#eileen is always present in my heart and my content

[castieldelamancha]

eileen insinuating she knows dean has feelings for cas and dean all embarrassed like "u noticed?" and eileen gives him a look "i am deaf not blind"

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[sneverussape]

we all have the hc that severus learned his manners from lucius, or at the very least, his fellow slytherins, but i’ll raise you this: what if he learned it from home, actually?

- the snapes may not be have been well-off but they also weren’t uncouth or uncultured

- in The Great Before (when tobias was not aware that severus was a wizard), their little family was quite happy and content. tobias loved on his wife and son and was fiercely devoted to them. he treated eileen like a queen and his son like a prince, and although money was tight, he made sure their basic needs were provided, instilling in severus early on a sense of family duty and honor

- my hc of tobias is he’s quite old-fashioned and had been raised by parents who wanted him to reach higher up on the social ladder, so manners and grace came automatically to him even as an adult, even when life got tougher. he was fastidious with his appearance: he habitually polished his shoes, made sure his hair was always neatly combed, and made sure his clothes were always neat and presented well. he opened doors for other people and never let eileen do any heavy lifting (unless she fought him for it, and he’d have to concede). severus mimicked his father from a young age, and at some point put pomade on his hair which only made tobias laugh.

- eileen was not as affectionate with her son, but also carried herself in a way that made the other neighborhood wives gossip. they talked about her having lofty ideals and hearing her speak in the plummy accent of the south when she thought they couldn’t hear her. she held her head high and nodded to others in greeting, as though she was a highborn. severus learned to sit and stand up straight, and as much as possible, look at other people when they’re talking to you. if they’re insecure it made them nervous and hopefully they never talk to you again; if they aren’t then you would have met a person who could hold their own in a conversation and therefore worthy of your time.

- the snapes also read. a lot. they had so many books. tobias was a tolkien fan. he read severus The Hobbit as a bedtime story before the boy could even understand what a hobbit was. eileen would pick up any reading material that would catch her fancy; there’s a battered copy of Gray’s Anatomy in their sitting room that severus has read from front to back, and several russian and polish paperbacks in the kitchen. when severus asked his parents questions they always had an answer. they weren’t always accurate but it comforted him as a child to feel that his parents knew a little bit of everything, and they were the smartest people in the world to him.

- after tobias knew about his magic, the neglect started. he stopped caring whether or not severus was presentable enough to go outside, that his hair was a little long and his clothes were a little dirty. he also stopped talking directly to severus unless it was to scold him about something, although more often than not, the scolding was half-hearted at best. it was also then that tobias and eileen started getting into rows that could be heard from the other street. they only did it behind the closed doors of their bedroom, but the walls were too thin to fully hide the fighting. severus learned to be invisible, to sneak about and out, to better acquaint himself with other children who turned him away because he was too strange or his family was too strange or their das didn’t want trouble with his da. he learned to pick up the slang on the street and lower his head, to hide behind his hair. he learned to hide.

(this isn’t really part of my regular hc of the snapes (it could be though, who knows) but i also wanted to cut the parents some slack. and tobias and eileen being well-mannered isn’t as strange a concept as it is tbh.) 

[slytherinsnekxvii]

this isn't my best work, but it's still pretty good for something i wrote when i was 15 after having a half a year of writer's block. anyways, ahem, presenting the fic in which severus says fuck it after the lake incident and just doesn't go back to hogwarts but potentially gets dragged into the war anyway despite living in the muggle world for like,, three years, part 1 (aka the only chapter i wrote bc my writer's block came back oops):

It starts simply, like most things do. It starts with a few words, tossed out without care and full of childish conviction. It escalates to brawls in the corridors and duels in the dungeons--if you could even call them that when it was four-on-one and most encounters left him reeling. It continues until he's twitchy and hypervigilant and awkward, always on the lookout for an attack, ready to bite before anyone could bite him.

It ends much the same. The events leading up to this are a production fit for the theatre, if the crowd is anything to by, but the ending itself is quite simple. Gasping for air near the shore of the Black Lake and battling a headache that hurts almost as much as the sharp press of his heart at the thought of what he'd done to Lily, he simply gives up. He picks himself up, tells himself this is the end of it and goes about collecting his belongings.

His wand comes to his hand easily enough with a mumbled Accio. His bag does, as well. Its contents, on the other hand, have to be collected by hand. His textbooks and ink are strewn beneath the tree, mostly, but the loose parchment and his quill are lost to the wind. He snatches up what he can find before someone gets it into their head to come further humiliate him and turns to head back into into the castle. Only to be smacked in the face by a bound sheaf of parchment and a quill. It's suspicious, and he's tempted to burn it then and there. It's his, but they were definitely scattered about the grounds two seconds ago. He doesn't burn it. He hesitates, puts it in his bag and returns to the castle, intent on making his way to Gryffindor Tower.

The apology doesn't go well. Lily isn't interested, refuses to hear it. He returns to the Slytherin dorms, drops into his bed and thanks Merlin that they'll be going home soon. Cokeworth is God-awful, but at least there's only one man trying to kill him there and only one woman for him to disappoint.

So, he waits it out. Spends his final classes looking over his shoulder and staring blankly at his parchment every time he remembers that they tried to kill him and they humiliated him and they got away with both. He shrinks into himself, avoiding the corridors at all costs, skipping meals to avoid being in the Great Hall and spends as much time as possible in the Library and the dusty old Potions Lab on the Fourth Floor that no one knows about, losing himself in research so he doesn't have to interact with his Housemates. He sits alone at the Leaving Feast, refuses to touch his plate until Evan Rosier falls into the seat next to him and bothers him into eating. The Headmaster dismisses them, says that they'll see each other come September and lets them filter out onto the train.

He ends up sharing a compartment with Mulciber, Avery and Rosier even though he's barely spoken to any of them since the incident. Evan needles him about everything and nothing the whole way to King's Cross, and when they get there, Evan claps him on shoulder and that's goodbye.

He gathers up his things, goes to meet his mother so they can Apparate home and not waste what little money they have on transport. Eileen's cheeks are sunken, her arms rail thin, her dress loose-fitting. He'd still rather see her than anyone even loosely affiliated with Hogwarts. She nods at him, he nods back. They go home.

He spends his summer making himself useful. He does odd jobs for the neighbours, is grudgingly polite to his father, takes care of his mother. By the time term rolls around, people are talking about that Snape boy. Strange, and quiet, too, but he works well, doesn't he? September first dawns bright and early, and Severus doesn't go back to Hogwarts.

He studies at home instead, nose buried in his mum's old books. He plants the few ingredients he has hidden away in his trunk at the back of the house and uses what grows to brew medicines and weedkillers and anything he can think of after experimenting a bit. Mr. and Mrs. Smith down the street both swear up and down he's working magic on their little garden and their old bones.

He feeds cats, delivers packages for the grocer, takes tables and nightstands home to cast Reparo on. Someone tells the pub owner about him, and the next thing he knows, he's frying chips and learning how to mix drinks even though the most complicated thing anyone ever orders is a pint of the beer that they have on tap.

It's not a bad existence. Eventually, slowly, his mother starts coming back to herself. She takes over the brewing when he isn't around. Annotates his annotations and even makes a trip to Diagon Alley for more ingredients to add to their garden when Severus forgets to write Narcissa to ask her to send a few more.

Severus is old enough now to drag his father home from the pub behind him when he's done working. One evening, they come home and Tobias nearly trips over the end table that Severus is meant to be fixing for Mr. Williams three houses up. Severus works his wand out of his boot and goes to cast a spell, but Tobias grumbles and bats his hand away. Drunk as he is, he still digs out his toolbox and gets to work. The job turns out almost decent.

By December, Severus is at the pub, feeding cats on his break and making deliveries when he has the time. Eileen is brewing and Tobias is doing carpenter's work fixing and building wardrobes, cupboards, cabinets and everything else. It keeps him busy enough that some days he doesn't see a drink at all. It's not much, but there's a little food on the table at the end of each day, and Severus thinks that he's probably better off than he would have been at Hogwarts.

Sometime around Christmas, his mother talks him into getting a Muggle education and writing his NEWTs. He writes the O-Levels for his Muggle exams in January. They're a breeze, given how well-read he is. He sees Petunia at the store shortly after, and she sneers vaguely in his direction. He hears her condescending voice in the back of his head and decides to sit the A-Levels in May out of spite.

His birthday comes and goes, the NEWTs come right after and he aces each and every one of the written exams. The practicals are spread out across the following weeks, and he's leaving the Ministry after his last exam to find that the date coincides with that of a field trip for the Sixth Years at Hogwarts.

He watches them a little, tearing his gaze away after he catches sight of a tanned arm draped over a shoulder touched by a red braid. The students mill near the doors for a while and so, Severus looks around for escape routes, eyes skipping hurriedly from door to door until they rest on a Ravenclaw who'd also taken the January NEWTs. All kinds of people had been there, adults who hadn't passed when they were younger and needed to retake the exams to get jobs, teenagers who had family fortunes waiting for them whose parents wanted them to at least look like they were competent, and overachievers--like Severus assumed the Ravenclaw was--who wanted to know where they stood before the actual exam. He jerks his chin toward another door, this one proclaiming to lead to the "Apparition Division". Severus nods once at him and makes his way toward it.

There's a one-day course for Apparition, apparently. The woman at the receptionist desk doesn't even bother looking at him, just points him in the direction of the Training Room with her nail file. He stays for nearly the rest of the day, until they're finally done. He gets his license and is quietly pleased to see that the building is nearly devoid of life when he leaves. He goes home.

May and June come around and bring with them the A-Levels. He finds them only marginally more challenging than his O-Levels and returns to his routine. It's a nice routine, which takes him all the way through to July of the next year when Lily starts coming in with Black and Potter and Pettigrew and Lupin. The first time it happens, he leaves the counter so fast that the patron he'd just given a glass of water to is convinced he teleported. He's already taken his regular break to go feed Mrs. Jones' cats, so he steps into the kitchen and tells Jimmy he's taking a smoke break. Jimmy snorts and reminds him that he doesn't smoke.

He fidgets, trying to think up a way to avoid going back out, when the ruckus they're making makes Jimmy look through the little window and see the lot of them crowded around a little table. He gets a peculiar look on face for a bit, before he asks Severus if they have something to do with why he doesn't go to his fancy school anymore. He doesn't need an answer, just tells him to keep an eye on the food and steps out to man the counter. Severus stays late, frying chips and washing dishes until the early hours of the morning when Jimmy pats him on the back and kicks him out.

It keeps up until September comes around, and by then, Severus has taken so many smoke breaks that he's actually started smoking. He keeps smoking long after they're gone.

He goes back to his routine until it's broken again by a letter that comes by owl. It's a short letter, coming from a Potions Master whose apprentice had been overseeing the exams. It claims that his work was the best either of them had seen in years and after asking around, they'd found that he was unbound to any Master and was highly recommended by the Malfoys. It ends with an offer. Severus would think himself foolish not to accept, so, he does. After that, two days a week are dedicated to Flooing to Master Diogene's laboratory to fulfil the requirements of his apprenticeship. It finds its own little nook in his routine and so he continues until June of 1980.

He's preparing to go to the pub when there's a knock at the door. It's not so uncommon anymore, so he thinks nothing of it, only that he hopes it doesn't take too long. His shift starts in half an hour. He pushes his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, where they perpetually are these days, and decides he'll roll them up properly later. He opens the door.

"Good afternoon," a very pregnant Lily says, and standing next to her is the Ravenclaw from the Ministry, back straight, arms clasped behind his back, his entire being alert.

"Good afternoon," he replies, awkward. After a long moment of silence, he asks, "Can I help you?"

"Depends on whether or not you let us in," she says.

Wordlessly, he steps aside, sliding the three pairs of shoes nearer to the wall in order to let them pass. "Do you want tea?"

"No," she says, at the exact same time her Auror friend says, "Thank you."

He gestures them into the little kitchen, where they sit at the little table where he and his mother and his father take their meals. He tugs his wand out of his boot, flicks it so that the cauldron bubbling away on the stove scoots aside but doesn't spill. The burner beneath lights on its own. He puts the kettle, already full, on to boil. "So," he begins, absentmindedly rolling up his sleeves. "Is there something you need from me?"

Lily smiles, strained. "Can't I just visit an old friend?"

"Sure," he says, quietly. "You made it very clear that you would prefer if we weren't, though."

Her expression twists. "And with good reason," she grits.

He says nothing. The kettle whistles. He searches for the boxes of tea, sets about mixing two cups of mint. He puts them both on a tray with milk and sugar, as well as the small container of honey kept for special occasions. He puts it on the table.

"I'm sorry."

She doesn't say anything, just watches him with bright, green eyes aflame with old anger. She picks up one of the teacups and starts doctoring it to her liking. Her Auror friend follows suit. It really is obvious, Severus thinks, watching the man scan the room from top to bottom, corner to corner. He sighs. "Why are you here, Lily?"

She glares at her tea. The Auror shifts uncomfortably. Severus sighs again. "You know, when people visit old friends, they usually don't bring Aurors with them."

"Trainee, actually. This is my last year." He grins sheepishly. "That obvious?"

Severus nods.

He leans over the table, stretches out a hand. His right, Severus notices. He leans over and shakes with his left.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt," the Auror trainee introduces himself.

"Severus Snape, but you already knew that."

"Ah, yes. Of course."

Lily continues to glare at her tea. Shacklebolt fidgets. Severus stares, adjusts the heat on the burner below the cauldron. Silence prevails. The door creaks open, just then, and Eileen comes in, stirring rod in hand. "You'll be late if--oh," she says, noticing their guests. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," the other three respond with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Evans. It's been quite a while, hasn't it? You look well," Eileen says, nudging her son out of the way so she can poke at the mixture in the cauldron.

"You as well," Lily mumbles. "And it's, ah, it's Potter now, actually. Lily Evans Potter."

"Ah, I see. My mistake. Congratulations are in order, then, Mrs. Potter."

"Congratulations," Severus echoes.

"And you're a Shacklebolt, yes?" Eileen continues, her hands methodically sprinkling ground lavender into the cauldron. "Elodie's son, I should think. You resemble her quite a bit."

"Yes, ma'am," the trainee replies. "Grandmother says I'm nearly a carbon copy."

Eileen hums, lowers the heat under the cauldron. She takes out the stirring rod, examining the clinging lavender paste before wiping it off and placing it on the counter. "I suppose I'll leave you it, though Doris just passed, and she said that Jimmy has a full house, so, do try to hurry. It's already nearly four."

"Yes, Mam."

She leaves, and once more, silence settles over the small kitchen. Severus looks at the clock on the wall, sees that it does, indeed, say that it's minutes to four. Eleven minutes, to be exact, and it's a ten minute walk to the pub. He starts gathering the tea things, has just taken Shacklebolt's empty teacup when Lily clears her throat.

"Are you a Death Eater?" she asks.

"No," Severus tells her, and takes her teacup. Ten minutes to four.

"Prove it," she says, glaring.

Severus sets down the tray and leans across the table, arms outstretched, palms up, forearms exposed. The skin on either arm is pale, smooth and utterly unmarked, save and except for the scars one is bound to get when their preferred work involves knives and hot cauldrons.

"You keep regular contact with Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, as well as Regulus Black and Evan Rosier, all of whom are suspected Death Eaters. Why?"

Severus' eyes narrow. "Lucius is sponsoring my Potions Mastery. Narcissa, for whatever reason, enjoys my conversation. Regulus and Evan both seem to think that I'll drop dead if I don't speak to them at least once a week and I haven't been able to disabuse them of the notion--though, not for lack of trying."

"So, you aren't planning to become a Death Eater?" Seven minutes to four.

"I'm not," Severus says, biting down on something rising in his chest. He returns the tea things to their proper places, washes the cups and sets them to dry. When he looks at them again, Lily's glare has softened into an unwavering stare.

"Are you certain?" she asks, and Severus grits his teeth.

"Oh, no, not at all. I only left the Wizarding World to live in a Muggle neighbourhood with my Muggle father, work for a Muggle and feed old ladies' cats and fix their husbands' cabinets because I thought it would make it easier for me when I decided I wanted to murder them all. Obviously," he snaps, throat closing around the words as soon they've been forced out of his mouth. His jaw clamps shut. Three minutes to four.

"You're being an a—" she starts, but then she bites her tongue. "Why... why did you leave?"

He stands silent for a moment. "Reasons I don't believe we have time to discuss. It appears that I'm late for work, I'm afraid." The clock reads three fifty-nine. By the time, he reaches the front door, it will be four o' clock. He starts walking.

"But–" Lily begins, standing.

He gestures them onto the porch while he shoves his feet into his boots. "Terribly sorry to leave in a hurry like this, but duty calls. Things to do, people to see. Enjoy your evening, Mrs. Potter. Auror Trainee Shacklebolt." Four o' clock.

"Really–"

"Until next time, Mr. Snape," Shacklebolt interjects, and with a stiff nod, he and Lily make their way towards the Apparition Point they'd used and Severus is walking down the street. He exhales, slowly, carefully at the quiet, telltale crack of Disapparition off in the distance. He picks up the pace and hopes that'll be the end of it. He knows it won't, though. Until next time, Shacklebolt said.

It isn't the end, of course. It never is. There's a knock at the door just before he's ready to leave the next afternoon, and he contemplates just not answering the door and staying at home for the foreseeable future. There's enough food to last at least a week, and he could always just tell Mrs. Havisham that he wasn't feeling well. The news would make it around the town and back within the day. The knock sounds again. He sighs and gets up to go answer it. "Can I help you?"

"Only if you want to. May I come in?" Shacklebolt asks.

Against his better judgement, Severus lets him in.

[jawritter]

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Chapter 8

Summary: Dean never realized that Y/N missed Christmas until he turned off an annoying Christmas song on the radio on the way home from a hunt, now he will make it his personal mission to give her the Christmas he misses so much, and if he plays his cards right, maybe he will give her what he has wanted to give her for so many years, himself.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo​​​​​​​

Square Field: Sam

Word Count: 1413

Warnings: Fluff, mild language.

A/N: This is to help me catch up on my SPN Christmas Bingo card lol Chapter 9 will post tomorrow! I knew chapter will post every day until Christmas! I know I’m insane lol. This is a real time fic collection and all mistakes will be my own! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy these!!

**SERIES MASTERLIST**  **MASTERLIST**   **BECOME A PATREON**

You take a deep breath and wipe your hands on the apron that covers your flannel and jeans. Delicious smells of Turkey and all the fixing were filling the cabin now gave off a warm and rich atmosphere to accent the twinkling Christmas tree and decorations that Dean and yourself had spent most of the day yesterday putting up throughout the cabin. 

 You give the place one last look around, making sure everything was as it should be before Sam and Eileen arrive later today. 

The snow had stopped yesterday, and the snowplows came through late last night, clearing the roads and making them passable again for everyone. The sun had even come out today, and it was a good deal warmer than it had been since you had arrived, but it was still cold enough to require the fireplace to be going in the living room, adding to the oven to keep the little cabin warm. 

Dean had worked alongside you all morning, helping you cook and helping you get the cabin clean and presentable. He seemed excited to have Sam come over, though both of you were a little worried about what exactly he deemed so important that he’d have to drive all this way to talk to the two of you about. 

“Damn Baby it smells awesome in here,” Dean said, stepping into the small kitchen and wrapping his arms around your middle, giving you a peck on the cheek.

Dean had been a lot more cuddly since he’d kissed you yesterday morning. Neither of you discussed it. Neither of you felt the need to. One thing you did know was that a line had been breached between you, and there was no going back. He even slept with his arm slung loosely over your hip last night. Something he hadn’t done up until this point. 

“Thank you, but you had a hand in that too Winchester,” you tease, turning in his arms to face him, hoping he’d lean down and capture your lips in his again.

You couldn’t get enough of him. It was sickening how giddy he made you every time he slipped by and decided to brush his lips over yours, but you didn’t care, not even a little bit. He made you feel things you never thought as a hunter you’d ever get to feel, and you were going to enjoy this, however long it lasted. 

“That was mostly you, baby girl. I just washed dishes and cut up vegetables,” he said, pecking your lips again before letting go of you so that you could go and check on the little turkey you were cooking. 

Day 6 had to be the most exciting day yet. Dean had planned on taking you sledding today, but this brought back an air of nostalgia you never realized you were missing. Cooking Christmas dinner for family was something your mom did every year, and it was something you always dreamed of doing when you had your own family as a child. 

Dean and Sam were your family, as close to one as you would ever have anyway, and this is something you had always wanted to do for them. 

“Sammy should be here any minute,” Dean said, checking the door again and peaking through the blinds. 

“Give him some time babe, that was a lot of snow that fell over the last few days.”

You didn’t even have time to pull the turkey out of the oven when Dean announced excitedly, “they’re here,” before opening the door and walking out to meet them. 

You pull the apron over your head and make your way to the door, watching as Dean greets his little brother before reaching to hug Eileen. He was happier than you had ever seen him. He was smiling and laughing as they made their way up the driveway towards the little cabin, you can’t remember the last time Dean laughed like this. It made you smile just seeing him this happy, this content. 

“Hey Y/N,” Sam greeted you as he stepped inside, Eileen doing the same. “You guys have been busy.” 

Sam looks around slack-jawed at your handy work along with Dean’s as he walks through the cabin. Dean smiled proudly, wrapping his arm around you, giving a peck on the cheek as he followed his little brother over the couch.

“So, you guys are a thing now?” Eileen asks Dean, raising an eyebrow as she took a seat next to Sam. Dean smiled up at you as you sat down next to Dean, his hand automatically reaching for yours. 

“Well, we haven’t really put a title on it, but if she will have me…”

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried Winchester now,” you tease him, and you swore you saw him blush. Sam saw it too. 

“Oh God, Dean I thought you weren’t into chick flick moments. For the past few days you’ve been literally living in a Hallmark movie,” Sam teased, earning a scowl from Dean. 

“Leave him be Sam!” Eileen scolds. 

“So, what’s got you two love birds driving all the way out here just to tell us something, you know I’m not gonna be able to eat with the elephant in the room, so spill,” Dean says, directing the conversation away from the two of you. 

“Dean, you could eat any time, and it wouldn’t faze you,” Sam says sarcastically. “I don’t see any reason to make them wait any longer though, we’ve made them wait all night as it is?” 

Eileen grinned widely as Sam signed to her. 

“Oh boy, I’m not gonna be an uncle am I?” Dean asks, shifting nervously in his seat. The man had fought monsters most people wouldn’t dream of, but here he was, getting nervous about his baby brother having a baby.

“No! Nothing like that!” Sam exclaims. “Show them, Baby.”

Eileen proudly holds out her left hand with a small, vintage-looking diamond ring sitting snugly on her ring finger. “We’re getting married,” she tells the two of you excitedly.

Dean’s jaw hits the floor, and you squeal excitedly, jumping up and hugging Eileen as Dean gets to his feet and does the same to Sam. 

“Congratulations man! It’s about damn time!” 

“Well, like you said, she knows life. Chuck’s gone, I’m not getting any younger, we’re back to hunting monsters and not fighting the end of the world, I figured why wait?”

Dean smiled almost like a proud father as he looked at his baby brother. For the first time, he felt like he could let Sam go. All these years he had protected him. It was his job from a young age, but seeing how happy the two of them were, he knew it was time to step back and let Eileen take his place. 

Before anyone knew it dinner was devoured, the wine was drank, laughs and memories were made. Eileen had even brought you and Dean a Christmas present since the two of you were staying at the cabin through Christmas, and it was time to say goodbye. 

You hugged them both, allowing Dean to walk out to the car with them alone, going to finish the last little bit of clean up in the kitchen with your heart fuller than you could remember in a long time. 

“You look happy Dean,” Sam said after helping Eileen climb back into the car. “I mean, really happy.” 

Dean smiled a little and nodded. Looking back towards the cabin, seeing you in the kitchen window wiping down the counter. “She makes me happy.”

“It looks good on you,” Sam said, opening the driver’s side door. “SHE looks good on you.”

“Bye Sammy,” Dean said as his brother gave him a nod and shut the door before backing down the driveway and off into the dark, going to a hotel for the night he assumed before driving home to the bunker tomorrow when it was a little safer out. 

Dean’s eyes traveled back to you, and you smiled at him through the fog stained window. Sam found his person, and Dean was more and more convinced every day he’d found his. Now it was just a matter of taking that step. 

Tonight as you climbed into bed together, Dean tucking you safely into his arms after kissing you goodnight, he felt whole, for the first time since he’d been pulled out of Hell he felt whole. Sure, he’d lost some damn good people he’d never get back along the way, but you were putting him slowly back together again, little bit by little bit.

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Series Tag List: @440mxs-wife​

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summertime mindset - epilogue

date night & declarations

masterlist for summertime mindset

Timing is hard to get right and summer doesn’t last forever. You and Tyson learn the hard way.

word count: 2.2k

note from the writer: it’s finally over. also Come On Eileen just came on while im writing this rn which was mentioned no less than twice in this series is this a sign. anyways, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

SUMMERTIME

“Close your eyes.”

“Tyson, if you let me trip.” You warned, a slightly nervous chuckle falling past your lips. Tyson laughed loudly, and you smiled at the sound. It was date night, apparently, and he had something set up somewhere. You assumed your aunt’s backyard, because Michael had been tasked with keeping you out of the house. As much as you loved your cousin’s boyfriend, he was not subtle at all, and about fifteen minutes into grabbing ice cream with him, you realized something was up.

So when Michael went to drop you off at your aunt’s house and you found Tyson standing in the driveway, you weren’t totally shocked. He was dressed nice, a pair of jeans and a sweater you had never seen him in before. Even his hair was styled. When you pulled into the driveway, he opened your door, gave you a kiss, handed you the bouquet of flowers, and told you to close your eyes.

“C’mon, just do it.” He grinned, holding your free hand. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rachel and Kacey looking out the window of your aunt’s living room, both giving you a thumbs up. Michael had already slipped inside, so with one last teasing glare at Tyson, you complied. “We’re going out back.” He explained, though you could tell that from the direction he was leading you.

“What do you have planned, Jost?” You teased, trying to focus on your footsteps and not tripping on anything, but it was a little difficult when your head felt as light as it did when Tyson squeezed your hand and laughed as melodic as he did.

“No peeking!” He told you instead of answering your question, and you held your tongue, knowing that you were not going to win this battle. You let him lead you further into your aunt’s backyard, and you realized he was taking you to the gazebo at the end of the yard. Tyson finally stopped walking you, and moved to stand beside you, his hand held tightly in yours still. “Okay, open your eyes.”

You did as you were told, and your eyes immediately widened in shock. The gazebo had been decorated with fairy lights and candles, and in the center there was a table completely set with what looked to be a homemade meal. It took you a moment to take in everything, how good it looked and how moved you were that he had put so much effort into it.

“Tyson…” You trailed off, at a loss for words. Instead of saying anything, you turned to face him, wrapping him in a tight hug that he readily returned. You pressed a kiss to his cheek as you pulled back, eager to investigate the set up closer. 

“Kacey helped me cook, and Rachel helped with the decorations. It was my idea, though.” Tyson said, a little nervously, as he watched your reaction. He hoped that you wouldn’t think it was too much, but he had wanted to do something special for you, and his sister had suggested the dinner idea.

“If Kacey helped cook, then it’s probably edible.” You teased, throwing him a mischievous grin that had his heart stopping in his chest with how much he adored you. On the table, there was an empty glass vase, with some water in the bottom, so you placed the bouquet Tyson had gotten you there.

“I’ve been told I’m a great cook.” Tyson defended playfully, easily falling into your typical light banter despite his nerves. Despite the teasing, he pulled out your chair for you like the gentleman his mom had raised him to be.

“It doesn’t count if your mom told you that.” You rolled your eyes with a grin, watching as Tyson settled into his own chair across from you. He didn’t respond with anything other than a chuckle, and you watched as he nervously studied your face. “Tyson?”

“Do you like it?” He blurted out, one hand gesturing to the table and decorations. You creased your brow together in confusion, but seconds later you realized why he was so nervous. He was afraid that he’d done too much and would scare you off.

“I love it, Tys.” You reached across the short table to set your hand on top of his. He relaxed at this, and lifted your hand up so he could kiss the back of it with an easy grin. Your simple words were enough to calm him down, and you briefly reveled in the fact that you were able to have such an effect on him. “But what’s the occasion?”

“Just ‘cause I really like you.” He assured you, his broad grin on full display. Your heart stuttered in your chest, despite the fact that it was far from the first time he had told you that. You had a feeling that it was far from the last time he’d tell you that, too, and thought made you smile wider. You chuckled breathily at him, eyes dancing across the lights that were around the gazebo before finally settling on Tyson. He was smiling fondly at you, and you knew that you would be perfectly content to sit there for the rest of life, as long as he looked at you like he was.

“Didn’t realize you were such a romantic, Jost.” You chirped, but his response was quick and easy, as if he had spent a lifetime in preparation for this moment.

“Only for you.”

PRESENT

“We’re engaged!”

“Congratulations!”

You beamed at Rachel, standing up from the lawn chair you had been perched in while watching Tyson play a game of modified spike ball with your younger cousins. You had been waiting for Rachel and Michael to return from their drive, knowing he had been planning to propose. He had, after all, asked you for Rachel’s ring size and help with planning everything.

“It’s gorgeous, Rach.” You cooed, stepping back to let your various extended family members that had come to your aunt’s for a family barbecue to crowd around Rachel. She shot you a grateful smile before turning to entertain your Great Aunt Ida’s various questions. Tyson approached, then, clapping a hand on Michael’s shoulder and his other arm winding around your waist.

“Congrats, Mikey.” Tyson grinned. You smiled at your boyfriend and soon to be cousin, glad they were able to easily rekindle their friendship after you got back with Tyson.

“You two are next!” Your aunt shouted in glee, pointing to you and Tyson. You flushed, chuckling out of nerves. Rachel elbowed her mother for her comment, but you felt Tyson’s arm tighten around you. Luckily, your grandma asked Rachel a question about her future wedding that had everyone in a tizzy, so you were out of the hot seat.

“Beer?” Tyson asked quietly, and you nodded, ducking away from your crowd of family members and towards the coolers. Your mind was elsewhere as you went through the motions of taking a sip of your fresh drink. Specifically, your mind was wandering years into the future, to your relationship with Tyson, and how maybe then you’d be in the same position as Rachel and Michael.

Tyson sat in the Adirondack chair you had previously occupied, and gently tugged you down so you were seated comfortingly on his lap. You leaned back into his chest, distantly paying attention to one of your younger cousins explaining the rules for whatever game he was making up. You turned to face your boyfriend when he squeezed the arm that had been wrapped comfortingly around you, finding him already watching you with a soft and caring look in his eyes.

“Hm?” You hummed, searching his face for whatever he would’ve wanted to tell you, only coming up short in the few moments he said nothing. A grin broke out across his face, one less mischievous than you were used to seeing.

Your fingers subconsciously started toying with the braided friendship bracelet on Tyson’s wrist. It was a new one, since the first one was years old and the string had snapped during one practice. He had gotten upset, genuinely distraught that one of the first gifts you had gotten him had broken. You assured him it was okay, and made him a new one with the colors of the Colorado Avalanche.

“That’s gonna be us someday.” He said, wordlessly gesturing to Rachel and Michael who were still being questioned by your family. Your heart stopped beating in your chest all together, a wide smile on your face at the sureness he spoke with. “Maybe not next, ‘cause,” He paused, nodding his head in the direction of your thirteen year old cousin who had invited the girl he liked from school to the barbeque. “little man’s got game.” You laughed at this, feeling Tyson’s eyes heavy on you the whole time. Calming down, you returned Tyson’s soft smile.

“Someday, then.” You told him quietly. He nodded brightly, before leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your cheek, before kissing the other, and then finally landing one on your lips. He didn’t move back far, choosing to mumble his next words against your lips.

“Someday it is.”

As if you were always meant to, you spent the rest of the warm summer evening in Tyson’s arms. He joked with your family and you chirped him alongside his sister, and all the while your mind didn’t stray far from Tyson’s comment about your future together. Kacey had asked you what made you so smiley, and you just shrugged, but the grin you sent her brother’s way told her all she needed to know.

“I swear, you two were meant for eachother.” She sighed dramatically, her own teasing grin so familiar to the one you loved. A family trait, you assumed.

“I hope so.” You told her, a little breathless at just how happy you were in the moment. A giddy smile broke out across your face as Tyson appeared, his arm snaking around your waist to tug you into his side gently.

“Are you coming with me tonight?” Tyson hummed tiredly. The night was coming to an end, with most of your family gone already. There was only a small group of twenty-somethings left: you, Tyson, Kacey, Rachel, Michael, and Dan. The latter of which had previously been engaged in conversation with your boyfriend, and had kept him occupied for the last half hour. It was late, you were tired, and Tyson noticed.

He always noticed you.

“Yeah, if you’re on your best behavior.” You grinned playfully, and Kacey jokingly gagged. Some things never changed, and you were incredibly grateful for it.

“Always am.” Tyson replied, his hand slipping in yours and tugging you in the direction of his house next door before you had the chance to reply. You bid everyone a goodnight over your shoulder, shouting one more congratulations to Rachel and Michael before you were inside the Jost family home.

Fifteen minutes later, you were clothed in one of Tyson’s oversized athletic shirts and wrapped in his arms. You were chatting mindlessly, your thoughts on the verge of incomprehensible as a result of your exhaustion. Tyson was laying on his back with his head against the pillows, and you were curled into his side with your head tucked into the crook of his neck.

He listened to every word that fell past your lips, hanging onto each sound you created with a broad smile and beating heart. He had known before that moment that you were it for him—he had decided he was done for the moment you walked into his life—but he wanted you to know. Sure, you probably had a pretty good idea about what you meant to him, but it couldn’t hurt to say it.

“I meant what I said earlier, you know.” He found himself accidentally interrupting a story about something one of your aunt’s had said. He could tell you didn’t mind, because you didn’t even try to continue.

“About?” You hummed, confusion lacing your tone. You could feel his heart hammering in his chest, and in a bid to try and calm him down, you began brushing the tips of your fingers up and down his arm.

“About marrying you someday. I’m going to do it.” He sounded so serious, that you couldn’t help but prop yourself up on your elbow, slightly hovering over him in order to get a better look at him. He was smiling softly the way one does when they’re in love, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest at the way he was looking at you.

“Not right now, I hope.” You teased, a little breathless under his stare. You were grinning at him, an easy smile that was mirrored on his face.

“No, not now. But I can’t imagine not having you in my life again.” He told you, and you wasted no time in leaning down to connect your lips to his. You smiled into the kiss, still feeling the same electricity from the first time you had done so all those years ago run through you. You’d never tire of Tyson, you were sure of it.

“Didn’t realize you were such a romantic, Jost.” You mumbled against his lips before pulling back to admire him. He chuckled quietly, one of his hands rising up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing across your cheek. The sensation had you leaning into his touch, and you grabbed his hand to give each of his fingers a quick kiss.

“Only for you.”

[softspeirs]

Rumors

Characters: Eileen Sanders (OFC), Ron Speirs., ft. a cameo by our man Lewis Nixon because I’ve been in my feelings about him lately. Summary: Eileen has heard all the rumors about newly promoted Captain Ron Speirs. When she has to run supplies from Regiment to Easy’s CP, she finally gets to meet the man in person. Author’s Note: Thanks to pals on Discord for the idea for this - I was stuck on the plot for a bit but have gotten some much needed advice. Special thanks to @junojelli for the occupation of my OC, and thanks as always to @mercurygray​’s central casting generator for the name! 

The bitter cold wind cuts through the thin layers of her clothing, and she shifts her weight around as she waits for her orders.

Not for the first time, she closes her eyes and pictures home - sunny Florida with the palm trees and sandy beaches… if she concentrates hard enough she swears she can feel the ocean breeze on her face.

A noise inside causes her eyes to snap open and it’s then she realizes it’s not the ocean, but the snow on her face, and her mood darkens once again.

“Here,” a box is thrust into her hands by a Corporal she can’t remember the name of. He stands nearly two heads taller than her, and sneers down at her. She bites back her smart remark. She doesn’t see the need to get in trouble when she’s already made it this far. “To Captain Speirs, E Company. He’ll be at the CP.”

She’s gone without another word.

Easy is posted up with Dog and Fox Companies closer to the river, and she expects Captain Speirs will have more for her to bring back to Regiment with her - they did several patrols in the previous days, and she expects a stack of reports awaits her upon her arrival.

She keeps close to the buildings and into the shadows the entire way. The first few feet, her heart is beating wildly, the night air feeling too still, despite the wind. She feels like every step she takes can be heard a mile away, and the threat of being shot at is ever present despite the enemy being across the river.

Still, her quickness and stealth is what got her this job, however disappointed she was when she was moved from intelligence. Small, able to blend in, and able to read a map. The few requirements for a runner. Her intelligence background gave her another edge, as did her ability to memorize messages if needed - especially during the rough terrain of Bastogne. If shelling started and she had to bury herself in the snow, the envelopes and their contents were nearly always unreadable.

She makes it to Easy’s CP in less time than she planned for, and the warmth of the interior is a welcome change. Exchanging a password with the soldiers on guard duty out front, she heads inside, pulling her winter hat off her messily braided hair and loosening her scarf.

“Through there,” the soldier points at a doorway to her left, and she nods her thanks.

Knocking firmly, she’s startled by the voice barking back at her.

“What?”

“Sir? I have supplies from Regiment.”

It’s quiet for a moment. “Enter.” He says finally, and she pushes open the heavy door to head inside.

She’s a little taken aback - he’s completely surrounded by paperwork, nearly on all sides, piling around him at the small desk he’s commandeered. Through the grapevine, she knows he’s newly promoted.

“Corporal Eileen Sanders, sir.” She says, shaking herself out of her silence. “I’ve got supplies - rations and some replacement med kits. I can also take back any messages or reports you’ve got. I expect you’ve got some,” she says, eyeing the stacks of paper.

He snorts. “A few.” He looks up at her, and she’s pleased that he doesn’t seem surprised that she’s a woman. “Set it anywhere. I’ll get to it eventually.”

Eileen was in Intelligence for a reason. Small and unassuming, she was good at being able to overhear conversations not meant for her ears, and good at sussing the truth out of rumors and gossip. She’s not stupid - she knows what people say about Captain Ron Speirs.

Shrewd, cunning, lethal. A killer. Of his own men, possibly, and prisoners, almost certainly.

Somehow though, this is not what she envisioned.

He looks exhausted. His whole appearance is disheveled, and while she knows everyone has been through the ringer lately, she can tell he’s sick on top of it. Weighing whether or not what she’s about to do is a good idea, she sets her box down on the desk.

“Can I get you a coffee, sir? Tea?”

Again, he looks surprised. Before he can reply, someone else enters, unannounced. She is not surprised to see Lewis Nixon.

His face lights up when he sees her, and she groans, mentally preparing herself for his ribbing.

“Miss Sanders.”

“It’s Corporal--”

“When are they going to promote you, huh?” He turns to Captain Speirs, “Ron, you’ve met Eileen?”

Captain Speirs raises an eyebrow. “Do you need something?”

“Just wanted to see how things were going.”

“I don’t have any liquor.”

Nixon stops, looking over at Eileen, before looking back at Speirs, stage-whispering. “Don’t talk about liquor in front of the lady.”

“Sir, and I mean this with the most respect possible, please shut up.”

Nixon laughs, and even the corner of Speirs’ lips turn up. Eileen counts it as a win. Maybe he’s not the terrifying commander he’s rumored to be.

“You know, I wouldn’t let anyone else get away with that.” He looks back at Speirs, “Corporal Sanders probably single-handedly saved my life in Normandy.”

“Oh?”

Eileen rolls her eyes. “Come off it. You were perfectly fine when I found you--”

Nixon continues as if he hasn’t heard her. “Couldn’t tell which way was up or down--”

“You’re the intelligence officer--” Eileen interrupts dryly.

“I was likely to perish, and then there she was. Like an angel in the darkness--”

“Christ.” Eileen mutters.

“-- she saved me from the enemy and has been trailing after me around Europe ever since.” He presses a hand to his heart.

“Alright, alright. Quit giving her a hard time.” Speirs says, though his tone is markedly improved from a few minutes ago. People talk about Lewis Nixon, but never let it be said that he doesn’t have a knack for lightening the mood when the situation calls for it.

In their brief time working together in intelligence, he never once second guessed her because she was a woman, or treated her like anything other than a colleague. In fact, he was almost brotherly.

She wonders if he’s doing this for her benefit - talking her up in front of Easy’s new Captain.

Her gaze is drawn once more to the CO. He runs a shaky hand over his face. He coughs, the sound rattling around in his chest, and she frowns. Nixon, in a moment of seriousness, also seems concerned.

“You see the Doc for that?”

Speirs gives him a look. “In all my free time?”

Nixon scoffs. “How about Kat? You know she’d make time--”

“No.” Speirs’ tone changes completely, firm and sharp. He clears his throat, gaze flashing over to Eileen. “She’s been busy. Fussing over Lipton the last I saw. Besides, she’s ill herself. She’s got enough on her plate.”

Eileen knows they’re talking about Kathryn Gray, one of Easy’s lead medics. She’s only met her once - keen to meet another woman serving in the same division, Eileen sought her out at a supply drop when they got out of the Bois Jacques. She was kind, but closed off. Eileen can only imagine what the last few weeks have been like for her. Easy’s casualties in the Ardennes were high.

There’s also rumors of-- well, Eileen doesn’t want to indulge. But let’s say that she’s not surprised to hear that Captain Speirs is quickly wanting to change the subject away from Kat Gray. Not that Eileen is going to say anything to anyone else. Another reason she’s good at her job - she knows when to keep her mouth shut.

“Sir, if you’ve got those reports, I’ve got to get back.”

“Take a coffee,” Nixon needles her. “It’s cold.”

“Where’ve you been?” Eileen teases, “All the weeks before this were tropical paradises?” She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I’ll have something when I get back to Regiment.”

Speirs hands her a few folders and several small envelopes. “It was good to meet you, Corporal. I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.” His small smile is warm, nothing like she expected from him.

“Yes, sir. Take care.” She salutes the Captains both, and then heads for the door, stopping at the threshold, again weighing her words. “Captain Speirs? I heard about what you did in Foy. You saved a lot of lives that day.”

He looks mildly uncomfortable, but there’s something else there. An undercurrent of something, of secrets buried or truths waiting to be unearthed… whatever he’s done, whatever part of the rumors Eileen’s been hearing since Normandy are true, she decides not to dwell on them. He saved nearly the entire company that day, and everyone has parts of themselves they hide.

He’s certainly more competent than Easy’s last CO, and short of Major Winters regaining control of the Company, they need someone like Captain Speirs in charge.

“Just doing my job, Corporal.” He says, his voice soft. “We’ll be seeing you soon, I’m sure.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll walk with you.” Nixon offers, and then they’re out the door, leaving the mysterious CO behind.

“I can find my way back, you know.”

He smirks, “I’m aware.” A pause. “What do you think of Speirs?”

Eileen shoots him a look. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”

��Sure it does.” He looks down at her. “You’re a good judge of character.” He kicks at a rock as they walk. “Just want to make sure we don’t have another Norman Dike on our hands.”

Eileen scoffs. “You already know he’s more than capable. I don’t know, he seems quiet. Clearly still adjusting.”

“You’ve heard the rumors.”

“Look, you really want to know what I think?” Eileen stops, making sure they’re still in shadow. “I think nobody respected Dike and it didn’t do him any favors when he broke. Even up at Regiment everyone whispered behind his back about how he wasn’t cut out for it. If Speirs gets respect because the men are scared of him, or worried he might snap, at least they do respect him. And if it’s true he’s some kind of fearless killer, at least he can be counted on not to freeze in the middle of an attack.”

Nixon searches her face. “Okay then.”

They start walking again, Nixon slowing as they come to a fork in the road where Eileen will head back to Regiment, a little farther away from the line.

“Be careful,” he calls as she gets a few yards away.

When she makes it back and hands over the last of her courier work for the night, she can’t help but reconcile the image she had in her head of Captain Speirs to the quiet man she met. She’s sure half the things she’s heard are true, but she meant what he said. If he can keep his men alive, the rumors won’t matter anymore. All that will matter is that he’ll have been the leader they’ve needed.

Endnotes: Kat Gray is my OC for an upcoming fic. You’ll meet her soon, though if you want a sneak peak, you can check out a few previous Speirs/OC oneshots where she features. 

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 1: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

A Bite to Remember | @darmysasagiri

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1104 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Alpha, Top Cas/Bottom Dean, Mating Bites, One Night Stands Summary: Alphas can't mate Alphas, everyone knows this, or do they?

Oblivious Mates | @fangirlingtodeath513

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1984 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester,Castiel (Supernatural),Dean Winchester,Knotting,Mating Cycles/In Heat,Heat Sex,Rut Sex,A/B/O,Friends With Benefits,Consensual Somnophilia,Mating Bites,Misunderstandings,Lack of Communication,Fuckbuddies,Spooning,Cuddling & Snuggling,Naked Cuddling,True Mates,Scenting Summary: Dean and Cas have been heat/rut fuck buddies for a while now, but Dean's starting to get second thoughts. His feelings evolved a long time ago but now he's feeling guilty about holding Castiel back from finding his true mate.

Sun Warmed | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2586 Main Tags/Warnings: alpha Cas, omega Dean, first meeting, house-sitting, a bit of voyeurism Summary: Dean is a little bitter, but only in the safety and privacy of his own head, and definitely never around his brother and his new sister-in-law. Because those two really do deserve all the happiness in the world. And just because Dean wishes for a little happiness for himself, he will not ruin their bliss. The thing that’s a little hard on Dean, lately, is that during the past few months, Sam and Eileen’s new house somehow started to feel more like home than his own apartment does. He’s not even over that much, but he feels so safe and good and happy, here. It’s a space he feels like himself in, and it’s not really the company, it feels more like the energy around their house, the amazing smell seemingly haunting Dean when he drives back home and slowly loses it. He’s not sure which flowers Eileen planted that smell this way, but he’s been meaning to ask her for months. Currently, Sam and Eileen are in Hawaii for their honeymoon and Dean gets daily selfie updates while he house-sits for them. And somehow, during all of that and while accidentally flashing a guy, he figures out where that amazing smell comes from.

Essential Services | @Imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3444 Main Tags/Warnings: Roommates, omegaverse, explicit sex, top Cas/bottom Dean, alpha Cas, Omega Dean, mating bites, quarantine, pandemic, heat/rut sex Summary: Cas has been sent home to work as an unessential service. When he arrives, he realizes his roommate Dean clearly wasn't expect him to arrive. What happens when they finally give in to each other?

Kiss Me, Kill Me | @saltnhalo

Rating: Mature Word Count: 4668 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Assassin Castiel (Supernatural), Guard Dean Winchester, Assassin Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, True Mates, Scenting, BAMF Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Murder Husbands Summary: Seasoned hitman Castiel Novak is just looking to take out his target and get paid, but should've accounted for the fact that he may not be the only assassin at tonight's party... Cue the mysterious, green-eyed man who is more of a match for Castiel than anyone he's ever met.

Up On The Rooftop Greenhouse | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5017 Main Tags/Warnings: alpha!michael, omega!dean, Beta!Castiel, Arranged Marriage, truemates, defying truemates, fighting destiny, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Kisses, Wedding ceremonies, pack houses, mentions of potential abuse of power Summary: Michael Shurley is Dean Winchester's true mate. Except, Dean has been in love and dating the Winchester house gardener, Castiel Novak, for nearly three years and Dean doesn't want that to stop. He needs to find a way out of the impending wedding before it's too late, especially when Michael shows his true colours.

A Strange Place To Find Love | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6159 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Heats, ruts. Knotting. Happy Ending Summary: The Alpha/omega Rut/heat Center was the brainchild of a ‘more progressive, more caring’ government. In reality, it was just a way to stop Alphas from jumping unmated omegas when they were in rut, and to stop unmated omegas from getting knocked up during a heat by some Alpha they picked up, then having to go on welfare because the Alpha wouldn’t pay pup support. Dean Winchester worked for the center as a willing omega. Castiel Novak decided to give it a try.

Steel and Whiskey | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6207 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Mafia AU, Mobster Castiel, Mobster Dean Winchester, Mistaken Identity, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, Topping from the Bottom, Knotting, First Meetings, BAMF Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural) Summary: When Castiel agrees to meet with the leader of the Winchester pack in the heart of his territory, he does not find the alpha he’s expecting. Instead, he meets an omega in Dean Winchester’s apartment with stunning green eyes and an alluring air of danger. Someone should have warned Castiel that the Winchester leader is not an alpha.

Just Here For A Good Night | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6646 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fraternities & Sororities, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Team Dean's Red Ass, Dom/sub Undertones, Dom Castiel, Fluff, Frat Boy Castiel Summary: In which Dean is looking to get laid at an Alpha Phi Alpha party, and sets his sights on Castiel, who's just trying to make sure that nothing bad happens on his watch.

Are You Real, Dean Winchester? | Maleyah (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7447 Main Tags/Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements (not between Dean and Cas), Mental Health Issues, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Mating Bond, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Medication, Near overdose, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hallucinations Summary: Castiel struggles to survive in a world that was never right for him to begin with. So far, he has always survived his turbulent mind... because despite everything, his broken brain, his loneliness, the never-ending struggle, he's a fighter. One night, exceptionally reckless, borderline overdosed on his meds, he wanders the streets, foregoing his self-preservation. Hoping for the end, almost finding it, unless his brain is throwing him for a loop again. ... Only to be found by Dean Winchester.

Did you get my reference? (WIP) | @spnsmile

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8918 Main Tags/Warnings: Top dean w/ bottom castiel, explicit Summary: Take Dean, most handsome CEO with very pretty face and just your typical successful Alpha who owns his own company at the age of 30. But despite popular belief, Dean has one problem he needs to solve before an international conference: he hates the smell of unmated Omegas. Come Castiel, a clumsy word-class geek literature major who appeared in front of Dean in the middle of a raging river. His scent drives Dean's instinct to bite, plus he gets rid of all other scents in the air. Now Dean only has to convince him to be his plus one. Which means having a talking encyclopedia who trips in its own legs. How can Dean protect his high-wired True Mate from other Alphas and himself?

It's A Hard Knot Life | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10874 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Punk Castiel, Rape, Tattoos. Knotting Summary: Dean walked up the counter and his nose was filled with the scent of peticior and sandalwood. He took a deep breath. The guy never looked up. Dean cleared his throat. Nothing. He rapped his knuckles on the counter. The guy didn’t look up, but he said, in a gravelly voice that gave Dean shivers, “Yeah?” “I was wondering if you had the latest CD by St Paul and the Broken Bones?” The guy looked up and Dean found himself looking into eyes so blue, he didn’t have a name for the color. The black eyeliner just accentuated their color. “We have a system here for finding things. It’s called alphabetically, you may have heard of it? That means the S’s are right between the R’s and the T’s.” Then he went right back to reading his book.

Black Rose Tattoo | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10989 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Tattoo Artist Castiel (Supernatural), Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor. Explicit Sexual Content, Knotting, Pups, Dean is demisexual Summary: Dean heard the motorcycle before he saw it. He looked out the big front window of his shop, and waited until the cycle appeared. He watched the Alpha pull to the curb, stop the bike, get off and take off his helmet. He’d watched the same scene every day since he’d opened the flower shop next to the tattoo parlor. The Alpha shook his perpetually messy hair and walked to open his shop, out of Dean’s view. Dean sighed and went back to work.

Palaces of Rome (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11291 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester/Alpha Gabriel, Alpha/Alpha pairing, Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, BAMF Castiel, BAMF Gabriel Summary: Despite his size and his father's expectations, Dean presented as an omega. Infertile, male omegas have no rights in Rome, so John arranges to sell him to the son of the Emperor in an attempt to provide his alpha son, Sam, a better life. Sam joins the army under General Gabriel's expert tutelage, swearing to become a warrior famous enough to buy his brother back. Dean accepts his place in the prince's harem, but he's about to stumble upon the biggest secret in Rome, one that has kept hundreds of thousands of male omegas enslaved for almost eight hundred years. The secret will either push Rome into an age of peace and prosperity or it will shatter one of the greatest empires in the ancient world.

Something Dark | kradarua (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16466 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel, Spanking, Under-negotiated Kink, Rough Sex, Rimming, Choking, Dom/sub Undertones, Thief Dean Winchester, Dark Dean Winchester, Dark Castiel, Dark Sam Winchester, Dark Charlie Bradbury, Possessive Dean Winchester, Illegal Activities, Torture, Sexual Slavery, Murder Husbands, Killer Castiel, Killer Dean Winchester, Top Dean/Bottom Castiel Summary: Castiel looked even wilder in person. Dean let his eyes roam over his (now fully clothed) form, smiling appreciatively. He inhaled deeply, curious to find no real trace of a scent. “He’s on scent blockers,” the employee explained. ""Running this auction is involved enough without having to settle claim disputes if an omega’s scent triggers some alpha’s rut.” That suited him fine; both he and Sam were on scent blockers most of the time and he’d planned on requiring that Castiel stay on them too. It helped with anonymity. “Thank you,” he said, “That will be all.” The employee gave a small bow and left to service the other high bidders. “Well, Cas,” Dean said cheerily, “Let’s go home.”

Porn and Peonies | @navajlovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20865 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe Alpha/Omega, Porn Star Dean Winchester, Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg, Mating, Switching Summary: When Cas accidentally meets his favorite porn star, Dean Smith, he's thrilled. He never expects what comes next with Dean Winchester, Alpha to his omega.

Mulanatural (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 33385 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester, Beta Adam Milligan, Mulan (Disney) Summary: Dean Winchester is possibly the worst omega in his town; he's too big, too strong, and way too dominant. When the Matchmaker rejects his suit for a mate and the Huns invade China, he has to pretend to be an alpha to save his brother's life, but he may well lose his own in the process. Worse, he may dishonor his whole family.

A Symphony of Flavors | @wargurl83

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 43223 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chefs, Minor Character Death (offscreen) - Freeform, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Verse, thar be smut here, Top Cas/Bottom Dean Summary: Master Chef Castiel Novak likes his life ordered. Controlled. Sensible. He's an Alpha with no mate and no hope of finding one. His life is turned upside down with the death of his sister and taking guardianship of his nine-year-old niece, Claire. Add to that, there's a new sous chef taking up space in his very orderly kitchen with his loud music and brash attitude, and for some reason Castiel just can't take his eyes off him. Dean Winchester loves to cook, love his mom, and loves kids. His goal has been to work with Chef Novak for as long as he's been in Kansas City. What he wasn’t prepared for was an Alpha all of his own…

The Nuances of Pack Politics (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 72679 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, ,Alpha Sam Winchester, Omega Gabriel Summary: Castiel and Gabriel Novak are having a hard time fitting into their new school, constantly harassed by older alphas now that they have lost the familiar protection of their own brothers. The Pack, a group that claims to welcome and protect omegas at their high school, may offer them a chance to change all of that, as long as they can get in.

Grown-Ups Making Grown-Up Choices | @carrieosity

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 81039 Main Tags/Warnings: Humor and Fluff, Pining, Self-improvement, Self-worth issues, Comedy, Awkward Flirting, Mating, Sexual Harassment, Threatened Non-Con (brief), Healthy Relationships Summary: Dean is a grown-ass man - he can take perfectly good care of himself, thank you very much. Except that sometimes the easier or more fun choices aren't always the right or best ones, and, all right, maybe thinking ahead and working the long game isn't his strongest suit. It's fine! He's fine. When he meets Castiel, he realizes that flying by the seat of his pants may not be the best way to attract the super-serious (gorgeous, funny, genius) Alpha. Dean's shrink has been telling him he needs to start making ""grown-up choices,"" and if that's what he has to think about in order to make Cas fall for him, then he'll give it a whirl.

Celestial War (WIP) | @tucuxia

Rating: Mature Word Count: 151571 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Dean/Omega Castiel, Alpha Sam/Omega Gabriel, Alpha Crowley/Omega Balthazar, Mating Cycles/In Heat Summary: The three tribes--Celestial, Wilderness, and Spellbound--have been at an uneasy stalemate for generations, but a prophecy about four omegas could bring about a full-scale war that will destroy them all.

don't care where you've been (WIP) | @thanks-tacos

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 240842 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Dean, Alpha Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean, Past Rape/Non-con, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Arranged Marriage, Abused Dean Winchester, Caring Castiel, Happy Ending, full tag list in the fic Summary: Dean's life is finally changing. After years of enduring Alastair's abuse, the alpha dies and Dean's married off to the next alpha the system pairs him with - Castiel. The man is strange and distant, but not exactly bad, and Dean's determined to be on his best behavior and not mess up the chance he was given. Soon enough, though, he fucks up anyway and has to call the alpha for help. Castiel's lived his entire life without an omega by his side, and he was fine with that. He doesn't know how to proceed once he's suddenly married to a beautiful man who's obviously been through a lot. Omegas were always a confusing subject to him, so he tries not to interfere much - neither of them is there by their choice. But when Dean calls for help, he understands he's going to have to set some things straight and engage more.

[wendibird]

SPN 15X19 Observations

So, here we are. Second-to-last episode of this show and what has been said will be the Season Finale. (While next week’s is the Series Finale.) 

Without further ado...

I don’t even know what to think going into this second-to-last episode. I don’t expect a “happy” ending to this show. But I can’t help hoping for a fitting one. One that makes some kind of sense. That does the characters justice. We’ll see how it goes. (Also, I want some GOOD content for Sam. *LOL*)

(Also, my notes might be sparse because I want to concentrate on the show.)

- Everyone’s gone.

- Except these three.

- Does Sam and Jack know about Cas?

- THEY DON’T KNOW YET!!! *crying* (To be clear, not upset that Dean didn’t tell them sooner. Since obviously there had to be a phone conversation at some point, or at least texting so they’d know where to meet up. THAT kind of news isn’t something to tell over the phone if you can help it.) 

- The music is really playing this up well.

- Oh Jack….. 

- And he’s still killing plants.

Commercial Thoughts:

I’ve said this again and again but I still don’t like how Chuck is being written. He might as well be rubbing his hands and cackling evilly. 

That being said, this really is sadistic. One of the few things that’s kept Sam and Dean going through all of this has been the people they’ve been able to save. (Crowely caught on to that in S8 and used it to good effect. But he was like a sniper, precise with it. Chuck is like a fricking nuke.) 

And Sam losing hope always makes me sad. (Have noticed the looks Dean keeps giving him. Still checking on him and how he’s doing and worrying about him.)

- This camera work is weird. Dream-like?

- DOGGY!!!!!

- omg Dean’s happy about a dog!

- WOW. That’s a new low.

- So, no animals? (Guess they’re gonna have to go vegetarian eventually if this doesn’t get fixed.)

- Michadam!!! 

- WHAT?! (No Adam?! HOW DARE CHUCK!!!)

Commercial Thoughts:

Okay, Chuck taking Adam is a really REALLY low-blow! (But then, that might be what pushed Michael to decide to help them after all.) 

Not surprised that Michael can’t open the book. Wondering if Jack can? Or they could call some reapers and see who wants the job of the next Death. *LOL* Hold interviews. “What will you do for us if we give you this promotion?” (crack thoughts, don’t mind me.)

I’m not sure if Chuck has realized that they have nothing left to lose. And that’s generally when people are at their most dangerous. (I mean yes, they have each other, but in the wake of what’s been lost? Literally the whole world? They can’t let that go. They can’t just sit back and treat it as a vacation. It’s not how they are.)

- CAS?! 

- WTF?!?!?!?! (Did NOT want to see Lucifer again tbh. And apparently neither did Dean. *LOL*)

- Okay, so Lucifer promoted the next Death.

- Is he actually dead this time?

- One can only hope.

- YEY! LUCIFER IS DEAD AGAIN!!!

Commercial thoughts:

So…. what was the point of all that again? 

Okay, I get that in the end, the book is open and now they can hopefully read it. Seems kind of convoluted. (Also, do NOT get me started on the whole “God and the Darkness have no pull in the Empty”. Unless God just replicated Lucifer, like I theorize he did with Lilith.) 

Wondering if they just did all that to have Luci and Mark P. back one more time.

- Sam being his super-smart self! <3

- What is Sam not saying?

- Hey! Isn’t that the lake where Jack was born?

- FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Fricking Michael.

- Bloody winchesters

- That’s what Sam wasn’t saying. I don’t think they trusted Michael.

- Sam figured something out.

- Wow. That is some poetic justice!

- I’m actually impressed with that.

- So now what?

Commercial Thoughts:

Wow. Okay, that was a weird twist of a way to get there. But I’ve honestly got to say that I like it. It works. (I’d always hoped Jack would still be the key to Chuck’s downfall.)

I still feel sorry for Amara though. Like, is she just nothingness? Is she an alternate personality deep inside Chuck now? 

And what about Jack? Can he put things back to how they’re supposed to be? Bring everyone back? Did he get Chuck’s knowledge as well as his power? At least of who all he took away? 

Guess we’ll have to see.

Also, usually I’m not a fan of the trope of the “Good guys” sparing the villain who’s killed tons of people because “they’re above killing”. But in this case? It really was fitting. And a worse punishment than killing Chuck would have been.

- OH GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!

- Sammy’s cafe!

- (Okay I’m getting a little misty)

- His smile!!! 

- OKay, I might cry now.

- They raised God.

- Awwww….. (The names)

- Okay, so, I’m not okay! (But I’m okay with it, so… good thing?)

- So it ends with them doing whatever it is they want? 

- I wonder if the Apocalypse World people were brought back? And their other friends. (And Eileen? I’m sorry, I know not everyone ships it, but I do, and now Sam doesn’t have the great Plot of the Universe conspiring against him.)

After-Show Thoughts: (After I’ve had a few hours to ponder things)

Let me just say, the music in this episode? Like, just even the background music? It was amazing! It did such a good job of invoking the emotions that were being felt by the guys. And their choices of songs used were also good. :) 

Michael: So, in some ways his character shift in this episode seems odd after the last time we saw him. But then I thought more about it, and I think Adam’s death had a lot to do with it. In the previous episode in which we saw them, of the two of them Adam actually seemed to be more stable, and often had good, grounding advice for Michael. Now with him gone, all Michael had was himself. And at heart, he still wanted his father’s love, despite everything that had happened. And I still think he’s an interesting Parallel/Contrast to Dean, who also had the same father-worship for a long time, but over time he’s come to understand that John was wrong about a lot of things, and he needs to make his own way. I don’t think that’s something that Michael ever REALLY learned. Not deep down. 

Lucifer: I found his presence here to be annoying. I get that he moved the plot along. And I get how much at least half of Buckleming love him. I am glad that his part was brief and that he didn’t get a redemption arc. I do wish Sam had been able to kill him. (I know, he couldn’t have because only another archangel with an archangel blade yadda-yadda. STILL though…) Or that there had maybe been SOME meaningful interaction between him and Sam for old time’s sake, since that always gets nice and spicy. (Because Jared and Mark P. always keep in mind everything that’s happened between them and put that into their performances.) But time limits and all that. Also, why were there no wing-shadows on the floor when Lucifer died? There were wing shadows on the floor of the friggen church at the end of S13 and he died like 15 feet up in the air. *LOL* I mean, then whenever Sam looked at the floor in the Library he could remember that Lucifer is Dead for Good. 

And I just rewatched the scene again and when he died, he just went poof. Like, in the past, unless a finger-snap thing is involved that’s not what happens when angels die. If they get stabbed, there’s usually been a body left behind. Heck, at the end of S13 there was a full-on light-show. Now it almost looked like a regular angel death just with redder light instead of silvery-blue. Was that because it was just a thrown-together mock-up of Lucifer that Chuck made? (Like with Lilith? Because he’s NOT supposed to have any sway in the Empty! Dammit, how hard is it for the writers to remember the stuff that was already established?!)  

(Sorry. Continuity issues bug me. And they’ve bugged me from Season 1 on, so I know that’s not a new thing. But it does feel like they’ve gotten especially worse this season.) 

(Also, I’m starting to get tired so I’m going to try to wrap this up here. *LOL*)

I did like how they brought Chuck down. When it comes down to it, they weren’t following a pre-set plan. (Well, what happened probably WAS written in that book, but they didn’t know what it was.) Instead they found their own way with what they had. They figured out what was going on with Jack, and Sam figured out some bullshit spell to make some cool light-effects in order to fool Michael and Chuck into thinking they were setting it up for him. The only aspect of it that fell a little flat for me was the extended exposition on how they’d done it. It’s a trope that crops up a lot. The whole “Haha see what I did there!” But, on the other hand, I also realize that unless they’d shown us each step of the process as it was happening, there was no real way around presenting it that way. And it WAS more dramatic to have the audience in the dark until that moment. Also, I can’t deny the effectiveness of the scene where Chuck keeps beating them down but they keep standing up again. I mean, isn’t that an allegory for their whole lives? And at the end he’s incredulous as to why or even HOW they can still stand. What makes them keep going? True, part of it was that they knew the plan, and they knew this was part of it. (Which I think is why Sam opened it up with punching Chuck. To turn the confrontation more physical and draw it out, or he might have decided after all to just finger-snap them.) But part if it is also them just being them. They’ve both been down this road before. Like their whole lives have been this road. And they’ve both been to hell. Both suffered unimaginable tortures. And they just keep going. When one stumbles the other gets up. Or they get each other up. And they laugh in God’s face. Just… THAT was well-done. And Chuck's ending with them NOT killing him? That was absolutely poetic. Because now he's busted down to "normal" and has to figure out actual life (or just end his, but he'd have to do it himself) and he didn't even get an "ending" of his creations killing him. Because even if he did make them, he clearly still doesn't understand them. And I liked them saying "no" to the revenge game. (After making sure that he couldn't come back again as a problem. Cause they ain't dumb either. Despite what everyone keeps saying about them.) 

I also loved the scene where Jack brings everyone back. I would have liked to have seen some shots of some of the individual ones that we’d come to know being back, like Donna, some of those AU people (Eileen!) but I also get this ep was shot during Covid so they probably couldn’t get as many people back. (I hope some of them at least get name-dropped in the next episode so we know for sure that they’re back and alive.) But anyway, I thought the scene was well done, that song was a GOOD choice for it! (But then, I am a bit biased. It’s among some of the music I grew up listening to because my parents had it.) It may not be classic rock, but classic folk is fitting for the new God. :) 

Overall, I thought there were some pacing issues with this episode, but in general I was happier with it than the previous one. I’ve just been re-watching it (because I never catch everything the first time through, especially when I’m trying to take notes) and I just noticed something. Near the end when Sam and Dean are in the Library and Dean says “To everyone that we lost along the way.” I first was a bit puzzled about that, because my mind went to the more immediate people that they’d lost recently, and whom I’m assuming Jack brought back too. But on re-watching I thought about it in a grander scale. How many people have they lost in their lives due to Chuck’s story? Because Chuck thought it would make things more dramatic? I think he was reflecting on their whole lives, not just the last 48 or so hours. And that makes sense too with what Sam said following, about them finally being able to write their own story. (And yes, I know that Cas was not one of those brought back. At least, he doesn’t seem to have been. And though I don’t ship him and Dean, I don’t doubt for a minute that Dean cares/cared about him very much. It’s okay to love your friends. But I didn’t get the feeling that he was JUST talking about one person. That held the weight of years of losses.) 

I thought the ending montage was brilliant! Honestly, if the show ended here, I would have been okay. Not saying I DON’T want another episode! I’ll take whatever I can get. And I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing where they take their story. So yeah, looking forward to the next (and final *cries*) episode.

Anyway, that’s about all I can really dredge up this late at night. *LOL* This will be the LAST time I do one of these knowing there’s more to come. It’s the last week we’ll all wait in suspense for what’s going to happen next. After next week's episode we'll be into new territory of "That's all there is and ever will be." This has been quite a journey, and I haven’t liked all of it, but overall I still love this weird little show, and even more so the characters that we've met through it. So, to quote Bobby, “Here’s to runnin’ into you guys on the other side.”

[ft-dads-au]

Wildflowers

A collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

Fairy Friendship Week 2020 Prompt: Bonds Pairing(s): Natsu & Igneel, Natsu & Erza, Eileen x Igneel

AO3 | FF.Net

Summary: The Dragneels take advantage of a warm sunny day to enjoy a family picnic in the East Forest.

July 14, 2001

Erza 10, Natsu 7

“Momma, momma, look at me!”

Eileen and Erza looked up from the flowers they’d been admiring, drawn by the sound of Natsu’s excited cries as he ran towards them, or rather tried to. For no sooner had he uttered the words than his sandals got caught on the overly large pants he was wearing, causing him to fall face-first on the soft grass that grew all along the East Forest.

Not one to be easily discouraged, he got right back up, grabbing onto his belt with his left hand and holding the pants up as he continued to hurry towards them. His right arm was swallowed up by the too-long sleeve of the dark jacket he was wearing, while around his neck hung a scarf that Erza immediately recognized, as their father rarely took it off. None of these things diminished Natsu's proud grin in the slightest, and Erza’s heart fluttered at how adorable her little brother looked dressed in their father’s clothes.

“Daddy’s clothes fit me perfectly!” he crowed once he reached them, but rather than standing still so they could admire him, he shifted his weight from foot to foot in an almost gleeful dance.

Erza giggled, “No, they don’t, they’re too big, Natsu.”

Natsu pouted at his sister, but before he had a chance to reply, Eileen had picked him up, hugging him to her chest and kissing his head even as he squirmed in her arms. “You have gotten much bigger, darling,” she agreed and was immediately rewarded by a beaming smile.

“Still shorter than me, though,” Erza teased, standing up straight to demonstrate her height.

Eileen set Natsu down, watching with amusement as he took off after Erza, who continued to taunt him, the chase even more comical as Natsu continued to fall every few feet.

“I am, however, curious as to why you felt the need to take off your clothes,” she mused, her words full of fond exasperation.

The blanket had been spread out under the shade of a large fir tree, the food basket she had so carefully prepared already sitting atop it, along with the clothes Natsu had been wearing. Her husband, Igneel, also sat on it wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers and an impish grin that was identical to their son’s.

“Maybe I just wanted your attention,” Igneel flashed her a roguish grin, patting the space next to him invitingly. Eileen snorted but indulged him, feeling his arms wrap around her middle and pulling her against his chest as they watched their two children play.

Natsu had finally caught up to Erza, but rather than get into a fight with her, he’d wrapped Igneel’s scarf around her neck, and they now walked hand in hand, Erza leading him back to the flowers she’d been looking at and telling him all about them.

“She is so good with him,” Eileen commented as she observed Natsu’s rapt attention at his sister’s words.

“Are you really that surprised?” Igneel placed his head on her shoulder, “She takes after you, after all.”

“While Natsu is just as troublesome as you,” she responded playfully.

“He’s got a lot of spirit, as does Erza. I can’t wait to see what they’ll be like when they’re older.” Eileen could hear the wistfulness in his voice and placed her hands over his.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I know how lucky I am. I thought I’d never get to have this again. It’s just I can’t help but wish…” Igneel trailed off.

“I know they’ll get to meet him someday.” Eileen assured him, “But for now, we need to respect Zelda’s wishes.”

“As my Queen commands.” Igneel turned his head, placing a gentle kiss on Eileen’s lips.

“You are ridiculous,” Eileen chuckled, “Think you can manage to get your clothes back from our son before the mosquitoes eat you alive?”

“You’re no fun,” Igneel pretended to pout, but he released her from his embrace and got up, sneaking another kiss before walking over to where Erza and Natsu were playing and calling out, “Natsu, I need my clothes back.”

“You gotta catch me first!” Natsu exclaimed, running off and squealing happily when Igneel gave chase.

Erza sat on the blanket next to her mother, “Are you sure Daddy’s an adult?” she shook her head as she observed her father attempt to tackle Natsu, who somehow managed to evade him and keep running.

Eileen only laughed, “I think you’ll find that the best adults manage to retain a bit of their child selves. Would you like some fruit?”

Erza nodded eagerly, and they opened up the basket, searching through its contents for some grapes.

“Daddy, no!” Natsu’s laughs were loud, and Eileen and Erza couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

“I guess he finally caught him,” Eileen remarked, splitting the contents of the basket onto four plates.

“I give! I give!” Natsu’s laughter became more breathless as Igneel tickled his sides. He got up and stripped off his clothes, handing them back to his father until he was the one standing around in his underwear.

When everything was arranged to her satisfaction, Eileen called out for them to come eat, but they had disappeared. She put her hand up to her forehead, squinting to try to find them within the shadows created by the surrounding trees. It didn’t take her long to sight them. Igneel, now fully dressed and looking as handsome as always, walked back towards the blanket, carrying a wiggling Natsu on his shoulders, and an incredibly pleased smile on his face.

“They’re up to something,” Erza commented.

“Indeed,” Eileen agreed, sounding unconcerned even as she watched them approach, “those two usually are.”

In one swift movement, Natsu dangled upside down in front of her, his legs clamped around Igneel's neck to keep himself in place, while Igneel placed a hand on his chest to make sure he wouldn't fall.

“Here, Momma, I picked these for you!” Natsu looked very pleased with himself as he handed Eileen a messy bouquet of wildflowers.

“Thank you, darling, they’re lovely.” Eileen kissed him on the cheek, which for some reason, amused the dangling Natsu.

“And for my princess,” Igneel announced, presenting Erza with a much more orderly bouquet he’d managed to hide behind his back.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you, Daddy!” Erza leaped to her feet to give her father a hug, examining the flowers as she waited patiently for him to set Natsu down and bid him get dressed so they could eat.

"I'm gonna eat a lot!" Natsu said with his mouth already full, "And then I'll get big and strong just like you, Daddy! I'll fit your clothes for sure!"

Igneel laughed and moved one of the sandwiches from his plate onto Natsu's. "I don't doubt that for a second. Here, have a little extra then. You need it a lot more than I do."

“That’s for sure,” Eileen teased, laughing at Igneel’s outrage when she caught the grape he tossed at her and popped it in her mouth.

Soon they’d eaten all the food, and with the sun warm and pleasant on their backs they spent a lovely afternoon exploring the forest, looking for any animals brave enough to show themselves. It wasn’t long before Natsu started to lag behind, exhausted by all his previous running around.

Igneel picked him up, carrying him in his arms so that Erza and Eileen could spend a little more time in the nature they both loved. Natsu’s warm breaths puffed ever slower against his neck, and with a sleepy, “Love you, Daddy,” he succumbed to sleep.

“I love you too, buddy.”

[hoboal87]

Some thoughts and a quasi fix-it on the Finale (SPOILERS)

I want to preface this by saying that I like the finale, if you didn’t, I completely get that, and if you just want to say nasty things, you can move on to the next post =)

I’ll try to keep my thoughts coherent, but no promises. Obviously, a lot of things had to change with this final episode of COVID-19, and I’ll try to address how I think they could’ve worked around it without changing the essence of this episode, which again, I’ll reiterate, I liked.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

As the episode opens, we see the boys living a “normal” life. They don’t have to worry about cosmic entities anymore, they can just do what they do best. I honestly loved this, the boys just being domestic: cooking breakfast, doing research, doing laundry, all of it. My one complaint about this opening montage is there is no clear passage of time. How long has it been since Chuck was rendered powerless? A day? A week? A few months? A year? In my opinion, it’s been maybe a couple of weeks, but I feel like the writers were trying to imply that it’s been a couple of months and it was just unclear. For me, that would have solved one of my few issues with the episode. So let's change it up a little =)

We open similarly, but in the background, we can see the date it is actually five years (or whatever amount) later. The boys are getting ready for their respective days, Dean is living in an apartment over a bar, and we watch as Sam returns from his run and enters a small house. Dean doesn’t just live above the bar, he owns it, finally having some normalcy in his life, this is what wants. He proudly displays pictures of Sam, Bobby, Mary and John, his own way of keeping them close.Sam walks into the kitchen and sees a note on the refrigerator.

“Gone to get supplies, see you tonight, Love, E.”

Sam smiles at the note as he twirls the silver band on his finger, taking in the black and white sonogram displayed prominently next to the note. We follow Sam through the house, and we see photos of his and Eileen’s wedding, and pictures of their families. His kids will never have questions about their pasts, about their families, Sam and Eileen are intent on that.

Dean opens his bar, it’s a steady crowd, flirts with some of the women, but isn’t really pursuing anything, he’s closed himself off to the idea of a wife and kids. He’s got a nephew that’ll be here in a few months anyway, and he’s already told Sam how he plans to spoil that kid rotten. We cut between Sam and Dean, watching them go through their day, Dean working at the bar, Sam with papers splayed in front of him, implying he’s gone back to school. They’re both content, finally getting what they’ve always truly wanted. They still hunt, that much is apparent as we see them at one point cleaning their weapons or doing research.

As Dean closes up the bar he sends Sam a message.

“You ready for tomorrow?”

Sam rolls his eyes playfully, “are you sure its the best idea?”

“Hell, yes. I was born ready, it’s my destiny. Tomorrow 8 am.”

This would be, maybe a 5 to 7 minute opening scene? Then we get the title card. The rest of the episode plays the same from here. Sam and Dean go on a mini-vacation, which turns into a hunt.

So about Dean’s death. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Personally, I don’t think there was any other way to end the series. As a bunch of people pointed out, Dean’s been saying some form of “I die bloody” since the beginning of the show. Now, did I want Dean to die? No. Dean deserved to live a full and happy life, but as Michael said, “since when do we get what we deserve?”

I rewatched the episode yesterday, and I SOBBED like a fucking baby throughout Dean’s death scene. I will agree it was a little Wincest-y, but, honestly, is it really that surprising? Sam and Dean have only ever had each other. Dean raised Sam, Dean is Sam's parent in every way that counts. A user pointed out, I’m so sorry if you see this please let me know and I will tag to your post, Dean speech starts more as a father to son type instead of brother to brother.

Sam is in shock when Dean tells him that he’s hurt, immediately going with “I’ll get the first aid kit.” The look on Dean’s face is heart-breaking, and you can see that he has already accepted his fate, he’s known since the second that the rebar (NOT A FUCKING NAIL) went through him that he was not walking away. Sam is going through all the stages of grief in just a few minutes.

Denial – “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Anger – “No, we are gonna get [the boys] somewhere safe.”

Bargaining – “I’ll find a way, I’ll find another way.”

Depression – “Don’t leave me. I can’t do this alone.”

Acceptance – “It’s okay, Dean. You can go now.”

All the while, Dean is telling Sam how proud of him he is, and that he “loves [Sam] so much.” Now, please correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that this is the first time that Dean has said to Sam that he loves him. I know we’ve heard him say it to other people and it’s definitely been implied, and the closest we got was in sacrifice, “don’t you think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you.”

Dean died in his brother’s arms, which to me, was beautiful. Can you imagine, though, Sam, carrying his brother’s lifeless body back to the Impala, setting him down gingerly in the back seat and driving back to the bunker?

I believe that we were supposed to get a lot of people at Dean’s funeral. Jody, Donna, Charlie, Bobby, Claire, (honestly, probably anyone who could be there.) But with travel restrictions into Vancouver, this had to change. It is not realistic for the writers/producers to ask people to quarantine for 2 weeks to shoot a half-day (if that) of filming. I did see that Samantha Ferris did say she wasn’t spoken to about the possibility of returning. I truly believe Shoshanna was supposed to be in this episode, but, her role was going to be very limited, and as much as I wanted to see her (obviously, from the above section) I firmly believe that she was supposed to be the woman Sam married.

Again let’s fix the second half of the episode:

Sam and Eileen give Dean a hunter’s funeral, and Sam quits the life altogether. He doesn’t want his son to ever lose him to a hunt. Eileen helps Sam through his depression, knowing exactly how it feels to lose your family. We get a similar montage, Sam takes over the bar, takes in Miracle, and keeps the Impala tucked away, for now, it’s too painful to even look at. Sam leaves Dean’s apartment as is for the longest time, afraid to move anything, what if he forgets where to put it back? We can see he’s just going through the motions, that is, until his son is born.

We see Sam cradling a newborn in his arms, Dean had joked from the moment Eileen announced her pregnancy that they should name the baby after him. Sam and Eileen laughed him off at the time, saying the world only ever needed one Dean Winchester. But now, Sam can’t think of any better way to honor his brother, than to name his son Dean.

Dean is in Heaven, greeted by Bobby who tells him all about new Heaven. Jack fixed it, and it is the Heaven that Dean deserves. When Bobby mentions Cas, Dean smirks, and Bobby assures him that Cas is around. Dean spots Baby, and tells Bobby that he's going to take her for a drive. Dean doesn’t know how long he's going to drive, but remembers Bobby’s words, “time works different up here,” and knows that eventually Sam will join him.

Dean watches from afar as Sam lives on, raising his son and daughter (cause honestly Sam would want more than one kid), he keeps them knowledgeable about the life, but they don’t hunt. On Dean Jr.’s eighteenth birthday Sam takes him to get an anti-possession tattoo, but it is more of a symbol to honor his family, Sam teaches Dean about the Impala, and how to take care of her, and he’s a natural mechanic just like his Uncle. Once a year, on the anniversary of his brother’s death, Sam sits in Baby, and feels connected to Dean, telling him much he misses him and how he wishes he was with him.

Dean watches as Sam grows old, and keeps his word, even though Sam didn’t know it, he’s been by his side the whole time. On his deathbed, Sam is surrounded by his children and Eileen (or an Eileen stand-in), who tell him it’s okay to go, and tells them all how much he loves them before letting go.

We cut to Dean, waiting on a bridge, the same one from his and Sam’s first hunt, and he can feel himself becoming whole again.

“Heya Sammy.”

[wincestbigbang]

2019 Master Post

​Title: Invisible Touch Author: ellerkay Artist: blindswandive Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Sibling incest, first time, mind control, mind control aftermath and recovery, mind rape, blow jobs, anal sex, kissing, making out, hand jobs, telepathy, guilt, shame, emotional hurt/comfort, barebacking Summary: A witch with mind control powers makes Sam and Dean have sex with each other for the first time, forcing them to confront their desire for one other. Afterwards, they find their way back to intimacy and to healing. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Undertow Author: laughablelament Artist: Nisaki (a.k.a. swan_song21) Rating: NC-17 Warning/Spoilers: non-graphic suicide attempt Summary: A not-so-brotherly riff on The Little Mermaid. “And the Broken Hearts, men without country, without family, are transfixed and transformed by the Song. But all is not lost. For the Love of a Mortal can melt the Mer Heart, and thus restore the Human Form.” -the lore Art: Live Journal | Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Suits Author: twoboys2love Artist: leaf_zelindor Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: important spoilers from season 1 to season 10 (If you haven't watched) Summary: Suits the boys have worn over the years... and the feelings they inspired. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Kale or Nada Author: smalltrolven Artist: tx_devilorangel Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for episode 14.13. Summary: A coda to episode 14.13 “Lebanon” set in the AU from the epic 300th episode. Sam is an ultra-rich internet-famous tech corporate lawyer that sends the best criminal defense lawyer in the country to get Dean out of his jam with the FBI. Within a few days of being released from FBI custody (with an apology!), Dean is sitting in the living room of Sam’s Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Slipping Through the Minutes Author: sci_fis Artist: emmatheslayer Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Omega Sam (16) and Alpha Dean have been in a relationship for a couple of years, but Dean refuses to mate with Sam until he turns 18, insisting that Sam should be old enough to give informed consent first. But when young unmated omegas start going missing, things may change. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Playtime Author: jdl71 Artist: cherie_morte Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dark Fiction, Blood, Sibling Incest, Murder, Violence, Kidnapping, Torture, Bottom Sam, Top Dean. Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester have embraced their dark desires for each other and for killing not just the supernatural. They travel, looking for a new toy for Sam to play with and something for Dean to hunt. They enjoy hearing the screams of those they hunt; Sam loves to see their blood drip from his knife while Dean enjoys the thrill of the hunt. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: After the End of Everything Author: amypond45 Artist: amberdreams Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: None Summary: Michael won. He took the world down, then opened a portal to another universe and moved on, leaving Sam and Dean to pick up the pieces. After his possession, Dean is a burned-out shell with no conscious memory of anything that happened during his time as Michael’s vessel. Sam takes his broken brother on the road, and together they make their way home, hoping to find others who made it through the End of Days, hoping to find a way back to each other. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: All My Loves Author: ncdover/ncdover1285 Artist: sandy79 Other Pairing(if applicable): Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, Dean/Lisa, Sam/Jess (mostly mentioned) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Underage Summary: They say that we fall in love with three people over our lifetime, each one for a specific reason. Each person that we fall in love with is something that we are seeking at that particular time in our lives. Dean has been falling for Sammy in many different ways over the years, for as long as he can remember. How could he possibly have three loves? So he sits down to think it through and decides that while he may have had three loves in his life, he has never stopped loving his Sammy, and never will. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Love, Lies, & Lap Dances Author: wicked-wincest-writer / cleighwrites Artist: bluefire986 Other Pairing (if applicable): Sam/Jess, Dean & clients (mentioned/background) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Angst, hypothermia, mentions of prostitution, frottage, anal sex, incest (duh!), slowest of burns Summary: Sam was a freshman at Stanford who had no idea how his big brother was paying for him to live off-campus. Dean was a part-time escort and a full-time liar. How will Sam react when he finds out exactly how Dean has been paying for everything since they left their dad behind? Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Tumblr | Ao3 Title: Dead Hearts Author: raving_liberal Artist: kuwlshadow Rating: R Warnings/Spoilers: Body/Medical Horror, Blood and Gore, Blood Kind (Kinda), Canon-Typical Violence, spoilers for Season 02 Summary: A gory vision sends Sam and Dean to New York to investigate a series of bizarre murder-suicides among organ transplant recipients. They soon find themselves racing the clock to save a kidnapped girl before she becomes the next victim. Nightmares and the memory of Dean’s heartsblood on his lips haunt Sam through an investigation that puts the brothers on the trail of an ancient Norse legend. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Catch the Wind Author: sarasaurusrex Artist: bluefire986 Other Pairing(if applicable): Castiel/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Mostly Wincest, Wincestiel at the end, teencest, Flashbacks, Time Travel, Action/Adventure, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Young Sam Winchester, Young Dean Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Butterfly Effect, Choices, Changing the past, OC Villains, Guilt, Castiel Does What Castiel Wants (Supernatural), Threesome - M/M/M, wound care, Making Out, Don't Wake Dad, Healing Sex Summary: When a rogue angel Castiel once spared begins murdering angels on the West Coast, Sam and Dean help Castiel hunt the angel down once and for all. Along the way they find themselves in a place they stayed in as teenagers. It brings back memories of Sam’s 16th birthday, when he was being hunted by a delusional friend of John's who was determined to stop the next King of Hell. Unbeknownst to Sam, Dean, or Castiel, the past and present are inexplicably intertwined, and sparing the angel in the past has unfathomable consequences for Sam and Dean's future. Fate, chance, and redemption must all be confronted for the trio to move on. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: There Goes the Neighborhood Author: amusawale Artist: tx_devilorangel Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam/Jessica Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Slow burn, canon compliant wincest, pre-series AU Summary: Dean didn't get to collect Sam from Stanford. They never took to the road together. Sam went on to be a lawyer and Dean did his hunting thing. But now Sam wants to run for mayor and he needs to scrub his record of this annoying brother who is a stain on his impeccable record. He meets with Dean, and asks him to "kill himself" so that Sam can be free of him. Dean agrees. Sam is dissatisfied now. Why does his brother find it so easy to let him go? (which, really, hypocrite much?" - the author says as an aside) Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Love the Sinner: Embrace the Sin Author: paperann Artist: 2blueshoes Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Explicit Sexual Content, Dark Themes Summary: While Sam and Dean were raised as hunters, it was their choice to continue the fight against evil—their duty to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. Time and time again, they’d save the world, fight the monsters, but in truth: Destiny doomed the Winchesters from the start. Why else was Sam born as Lucifer’s true vessel, spiraling into a demon blood addiction so easily and spectacularly—unless an inherent darkness resided inside him all along? How could Dean wield the Mark of Cain, only passed down through biblical blood and honed by those few deemed ‘worthy'—unless he wasn’t a natural-born sadistic killer? In a sad twist of irony, the Winchesters were always fated to be monsters, no matter how they tried to even the scales. Aboard a sinking ship, they chose insanity—Dean scraping together broken parts to stay afloat while Sam kept thinking love conquers all—maybe it was time to let go, to drown. Giving in didn’t necessarily mean giving up. Even if it hurt, there could be another life waiting for them. Together. Anything was better than being trapped in this cycle—whether it was cowardice or courage it didn’t matter—someone had to break it, before it broke them. Art: Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: For The Love Of Chuck (Or Not) Author: runedgirl Artist: a_biting_smile Rating: NC-17 Summary: After Chuck’s revelation, Sam becomes hopeless enough to want to give up on life itself, so Dean knows he has to take drastic action. What can they do that Chuck would hate enough to give up on his “favorite show” and let the Winchesters make their own choices again? Warning/Spoilers: Takes place directly after the Season 14 finale. Castiel appears as a side character, no romantic undertones. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal Title: A Map Without Landmarks is Useless Author: Zee487 Artist: An Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Violence Summary: When Sam is born, John props Dean’s elbow up on a pillow, carefully places the tiny wrinkled bundle into Dean’s arms, and tells Dean, “This is Sam. He’s your brother. You gotta watch out for him.” Dean looks at his brother’s big, clear eyes looking back at him and feels Sam’s tiny hand wrap around his finger and falls head over heels in love. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3

[holylulusworld]

Always remembered

Summary: One night was enough to turn her world upside down. Now she must cope with the aftermath of letting him in.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: pregnant reader, daddy!Dean, fluff, giving birth (nothing graphic), a hint of angst

<< Part 2

“I’m totally able to make me breakfast on my own, Winchester!” You mutter.

“You will sit in the armchair and wait for me to bring you your breakfast. You are nine months pregnant, so no talking back. Do as I say, Y/N.” Dean says staring you into the ground.

“Damn, I should’ve never agreed to come here.” Walking out of the kitchen cursing and muttering you see Sam smiling at you.

Jumping out of the chair he helps you sitting down. Getting pampered by two tall hunters slowly scratches at your nerves. You are pregnant and not handicapped.

“I still can do things on my own, Sam.”

“Uh, Dean asked us all to take care of you. I mean the baby could pop out every day…Right?”

“No! I still got two and a half weeks left. I mean it’s possible, but I got no indications like back pain, nausea or anything else. I should be fine for the next days.”

“But you won’t do anything exhausting, Y/N,” Dean mutters walking into the library with a tray full of pancakes along with fruits, cereals, and pickles.”

“Who shall eat all this stuff?” You chuckle.

“You have to eat for two. I wouldn’t mind having a pancake or two but most of the stuff is for my pregnant lady.” Dean states proudly.

“Damn I will get even fatter, Winchester. I’m already huge.”

“Not fat, nor huge, Baby. Simply more to love. Look at this beautiful baby bump. I bet Sammy is jealous right now.” Dean chuckles starting to rub your belly.

“You know I’m not Budai!”

“Budai?” Cocking a brow Dean looks at his brother.

“It is a Chinese superstition if you want to call it that. Budai was a cheerful Buddhist monk who distributed gifts to children, like our Santa, at least close. Budai in folklore is admired for his happiness and wisdom of contentment. Some folklore says that rubbing his belly brings wealth, luck, and prosperity.”

“Like stroking Santa’s beard,” Dean asks and you start laughing.

“Dean this is so cute. Did you actually do this? Stroked some smeary Santa’s beard in a mall?” You giggle.

“I was six or seven back then,” Dean mutters. “It was Christmas and dad left us alone, once again. I sneaked into the mall to steal a gift for Sammy and there was Santa. I heard it brings luck and grants a wish so I sat onto his lap and stroked the beard.”

Listening to Dean tears well up your eyes. You knew his childhood was far from normal, being a hunter’s child is always hard but at least you had a mother taking care of you.

“What did you wish for, Dean?” Sam asks.

“That dad comes home before Christmas Eve, that I can find the perfect gift for you. Also, I wished no one catches me stealing it. I wanted you to have a nice Christmas, at least for once.” Dean says while his fingers tremble slightly at the memory and your heart breaks.

Getting up, a bit clumsy due to your bump, you move your arms around the hunter. Sobbing into his chest you hold him tight.

“I’m fine…” He whispers.

“No, this is not a nice memory. This is so sad, Dean.”

“I got the gift for Sammy and he was happy. I cooked us some Mac and Cheese, we watched TV and I even stole a tiny Christmas tree.”

“I remember that Christmas, Dean. You stole me the Wizard of Oz. My first own book.” Sam says close to tears.

“I knew you always liked the story, so I stole it for you.”

“You’re such a good brother, Dean. You raised Sammy while you were a kid too. I know you will be a great father for our girl.” You say kissing his cheek softly.

Flustered Dean looks at his smiling brother and he wants to say something but then his pants and shoes are suddenly wet.

“What?” Dean gasps.

“Oh, crap…I think her water just broke.” Sam calls out looking at this big brother with wide eyes.

“We need…shit…Sammy…I…uh…the bag. Call Castiel and we need to hurry. I’m not prepared to help her at birth. God, what do we do now?” Dean asks panicked and you cup his face with your hands.

“Breathe Baby, just breathe. Now we will get my bag, but you should probably change your pants before we go. I’ll wait here and then we drive to the hospital. Just relax, daddy. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one calming you down?” Dean asks looking at you with wide eyes, the panic visible all over his face.

“Go and change your pants, Winchester. Sam can help me into the car.”

“Okay…wait…I’ll be right back.” The tall hunter stammers running in his wet pants toward your shared room. Starting to laugh you watch him stripping his pants of on his way.

“Why does this take so long? I want to be with her in this goddamn room!” Dean mutters pacing around the hallway. The usually so controlled hunter is slowly going insane.

“Dean calm down. The midwife said something about the child is in the wrong presentation. They try to…uh…turn her or something.”

“Oh…god…What if she dies? What if something’s wrong with the baby? Sammy…”

“Breathe Dean, just breathe,” Sam says. “You need to calm down. Y/N will not die, your daughter will be healthy, and we will bring them home safe.”

“How do you want to know, Sam? Are you a doctor now? What if anything happens. God, I can’t raise a child alone. I even managed to kill the plant Y/N bought last month, I gave her Whiskey.” Dean stammers looking at his brother.

“I suggest you do not give your daughter alcohol, and everything is going to be alright.”

“You think so? I mean, you are not just trying to calm me down?”

“Mr. Winchester?” A young nurse says, and Dean turns around, running toward her while almost stumbling over his own feet.

“Yeah, that’s me… How is my girlfriend, the baby? Are they alright?”

“Everything is fine now. Do you want to see your daughter and your girlfriend? Your brother can come in too. Ms. Y/L/N said she wants to see the two tall guys.” The girl giggles and Dean starts smiling like insane, he smiles so hard it hurts.

“We should enter the room then. Dean…stop smiling and start walking.” Sam teases.

“Walking…right. I need to walk.”

“Look at you, so tiny and cute. Damn, she’s attractive like her daddy.” Dean swoons holding the little bundle of joy in his arms.

“Dean Winchester!” You mutter.

“It’s true, she’s such a beauty. Look, Sammy, look at her. I bet she will break a lot of hearts.”

“Our daughter is barely a day old and you want her to break hearts right away?”

“She already won my heart and according to the look her Uncle is giving her she has Sammy’s heart too. And for sure you’ve got your mommy’s heart.”

Watching Dean with his daughter you smile. It’s the first time you see his weak side, his vulnerable side.

“Not just our daughter has my heart.”

“I know I stole it too.” Dean chuckles, cockiness in his voice he grins at you.

Five years later…

“Why are we going to the cemetery daddy?” The little girl asks.

“It’s mommy’s birthday and Mother’s Day.”

“Do you remember mommy?” She sniffs now.

“Of course, I remember your mommy, I will always remember her.”

“That’s great, daddy.”

Watching the girl talking to her father Dean swallows hard. His eyes land on you placing some flowers on his mother’s grave.

“Thanks for coming with me. I mean she’s not here, the fire took all of her. Honestly most of the time I avoided coming here.”

Gently placing one hand onto his arm you smile at your husband. He barely shows it but deep down inside, hidden behind his strength you can see the true Dean, the hurt boy, the lonely boy.

“We can come here to her birthday too, just like these two. You don’t have to hide your feelings, Dean.”

“I know…”

“Do you remember her?”

“I got a few good memories, but I was a little boy when she died. But at least I got some memories. Sammy got nothing.”

“It’s important to remember people you love.”

“I will always remember you. Even while you are right next to me.”

“I will always remember you too, Dean.”

Smiling he takes your hand into his to lead you back toward Baby. Giving the father and his little daughter one last glance he can barely hold back the need to walk faster.

Hearing his daughter calling his name he starts smiling, kneeling he holds out his arms.

“I guess your daughter will always remember you too, Dean.”

“Not just me, Y/N.”

“We both know she’s daddy’s little sunshine.” You chuckle sliding your fingers through his hair.

“Let’s drive home, Sammy is waiting with Eileen for us to come back and take care of Sammy Jr.”

“Then let’s roll Dean.”

THE END...

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

A View To A Winchester (Part 11)

Series Page

Summary: Julie’s starting a new life after divorce in a home with a very nice view.

A Dean X OFC story. I got this idea staring out the view of my home office window and thinking how nice it would be to have Dean Winchester to ogle.

Section Word Count: 5,570    

Section Content: fluff, flirting, angst, R-rated language, show level violence

~~~~~

Dean sipped slow at the steaming black coffee he’d picked up on his way to Cas’s house. Way too fuckin’ early. A dude in his sixties, walking a yippy Yorkshire, squinted hard at Dean biding time in Baby outside the tiny two bedroom cottage belonging to Castiel Novak. Tempted to give him the middle finger, Dean instead opted for a two finger friendly salute with a grin. The elder man continued down the sidewalk, his reflection eventually caught by Dean in the rearview mirror. He passed behind the Impala, stopped right at the tailpipe, and took a mental note of the license plate.

“Come on, man.” Dean mumbled to himself. “I can only handle so much stupid this early. The POS dog saved its owner, pulling him across the street and yapping the whole damn way.

He yawned and leaned back in his seat. The time on his watch confirmed it was way too early to be up and out of the house on a Saturday morning. Especially when he wasn’t on a job. Especially when, if Cas hadn’t shown up, he’d probably be in Julie’s bed sleeping. He grinned. Probably not sleeping.

No, Dean was pretty sure he would have woken Julie up very early to do more of what he wished they’d done last night. When he’d gotten back to his house after saying goodbye, he’d attempted to explain the term cockblocking to Cas. Cas had sat on the couch with perfect posture. He listened, as he always did when Dean explained something, with that dazed and confused expression. Dean paced back and forth in a state of irritability and arousal. “Do you know how long it’s been, Cas, since I’ve had a piece of ass?”

“I believe you’ve gotten pieces of ass more recently than I have, Dean. My last sexual encounter was with the reaper, April.” Cas had experienced much in his human form, but he still felt like an innocent, humorless child to Dean in moments like this.

“Piece of…” Dean shook his head. “Nevermind. Look, it’s been a long fuckin’ time, okay?”

Cas stared at the cushion between his open legs, processing. “My intrusion prevented you from reaching orgasm with Julie.” He stared back at Dean with a head tilt and puppy dog eyes. “I am sorry.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Whatever.”

Cas had then gone on about the troubles he was having with Jack. Dean took it all in and promised he’d come over bright and early the next morning to try and talk to the kid. Cas still looked perplexed as Dean scooted him out of the house, explaining they wouldn’t be playing cards that night.

The grass in front of Cas’s house was drenched in dew. A thin film of grey fog hung low in the air. Dean sipped hard and long at the coffee. He let the strong brew settle on his tongue and inhaled the dark roast aroma he craved. He needed the caffeine to do its job this morning. He’d only clocked a couple hours of sleep. It was nothing new. But he could usually catch up on the insomnia in the late morning when he was home. Not today. There were things on his agenda after he took care of this unpleasant family business. They would require way more energy than what he currently had to expend with Jack and Cas.

Julie is number one on my to do list. The other items being all the things I want to do to Julie.

His cock had begged for attention all night and morning. Even now, sitting in the driver’s seat, he could feel his semi press with insistence against the denim. But he’d refrained. It wasn’t like he hadn’t beat off to thoughts of Julie before. It had become a daily, sometimes multiple times a day, occurrence since that first night after he tasted her cobbler. He’d dropped the phone immediately after the text conversation had ended, letting her know how good her sweet treat had been, and jerked off imagining how sweet she tasted.

After getting a hint of what she tasted like last night, he was hell bent on having her wrapped around him the next time he came. He leaned back in his seat and tilted the rearview mirror to confirm he had that cheesy ass grin on his face from his thoughts of her. This is bad. The dissatisfaction of how Julie was getting under his skin battled with the want to experience this other feeling fully. You’re just gonna fuck it up. Can’t do normal. Tried it once and it didn’t stick. And, she’s too sweet to hurt.

Lisa had been sweet, too. But Lisa had a streetsmart edge that made her a kickass single mom long before Dean came into the picture. Plus, Lisa and Ben had the benefit of having their minds erased - thanks, Cas - of Dean’s existence after he’d put their lives in danger from being a part of his. If Dean tried the experiment again with Julie, there’d be no “Men in Black” take-it-back wipe. The once angel, now human, had lost his power after the final battle that had righted this world back on its axis two years ago. Jack was all human now, too.

The lack of celestial backup had been the hardest adjustment after over a decade of relying on it as a fail-safe. Dean could only imagine how it was for Cas. They’d had a few heart to hearts over whiskey, which now knocked Cas on his ass after one shot. The brother from another father had been to the mat for him and Sam more times than Dean could count. Helping save the world and giving up everything that made him special dropped Cas into a world of trivial every day that he would never snap out of. Not until he died. Which was another mindfuck for Cas. After centuries, he would die. There would be a finality to all of it. But, I’ll have my own version of heaven to look forward too, Dean. That’s something. I won’t be swallowed up by the empty and cease to be. My soul will be at peace. Dean had clapped his friend’s shoulder as he cried, realizing the same would happen to Jack. Someday.

After two years of keeping your nose as far out of normal as possible, you’ve got to go and mess with this sweet woman.

Dean tilted his head and started that inner debate he’d done too many times lately. To be fair, she started sniffing around me first.

Get off your high horse, asshole. You’ve been sniffed around dozens of times before and steered clear. You’re lonely and she’s so far from what you deserve that you’re curious. You wanna see if you can make something stick. Like Sammy has with Eileen.

Sammy’s moved on and is trying to build a life. Why shouldn’t I?

Because you’re a speeding train with non-existent brakes heading straight towards the edge of a cliff, that’s why. Fucking train wreck on bow legs.

The phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out. Julie was calling. It was 7:30 am. The emotional lashing removed from his psyche, swiped away with Baby’s windshield wipers. It was replaced by that feeling she’d been stirring up within him more lately. It was more than arousal. He denied himself to define it. If he did, it might disappear.

He accepted the call on the fourth ring while clearing his throat. “Well, good morning, beautiful.”

“Hey, Dean.” Her voice was lighter this morning, more like the tone he was used to hearing. Not that he at all minded the lower, commanding pitch of the indecent woman he got a preview of last night. Shit. His erection was growing. He shifted in his seat.

“Couldn’t wait for me to check in first, huh?”

She laughed. “Guess not. I didn’t see your car when I got up this morning. Things okay?”

“Yeah. Things are good.” He grinned and tapped a button on his phone.

“Are you trying to FaceTime me?”

“Sounds dirty.”

She laughed again. “Everything sounds dirty to you.” She sighed trying to sound done with him, but he knew she wasn’t. “Hold on.” He held the phone back. His screen only provided a quick preview of his own state. Bags under his eyes and unshaven, he didn’t look as put together as the night before.

The screen switched to a view of Julie. Her brown hair was up in a bun. The hair looked freshly washed as did the rest of her enticing olive colored skin. When I make her blush it’s got splotches of cotton candy pink all over it. He appreciated the slope and curve of her neck. Big, brown almond-shaped eyes stared him down, studying him, from behind glasses. He’d put her in the role of hot librarian in a few of his release sessions. He particularly liked the one where she was bent over a desk and he was fucking her from behind hard enough to knock books off nearby shelves. He had a sneaking suspicion she’d be up for that kind of roleplaying. He really liked her in those tight button up shirts she wore to work a lot.

Her voice brought him out of his erotic daydreaming. “You’re lucky I’m presentable. Or, I would have denied you.” She quipped. There it was, that little hint of dominance. It came out on occasion and thrilled him with the facets and possibilities of this seemingly normal, but very interesting, woman. “Where are you?”

“Outside Cas’s house.”

“You’re over Cas’s already?”

“Yeah. He asked if I’d talk to the kid. I had to get here early.” She sipped at her large mug of coffee and sat at her kitchen table. “Jack’s apparently planning a trip to visit a girl he met online. Was going to buy a plane ticket and leave today.”

Julie’s already big eyes widened farther. “Wow. When you say kid…”

Dean scratched at the stubble. “He’s twenty. Kid to me. Plus, Jack’s also…” He opened his mouth to attempt a description but shook his head instead.

Julie grinned. “Special?”

Dean nodded. “Must be hereditary.” Or a common “I was once an angel and I’m trying to figure out how to be human” thing. Fuck my life. How would this woman ever understand and be okay with even an ounce of this insanity?

“Still there? I think you froze.”

Dean had gone into his thoughts long enough for Julie to think the connection had been lost. “I’m here.” He cleared his throat. “It’s been tough. Cas tried to shelter him from a lot of things. Can’t control him anymore.”

Julie shrugged. “Well, no, of course not. He’s his own person. He’s going to have to make mistakes and learn from them.”

“Yeah. This might end up being more of an intervention for Cas, I think.”

She gave him a slight smile. “I hope things go well.”

“Thanks.” His mouth perked up. “What are you doing later?”

Julie grinned. “Wasn’t planning on much today. Run some errands after breakfast. Lazy Saturday.”

“Can I come by?”

Her eyes lit up. “Of course. But you might want to rest up first. You look tired.”

He puckered his lips together in thought before he asked, “are you planning to wear me out?”

She nodded. “Lots of pent up frustration I need to get out.”

His tongue swiped over his top lip. “Can’t wait.”

That produced a giggle and shake of her head. “Bye, Dean.” She waved a few fingers in front of her face.

“Bye, Jules.” She ended the call first. He didn’t think he would have been able to. He much rather preferred hiding in his car, staring at that pretty face, than having to go and do something even close to parenting with Jack. Hell, I’ll be parenting Cas today, too.

He groaned along with the hinges of Baby’s driver side door as he got out.

~~~~~

Dean drove back into his neighborhood and past Julie’s house around two o’clock. Her little blue compact wasn’t under the carport. Damn toy car. He shook his head. At least it’s a Chevy.

Dean had taken a sensible approach with Jack. When he got down to the nuts and bolts of it all, the kid was bored and looking for an adventure. And horny as hell. Something Dean could easily relate to at that particular moment. It took some time, but Dean convinced him to save up his earnings from his upcoming summer job. If things were still hot and heavy long distance with this girl, he should take a trip to see her in Texas during Winter break. For now, Dean enlightened him to the beauty and intricacies of sexting and phone sex. Jack was all smiles by the time Dean had left Cas’s house.

Once Dean pulled into his own driveway, he texted Julie. Just got home. Going to pass out. Call when you get home. I’ll jump the fence and be right over. He smirked, happy with the blend of eagerness and cheese in his composition. A decision to shower before his nap set him back fifteen minutes. The warm water relaxed and the steam released the residual alcohol from his pores. Sleep was merciful and came as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He stirred and was half-woken up to Wes’s voice drifting in from his open bedroom window. A pillow was about to be used to muffle the disruption when he identified another voice and cocked his head to listen.

Brigida? What the hell is she doing here? Dean moaned. Ugh, am I gonna get cockblocked by the feisty little Italian mother, too?

“It’s not like Giulia. I told her to come by and pick up some sausage and peppers I made. She said she’d be by around 11:00. And, now, she’s not picking up her phone. It doesn’t even ring, Wes. Just goes to that voicemail. And the map thingy says she’s here still. What does that mean?”

Wes mumbled something Dean couldn’t quite make out. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and checked the screen. No notifications appeared. He tapped his messages to make sure he hadn’t missed a reply from Julie. Nothing. His lips pursed. He tried to call her. Straight to voicemail. His heart sped up when he noticed the time. Six o’clock.

Dean shot up in bed, already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He pulled on some sneakers and hurried out to the backyard.

Brigida stood near the divide between Julie and Wes’s backyard. A large aluminum tray rested on her forearms and her purse dangled at the elbow. Wes was at his grill down near the edge of his own driveway. She and Wes both turned to Dean at his approach toward the fenceline.

“Dean-ah. Have you seen Giulia today?” There was no smile on her face in the greeting. The little lady was on a mission.

“I haven’t, Brigida.” His hands gripped the fence. “Everything alright?”

She shook her head. Her mouth opened and shut. “I- it’s not like her.” Her lips began to quiver.

Aw, hell. Dean jumped over the fence and rushed to Brigida. He pulled one of the patio chairs close to her short, stocky frame. Easing her to sit, he removed the warm tray from her grip and placed it on the table.

Wes came to her side with a pair of greasy tongs in hand. “I’m sure it’s nothing and Julie’s alright, Mamma.” Wes bumbled out the soothing statement. A stale stench of alcohol and pot emanated from the hippie.

Dean knelt down to talk to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Did you knock on her door, ring the doorbell, Brigida?”

She nodded.

He pressed further. “Don’t you have a key? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you let yourself in to check on her.”

“Wes told me he saw her leave earlier. And, I didn’t want to go in there by myself.” Her eyes darted to Wes and back to Dean. She leaned in and tried her best to whisper. “I thought, if she was home, she might be busy and didn’t want to walk in on… well, now that I know you were at your house and alone…”

Dean waited for more clarification. Someone else might have missed the tiniest of smiles on her aging lips. But, not Dean. “When I talked to her this morning, she said she might be seeing you later. Told me she had a nice time on your date last night.”

Wes tapped his tongs together at that bit of information. Dean smiled. Warmth shot over his cheeks. “Ah. Well, when I got home this afternoon her car wasn’t here.”

“When was that?” Brigida asked.

“About two.”

“Should we call the police?” Brigida pulled her phone out of her purse.

Dean shook his head. “Police won’t do anything. They’ll say it’s only been a few hours, really, since anyone’s heard…”

“It’s not like her.” Brigida repeated. “Something’s wrong.”

Dean nodded and patted her shoulder again. He’d only known Julie for a few weeks but even he knew something wasn’t right. From their texts and conversations, he’d found out a lot about the relationship she had with her mother. They were extraordinarily close. Their communications were daily.

Brigida wouldn’t be left waiting around without an explanation. Julie would have known it would result in a car ride over to check to see what happened. It made no difference that her adult daughter was competent and independent. Even if there was some possible hanky panky going on with Dean, Brigida made it abundantly clear she’d knock on doors and ring doorbells and wait in a backyard until her daughter told her everything was fine. This woman, who immigrated from Italy with no more than an elementary school education, was a fierce protector who would not be ignored. Dean made a mental note to not get on her bad side.

But first, they had to find Julie.

“I saw Julie leave around ten. I was working on the garden.” Wes piped in.

By now, Samuel had come out of the house and wandered over to the discussion. “What’s wrong?”

“Julie’s missing.” Wes stated.

“Missing?” Samuel’s eyes bugged out in alarm.

Dean stood up, his hand still on Brigida’s shoulder. He could feel her beginning to shake. “She’s not missing.” He attempted to defuse the escalation and nodded down to Brigida. “We’re just trying to figure out what might be keeping her out this long. She hasn’t been in contact with anyone.”

Samuel nodded back at Dean and placed a hand on Wes’s shoulder as well. Dean knew Samuel would try to redirect his partner with the phrasing of his words. “She did leave around ten. I was taking care of the flower beds out front.” Samuel snapped a finger. “She talked to that woman passing out those flyers, Wes.”

“Flyers?”

Samuel clarified. “Missing dog. She came by our porch and asked if we’d keep an eye out, right before she went over to Julie’s.”

“Pretty chocolate lab.” The expression on Wes’s face about the dog matched Brigida’s, thinking about Julie. “Where’s that flyer?” Wes slipped from under Samuel’s grip and went towards the direction of the grill. Man needs a leash. Dean shook his head.

Samuel sighed. “Julie seemed to know her. They talked for a few minutes at the end of her driveway. I’d gone back into the house for something. I saw Julie’s car driving up the lane when I came back out.”

“But, you’ve never seen that woman before?”

Samuel shook his head.

Wes shot back with the flyer and handed it to Dean. Aside from a picture and the name of the dog, there was only a number to call if someone could provide information. Dean turned the paper over but there was nothing on the back. A detail about Wes and Samuel’s house popped into his head. “You guys have one of those doorbell cameras, don’t you?”

Samuel smiled. “Yep.” He pulled out his phone, already going into the app to pull up the time in question.

“How about I get you something to eat, Mamma?” Wes asked Brigida.

She waved a hand in silence.

“Here it is.” Samuel passed his phone over to Dean.

He squinted at the video, impressed with the image’s clarity. His eyes widened in recognition. “Son of a bitch.”

“What?” Brigida, Wes, and Samuel asked in unison.

“I’ve seen Cocoa’s owner before. Last night, actually. At the restaurant we went to. She did know Julie.” Dean’s mind started putting puzzle pieces together.

“Maybe she’ll know where she was going.” Brigida exclaimed.

Dean raised a finger and pulled out his phone. He copied the number from the flyer into his keypad and dialed. His mouth pursed when it went straight to voicemail and he listened to the generic robot voice repeating the number. He waited for the beep. "Hi, I've got some info on your lost dog, Cocoa. You can reach me at the following number." After leaving his cell contact he hung up. He turned to Brigida. "I'll see what I can get out of her when she calls back."

"But, she'll be all hopeful about Cocoa," Wes began.

“What restaurant?” Brigida stood up. “We should go over there and talk to her.”

Dean nodded with caution. “Absolutely, Brigida. I’m going to go and do that right now.” He forced her to stare at him. “You’re going to stay here, with Wes and Samuel, in case Julie comes back home. Alright? I promise, I’ll let you know if I find out anything. With your permission, can I go into Julie's house with you and take a quick look around before I head out?”

“Of course.” She patted his cheek. “Such a good man.” She fished the key out of her purse, ready to walk up to the sliding door.

He shot Brigida a smile, attempting to hide his own worry. “Let’s get you inside so you can wait for your daughter to come home.”

~~~~~

Dean had inspected every room in Julie’s home. His inner radar picked up nothing weird or unusual. He wished he had his EMF meter with him. Next time I’m here I’ll do a proper sweep for her. When Julie’s back. Just to make sure she won’t have an unruly specter to contend with after this is over. And she’s back.

All he deduced was proof of a life being unpacked, reorganized, and put back together again. He’d stolen a few seconds in her office to stare at the picture of a teenage Julie with her awkward prom date. In her bedroom, he sniffed at the perfume bottle holding the scent she’d worn last night. Though nothing was amiss, the tangible remnants of her existence filled Dean with dread. Here. Then gone. In an instant. So many people in his life had disappeared like that. Not Julie, too.

He refused to rile up Julie’s mother with any more fear than she was already producing. She gave him an unexpected, long, and strong hug for a woman of her diminutive stature. “Find her, please.” He gave her a slight smile and rushed out into the backyard only to freeze on the lawn, unsure of his next step.

Possible ways to track her down ticked through Dean’s head. I could call in that favor.

A scroll through his phone’s contacts skidded to a stop. “Detective Tullman.” The thick southern accent answered.

“Marty. Dean Winchester.”

“Ah, Dean.” Dean had heard that particular phrase with that hesitant inflection countless times by a select group of people. These individuals crossed paths with Dean in his other line of work. Everything they knew of the world had been upended in an instant; usually the instant when Dean showed up on their doorstep. An encounter pulled them into the nastiness that lived under the translucent veil of normality.

“What can I do ya for? Aren’t in a jail cell sleepin’ off a bender, are ya?” The detective’s tone changed as Dean knew it would. What had started out a year back as a collaborative and mutually beneficial meeting on a standard bail enforcement job escalated into something much worse. Marty called Dean to relay his skip had been found; shot by a security guard after a bank robbery attempt in Newark. He was in an ambulance headed to the trauma center at the nearest hospital. His accomplice had escaped and was on the loose.

Only problem was, Dean was staring at his skip in a backyard that belonged to an apparent girlfriend. Was he sure they had the right guy? Dean sent Marty a picture of the person he was watching. The detective high-tailed it to the house a mile from the crime scene. The fucking thing shed its skin in the tiny yard while he and Marty looked on in bewilderment over the top of the wooden fence.

A chase ensued near abandoned train tracks. Marty bum rushed it to the ground but got overpowered. The monster pulled a knife from its boot and raised it over its head. Sunshine glinted off the blade as it readied to sink the tip into the detective’s chest. Dean shot the knife out of its grip. He followed by firing two silver bullets into its heart. What he was pretty certain was the dead body of a shapeshifter slumped on top of Marty.      

Thoughts and details came together in Marty’s head once the shock wore off. The body in front of him was the other bank robber. He, or it, had known the skip for a while and were low level partners in crime. Dean suggested the shifter may have had a hard on for the other guy’s girl, who thankfully wasn’t home. Most monsters also battled human vices. Lust and greed were a common denominator.

The detective came up with a story to cover their combined asses. They both spent a couple hours at the shootout location rehashing it over and over. Dean watched Marty hold his shit together quite well with a ton of law enforcement, CSI, and emergency personnel swarming like bees for evidence and details.

Dean and Marty bonded over cold beers at the closest bar. Dean found out Marty had been deployed to Iraq back in 2003. He’d been on the frontline of war for two years. He was a reliable, steadfast soldier. Nervous before a battle, but willing to put his life on the line for the greater good. They had a lot of commonality when it came to bloodshed. The nightmares that collided and crept into their days without warning simply involved different enemies.

“I need some help.”

Marty chuckled. “Ain’t gonna cost me my badge is it? I know I owe you my life, but I still got a wife and kids to feed.”

“Shouldn’t. Friend’s gone missing. It’s only been half a day, but it’s not adding up.”

“Local friend?”

“Yeah. Pike Creek.”

“Whaddya got for me?”

He smiled and rattled off Julie’s full name and the license plate he’d committed to memory. “Drives a blue, compact Chevy,” He added. “Five foot five. Long brown hair, probably in a ponytail, brown eyes, wears glasses. Italian, if that helps.”

“She cute?” Marty asked.

“Very.”

“Alrighty, I’ll have some guys keep an eye out in the area.”

“I’m gonna do my own investigating. Appreciate it, man. Thanks.”

“Thank me if I find ya somethin’.” He hung up.

Samuel popped into Dean’s view from under Julie’s covered patio. “What are you going to do when you get to the restaurant?” The balding man folded up his glasses and hung them from the collar of his t-shirt. Dean had learned from interactions over the past two years that Samuel was sharp and much harder to misdirect than Wes.

“Just ask this woman some questions.” Dean began his cut through their backyard to shorten the walk back to the house. He wasn’t keen on hopping the fence again.

Samuel kept pace with his quick steps. “Why would she answer any of your questions?”

“She saw me with Julie last night. I’m not some random stalker.” He tapped Samuel’s elbow. “Don’t you worry. I have some other tricks up my sleeve.”

“I’m sure you do.” His tone was hopeful.

Are you really flirting with me, dude? Now? “Listen, Samuel. Would you sit with her? I’d ask Wes, but…”

“Brigida doesn’t need unintentional, emotional triggering.” Samuel nodded. “You’ve got my and Wes’s number, right? Call one of us with good news.”

When Dean slid into Baby’s driver seat fifteen minutes later, he’d donned a suit that had been hanging in his closet, unworn, for over six months. That was the last time he had impersonated an FBI agent. The badge was still in the jacket’s inside pocket.

His hunting trips, the ones that had always really mattered, were few and far between now. Six months ago, he’d introduced himself as agent Agent Barrow on that excursion near Atlantic City. The four-day ghost investigation ended with a salt and burn. The corpse was found buried on the grounds of an abandoned chemical plant.

Noxious fumes had permeated the air around him with each shovel full of earth. The stench seeped into and clung to the well-creased suit pants. He should have changed before the dig; that is, if he’d remembered to bring a change of clothes from the motel to start. He was getting rusty from a lack of daily discipline, forgetting what had become rote for decades.

He remembered hiking back to Baby around two am, exhausted, after exhuming the remains. There was no way he was contaminating the car’s interior with that smell. So he drove back to the motel wearing only his boxers, dress shoes, socks, and his watch. The stinky clothes were stuffed in a garbage bag. After he helped the soul find peace, his reward was walking through the motel parking lot, up a flight of stairs, to his second floor room in only his skivvies. Had to get the damn suit dry cleaned, too.

Dean caught a light whiff of the chemicals, hopelessly embedded in the suit threads forever. His mind raced with a million thoughts driving to Makenzie’s steakhouse. But Julie was at the forefront of them. It was a long twenty minute drive.

Find her, please. How many times had he heard similar distressing requests? Hundreds, maybe. All of them had a missing loved one they were desperate to track down and bring home safe. How many times had he not been able to do that? Not today. He shook his head and tried to smile. She’s not done with me yet.

Julie’s voice bubbled up into his mind when he glanced at the passenger seat.

“So, Baby belonged to your Dad?” She attempted some conversation as Dean raced to beat the reservation.

“Yep.” He responded, eyes on the road swerving in and out of traffic. Once he was happy with his spot in the fast lane, no one in front of him for a good stretch, he cocked his head in her direction. Her eyes, big and brown, inspected the interior while her hand clamped on the door handle. “Pretty, isn’t she?” Dean smirked, proud.

“She is. Almost as pretty as her owner.” Her gaze locked onto his lips.

“Hey now.” He put on the show he knew she wanted and licked them nice and slow. “She’ll get offended, you thinking I’m prettier.”

“I’m sorry, Baby.” She stroked the dash. “It’s true, though.”

Dean laughed. “I’m pretty, huh?” He shot back at Julie and glanced in the rearview mirror before crossing over three lanes of traffic to get off the interstate.

Julie gasped. “Going to kill us before our date even gets started. If you’re going to drive like a maniac, you should at least be wearing a seatbelt.”

Baby careened down the ramp. When he got onto the avenue, his grip lifted off the wheel to fasten his lap belt. Both hands raised up in the air and he used his knee to steer. “Happy?” He reveled in her surprised reaction. The combo of scared and pissed off made her look even cuter.

“Okay, show-off.” She pointed at the wheel. “Hands at ten and two. Now.”

“Bossy.” He mumbled, returned his hands to the correct placement on the wheel, and pretended he wasn’t turned on by her commanding behavior. Slowing down in traffic, he shot her a sassy grin. “You done?”

“Done? “With you?” She tossed back with an equal amount of sass. “Just getting started.”

His ringing phone shot him out of his recollection. A glimmer of hope filled his voice as he answered. “Got something for me, detective?”

“Not sure if it’s anything good, my friend.” Marty was a straight shooter. “Officer found her car in a shopping center parking lot. Mile down the road from her house, in your neighborhood.” Marty was very good at his job. He didn’t miss a detail and double checked every bit of info. “No one in the vehicle. I’ve asked my guy to go into the stores and ask around. Have her paged, if needed. As long as we don’t get another emergency that takes him away, he’s on it for the next hour.”

It wasn’t bad news. Yet.

Part 12

Series Page

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summertime mindset - pt. 9

grocery stores & confessional walks

masterlist for summertime mindset

Timing is hard to get right and summer doesn’t last forever. You and Tyson learn the hard way.

word count: 2.1k

note from the writer: I cannot believe we’re almost done. just an epilogue left. what. how. 

SUMMER

“Next time, I’m driving.”

“You don’t even know your way around town.” Tyson returned your playful comment, nudging you teasingly as he fell in step with you on your trek across the parking lot and into the grocery store. There was so heat in your glare, and you even drew a laugh out of him as a result of the look. Though you had been living in the town for nearly an entire summer, you still got lost trying to navigate. “Okay, fine.” He chuckled. “Next time you can drive.”

“Thank you.” You smiled proudly, as if you won some grand prize. The doors to the grocery store opened automatically and you welcomed the cool breeze with a content sigh. “You brought the list, right?”

“I have never once used a list while grocery shopping.” Tyson beamed playfully, pulling a cart out from the stack of others as you rolled your eyes at him. Your aunt and his mother had specifically written out a list of items that you needed to pick up for the grand ‘end of summer’ barbecue they had planned.

Living in denial, you had yet to refer to it as the end of summer barbecue.

“You better have the list memorized, Jost.” You joked, wandering into the grocery store with him by your side. You heard him chuckle, and mumble an affirmative ‘oh, I do’ before he took off in the direction of the frozen food aisle—you knew for a fact that you didn’t need anything from there. Muttering to yourself, you chased after him. “Such a child.”

“You can’t have a barbecue without popsicles.” He assured you, reaching into the freezer and pulling out a box of rocket pops. He was grinning wide and goofily, and you couldn’t help but mirror his smile.

“When you’re right, you’re right.” You agreed with a laugh, watching with a hammering heart as he tossed the box into the cart. Before you could move on, he closed the distance between you and him, pressing a sweet and short kiss to your lips. You grinned, but chose not to question his sudden act of affection.

As you moved throughout the store, Tyson tossed in various things that he didn’t need—claiming that if he got caught, his nutritionist wouldn’t be happy. You couldn’t help but agree after a bag of marshmallows landed on top of the cookies he has snagged on impulse. You sent him away to get a package of hamburger buns, and when he returned you were inspecting the paper plates, trying to decide which brand you wanted to get.

You hummed along to the song that was playing throughout the store, the catchy Come on Eileen from the eighties that you had heard dozens of times. You heard Tyson approach, but before you could turn and ask his opinion on the plates, he had spun you around quickly, steadying you with his hands on your waist and his lips on yours. Distantly, you registered that the package you had been holding dropped to the ground as your hands settled on his chest as he held you close.

Your head was swimming as a result of the kiss, and how much he meant to you. He was Tyson, your Tyson, goofy, spontaneous, and fun. You had honestly one of the best summers of your life, and it was because you had met him.

When you pulled away, Tyson was looking at you with a look of adoration in his eyes. You reached up, fluffing the curls on the top of his head, and he grabbed your hand before you could retract it and pressed several soft kisses to your knuckles.

“What was that about?” You questioned, though you were far from complaining. He smiled, more adoring than his usual playful one, but it was still a look you loved earning from him.

“‘Cause I think I’m in love with you.” He explained causally. Your smile widened, arms winding around the back of his neck as you tried to compose yourself enough to repeat the almost-sentiment. It was crazy, you thought, to feel so strongly about some that hadn’t even been in your life four months earlier. But like everything else with Tyson, loving him came easily. Leaning up, you gave him another kiss in the paper plate aisle of a grocery store you didn’t know how to drive to.

“I think I love you, too.”

PRESENT

You were nervous, that was for certain.

It had been an entire week since the last time you had seen Tyson, hockey and work obligations keeping you from running to him. But, he was back in Denver, and you had gotten out of your last meeting of the day. Though you were stressed, tired, and in need of dinner, you drove to Tyson’s apartment complex instead of your own.

You were a buzzing mess of nerves and excitement by the time you reached Tyson’s floor, and from the last snapchat he had sent you, you recognized that he was lounging on his couch. You knocked on his door, rocking back and forth from your heels to the balls of your feet. He answered the door within a minute, and you were met with a look of confusion. You hadn’t told him you were coming over, but then again, he hadn’t warned you either.

“Hi.” You started meekly, whatever speech you had created in your head going out the window the moment you saw Tyson. He looked tired, with bags under his eyes and tension in his shoulders.

“Hey.” He returned the stiff greeting, stepping aside to let you into his apartment, but you shook your head. You had a plan for the evening, and you intended to stick to it, no matter how rocky your start was.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

He looked at you with confusion, but after you let a tiny smile slip, he was shrugging on his coat and heading towards the elevator. He was quiet, you could tell he was trying to get a read on you, but you focused on keeping your heart steady and putting one foot in front of the other.

“Listen, if you're just going to tell me you don’t feel the same, we don’t have to go for a walk. You can just tell me right now, and I’ll be fine.” He started as soon as the elevator doors opened in the lobby. Even so, he followed you as you exited.

“Tyson?” You started, turning to look back at him with an impish smile. You watched in amusement as his eyes widened slightly as you slipped your hand into his. It felt so familiar but brand new and exciting, that his simple touch was utterly exhilarating. It did nothing but reaffirm that you were making the right choice.

“Yeah?” He replied quickly, and you could hear a smile in his tone. Glancing over at him, your suspicions were proven correct, as he was practically beaming at your conjoined hands.

“Stop talking.” You chuckled, bracing yourself for the cold Denver winter as you stepped out of the lobby. The first time you had gone on a walk with Tyson it had been a lot warmer, and you smiled softly at the memory.

“So if you’re not here to let me down…” Tyson trailed off, his tone an odd mixture of nerves and giddiness that you couldn’t help but relate to.

“Do you remember when I first ran into you a few months ago?” You asked Tyson, not answering his unasked question. You felt his confused gaze on you, but you studied your steps as he hummed in affirmation. “Well, my aunt had sent me a picture that day, of you and I from that summer.”

“Which one?” He asked, though you could tell he wasn’t sure where you were going with your current train of thought.

“From the first time you taught me how to rollerblade. I looked so happy in the photo, so happy with you. And I hated it.” You explained, brows creased together as you tried to accurately piece together what was going through your mind. From your position standing close beside him, you could feel him tense at your last few words.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, out of what you assumed was a need to fill the silence. You decided that you weren’t going to argue over whose fault it was and wasn’t that you lost touch, and continued on.

“But I’m happy now. Happier, I think.”

“Now that we’re friends.” He supplied his own conclusion, sounding defeated. You stopped walking then, on the corner of a street you really weren’t sure the name of. You probably hadn’t made it farther than a block from his apartment building, but you had been so wrapped up in him and your own head, that you could’ve walked for miles without realizing it.

“You said you still like me.” You stated, not a question. Tyson nodded, and you wondered if his cheeks were red from blushing or the cold.

“I still love you.” He confessed, and it was your turn to have your eyes widen in shock. You had never fully confessed to loving the other, though you had gotten close to the sentiment and Michael had his fair share of teasing comments directed towards you about Tyson’s feelings, though he usually had a drink or two in him. You had never heard him say it, completely, and it knocked the breath out of you for a moment. Taking your silence as a negative reaction, he began retracting his statement. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that—”

“I love you, too. Still.” You interrupted. While your original intention had been to simply tell him you had feelings for him, you knew nothing felt more right than confessing what you just did. Tyson had a reaction similar to yours; wide eyed shock and a hammering heart. “I think I’ve always loved you. We just didn’t get the timing right.”

“Do you think we could get it right this time?” He asked hopefully, taking a hesitant step towards you. After receiving a small smile and an even smaller nod in response, his grin grew. You couldn’t hold back your own elation, a breathy laugh falling past your lips.

“I know we can, Tys.” He smiled even brighter at your words, and reached a hand up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His touch was gentle, and his fingertips ghosted down your jaw, before he pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger. Tilting your head ever so gently up to meet your gaze, you couldn’t help your grin as he looked adoringly at you.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to.” It was only seconds after the words left you that he pressed his lips against yours. One of your hands wrapped around the back of his neck while the other gripped his jacket in a bid to keep him close. Not that you’d have any problems with him moving too far away, if the way he was holding you tightly was any indication.

Kissing Tyson was like coming home after a long day. He was familiar, yet thrilling, and you wondered just how you had gone so long without him by your side. It was easy to forget you were freezing on the street corner in Denver, and not back at your aunt’s house in Vancouver bathing in the summer sun. He warmed you from your head to your toes, and there was no way you could even hope to hide your broad smile after breaking the kiss.

Luckily, Tyson was just as incapable of hiding his joy.

“I promise I won’t fuck it up this time.” Tyson breathed, dropping his forehead against yours and grinning like a madman. You chuckled at him, too excited and too happy to come up with something to assure him that he wouldn’t. Instead, you leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his lips. At this, a boyish look took over his features. “You missed.”

“Oh, did I?” You laughed, adjusting your position so that both your hands were settled on his chest as he straightened and rested his on your hips. He nodded, the grin that you loved on full display. “Well, we can’t have that.”

“Nope.” He mumbled against your lips, having already bent down to connect your lips to his. If it weren’t for the chill that ran through you, you would have been content to stand there and exchange sweet nothings with him for the rest of the evening.

“Take me home, Tyson.” You grinned, threading your fingers through his. He squeezed your hand, his broad smile never once wavering. He ducked down, capturing your lips in another quick kiss like he couldn’t help himself. You didn’t mind, each kiss from him felt like a monument of weight was lifted from your shoulders.

“Gladly.”

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: The Trap (15x09)

Whaaaat did I just watch though? That made me... so happy? In the sad way? You know. You get it.

Cons:

I understand that the actress playing Eileen can't be in all the rest of the episodes, but I'm still sad to see her leave. It reminds me of Mary leaving, after her resurrection - just a plotty excuse to get a certain actor out of the show for a while. I wish it wasn't necessary. Eileen had better be in several more episodes, and she had better f**king live. That's all I'm sayin'.

Jared and Jensen were clearly having fun playing vampires, which is good for them, but it was a little too cheesy for my taste. Especially when Vamp!Sam got shot and Vamp!Dean attacked Jody. That should have been actually moving - this idea that even as a monster, Dean would go berserk watching Sam die. But instead I was too distracted by Dean's silly monster attack face. It's a small thing, but still.

Pros:

So let's start with the Purgatory stuff. This whole subplot was really just an excuse for Dean to emotionally apologize to Cas, and you know what? I am not mad about it. Really, it's a simple quest - get in, find magic flower, get out, create weapon to trap Chuck. So instead of watching two people hunt monsters, grab a flower, and get the hell out of dodge, we focus on the emotional aspect of this relationship.

First off, I love that Dean and Cas have to go into Purgatory knowing that Chuck has Eileen and Sam. You can see how torn Dean is, how every instinct is telling him to run to his brother immediately. But Cas is done caving to whatever Dean wants. He's scared for Sam too, but he knows that the only way to defeat Chuck is to follow through on Michael's plan. Once they're there, Dean is continually pissy, and Cas just doesn't have time for it. He scoffs at Dean's suggestion that they split up, and then later, as they are following their captive Leviathan to the flower they need, we get the exchange that everyone is already talking about: "You left." "I left, but you didn't stop me." Like... excuse me? That's the most... that's just... how is that not two exes being angry and bitter and heartbroken with each other? It was so much!

And then they get separated, and Dean searches for him. When there's only thirty minutes left until the rift closes, he realizes that he might have to leave Cas behind in Purgatory. For the second time. I love everything that goes unspoken here, because I truly believe that Dean would stay in Purgatory, and miss his chance to go home, to keep looking for Cas. But he can't do that, because Chuck has Sam. The prayer was... it was a lot. I know some people were disappointed and wanted some big declaration of love, but my expectations have always been pretty low when it comes to Destiel content.

So... to see Dean pray to Cas, literally fall to his knees part way through that prayer, to see him apologize, to see him say "of course I forgive you" and "you're my best friend," to see him acknowledging his own anger and how he takes it out on Cas, and how that isn't fair... I was overwhelmed. And Jensen really didn't pull any punches with the emotional nature of his reaction. We've seen a lot of dramatic angst speeches from Dean over the years - it's one of the show's trademarks. This isn't even the first time we've seen one of these speeches that's mostly about Cas. But this one isn't the typical "single man tear" type. Dean is openly weeping, his voice cracking as he repeats "I hope you can hear me." He thinks he might be saying goodbye to Cas forever, and it's so fucking powerful.

And that hug! Cas waiting by the rift for the last possible second, Dean planning to do the same, and then - they're reunited, and Cas got what they came for in the first place! I loved the hug, I loved Cas telling Dean: "I heard your prayer." It's just so - intimate. Dean praying to Cas is intimate, and it always has been, and it kind of drives me bonkers that it even exists.

Benny being dead was an interesting choice... they got the actor to come back for at least one scene, so it's odd not to see him here. That said, I appreciated that the writers didn't forget about him. Of course Dean would ask. And we also see Cas offering his sympathies, which leads in to their snippy exchange.

Let's go ahead and turn to the main plot of the night... Chuck systematically breaking Sammy's heart and fortitude. I am eMOTIONAL right now. I love that Chuck uses Eileen to cut Sam, that is just so dark and twisted and awful, and I felt so bad for both of them. But this isn't enough to break Sam Winchester, of course.

So Chuck tries a different tack, showing Sam what will happen if Dean and Cas swoop in and save the day, and defeat Chuck. The grim reality of the future is this: without God in place to keep balance, the monsters will start to take over the world, and Sam and Dean will not be able to stem the tide. That's the big picture, and it's what Chuck eventually explains to Sam... but in the immediate reality of it, Sam can only focus on the fact that their allies will slowly die around them - Donna and the girls, leaving Jody bereft, Eileen, leaving Sam bereft... even Cas gets buried in the box because the Mark turned him dark-side. And that at the end of all of this, Sam wants to go out swinging, while Dean wants to give up. It ends with Sam and Dean becoming vampires, and Jody and Bobby coming along to take them out once and for all. That's the reality waiting at the end of the line, if Chuck is defeated.

I hate to talk more about Destiel (haha no I don't), but I just have to point out that Dean identifies the moment when he lost all hope as the moment when he had to bury Cas. That's true love, baby! And Sam's increasingly frantic energy was really tough to watch, especially when we know that in this imagined future, Sam and Eileen formed a real relationship, and then he lost her. We start off this whole future by seeing Sam, Eileen, Dean, and Cas all apparently living together in the bunker, researching for cases, having movie nights... and then Jody calls to tell them that Claire is dead, and that's what starts the nightmare spiral.

And it gets worse than that - if Chuck is defeated, this is the apparent outcome. If Chuck isn't defeated, we go back to the whole "Cain and Abel" thing, where Sam and Dean are destined to kill each other. Chuck informs Dean, after Dean and Cas show up to save the day, that these weren't Chuck's planned endings. They were other versions of Sam and Dean, other ways that their story ended over the many different versions of Earth that Chuck has created.

Well, that's grim. I really enjoyed tracking the idea of "hope" as it's presented in this episode. Sam refuses to let Chuck get to him for a really long time, but one of the reasons that he loses hope, ultimately, and doesn't trap Chuck, is because he sees this future where Dean loses hope. Where instead of going out like Butch and Sundance, you have Sam basically forcing Dean to continue hunting, by threatening to go into reckless fights by himself. Of course Dean would never let Sam do that, even though he's lost his heart for hunting because his husband is gone. But then in our current reality, we see that Sam has lost hope, but Dean has not. Even as Chuck says that the dark ending is inevitable, Dean says no. Not this Sam. Not this Dean.

It's so fascinating, because it was Dean earlier this season who said that he couldn't even tell what was real anymore, but now, with his relationship with Cas newly repaired, he seems to have hit his second wind. He'll hold the torch of optimism while Sam cannot.

Eileen and Sam finally kissed, and of course they had to make it bittersweet! She needs some time away, she can't stay when she's so uncertain about what's real anymore. Chuck has manipulated their relationship, bringing them back together in order to prove a point. And that sucks, and it feeds in to Sam and Dean's fears about their free will... but it doesn't mean that Eileen and Sam's feelings for each other aren't real. I have hopes that Eileen will grapple with that off screen, and come back to help kick some ass by the time the finale roles around. Also the kiss was really sweet and soft and I want Sam to be happy SO BAD.

One final note: Sam didn't crush the magic orb thingy that was supposed to trap Chuck, making Dean and Cas' harrowing trip to Purgatory pointless. I was worried that this would cause a rift between the brothers, but instead, when Sam says that he believes Chuck's vision of the future, and how bad things will get without him around, Dean just says: "that's good enough for me." I love the fact that they are on the same page, and that here going into the endgame, we can have a united front.

One final final note: It looks like Jack is making a return! Place your bets now - will Jack replace Chuck as God, restoring balance and allowing our heroes the chance to defeat our ultimate Big Bad? I gotta say, I don't hate that as an ending to the show!

9.5/10