#entry 21

[miradanii]

Beastwars first watch episodes 18-21

Back from a break on watching the series. A very interesting character appeared....

Ep 18 - I forgot I was in the middle of it while at work and accidentally skipped past it to episode 19 and then went back. Due to being so confused who this new character was. Ngl I simultaneously think he's gross and cool. I like his robot head. Very sharp. I think the model is an improvement too.

Oh yeah Tarantulas says the planet is doomed and won't say jack shit? Mk. Keep your secrets. So what we got a signal beam from Stonehendge that temporarily captured Optimus, and destroying a peaceful floating island. Hmmm

Ep 19 - This was a much quieter episode and it felt like they were experimenting with more camera movements. Fun seeing these characters much more animalistic even if they're technically already kinda animals with hints of animal behavior?? Also out of nowhere I laughed. I'm just vibing and all of a sudden Megatron is hoisted up by his crew on a lil carry throne with Black Arachina banging kn a drum I guess they made. It's just...so silly. I love it.

Ep 20 - the Maximals go blind?! This was kind of sad, seeing Cheetor getting beaten up. Poor kitty....I think the only funny part was Dinobot freaking out and running into a tree flattening himself. Straight up slapstick humor. I think its one of the episodes where I kind of wish for the rest of it the Predicons didn't show up and it was purely the wilds that grt the best of them. Just a personal opinion. Maybe because I want to see an entire slower paced episode without fighting for once.

Ep 21 - It's Starscream. Oh boy he's a screaming Lil guy, the voice actors must take realllly good care of his vocal chords cause wow (okay wow he plays Terrorsaur i cant believe i didnt catch that). And he's from the past?? Are they connecting the 1980's movie and this show?? Hm cool tie in. I find it incredible throughout so many iterations of Transformers the writers have Starscream weasel his way back into the story any way he can. Guy is just truly unkillable.

Overall this wasn't the greatest batch of episodes to bindge. I had been busy waiting all week attempting to watch at least one episode and when I watched all 4 in one sitting...hm guess 4 was one too many. I'll pace it out better next time.

[bitter-shy]

Dear Diary,

Yes, my suitor became my boyfriend. I plan to introduce him to the fam as my boyfriend on my birthday.

[tale-of-two-places]

“The Balance”

Someone brought up the idea that magic is a give and take in our discussions this week, that when one casts a spell, it messes with the balance of nature, whether good or evil, and must then be countered to rebalance nature. Reading Senior’s article only further provided evidence of this idea through the idea of gift-giving, “Earthsea’s Equilibrium or Balance consists of a system of exchanges, a system which implies obligations and responsibilities for those involved because of the reactions and fluxions that any earlier action generates” (104), which establishes magic as a sort of gift which will have a reciprocation. I think it’s fascinating that this “Balance” is characterized as a sort of living being—Senior capitalizes it throughout the text, along with “Equilibrium.”

In the real world, the closest idea that I can think of which reflects this is the idea of karma, that what you do will affect what is done to you. But that is more of a self-related give and take than the Balance in Earthsea, which seems to be more nature-oriented and affects the world. So, does this only pertain to magic? Or if a person, say, cuts down a tree, does this affect something somewhere else in Earthsea? Ged stated once that he could not simply cause rain in one place without possibly causing a drought in another. Does all nature work like this, or just magic?

I think it’s also fascinating to look at the giving of names as the giving of a gift, as I have been viewing the protection of ones name as the protection of oneself against the outside world, and it still is in a way, but as Senior points out, giving your name “Is to render oneself completely… ‘it was a great gift Vetch had given him,’ for he ‘had given that gift only a friend can give, the proof of unshaken, unshakable trust’” (qtd. Le Guin 69, 106). And since gifts are “An extension of the giver, in fact often of his soul” (106), giving your name is giving your soul to another person. This isn’t really a new point I’m making, I just thought it was quite a nice thought.

[diary-of-a-people-pleaser]

Entry 21, 1-17-21

Wow! If anyone can crawl his way out of the void, it’s ya boy. I still don’t remember much…

[mydiarynotyours]

Is it that difficult to understand the concept of sharing? We can our stuff if the other person doesn't have those but like you have a lot of them and I only have a few???? LIKE HELLO?????? Just because we are of the same size doesn't mean mine is yours.

[vndrea-xo]

I am more than ever ready for a change. I need it at this very moment to survive.

[grow1ng-gurl]

Entry #21

Day 57, haven’t been writing a bunch since I’ve been living off the land. And stealing from nearby stores. Evan has a nice little patch of woods next to his place, so I’ve been hanging out in there. Boobs are bigger too, and they’re starting to become a pain. Can barely look down if something’s not like five feet away. I accidentally stepped on a dumb squirrel that didn’t get out of my way. Looked like roadkill. Had to find a stream to wash off my foot.

[ihaveweirddreamswhenimstressed]

August 11, 2019

Think Fab Five and the Avengers, and you will kind of have an idea on what this dream entailed. A dude and a girl were at the mall, and saw the monster that has been chasing them this whole time. The guy screams, and the Fab Five and Captain America go to investigate. Tan is doing too much, and instead of riding the train to the depot, he runs alongside it, and is stuck under it. Everyone is waiting for him to climb out after the train passes. My brother, a couple other people and I are in this room filled with water and had a big iceberg on  one side and a smaller one in the middle. the goal is to dive down and grab three gems without getting eaten by a shark. Each time we succeed, the next room has a bigger shark and smaller iceberg. In the last room, the shark came up and ate half of the iceberg, so there really was no safe place left. I dove in the water at a bad time, and the shark was about to near me. He froze for some reason and then left me alone because I found the box of settings(like a video game). I changed the difficulty from hard to medium and turned off iceberg eating setting.

[my-uni-made-me-make-this-blog]

Entry 21: Work In A Different Environment.

For this prompt I used the extracted concept of failure.

It was getting to that time in the term where there is a work overload and deadlines are looming and failure is not a something that I want to experience at this time so in order to counteract that I went to work in a different environment.

I went to my sisters place and it was the catalyst to getting lots of work done and thus failure was swiftly avoided.

Extracted concept: Improvement

[pulverulents]

#21: on trying to be special

The other day I joined a close friend for a talk on the Special Programme in Science that my uni offers, even though I had close to zero interest in it. And I asked her why she wants to apply for the programme, and she replied that it sounded like the Advanced Science Programme that she missed out on in JC. 

And then I looked around and saw multiple people who I recognised from my previous secondary school and was mildly intrigued as to why they all wanted to apply for this programme. I brought this up to aforementioned close friend and she said, “oh, I guess MG girls tend to flock to these kinds of special programmes because of the whole SBC thing. It’s exclusive, and everyone wants a piece of it.”

And it really struck me as kind of strange, because as someone that was in the SBC class for 5 years and then in the IP class for another 2 years after that, there’s....really nothing special about these kinds of special programmes? Quite ironically, having that ‘special’ label doesn’t automatically make you special. Over the years, I’ve come to learn that being special isn’t about whatever label you’ve been assigned, it’s what you do with what you’ve been given. 

To be completely honest, after 7 years of being in ‘special’ programmes, I’ve had enough. Personally, all that happened is that I was held to higher expectations that I wasn’t prepared to meet (including the school’s expectations, my parent’s expectations, and my own expectations), and I performed so underwhelmingly that I was anything but special. I came out of it wishing that I could just be ordinary so that I didn’t have to bear the burden of that ‘special’ label, but reflecting on it now, I think I’d rather just try to be special on my own terms, to rise out of the ordinary without some label to do it for me.

If anything, this feels more right to me. I want to find my own definition of ‘special’ on my own terms. I think everyone does. And if special programmes and labels and whatnot help you with that, then that’s great! But for me? No. I don’t want the label of ‘scholar’ or ‘genius’, because I’m neither. I’m just whatever I am, and I don’t need any labels to decide that for me. 

These 4 years in uni are my last chance for me to be whoever I want to be. And I know that my ‘special’ is somewhere inside this mess of a human being. I’ll find it somewhere in here, slowly, but surely.

-jo

[farawaythinks]

The starting of today was nice. Then it just got alright to ok to just tiring and exhausting and stressful and weird and upsetting. It’s only been a week of college and I already want to get it over with. I also heard of something I wasn’t expecting because why would they when they know how I feel but whatever. There’s too much on my mind and I just wanna sleep and wake up in a different world where I’m successful doing what I like and being happy and not what I’m feeling right now. 02/05/2018

[housealderscorn]

Entry #21: Wind

Another gust surged and Raven tightened his grip on the railing until the knuckles of both hands were white and the wood groaned in protest. Once the wind subsided, he exhaled the breath he was holding and a plume of mist danced in the cold air. Stealing a cautious look over the railing of the airship was a mistake and he eased backward again. “That was stupid,” he croaked to himself. So distracting was his thought-paralyzing fear, he did not hear the captain’s approach behind him.

“Ah, tis a fine day for a voyage!” The captain said, slapping Raven hardily on the back with her massive hand, causing him to gasp and strangle the already belabored railing.

The captain’s name was Perilous Cloud, the irony of which was not lost on Raven. Had he, in fact, known the Roegadyn’s name, he may not have hired her to pilot his vessel for Alderscorn Imports. As it turned out, Perilous was an extraordinary captain in whom Raven placed considerable trust with his company’s cargo.

He did not, however, trust the wind or the sky that harbored it.

“I couldn’t imagine a finer day to plummet to one’s death, Captain,” Raven said.

She laughed and shook her head at the silly man, hiking her foot onto the top railing and striking a match against her boot. “Ye of so little faith,” she said, lighting the pipe she gripped in her teeth. “I swell with pride at the confidence you bestow upon me,” she said. She winked at the elezen who was clearly having a difficult time seeming casual.

The vessel listed slightly larboard, shoved by another strong pulse of frigid wind. The ship compensated for it and gracefully corrected itself level again. Raven had been easing his grip on the railing, testing his fear against the confidence he had in the ship and it’s captain, but he latched on again. He screwed his eyes tight and fought his instinct to panic.

He could have stayed below decks, of course. Safe and sound in his cabin, the automatic stabilization systems rendering him completely ignorant of any motion the ship encountered. It was his fear that convinced him to do otherwise. It was foolish, he thought, that a man should avoid that which terrifies him. He was a knight, by the Fury, and no stranger to the horrors of war. He’d faced man, beast, and dragon with steel in his hand and ice in his veins. On those bloody fields his fears only served to drive him forward, to challenge himself against unlikely victory.

Flying, however, was an adversary he could not bring himself to face with a steady hand.

Perilous looked at her employer, tapping the tip of her pipe against her lip as she considered. She knew Raven was no coward, had heard about his victories during the dragon wars and trusted her own instincts on the matter. He was no coward, she knew that. Still...“Had yerself a bad experience,” she said, more of a statement than question. Raven nodded without looking up.

“Aye,” said Captain Cloud. “Reckon you’ve seen your share of scary stuff. Heard the stories.” She lowered her voice and put her hand on Raven’s shoulder, “Cryin shame about your folks, Navigator lay them in peace.” She felt his shoulder stiffen and then sag slightly beneath her hand and she squeezed. “Point, bein, m’Lord, that you’ve come too far through too much fuckin’ mess to let the bleedin wind turn ya white...beggin yer pardon.”

She was right, of course, and Raven knew it. But the divide between ‘knowing the path’ and ‘walking the path’, at least in this case, seemed uncrossable. He simply nodded.

“C’mere,” she said. Her voice sounded further away and Raven turned to see that she’d stepped away from the side rail and toward the pointed bow. She stood there at the edge of the ship where the railing sank into the deck, leaving nothing between herself and the open air but a few feet of wood..

Raven looked at her with wide eyes, his expression painted more with disbelief than with fear. “What in the hells are you doing?! Get away from the edge, you fool!”

Perilous Cloud responded by extending a finger, pointing at the deck. “Ain’t askin. It’s what you need and ye know it.”

He did know it, but every ounce of his instinct fought against the notion. He felt it holding him to the railing, heard it plead, beg, order him to stay. Raven growled to himself. Enough, he screamed into his head, drowning out the voice of fear. He stared at his hands and forced his fingers to loosen their grip and, before he could change his mind, raised his chin and walked slowly toward the captain.

Once he was in reach, Captain Cloud snatched ahold of Raven’s arm and pulled him to her side, edging over slightly to make room.  Admirably, Raven resisted the urge to yelp, but now that he looked out, seeing more sky than boat, the clouds rushing by, the airship version of foam against a prow, he panicked. “Steady on, boss,” Perilous said, clamping him against herself to keep him still.

As his breathing slowed she relaxed her grip. He became still and calm. His legs began to loosen and accept the rocking of the ship. Even when another gust blew, Raven remained still, only shifting against the wind to compensate.

Perilous Cloud smiled widely and plucked the pipe from her mouth and puffed out a thick, sweet cloud of smoke. She pushed out her chest, filling her lungs with the crisp virgin air of the free skies. “See, now? Isn’t it wonderful? The clouds at yer feet, the wind in yer hair? The smell of freedom and adventure?”

“No, I hate this,” he replied immediately.

Captain Cloud nodded and sucked on her pipe again as if she’d not heard him. “Aye, well, learn to love it. Cuz I ain’t lettin ye go.”

[davina-wolfthorne]

Entry #21 - The Coming Storm

Twenty-first writing prompt [Wind] for FFXIV 30 Day Writing Challenge

Tucking herself in against the plush cushions of the manor couch the doctor buries her face into a pillow. Last night Cynric stayed at her apartment for the first time. Living in a one bedroom apartment doesn’t really give her much space so she let the Hyur child have her bed while she sleeps in the living room. Eventually, if she ever gets around to it, she’ll have to look into getting a two bedroom place. She could even re-purpose her smoking room but that is her little sanctuary to escape to at the end of the day. Plus it would take too much time which she is very short on as is. Sleeping on the couch isn’t so terrible. It is rather new so the cushions still are full and bouncy. Tugging the covers up to her chin the bow mage goes to burrow more into her temporary ‘bed’ but a loud series of bangs wake her from her light slumber. 

Bolting upright on the couch eyelids snap open. Groggy sapphire seas glare around the room. Sleep is incredibly precious to Davina. It isn’t often she is able to escape into a dreamless realm of darkness, but when she does the doctor savors it. So to be awoken when she was actually able to slumber fills her with irritation. For a moment she isn’t concerned, as if forgetting about her new role as a ‘mother’, but her tired mind finally realizes she isn’t the only soul in here. 

Cynric! Leaping off the couch she slides the door to her study open and dashes through the room. Gripping the partition door, that leads to the only bedroom, she shoves it open. Panic flooding through her veins. A wave of relief washes over her in a tidal wave when she notices the child stirring from his own sleep. “What’s going on?” He asks sleepily. Small hands rubbing his exhausted eyes. 

“I’m not sure, but I’ll have a look.” Davina replies gently and pads over to one of the bedroom windows. Pulling back the long curtain she peers out into the darkness. That is when she notices empty barrels rolling down the street and crashing into stone fences and buildings. At first she believes that something is wrong, but out of the corner of azure eyes she can see the trees bending in the furious winds. Davina releases the curtains to let them fall back into place. She can hear the howling of the wind. How it makes the windowpanes vibrate from its vicious touch. “It’s just the wind. Go back to sleep.” Her voice gently reassures. 

[monster-pirate]

21st: Write about a memory related to a holiday.

“Dearest…”

A hand rubbed over Vivvienne’s belly in a loving caress. Scynthe’s hand searched for a sign of the child within. Vivvienne smiled up at her new lover, her new husband with the grace of an angel. The two together seeming like a couple touched by the light if one didn’t look too closely. Although This was their first Winter’s Veil together and for the first time, Vivvienne had finally felt at peace, like she’d won. This was it! The perfect moment in her life. Two children, one on the way. What more could she want than this perfect picture?