#errors in resentment

[alexandraisyes]

Alright chat I'll make you a deal. When I reach 1000 followers on any of my platforms I will commission Davis to voice act this segment from my Errors in Resentment fic, and get it animated.

His grin wavered back into a frown, “Don’t worry about it.” He muttered, turning back to the surface of the table. “I am worried about it!” Ruin shrilled, “Quite frankly, your behavior as of late has been extremely worrying!” He continued, uncrossing his arms to use his hands for emphasis. “You haven’t even touched any of your personal projects in a week, and you’ve made hardly any progress on Bloodmoon because you’ve been burying yourself inside of your own code! I’m allowed to worry!” Irritation bubbled up and spilled over, “Why? Because I’m not working on your shit anymore?” Eclipse fired back, sitting back to scowl up at Ruin. “That’s why you brought me back, right? To work on your shit?” “Well, yes, but that’s not why I’m worried!” “Then why?!” Eclipse asked voice strained near Sun levels of pitch. He threw his hands up in exasperation, “You treat me well, you aren’t violent to the point you cause harm, and I know you can be dangerous, but you haven’t tried to pull a fast one on me yet. I’ve seen how you treat that golden idiot and his damned brother, but you don’t dance circles around me. So why, Ruin? Why do you worry, why do you act like you care ?!” He seethed, half out of the chair by now, on more physically equal footing than he had been sitting, when Ruin was sitting on the table. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because I do ?!” Ruin yelled back, posture stiff, built-in claws fully extended. A defensive position, Eclipse’s HUD informed him, a fighting position. “Well, don’t! Don’t care, it’s not going to get you anywhere! I’m not going to change, I’m not going to become this hero you look up to Sun for!” Eclipse snarled, own claws flexing in response. Geared for a fight, he hadn’t had a fight in stars knew how long, maybe this is what he needed. Piss off Ruin so those damnable emotions would stop. “Quite frankly! I don’t want you to change!” Ruin shot back, “Have you ever once considered maybe I enjoy your company the way that it is? Or are you too blind by your own fucking insecurities that you can’t see outside of the box that is Eclipse?”

Lucky me I don't expect to hit 1k for a long while, I'm only at 400 as of writing this. So I've plenty of time to let this fester. (For those that don't know what EiR is it's basically my "Eclipse and Ruin are friends" AU that I made before we got copy Eclipse.)

[deathpactagainn]

Pencil and Pen, two sides of the same coin.

My personal analyses of Pen and Pencil

I wanted to take a crack at looking into these two's back to back lash out's. Firstly, I'd like to cover these two's obvious parallels seen in both the writing and visuals. As seen in the picture, they both have very similar scenes of which they both respectively begin to lash out at someone, both due to built up anger. They both share the similar mindset of "I can't lose this challenge", however, for completely different reasons.

Pencil is very clearly traumatized by her 6 years in the exit, being mortified by just the presence of Four. She sees challenges as no more than obstacles she must get through in order to win, but not just to win the game, but for immunity, for her guaranteed survival. She disregards her teammates and have little to no care for them due to this fact, but also due to her 'isolated' mentality. She believes she has no allies in this game and that people don't care for her, even when she quite literally has people shouting otherwise in her ear. All of this combined just drives her further to do anything to win, and that is where she is similar with Pen.

Whilst Pencil has (arguably) selfish motivations, Pen has selfless ones. He believes he needs to win the challenge's to guarantee his friends are safe, not him. After losing his closest friends (Blocky, Eraser, Needle) he is terrified of the possibility of losing more. He see's it almost as his responsibility to keep his friends safe, and it leads to so much repressed anger inside of him (but we'll get back to that later). Pen is angry at Pencil due to believing she was the reason Eraser got out (at the time his only friend in the game), and once he finally finds something to put his anger towards, he snaps. We quickly see how even when he's mad he tries to keep his cool, like how he still tried to save Pencil, but I think his anger is a new side of him they should touch on more (again, we'll come back to this).

Now, I also would like to touch on the topic of friendship between these two, because I think their respective relationships with other characters are very important to them as individuals. This is mainly prominent with Freesmart and the Blocky, Eraser, Pen trio.

Pencil still tries to hold onto Freesmart, despite everyone else (for the most part) letting it go. It's her only sense of normalcy in this game, especially considering how she was a late joiner in TPOT. She cannot bear the idea of someone else caring for her due to her character, so she chases after people she already knows, however, these are people she's actively hurt. Book and Ice Cube actively try to leave Freesmart in the past, seeing it as a toxic environment (and rightfully so) but which how much Pencil is attached to the concept of Freesmart being back in their prime (example; her getting back the freesmart supervan) she can't let the two go, even if they've already let her go. Pencil is not evil, of course, but that doesn't mean she isn't flawed. She's careless to the people she loves until it's too late yet turns away any sort of care from other parties. She's almost stuck in her ways, what with how badly she want's Freesmart to come back despite the ways in which she's hurt them.

Now, juxtaposed to how Pencil chases friendship's she actively diminished, Pen chases relationships diminished by others. I would like to preface this by saying that I don't inherently believe Blocky or Eraser are bad people or even bad friends, but rather they've done bad things. Moving on, we see in TPOT 1 that Pen doesn't even know Blocky is gone. Isn't that a little.. strange? Considering how close the two are, it's so weird to me that Blocky left without saying a word, even knowing that they'd be separated for not only months, but years. It's such a small detail but something I can't help but point out. Onto Eraser, I think their relationship is a little more complicated. Again, this isn't to say that Eraser doesn't like Pen, but it's always so obvious who puts in more effort towards their relationship, and it's not Eraser. Pen is always giving 110% with his friends whilst he just doesn't get the same in return, which I believe should be turned into somewhat of a plot point. And now Pen's anger is back (told ya). I think it'd be interesting if rather than Pen turning his anger into something to mourn his friends, he'd turned into something against them. I feel like he lets them off the hook too easily just for simply being his friend, and I'd like to see this be brought up in an episode rather than just throwing a plot point of Pen being mad at Pencil for whatever reason.

I might've gotten a little sidetracked but whatever. My point is that Pen and Pencil have many parallels with their relationships and the way they're almost obsessed with their friends, with them obviously differentiating with how they treat their friends and also with the way they treat new possible friendships, such as how Pencil turns away Cloudyay to protect herself but Pen instead embraces BAGGED and tries to protect them.

That's all I really have to say I guess. Sorry if any of this doesn't make sense, I'm just spitballing here lol. Feel free to share any thoughts of your own of gaps in my writing :p thanks for reading

[dominom3th]

It hurts to be something…

Its worse to be nothing-

With

You…

And then he goes on to commit mass genocide bc his boyfriend remembered shit womp womp :D /hj

Error is by CrayonQueen

Ink is by Comyet

Fanfic is made by @honeybubbletea33 <3

Lyric reference is Promise by Laufey

[room217prayer]

Thoughts about Feyre and the sister dynamics

So, I'm just getting better, I'm not 100% well, but I'm still trying to re-read Acotar and... I must say that this time I did take another look at Feyre's dynamic with her sister, Nesta and Elain.

Especially in retrospect in how most of the fandom perceived both Nesta (mostly) and Elain in a bad light thanks to those first few chapters, because of how they treated Feyre, but... It's way overexaggerated. In my opinion. Or unwarranted if I dare say.

Ok, these are just my takes, me going deep because I can and I have fun in doing so. (Long rambling ahead!)

For this post I will concentrate only on the 2nd chapter of Acotar, but I'll come later with the rest. Anyway, this is the chapter in which the Archeron family, Feyre's father, and sisters, are introduced to us readers, and what it gives us is a premise of an already existing tension/situation in the home.

Something that happened outside of what we see. Of what even Feyre herself tells us.

There's already bitterness in everything Feyre's sees and think about her sisters, how Elain is surprised by what she brought home - how she doesn't comment about the blood -

"Where did you get that?" "Where do you think I got it?"

In this passage there's even Feyre being bitter that their mother made her make that promise. But what I want to focus on this is... Elain is surprised to see Feyre, to see her with a deer. Maybe it's the sheer of the prey she got (a little doe, yes, that she slumped on the table, that she took from the forest, in a place farther away than she used to go: Feyre is strong) or maybe there's something else.

"Feyre. What luck you had today - in bringing us such a feast." From beside my father, Nesta snorted.

Now, in this passage, Feyre takes this snort from Nesta as a critique/insult toward her, her accomplishment, but before and after she keeps underlining how Nesta ignored their father, how she belittles him... Resents him. So, I actually took it as her 'snort' being directed towards their father. Who didn't do anything for them.

But Feyre is quick to take it as an attack toward herself, even if immediately after she thinks this: And any words from our father usually resulted in her ridicule as well.

MHM.

Another thing: in this whole chapter Feyre keeps mentioning how Nesta resents their father. How she was the one who saved him from the beating thanks to her soiling herself and after she vomited the men left - while Elain and Nesta hid themself in their room. AND at the same time she hates him, she resents him too. But condemn Nesta for expressing the same feelings she has.

But at least Nesta didn't fill our head with useless talk of regaining our wealth like our father. / When my father still couldn't - wouldn't - move much about, he hadn't argued when I announced that I was going hunting. He hadn't bothered to stand from his seat by the fire, hadn't bothered to look up from his wood carving. He let me walk into those deadly, eerie woods that even the most seasoned hunters were wary of.

Mhm... I feel anger in these words, in her thoughts towards their father. So much resentment. AND, just to push this: He hadn't argued, he hadn't bothered, he LET ME walk into these deadly eerie woods.

Now, a great part of a certain side of the fandom loves to blame Nesta (and in some ways Elain) about letting Feyre go hunting, but guess who she blames? THEIR FATHER. BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING.

And, since I can push it more, this passage - to me - gives me that someone did argue, bothered and wouldn't want to let her walk into these woods, who? The sisters, maybe mainly Nesta. Why do I think this? Because she's focusing on her father who didn't, on the one who didn't protest. Do something.

And now, back to Feyre with the deer, the surprise of Elain, how in the first chapter she says "Hunger had brought me farther from home than I usually risked". Those deadly, eerie woods that even the most seasoned hunters were wary of. Maybe her sisters begged her to not go there, that far. But, one thing we learn quickly, is that she doesn't accept a no. Feyre does what she wants. She is the one who holds control and power. The last word.

Now, about Nesta comment: "You stink like a pig covered in its own filth. Can't you at least try to pretend that you're not an ignorant peasant?"

Now, remember: Feyre is covered in blood, guts, and Nesta is even touching her cloak. And she has just slammed a corpse on their table, where they eat. Idk about you, but this comment is the least of things, and look how she emphasized that try. Something tells me they did discuss more about this.

And then, Feyre's thinks this:

Older than me by three years, she somehow looked younger than I did.

Her oldest sister, of three years older, in her eyes looks younger than herself. Because Feyre sees herself as the caregiver of her family, the matriarch. She has a right to their money. Not even their father. She decides who to give it to. She hides it from Nesta. She is the one who has power and control over her family.

The chopping wood discussion to me felt more like spite trowed to Feyre by Nesta. Because we know that she does cut the wood, she does it in these chapters, but her words? Feels like a taunt, a reproach.

"I hate chopping wood. I always get splinters." She glanced up from beneath her dark lashes. Of all of us, Nesta looked the most like our mother - especially when she wanted something. "Besides, Feyre," she said with a pout, "you're so much better at it! It takes you half the time it takes me. Your hands are suited for it - they're already so rough" [...] Elain murmured a soft plea to Nesta, which earned a hiss in response. [...] "Get the knives ready," I said, not bothering to sound pleasant. "I'll be out soon." Without warning for an answer, I shut the door behind me.

To me this exchange feels like Feyre did comment on Nesta's nails, about her softer hands in the past. Maybe she did critique her on her technique, how she wasn't fast enough, and how she compared them. So Nesta taunts her with her words. "You're so much better at it!" She even pouts. Nesta. Elain then murmurs a plea to her and look how Feyre is like: get the knives, I'll be out soon. Like they HAVE to do what she said. No way to go against it or to say anything on the matter. This could have happened more than once. In different contests.

Then here they dine and - once again - she is in charge on how much everyone can eat. Her, not their father, no opinion taken from Nesta or Elain. She let them take another round, but no more than that. No discussion about it. And here is the dinner, the one thing that actually made me want to make this post, lol, it took me long enough ahaha.

Anyway, another thing that becomes evident during it is how unreliable she is when she listens to her sisters's gossip:

Since we had lost our fortune, their former friends dutifully ignored them, so my sisters paraded about as though the young peasants of the town made up a second-rate social circle / "We're in love," Nesta declared, and Elain nodded her agreement. I almost laughed - when had they gone from mooning over aristos to making doe-eyes at peasants?

A little biased, aren't we Feyre? On how she perceives everything Nesta says as a critique/insult and how she sees the same people they live around/with. AND how she doesn't really listen and sees how both Elain and Nesta have changed: when had they gone from mooning to doe-eyes? I WONDER IT TOO. They sure had, they even made FRIENDS, unlike you.

Then here is their discussion: it starts after Elain says that Tomas wants to marry Nesta.

I blinked. Nesta cocked her head. I'd seen predators use that movement before. "Is there a problem, Feyre?" she flung my name like an insult.

I truly wonder what expression she had when she "blinked". How she compared Nesta cocking her head to a predator and her question? The way she said her name? Nesta was preparing herself to affront the discussion that was coming. The judgment. She was steeling herself. And indeed, Feyre didn't miss.

"You can't chop wood for us, but you want to marry a woodcutter's son?" Nesta squared her shoulders. "I thought all you wanted was for us to get out of the house - to marry off me and Elain so you can have enough time to paint your glorious masterpieces."

Nesta squared her shoulders and then she said these words that for sure Feyre did say more than once, the one she probably threw at them during the heat of a fight. As she thought: Some days, I couldn't tell which of us was the most wretched and bitter.

And the fact is: she wants them out of her life, off her shoulders. She thinks this more than once. Not to say how she underline how they have no dowry ("We can't afford a dowry, for either of you") ad the way she does so is not as a younger sister, no. She's thinking like a parent, a father/mother worried about the fate of her daughters. Again, she put herself as the caregiver of her sisters.

But before I go further, here's another moment where Feyre is biased in her narrative, when the read and the situation itself feel differently:

I laid my palms flat on the table as I stared her down, Elain removed her hand from where it lay nearby, as if the dirt and blood beneath my fingernails would somehow jump onto her porcelain skin. "Tomas's family is barely better off than ours," I said, trying to keep from growling.

She thinks that Elain retreats her hand because she's afraid of her staining her "porcelain skin", but... What if she did that to take herself out from the tension, from the line of fire? Feyre laid her palms flat on the table, staring down Nesta. She almost growls. She is strong. I'm not saying that Feyre did ever hit the sisters, but... sometimes fear is prevalent. Elain taking her hand away from hers could've been her way to escape the situation, maybe the wrath of Feyre. And not because she was afraid she would be stained. Yes, maybe she didn't grow vegetables, but Elain did take to gardening. She does stain her hands. So this is only a bias Feyre has toward herself, and toward her sisters. She's insecure about her appearance, and how she is wilder in compared to them.

This felt like a way for Elain to guard herself.

Then... Feyre tells Nesta she's a burden and Nesta does lash out.

I've seen it being talked again and again on how what she says is unforgivable, but... let's see what she actually says:

"What do you know?" Nesta breathed. "You're just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up, and someday - someday, Feyre, you'll have no one left to remember you, or to care that you ever existed." [...] I'd heard the words before - and knew she only repeated them because I'd flinched that first time she spat them.

She doesn't say that others will not remember or care she exists. She is saying: if you keep barking orders at all hours of the day, being controlling... you will be left with no one to remember you. To care about you. Because she would have pushed them away and this is not the first time this has been said.

Feyre then looks to their father, ask him to do something, to make see reason to Nesta, but her father doesn't. She reset him more about it.

And guess who, in the future, will help her to get control over her sister? Rhysand.

Boom, mic drop.

Sorry, I had to dfdsfsdfd.

Anyway, this long ass post, with mostly me rambling, was to say that: who had the power in their home was never Nesta or Elain or even their father - who was supposed to be THE ONE - but Feyre. Who then is living contradiction.

And I would like to say more, but I've already written too much and I hope all of this makes sense lol

[ulteri0rm0tives]

....and if I said I wanted Johnny and Kerry in the messiest divorce arc since Paul McCartney and John Lennon.. what then...

[thisisanerror]

New Lackadaisy ocs! (Audrey the ginger boy and Hannah the brown haired girl)

They’re fankids of the union of my oc and my friend’s ocs, which in turn is a fankid of her other oc and Mordecai Heller. Their whole lore is weird, their parents are weird haha. I just want to draw cats and pretend they’re still related to lackadaisy regardless of how disconnected I get from the main plot and characters lol.

[blacksheepstuff]

Resent & Ents

Resent & Ents - @chaoticshoeflaphairdo

[iangallagherisadeadman]

honestly I really like the fact we don't know shit about Laura Milkovich cause neither Mickey or Mandy knows shit about Monica and they haven't met her either it seems fair

[grvntld]

yung notes app ko here sa phone ko puro kalungkutan tots and feels laman kasi tbfh sobrang lungkot ko lately. i know it's important that i go through tough times and not run from them, but damn it, im just so tired of going through it. im so tired. im exhausted. i feel depleted. i just feel so weak and defeated all over.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

spending money on gacha games is bad for a lot of reasons but all of that aside ur either on a very deep level of denial or around the wrong social group if ur going "well i spent money on a gacha game but not for the gacha part so it doesnt count" brother u spent the money the company doesnt care which aspect ur spending it on its still a gacha game and u just said u spent the money That Counts As Spending Money On A Gacha Game

[alexandraisyes]

Would you write Ruin having a mental breakdown?

Yes! I have before and I will most definitely do it again! He's so fun to fuck with emotionally. I've done a few different rambles about it for different AUs that I'll eventually get around to writing. He has a few emotional breakdowns in Errors in Resentment too.

Ruin struggled to find words, his corrupted processors coming up blank with what he wanted to say. The feelings he wanted to convey. Things he didn’t understand, not fully, but didn’t want to run from them like Eclipse did. Failing to find what he wanted to say, to figure out what he wanted to do about the situation, he let go of Eclipse’s hand with a nervous laugh. “Never mind.” He muttered, stepping back and watching as Eclipse hesitated, then left the room. He ignored the frustrated tears that spilled down his cheeks, ignored the way his code snapped and bristled at him in irritation for his inaction, ignored how corrupted systems surged forward to paint his vision in staticky purple. He grabbed the cup Eclipse had given him, rinsed it, dried it, and stared at it before hurling it across the room as hard as he could, getting no satisfaction in the way it shattered against the door. With a silent sob, he sank to the floor, ignoring the notifications swarming his vision about the mess, curling up into himself and letting emotion consume him.

The silly little snippet of emotional breakdown from EiR

Related Post - Ask Game

[thesealfriend]

gonna start going out of my way to make a bad first impression with people tbh, like "here i am an awkward inconsistent mess of a human and i will not sway from my views on these specific things, if that's not for you please don't even try to be my friend", because doing literally anything else has just set me up to disappoint anyone who finds out i am not in fact capable of maintaining perfect composure, flawless logic (containing Just the right amount of emotional input) and All The Correct Opinions.

Entering my people-displeaser era, basically.

[venacoeurva]

You wanna hear about some absolutely maladaptive brain weirdness? That I have never seen anyone else have?

My brain’s uncanny valley response is just broken as hell. Most things that would trigger it just do not, I am so chilled out about dolls, mannequins, weird photoshops, masks, etc. Those don’t set anything off unless they hit that primal unease dead faces cause

But for some fucking reason my uncanny valley response is 90% just reactive to small children under about 7ish (over that and their proportions are more normal, they stop doing that Small Child Stare, and are less likely to just unpredictably bolt or grab you-- so they’re also not as overstimulating to me as well), and some monkeys that have light eyes. Monkeys and apes with black or brown eyes don’t trigger it, even if they have very close to human facial proportions. JUST certain types of monkeys with the lighter eye colors. Lemurs are totally fine

What the fuck even caused this

[meimeikyu]

I’m now imagining the bad sanses attacking an outertale au and when the star sanses go to the au swap/berror are just looking at the stars in amazement since they probably never seen them before outside of fake ones I bet they’ve seen at the dump

YESSSS U GET IT!!!!!

Dream n ink start trying to prevent damage n blue just like. freezes n stares at the stars

[bibiopic]

.

[roxannepolice]

I'm just going to sit here and be amazed at the fact that you can spend nearly twelve hours making a case of morality being complicated; that actions rarely have only good or only evil consequences; that magnanimous actions can be done for selfish reasons; that people can have selfless and selfish motivations at once; that you can develop an individual morality while social ethics remain at the corner of your eye to define yourself in line or in opposite to them;

and end up with an audience nodding and smiling patiently, waiting for the simple solution to get pulled out of your hat like a very tired rabbit.