#emptying notes

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

[marivanilla05]

In the middle of exams so here are just some higher quality versions of my last sketches!

(There will be no context for Menelaus dressed as a seal and Helen doing drugs. If you know, you know.)

[outlanderalien]

Ah! Your eminences!

[divineandmajesticinone]

TOP FORM (2025) I EP. 1 & 2 "Is there any way for me to stand beside Akin?"

[yayness-consumes-me]

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh fine. Lets play the notes game.

5 - I organize my markers (done!)

10 - I finally finish that lego kit ive been putting off since christmas (donzo!)

15 - I learn to crochet

20 - I pick up piano again

25 - I finish a writing a song

30 - I ask my parents to get tested for autism

Ok that blew up like really fast so heres some more

40 - I organize my desk

50 - I finish another song

60 - I start eating brekky every day (im trying!)

70 - I start waking up and going to bed earlier

80 - I spend less time on the phone

Come on i only have like 15 followers HOW DO YALL KEEP FINDING THIS

100 - clean my cats' lair

150 - organize my pantry

200 - do an art redraw (done! It was shitty!)

THATS IT IM DONE STOP BLOWING UP MY INBOX ITS OVER i'll update yall on how its going obviously bUT ITS OVER IM OUT OF IDEAS

GUYS I SAID ITS OVER STOP SPAMMING ME PLEASE IM BEGGING U

[leisi-lilacdreams]

i wonder if @somerandomdudelmao will touch upon the unique connection the donnies have with the kraang? hehehe

cass, think of the angst potential 🙏

i didn't mean to continue with the "twin senses active across space and time" bit, but i thought with the leos in the future, this would be a good chance for the donnies to talk and bond, but it gets derailed when they compared their kraang encounters and everyone's screaming and no one's happy

[rileymorph]

more adult Vio plss 🙏

admittedly, I still have don't have a solid idea on what the FS Links' adult designs would be, so this is all kinda lazy LOL

and I have a couple doodles from a dropped idea so I guess I'll throw them in there too lmao

[threecowsusingthisforreblogging]

who up wondering they lust?

(me. i should be asleep right now. honk shoo mimimimi.)

[cirrus-grey]

TMA Gerry, dressed in head-to-toe black, with died black hair and tattoos, gaunt as a skeleton, smoking a cigarette: Who're you?

TMAGP Gerry, dressed in bright colors, with natural hair and no tattoos, plump-cheeked, drinking herbal tea: I'm you, but traumatized differently.

[ph-cutie]

DISCO ELYSIUM - LOCATIONS

[numbuh424]

The unstoppable, mighty hurricane and the immovable, cold, hard truth.

[chickenscribbles]

Everything functions perfectly fine without you.

[lightgamble]

DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.01

You tell me, Karen, what do you expect me to do here?

[saturnniidae]

I love how Trollhunters is such an outlier in its genre in the sense that from the very beginning, when establishing the status quo, the notion is set; you can't always win someone over, you have to finish the fight. It is very often kill or be killed, and you can't bank on being able to change that.

And of course in the beginning Jim is horrified, and staunchly refuses to even kill even the troll equivalent of a rodent, and he does manage to win people over by talking, multiple times. And he defies everyone's expectations with these new allies. His ability to do this is one of his strengths and it's incredibly impressive, but in the end he learns and relents to the fact that sometimes of only way you can stop someone is to meet violence with violence and by then he wants to.

It's not just about self defense or damage control anymore, Gunmar killed his friends, and caused those still living to suffer, and indirectly forced him to give up his humanity, his future, his chance of having any semblance of a peaceful life,

(In Jim's eyes anyway. But really, from the moment he picked up that amulet, he lost his chance at normalcy. He was doomed from the beginning. He was also 15.)

And he wants him fucking dead. I don't know, but that's just so unusual for the type of character that Jim is, but it's so very human to break under something so heavy (Young Atlas and all that, I suppose), and it's almost ironic for him because at that point – again, to him, at least – he is anything but human.

[lil-tomi]

1st House Observations:

I've been reading more about the Houses and wanted to provide some observations! Writing these have been so helpful as I learn more and more about astrology 🫶

Aries ♈️ in 1st: overzealous and immature in the best way possible, they let their inner child be their guide in a beautiful way

Taurus ♉️ in 1st: personifies the color green, they probably hike, or do raw clay pottery or some shit, they're truly earthy if it's also their Sun ☀️

Gemini ♊️ in 1st: I'm lowkey threatened by these people, their aura is haunting and they are better than me at literally everything

Cancer ♋️ in 1st: someone who gives off an artsy vibe but is actually very logical and reason based in their thinking, usually cute

Leo ♌️ in 1st: okay ngl, they're kind of annoying, but I love these people, they have the energy of laughter, a cool summers day, & peaches

Virgo ♍️ in 1st: they are so tense or so chill, there's literally no in-between, they also are not easily readable, they keep their cards close

Libra ♎️ in 1st: straight up superhumans, they know their shit in whatever field they're in, they have a great sense of personal style also

Scorpio ♏️ in 1st: the absolute worst version of Scorpio, double red flag 🚩 if it's also their Sun ☀️ or Venus, sorry not sorry what can I say tbh

Sagittarius ♐️ in 1st: I want y'all to be able to livestream your thoughts, cause I need to know everything, so intelligent and wise

Capricorn ♑️ in 1st: sometimes, I really think you guys just need to take a step back and breath, you take stuff too serious, just relax ok?

Aquarius ♒️ in 1st: the artistic vision of these people is like no other, they are fluid in any role and wear many hats, underrated leadership style

Pisces ♓️ in 1st: they have Alice in Wonderland vibes, frequently overlooked, just wants to chill with their cat, generally confused

Empty: they are usually anxious as hell, even if they don't show it

Here some other more general observations ~

People with their Sun ☀️ Sign in the 1st house have a really strong sense of self and identity, they know their shit, they know where they've been and they know where they're going, if you share similar values and ideals keep this person close

Moon 🌙 Sign in the 1st house people also know themselves well but they are not people who typically make friends easily, they may try but they also struggle with rejection

Having your Jupiter and/or Mars in the 1st house makes for great parents, strong teachers, and generally reliable people

Venus in the 1st house are fucking supermodels for sure, but stop asking them about their skincare routine, that shit was blessed by god

North Node in the 1st house people are often preoccupied with fame, achievement, and attention, when their efforts aren't successful they are the worst people to be around

[crimson-constellations]

i just watched the new dungeon meshi ep and the oly thing i could think about was that every time laios and kabru talked to each other it felt like that one death note scene in the coffee shop L (kabru) keeps inner monologuing but when its light's (laios) turn into one of those "death note with no internal monologue" videos