back to that day. A defenseless, frightened child being stung and swarmed by bees and no way of escaping.”

Jack listened intently at every word I had to say. For months after that day, I had continuous nightmares of what happened. Even dreamt that it was other bugs attacking me from wasps, locusts, even spiders and ants. Ever since then I’ve been absolutely terrified of any and every bug in the world.

“Wow, I—I had no idea. I’m so sorry that happened to you. And I’m sorry for teasing you about it. I promise I won’t ever bring it up again.”

“Thanks Jackie-babe.”

“Anything I can do to help you?”

“I could go for some ice cream with chocolate syrup and some cuddles on the couch while we watch the Princess Bride.”

“As you wish.” He said quoting the movie before giving me a peck on the nose. I left the kitchen and brought out the blankets and changed my clothes to my comfy pjs while searching for the movie on one of the many streaming services we got.

When Jack came back with my ice cream, we cuddled up on the couch together, my back resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around my stomach and his head buried into my neck. I ate the ice cream as the movie began, I even offered a couple of bites to Jack as we lay there and watched my favorite comfort movie. Forgetting all about the demon-legged creature that traumatized me moments ago.

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rupertgayes · 6 months

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How would you pitch watching Due South to someone who doesn't know it?

THE PREMISE: mountie from the northern reaches of canada goes to chicago to avenge dead dad (also a mountie), gets into buddy-cop shenanigans with a detective. said detective leaves the show in season 3 and gets replaced by another detective, shenanigans continue to ensue. there's also a dog. he's very cute.

THE PITCH: honestly, after being in the spn fandom and having most of popular culture awash with prestige shows (that are not spn, but like spn are typically dark and gritty and like killing characters off too) and having most of the popular media landscape try to cover their collective asses by having an aloof, 'you-can't-make-fun-of-this-because-we're-not-taking-it-seriously-ourselves' air, it was truly refreshing to sit down with a close friend of mine and check out this show.

i'm being completely serious when i say there's a certain je ne sais quoi about this show. is it because it's from the 90s? perhaps. is it because it's canadian? maybe. i wasn't even alive when this show first started airing and i'm not a media analyst. it basically takes the premise of the dudeley do-right cartoon and asks 'okay, but what if that was like, a real guy?' and fucking runs with it to the wildest heights. it's a comedy, but it's also so bizarre in some ways that it makes it a truly unique treat to watch. i love psych and brooklyn 99 for having a comedic procedural aspect, and neither of them are comparable in whatever it is that due south is doing.

there's honestly a lot of heart and soul in the entire show, and it has the ability to shift from just being comedic to having drama, mystery, and moments that pull at your heartstrings. it's a show that you can enjoy on the surface as a fun episodic show with fun characters and fun moments, but it also lends itself quite well to extrapolating on the characters, their motivations, etc. (and by etc i'm also including any shipping you might want to do).

i won't say it's a paragon of DEI, but again, i think it has a level of earnestness which makes any slip-ups it does have something i can kinda view with indulgence, versus shows that are making the same (or worse) mistakes 20+ years after this show already ended. these characters are treated with a level of dignity and respect, and i think overall the characterization is pretty consistent - there are some shifts happening between seasons 1-2 and 3-4, but i feel like it has more to do with budgets, a change in creative team, etc., versus writers not 'getting' certain characters.

there's also a lot of memorable episodes, scenes, bits. i think the latter seasons are more campy (my favorite) and some eps from s1 and 2 make for legitimately some great television. even the more mid episodes have something worthwhile, too. some of my fave moments in no order:

fraser (the mountie) saving and talking to? a rat in a strip club

also him going to a leather club

twice

and meeting a mountie in a latex version of his red serge uniform

using a tarp as a parachute

mafia egg conspiracy

aliens??

due south but make it silence of the lambs a little bit

performance arsonist

lake pirates? ghost ship?

also why are most of the major bad guys here doing some form of environmental crime? get your captain planet on ig, i'm into it

also fellow cops can also be bad guys. acab ig??

sick muscle cars eric kripke himself would've enjoyed. sometimes they get set on fire tho

due south but make it to wong foo thanks for everything

fraser running away from women so he doesn't have to kiss or interact with them

way too much time in closets, in general.

fellas is it gay to ask your new partner of one week maybe to pretend he's a woman so he can decide if he finds you attractive

there are red ships and green ships but no ships like partnerships :)

and to reiterate about the dog: there's a dog who's half wolf and all deaf and fraser can talk to him 'because he (the dog) reads lips'

his dead dad shows up too sometimes

anyway, it was really nice to watch this show for the first time, there are still moment i scream-laugh at because they're just so ridiculous and i'd never catch any other moments like that in any other show. i definitely see why there's still active fans for it thirty years later. there's also some wild shipping fodder here, which is at least partially why there are still fics getting written for these guys today. destiel if the cw weren't cowards etc etc. when i watched the finale, i cried tears of joy because while i'd miss the characters, they got an ending that actually seemed to fit, instead of it being a rush job, which is not unique to spn but, you know.

also you can watch it for free on youtube rn.

#asks #i did go from the pilot to s3 personally but my friend wanted me to see the second ray asap lol #the whole show is good tho! great even :)#due south #ds30below

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wigglebox · 2 years

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tho for real, while talking with folks today, i do believe that’s gabriel and not loki [going off of gabe’s story that loki gave him the disguise at some point] due to language he used.

the interesting one was the use of ‘samesies’ as a friend said, which came about mostly, according to google, around 2007. which is also, interestingly, is the same year gabe’s/loki’s first episode aired lol.

but also, i do believe wholeheartedly that it was in fact chuck and not just a rob benedict easter egg, particularly bc this interview with robbie dropped before the episode:

Samuel is a big mythology character to come into the series. What’s the mandate been about how many of these “known characters should be folded into the first season?

You know, our mandate — and that’s a great phrase for it — was: What’s the story? What’s the story we’re trying to tell with these characters? They can’t just be Easter eggs and fun for the fans. We never said “no” to any character. We never said, like, “Absolutely not!” But when we got into the nitty gritty of “if we do bring in that character, what’s the story? What are we saying about Supernatural? And are we breaking anything that we, therefore, have to buy? Any time that was the case, where it felt like there was no more story here, and therefore it was just an Easter egg fun thing, we moved on from it. It’s not like they’re Pokemon and we’ve got to collect all of them. We really wanted to find a way to tell our story, and then how those character could exist within ours. So that was really the mandate.

basically, they’re not throwing in OG SPN characters for shits and giggles, they’re there for a purpose. And they even did a tighter shot on Rob playing the piano, and he was wearing a party city wig, AND he was wearing white.

you don’t casually throw in a rob benedict reference because for every new fan who won’t understand the significance or may pick up on the fact that it’s him, you have more of us OG SPN fans who would. And yeah, I know it was LS performing, but Rob didn’t say he was going to be there. No one was expecting it. I mean some of us were expecting for a while to see him pop up but there was no expectation that he would this episode.

and i’m thinking about this TBT he posted a while ago, as chuck, in swan song, wearing white, with an in-universe prequel comic book poster framed behind him of john winchester.

and another friend pointed out that there were quite a few lens flares during carlos’ singing scene.

so yeah.

that was chuck, that was gabe, and no i don’t think gabriel is stuck in a mirror. that’s just what he does to throw people off his trail. and if he is stuck in that mirror, obviously we know he doesn’t stay there.

and now we obviously know that dean’s in their timeline too

so — are they really in existence right now? are they in the empty? are they all sharing a mass hallucination? you have gabriel using modern language indicating time travel, you have dean and the car indicating time travel, and you have chuck who should not be having powers now if we are following the story linearly from OG SPN

Damn I love this show I can’t wait for more.

#long post #spnwin #spnwin spoilers #spnwin spec #idk where i was going with this but basically we just saw chuck and i'm screaming

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youlooklikeasixtiesqueen · 4 months

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here are all my thoughts and notes from purcon!! not formatted for tumblr but readable!!!

Day 1:

Opening:

everyone was so happy to be there, and so shocked how many people were there!!! 2500!!!

they showed vids before bringing everyone on stage and continued that throughout the panels. it's a cute touch

Misha auto:

he smiled and i got shaky knees and giggled like a 12 year old with a crush

jensen was at the table next to him!!

very quick but there was a huge line

he signed my book!!

i said "hi misha" and he said hi back

he looked at my destiel shirt and smiled :)

Ty & DJ:

started by telling us thank you for the congrats on their engagement

you can see how much they love each other!!! no pda but the way they look at each other!!

plus they both said multiple times that meeting each other was the best thing that happened

dj has been obsessed with eastenders since the 90s, never missed an episode

ty told everyone not to smoke cigarettes

dj had a glass of wine (it was 1pm)

left 5 mins early to get the Darius auto

Meeting Darius:

so nice and kind!! gentle vibes, literally what you would expect from misha's best friend

i was 2nd in line out of four people

four people in the autograph group so he talked to us all for about 15 minutes as a group

he signed his name on the picture, then asked if misha was going to sign it as well. i said no so he asked if he could sign misha's name for him and we all laughed and i said yes and it literally looks like misha wrote it

he told us him and misha have a competition to see who can bring the other person to a bigger event - darius took misha to the oscars, misha took darius to meet zelensky, but now darius got invited to meet the pope!!

talked to us a bit about filmmaking and how the picture aspect is basically the same throughout film history, but sound changes every week

it took 26 weeks in post for the sound of metal to get the sound right

he's friends with emilia clarke??? and said that she was so upset over the got ending because so many babies have her character's name

he felt the spn ending was rushed

sooooo handsome in person and the nicest voice

darius is getting austrian citizenship bc his grandma was from austria but she had to flee

Mark:

only saw the last bit but he was of course wandering the crowd

talked a lot about mental health and how we're not alone

said the best place to have a panic attack is a spn convention

Sachin & Osric:

fun!! not that interesting but fun!!

sachin just learned about destiel. like minutes before the panel started

talked about being poc in the industry and how much better it has gotten

Jared:

it was fine but again not interesting

talked about pranks

talked about maybe being on the boys

talked about mental health

Misha & Jensen:

an hour late bc they made jensen do photos :(

they played the confession right before they walked on stage???

question queue was very long, they took about five or six not so great questions

someone asked what their fave gym equipment is (wtf) and misha said it's the towel to slap others on the butt with

but they were very fun!!

some people decided to tell a sob story at the mic which wasted time. like they know you love supernatural, they know you're nervous, you don't need to tell them.

they joked around a lot

three touches!! fingers, high five, hug!!!

you can just see how much they adore each other

darius was sitting on the steps but they wouldn't give him a microphone :( hopefully he'll come out at misha's panel tomorrow

Day 2:

Jared & Jensen VIP:

question abt Radio Company coming to Germany

Jensen says they're discussing it, his fave songs are Quarter To and City Grown Willow

Mario Kart characters - Jared Yoshi because he poops eggs, Jensen Blue Shell guy??, his 7yo plays Rosalina, JJ can beat him in Mario Kart now

Jared is 25% German (maternal grandpa)

Jensen wants to turn his next Purcon visit into a vacation

one person is talking so slowwwww

Jensen would want to reshoot Bugs without the bees

They had to do a bee allergy test where someone actually picked up a bee with tweezers and made it sting them

3 part question 🙄 with backstory 🙄 about their kids and if they can grow up normal and if they have a strategy if their kids read fanfic

Jensen played baseball in HS

His first school play was a musical

Mark:

thanked us for letting them do the panels in english without a translator

Crowley was more excited to spend time with Dean instead of being in Hell

Mark went upstairs and helped a fan who had a bad photo with Jared

Got a standing ovation

Ty & DJ:

DJ used anti wrinkle creme on his balls but he stopped when his doctor said it would make him infertile

Ty told us to listen to a 23yo Canandian who sounds like Johnny Cash (Colter Wall??? maybe??)

Ty listens to a lot of country, DJ doesn't really have strong feelings about music

DJ adopted a dog who pissed on his belongings for 10 years - he was supposed to live until about 2 bc of health problems

DJ says to watch the movie Overboard

several questions were asked yesterday

DJ, Ty, and Ty's daughters have matching tattoos (they got them drunk) it's a little skull

Sachin & Osric:

Osric is Timon, Sachin is Pumba

Misha:

couldn't do notes bc i was in line!! wasn't picked tho, because everyone rushed to the microphone before the last panel was over

one person spent five minutes monologuing

misha said people should ask him questions on their knees

Bishagate reference!! He asked a girl if she was coming out as an alien and she said "that's rich coming from you", Darius laughed so much (while he was still on the stairs)

Compared whipped cream to cum

Darius was on stage!!

Jared:

greeted us with Guten Abend, Guten Tag, and howdy y'all

said it's not a goodbye to spn, it's a see you later

said swan song was easier than sacrifice bc he was lucifer for swan song so he had to act... reminder: that's his job...

first question was not a question

second question was a prank question

trivializing the thing where jared put coins in misha's car!!! wtf

praising mark p ew

woman keeps talking about her alarm sound which is german dean

called out a woman's shirt that says "save an impala, ride a winchester"

looks like jared will be on the boys, he basically confirmed it

he likes mountains more than beaches

says they might do a beach episode in the future

talking about the finale and the dean death scene

wants to bring jdm to the next con

Jensen:

GIANT line to ask a question

first woman named her kid Dean Jensen

hates toy slime bc it's all over his house

danneel moves a creepy doll around the house to mess with jensen

question abt cas in the winchesters and cas returning!! how to address the confession!! jensen thinks the confession was a long time coming and beautiful and raw and real!! dean understands cas loved him!! said cas saying he loves dean was clear text (rather than subtext) said cas and jensen found each other and when they meet again cas' feelings are just understood

says demon dean is stronger than soldier boy bc demon dean has no soul

boys question - jensen talks about herogasm, jack quaid just told jensen good luck when he went on set, nobody on set knew what was lube and what was hand sanitizer, he was unprepared to see so many naked people, he was standing next to a guy when the robes came off and he "had to do the glance", couldn't help looking at people having sex "there's four people here in a position i've never seen before"

woman crying while asking a question

woman said dj said he wanted to exchange his husband for jensen, and jensen said he doubts it because ty is pretty great

woman telling bad jokes, one about how women having orgasms is like a snowstorm because you can't see it coming?? not true for either i think

jensen needs to do more solo panels. i could listen to him talk for hours

i can't believe i was in the same room as this man wtf

#purcon #purcon 8

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imagineteamfreewill · 2 years

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Crowned

Title: Crowned

Pairing: Prince!Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Whipping, brief language, slight angst, mostly fluff

Square Filled: Secret Relationship

Summary: Y/N is a castle kitchen maid in Lawrence, where Prince Samuel is scheduled to ascend to the throne on Christmas Eve. The extra work takes a heavy toll on her, but there’s something—or someone—else making it an even more eventful season for her.

A/N: This is a submission for the 2022 SPN Christmas Bingo (@spnchristmasbingo). As always, thank you for reading, liking, commenting, and supporting me in so many ways. I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and healthy holiday season with their loved ones! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

The village always bustled with activity as you neared the winter solstice, but this year even more so. The prince’s coronation was scheduled for Christmas Eve, which meant in addition to the usual preparations, everyone was getting ready for what was promised to be the grandest event the castle had ever had. Even you were mildly excited for what was to come, and normally you hated your job in the kitchens.

“Y/N! Where did you put those eggs, girl?”

You sighed as you kneaded the dough on the table in front of you. The head baker had given you the task of making the braided loaves for the castle’s coronation feast. They were one of the traditional dishes that the prince had requested, so they had to be perfect. You’d been mixing, kneading, braiding, and baking from sunup to sundown most days, and when you weren’t working by the ovens, you were out gathering more supplies. She’d sent you to get eggs from Farmer Mills that morning and for milk from Farmer Singer the morning prior. No matter what you did, no matter how hard you worked, it never seemed to be enough. It felt like she’d been harping on you and critiquing your baking every second of every day. You were deciding between throwing something at her or crying. Maybe both.

“They’re with the butter, ma’am,” you called back, holding in the retort you wanted to tack onto the end. Her shrill voice was like a knife and you’d been on the verge of a blinding headache for three hours now. It wouldn’t be long before you’d need to beg her to send you home to rest. She probably wouldn’t agree.

“Are you daft? Come here!”

You winced, pausing mid-knead. That wasn’t a good sign. Slowly, you wiped your hands on the apron tied over your shift and made your way around the other long table. The head baker was in the back room, and as you passed by the other kitchen girls, they all gave you pitying looks of various degrees. You were the newest in the castle, having just started a few months ago after seeking refuge from a neighboring kingdom, which meant you got the brunt of all her anger and stress. Unfortunately for you, her anger and stress were at an all-time high given the upcoming feasts.

“Ma’am?” you asked, standing in the doorway to the makeshift storeroom.

“Come here,” she ordered, and you obediently stepped closer. “Where are the eggs?”

Turning towards where you’d set down the basket, you said, “They are—” You stopped mid-sentence. The basket had disappeared, as had the eggs. “They were there, Ma’am, I promise you. I put them next to the butter as soon as I got back.”

“Well, they’re not there now, wench, so what will you do now?”

You swallowed thickly, tears welling in your eyes. You’d be punished for this. “I’ll go to Farmer Mills’ straightway and fetch more, ma’am.”

“That’ll be comin’ out of your pay. Give me your hand.”

The head baker reached for her whip and struck it across your knuckles as soon as you’d extended your arm. Knowing better than to cry out, you bit down on your tongue and squeezed your eyes shut right as the whip lashed across the back of your hand again. Your skin felt warm where the blood welled up.

Three more lashes and you were free. You darted out of the storeroom and grabbed your cloak from the peg on the wall, wrapping it around your shoulders as quickly as you could. One of the other kitchen girls, Anna, was waiting for you by the door. She wrapped a clean cloth around your hand without a word, then slipped a few coins into the pocket of your apron. When you opened your mouth to protest, she shook her head and gently nudged you out of the kitchen and into the bitter cold.

You took the shortest route from the castle to the farm on the edge of the castle village. Jody’s family had farmed the land for decades. The land had been in her husband’s family since he was a young boy, and you’d become friends with her shortly after they’d married. She was kind and she always made sure you had the best. You hoped now that your friendship would help you procure the eggs you needed during the busiest time of year.

The streets were fairly empty for noontime, but you stuck to the edges of the paths, leaving room for the tradesmen and their wives, the knights, and the ladies that milled about, looking for someone upon which to bestow their Christmas generosity. Boughs of holly decorated the windows and their sills, and the red berries stuck amongst them added festive cheer to the otherwise dreary winter. Candles were already burning in the windows in an attempt to ward off the gray-tinged darkness that threatened each precious minute of daylight until the solstice. The coming winter promised to be a harsh one, but the hope of the evergreens loosened the tight knot of fear in your chest. Christmas was coming, and with it there would be rest and time for celebrations of your own. You’d never attended a servant’s dinner, and Sam would be a king. You knew that to be intimately true, more so than most, especially in the depths of the kitchens.

“My lady?”

A hand on your arm made you turn, and you almost stumbled when you met familiar eyes.

“Samuel,” you murmured, immediately smiling wide. Your cheeks felt warm even despite the cold and you glanced around, hoping no one would notice you talking to him.

He was dressed plainly, in a gray wool cloak drawn up over his head and tied securely around his shoulders, a long brown tunic that you were certain you’d seen before in the squire’s closet, and a pair of leather boots. Sam looked every part a common man, and your heart swelled with giddiness.

“What are you doing here? Someone could see you!” you whispered, though you couldn’t stop smiling. You pulled him under the eaves of a cobbler’s shop, out of the snow and away from prying eyes. The cobbler was deaf, and after you acknowledged him with a polite wave, he went back to his work.

“I was tending to my horse when I saw you leave. I have something for you,” Sam replied. He smiled down at you, his hazel eyes crinkling at the corners. A thrill went through you when his hands brushed yours as he placed a parchment-wrapped bundle into your hands. He didn’t seem to notice your bandage, nor did he see the blood that had soaked through it.

“I don’t have anything for you.”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Open it.”

Hesitant, you began to carefully unwrap the brown parchment. It fell to the ground and was instantly soaked with snow, but you could only gasp and marvel at the fabric in your hands. The dress shimmered in the winter sun, sparkling as the weak light hit it. You’d never seen something so beautiful, and you’d certainly never owned anything like it. The fabric felt lighter than air and as you ran your fingers over it, you held your breath, just in case you might blow it away. Certainly, none of the other kitchen maids or servant girls owned something like this. Not even the finest lady in all of Lawrence owned a dress as beautiful. You weren’t even sure if the royals in your home country had even seen something so fine.

“Samuel,” you finally murmured, and you regarded him with wide eyes, shaking your head in disbelief. “I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can, my love.”

His words warmed you from the inside out and you ducked your head, hiding the bashful smile he always pulled from you. “I have no place to wear a dress like this, and Ma’am will surely find out…”

“Come to my coronation.”

Your head snapped up and the smile fell at the seriousness of his request. “What?”

“Come to my coronation,” he repeated. Sam reached out and brushed hair behind your ear. His touch was warm, a welcome relief from the winter chill, but you were too shocked to register it.

“I can’t,” you told him. “It’s not proper for a kitchen maid to attend a royal event of any kind. It’s forbidden. If I did, Ma’am would—”

“It’s my coronation. Nothing is forbidden if I say it isn’t, and I want you there.”

You looked away and stared at the feet of the horses as several knights rode by. Their hooves kicked up dirty slush and pebbles, spewing them over your shoes and Sam’s boots. Sam looked the opposite way, subtly using the hood of his cloak to shield his face from the men. After they’d gone, you didn’t turn towards him again, but you could feel Sam staring at you.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, his voice barely audible over the cheerful calls of men and women loitering in the street. “And once I am king, we can be together. There will be no law to stop us.”

“But there is a law now, and I’m bound to keep it, as are you,” you replied. You pushed the dress into his grasp and stepped just out of his reach, drawing your own cloak closer around you. The wind ruffled your shift and apron and Sam’s hair fluttered in front of his face as he stared down at you with hurt in his eyes.

“Do you not trust me to take care of you?”

“Of course I do, my King.” You bowed your head slightly, silently willing away the lump in your throat.

“Y/N—”

You stepped back again, almost tripping over a pile of firewood. Sidestepping, you lifted your head just enough to meet his gaze for a brief moment. “I’m sorry, Samuel. I must go.”

His flickered to your bandaged hand when you reached up to adjust your hood once more, and your breath caught in your throat when he blocked your path and tenderly grasped your wrist with one hand.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you replied, shaking your head. You kept your eyes down, hoping he wouldn’t see the lie in them, but he hooked a finger underneath your chin and gently guided you to look upward.

“It’s not nothing to me. You’re hurt.”

Your lower lip trembled as you held his gaze, until finally he dropped his hand and you could avert your eyes again. “I cut myself while I was helping cut vegetables. It was a clumsy mistake.”

Sam stood for a moment before he said, “You work in the bakery. Do not think so little of me that I do not know your trade. Tell me the truth, Y/N.”

“Is that an order?”

Even without looking, you felt him tense beside you.

“It’s a request,” he quietly answered. “Tell me the truth, my love.”

His words cut deep into your heart, expertly carving out the softest parts of you and extracting them from the walls you’d built. Sam knew how to get past your every defense in just a moment’s time, and a tear rolled down your cheek as you stared down at the muddy, snow-mottled ground.

“The eggs I fetched for Ma’am this morning went missing. She believed it to be my fault, and I was punished.”

“Punished?” Sam repeated, and you slowly nodded. “Show me, I beg of you,” he added.

You knew that he was no stranger to blood or injury, but the shame you felt while unwrapping your hand was like salt in your wounds. Sam would never understand what your life was like, not now in the kitchens and certainly not before you’d escaped your homeland to come to Lawrence. Accepting punishments you didn’t deserve came easily to you, and the scar that would form across the back of your hand would only be one of many that littered your skin.

Sam took your hand in his once the bandage was removed. He held it gingerly, cradled between his own gentle palms, as he inspected the lashes. They were precise and though the blood had crusted over and dirtied your skin, you knew that underneath the mess, the four lashes stood like tallies across your knuckles and hand. Four identical scars would form, a constant reminder to you and others of your supposed blunder. You’d be forever marked by your inabilities.

“You should see a doctor” Sam finally said, and you pulled your hand away.

“I’ll heal fine enough on my own,” you argued. Before he could say anything more, you wrapped the bandage back around your hand and tucked it underneath your cloak, out of sight. “I truly must go now. If I don’t return with the eggs…”

“Let me walk with you,” he insisted.

You shook your head, but Sam stepped closer, crowding your personal space. “Please, I beg of you. I’ll leave you before we near the castle upon your return. I just wish to be with you before…”

His next words went unspoken, but you heard them loud and clear.

Before I’m crowned King.

Before everything changes.

Before I’m forced to marry for the good of the kingdom.

Before you fade away from my memory.

Swallowing thickly, you looked back down at the ground and nodded. “Very well.”

Sam held out his arm. It took you a few seconds to stir up the nerve to take it, and then he was leading you toward the outskirts of the village before you could think twice. He walked in silence beside you, carefully veering you around large puddles and holes in the ground. He positioned himself between you and the busy village paths and took the brunt of the slush and mud splashing when horses rode by and when children pushed carts full of root vegetables, evergreen boughs, and firewood toward their families’ stalls. The two of you remained quiet even as you walked, and you thought it strange that Sam didn’t ask for directions to Jody’s farm, nor did he even ask the farm to which you were heading. He simply steered you along in silence.

When you finally arrived at the Mills’ farm, you removed your arm from his and gathered your skirts in one hand so you could navigate their crowded land with more ease. Chickens roamed freely in their appointed yard, as did the goats in theirs, but you knew that their son and one of the village boys wouldn’t be far off. They took good care of the animals. A loss of any could surely devastate them all.

Smoke blew from the chimney as you neared their small hut. As soon as you were within a few feet, the door swung open and Jody met your gaze, her own eyes filled with concern. You never visited midday.

“Y/N?” she asked. Once you were near enough, she ushered you inside to the waiting warmth. You immediately took your normal seat at her table, but you glanced back over your shoulder when she wasn’t there to join you. Instead, Jody stood frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide and her body tense with indecision.

“He’s a friend,” you told her, but she only continued to stare.

Jody suddenly dipped into a low curtsy, her head bowed until she could only stare at the floor. “Your Highness,” she frantically murmured. “I apologize, I did not recognize you from afar.”

From where he stood just outside the door, Sam met your eyes through the open doorway. His hood had fallen, revealing his face, and snowflakes clung to his hair. His skin was pink with cold as he gave you a sad smile, then knelt slightly to help Jody rise.

“Please,” he said, his voice soft. “I am only here to accompany Y/N.”

Silently, Jody looked between you and Sam, and you felt warmth rush to your face, though not from the heat of the fire burning in her hearth.

“Of course, please come in, Your Highness.” Jody stepped out of Sam’s way and gestured for him to sit across from you at the table. She shut the door tightly behind him, then bustled around her small home. You watched for a moment as she retrieved a second wooden cup and began to pour tea. It had been ready to drink already, and guilt as heavy as lead sank to the bottom of your stomach. Jody and her family had little as it was, and now they’d waste their precious tea on you.

Sam took the empty chair and his legs immediately crowded yours under the table. He murmured an apology, then looked around the room. Two beds had been pushed against the wall to make room for the table and chairs. A roll of blankets was tucked atop one of the hay-stuffed mattresses, and several sets of clothing hung on hooks above the second.

“I apologize for the state of my home, Your Highness,” Jody said as she carried over two cups, then placed one in front of each of you. “We make do with what we have.”

He shook his head. “You may call me Samuel. I’m nobody important here.”

Her eyes grew wide and she glanced at you, but you focused on preparing your cup of tea with the small bowl of sugar she’d somehow produced. You knew with every minute that passed you’d get in deeper trouble with the head baker. Still, you couldn’t sabotage Jody’s time with Sam with your own troubles. It was very likely she’d never see him again, just as it was likely you’d never spend this much time with him again after today.

“But Your Highness, you are always—”

“Please,” Sam insisted. “I’m only accompanying Y/N today. I needed to get away from the coronation preparations, and she agreed to show me around the village.”

Of course, you hadn’t agreed to that. You’d barely agreed to anything, and the reminder of the upcoming coronation made tears well up in your eyes.

You inhaled deeply, straightening up in your seat and willing them away. You had to focus on the task at hand. Both Sam and Jody looked over at you as you downed your tea and winced as it scalded your tongue and throat.

“I need more eggs, Jody,” you told her. “The ones I bought from you this morning have disappeared. If I do not return with more…”

You trailed off, but Jody knew what you meant. She’d managed to get you talking one day and you’d spilled the horror stories of the head baker and the punishments you and the other kitchen girls had received. She’d also heard all about the horrors of your previous home. You’d shown her the scars that came with those stories, too. The only thing she didn’t know about you was how closely you held Sam to your heart, but that was a secret you could never betray.

Sam didn’t say anything as Jody quietly excused herself to search their chicken yard for more eggs. You obeyed, sitting completely still with your empty cup cradled between your hands. The bandage kept rubbing against the healing lashes every time you moved. You tried to shift it away from them as subtly as possible, but Sam was watching you like a hawk.

“Does it bother you?” he asked.

Sighing, you turned your head to look at the flames dancing merrily in the fireplace. “Samuel…”

“I only wish for you to be comfortable, Y/N. Why will you not let me help you?”

You looked down at the cup in your hands, fidgeting with the cracked handle. It clacked against the wooden table as you carefully placed it at the edge of the table. The cups were the finest in Jody’s collection, and your stomach twisted at the thought that she might think differently of you now that she’d seen you with Sam. Would she tell the other women in the village? Or her husband? What if her son had seen you, or the other shepherd boy? If someone found out that you’d been consorting with the prince unchaperoned, you’d be done for.

“I can’t,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “I can’t get accustomed to your help. Soon enough you will be the king and I…”

“You will be my queen,” Sam fervently replied.

Shaking your head, you rose from your seat. The door swung open before Sam could speak up or join you.

“I believe this will be enough,” Jody said. The basket in her hand was only half full of eggs, but your chest swelled with relief and gratitude nonetheless.

“It will have to make do,” you told her as you dug the coins from the pocket of your apron. “Will this be enough?”

Sam stood and you glanced over at him. His expression was unreadable, but then he nodded slightly, and you quickly looked back at Jody. It only took you a moment to realize that he’d been negotiating on your behalf.

You gripped his arm, digging your nails in until he looked over at you. He kept his expression neutral even as he turned his back on Jody to shield you from her curious eyes.

“You can’t,” you hissed at him. “They’ll ask why you’re paying her money. They’ll find out about us.”

His head shake was small, but not unnoticeable. “Dean won’t tell.”

If Dean knew, then there was no doubt in your mind that Sam had told others about your trysts, and your stomach twisted at the thought. You stepped away, staring at him for a moment longer, then turned and took the basket from Jody, who still stood by the door.

“Thank you, Jody. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, you stepped back out into the cold midday air and started making your way back toward the castle. If anyone had stopped to ask you, you would’ve told them the tears in your eyes were from the cold.

The head baker’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard and you hadn’t even made it to the actual feast yet. She’d ordered you and the rest of the kitchen girls to be working three hours earlier than normal, long before the sun even rose on Christmas Eve, and the upstairs servants had told you that the guests were talking about a feast that stretched long into the night. According to Lady Charlie’s handmaiden, most of the visiting royals planned to celebrate until the priests came for the midnight blessing. After that, there would be Christmas feasts tomorrow morning, afternoon, and evening, allowing everyone to celebrate. The leftovers would be taken to the villagers, and then there was the servant’s dinner to prepare for. You were exhausted. Between the extra work in the kitchens and the mental and emotional strain of avoiding Sam at any and all costs, you’d barely had time to catch your breath, let alone sleep or eat.

“Y/N, are you well?”

You glanced over and forced a small smile in Anna’s direction, though you never truly met her eyes. Your brain and hands were focused on the lump of dough sat on the table in front of you. Ever since leaving him at the Mills’ farm, you’d thought of little else besides how Sam could approach you next. He’d always teased you about getting bold and visiting you in the kitchens while you were working, but the very thought of that struck fear into your bones. If the head baker, or anyone, really, discovered your relationship with him, you’d be hung.

“You look pale, and tired. Maybe you should rest.”

You shook your head and tried to muster a little bit more life into your tired body. “I’m fine, Anna. Truly.”

When you looked up at her, she was turned toward you but her gaze was focused on the doorway leading to the castle courtyard. All day long, pages and servants from the neighboring kingdoms had been arriving to serve their own dignitaries, so when you turned to see what she was looking at, you’d expected an exhausted young boy or girl, looking lost and very, very hungry. What you hadn’t expected was Sam.

Sam, dressed in navy velvet, a gold circlet atop his head, and a gold chain resting on his chest. Sam, with shining black boots and his sword tucked neatly against his hip. Sam, with his hair shining in the light from the candles and his eyes focused solely on you.

“Y/N,” he began, and you swallowed thickly, your fingers digging into the dough in front of you. Your legs trembled and you had to lean against the table for support. He stepped through the doorway, ducking down to avoid knocking his head, and slowly approached the table where you and Anna worked.

“I cannot do this without you by my side. It would be wrong for the woman I love to be absent from this part of my life. I beseech thee, with every part of myself, to join me.”

He held out his hand as he stopped a few feet from the table. You couldn’t tear your eyes away and you licked your lips, trying to come up with a suitable response. When notching came, all you could do was gape at him and shake your head.

“Sam, I— I cannot be with you.”

“Yes, you can,” he gently argued. “You will not be punished. You are committing no wrong.”

You closed your mouth and quickly shook your head, glancing over at Anna as you continued to grip the table through the bread dough. It would no doubt have to be thrown out after your mistreatment. No good loaves could come of it now, just as no good would come to you after Sam departed. You were utterly and truly ruined.

“And what’s this? Why aren’t you— Your Highness!”

Whirling around, you stared in shock as the head baker collapsed into a low curtsy. It only took a second before Anna had collected herself enough to do the same. Only you and Sam remained standing, but he was still focused solely on you.

“I cannot,” you croaked, shaking your head. You tried again, more urgently this time. “You need to go, Your Highness. Please.”

Against your better judgment, your eyes flickered down to the scars on your hand. The head baker would surely whip you again for this. When you noticed Sam looking down as well, you hurried to tug the sleeve of your dress down to cover them, but it was too late. His eyes caught the movement and his eyes darkened slightly at the scars, then even further when he saw the whip coiled on its wall hook behind you. Ma’am had left it there as a reminder of what would happen if you or the other workers slacked on your tasks for the coronation or the Christmas feasts.

Sam dropped his hand back down to his side and his other came to rest on the hilt of his sword. He walked around the table, approaching the head backer, who still lay prone on the dirty kitchen floor.

“Are you the mistress here?” he asked. His voice had changed and you shuddered at the formality of it. With you, Sam spoke softly, gently, and with all the earnestness he could muster. Now, his words dripped with displeasure.

Silently, Anna rose and helped you over to sit on a nearby barrel of brined fish. It hadn’t quite made it to the storehouses before everyone grew busy. The smell of the fish was overpowering and it had been all day, but you barely made it to the barrel before you stumbled over your own feet. Sitting in the stink would have to do.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Ma’am whimpered.

You closed your eyes, holding your breath even as your lungs burned. You couldn’t bear to watch Sam fulfill the part of his job you knew he hated. Yes, people far and wide respected him for his level head and for being a fair and just ruler in his father’s stead, but he was also Lawrence’s judge, jury, and, when absolutely necessary, executioner.

“Then I command you to treat your workers with the grace they deserve in my kingdom. This will be your one and only warning.” Sam paused. “My father would not be so kind. You are lucky that I will hold this discovery close. I will be watching you well.”

Ma’am whimpered again, her words unintelligible as Sam backed away and scanned the room for you. Once he found you sitting beside Anna, who’d stood tensely by your side throughout the whole exchange, his face softened.

“What must I do to convince you?” he asked.

You looked down at your hands, ignoring when Anna’s grip on your arm tightened at the sound of Sam’s voice directed toward you.

“Samuel… I’m but a servant. What we had needs to end now that you are becoming king. You must marry for the good of the kingdom, even if it is not what you desire.”

“You sound like my father,” he replied, a hint of humor in his voice.

His footsteps were soft as he crossed the room, stepping over the baker. His sword bumped against the leg of the table when he stopped a few feet away from you and Anna.

“May he rest in peace. He was a wise king, and you will be too,” you added.

“I will be even better with you by my side, Y/N. I love you, and I always will. You cannot ask me to try and give my heart to another, not when it will always be with you.”

Tears made your vision blurry until you finally looked up at him. His expression was pained as he waited for you to reply. When Anna gripped your arm even tighter, unable to stand the silence any longer, you shook your head.

“And what of your people? They will speak ill of me. Will you be able to handle that?”

“No one will—”

“They will,” you interrupted, giving him a sad smile. You sniffled and patted Anna’s hand to signal her that she could let go. When she did, you carefully stood from the barrel, but you didn’t move away from it. “They will, my love, and you cannot punish them for it. They will be jealous and confused and angry that you chose someone so unworthy of your love, but fighting against their venom will only make it worse.”

Sam fell silent as he searched your face. Finally, he answered, “Are you accepting me, then? Will you stand beside me today, and every day after?”

After a moment, you nodded and offered him a small smile. “Yes, Samuel.”

Beside you, Anna laughed in pure relief, and you glanced over at her. She tried to muffle it, but you began to laugh as well. Sam surged forward and took your hand in his, making you look back at him. He dipped low to press a kiss to the back of your uninjured hand.

“I believe there is even a dress waiting for you, my lady,” he said.

You laughed a little more then, and when Sam took your hand to lead you out of the kitchens and up into the castle, you didn’t resist. Instead, you turned to wave at Anna. When she called after you in hopes that you’d come visit her in the days to come, you nodded fervently. You’d never forget the friend she’d been to you since arriving in Lawrence, and you’d repay her kindness tenfold.

Sam led you up to the main hall of the castle, where his older brother stood waiting in similar clothes. His robes were a deep red and the circlet on his head was also gold. The sash across his chest bore the Winchester crest, and the polished hilt of his sword gleamed bright in the winter sun streaming through the windows.

“You work in the kitchens?” he asked once you and Sam had fully emerged from the staircase.

Tentatively, you nodded and glanced over at Sam, who’d positioned himself between you and the hall, shielding you from prying eyes. A tall evergreen decorated with candles and red berries stood proudly behind Dean.

“Yes, sire,” you replied, dipping into a slight curtsy. While you were certain that he’d disregard your show of respect given Sam’s affection for you, Dean was still captain of the King’s guard and that title alone was enough to make you tremble. He held more power than most people knew.

Dean scoffed and reached out to take your other hand. He bowed and kissed over the scars. His touch was gentle and you felt your face grow warm. Being kissed by one Winchester brother was enough to make your heart race, but two? You were practically floating, and Sam chuckled knowingly when he caught your somewhat dazed expression.

“Come, my love. Dean will be the one to escort you down the aisle for the ceremony,” Sam murmured.

You blinked and looked up at him, at a loss for words. Being left to your own devices in the upper parts of the castle was a terrifying prospect, especially since Sam was the one who’d escorted you up. If you were caught without him… You’d heard horror stories of servants who’d assumed too much of themselves. You shuddered.

“You will be perfectly safe,” he reassured you. He squeezed your hand and nodded encouragingly, but your stomach still churned with nerves.

When you glanced over at Dean, he nodded as well. “You have my word that I will not leave you, Y/N. I am sworn to my brother’s protection, and therefore I am sworn to yours,” he said.

Slowly, you forced yourself to exhale and nod in agreement. “Very well.”

“I will see you soon, Y/N,” Sam said. He dipped down and pressed a kiss to your cheek this time. The flour that clung to your skin didn’t seem to bother him, and underneath the white dust your cheeks grew warm for the umpteenth time since he’d arrived to pull you from the depths of the kitchens. Sam always seemed to be able to turn you into a lovesick young girl, but you weren’t about to complain.

Sam backed away. You watched in silence as he turned, then strode down the hallway with such purpose that the path in front of him cleared immediately. Most of the crowds you had seen entering the castle for hours were nowhere in sight, but no one in the hall stopped to bow as he passed, as they had for King John. You wondered if he’d requested such behavior or if things would change once he was crowned. Since you’d begun meeting in secret months ago, Sam had never struck you as the kind of person who demanded a person’s respect. He always earned it in his own subtle way, just as he had earned your affections. He’d snuck past all your defenses in less time than it took you to escape from your home country.

Once he’d disappeared from view, Dean lifted his arm for you to hold. You gratefully accepted and let him guide you in the direction of the masses.

“Where are we going?” you asked as you entered the main part of the grand hallway.

“To the coronation,” Dean replied. He steered you around a group of knights who had gathered along the edge of the hall.

You stumbled and gripped his arm even tighter as ice cold panic flooded your veins. “The coronation? Now? I thought it not for a few hours!”

With his other hand, Dean steadied you. He slowed his pace for a few steps, then stopped when you planted your feet in the plus golden rug, refusing to move.

“Yes,” he answered, “the coronation. Where did you think we were going?”

“I— I did not know, but I am not— I cannot go to the coronation!” you hissed at him. You glanced down at your shift and the thin leather shoes you’d been wearing for years now.

“That’s horse shit. Of course you can go. Sam’s requested your presence, Y/N. You won’t be turned—”

“Maybe not,” you argued, “but I won’t truly belong.” You pulled your arm from his. “I’m dirty. I smell like yeast and fish. I don’t know the proper way to act or the proper things to say. I can’t dance. I don’t belong here, Dean, and one man’s love cannot change that.”

He watches you for a moment before his expression softens. “I believe that is why he cares for you, Y/N.”

You stared at him, confused. In your head, there’d been lists of reasons for Sam to turn you away. There’d been an even longer set of ways that the people of Lawrence could dismiss you from the coronation, each one more humiliating than the last. How could he love your faults?

Dean gently guided you to take his arm again, then began walking toward the cathedral at the far end of the castle. “You are not of royal blood, and you were once a stranger to Lawrence, but you’re intelligent. You’re quick, and you make him happy. Not a day has gone by that he hasn’t spoken of you, and he’s mentioned no less than a thousand times how beautiful you are.”

“Truly?” you asked, and he chuckled. When you glanced over, Dean stared straight ahead, but he smiled.

“Truly.”

You stopped before a set of doors that stretched high above your head, ending in a point only inches from the lofted ceiling. The wood shined in the candlelight and you shivered as guards on either side pulled them open for you and Dean. A gust of wind blew through the cathedral, making the candle flames on the golden stands all around you dance and flicker. Rows of dignitaries inside turned at the sound of the giant doors creaking open and every bit of giddiness from Dean’s commentary drained out of your body.

“You swear that this is what Sam wants? That this isn’t a trick?” you asked, looking up at him.

Dean regarded you with a soft smile. “I swear, Y/N. I gave my word that I would protect you, did I not?”

Hesitantly, you nodded. “This is true, but—”

“Then you are safe with me. I’m the captain, and they will obey me”

You took a deep breath, then nodded again. “Very well. I’m ready.”

He dipped his head and forced his expression into a neutral one before stepping forward. You kept your eyes focused on the grand altar at the front of the cathedral as Dean led you down the center aisle. The ladies and lords on either side of you gasped and whispered as you passed. It took every fiber of your being not to turn and run the other direction, and by the time you’d reached the steps that led to the altar, you were trembling.

“You are safe,” Dean whispered. He leaned in close to you so that only you could hear. “They cannot harm you, nor will I let them try.” When you shakily exhaled and nodded in understanding, he continued, “Sam will arrive soon. After he is crowned king, you will take his arm instead of mine.”

Confused, you looked up at him just as the fanfare began. “What then?” you asked.

The twinkle in his eye made your stomach flip. “And then you will join us at the feast. Sam can have new clothes brought for you, if you would like, and you will celebrate with us. I believe he had a gown made for you especially. Did he not?”

Before you could answer, Dean straightened and lifted his fist to place it over his heart, just like the other knights did as Sam entered, but his other arm stayed in place to hold you steady. You clutched it tightly as the music continued and Sam processed down the center aisle of the cathedral. Long strands of evergreen garland marked his way. You marveled at his steadiness amid the grand procession. Children selected from the village and from royal families assisted with his robes and men in heavily decorated robes of their own carried tall, pure white candles and shining gold artifacts ahead of him.

Sam looked every bit the king you knew him to be. In the time since he’d left you in the care of his brother, Sam had donned a red sash embellished with the Winchester crest. A long navy robe trailed behind him, trimmed with white and composed of the richest velvet and fur you’d ever seen. His expression was grave and steady, though you knew his nerves hid deep down inside of him. Sam had told you how scared he was to be king. He didn’t want to let down his people or harm them in any way, but you had faith in him. All of Lawrence did, too. If they didn’t, his father wouldn’t have allowed him to be crowned king until it was absolutely necessary. Instead, John had made way for his son to take the throne at a much younger age than he had. In his last breaths, John had ordered for there to be no royal advisors or interim leaders in between his death and Sam’s ascension. It was only to be Sam leading the people, and you agreed wholeheartedly.

The ceremony passed quicker than you’d expected, and soon Dean was leading you across the dais to where Sam stood, newly crowned. He looked out over the visiting lords and ladies with the same serious expression as before, but when he turned to look at you, the sun shone through the stained glass in the massive basilica. You couldn’t help but smile back as he took your hand in his, bowed, and kissed the back of it. The gasps from the gathered crowd were but background noise as Sam lifted his head just enough to catch your eyes from below.

“My King,” you greeted. Your cheeks ached from the intensity of your own smile, but you couldn’t stop. The sun shone down upon you, casting colored shapes across Sam’s face and the robes that swirled around his feet like dark ocean waves.

“My heart,” he answered.

Thank you for reading! <3

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shallowseeker · 8 months

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okay so, yesterday I found your spn meta by chance and fell in love with them 'cause more than writing they're like images, like they really depict things and I just immediately understand what you mean instantly + I started to rewatch Steve Yockey's episodes 'cause I feel like I like his writing (lots of queer! lots of rom-com references! but it's all done so intellingently, I love it!) but ALSO sometimes it doesn't translate to me + I just saw you wrote about "Optimism"= I GOTTA ASK: what's your take on "Optimism"? I don't understand what the Zombie story and the Musca one should reveal about the characters. Visually, it looks like the Musca = Charlie, so Harper and the zombie are ??? I'm mad at myself 'cause I don't seem to get what the show is telling me so I'm hoping you can share what the show tells YOU and, vicariously, I can get it as well (lol). THANK YOU!

Hi! Hello!

Oh, really? That's so cool. I still have trouble thinking of myself as a "meta writer." I don't mean to be. I just like to ramble. But cool! It's probably mostly that we think alike and are sympatico in some key ways. :-) Always fun to find kindred spirits!

///

O P T I M I S M

I have so many thoughts on Optimism. It's one of my fave episodes! I actually did a re-watch-slash-convo with some friends on Discord and just transcribed the very, very, very LOOONG bulk of it today!

I haven't written much on the Musca. After spending a lot of time of @scoobydoodean's blog, I've just about decided the Musca plot is actually a Sam's emotions-through line more than it is a true dark mirror. Even AU Charlie is cheeky about it:

AU CHARLIE (annoyed at Sam, about the Musca): Your nifty metaphor has holes.

Basically, Charlie is saying that mirrors aren't one-to-one, and that trying to force-fit them into being one-to-one can be super annoying sometimes.

CHARLIE - Every two hundred years there is "bad egg". When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using peoples bodies to "nest". Binding them together with a viscous goo. And when the goo fits...

The Musca/fly is at face-value:

A) A bodysnatcher plot: In that regard, it could be like all angels, demons, or anyone inhabiting a body. (Cas, Lucifer, Michael, Crowley, etc.) Ergo, it's a dark, uncharitable Cas mirror the way Dave Mathers outlaw wraith was in Tombstone. It could be saying that Cas "failed" among "his own people" and cruelly took up space in a human body. But that would be grossly oversimplifying the whole situation, saying that Cas "should have stayed with his people," which ofc doesn't work.

It, as Charlie says, "has a lot of holes." @ilarual has written a lot about the totalitarian structure of Heaven. And Sam himself wants Cas around. As far as metaphors go, it's a dud for Cas.

B) It's a failure to thrive plot: Because the Musca "failed" in The Real World with its Own People, perhaps failed to live up to The prescriptive Dream of Success (TM), now it's wreaking havoc on others.

Sam himself "failed out" of Harvard. He "choked." Kevin Train and Patience Turner are also Failed Gifted Students. Losers who didn't live up to their potential. This could even apply to Chuck, binding together his characters because he's a Loser with a capital L.

///

ANYWAY, I feel like the Music plot is a "red herring" for a few reasons.

One: The main Harper plot is about breaking narratives, about not relying so much on books. And then Charlie says this:

CHARLIE: Goo. So, yeah. I'd say this is the right place. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what we are dealing with. Thus, books.

Aside: Later Cas says sarcastically in Ouroboros that Sam and Rowena, "Have many, many books."

So, there's this niggling indictment of trying to find too much truth in books...

///

Two: Sam has a tendency to see something and, like, imprint on it. He tends to fall into "It's just like me!" instead of speaking frankly about the present situations and emotions.

*In American Nightmare, he sees Madga Peterson, an abused child* -> "She's just like me!"

*In Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell, he sees someone lying about something completely unrelated to his current situation* ->"Omg, they're lying to them, like I'm lying to Dean! It's just like me!"

*In Lost & Found, he meets Jack Kline, who is Lucifer's son "OMG, he's just like me!" -> *spoiler alert* Jack is not in fact much like Sam at all. -> Sidenote: instead of speaking frankly about how Dean is grieving, how Lucifer killed Cas and likely killed Mary, he uses complex euphemisms with Jack, ones that actually obscure the reality of the situation! This winds up annoying Jack and making him pull away from Sam.

///

IMHO...Sam isn't...naturally all that great with emotions.

He tries really, really hard, and he loves patterns, but he's always seeming to force-fit situations and scenarios into neat little boxes so he can passively-aggressively use it to indirectly communicate something he feels about himself.

He has a very cognitive empathy style. Bless him.

///

So what's REALLY going on here?

Well. In this episode, he wants Charlie to stay. He wants Charlie to stay and fill a void the other Charlie left behind. He wants Charlie to stay really, really badly. And he beats around the bush about it.

At first, he sidesteps his own emotions by passive-aggressively implying that it's Dean that in fact needs her.

CHARLIE: He'll be fine. Your brother, I mean. He's got other friends, right? SAM: Plenty. Uhm, he used to have a pretty damn good wingman. CHARLIE: So call that guy to check on him. SAM: That guy was you. CHARLIE: No, it wasn't. SAM: Right, I, uh, sorry. I didn't mean that.

And then by trying to make the case fit her.

He's very indirect and weird about it. Because he's Sam. (It's a contrast to the effortless, awkward-but-honest communication style we see from characters like Jack and Dean in this very episode.)

SAM: Charlie, you can't just quit and go live on a mountain somewhere. People need people. CHARLIE: Why? Cause they're the luckiest people in the world? SAM: Look, come on. We just do. We're social animals. CHARLIE: Emphasis on animals. SAM: Yeah, but you're also a hunter. The things that we've seen, it's not so easy to just walk away from it all. Believe me, I've tried. Our Charlie tried. CHARLIE: Yeah, well again, she ain't me. It's my life, Sam. Not hers. And not yours.

Ah, yes. Instead of saying, “I want you here,” it’s, “people need people.”

And Hell, sometimes indirect communication works! Like how Dean and Cas use Felix the snake to indirectly communicate with Jack in Peace of Mind!

But the difference with Sam is...he's not using this indirect communication style to find out how Charlie feels (the way Dean and Cas use the snake to suss out how Jack feels).

No, he's using the whole thing to try to tell Charlie what he thinks is best for her! To tell her things, not find out things.

Eventually, he breaks and says what he actually thinks, but only after AU Charlie is starting to lose her patience with him:

SAM (faux-sadly): Got to say, I do feel kind of bad for the Musca. I mean, he could have been happy if he'd stayed with his people. Didn't have to go off on his own just because... CHARLIE (exasperated): Okay, I get it. I am just like the bug and I shouldn't go out on my own.

OMG, Sammy! It's okay if we want to hit Sam sometimes, right? I too wanted to hit him after he said this to Charlie.

CHALIE: But your nifty metaphor has holes. I wasn't looking for love. I found it and I lost it. And I didn't kill people and literally nest in their body parts so...(Scene cuts to other Musca removing the body of the dead one) SAM: Okay, yeah I know, I know, How about this? Don't leave.

(Aside// I think this is a cheeky nod to the fact that Cas and Dean weren't looking for love either. In fact, they tried (and keep trying) really, really hard not to love each other. Their real life was faaaar more complicated than some simple "bodysnatcher plot.")

But thank God--Sam finally says outright what he needed to say to Charlie: Don't leave.

Now, it probably would've been better if he's gone a step further: "I don't want you to leave," but for Sam, this is pretty good progress.

SAM: Hear me out. Sure some people can do bad things when they're desperate or scared. But the guy we just saved, he has a wife and children. I'm not saying that all people are good people or even that most people are but if we help people then maybe they'll help people and all that. And that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death. It's worth it. CHARLIE: Just to be super clear, I am not like the fly monster. (Sam chuckles) But, I'll think about staying.

So I think OVERALL the Musca plot is really about highlighting Sam's difficult communication style, and I think it's intentionally being cheeky about it how it's using a "really "dumb metaphor" with gaping holes!

It's about how Sam tries to force-fit the case of the week into saying what he wants it to say...instead of just saying it.

///

I think Sam has a little bit of a "mental main character syndrome." He sees a scenario and moves directly into cognitive empathy, reading the situation and thinking:

How can I apply this to myself? Or make it a stand-in for either something I want to believe about myself or a stand-in for something I want to say indirectly?

Sometimes you'll see ppl insist that Sam is the "MC" because every storyline tells you "something about Sam." But I'm more in the camp that it's Sam's inherent cognitive style of empathy at work, desperately reworking anything and everything to make it apply to himself.

Whereas Cas and Dean (and Jack) have a truer emotional style of empathy, connecting with people for who they actually are, as they are.

That's not to say that both styles can't be manipulative when we want them to be. But Sam really struggles with his style in a way I feel like Dean and Cas do not. Dean and Cas perhaps don't even realize what effective communicators they actually are!

///

My other thoughts on Optimism:

#asks #sam stuff #spn optimism #harper sayles #jack stuff #jack kline #spn season 14 #spn 14x06 #spn steve yockey #jack relationships

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hexedwinchester · 3 months

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hey. I am thinking of starting Walker. What should I expect? Is Jared's character like Sam?

hi confused noni...

I'll be honest, even I was nervous about starting Walker because I was worried that after playing Sam for 15 years, I'm going to see him bleed into this new show. But it didn't happen. Not once.

Though on the surface, Walker is a cop show, at its core, it's about family and friendship. If you enjoy that sort of theme, this is a show you can consider watching.

I was hooked right away and it's refreshing to see Jared play this smart but reckless at times and loyal to a fault character. You also get to see him stuff his face with tacos, chilli and steak more often. If you are like me who wanted Sam to have a daughter in SPN, Walker kinda give you AU for that. Oh and did I mention there are few SPN Easter eggs too?

The story doesn't solely revolve around Walker. It includes side plots for other cast members too. In this way you don't get consumed by single character trauma.

If you are someone that has seen the OG Walker, I know this show didn't appeal to them. Since I haven't, I can't comment on that.

All in all, it's refreshing and you should go in with an open mind... :)

#Walker #cordell walker #Jared girl #Jared Padalecki #inbox asks #ask me anything

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lol-jackles · 4 months

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Either the episode was written by a SPN fan or CBS is testing the waters to see if "Supernatural" without the actual supernatural could work in Tracker by adding Dean 2.0 as a recurring character.

The ep was (at least partly) written by Elwood Reid - the same EP/writer from BS who was a Jensen groupie. He's also an EP/writer on Tracker (part of why it was so easy for Jensen to be on). ER also talked him up a LOT when he was on BS, acting like Jensen was some A-list actor who just happened to deign to visit their set. He (and Jensen) is why there were really blatant SPN Easter eggs in BS too (remember how AAs praised Jensen for writing/adding the lines on his own, completely ignoring and discrediting writers, meanwhile any time Jared even breaths near something that could be tangentially related to SPN on the Walker set those same idiots tell him he has zero claim on his own show he was lead on for 15 years and isn't allowed).

As for why is was all so very "dean", well that (according to Jensen himself) was Jensen's choice:

https://x.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808858505888136

I know we get dude in #Tracker tonight, so a little story. I wore my “I Miss Dean” shirt to the brewery event last weekend and as soon as dude saw it he was like “you know that episode of Tracker I did? I asked how they saw me playing it and they told me to do what I know best. So if you miss Dean, you’re going to get quite a bit of Dean on Tracker because he’s what I do best.” So it was a conscious choice and I am so excited by this.

He literally claimed they asked him how he wanted to play it and he said "just like Dean because I'm a one trick pony" (paraphrasing but I think the intent is still the same lol).

Link. Right, you reminded me it was mentioned here a few weeks ago that Elwood Reid was the showrunner of Big Sky in season 2 & 3 as well as it’s writer/executive producer. The Elwood Reid Inc is one of the production companies behind Tracker.

Jensen could end up on Tracker regardless if there is a 35 day rating bump or not and if other producers are game. Granted I've only seen the pilot what seems like many moons ago, but a Dean Winchester doesn't seem like it would fit in Tracker.

I really need to read Elwood's talking up Jensen, do you have the source? It sounds like Eric Kripke's kind of hype talk over Jensen's jarring cameo on Gen V.

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eisforeidolon · 1 year

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I love SPN, top to bottom. But it was a show that was never subtle. The characters could speak Latin, Enochian, hunter lingo, but subtly was never one of those languages. Remember Jerry Wanek saying he put a fun sort of Easter egg in the set design of Naomi’s office. Hellers screamed bi colors, and Jerry was like “no… there’s just some crosses over there.” Then that gets into the whole “bi-lighting”, which isn’t a real thing and just some wank Sherlock shippers made up.

Yeah, the thing is, even when SPN had subtle undertones, they were just adding depth and reinforcement of the already present and clear narrative. But even in a story more subtle than SPN, where hidden hints at upcoming twists play a larger part? No writer would tell a completely separate story that ONLY takes place in disjointed moments of "subtext" with no relation to the main narrative. Yet that's what hellers kept expecting and petitioning for.

Fifteen years debut to finale, the seasons all revolved around the brothers relationship at the core. But but but the lighting is ~*bisexual*~! But but but Dean ate cake! But but but Castiel wasn't there and wasn't even mentioned, so it was clearly all about how much Sam & Dean needed him! But but but the codependency was randomly broken off-screen to make way for focus on a different relationship because reasons!

Tell me you don't know how storytelling works without telling me. And yeah, the example from Naomi's office is so demonstrative. The crosses are right fucking there, but that wasn't what they wanted to see, so they kept looking till they found something they could interpret to mean what they wanted to find and fixated on it.

#destihellers #anonymous #askboxery

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coppernickeldime · 9 months

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Fast Car - Pt. 1?

A/N: Okay, I'm totally new to Tumblr (only been here a couple months and have just been binging all the great spn content on here). Let me know if I'm not doing this right, haha. I haven't written fanfiction in like seven years, but this is just an au that popped in my head today and I just had to write it. I mean checkoutclerk!dean??? I'm also new to writing Destiel so any tips are appreciated.

Let me know if you even like this? This is all I've written so far, but if yall think it's worth it maybe I'll dig around and turn it into a full-fledged story.

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Castiel Novak

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None really, a little fluff? Alternate Universe

Summary: Castiel, a journalist just recently relocated to Lawrence, begins having run-ins with the new super-hot grocery store clerk. Both Castiel and Dean have a lot going on in their lives. With Castiel fighting to earn the big writing gigs under his family's broadcasting company and Dean working at the grocery store when he gets off from Bobby's garage in order to have money to send to Sam each week, can they find time to figure out what's going on with this chemistry between them? Not to mention that Dean is just beginning to realize his own sexuality.

Here we go:

"C'mon, little bro. You just gotta wait your turn. You know how it is. You're the lowest on the totem pole right now," Gabriel encouraged through the phone.

"Well, it would be nice if I had a little money left over after paying rent," Castiel grumbled as he grabbed a shopping basket at the entrance of the local Piggly Wiggly. "I was under the impression there would be perks to working for family."

"There are! You just gotta wait it out. Before you know it, you'll be like me. Traveling the world to write the big stories," Gabriel said. Castiel rolled his eyes and huffed a little, turning the corner to begin examining the fruit selection even though he knew he couldn't afford any of the produce there.

When he didn't say anything after a moment, Gabriel continued, "Alright, I gotta get going. There are two very hot ladies who should be showing up at my hotel room any minute now. Adios!" The line went dead before Castiel could reply. With another huff, he flipped his phone closed and shoved it in the pocket of his trench coat.

It had been a long day. Well, actually, it had been a long year. Castiel was under the impression that once he finally made it out of school, he could start getting real journalism experience by working for his distant relative's big time news company.

Heavenly Hosts Broadcast Company was not only the largest broadcasting company in Kansas, but the most well-respected. Though it mainly operated out of Kansas City, the company also owned several smaller stations and newspapers throughout the state. After graduating school, Castiel had been surprised to find out that he would have to move to small-town Lawrence in order to be hired as a writer for HHBC, but he felt he had no room to argue being only a distant relative of the company founder. He was thankful to be working under the well-known company at all; it was better than some of the incredibly small newspapers some of his classmates had ended up at.

However, he realized very quickly just how lonely Lawrence was for him. He had no friends or family there to accompany him, nor any peers who were interested in the same field as he was like he had become accustomed to in college.

Castiel woke up at six AM sharp every morning, had coffee with two over-easy eggs, and headed off to work. Once he got to the news station, he said a polite hello to the receptionist, Hannah, and headed to his office. That was where he spent most of his day, answering emails and researching whatever stories were handed off to him.

Unfortunately, most of the stories he received lacked any real excitement. He thought that after a few months he would be entrusted with stronger headlines, but it had been just the opposite. This was why, after receiving the task of writing an article about the local school cafeteria food from his boss Zach, Castiel found himself graveling to his brother about his low-pay and meaningless work.

He probably shouldn't have even called Gabriel, but who else was there to complain to?

While he shopped, Castiel stewed on all of these things and wracked his brain for any ideas of how to make school lunches remotely interesting. He made his way mindlessly through the store, filling his cart with the same items he bought every week.

"Not much of a chef, are ya'?" A strong voice broke Castiel from his stupor. He blinked repeatedly, suddenly unaware of how he even made it to the counter and added his items to the conveyor. He supposed he was too wrapped up in his thoughts on whether or not it would be acceptable to turn his school-lunch article into something political about how all student lunches should be free.

"I'm sorry?" Castiel asked as he looked up from his groceries. His eyes widened slightly as he met the gaze of the young man behind the counter.

The man chuckled lightly as Castiel's confusion, and Castiel found the corners of his own mouth turning up in response. He wasn't sure what was so funny, but just the sound of this man's laugh made him want to join in. Castiel watched as small lines appeared next to the man's eyes, which he also noticed were a rather unfair shade of emerald. He was just a bit taller than Castiel with wide, broad shoulders, hidden by a dark gray Henley with the sleeves pulled up on his forearms. His store-issued apron hung over his chest quite nicely, Castiel thought, and he tried to avoid thinking about whatever the apron might be hiding of the lower parts of the man's body.

"It just doesn't look like you cook much," checkout-guy clarified, gesturing to the array of microwave meals and quick fixes adorning the conveyor. His words brought Castiel's eyes back up to his face, and that's when Castiel noticed the messily styled Ivy-League haircut as well as the freckles decorating the man's cheeks. He suddenly felt unable to speak.

After clearing his throat and feeling his cheeks flush, Castiel found his words, "Uh, yes. I'm afraid I'm not very well-versed in the culinary arts." A bewildered smile graced the checkout-guy's lips, one of his eyebrows raising.

"Yeah, I'd say so. You know, if you add some Sriracha and an egg to these, it makes them like ten times better?" Checkout-guy said as he held up the ten-pack of easy ramen Castiel had picked out.

"Is that so?" Castiel replied.

Checkout guy nodded thoughtfully, sliding the ramen over the scanner until it beeped before turning to place it in a plastic bag.

"Oh, wait," Castiel said hurriedly, turning towards his shopping cart. He pulled out two reusable shopping bags, one decorated with kittens holding rainbow flags and the other with the HHBC logo on it. Checkout-guy rose his eyebrows a bit as he took the bags, the corner of his mouth rising up in a smirk as he placed the ramen inside the kitten rainbow one.

"It was a gift," Castiel found himself saying, suddenly feeling defensive over the bags. Checkout-guy fully smiled then, shaking his head a bit.

"Hey, no criticism here," he replied, holding the palms of his hands up quickly before going back to scanning. He pointed at the HHBC logo, "Do you work for the station or something?"

Castiel nodded as he watched checkout-guy pay special attention to where he placed the loaf of bread. "Yeah, I'm a writer there."

"Oh yeah?" Checkout-guy said, his brow rising in what Castiel couldn't decide was impressed or shocked.

"Yeah, mostly just small stories for now."

"I get the feelin' you're not too excited about that," checkout-guy said with a small smile. "Is that what you were grumbling about the whole time you were shopping?"

Castiel felt heat rise in his cheeks for a second time. He glanced nervously around the store.

"You could hear me all the way up here?"

"What can I say, buddy," checkout-guy replied, the creases around his eyes showing again as he smiled. "It's almost closing time on a Tuesday. There's not really much else going on to drown out the sound of you talking to yourself."

Castiel realized that he was right; there weren't any other customers in the store and it looked like most of the employees had gone home as well. It was pretty quiet, other than the rock music playing over the store speakers in a low volume. Embarrassingly, Castiel hadn't even realized he had been talking to himself while he shopped, though he wasn't all that surprised considering how enveloped in his thoughts he had been. Plus, he buys the same cheap groceries every week, so waltzing around the store was basically muscle-memory at this point.

"I apologize, it's been a long day," he said as he adjusted his tie.

"Don't apologize, man. I get it," checkout-guy said as he clicked around on the register display. "Your total is twenty-nine thirty-five."

Castiel dug into the pocket of his slacks to retrieve his wallet, which he opened to find the last of his grocery money until his next pay day. There was only a twenty and a five-dollar bill.

Slightly flustered now for more than one reason, he spoke again, "I apologize again, but I'll have to ask you to take off the ramen and the jelly."

Checkout-guy's gaze turned from a look of amusement to something more serious. "How much are you short?" He asked, tapping his fingers mindlessly against the side of the register and leaning forward as if to get a peek in Castiel's wallet.

"I've just got twenty-five," Castiel said, a bit bashfully, and pulled out the bills and showed that his wallet was now empty. "It's alright though, I don't need those things anyway." He really didn't need to have those items, but jelly did make peanut butter sandwiches a lot more appealing, and the noodles were a great change of pace from Banquet microwave dinners.

Checkout-guy shook his head, his lips pursing as if he had already made some kind of decision.

"Nah, don't worry about it. The rest is on me, alright?"

"I couldn't ask you to--"

"You didn't ask," checkout-guy said, his smile returning. "I'm offering. Seriously, I had somebody pay for my coffee in the drive-through this morning. It's about time I return the favor."

Castiel eyed him, unsure if he was telling the truth or just trying to get him to accept the offer. The guy shrugged a bit and stared back at him with a confident smirk.

"Won't you get into trouble?" He asked after a moment.

"No way," checkout-guy assured. "If my drawer is short a few bucks, I'll just pay the balance. Plus, they like me too much around here for me to get into too much trouble." He winked at Castiel as he opened the cash register.

With warmth in his face and a cat-bitten tongue, Castiel handed over his money a bit begrudgingly. "Well, thank you," he managed finally. "That's very kind of you."

Checkout-guy laughed and shook his head, and Castiel wondered what he had said that was humorous.

"Alright, you're all set," the guy said as he handed Castiel his receipt. Their fingers brushed lightly as Castiel took the small slip of paper.

"Thank you, again," Castiel repeated as he began to grab his shopping bags.

"No problem," the guy said. "Have a good one."

Suddenly Castiel found himself wanting to stay in the store all night. He didn't want the sound of this guy's voice or his smile or the brush of his fingers to be over with so quickly.

Castiel nodded in parting and forced himself to walk out to the car.

***

Later that night, Castiel thought maybe he finally thought of a way to write an article about crappy school mashed-potatoes that was worth reading. He was feeling a bit more relaxed after his encounter at the grocery store, though a bit embarrassed about being so flustered by the attractive guy that worked there and being short on cash. Still, there was an ease in his chest that he hadn't felt in a long while, and he was beginning to think that if he could spin this article into something good, maybe he would finally be recognized for his hard-work.

After the groceries were put away, Castiel put on a record of the complete works of Mozart before heading back into the kitchen. As the instrumentals began to play in the background, Castiel loosened his tie before removing it and throwing it over the back of a kitchen chair. It was nearly nine o'clock by now, and he needed to eat something and get to bed.

He made his way around the kitchen quite smoothly, heating water in a pot on the stove while he opened a packet of ramen. As he stood there, watching and waiting for the water to boil, a thought occurred to him. Without much more consideration, he was pulling the eggs from the refrigerator. He had ten eggs left, which would leave him two for every work-day breakfast. After eyeing the water that was beginning to boil for a moment longer, he decided he'd rather be one breakfast-egg short and have a spruced up dinner in return.

So Castiel pulled another pot from the cabinet and filled it with enough water to submerge the egg. He added it to the stovetop, turning the heat on high and leaning against the counter.

He found himself thinking about the checkout-guy again. It had been a long time since he was romantically involved with anyone, so that had to have been why he was so caught of guard by the man's looks and playful personality. Not to mention his generosity, which Castiel was extremely thankful for as he added the noodles into the boiling water.

When the food was done, Castiel sat down at his little kitchen table. It was only big enough for two, but he didn't mind. He hardly ever had company, so the small setting was more than enough for him. He settled for a random hot sauce he found in the back of his refrigerator since he didn't have any Sriracha on hand. He was delighted to find that the checkout-guy had been right; the egg and hot sauce drastically improved the made-in-minutes noodles.

If he ran into the checkout-guy again, he would have to let him know he tried it and ask if he had any more cheap-food improvements.

***

As Dean locked the door to the Piggly Wiggly and began the walk to his car parked in the back of the parking lot, he found himself thinking about the dark-headed journalist that had came through just before close. At first, Dean had wondered if the guy was just a stick-up-his-ass businessman, but after talking with him, Dean decided that maybe the guy was just kind of clueless.

He was funny in a way Dean hadn't quite experienced before, with his talking to himself, frowns, and formal way with words. The guy's blue eyes were stuck in Dean's head, and he found himself wishing he had caught the guy's name.

He wasn't sure why he was so caught of guard by another guy. No use in worrying about it when he would probably never see the guy again, right?

#destiel #destiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #dean winchester x castiel #supernatural au #dean winchester #castiel #castiel novak #supernatural fic #spn fanfic

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canonicallysoulmates · 1 year

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Jensen and JDM Gold Panel NJCon 2023

Jared was not able to attend NJCon this weekend so in his place, we get two panels with JDM! I’m personally a big fan of Jeffrey so I’m glad he was able to do the boys this favor and attend the con to do the panels with Jensen. Also, you’re gonna see me use both JDM and Jeffrey interchangeably when referring to him.

The panel starts with Jeffrey saying that they’re trying to get their caffeine going and he mentions that he’s had 3 cokes already, Jensen doesn’t understand how he can drink that much soda when it has so much sugar in it and Jeffrey replies that he hears that every day from Hil and that the day previous he was driving and his daughter, George, who also loves coca-cola told him that Hil said he’s gonna pee rocks if he keeps drinking coke 😂

Jensen says he and Jeffrey still see each other and work on projects together 👀 But they can’t talk about it, and this is when he reveals that he actually got into trouble recently because of something he said about one of his upcoming projects at a con, he doesn’t reveal what it was, obviously, but he does say he got an e-mail basically telling him to shut up. And, JDM, shares that he had spoken to Karl Urban recently, and when he told him he’d be seeing Jensen at this con Karl told him he better talk to Kripke and see what he could say. Which they both say is basically nothing.

Getting into the questions, the first one is somebody wanting to know if they could say hi to their mom on video. They do, Jensen also makes a Walking Dead pun, Jared would be proud 😆

In several of their projects, there have been SPN easter eggs, how much of that is from the writers and how much of it is from them?

They say it’s a bit of both. Jensen says he thinks the show is a bit of an institution so a lot of the writers know at least of it. He asks Jeffrey if there were references that he threw in, Jeffrey replies that he threw in a couple in TWD that anytime he can throw in anything, and especially after Jensen did the thing with Lucille he was trying to work in any reference to his boy. So, Negan had a boy for a minute, and he says if you go back to s2 but I assume he meant his second season of being on TWD which would be s8 of that show if you go back and watch it he said it a couple of times and he thinks they kept it in thinking they’d use it but they never did.

Jensen mentions the salt easter egg from Big Sky. For those that have not seen Big Sky, one of the characters moves into a new home and Jensen’s character gifts them a loaf of bread so they never go hungry, and salt for protection, it’s a very fun little wink about SPN. But originally it was meant to be just the bread, Jensen is the one who asked the prop department for the salt and they ended up keeping it in, and they started also writing in little homages to SPN. He also mentions that he directed an episode of Walker and the writer for that episode was a big fan of SPN so she was writing in a lot of little easter eggs.

JDM adds that the cool thing is they've been lucky enough to be on shows like SPN, TWD, The Boys which are big shows that are gonna live on much longer than they are which is super cool because he doesn’t think there are a lot of shows that live in that category that are gonna go past the end date of the particular show so they’re lucky, and if they can work in those homages for the fans they will that it’s actually more fun for them. That they’re hoping someone gets the hint and puts them back in the show together. x

Is there anything new this year they would like to try, learn or accomplish?

Jeffrey would like to try to be home for more than a minute, that it’s been like three years solid of going from show to show. He thought this weekend would be the first weekend he’s had off in forever because he thought the con was next week.

Jensen would like to do a film! Says he doesn’t do a lot of movies, it’s a lot of series work so he doesn’t have time but right now he has some things for later in the year but he doesn’t have anything imminent, and he has a couple of tempting opportunities lined up. JDM comes in with some honesty saying the thing is that sometimes they’ll read the script and it’s not as good as you want it to be, one of the fans says that it’ll be better cause he’d be in it and he says he appreciates it but a piece of shit is a piece of shit. My man speaks facts.

Anyways, Jensen says he’d like to do something that’s a bit out of the box, still in the wheelhouse but flexing another muscle. Jeffrey asks him if by out of the box he means stretch it a little bit cause he did a good stretch going from Dean to Soldier Boy. Jensen would also maybe like to do another concert. x

Is there anything they do in their day-to-day life to make themselves laugh?

Jensen says he amuses himself all the time, that it happens sporadically but he can’t recall what it is that he does right now but it reminds him of a story about how Don Rickles was on a date, and across the restaurant was Frank Sinatra and Don went over and asked Frank to do him the favor of going over to his table because his date would love to meet him and he really wants to impress this girl and Frank agreed so he finishes his meal and as he’s leaving the restaurant he stops by Don’s table and says, ‘hey, Don, how you doing? It’s good to see you.’ and Don goes ‘Not now Frank, I’m in the middle of dinner.’ x

How did Jeffrey do the movie Fall? He answers that a couple of years ago, he did a movie called Heist and the same director called him in the middle of the pandemic and asked if he’d appear in the movie Fall, and that’s it. Jensen says that’s a common story, that’s largely how a lot of people in their industry get jobs it’s because they have a relationship with somebody, it is largely getting to work with people who know you and you already have a rapport with and they know they can rely on you. Jeffrey says that’s why it’s important to be a decent person, and Jensen agrees that reputation is important. No disrespect to both of these men, but we all know that’s a lie. x

With their schedules so busy how and who does the prioritizing? They have a team of people what’s called a camp and it consists of people like their lawyers, managers, publicists, their wives. When a project or opportunity comes up, it gets kicked around the whole group to decide if it’s a good thing, if it fits, if it should be done or passed, that it’s all usually carefully crafted. There might be times when you get a call from a director who you worked with on another movie asking if you’d like to be on another of their projects and you say yes cause it’s a good relationship but it usually doesn’t go without getting checked by several pairs of eyes.

JDM adds that sitting down to talk with their family is also important cause they gotta think about what’s best for them. But, Jensen says they also gotta listen to their gut and what their passionate about, he reveals he got pushback about doing Big Sky but it’s something he wanted to do so they signed off on it but he thinks coming off Soldier Boy they wanted him to do something grander but he was antsy. JDM says they both get antsy when they’re not working, especially when you have years working on the same show when that goes away and that routine is gone- they’re a mess no one wants to be around them including themselves. x

Who do they have to petition to get Jensen on Dancing with the Stars? Jeffrey gets so excited over this, he says he would sign that petition or for Jensen to be on the Masked Singer 😂

Jensen replies that he can't imagine how depressed he’d be if that’s where his career ended up. That hopefully he’s far away from that ever happening but you never know he might need that career resurrection at some point. Then he realizes he’s being a little too honest, and says that there are very talented people on that show but that he once heard someone say - and he insists he’s not the one who said this - but basically, someone referred to Dancing with the Stars as Dancing with I’ve only heard of them once, and for some reason that stuck with Jensen so he’s gonna stay away from that and stick to dancing in his living room. x

The next two are not questions, it’s a fan who wants to say thank you because they’ve been a fan for a very long time. And one who’s- I’m not sure I think it’s a family member of the fan’s birthday and they wanted to know if they could bring the person on stage and sing them a happy birthday, they can’t but they do wish them a happy birthday. x x

The last question is two-parter, have they watched One Tree Hill? And do they have a guilty pleasure song, movie, or series? Jeffrey loves Vanderpump Rules, it’s the one show he and Hil watch together, and he has never seen one episode of OTH. But the funny thing is he auditioned for the role of Keith Scott in the pilot of that show.

Jensen has seen a few episodes cause he started dating D when she was on the show. He’s not the target demo for that but he can see the draw. JDM says he was way old for it, he was almost 40. As for guilty pleasures, Jensen says he keeps a few movies on his iPad in case he’s on a plane and he’s bored and wants to watch something, he has a few different categories depending on his mood, but the one that always ends up popping up is Tropic Thunder. x

Jensen and JDM Gold Panel NJCon 2023

#jensen ackles #jeffrey dean morgan #noniwtv #mine #just for the record this is streamlined so i do suggest watching the panels if you want all the little things

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loserchildhotpants · 1 year

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4, 21 and 27 for Three Princes from the Ask Game ☆

skdfhjksjdhf hello friend!

4] What detail in Three Princes are you really proud of?

There are a lot of little details in Three Princes I'm really proud of! Mostly because they were 'mistakes' that I caught in time and then worked into the story.

So, because of the time period, I'd have to stop and re-evaluate basically every line I wrote, like 'does this make sense?? did [x] exist in 1912??' and most of the time, the answer was 'no' lol such as Dean's wrist watch - I wrote him as just wearing a wrist watch for a while bc I wanted to give him something that sort of personified his limited time to pursue his freedom, something on him that would be a constant reminder (and meaningful when it's on him versus when it's off and left in his room) - it was just gonna be a little easter egg (of which there are many in that fic), and then as I was writing, I was like '... wait did wrist watches exist? People only use pocket watches in the movie, I think' and i checked, and lo and behold, no, wrist watches for men did not exist at the time. Men used pocket watches, but wrist watches were a hot, new commodity for upper class ladies by 1912.

So, Dean likely wouldn't have one for himself, but it wasn't impossible that his mother wouldn't have had one in that universe based on the background I gave her, so i was like 'omg wait it can be a symbol for the limited time he has to let Cas rescue him, to rescue himself, but ALSO it can be a wink wink nudge nudge at him being queer, and the limited time he has to accept himself!'

There's lots of other little things; when picking character names, I chose Temesras for Amara by just researching what variations of the word 'darkness,' existed in proto-english, as a small easter egg to 'she's ancient, she's Thee Darkness,' and then there's Drozdov, which means 'blackbird' - an allusion to Cas' black wings/being a many feathered thing, but also of being something of a wounded outcast.

I had the Moon calendar for 1912 pulled up, there are details in that fic that no one will ever notice or care abt but *i* know skldhjf lmao

21] If you wrote a "missing scene" in Three Princes, what would it be?

The first thing that comes to mind is Sam and Rowena at the end (I'm gonna speak vaguely so as not to spoil it for anyone that hasn't read it yet) - the last scene w them is meant to spark doubt, in a way, bc you don't hear from either of them again, but that was a decision I'd made later on - there WAS a scene after Rowena leads Sam away, but I decided to cut it bc when it's Dean's POV, i wanted the reader to also feel sort of stressed out abt what Sam's fate ultimately had been. But the first 'missing scene' that comes to mind is that - in the chaos, out on the water, Sam and Rowena.

27] How long did it take to write Three Princes? Describe the process.

So, this was a long process! I first made the doc the day after my birthday last year, so October 24th 2022. I didn't start writing in it much until late November, though.

Now, @atomicteaparty really badly wanted a Titanic Destiel AU that was well-researched, and, bless her <3, she likes my writing and wanted it to be of that quality/voice. So, the process first started w me figuring out how much Real Life Event can I tastefully include without it feeling like... idk, like I was making light of a horrible tragedy, then how much of the movie's formula am I going to use, then how am I going to transmute the spn characters into OUR universe, into 1912, and make them recognizably themselves while still having completely different backstories.

I decided that no matter what I did w the real life event aspects, I wouldn't name real people. I don't begrudge folks that do that, i know it happened over a century ago, but something abt it for me personally felt icky, so i decided that ALL the characters i used had to be from spn or made up. Then I watched the movie. I watched the movie several times lmao and I saw that, the existing Titanic AUs for destiel always allot Cas as the Rose-insert, but I was like '... but Cas is the one that initially rescues DEAN! Dean should be the one trapped!' - I decided the suicide rescue was going to stay, and Dean would be my Rose-insert, but he'd still need to be *Dean.* And a young!Dean, too, this is pre-Stanford era Dean. This is early 20's Dean. So, not so hardened, but very disenchanted, loyal to his father - I built him a backstory that would make his personality make sense, and I kept key elements of his persona; he loves cars and car maintenance, he loves cowboys, he is v pretty and is aware of that, etc etc.

Tbh the hardest part of writing any of the characters was Dean. Dean, canonically, was raised by motel televisions - he's all pop-culture and quips. I had to allude to the 1912 equivalent of that, which is why I have him sing a song to himself (if you look up the song he sings when he has his first anxiety attack, you'll find that it was sort of the 1912 equivalent of being in the top 40 lol) and he calls Sam 'kid,' and you might notice that his formal language relaxes around Benny and Cas and Meg, like, once he's in the lower decks and he's allowed to be more himself, he uses lots of turns of phrases and is a little more crass or flirtatious, bc that's truer to who he actually is - so, he needed to use slang, but he also was not a complete street kid either, he's somewhere in between, and bc he really got to KNOW Mary before she died (bc in Three Princes, she dies when he's ~14), he's not AS hardened a soldier. He doesn't question John (at first), he's miserable like he is, and Mary's death still had to be the weight-bearing pillar that brings the whole castle down.

Making Dean still *sound* like Dean would sound in that time period was REALLY difficult. Lots of dialogue re-writes for that. Other than that, building Cas' backstory and making it make historical sense was the next biggest challenge. I needed him to be a soldier, but the only war that he would've possibly fought in was the Russian revolution, so Dean wasn't gonna be his first rebellion, which begged the question, what would Dean BE to him, then.

In the text of Titanic, the movie, Rose represents the upperclass, really, but the best of them - the well-intentioned, kind, unassuming/perhaps slightly ignorant be well-meaning upperclass, which Jack is the equal and opposite to; he represents all of the lower class, the less fortunate, the daring and selfish (by which i mean, he put pleasure before duty), the adventurous and free - which is why he's doomed to die.

I had to decide what Cas and Dean were going to personify here, so that the themes were clear, and then I needed to decide how Sam and Rowena would mirror that, so you could glean some foreshadowing abt what was to become of either couple by interactions had by both.

Ultimately, I decided that Dean personified Faith-In-People, while Cas personified Faith-In-The-Divine, and their narrative purposes would be to rekindle the missing faith in one another; Cas would restore Dean's faith in a higher power (which is why, ultimately, Dean is able to pray again), and Dean would restore Cas' faith in people.

Sam is Faith-In-Self, he's sure of what he wants, who he is, what he's capable of, that he understands everything he's seeing, and he's right! He's observant and self-assured, but he plays it safe; Rowena is his equal and opposite. She lacks faith in herself, she is NOT self-assured when they meet, but she plays the socialite game more dangerously. By the end, Rowena is self-assured, and Sam is humbled, but willing to play more dangerously.

Then ofc the dreaded time of picking a title skldjfhskf lmao strangely enough, this was one of the last Hard Decisions i needed to make; i had a few titles picked out, but i kept coming back to the conversation Cas carries at The Fancy Dinner, where he talks about the etymology of serendipity, which, ofc is a running theme throughout the fic. I decided on Three Princes bc, as Cas explains, in the original story, three princes keep finding things they weren't originally in search of - this is also why the POV switches are limited to Cas, Dean, and Sam (they're our three princes). Cas, Dean, and Sam operate as our unassuming princes that continue to find things they weren't originally in quest of.

Sam has simple, short-term goals; he wants to pet the fancy dogs, he wants to go on the tours, see the libraries - have an adventure. Dean is there to follow orders and do what he must as deemed by John. Cas has long-term goals to get to America, escape old demons, shake off his old life somehow and become someone new by virtue of being in a new place.

Sam instead finds a long-term goal; Rowena. He was just hanging out, having a good time, and then he sees a goddess walk in and is like 'oohhh the odds are NOT in my favor but i GOTTA.' Dean finds cause to deny orders and pursue his own happiness which was NOT in the script handed to him, and Cas experiences attraction and love for the first time completely unexpectedly, which ofc inherently changes him (something he acknowledges he's scared of, during the Friday Morning Breakfast he follows Dean to, when he first realizes he's Changing).

In the midst of writing Three Princes, my friend got really sick, so i flew out of state to help take care of her, and then ANOTHER friend had a crisis and i drove over multiple other states to fetch HER and get her to my other friend's place and keep everyone under the same roof where i could account for them lol launching two rescues was not a simple task, and it ate up 3 weeks i was SUPPOSED to be writing slkjdfhsjkdfh which is why the fic was MOSTLY completed by April 10th, when i started posting, but i couldn't finish editing and polishing before the 14th ; _ ; i lost nearly a month i had allotted for that sdkfjskdjh

And ofc the entire fic was beta'd by @pockypuck (Megh) who helped me keep everything tonally consistent, and historically accurate (to a degree, ofc, it's fic skdjhfkdsjf it's accurate enough that you'd have to be a REAL fuckin stickler to take issue w something in there).

I drafted the fic w Megh in bullet points, then inserted that into my Titanic AU Google Doc, used Outline Mode to keep track of everything, and just ran w it. So. This is an insanely long answer and tbh there's still even more that went into it skdfhskldhfd lmao it was a long process and it's a fic im ultimately really, really proud of so thank you so much for asking me abt it ; __ ; <3 it means so much to me!

asks for fic writers

#izupie #melanie answers stuff #destiel #deancas #samwena #Three Princes #melanie writes #my stuff #u talking to me abt this fic has genuinely been such a rewarding highlight of this journey im not even kidding #i was SO quiet abt the process and writing it for SO long and im still getting comments from folks that refuse to read the epilogue #or refuse to open the fic altogether bc of the no warnings which i Get but also ; n ;#i worked so hard!!!!#anyway #thank u for asking me stuff <3 #long post

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