#ellie's song analysis

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

An analysis of David Kushner’s “Daylight” music video:

Under a cut for being long, detailed, and self-indulgent:

The video starts with David chopping up wood, which brings to mind the idea of displacing anger at himself.

He sets the chopped wood back onto the tree stump. This could probably already be showing us that he wants to undo some kind of damage that he knows he cannot.

He is then seen walking into a church with a young boy, evoking imagery of a father bringing his son, perhaps.

He starts to sing and taps his chest with an open hand. Could this be a reference to the hand movements Catholics make during the Penitential Act at “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”? A bit of a stretch considering that movement is closed-handed, but considering the lyrical themes, not that far off.

We see the boy’s face, and it’s partially blurred out.

He looks up at David with something like disappointment. This could be a son disappointed in his father’s misdeeds (which I personally believe the lyrics to read as a sexual one, but it can be anything). More likely, however, it’s his younger self disappointed in the person he’s become; the lyrics don’t indicate that anyone other than the speaker, the person he’s wronged, and God know what he’s done.

The other members of the congregation have blurred faces as well.

We don’t know who these people are, but the one we get a closeup of is an old man, who seems disapproving or judgmental. This might have been the point of the blurring--it doesn’t matter if these people are loved ones or strangers; there’s a terror that they might know your wrongdoings and see you differently.

David pulls out a dagger as the camera moves up from his torso. There seems to be a focus on his neck, evoking perhaps the idea of him causing his own violent death. Nothing like that happens, but considering the song’s themes of the self-destructive sin nature, it’s not that much of a stretch. It could also reference the idea of dying to self and becoming a living sacrifice, where his consideration of dying violently misses the point--Rick Warren says that as living sacrifices, we have the tendency to “crawl off the altar.”

A large, dark shape appears during the prechorus before the line “There’s darkness in the distance” plays.

David’s expression is unclear; it looks ambivalent, worried, or even a bit frustrated.

He finally reaches out to this darkness.

The scene changes to the church again, which is darkened and empty. He’s in what appears to be specifically one of the back pews and adopts a stereotypical pose associated with prayer while crying out. 

Back to the forest, where his axe is notably lodged in the tree stump. Perhaps his destruction is lodged within him in a similar manner, doing harm that he wishes to undo but knows he cannot? I could be reading too much into it, but whatever.

We’re at the church again, and now he sits at the altar with a more downcast, resigned expression. Perhaps the juxtaposition of pew/altar and stereotypical prayer/stereotypical resignation is saying he cries out for God when he feels farther from Him, but doesn’t know how to handle being closer because he then becomes more aware of how wrong his sin is. What’s also interesting is that there is light coming into the church in the wideshot of David at the altar, and it even seems to hit just outside where the altar is, but it doesn’t reach him and he’s not coming towards it either. God and His light are so close, but the speaker can neither come to terms with that nor confront his sin.

Again with the hands on chest thing, with a more intense movement this time. Perhaps if this is a reference to the Catholic Penitential Rite, then the reason his hands are open is because he doesn’t feel or doesn’t want to feel the weight of his sin at full force.

The second verse begins, and two men are seen dragging David into some secluded room--something like a torture chamber.

They become more visible and drop him. Interestingly, their postures at this screenshot suggest storming out during an altercation, even though in context, they’re supposed to be more cruel and cold and harsh due to separation and indifference. Perhaps it’s both--perhaps they’re meant to represent warring self-states that hate him personally sometimes and feel disconnected from him at other times. They can feel both ways at once, too; people can be complicated like that.

Back at the church, he’s in the back pew. There’s less of a crying out than in the chorus, but it’s still written on his expression. Some light goes past him and even onto him, but he is mostly in the shadows. He might be almost hoping for forgiveness and salvation but denying himself that hope out of fear that it isn’t true for him.

People with blurred faces start beating him up and throwing some spiky ball-like objects at him. As with the similarly blurred-out congregation, we don’t know who these people are or whether or not they’re close to him. Are they even real people or are they representations of other states of self? We just know that they’re causing him harm and distress. Perhaps the spiky ball-like objects are meant to be similar to morning star weapons, which look like that but are attached to the ends of chains and sticks. Wikipedia says he’s being stoned, which also makes sense.

The person who gets the most focus is noticeably wearing a cross necklace. This could be what David imagines to be God’s judgment, judgment by a religious hypocrite, or his own judgment.

There’s a shot of what seems to be David outside when it’s raining...

but it’s revealed that the rain is inside his own home. He’s drowning in shame and, as his poorly-postured position on the couch (a stereotypical way of showing indolence or indifference) suggests, his unwillingness to act on it exacerbates the problem. What’s interesting is that, like in the shots from church in the chorus, he has a lamp on and the light even reaches him. Here, God is there, waiting for him in his own home, but he does not accept.

We return to David, now with noticeably bleeding hands, in the torture chamber. It’s likely that he’s been fighting the others, as his knuckles are the injured part. However, it also seems to bring to mind the image of punching a wall (or in this case, more likely the floor) in frustration or to cause oneself pain. This might be a stretch, but to me, it also calls back to the opening with him chopping the wood as a displacement of anger. In that case, he thinks of his hands as instruments of only destruction and might be punishing himself for it. This isn’t as likely as the other interpretations because the torture chamber scene depicts him as the victim, but then again, he’s also a victim of his own behavior and the other people might be other self-states, so it’s still plausible.

The shot continues to show us that he has a cross tattooed on his hand, which was visible in the previous one but less clear. This can have plenty of different interpretations depending on which of the above contexts we’re going with. If he’s been fighting the others and they’re “[persecuting him] for righteousness’ sake” or for trying to become better, maybe having the cross with him strengthens him. It could also remind him of his failure to overcome them, though, which seems a bit more likely because this song does not have a triumphant arc. If he’s caused his own hand to get hurt, then having the cross there reminds him that his self-destruction is harming his relationship with God. If he thinks of his hands as only destructive, perhaps the cross reminds him that he has the potential to be better and use them for good--perhaps the cross is even being used as a force to destroy his sin. It might also be destructive to him in a different way if he thinks, as Martin Luther once put it, of Christ as “the jailer and hangman of [his] poor soul.” However it goes, there’s clearly some significance to showing it to the audience.

He gets up somewhat and the others prepare to fight him again.

In what appears to be a home library, a burning man reaches out to David. The part of focus is the burning man, who would realistically be in pain from the burning, but we don’t know what his expression is. His reaching seems pretty calm and restrained, though, almost beckoning. The burning man seems to represent the speaker’s sin itself, and his seeming lack of pain might indicate a seared conscience or a pretense of indifference (the speaker’s sin affects his soul greatly and fills him with fear; perhaps he pretends he doesn’t care when he’s about to do it). A point of interest aside from the burning man is the setting: why specifically a home library? To me, it evokes imagery of a learned man sitting in his study, someone like a theologian or philosopher. Maybe the speaker theoretically knows everything in these books, or at least a good amount of what’s in them, but yet, he cannot apply what he’s read to help himself.

David has a conflicted expression when considering whether he should take the burning man’s hand, similarly to how he approached the darkness in the first prechorus.

He sings the chorus while sitting on the church altar again in the same resigned position. There’s a bit more light than the first chorus had, and it extends across the altar now, but it’s not reaching him. God continues to extend mercy that the speaker won’t take.

He finally takes the burning man’s hand, and he is set on fire himself, symbolizing his choice to sin again. The library is also ablaze, which brings to mind imagery relating to hell. Going back to the symbolism of a library, he may have read the books and known what they said, but his inability to apply that has made him forget his knowledge--this is similar to C.S. Lewis saying “The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel.”

We go back to David in the torture chamber, and his forehead is bleeding now. This might be a reference to Jesus’ crown of thorns, in which case, David links their suffering in the battle against sin.

He is seen striking at his chest with a closed hand, which now confirms the reference to the Penitential Rite and uses the proper hand shape--considering his open hand before might have suggested an unwillingness or inability to feel his sin at full force, the closed hand now feels it completely. 

David’s mouth has also been injured in the shot where his forehead was hurt, but it’s not that visible without looking closely, so here’s a closer shot. I’m not entirely sure what it means that his mouth specifically was injured, but my guess is that Jesus is often described as the Word and the Holy Spirit as a breath or wind, with the Father being, of course, the one who speaks. Spoken word and breath are literally inseparable, but a mouth injury might impair David’s capacity to speak. Perhaps this might mean that David does not feel God is within him; he cannot understand the speaker if he has neither breath nor words to speak. As a tangent, it’s often a symptom of anxiety to feel short of breath, and our narrator is definitely anxious over the state of his soul. He might also feel out of breath from fighting.

One of the last shots has him in the back church pew with some light reaching him. Considering that this is the back pew and not the altar, this demonstrates his feelings of distance from God. David is no longer crying out as he was when we last saw him in the pew. While this could be read as a seared conscience, it’s not the best reading because the closed hand as opposed to an open one about two shots ago shows him understanding and feeling his sin at full force. It’s more likely that he’s not crying out because he’s expended his energy on this battle. Interestingly, the light is actually touching him now, which might suggest that he’s on the brink of readiness to accept grace. Sure, the final shot shows him in the torture chamber (I’ve already shown it to you, so I see no point in putting it here again), but he could be at the bottom and realizing that he only has one option if he wants to survive.

Well, that’s it, I hope someone reads and likes this because I should have been working on a Spanish project in the time it took me to make this but this hit my massive Enneagram 1 self too much to not do this LOL.

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

i had all and then most of you…

some and now none of you…

take me back to the night we met…

i don’t know what i’m supposed to do…

haunted by the ghost of you…

take me back to the night we met…

The Night We Met ~ Lord Huron

[everythingisconfetti]

what is the best love song ever written and why is it Fair by The Amazing Devil?

[tadbitsketch]

I haven't done one of these in forever but welcome back to Sketch Rambles About MCSM Stuff at an Unreasonable Hour of the Night 🎉🎉🎉

Tonight, I'm gonna discuss one of my favorite songs from the Minecraft: Story Mode OST, "Redstone Baby," and the potential lore that it holds. And why that's very Sorengaard related.

Disclaimer: this is me interpreting silly block people. Unless otherwise stated (or in the game), it ain't actually canon. Also, I am a teenage girl. I am not versed very well in the specifics of how music theory works and how it's used in media. Also also, I wrote most of this like two months ago and completely forgot about it.

(In case you needed a reminder of how it sounds)

This song appears twice in the season 1 episode 3: when you arrive in Soren's lab area, and again in the end credits. It can also be heard through the closed secret entrance wall in the Wool World™, and it gradually becomes clearer as you approach the door to Soren's lab, where a music disc is playing the song inside.

The instrumentation of "Redstone Baby" consists of guitar, piano, and violin. It feels comforting and cozy, whilst also giving a sad, longing sort of vibe. According to a comment written 6 years ago by Antimo on the linked video, they were going for a sorta "Fallout: New Vegas" vibe when they wrote it. The song holds an air of nostalgia, of better times. An idealized dream of how the world could be.

To get to the point: it's cute, it's cozy, and it's a love song in a game where they weren't allowed to explicitly write any canon ships (if I'm remembering correctly). Also one of the few songs in this game to be given lyrics. So, of course, we're gonna talk about this. Or rather I'm gonna write about it and you're gonna read it.

The lyrics go as follows:

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

You're the bed to my rock,

The flint to my steel.

My redstone baby doll...

My redstone baby doll.

(music)

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

In a marshmallow world, you're my sweetheart.

My sugar baby...

aaaah ladada, awoah...

The lyrics are pretty strange, right? It seems nonsensical at first, but I (and many others) believe that it has more meaning than meets the eye.

This is a love song addressed to a someone proficient with redstone. Funnily enough, Soren's old friend group did have one of those. A brilliant Redstone Engineer: Ellegaard. And quite interestingly, these two were pretty close, as is said multiple times in canon. I think Magnus mentions their little "Nerd Club," in episode 3 at some point. Another fact to back me up on this: Soren calls the song "Symphony in E" in-game on the little radio-disk-program-thing.

And for whatever reason, Soren and Ellegaard didn't stay close or end up together. There's not really a way to know for certain what went down between them. All we do know is that Soren wishes it was different.

The "marshmallow world" that is talked about in the song is Soren's perfect world. It's safe, sweet, and fluffy. I am of the opinion that it could possibly be an indirect reference to the wool world that Soren built. It's bright. It's safe. No monsters can get him there. He can just build things and be happy. In a perfect, marshmallow world, Ellegaard is with Soren.

The metaphors Soren uses here, "the bed to my rock, the flint to my steel," they're both iconic, inseparable duos: bedrock, and flint and steel. In Minecraft, bedrock is the unbreakable foundation beneath all else in the Overworld. Flint and steel is used to set things on fire, and is most often used to light Nether portals, which is way less symbolic (unless someone can find something? maybe the whole flaming heart being a metaphor for love thing?) but still iconic and the phrase has a very nice rhythm to it.

When we first hear the song, it feels like normal wishful thinking. It's more just fluff and poetry than full-on wants and desires.

But when we hear it in the end credits of episode 3... We just saw someone die after sacrificing their safety for Jesse's. The monster that they died to help kill isn't even dead. Someone we thought was dead is actually alive and doesn't remember anything. It's loud, dark, and burning. A sickening storm of death and destruction. Anything but the marshmallow world.

Without considering which of the two died, this song is already quite jarring in comparison to what was just witnessed. This "marshmallow world" that seemed somewhat close just a moment ago now feels implausible, and thus it'd be worth so much more if it were real.

I will never not love when something in a piece of media is treated as a good sign or motif or something and then it gets recontextualized and hurts ya right in the feels.

And with Redstone Baby combined with Ellegaard dying, it's just that extra brutal.

Because now it's not just, "in a perfect world, we'd be together." It's "in a perfect world, you wouldn't be dead, and we'd be together."

If only Soren wasn't so much of a coward. How differently things could've gone.

[creativestalkerrs]

american psycho: in the lens of a queer woman and the relevancy today

I posted this on my Substack blog as well, subscribe to that for more content. Apart of creativestalkerr’s book reviews.

TW: talks of violence, homophobia, racism, mental health issue, sexism, SA,  (all is to a less extreme then in the book), slight spoilers to American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. 

what american psycho means in my own world view and why i think it’s relevant today: a book review.

At face value, American Psycho, written by Bret Easton Ellis, and eventually adapted into a film, directed by Mary Harron and starring a young Christian Bale, might just appear to be a serial killer slasher with barely any meaning to it, however, there is much more to go into than just that. It’s a satire on the materialistic lifestyles of the upper class and a commentary on a capitalistic society. Ideas of homophobia, misogyny (including violence against women), racism, and these types of men being awful. The conversation about both the book and the movie have been mostly of men (from what I have seen) and I wanted to give my thoughts on the story through the lens of a queer woman and how it has more impact in today's society than we might see.

American Psycho is from the perspective of a charismatic investment banker, Patrick Bateman who lives a life of wealth in Manhattan. Every day is the same for our character, watches the same television programs, goes to work, listens to his music, kills a few people, goes to lunch with the same group of people, and gets drinks at a new restaurant. The same thing, over and over again. And yes, I said killing people is in this routine, often women. Ellis paints a picture of someone who is stuck in the same routine, that no matter how handsome or wealthy you are, it often feels the same, that murder, or for Batemen at least, is the only thing that makes him feel anything, that he’ll somehow have an impact in this world for the crimes he commits, to have someone, anyone truly cares.

In the video essay created by the content creator, Moon and his video titled “American Psycho: A Warning For Men”, although it focuses on the movie but still holds true with the novel, he states that an important reason why American Psycho taps in the mind of men all around the world is that with today’s world where conveniences and pleasures are at your fingertips, men often feel bored and numb as even the things that brought them happiness no longer satisfy them. This remains true in the story as we see Patrick Bateman, who is wealthy and has modern-day pleasures, become bored and numb to these parts that the only thing to satisfy him is bloodlust. More men in today’s society deal with mental health issues, especially depression and there is no doubt about it that Patrick Bateman is a visual representation of what most men might feel because, in the conversation of mental health, men can often be ignored.

Moon goes on and states how due to this factor, men feel like they lack purpose. I found this interesting in the realm of American Psycho as Patrick Bateman has expressed how he ‘wants to fit in’ and how much people mistake him for others, that he doesn’t have a purpose, and by the crimes he has committed, whether he did them or not, it’s a cry for help but it’s mostly a cry for someone to fucking care about who he is, that someone takes notice of him.

Thus the character of, Detective Donald Kimball. The character and his connection with Bateman I found to be important. He is one of the first people to take an interest in Patrick and his potential crimes and we can see in his monolog on how Patrick feels about this, that he is willing to help Kimball with the disappearance of Paul Owen (Paul Allen in the 2000’s adaption). Despite him being cool and calm, Kimball does notice him to be nervous and Batemen states that “the air seems fake, recycled,” (page 271) This particular chapter shows how Kimball takes interest in him and because of that, we see the mask that Bateman has put on to crack.

How does this connect to the lens of a queer woman and why does it matter now? I already touched on why it’s relevant today, on how the mental health of men has increased, and how Patrick Bateman is a visual representation of how all these men might feel, despite them ignoring the commentary and the satire that Ellis has stated, they believe that the story of American Psycho is for them. It’s not. In fact, I could argue that it’s for no one but as a reference point of how men can and have been, how mental health and lack of purpose is the true enemy in all this. Not women, not LGBT people, not minorities but their own self. Within a capitalistic society, as more people have more convince in the palm of their hand, the more the mask slip.

As a queer woman, I see the treatment of both women and gay people in the novel, using slurs in casual conversation and degrading women and stripping them down to only objects. Viewing WLW relationships as a sexual fantasy solely for men's enjoyment and we see the violence of these women at the end. Now although this was set in the late 1980s, it still holds up today as the sexualization of lesbians and bi women is still an issue we see today, as a threat to women and overall LGBTQ people. This type of language in the book is a byproduct of Bateman’s colleagues and surroundings, what he talks about, and what he views, due to the fact there are no personal connections between him and the people around him, including the relationships that are supposed to be personal. The only way to connect with these people is to “fit in”.

Now, although we see in the book and even in the movie of Patrick talking about social justice, these are just words he says, as he’ll continuously use slurs, treat people, mostly homeless people like shit, sexually assault women, and of course, kill people, you often wonder why he says the things he does about social justice. Is it an act? If so is it for himself or the people around him? Especially when another scene with the same people he turns a hand and talks about how women are just to have sex with, that they don’t have personalities. It makes me, personally, question why Bateman does this.

Although I could go into every small detail and relate it back to today’s society, I won’t, as I believe that American Psycho can be such a universal story that anyone can have their own ideas on and I encourage people to read the novel and dissect their own ideas on it, how they see Ellis’ writing in their own lens. We can all agree, however, that capitalism can lead to the destruction of the mind and even a generation of not only men but the groups that are often targeted by Bateman’s crimes. That no matter how much you make, you will often feel purposeless and unnoticed in today’s society especially now that everything is becoming more and more instant.

The last thing I want to say is; don’t idolize Patrick Bateman.

A word from the author: Sorry I’ve been gone, new writing lessons and other writing content in the New Year. I have been reading a lot more and want to do mini essays like this. Hope you enjoy and I hope you have an awesome 2023!

[booksandpaperss]

With all the playlistgate stuff going on, I decided to do a re-listen to Mike’s basement beats and BRO

WE DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT HOW THIS SONG IS ON MIKE’S PLAYLIST.

I know there are sooo many posts about songs that are byler or Mike or Will coded, but I implore you to stay with me on this one, it’s worth it—

For reference, here are the very starting lyrics:

My love and I, we work well together

But we’re often apart

Absence makes the heart lose wager

Til love breaks down, love breaks down

Now what couple in the show does that sound like? Hmmmm hint it’s mileven

And then right after that set of lyrics we have:

Oh my, oh my, have you seen the weather?

The sweet September rain

Rain on me like no other

Until I drown, Until I drown

Rain? RAIN??? Man, I *wonder* what moment this could be referencing…

Oh but the chorus is *by far* the best part:

When love breaks down

The things you do

To stop the truth from hurting you

When love breaks down

The lies we tell,

They only serve to fool ourselves

Every single analysis on s3 and 4 Mike summarized in only 6 lines of song lyrics.

And for me, a very specific s4 scene comes to mind:

Like were these lyrics not near exactly what this conversation was about??

“Sometimes.. it’s hard to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Because… what if they don’t like the truth?”

“When love breaks down, the things you do, to stop the truth from hurting you”

Same line, different words. Which, if we’re really analyzing these song lyrics here, would lead me to believe that the junkyard scene was about more than just one or even two secrets. This song lyric doubles as being about lying to someone you care about to stop the truth from hurting them, AND being about lying to yourself to avoid the truth that is already hurting you.

Ergo, it’s safe to assume that the same goes for the byler conversation in the junkyard. There’s already visual cinimatic proof that we’re meant to understand that conversation was about more than one thing: it’s clearly Will talking about his feelings for Mike, but Mike nods, he agrees with Will’s sentiment. The scene is already meant to be more than what we see at face value, I see no reason it cannot be even more multi-faceted. It is;

1). About Will hiding his feelings for Mike,

2). About Mike hiding his truth from El, and

3). About Mike finally *concluding* his denial arc of his own feelings for Will (per the song).

Again, this set of lyrics can honestly apply to the whole of Mike’s s4 arc and even parts of his s3 arc, it’s just that the junkyard scene in particular really feels like a direct reference to the chorus.

And deep dive analysis of lyrics aside, it is undeniable that this song is meant to be about lying to yourself, in whatever capacity you decide to take it. Just even more confirmation of how absolutely right we are that Mike has been lying to himself, otherwise why would this even be on his playlist??

Anyways stream Mike’s Basement Beats bc there is so much good stuff on there and I will forever stan it 😎😌

Tagging my fellow Mike’s Basement Beats Stan @yuriberryva and my #1 bestie @significant-ace-nnoyance bc Ik u guys will probably wanna see this 👀

[psicheanima]

i got intrigued by the fact that you did a senior paper on the witches from madoka - can you please tell us some more about that? i love when academic work ties to personal interests.

I can do you one better. You can just read it. Screenshots as it’s from a website. This is the actual final. I can’t include my analysis portion in an image because there’s a ten image limit on mobile. So it’s under the cut. And please be gentle, because I wrote this when I was 18.

Icebox Cake

Icebox Cake is the alternate name for the pastry Charlotte. This is of course a reference to the witch Charlotte, who the poem is about. This story is a direct adaptation of Charlotte’s canon backstory as revealed in the Magia Record Game. Charlotte is the only witch in this collection with a concrete backstory, and the only one who we know the real name of — Nagisa Momoe.

Nivelles Charaxinae

Nivelles Charaxinae is a reference to both this witch’s namesake and her design. The witch this story is about is Gertrud, named after the saint of gardens, Gertrud of Nivelles. Charaxinae is a reference to the type of butterfly that is in Gertrud’s witch form. The names of her roses in her diary entries are names of saints. I wanted to give her roses human names to show they are the true ‘humans’ to her, but also maintain a degree of disconnect. I think like Gertrud’s namesake, saints are the least human human you can be.

In case your words are all that’s left of me…

In case your words are all that’s left of me… is the only poem with a completely made up title. Though I want the ending of what happened to HN Elly, the witch of this story, to be up to reader interpretation, her feelings of having no real presence besides her online one was something I wanted to make very clear, so that’s why I chose this title.

The usernames are all references to songs sung by Marguerite in Faust. Faust is a work with immense impact on Madoka, having numerous references both visually and story wise. Most notably, quotes from it are littered in every witch labyrinth. Keeping with the theme of this poem being the odd one out name wise, HN Elly actually has another name— Kirsten. This is after Dorothy Kirsten, who famously portrayed Marguerite, which is why I paid tribute to her role.

POESIE SCHMECKT GUT

I based most of my references off the real life women the witches are named after. It shows most in POESIE SCHMECKT GUT. The namesake of this story’s witch, Elsa Maria, is Elsa Asenijeff. POESIE SCHMECKT GUT was a publishing firm for one of Elsa’s books. The base storyline is based off of Elsa’s unhappy arranged marriage, and the religious and star theme was already there in Elsa Maria’s labyrinth.

Guernica

This poem is all about visual art from the point of view of a girl who doesn’t really understand it, so I was a perfect person to write this. All the references were surface level, sort of awkwardly shoved in ones to famous pieces and artists. The title is reference to one of Piccaso’s most famous pieces, an extremely meaningful and striking abstract about war. For this witch, who is named Izabel, who does nothing but copy others, I couldn’t think of anything better to name her story, because I knew she herself could never find value in Guernica.

It’s raining again today. How long will I continue to be unlucky for?

There’s not a lot to say about this one, but I think the witch that it’s about, Patricia, would like that. The story is pretty self explanatory, but it’s one of my favorites because of that. The title is reference to a line in her labyrinth.

2 parts Absinthe 1 part Brandy 1/2 part Gin 3 parts Vodka 1 part Crème de Mûres

This witch, Roberta, is pretty special. First off, she’s an adult witch, the only in the series. She’s said to be fond of alcohol, which I tried to portray in the lack of grammar and punctuation, like you’re listening to the incoherent thought stream of the intoxicated. The title is the ingredients to her namesake, the Aunt Roberta cocktail, which is the strongest drink in the world.

Source Title: Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Source Creators: Atsuhiro Shinbo & Gen Urobuchi & Shaft Productions

Year Published/Produced: 2011

Setting: The series mainly takes place in the fictional city of Mikakihara Japan, 2011. The rest of the series takes places in the otherworldly “Labyrinths”, dark mental landscapes based on the inner feelings of the witch they belong to.

Plot Summary: The series follows a middle school girl named Madoka Kaname, who is approached by a creature named Kyuubey to grant her any wish in exchange for becoming a “magical girl” and fighting against witches— supernatural creatures that kill humans. Eventually, it is revealed witches are fallen magical girls who fall into despair and that Kyuubey purposefully creates this magical girl to witch cycle to feed off their sadness, as his species uses said emotion like energy to fight otherworldly creatures far away, to prevent the destruction of the universe.

In the end, Madoka becomes a magical girl to wish for all magical girls to get happy endings— which erases witches from existence, including herself, as all Magical Girls eventually become witches. This creates a paradox through which no one remembers her anymore, except one person, the girl who had wished for her not to live a normal life more than anyone.

Key Character Descriptions

Charlotte— The witch of sweets, it is her nature to be tenacious. Charlotte used to be a ten year old girl named Momoe, who became a witch after falling in despair at the death of her mother.

H.N. Elly— The box witch, it is her nature to be covetous. Her labrynth and cards all imply that she was an internet addicted shut-in turned internet-famous idol, who cracked under the pressure of constant performance.

Elsa Maria— The shadow witch, it is her nature to be self-righteous. Due to her religious imagery, many theorize she was driven to despair after finding out the witches she slayed as a magical girl used to be fellow humans. However, I based my story on her on the life of her namesake, Elsa Asenijeff.

Gertrud— The rose garden witch, it is her nature to be distrustful. Nothing is known about her backstory, so I constructed my adaptation for her based on the info we do know about her, such as the fact that “she holds roses dearer than anything else” and that, “she loathes the thought of humans trampling her labyrinth”.

Patricia— The class representative witch, it is her nature to be an onlooker. It has been said she used to be a normal, serious girl who was overlooked by her classmates. In the show, her wish is for her school life routine to go on forever, which is what I based my adaptation for her on.

Izabel— The artist witch, it is her nature to be vain. In her prior life, she was an artist suffering from a creative block who yearned for others to notice her. It is said that every art piece she produced was something “that you have probably seen somewhere before”.

Roberta— The birdcage witch, it is her nature to rage. Before she became a witch, she was a party girl living a life of surface level relationships, specifically with men, but secretly, she was disgusted by all of them. Her wish was for friends who wouldn’t dislike her.

Cultural Themes

The fear of being alone is a major theme in Madoka Magica, as depicted through the struggles of various characters. Sayaka Miki's desire to win the affections of her crush, Kyousuke, despite his lack of care for her efforts, highlights her fear of being unloved. She becomes obsessed with trying to gain his love, ultimately leading to her downfall.

In a more subtle way, Mami Tomoe's yearning for companionship also highlights the theme of fear of being alone. Despite her cheerful and big sister-like front, Mami is revealed to be deeply lonely and craves companionship. She reaches out to other magical girls in an attempt to alleviate her loneliness, but her efforts are paid in dust.

And of course, the biggest example of this is Homura Akemi's refusal to let Madoka die. Homura goes to great lengths to protect Madoka, trapping herself in a time loop to prevent Madoka from becoming a victim of the magical girl system. Her actions are driven by her fear of losing Madoka and being left alone in a world without her, to the point where she would even let the universe itself be destroyed to save her love.

Through these characters, the series explores the visceral human need for connection, and the disastrous consequences that arise from the lengths we will go to to obtain it.

The central message I want to explore in my adaptation is the prior lives of monsters. Through these stories of monsters before they "became" monsters, I want to delve into the idea of how the creatures of Madoka Magica, framed as so inhumane the literal art style changes for them, used to lead extremely human, flawed lives before the show portrayed them. Using a simple, fairytale-like style of writing and multiple types of writing, like receipts, reviews, and diary entries, I want to portray the mundaneness of their lives, and just how involved in the world they were. That they were real little girls, with real lives that impacted the things around them.

Motifs

The most common motif in Madoka Magica is fairytale motifs, specifically Eastern European fairytales. Witches, little girls tempted by strange creatures, candy houses. One character, Sayaka Miki, even has her entire story based on the little mermaid. She loves a boy, he doesn’t love her, she sacrifices everything for him anyways and then turns into a huge, mermaid monster. I aim to invoke this through my style of writing, taking a simple yet whimsical approach.

Why Madoka?

I like almost everything about this anime. The characters, the love they have for one another, the Czech fairytale-like art style, and that despite the dark themes, the story never supports falling into the darkness yourself. One thing I dislike is that the short 12 episode length, while making the series very “complete” also serves to stunt the potential of a majority of the characters. As the series relies on the connections these characters have, it would have benefited very extremely from a longer run-time to show us the chemistry between the girls and their loved ones, as the lack of screen time can make these deep bonds seem rushed and superficial. I want to try to convey the importance of those deep bonds in my work, but like I said, it’s a matter of time, not passion, so my adaptation can’t fix this issue.

Adding sequels and prequels has, in my opinion, sullied the impact of the original work. Madoka Magica is an intensely popular brand, and thus, is extremely profitable. Making spin-offs for the short series seems obvious from a business point of view. But a majority of these spin-offs are just made simply from this business point of view, and nothing else. One example of this is the most popular spin-off series for Madoka, "Magia Record," which takes place in the same universe with a new, expansive cast of characters. The show feels like a cheap imitation of the original series. Instead of trying to explore new interesting themes or go into depth on the topics brought up in Madoka, it’s just trying to recapture what made it so special without truly understanding why it was so special in the first place.

One of the primary cultural fears explored in Madoka Magica is the fear of death, specifically the death of the ones you love. At the end of the series, it is revealed that Madoka’s aloof best friend, Homura, is actually in love with her and has been stuck in a time loop trying to prevent Madoka’s death, which proves unavoidable. The finale deals with Homura stopping the time loop and accepting her crush’s death, and that the world will move on without her, and so should she. The series tells us death is natural, it happens to all of us, and we cannot stop it. But we can honor the ones we loved and lost and step into the future as they would want.

[phoneuserhana333]

neighbor!abby au — critters roaming around the neighborhood

thank u so much for 100 followers :D i felt like doing a small character analysis for the neighbor!abby au, since i don’t feel very confident about the whole neighbor abby au. hope you enjoy :)

contains: ellie, dina, jesse

• ellie williams is known for her whacky and modern art, usually exhibited in queer showrooms located in hell’s kitchen. she’s dina and jesse’s high school best friend, and a huuuuuge fan of y/n’s work. has been following y/n since the beginning of her career and admires her so much, though she has developed a small parasocial relationship with the producer. ellie knows all the artists y/n has worked with, she’s listened to all of the songs with her name in the credits and follows her on all social media platforms. attending one of her parties was a dream come true. finding out that she’s dating that one ER nurse that she had beef with in college broke her.

• dina, on the other hand, works at the same label that y/n works at, she currently manages a few big names and jesse, an up-and-coming rapper, who also happens to be her ex boyfriend. she’s smart and sneaky, works well under pressure and always gives great advice. she introduced ellie to y/n after ellie begged her to come as her plus one. regular at y/n’s parties and a bit wary of abby; dina knows how hard it is to date when you’re semi-famous and doesn’t want y/n to make any mistakes. ends up really liking abby after y/n told her about their christmas escapades.

• jesse, jesse, jesse. also known as rapisnotjesse (stylized: RAPISNOTJESSE!). extremely talented and good at writing, loves attending parties and dresses weird- which is why he’s friends with out protagonist, y/n. he’s known for a meme song that went viral and his career has been going up since. jesse still has a small crush on dina, but he acts ‘cool’ about it. very silly, very wholesome. spoiler alert: he becomes a very famous asian-american rapper. good for him!

[somedayillbepeterpan]

FOR BONUS POLINWEEK

DAY ONE | Favourite Season 3 scene: The Butterfly ball

I have bitten more than I can chew but I am determined to get all the parts out of this analysis if only to free up my head. Now, I just hope I could get out all the stuff I want to put out for each day of Polinweek too 🤣

PART 4: THE FEATURED SONG AND DANCE - Lights by Ellie Goulding

This song is hinged on this line that Pen says on S3E8 (“But I was careless with that power. It was easy to cast aspersions in the dark.”)

And the line while Pen was talking to Genevieve in S3E7 (“I'm relieved... in a way. It has been painful carrying that secret.”) Added also the obvious parallel of the titles of Episode one: Out of the Shadows and Episode 8: Into the light. 

I also looked into what Ellie Goulding said about this song and she said it’s about her fear of the dark, a childhood trauma, where she couldn't sleep without the light on. And while that explanation about this very catchy pop song seem to be very common, when I look at how it parallels to Pen's life and how she has been in the shadows most of her young life-- overlooked, ridiculed in her own family for prioritising her mind over her "prospects", unintentionally treated more like a soundboard than a person than her best friend, and forced to bury her affection turn love to her other best friend.

LW was a light in Pen's mind. Scientifically, the brain is fully active when you write on complex subjects and LW is definitely a complex one. When Pen used LW as more than just a scandal sheet but also a critique on how their society works effectively challenging the Queen, it became a true exercise of power when Pen affected and effected public opinion (there's a line on S1 where Anthony said something along the lines of how every one is swallowing everything that LW was publishing).

[I want to highlight this dance too because it looks like bugs flying around. Jack Murphy is an absolute genius.]

It is this power that Pen gets drunk on and made her feel that it is the only thing she can use to be properly heard thereby making the controversial decisions about Colin and Eloise's situations.

The funny thing about her abuse of power is that she used it for (and unintentionally against) the two people who actually WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER. I know that we saw her "try" to reason to both of them but she never said the truth. Which is the opposite of what she says in LW ("But gossip I might, I always tell the truth.")

This clouding of her judgment tainted the light that writing LW brought. And unless she came into the light, that clouding would have eaten her alive and I for one am glad that she finally owned up to her mess.

PART 5: BLOCKING AND WHERE COLIN WAS WHILE PEN WAS REVEALING HERSELF AS LW.

PART 1: THE VENUE AND A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT PART 2: THE COLOURS, THE FEATHERS, AND THE NUMBER 8 PART 3: THE FLUORESCENT FEATHERINGTON DRESSES

[mjuuuk]

thoughts about the S3 ending!!!! a whole lot of thoughts, actually. (spoilers + analysis under the cut. i also kindly offer you a cup of tea and a seat because it got a bit long)

my take on the ending (and especially the dancing scene, my beloved) after crying and pondering about it a lot, is that it's almost a sort of semantic vacuum. did Gedeon die? yes. no. perhaps. did he even exist? it's everything but also nothing and vice versa, and completely up to the viewer.

i feel what is most important regarding that ambiguity is actually the song choice, so i'll digress a little. we know Gedeon’s favourite singer is Wolfgang Ambros, who is a 70's/80's austrian indie songwriter (having a dad who is the same all i can say is you horrible nerd. affectionately.), and a lot of scenes throughout the show were accompanied by situation-suitable songs by the artist. a lot of them are famous for being very ambiguously written, and often can be interpreted on several layers.

I drah zua / I’m closing aka the song in the scene fits this as well. On surface level the lyrics tell about the protagonist leaving a round of cards because he's made to participate but secretly doesn't want to; so he leaves, and looks forward to have his own freedom, play his own games. The song has been interpreted as being about leaving a societal structure, leaving a toxic workplace or relationship, moving towns or taking your own life because it's the only autonomy you have left. there's not one way of reading it, but what the song does convey is relief to leave something behind and anticipation for what is to come. that being said, i think if they wanted the ending to be distinctly conclusive, they'd chosen a different song (there's a few very clearly about death, like the one used during Yela's murder).

my friend, mum and i saw the same scene, but interpreted it vastly different in the end, and it's really beautiful because all of them somehow work.

personally, I have a decidedly weak heart and can/want to see it as a scenario in which Gedeon survived and they say goodbye to their destructive careers. for my friend on the other hand it was as a last goodbye of Gedeon's consciousness. my mum saw it as both Ellie and Gedeon dying, and meeting again in the afterlife. i'd argue it could also just be the entire show dissolving and bidding farewell to itself.

when I first watched it, i actually 100% expected it to be a symbolic but conclusive last meeting/afterlife scene as well - with Ellie coming in, them smiling to each other a last time and then him get up and leaving the café (or life) for good. But he… didn’t?

The café in the scene seems to fit the cinematic trope of the afterlife antechamber, as a familiar but eerily empty space fitting around the protagonist's spirits, like a place in a memory. And it does, somehow. But then again, it also doesn’t. Ellie and Gedeon the focus, but then you notice they’re not the only ones occupying the space. There’s other people, watching them dance, reading their newspaper, walking or driving by outside. It's not only their souls. As if it’s just a regular morning, and not some empty place in the afterlife.

It's as if they took certain tropes but twisted them just enough to allow some final ambiguity. We see Gedeon being revived, but not if it worked. We see Ellie at the pond, considering to throw the dice, but not if she does. We see Polt being freed, but still don't know if his whole folktale is true.

tl;dr: i think however one took the ending, it's probably not wrong at all

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Charles Cuevas!

I haven’t talked much about this guy in my short time on Tumblr, but I’ve always loved this dork. Clearly academically gifted, but still a bumbling idiot at heart. He’s always a joy to have on screen!

Anyways, as usual, I’ll make a half hearted analysis on his character, alongside dumping in a bunch of fun facts from any sources I can find (mostly QnAs and the series itself), then mention a few songs that remind me of him!

-Charles originally held a very elitist attitude towards everyone else’s talents, arrogantly dismissing any he didn’t consider useful. 

-However, he’s quickly humbled by quite a few things. He had evidently lived a relatively sheltered life prior to the killing game, as he didn’t know how to perform basic tasks like using a washing machine or cooking, and Whit always poked fun at him for that and other reasons.

-But in particular, it was his debilitating fear of blood, hemophobia, which ended up fully humbling him. After seeing Teruko’s body post Xander-stab, he became unable to speak until after the end of the first trial. 

-In fact, Charles is the only person (aside from Xander for obvious reasons) who didn’t participate in the CH 1 Scrum Debate. He doesn’t even show up in the animation. Also, his sprite has him with his back to the group for the vast majority of the trial.

-After everyone saw him like that, Charles felt they started pitying him, which he absolutely loathed. He’s claimed he likes hanging out with Teruko specifically because she didn’t start treating him any differently after that fiasco.

-And of course, he also started enjoying Whit’s company. The matchmaker helped him during the trial, and then they became close friends. 

-This is despite the fact that Charles got very annoyed by and even genuinely angry at Whit making fun of him in the laundry room scene, as we see in their FTE.

-Veronika believes Charles’ hemophobia comes from repressed childhood memories, which seems likely given his secret: “Your older brother died, but you don’t remember him at all.” Hearing about it for the first time shocked Charles quite badly, but he later composed himself and overall handled his secret well. 

-His older brother’s name was Elliot (nickname Ellie), as revealed in the most recent QnA. He was 11-13 years older than Charles, and apparently looked very similar to how Chares looks now. All we know about Elliot otherwise is that his favorite food is pancakes and his favorite animals are dogs.

-In the same QnA, it was revealed the scar on Charles’ right arm is from a dog bite, but Charles thinks it’s a birthmark; he doesn’t remember getting it. This suggests this is related to his brother’s death, which when combined with the fact that Charles’ profile  states he dislikes dogs… really makes it sound like Elliot was mauled by dogs ngl. His favorite animal too.

-We know Charles usually writes in cursive, and given the fact his custom weapon isn’t listed in the list Whit showed everyone on the first trial, it’s likely it was written by him. 

Note the paper looks similar to the notepad Charles usually carries around. Also, the pen he always has on him and likes to chew on has black ink, if anyone cares. 

-Though the fact his strychnine is omitted from this list sort of means he and Teruko may very well be the only people in the killing game who know he has that weapon…

My guy’s getting poisoned isn’t he.

-Anyways, his profile also states he likes coffee ice cream, and this was reconfirmed in the recent QnA. He can also apparently brew good coffee, but not in the killing game since he doesn’t have the right materials (see: FTE).

-His secret quote is “If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway.” It’s possible it’s just talking about his brother, but if this follows the same logic as Arei’s and Min’s (as in, a phrase Charles actually says out loud), it will be interesting to see in what context he says it. Has he regained some of the memories of his brother’s death perhaps? He’s speaking of amnesia with quite the authority. But that’s just speculation.

-The quote on the Mai Akasaki profile attached to him is “A girl who loves her family.” Because he doesn’t remember his brother, but Mai loves her family apparently. I find it sorta hilarious that this is one of the only solid pieces of information we have about Mai’s backstory.

-Recap Foil Theory by gleamingtempest assigns Teruko as a narrative foil to Charles, which we’ve already seen come into play. They’ve essentially gone in opposite character arcs so far, with Charles opening up and starting to rely on others just as Teruko begun distrusting everyone and distancing herself from the rest. Other ways they foil include their attitudes towards the past; Charles considers his life very ordinary, all things considered, as he’s completely forgotten the worst part of his past. Meanwhile, Teruko hardly remembers all the things which she’s been through because of the sheer amount of bullshit she’s been through. Her luck has basically made her quite experienced in the situations Charles is most incapable in, anything with corpses and blood being the main thing. Among other thematic and narrative connections.

Charles obviously has very interesting thematic connections to a lot of other characters, but if I get into everything I’ll be here forever.

-He has numeral III in the David MV, a number which doesn’t seem to have any applicable symbolism on its own.

The phrase it’s connected to is “if you doubt brittle things are broken”, which refers to the preconceived notion he’s an only child (and his scar being a birthmark) being destroyed by questioning them, as he expresses in this scene:

Charles: Things you had accepted as truth your whole life begin to reveal themselves as lies. And once all the pieces are in place, you realize you were a fool for never seeing the whole story before.

There’s also background text, a famous passage from “The Little Prince”:

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“The essential” here is likely meant to be Charles’ memories or relationships.

-Color Theory by accirax assigns him plum, which includes the following words:

*change! X2: He went through a pretty fast character arc, so “change” makes sense.

*like that: This one makes sense with the context of the scene, but that will take too long to explain and it’s not too important.

*the o in original: Not getting into this one either, but in context it probably is just another reference to his change of heart. What? What do you mean that’s not what I’ve ever said in relation to this word? Don’t worry about it.

*a cup of poison: Strychnine stays winning.

Alright, now some more useless fun facts!

-His birthday, September 5th, doesn’t seem to have special meaning to him, but it does land on the International Day of Charity, National Cheese Pizza Day, as well as…

National “Act Dumb” Day, and National Be Late For Something Day.

…

Who the fuck comes up with these?!

-He dismisses the concept of a favorite color pointless, but his favorite color is cerulean (sorta blue like his gloves). His least favorite color is dark red because of blood, so yes, the characters see it as red.

-He likes “nostalgic food” that reminds him of his childhood. Hey, remember how he really wanted to eat pancakes in the FTE? And remember how Elliot liked pancakes? I’m sad now.

-He’s good with computers and technology in general (see: his talk about CDs vs DVDs), and apparently uses machine learning for chemistry purposes.

-He smells like laundry detergent. Presumably because he’s cleanly as a chemist, but I like to think he just spilt a fuckton of it on himself trying to wash his clothes.

-He’s right-handed and American, like practically everyone in the cast. Though he is ethnically hispanic/latino.

-He likes his hair length and doesn’t like the idea of cutting it short. Also, his hair color’s natural.

-He doesn’t need to wear those goggles all the time, but he’s stubborn. And his lab coat is slightly oversized, but he won’t admit it.

-In the FTE, Whit flexes quite a few nicknames for him. Charlie, Ceci, “Cha-ro-shi”… I think this is funny.

And finally, a few songs that I think fit him! Though my music taste doesn’t really align well here, so I had to reach a bit for a few of these. You have to understand, the extent of my research for this part always just extends to me scrolling down my playlists and seeing which songs I think work with the character.

+Toxic by Britney Spears. I am only slightly sorry.

+She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby. You decide what Charles ship this goes with.

+Uncanny by Ghost & Pals. It’s about someone struggling to understand and accept their own feelings and experiences (memories), so it fits.

+Amygdala’s Ragdoll by Ghost & Pals. Amnesia song.

+Aura by Ghost & Pals. A song about confronting past and present horrors.

+Lost One’s Weeping by Neru. “Science, math I like. But I’m terrible at English, so I despise”. He dislikes acknowledging his weaknesses and prefers to focus on the things he’s good at.

+Meltdown by iroha(sasaki). A song about change with a nuclear reactor as a metaphor. Perfect.

+Hyperdontia by Ghost & Pals and CreepP. “Pull them out and wash them off, the memories”.

+Candle Queen by Ghost & Pals. Sorta fits pre-arc Charles.

+Aishite by Kikuo. Trust me bro. He gives me these kind of vibes of a “golden child”, you know what I mean?

+SIU (Suck It Up) by Maretu. If you ignore what the lyrics are actually about, the vibe works quite well.

+Nobody Makes Sense by PinnochioP. I cannot explain to you why I think this fits so well, but in my mind it does.

+In iolite by Ghost & Pals. Hopeful and lowkey. I just really like this song, and I think it sorta fits.

+Those Who Carried On by guess who, Ghost & Pals again. I think the vibe fits decently, and if Charles is one of “those who carried on” I think it kinda works? Idk.

+100 Digits of Pi by AsapSCIENCE. You can’t tell me he can’t sing this front to back and then continue for like fifty more digits.

+The Periodic Table Song by AsapSCIENCE. Obviously.

And finally:

Happy Birthday! Though he’s going to be extremely embarrassed the entire time it plays.

(Also this is apparently my 100th post so pog)

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

The “July” duet with Leon Bridges tells a different story than the original and it hurts. In this version, Leon’s speaker gets to sing verse 2 and has a rewritten chorus: “Find someone who gives you all of the things I couldn’t, I know—‘cause I keep fighting all the ways I let you down so I can stay.” When Noah's speaker comes in for "if you want me to leave, then tell me to leave, and baby, I'll go," he sings the "and baby, I'll go" with her, then repeats it on his own.

Why do these changes matter? While the original clearly depicts the speaker as suffering in an abusive relationship, this version paints a picture of two troubled people who can’t communicate and thus recontextualizes some lines in verse 1:

Perhaps “something you said” was simply Leon’s speaker pushing Noah’s away instead of a(n entirely) willful effort at being hurtful. (It also could have been something she misread as hurtful, causing her to withdraw and him to feel inadequate, but the first interpretation is deeper and sadder.)

Him “throwing back beers” may be him trying and failing to cope with his problems (that could be the case in the original, but it's more likely here).

Even the animated music video adds credence to this interpretation:

As she cries, she turns around in shock to see him in the field (she had been looking in a mirror and saw him in the reflection).

He stands in front of her with something like resignation or even disappointment/anger directed at himself in his expression, and then smiles at her briefly before returning to the resigned, disappointed, angry look.

At the end, he does manage to comfort her somewhat, but still seems to retain his sense of shame at his missteps.

What a beautiful form of storytelling--the redistribution of verse 2 and the lyric changes craft a whole new narrative, and I am here for it.

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

sometimes i wake up by the door…

that heart you caught must be waiting for you…

even now when we’re already over…

i can’t help myself from looking for you…

Set Fire to the Rain ~ Adele

[hssprimefan]

What I've Done

Pixelberry

If you don't play High School Story Prime, you probably know me from this post. If you're also disappointed in choices, go sign up for the Candlelight Games newsletter. I looked a little more into Series Entertainment (AI company that bought Pixelberry) under this tag but didn't really dig that much tbh.

High School Story Gender Neutral Mod

The mod just changes dialogue to give the MC they/them pronouns.

It's here as HSS_TheyMod2.apk

My tutorial on reading the Lua (script) files

My tutorial on how I modded HSS

Fanquest Encoder

You can write high school story prime quests without learning the coding

It’s an alternative to this flash one by @fanquests

Art By Character

Characters are sorted by how often they appear. Things will repeat because it's usually about more than one character, but I won't necessarily sort every minor appearance

Mia

Warren Truce

The Table

Horses + Circles

PaytonDatin'

Butterflies (serious adaptation of a joke)

My MCs (Galaxy and Nebula)

Why do I have 2 main characters?

MC Style (and relationship to gender) timelines

Your Family (Nebula) (inspired by I Have Nothing by @ih8harley)

Listening (Nebula)

Ace

Unstoppable (song)

Stairs! Hear me out (more analysis than art but I'm weirdly proud of it)

Listening

Katherine

The Table

Horses + Circles

This isn’t the competition I wanted for us

Brigette

Brigette (analysis)

Brigette's happy ending

No boys allowed (joke)

Kara/Lacey

The Comeback

This isn’t the competition I wanted for us

Max

Warren Truce

Payton/Nishan/Shane

PaytonDatin'

Sakura

This isn’t the competition I wanted for us

Ellie/Kallie/Koh

Clothing Swap

Custom HSS styles

ERROR

Blair Stewart (@hsslilly-blog’s MC)

Rosalyn Brinkwater (@oakwolves MC)

Nebula

Other mods

Rebel MC (proof of concept video, but not released as a full mod cause I haven’t actually gone and added dialogue throughout the game to accommodate it)

HSS Main Character Clique Mods

(so far just writer)

Other Stuff

I made a Karaoke track for First Day! with sheet music I made on flat

I posted a compilation of all the classmates special animations

I've transcribed a lot of quests from the Lua files and added them to the wiki

The transcripts for Hollywood U's main quest and the Final 4 levels of High School Story's main quest are on the google drive from earlier, but I haven't added them to the wikis yet

I'm sort of working on pipberry (rad school story and hollywood uv) with @hsslilly-blog. here's the tag

Talkin about copyright

[tessa-liam]

Smoke and Mirrors - I Will Fight For You Chapter 2

Smoke and Mirrors 

Chapter 2: I Will Fight for You 

Book: The Royal Romance Finale AU 

Series premise: Hidden in the shadows, poised to challenge the status quo are enemies of the state. The loyalties and honesty of family, and of friends, will be tested. ‘Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.’ 

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks-Rys, OTP ‘LiRi’ 

2nd Pairings: Leo Rys x Amalas, (past, Olivia Nevrakis x Amalas)    Drake Walker x F!OC Delaney Leigh 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except Delaney Leigh, Interpol Director Ryerson, Criminal Intelligence Officer Cossoy 

Rating: M *Warnings: sexual innuendo, adult language/swears 

Category: Alternate Universe/on-going series/angst/fluff 

Words: 1968, Read: 8 minutes 

Chapter Summary: Olivia starts her fight to remain in Amalas’ life. Bastien may have lost credibility with his King, but his truth will be the start of a new reality for Cordonia.  

Chapter 2: I Will Fight for You 

Music Inspiration: Fight Song by Rachel Platten 

AN1: My submission for @choicesflashfics, Week # 16 Prompt #1. “All I ever wanted is right here in front of me”. 

Previous chapter: Old Habits Die Hard 

*** 

Royal Guard Palace Security Offices 

Bastien was watching with trepidation as the Interpol agents gathered more physical evidence from the tampered jail cell. The cell door locking mechanism was removed along with the corresponding digital touchpad installed at the entryway to the bank of holding cells. The computer analyst had already electronically uploaded data from the Cordonian computer systems to the Interpol police servers, early this morning, during his interview with Officer Cossoy. 

Going over in his mind the questions he was asked by the criminal intelligence officer, he was fairly confident that his answers that he gave were acceptable and not incriminating. The analysis from the confiscated iPhone didn’t have any circumstantial evidence of his involvement in any way. 

That he was sure of, after personally reviewing the data. 

There shouldn’t be any surprises this afternoon. Right? 

He felt prepared for his meeting with King Liam this afternoon. However, he was anxious and reconsidered every detail in his mind of the answers he gave to Interpol. 

What conclusions will Interpol discuss with the King? 

What will he his reaction to those conclusions? 

He woke up that morning feeling hopeful, but now, the guilt he always felt was now consuming him.  

*** 

King Liam’s Study, Cordonian Royal Offices 

Liam stood in front of the large bay window in his study, re-living the moment it registered in his mind that Riley was having twins.  

“...and this baby is the twin of another baby right next to it, here.” 

His smile grew wide thinking about having two more children in his family and what that will look like. 

Will they be boys? Girls? Or one of each?  

Ellie will have siblings! 

Riley was making another dream a reality for him, and he was ecstatic. 

When he heard the knock on the door, he redirected his thoughts to focus on the task at hand.  

A potential security breach.  

Turning at the sound of the guards voice, he regarded Leo as he walked into his study.  

Liam greeted his brother, “Leo, hey, thank you for coming to this briefing early.” 

“No problem, Li, how was the doctor’s appointment this morning? is everything okay with Riley?” 

Moving to stand behind his desk, Liam grinned, “well, I...”, he paused shaking his head and smiling. 

Leo tentatively returned the smile to his brother, raising an eyebrow, “what gives?” 

Liam couldn’t get the words out fast enough. 

“Riley is having twins!”  

“Woah! Geez, man...congratulations! Two babies on one shot! 

Impressive, little brother!”  

“Only you would think of that, Leo!” Liam chuckled. 

Leo walked over to his brother pulling him in for a one arm hug. 

Laughing, Liam shook his head, “thank you!” 

*** 

Monterisso Royal Offices 

Amalas sat back on her office chair, waiting for the Interpol file to upload. She was working with her security forces to identify a person of interest requesting citizenship in Monterisso. Normally, her team would vet all new migrants, however when Interpol contacted her directly about this person, her interest was piqued, and she wanted to investigate further personally.  

The analysis of the confiscated iPhone of the escaped prisoner uncovered decrypted information that pointed to a connection in her country. A drone manufacturer here in Monterisso. 

Amalas sat back on her chair, reclining back to relieve the tension in her neck. 

It was not a surprise that the ‘Spy Queen’ was personally asked by the Director for her expertise.  

Amalas had developed drone software, as well, as set up ultramodern drone hardware manufacturing companies in Monterisso.  

Interpol had previously acquired several models of surveillance drones and software for worldwide operations from Monterisso. 

But the surprise came from Leo Rys; who mentioned that this person of interest had evaded the Cordonian Royal guard, and that King Liam had called Interpol.  

The fugitive made a statement at the time of her arrest that she is a Monterrisan resident and was employed as a drone program analyst. In her search to identify this woman, being that they had no evidence of residency, or immigration papers, Amalas had found driver licensing documentation. 

Her name is listed as Lena Eleanor Runarsdotti, formally from the country of Vallenheim. 

She sat back up checking her phone on her desk that just pinged with a message. 

*** 

 King Liam’s Study, Cordonian Royal Offices 

Discussing the revelation that Dr. Ramirez gave at Riley’s appointment, Liam conveyed his anger and distrust of the investigation into the death of his mother. 

Leo was stunned, to say the least.  

“Our father would have known about this pregnancy! My God, Li, is there no end to the fucking bullshit that he was hiding?” 

“Why wouldn’t he tell me at some point that? Why would he not let me grieve for my unborn brother or sister? Did he grieve?” 

“Maybe she wasn’t pregnant when she died. She was away often from the palace, especially before she passed.” 

“Leo, what are you suggesting?” Liam was agitated at his comment. 

 “Li, something doesn’t add up…there’re missing pieces to this puzzle.” 

Liam sighs in frustration, “I have instructed Interpol to analyze and re-open the murder investigation of my mother and now her pregnancy as well.” 

That is another reason why I need you here in Cordonia.” 

Liam could feel his stress level rising, his jaw clenching, he walked over to his bar cart. Picking up two crystal tumblers and a bottle of scotch, he returned to his desk. 

“Anything you need Li, I will stay here for as long as you need me.” 

After Liam handed his brother a drink, once again, the royal guard knocked announcing the arrival of the Interpol Director. 

*** 

King’s Royal Chambers, Cordonian Palace 

Sitting on the terrace, Riley sipped her orange juice while checking messages on her laptop. 

There were several messages concerning Valtoria that she flagged for follow-up with her personal secretary. For the time being, Riley would work remotely with her key duchy council members, at Liam’s insistence. 

Liam was determined to have his queen step back from her duties as duchess temporarily in Valtoria; not wanting her to travel long distances without him.  

Riley sighed and shook her head. 

He was going into ‘protective Daddy mode’, and to help facilitate that, he tasked Olivia with overseeing her duchy along with Lythokis. 

Riley chuckled at the memory of Liam’s pleading look of concern as he successfully sold the idea to his wife. 

“Excuse me, your majesty.” Mara, Riley’s personal guard, interrupted Riley’s thoughts. 

“Duchess Olivia is here requesting an audience.” 

“Thank you, Mara, please show her here to the terrace.” 

Riley was not surprised that Liam had already arranged for Olivia to meet with her. 

Olivia appeared at the doorway, grinning at her longtime friend. “Twin babies! Riley, I am so delighted for you!” 

“Yes, it was a shock to say the least! 

Thank you for coming to see me. Liv, please come sit.” 

*** 

King Liam’s Study, Cordonian Royal Offices 

Interpol Director Ryerson and Criminal Intelligence Officer Cossoy entered Liam’s Study. They both bowed to Liam and then shook Leo’s hand before sitting down at the boardroom table. 

After pleasantries were exchanged, Director Ryerson wasted no time in stating their preliminary findings and suggested three plans of action. 

“Firstly, to facilitate the installation and implementation of the proposed enhanced security protocols, I would like to imbed Officer Cossoy with your Royal guard.” 

“Is there a perceived threat to my Kingdom, Director? A threat that the Royal Guard is not adequately equipped to ensure the protection of the Royal Family?” Liam questioned emphatically. 

“Not at this time, your majesty. Your family is secure.” 

“We do believe, however, that Bastien Lykel is a compromised asset, placed close to the royal family, during the time of King Constantine’s reign, by a yet undetermined element.  

By staying in close proximity to the operations of your Royal guard, we can watch first hand Mr. Lykel.  

“Bastien needs to be removed at once, especially now with Queen Riley’s pregnancy,” Leo exclaimed. 

“With all due respect, Queen Riley will be safer with the increased presence of Interpol.” 

“Does this ‘increased presence’ include added Interpol officers to her personal guard?” Liam responds. 

“Yes, your majesty, Officer Cossoy has select, vetted guards to imbed to the Queen’s guard.  

Director Ryerson continues, “The former Duke of Karlington, who is currently incarcerated, is also a point of interest here. 

We need your approval to seek his extradition, Your Majesty, to our headquarters in Lyon, France.” 

Liam at once answers, “whatever supports you need, of course. As well, I will assume you have evidence of Bastien’s complicity.” 

The Director continues, “we have reason to believe Mr. Lykel has previously undisclosed information on the death of Queen consort Eleanor Rys and of Jackson Walker, as well.” 

Even though Liam asked for a further investigation into his mother’s death, he was stunned at these revelations. 

“Lastly, we have identified the true identity of the woman apprehended by the Royal Guard, that was later released by Bastien Lykel. 

Her name is Lena Eleanor Rys. She is currently living in Monterisso, formally of Vallenheim. She was the ward of Queen Sigrid Runarsdottir, deceased.” 

*** 

The sun was just setting, when Drake slung into his Ford F-150 truck. He was exhausted.  

Tonight’s council meeting was complex. When Liam joined in with the Interpol officers, his world was flipped over with the new revelations. 

His mind was still reeling from the intense meeting and the last thing he wanted to do was to go home to a lonely cabin.  

Texting Delaney, he let her know that he would be stopping by tonight, hoping he could crash at her place. 

When he finally pulled into Delaney’s driveway, he smiled wide when she greeted him at the door. 

Upon receiving Drakes’s text, Delaney started to prepare a light, late meal for him, complete with home baked apple pie with ice cream for dessert. 

Drake sat back, after his feast, content and relaxed. 

“You were hungry!” 

“This meal.... was perfect. Thank you...You really know how to spoil a guy! 

“You’re welcome baby, anytime!” Delaney winks. 

Drake smiles, “Laney, come over here.” 

Moving to him, she straddles his lap.

“All I ever wanted is right here in front of me.” 

Placing his hands on her hips, Drake doesn’t waste any time, pressing his lips to hers, then deepens the kiss. After a few moments Drake pauses, then cupping her cheeks with his hands. Gazing into her eyes, he confesses,

“Then stay with me tonight.” Delaney whispers. 

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[fireflys-locket]

This month was very unpredictable. Lots of ups and downs. Emotions all over the place. Nearly always exhausted. And yet I've also been very motivated and productive. Writing is going well. And these favorites have been inspiring me.

Zero Escape: Now that I've finally gotten through all of the games, I've been watching a lot of analysis videos on this mind-bending series I love!

Palia: The new update is here, and I am still loving this game. It's also on Steam now! Yes, this game is unfinished. Yes, it has bugs. But this world and these characters feel like home to me. Please consider giving it a chance if it sounds interesting to you. It's free, and it's only going to get better and better. I'm excited to see what's to come!

Sims 2: I've been incorporating more storytelling in my usual gameplay posts, and I've been loving it. Simblr has been a big part of my creative inspiration lately. Over the last six months or so, it has really helped me get back in touch with my desire to create.

Music Favs: Underneath (Rosi Golan), Secret (Chelsea Lankes), Cold Front (Laura Welsh), More Alive Than Dead (Joseph), Classic (The Knocks & Powers), Oh My What a Fine Day (Behind Sapphire), The Writer (Ellie Goulding), Still in Love Song (The Stills), Dots (Woodes), Streetlight (Data Romance).

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