#eric being the one to have his high school sweetheart

[noramoons]

seasons (waiting on you).

pairing: yeonjun x reader, (eventual) taehyun x reader

genre: college au, angst, slight fluff at the end

rating: T/13+

word count: 16.5k (i am so sorry)

warnings: explicit language, one (1) mention of alcohol, descriptions of a breakup, depression and anxiety depictions, mentions of harmful behaviors and thoughts, just so many post-breakup emotions being described for way too long BUT angst with a happy ending :)

summary: when your high school sweetheart choi yeonjun is off to grad school, you aren’t too worried about how your relationship will last—but your favorite coworker, kang taehyun, is.

OR:

a study in the seasons of loving and losing choi yeonjun—and how you put yourself back together afterwards.

playlist: telepath - conan grey, let you break my heart again - laufey, back 2 u (A.M. 01:27) - nct 127, i don’t know you anymore - eric nam, drive - ashton irwin, seasons (waiting on you) - future islands

I. PROLOGUE. 

Loving Yeonjun was like watching a meteor shower cross the sky. It was beautiful, and you considered yourself blessed to have been able to see it with your own eyes—but like everything else in life, it was inevitable that it had to end. 

And it ended too soon.

You still remember the day he transferred to your high school—everyone had practically stared as he walked down the hallway, beaming politely at the people at he passed on his way to his first class. He was like a celebrity almost instantly, and not just because he was a transfer student—Choi Yeonjun was beautiful, and jaw-droppingly so, at that. 

You ended up having two classes with him, to the mostly-pretend envy of your friends. They did all say that they would be far too nervous to even try to talk to someone like Choi Yeonjun, but you didn't feel that way. He was stunningly handsome, certainly—but he was still just a high schooler like you. You didn't feel intimidated by him in the same way that your friends clearly did. 

So one day you offered to help him with Mrs. Jung's pre-calculus homework—she was a notoriously difficult math teacher, but this was the second year you'd had her. You knew what to expect with her by that point. You didn't, however, know what to expect with your offer towards Yeonjun—it was just a passing remark you made at the end of class that you would be more than happy to give him some pointers on how to pass her quizzes if he ever needed them. Nothing too serious. 

But he'd looked up at you. Blinked. And then smiled, meeting your gaze with those soft bright eyes that practically made you melt right then and there in that classroom. "Thank you," he'd said, as genuine a thank you as you'd ever heard.  "I'd love that. Could I ask you for another favor, actually?" 

You weren't entirely sure what he was going to say next, but you nodded anyway, despite your gut telling you no. 

"Can you tell me some good places to eat here? My family just moved—you know that, obviously, but I'm getting kind of tired of takeout every single night. So if you have any recommendations that, um...aren't chain restaurants, I'd appreciate it a lot." He had laughed slightly nervously after that. 

Something fluttered within your chest. Oh. Choi Yeonjun, for all his good looks and charming attitude, was kind of awkward, too. 

It just made you melt even more. 

You did end up telling him the best local places to eat in your city, surprising yourself with your own bravery when you told him you wouldn't mind showing them to him yourself sometime—and he replied with that reassuring smile once again. "I'd love that, too," he'd said. 

You'd exchanged numbers, but you didn't really think anything would come of it—it was always possible that Yeonjun had just been polite, after all. He surprised you once again, though, with a text that weekend asking to meet him at the breakfast bar you had recommended. 

Just me? you'd asked. 

Yeonjun had responded within minutes. Just you. 

On Saturday, you stressed for nearly an hour over what to wear, trying on combination after combination of outfits. Everything you had was too old (there's a difference between vintage and gross). Too new (trying too hard, much?). Too short (what will he think of you?). Not short enough (did you time-travel in from the 1800s?). But eventually, you settled on something that was just slightly above casual wear and made your way to the restaurant to be ten minutes early.

Yeonjun was there before you, giving you a small wave when you pushed open the door to the restaurant. You'd thought someone as cool in appearance like him wouldn't be the kind of person to get somewhere super early, even earlier than you—bur Choi Yeonjun seemed to be the kind of person who just kept surprising you. His outward appearance that made nearly everyone you knew practically fall at his feet clearly wasn't all there was to him. 

You learned quite a bit more about Yeonjun that day, and you'd continue to learn more when he asked you to meet him for lunch again later that week. He wanted a dog, but the apartment he was living in with his family wouldn't allow it. He listened to just about every kind of music you'd ever heard. He was a good, genuine kind of listener, hanging on your every word whenever it was your turn to speak. It was a little detail, but you would've been lying if you said it hadn't made your heart beat faster every time you noticed it. 

It wasn't until the third outing that you finally gathered up the courage to ask him what had been on your mind since that very first invitation. "Yeonjun?" you asked, almost stuttering on his name as it passed your lips. Get it together. 

He looked up from his bowl of noodles. "Mmm-hmm?"

"Is this, um...is this a date?" 

He only hesitated for an instant. "Is that okay? I mean," he had started, trying to hold your gaze, "would you want it to be?"

You nodded, maybe too quickly. "I would."

The grin that instantly tugged the corners of his lips immediately melted any insecurities you'd had away. That was always what being around Yeonjun was like—he just set you at ease. 

You felt that same way a month later, when you'd agreed to meet him at an art museum downtown that you'd mentioned wanting to go to. He'd led you through the halls, warm hand in yours, gazing at the different paintings hung on the walls together—different expressions of love and hate and sorrow and every expression that man could expel into a paintbrush. 

Well—you had been staring at the medley of colors and brush strokes on the painting directly in front of you. Yeonjun, unbeknownst to you, hadn't taken his eyes off you since you'd walked into this particular room. "I have something to tell you," he'd said. "I...I don't like beating around the bush with these kinds of things."

You turned to face him at the sudden declaration. Your heart was pounding against your chest loud enough that you wondered if Yeonjun could hear it, but you swallowed down your nervousness and nodded. 

He took your silent reply as confirmation to keep going. "I like you," he said, never looking away from your eyes for an instant. "I want to keep going out with you, if that's something you want."��

You remember thinking that Yeonjun had to have been able to hear how loud your heart was from inside your chest—you'd never felt that kind of nervous excitement before in your life. Still, you managed to nod again, smiling softly at his words. "I'd really like that too, Yeonjun. Because I like you too." 

He'd beamed at you, looking at you like you were the only thing in the room, as if you were a piece of art to be marveled at despite the awe-inspiring works surrounding both of you—and you returned that grin as much as you could. 

And now you're here, years away from that day where you and Yeonjun had both confessed. It's like everything has fallen into place just like it was meant to. 

It's the longest relationship you've ever been in, not to mention the first long-term relationship you've ever had, and you've been fascinated by the way it has evolved. Seeing Yeonjun when you walk into a room doesn't fill you with nervous excitement anymore; rather, it calms you down, simply grounding you with his presence. You don't feel nervous about bringing your concerns to him, worried about what he might think about  you when you overanalyze the conversation afterwards—instead, you take comfort in the fact that he brings his concerns to you, too. He loves you. And you love him. 

You'd spent a year apart when he had graduated high school before you, but you'd promised with teary eyes as you helped him move into his college dormitory that you'd keep this going if that was what he wanted. "Don't, um...don't forget about me while you're having fun at college," you'd quipped in the parking lot right before you left. It was a joke (mostly), but Yeonjun had heard the worry in your voice. He'd smiled at you then, just like he had all those years ago. 

"Of course," he'd said, holding you tightly to his chest in an attempt to not betray any of his own worries about the next year. "You'll have to try a little harder to get rid of me, I hope you know." 

You did know—there was never any doubt in your mind that he loved you just as much as you loved him. Yeonjun had always kept his promises, and that year apart didn't change a thing. He made sure the two of you FaceTimed at least once a week, even during his exam seasons, and both of you always sent a goodnight, i love you text every day, even if it was the only thing you said to each other that day. You'd surprise him occasionally, making a trip up to his university to visit and spoil him all weekend, taking him wherever he wanted to eat, and he'd do the same to you on weekends he could come home. 

You had been so proud of both of you for keeping that relationship alive for the year you were apart, and Yeonjun was overjoyed when you told him you'd gotten into the university he was currently attending. It wasn't long before you were side-by-side every day once again, just like you'd been in high school, and you were still just as in love as you were back then. 

Yeonjun is remarkably smart—but you knew that already, knew it even when you offered to help him with pre-calculus back in high school. That's why it doesn't surprise you when he's able to graduate college early, on top of getting multiple grad school offers for his Master's degree. He takes you with him to tour the schools he's looking at, even though he knows you won't be there for a while—you're as much a part of his decision-making-process as he is. You'd waited for him in that interval before you'd gone to college—you can wait for him here, too.

Being with Yeonjun was like a dream, all of it. 

You suppose you had to wake up eventually.

II. FALL

It surprises you when those seeds of doubt begin to sow themselves in your mind. It's been three months since Yeonjun has left for grad school across the country, but you can count the number of times he's called to check on you on both hands. You know you aren't the same lovesick teenagers you were when he had gone off for college and left you for a year in high school, but you had thought that it wouldn't be that different.

But a good relationship is nothing without communication—you and Yeonjun haven't made it work this long without reminding each other occasionally to keep in touch. So you send him a quick text. 

< everything going okay? miss u <33

You don't have time to wait around for his reply, though—your shift at the university library starts in just under thirty minutes, so you decide you'd better go ahead and head that way.

Your coworkers are all lounging against the front desk when you clock in, clipping your nametag underneath your collar. "What's so funny?" you ask, tilting your head at their sudden giggling. 

Taehyun points towards the study corrals. "Kai's drooling." 

"I am not," Kai interrupts, frowning. "I..."

He trails off as a girl walks out of one of the study corrals, pulling her headphones out of her tote bag before placing them delicately over her ears, smiling softly as her music starts before she heads for the doors. 

You share a knowing glance with Taehyun, who smirks at you. He's been a close comfort as you've started university—you feel blessed to get along with all your coworkers, but Taehyun is someone you've meshed with practically right from the start. Your majors are in the same department, so you've had quite a bit of overlap with your required classes—you and Taehyun have already spent many a day off together back in the library, comparing notes and cramming for quizzes together. He's a much better note-taker than you, which is slightly aggravating, but your memory is better than his, so you usually remember class material better than he does. It's an unusual equivalent exchange between the two of you, but you're both pleased with how well it's worked so far. Not to mention how easy he is to spend time with—you swear your study sessions with Taehyun almost always feel like minutes instead of hours. It reminds you, sometimes, of how your first few dates with Yeonjun had gone (this, of course, is a thought you squash the moment it appears). 

"Oh, my God," Kai says, practically groaning even as you and Taehyun giggle at him. "She's so cute. What am I going to do?" 

Taehyun turns to you, smirking. "What do you think? Think he's got a chance?" 

You raise both your hands in mock self-defense. "Hey, this is all between Kai and that girl. Besides, I'd never date a coworker. Just gets too messy, you know?" 

Beomgyu pokes his head out from organizing the storage closet behind you. "Aren't you literally dating Yeonjun?"

You scoff. "I'll have you know I was dating Yeonjun long before he worked here. Or before I worked here, either." Yeonjun had only worked at the university library his first year, but he'd gotten along really well with Soobin, one of the managers, and putting in a good word for you certainly didn't hurt when you had told him you were looking for a job at the start of the school year.

Beomgyu makes a face. "Well. Shady application or not—you're reshelving the architecture textbooks upstairs since you're almost late." 

You aren't late, actually—you've clocked in five minutes early, but you don't quite have the energy for getting into a mostly-pretend argument with Beomgyu today. So you offer him a wink before grabbing a handful of architecture textbooks from the desk and heading upstairs to the art section. 

You pass several couples studying together on your way up to the third floor. Only a few are really studying, though—most have notebooks and laptops spread out, sure, but just about every other couple on a study date of their own is putting much more emphasis on the date part, rather than the study part. 

Not that you blame them at all—you and Yeonjun used to do the same thing. You remember plenty of study sessions where you'd gaze up from your computer to find Yeonjun taking a silly candid photo of you before you'd scoff, playfully begging him to delete it (which he would never do—you look too cute so focused like that, he'd say). But you always saw them later when he made them the lockscreen on his phone. 

You wonder what his lockscreen is now, you think absentmindedly as you haul several books onto one shelf. It's been months since you saw him or his phone. At that thought, you glance down at your own phone tucked into your jeans pocket to see if he's sent you any kind of response to your message earlier—but your notification screen is just as empty as it was the last time you checked. 

Those seeds of worry dig themselves deeper. 

But you tell yourself again not to worry. There's no point—you and Yeonjun have been through plenty together. You know you have no idea how busy and stressful graduate school must be, but you're sure you'll hear all about it the next time you see Yeonjun. 

It's the same thing you tell yourself when you get in your car to go back to your apartment once your shift ends, checking your phone once again to see an empty screen. 

And again tomorrow morning, when your notification screen is still blank (aside from the outdated memes Soobin is spamming your work groupchat with) on your way to class. 

There's no doubt about it now. Those seeds are planted. You're worried. 

But, as it turns out, only for a few hours—because you do finally, finally receive a reply from Yeonjun halfway through your shift at the library, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest in a way it hasn't in years when you finally see his name pop up at the top of your notifications. 

> hey! 

> can you talk soon? 

You look around the library. It's a Friday night—hardly anyone on campus is studying, but Soobin has still scheduled you, Taehyun, and Kai for tonight—you're practically over-staffed, so you're sure he won't mind if you step outside for a quick moment. 

You make your way towards the chemistry section, where Soobin is currently organizing some kind of midterms display. "Hi," you say, sweetly. 

He turns his head to face you, suspicion tugging at the corners of his eyes. "Hi," he repeats, slowly. "What's up?" 

"Mind if I step outside really quick? I have to make a call." 

Soobin narrows his eyes, and you know he's onto you. But he still gestures towards the door with his head before tapping on his wristwatch. "Just make it quick, alright?"

You nod way too quickly. "You got it," you say, beaming at him before practically dashing for the doors, pulling up Yeonjun's contact information on your phone and calling him immediately. 

He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he starts.

"Hi," you respond, trying not to sound too terribly excited to hear his voice. "How's school going?"

He hums. "It's alright, I guess. You?" God, he sounds tired—you'll have to come up with something really nice to surprise him with the next time you see him. You're not sure what his favorite restaurants are in his new city, but you can ask around with his friends—you're sure he has plenty already. He's always been that way—that charm of his had certainly worked on you too, after all.

So you make a similar hum of agreement. "It's okay so far. I really miss you, Jjun." 

There's a strange pause after those words—as if you and Yeonjun had a script for your conversations, and he had lost his. You had fully expected him to return the sentiment, just like he always had before. Instead, you hear him take a breath. "Do you have time to talk, Y/N?"

The seeds of worry are back, digging themselves deeper and insisting on growing roots within your head. "Um...sure," you manage to get out, trying to ignore the sudden panic clawing at the bottom of your stomach. 

He sighs, and there's a long space of time before he continues. "...I really wish I could see you. You deserve this in person at least, you know? But...fuck, there's no easy way to do it, I guess. I—I don't think we should do this anymore. Us, I mean—I think we need to be done." 

You aren't sure if you heard him right. There's no, no way your Yeonjun just said...that. "...What?" you say, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry—are you saying we need a break?" 

Yeonjun clears his throat. "No," he says. "Not a break. I don't think that would be fair to either of us. I think we need to be done." 

Blindsided doesn't even begin to cover how you feel. You feel like Yeonjun has just dumped a bucket of ice water over your head through the phone. "Yeonjun—you're breaking up with me?" 

He takes a moment to reply. "Yeah, Y/N. I am. And I'm so, so sorry, I—"

"Over the phone?" you sputter, indignant tears blooming at the corners of your eyes. "You're ending a four and a half year relationship...over a phone call?" 

You can't see him, but you know the wince he's making, judging by the sound of the sigh that leaves his mouth. "I told you, I would've had to fly out to come see you—and I figured you probably wouldn't have let me stay the rest of the weekend at your place afterwards," he says, laughing awkwardly. "I'm too broke as it is these days anyway." 

You just can't believe what you're hearing. This is a nightmare. It has to be. "So...what?" you choke out, brushing back tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. "Did I...do something?" 

"Oh, God, no," Yeonjun says hurriedly, and the concern in his voice is genuine. You know what that sounds like, at least. "Honestly. You didn't do anything, Y/N—it's my fault. I let this relationship grow static, and I let myself fall into a routine—and I just sort of stopped feeling the way I had before. I should have done this before, but I was too much of a coward, and I'm so, so sorry—I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I hope you can forgive me. Maybe we can be friends, one day." 

A long time passes before you answer. "One day," you repeat. "But not now." 

He lets out a short laugh. "I didn't think you'd want to be friends now." 

"I...fuck, Yeonjun," you say, nervous and shocked laughter escaping your throat. "I don't want this to be over at all. There's...there's no way this just came out of nowhere." 

He hums apprehensively. "I don't know what else I can say. It's the truth—I just let myself become bored with the relationship, and that's my fault. I should have tried harder a long time ago, and for that, I...I really am sorry." 

"I—I guess I just don't see why it isn't too late to try now," you stammer. "Why?"

"...Y/N, I don't want to try now, anymore," he whispers, and it's only then that you really get what he's been trying to tell you all along. He's done with you—whatever he felt for you all those years ago when you whispered your mutual confessions in that quiet art gallery, is gone. 

Yeonjun does not love you anymore. How you feel about him doesn't matter. 

It takes several uncomfortable beats of silence before you speak again. "Okay," you say, voice shaking. "Okay. I get it. G...goodbye, Yeonjun." 

He lets out a shaky sigh of his own. "Goodbye, Y/N. I'm so—"

But you hang up before he can say anything else. You don't want to hear another word from him now. You're trembling as you end the call, sliding your phone back into your back pocket. You're going home—there's no fucking way you can make it through the rest of your shift after this. You walk back inside as calmly as you can, sliding your nametag off your collar and placing it on the desk. 

Taehyun hasn't quite turned around to see you when you do so. "Oh, Y/N, you won't believe what Kai just sent—huh?" He frowns, finally noticing your nametag on the front counter. 

"Can you, um...can you tell Soobin when he gets back that I'm going home? I'll come early on Saturday, I'll do whatever he needs me to do to make up for this time, but I really need to go home." You absolutely cannot, under any circumstance, let them see you like this—especially not Taehyun, your favorite coworker. You don't think he'd ever let you hear the end of it. 

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you say, way, way too quickly to be nothing. "I'm sick. I...I-I'll see you guys on Saturday, okay?" You turn around and walk towards the library doors as fast as you can, practically making a beeline for the doors—but you aren't fast enough to not hear the familiar sound of Taehyun unclipping his own nametag and slamming it on the desk behind you. 

"Kai, tell Soobin I'm feeling sick, too. I'll call Beomgyu to come cover for me for the rest of this shift." 

"You...what?" Kai practically splutters, leaning over the front counter to call after the both of you. "What the hell's wrong with you two?" 

You have to make it to the car. You can have the breakdown you so desperately need in there, but you are not going to sob your eyes out right outside the university library. 

Taehyun, however, apparently isn't going to let you do either. "Y/N," he says behind you once the two of you are outside, grabbing hold of your bicep. "What's going on? What's wrong? Please—just talk to me."

You shake your head. "Taehyun, please, I just need to go home. I'm going to have a fucking meltdown right on the street if you don't at least let me get to my car," you sputter, voice trembling as you try to keep the tears at bay. 

But Taehyun shakes his head too. "No. We can go in my car. You said you parked in the guest lot today because you were almost late. Remember?"

You do remember—and at this point, you don't care enough to argue with him. So you nod in agreement, following him into the lot in a walk that has to be the longest minute and a half of your life. Once you're in Taehyun's car, though, shutting the passenger door behind you, you can't fight the tears prickling at your eyes anymore. 

"Hey—hey, talk to me, Y/N. Please. What's going on?" 

You shake your head, burying your head in your hands to try to muffle your sobs. "He broke up with me, Tae," you manage to choke out, even though the verbal confirmation of what just happened just makes you cry harder. 

"He—what? The fuck? Yeonjun?" 

"Who else?" you snap back, voice shaking. "He said we've...grown apart since he moved away. That he doesn't love me anymore. But I still love him, Taehyun," you sniff, tears tracking down your face and slipping into your open mouth in what must be an absolute mess to behold. "What am I supposed to do?"

If Taehyun thinks you look a mess, though, he doesn't tell you. "Fuck...Y/N, I'm so, so sorry," he starts, gently. "I know that doesn't mean anything—but I really am."

You shake your head. "No. It does mean something." 

He gestures towards his backseat. "If you want to beat up my backseats, go for it. I've done that after a few shitty shifts before—it can be pretty cathartic." 

But you just shake your head again, sniffling. "I just want to go home, Taehyun. Please." 

He just nods, turning the keys in the ignition before reaching into the center console in his car to grab an envelope of tissues, taking several and handing them to you. "In case you need these." 

You sniff again. "Thank you," you say, even though you know you're nowhere near done crying about this. 

You don't live too far from the university, so Taehyun's pulling into the parking lot of your apartment building before you know it. Your apartment is only on the second floor, and there's a set of stairs outside, so Taehyun is able to park almost right below your apartment. He turns to face you again. "This is you, right?" 

You nod. "Yes. Thank you, Tae." 

He glances for a moment at your door before looking back at you, worry etched on his features. "You want some time to yourself? I can come back tomorrow if you want me to check on you." 

Normally, you think, you'd say yes. You'd want to go finish crying by yourself and getting it all out of your system right before you force yourself to fall asleep—but you think about your apartment. You think about the hoodies in your closet, the pictures adorning your shelves, the stuffed animals on your bed—Yeonjun is everywhere in your apartment. You can't face these remainders of him alone.

So you shake your head. "No, I...um, can you come inside, please? You don't have to stay, I just don't know if I can—"

But Taehyun doesn't let you finish, turning off the car's ignition and opening his door, immediately walking around to open yours. Normally, you'd make some quip here about chivalry not being dead, but you can't find the energy within yourself to make anything of the sort. 

You make your way up the stairs before unlocking your door and making your way to your bedroom, trying to avoid the onslaught of photos of you and Yeonjun in the living room before collapsing onto your bed, covering your face in your pillows and sobbing the way you wanted to earlier. You hardly even notice Taehyun beside you, rubbing small circles on your back while you soak the pillowcase below you, chest heaving with hiccups in between sobs. 

You don't turn around to face him until you feel like you've emptied every tear in your eyes, now red and puffy as you catch your breath. 

Taehyun frowns at the state of you, finally moving his hand away from the small of your back. "Where are your washcloths?" he asks. 

What? "Um...o-on the rack beside the shower," you say, gesturing towards the bathroom in the hallway. 

You're perplexed when he leaves, even more so when you hear the sound of the sink running, but he's back in an instant with a wet cloth, sitting back down beside you on your bed. He hesitates for an instant. "For your cheeks," he says, tapping his own. "It'll feel better." 

Oh. "Thanks," you say, somewhat lamely, before taking the washcloth from his hands. It's warm, you realize, and he's right—it does feel nice on your tear-stained cheeks, especially under your now-puffy eyes—a gentle contrast to the sobs that had racked your entire body minutes ago. 

You set the washcloth down, looking back up at Taehyun, who offers you a reassuring smile—one you've seen plenty of times at the library, when one of you has messed up on organizing a section and had to endure a lecture from Soobin. It's not a bad expression to be on the receiving end of. "Come here," he says, opening his arms, and you let him pull you into his chest without a second thought. It's the first time you've hugged Taehyun, you think absentmindedly—but you suppose that doesn't matter. You're grateful to have him here with you now—you can't imagine how much worse you'd feel alone in your room now. 

He lets you hold onto him for as long as you need, only pulling away when you do. "Did you eat before work?" he asks softly. 

You shake your head. You'd planned on making something from your pantry after your shift, but the thought of getting up and being productive right now feels like a Herculean task. 

Taehyun must be able to see the exhaustion on your face, because he just nods. "That's okay," he says. "I'll order in." 

And he does. You spend the rest of the evening eating takeout from the Thai place down the street on your bed with Taehyun, who stays beside you and makes sure you have a nearly-full glass on your nightstand at all times, to make up for how you'd practically dehydrated yourself sobbing. And you do cry again in the middle of eating dinner, but Taehyun doesn't flinch—he just nestles you in his sturdy arms again until you don't have any tears left to cry. 

He does make a comment about leaving if you'd prefer sometime past midnight, but one look from you causes the rest of the sentence to die on his tongue, and he doesn't say another word about it. 

You wake up in the morning just before noon, and you feel only a single instant pang of panic before you see Taehyun's outstretched limbs on the couch in the living room, chest rising and falling evenly in sleep. You aren't sure when he got up to let you sleep on your own—you hardly even remember falling asleep, but the sight of him causes your heartbeat to even back out for a moment. 

That doesn't last long, though—it's only an instant before your barely-awake mind remembers what had caused him to spend the night in the first place, and you immediately feel that now-familiar twinge of sorrow in your chest. 

And it doesn't go away—no, that feeling hangs heavy in your chest. You know, then and there, that it's going to be a weight you'll carry around for a long time. 

III. WINTER.

You're right on all accounts. 

You never flat out tell the rest of your coworkers what happened between you and Yeonjun, but they must be able to read between the lines—all of them tiptoe around you for weeks. Even Soobin never teases you at work anymore, which you almost miss. You aren't a piece of glass, after all—but with the way that everyone treats you at work, you'd think you were. 

But maybe there's some truth to their treatment. Not a day goes by that you don't think about Yeonjun's words—that he'd basically just gotten bored with you. You know he'd said you hadn't done anything, but you had to have done something for that to occur, right? It didn't make any sense otherwise. 

You are proud of yourself when your track record for "crying over Yeonjun" goes from every day to once a week, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. Just like the love you'd known from him had been something beautiful like you'd never experienced, you've never known anything as painful as this.

So much of your identity before had been being Yeonjun's partner. For Christ's sake, he was the whole reason you'd been able to get this job at the library in the first place—and now you have to distance yourself from that. You have to. You don't have another choice.

At one point, Beomgyu does suggest going out for drinks after work with Soobin. "Everyone's going," he adds gently, as if that will somehow be the thing to convince you to pull yourself out of your mental wallowing. "Won't be as fun without you, though." 

You force a smile across your lips. You do still remember how to do that, right? Smile? "I, um...I'll have to catch you guys next time. I'm busy that night." 

Beomgyu's eyes narrow. "I haven't told you what day we're going out yet, Y/N." 

You wince. "Beomgyu, I—I'm sorry. I really appreciate you trying, but I just don't think I'm there yet. I'm sorry."

He rolls his eyes a little at that. "I think this is exactly what you need right now, personally. We'll make sure you have fun, I promise. So much fun that you won't even think about old what's-his-name the entire night." 

You know good and well that Beomgyu remembers Yeonjun's name, and that he's practically putting on a show to convince you to go get drunk with him and Soobin and God knows who else—but you can't. Not yet. So you turn him down again, and this time he finally relents, taking the hint and leaving to sort through the returned books bin. Going out and getting drunk enough to forget Yeonjun probably is what you need right now—but you know you aren't there yet (Even admitting the 'yet'—the knowledge that you eventually will be at that point, whether you like it or not—is painful). Wanting to forget Yeonjun is accepting that what the two of you had is over, and truth be told, you aren't ready to do that. You're fully in denial—and you know it. 

But that doesn't mean you're in the right state of mind to do anything about it. For God's sake, you haven't even been able to go through the photo album of you and Yeonjun on your phone yet and delete a single photo. The scraps of sanity that still call out to you occasionally within your mind tell you that you need to delete those photos of the two of you, that seeing them later will just make you feel worse—but you can't. Any act of cementing the end of the relationship is still just nothing short of unthinkable to you. 

You're very much a prisoner of your own mind for the rest of the semester, whether or not you're willing to admit it, as you continue replaying Yeonjun's last words to you in your head, over and over. And over. And over. And over again. It's unhealthy—you know that. But you don't stop. You can't stop thinking about what you should have done differently to prevent this. Sure, he'd said you hadn't done anything, but that must have been a polite lie. Something must have happened. Had you been overbearing? Annoying? Had you changed, somehow? Had he? 

Your friends and coworkers all tread lightly around you for the first month or so after the breakup, checking on you occasionally and reminding you that everything will be alright eventually (a lie, you know). Beomgyu gives you the notes from your morning class whenever you skip. Kai covers for you when you call out of work. Soobin looks the other way when you take fifteen minute bathroom breaks (which usually end up with you crying in the stall) and doesn't say a word when you come back, eyes puffier than before. 

But that's exhausting to keep up with—you know that. Everyone becomes less forgiving around the middle of the semester—you still haven't gotten over that guy? What's wrong with you? You're still missing class and falling behind on assignments? Why can't you get a grip? No one says this out loud to you, of course, but you can pick up on the subtext—the implications between a shared glance between Beomgyu and Kai at work when you're almost late, between your friends when you tell them you have to finish an essay that was due yesterday—looks that pierce like a dagger to your stomach. Everyone is sick and tired of you.

Well—almost everyone. Kang Taehyun is a different story altogether. 

You fully expected him to behave like everyone else—why wouldn't he? The two of you were friends, and good friends, at that, before your life as you'd known it had imploded in on itself, but you wouldn't have considered him to be a best friend by any means. Maybe you had missed some kind of memo, though—because if the way he's treated you since Yeonjun broke up with you is any indicator, his feelings towards your friendship are not at all what you'd thought they were. 

Not a day goes by that you don't eat at least two meals a day, and that's because Taehyun is checking on you daily to make sure you've eaten. More than once, he's driven over to your house with food from his pantry to ensure there is something in your apartment to eat. He helps you stay on top of your schoolwork, too—hell, the only reason you even remember to do that essay at all is because Taehyun reminds you. And yet, these reminders never feel like a scolding, or like he's judging or chastising you—rather, it just feels like he's looking out for you. He's the only person looking out for you, you think—maybe even more so than yourself. 

Which is why it surprises you, one cold, melancholy November evening as the two of you walk home from class, when Taehyun suggests talking to Yeonjun again. 

Your eyes widen. "What?" 

Taehyun nods, shifting his shoulders as he adjusts his backpack. "Sure. I...I think it would be good for you to get more closure from the whole thing. That's what's keeping you so upset, isn't it? That you don't really get why he did it?" 

You suppose there's an element of truth to that. You certainly don't understand Yeonjun's actions—but the truth of the matter is that you aren't ready to let him go. You weren't three months ago when he called you, and you still aren't now. The ache in your chest that you've felt for so long hasn't subsided in the least—like a knife that only digs deeper every time you remember it's there. 

But you nod anyway. "Yeah, I...I guess that's part of it. But—I can't just text him, Taehyun. What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Hi Yeonjun! Miss you, hope you haven't been feeling the same soul-crushing loneliness that I have for the past three months?'"

Taehyun winces at that before turning to face forward again, gazing at the sidewalk ahead of you with a sigh. "Maybe not quite like that. But...I don't know. He said he wanted to be friends, right? I don't see why you couldn't at least try."

But you don't want to be friends with Yeonjun—that's been the problem. Not just friends. You want to let yourself love him again, to feel that kind of tenderness and contentment and perfect warmth like you've never felt from another person before. 

But that clearly is no longer an option on the table for you. What Taehyun is suggesting, however, might be. Maybe he's right. Something would be better than nothing with Yeonjun. Wouldn't it? 

This conversation is how you find yourself later that night with your phone on your bed in front of you, fingers shaking slightly over the keypad from the nervous weight you feel at the bottom of your stomach. You've already typed out the entire message. You should just send it. 

< hey, did you mean what you said about being friends? 

God, why are you so nervous? It's not like you don't know the man—for Christ's sake, you spent over four years of your life convinced that you knew just about everything there was to know about Yeonjun. You knew about his favorite flowers, the piercings he wanted to get, how comically tremendous his appetite could sometimes be and how he'd always compliment your cooking, regardless of how you felt about it—but maybe none of that had mattered. You hadn't known that he'd felt bored with the relationship. You'd let that knowledge slip past you, somehow. 

You press send on the message before you can talk yourself out of it, turning your phone over and stepping into the bathroom to take a shower, hoping you can think about something, anything else to hide the bubbles of anxiety floating upwards into your chest at the thought that Yeonjun may have responded already. 

You practically leap out of the shower when you're finished, hair still dripping beads of water down your back as you wrap a towel around yourself, making your way back into your bedroom and grabbing for your phone. 

Your eyes widen. 

> yeah, i did. 

> would you be okay with that? 

The anxiety within your chest dissipates like hot water under the sun, if only for a moment. Your Yeonjun, and the effect he still has on you. 

< yeah, i would. 

His reply comes only a few minutes later. 

> okay. cool :) 

> i actually thought about sending this to you the other day. reminded me of you

[link]

Attached is a link to a YouTube video—a piano rendition of a song you'd listened to all the time (and probably forced Yeonjun to listen to in the process) when you'd first begun dating. It sounds beautiful on piano, the melody a bright cascade of hopeful and energetic sounding chords, and you feel your chest tighten with warmth as the video keeps playing. 

It had made him think of you. 

The warmth you'd felt in your chest before suddenly shifts to a suffocating cold. This is probably a bad idea. Yeonjun saying he wants to be friends probably means just that—that he wants to be friends. Nothing else. You, of course, don't feel that way at all, if the way your heart had soared when you saw his message is any indicator. You're just going to get attached again to someone you know doesn't feel the same way about you. You're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak—part of you knows that. 

But you don't stop yourself from playing the video again, butterflies rushing through your stomach. 

~~~

The weeks leading up to winter break are infinitely better than the beginning of the semester. You're comfortably caught up and staying on top of all your assignments. When Soobin assigns you more hours at the library, you don't utter a word of protest. One of your professors even comments on how much better you've done on this last essay than your first of the semester. 

Taehyun seems pleased to see you in better spirits too. He still checks on you just about every day, but there seems to be less urgency in his messages. He's not as concerned as he was a few weeks ago, and you almost feel a twinge of...something at that thought, not quite regret but not quite disappointment, either—but you brush it away just as quickly. 

Thoughts like those are easy to push away now that you're speaking to Yeonjun again. 

If it was one of your other friends in your situation, you think, you'd probably be concerned with how fast they turned around on their ex-boyfriend, going from being completely, utterly heartbroken to gushing over a cute TikTok he'd sent—but you ignore those thoughts when they come, too. Maybe you are making a bad decision by trying to be friends with Yeonjun, but you can't find it in yourself to care enough to stop. This momentary happiness is worlds away from the unbearable heartbreak you'd felt before, even if it is likely temporary. Besides, there haven't been any repercussions of this choice yet, anyway. 

Yet being the key word. 

A few days before fall break, Soobin approaches you, Taehyun, and Kai in the middle of your shared shift, the three of you definitely doing the work he'd assigned to you and definitely not talking behind the counter about a movie you're making plans to go see after your shifts end. 

Soobin clears his throat, and the three of you jump, turning to face him. He lets out a sigh. "Are all three of you going home for break?" 

You all shake your heads no. 

He perks up a bit at that. "Oh. Okay. Good! The library isn't going to be open all week, but we're still doing limited hours. Would any of you be open to working over the break? It'll be time-and-a-half pay."

Kai suddenly grabs for his phone in his back pocket, even though you don't think you heard it buzz. "Huh—look at that. My mom just texted and said she actually does want me to come home for the break now. Sorry!" 

Soobin makes an exasperated frown, but he doesn't say anything else to Kai, turning to you instead. "Y/N?"

You shrug. "Sure, I can work. I'll be here anyway." 

Taehyun suddenly shifts, standing up a little taller beside you. "Me too. I don't mind." 

Soobin nods. "Okay, great. Thanks, you guys. I'll be here the first day, but the other four days it'll be just you two here. So..." he takes in a slow breath. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay?" 

You can practically feel Taehyun fighting back a grin beside you out of the corner of your eye, and you have to bite your tongue to keep a laugh of your own from escaping you at Soobin's remark. "Okay, boss," you say, bringing a hand to your forehead in an overly enthusiastic salute. "We won't." 

Taehyun and Kai both snort at your words, but Soobin just crosses his arms. "I mean it. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay? Or...anything I wouldn't let either of you do. You know what I mean." He narrows his eyes. 

But you just laugh. "I promise, Soobin. We'll be fine. It's just limited hours, like you said, right? And it'll be over the break. We'll probably be the only ones in the library the whole week. What could go wrong?" 

His frown only deepens at that. "...I don't even think I want to imagine that," he says before walking away, and the three of you only let out giggles once he's out of earshot. Truthfully, as much as you enjoy teasing Soobin with your other coworkers, you really don't think working over the break will be bad at all. 

And in truth, it isn't the working part that ends up being the problem. It's what happens when you're at work. 

To absolutely no one's surprise, the library is completely, utterly dead over the break. You can count on both hands the number of people that walk in for the first three days as you and Taehyun stand behind the counter, chatting quietly until you run out of things to talk about. By noon on Thursday, the two of you are the only people in the library, scrolling on your phones aimlessly with your shoes propped up against the help desk as the soft scratch of classical music plays over the speakers above you. 

You smile when you see you've gotten a message from Yeonjun, opening your messages to see what he's sent now. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Taehyun giving you a knowing smirk in response to the grin tugging at the corners of your mouth—but you can't hide it. You wouldn't dare, you think. 

It's a video of Yeonjun talking, telling you about a baby that kept waving to him on the plane back from his university. His fall break is the same week as yours, so he's going home today to spend the rest of the weekend with his family. 

You take a quick response video, teasing him about his and the baby's apparent shared brain cells before going back to your mindless scrolling. 

Or—you try to, at least. The moment your Instagram feed refreshes, you find yourself staring, unblinking at the first post on your page. 

It's from Yeonjun's account. It's a picture of him at the airport. And he isn't alone. Standing beside him, arms wrapped around his middle with his around their neck, eyes closed and lips turned upward in a practically radiant smile, is a girl. She looks like she's been caught off guard by Yeonjun, but she's not disappointed about it by any means, if the candid joy radiating from her expression is anything to go by. You glance down at his caption. 

thankful for you. 

There's only one comment so far, which you're assuming is from her. 

SO happy to spend this week with u <3

He might as well have put up a neon sign, you think. You know you can't know for sure, but you almost feel like this was directed at you—the caption, at the very least. Yeonjun has a girlfriend. He's moved on from you, in every sense of the phrase. 

Taehyun must have noticed your suddenly expressionless face, because you see him frown across from you out of the corner of your eye. "Everything alright over there?" 

You extend your arm towards him, showing him your phone screen wordlessly. His eyes widen. "Is that...no fucking way. He has a girlfriend?" 

You nod, that all-too-familiar lump in your throat making its presence known once again. "Yeah," you reply, avoiding his stunned gaze. "I guess so." 

Taehyun doesn't look away from you, even after you draw your arm back into your lap. "Y/N," he starts, quietly. Speaking to you the way you'd speak to a wounded animal—gently, but as if you could practically explode at any moment. It almost makes you feel worse. "Are you..." he stops, trailing off before he can even finish the thought before shaking his head. "Do you want to take a break for a minute?" He gestures with his head towards the punch clock on the wall behind the two of you. 

But you shake your head. "No, I...I don't think so," you say. As strange as it seems, you don't feel nearly as upset as you did when Yeonjun had called to break up with you. Seeing that he's already moved on feels like ripping a metaphorical band-aid off. In a way, you sort of needed to see that he's moved on—that your hopes that the two of you could get back together, somehow, were foolish. Maybe this neon sign of an Instagram post is exactly what you needed. 

Taehyun, however, doesn't seem entirely convinced, frown only deepening at your words. "Are you sure? We can get out of here, you know. It's just us in here right now." 

You shake your head again. "No. We've still got nearly another hour—I don't think Soobin would be very happy if he found out we closed the library early just because I flipped out over Yeonjun again," you say, laughing weakly. 

He snaps his fingers at you. "So you admit it! You are flipping out!" 

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest. "That is not what I—"

But Taehyun is already taking off his nametag, placing it under the counter and grabbing the keys for the front door. He turns around once he's within a few feet of the front door, gazing at you expectantly. "Well? Come on." 

You gesture with your arm at the library before you. "Taehyun, you've got to be joking. We cannot just get up and leave. What if someone needs to come study?" 

He raises an eyebrow at you. "You think someone's going to need to come study? Over fall break? The day of the holiday? Not a chance."

"How are we going to punch out then, smart guy?" you ask indignantly. 

But Taehyun just shrugs. "I'll just tell Soobin tomorrow that we both forgot, and he'll have to enter our punch-out times manually. Shouldn't be a big deal." 

But you narrow your eyes at him. "'Shouldn't be a big deal?' You seriously think Soobin won't find it a bit suspicious that we both just happened to forget to punch out as we were leaving?" 

"Not really. Look..." he says, starting softer this time. "If something happens, I'll take the fall for it. Alright? You need to get out of here." 

You take another glance at the empty, quiet library. It's only an hour early. Maybe Soobin won't find out, somehow, by some miraculous stroke of luck that you know you don't exactly tend to have—but that lump in your throat hasn't gone away since you saw the picture of Yeonjun. So you nod. "Okay," you say, pulling your nametag off and sliding it under the desk beside Taehyun's, an action that wins you a growing smile on the man's face. "Let's get out of here, then." 

You follow him out of the library, watching him lock the door and swallowing the momentary twinge of guilt at his actions. 

Taehyun seems to read your mind, though. He looks up at you once the doors are locked. "Don't chicken out on me now. Okay? I promise. We'll be okay." 

You nod wordlessly. "Let's just get out of here, then." 

He smiles at you—that big ear-to-ear grin that causes nearly all of your worries to dissipate at just the sight. "That's the spirit. Come on. Are you up for going for a drive?" 

"Sure," you say, nodding. Anywhere is better than being here, slowly falling into the trap of your own thoughts that you thought you'd narrowly escaped a month ago. 

So you get in Taehyun's car once again, gazing out the window at the sun slowly lowering against the horizon, oranges and pinks spreading across the sky as if they were deliberate brush strokes from some invisible hands—just as beautiful as those paintings you and Yeonjun had gazed at that day you both whispered your mutual confessions to each other. 

You shove that thought away just as Taehyun parks the car, and you look out the windshield to see where you are. You're at the top of a tall hill, trees around you on all sides as you gaze down at the college town before you. It looks so small from this distance, you think. 

"I've never been here before," you say, turning to look at Taehyun. "I didn't even know this place existed." 

He nods, still looking at the city below the two of you. "Beomgyu took me here once after a really bad shift. Got yelled at by some grad student for not having an extra copy of a textbook for them to loan when they had an exam tomorrow—you know the drill. It's a good spot to clear your head, I think."

You find that you'd have to agree the longer you stare down at the city, thinking about the perspective it affords you. 

"We don't live in a huge college town, compared to some others, but there's still so, so many people down there. You know?" Taehyun says, as if he's reading your thoughts. Again. How is he so good at that? "I don't want you to ever think one person is the only person you could ever be with. That he's the only chance you'll ever get at love—that just can't be possible." 

You know what he means. You even think it's true—you know it is, logically. But that doesn't mean this lingering heartbreak aching in your chest, in your lungs, in your veins, hurts any less. "Damn you, Kang Taehyun," you say quietly. "You make too much sense." 

He laughs at that, finally tearing his gaze away from the city before him and turning to face you. 

But you aren't finished, taking a deep breath before you continue. "I should've never let myself care about someone this much. This—this whole thing," you say, waving your arm in front of you in a vague gesture, "is just so stupid."

He frowns at that. "No," Taehyun says, shaking his head. "This isn't stupid. You're not stupid." 

You shake your head right back. "I let being Yeonjun's partner be my most important trait. It was all I cared about—he was all I cared about. I shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have put him on such a pedestal like that." 

Taehyun mulls your words over for a moment. "Maybe," he says. "But I don't think you should be mad at yourself for loving him. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you've learned and grown through the relationship—you'll probably be a better partner in the next one you're in, too." 

That thought still stings—of another relationship, of giving up completely on Yeonjun. Even though he's obviously given up on you. "I just don't know what I did wrong. I have to have done something—a relationship doesn't just end like that. Does it?" Yeonjun had been so many of your firsts—and now, he was the first person to ever break up with you. You'd always been the one in charge of that in the brief relationships you'd had before him, the ones that hadn't left nearly the kind of impact Yeonjun had had on you. 

Taehyun shrugs lightly. "I don't have that much experience, but I can tell you that sometimes that is exactly what happens. People really can fall out of love—of course, that's because of their own feelings. Not usually anything to do with the other person," he adds quickly. "If anything, it says how much more equipped you are to handle a long-term, long-distance relationship than he is. You're the mature one. He's not." 

"Clearly not," you scoff. "I'm still the one crying over him, and he's already moved on. Sounds like he's more mature than I am." 

"That I disagree with," Taehyun counters immediately. "The fact that it's still upsetting you means that the relationship meant something different to you than it did to him—he must not have taken it as seriously as you. And that's his fault." 

You're quiet for a moment after that. The sun has almost completely set now, dusk enveloping the college town before you as the city lights begin to twinkle in the dark. But you still find yourself ruminating. The hollowness you feel now is almost scarier than the heartbreak—you aren't even that sad anymore. Just empty. And you tell Taehyun this. "It still scares me—feeling like I don't know who I am now. I feel like I built up an entire imaginary future with him—and now I don't know what to expect of anything anymore." 

Taehyun takes a breath as he nods. "I know," he says gently. "But the future is always like that. You know? Nothing's ever guaranteed, no matter how much we cling to the things we care about. Still—I want you to know that you're so, so much more than being someone's partner. I think you're incredibly clever, and funny, and smart, and beautiful—don't you dare look at me like that, Y/N," he says, only somewhat teasingly as you raise your eyebrows at that last addition. "I'm serious. It's okay to care about someone, but I want you to know that you are still worth so, so much as your own person. Regardless of whether you're with someone or not."

You wish you had better words to say to Taehyun—poetic, soft words to thank him in the same way that he's comforting you. Instead, you let the silence speak for you, losing yourself to the soft hum of Taehyun's radio and the glittering stars that have finally come out in the sky. It's a comfortable silence, though—and you feel those knots of worry and heartbreak at the pit of your stomach slowly start to untangle themselves. Just a little—but they do nonetheless. 

It's long past nightfall when Taehyun finally drives you home, telling you goodnight and looking like there's more that he wants to say, even as he drives away—but you find yourself content in the moment anyway, even when you get ready for bed and slip under your covers.

But that doesn't mean the pain has gone away entirely. 

Taehyun had told you to call him if you started feeling down about the whole situation, but when you wake up in the morning and feel that familiar heavy sorrow in your chest, you don't tell Taehyun a thing. Instead, you let yourself lie on your side and bring your knees up to your chest and weep, burying your face in the pillowcase until it's practically soaked through from your tears. You let yourself cry for yourself—for the version of you who has died, for the Yeonjun you had loved for so long and with such intensity, and for you now who will never again be the person you were before. 

It would be different if the two of you had ended things dramatically, you think—if Yeonjun had cheated on you, or if you had been an unsupportive partner—but none of those things happened. It just ended. And he has already moved on, the way you imagine a normal person does. 

Somehow, you think, that still makes it worse. 

But you think back on what Taehyun had said to you last night, even as you brush away the tears staining your cheeks. Choi Yeonjun is not the only person in the world—it doesn't make sense to think of him as the only person who could ever love you. Yes, your relationship coming to an end still hurts like nothing you've ever experienced before—but already you can feel that ache subsiding, even if those moments are few and far between. Yeonjun had fully severed what was left of the two of you, but it now feels to you like it was necessary. Like it was something you needed—the beginning of a new path for you. 

~~~

The rest of the semester goes by in a blur after fall break. You're so caught up in the mess of finals and work that you barely have time to think about anything else, let alone what's left of your feelings towards Yeonjun. 

If Soobin knows about you and Taehyun closing early and conveniently forgetting to punch out, he never says a word—but you do work considerably more hours than usual in the weeks leading up to your final exams. Soobin says it's the busiest time of the year for the library, so he needs all hands on deck to help all the students coming in and out. Which you do believe—but you still have a sneaky feeling that you and Taehyun are working more than Beomgyu and Kai. 

You wonder if your professors are all in some kind of secret conspiracy to make their students suffer as much as possible, since all five of your exams are stacked over the course of three days. You survive, even after pulling an all-nighter to prepare, which does mean that you should be able to relax at the end of the week while your other coworkers are still cramming. On Friday, though Beomgyu and Kai still have one last final, which is why you and Taehyun both find yourselves working a double to cover for them while they take their exams. It's a long shift, full of snappy students and an exhausted Soobin—by the time 10 p.m. finally rolls around, you feel yourself on the verge of collapsing as you clock out with Taehyun. 

Your favorite coworker raises an eyebrow at your exhausted state. "You alright?" he asks, tapping at his shirt collar before extending a hand to you. 

Your nametag. Christ, you'd almost forgotten. You sigh, nodding as you slip your nametag off of your shirt before placing it in Taehyun's waiting palm, who then moves to slide it under the front counter with his and your other coworkers' tags. "You mean you don't feel like you're about to pass out after that? I thought today would never end."

He laughs a little as the two of you walk towards the front door. "Sure I do. But you saw what Kai sent in the work chat, right? He and Beomgyu are going out later tonight now that they're done with finals. Of course, I'm not sure if that means they feel like they did good or bad, to be honest—but I guess we'll know when we get there. I told them I'd meet them once we were done with work."

You laugh too, pulling your car keys out of your pocket now that you're only a few feet from your respective vehicles. "Yeah, I saw it. But you guys can go ahead—I think I need to turn in early tonight. I'll see you all after the break, okay?" 

The look on Taehyun's face fades a little, and he stops walking right in front of your cars. "Are you sure? It might be fun—you know how funny Beomgyu gets." 

You stop walking too, standing beside him. The thought of tipsy Beomgyu does bring back fond memories of work parties past—the occasion where he tried to convince everyone to jump into a pool, fully clothed, at the house party where you all barely knew the owner was a particularly fun one—but you don't feel up for it tonight. So you shake your head. "No—I'm too tired, Taehyun. But you all have fun, seriously. Just be safe, alright?" You wink at him teasingly. 

But he doesn't return the gesture. Rather, an unusual look washes over his face—an expression of determination that you aren't sure you've ever seen from him before. "You're going home tomorrow, right?" he asks suddenly. 

You nod. "Yeah, I'm spending the break with my parents. Why?" 

Taehyun visibly swallows before he opens his mouth again to speak. You feel a sudden uneasiness develop in the pit of your stomach just before you hear him say "I'm telling you now, then. I like you, Y/N." Suddenly. Just the way Yeonjun had in that art museum all those years ago. 

The two of you are outside, but you suddenly feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the parking lot you're standing in. You blink. "What?" 

He nods, gaze unwavering from yours. "I like you." 

He's joking. He has to be. Either that, or you really did pass out in the library earlier, and this is all some kind of dream. "...You like me," you repeat, slowly. A short laugh escapes you before you can stop yourself. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said," he says. "I know this is a pretty terrible time to tell you this, but—"

"Yes," you say, practically unable to believe what you're hearing. "Yes, Taehyun, this is a terrible time to tell me—God, why would you tell me this?" 

"Because it's true," he replies almost instantly. "And I'm not telling you because I want you to say the same thing. You don't have to say anything, actually, I...I just wanted you to know." 

Your heart sinks to your chest at that. "So, you...you'd confess to someone who you know won't reciprocate? Why?" 

Taehyun shakes his head. "I'm not telling you because I want anything to happen. Not right now, anyway—I'm not that stupid. I think." He tries to laugh, but the sound doesn't quite come out right. "I just want you to know, in case you ever feel the same way." 

In case you ever feel the same way. He doesn't think you like him back. Hell—do you? The thought of romance has been so banned from your mind for the last several months that you haven't even entertained the notion, whether it was Taehyun or anyone else in the world—but you think about that. You think about the way those feelings of tight anxiety in your chest loosen when you see that you're scheduled to work with him, how your heart beats faster when you get a notification on your phone from him—not to mention that evening you'd spent in his car on the hilltop overlooking the city. Those feelings of warmth that ignite within you every time you'd looked over at him that night probably were feelings of attraction. You just haven't been able to even entertain this thought, of liking someone else, in ages. You almost can't ever remember when—and that frightens you. "I...I think I do feel that way, though," you say. "I care about you, Taehyun. So, so much. You've been the only person I could depend on for the last three months, but...but I think you deserve better than this. God, you should know better than anyone that I'm nowhere near being over Yeonjun. That I'm in no state to even think about dating someone right now." You laugh, tone dripping with self-deprecation. "I'm a mess. I barely even remember what those feelings are even like. You have to know that anything I do in this mental state now would just be a rebound, even if I didn't want it to be, and I...I don't want to do that to you." 

Taehyun nods quickly, taking a step closer. "You're not a mess. But I do know how you feel—which is why I wanted to tell you. You don't have to do anything about it now if you don't want to," he says again. "I just wanted you to know." 

You shake your head, surprised to feel sudden tears of frustration brimming at the corners of your eyes. "God...Taehyun, please don't do this to me," you whisper, holding back a sniff. He's close enough to you that he can hear, even at this volume. "I don't want to lose you too." Things will never be the same between the two of you—you know this as well as you know your own name. No matter how much the two of you try to awkwardly dance around each other from now on, you'll never forget that you had this conversation. You can never go back to just being friends. 

But Taehyun shakes his head fervently. "You won't lose me," he says, voice unwavering before he makes a slight move to reach for your hand out of instinct before stopping himself. "Not if you don't want to. I'll stick around for as long as you want me to." 

You grab his hand anyway, even as he looks up at you in shock. "So...what? You'd wait for me?" you say, laughing quietly. "I can't ask that of you. That isn't fair to you." 

He just shakes his head again. "If you want me to, I will. I'll wait as long as you need me to—I'm telling you, I don't mind."

You scoff a little at that before you can stop yourself. "You say that now, but I...I have no idea when I'll feel ready to think about being with anyone again. I'm sorry, Taehyun—but I don't know how long this could take. You know? I mean, I'd hope it wouldn't be years," you say, laughing hollowly, "but I just have no idea. And I just don't understand why you would do this—wait for me. I mean...look at you," you say, laughing nervously as you gesture vaguely towards his figure. You haven't thought about him in that way before—or maybe you haven't let yourself think of him in that way, you realize now—but you can't ignore the sharp lines of his jaw, the clearly defined strength beneath his sweater—Taehyun is beautiful. There could never be any denying it. "You're perfect, Taehyun. You could have anyone you wanted—certainly someone less fucked up than me. Someone you wouldn't have to wait to be with, I—"

But he just shakes his head. "I most certainly am not perfect—but I just want to see you happy," he replies, voice as calm and steady as ever. You wonder if this is how he imagined this conversation going. "Whether that's with me, or someone else, or on your own—that's okay. And I...you know now. I'd like for it to be with me, if that's possible," he adds, laughing a little, "but if it's not, that's okay too. You just deserve to be happy, and I want to see that happen for you." 

You let his words hang in the air between the two of you for a long, long time. The only sound in the entire parking lot is the occasional soft jangling of your keys when a gust of wind passes by. 

He'd wait for you. 

"...I really don't know how long it will be until I can think about this," you say again, breaking the momentary silence. 

But Taehyun just nods, gently squeezing your hand. You'd almost forgotten your fingers were still interlaced with his. "I'm telling you, that's okay. I'll wait as long as you want until you want to talk about this again—and if you don't want it to go any further, it doesn't have to. I just...just wanted you to know how I felt, regardless." 

You nod. Before you can say anything else, though, Taehyun's phone rings from his back pocket, loudly interrupting the two of you in the otherwise empty parking lot. 

He turns slightly to glance down at it, and makes a face when he sees who it's from. "It’s Kai," he says softly. "They must be wondering where I am."

"Go ahead," you say just as quietly, gesturing with your free hand towards his car. "It's okay. I...I need to think, anyway." 

Taehyun keeps his gaze on you for a moment, mind clearly racing through a thousand different responses as he sets his mouth in a worried line—but eventually he nods. "Okay," he says, finally letting go of your hand. "I...I'll see you after break, then."

You nod wordlessly. 

His words still echo in your mind, even as he gets in his car and offers a small wave your way. 

He'd wait for you. It's more than you could ever ask for. At the same time, however, you realize that it's an admission to yourself—admitting that getting over Yeonjun is still going to be a long, difficult path to walk. 

And when you're finally left in the parking lot by yourself, you find that you feel more alone than you have in a long, long time. 

~~~

The winter holidays go by at a snail's pace. All you want to do is sleep off the fresh heartache your conversation with Taehyun has caused and do practically nothing all break—but you find yourself hilariously bored on your fourth day of doing "nothing." 

Your parents are uncharacteristically lenient of your behavior—they used to never let you sleep in this late, especially if you were home from school after not seeing you for so long—but you know they know about you and Yeonjun breaking up. Your mother had been particularly fond of him, too. Maybe that's why she doesn't say a word when you go to bed early every night. 

It's ridiculously hard to keep your mind off of Yeonjun over the holidays—couples are everywhere. Nearly every holiday movie seems to revolve around a romance, not to mention all the ones in real life that you can't stop seeing. Your friends post about spending the week with their partner's families, about seeing the other's hometown for the first time, of a surprise and sudden engagement from one of your cousins and their long-time girlfriend—it's enough to make you sick. You know that's a horrible thing to think at such happy occasions for the people you know, but the thought forms itself anyway. 

Every time you feel like you've taken a step forward towards healing, towards finally, finally getting over him—you see something that sends you reeling back into that heartache and sorrow, sending you ten steps back from where you'd been. It's a vicious cycle, and as much as you beg for it to end—it doesn't. Not yet. 

Because Yeonjun haunts you in your home, too. It's hard to set up decorations with your parents without thinking about how you did this last year with him—how he had held onto your waist as he reached around you into the box of tinsel, how your mother had beamed at him as he'd helped her cook, how angelic he had looked as the two of you walked around your neighborhood looking at the different lights each house had set up. They were such beautiful memories, at the time—had only made you feel more confident and cemented in your relationship with Yeonjun as each one passed. You'd hadn't ever imagined a future without him. And now you can't help but wonder if he had already felt dissatisfied with you in each of those moments. 

But as unrelenting as those memories are, so is the passing of time—because you survive the winter holiday season, somehow, even with your shattered heart. Your plan is to move back into school right after the new year, which is how you end up at home on New Year's Eve. Your parents have already gone to their rooms to sleep by the time eleven o'clock strikes on the clock, and as hard as you try, you can't help but think about the fact that this is your first New Year's Eve in years that you'll be alone for. 

Or so you think, anyway. The instant you see your phone screen display 12:01 A.M., it buzzes. It's a message from Taehyun. 

> happy new year, y/n

The new year. 

Everything has hurt so badly for months—like a wound that refuses to form a scab, because you won't let it. You're the one who won't put the bandage over the cut, who keeps digging the blade into the metaphorical wound that was you and Yeonjun every time you think about him. 

But what's the alternative? Moving on? Accepting that your relationship with Yeonjun is over? That what had been the happiest years of your life up until now are through? It's unthinkable. It's unfair to that version of you who had loved him with all of your heart to just throw them away—to just lock the door and never look back. 

But it's what you have to do, you realize. You won't ever feel any better until you can accept that you and Yeonjun are done, for good—and Taehyun is offering you a way out. This is the ending of what you've known up until now—but a chance to finally, finally start anew. To put the past behind you and try again. 

< happy new year, taehyun.

IV. SPRING.

The spring semester hardly gives you a moment to breathe. 

You vaguely remember signing up for classes right before fall break—but those weeks were such a blur that you neglected to realize this spring would be your first semester in upper division courses. In other words—you're drowning in schoolwork with scarcely an instant to yourself, let alone to sort out your lingering feelings. 

And in the moments that you do have time to breathe, Yeonjun always seems to find a way to sneak to the forefront of your mind. But these recollections aren't always as painful as they were before. In one instance, you feel a wave of relief wash over you—but only for the single instant that it provides you comfort—when you remember turning down Yeonjun's offer to buy each other promise rings before he'd first left for college. 

He'd pointed at them in a jewelry store the two of you had wandered into while walking downtown together. "What do you think?" he'd asked, winking. 

You'd laughed. "Yeah, right. I hear getting engaged right after high school never ends up going badly for anyone." 

But he'd shaken his head immediately. "Not engaged," he'd corrected gently. "They're promise rings. It's a promise to you, from me. And from you to me—that we'll wait for each other, and only each other, until we're both ready. No matter what happens." 

Your heart had fluttered at the sudden declaration, cheeks flushing pink before you could stop them—but you had thought even then that it seemed like an awfully rash thing to commit to for a relationship of barely over a year. "That's...unbelievably romantic, Jjun," you'd admitted. "Even for you. Have you done something?" you'd teased, narrowing your eyes at him. 

He'd gasped, putting his hands above his head in mock surrender. "I most certainly have not. Can't I just be a hopeless romantic every once in a while?" 

You'd pretended to mull it over. "Hmm. Maybe on special occasions. We'll have to see if we can work out a schedule for your hopeless romantic tendencies in the future." 

Yeonjun had then made a show of wiping pretend sweat from his brow. "Thank goodness." 

You'd giggled, despite yourself. "I'm serious, though. It's a beautiful thought, but...do you think it's something we could come back to? At a later time?" 

Ever the gentleman, your Yeonjun had nodded sweetly at you. "Of course," he'd said, taking your hand in his before leading the two of you back out of the store. "We can talk about the future whenever you're ready. I'm just as happy in our present right now, anyway." 

That had certainly changed somewhere along the way, you think bitterly to yourself. But pushing past this memory still feels like a small victory, in a way. You hadn't wasted money on committing to a promise that Yeonjun had broken.

There are countless more memories that resurface in this way—but by the time they pass, you no longer taste that metaphorical blood in your mouth anymore at their recollection, no longer feel your heart yearning for them to stay the way you would have a few months ago. They just pass, and you don't think about them again after they go.

Yeonjun only texts you once. You haven't sent him a single message since his Instagram post before fall break—and of course, you imagine he knows why. You may not have expected him to break up with you when he did, but you did know him ridiculously well at one point, seemingly both inside and out—you know that he knows you well enough, too, to understand why you've suddenly gone radio silent. But he does text you once, right as the first week of your semester finishes.

> hey. is everything okay? do you want to talk? 

Months ago, you think, you would have leapt at the opportunity—jumped through the screen and across space and time, practically, to have a chance to talk to him for an extended period of time, for a possible chance to win him back. Now you just feel embarrassment towards yourself for ever having felt that way. 

You never respond.

Taehyun's presence in your life is different now, too. You still work together, of course, but you have several shared classes again—so you find yourself studying and comparing essays at either his apartment or yours nearly three or four times each week. It's challenging, all of it, but in between, it does make you remember why you became friends with Taehyun in the first place—because he's not like anyone else you've ever known before. Every time you want to throw in the towel on a particularly lengthy assignment, he has some witty comment that gives you just enough energy to keep going. Every time you come by his apartment, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles upon seeing you sends a surge of warmth through you. If you have felt trapped in frigid ice since this breakup, Taehyun has been your sun, ever so gradually melting that ice away whenever you let him. 

And you do let him. One night, you're leaving his apartment after exchanging study guides for one of your midterms. You walk by his side, car keys swinging softly in between your fingers. 

"How are you feeling?" Taehyun asks right before you open your car door. He doesn't elaborate, but you know what he's talking about. 

So you turn to him. "I, um...I don't know if this will get better," you admit quietly. It's a fear you've harbored from the start—that you'll never get over Yeonjun, your first and last—that he will have created your perception of love, molded and shaped it to his design and his alone before shattering it, leaving you to pick up the pieces for the rest of your life. 

But Taehyun lets out a scoff at that. "It will. I promise, Y/N. It does get better." 

You narrow your eyes at him. "How do you know that? Hmm? Are you some secret fortune teller that I don't know about? Is that how you've been able to afford such a nice apartment here?"

He laughs at you. "No. I'm not a fortune teller. But I know this much—it'll get better. I can't tell you when, because I don't know that. It's something you'll have to figure out, I think. But one day, soon, you'll wake up one morning, and it'll hurt less. And then, a little later, it won't hurt at all. It'll feel like it was a bad dream. You'll get involved in other things, other interests, other people, and then you won't think of this when you wake up in the morning at all." 

You nod, slowly. "I want to believe you, Taehyun. I do. I just don't know how long that will take." 

But he just shrugs again. Damn him for being so easygoing. "That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless."

You do know where he'll be—right by your side, just like he's been for the last six months. In truth, you had expected him to fall back on his promise to wait—you would have been sad, sure, but you wouldn't have blamed him. Putting up with you moving on from a relationship over the course of half a year, now, can't have been an easy task. But you've never heard a word of complaint from him. He isn't that kind of person—you know this now. He really will stick by you for as long as you'll allow him to—a kind of affection you haven't felt from anyone in a long, long time. 

But right beside you isn't the only place Taehyun seems to be. Your subconscious seems to have taken a liking to him, too—because that night, you see him in your dreams. You'd tossed and turned earlier, unable to fall asleep, throwing the sheets off the bed before you curl up into a ball and squeeze your eyes shut. When you finally find yourself lured back into sleep, you find Taehyun—strong and sweet and caring and beautiful Taehyun. He wraps his arms around you in the dream, hands grabbing hold of your waist before he presses his lips to yours in a heated kiss—as if he never wants to let you go. As if there isn't anyone else in the world that matters except for the two of you. 

You wake up in the morning and weep. 

Later in the day, you find tears brimming at the corners of your eyes again when you finally find the courage to delete the photo album on your phone of you and Yeonjun—but they never fall past your lashes, even when you hit the red delete button. 

Perhaps you've run out of tears for him, because none fall when you package away everything else of his in your apartment—every framed photo of the two of you, every stuffed animal he'd bought, every hoodie of his you'd once promised to give back all fit neatly in a single cardboard box, sealed and never to be seen again. 

Without the remnants of Yeonjun scattered throughout your apartment, you find yourself thinking of him less with each day that passes. The ghost who had once haunted every fiber of your being now seems like little more than a bad dream you've suddenly woken up from. This realization hurts you, just like the ones before it—but the hurt doesn't linger. It, too, grows faint before long, dissipated and fading away just like the rest of your relationship. 

The end of the semester doesn't sneak up on you this spring. You have a lengthy presentation for your hardest class, an argumentative speech that you've practically spent all semester preparing for. You and Taehyun practice for each other for weeks beforehand, critiquing and encouraging and teasing each other the whole way through—but it's still over before you know it. 

The morning after your final presentation, you don't wake up until the sun has risen high in the sky, peeking through the blinds over your window and finally raising you from sleep. You stretch as you walk over to the window, opening the blinds and peering out into the street below you. There's a couple walking on the sidewalk—and you recognize the girl as a regular from the library, the one with strawberry-colored hair whom Kai had been practically obsessed with back in the fall. 

She tugs at the sleeve of the man walking beside her, pulling him into a sudden kiss, and you instantly turn away from the window, giving them a moment of privacy despite their actions being in public anyway. 

Well—she obviously hadn't known about Kai's existence, but she'd still clearly been able to find some kind of happiness. The thought soothes you, in a way, and you think about how the scene below you would have made you feel six months ago. You would've been jealous, probably, and upset that you'd never experience anything like that again—but now the only thing it fills you with is longing. It makes you happy to see others experience something that you know feels like a gift. You want to experience that again too, you realize. 

The instant that thought forms in your head, another memory materializes. 

That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless. 

You feel your heart soar at the recollection. 

Yes, Taehyun. I do.

V. SUMMER. 

Taehyun texts you the very first day summer break begins. 

> how'd your last final go? 

> omg i meant to tell you after work yesterday but kai's parents said he could stay in the beach house this weekend 

> like a very early birthday thing i think lol. it'll be a few ppl but you're more than welcome to come tomorrow if you haven't gone back home yet 

The invite sends a flurry of both excitement and nervousness through you. You haven't gone back home yet—your parents aren't coming until early next week to help you move out for the summer, not to mention the fact that you haven't see Taehyun or any of your other coworkers since the end of finals week. Excited doesn't even begin to cover it, you think. 

< i'll be there! 

Kai, thankfully, is a relatively easy person to shop for—you have no trouble at all picking up a wristwatch you remember him talking about a few times at work. And in truth, his birthday isn't for another two months, but you imagine he needed some excuse to convince his parents to let him throw an end-of-the-school-year party—so you don't mind the expense at all.

Kai is overjoyed to see you when you arrive at the beach house, thanks to Taehyun sending you the address, and even more so when he sees the gift bag in your hands. 

"You did not have to get me anything!" he exclaims, pouting, but you still see that glint of anticipation in his eyes despite his words. 

You beam at him, throwing your arms around him in a quick hug. You've missed this—being with your friends and not feeling like you were putting them through hell with you. Seeing them happy with you feels right in a way that nothing else has in months. "Happy birthday, Kai," you say, pulling back so he can tear into his present (which he does almost immediately). 

Taehyun is waving at you from the shallow end of the pool. "Did you bring a swimsuit?" you hear him call over Kai's shouts of excitement. 

You nod, biting back a grin as you pull your shirt over your head and tug your shorts off as quickly as possible, revealing the bathing suit that you'd worn on your way over underneath. You immediately run to jump in the deep end, splashing both Taehyun and Beomgyu, if the yells and laughs you hear when you resurface are any indicator. 

Beomgyu makes some excuse about needing to find the birthday cake, hauling himself up and out from the side of the pool when you start to swim over towards Taehyun.  

He doesn't budge, grinning at you as you make your way towards the shallow end. "Nice of you to make an appearance," he says, winking. 

"Well, I had to let you know I was here somehow, you know," you reply instantly, grinning right back. 

Taehyun's smirk widens. "Of course. And I'm glad you're here, Y/N. How'd you end up doing for your finals?" 

You shrug. "A’s and B’s. I'm still pretty satisfied with how that presentation for Dr. Lee went, though—how about you?" 

He pushes your shoulder playfully. "Look at you! I told you you'd kill that speech. I knew you could do it." 

You feel the ghost of his hand on your skin even after it's gone, shivers rippling down your spine at the thought—and that does it. You can't keep up the small talk any longer. "I have something for you," you announce, as stone-faced as you can manage. "Close your eyes." 

Something flickers in his eyes—surprise? delight, even?—but it's gone just as soon as you notice it. "For me?" He laughs. "But it's Kai's birthday party." 

You nod. "I know," you say. "I already gave him his present. You get one too." 

Taehyun's eyes narrow. "Am I getting the same thing as Kai?" 

You can't bite back the grin that tugs at your lips. "Not even close." 

He seems satisfied with that, finally, so he closes his eyes. You know you'll only get one chance to do this, to do it right with the element of surprise—so you lean in as quickly as you can, before the logical side of your brain can catch up with the rest of you, and press your lips to the side of his cheek. 

Taehyun looks at you, eyes wide open with surprise, until—"You missed." 

You frown. "I what?" 

He nods, as if that should have been obvious. "Mmm-hmm. You missed." There's only a split second for you to realize what he means before he's taken hold of your chin with two of his fingers and brought your lips to his. He's kissing you. 

Taehyun is kissing you. 

There are no fireworks or cannons shooting above your head, no angel floating down from the heavens to confirm that this moment has been the peak of your entire life—but kissing Taehyun is soft. Gentle. It's all the comfort he always makes you feel, has always made you feel—nothing feels more right than being pressed up against him here, with one hand cradling your chin and one settled securely on your hip as his lips move against yours.  

There still aren't fireworks or cannons shooting off behind you—but what you do hear are loud whoops and cheers from your coworkers (and maybe a few fake retching noises). Taehyun pulls back a little once he hears those, dark eyes scanning your face for any signs of discomfort—but there are none. Instead, you laugh, and Taehyun does too, breath skating across your jaw as you feel more right than you have in an achingly long time. When he presses his lips to yours again, still smiling against the kiss, you feel that sensation of right, of warmth, of comfort practically coursing through your veins as you slide your arms around his neck. This, right here, is where you're supposed to be. 

“You waited,” you manage to breathe out in between kisses, holding tighter to Taehyun’s shoulders above the water to steady yourself.

He smiles at you, beaming brighter and warmer than the summer sun above the two of you. “Yes, Y/N,” he whispers softly, moving his hand to cup your cheek in his palm. “And I’d do it again if it meant we would still end up right here.”

It's not the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another—life is hardly ever that smooth. It just is. 

You don't know the kind of partner Taehyun is yet. You don't know that he'll almost always keep a hand on your thigh when you sit together, that he'll write a list in the notes app of his phone of your orders at each of your favorite restaurants, that he'll love to take candid photos of you to show you later, that one day the two of you will be in a very similar position to the way you are now while a small black box holds a hefty weight in his back pocket—but you don't have to know any of that yet. 

You're here with Taehyun, now, your arms around him as his wrap around you, and that's what matters. The rest you can figure out together.

taglist: @petrichor-han @kangroo-chan @ot7lonelylover @lilacdreams-00 @mainexiii @awkwardnesshabitat @lotus-dly @elizabeth11moreno @nerdysl-t @seung-scrittore

©️ noramoons 2021-2022. do not translate or reupload my writing.

[ladylooch]

Letters in Your Last Name- Chapter 1

Visit the Series page here.

A/N: She's here! On Tumblr! The AU that brought me back to fan fic 🥰 I am going to post one chapter a day until it's all over here. I originally posted this on mibba, but Tumblr has been kind to me and I want to share these two with you! Note, I did change Alex's kids names because it felt like the right thing to do. K, enjoy!

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: swearing.

“Alex Stalock!” I screech at my older brother as he tries to grab the mini stick out of my hands. “Your son needs to learn how to lose.” I insist, reaching out my hand for him to give it back to me.

“Sam, he’s 5. Let the kid get at least one shot in.” Alex laughs, giving me a light shove.

Alex and I are playing mini sticks with his oldest child, Sawyer, in the living room of my brother’s sprawling home in the outer suburbs of St. Paul, Minnesota. I’m determined to score on him just like I was when we were kids playing in our parents unfinished basement, 10 minutes from where we are now. Alex is my youngest, older brother and currently plays for the Minnesota Wild as a goalie.

“What time is Kevin going to be here?” Felicia, Alex’s wife of almost ten years, asks after taking a sip of her red wine. They were high school sweethearts and she’s been a part of our family for as long as I can remember.

“6:30.” Alex answers as he sets himself up in the net again.

“Who is Kevin?” I wonder as I reach for the ball on Sawyer’s stick in a lame attempt to take it from him.

“New guy. Just got traded here from Nashville.” Alex says as he exaggerates a dive. Sawyer shoots and the white ball sails into the netting. He lifts his stick and cheers, pumping his fists in the air and yelling.

“Daddy, I’m Eric!” He exclaims, mimicking Eric Staal who is known for his excited, goal scoring celebrations on the team.

“You’re definitely quieter than that guy.” Alex snorts. “Kevin is your age.” Alex finishes to me, grabbing a sip of water from his glass on the coffee table.

I’m the youngest of my two siblings, but I’m actually considerably younger than both my brothers. Nick, the oldest, is 12 years older than me while Alex is 9 years older. It goes without saying, but yes, I was a complete surprise to my parents, who thought they were done after having two boys. My older brothers were smitten with me from day one, but Alex and I have always been the closest. He taught me how to skate, tie my shoes and throw a punch. Mom wasn’t too thrilled about the last one. The teenage years were a struggle, especially considering Alex liked to scare all the hockey boys away from me in high school. Overall though, we have been thick as thieves and rarely notice the age difference.

“Honey, can you help me put the salad together? Serena needs me to help her go potty.” Felicia reaches for their daughter and scoops her up into her arms. Serena is the youngest of the two kids, turning three in a few short months.

“Yep!” Alex agrees, swiftly leaving our game.

“Alright, little man. You’re toast now that dad’s gone.” I grin mischievously at Sawyer.

“Doubt it.” Sawyer replies. I laugh loudly and glance at Alex who gives me a wicked grin.

“That’s my boy. Get her.”

Sawyer and I duke it out while dinner is being prepared. He allows a couple soft goals and I let in a few just to keep the fun going. He’s winning by two goals when the doorbell chimes throughout the house.

“Got it!” Alex yells from the kitchen, jogging out to the front door. “Hey man!” I hear Alex greet our guest. “Come on in.”

I stare Sawyer down in the net, looking at the gaping hole he left to the right and instead, shooting directly into his stomach. I let out a groan as Sawyer giggles excitedly.

“Nice save bud! Time to be done though. Please go wash up for dinner.” Alex says as he walks back into the living room with Kevin Fiala in toe.

“No! I’m about to beat Auntie.” Sawyer insists.

“Lies,” I shake my head at him, giving him a joking snarl. “Nobody beats me in mini sticks.”

“Well, if you rage slash everyone when you lose, it’s in everyone’s best interest if you win.” Alex grins wildly at me. “Sawyer, that wasn’t me asking. Go.”

“That was one time.” I pout at him. I glance to his left and take in the newest member of the Minnesota Wild. What I see is as good of eye candy as you can get. Strong jaw, deep brown eyes, a smile that invites you in for one drink and the next thing you know you’re screaming his name in pleasure. Yikes. I shake my head, putting on a pleasant smile and forcing my eyes back to my brother.

“Kevin, this is my little sister, Sam. Sam, Kevin.”

“Nice to meet you.” I wave at him, grabbing the sticks and goals to move them out of the way. Kevin walks towards me, grabbing the goals out of my hand.

“I can help.” He offers.

“Oh, thanks.” I say to him, smiling. “They go in the playroom down the hall.” I tell him. We enter the playroom and I step over stuffed animals, cars, and legos to get to the back corner where the knee hockey stuff lives. As he places the goals down, I take an opportunity to look at him. Damn, this guy is gorgeous. Not even in the trying too hard kind of gorgeous; It’s all clearly natural. A combination of his bone structure, 5 o’clock shadow and brown hair flipping out slightly from his hat makes me weak in the knees. He’s wearing dark jeans and a white Adidas sweatshirt that showcases his broad shoulders. He glances at me and when our eyes meet, I can feel my body tingle in response. Our gazes hold for a breath, but it’s enough for my heart to beat faster in response.

“Alex says you live here?” He asks me when our hands are empty.

“Um, yeah. Alex is gone a lot during the season, so I help out with the kids when he is out of town. At first, it was just for long road trips, but it works to always have adults outnumbering the kids.”

“That makes sense.” He nods in response, hands going into his pockets. “So you’re the mini sticks champion in this house?” He tilts his head as he looks at me through shining, bright eyes. I laugh and give my eyes a quick roll.

“Alex likes to talk shit, but yes, I was always the champion growing up between my siblings. Being the only girl has it’s perks sometimes.” I shrug. “As for this house, I’ve been known to let Sawyer win a time or two.”

He leans his head back and genuinely laughs. I bite my lip, taking in the sight of his relaxed posture, his easy smile, and his tongue as it licks over his bottom lip. My stomach dips in response. I swallow hard, looking away from him.

Sam, you’re going into dangerous territory.

“Um, I think Felicia said dinner was almost ready.” I say, considering he is between me and the door. I know we need to move along, otherwise Alex or one of the kids will get curious.

“Sure. Well, maybe some other time you and I can play together. I’d love to challenge you for your title.”

“Oh really? Even after the rage slashing story?”

“What can I say.” He says with a shrug. He turns towards door, but pauses and looks back at me. “I like a girl with some fire in her.” He distinctly looks me up and down, pausing briefly at my lips, then grins like wild and walks out.

Uh oh.

- - -

Dinner is filled with carbs, wine, and plenty of light, Midwestern conversation. Kevin tells us that he is originally from Switzerland, but stays in Sweden during the off season. He played there before he was drafted into the NHL and fell in love with the country. He visits for multiple weeks in Switzerland before and after the season where his family still lives. He was drafted by Nashville in 2014 and had a rough journey through his NHL career so far.

“I appreciate the support I’ve gotten from the Predators over the years, but I can’t say that I’m sad to not be there anymore.” Kevin tells us after taking a drink of water. “Towards the end it became clear that I was never going to find my place in the organization.”

“I get that.” Alex tells him, “I’ve been with three different teams in my career and each one offers a different atmosphere. Some you can thrive in and others seem to hold you back.”

“Yeah, and being a European far from home adds another level of frustration when things aren’t going great.”

“I bet. I feel grateful I can play in the place where I am from and have my family at every game.” Alex nods. As he finishes, Serena lets out a large yawn. “Well, kids, it’s about that time.”

“But I’m not tired.” Sawyer tells his dad. He’s been fascinated with Kevin’s stories of his time in the NHL and abroad.

“I’ve seen a few yawns out of you too.” Felicia insisted, “Plus it’s bath night so we need to get moving.”

“If I’m holding you all up, I can head home.” Kevin says, moving to rise from his chair.

“No! Stay as long as you want.” Felicia insists, putting her hands up to stop him. “Al, why don’t you help me with the kiddos and Sam can stay with Kevin.”

“I can clean up.” I tell her. The kids are gathered up by their parents, leaving Kevin and I alone with a table full of leftovers and dishes. “You can just relax. I’ve got this.” I insist as he starts clearing plates.

“The least I can do is help clean up. The food was amazing.”

“Yeah, Felicia is an awesome cook. You’ll have to come back when she makes biscuits and gravy. Although, you should plan a nap into your day right after.” I laugh, grabbing a few glasses and walking over to the sink.

“That sounds like an off-day kind of meal.” He jokes as he hands me the plates. Our fingers brush and electricity slips up my arm and down my spine. Our eyes meet over the plates and I find myself unable to look away.

“Yeah, but it’s well worth the discomfort.” I say to him, trying to not sound as breathless as I feel.

“Some things in life are like that.” He gives me a small smirk before heading back to the table to grab more dishes. I force out a slow breath as I rinse the dishes before putting them into the empty dish washer. I don’t know what it is about him, but there is this undeniable force between us that feels like it’s pulling me to him. We work steadily in comfortable silence, him grabbing dishes and me putting them into the dishwasher. I take great care with each interaction to focus on the dishes in his hand and not let our fingers touch.

“So tell me about you.” He says as I’m putting the last few dishes away. I glance up at him, shrugging.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything you’ll give me.” He leans back against the counter, arms crossed, waiting. My skin tingles beneath his gaze and I feel my cheeks grow pink at the awareness of his eyes on me.

“Born and raised here in Minnesota. I’ve never been to Sweden or Switzerland, or even Nashville. My favorite things are hockey, my family, and pasta. Coffee is my drink of choice and ice cream is my weakness.”

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for sweet things like ice cream and pretty women.” He mentions casually. There is a suggestion in his voice and the look on his face. I smile in response, sliding my gaze back to the dishes.

“FiFi, “I say using his nickname from Nashville that he told us about earlier in the evening. “Are you flirting with me in my brother’s kitchen?” I shut the dishwasher door, very aware that was the only barrier between us.

“Well, you having to ask is a bit embarrassing.” He bites his bottom lip and folds his arms tighter across his chest. “But I hope it’s still working.” I hold his gaze and breathe out a laugh.

“Maybe. But I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I say, pressing the start button. The machine clicks to life and I turn to grab containers for the leftovers.

“Ah. I get it. Your boyfriend isn’t interested in sharing?” He moves closer to where I am standing, grabbing a container and filling it with the leftover bread. He snaps the lid shut. As his arms move in this motion, I can feel the heat from his body through my sweatshirt.

“Smooth.” I acknowledge, scooping the pasta into two separate containers. “But, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. Is your girlfriend still in Nashville?” I wonder.

“I’m not the kind of guy who flirts with women when he has a girlfriend.” He says seriously. “So, what’s holding you back? I haven’t been charming enough?” He bats his long lashes jokingly.

“My brother would not be okay with any semblance of us.” I shrug. “Al and I are really close and he pays my bills, so I’m not super interested in messing that up.”

“I get it. I’m close with my sister too.” He tells me. “It’s too bad though. I’ve never met someone I’ve wanted to know every part of before.”

I let that sit in the silence as I walk to the fridge and place the leftovers in there. When I turn, I meet his gaze. There is this look in his eyes that is difficult to place. Wonder? Desire? Need? In normal circumstances, attention like this would be something I would laugh off. Those lines he’s using? Cheesy with a side of fluff. And yet, it’s working. There is something about him that makes me want to know him too. There is this chemistry between us and even though this is my life, it’s hard to believe that we just met for the first time mere hours ago. He feels familiar and comfortable. Someone I could fall right into and never bother getting up from.

Kevin pushes himself from the counter and walks across the kitchen to me with a container of leftover salad. He pauses in front of me, looking down into my face and I feel like I can barely breathe. His brown eyes search my face and whatever he is looking for, he finds because his lips pull apart into an easy smile again.

“Kids are down.” Alex’s voice carries to us. I can’t stop my body from jumping in response. I slide two steps back from Kevin and attempt to keep my face neutral. Judging by my brother’s squinty eyes, I look just as guilty as I feel. “Kev, want to play some chel before you go?”

“Yeah, hope you don’t mind getting your ass kicked though.” Kevin says as he brushes passed me, our arms touching briefly. I blow out the breath I was holding as they disappear to the basement where Alex’s gaming consoles are. I glance to the living room where Felicia is tiding up from the day now that the kids are asleep.

“Be careful with that.” She tells me as she folds the blanket and drapes it on the back of the couch. She gives me a knowing smile and I find myself fidgeting under her gaze. “He does look like fun though.” She winks.

“Yeah, something tells me he wouldn’t be boring.” I giggle, grabbing a can of blackberry Bubly out of the fridge.

“Well, what Alex doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

I help Felicia clean up the rest of the living room before deciding to call it a night. I have to be up early tomorrow to drop Sawyer at pre-school. Serena has a doctor appointment and with Alex leaving town in the morning, she can’t be two places at once. I wander down the stairs which lead into the family room where Alex and Kevin are playing the latest NHL game on Xbox. Kevin groans as Alex scores in the top right hand corner.

“Top titty!” Alex laughs, taking a swig of beer as the game resets for the next face off. Kevin’s eyes meet mine and he give this head a shake.

“Your brother cheats.” He insists

“Cheating does run in the family.” I shrug before continuing on down the hallway, passed the bathroom and into my room. As much as I’d love to linger in the room and watch, I know Alex would be suspicious of my presence.

I choose the basement for my room as it gives us all some privacy from each other. Sometimes, it feels a little weird to be living with my brother’s family. I’ve been with them for two years now, but it didn’t start to feel weird until after I graduated from college. I attended the University of Minnesota, Go Gophers, and earned a B.S. in Business Administration with an emphasis in Leadership. After college, I struggled with knowing exactly what I wanted to do. I loved the interworking of businesses, but the corporate world just doesn’t feel like a fit to me. When Alex asked for me to come nanny for them almost a year ago, it felt like a welcome chance to delay entering the professional world. Now, seeing my peers with their entry level positions, I worry that maybe I’m behind. With everything Alex has given to me, I feel guilty leaving them to pursue just anything.

I walk to my desk and sit at my laptop. I spend a few minutes flipping through various social media sites before I pull up Netflix. As I’m plugging my headphones into my ears, I hear footsteps down the hall, entering the bathroom next to my room. I know it’s either Kevin or Alex. My heart beats harder in my chest hoping it’s the Swiss native. A minute passes before I hear the click of the door. I click open an episode of One Tree Hill to not look like I was waiting for whoever was in there.

“This your room?”Kevin pokes his head into the doorway with a soft knock.

“For now.” I say as I pull my headphones out of my ears.

“I see you like the color purple.” He notes the lavender walls and my dark purple bed spread.

“I do. Our family was big Vikings fans growing up.” I notice the confusion on his face. “Our professional football team.. American Football.”

“Ah.” He nods his head in understanding. “They any good? I went to a few Titans games in Nashville.”

“Mmmm depends on the year.” I tell him honestly. He walks a little further in and looks at the picture I have on my wall next to the door of Alex, Nick, and I at Alex’s first game for the Wild. Kevin smiles at the picture then looks at me.

“Nice room. Maybe I can see more of it sometime.”

“I’m sure you’d like that.” I tell him with a smirk.

“Bed looks comfortable.” He gives me a playful smile that hints at sinister things.

“Oh my god.” I laugh, hiding my pink face. “Don’t you have video games to play? You better get back before Alex really starts to cheat.”

“I probably should.., and yet I’m much more interested in what you’re doing in here.” He shrugs, leaning back against the wall next to the door.

“Pretty boring stuff. Just Netflix without the chill.” I motion for him to exit the door and he laughs, nodding his head.

“Hint taken. Hopefully I’ll see you around.. Sam Stalock.”

“There’s a high chance you will. My brother is your teammate.” I remind him, sticking an ear bud back in. I’m trying to play it cool like I could take him or leave him, but my insides are all squishy at his presence.

“Hey Sam?” Kevin calls to me as I’m about to turn back to my computer.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for the fun night. I don’t get to hang out with many people my age when I’m in America. So, it was nice joking around with you. But, I really do hope I’ll see you soon.”

“Me too, FiFi.” I respond. His nickname comes out playfully and I watch as he licks his lips suggestively. He hovers in the doorway for another moment before lifting his hand in a brief wave. I wave back and watch the doorway long after he leaves. I hope this isn’t the last I’ll see of him.

Later that night, after Kevin leaves and I’m winding down for bed, there is a small knock at my bedroom door.

“Come in!” I yell and Alex opens the door slowly.

“Hey, just checking if you need anything before I head out of town tomorrow.” The Wild are gone in Canada for the next five days visiting the Calgary Flames and the Winnipeg Jets. This should give me a few days to cool off and forget about the team’s newest member.

“Just a couple of wins.” I answer him, smiling at my own cheekiness.

“I’ll do my best.” He laughs. “Can you take some video of Sawyer’s practice on Thursday? He wants me to show Suter, so he can get some pointers on his stride. Kid is a hoot.”

“My goodness. What happened to being a goalie?” I laugh. Alex shrugs.

“I think his mom has been the influencer behind that shift. She thinks he should be a defensemen.”

“Well, it is less stress for a hockey mom.”

“Yeah that’s probably true. Sometimes I still think mom is going to have a panic attack when I’m starting.”

“To be fair, you like to rush out to play the puck at the blue line a little too much.”

“Hey, it works.” He insists. “Alright, I’m going to go finish packing.”

“Safe travels, Al.” I tell him, turning to pull my comforter back and slide into my flannel sheets.

“Night, Sam.” Alex begins to pull the door shut but stops and pops his head back in. I look at him expectantly and watch as his face twists into a frown. His blue eyes meet mine and he pushes out a sigh. “Look, there seemed to be something between you and Kevin at dinner tonight. I’d appreciate it if you could avoid getting entangled with him. Kid has potential to be a stud and he’s a good looking dude. But things are going well in the locker room right now and we don’t need any distractions as we head down the playoff stretch.”

“Okay.” I roll my eyes at him, resisting the urge to call him a few choice words. Why do men always think women are distractions?

“Sam.” Alex’s voice has gone low and serious.

“Alex.” I say back, mimicking his voice.

“Stay away from Fiala.” He doesn’t give me an opportunity to respond before he is out the door, leaving me with the sense that this topic isn’t up for further discussion. I stare at the door, his words echoing in my head.

There seemed to be something between you and Kevin at dinner tonight.

A few hours ago, I would have told Alex no problem. But now, I’m not so sure. How do you avoid someone that you inexplicably feel drawn towards? I glance at the picture of Alex, Nick and I from last summer. It was my 21st birthday and we are all wide eyed, cheeky smiles, and a bit sunburnt from spending the day on the boat. I smile softly, remembering. Alex has been my best friend, biggest supporter, and protector since we were kids. My thoughts turn to Kevin and the connection we were both feeling tonight. To find someone that you have instant chemistry with is rare. I know this. But I also love my brother and know I should tread cautiously from here.

I turn off the lamp next to my bed and slide further down into my sheets. I pull the comforter up close to my chin and sigh. No matter what is potentially brewing between Kevin and I, mine and Alex’s relationship is more important. I owe it to him to put aside my other feelings and stand with my brother as the team pushes for the playoffs. This should be no problem. All I need to do is avoid the Swiss native all together. If I don’t see him, I won’t feel any of the connection and can easily honor Alex’s wishes.

Yeah. That is what I’ll do. Avoiding Kevin Fiala should be no problem.

I close my eyes, trying to ignore the sadness that has settled into my chest. Sleep comes easy, but relief from reality doesn’t. Within a few minutes, I’m dreaming of brown eyes and a Swiss accent.

[rikki-bennett]

Is that RHIANNON “RIKKI” BENNETT that I see over there? You know they have quite the reputation of being the HALCYON around town. The 27 year old has been around these parts for 18 MONTHS and within that timeframe has landed themselves a job as a SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER/INFLUENCER while living in SYCAMORE VILLAGE. I overheard that they can be quite OVERLY ASSERTIVE but their saving grace is that they are OUTGOING. They remind me of MIDNIGHT STARRY SKIES, MATTE BLACK ACCESSORIES, AND THE SMELL OF BLACKBERRY AND SAGE but you’ll have to decide that for yourself.

Feather Rhiannon Laurent Moreau was raised in what could be considered an unconventional environment. Her hometown was in the depths of Mississippi, just a half hour outside Biloxi. The words “Bible belt” come to mind when looking at the town, but her upbringing was anything but conservative. Her parents, Eric and Daisy, were what could be considered hippies. Marriage was never for the pair of childhood sweethearts and neither was monogamy. When Rikki was five, her mother began seriously dating a doctor named Miguel. She considers him her father as well and loves him as much as she loves her biological father.

Despite thriving on the unexpected, Rikki’s parents were loving and very serious about education. School was of the utmost importance. It was largely due to this that Rikki graduated high school a year early and was well on her way to Ole Miss. After a disastrous, humiliating relationship, she decides to move to Vegas.

A need to put herself through college is what sends her to the pole and it’s there that she truly finds herself as her own woman. It’s also in said strip club that she meets the love of her life. It’s passionate, deeper than anything she’s ever felt before, what causes her to tattoo Asher’s name on her abdomen, and what inspires her to go back to school.

Long distance was a bitch and it broke even the strongest of relationships, even one that Rikki was sure would result in marriage instead of a debilitating breakup and an unplanned pregnancy. Having a baby by herself wasn’t in her plans, but nine months later, Ashton came into the world.

Moving to Vermont was never in the cards until a job opportunity presented itself. Rikki had also planned on raising her son on her own until his father came back into the picture. Initially, they planned on taking things slow, but much like when they first met, it didn’t last. When Rikki discovered she was pregnant again, they got married and finally fulfilled their plans from four years ago. 

Headcanons:

Rikki is the youngest of four and was born three months premature. Her older siblings are Meadow, Lark, and Orion.

She speaks French and Spanish fluently, the latter thanks to her “step” father, Miguel.

Her father is a farm-to-table chef with a successful restaurant in Biloxi and her mother works as the restaurant’s manager.

Has an allergy to coconut, monks fruit, and kiwi

Has a Bernese Mountain Dog named Moose

On top of running a business’s social media account, she’s an influencer on the side but doesn’t post pictures of Ashton in order to keep his privacy.

Can rap, but despite being an ex-stripper, she is a terrible dancer

Has her husband’s name still tattooed on her body, along with Ashton’s name on the inside of her left wrist. Her daughter’s name will be added to the mix once she makes her arrival. 

Connections:

Friends/neighbors

Her boss (any business that needs a social media manager for their account???)

[demon-animatronic]

Forgot to do this earlier but here are

My thoughts on Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge

- Barely 5 minutes in and he already got his first kill on the kill count.

- Those are some giant ass vents

- Hello Christine. I mean Melody and also this movie’s Meg and Raoul

- Yeeees this Eric seems to be a sewer goblin like the real Erik!

- Peter/Raoul seems like a douchebag tbh

- I do find it interesting that it’s reversed in this movie. Instead of being childhood friends and sweethearts with Peter, it’s Eric that Melody loved from the start.

- Sir, what have these security guards done to you other than coming close to catching you.

- Ew. Never mind. Slaughter all the creepy pervs that the security guards are. Have fun, Eric!

- As far as I’m concerned, Eric has been justified in killing the guards.

- Ah yes the classic car won’t start and main character gets attacked after opening the hood.

- But at least Eric is there to save the day from whoever that creepy perv is.

- Poor teen!Eric. Lost his family and home via Arson for the most fucked up of reasons.

- “fired” very funny, asshole

- So instead of being a musical genius, teen Eric from the 80s(?) is a gym buff and was probably the quarterback for his high school football team too.

- But hey I give him credit for training himself to be ready to take on his family’s murderers. And those that ruined his life.

- Peter is an idiot but I get why he did that.

- Dude did you not get your arrow injury taken care of at all? Also I guess this Eric has pet snakes. That was fucked up but also justified.

- Of course they never heard of the Arsonist. THEY hired him to kill Eric and his family to begin with. All to build a stupid mall where their house once stood.

- On the plus side, Eric seems to still be protective of ALL of his friends. He was getting pissed watching the little punk be a creep towards Melody’s bestie. Then killed him.

- And now the arsonist is trying to kill them. Again in Melodys case since he tried to the night of the fire.

- Yet again Eric saves the love of his life and childhood sweetheart.

- Aaaand now they are digging up Eric’s supposed grave.

- Meanwhile Eric is placing bombs in the mall.

- Mel, your former boyfriend is doing a lot for you even though you are unconscious at the moment. Actually he’s been doing a lot all movie.

- A little over a hour in and she’s finally in his ‘lair’

- Aww he unmasked himself. God his poor vocal chords got fucked too. And this isn’t an adult either. He’s technically still a kid at around 16 or 17.

- Mel’s thought process right now:

I have a life above ground: Valid

I love a guy I just met a few days ago more than you, my childhood sweetheart and boyfriend I just found out was really alive all along: Not valid.

- Seriously wtf is wrong with you, girl. No wonder that was the straw that broke the camels back and made him start the timer on the bomb. He’s feeling nothing but pure rage now. Especially since YOU always felt he was still alive. Not to mention him leaving you your fav flowers, leaving you an outfit you wanted but couldn’t afford, and playing your couple song in your place of work.

- And now he has gone full psycho. Like wanting to go back to above ground is completely valid. But you aren’t exactly helping him out by calming him. You’re just pissing him off more. Especially over a guy you just met. It’s making you look stuck up and not in love with Eric anymore over how he looks and sounds now rather than because he’s a psycho murderer now.

- Thank you, Eric for killing those two motherfuckers. I think that’s everyone that was involved with the arson one way or another.

- But alas you are dead now for real. If you being on fucking fire didn’t kill you. That explosion certainly did. Hopefully you can rest in peace and get reunited with your parents in the afterlife.

Anyway this movie is so dumb it’s good. I can’t help but feel for this Erik too. Especially since he was just a teen that had his life destroyed by a bunch of greedy bastards. Not to mention being alone for a year. No wonder he lost his goddamn mind. He was probably dreaming of Melody staying with him and then got denied and the last of his dreams crushed.

[terrainofheartfelt]

Okay I’ll throw in one last one for the road: Van der Humphreys + children?

VDH + Children

“...so that’s Eric and Jonathan and Jenny and Nathaniel in the east wing, Daniel and Blair and Serena and Vanessa upstairs, and I thought we should put Scott and Natalie in the largest bedroom, since they’re bringing the baby with them.”

“Fine by me,” Rufus says, coming around to set a fresh cup of tea beside Lily’s laptop as she studies the details of their rental in Kauai. “They’re definitely coming? Traveling with a two-year-old is – a lot.” 

“They already RSVP'd,” Lily confirms, lifting her Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington mug to take a sip. “Plus, we’ll all be around, so they should be able to take at least one night off.” 

“True,” Rufus agrees, one of his hands gently kneading her shoulder. 

“So,” she twists her head back to look up at her husband as he peers down at the screen, his own Welcome Back, Kotter mug in hand, “what do you think?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know, Lil,” he muses, “you sure we’ll have enough room?”

“Oh, stop,” she chides as he laughs, dropping into the dining chair next to her and scooting closer. 

“It’ll be great,” he amends, setting a hand on her knee. 

“And this way, every couple will have their own bathroom.”

“That’s smart. Save us from a repeat of the Hot Water Incident of 2016.”

Lily laughs at the joke, but that’s why she chose such an extensive property for this family trip. During their last one in Telluride, Dan and Nate had to physically put themselves between Blair and Jenny. 

“Was that really the last time the whole family was together?” Rufus asks. 

Lily makes a dissenting noise. “Eric’s wedding,” she corrects.

“Oh, that’s right,” Rufus nods, “Nat was pregnant with Dylan.”

(Named after Bob, a fact which they both loved, though Rufus is the only one who’ll admit it). 

“Our numbers have gone up,” Lily says lightly.

“And they’ll keep on going.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Do you know something I don’t know?”

Rufus blinks, puzzled for a second. “Nope, but don’t you think?”

She laughs, tipping her head back. Rufus moves to stretch his arm across the back of her chair, and she settles into it with a sigh, her eyes still on the screen, still displaying all the details of their Hawaiian dream rental. 

“Do you think sometimes maybe we have too many children?” she jokes.

“Maybe,” Rufus props his chin on her shoulder, “but I kind of love it that way.”

She smiles, and reaches up to pat his cheek. “Me too.”

It’s a perfect afternoon in Kauai, though Nate’s not sure there’s any other kind of afternoon here. 

Lily always goes all out for these family trips, and this one is no different. The villa she rented is massive. Hilariously oversized, Jen called it on their arrival, and while that may be true, it’s nice that there’s enough space for everyone in the family to do their own thing. Plus, it means Nate won’t have to hold Jenny back from jumping her sister-in-law for hogging the bathroom, at least on this trip. 

Right now, Nate is parked on the sectional sofa in the main living area, next to a huge set of windows displaying the ocean down in the distance. He’d taken Jenny out on the water this morning, but now he needed to carve out some time with the stack of study materials he’d brought with him. 

“Yikes. You do know you’re on vacation, right?”

Nate looks up from the packet in his hands to see Serena, already twenty percent tanner than when they’d all got here three days ago. She’s wearing the look she and Jenny have both classified as Island Niles: a brightly-colored large and flowy Hawaiian shirt and denim cutoffs (Nate’s in love with a fashion designer, he notices these things now).

“Haha,” he says flatly. “I don’t have a choice. I got a physiology exam the week after we get back, so I can’t let all the information leak out of my brain.”

Serena drops down onto the other end of the couch. “Look at you,” she croons, poking his leg with her foot, “Nate Archibald, the academic.”

He looks back down at his reading, flipping Serena off as he does. 

He hears her laugh, and spots the toss of her head out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t worry, Vanessa’s just as bad, she’s been elbow deep in Final Cut pro all day. So, I came to see what everyone else is doing.”

Nate shrugs, tapping the end of his pen on his lips. “Scott and Nat left for a romantic getaway on the big island this morning, so most everyone else is taken with the baby.” He gestures with his pen to the window behind him, to the lawn and the pool where no doubt Jen, Dan, Eric, Jonathan, Rufus,

and Lily were all still entertaining Scott’s little girl, Dylan. (Named after Bob, which Nate and Jen both agreed was a really awesome name).

Serena hums, following his point to look out the window. She laughs lightly, smile breaking over her face. 

“Aren’t you glad Scott finally had a kid?” she asks, propping her head up with her arm on the back of the couch. “Really takes the pressure off.”

Nate narrows his eyes playfully. “What pressure would you be under?”

“Umm, me and Vanessa, that’s two uteruses, so: double the pressure of the rest of you!”

He laughs. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

Serena tilts her head in thought. “Is that even the plural of uterus? Or is it uteri?”

“Uteruses,” Nate confirms. 

She grins. “See? That studying is already paying off!” she pokes him with her foot again, repeatedly this time, until Nate has to swat her away with one of his textbooks.

“Fine, fine,” she relents with a giggle. “But, seriously, tell me how school’s going.”

Nate does, trading his stories from nursing school for Serena’s about her photography and writing freelancing. She’d shied away from it for a long time, not wanting to be like her mother, but eventually, with Vanessa and Blair and Eric’s prodding, she couldn’t deny it’s what she loved to do, even if she still refuses to call it photojournalism. 

There’s always the text chains and emails and errant direct messages on social media, but Nate loves these gatherings because it’s a chance for him to really catch up with his best friend. Blair’s only a couple hours away in Paris, but S and her girl were on the move so much Nate really only gets to see them at official van der Humphrey gatherings. It’s lucky he and Blair both fell for people in her family. 

Their chat is interrupted by a high-pitched shriek of laughter, and they both turn to see Dylan giggling in Jenny’s arms as she twirls them around in the shallow end of the pool. 

“She’s cute,” Serena says. 

“Yeah,” Nate didn’t realize he was smiling until after he speaks. 

“Soooooo,” Serena says suggestively, waggling her eyebrows like a cartoon villain, “does that mean you’re next?”

Nate snorts. “Nope. Not likely.”

Serena lifts an inquiring eyebrow. 

He shrugs. “We’ve talked about it, and neither of us are anywhere near ready.” He drops the packet in his hands and stretches. “Jen has plans to launch her own label by the time she’s thirty, and I just want to survive clinicals.”

Serena nods with a laugh. “Completely understandable.”

“We’ve tabled it indefinitely,” he turns in his seat, mirroring Serena’s pose, hand propped on his arm. “Or at least another ten years.” 

“Yeah. Us too,” she shrugs, looking down, hand dropping to pluck at the fringe of one of the throw pillows. “V would be great at it.”

“You would too,” he says softly. “But you don’t have to want it.” (It’s not too dissimilar from what he told Jenny, but the sentiment remains.)

Serena shoots him a grateful smile, then turns to look back out the window. “So who do you think will be next? Eric or Dan?”

Nate hums thoughtfully. “Well, Eric’s the one who gave your mom the white wedding, so he should at least give Dan the chance to win back some points.”

Serena giggles, and as if she could sense their direction of the conversation, Blair comes padding into the room, in shockingly casual dress: leggings and an oversized, faded NYU t-shirt. Nate would have expected her in one of the resort collections Jen’s been pouring over for weeks now. 

“How are you doing there, B?” Nate teases. 

Blair makes a grumbly noise in response, and sinks down onto the couch between them, putting her head in Serena’s lap and her feet in Nate’s. 

“Hungover?” Serena asks with a pitiful pout, brushing Blair’s hair back from her face.

That’s funny, Nate doesn’t remember Blair drinking at all last night. Or the night before. Or on the flight from Heathrow to LAX—and there are few things Blair Waldorf loves more than a cocktail on an international flight.

“No,” Blair insists. “I’m just exhausted. Must be jetlag.” 

“We’ve been here for a few days now, B,” Serena says gently.

“Well, it’s delayed jetlag,” Blair snipes. 

“Does that exist?” Nate asks. 

Blair scoffs, rolling onto her side, kicking Nate in the process. “I need a nap.”

“I thought naps were for the weak,” Serena teases.

“Yeah, isn’t that what you’ve said at every other van der Humphrey family vacation?” 

Blair kicks at him again, but Nate knows he’s right. His best friend has never been one for sleeping in the middle of the day, unless she was pulling a Camille, or when she was…

“B,” he says firmly. 

She turns to look him in the eye, and he meets it. He’s been Jenny’s partner too long to be cowed by a withering stare, and known Blair too long to fall apart from hers. 

“What,” she asks flatly, challenging. 

“B,” he repeats, matching her tone, arching an eyebrow.

Her eyes widen, caught, and then he knows. 

“Okay,” Serena waves a hand, interrupting their staring contest. “One of you needs to start talking.” 

“Blair’s not hungover,” he says gleefully, “because she hasn’t had a drink all week.”

Blair pushes herself into sitting up. “Nathaniel Archibald –”

“Because,” he drops his voice to a stage-whisper, “she’s pregnant.”

Serena’s squeal nearly breaks the glass behind them. “Really?” 

“I – how –” Blair sputters at him. “How did you know?”

“I am a medical professional now, remember?” he picks up the course packet he was reading earlier and waves it in her face. 

“You’re a student,” she snarks back, swatting a hand at the book, “you aren’t a professional anything yet, Archibald, don’t be so braggy.”

“Oh, I’m gonna brag a little.”

Serena bounces in her seat, clapping her hands together. “Oh, this is amazing! Congratulations!” She playfully shoves Blair’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” 

“I can’t believe Dan hasn’t told everyone on the island,” Nate jokes.

Blair shushes them both. “That’s because I haven’t told Dan yet,” she whispers forcefully. “So you two better keep this secret, because if he hears it from one of your girlfriends first, I swear to god, I will end you all.”

Nate meets Serena’s eye over Blair’s head, the both of them grinning wide. 

“We’re going to hug you now,” he announces, serious. 

Blair’s long-suffering sigh is muffled by the two of them wrapping their arms around each other, squeezing Blair in the middle. After a breath, her hands slip out to settle over their arms. 

“Whoa,” Nate hears another feminine voice come from the stairs’ general direction, “did I miss something?”

Serena pulls out of the hug first, then Nate, who turns to see Vanessa entering the room, straps of a swimsuit top peeking out from beneath her sundress. 

Nate shares a glance with Serena, still bubbly with excitement, and Blair, who’s eyes may as well be flashing WARNING and DANGER. 

“We – uh…plead the fifth?”

Serena bobs her head in a nod, and Blair slumps back into the couch. 

“Okay…” Vanessa drags out the word. “Well, I was just gonna walk down to the beach, so…” she trails off, and shoots a meaningful look over her shoulder at Serena before slipping outside through the sliding glass doors. 

Serena blinks, then smiles wide. “Bye!” she chirps to her best friends before dashing out the door behind her girlfriend. 

Nate turns back to Blair. 

“Not a word,” she points a finger at him threateningly. 

Nate solemnly draws a cross over his heart, just how they used to make promises to each other when they were kids. He holds his arms open after, and she obliges, throwing her own around his neck in a hug. 

“Congrats, B,” he says sincerely, without an ounce of jealousy or regret. They now both had everything they ever wanted. 

“Thank you,” she says back, equally genuine.

[siswritesyanderes]

Hi! I’m curious: if you had to be the obsession of one yandere from each of your favorite fandoms, who would you choose and why?

Oh, that’s such a good question! I hope I don’t forget any fandoms. (Every time a question like this comes up, I forget all of my interests, lol.) I’m going to go ahead and include a lot of fandoms in this post, regardless of how much I like the thing itself. (I’m clarifying this because you said “favorite fandoms” and these aren’t necessarily my favorites, lol.) Boy, here’s hoping I don’t learn anything about myself, answering this question. Okay, in no particular order:

Harry Potter:

Okay, I’m thinking Newt or Tom Riddle. Newt is really good at caretaking, he’s soft-spoken, and I know from Les Mis that Eddie Redmayne is able to sing (which, in my mind, means Newt can and he’d sing lullabies). Meanwhile, Tom is powerful and, pre-Horcruxes, not too bad-tempered. He’s got followers, which is good for many reasons; he’s not sadistic like Bellatrix; on the whole, he’s a fairly balanced yandere with a surprising number of benefits.

Or Fred and George; they’re prodigies at what they do (They’re pretty much inventors); they’d be self-aware and fun as yanderes; and also they’re canonically kind of ruthless. Yeah, I think I’m settling on Fred and George for this one.

Twilight: 

By the metric of appearance, Seth or Caius. But if I’m taking everything into consideration, maybe Demetri? His power has great yandere potential that would only backfire on me if I’d already escaped, which I probably wouldn’t manage anyway, since I’m a human. He’s high enough in the Volturi that I’d be safe from most everything, but not one of the main three, which is good because I think being Caius or Marcus’s mate would invite a lot of scrutiny from Aro (and he killed Didyme), and being Aro’s might invite sassiness from Caius; just generally, I wouldn’t want to get in on whatever bond they have unless it was a poly thing where they all cared about me. Also, I’d rather avoid Aro’s power if possible, though I suppose having him be yandere for me would be like empirical evidence that even my entire history of thoughts is attractive, which would boost my ego to an absurd degree. You know what, maybe Aro. 

Then there’s also Benjamin, who has a chill personality, awesome power (especially since fire is the thing that kills vampires; being able to control it is like extra immortality on top of the existing immortality), and the innate freedom of not being a part of the Volturi. Yet, if he were to be recruited by the Volturi, you know he’d be as high-ranking as Demetri, if not higher. Again, safety. Demetri, Benjamin, or Aro, on the vampire side. (No Cullens, since they’ve actively provoked the Volturi and I don’t trust their ability to keep me safe. If Cullens were on the table, though, Jasper and Alice.)

Wolf-wise, I feel like Leah would be a really considerate and protective yandere, and since she’s the fastest of the wolves, I think she could get me out of most danger. Maybe Jared, since the only things I know about him are that he has a sense of humor and he can be SUPER manipulative (Like, that “Lee-lee” thing from Breaking Dawn was ruthless.), and that’s a valuable skill in a yandere’s tool belt. But ultimately I guess I would have to choose Jacob, since any of them would be physically unable to disobey him, even under yandere circumstances, so there’s no guarantee they would protect me no matter how much they wanted to. (Also I wouldn’t have to go through the turning process, if I’m with a wolf instead of a vampire.)

Final answer, Aro, Benjamin, or Jacob.

The Hunger Games:

Boy, I would say Snow, because I know he would pull strings for me and give gifts and stuff, but I also feel like he’d be kind of a selfish yandere. Like, he’d be kind when it’s convenient, but he’d ultimately be looking out for his own happiness. I love Finnick, but I feel like yandere traits for him would manifest too selflessly; like, I’d be worried about Finnick, as a yandere. Johanna “There’s no one left I love” Mason would be fiercely protective, but not worryingly selfless. She’d be clingy and spirited and probably beat some people up over me.

Divergent: 

Definitely Peter! He stabbed a guy in the eye in canon! He’s got an intersection of creepy and pragmatic going on, kind of like a human version of Jasper from Twilight, but without the racial baggage. I get that a lot of people thirst after Eric, and Eric definitely has more power than Peter, but his personality doesn’t interest me.

Percy Jackson:

Percy or Leo. Powers and personalities are perfect for yandere. Nico and Will, if they’re bi; I’m not caught up on Trials of Apollo, so I’m not sure.

WAIT, maybe Reyna?? The confidence, the metal dogs...Yeah, Reyna is awesome, too.

Descendants: 

Harry, Uma, and Gil as a unit. Just all three of them at once. They’re pirates, they’re already so steamy and intense about their relationships in canon (or Harry and Uma are, at least), and they’re all very attractive. If I had to choose one, I think Uma. Or Ben, since he’s a really nice guy with a strong moral compass, at least in the first movie (meaning a yandere interpretation of him would most likely become extreme in his morals, rather than corrupt), and he’s the king.

Detroit Become Human:

(I’m literally only making this a category because I find it unbelievable that any yandere Markus is characterized as, like, a rough and dominant yandere.) Markus was a caretaking android for an old man; he would be very loving, understanding, and supportive. His revolutionary energy is not turned against his loved ones. Nothing in canon suggests he would ever be rough with someone he loves. (Connor, meanwhile, is an android cop who is rough with his friends in canon, but lots of fan works characterize him as soft. Puzzling. Maybe uncomfortable, from a racial standpoint, since Markus is a man of color.) 

Also, Ralph is the absolute perfect mix of well-meaning and delusional and intense. Ralph is perfect as a yandere. Why isn’t there more yandere Ralph?? I love Ralph.

And also Jerry, because he’s cheerful and there’s a lot of him. Just a thousand of this one guy, all in love with one person? Yandere gold.

Undertale:

Sans. Or Asgore. Let’s move on. 😅

Legacy of Orïsha:

Roën. Easy. Another pirate, with emotional intelligence and a sense of humor! Self-aware but with a loose moral compass. I love him.

Avatar: The Last Airbender:

Having thought it through, either Jet or Mai; Jet is a charming yet hot-headed rebel, and we’ve already seen what it’s like when he’s like when he takes his ideals to an extreme. He would absolutely flood a town for his loved one, which, now that I’m saying it, shouldn’t be phrased like a desired outcome, but we’re talking yandere here, so it’s fine. 

Mai, meanwhile, would seem dry and casual while also doing the most. She would be satisfied with just sitting in silence, which is chill. And given her wealth, she might ‘gilded cage’ me. Then again, she’s not very forthcoming with praise or positivity in general.

Actually, yeah, just Jet.

MCU:

Listen, I really dislike Wanda in canon, but Wanda and Vision would be the best yanderes. Their powers, Wanda’s tendency to not take responsibility for her actions, there’s a lot there. And, like, she’s generally nice to people she cares about (and Vision is a Mjolnir-lifting sweetheart); she’s pretty much exactly right to be a yandere.

Maybe Nebula, since I want to give Nebula a hug and let her win at tic tac toe or something. She would fire the very biggest guns at anyone who made themself a threat to me, but one-on-one she’s so soft and frank and I love her.

(I want to say M’Baku because Winston Duke seems so lovely, but M’Baku the character seems too strict; we’ve never seen him with a loved one.)

Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You:

Jieun, in his good end, or Jisoo, in his bad end. Look, my friend got me into this game in high school; don’t look at me. Jieun is smart, psychic, very chill, and a king. Jisoo is practically the opposite. Both work very well as yanderes.

[walkerwords]

“Just Like Old Times” Rick Grimes x F!Reader

GIF CREDIT: https://gifer.com/en/AjzT and AMC

Request from Anonymous: “ Here's an idea for Rick x Reader! Rick didn't expect to meet his high-school ultimate crush ever again, he didn't expect to see her in Alexandria after so many years, he didn't knew he'd even recognize her, but he did. She changed a lot but the shine in her eyes when she looked at him with a cheeky smile, spreading her arms, saying "Welcome to Alexandria" – it was definitely her. They do say first love dies last.”

Word Count: 3981

Warning: Swearing?

Song I Wrote To: “Back To You” by Selena Gomes

Note: I really liked writing this one. I am a sucker for the crew showing up at Alexandria and meeting someone they once knew. Thank you for the request!

-------

When the group arrived in Alexandria, led by Aaron and Eric, Rick was on edge immediately. 

He didn’t trust anyone and he knew that the new people were going to be wary of any outsiders who stepped through their walls. Then, of course, Daryl had to shoot an animal and carry it around like a prize, and that only cemented the odd glances the group got as they walked through the gate.

Aaron was sure that Deanna, the leader, was going to welcome Rick and his people with open arms. Alexandria was very particular about who they invited into their walls and she trusted Aaron’s judgment more than anyone else’s.

Walking through the streets of the seemingly untouched community, everything felt wrong. After being on the road for so long, the group was tired, hungry, and had at least four layers of dirt on their skin. Judith squirmed in Rick’s arms as he adjusted her, trying to keep her shielded from the strangers that Aaron led them towards. 

Aaron explained where they were going and a few things about the community itself. They were self-sustaining with the solar panels and even had running water. Rick couldn’t help but be impressed at how modern it seemed, but then again, Woodbury had seemed like a dream too.

Looking over at Daryl, Rick figured the archer was thinking something similar. While Grimes wasn’t ready to write off Alexandria completely, he wasn’t going to let his guard down until he was sure. They had lost too much already to lose something like this with its walls, water, and over all protection. Especially for Judith, Noah, and Carl.

It was then announced that Deanna wanted to speak with them individually in order to establish a connection and assign jobs. Rick had been hesitant at first, but after speaking to both Maggie and Michonne, he relented and followed Aaron into the house, handing off his daughter to his son. 

As soon as the door to Deanna’s house closed, the gate slid open. 

------

You felt exhilarated. 

You usually did after a fight like the one you just had. There were some people that were built for the new world and you just fit in it perfectly. Blood was soaked into your clothes, but you couldn’t care less. You were alive and the Dead, were in pieces. All in a day’s work. 

When you had told Aidan that you were going out that morning he had tried to stop you, as usual, but you had simply smiled at him and skipped from the safety of the Safe Zone. You loved Alexandria, it was home, but there were times when you just needed to get out and do something and so, you did. 

Your good mood was soon challenged by the look on Aidan Monroe’s face as you walked towards him. Nicholas shut the gate behind you, muttering under his breath about how reckless you were, but you ignored him

 “What’s that face for?” you asked, catching up to Aidan who picked off a piece of bone from your shoulder with a grimace. 

“Aaron found new people,” Aidan said. 

“Why so glum? He always brings in stragglers,” you said, knocking your boot against the curb of the street trying to dislodge any extra gore before tracking it in further. 

“It’s not just a few people, (Y/N),” Aidan said. “It’s fourteen, plus a baby.” You froze in your steps and looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Fourteen?” 

“Yeah, and the leader seems like a real piece of work,” Aidan said. “Honestly, he kind of scares me.” 

“Damn,” you said, trying to imagine what Aaron was thinking when approaching a group that size. You were even more curious as to how he managed to get them to say yes. 

“I have to go help my dad with something, but be on your guard,” Aidan warned and you punched his chest lightly. 

“Don’t worry about me, Monroe. I am very well versed in strangers,” you said with a wink as you pushed on ahead, desperate for a shower. As you headed towards your house, you could see your many neighbors all looking towards Deanna’s place and you just knew they were trying to get the dirt on the new people. 

Curiosity got the best of you and instead of going straight home, you turned down the other street and began walking towards a group of scruffy travelers.

You spotted the baby immediately. The little thing was in the arms of a young boy, its small body wrapped in a soft but dirty blanket as the teenager rocked back and forth trying to soothe the poor thing. You couldn’t even imagine what would it be like to have a child in the new world, let alone one so small. 

As you neared them, you finally got a better look at the hat that was sitting on the kid’s head. It was oddly familiar.

“You know,” you said, approaching him, “the deputies where I used to live used these same kind of hats.” The teenager looked at you and if he was surprised at your appearance it didn’t show on his face. You did, however, gain the attention of others in his group. You noticed on in particular, a burly man with a crossbow and a possum hanging from his fingers was watching you with close eyes. You ignored him. 

“It’s a King County Sheriff hat,” the boy said, pushing the brim up slightly. 

“No shit,” you said, your brows rising into your bloodied hairline. “That’s my neck of the woods. You’re from King?” he nodded. “Huh, yeah I used to live there. I guess the world is gettin’ smaller after all.” The kid gave you a small smile, but before he could say anything else, the door to your leader’s house opened and a man walked out, his cowboy boots scuffing across the chipped, stone steps. He was tall and just by looking at him you knew that Aidan was right. This man was scary. 

However, there was something incredibly familiar about him. 

After checking on the boy in the hat, his eyes then flickered to you and he froze. His eyes scanned you from head to toe, starting at your bloodied face and going to your gore-laden boots and back up. You were about to ask what the hell his problem was when he opened his mouth and said, “(Y/N)?”

The world around your froze as the Georgia accent reached your ears. You knew that voice or at least some part of you remembered, considering how your heart jumped as soon as he spoke.

Taking a step forward, you narrowed your eyes, trying to see something that was missing. It took you a moment, but then you were able to finally see it. Behind all the dirt, the dried blood, and the very horrendous beard, there was a man you never thought you would see again. Your high school sweetheart, the one who got away, Rick Grimes. 

“Oh my god…” you whispered, taking another step. “Rick?” Grimes was hesitant at first, but then he was walking towards you, his people parting like the sea for their leader. He reached a hand out to you as if to brush away the blood, but then he took you by the arms and pulled you into his chest. 

Your arms went up and tightened around him, holding on for dear life. “I thought you hated growing a beard,” you said into his chest and you could feel the chuckle that vibrated through him at your joke. 

“Very funny,” he said, pressing his face into your hair. When you pulled back, you tried to wipe off the blood that you had transferred to his filthy clothes, but he didn’t seem to mind. Looking up into those cool blue eyes felt like for once, everything was going to be okay. 

“You’re alive?” you asked, reaching out to touch him again, afraid he was a mirage or that you were actually dead and not as victorious as you first thought. 

“I’m alive,” he confirmed. Blinking back the tears that settled in your eyes you laughed, trying to make sense of everything that was going on. 

“Well, uh, then let me be the one to say, welcome to Alexandria.”

--------

Later that night, everyone wanted answers. 

As the group settled into one of the houses that Deanna had provided, everyone looked at Rick expectantly. “I guess you have questions,” a freshly shaven Rick said as he leaned against the back of the couch. 

“You know her,” Carl said.

“I did,” Rick said. “(Y/N) and I knew each other when we were around your age, Carl. We dated in high school. She was the last person I was with before Lori. I honestly never thought I would see her again.” 

“What are the odds that she would be here of all places?” Tara asked as she leaned into Glenn’s side, trying to keep her eyes open. Nobody was willing to blindly sleep yet. Rick and Daryl were already making a plan to take the first watch shifts as well.

“Do you trust her?” Michonne asked Rick. He was quiet for a moment before sighing. 

“I did once,” he admitted, “but I don’t know what she’s been doin’ this whole time?”

“She was covered in blood when she hugged you,” Noah said awkwardly. 

“Deanna’s son said she was on a run,” Maggie explained. 

“We could ask Aaron about her,” offered Carl. 

“Maybe it would be best to hear it from her instead of others,” Rosita put in. “I think we all would feel a bit better knowing more about these people and if Rick has a history with one…”

“She’s got a point, man,” added Abraham.

Rick nodded, but when he went to say something else, there was a knock at the door. Still not used to the concept of knocking or even proper walls, Rick slowly approached the door and opened it hesitantly. When he saw that it was Deanna, he opened it fully.

“Rick, I--” Deanna began and then froze as she looked up at the former officer. “Wow.” Rick groaned as Deanna stared at his now beardless face. “I didn't know what was under there,” she joked and Rick rolled his eyes, already getting enough comments from his people. “Listen, I don't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling,” she said and then looked around the room. “Oh, my. Staying together. Smart.”

“No one said we couldn't,” Rick rebutted. Deanna smiled at him.

“You said you're a family,” Deanna recalled, “That's what you said. Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?” Michonne glanced at Rick with a knowing look that clearly said, “play nice”.

“Everybody said you gave them jobs,” said Rick.

“Part of this place,” Deanna said with a nod, “looks like the communists won after all.”

“You didn’t give me one,” Rick said. 

“I have,” she said. “I just haven't told you yet. Same with Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha.” Deanna then looked at Daryl who was sitting protectively near Judith. “And I'm just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out, but I will.” Daryl turned his eyes toward the window, ignoring the woman. “Well, I will let you get some rest and then tomorrow, maybe you can take a turn about the place. I hear you may already have a friend here,” she said with a knowing look. 

Deanna nodded to the rest of the group and then turned to go. Just before Rick was about to close the door, he spotted you. You stood just outside the house, leaning casually against a light post, arms and ankles both crossed. Deanna smiled at you as she walked towards her house. 

“I’ll be right outside,” Rick told Carl who was nearest to him and then stepped onto the porch, shutting the door behind him. 

“There’s the Rick I remember,” you said as he approached you. 

“I don’t remember you being this bad with jokes,” Rick said. 

“Who said I was joking?” you said with a smile. Rick stopped in front of you, noting the lack of blood and gore this time. “How are your people doing?” you asked.

“They’re on alert,” Rick explained. 

“Makes sense,” you said. “I was the same way.” 

“What happened to you, (Y/N)?” 

“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath, “after the first few outbreaks happened, I tried to find my parents. Never did, but I managed to get out of the county and tried to get to Atlanta. If you didn’t know, Atlanta is not somewhere anyone wants to be right now.”

“I know, we saw it,” he said. 

“So, you know that I high tailed my ass out of there. I hooked up with a group shortly after and we traveled together for a while. Then, of course, as always, the world catches up with you. There were only about four fighters in the group, myself included. One night the building we were staying in collapsed. Its beams and walls were already weak so nobody was surprised when they started to crumble. The noise attracted the Dead and only two of us got out alive. I and a young woman named Natasha walked for days, but then she got sick and I had to…” you stopped, trying to shake the memory out of your mind. 

“Aaron found me a day or so later and took me here. That was about three months ago. I’m a bit of an outsider, but Aidan, Deanna’s son, he’s nice. He’s a bit of a moron when it comes to what happens outside of the walls, but nice nonetheless. I definitely prefer speaking to him than his asshole brother, Spencer. Alexandria is a good place with good people but they do not understand how to survive. Aaron is as close as it gets when it comes to a good survivor here.” 

“Then why stay?” Rick asked. “If you feel as if you are such an outsider?”

“Walls,” you said simply. “I was so tired of sleeping with one eye open. However, I’ve never forgotten what’s out there and neither should you.” 

“I don’t plan to,” Rick promised. You smiled at that, seeing the resolve he had built up over the years.

“So, that’s your boy? The one in the hat? Lori’s boy?” 

“Yeah,” Rick said, glancing back towards the house. “The little one is mine too, Lori’s as well.” 

“And Lori?” you asked, noticing she wasn’t with the group. You had known Lori in school and had gotten along with her well enough. It didn’t surprise you all that much when Rick ended up with her after your break up. She was the stereotypical good girl and you knew she had always liked Rick.

“She died giving birth to Judith,” Rick explained. “It’s just me and them now.” 

“I’m sorry, Rick,” you said and you meant it. “If you ever need me to tell Carl any embarrassing stories about his mom, I am volunteering right now.” Rick laughed at that. 

“I will keep that in mind. Thank you,” he said and you smiled back. “What about you? Did you ever marry?”

“I did,” you said. “He was a doctor, a damn good one too. He was attacked in his ER when this whole thing exploded. Damn thing tore his throat out.”

“Jesus Christ,” Rick swore, running a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry. Did you have kids or?”

“No, no, not yet,” you said. “We thought maybe one day, but Will and I decided to wait. I guess we both have shit to deal with, huh?”

“Seems that way,” Rick agreed. 

“I should let you get some sleep,” you said, pushing off the post. 

“Yeah, I should go check on Judith before Daryl puts her in a bubble wrap suit to keep her safe,” Rick joked. 

“Sounds to me like you got a damn good bunch, Grimes. I’m glad you found a family in this.” Rick looked at you with sad eyes and you waved him off. “Don’t do that cowboy, I am okay with bein’ alone. Always liked solitude.”

“I remember,” Rick whispered. You sent him a wink as you turned to go. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I ain’t going anywhere,” you called back over your shoulder as you skipped towards home. Rick watched you go and couldn’t help but think just how small the universe was getting after all.

-----

The next day, while the others went exploring, Rick was visited by his new neighbor. 

When the knock came at his door, he was hoping it would be you, but instead, there was a friendly blonde woman. Jessie introduced herself and offered to cut Rick’s hair in which he gratefully accepted. There was a small part of him that was hoping you would start to see him as someone you once loved, however, he also knew that you both were very different people now. 

Jessie spoke candidly as she trimmed and snipped hair in Rick’s kitchen. He learned a lot about the community and was surprised to hear that Deanna had built such a functioning society in the new world. 

Rick also wasn’t blind to how flirtatious the woman was. She was beautiful, he could see that much, but she was also married and she wasn’t you.

When Deanna invited everyone to her house for a party, Daryl and Sasha had walked from the room immediately. 

However, after the promise of food and actual alcohol, everyone agreed to try, even with their reservations. As soon as Rick and the others entered the house, it was as if they were stepping back in time. Glenn and Abraham immediately went for the beer while Deanna pulled Rick to the side to introduce him to Reg, her husband.

After exchanging a conversation about fourteen lives and walls, Rick excused himself. He walked through the room, Judith balanced on his hip as he made the rounds. Jessie was there with her husband who didn’t exactly look friendly. Rick made sure to make a note about him.

Just as Jessie was about to make her way over, a hand slid across Rick’s shoulder. “Figured you may want this,” you said, offering him a glass of scotch. 

“Are you having one?” he asked and with a snort, you picked up your own glass from the side table. 

“Already on it,” you said, raising your glass to clink against his. He took a small pull of it as you downed half in one go. 

“Still not a lightweight, I see,” Rick noted. 

“I feel like I’m immune to it these days,” you said with a sigh. “You okay?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Rick drawled. You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Oh, don’t you pull that accent with me,” you warned as he thickened his Southern accent. 

“You always liked it,” Rick recalled. 

“I liked it too much,” you said, sitting into your hip. “Besides, I was hoping that cute, grungy one would be around. Where is Daryl this fine evening?” 

“Ha. Ha,” Rick said with a roll of his eyes. You beamed up at him and then Judith hiccupped in his arms, pulling all of your attention. “You like that?” Rick asked his daughter, shifting her so you could see her more clearly. “Judith, this is (Y/N). She is someone your momma knew and someone I care a lot about.” Your brows quirked at that last line, but you kept your eyes on the child. 

“You are just the sweetest thing,” you said capturing the hand she reached out with your index finger. “Lucky kid to have a daddy like this,” you whispered, but then she started to fuss and you backed away. 

“It’s not you, trust me,” Rick said. “I know what she wants,” he said with a sigh as he raised a finger, asking you to wait before walking over to Maggie. Hearing Judith, Maggie immediately smiled and eagerly reached for the baby. As soon as Judith was settled in her arms, she was still again, happily content to be with her aunt. 

When Rick rejoined you, he shrugged. “Maggie was the first one to hold Judith after she was born and she is usually the only one who can do that.”

“Next time I’m on a run, I’ll pick you up some parenting books. I bet I can find ‘How To Raise a Little Girl in the Apocalypse’.”

“I will happily accept that,” he said. Glancing around the room, you nodded your head towards the back porch. He gestured for you to go first, grabbing his scotch on the way.  The two of you stood out in the cool air. You were grateful for the silence that the yard provided rather than the crowded house. 

“Saw you with Jessie earlier,” you began. “You gotta be careful of Pete. That man is no good.”

“I had a feeling,” Rick sighed. 

“Man hits her and I pray he doesn’t hit the boys, but I can’t be sure.”

“How is he still living here?” 

“He’s the only doctor we got and as much as I would love to throw his ass to a herd or kill him myself, it’s not my call. It’s Deanna’s. Just keep your eye on him, yeah?”

“I will,” he promised. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Rick,” you said. 

“I almost wasn’t,” he said and at your confusion, he told you the story of how he was shot and ended up in a coma before everything had gone downhill. 

“I can’t even imagine that,” you said. “Waking up in this world. You must have thought you were in a nightmare.”

“I didn’t know what to think. I just knew that I had to find Lori and Carl. We talked about how bad Atlanta was, but without me going into that city on that day, Glenn never would have found me. He brought me home to my family.” 

“Damn, that is incredibly lucky,” you said, leaning against the railing of the porch.

“Not so much luck followed,” he said. “We’ve been through a lot since then.”

“And yet, you still made it to the infamous safe zone,” you said brightly. 

“Yeah, I did. I made it to you,” Rick said plainly and you gasped slightly, not expecting those words at all. 

“Rick,” you began but he shook his head, taking your hands in his. 

“I’ve never believed in fate,” he said. 

“I remember,” you whispered. 

“I can’t ignore this sign. I won’t. Not after everything that we have both been through. I mean, they do say that first love dies last,” he said, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. 

“They do say that, don’t they?” you responded. 

“You always did feel like comin’ home, (Y/N),” Rick admitted. 

“Does this mean you’re gonna stay?” you asked, eager for his answer. 

“Maybe, but with you, I have a lot of incentive now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, pulling him closer to you. “Walls or not, I am not going to let you go after we just found each other again. Home is more than a place, you know?”

“Ain’t that the truth,” he drawled, causing you to blush. “Ah, just like old times.”

“Indeed, Cowboy, indeed,” you said as you pulled him in for a kiss. It was subtle and gentle, but you have never felt more alive. Rick kissed you back, his hand coming up to tighten on the back of your neck as he once did all those years ago. When he pulled back, he grinned at you. 

“Well, wasn’t that quite the welcome wagon,” he joked and with a roll of your eyes, you pulled him back in. Behind you, the party was completely forgotten.

TAGS: @thanossexual​ @yes-sir-hotchner​  @felicisimor

[rebelwrites]

One More Chance - Part One

Clay Spenser x Reader

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Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

A grin played on your lips as you pulled onto your older brother's driveway, he you hadn’t told him that you were coming as you wanted it to be a surprise.

When he told you about the bbq welcoming the newest member to Bravo you told him you couldn’t make it, because you knew you wanted it to be a surprise. So you snuck quietly around the house and the moment you saw him you dropped your bag on the ground running full speed at him, jumping on his back, clinging to him like a koala bear.

“Surprise dickhead” you yelled down his ear.

“You do know I knew you were here right” he laughed reaching back ruffling your hair up. “You car isn’t exactly quiet”

“How did you know it was mine?” You smirked.

“Because I helped build the fucking thing you idiot” he laughed “Now get the fuck of me you annoying lump”

“I drive for the whole day to surprise you and this is how you treat me” you gasped jumping off him back. “That’s a low blow Bro”

“I see you are still dramatic” he laughed pulling you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head. “I’ve missed you baby sis”

“Don’t get soppy on me Jase” you warned as you gently connected your fist against his jaw “because I will punch you. Now come on I wanna meet the new guy I wanna see if he’s cute”

“Ahhhh there’s the Y/N/N I know” Sonny grinned walking over from the massive fire pit, pushing Jase out of the way and pulling you into a bone crushing hug. “How’s my favourite girl doing?”

“Better now I’ve left that dickhead” you laughed.

“Good I hated that idiot, but the new kid is very much your type” Sonny winked “and is around your age”

“Jheeze Sonny she’s only been here for like five minutes and you are tryna set her up already” Ray said hitting Sonny round the back of his head “now I want a hug quit hogging her”

“You boys never change” you smiled as you were pulled into Ray’s arms. Yes Jason was your brother but so where the guys doesn’t matter if you weren’t blood or not. Once you finally had made it round everyone you finally grabbed a beer and was leaning against Jase’s shoulder. “So where's this new kid then?”

“Oi Spenser” Jase shouted “get your ass here, there’s one member of this team you haven’t met yet”

The moment Jase said the name, chills ran down your bones, it couldn’t be could it?

As he came into view, your heart started racing, your palms went clammy, there was no way this was the same skinny 18 year old that you once knew.

“Clay, this is probably the most important person in the team, more important than Blackburn or me” Jase grinned.

“Yeah I have to agree with you on that one” Eric grinned.

“Wait Y/N?” Clay asked in disbelief, taking a step forward.

The words were caught in your throat, you never thought you’d see him again, especially when he broke your heart all them years ago and fucking stomped it into the ground. Jase obviously didn’t remember the history otherwise he wouldn’t be standing here a part of Bravo.

“Don’t” you snapped, as you fought back tears, you needed to get away from him, all the emotions you thought you had buried were resurfacing and if you didn’t take yourself out of this situation then someone was getting punched.

The thing was you and Clay were high school sweethearts, and was completely and utterly in love. That was until he broke your heart one day, out of nowhere he told you everything he felt was fake, no explanation or nothing. Leaving you to spend numerous nights crying in your Jase’s arm and constantly getting drunk. It was also the reason you had trust issues when it came to dating.

As you tried to make a run for it, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you, picking you up off the ground.

“Take a breath” Jase whispered against your head as he glared at Clay, he wasn’t a hundred percent sure what had just happened but the moment you laid eyes on him something switched, Jase had never seen you like this before for years, not since your highschool boyfriend broke up with you. That’s when he connected the dots. “It’s him isn’t it?” He whispered, lifting your chin up, wiping away the few tears that had escaped. “The asshole that broke your heart when you were eighteen”

“Yes” you mumbled as you watched Jase’s expression change in a matter of seconds.

“I’m sorry” he sighed “I should have realised”

“It’s not your fault” you nodded as he let you go.

Everything happened so fast once he wasn’t holding on to you, he charged at Clay grabbing the neck of his shirt, slamming him against the wall.

“IT WAS FUCKING YOU” Jase growled in Clay’s face, you tried to stop him but Ray was holding you back. “YOU’RE THE ONE THAT BROKE MY BABY SISTERS HEART”

“I’m sorry man” Clay gulped.

“Sorry doesn’t take the pain away, sorry doesn’t take away the night where she sobbed into my arms until she finally fell asleep or the amount of times I found her drunk trying to pick fights to feel something other than the pain of a heartbreak” Jase spat, balling his fist by his side. “Leaving me with the constant fear of being informed that she got so drunk she was found in a ditch or worse”

Everyone knew what was going to happen if they didn’t step in, it took Ray, Eric and Sonny to pull Jase away from Clay, holding him back.

“You knew didn’t you, you knew when you joined the team who I was related to” Jase screamed. “I should have never chosen you to be a brother. You don’t deserve to be in this fucking team”

“Come on Jase, walk it off” Ray snapped.

“Why should I, you knew how broken Y/N was” Jase sighed.

“I know man I know, but this isn’t helping matters” Ray said “Baby Hayes needs us right now, you know this has stirred up old wounds she thought she had closed, she doesn’t need you going on a killing spree”

“Jase just leave it” you whispered, the sound of your voice on the brink of breaking was like a bucket of cold water being thrown over him. Within seconds he was by your side pulling you into his arms.

“It’s your call sis” he whispered. “You get the say on whether he stays in the team or not”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitsnicolexo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading

[malereader-inserts]

Count On Us

Fandom: Twilight Pairing: Cullen family & Son!Brother!Reader Summary: When you’re on your knees, your family is quick to pull you up - because you shouldn’t face this all by yourself Word Count:  1591 Request: Could you make a cullen family x male reader where the reader goes through a tough break up so everyone decides to devise different plans on how to make him feel better

“Did you hear?” The Cullens perked their ears up, always loving drama with these mundane humans, they hadn’t been in school for a week since there was sun out but you, their human brother had been in all week.

They hadn’t seen anything abnormal from you, you didn’t seem like you were struggling about your homework or any of your subjects, nor have the teachers been giving you stick about anything so your siblings thought nothing of it.

“Oh yeah, (Y/n) Cullen?” Another giggled, trying to keep their conversation to themselves, “Heard he got into a messy breakup, they apparently-”

Just as they were about to reveal to the Cullens why your significant other, rather your ex now, had broken up with you. You had interrupted them as you slam the door shut before glaring at the group of girls huddling.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than talk about my love life?” You seethed, Jasper had to hold your shoulders from attacking because you were radiating such anger that Jasper was concerned because he didn’t know you could produce so much feeling. 

“Sorry-” They muttered as they walked into the school as you rolled your eyes.

Snatching yourself away from Jasper’s hold and stomping away to your locker. Rosalie was taken aback with your attitude on how you were muttering incoherent words that your siblings cannot pick any words. 

“I didn’t see anything,” Alice shrugged her shoulders as they looked over to Edward, who also looked confused before shrugging his shoulders as well.

“I can’t read anything from him.” Bella came up to them, smiling at Edward, but wasn’t expecting a question from him, “Bella, what happened to (Y/N)?”

“Oh?” Bella started, tensing up awkwardly, “He got broken up, public too, Monday’s lunch at the cafeteria. They went hysterical, they were shouting before announcing they were cheating on him.”

“That little bitch-!” Rosalie seethed, to think she had liked your ex a lot too.

“Not to mention, when he got explosive - which I don’t blame him, she threw her smoothie which she had made just for that lunch,” Bella explained, scratching the back of her neck, “I would have thought he would told you but I guess he’s taking it harder than he gives out. Then again, Mike did hear him cry a bit in the boys’ toilet.”

“Well, he’s good at hiding his thoughts and feelings,” Emmett commented as Jasper and Edward was visibly uncomfortable as they weren’t able to detect you.

They waited till lunch to come around, despite being in some of their lessons, you made no effort to talk to your siblings. Jasper could feel sadness and anger radiate from you, but it was the sadness that threw him off. He would expected you to feel anger, betrayal and perhaps even annoyance but sadness was something he did not expect. Edward was unsettled that your mind was just blank, you weren’t thinking at all, not even in your maths lesson shared with him. 

As lunch came around, you hadn’t appeared. Bella was with the Cullens as Erik ran up to their table.

“Hey did you hear?” Eric asked, momentarily forgetting the Cullens were there as he talked to Bella, “Apparently, (Y/n) is getting done for slashing his ex’s car’s tires.”

“But, he’s a sweetheart, he wouldn’t ever do that, not even if he’s pissed off,” Bella says, confused.

“Yeah, I know! His ex is gone psycho against him and he’s done nothing wrong - I heard he walked back home. He packed his bag half way through third period and left, missing forth and obviously lunch.”

And so, the group of siblings decided enough was enough, they couldn’t let you suffer alone.

When the group of vampires arrive home, the house was still. Cold and very much not lived in. Nothing of the sort had seemed to be moved, as if you hadn’t returned home. The only indication of you being home that put them at ease was your shoes in the garage and your poorly put away jacket lying about before entering the house.

Rosalie went to find you, after all, she knows what it’s like to be cheated and frankly despite her horrid attitude towards Bella, she has a high emotional intelligence without powers. So, she had found you in your room, and you were under your duvet. She could hear your heart beat, she had let her shoulders relax as she sees you shifted underneath. She sits on the bed and pats you.

“(Y/n)?” She asked softly, whilst she was getting you up, Alice had informed Esme - who had returned home at the same time - of your situation, “Esme is cooking you dinner, wanna peak out for me?”

She knew you hated being treated a child, so it was the quickest way for you to emerge. You pulled the duvet down, eyes very much red and you had a little sniffle but there was a glare within your stare.

“Not a child,” You muttered.

“You alright?” Rosalie asked, placing a comforting hand upon your shoulder, “We heard about your ex and-”

“It’s stupid,” You interrupted, waving her off.

She kept a firm hand on you, “You know you’re not alone, and it’s your first relationship. I don’t expect you, I mean, we don’t expect you to be fine. It’s okay to be upset.”

You sighed, sitting up and looked at her with teary eyes, “I guess,” there was a pause to your words as you tried to not break down and cry, “Why didn’t they want me? Was I not good enough for them?”

“Aw, sweetie...” Rose knew what you felt, the cheating makes you think you were never good enough. She held you tight in her embrace as you let out small sobs.

You’ll never trust again, building trust would be hard for you and it was because of your ex. You didn’t deserve this, the family says, you don’t deserve to feel like you weren’t worthy of love and question what had gone wrong during your relationship. It was unfair and unjust. 

“You’re always good enough, don’t let them dictate what you feel and what you are. You are always worthy of love, you had never done anything wrong. You were the good one,” Rosalie firmly spoke, as you look in her eyes, “Okay? You hear me?”

You nodded meekly as Esme calls you down. Rose gives you a kiss upon your temple as you rubbed your tears away before darting down the stairs to the kitchen. Esme makes your favourite food for tea, you smiled weakly as she ruffles your hair. Kisses your head, and gives you a tight hug. She doesn’t need to mention the elephant in the room, you were thankful. 

Your mother talks, how brilliant her son is. How you’ve done so well in classes and your extra curriculum. She does anything to talk about you, positively, stop you from thinking you’re anything but that. As you finished your food, she sweeps away your plate and shoves you dessert, giving you eyes saying just this once. 

As you eat your dessert happily, Emmett pulls you outside to play some baseball. Your brothers, Jasper and Edward laugh as you protest. But, the three of them only do it just to keep your mind busy, away from your heartbreak. 

They had heard you cry, utter the words of doubt and refuse to let you feel that again. Jasper tries to teach you how he does the bat trick, but you had failed miserably and hit yourself more than you liked. 

Emmett was pitching, and yet, every time you manage to hit the ball. It went either went straight to Emmett’s mitt or to Edward, who reassures you with more practice you’ll get better. The baseball game only stopped them Emmett accidentally let go off the ball too early, resulting to Alice saving you from getting smacked in the head with a concussion as she catches the ball, inches away from your shocked face.

“I think that’ll be enough, thank you!” Alice calls, throwing the ball to Emmett and pulling you indoors.

You wave away from your brothers, who snicker at Emmett. Alice brings you into your room, calling for an intervention for your wardrobe to be cleaned out. Despite your complains you help her, you throw away the clothes you didn’t want nor fitted in anymore - Alice threw some that wasn’t in your fashion sense either. You spent an hour or so, cleaning and dancing about in your room. 

Carlisle came home, Esme welcomed him and told him about your unfortunate breakup. Carlisle’s heart broke but was fixed when Esme had filled in the fact that your siblings were there to pick you up. So, when you were released from Alice’s grasp, you hid in your father’s office.

He laughs as you tuck yourself in the corner, a book in your lap, just wanting a few minutes to breath ad some peace and quiet.

“How are you feeling?” Carlisle asked, ruffling your hair and kissing your head, “Feeling better I presume?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, smiling brightly up at your dad, “I really do.”

“Well, you can always count on us, you don’t have to be alone.” Carlisle reminded you as you nodded, the sincerity written all over your face.

“I know, and I’m thankful for that.”

You love your siblings, and you never have to doubt their love for you. Because when you’re at your weakest, they’re always there to pick you right back up.

[theeternalblue]

“Sarge? We’re going to be late!” Eric shouts, ready to knock on Archie’s door. They are supposed to be at the Pembrooke in less than forty minutes and he’s not about to go working without a proper breakfast. At the pace they are working on the reconstruction much less.

Since there’s no answer, he knocked. It’s not like Archie to sleep in - it’s something you lose in the army. “C’mon, I’m not about to get scolded by your bossy high school sweetheart.”

But then the door opens and Eric feels a twinge of guilty when he sees Veronica emerge from the room instead of Sarge. It’s quickly replaced by a sense of pride and a smirk because it’s clear she spends the night.

“Umm-“

Veronica chuckles. “Don’t worry. I’ve been called much worse before for less. And I won’t dare to scold anyone if I’m late myself. Not that much of a hypocrite,” she quips, leaning against the jamb of the door.

“I thought you were staying at the Five Seasons?” Eric asks but it’s mostly to tease her. It’ll be priceless material for later. “You know, while your place is being renovated.”

“I was.” There’s a smile on her face that says much more than she’ll admit, and then Archie finally appears when he opens the bathroom door.

He’s whistling but he stops immediately when he feels two pairs of eyes on him. He blushes but refrains from saying anything.

“Good morning, Sarge,” Eric jokes, almost laughing at the awkwardness etched on Archie’s face.

But then Jughead leaves his room, looking hungover, bleary eyed and like he had a rough night. It takes him one look around the scene and he dryly says, “that explains the singing in the shower. Ronnie’s back so Archiekins is back.” He pushes Archie out of his way to the bathroom, not paying attention to the way his childhood friend furiously blushes.

Eric snorts a laugh.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this.” Archie sighs.

“Boys, leave my Archiekins alone,” Veronica says, going to his side and enjoying the way he smiles when she placed a hand on his cheek to gently kiss the other. “Let’s go for breakfast at Pop’s. My treat.”

“Not a treat if I have to serve,” Jughead offers as his head pops out through the door.

“Shut it, Torombolo.”

[rikki-bennett]

(FEATHER RHIANNON "RIKKI" LAURENT MOREAU) who looks an awful lot like (ADELAIDE KANE) has just been seen around Port Whitley!  Apparently (SHE) is a (27) year old (FEMALE) born on (DECEMBER 17TH) and has been in the city for (1 YEAR) and is a (SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER). If there is a quote to describe them it would be “STOP MAKING COMPARISONS. THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE COMPETING WITH IS YOUR PAST SELF, WHICH SHOULDN’T BE HARD BECAUSE YOU WERE A TRAIN WRECK FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.” - But we have yet to make up our mind if that is accurate.

Feather Rhiannon Laurent Moreau was raised in what could be considered an unconventional environment. Her hometown was in the depths of Mississippi, just a half hour outside Biloxi. The words “Bible belt” come to mind when looking at the town, but her upbringing was anything but conservative. Her parents, Eric and Daisy, were what could be considered hippies. Marriage was never for the pair of childhood sweethearts and neither was monogamy. When Rikki was five, her mother began seriously dating a doctor named Miguel. She considers him her father as well and loves him as much as she loves her biological father.

Despite thriving on the unexpected, Rikki’s parents were loving and very serious about education. School was of the utmost importance. It was largely due to this that Rikki graduated high school a year early and was well on her way to Ole Miss. After a disastrous, humiliating relationship, she decides to move to Vegas.

A need to put herself through college is what sends her to the pole and it’s there that she truly finds herself as her own woman. It’s also in said strip club that she meets the love of her life. It’s passionate, deeper than anything she’s ever felt before, what causes her to tattoo his name on her abdomen, and what inspires her to go back to school.

Long distance was a bitch and it broke even the strongest of relationships, even one that Rikki was sure would result in marriage instead of a debilitating breakup and an unplanned pregnancy. Having a baby by herself wasn’t in her plans, but nine months later, Ashton came into the world.

Moving to Connecticut was never in the cards until a job opportunity presented itself. Rikki now works during the day and goes to school at night while taking care of Ashton.

Headcanons:

Rikki is the youngest of four and was born three months premature. Her older siblings are Meadow, Lark, and Orion.

She speaks French and Spanish fluently, the latter thanks to her “step” father, Miguel.

Her father is a farm-to-table chef with a successful restaurant in Biloxi and her mother works as the restaurant’s manager.

Has an allergy to coconut, monks fruit, and kiwi

Has a Bernese Mountain Dog named Moose

On top of running a business’s social media account, she’s an influencer on the side but doesn’t post pictures of Ashton in order to keep his privacy. 

Can rap, but despite being an ex-stripper, she is a terrible dancer

Connections:

Friends/neighbors

Her boss (any business that needs a social media manager for their account???)

[hurricanery]

What’s a Soulmate? Pt. 2

Hi! This is part two of my previous fic. Amelink AU- ‘What if Amelia and Link had met at a different time in their lives?’ This part is basically the same timeline, from a different point of view. Thanks so much for reading the last part and for sending feedback! ALSO THIS IS LONGGG. sorry

tw: drug use

-------

Amelia Shepherd is 5 years old when she discovers that nothing is ever promised to you. By definition, she learns uncertainty. That your world can be ripped from right underneath you. The feeling is always there.

Age 5 is a blur for Amelia. She remembers everyone doting on her. Her mom and her sisters and her brother. But, that might not be the right word. She’d learn later that the feeling she was experiencing was suffocating. That’s the word she’d been looking for. The people in her life that were once so blissfully unaware, suddenly so overcareful around her.

By age 7 the suffocating feeling had slowed. Maybe her family had moved on from their need to keep tabs on her. Or maybe they’d genuinely grown tired of her. Either way, the feeling was replaced with a new one. She’d love to fantasize. Especially at night. She’d lay in bed and pretend she wasn’t herself. Staring up above her, she’d imagine the ceiling opening up. And then the roof would be flying off. And she would go with it. Not as a person, but a part of the wind and the clouds. She’d float up to the sky and be with her Dad.

Sometimes, she’d think so hard about this, that there would no longer be feeling associated with it. It would just be reality. And it was numb. When this happened, Amelia would tiptoe out of bed and down the hall toward Derek’s room. Derek was always really good at making her realize that the roof was still there. She was made to realize a lot of things at such a young age. She’d look at her older sister, Nancy, who carried herself in such a stoic way, and realize that pain was better when it was hidden. She’d look at Derek, who flinched at almost every loud noise and sudden movement, and realize that she never wanted to look vulnerable. She’d watch discreetly as her mother sat alone at the kitchen table, spacing out as she sipped her coffee, completely jaded by everything she’d been through in the last couple years. Her parents were soulmates. High school sweethearts. Completely each others’ person. She’d look at her mother now and realize that there was no such thing as soulmates.

_______

Amelia is 9 years old when she starts to feel again.

The moving trucks roll slowly down the street and the Shepherd children watch from their front lawn as they disappear. The front door of what used to be their home swings open and their mother comes barreling out, juggling two more boxes.

“Derek!” She beckons. “Come and grab one of these.”

Derek quickly runs to help his mother.

“And the rest of you- don’t just stand there! There’s a few more things inside!”

They load up the minivan and suddenly there’s not much left to do but to say their goodbyes to an empty house. Say their goodbyes to a home and all the memories associated with it. It was time to start new.

_______

The car ride to their new neighborhood is long and boring and Amelia sits all the way in the back, crammed alongside the last of the moving boxes like she’s an object being moved herself. That’s how she’s starting to feel, at least. Like an inanimate object being transported against her will. Her 3 older sisters occupy the seats in front of her, sharing headphones and giggling amongst themselves every few minutes. Derek, who’s seated passenger side next to their mother, turns around with searching eyes. He catches Amelia's gaze through the cracks between headrests and smiles at her in an assuring manner. He doesn’t turn away until Amelia reluctantly smiles back.

The minivan finally pulls into a quiet suburban neighborhood and stops in the driveway of their new home. Before the car is even put into park, Derek and Nancy are jumping out and running toward the house. Lizzie and Kathleen follow quickly after them while Amelia remains trapped in the backseat. She sighs. All she has to do is climb over the middle seat but she can’t seem to bring herself to do it.

“Come on, Amy,” she hears her mother’s impatient voice from outside of the car. The tone forces her out of her frozen position and she finally starts climbing over the seat. When her feet hit the pavement, she looks up at the house. She shifts her gaze to her mother incredulously and before Amelia can even say anything, her mother is grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward.

Out of the corner of her eye, Amelia sees movement across the street. As her mother pulls her toward the house, Amelia turns her head fully to meet the movement. She watches as a boy, about her age, drops his baseball mitt onto the grass and chases after his father. He’s laughing as his dad teases him about wanting macaroni and cheese again for dinner. The boy follows his dad inside and the whole time Amelia is listening to the sound of his voice as he argues playfully. Amelia finds herself smiling at the interaction. She doesn’t know why, but something about the boy’s playful energy sparks something in her. She feels excited, she thinks, at the idea of this boy being her friend.

_______

A couple of hours later, and the idea is becoming closer to reality for Amelia. When 9 year-old Atticus Lincoln stumbles through an awkward introduction on the sidewalk in front of her new home, Amelia cannot refrain from laughing. At first, his presence had startled her. The sidewalk chalk had slipped out of her palm and she’d almost fallen backwards from her crouched position. But, something about his energy had instantly made her feel calm and at ease. Amelia is grinning from ear to ear after watching this boy struggle with his words. After a little back and forth and a lot more laughter, Amelia decides she doesn’t want him to leave. She definitely likes his company. She wants him to stay.

“Anyway, Atticus, do you wanna play a game?”

_______

Amelia is 16 years old when she discovers that high school is her worst nightmare.

She walks up late today. Like really late. More so than usual. She must have missed her alarm. Or, forgotten to set it in the first place. That was highly likely.

Amelia curses herself as she jumps out of bed. All she has time for this morning is a quick teeth brushing. She glances in the mirror briefly, throwing a sweatshirt over what she’d worn to bed and grabbing her converse sneakers from the corner of her room. She slips on her backpack before running down the stairs and out the front door.

No sign of Link. She frowns. She must really be testing his patience. They usually walk to school together every morning. And he’d usually wait for her, even if she was running late. This morning is different though.

Amelia turns the corner, prepared to be alone with her own thoughts for the entire duration of the walk to school. But then she sees him, about a block ahead of her.

“Link!” She yells, desperate. “Wait for me, asshole!”

She sees him slow to a halt. He turns around up ahead of her. Amelia quickens her pace until she’s approaching him.

“Sorry, hi,” she greets him, kind of breathless. He looks her up and down, taking in the sweatshirt and sweatpants combo. Amelia tries not to get nervous under his gaze. But then he smiles.

“Is it pajama day?”

She rolls her eyes at him and shoves his shoulder gently.

“I had literally 3 minutes to get ready this morning.”

“Clearly,” he laughs again. He focuses on her face again, looking into her eyes, and Amelia feels his gaze burning into her. “You look-”

“Tired?” she interrupts him. “Don’t say it.”

“I was going to say hungover.”

Amelia looks away from him, ahead of them as they walk. She tries desperately to not have any sort of reaction to his words.

“Amelia, it’s a weekday,” Link speaks again, concerned.

She stays silent, subconsciously raising her hand to bite at the corner of her thumb nail. He finally looks away from her face and Amelia sighs internally, wishing they could talk about anything else.

“Did you study for the physics test?” Link speaks up again.

“Is that today?” Amelia mumbles.

“Yes…”

“I’ll study at lunch. I’ll be fine.” And she’s not even worried. She knows she’ll do fine. She always does. She feels an awkwardness between them and she hates it. Link usually makes her feel completely at ease. This morning, Amelia can tell she’s made him upset. She nudges his side with her elbow. When he finally makes eye contact, she smirks at him.

“Link, I’m fine,” she whines playfully. “Don’t worry.”

He breaks into a smile. Something that happens naturally whenever Amelia smirks like that. Her heart warms at the sight, watching as his eyes crinkle slightly from the expression. Link has the best smile.

“I know you’re fine. I just think you’ll be less fine when I crush you in this physics test.” He jokes.

“In your dreams!” Amelia laughs, feeling completely relaxed by their banter.

_______

Amelia doesn’t study at lunchtime. Jake, who’s a senior, and someone Amelia always feels the need to impress, invites her to the parking lot and she instantly agrees. Being invited to the parking lot is basically a right of passage and everyone knows it. It’s not just a parking lot. It’s a hang out spot. The place you escape to for a smoke sesh or to find out where all the parties are that weekend. She knows being invited to the parking lot basically means Jake and all his senior friends will smoke her out. So, Amelia isn’t studying at lunch. She’s currently sitting on the open trunk of one of Jake’s friend’s trucks, being passed a joint.

She takes it, placing it to her lips, closing her eyes and inhaling as deeply as she can. She keeps it in for as long as she can before exhaling slowly. She opens her eyes again when she hears Jake laughing next to her.

“Damnnn, Shepherd. Not even a cough? Impressive.”

“She’s not like other girls,” one of Jake’s friends, Eric, adds, laughing with him.

Amelia rolls her eyes, and instead of passing the joint, she takes another hit. She’s impressing them and she likes the feeling. She reluctantly passes it off after that.

“Shep, you coming out tonight?”

Amelia just stares, it’s a Friday night but she’s not sure of what’s going on.

“Big party at Tyler’s place, everyone’s going.”

“Oh, right.” Amelia plays along. “Yeah I’m thinkin about it.”

_______

When the lunch bell rings, signaling class is about to start back up, Amelia only panics slightly. Not only is she late for the physics test, but she’s also completely in the wrong mindset. She feels it as she walks to the science lab, the paranoia sets in as she approaches the door. She hates walking in late. And she hates that she’s too high right now.

She tries to not spark any suspicion as she enters the room, but the dead quiet of the room only makes her more anxious. Everyone has already started taking their tests. She eyes her open seat at the back of the class, and moves as swiftly as possible. She feels a set of eyes on her the entire time and once she’s taken her seat, she reluctantly meets Link’s gaze from across the room.

Amelia flinches at the disappointment on his face.

Link turns back to his test and Amelia glues her eyes to her empty desk before another face interrupts her panic. She looks up just as Mr. Thompson, their physics teacher, places a test down in front of her. Amelia only meets his suspicious stare for a second before glancing down at the paper anxiously. She pulls a pencil out of her bag and quickly writes her name in the top right corner of the page.

She gives herself only a minute to breathe before she reads the first question. Once she does start reading, panic swells in her chest again. She can’t do this right now. She can’t be here taking this test. She doesn’t know what comes over her, but the sudden need to get out of this classroom completely consumes her. She’s not subtle when she stands up, pushing away from the desk hastily. The chair makes a harsh noise as it slides back against the floor and Amelia quickly grabs her backpack, leaving the test unfinished on her desk. Heads turn in her direction as she makes her way to the door. She faintly hears Mr. Thompson calling after her but chooses to ignore it.

She doesn’t stop walking until she’s all the way outside. The cool September air instantly calms her as she walks. And she keeps walking. Physics is her last class of the day and there’s nothing stopping her from just walking all the way home at this point.

_______

She hides out in her bedroom until her Mother calls her down for dinner a couple of hours later. It’s officially the weekend and that means some of the older Shepherd siblings are home from college. Amelia sits at the table and tries to avoid Nancy and Kathleen’s stares. Their mother, Carolyn, clears her throat.

“Girls stop glaring and pass Amelia the salad,” she says sternly.

Kathleen smirks as she starts passing food across the table. “Well, aren’t you going to say something, Mom?”

“Kathleen, not now.”

Amelia’s plate remains empty. The energy is off in the dining room and she doesn’t really feel like eating.

“You can’t keep letting her get away with this,” Kathleen speaks up again, laughing sarcastically and looking pointedly at her youngest sister.

“What’s your deal?” Amelia finally bites back. “I’ve seen you all of three minutes and you’re already mad at me for-?”

“Girls!” Carolyn chimes in. She glances harshly at each of them. She looks back at Amelia before she speaks again. “Amelia...the school called just before you came down-”

“I answered!” Kathleen interrupts with a snicker, Nancy smirking along with her. Carolyn shakes her head at them in warning before she continues.

“Amelia, apparently your science teacher reported you walked out on your test today…?” It ends up sounding like a question.

Amelia stares down at her empty plate.

“She’s probably on pills again. Did you ever get a lock for the medicine cabinet?” Nancy’s harsh words cause Amelia’s head to snap up. She glares at her oldest sister. And for the second time today, she feels the need to escape. She can’t be here right now. In a familiar movement, she pushes harshly away from the table and moves toward the front door.

She doesn’t stop walking until she’s all the way across the street. Suddenly she’s pounding on wood until a front door is swinging open and Link’s worried eyes meet hers. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she registers the haggard breathing sound is coming from her.

“Amelia?! What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I can’t-” her panicked breathing cuts the sentence short but suddenly strong arms are around her, pulling her inside the house.

Link shifts his grips to her shoulders and guides her toward the stairs, up to his bedroom. The door clicks shut behind them and Link is guiding her again toward the bed, sitting down next to her.

Amelia curses herself, embarrassed by her total lack of control right now. She doesn’t remember letting herself begin to cry. But now that it’s started, she can’t make it stop.

“Amelia,” Link’s steady voice pulls her slightly from her thoughts. He looks at her assuringly. “Breathe. You need to breathe.”

In a gesture, Link makes his own breathing pattern more obvious, in his attempt to get Amelia to match him. She tries. She really tries. She looks into his eyes and lets him hold her gaze, anchoring her, like he’s tossing her a rope and trying to pull her back in.

She needs more though, something more forceful, and then she’s reaching for him. In the most platonic way, she grabs under his elbows, forcing his arms to engulf her small body. Desperate for the pressure of his strong hold.

She waits for him to catch on, and she sighs in relief when he squeezes her tight. The sensation of it is almost like a thunder jacket for a dog.

Amelia is just beginning to calm down when Link’s grip loosens slightly. She looks up at him bewildered. But he just looks calm. He pulls away even more but grabs her hand, standing up from the bed.

“Here, Amelia. Lay down on the floor, this will help,” he soothes, pulling her up from the bed.

She still hasn’t gained any control over her crying, but she listens to his instructions, laying flat on her back on the plush carpeting of his bedroom. She glances up at him and he smiles softly at her, eyes crinkling. Then he’s lowering himself over her.

“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” his voice is soothing. He even chuckles a bit at his actions. How crazy this must look. “My body weight will be like a weighted blanket…”

He’s twice her size but he lays fully on top of her, mimicking her positioning. He relaxes, and Amelia feels the weight of it completely. And to her surprise, it’s extremely calming. The pressure envelopes her nerves and the effects are almost instant. Her breathing begins to slow as they lay in complete silence, both staring up at the ceiling.

“Like a….gravity blanket,” Amelia’s voice finally breaks the silence.

Link chuckles. And now Amelia is smiling wide.

They lay like that for a few more minutes. Amelia is so relaxed and the room is comfortably quiet.

“Did you fall asleep on me?” Amelia whispers, laughing under her breath.

Link rolls off of her, laying next to her instead. He smiles at her, reaching between them and squeezing her hand. Amelia’s chest tightens at the gesture. And then he lets go.

“You okay?” Link asks.

“I am.”

They both resume the position of staring up at the ceiling. Link speaks again.

“You going to that party tonight?”

Amelia turns her head, looking at him in shock.

“Absolutely not,” she answers. Then she laughs again, adding “I’m staying here with you.”

_______

Amelia is 18 years old when she realizes that soulmates can be found in friendships.

She loves college right away. She loves being away from home and away from her family. She finds a good friend group and gets along well with the people she lives with. The only thing missing from her close to perfect equation, is her best friend, Link.  

Her new college friends tease her relentlessly for her dependency on her best friend from home. The way she facetimes Link almost on a nightly basis, or the way she drops everything she’s doing the moment he texts her.

“That your boyfriend from home?” Amelia’s roommate jokes as her phone chimes with a text message.

“More like her soulmate,” her other roommate adds.

Amelia rolls her eyes. “He’s not my soulmate,” she laughs. “But...yes.”

The suspicious glances from her roommates don’t go unnoticed by Amelia. “I’m actually hanging out with Stephen tonight,” Amelia announces proudly.

“Ugh, he’s no good for you.”

“Yeah, definitely not soulmate vibes from Stephen.”

Amelia rolls her eyes again, standing up to get ready to see Stephen.

_______

Amelia likes Stephen. He’s tall and charming with dark hair and bright green eyes. He makes her laugh and provides the sense of calmness that Amelia seems to seek in those she surrounds herself with.  

He’s not a distraction. That’s for sure. Amelia is even starting to think she loves him by the end of the first semester. She feels something every time she looks at him. His wide smile and the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs. Stephen feels familiar. And makes Amelia feel nostalgic.  

And Amelia crushes any thought she has of Stephen compared to Link. To her best friend.

She doesn’t question what it means that every time she arrives back at her dorm after a night spent with Stephen, the first thing she wants to do is call Link.

She smiles to herself as she crosses the threshold to her room, instantly pulling her phone out and relaxing onto her bed. She swells with excitement as she glances at her calendar. It’s almost holiday break and for some reason she misses home.

_______

Amelia is 22 years old when she discovers what it feels like to finally open up.

She hasn’t seen Link in almost a full year, although she still considers him to be her best friend.

It’s finally thanksgiving and both Amelia and Link have returned home from their separate colleges for the weekend. She’s completely shocked when she first sees him. Link looks the same but also different. His hair is longer than Amelia remembers. And he seems taller...and more muscular, too. Like he’d suddenly started working out a bunch.

Link clears his throat, drawing her attention to his face. “Hi, Amelia,” he smiles. And the eye contact almost makes her breath catch in her throat. Had his eyes always been that color?

Link pulls her into a hug suddenly, pulling her away from her thoughts, and Amelia instantly relaxes into the familiar embrace.

_______

That night they end up at the local bar. Thanksgiving eve being the busiest bar night of the year, and basically a premature high school reunion for the entire town. Amelia really didn’t want to go. But, Link was interested in seeing a few buddies from school, and Amelia wanted to go wherever Link wanted to go.

They attempt to stay together for the entirety of the night, but it’s a little hard when there’s constant interruptions by vaguely familiar high school acquaintances.

Amelia sits at the bar and watches Link from across the room as he chats enthusiastically with his high school friends. She didn’t have a huge friend group in high school. She always had friends a couple grades above her, the ones she’d ditch school with. The ones she’d hang out in the parking lot with during lunch. And there was always Link. But that was it.

She catches his eye from where he’s standing across the crowded room and he smiles at her briefly. A moment later he motions toward the door. She frowns slightly before pushing through the crowd to join him.

“You’re leaving without me? What kind of date are you?” She smirks at him as she shrugs on her jacket.

“I wasn’t aware this was a date, Amelia.” Link responds, playing along. “But yes, I am leaving. Early morning and all that.”

“Well let me walk you home.” She continues, voice laced with irony.

“Let’s go home,” he agrees.

_______

They end up back at Link’s house, sitting at the kitchen table. There’s a lot of catching up, and reminiscing. And conversation about the future. Amelia feels a sense of warmness she can’t quite place. Link makes her feel warm. And she can’t stop smiling.

They talk about everything. Learn everything new about each other.

Amelia learns everything about Link’s college experiences. She tries to stay neutral as Link talks about the girls he has dated. She smiles through his drunken hookup stories. She learns that Link wants to pursue medical school, and that news brings her more excitement than she’d anticipated.

Amelia tells Link she wants to follow in her older siblings’ footsteps. She wants to become a surgeon. And when Link promises that he’d always known she’d make way for herself in the medical field, she feels warm again.

Amelia tells him about the relationships she’s been through. And the one she’s currently in.

“You’ll get to meet him this weekend, Link. He’s driving in tomorrow. For dinner.”

Amelia isn’t certain, but she thinks Link’s face falls at that.

“How long have you two been together?” He asks her.

“We met my freshman year. We’ve been dating on and off since then.” Amelia mutters, suddenly the warmth is gone. This conversation feels cold

“On and off?” Link questions.

Amelia clears her throat, feeling vulnerable. “Well, yeah.” She sighs. “We’ve broken up more than once. And gotten back together a couple of times…It’s um…” She pauses, collecting her thoughts. “It’s been, um, I mean I wouldn’t say a roller coaster, but…”

Amelia panics as she watches Link study her face. The analytical features remind Amelia of plenty of past conversations. Plenty of situations she’d gotten herself into and then called on Link.

“Amelia, are you happy?”

The question makes her heart sink and she can’t place why. Maybe it’s denial. Maybe she’s been dishonest with herself. She zones out as she stares ahead of herself, eyes glued to the space between them. Eyes glued to the table. She doesn’t like cold and vulnerable. She wants some of the warmth back. It feels like her body is on autopilot when she stands up on wobbly feet and walks around to Link’s side of the table. She can’t bring herself to answer him, or his daunting question. She doesn’t know why she does it, but suddenly she finds herself crawling her way into Link’s lap, legs dangling off the side of the chair and arms wrapping around his neck.

And then her own words surprise her, too.

“I had the biggest crush on you in high school. Probably since I was 9, if I’m being honest.” And she laughs at her own vulnerability.

She lays her head on his chest, hiding her face away from him. And she can feel Link wrap his arms around her waist. She feels him place a comforting kiss to the top of her head.

“And I, of course, was head over heels for you, but you already knew that. Everyone did.” He whispers, and Amelia is surprised at this response. She didn’t know that.

She laughs into him, and then she finally lifts her head, looking up at him.

“Let’s crash on the couch, yeah?” He offers. “Like old times?”

_______

It’s weird for Amelia the next night at dinner. To be snuggled into the embrace of another man. Not even 24 hours after she’d fallen asleep in Link’s arms.

His words replay in her head on a loop. The way he’d whispered ‘I’ve always loved you, Ames. Always will’ before they drifted off.

And the way that she’d responded. ‘I love you too, Link. You’re my best friend.’

Amelia is confused, and feels vulnerable, again.

_______

Amelia is 25 years old when she discovers that she's probably not destined to be a mother.

When she tells her fiancé of a year, James, that she’s pregnant, she doesn’t know how to feel. It’s overwhelming, that’s for sure. And she feels extremely anxious. She hopes it’s anxious in an excited way, and not for any other reason.

She ignores the uncertainty. She’d always wanted to be a mother, right? This is how everything was supposed to be. Anxiety and all.

_______

Amelia feels numb, three months later, when she has a miscarriage. She can’t quite process what she is feeling.

And it takes a toll on their relationship.

James is shocked. And grows more and more depressed over it.

Amelia takes her anger out on James, and he does the same with her.

They decide to take a break, and James moves out of their apartment. Amelia needs some time for herself. And she can’t quite place if what she’s feeling is relief. But she feels something. Because she knows that this is probably how it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason.

_______

Amelia is 28 years old when Seattle becomes her true home.

She’s graduated medical school and landed her dream internship at one of the country’s top hospitals.

It’s her first day of work and she hops on the subway train downtown. The train is kind of crowded, and she automatically makes her way to a less dense standing spot. She settles in her spot, mentally preparing herself for a busy day.

Amelia counts down as the train makes it’s stops. Knowing that the next stop is hers, she moves her way closer to the door. It opens and she steps out onto the platform, glancing at her watch, deciding whether or not she has time to stop for coffee.

Her thoughts are suddenly interrupted by another body bumping right into her.

“Oh, sorry,” she mumbles, but she cuts herself off when she recognizes who has just run into her.

“Long time no see, Shepherd.” Link is standing in front of her, smiling widely.

And she can’t help how her face instantly lights up. She laughs, bewildered. Not quite believing what she’s seeing. She finds herself pulling him into the tightest of hugs, laughing breathlessly into his ear.

“What the hell, Link? What the hell are you doing here?” She lets go of him and they’re making eye contact, smiles wide across both their faces. They both seem to need to catch their breath.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He jokes.

Amelia shakes from her daze. “I..I live here now. I start a new job today. Like now, actually.”

Her shock and bewilderment doesn’t seem to die down whatsoever when she learns that Link has landed the same internship as her.

_______

Amelia is 29 years old when she discovers that her 7-year-old self was wrong. Soulmates do exist, and she knows by definition.

She knows what a soulmate is when Link takes her out on their first real date and he doesn’t even make a move, because there’s no need to rush things.

She knows what a soulmate is when she watches Link become the version of himself that is a brilliant, confident, orthopedic surgeon fellow.

She knows what a soulmate is when they finally sleep together for the first time. And it feels like it has been building up over a lifetime. The way they take it slow, reveling in each moment with each other because it didn’t quite feel real.

After their first successful surgery together, they’d gone out with some fellow surgeons, and Amelia knew what she was doing when she asked him back to her place for the night.

Amelia knows what a soulmate is that night. When she looks him in the eye and reaches for the hem of his shirt in question. She feels completely confident in his presence and especially in his arms. Like she was always meant to be there. This is her best friend, and her soulmate. And she’s completely awestruck by how good this moment is. How it can’t compare to anyone or anything else.

Amelia knows what a soulmate is the next morning. When she stirs from her slumber slightly, as familiar fingers dance slowly across her bare back.

She rolls over in bed and is met with her favorite pair of eyes. She mumbles to Link ‘let’s make pancakes,’ and she knows what a soulmate is as she watches him move about her kitchen, covered in pancake mix from the brief food fight that had broken out between them.

Amelia knows what a soulmate is when they move in together. In a tiny studio apartment in Seattle. And Link lets her decorate it exactly how she wants.

And despite their first fight, Amelia knows what a soulmate is. When Link meets her nieces and nephews, and nonchalantly makes a comment about kids one day, Amelia freezes in panic. And then completely avoids him for three whole days.

Amelia knows what a soulmate is when she learns to compromise. Because the two of them cope in different ways. So, when Link has a bad day, she gives him space to bum out, instead of bombarding him to talk through it. Even though she’d want the opposite for herself on her own bad days.

And he’s still her soulmate when they turn 30 and they move into a bigger house in the suburbs. Amelia is excited about each of them having their own office space. Link jokes about ‘room to grow’ and ‘future nurseries.’ Amelia doesn’t say it then, but she warms up at the idea.

When they’re 32, and they’re dancing at their co-worker’s wedding, Amelia knows what a soulmate is. After a particularly hard week at work, Amelia had been taking her frustrations out on Link. And he’d been letting her. He was always so patient. And now as they danced together slowly, Amelia can’t help but rest her head against his chest gratefully. She feels him squeeze her waist gently. She can’t help it when she mumbles ‘Maybe I’ll marry you, someday.’

_______

Amelia is 34 years old when everything falls into place for the rest of her life.

After she’d told Link she was pregnant, they’d both been completely overjoyed. And since then, Amelia couldn’t fight the realization that everything was meant to be this way. Everything had happened for a reason.

She doesn’t hear Link come into the bathroom as she stands brushing her teeth, eyes closed in happy exhaustion as she rests against the sink.

She feels his arms snake around her stomach and her eyes snap open to playfully meet his in the bathroom mirror.

Link squeezes her small bump and Amelia lays her head back into his chest blissfully.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispers, “before you fall asleep right here brushing your teeth.”

_______

They lay down in bed and assume their favorite position as of recently. Amelia loves it when Link lays behind her, spooning her, arms instinctively and protectively wrapping around her stomach. She settles into his arms and almost immediately begins dozing off.

She feels Link’s breath tickling her neck before she registers his voice.

“Amelia, you’re going to make the best mom to Scout. I can’t wait.” He mumbles, and Amelia smiles sleepily.

“I love you, Ames.” he continues, gently squeezing her bump again. “Always have, always will.”

Amelia is awake just enough to respond “I love you too, Link. You’re my best friend,” before sleep takes her.

Feedback please/let me know if you want me to write more amelink/send prompts!!

[coldshrugs]

thank you for this blessed template, @possumsunshine. this was so fun and cute, i couldn't resist after seeing it on my dash 💗

pulled a couple of answers from oc asks i've done recently because oof this got long.

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: alma greene

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: felix but also nate

Main skill: science/tech

Secondary skill: people/psychology

Main personality trait: tied for impulsive and sarcastic

Secondary personality trait: stubborn

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: she’s not a detective, but science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: very close, even with absences, but waning

Relationship with Bobby: college friend, currently hates him

Verda or Tina?: both

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy’s fate?: at large, babyyy

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: alma eloise greene

Nickname: sweetheart/space girl by mason; sweetie by rebecca

Birthday: june 12th

Age: 29

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (demiromantic??)

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: dark brown, nearly black

Height: 5’1”

Piercings: ears, former nostril piercings

Tattoos: a small snail on her right arm, super cartoony spaceship and tractor beam over the words “i want to believe” on the back of her left calf

Clothing Style: “modern” i guess, according to the game. tbh i usually describe it as “too old to be an e-girl but too cute to care.” bleached denim, dark plaid, graphic crop tops, black vans or converse, thigh-high tights, etc etc

Apartment Style: cozy. did she find it on the side of the road or goodwill or an estate sale? if not, it’s probably not in her apartment.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/tech

Second Skill: people/psychology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: alma is wayhaven’s only forensic analyst because i refuse to let my black oc be a cop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in-game, she’s 100% there for her scientific prowess.

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: on a meta level: oh no he’s hot

but alma’s reasoning is that he’s very upfront about what he wants in the beginning and she’s never been pursued in such a way. It’s a bit of a rush and an ego boost for her at first. but mason’s loyalty very quickly becomes the steadiness alma’s been missing for most of her life and she latches on to that. she’s not had someone so dependable around in… well, ever. and her physical attraction becomes emotional VERY quickly.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: shy until they sleep together, then a mix of bold and genuine afterward.

What were their first impressions of each other?:

alma on mason: thought he was super attractive but that was quickly pushed aside by “holy shit, this guy’s an ass.” she thinks he’s an uncooperative jerk that only cares about himself for quite a while, honestly. she asks him along for things she wants to do alone precisely because she thinks he’ll be the most likely to just stay out of her way. she’s surprised by his attitudes and opinions, and her incorrect assumptions about them, during those times.

mason on alma: would never, ever, ever admit that his first thought upon meeting Alma was simply “cute.” he quickly found parts of her to assess individually. those first few days were mostly spent appraising her physical attributes and watching her back when she needed it. mason did find her funny right away, but he wasn’t willing to trust someone new, regardless of that person being their handler’s daughter or not.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

alma on mason: his eyes, freckles, and every single version of his smile. his decisiveness, differentially, and willingness to stab as a warning.

mason on alma: her hair tbh, there’s just… a lot of it. her hips, her eyelashes. He also likes her adaptability, sense of humor, and the warmth she gives with no expectation of reciprocation.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of stargazing, lots of watching tv very quietly and making fun of the storylines they don’t understand until they get bored and make out instead, walking around the quieter parts of wayhaven or taking late-night drives.

What is their favorite memory together?: i like to think mason finds the carnival photo of them after the place has been sacked and gives it to alma sometime later. both the taking of the photo and the giving of it are very fond memories for both of them.

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: badly. mason absolutely hates it after a time. if alma’s out of town, he’s in her apartment with the excuse of feeding her cat, but it’s 100% just to sleep in her bed and be around all the things that make her, her. alma does a little better. she’s used to having folks sort of come and go and come again, but she gets almost hyper-insecure?? it’s nothing she’d admit openly, but she’s second-guessing herself in totally unrelated aspects of her life until they’re reunited.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t necessarily argue, but they disagree with the intent to problem solve. alma is pretty flexible and as long as she can understand why someone might feel the way they feel, she’s willing to hear them out or go along with their plan. if an argument does get out of hand, they need space from it for a while. they each have places to retreat for those times, and they wait for the “hey” text to come through to know it’s time to talk about it.

What does their future look like?: alma becomes a vampire two years into their relationship. they move into a quiet, old house on the edge of town until the whole team moves elsewhere. mason has to get used to having a cat because october has several years left in him. they don’t get married, but they’re inseparable.

Anything else you’d like to share: in the time before alma turns, mason learns to perfect making grilled cheese because it’s what alma craves when she’s not feeling well. He makes the grilled cheese then he immediately showers to get the smell off him but he makes it regardless.

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: depending on the playthrough it swaps between felix and nate, but felix feels more in character

Why them?: alma loves felix’s sense of adventure and nosiness. Most of all she loves that he won’t judge her for pulling the same shit every now and then.

What were their first impressions of each other?: alma was super thrown off by that hand kiss. “who the fuck is this mischief-maker?” while nate was very kind and warm, felix (surprisingly) was the UB teammate that really humanized the rest of the team for alma. he’s fun and genuine and wants everyone else to be happy together. felix was incredibly interested to learn more about alma, as a human, as his boss’s daughter, and then as a friend when she readily accepted the supernatural and, by extension, him as a vampire. The fact that she’s easily flustered or surprised really works in his favor because he lives for being the most shocking person in the room.

What do they do to spend time together?: they share music, they dance, and they text A LOT. lots of memes, lots of “what does [x] mean?” “oh nice” “[proceeds to use the thing they just learned incorrectly]”. they also compare and share hair products.

Anything else you’d like to share: they each have a tamagotchi named after the other (baby felix and baby alma) and they compete to see who can keep theirs alive the longest. everyone loses.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in-depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: oof okay. alma seeks rebecca’s approval and depends on her for a sense of safety and “stability.” in some ways, she wants to be exactly like her mom: strong, independent, unbothered, worldly. but a lot of that shatters the longer alma works professionally with rebecca and with the revelations surrounding rook. alma sees how much rebecca uses her as a crutch, projects her perceived failures onto alma’s life, and over-shelters her.

Relationship with Rook: alma doesn’t remember him and tries not to think of him often or fondly or at all BUT she has so many of his things. his flannels, his detective badge, his ancient comic book collection (which is the only reason she has her own). she has his eyes and his impulsive streak, his care for people of all varieties. she IS rook’s daughter and she ignores that fact so it doesn’t hurt her.

Relationship with Bobby: they used to be very close, slightly flirty friends but there’s no way in hell alma can trust him now. (i originally had bobby as alma’s ex but it was all getting a little too Bella Swan for me. like bobby, douglas, the werewolves, falk, and mason like????? it was a bit much so bobby’s just an old ex-friend)

Relationship with Verda: alma fucking loves verda. that’s her mentor, that’s her dad friend. she feels a sense of Pride and Accomplishment when she can make verda laugh or impress him in the lab, or both. alma’s fond of spending evenings over his place with eric and the kids, making dinner, or just hanging out.

Relationship with Tina: tina was alma’s first friend as a kid. they lost touch in high school because tina was bubbly and cute and popular, while alma was… not. but the summer before they left for college they ran into each other at a house party and since that reconnection, they’ve been thick as thieves. it was like nothing had changed. tina is a light in alma’s life, and alma lets tina lean into the stranger parts of herself without judgment.

Relationship with the Mayor: thinks he’s a creep and a bad parent.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: appreciates how he prioritizes the town and its people, but thinks he could loosen up a bit.

Relationship with Haley: haley is a couple of years older than alma but they’ve known each other forever. alma admires haley’s work ethic and cheery attitude.

Relationship with Elidor: oh man, alma is absolutely stunned by elidor. he’s beautiful, kind, and knowledgeable. in those early days, elidor is responsible for quite a bit of her supernatural education. alma grills him while he nurses her back to health. her curiosity is refreshing to him.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: alma thinks vieno is cute and funny, says hi when she sees them around, but they’re not best friends or anything. she can’t shake the thought that they’re basically a fae version of danny devito.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: absolutely smitten with lesedi. she’s never seen a more beautiful woman. tamiko ends up being a pretty good friend. the twins are on her social periphery but alma’s not close with them.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: alma sincerely wants to help them adjust to life in this world and takes that goal very seriously. at the same time she really really wishes falk hadn’t developed this weird attachment to her.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): YES. i’ve thrown another oc in wayhaven for the express purpose of being The Detective. His name is javi. alma met him in college and they were fast friends. alma convinced him to try out wayhaven after graduation. They lived together for a while and now they, along with tina, can often be seen in the corner booth of chen’s pub.

she was also very close with her maternal grandmother before she died. she was raised by her while rebecca was absent, but i need to develop this more.

her cat, october, whom she’s had for five years. he’s a sweet, mostly black tortie that can hardly meow. alma adopted him as an adult when she got her own place.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: alma is so open and ready to accept new possibilities. she’s the sort of person that embraces what scares her, finds beauty in it, and loves it intensely. she’s sharp and resourceful. i wouldn’t exactly describe her as hard-working, but she’s knowledgeable about her field and tries to be helpful when she has a goal in mind.

she’s quite tactile. touchy with other people. likes to use her hands for work or hobbies. she doesn’t really mind being alone for long stretches of time but would prefer not to be. she wants others to want to be around her.

she’s also terrible at being honest about her trauma. everything is fine, she’s fine, she doesn’t need to talk about this :) :) :) she will handle the breakdown when it happens and not one second before. also, with quick wit comes uncontrollable sarcasm and it does not always hit well.

Strengths: the only person in unit bravo that knows how to use google

Weaknesses: squishy

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: super torn here because wayhaven feels inland to me, but i think i’ve finally settled on the north carolina coast but not like the outer banks area. If not there, then maybe virginia, closer to the chesapeake bay.

What is their personal history?: alma is born to rook and rebecca in wayhaven. spends her childhood being raised mostly by her grandmother, idolizes rebecca. academic success comes easily for her; a heavy interest in science leads to a scholarship at a university just far away enough to feel like she’s Leaving The Nest. alma dates a bit in college but she’s the type to end up becoming friends with everyone she sleeps with and romance is difficult for her to cultivate. when she does date, the relationships are short-lived. she returns to wayhaven after school and puts her degree to work in wayhaven’s police department. she wishes she’d applied for a position in the city but craves the comfort (and tbh, the low stakes) of home.

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: she’s a forensic analyst and honestly?? it’s a pretty dreamy job for her. she loves being a scientist, loves helping people, and isn’t easily grossed out.

Anything else you’d like to share: has tried to stay overnight in an ikea. did not succeed.

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: gemini

Hobbies: reading peer-reviewed journals, watching terrible sci-fi, collecting comic books and mugs, thrift shopping

Likes: good hair days, denim jackets, vanilla candles, halloween, unflavored lipbalm, driving at night, that warm “surrounded by love” feeling, snails, fuzzy socks

Dislikes: the lights while driving at night, winter, dry skin, minimalist decor, smudged glasses, being overwhelmed with choices

Drink of choice: white wine usually, white russians if she’s out at chen’s, or shots of jaeger if she’s feeling trashy

Starbucks order: grande flat white with 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Favorite food: a simple, fresh spaghetti pomodoro OR lemon meringue pie

Favorite color: golden mustard yellow

Favorite music: she loves just about everything and it’s heavily dependant on her mood. (this is actually really difficult to think about without feeling like i'm giving her my exact taste in music but here's a little playlist that fits her vibe)

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): science fiction or psychological thrillers, but her favorite movie is oliver and company.

Favorite season: fall

Anything else you’d like to share: has a stupid amount of blankets stashed around her apartment. she really does not like being cold.

[walpurga-nacht-academy]

Morgainne Family Lore

Valerian Morgainne

Age: 38

Occupation: Accountant (Former)

Fashion Designer/Boutique Owner

Description 

The father of Rosalia Morgainne. He is a very energetic, high-spirited man whose friendly disposition wins him many friends and admirers. He used to be an accountant for a very big firm in the Rose Kingdom, but found the job too stressful and demanding and decided to quit and do something he was more passionate about. That turned out to be fashion designing, a hobby that he’s had since he was a small kid but never had the courage to actually pursue it until his wife managed to change his mind on the matter. He’s the type of person that gets attached to others very easily and tends to be quite emotional, traits that he’s passed down onto his daughter. 

He is the ‘doting type’ of parent who likes to spoil his child and fulfills any requests she has of him. His love for her is so great that he decided that just one cutesy nickname won’t do, and thus has decided to switch them up constantly. He’s completely supportive of his daughter’s pushback against type casting and tries his best to help her reach the sort of image she’s currently cultivating for herself.

He and his wife have been high school sweethearts and got married right after graduation. He’s still head over heels for her and always brings her flowers when she gets back home after a long day on the set. When he was courting her, he brought her a red rose every single day for a month in hopes that she would agree to go out with him.

After finishing his second degree, he opened his own boutique called Venus. It’s one of the more popular ones in Rose Kingdom thanks to his skill at clothes making. He even collaborated with Rhodopis, a popular brand in the Glacier Mountains, at some point.  

He has a huge sweet tooth, but even though he always claims he’ll try something new when he visits the bakery, he instead just defaults to his usual: chocolate.

                                                  ••●••

Helena Morgainne

Age: 38

Occupation: Make-up/Special Effects Artist

Description 

The mother of Rosalia Morgainne. A no nonsense, hard working woman who takes charge in difficult situations. She tends to be the practical type who can’t be swayed easily once she’s decided on something. She dreamed of being a make-up artist since she was young, but due to her tomboy personality and dressing style many people told her she wouldn’t be suited for this. She refused to let others’ opinions of her influence her career path however. The only one who supported her dream was a classmate who also had a crush on her. He used to bring a red rose to her desk every day for a month, when amused by his persistence she agreed to go on a date with him. 

She’s the parent who employs some ‘tough love’ when it comes to her child, and usually handles her daughter’s tantrums the best. She pushes her to become more independent and mature since she wants to see her succeed in life on her own terms.

She’s good friends with Eric Venue, the famous actor, due to having worked on many movies and TV shows together, having ultimately established a friendly relationship. If the other happens to be visiting they agree to go out for coffee and catch up. They usually trade parenting tips as well. She’s very fond of his son, Vil Schoenheit, as a result. 

Her favorite movies to work on are in the horror genre because she feels that she can be more daring when it comes to those. As a result, she’s a big horror fan and owns lots of movies, including “Pumpkin Hollow” which she thinks is underrated. 

                                                      ••●••

Donny A.

Age: 45

Occupation: Manager

Description

Rosalia’s manager. A very lively and talkative man, whose special skill is buttering up TV producers and pulling in funds. His extroverted tendencies make it easy for him to talk to just about anybody with a sort of boldness that puts many people off, which he’s aware of but doesn’t care about. He’s very career driven and his biggest concern is making sure his clients are taken care of. He’s a former martial arts movie star who had to quit after an unfortunate accident made him unable to perform his usual stunts. Now he works as a manager for child actors and young talents. 

Because he was a former child star himself, he feels like he gets along better with children since he experienced much of the same thing they went through. He fashions himself as a sort of Uncle figure, though has no actual nieces and nephews. 

His most iconic item is his pair of teashades that he wears regardless of event or occasion. He got them as a present from one of his clients years ago and he thought they looked especially cool so he’s integrated them into his look. 

He lives alone, except for his pet tarantula that he calls “Muffin”.

He’s very fond of Rosalia and considers her as very talented for her age. He gets along pretty well with her father, but is intimidated by her mother. He sometimes invites himself to family dinners since he likes the warm atmosphere of the Morgainne household. 

[junjungsunwoo]

2 kids, Mi Amor, Teardrops on my Tulips, Guns, Roses, and a Broken Promise  Vasílissa Mou (My Queen), Ruined Innocence ,The Work Of You ,The Ghost Of You

for the wip game love~

Sarah, my Queen, the Clyde to my Bonnie, my love <33

2 Kids: This story was (clearly) heavily based on Taemin's "2 Kids", more specifically the line "We were just 2 kids, too young and dumb" I had the idea for it out of nowhere after I finished read a really good angst fic (idk remember what it was tho), and I just wanted to hurt someone's feelings so that's really what made me want to write it lol

2 Kids:

The story starts with us in the reader (y/n)'s point of view. The reader and Eric was a couple in high school, childhood sweethearts if you will. The reader is completely in love with Eric, while Eric on the other hand is starting to feel 'weird' and so he starts to ignore the reader and soon the reader couldn't take it anymore, and they break up.

The next flashback ends (the part where we are reading as the reader) and we are now reading the story in Eric's point of view. Eric is remembering all of the times where you would tell him you loved him and how he never really responded with an 'I love you too', and he's regretting everything now.

And I can only give you that much for 2 kids hehe, Moving on!

Mi Amor I've already answerd! You can read that here!

Teardrops on my Tulips: This story wasn't based on anything really, but I had a really good idea for it and I had this title in my head for a long time so I finally had the perfect idea for the title!

Teardrops on my Tulips:

The reader was a Flower shop owner. She loved flowers, every color or every kind. She was always careful with her feelings and was known to be quite cold to the people she doesn't know.

One day, this man comes into her small shop, and the man was one of the most handsome men the reader has ever seen, and she didn't know it, but her heart skipped a beat the moment she landed her eyes on him.

The reader learns that the man's name was Jaemin, and soon, she starts to see him in her little shop every Saturday, buying different types of flowers and talking to her about the meaning of flowers. Slowly, the reader starts to fall for him.

Annnd I can't give you more before I ruin the (not so surprising) plot twist! ;)

Guns, Rose, and a Broken Promise: I'm not gonna lie, this plot came out after reading this really good mafia fic one day and after watching Sunwoo in the "The Stealer" MV because damnnnn that man's got me whipped. The story starts off really cliche but then it gets pretty intense lol.

Guns, Roses, and a Broken Promise:

The reader finds Sunwoo injured in an alley one day and she helps him out. The reader is very suspicious of Sunwoo and doesn't really trust him but little by little they get closer until one day they fell in love. One day, the fact that Sunwoo was a mafia boss was revealed and the reader is stuck in a place where she either has to break up with Sunwoo or she goes with Sunwoo to the mafia.

And I'm gonna stop there since I'd like you to read the story to find out what happens hehe, anyways, moving on-

Vasílissa Mou (My Queen): This story literally came out of nowhere. It's going to be written for a collab of mine (I'm pretty sure it's for Meraki. but don't quote me on that.) and I really just wanted to write about Greek god! Juyeon cause like, that man is *chef kiss*. If you didn't know, Vasílissa Mou is greek for (well if isn't obvious,) "My Queen". This story is heavily based on the Greek love story of Hades and Persephone.

Vasílissa Mou (My Queen):

Juyeon was a very lonely man. He was very powerful and a single word from him can destroy the whole world but he was very lonely. He had no companions other than his beloved dog, Cerberus- the guard dog of the underworld.

One time, while on a walk above the underworld, he stumbles across a beautiful woman- you. Juyeon was love struck. He didn't know what he was feeling. It felt warm and...soft- something Juyeon thought he could never feel. He knew he would do anything to get you, that he'd do anything for you.

He couldn't get over the sudden feeling that bloomed in his heart, and he starts to obsess over you. He would away watch as you interact freely and happily with the other god while he just watched on the side, too afraid that he would scare you. But he just couldn't take the feeling of being empty anymore- he needs you to fill him up, he needs you. Now.

And that's all I can give you mjsbgskdbjgkrsg You'll have to read to find out what happens hehe

Ruined Innocence: This highkey was also inspired by Sunmi's "Tail" because damn Queen slayed that comeback. I really wanted to flip the stereotypical roles around and have Younghoon as the innocent figure and the reader the "bad influence" so that's what I did, btw, this is set in a superhero/villain world.

Ruined Innocence:

The reader and Younghoon meet at a mutual friend's party. The reader was intrigued by Younghoon's innocence and she finds it amusing when he would shy away from her. She makes it her mission to turn Younghoon into a baddie. She takes every chance she gets to get close to Younghoon and spend time with him.

Little by little, Younghoon begins to fall under the reader's influence and starts to slowly turn more and more rebellious.

That's all I'll give you, for now, hehe, I'm super excited to write this out!

The Work of You: I've already told you about this one Sarah, but I'll post it for those who don't know because why not hehe. This wasn't really inspired by anything, I just liked the gore that will be in the fic hehe

The Work of You:

Kevin was a natural-born artist. It was like he had the touch of the Greek god Apollo. Any Canvas he touched was turned into paintings worth millions of dollars and all the songs he produced and sung were as if angels were hosting a choir. Kevin had only once muse- you.

You were everything to Kevin. Without you, Kevin wouldn't be where he is right now. Kevin loved you. He loved you so much. So much that it hurt him every time you were out of his sight. He couldn't stand being away from you even for a second. He loved you. He'd do anything for you to make you stay with him.

Anything. As long as you stay close to him.

And that's all I'll write for this one ljsbsldbg Sarah knows what's up after this but I' not gonna say, so please don't spoil in the comments Sarah~

Annnnd onto our last one!

The Ghost of you: I had this idea for a while when I started writing for my other WIP "Death of An Angel" but I wrote the other one for Jacob because baby is an angel, and when I joined Luna's Seventeen Halloween collab I knew I had to write this!

The Ghost of You:

The reader goes through a series of horror-filled situations the day before Halloween, and everywhere she looked, she could only see ghosts of the dead flying around excitedly. The reader was then dragged into an investigation by her boyfriend- Jeonghan, who acts very suspicious throughout the entire investigation. The reader spends the entire night and day of Halloween trying to help her detective boyfriend solve a case with her necromancy abilities.

And that's that! That's all I can give you!

I finally finished all of the ones you ask after about what? An Hour? lgnsgnsegk

I hope these caught your attention!

[onlystylesangels]

The Night I Lost You

Request:  Hi. Can I do a request where y/n is a famous actress/singer and she is dating Harry but they both decided to have a break because of their busy schedule then Chris Evans made a move with y/n and Harry got jealous? Thank you! :)

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem!Reader, Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader and Harry take a break on their relationship and one particular night changes everything.

Warnings: Angst, and little fluff.

Word Count: 6k+

A/N: It’s finally here!!! This was requested to me a long long time ago and I am finally posting this gem! I really hope you like it. I know I am moving past the original writing that I used to write, but I am just trying to explore on what I like to write and so far I like it! If you want come talk to me here!  I love love you all! I am sending all my love and stay safe beauties!! - A.💕💓💞💖💗

*3 weeks ago*

You get invited to attend the Oscars! You were truly ecstatic that this was your very first invite to attend an awards night. Well, you got invited because you were an actress yourself and the movie that you played a role in was nominated for the ‘Best Original Screenplay’ award, and boy were you excited. It was not like you were nominated for best new actress, but hey, the movie that you were in was nominated for a freaking Oscar award!

So you told your close friends and family right away once you found out the news; you were so excited. But there was an emptiness in you, and all the excitement that you felt just moments ago disappeared. After talking with your agent you were going to call Harry, your boyfriend, well sort of boyfriend because you two were currently on break. You were the one to suggest the break due to yours and Harry’s schedules. Both of you always missed each other and so, the idea of taking a break seemed like the simple way to keep the relationship steady.

As for Harry, he was alone in his tour bus sipping some water from a water bottle as his phone was faced down on the table. He drifted his eyes to the bottle and down to his phone, he was contemplating on calling you. He just wanted to call and see how you were, but would it make it weird. You two were still on break, so would calling cross that boundary? He really wanted to hear your sweet voice, that voice that always made him fall into a deep sleep. Your fingers running deep into his scalp as you whispered sweet nothings near his ear, he missed that, he missed you. He loves you so much that it is hard to stop loving the person that you are emotionally vulnerable to. It is hard to let all those memories go, when just two months ago you two made love and confessed to each other that you were both going to love each other for the rest of your lives.

*Present Time*

“Y/N you know you’re invited to the after party, right?” Emma, your agent says.

You simply nod and rub your heel on the floor, and as you were doing so, you moved a piece of fabric that was extended on the tail of your lilac colored dress letting people walk along without stepping on your dress.

“Yeah I know, but I really wanted to go with Eric. You know how much he likes these types of parties. I just feel naked without him, you know.” you say. You look down ready to maybe call it a night.

“I know sweetheart, but I just want to make sure you have fun,” Emma puts a hand on your shoulder reassuring you, “You know, you do have to get back to work with that movie you got a role in, must I remind you.” Emma smiled as you looked up at her, with a growing smile.

“That’s right! Shit Emma, I almost forgot,” you exclaimed. You rest your hand on Emma's  arm. “How did I almost forget?” Emma just shrugs her shoulders and smiles at you.

“Go over there and have fun. Promise I will be close by if you need, okay?” You nodded at this and started walking towards the venue that surely had more than ten colorful lights on display. You were surely going to see actors and actresses that you loved. You turn around and look towards Emma who is giving her two thumbs up as encouragement. This would have been better if you physically had someone with you accompanying to this party. You were glad that Emma was going to stay here for a bit, but you still felt unsure if staying here was a good idea.

~~  ~~  ~~

So you were sitting at a table of four, but the only occupant was you. You swirled the alcoholic liquid that was sloshing around in the martini glass. You let out a sigh, wishing that this party would end sooner. You kept swirling the liquid and you glanced every once in a while to see people talking just feet away from you. You stared down at your phone and decided to look through it, but before you could look through social media you felt a presence next to you.

"Hi. Is this seat taken?" He asked, a hand on his hip and the other holding a beer bottle.

You didn't look up to see who the man was; you just stared at the liquid swirling around in the glass.

"I don't think there's anyone sitting there. Pretty sure it's just me here." You looked up and saw the man with eagerness and a smile plastered on his face. Blue eyes that could probably beat the shininess of a sapphire diamond and lashes that could closely resemble lashes of a beautiful and majestic forest creature. Chris Evans was talking to you.

When you were nearly a teen you had a slight crush on a particular actor that always swooned you whenever you saw him on the big screen and you didn't really think much of it until right now. Right now, Chris Evans was standing next to you, a smile on his face and his eyes dancing over your face. Damn him, and those precious blue eyes

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a smartass."

Chris only let out a hearty chuckle which made you feel more clueless.

"No, no. It's fine. I didn't mean to interrupt. I just noticed that you were all alone here and felt tempted to come and talk to you. If you’re comfortable that is.” He reasoned.

"There was literally nothing to interrupt. And yeah-- why would I not feel comfortable? I’m just-- not in a party mood, I guess." You muttered out. You sipped the last contents from the glass.

“Would you want some company? I’m not really in the mood either.”

You froze. You literally stood still as you stared up at him. He looked amazing wearing a three piece burgundy suit with a pair of sunglasses peeking from his suit pocket. Seeing him there in front of you, inches away from you; you literally had no words that you could say other than just stare into those blue eyes of his.

He nudged your arm and you automatically came back from your fantasy land.

"Uh- hi." You finally let out, rubbing your arm, a nervous mechanism you got during your teen years.

"Hi," he smiled yet again, "Y/N, right?" He asked and drank a gulp of beer.

Wait, what? He knows your name?

"Uh-yes. How did you kn-,"

"I watched the movie that you were in. Nice character by the way." He complimented.

"Oh, oh really?" You sounded flabbergasted, how the hell would Chris Evans even recognize you? You were an actress but it wasn't like you were a well known actress.

"Yeah! I really enjoyed your character and how you portray someone that was so hurt, yet she still managed to kill a lot of people." He replayed back in his mind. You nodded at his response, your arms crossed over your chest as the phone that you were busy looking through was now on the table faced down.

"Well, you know I just tried to do my best as I always try to do with the roles. But yeah, it was a pretty good film, there was action, drama, romance, literally every movie genre you could think of is in that movie."

"You didn't get nominated. It sucks, I think I would've voted for you." He said, a smile on his face as he takes another sip of his beer.

You blushed. Not like a soft tint of pink, but a tomato-red tint blush.

"Oh, umm-, no… I wasn't that good to be nominated," You reasoned, "I mean I was okay. I don’t think I deserved to be nominated anyway." You mention. Was it true though?

“Give yourself some more credit, doll. I think you were a great talent in that movie.” Chris smiled, he set his now empty beer bottle on the table and stared at you with those blue eyes that you could not stop staring at.

“You mean it?”

Chris shrugged and nodded, “Of course. Why would I lie?”

It was your turn to stare at him with your eyes squinting a bit trying to see where he was getting at. He was telling the truth. Why would he root for her though?

“Well, thank you Chris. You are too sweet.” You smiled as you took a sip of your drink. Chris raised his brows and smirked down at you.  

Maybe this party was not going to be that bad after all.

~~  ~~  ~~

"So tell me about yourself, Y/N. Anything interesting about the Y/N Y/L/N?"

You sat there and thought to yourself. A finger on your chin.

"Hmm," you hummed to yourself. "Well I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. Attended a couple of theatres in high school and during senior year I trained to be part of an acting camp and I guess that is where I started to fall in love with acting." You said, as you remembered the very first time you auditioned for a role.

"Really? That's kind of how I started too." His brows raised as he swallowed the last drops of his water.

"Never knew that Chris Evans started just like how I started."

"Well, gotta start somewhere, right?" He smirked.

And yes. That was how the night went. You still couldn't believe that you just met Chris Evans that same night and he was literally a shiny gem that you would find in a clear blue body of water. A gem that you could never get tired of looking at.

But the night and the party had to eventually end at some point. You were getting tired and also Chris was getting a bit woozy from the long day. His eyes were starting to feel heavy and his mouth couldn't contain the treacherous yawns that would soon make you yawn as well.

The night was eventful and having to meet Chris was just the cherry on top. You felt so honored in being invited to the Oscars. You were beyond ecstatic to join so many well renowned actors and actresses. You were living your best life.

You and Chris walked alongside each other as you exited the party. The double doors leading back to the party were gold-colored and the floor was covered with velvet-red carpet. You made sure to examine the room before you left because you had a feeling that this night might not happen again or maybe you might get lucky in the future.

Chris opens the door for you, you thank him and walk out; Chris following behind you.

"It was really nice meeting you Y/N. Hoping to see you around, maybe?" He smiled. His hands were tucked away in his pants pockets.

"Yeah. It was a pleasure meeting you Chris, really, a true pleasure." You smiled and hugged Chris. Once you both parted Chris leaned down and laid a kiss on your cheek.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You arrived at the house that you rented. You moan under your breath when you remove the strap from your ankle and toss your heels to the floor. You could just carry them in your hand and put them where they belong, but honestly, you were tired as hell.

You wandered into the hallway as you reminisced how the blankets covered your body and made you feel so comfortable. You wished that you could go to the master bedroom and lie down and sleep, but you really wanted to take a warm bath before you called it a night. A simple whimper came out of your mouth when you came inside the bathroom. You sighed at the exposure of the bathtub and how it clearly invited you in with the pearly white tub empty- waiting to be filled with warm luscious water.

You walked towards the tub as if you were summoned by the bathtub. You twist the tub faucet and you feel the water temperature to make sure that it was a good temperature for you to bathe in. As you are content with the water temperature, you add in one of your favorite bath bombs. You watch the bomb sizzle and change the water into a bright blue.

If only you could have nights like these. Take warm baths, pamper yourself with face masks and foot masks. Yes, of course you would have breaks when you finished filming your parts, but tonight just felt different.

After going to your very first awards night and attending an after party, it was literally your dream to go to one of those. But not only that you attended that party, but you also met Chris Evans who you have had a crush on during your teen years.

All in all it was a good night. Very busy, but it was a good one. You begin to lather your body as you also start swooshing the water making little designs with the purple hue of the water. You were having fun. You were making yourself smile from how relaxed you were. You finish up washing up and finally drying yourself up as you get ready to go to bed.

~~  ~~  ~~

You woke up to a ringtone that blared out from your phone that was sitting on the nightstand. You hurriedly rub your eyes and look for your phone haphazardly as your eyes haven't adjusted to the bright sunlight that was peeking through the curtains.

'Hello?" You answer. Your voice groggy.

Shuffling on the other end makes you queasy. It was literally early in the morning, you weren't ready to hear loud sounds, let alone answering a phone call.

"Hiya Y/N!" Emma exclaims in excitement.

Again, you close your eyes from the faint ringing you heard from her voice.

"Uh- can you not yell right now?"

Your agent chuckled as you sat up on the bed.

"I love the enthusiasm, but- it's just you're so loud sometimes, especially being early in the day."

You heard Emma scoff in response.

"You call this early? Sweetheart it's 11:46 AM."

You remove the phone from your ear and look at the time. Shit. You were supposed to wake up at 7:20, how the hell did-

"I need you here asap. I don't want to drive up there to fetch you myself."

"Oh and- when were you going to tell me that you ended up meeting Chris Evans?"

"Er, how did you find out?"

"I got a call from his publicist and he just asked for your number."

"Wait you gave my number to his publicist?"

"No, no. I gave it to Chris. He was with his publicist so I spoke with Chris for a few minutes.

That made more sense to you. You guess you were too busy getting to know more about Chris that you both forgot to exchange numbers.

The next few days went like a blur. Literally each day you would go on set for the upcoming movie that you got cast on. You felt happy that you were finally working again, but you really wanted a short break from it all. You wanted to take a hot bath and stay in the tub for hours and hours, and not be worried about a certain time that you would have to go to bed. Right now you just wished something could happen. Something great. Anything- anything at all.

“Y/N! I need you to listen to this! It’s a call from one of the directors that are shooting that one movie.”

You curled your lips at the mention of another movie. Wait. You just finished filming a movie and now directors are wanting to talk to you? You remembered that once you started your acting career things weren’t looking too good for you, but now that directors have seen your face plastered for nominations, you were literally getting loads and loads of calls from so many directors.

“For what movie?” You asked.

“It was that one movie that you were so interested in!”

“Wait, the movie that has the main female character be an advocate for lgbtq+ community during the 1960s?”

Emma nodded her head in excitement.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!

You were beyond excited when you got the news that a few directors were going to make a movie about the  lgbtq+ movement. It was going to be a beautiful and yet tragic project. You wanted no more than to just be casted in this movie. You didn’t care if you were going to be casted as the side characters, but all you cared about was having the chance to be part of a life changing movie.

You grab the phone from Emma and answer.

“Hello?” You squeak. You couldn’t contain your excitement anymore.

The director’s voice comes on the line and you get more jumpy when the director mentioned that you got a part in the movie. He didn’t say what character you were going to play as, but you were ecstatic of course.

Once you said your goodbyes and thank yous to the director you hang up the phone and look behind to see Emma. She was grinding her teeth and her eyes wide open as if she was waiting for you to spill the beans.

“Well?” Her arms extended.

You couldn’t contain yourself any longer and erupted with a happy dance.

“I fucking got it! I got a part in the movie!” You bounced up and down in place as your manager jumped to you and danced along with you. You two were like two little bunnies hopping in place.

You stopped dancing in place when you heard your phone chime in the distance. You look behind and retrieve your phone and see that you got a message from a private number.

Private Number: I just heard the news! I’m excited for you! You fucking deserved the part.

You: Who is this?

Private Number: Ah shit sorry. It’s Chris. Chris Evans

Emma peeks over your shoulder. A prominent smile on her face.

“It’s Chris Evans I see.” She smirks as you lightly hit her arm. Your cheeks tinting a soft pink.

You Chris! Hi! How are you!

Wait, that's too many exclamation marks. Maybe notch it down a bit.

Hi Chris! How are you?

Chris Evans Hi. I’ve been good. I just got a call from the director that is going to direct that movie that you just got in. I got the male leading role. I’m excited to work alongside you.

Chris got the lead male role? You are going to be in a movie along with Chris? No, no, no- this is literally a dream. How could you have been able to be casted on a movie with one of your favorite actors?

You took a deep breath and contemplated what you wanted to send him. You went along with saying how excited you were about the movie and you were also excited to work along with him.

You and Chris continued texting each other back and forth for the next couple minutes. Throughout the activity you had a smile on your face, but your smile would slowly fade once you thought back to when you told your boyfriend that you got casted on your second movie.

~~  ~~  ~~

You were literally jumping on the couch when you found out the news. Your phone was clutched in your hands as you had it close to your chest, not wanting to let go or ever delete the message that you received from the directors. You just couldn't wait to tell Harry about the big news.

And speaking of Harry, you hear the door of the house open and Harry came in wearing a gray sweatshirt along with a red bandana tucked in his messy curls.

'Hi darlin'. How was your day?' He put his gym bag down on the floor and lazily removed his shoes near the doormat.

You excitedly jump off the coach and tackle him into a hug. You catch Harry off guard as his back hits the wall and wraps his arms around your body.

'What’s going on, love?' A waiver in his voice. He sounded concerned and looked concerned as well. You look up to him and his brows are furrowed in concentration and his lips are set in a thin line.

You cup his cheeks and caress the rough stubble that was starting to grow on his cheeks. You smile brightly at him as he smiles back, confused why you were so happy. He loved seeing you like this obviously, but he just sensed that something brought you into a good mood.

'I got it!' You finally say. Still, Harry was very confused at what exactly you got.

'Got what, love- oh wait… you got the part?!'

You nodded in agreement.

Harry then ran towards you and lifted you up from the ground and twirled you around. His mouth connecting with your cheeks as your eyes were shut as the close presence of Harry made you feel protected and loved. Harry was beyond happy with you at this moment and he was waiting for the right time to ask you to marry him if he ever did get that chance.

You were enveloped in his arms for the rest of the night and you both watched your favorite movies. But with you and Harry, you both never actually watched the movies because you two ended up making love that same night.

The very last time you both were intimate with each other.

~~  ~~  ~~

You hugged the pillow close to your chest. Emma left right after you finished talking with Chris and now all you felt was the absence of a certain someone. You wanted to see him so bad, but then again you two were probably already broken up by this point. So you shifted your thoughts from Harry back to Chris.

You Hey! Do you want to come by sometime to have dinner?

… Chris Sure! Special occasion?

You Could be? Just celebrating that we got parts for an upcoming movie?

… Chris Okay, awesome! I can come by Friday if that’s okay?

You Sure! Friday it is then. How about around seven?

Chris Yeah that works for me. I’ll come by your place.

You Great! I’ll send you my address!

Chris Can’t wait to see you Y/N!

You Me too :)

You turned off your phone and set it on the coffee table in front of you. You sit back, your arm shading you from the living room lights. You just sat there on the couch for what felt like hours. And you didn’t have anything else interesting to do after your text messages with Chris.

You left your phone untouched, sitting still on the coffee table. You get up from the couch and walk towards your bedroom and close the door behind you. If only you could feel happy right now. You wished about feeling the happiness you were aiming for, but the harder you tried to,  it just became easier to lose the feeling of being happy. You obviously felt happy with everything that was going on in your life at this moment, but you didn't really feel that ecstatic energy that you once felt before.

~~  ~~  ~~

It was Friday. You felt like staying in bed for the rest of the day, but you knew that you had to get ready for a guest later.

So you did your morning routine as usual and you started to do small things around the house. Organized the shelves in the living room, and wiped down the dining table and you even prepared a pot of water where you were going to put potatoes to boil.

You weren't really wanting a fancy dinner, but you wanted something that could fill you and Chris up for the evening.

For the rest of the day you continued to cook and clean here and there. During parts of your cooking sessions you would dance to the rhythm and sing out loud as you tried to be in sync with the blaring speakers.

Within the comfort of your home, it was a wholesome experience when it all came together. Food was cooked and the music was now at a low murmur in the background, and your thoughts roamed through your head. A buzzing sound is what it sounded more like, as if you were a busy bee, but only hearing it in your brain.

After the food was cooked you went over the table and made some small adjustments that needed to be mended with. You made sure that the table had space where the large dishes would be set at. And you also made sure that the table made itself inviting. A vase of flowers perched in the middle, and a little decorative object you loved having presented on the table.

Now that you finished cooking the food and organized the table all you had to do now was wait. It was 6:40, so Chris could come any minute now. You tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear and smoothed over your top as if your shirt was getting more wrinkles by every passing minute. You just sat on the couch looking ahead at a blank wall waiting for the blue-eyed man to come.

And as if on queue, you heard a distinct knock near the door. You got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway that led to the kitchen. You stop on your tracks, almost making it to the door. You wait until you hear another knock. The soft pounding on the door comes again and so you start walking towards the door this time and slowly open the door revealing Chris wearing a black Henley paired with some blue-washed jeans. His feet were adorned with black sneakers.

You move aside and invite Chris in. A smile slowly showing on his face. You look down at the ground and prepare on what you were going to say, but once you were going to say something; Chris stopped you.

“How are you, Y/N?” Chris asked as he brought you close to him and pecked your cheek.

“I’m doing fine. And you?” You answer back.

“Great.” He nodded as you motioned towards the living room.

Chris was met with picture frames hung on the simple white painted walls, and some that you set on top of shelves. The couch sat adjacent to the coffee table that had little miscellaneous objects.

“Here, just sit here for now, let me set the table so we can eat.” You suggested as you walked towards the kitchen without getting a reply from Chris.

You started setting the table; you put the main dish in the middle along with the mashed potatoes. The sun's rays were starting to peek through the curtains which illuminated the kitchen. The rays almost blinded you from what you were currently doing. You grabbed the plates and utensils. You didn't notice Chris was standing next to you, he takes the utensils that were in your hands and sets them on the table. You smile brightly at him as he returns the gesture.

Chris sits down on a chair that is across from where you were going to sit. He waits for you to get settled onto your chair and unfolds his napkin and lays it on his lap.

“So you literally made all of this?” Chris inquired. His right hand holding a fork. You looked from your plate and caught his eye. The sunrays were cascading a light blue hue to his eyes and it was something that you couldn't stop laying your eyes on.

“Of course. What do you think? That I was going to order takeout?”

Chris shrugged, “Would’ve been a shorter route.” You smiled at that as you continued to eat some of your mashed potatoes.

And the night went just like that. You and Chris ate and conversed on the side. You were glad that Chris came to have dinner with you, because you honestly made it an excuse to do something. If you never invited Chris in the first place then you would have probably slept in and watched a lot of your favorite movies and shows. But hey, there was nothing wrong with that too.

But now you weren't so sure. It just felt odd for some reason. You were thinking about Harry. You wished that you could call Harry and tell him that you were ready to go back to what things used to be. You wished that you never put on a break on the relationship.

But who knows if you have the courage to call him.

~~  ~~  ~~

“So was it really that bad?” You asked.

You and Chris have already finished with your dinner. Now it was for embarrassing stories. You already had told your story so now it was time for Chris to tell his.

Chris takes a sip of his beer and almost bursts out laughing.

“You know. Having a brother like Scott is huge work. There was this one time where we both got drunk, but I was still a little sober, so I went to look for him since we were outside swimming in the beach-”

“Bad idea.” You interrupted.

“I know,” Chris chuckles again. “So I finally found him and he was lying on the sand as the ocean waves continued to touch shore. I was so fucking scared because he could have drowned so I grabbed his shirt and as I was pulling him towards me I saw shit on the sand-" Chris couldn't finish what he was going to say, before laughing his ass off.

"I turned him around and his swim shorts were covered in shit.” Chris laughed out loud. His hand grasping his left pec.

You as well laughed along with Chris. That story was literally one of the funny things you have heard in a while.

While you two talked you invited Chris a glass of wine- glasses of wine. You started to talk more about the new movie project that you got along with Chris, and you were honestly excited for what would be waiting for you. You continued talking as Chris just sat back and listened along. You have probably drunk two or three glasses of wine, but to be honest you didn’t quite remember how many glasses you have drunk. As to Chris he was taking it slow on the wine. He only drank one glass and a half, since he had to drive anyway.

The talking was non stop, but to some point it had to come to a stop. Chris was ready to leave your place. He let that feeling sit, but he knew that he had to get going. It was getting late after all.

“I’m gonna get out of your hair now, Y/N.” He announced. Hearing him definitely made you quiet.  “Wonder if we can do this again?” He got up from his chair and walked towards the two big sliding doors that led to the massive backyard.

Was he asking for another hangout?

“Uh sure? I mean if you’re up for it.” You stuttered out. You follow Chris close behind, leaving the large sliding doors open.

Chris walked along the pebbled path that led to the driveway. There was just silence between you and him as you walked alongside him. The willingness of letting this day go was distant and it made you seem so sure that this night was one of those nights that you enjoyed in a long time. You started enjoying Chris’s company and you felt this coat of sadness weighing on your shoulders. You were really going to miss having him there or was it because of something else?

Suddenly Chris stopped at his tracks and looked behind, he grabbed your right hand and carefully held it in his. You loved that touch, that simple, soft, and yet delicate touch that you always loved when-,

Chris walked close to you and finally embraced you. He felt hesitant at first as if he should not do what he was wanting to do. He slowly leaned forward and cupped your cheek, he closed the space that separated you and him and he landed his lips on top of yours.

Well, shit.

He smelled delightful. A smell that you would smell if you were living in a cabin deep in the woods. Cedarwood and pine trees-, no stop. Why were you thinking about Chris that way? You couldn’t and you shouldn’t.

“No.” You whispered. You removed your lips from his and stepped back, “This is wrong, we shouldn’t-,”

Chris retrieved his hands back, not knowing what to do with them, he gave in and put them at his sides.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Y/N.” Chris apologized, “Fuck I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-,”

“I think you should leave.” You cut him off.

Chris had his hands up in surrender and walked backwards. His expression was blank, there was no longer a smile and his eyes were no longer twinkling under the moonlight. He looked to turn back to you, but you weren’t looking at him; you had turned around looking at the ground, ashamed for what you let him do. Chris turned back towards his car with his head low and his hands buried in his pants pockets.

“You fucking idiot, Chris! God dammit.” He mouthed under his breath.  

------------------------------------------

Harry parked behind some dark bushes and opened his car door and swiftly got out. He closed the door after he retrieved the bouquet of flowers that he had bought for you.

He began to fix his hair. He didn’t have to fix his hair, but he did it out of nervousness. He walked up the trail that led to the backyard. His smile was prominent as he hugged the bouquet of flowers close to his chest. At that moment he had no idea where you were at, but he hoped with his gesture he would be able to have you back.

He continued walking with that smile still present on his features. He stood still when he briefly looked up and saw you close to another man- kissing. Harry couldn’t do anything at that moment because he just felt confused and angry, so he just stood in place and continued to watch you and this other man kiss.

Harry waited until the man was nowhere to be seen. He started walking towards you where you had turned around looking down at the ground. He couldn’t bear to see you now that he just witnessed you kiss another man.

You felt someone touch your shoulder. You opened your eyes and turned around ready to face Chris.

“Chris, I told you ju-,” You stopped yourself when you were fully turned around. You expected to see Chris, but you never expected to see Harry, your boyfriend for the past three years, the person you were on a break with.

“Harry.” You muttered. You instantly felt everything shatter around you.

Harry didn’t say anything to you, he just stood there right in front of you. You looked down and saw the bouquet of flowers in his right hand; his hand clutched the bouquet so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"I saw everything." He told you.

"Harry let me explain-," you said, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Don't," he moved closer to you. "Please don't make it hurt more than it already does." Harry warned. He cupped your cheek. "I just-, I wasn't ready to lose you. Especially now that I came back from the tour." Harry stuttered out. He looked down at the bouquet of flowers. His rings sparkled from the moonlight. His voice was shaky and his eyes were also forming tears. He knew that he had to break the relationship between you and him, so… that was what he was going to do.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He confessed.

Those words broke the sweat and it broke the feelings. The night changed from light to darkness, inviting the depths of the hollering ghouls of the night.

"I'm s- I'm so sorry, Harry." You let out. Your head hung low.

You wished that you backed away when Chris neared you, you fucking wish that you never invited him for dinner, because then- because then this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t be losing your friend, your boyfriend. The man that you loved for three years, the man that you were sure you were going to marry, and the man that you would one day have children with. But now, all that was left was just heartache and a massive regret.

Harry looked down at the bouquet of flowers that were clenched in his right hand, his rings sparkled from the moonlight. He motions it towards you and you take it from his hands.

"Me too." He whispered. His brows furrowed and the corners of his pink lips pulled downward.  

"Harry-," you started.

You leaned forward to touch his cheek, but Harry didn't let you touch him, he just backed away from you. You knew you messed up. And the guilt and pain that you started to feel in your heart was so huge that you couldn’t describe how much it hurt, but it hurt so much. Seeing Harry backing away from your touch did something to you. You were once so used to seeing Harry craving for your touch, but now it seemed as if Harry saw you as a stranger and not someone that he once loved, someone that he was once madly in love. The memories now just seemed like a false life. Memories that no longer existed.

Harry turned around without saying another word to you. He began walking towards his car. He was trying very hard to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks, but he couldn’t fight his body. He let the tears trail down his cheeks as he continued his walk towards his car. You stood on the pebbled path for a moment. You stared behind Harry as he was making it close to his car. You didn't have the guts to run to him, because he made it perfectfully clear that he didn’t want anything to do with you.

The whole world shattered. The man that you were in love with for the past three years was gone. There were no longer stars nor moon that would guide the way through the dark night. Everything that happened that night was slowly coming to an infinite end. The one person that you loved was now forced to move on from you and you were left with your selfishness and the regret. You wished that somehow that this night would have never happened. You wished that this was all a bad dream, but you knew that reality felt more real than any other dream.

You were now sobbing. The tears drastically came down your cheeks and your throat felt heavy and painful. You began swiping away the tears that were falling down your cheeks with your hand. You glanced up, and for the last time you saw Harry’s car drive away. You knew for a fact that you both lost each other that night.

~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~  ~~