#empires smp season 2 headcanons

[stellocchia]

I'm sick and awake at an unreasonable hour, so it's Empires time!

So, while I was stuck between sleeping and being awake I got thinking of what it'd be like to be an interior designer in Empires. Weirdly specific, I know, but here we go!

Sanctuary: Sausage contacts you directly. When you arrive there the outside is already built and all the blocks are provided. Maybe this will be a standard job then. You get to assembling everything, tables, chairs, a stage... there are only two boxes left. You open them: they're pole dancing poles. You sigh and get to building that too. It could have been worse, at least he's not a zombie this time.

GlimmerGrove: Not only are you contacted directly by Katherine, you're also surprised because she usually doesn't like having outsiders. You get blindfolded at the entrance of the kingdom and they only take it off once you're in a dark unsettling room with a metalling scent to it. The light gets turned on. There's a pile of bloody severed monster skulls on the floor. Katherine asks you to help them look cute. You don't get paid enough for this shit.

Stratos: The request for your help goes through so much bureaucracy that you're not even sure God Joel is aware you're coming. You go anyway. You aren't told whether your job is in Lower or Upper Stratos and nobody knows anything. Once you finally make your way to Upper Stratos Joel pushes you into one of the holes in his bridges "for fun". You don't die by poor chance but you decide that it's time to leave regardless.

Olipoligo: You got a request in the form of a parrot learning a song about interiors and singing it back to you. It's so unusual that you decide to go. Oli is there trying to hold his colorful tent together with his will and failing. You decide to help and not only secure the tent but build it a lovely interior. It's time for payment, Oli points at a weird egg behind you and, once you turn around again, he's gone. Goddammit.

Evermoore: There's been a request sitting on your shelf for ages. It's gonna remain there. After the experience with Stratos you're not getting anywhere near the cursed fog ever.

Eversea: You make the mistake of going once. At first, it looks like everything is going well. There are no blocks out for you, but you have no problems providing those for an additional fee. You finish decorating the interior of all the new houses. Pirate Joe points his pistol at you and asks you to hand over all your goods. You haven't been paid since GlimmerGrove. It's awkward for both of you.

Gobland: For the first time ever you get paid upfront. All you're asked for is not to ask questions and to work around the chickens. Sounds easy enough. It's not easy. There are chickens everywhere and new ones pop out constantly. If that wasn't enough to get Fwhip to flip, his boss? Ex-boyfriend? Whatever the Sheriff is has just either fired him or broken up with him. Either way, Fwhip has not taken it well. You get through it by politely nodding to everything he says.

Ancient Capital: You're greeted on the bridge by its only inhabitant. He brings you to a statue and then down under it. There are graves everywhere, but you try to ignore that detail. He stops in front of more graves and asks you with no hint of joking if you can make the place look cozy. You want to cry, but at least he's paying...

Cogsmade: This one is another surprise, as the ruler likes to keep to herself. You still go. There's an unsettling pumpkin statue on the bridge, you try to ignore it. False does too. Perhaps that's the reason why she asked for help decorating. You head inside, the pumpkin guy statue is in there as well. You try to ignore it again, but it doesn't work. The thing hands you a clock somehow without moving. You're out of there before anyone can say anything else. Not worth the money.

Tumble Town: You both know you aren't gonna get paid for this job, but it beats getting arrested, so you take up the Sheriff's request. You do get paid by Joel to fit in his house as many Toy Story references as you can. You don't regret as thing as you comply. You gotta admit it's kinda funny after all.

Dawn: You think you're finally getting a regular job. Princess Gem promised you enough gold to settle down for good for a bit of a house renovation. You work hard and you have a smile on your face the whole time. Finally, you're done. It's time for the payment, Gem pulls out all the gold you could wish for... or was supposed to. That's honey. All of that is honey. At least your life will be a bit sweeter from now on.

Animalia: You weren't even there for a job, you just wanted to buy some amethyst. And yet, Major Lizzie finds you and drags you into one of the houses. She offers you raw chicken and amethyst to make it seem like no butchers accidentally died in there. This may as well happen. You do a great job if you say so yourself, and get paid as promised. You never talk about it ever again.

Chromia: You heard crazy things about the ruler of the place, so you're already dreading your visit. Things take a turn for the worst when the person who comes to greet you is actually a llama. Not an anthropomorphic one like Animalia's citizens, just a normal regular llama. You still decide to go through with it. It... goes surprisingly well. You get paid normally and you only have to sit through a few hours of Scott thirsting for Sausage. Overall, you think you got desensitized to that shit by now.

[dreamishsara-art]

A request for the Traffictwt4Palestine Charity Project! Read about it here

[birdnt]

pixlriffs calls his copper ager his "child"... but what if it was an actual child?

" david and dadriffs "

edit: i got. my first ever cc notice on twt. i henceforth pledge my allegiance to pixlriffs he is all-generous and kind

part 2 where david meets grian

(story hc: In the Golden Age of the Ancient Capital, its scholars would seek eternal youth, experimenting on orphans for the “greater good”. But when they created a child who aged the world at the touch, they were quick to discard it, not knowing they threw away the very thing they were looking for. Centuries later, an archeologist finds the infant in ruin, his most precious discovery yet...)

[hithisisboo]

A little Empires SMP thought. But, imagine little Hermes getting a little pair of wings and a little letter bag, and his first letter delivery without his dads is to go give Scott a letter.

And Sausage and Joel are just watching from Stratos as little Hermes makes his way over to Chromia.

And little Hermes knocks on the door of this colourful house, and a colourful man opens the door. And with a big, toothy grin Hermes announces, stumbling over his words, with a mix of accents, that he has a letter for Scott.

And all the letter is is just Joel writing a long winded explanation that Hermes got new wings and he wanted to deliver something without his daddies, and Scott was the closest.

But Hermes is very proud of himself, and flies all the way back to Stratos to tell his daddies about his adventure, oblivious to the fact that the two were watching him through spyglasses.

Also, I like the idea of Hermes being exposed to two different cultures, and picking up both accents. And his clothes are like a mix of both cultures.

Am I getting attached to an armour stand?

[latteedrawz]

Reasons why I think Jimmy might be a fae:

When splashed with the lore revealing potion, Jimmy became tiny. It might be that the potion is false and just shrunk Jimmy's size, but it is can also be possible that Jimmy turned tiny due to being a fae in disguise.

When talking to the old sheriff [Martyn], the old sheriff calls Jimmy a Pixie. Something EXTREMELY close to a faerie/fae. Not to mention the old sheriff never gave Jimmy his name.

This might not be on purpose but Jimmy is TERRIBLE in PvP lately. He tried killing fWhip twice and failed both times. Faeries are harmed by iron, and Jimmy has a literal railroad made out of it. Maybe it weakened Jimmy but he doesn't even realise it.

Faes don't forgive easily and hold grudges against people who have acted horribly towards them. They sometimes go into the persons way to ruin stuff for them, breaking their stuff.. cursing them... attempting to kill them sometimes as well.

Fae like children a lot more than adults and in some stories are shown playing with them and causing mischief. Jimmy didn't like Hermes at first, but that was only because of Joel. When the law/lore alliance was made Jimmy IMMEDIATELY became nicer to Hermes, even calling him a kind kid at one point. Not to mention Tiny Tom! Jimmy tried so hard to get Tiny Tom back, but that might just be him being a mama bird. It's a cool thought though. [FUN FACT: FAES USUALLY STEAL CHILDREN AS WELL] // EDIT: JIMMY KEPT HIS GOBLIN CHILD BECAUSE HE'S LONELY AND WANTS SOMEONE AROUND, BUT WHEN FWHIP BECOME A NORMAL EMPOROR AGAIN HE THREW THE GOBLIN CHILD AWAY? This gave me many mixed signals.....

Jimmy has NEVER gave his actual name to people in empires, which is James. He uses nicknames for himself near others.

Fae love nature and Jimmy has shown interest in getting more plants and life in Tumbletown, he just doesn't know how to. He has asked Sausage for tips multiple times.

Jimmy might have been a fae at one point and lost his wings, or just ran away from the other faes. It's a cool theory but very unlikely. But then again, we have no idea what Jimmy was before being a sheriff.

Faeries are easily offended and might turn evil if they feel like you have betrayed/wronged them beyond forgiveness. Sounds familiar huh??? *looks at Jimmy and Fwhip aggressively*

Jimmy has done SO MANY THINGS THAT WOULD GET YOU KILLED BY A FAERIE UNLESS YOU WERE ALSO ONE.. He entered a fae ring, said his name near the fae multiple times, accepted a gift from the fae, said sorry AND thank you, went around telling others about his interaction with a faerie, and more... Either Jimmy is a faerie or he's just the faes favourite.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!!! COMMENT IF YOU HAVE ANY THEORIES OR EVIDENCE :D I'd love to hear it!!

EDIT: MARTYN/OLD SHERIFF CALLED JIMMY ONE OF THE FAE AND JIMMY QUICKLY DENIED IT!!! Jimmy could be a runaway fae?? Maybe that's why he was so scared of the fae corruption! He might be thinking the faes want revenge.

[not-a-vegan3]

I love that fanon wise all the empires pre-existed before the current rulers were born.

Because it means False just showed up, started building shit and fixing stuff, and they just put her in charge.

Like "yeah she's a recluse and she definitely kills people, but she doesn't make us pay taxes"

[entityredacted]

Is this anything

[mcytprideicons]

lesbian princess gem

requested by anonymous

[unkn0wnnn06]

Genderfluid Jimmy is one of my favourite hc’s ngl

This edit was so fun to make bro, I was just vibing the entire time

[calciumyum]

Her cat totally human instincts took over

[pinkflames]

Sausage and joel found hermes while end busting and just went. This is mine now

Joel: *opens chest*

Hermes,chilling in the chest: daddy?

Joel: do I look like-

Sausage: YES!!

[raisans-art]

The world is made of titans, felled to earth to make shore and sea. And one still stands, tracing the veins in the stone that he knew by name.

—

Hello everyone I am once again selling Pixlriffs propaganda

So like… yeah. Titan Pix because DM energy

[schibi12]

[sleepyy-dakota]

"Aw Katherine, but you can't kill me!"

[hithisisboo]

Another little headcanon for Hermes because I’m currently fixated on a little armour stand.

I saw a headcanon, and now I can’t find it, where Hermes only knows Spanish and Ancient Greek, and no English. And I like that. His daddies rarely get to speak their native tongue, so at any chance they get, they will teach Hermes their language. So Hermes hasn’t been taught English, and so, he can’t read the notes his daddies leave.

But, anyway, in regards to Hermes not knowing English, I want to add that Pix’s, as an archeologist, has some knowledge of some ancient languages. So he can communicate with Hermes to some degree.

Imagine Pix getting saddled with babysitting duties before Hermes learns English because he’s the only one, besides Eddie, who can communicate with child. And Uncle Pix takes him through all the ruins, and down to the catacombs and onto the great bridge.

Why am I getting attached to an armour stand?? He’s just so cute!

[tinithebini]

Having some serious empires SMP brain rot so here’s some headcanons for Joel and Sausage’s son Hermes

One day Joel and Sausage went end-busting together. As they were collecting shulker shells, they noticed there was one shulker that would not open. Puzzled, they both hit it with a little bit of their magic, and out came a little baby boy.

Sausage made a poncho for Hermes, made from the finest fibers Sanctuary has to offer. It’s woven with a little bit of magic, to prevent stains and tearing, and to keep it soft and comfy.

Joel made Hermes a pair of winged golden sandals, which allowed him to fly. This was absolutely necessary, since he’s dropped the child on multiple occasions from extremely worrying heights. (He’s always managed to catch him, but they’ve had some CLOSE CALLS.)

Hermes is often sent off to deliver messages (duh) but sometimes it takes a while cuz he tends to get distracted. He’ll often deliver the message along with something he found, like a fist full of dandelions or a really cool lizard. These extra gifts are always appreciated.

Hermes can speak English, Spanish, and Greek, but he did not learn the Greek from Joel, since Joel can’t actually speak Greek. He learned it from the ‘peasants’ that live below the islands.

Sometimes the other emperors babysit Hermes. Not all of them are GREAT at it but they all do their best. “Uncle fWhip” is a particular favorite, since they always get up to shenanigans together.

He likes to make friendship bracelets. He made one for both of his dads in the colors of their respective empire, and he wears matching ones on each of his wrists.