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grind-pantera · 2 days

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Courting Imagines. ( Caesar x Reader, POTA. )

I'm a romantic at heart leave me alone. How did this end up being 6K+ words? Idk, but enjoy Next on this list for this series ( Courting ): Noa and Blue Eyes ( Potentially open to other characters, if you guys wanted! )

Does not know he’s actually courting you until it is brought to his attention by Maurice one slow afternoon. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

The two of them sitting and biding time, there’s not much to get done fortunately and Caesar is allowed a solemn downtime to rest and recoup after the chaos that had been happening recently as far as the influx of Humans stumbling upon the Colony and threatening them. As great as he was to lead his people, he wanted moments like this on occasion where he wasn’t being torn in thirteen different directions. Koba, Blue Eyes, Rocket, Ash, all having thoughts, all encompassing to Caesar who listened so intently to each of their concerns, and even the concerns of those outside of his council.

His gaze? Subsequently right on you as you were helping Lake rally in the young Apes into a circle. You had been blessed with time to spend with them for reading and learning, sharing the opportunity with Maurice when the attention was made that you were able to communicate to them to the point of understanding. Caesar paused when you lifted up a small Chimpanzee baby, giving himself a small huff as they climbed along your shoulder blades and began digging into your hair as you were talking. What about? Caesar could not hear but was more than entranced at watching your mouth form words.

Quietly, he drifted his eyes back forward to stare at the bonfire pensively. There was always a sense of pride that rocketed through his entire being at the notion that his people were free and prospering, but this time, he felt a bit more of an aggressive edge to the thought when you were added to the equation. It wasn’t an unsavory feeling, in fact, it was quite the opposite and Caesar preemptively accepted the lingerance, able to see your face when he closed his eyes.

You’d begun spending much more time together, almost all his days when he wasn’t thrusted into situations that beckoned his full attention were spent with you. Listening to you talk about Humanity, always a great perspective to Caesar who wrote off his eager curiosities about you as being the same as his curiosities for humanity as a whole. You’d gone fishing together, hunting on one occasion which he was partial to because you ultimately rode on the back of his horse and your entire body pressed against his own, you spent later evenings sitting by the fire in either silence or playful banter, sometimes even managing to get him to crack a smile or release a memory about his childhood with Humans.

He took silent pleasures when you would grasp his arm in laughter as you threw your head back in a laugh, green eyes lingering just a second too long on your exposed jugular, or when you would grasp at his hands when talking. All so Human, all so familiar to him but he wanted more deep down. Caesar especially liked it when you and he would spend time together and he was consciously aware that the rest of his Colony could smell his scent radiating from your body from the mere proximity you had to him. There was an animalistic prickle on his ears if he rested on that thought too long.

Maurice, attentive and intuitive to Caesar’s body language and thoughts, chittered silently to himself and that captivated the Ape King to break his glance on the fire. He had been in a deeply meditative state about you, somewhat grateful to the Orangutan otherwise Caesar was going to waste the entire afternoon recollecting the moments he had with you out of obsession to pick apart at the smaller details of them.

A great pass time for a King who loved strategy.

“Good,” Caesar spoke first and nodded his head in the direction of Lake, primarily you but he covered his tracks with the Ape his son had an acutely oblivious connection to, “She can take part of your duty.”

Maurice followed Caesar’s gaze and nodded in agreement, knowing fully well what he was alluding to without any more context, ‘She is smart.’ He signed, ‘Compassionate, would make for a great mate.’

Caesar scoffed at that, picking up a rock and throwing it mindlessly into the fire in front of him, his eyes sliding to you every few seconds. He’d linger only as long as he felt necessary, as long as no one else took notice. The thrown rock, a deflection of sorts, he shuffled back and looked at his wise friend, green eyes focused and determined. His gaze asked ‘what do you mean?’, almost grateful in a way that he didn't need to verbalize for Maurice for him to understand the expressive nature of Caesar’s brow ridge arched in questioning.

The large ape continued and chided Caesar, ‘You have considered that as a possibility, have you not?’

“Human as mate?” Caesar felt like his breath got caught in his chest as his voice came tumbling out in a deep baritone. Enriching, he would imagine, if he brought his face to the shell of your ear and whispered against it. ‘Distraction,’ Caesar signed to Maurice, ‘She….’ He hesitated his hands before choosing words, finding them a bit easier now to express instead of putting more effort into sign language. “Helps me forget what happened before.”

Maurice understood that. Cornelia, always such a sore point to bring up, especially when it was around both Caesar or Blue Eyes. She had passed away from complications after Blue Eyes was born and Caesar vowed to himself to never gravitate towards another, but in a bid to be less lonely in the scape of his longer life, he found himself drawn to you despite his best efforts.

‘Cornelia would understand,” Maurice was gentle with his actioned words, rumbling deep in his chest to Caesar who only nodded in minor agreement. ‘She would want your happiness. I can see it already, the way you look at her.’ Maurice turned his small green eyes in the direction of you and Caesar was prone to follow. He was captivated at you, how you were expressing with your arms now, two Chimpanzee babies cradling themselves along your shoulders now instead of the one he had seen climbing before.

Caesar broke away from that quickly and turned to look off in the opposite direction, ‘Just a distraction.’ He signed fervently.

Maurice, letting out a small sigh let his eyes rest on you for a few moments longer, knowing fully well that Caesar, as subtle as he tried to move and angle himself, was looking at you again, though this time the emotions of his eyes altered. They were almost softened, but the ridge of his brow stayed hard. Maurice knew better - Maurice could see the shifts in Caesar. It was only a matter of time until the Ape King came to the same realization.

Being brought to have a meal with him for the first time. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

Being escorted up the trail that landed where the Royal Ape family sat was not on your bingo-card for the timid Summer evening you found yourself swimming through. There were two Apes with you - Luca, who had to have been the definition of gentle giant and became a quick friend to you during your time at the Colony and Rocket, Caesar’s right hand man who had to be tied for that position with Maurice. You smiled graciously as they dropped you off at the perched ledge, your feet finding it difficult to move forward when you finally rested your gaze on the King himself. The pure intensity of his green gaze always left you feeling melted and soldered to the very ground you were standing on.

He wasn’t alone and you were quick to break your gawk to flicker your eyes to Blue Eyes, who in his reserved demeanor, only looked at you curiously and popped a berry into his mouth rather reluctantly. The smile you gave him was gentle, understanding. You’d be hesitant of a species you had never met just like he was. He had every right and it was never taken as an offense.

“I-I was told you wanted to see me.” You laughed, trying to cover up the nerves but you knew that Caesar was more than well aware of them based on the sweat radiating off your palms and forehead.

Silence, he just looked at you and captivated your gaze in a dance. It was hard not to look at him, his entire self, the way his shoulders carried his weight, the way his brow sat so sternly against the rest of his features, a permanent scowl always encasing the wrinkled lines along his cheeks, especially under his eyes. Caesar was an experience himself, in every sense of the word and you flexed your hand wanting nothing more than to know what his fur felt like.

He was sitting next to his son, picking up a fresh bowl of what looked like the Elk that had been caught in the hunt earlier in the day and a handful of select berries with a splash of roasted seeds. Your stomach churned at the sight, mouth suddenly dripping as it dawned upon you just how hungry you were.

The bowl slid your way along the slick rock and rattled right at your feet. You looked at it, and then at Caesar and then back at the food. You were about to open your mouth in protest, but Caesar spoke first, that delicious tone he used more than enough to stave off your hunger for days.

“Join.”

Stumbling forward, you were quicker than you wanted to be to grasp the bowl, feeling a bit dizzy when you stood with it in your hand, “Y-- You want me to join you up here? I don’t know, Caesar. Koba’s gonna---”

“Will take care of Koba, join.” Caesar assured you and tentatively put some seeds into his mouth. The crunching of his teeth against them enlightened your senses to how powerful of a jaw he really had and the floating notion that he could rip your limbs off one by one with them was alluring to dive into. Morbidly, you just wanted to know what it felt like. Instead, you felt encased in synthetic movement as you drifted towards him, like he was the source of all gravity, and sat cautiously down.

Cross legged, you placed your own bowl in your lap and set your eyes on the large Ape next to you, then to Blue Eyes who seemed equally curious at his Fathers choice of dinner guest, and then back to Caesar again. Swallowing softly, he did not meet your glance. Instead, silence fell over the two of you as he continued to eat, prompting Blue Eyes to do the same. It looked good, no doubt.

You felt hungry, but all of a sudden, all your eyes wanted to feast on was Caesar. The rise and fall of his shoulders as he moved through his own food, obviously picking out what he liked best from the assortment and bringing them to his lips. You paused there, watching as he placed a berry against them as if in contemplation, the juicy nature speaking wonders as a drip fell onto his chin as he turned towards you slowly. Swallowing, you looked down at your bowl in a bid that maybe he hadn’t seen you staring at him and pretended to be rather interested in the seeds you played around with with your pointer finger.

“Not… hungry?” He finally broke the silence that was radiating through the air like a daft bullet, looking at you from his periphery. The shaking of your hand was more than indicative, the flushed appearance of your cheeks made Caesar want to pick you up right then and trail to the nest. But, reservation was preserved, as it so often did.

“Starving.” You finally admitted with a bashful smile and licked your lips. “Don’t know where to start.”

“Berries are good.” Caesar commented hap-hazardly, delving a bit into the small talk that he knew Humans enjoyed, knew you enjoyed because it drew on your most basic instinct of belonging. He wanted that - for you to feel like you belonged, in fact, that was the entire basis of getting you to come join him for a meal. Just one, and if he felt it went well, there would be another, and then another.

You nodded at that. Berries are good. So, that’s where you started as you picked between them and placed a blueberry in your mouth, Caesar watching with great interest from between the focus on his own food and the floating eyes from his son as you placed it on the tip of your tongue first before bringing it into your mouth with a delectable chew.

Caesar giving you gifts/tokens. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It had been an incredibly long day - and it was one of those days where when one thing went wrong, the dominos began to fall and everything was coated in sour feelings. You had bumped your forehead rolling out of your hut this morning, forgetting that the doorway was smaller than your height, understandably so. Apes often walked on all fours, why would they need a doorway that gave enough clearance for an upright human?

The only place with that here was Caesar’s nest, perched high above the rest. It gave a sense of coziness, until you rammed your head against it. Every feeling in your body from that moment onwards just told you to stay home, that you’d be less of a detriment there than out with the hunt party that was departing at dawn. There was no sustenance to eat- you ended up at the Colony bonfire for breakfast too late. Only a few lingering berries remained, maybe an apple that had a bite taken out of it. Your horse refused to comply with your commands, almost biting your fingers off when you brushed your fingers a bit too close to their muzzle and looking at that now in self-reflection, she probably hated that you were in such a downward mood and sensed to play off of it and lastly, you had stepped in a puddle and the worn nature of your boots caused water to seep and linger on the wool socks you had on.

Grunting quietly to yourself as you trailed back towards your small home after arriving back from the hunt was more egregious; you just felt incredibly sore from sitting on your horse for most of the day, watching as the Apes embarked on a hunt. The grace of which you had never seen. They took to the skies from the trees, getting the advantage of pure silence as they were able to sign amongst each other when prey was spotted. They took to the ground, either on foot or on horseback, all encased in the vivid whitescape of their paint, some adornments of blue and red splashed against the most prestigious.

Caesar’s was red, the detailing on his face and down the center of his chest caught your attention right away but you tried not to linger too adamantly on that and figured you’d have time to obsess alone. And alone you were for most of the day. It was slow on your part- you found no human remnants to scour goods from, another thing to go wrong on a day that you didn't even want to be out of bed for.

Bringing a hand up, you lightly rested it against your shoulder and sighed to yourself, tendering the skin at the base of your neck with the pads of your fingers. Your horse had been given to Luca to place in the paddock, he must have sensed the sort of day it was from the way you dismounted the animal and grumpily handed him the reins. He did not say anything to you, but the kindness of his eyes spoke wonders as you had given him a slight smile before trailing off on your way. You just wanted to sleep and nothing more and your hut was only a few more paces away. The sweet victory of the idyllic nature of your nest was taunting you with its call. The warm animal pelts you had taken in, the knitted tight branches that were surprisingly buoyant when you shifted in your sleep. All things you wanted, all things you needed.

Your feet came to a slow stop against the slick rock underfoot as you rounded the corner towards your own hut, happily situated on the ground rather than floating up-above, as was the preference with Apes. Eyes widening in surprise at the basket in front of the entryway, you narrowed your gaze on it as you got closer, a bit afraid that perhaps Koba was playing a practical ( or cruel ) joke on you.

Upon further inspection with your eyes as you bent down to look at the contents, you deemed it safe and drove your fingers down to see what was in it. It was a simple wicker basket, but it wasn’t made by an Ape - you could tell from the fabrication and the glue that was holding some pieces together. Very obviously human, the Apes made better items than this. You imagined that, the idea of things like this being so mass-produced only ten years ago before the Flu took that away.

Lips parted as your fingers scaled the items in the basket and you were able to properly see what was inside, you felt a rather uncomfortable sensation lifting against your spine, upwards towards the base of your neck and then back downwards. There were… Human things in the basket. All human things. All things you enjoyed, a few bars of soap that were actually encased in original packaging, rare in this society. You looked at them, feeling tears hit the back of your eyes. Shampoo, conditioner. All things Apes wouldn’t understand, the vain essence of humanity holding and rearing its ugly head right against your chest at the fact that you had sorely missed these luxuries and you were going to savor them as long as you could. The last item - incredibly personal in nature.

Tampons.

You picked them up with vicious intent and peeled the box open. It was nearly full and you tilted your head back in pure relief, knowing that you could alternate between them and the cloths you had to be forced to use and re-wash when that time of the month came. There was only one Ape who had a vivid understanding of what it was used for which gave away the suspense of figuring out who had set the items out for you. These were given to you from the King himself; Caesar.

Jaw clenching tightly, you placed all the items back into the basket and lifted yourself up with the basket in tow as a few tears slid down from your eyes, across the barren nature of your cold cheeks and off the drop of your chin. You had no idea where he got ahold of these items, when he had split away from the pack he so often found himself surrounded by to go searching, but you were so incredibly grateful for them, the knowledge that you were able to hold onto a bit of yourself from before the Flu more evident now than ever.

Caesar paced himself on all fours, two or three meters away from you between the trees to make sure you got the items. There was no way for you to not deduce he was the one, there was just the added touch of assurance that you got the items that he was worried more about. He did see you look out, and for a split second, he thought his cover had been blown as you appeared to look right at him, but the nature of his fur catapulted him into a more camouflaged nature and he watched contently as you drifted into the hut you had made your home, arms full of the goods he was able to supply.

Caesar felt obscenely proud and selfishly so at the idea that these things would rocket him on your potential list of suitors. If you had one. If he oh so happened to even be included.

Caesar finally admitting to you his intentions / Forehead Touching for the first time. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It was a remarkably clear day, the thought was only spurred by the sun that drifted downwards and captivated against the skin of your shoulders deliciously. Geographically, you were burdened with many foggy days, many days where the sun could not peek its head out from behind the clouds. But today? Not a problem as you tilted your head back and drew a deep breath in with shut eyes. The way your body moved, the rounded entrancement of your chest, exposed as you were only wearing a light t-shirt, caught the attention of Caesar right away.

He had been so used to the fall and winter months where you were layered beyond belief - an undershirt, over shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweater and jacket. So many layers for him to dismantle when he was left to his own devices in a certain mood. Seeing you like this, the caress of your body against the thin-fabric of the worn out shirt was more than a sight to behold for the Ape next to you. There was a symbol faded against the fabric, lost to time Caesar figured.

The meadow you had so graciously decided to stop and have lunch at on your way back to the Colony from a day spent scouring some human desolations was open for what seemed like miles on all sides. It was happily flushed with lush green grass, dandelions that were just now beginning their transformations from yellow to a pillowing white, wild flowers sprung in patches against your forearms as you rested back against them in a bid to get more sun to soak into your pores. Caesar, as diligent as ever, looked down at you with eyes that could rival the shrubbery in color and elegance.

You smiled at him briefly, bringing a hand up to shield your eyes, your arm grazed along his as you put yourself into position to look up at him without blinding, the rest of your weight fell onto your one supporting forearm. “Seems like so long ago,” That was softly said, as soft as the breeze that touched the most delicate flowers and rattled their petals.

Caesar couldn’t look away from you, could not focus on anything but the way you were speaking to him, your eyes unable to be detected from behind the shielded nature of your outstretched arm and he was left with the delectation of your lower face, your jaw which he wanted nothing more than to bite along, your mouth which he wanted nothing more than to urge and please in a bid for you to say his name. “The days when the sun didn't stop.”

He knew what you were alluding to. The Rise itself and the infraction that humans had to associate that with the ever encompassing wilderness that took its hollow place. There was no argument to be made from Caesar though, the sun did seem to shine so endlessly in the memories he had of his human life.

“Do you… think about them often?”

Your eyes shut and you rested your head back onto the ground in contemplation. It was always a loaded question from Caesar. He asked you when he felt you were being reminded of that time and the answer always depended on how you felt in those moments. Sometimes it was a very flat and honest ‘yes’, sometimes it was a more forlorn and yearned ‘no’, and sometimes? There wasn’t any verbal answer and you just hummed a response, not wanting to answer because there was nothing to truly answer.

You would always think about them, sure, but that did not mean you missed the all encompassing position it was to be a human. The cruelty far outreached the good in most cases and it left an incredibly guilt-ridden emotion to linger along the base of your neck, like a pulled muscle you couldn’t tenderize back into compliance.

“Don’t you?” You finally retorted, Caesar drawn back at the action in your voice. You hadn’t ever answered his posed question like that before.

“Used to a lot,” He admitted without hesitance, “Soon after finding the Woods, establishing,” Caesar gestured broadly. He was talking about the Colony itself. “Thought of them a lot.”

You drew into his words with such passion, reaching for anything he was willing to tell you about that time in his life and how it led him to this moment. Taking a deep breath into your lungs, you savored the smell of honeysuckle mixing with Caesar’s waft, so crisp like the river water but musky like the ground of the woods after a clear rain. Consequentially, when you finally looked up at him and caught eyes, yours were widely dilated from the pure draw of his essence. “Did it hurt to leave them?”

Caesar seemed to contemplate that for more than a moment, his head tilting to the side and brows relaxing with the thoughts running through his strategic mind. How you wanted to bury yourself into his brain just to capture a glimpse of his outrageously confident and skilled thought-process. It still rattled you to your core this day when you thought about it for too long.

“Yes.”

A strict admittance, but you expected nothing less from him. “I thought… it would kill me.” Pushing yourself into a seated position instead of resting on your back, your gaze fell on the King and you found yourself tracing the smoothened lines under his eyes and how they always appeared to make his expression sad and tired. Maybe he was, you had no way to know unless he explicitly told you how he was feeling. Rare in and of itself.

“But, then… Cornelia… My… Son…” He nodded to himself and shut his green eyes in a contemplative melancholy, almost hypnotic state like the memories he was remembering where pulling his entire soul back to the moments they happened. “I would not be here had… had I not left… them behind. We… Ape...” There was a sudden flicker of heat in his gaze when he opened his eyelids and looked towards you, captivating your view with pure and undiluted strength and confidence in his answers.

“Would not be here. All… I have ever wanted,” He was marked with emboldened taste as he raised a hand to place it against your cheek. Not the first time you had him touch you, though certainly it was the first time he put intentional thought and provocation behind it. “Here. Now.”

His fingers were incredibly thick, one of them in diameter equaled two of your own. The strength at which he held the side of your face, your head tilting towards the warmth of his open palm as your eyelids drooped to a slow shut, told you wonders of what lay underneath. Caesar was undoubtedly holding back, the knowledge that he could touch you and cause bruises more than catering to his subconscious desire to tear you bit by bit just to get more of you. “Why… think about the past…”

His speech was slower but the words he was picking up from you to complete more coherent statements was remarkable in the time you had known each other. His fingers had drifted inwards ever so slightly, a centimeter apart until he had encapsulated your bottom lip with his thickened thumb. You swallowed with action, bringing your head forward and with a rush, Caesar had his forehead against your own and the back of his hand was embracing the back of your skull to keep you close. “When we have future?”

Caesar being protective / Defending You. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It was difficult to describe. The way that Caesar looked at you, his hands splayed with blood when he went to cup the side of your face to keep it steady, the bloodied hand print adorned the usually smooth and loved nature of your skin. Frantic, the way his eyes split between your fluttering lids, the way that he looked at your lips before bringing his face close to feel the air coming from them. Alive, that action said. Lulling your head to the side, you found it difficult to maintain the stance your neck had to stay upright. You looked at Caesar for a second in a gartered haze, your eyes blurring to focus with intent. Swallowing softly, you narrowed your gaze but could not find it in yourself to centralize on any focal point.

Your head lulled back, your vision blurred.

Snapping yourself out of unconsciousness, you gasped when you felt your body weight leaving the ground but you couldn’t do anything about it, not even struggle to get a grip on whatever, or whomever was picking you up, one arm was resting against your chest, the other sprung out to the air as you were hoisted upwards. The fur that stuck to the fabric of your cargo pants, usually such a treat against your bare skin, was starch with a mixture of blood and rain water.

Your head lulled back, your vision was flushed with red.

You could see Koba, at least you thought in whatever drift of awareness you found yourself in. Smiling, it almost looked like as he signed a rather vague ‘weak human’. A body next to him--- You groaned to yourself at the approximation of his stance, the pure sweep of aggression he had against his fellow brother, gait intimidating and wide, staring Koba down with the intensity of what had to be the sun. Movements, you couldn’t pick them apart. The two Apes became a tanglement of nothing but arms and legs scratching into the air, scratching at each other and your mind was unable to dictate them apart from each other as it became one continuous blur of darkened fur. You could have sworn you yelled his name, telling him to stop but that was tangled in the actions of you being carried away.

Something wet against your temple. You wanted nothing more to get rid of the aggravation that the sensation caused as it dripped from the side of your head into your hair and bunched the strands together but your arms weren’t complying with your brains commands to move. Words were fluttering around you, rumbling in nature like the thunder that would shake the Earth during a storm.

Koba. Pushed. Hit head.

You got that and you were suddenly placed against what felt like stone. Cold and smooth, there weren’t divots poking their way into your body, but the burning from your head made you wonder if you were even comprehensive enough to know that or if you were floating off into oblivion. Intentionally smoothed, you thought to yourself and laughed at that, trying to feebly hold onto brittle consciousness. The comfort of a smooth rock, the rock itself being harder than anything else against the curvature of your spine. With swiftness, you were being analyzed. Your head, primarily. A set of hands, calloused around the edges, were cradling your neck before aiming to place a cloth against the right side of your temple. You groaned at that, squeezing your eyes shut as it came almost flooding back to you in waves.

You had been sitting with Caesar, Blue Eyes, Maurice… Rocket, Ash, you felt silly like you were naming the entire Colony but there was one more scarred face that no matter how many times you were encountered with it, left you chilled to your spine from the lack of empathy every shown towards him and the hatred that seeped through, even through his one milky eye. Koba. The eternity of Caesar’s closest council… You had been there.

Smacking your lips, you tried to open your eyes all the way but the sting of liquid in them caused you to squeeze them shut as the presumed wound on the side of your head was being tendered by the beautiful adorned staff of Female Apes whom had knowledge to treat, primitive as the methods were to you at times. Caesar had… asked you to be there, at the meeting itself, the topic was what to do about the Human Colony in San Francisco. He figured maybe you could give good introspective advice given you were a human.

Something… God, your memory was blurred in a heated frenzied chase to remember the smaller notions of how you ended up with a head injury. Something was said, something Koba didn't agree with - you cracked your fuzzy mind but there was nothing you said that could have been said that would cause Koba to lash out and blatantly attack you. Not in front of Caesar, at least. He was aggressive around you, but he was also incredibly coy.

The room came to a halt, cloth pressed against your temple and swiped away the blood before ceasing as heavy thudded footsteps radiated through the small hut you were warmly encased in. Or the warmth was coming from your body's natural response to being hurt, you had no idea but it felt good enough as you urged your eyelids open for a split second. Caesar.

There was a rush of signing between the King and the other Apes in the room, and with one last glance at you, they dissipated, almost into the air behind Caesar as he sauntered forward, the prickle of his fur on edge still, blood on his hand but now? There was blood casing around his nose, downwards and against his thinned lips, into his mouth and splattered along his teeth.

Guilt surged in you, “Kob- You- Attacked---” Whatever you were trying to say was hushed as Caesar grasped the side of your head, gently this time and tilted so he could get a better view. “‘M okay. Just…” You made a clicking sound with your tongue, “Bonk.”

“Injury like this…” Caesar chuffed, trying so desperately to stop his heart from flying right out of his chest and going back to finish the job with one of his most trusted advisors, “Can… be bad for humans.”

You shut your eyes when he put your head back upright. The primal perception was washing off of Caesar like it was a deep revelation. It was almost smothering, the way that he grasped for the cloth and began cleaning your wound himself, eager to see just how much damage there was in some attempt to bid his time rather than lashing back at Koba for what had been done. “Ape,” His voice was nothing more than a low surge against you, “Do not kill Ape, but…”

There were no buts, you wanted to say as you squeezed your eyes shut when he placed the cloth against a rather tender spot. He pulled back adamantly, and moved forward to work another spot in your hairline and further into your hair. He knew, oh how he knew that you were going to complain about the dried blood in your hair, subconsciously Caesar found himself drawn to cope with that before you really became aware of it.

“Koba… wanted to prove… Human weaker than Ape… Should attack them. Pushed you to show,” Caesar gritted his teeth together and you swore you could hear the friction from inside of his mouth. It was evident in the stiffening of his body language that he was beating himself up for not being able to react fast enough to the situation, “Hit head on rock. Blood,” His voice hushed into a minor but hard whisper, “everywhere. Had you carried off… Before… ”

He didn't bother continuing on that train. It was dead and gone as far as Caesar was concerned, not wanting now to recollect how perfect it felt to have his hands against Koba’s threat when in the surge of a protective instinct that washed over him at the mere sight of you on the ground, unconscious. Caesar cradled your head with surprising gentleness and you found yourself relaxing right into it. The action itself spoke wonders of his true, deeply ingrained feelings. Mate, the hold said, my mate.

“We are weaker.” You laughed out, finally snapping yourself into a more lucid state. You suspected a concussion, but there was no clear way to know as you finally got your eyes to stay open and focused on the green and gold nature of Caesar’s irises. So close to your own, you could swoop up and kiss him if that was your desire. He only chortled in response to your words, knowing that joking was often used as a way to cope with messier situations.

“No,” Caesar reassured and brushed a hand through the other side of your head. Never with his fingers really ingrained in, but more like a mild petting of comfort, usually reserved for moments after climax when you had tangled against him in pleasure. “Koba… weak. You…” The Ape King took a deep breath in and let himself sink his head down to kiss his forehead lightly against yours, upside down. The captivation he had on you down to the minute detailing of his fur tickling under your nose always left you dizzying for more, and you were grateful that Caesar did not pull away this time and lingered, “You are my strength.”

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With Friends Like These...

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Lies, Machinations.

Word Count: 1.5k

Previously On...: Bucky found the envelope you were sent. And he did not take it well. He went running to Lily.

A/N: I have a job interview this afternoon! Wish me luck (although, by the time this posts, it will be over with already, but, you know, good vibes!)!!

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily couldn’t believe her luck. When she had arranged to have that envelope sent to The WarZone, she expected Major to freak out, to be frightened and disturbed, maybe even disgusted, by everything Bucky had done in his past and decide to stop seeing him.

But for Bucky to think that Major was running background on him without his knowledge, and for him to run out on her? Lily couldn’t have planned it better. And he’d come to Lily for comfort. Everything was going perfectly. She was even willing to eat this disgusting pineapple on her pizza, she was in such a good mood.

Currently, Bucky was sitting on the floor, back leaning against her couch while she massaged his scalp, the television playing some mind numbing comedy in the background.

“I don’t get it, Lil,” he said with a groan. “If she had questions, she could have just asked me. I would have told her anything she wanted to know.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, wishing he would move on to a different topic, any topic, other than that harlot. “I did tell you she was a bitch, Jamie.”

Bucky leaned his head back. “But why would she do it?” he asked her with a sigh. “She made such a big deal about saying I didn’t have to tell her anything until I was ready. So, why would she go digging?”

Lily scratched at his scalp, trying not to let her annoyance come through her ministrations. “She obviously lied to you, Jamie. Apparently, your past mattered more to her than she claimed. I hate to say this,” she said, struck with a jolt of inspiration, “but maybe she’s attracted to that kind of thing. Some people are sick, Jamie and, well, it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.”

She eyed him, hoping the memory would hit the way she had intended it to. She had been particularly proud of orchestrating that breakup. Bucky had been devastated, of course– but when he had confided to Lily that he had been planning on asking Jessica, his girlfriend at the time, to move into his room at the Compound with him, she had to take action. What else was Lily supposed to do, honestly?

So, she'd fabricated search histories on Bucky's laptop for all kinds messed up Winter Soldier porn while Bucky was away on a mission; the nastier, the better; and then conveniently "discovered" the history after asking Bucky to borrow his computer. Since Jessica had, "technically," been the only other person, aside from Bucky, with access to the device, convincing him that she had been the one to search for it all hadn't been difficult. Despite Jessica's pleas that she'd done no such thing, it was hard refuting the evidence Lily had manufactured, especially since Bucky was so technologically illiterate and never thought to check for dates and times of the searches, and Jessica had been out of their lives by dinnertime. Lily would be eternally grateful to Rule 34.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on?” Bucky asked her remorsefully. “Girls are either going to be terrified of the Winter Soldier, or weirdly turned on by him? There’s no in between where they just see 'Bucky'?”

Lily rolled her eyes. Was he always this fucking dramatic? “Jamie, you’ve barely been dating her. Be thankful you found out about her now, before you got in too deep.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “It could have been a lot worse. At least now, you know the truth about her, and you can move on.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised,” Bucky lamented. “I’m a fucking monster. How can I expect any good woman to fall in love with me, after all the shit I’ve done?”

“Maybe,” she began, playing with the chain of his dog tags and hoping to get him off his pity train, “the problem is that you’re too caught up with girls who don’t really know you. Maybe you’d be better off with someone you already have a solid foundation with, you know?” Lily gently tugged his tags out from underneath his collar and began running her fingers across the metal, as she’d done hundreds of times before. It always made her feel connected to him, grounded.

Except, this time, they felt… wrong, somehow. The metal engraving where his name should be felt foreign, not the embossing she was so intimately familiar with. She felt her stomach plummet.

“What’s with your tags?” she asked, not even giving him an opportunity to respond to her previous statement. “They don’t feel right.”

Bucky pulled away from her, reaching up to gently take the tags from between her fingers into his own.

“These are Major’s,” he said softly as he ran his thumb across the engraving, looking at the tags almost longingly.

“Why–” Lily fought for composure, “why do you have her tags?” she asked him. “Where are yours?”

“We traded,” Bucky confessed to her. “Fuck, now I’m going to have to figure out how to get mine back.”

“You gave her your tags.” Lily did her best to cover her disgust and disbelief by making it a statement, not a question. In all their years of friendship, she’d never, not once, known him to ever take those tags off, let alone allow someone else to wear them– and lord knows she’d tried to get him to let her. Bucky nodded.

“You just let some random slut wear your tags, Jamie?” There was no hiding the distress in her voice now as she stood up from the couch, the action so abrupt that it knocked Bucky forward on the floor.

“You barely know her! That’s so… so… ugh, that’s so gross!”

“Why are you so upset about it?” he asked her, standing up and looking at her with a curious expression. “They’re my tags, but you’re freaking out about them worse than I am.”

Shit. Cover, cover, cover.

“Well,” Lily hemmed, “because, obviously, she’s awful. I mean, she did all that shady recon on you. I gotta say, I think you should probably be thankful for whoever sent her that envelope. They did you a favor in showing you her true self, right?”

Bucky froze, his expression staring off into the middle distance as if he’d just realized something of vital importance. “Shit,” he whispered.

“What?”

He made a beeline for the kitchen, picking up his discarded leather jacket and shrugging it back on. “I fucked up, Lil. I fucked up, big time.”

“Where are you going?” she asked as he made his way back toward the front door, and she could hear the desperation in her own voice. “Jamie, we’re having such a good night.”

Bucky paused to turn to her, his hand on the doorknob. “She was upset when she got that envelope, Lil. I was so taken by surprise when I saw the contents of it, I completely forgot about her reaction when she first recieved it. She didn’t even know where it had come from. There’s no way she was doing background research on me.”

Lily could feel all her opportunities slipping between her fingers like fallen sand. “Maybe she was lying to you. Covering her tracks so you wouldn't suspect,” she said, knowing the excuse was flimsy, but not being able to come up with anything else in the moment.

"But she didn't know I would even still be there," Bucky protested as he opened the door. "I got held up having a conversation with Nat. Major was surprised to see me still in the building. There's no way she made that bit up for my benefit."

“I don’t see how that changes her motives in the least. Maybe she saw you still there and came up with the lie on the spot.”

“Because that’s not who she is!” Bucky practically shouted, taking Lily aback with his tone. “You said she did me the favor of showing me her true self, and that’s just the thing– I don’t believe that’s who Major truly is. If, and that’s a big ‘if,’ she did look up information about my past, she probably had a damned good reason, and I–fuck– I never even gave her the chance to explain! I just stormed out of there like a fucking toddler! I have to go make this right while I still have a chance. I’ll let you know how it goes!”

And with that, he was out the door, running, once again, back to her, and leaving Lily all alone, and heartbroken. How could things have gone from so spectacularly wonderful to so awful, in such a short span of time?

More importantly, if, for some reason, Major did decide to forgive Bucky, what was Lily’s next step going to be to break them up for good?

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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yenonnoff · 2 days

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TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE! 31. i hate unrequited love tropes

masterlist ⌒☆ previous ⌒☆ next

fun facts:

bokuaka is in this chapter bc i love bokuaka

usually whenever kuroo drinks it’s not too bad. he fell ONCE and got back up like nothing even happened. still, everyone was shocked and worried about him so kuroo likes to feign and exaggerate sometimes to get attention (especially kenma’s). kuroo’s a grandpa using kenma as his little cane.

kuroo read the entire harry potter series when he was little. he’d obsess over the spells and memorize them; he’d also drag kenma into his shenanigans and they would play pretend with the spells sometimes.

kenma secretly enjoyed it.

(lol guys i did in fact not read harry potter growing up i only played the silly little games im a poser but a lover at heart!!!)

kuroo has a very thorough skin care routine! however, he has mixed feelings when it comes to working with skin care brands. sure he gets to keep the products afterwards but he’s always crossing his fingers that they don’t make his skin breakout.

he definitely waits an hour for his products to dry before going to bed.

TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE! ｡ｏ♡ an atsumu miya smau

synopsis: when y/n l/n, a rising actress, decides to star in a romance film that could make or break her career, she’s unable to showcase her skills, revealing her inexperience within the romance department instead. worst of all, atsumu miya, her co-star and the main lead’s love interest, seems to hate her guts! with absolutely, unbearably zero chemistry between the two, an idea was proposed: spend time with one another in the upcoming weeks. will y/n be able to ignore her professionalism and listen to her heart? and will she, a clueless romantic, be able to pick up on the signs her co-star is sending her?

a/n: this is coming from someone whos never been in a relationship before booooo!!! 👎 the slow burn is burning me alive in a giant wok and im slowly losing my mind (i hate unrequited love AND slow burn maybe this is my way of coping) 🤕🤕

taglist is open! dm or ask to be a part of it! (those bolded were unable to be tagged)

⌒☆ @kqbukimono @empathum @clyver @chosoluv @oceansfloor @sunarots @marga-j @rukia-uchiha-98 @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @rintarousgirl @ast4rg1rl @seiamor @saiewithakatana @usermins @literally-a-ferret @terrarain @iuspired @haruskatana @wolffmaiden @ris-krispie @vellichxrr6782 @animenaces-world @reignsaway @emii4evr @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @yuminako @tojirin @v3nusplanetofluv @vyvixen @secondary-character-25 @tenjikusstuff4 @444choso @mylahrins @deimmortales99 @hisfuture @staywhelmed8801 @dl-yum @nessaasstuff @milesmoralesluvs @101tsumu @ryeyeyer @cherrypieyourface @azharyy @mimi3lover @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @dazball @whykirbo @r0seandth0rns @localgaytrainwreck @miyamoratsumuu @zephestia @luvvmae @seeyapizzazz

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jotarohat · 3 days

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Painting his nails was something Suguru went for especially if it was done by you. Although you guys weren’t a couple, it felt extremely intimate to paint his nails.

Blushing when he feels your hand holding his as you try to paint his nails neatly.

“Looks really good”, he murmured.

“Thanks,” you murmured back, tongue sticking out in focus.

You guys were sitting on the floor of his room, with Suguru leaning against the side of his bed. He always preferred black polish, not really having a reason why, just something he always felt a pull towards.

He used this opportunity to admire you while you were distracted painting his nails. He founded your furrowed face with tongue poking out slightly, cute.

You angled his hand where he can see it better.

“You like it?” you questioned.

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered out after being caught off guard out of his daydream.

Twisting the nail polish cap back into the bottle, you fanned his hands.

“Looks good,” you whistled and grinning to yourself.

“Thank you, how can I repay you back? ” he asked before giving you one of those smiles that had girls swooning before him.

“Ah, it’s really not a big deal.”

“I insist, after all I wanna get you something”

“You really don’t have to.”

You both bickered back and forth, while you were still fanning his hands, which was something suguru appreciated. Eventually you let him win, sighing to yourself, cracking a smile that he loved.

Standing up, you both stretched out both of y’all’s legs. He felt himself blushing assuming something else when he felt you grab his hands, before realizing that you were doing that to check to see if his nails were dry. Frowning to himself when he realizes it wasn’t the case.

“Let me buy you froyo,” he said before smiling at you, knowing froyos were your favorite.

You smiled at him, letting go of his hands. His smile faltered slightly. You glanced at his painted toenails, mentally patting yourself on the back for your work.

You both left the campus, walking to the nearest Froyo shop. You complimented his outfit, which had him stuttering slightly and blushing, blaming on the hot weather.

He was glad shoko and satoru didn’t come along or else they would’ve teased him endlessly for acting like a middle school girl with a crush, which wasn’t that far off.

You guys chose to sit on the bench in the park after getting the froyos to your liking.

“Say.. I would like to do your nails next time..” he said before coughing slightly and shyly looking away.

Admiring his side profile, seeing that his ears are slightly red, you giggled to yourself.

“Sure, why you don’t you paint my nails black? To match,” you wiggled your fingers.

“Alright then…” he muttered out, still not looking at you, feeling himself get redder at your words. Damn it.

You both continued eating froyos in comfortable silence. Glancing at him from your peripheral vision, you noticed a piece of sprinkle at the corner of his mouth.

“Sugu..” you called out.

He slowly turned his head to look at you, feeling his chest swell with warmth, hearing his nickname coming out of your mouth. You both held eye contact for a while. Anyone walking by could feel the romantic tension lingering.

You leaned in, holding a napkin tightly. He felt his breath hitch, assuming that you were going to kiss him. You swiped the napkin across the corner of his mouth. Smiling at his frowning face.

“Something wrong?” you teased.

“No, nothings wrong.” he said with sulking shoulders.

Glancing at his froyo, you nudged him for a taste of his froyo. He nodded, holding up a spoon of the mint froyo, which you questioned him earlier, he replied with a shrug.

You cheerily accepted it. He pulled the spoon out of your mouth. He ate the rest of his froyo before realizing that you both shared an indirect kiss. He blushed at the thought.

“Hey, we should get going before it’s dark. We wouldn’t want Mr. Yaga get on our asses right?” He chuckled at your words before getting up.

He seemed awfully quiet, you noticed. He was planning on how to kiss you before you go back to your dorm. He used a breath fresher spray while you weren’t looking.

While approaching your dorm door, you stopped and turned to the sight of suguru rubbing the back of his neck and hesitating to ask you something. You knew what his question was, you weren’t that oblivious.

“Is there something you want to ask me? Sugu?”

“O-oh yeah,”

You hummed, suggesting him to continue.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” you smiled.

Staring at each others lip for a moment before moving closer. The kiss wasn’t something out of the movies for sure. But you were glad it was with suguru. You broke the awkward kiss, staring back at suguru.

He could stare at your eyes for hours. He believed in the fact that your eyes are the gate to your soul.

You placed your hand on the doorknob, and looking back at him.

“I enjoyed our date,” you said with a smile on your face.

“I did too,” he smiled back.

“See you tomorrow,” you said before twisting the doorknob.

Later that night, suguru laid on his bed looking up at the ceiling with his mind filled with the thoughts of you. He lifted his hand and saw the black polish, the one that you painted. He smiled to himself, touching his lip, the lip gloss you used lingered.

He could get used to this.

#suguru reader #geto x reader #geto fluff #jjk fluff #jjk #geto reader #suguru x female reader

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thoughtsthatgounnoticed · 22 hours

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Swept up in Expectations

As an anxious and curious person, I couldn’t help but check every now and then to see what the vibe was for P2 before watching it myself. After all the excitement during the wait between P1 and 2, nothing could have prepared me for the whiplash I felt reading disappointed and equally ecstatic posts from reactions to Eps 5 to 8.

Now that I’ve seen the episodes myself I’m trying to make sense of how I felt so I’m putting the figurative pen to paper and hope anyone as confused as I am can ruminate with me.

To put simply - I think we were all swept up in the excitement of Nic and Luke’s press tour (a whole other can of worms for some) and the many spoilers, speculations, and info from cast interviews during the wait between P1 and 2 that appeared to have been Polin positive. This energy then ballooned our expectations. I personally forgot that although Bridgerton is endearing and fun, it’s ultimately not a BBC or HBO production (I love Bridgerton but it’s no Pulitzer Prize winner in writing). So I think we expected more and are crashing from our collective highs.

Then there’s Polin and Penelope. As someone who didn’t personally enjoy S1 and 2 stories, S3 was going to be one I could truly enjoy and romanticize, and experience that Bridgerton brainrot everyone keeps taking about. Admittedly, it took me listening to some discourse and a second watch to truly appreciate P1. I’ve come away with so much love for Polin and their unfolding love story as well as Pen’s journey. The friends to lovers trope is beautiful, sweet, endearing, romantic, with a lot of history between two people. It had me singing along at the top of my lungs to Taylor Swift in the car even though it’s not my usual type of music. I was swooned and romanced.

But Part 2 was…. rough…. (Ramblings below)

At least after episode 5. It felt like I wasn’t watching the same season. I knew the weight of LW was going to put Penelope through the wringer before we can ultimately move on in peace. I expected the angst, it didn’t bother me, even if it meant seeing the worst of Colin’s anger temporarily.

I think what bothers me is the wasted potential of Polin’s season brought on by unnecessary side plots that could have given more time to Colin, Penelope and Eloise’s complex relationship and individual feelings. It was a season that absolutely needed to flesh out these characters alongside LW’s plot. Instead we got lengthy scenes of side characters with no payoff or stories that could have waited to be told next season. Polin felt like side characters in their own stories, their scenes so cruelly cut between other people’s dramas - I was swooning one second to wondering why we’ve jumped to sideplot A and B, then back to swooning over Polin again (their wedding dance for example 😭).

Then there’s the question of intimacy and how we would have loved to see more - probably brought on by a rumored missing montage. Instead after all the pain, the culmination of intimacy between Polin was the 5 second scene towards the end that looked like one of Anthony or Ben’s random brothel end-of-episode montage scenes in S1. I didn’t need plenty of intimacy scenes, I just wanted there to be growth in their intimacy evolving beyond what they had in Ep 5 and after all that drama.

Part 2 should have focused on how Colin, Penelope and Eloise came to terms with the LW revelation and the aching healing process it took to overcome that because the love they have for one another was stronger. I found myself thinking how in hell they could resolve all of this and it became progressively clear that the resolution was going to feel underwhelming and rushed. Especially, when the last episode alone had another wedding, Colin and Penelope still not communicating, and like 4-5 scenes of Ben and his mistress and their lover. We sat there in complete shock at how we kept going back to those scenes when the season had bigger fish to fry.

Although the show attempted to delve into Colin’s journey post revelation, the process of overcoming his sadness/jealousy was not fleshed out satisfactorily. I’m not saying it isn’t there (the very quick scenes of him looking through Penelope’s letters, listening to her speech at the end, his speech to Cressida, interactions with Kanthony/Eloise etc) but it lacked…something. Maybe it needed just a beat longer, a few more words, a bit more time. I don’t need it to drag, I just needed more within the depth of the scenes. Funnily, some of the side plot scenes lasted longer, which was so evil. Colin deserved a concise arc like Penelope’s. I hope Luke Newton’s back wasn’t hurting from carrying all the weight of Colin’s journey through his delivery and face acting because the writers were not giving him much to work with.

And so, the ending of the season felt odd. On one hand I was happy Polin got their happy ending and in theory their progression made sense, but on the other I felt like the show did a disservice by not taking us carefully and deliberately on that progression journey we wonderfully started in S1 and 2. I will always have ep 1-5 to look back on fondly and I was teary eyed when Colin delivered his ep 8 love speech to Pen. It felt like a glimpse of what we could’ve had and what they did have in P1. However, there’s this feeling of anti-climax that is so palpable given how impactful the press tour was. Am I still walking away from this season loving Polin and enjoying the scenes we did get of them? YES. Am I satisfied with it? NO.

This is 70% an emotional rant that may subside once the excitement dies down. I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s input and analysis and may have just been swept up in expectations.

#personal reflection #polin #colin x penelope #bridgerton spoilers

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pensbridge · 2 days

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No spoilers, seriously, but

if I see one more person still throw a fit about "rake" Colin & cry about Polin's first time possibly being ruined (rly I haven't seen a ton, because I'm not following all of the discourse but I KNOW it's there & coming)...

because Colin and Pen are of different experience levels. Please, tell me you're joking. I'll be honest, when it's come to the debate of virginColin vs expColin, my stance on it has always been......I don't care. I really kind of hoped they left it open ended, because people felt so strongly about it, but before I watched the season I had a feeling he's had sex from something in the interviews, and I was expecting it and I thought, I think I know how this is gonna play out when Pen and Colin do sleep together. Because Colin is not a rake. A rabbit can purr, but that doesn't make it a cat. like I'm pretty sure Colin didn't sleep with anyone until this last travel tour, and that made my mind wander before part 1 dropped: Colin is fresh on the scene. Most likely, it wasn't that long ago that Colin, so to speak, felt like Pen (like it's different because of the different gender expectations and because of the times, but the possible insecurity, the importance of the romantic aspect and intimacy (both of those lead into past and present feelings) - he understands and it will only make him more careful/thoughtful with her. And I bet for him, it's almost like bummer, if we found our way to each other before my last voyage, all of that wouldn't have happened (maybe not, lol, I'm sure he's insecure af nervous about their first time). But Anthony or Simon couldn't have this perspective. And one thing about Colin is that he's sensitive. Like if you thought he was brooding in part 1, prepare now for the hidden contemplation of this fixation. He sneakily went out and bought a home and the proposal is probably barely 2 days old. He's already treating her like a princess as he can't stop twirling her every second they get. I'm positive he's THOUGHT of the details of this moment - planning it out in his head for how to make her feel special. He's very aware that she's a virgin. If anything the fact that he is more experienced is going to make Colin take more care with her than if he was unsure and extra concerned about not having a clue (because a molded to society toxic masculine man is still a toxic masculine man, especially because he's insecure). And the details for their individual backstories makes it more intricately deep than if they left it open-ended and didn't tell us anything at all.

#be nice & don't spoil #bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #*mine

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trueebeauty · 19 hours

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Hi I just wanted to say I love your writing so much your really such a talented and amazing writer and I was just hoping if requests are open if I could please have dating/romantic headcanons for my man the one and only the love of my life Kwak Jichang please 🥺❤️ no pressure though and hope your taking care of yourself

SFW - soft, casual

As an ISTJ, Jichang values tradition and commitment in relationships. He's a respectful, old-fashioned romantic who prefers classic courtship - opening doors, bringing flowers, that kind of thing.

However, he also has a practical, sensible side. Jichang plans dates thoroughly for efficiency, ensuring all the arrangements are handled so you can simply enjoy yourselves.

He expresses love through quality time and acts of service. Jichang cherishes one-on-one moments together, even if it's just running errands or working side-by-side.

Public displays of affection make him uncomfortable, but in private he's softly affectionate through subtle gestures like hand-holding, hugs from behind, or forehead kisses.

Jichang communicates his feelings best through actions over words. But you know his loyalty and dedication to you is unwavering.

While private, he has a goofy, playful side that only you get to see. Jichang loves to tease and try to get that adorable smile out of you.

NSFW - mdni

Forget about playing coy – Ji Chang thrives on dominance. He’s the boss in and out of the bedroom. Call him “Daddy” and watch him light up with a mixture of pride and lust.

Ji Chang’s physicality isn’t just about his muscles. Let’s just say he’s packing heat. Handling all of him is a task, but one he expects you to take on without complaints.

Ji Chang loves to tease, both mentally and physically. He'll whisper dirty words into your ear, trailing his fingers just out of reach, building anticipation until you're begging for more.

Ji Chang is all about nipple play. Whether it's teasing, biting, or using his fingers to flick and pinch, he loves the way his partner reacts to the intense sensations.

He loves using his mouth – not just for biting but for giving intense, toe-curling pleasure. He's relentless, focused, and takes pride in driving his partner wild with his skilled tongue.

Ji Chang knows how to read his partner’s boundaries and respects them. He may push you to your limits, but he always makes sure you’re on board and enjoying every second.

Those strong hands aren't just for fighting. Ji Chang loves the way his bruised knuckles feel against your skin, especially when he's gripping your thighs tightly.

Ji Chang doesn’t have much patience for undressing. He prefers to tear off clothes in the heat of the moment, adding an extra layer of urgency and rawness to the encounter.

#lookism #lookism headcanons #lookism x male reader #lookism x reader #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #kwak jichang #kwak jichang x reader

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cripplecharacters · 2 days

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in a show i like theres a character who's blinded in an accident. he does go through some emotional stuff at the start, but then he moves on and starts living with his disability (he has powers that allow him to sense beings, and is not the only person who has these powers, and does have many limitations like asking people to describe their surroundings and touching walls while he walks to be grounded).

but at the very end, he regains his vision for a few seconds right as he is about to die in order to see his lover again. how do the mods feel about this miraculous regaining of vision (this and any others that often appear in movies)?

(personally, in context, i found it romantic.. but reductive to both his disability and his character, as overcoming the weight of the tragedy and living with his disability was a major part of his character arc. i also sent this ask because of the last ask you answered. cheers!)

Hello,

So, as none of us mods are blind but I know actual blind people have thoughts about this, I'm going to direct you to @blindbeta with this. They can give you a more accurate answer directly from a blind person.

Mod Aaron

Hi,

as Aaron said, we don't currently have blind mods. With that said, a character being blinded in an accident is a trope in and of itself (not that it doesn't happen, but it's overrepresented in fiction when compared to other causes), so please take the linked post into consideration.

Second thing, do you have other disabled characters, or does the only one that you have end up dying? This isn't blindness-specific, more of a general problem. Don't kill off all your disabled characters please, and don't tokenize them.

For the "magical temporary healing" part, you should either reach out to the account Aaron has mentioned, or check out this old post we made.

mod Sasza

Hello!

We have blind mods now, yay!

Personally, I find the idea of them regaining their sight for a few seconds before their death to be a bit... iffy at best.

First of all: Why is having them see their partner so important? Why not any of the other ways that they experience each other? Why not a hug or a kiss or some sort of inside joke or pet name? Any of those could make the moment just as sweet and romantic without alienating their blind and otherwise disabled readers by showing the character's disability as something that has to be removed for them to experience this romantic moment.

Another thing that you didn't explicitly ask about but should still be considered is that sighted people writing stories about blind characters coping with their loss of vision will always be an iffy thing. The account that was linked earlier has an excellent post that goes into this but essentially, consider: Who are you telling this story for? Does it benefit your blind readers in any way or is it exclusively for the enjoyment of your sighted readers? Is there a better way for this story to be told?

In general, I dislike the magical temporary cure and would advise avoiding it, especially since you've mentioned that it would be reductive to both the character and their disability.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

#mod aaron #mod sasza #blindness #anonymous #disability negating superpowers #cure trope #mod icarus

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moon932 · 1 day

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i think one of the more tragic parts of neuvillette’s character is the inherent inability for him to get closer to humanity by the way of his position. and i don’t mean just a dragon sovereign, we know that he is capable of empathizing and connecting with others- this is especially apparent with the melusines. ie, before he took up the mantle of the highly respected and revered iudex.

what i mean is that when focalors invited him to be chief justice, she ascribed him to a similar dilemma as furina. he’s the chief justice, and like anyone in a position of power, there is a certain distance and higher form of respect that will always be there. even when he’s not performing as the chief justice- he’s still expected to act like it and if he were to act out of character than he risks losing the respect his standing needs. and he’s very familiar with those consequences. which is more tragic when you realize that he wants to connect with his people. he wants to join in on banter and understand them in a way he wasn’t able to in the past.

i think this is especially apparent with both vautrin and later with the current fontaine gang. we’re told that neuvillette and vautrin were close when they worked together. this stands out to me more, because being told and shown neuvillette being close with people is a very big thing for his character because it’s so rare for him to form those connections. and while on the topic of vautrin, i think what happened with him and carole also made neuvillette’s resolve to stay impartial even stronger. because here is someone he trusted, and he had to exile him. i can’t even imagine how hard that was. add on to the fact that neuvillette thought vautrin hated him, and was okay with that thought? well maybe not okay with it, but was able to contend with it?

that brings me on to the next point, how many convicts hold grudges against neuvillette? how many families were torn apart because he needed to give out an impartial and apathetic verdict?

this is slightly a critique on hoyo, because they never want there to be what i call a ‘bad ending.’ any conflict we do have feels very surface level at best, and we never see anything deeper than baseline. and if there is a conflict, it’s always resolved with a neat little bow at the end. at least in the archon quests and world quests. don’t get me started on world quests.

but yeah, neuvillette is a character that is lonely by design y’know? even in his character stories, they always have an air of loneliness to them. here is this being who understand things about the world not even the gods do. and he can’t talk about it because what if the powers that be see it be to strike him down? this is purely based off of a dialouge line you get in your teapot, which is a landmine of character lore btw.

if i’m deranged enough i’ll ramble about wriolette at some point and touch on both the platonic and romantic connotations that relationship has, if you guys want. anyways, hope you enjoyed my deranged ramblings about neuvillette because i can guarantee it will happen again (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)

#genshin impact #neuvillette #character discussion #neuvillette makes my brain go brr its not okay how much this man gives me brainrot

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historical-romances9 · 16 hours

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Apparently people in the fandom are upset and pressed because some fans didn’t like Season 3 and what the showrunners did to Polin.

Look, first of all, it’s not my job to cater to other people’s feelings on the internet, especially about fiction. Seriously, we are discussing a TV show here, not real life issues. I know the fandom has people of all ages, even some teenagers (who aren’t old enough to watch this, but I get it, I was the same), and that explains a lot.

Second, I’m 30 years old, I’m married, I have kids and I have a job. And historic romantic dramas have always been my personal favorite form of escapism and just to relax. While I watch many movies and TV shows with my husband, and he likes History as well, romance is not a favorite genre of his, but it’s mine. It’s my personal thing. So, yes, I want a good and entertaining story to decompress from everyday life.

I was very excited about Season 3 and Polin, and enjoyed Part 1. I rarely post anything here other than gifs from historic romances I enjoyed, but I was so disappointed with Part 2, I had to share my thoughts because it’s my blog and I can write about whatever I want.

You have the right to enjoy whatever you want, too. If you think Season 3 was a masterpiece and everything you ever wanted, good for you. Cool.

But others have the right to disagree as well. I have the right to say “it was bad”, they should have done better and deviate from the source material (book) was a terrible idea and it hurt the story being told.

And if I’m being honest, I think many fans were more concerned about Polin being “endgame” than the story itself, and that’s why they are praising Season 3. Of course they were endgame: there’s a book about it, and the show is based on those books. So, yeah, don’t label other people’s opinions as “bad takes”.

People aren’t mindless consumers (or they shouldn’t be), and so I stand by my views. Many choices from the showrunners harmed the love story, deeply. Dragging the angst, Polin wedding while they were in bad terms, the Queen crashing the wedding, no wedding night nor honeymoon. I don’t even care if I’m offending anyone by saying how can anyone actually defend these choices by the showrunners. It felt like Episodes 5&6 and Episodes 7&8 were written by different people!

I’m aware that many fans are very protective of Polin because there are many haters in the fandom. But thanks to what the showrunners did in Season 3, those haters won’t go away. If anything, the showrunners gave them more reasons to hate on Polin. And that upsets me as well because I love them and was very invested in their story.

Oh, well, I’ll just keep on pretending the major parts of Episodes 7 and 8 never happened. Polin had a beautiful wedding and wedding night, and then a beautiful baby because of their passionate honeymoon.

#bridgerton s3 #polin #polin bridgerton #bridgerton

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ionlyseedaylight · 1 day

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We got more angst than romantic scenes. Yes, the secret was a big deal, but the angst went on and on for 2 whole episodes, including the wedding (I did not liked that at all, especially because they made it seem as of Colin was only proceeding with the wedding out of duty). And then the queen was okay with it and Polin was okay and then boom… baby. Polin deserved better than this, to be honest.

Yeah the wedding made me really sad. They definitely deserved better. I wanted more scenes of them resolving everything. I feel like the season should have had more episodes than 8 instead of just cramming it all in. All we can do is look forward to season 4 with some more scenes from Polin. I’m hoping we’ll get some romantic ones. And I’m not just talking about sex scenes. Those aren’t the most important ones, but just cute ones, showing how deep their love is for eachother.

#asks #polin #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers

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yanderes-galore · 2 days

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can you do a yandere giorno giovanna concept if you don't mind?

I love Giorno so yes. This takes place maybe a few years after Part 5 where he's been the boss for a while.

Yandere! Giorno Giovanna Concept

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Stalking, Violence, Blood, Murder, Possessive behavior, Implied kidnapping, Condescending behavior, Delusional behavior, Isolation, Emotional manipulation, Implied attempted mind break, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Giorno could've met you as an adult or maybe even knew you during the events of Part 5.

However, his obsession wouldn't start until after Part 5's events either way.

Giorno, by this point, has already grown into his role of being The Boss of Passione.

With Diavolo gone he's managed to make the streets a little cleaner of drugs.

Giorno's character is described as "your friendly neighborhood gangster".

He wants to help people, even if his role is intimidating.

He and Diavolo are complete opposites in everything, including how they act as Boss.

Giorno is often serious and calm.

Since a young age he's been taught to read people and often puts on masks around people.

He's charismatic and often gets along with people, even as The Boss.

My favorite idea for a yandere Giorno plot is the idea of befriending the mafia boss in some way, only for him to fall for you.

Giorno is a good ally to have, especially when he has power.

Unlike Diavolo he actually cares about you, often checking in once he's befriended you.

I like to think he was inspired by Bruno Bucciarati befriending those around him.

So, once he took over, he wanted others to know he's here to aid them.

Including you.

Maybe you need help from him for something.

A debt, you're a target for something, any sort of problem that would get you involved with the mafia.

Giorno, having a kind heart, offers you such aid.

Maybe he even sends Mista as a bodyguard just in case there is any danger after you.

Giorno is a yandere who's calm and tranquil, not much sets him off.

Even if something did he doesn't show it.

He's really good at hiding how he feels... yet reading how others feel.

You can't hide anything from Giorno.

He seems like he'd often invite you to private chats, considering you a friend.

Plus, he likes to keep an eye on you.

If something was bothering you, like a new controlling partner or some other issue, Giorno can tell.

You can't lie in front of him.

Giorno is adamant on letting you know he cares.

He doesn't want any harm coming to you.

As a Don, he can make that happen.

At first, having Giorno as a friend isn't too bad.

His words often bring you comfort and your presence brings him comfort.

Being involved in the mafia can be a dangerous game, yet Giorno tells you not to worry too much about it.

I feel Giorno could be really subtle about his obsession.

Even if he begins to feel romantic feelings, he waits until you're ready... usually.

Although, he'd influence your mind with his words and gifts.

Giorno has traits from Jonathan and DIO, one of my favorite aspects of his character.

Giorno often echoes aspects from Jonathan when it comes to you.

He lives for your happiness and would do anything to protect you.

He echoes DIO when he feels he has to get rid of those around you.

If Giorno found out someone hurt you, he's cruel.

They'd be gone immediately, be that by Mista or Giorno himself.

He'll make it graphic but hide the whole scene from you.

Then he carefully cleans the blood off himself before returning to you with a smile.

Giorno doesn't want to be a monster in your eyes... despite his heritage.

He's always comforting and welcoming.

He lets you into his home and base of operations willingly... just to see your face.

He just likes knowing you're okay.

Once he has you trust enough, Giorno would start trying to nudge you in the direction of letting him treat you.

He keeps a close eye on you so much he's found himself falling for you.

He's gone many nights thinking about you, worrying about if you're okay or not.

Being friends with him is both beneficial yet dangerous.

He can protect you... but what about when he's not there?

I can see Giorno sending other members to watch over you if he can't do it himself.

You've caught his eye and the last thing he needs is you getting hurt.

Giorno is definitely one to spoil his beloved.

He has the money and he wants to spend it on buying you things.

It doesn't matter if you aren't dating yet, he's adamant on giving you the prettiest items.

Giorno probably gets jealous but has learned to hide it.

Oh... you found someone to date...

They get caught up in a shootout, one of Giorno's ways to get rid of them while also driving you into his arms.

He seems so nice and kind.

But he's also manipulative.

He knows how to get what he wants, hiding it just enough to make you not suspect anything.

Why wouldn't you want to date him?

He is patient, waiting for you as long as he has to.

Although, the moment he wins you over, he smothers you.

Gifts, affection, anything you could ever ask for...

As long as you never leave his sight.

He can protect you, love you, sacrifice anything for you...

Yet you're locked away in a private shared home.

Giorno never likes to show you his more ruthless behavior.

He tells you he keeps you in your shared home because he loves you.

Dealing with gangs can be dangerous and while he can patch wounds... he can't resurrect the dead.

Giorno is paranoid behind his calm facade.

He may even be delusional when you have your inevitable fights.

You'll learn he's doing this for your own good, won't you?

He's primarily protective, like Jonathan.

Yet when he holds or kisses you, possessive behavior like DIO shows itself.

Giorno wants to be patient, however he also likes to know you're his.

He's not quite as bad as DIO, but isn't as harmless as Jonathan.

He isn't fully like them, either, he's his own character.

He's addicted to your warmth and voice, clinging to you whenever you're near.

This behavior is most likely due to his childhood and the events of Part 5.

He hates being lonely... He hates losing those close to him....

As a result, Giorno becomes what he is now.

Under his stoic facade, he's scared.

He's scared to lose you...

So locking you away with him feels like the best way to soothe himself.

While Giorno is often kind and patient with you.

Although if you don't listen to him, I imagine he gets irritated.

He is shown to hate repeating himself.

So I can see him losing his patience if you ignore his advice, orders, or rules... Giorno would feel he'd have to discipline you.

Giorno would never hurt you physically... he seems like he'd go for messing with you mentally.

For example, locking you in your room if you're fighting with him.

It starts with just hours, but soon it may escalate to days... weeks.

He feeds you but withholds affection.

His punishments aim to break you down, to drive you back into his arms.

Giorno wants you to need him... to rely on him...

Once you realize that, then he's won, and he has you all to himself.

"I do everything to protect you, my love...."

#yandere jojo #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #yandere giorno x reader #yandere giorno giovanna

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liaa--qb · 2 days

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This might sound overly dramatic, but I'm so sad and disappointed right now because of all those horrible leaks. I know they still might be false, but honestly I believe that save for some details, they are mostly true. There are few things that sadden me the most :

1. Helaemond not being canon. I know that this ship has been controversial, especially among TG, but it really had a lot of potential and was one of my favourite (still is). And I don't care what antis say, there were a lot of hints and undertones in s1 about helaemond, more than for Alicole and look, Alicole apparently becomes canon in the worst possible way. Which brings me to the second point -

2) Alicole being canon. Don't get me wrong. I like this pairing, but it would be much better and more in character if they never acted on their feelings. Not to mention that two sex scenes in ep 1 (if the leak is true) will seem too much and out of nowhere. And to include it in B&C scene with helaena walking in on them having sex right after Jaehaerys is brutally murdered is an atrocious writing decision. F*ck you Condal and whoever is responsible for this.

3) B&C made into a joke. According to the leaks, Helaena won't be given a choice, there will be some upsetting details about getting naked the children and so on..and to have her walk in on her mom having sex with a member of a kingsguard.. Again, f*ck you Condal.

4) Aemond and the brothel madame. Why would he go to the same woman who SAed him when he was 13? And he obviously felt uncomfortable around her in ep 9. And to make him cry while naked in fetal position...I also read on reddit that they will include a mommy kink with breast sucking and whatnot... but this seems way too much and is probably someone's shitty headcanon. At least I hope it is, because if true I'll vomit.

And this is only the first episode. Idk, if this turns out to be true, I'll probably stop watching and it sucks since I really like this universe and was excited about s2. Two years of waiting and for what.. Not only the shortened season but also all this garbage. We'll see in few days, I guess, but I'm not hopeful. Anyway, thanks for reading my rant. I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Ya the way heard about leaks is sooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭☠️ wtf they have done 😬☠️☠️

IT'S MY ANSWER FOR ALL QUES LIKE THIS FILLED IN MY INBOX CZ I GOT SAME QUES FOUR TIMES in different ways😅, so I am answering for them all but it's but long

See it's a kind suggestion from me very sweetly that it's better if you are not expecting something high from makers n watching it without any expectations because if we are hating just because they did some ships wrong then acc to that alot of changes were already done since s1, like Rhaenicent , Larys alot of things but we never had problems.

Listen I am kinda sad also but you know what..... be happy because you know Ewan and Phia are shipping helaemond🥰. They acknowledging it , loving it and adding some own elements to this ship is really amazing of them moreover just for a fan service.

Like "do it for helaemond" 😭 they are so adorable. See I knew very well that it's not gonna happen, I had a very less surity and that's how exactly it turned out.

But you know what not a single ship is going to have any good romantic future 😂 either all of them even Daemyra main centre couple is not being done well by the makers. What can you expect for others ?

because I knew helaemond had lit ceslu potential but it has to be done correctly and Ik hotd makers would ruin it or make it bad even if it was shown canon look at Alicole now. So being non canon yet addressed by makers and actors who specially said they would act on it for fan service is a kind of little serve.

To me it's like I won ( but at what cost 😭😅) but also winning well wasn't there on cards ever. Every ship is going to be destroyed by makers. see what they did with Helaegon(ik it wasn't any good already) but like I am crying on leaks ( I thought atleast this s2 helaegon would be done but better for Aegon's sake but no😭)

All ships barely are going to have small amount of time without any romantic bullshit, just in one or two scene then seperating apart n dying 😂☠️ as I said earlier so to me Ewan phia trying their own things for helaemond in background in genuinely a small cake😂. ( Atleast we have some scenes with them, idk if there would be😑😬 not expecting much)

One thing I really hate that you know they gave Juan and Cesare arcs to Aegon n Aemond making their pair up way intresting to watch. I really wish that Helaena was given the same authority or bit of freedom of exploring herself like Alicent. Sorry if someone as strictly religious like Alicent can do it then it was way easy for Heleana. And whole Borgias recreate would have been so interesting to watch.

I wish I could see Helaena scolding, shouting at Aemond for starting all this shit n hating Aegon for being a useless father after b&c. There should be a sense of of cheating or fraud when she sees her mother who claims to be a religious person but doing everything against it while she had to suffer her whole life with bad marriage.

Not seeing her any active is what which annoys me so much.

they gave her dreamer arc for Nothing just being ignored by her important family members.Phia should be awarded for her acting n carrying heleana despite of their dirty writing.

The thing is Helaemond would have been a shock and surprise more fitting for audience, making Helaena active with this part instead of doing Alicent dirty an don't even ask how I am feeling about Helaena catching Alicent and Cole . It was sooo😭🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😑

And most ironically funny thing is that same thing happened with Borgias, Cesare and lucrezia were not canon initially and never meant for canon, both actors said we will just play into into it but when I rumours started later runners had no choice to make it canon for later season 😂

So never loose hope or stop loving or hyping any of your ship or helaemond I would say because Ryan can pull any stunt any time. The way he is going I don't think he gives much f about book canon, he is doing anything he wants😂😂

So who knows... if he ever liked Helaemond he can pull it anytime 😂(I m not kidding) bcz Alicole fucking specially between b&c since s1 is so ooc I could not even describe. I am not even hardcore FNB fan but they quite messed up Alicole angst and guilt arc which could have been so beautiful. It's so inconsistent with their parts from S1 like what ?🤦🏻‍♀️

And I hate that blood & cheese should have been how Helaena is suffering instead I am afraid whole light will be thrown on Criston/Alicent fucking reveal.

no couple is gonna have any beautiful story so it's kind of better if they are just playing with helaemond behind back.

Atleast there is so much for Helaemond content and on other hand my other ship Rhaemond is literally carried by lil warriors Leo and Eva 😭 on their shoulder with that one scene for all seasons. I never gonna see them interact again😿.

And yes I also hate how Aemond is sent to back his abuser. Like they could have used any other female if they have to show his milf attraction or some kind of guilt kink something but not his groomer. It sucks he is finding comfort in her arms. Like these show runners forgot how all these characters were exactly in season1 bc such changes r so😭

Overall I would say don't leave the show just in terms for ships to be endgame as not a single ship is going to have any happy ending or any romantic drive in HOTD main focus will be on Rhaenyra, Alicent getting depressed and Daemon will be haunted 😭 but still it's your choice in the end😅 I am no one to say anything.

Now I am mainly watching for Aegon & Aemond n how other new entries like Alys, Alyn, Cregan or Addam are gonna introduced ( well who knows if Daeron is also gets his Cameo in the end )

if I am being honest just like the way I started this show after reading book without having any great expectations. It works better that way and may be for Ewanphia Crumbs for few secs if they don't cut their scenes of which I have very much doubt.

( while how I wanna see Ewan phia/Phiwan crumbs on screens in delulu mind😭😭 :

Like this is how I wanted Helaena to jump n beat the shit out of Aemond after b&c n that's how it should be bc that's his brother not any stranger, she had full right to , but there... it's complete opposite :

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pensbridge · 2 days

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This is a thought I had before that I'm rethinking a bit since they decided to drop the trailer yesterday (bless! Oops buried this in my drafts and never got around to finishing til now)

Warning: Long post! (I'm sorry or you're welcome)

I've been trying to stay away from spoilers, so I could be totally off base here, but

Thinking about how Colin will react to Whistledown

I've already talked about Colin having to be needed, but surely there will be layers...

Colin has that line in ep. 1, where he talks about ruining LW and how she ruined his family, yeah after she rips him a new one in the paper - it's a clear deflection. This was never going to be about Marina, or his family. This is about Penelope seeing through the very real facade of Colin, and the fact that he'll believe she thinks those things of him. Because he's insecure if he'll be good enough for her. He needs to be needed, but also I assume Colin will be hurt at the deceit and mindblown at what it means when he puts the pieces together. Replaying certain moments/events, as well as oh, that's why that was so weird. moments that make him feel pain about the sincerity of their romantic relationship right ahead of their nuptials. Because up until the carriage, Colin thought Penelope couldn't see through him. That him trying to be someone else was working. That he was concealing his obvious feelings well. (And he was right; when Penelope "is this a ploy for attention" Whistledown couldn't see him foaming at the mouth and about to pass out on dance floors to know that something had changed.) The carriage was his moment of admission to everything he's been hiding from himself. And she's Whistledown! She's the one who first pointed out those things about him. She even said "does Mr. Bridgerton even know, himself?". He is going to be hurt for what he perceives is her looking down on him. He is going to feel betrayed, because it will seem like a joke he wasn't in on about himself. He's probably going to cry from that, because it will all feel unreal (maybe even like their relationship is fake and she was playing him; he's still insecure about how he's perceived and fearful of getting hurt, especially with Penelope). And the carriage will probably feel meaningless to what he believes her to view it as. like: "what do you mean you saw me pretending all this time for weeks?" Colin was on a different timeline in his feelings and when they sprung into action, they really sprung to all feel like it happened all at once for him. For Colin, it was like they spent all this time together now, he saw her for who she really is - to be less concerned for how she appears to him - and it was like something had really changed between them. And then, to know that Penelope's got an inside edition to how exactly he is maybe feeling, before he fully knows himself.. It's like he gave a full speech on that part of himself (how he portrays himself), and she already had an idea!

It's a complicated scenario, because on one hand there's this conflict between them of the secrecy and certain level of deception (Penelope having this information he's unaware to when they're supposed to be getting married), but on the other side of it Penelope sees him and knows him better than he knows himself (and I don't even think she's aware of it) - it's really the soulmatism aspect of them.

But the carriage won't be ruined. Because Colin and Pen at the core are meant to fall for each other due to seeing the sum of all their parts. Colin now sees Pen, which as I was saying before was not possible without Penelope dropping her crush veil and acting unnaturally around him. Like, right now, he's sure he loves her, because the pieces clicked in the past few weeks. Pieces clicked that he's not even fully aware how or why they come together, and there's a subconscious feeling to the things that can't be explained. I mean, when he goes to see Penelope outside her house and she's like "Whistledown did not want to seem suspicious;" (girl, wtf ), that's a piece to Penelope that he doesn't have the answers to, but he senses. It's all going to make sense once he has time to process and be privy to the hidden pieces of why they are compatible. But, sometimes things just fall perfectly into place without the why.

And he still doesn't know about her feelings prior to the carriage. Like, he thinks, "we both got closer over the past few weeks and we fell for each other through that" (he knows Penelope has always been a constant and that his feelings go back far deeper although he can't pinpoint an exact moment, but up until she reveals it, he's not gonna think she feels that (he probably thought they both fell through the kiss); like they were just good friends and somehow those moments in the past weeks have awakened something in them that neither has realized until this moment).

But that obviously won't last for long. Same as a fight (most likely) won't extend into this long drawn out thing of actual opposition.

And back to the Marina vs Pen debate, the answer to the difference is as simple as this: he didn't love her; he loves Pen! There's nothing more complicated about it; it wasn't real and that goes beyond just the willing deceit of Marina. I could talk about the rose- colored glasses romance/love idealization trope and how that's important to the development (*cough how the change to the show makes sense*), but the crowd isn't ready for that. [I love Marina, therefore her slander will not be allowed here]. But I'll just say the illusion of someone vs knowing someone is going to be the biggest difference [and the greatest catalyst (more on that later)] for how this plays out. Despite not knowing the Whistledown secret, Colin knows Penelope.

It's funny how similar they really are. They're both over-romanticizers. They're idealistic and they both idealized someone and had the pedestal knocked down. We already saw Pen's moment for this, the vital poor declaration moment at the ball. Now, I'm thinking Colin is going to have to battle this idea. He loves her, we know this! We also know that Colin can be impulsive for all of it's good and bad qualities. He is going to have to fight this idea where he acts towards his deepest insecurities. He's sitting outside the bedroom, so it looks promising (lol)! He's angry, but he's ruminating and he's internalizing all of that confusion and fear (I know they'll fight ofc, but for the little moments like that..). He thinks love is a thunderbolt in the sky, not that he fell for her like that, but that love is grand, fairytale-ish; he is a true romantic. His proposal shows as much for his his gestures of grandiosity. He's over the moon about the engagement and he's in a happy bubble after the swift timeline of the realization of their feelings. He'll have to break this idea. Because Colin didn't know love before Penelope. In the conflict of the Whistledown reveal, he'll see that love isn't always this gradiose thing. But that it's moments, being fully understanding of one another, wanting the person, seeing them, and (very important for his development) having them see you. Because that's what REAL love is. He'll actually see the real her and the full picture. Thus, we can actually get the real love confession where he says it. His perfect love idea will be shattered, but the end point will be sweet and more worthwhile than actually not knowing someone. They'll have a deep, dork bond, full love connection for life!

#and plz don't spoil if you have the inside scoop #i had a lot of thoughts..#bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #lady whistledown #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton part 2 #*mine

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