#ellen!blog

[ajoytobeheld]

Ellen: it's been an awfully big adventure

December 7th, 2012

I don’t know how to start this, other then diving right in so….I’ll dive.

It is with a sad face I have to report that I am leaving Los Campesinos!. The show on the 15th of December in London will be my last, and I shall spend it struggling not to cry. Please don’t point out my tears if you come along. Simply pretend it is eye sweat.

Over the last seven years I have been blessed, not by God, because he doesn’t exist, but with opportunities and a life I will not fully appreciate until I am about forty-five. I will look back at old photos of the band, with our smooth skin and questionable hair, and go “fuck me. That was mental.”

The past and present members of Los Campesinos! have been my family for the last seven years and seen me at my lowest, my highest, my most angry, sad, happy, broken, fixed, grown up and immature. They have seen me fail, succeed, let myself and them down, learn the hard way, but they have also seen me grow. And they have always had my back, and I hope, I sincerely hope, I have done my best to have theirs.

There is not a terribly exciting reason for me leaving, (so please start some exciting rumours), I am just going to try something new. Fulfil my ambitions of becoming a failed writer and developing a opium habit. It’s all going to be very retro. I leave with the upmost love and support from the band, but I have requested my replacement not be too cool.

I would say I am sad to go, but that is too simple a word for the variety of emotions I have swimming around my head right now. I am sad, but mostly I am drowning in warm and happy flashbacks, vinaigrette images of us all laughing in the van on long drives across America. Joe Puleo, tour manager, at the front telling a story, Jason playing quizmaster and hosting a game of “Guess the Song,” from an app he has downloaded, and we all scream out responses. Rob taking photos of the scenery on his lomo, Neil watching gangster epics on his laptop, and maybe later on this long long drive Paul and Tom will play Tiger Woods Golf whilst I work out how long I can hold my bladder for before requesting we stop. I was the most frequenter pee needer on long drives. I am not ashamed of this. I owned it.

I felt warm and safe on those drives, listening to everyone tell stories, share experiences, make each other laugh. I am lucky to have shared a hotel room with so many exceptional ladies over the years, Aleks, Harriet and especially Kim, who shared my fear of the cold, love of porridge and put up with my ability to make a mess in any room in under 5 seconds. Starting and ending the day together, we did some good chatting.

I have seen a lot of this world, and I didn’t have to go on a gap year to do it. I have travelled across the breadth and depth of the US and the UK and I have seen a lot of different faces, and sampled a lot of backstage humus.I have seen a lot of graffitied backstage cocks.

I have met and worked with countless wonderful, interesting and horrifically talented people inside the industry, inside the venues, inside the recording studie and inside our practice space. (I won’t gush too much about how talented the people in the band are, you might get diabetes from my sincerity, but it has been a pleasure and a privilege to play the music that Tom writes.)

Also fans. Fans are awesome. You made it possible for us record an album in Seattle. To play a show outside of Wales. To play in a baseball stadium in Japan. A haunted restaurant in Santa Cruz. a handful of US universities and see Mexico! I saw Mexico! You girls and guys are truly humbling, and I hope I never took you for granted too much. I probably did. Thank you for knowing the words, for bringing cakes, and books, and t-shirts, and comics, and buying us drinks and for waiting and driving miles and cheering and clapping. For reading or watching or listening to anything we have ever done. Thanks. You kept us going and will continue to be the life blood of the Los Campesinos! family.

I was trawling through old photos trying to find the best one to represent a start and an ending, but I got lost in old memories and the process of ageing.

(God we looked young, look at our skin! Look at our clothes! Cardigans and ripped up Distillers t shirts, oh I still have that.)

I have eons of photos of the band at the start, at rehearsals, house parties, with experimental hair, (mine black, Gareth long and wispy, Neil’s fringe nearly covering his eyes and Tom always wearing his hat) and at our first shows. I remember when we first started, our summer of label romance where everyone wanted to take us out for a pub meal, and all we ever did was go out in Cardiff drinking and dancing. We said we would change our last names to Campesinos! if we ever played in the states, but we tempted fate, and we never changed out names but we did get to go to America a lot.

I sometimes wonder what alternative universe me would be doing if she didn’t go to that first rehearsal in Ollie’s bedroom. I think she is picking her nose right now in a bath of baked beans, bored and crazy because she spent all day in an office sitting next to a woman who told her about the time she slept with a navy seal. No one cares Brenda.

So 500 plus gigs, millions of air miles, gallons of backstage whisky and wine, a tonne of sweaty cheese and pita bread, a litre of tears shed on stage, hundreds of “don’t fuck up,” panics, hundreds of fuck ups, hundreds of “this is blowing my mind” moments whilst starring into a sea of unfamiliar and impassioned faces, break ups and ill advised hook ups later (don’t date musicians, like ever, we’re all mental,) I realise I have seen all the travel lodges, service stations, and states of America (apart from Alaska) and I have tasted more Marks and Spencer’s meals then I thought possible. I’ve been with some of the finest people I know doing a very unnatural thing, which is both the best and the worst experience and often at the same time, but never the same any given year. And we have done it fucking well. The best we can.

God I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help it, I was a middle child.

So some more self-indulgence.

I want to thank some people for being ace. John Goodmanson – a brilliant producer and a lesson in style and grace under pressure. Joe Puleo – the best tour manager, you never feel anything but safe in his company. Kelly Pickard – inspiration, mentor, wisest woman. Paul Rattcliff- The loyalist soundman whom gives so much. Kev and Alun and Mark Bowen, Wichita, Ben and Vicky, Gareth Dobson, anyone we have toured with or supported or who I have met along the way, everyone I forgot. I haven’t forgot, I am thinking about you.

My mum, because she told me I could be anything and do anything except get my tongue pierced. And I did that anyway, and she still wasn’t mad at me.

And the band.. Kim, Jason, Gareth, Tom, Neil and Rob who I will miss sharing experiences with that no one will understand, I love you guys. Like, loads. From our first Sweet Dreams, until our last, thanks.

Okay, too long, too emo. Bye bye.

Ellen x

[sincerelymarner]

credits: on the bus with cammi & aj / cbc / espn / please look after mom, kyung-sook shin

[poppletonink]

Best Quotes From 'Red, White and Royal Blue'

"David," Alex says. "He's a beagle. I remember because, like, who does that? Who names a dog David? He sounds like a tax attorney. Like a dog tax attorney."

"Christ, you're as thick as it gets," he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.

“I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.” (I know this one isn't technically in the latest version of the book, but it was there when I first read it and I miss it.)

"First you've been, like, Draco Malfoy-level obsessed with Henry for years"

"The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?"

"Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a cliff."

"Your hair in the mornings is truly a wonder to behold," is how he breaks the silence.

"I needed a run," he says. "To clear my head a bit, figure out... what's next. Very Mr. Darcy brooding at Pemberley."

Alex sighs. "I don't think I told you, but she, uh. Well, when she fired me, she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent sure about you, I needed to break things off." Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear, "A thousand percent?" "Yeah, don't let it go to your head."

"I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark," Alex tells him. "And also a statue."

"At cruising altitude, he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. They clink together gently as he ticks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side."

"So," she says. "Do you feel forever about him?" And there's no room left to agonize over it, nothing left to do but say the thing he's known all along. "Yeah," he says, "I do."

"He hates himself, but he doesn't regret anything, and maybe that makes him a bad person and a worse politician, but he doesn't regret Henry."

"Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend." "No, I'm not." "Zahra, you're my mean friend." "Am not."

"But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose."

"I've been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Phillip."

"It's a mural of himself and Henry, facing each other, haloed by a bright yellow sun, depicted as Han and Leia. Henry in all white, starlight in his hair. Alex dressed as a scruffy smuggler, a blaster at his hip. A royal and a rebel, arms around each other. He snaps a photo on his phone, and fingers shaking, types out a tweet: Never tell me the odds."

"When the car door opens, it's June, standing there in a bright yellow T-shirt that says: HISTORY, HUH? "You like it?" she says. "There's a guy selling them down the block. I got his card. Gonna put it in my next column for Vogue."

“So, what?” he asks. “You want me to quit politics and go become a princess? That’s not very feminist of you.” “That’s not how feminism works,” she says, rolling her eyes.

"I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us."

"History, huh? Bet we could make some."

[whimsisadie]

today was a nice day for pictures of Ellen's house

[annoyingvoidzombie]

The first time Henry truly slept as he should or smiled as often it's all and thanks to Alex, don't tell me he's not in love and when Alex is returning the love it's a best thing that happened to him since he remembers cause he completely loses himself with Alex 🥹❤️

[ajoytobeheld]

Wolf like me (you think of a better title)

July 14th, 2009

Unless you have been living under a proverbial rock you will be aware that SFX released a vampire special this month and although it is a tad pricey, it’s worth getting your mits on for the Buffy mouse pads and very long and detailed interview with James Marsters. James a.k.a Spike was voted the number one vampire by the good readers of the magazine, which is a fair assesment. The top ten seemed pretty spot on if it wasn’t for Selena from Underworld being in there, but the commentry on her was “I SO WOULD PHWWWOAR” rather then a intricate reflection of her fanged antics… at least Robert Pattison’s placing in the top 50 had the pull out quote “When you read the book it’s like “Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself”"

In honour of this I have made a Top Ten Six Werewolf list

6. Professor Lupin: Isn’t it weird that his last name is a deviation of the latin word for wolf like AND he is a wolf?! It’s like those people whose last names are Pratt and they are pratts! Oh Miss Rowling, your subtlety never fails to amaze me…

5. The cast of Dog Soldiers: This British horror film is a favorite of myself and Ollie’s, and the name summarizes the film better then I ever could… It’s mindless, stupid, entertaining, and better then Severance so bonus.

4. Joanie in Cursed: This film directed by Wes Craven is a thinly veiled lesson in safe sex, with the werewolfness being spread by Joshua Jackson’s unprotected penis. Myself and Alek saw it in the cinema and felt the line uttered by the character Joanie “I guess there is no such thing as safesex with a werewolf” was wonderful. Plus it’s the only film I have seen with a werewolf giving Christina Ricci the middle finger.

3. Michael Sheen in the Underworld trilogy: Technically he is only in one and two, but because he can act proper and that he manages to make the films half decent. Plus this film is about the forbidden love between a vampire and a werewolf which we have all pondered over and contains a particularly impressive sex scene over the edge of a cliff.

2. OZ! When I was younger I really liked Seth Green and all I wanted in my life was a small ginger boy with black nail varnish who played guitar to sweep me off my feet, I was what you might call “emo” and “living in a fantasy world of my own creation.” Anyway, due to this affliction I was rather invested in his and Willow’s love.

I was impressed with how they dealt with him being a wolf and Willows little fling with Xander and I cried my little heart out when that EVIL SLUT Veruca teased him away with her werelady charms.

1. Brigette and Ginger in Ginger Snaps: This film is about two nerdy death obsessed sisters and is a thinly veiled (aren’t they all!) metaphor for going through fun puberty, where one of them literally gets “The Curse” but thinks it is just her hormones or a really bad period rather then because a werewolf bit her. It’s a good twist on the werewolf genre, and is maybe like Heathers but with Wereladies.

(Oh and the second one is set in Pagan times, and isn’t very good.)

p.s I went to see the first ever screening of the new Harry Potter film last friday in London and Simon Mayo was there, but sadly no Mark Kemode. However, I will give a little review of it after the premiere on Tuesday as well as covering myself with the free Harry Potter transfer tattoos I got.

Ellen x

[rockingtheorange]

The ptsd I get when it shifts from soft talks and a quiet fly home to Ellen scolding Alex... It always hits me so fk hard😭 like what in the jumpscare is this? Miguel isn't worth my heart skipping a beat every fucking time 😭😭😭

[thesecretdiaryofa90sgirl]

Victoria Beckham photographed by Ellen von Unwerth for US Glamour March 2010 ✨

[bookaddict24-7]

NEW YOUNG ADULT RELEASES! (FEBRUARY 20TH, 2024)

___

HAVE I MISSED ANY NEW YOUNG ADULT RELEASES? HAVE YOU ADDED ANY OF THESE BOOKS TO YOUR TBR? LET ME KNOW!

___

NEW STANDALONES/FIRST IN A SERIES:

Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli

A Tempest of Tea by Hafsah Faizal

The Diablo's Curse by Gabe Cole Novoa

The Bad Ones by Melissa Albert

Conditions of A Heart by Bethany Mangle

We Got the Beat by Jenna Miller

The Someday Daughter by Ellen O'Clover

My Throat An Open Grave by Tori Bovalino

NEW SEQUELS:

For the Stolen Fates (In the City of Time #2) by Gwendolyn Clare

Disciples of Chaos (Seven Faceless Saints #2) by M.K. Lobb

___

Happy reading!

[alwayssacred2]

my new blogs

• @alwayssacr3d

• @my-photo-journal-x

• @alwayssacred

Follow them! I will only reblog their posts now on this account. If you follow me on here, @oldwebrulez, @lovecoreheartcore, @rainbowsandnostalgia, or @alwayssacred2 follow the bulleted blogs & reblog this please!!!! <333333

Signed,

LUCY ELLEN

[godzilla-reads]

☀️ Morning Reading in Progress ☀️

[can-they-do-a-rko]

Ellen Ripley from the Alien movies

Can Ellen Ripley perform a…

[ask-mycrazyroommates]

ask by @ask-gadzooks

featured @anideterm3 @asktwilighteclipse @asklightningshadowbolt

my other blogs @ask-night-and-day-club @ask-myth-melody-ponys @ask-starlight-gamers-club @ask-luciavampire