#especially micro genres

[elsenborn]

Tagged by @sushilabs (i can’t even remember the last time I got tagged in something like this lol)

Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people

1. Yes, To Err Is To Human, So Don’t Be One - Will Wood [The first of many 12exe/dexdark leaning songs on this list]

2. All Access - The Garden [On my CSM playlist originally, but its also just a bop]

3. Deeper That Love - Colleen Green [12exe/Dexdark/ednny angst song. But like. Weird angst. The “am I even really a human with real emotions” kind of angst]

4. Waltz in E-Major, Op. 15 “Moon Waltz” - Cojum Dip [just a song I really like. One of the more bizarre experimental songs in my arsenal]

5. Ivy & Gold - Bombay Bicycle Club [Benrook song 💚💙]

6. 134350 Pluto - Cojum Dip [on my Rook and Vash playlists most notibly]

7. Drink To Me - The Pleasantries [On my 12exe playlist and a song I will actually just put on repeat a LOT when making dexdark or 12exe content]

8. Sin Triangle - Sydney Gish [On a handful of playlist. Just a song I really like]

9. Super Rad- The Aquabats! [Just a fun song on my Rook playlist]

10. Satan Is My Motor - CAKE [Kevin Levin anthem lets be real. On my Rook playlist]

Nobody asked for commentary, but you got commentary. I don’t really interact with anyone on tumblr, but if were mutuals go for it ig. Tag me if you do I wanna snoop for music taste.

[official-saul-goodman]

This is mainly my observation as a non black person watching the reactions of other non black people and especially white people to the show Interview With The Vampire, they are a result of a fundamental misunderstanding regarding the idea of horror.

in a world of white dominated hollywood horror movies that mostly contain gore and white familial tragedy and abuse, none of which ever ever include the concept of race, misogyny and homophobia, racialised misogyny, and racialised homophobia- people cannot digest a horror tv show wherein the main character is a black man who is always and forever a victim of systematic, social, and microaggressive racism. people, specifically white people, have always been uncomfortable with being shown the extent of anti black racism in a way that isnt heavily sanitised or sympathetic to the white cause. to white people, the genre of horror simply does not include race cause they have not experienced the horrors of colonialist genocidal white supremacist anti black racism. and i highlight anti black racism because it is the subject of the show, as well as being a topic that is discussed vaguely by non black people while still being the most perpetuated form of racism from a global standpoint.

to white people especially, as the people who are responsible for the worst crimes committed against black people, anti blackness is just one of life's constants that should not be addressed directly or in detail, so to depict anti black racism so openly as a part of the genre of horror is incomprehensible to them. they dont want to be shown even a smidgen of exactly the kind of shit their ancestors and peers are responsible for, cause horror to them must just be things that they relate to and nothing regarding race at all cause it causes them to confront their comfortable positions. this is the same reason why you see white people saying jordan peele's movies are 'too hard to understand' despite being very easy to understand.

horror to people of colour is a concept that intrinsically includes racialised violence, its a constant presence like a rusted nail hovering near an open wound. and white people reject this. which is why they decided to degrade and miscontrue the purpose of iwtv and call it 'just another self important show thats racist and not worth watching'. cause to them horror is meant to be enjoyable, they want limbs chopped off not the actions of their white ancestors coming back to remind and haunt them. even though horror is a genre that is meant to fill you with... horror. horror to white people does not include the politics of racism, cause they see horror as an apolitical genre (obviously incorrect when everything and the kitchen sink is political naturally).

to the people of color, it is a moment of feeling seen, to see a main character ( a flawed man a pained man) experience the horror of all round racial discrimination, to see the horror of him being dismissed and exploited by the white people around him, the moment of witnessing yourself in the other when you see Louis and Claudia being so utterly sabotaged by so many forces, the way they are pushed to making irreversible devastating decisions cause they think they have no other choice to achieve an escape from a multitude of things they suffer through, the manipulation and abuse they had to become accustomed to. this is the horror, the horror of being immortalised against your will and lack of choices you were given, the horror of being forced to be subjected to racialised misogynistic and homophobic violence for eternity. being forced to live with all these memories and no means of forgetting. all this while enduring the way a white man belittles them for even suggesting that he might be racist while he expresses racist micro agressions (both lestat and daniel). this is real horror that hits home, horror you want to devour as a person of colour cause you want to see more of this story continue, to see what becomes of this living limbo that Louis, Claudia, and eventually Armand have to go through.

and as most white people cannot fathom this, cannot relate, they dismiss this version of horror that focuses on racism as a core element from the perspective of a black man and forever young black girl. they dismiss the show as just being tone deaf colour blind casting cause they didnt even see the trailer or try to understand this show. the white guilt is a shield they use to defend themselves against the frank and honest depiction of anti black racism from the perspective of a black man. they do not want to understand. they want sanitised, digestible depictions of racism so the horror remains fun for them.

even though this show is literally categorised as horror, and has all the hallmarks of classic horror including the camp styling, the blood, the gore, the supernatural, and the violence - the single fact that the show's core theme is based around racism from the perspective of a gay black vampire man is enough for them to declassify as horror in their minds. cause people of colour and especially black gay men must always be shown as having a good time to dissuade the guilt of white people and their responsibility is establishing the systems that oppress gay black men. speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil, and the evil is not there anymore.

i may have more thoughts on this that i'll express later but thats all i have for now.

[absolutebl]

I just finished Triage and was pretty impressed with the plot. Altho I mostly love love-centered BLs/QLs, it made me realize I really like plot-heavy ones (especially action/thriller/mystery) if they're done well. Can you look through what I've seen and let me know if I'm missing any good ones?

Ones I thought succeeded to varying extents: Triage, Not Me, Manner of Death, 3 Will Be Free, The Eclipse, Pit Babe, The Sign

Ones I thought fell short plot-wise (but still kinda appreciated for trying): KinnPorsche, Playboyy, Laws of Attraction

(And I've seen others with actiony/mystery plots but I consider the romantic plot to be more dominant so I don't think of them the same way: Long Time No See, Candy Colored Paradox, Kiseki Dear to Me, Never Let Me Go etc...hope that makes my ask clearer....)

Thanks! Appreciate you!

I live for this shit!

Plot heavy (driven) BL/QL

(external motivation)

Liked:

Triage *

Not Me *

Manner of Death *

3 Will Be Free *

The Eclipse

Pit Babe

The Sign

The ones I put an * by are ones that I barely consider BL because they are so very plot heavy.

It's Okay:

KinnPorsche

Playboyy

Laws of Attraction

Also seen, but more romance

Long Time No See

Candy Colored Paradox

Kiseki Dear to Me

Never Let Me Go

Hum, difficult, because I see very little difference between Pit Babe and KP and Kiseki. So I'm gonna spitball a bunch of BL that edges into gay romantic suspense (or in some cases horror / PNR) and see if any hit. These will mostly be Thailand, only Taiwan also dabbles in this sub-genre, and rarely (because of the expense).

He's Coming to Me

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Your Soul (similar team as Triage so def worth trying, it's PNR tho)

Great Men Academy (an odd pick but I think it might work for you)

HIStory 3: Trapped (the first one I thought of after reading your ask)

Golden Blood

To Sir, With Love (more of a soap opera)

Because of You

Ghost Host Ghost House (more horror than suspense)

Chinese stuff:

My Esports Genius Brother (it's WILD)

Word of Honor (censored)

The Untamed (censored)

Guardian (censored)

SCI Mysteries (censored)

Advance Bravely (censored)

Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth

This is one of the few times I'll rec this because this is kinda China's BL speciality and one of the many reasons the censorship is so annoying. Their product is quality... sigh. Bummer it also has to be evil.

Not as much suspense + action but stil external motivation + complex plot (earned romantic threads)

AKA Korea can play, too.

Color Rush

Until We Meet Again

Love For Love's Sake

I Feel You Linger in the Air

La Pluie

Unintentional Love Story

Tinted With You

Vice Versa

My Dear Gangster Oppa

DNA Says Love You

Be My Favorite

Stay By My Side

Two Worlds

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu

First Love Again

Twins

Oh! My Sunshine Night

Cupid's Last Wish

Absolute Zero

So Much In Love (PULP warning)

(These tend to be my personal favorite style of BL. Although some are much less successful than others, in order with best ones at the top.)

[therentyoupay]

Which of your last five works is your favorite/extra special to you?

you will make me choose between my own CHILDREN??? 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 💕💕💕💕💕 seriously, thank you for always asking such thoughtful and interesting questions to play with 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙏

here are my last five works, from most recent (1) to least recent (5).

🌟 updated aug. 24 (today, lol): more than you know the first collab i've ever done with CO-AUTHORING!! i've done writing+art collabs before, like for not in so many words, which was our KRIS+XRIS super fun soulmate!au, but mtyk is my very first author-author collab (+AND ART/PRODUCTION lmao) and this would literally only be possible with a twin flame like @callimara, i literally could not imagine trying to take on (let alone accomplish!!) a project of this caliber with anyone else!! 😂😭✨ so, this one is extra special, for sure 💕

posted aug. 21st: only honor a very quick ficlet that i did not expect to write, and love, about dragonmother!elsa and astrid in a brotp!alliance ❄️🔥😂

🌟 posted aug. 17th: two homes a full-length one-shot that i REALLY did not expect to write, to answer the question of "how might elsa fall first, before jack?" this one is also so so special to me because it's been like, a solid 9 years since i sat down and wrote something like that all in one sitting, in a true, good, ol'-fashioned one-shot 🤣🌟

🌟updated. aug. 7th: snow globe i love this modern au that i created out of the prompt, "just say it," because i feel like it really represents the kind of genre that i'm most interested in reading at this stage in my life! i feel like each of my stories is, in so many ways, a time capsule of who i was as a person, and so i'm really especially loving this story on an emotional, intellectual, and creative level 💕 so that's extra special, too 🥺💕🌟

posted jun. 19th: uninvited another prompt-based ficlet, based on "Jelsa + office/workplace AU for 3 sentence fic please?" that i really loved writing!! 😭💕 writing quick little ficlets and micro-fic for askbox prompts can be so soothing and refreshing 😭💕💕

[theresattrpgforthat]

Got anything that lets you play as monsters (vampires/monsters/etc) in the modern world in the vein of VTM? Ideally something in the PBTA/FITD area of system, but open to others for sure (: Thanks as always for your recs!!

THEME: Urban Monsters

Friend, the difficulty with this post isn’t that I don’t have recommendations for it - it’s that I’m trying to find recommendations that I haven’t talked about ad nauseam to this point. So I hope you don’t mind a fairly extensive “Past Recommendations” at the bottom of this post, because most of the PbtA games I know of are going to be there. I have limited experience with Vampire: the Masquerade, but I’m a big fan of Changeling: the Lost and other World of Darkness games, so I’m going off of general knowledge rather than specifics.

Bubblegum Vampires / Bubblegum Wizards 2, by Gormengeist.

You're a vampire in an infinite urban cauldron of muck and rot, of psionics and wizards, of danger and shadows. Though you are surely terrible, great, horrifying, (etc.), half the day is an enemy to your people; so set forth through the night to make your coin, secure your dwellings, and vanquish your infinite enemies.

You're a wizard who chews bubblegum and collects trading cards. That is to say, cards with the trapped souls of items and enemies within, obviously. An insignificant wizard in an infinite city has lots to prove and you've got to get help somehow. Break heads, steal money, drive stupid, chew gum, trap souls. Simple as.

Neon-Bright art and d6-based rolls, that’s what’s common across both of these games. This is the same world, but you’re living in two different spheres of it, depending on which game you play. As wizards, you collect spell cards that hold the souls of creatures you’ve vanquished, and use them to get yourself out of sticky situations. As vampires, you accrue vampiric powers through blood sacrifice, and your opponents are usually folks with especially tantalizing veins. Both games have various factions that have different goals than you, so if what you like about Vampire: the Masquerade is the amount of different ideologies that have the ability to fuck you up, you might like this game. Thematically, it looks a little more upbeat and pulpy than your typical V:tM game, but if you like one, you have another game in the same system ready to go.

The Hidden, by Dragons Are Real.

As children our parents read us fairy tales, ghost stories and recounted local myths. We’ve always assumed these stories are told to entertain or scare….what if these aren't just stories….everything you have been told is true. 

The creatures from fairy tales, mythology and folklore all exist.  Have you ever thought you saw something strange out of the corner of your eye but when you look again all looks normal. These creatures live in plain sight, unseen by the majority of people, only those who know they exist see them in their true form. Every culture has a name for these creatures but we know them simply as The Hidden.

The Hidden is a modern urban fantasy game powered by the Breathless RPG. It is inspired by such media as Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Constantine and The Dresden Files.

Another pulpy sort of game, the Breathless system that powers The Hidden is great for replicating diminishing resources, putting your characters in more and more difficult situations every time they pause to take a breath. This makes this game great for horror-style stories, and World of Darkness games firmly find a home in the horror genre. If you want something that’s fast-paced and can cover a lot of ground in a short session, The Hidden might be for you.

Tween Wolf, by Ibi Deficit Orbis.

Tween Wolf is a micro-RPG about middle schoolers experiencing both the fantasy of being exceptional, and the fear of being humiliated. As these kids come to terms with their awkwardly developing human bodies, they will also be faced with lycanthropy. And in the process they will experience supernatural heroism and intense shame—and learn to manage both.

It is designed to be played with a bent towards exploring the unforgiving social cruelty of middle school, self-image, and dysphoria. It requires one Game Master, 1 to 4 additional players, a few hours, one six sided die for each player, and two additional six sided dice for the table to share.

This is a very short game, with very few rules and a big focus on trying to keep your wild side under wraps. If what you like about WoD games is the struggle between the monstrous and the human, this might be the game for you. There’s not nearly as many big moral quandaries as there are in typical WoD games - you’re middle schoolers, not eons-old bloodsuckers - but to a middle-schooler, your problems are massive. I feel like the movie Seeing Red might be a good touchstone for this game.

Glamour of Our Youth, by Yuri Runnel.

Glamour of Our Youth is a roleplaying game based on the Forged in the Dark system. Drawing inspiration from media like Riverdale, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina among others, it works to tell stories of supernatural teenage adventures.

Building on the FitD framework, Glamour serves to tell exciting stories with high stakes, putting the youths through their paces as they try to make their way through a strange and hostile world, struggling with conflicts both internal and external, arcane and mundane. 

This game doesn’t cast your characters as specific supernatural beings, but the character options certainly make it possible. You cobble your character together from two different halves: Archetypes and Arcana. Your Archetype hails from classic high school cliques, such as Rebel, Outcast, Socialite and Athlete, while your Arcana details your supernatural ability, including Shapeshifter (which might translate to werewolf), Oceancaller (which you could turn into a selkie) or Shadow (which feels rather ghost-like to me). There’s also plenty of ways to play a teenage mage.

This game is in playtest, but it’s considerably far a long, with recent updates that indicate that the crew is hard at work refining the final product.

Protect the Child, by MintRabbit (that’s me!)

Humans have always been protective of their young, sometimes overly so. Humans have also always feared that which might make their young strange or different, and so insist that only humans can raise their own young. Monsters cannot raise human young. This is known. You have a human baby. You cannot find its parents. What is even worse, is that this child has powers, powers that others covet, and so everyone wants it. If you want to prove that you’re not the heartless monster that everyone says you are, that means you’ll have to raise it, at least until you find someone who is better suited to it than you.  You are creatures of fur, scales and fangs. You have claws that can rend flesh, faces that can crack mirrors, howls that can cause ears to bleed.  And your charge wants a blankie.

Protect the Child is a Forged in the Dark game about monsters caring for a young human, a human who contains strange and mystical powers that make them a valuable asset in any monster crew. The setting and factions present in this game are flexible: you might be aliens in a far-flung future galaxy, fantasy monsters from rival kingdoms, or even everyday wild animals that fear human society. 

So I’ve only just started play testing this game, which means that it’s very much in barely-playable mode. This game is also setting-agnostic, meaning that you can decide exactly when and where your game takes place - including as modern-day monsters trying to take care of a human baby with magical powers. The game is very specific in the themes of the story you’ll be telling - that is, themes about monstrosity, parenthood and responsibility, but if you all want to play different kinds of vampires, you can absolutely do that!

BloodLite, by ruan8000.

BloodLite is a role-playing game (RPG) designed to be played solo, but can be played in a group. In this game, you will create a Vampire following the rules and you will also create the world that this vampire interacts with, as well as the conflicts and obstacles that he will face. The world in BloodLite is like ours, but a little darker and more dangerous, full of supernatural creatures.

This game has no ties to PbtA or FitD, but it cites Vampire: the Masquerade as a direct inspiration, and you can see it in the Bloodline options available at character creation. You have a supernatural gift that give you advantages and also trigger your Hunger, which is your character’s thirst for blood. The goals of the game are represented through an Oath track, which fills when you fight enemies, overcome obstacles, and solve problems. This a fairly stripped-down game, but if you’re familiar with V:tM, then you probably won’t have a problem filling the world with factions, back-alley deals, and political wars.

Hearts of Yokai, by Lowell Francis.

So, this game isn’t out yet. But I can’t stop myself from talking about it a little bit. It’s the product of a Changeling:The Lost PbtA hack that Lowell has been working on for a very long time. I’ve been a bit fan of Changeling: the Lost and I also love PbtA games so I’m really excited to see more of this.

The link in the title leads to the current google spreadsheets that detail the current content of the game and the associated playbooks. The link for Lowell is to a blog post he wrote about the game, talking about the history, the changes he’s made, and the ideas behind what the current iteration is. What really intrigues me is how it incorporates "the actions of the Gentry through the lens of colonialism.” I’m really eager to follow the progress of this game.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Urban Shadows 1e, by Magpie Games.

Bite Marks, by Black Armada Games.

Monsterhearts 2e, by Buried Without Ceremony.

Strays, by kumada1.

Eldritch Investigative Drama Rec Post

[s-che]

“you are a good nurse” (knives out and great men)

***(this is extremely spoilery for both knives out and glass onion. read with caution)***

In quarantine, in a smaller apartment than you might expect, Benoit Blanc is playing Among Us. This is a game—like Clue—which the celebrity detective hates. It’s too simple, too obvious, and too easy to resolve. Although he holds himself to be better than these “stupid things,” they are also a weakness—later, we will be told that he nearly failed to solve a case because it was too simple all along. For now, the gentleman sleuth is doing poorly in isolation, suffering from an all-consuming boredom which descends between cases (a trait he shares with his literary antecedents in Hercule Poirot and Sherlock Holmes). This is, all in all, a tremendous reintroduction to Blanc, the detective who, in 2019’s Knives Out, solved the murder of James PattersoHarlan Thrombey and who—in 2022’s Glass Onion—will attend a murder-mystery themed weekend getaway of the innermost circle of tech billionaire Elon MusMiles Bron. Blanc shares DNA with the classic sleuths—but he is both more and less of a hero than they were. Much of that has to do with the communities he finds himself in. Murder mysteries have always run on high-energy casts of colorful characters—most especially in the works of Agatha Christie, whose Mousetrap, Murder on the Orient Express, and And Then There Were None feel like important steps on the road to Knives Out. Working with big tropes and cliches makes sense in a genre which is, in many ways, about developing and subverting reader expectations, and the two Knives Out films certainly build on that mold, establishing a set of stock characters drawn from the here and the now. Whether we’re dealing with a wealthy college student who sets her political beliefs aside to bow to the demands of her family (Katherine Langford as Meg Thrombey, Knives Out) or an internet micro-influencer about to explode into the mainstream screaming about the downfall of western masculinity (Dave Bautista as Duke Cody, Glass Onion), the supporting casts of both Benoit Blanc murder-flicks are fresh tropes for a fresh culture. They’re also—critically—all drawn from a particular world. Children of wealthy families, publishing executives, influencers, lifestyle models—these are people given a huge privilege, not only in the quality of their lifestyles but in the degree of their control over the direction of their lives. Although Knives Out and Glass Onion both  depict circles dependent on the charity of individual, powerful men—Harlan Thrombey and Miles Bron, respectively—they are also circles made up of people who society grants decision-making power, imbuing them with the belief that they are the protagonists of life granted the god-given right to personhood in contrast to those in sidelined roles—the help, medical staff, and “Derol.” The heroes of both films, however, are the odd ones out. They are neither the suspects (the colorful ensembles of those who “could have done it”) nor the celebrity sleuth himself (on whom everyone depends to solve the mystery and straighten things out), but rather those who are pushed to the side—assumed to be objects, not actors. Marta and Helen are the Watsons of both movies—the characters through whom we view the story, whose experiences frame and color our own (Helen takes on this role predominantly in the second half of the movie, once her true identity has been revealed to the audience). Unlike Holmes’s Watson or Poirot’s Arthur Hastings, however, these two characters are not neutral “straight characters” but individuals who suffer an active isolation, people who—however “normal” they might be in comparison to the cast—are marginalized and assumed to occupy a passive space. This positioning impacts their perspective, skewing things for viewers, reminding us that there is no apolitical way to view these events—and not to normalize the antics of the elite. In both cases—as Marta is Harlan’s long-term nurse and Helen is dedicated to seeking justice for her sister—they are presumed to, and in many cases do, act without ego, functioning solely as objects and in the ecosystem which surrounds the powerful decision makers (Harlan Thrombey and Miles Bron) and support systems on which the protagonists of life can lean. Although the films work to counteract this assumption—reminding us of the fundamental personhood of both Helen and Marta—it is also partially through their dedication to serving others that both Helen and Marta succeed. Blanc puts this clearly in Knives Out when he reveals that he knew Marta was involved in the murder from the start: “I want you to remember something very important:” he says “You won not by playing the game Harlan's way, but yours.” The heroes of these films do not succeed by using their invisible status to their advantage in playing “the game Harlan’s way,” getting one up on everybody by being the cleverest person in the room. Rather, they succeed by staying true to their values and doing what they know is right—even if that means sacrificing themself to the cause of another because it is right. For Marta this is attempting to save Fran—for Helen it is running out of clever ways to seek justice for her sister, and setting fire to theb building instead. By working against their own self-interest in the “game” or “puzzle” of a murder mystery, both Helen and Marta defeat their antagonists. In Knives Out, the Thrombey family spends much of their time bickering over who really deserves to inherit Harlan’s legacy—and the film is clear that none of them can truly claim to have built success themselves, as each was granted the privilege and security of their family’s wealth. None are truly as independent—we might say, “protagonal” —as they believe. Glass Onion takes this a step further, attacking the “source” of the cycle of  wealth. While Harlan Thrombey seems to have been a generally good man, a skilled storyteller, and a strong judge of character—it was his decision to reward Marta, and not his kin, with the inheritance—Glass Onion’s counterpart in Miles Bron is explicitly framed as lacking substance (being a “Glass Onion,” which appears deep but is in fact easy to see through) and having simply been in the right place in the right time to steal someone else’s work. There is no “self-made man” or “good billionaire” in Glass Onion—only people who were lucky enough to be given the opportunity to step on someone else on their way up the ladder. This developed critique of “great men” plays directly into the events of Glass Onion’s climax. Unlike Knives Out, where the police are presented as broadly interested in justice and glad to work alongside Blanc although their investigation has already ended, Glass Onion demonstrates explicitly how systems of power—the courts and the police, but also social dynamics and community pressures—can be bent to the defense of those assumed to be powerful decision makers (like Miles Bron or Ransom Thrombey). There were allusions to this in Knives—where Ransom claims that Benoit solving the murder means nothing, since he has good lawyers and will avoid a significant sentence—but they are eventually unsubstantial, as Marta tricks Ransom into confessing in front of two officers and he is arrested as a result. When, in Glass Onion, when the only evidence to Bron’s crime is burned, Blanc himself seems to surrender, claiming that “This is where my jurisdiction ends” before leaving the room (though not before handing Helen the physical and emotional material she needs to literally burn Miles Bron’s island home to the ground). Although Helen eventually manages to set fire to the Mona Lisa—defeating Bron by ruining his public image, not through criminal prosecution—this does not seem to be her intention when she begins destroying the mansion. In this, Glass Onion seems to develop a second critique of Knives Out—not only do we come to question the validity of the narrative of “good” billionaires, we are shown that, faced with hostile powers insulating  themselves within systems of law and order, the only path to justice may be working outside the law and our basic (i.e. carceral) assumptions of what “justice” is. As the emergency  services arrive to pick up a body, Benoit sits on the beach, smoking a cigar. His hands are clean, and he has inspired Helen to the heroic action that she must take. He is as smart as any Holmes, but he did not do his part in this adventure in the way Holmes would, by playing the game, solving the puzzle, and handing things over to the police. Rather, Benoit has himself taken on a supportive role—supportive to Helen, who has, in turn, taken action and found justice for her sister. He understands the limits of his jurisdiction—in other words, he knows when it is actually his turn to be the protagonist, and when it is his role to inspire others. In a world full of people who claim to have risen to power by their skill and focus, Blanc actually has remarkable skill—but he uses them, ultimately, to ends of uplifting the meek, not simply restoration of order.

[ace-s-fav-dp-posts]

If you're sick of the current popular trope/story prompt in the Phandom or DPxDC fandom you just need to ignore it

I feel like the fans in the Phandom and DPxDC minifandom that's popped up, who are really grossed/creeped out by the genre of fic popular right now.

Where the set up is some variation of Outsider POV and the plot is based around the assumption that Vlad SAed Danny in order to create Dan and Danielle, are people who haven't been around that long.

Especially when they try to whine about none of it being based in canon. And how they don't like the shipping of Vlad and Danny (even though the people who write these kinds of fics are very obviously not shipping Vlad and Danny in them).

Because the Phandom has historically gone through phases much more gruesome and horrifying than that.

Especially when in this current micro-genre, all of the SA and grooming and other kinds of abuse are implied only, and within the fics themselves the assumed abuse never actually happened. As the plot is based on over heard or misinterpreted fragments of information that doesn't give the POV character the full picture of the situation that's actually going on.

There's the infamous vivisection fics, in which the child main character is brutally cut open and tortured by his own parents in the name of their biased views of science. Who in canon, both happily accept him no matter what every time a reveal is happens and never so much as rejects Danny emotionally.

Then there's the variation on the traditional vivisection fic in which Danny isn't emotionally rejected and stripped of his humanity by his own parents. But instead captured and stripped of his human rights by the government, either by his parents unknowing actions which they stay oblivious to. Or in spite of his parent's acceptance of him, and with them helpless to rescue or protect him from the government's torturous "research".

There's the already existing variation of grooming and SA fics, where Vlad grooms and or assaults Danny. Which have been popping up for years now, but in which all of this type of horrible abuse actually happens in the story, instead of it being an Outside POV misunderstanding what's happen like the current micro genre of fic.

There's the fics where the Fentons have just been abusive or just negligent parents Danny and Jazz's entire lives. And them hurting Danny, emotionally or physically, intentionally or accidentally, is just an extension of their already unacceptable parenting habits.

There's the edritch/body horror genre of fics where becoming half-ghost (or sometimes something else) involves at the very least the partial loss of Danny (or Vlad)'s humanity.

Hell there's one fic that's stuck with me for ages, that I read years ago, back in my teens, written from the POV of a Maddie who murdered Danny to prevent him from becoming Dan. Which is stated in that fic to be inevitable.

It's also heavily implied that Maddie had incestuous feelings for Danny the entire fic. And that she also possibly raped him in the midst of her extremely violent* vivisection murder of him. But that if she didn't rape him, at the very least, ripping him open to see his insides while he was awake and struggling got her off anyways.

So yeah, I don't know what other explanation there is to all these people who seem confused and freaked out by the various fics popping up where there's assumed SA/grooming, but actually nothing outside of canon actually happened to Danny, and the whole thing is just a misunderstanding.

Other than them being extremely new to Danny Phantom fics in general and therefore unaware of just how dark (and potentially triggering) they can be.

When there's been fics for years about SA and grooming, some of which is explicit, some of which is all implied and talked around and just as gut wrenching, and some of which is actually painted in that cringe forbidden love sort of way, for more than a literal decade now.

If you don't like it, if it makes you uncomfortable, you're just going to have to ignore or block those people, like everyone else in the Phandom who feels the way you do has done for more than a decade now.

Don't make comments to those authors that you don't like that trope, or that it makes you uncomfortable, or anything similar. Just ignore them or block them if it really bothers you that much. Because if you don't like their stuff, then rather obviously you are not their intended audience, so you need to ignore their posts and fics and keep scrolling if you're not going to block them.

*Also yes I must state it was a violent vivisection murder. Because it is clearly stated in the fic, that Vlad finds Maddie sitting outside on the porch covered in Danny's blood and viscera, and that the room she killed him in is in a similar state.

I wanna say the fic got deleted during the old Fanfiction.net purge of more adult content, even though all of the sexual abuse/incest parts of the fic where all implied and not explicit, along with the violent vivisectoin murder taking place off screen.

Though I could be wrong, and it's still out there somewhere, and possibly not exactly as I remember it. I read it more than 5 years ago now, so there's almost certainly some memory drift by this point.

[chaifootsteps]

Welp, Chai, I rewatched the entire Hazbin Hotel pilot on the night of the 18th. It's been well over a year since I even watched it. Now onto my thoughts...

The Good 😊

The Animation: I know a lot of us complained about Viv's style of animation. But compared to the current HH animation style, it's a lot more pleasing in my eyes. I especially love the smear frames in the pilot (often referred to as "cursed images") as they really make the animation very dynamic.

The Voice Acting: I still absolutely adored the voice acting in the Hazbin Hotel pilot. Jill, Monica, Michael, Edward, Mick, etc. really brought their A-Game and really brought these characters to life. Frankly, I should've been way more upset when they were replaced back in December 2021.

Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow: Man, I have forgotten how much of a banger this song is. I don't know how to describe the genre/genres of this song, but I view it as a strange yet effective mixture of a piano ballad, pop rock, and speed metal. I actually headbanged pretty hard during the song, something I can't say about the new Hazbin songs.

Vaggie: Still love that little grey moth sinner with an unfortunate name. I view her as the most rational (if not the only rational) character in HH. I still enjoy the scene where she explains to Angel Dust the legend of Alastor, very reminiscent of a Hey Arnold urban legend scene.

The One Scene between Angel Dust and Alastor: I don't know why, but the scene where Angel Dust offers a dick sucking to Alastor and then Alastor bluntly rejected him still makes me chuckle to this day. That's probably the only sex related joke I laughed at in my recent rewatch.

The Bad 😡

Seeing Red: This is a complaint nearly all of us had with the pilot: Too... much... RED! I don't know why didn't bother me years ago, yet it bothers me now. Granted, compared to the current series, the pilot has a little more variety of colors, even though it's still red dominated.

The Humor: Unfortunately, aside from the Angel/Alastor exchange, a lot of the jokes in HH fell flat with me during my recent rewatch. It just makes me wonder how I thought HH was funny back then. Maybe Viv's rose-tinted fog really clouded my judgement.

Vaggie's Treatment: One thing I still dislike about the pilot, even back when I was a fan, was how Vaggie was treated. Despite being the most/only rational character, Vaggie was treated quite poorly. From being ignored by Charlie, to being insulted by Angel, to being slapped in the ass by Alastor. *sigh* Why do cartoons have to torture characters with a hint of rationality?!

Too Many Characters, Not Enough Time: Not sure if this is nitpicky or not, but I feel the pilot "introduced" far too many characters in a 30-minute video. Yeah, I put quotes around "introduced" as many of them got only a few seconds of screen-time or were only there in portraits. Even "main" characters like Husk and Niffty got the short end of the stick in terms of screen-time. It also took me long to realize that Viv really favors her male characters over her female ones. Female led show, my ass!

The Ugly 🤢

The Wasted Potential: This is the only ugly thing, but the wasted potential of HH is so ugly that the Ugly Barnacle would die. Under Viv's rose-tinted fog, I foolishly grew emotionally attached and had high hopes for this show. Unfortunately, thanks to Vivienne Medrano's micro zepto-management, she pissed all the great potential away. *sigh* It could've been great... 😔

Well, that was a load-off. Now I feel like I've made some closure. 😇

-Metallica Anon 🤘

Thank you for reminding me just how Gerald Urban Tale-esque Vaggie's Alastor exposition was...between that and the constant little sound effects, the whole thing felt like a Nicktoon, and I know that's part of what I loved about it.

This was a bittersweet walk down memory lane just reading it, but I'm glad you got your closure, Metallica Anon. It really could have been so great.

[cedarbookhs]

One of my favourite micro-genres, especially growing up, was books about kids or teens running away from home and living in unusual places. Some of these are more serious and involve leaving abusive homes. Others, the home life and excuse for leaving is entirely perfunctory and the adventure is the point. The common theme is that the kid leaves voluntarily (isn’t stranded somewhere, but goes there specifically) and then ends up living independently in some unique setting that gives the story a large part of its identity.

My Side of the Mountain — inside a tree in the Catskills

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler — the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art

Maniac Magee — inside a buffalo house in the zoo, in a baseball stadium, and more

The Invention of Hugo Cabret — a grand Parisian train station

notabookbut The Kings of Summer — a homemade shanty in the Ohio woods

Last Sam’s Cage — the Calgary Zoo

The Boxcar Children — a freight car

Suggest more if you can think of any, I know there are lots of other examples.

[djinnandtea]

so I got some interest on this post where I tossed out that I wanted to talk more about monster romance and race and gender. it's been really nice to see a few folks are also wanting to hear/talk about it! I'm not prepared to say anything at length [eta: this turned out to be kind of a lie] with any certainty or research to back me up, but I thought I could post a rough outline of sorts of what I'd want to research and explore further, just as a starting point for myself but also a jumping off point if anyone else has any thoughts or resources.

I guess I'll start with gender first. I'm new to the romance genre generally, but I don't think it's a surprise that the genre has always been dominated by discourse around who reads romance and the kind of gender dynamics presented in a lot of conventional romance books (which are generally heterosexual/heteronormative in a lot of problematic ways). I'm thinking of the harlequin romances my mom and grandma used to read, but also of the discussions around colleen hoover's work and then the dark romance sub-genre too.

this means that there's the obvi discussion to be had about content vs. context. who is writing the romance, what informs their writing, what messaging comes through via choices made by the author, as well as by the context the author is writing in. I'm sure if you've been reading romance--even fanfic--for a while, you're well versed in some of these conversations, even if just in a casual way.

after considering romance on a macro level, I think you'd then have to look at some of those more micro sub-genres. where are gender norms accentuated and exaggerated, and to what end? why is dark romance a thing, why do (usually) straight white women want to fantasize about being in that kind of relationship? what's the purpose being met? (this is all asked non-judgmentally, btw, as I also enjoy dark romance.)

and maybe there are folks who would dislike my comparing of monster romance to dark romance, but I do think the two are related, especially based on a lot of posts I've seen since joining this corner of tumblr. I think there's a lot of interest in exploring ideas around control and dominance that dark romance and monster romance provide contained space for. if you watched my YouTube video, I touch on this a little bit more at the end as well.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot re: gender (like all the stories being told about lgbtq+ MCs), but this is just some initial thoughts at the fore of my brain.

as for race...........well. lol.

there's the very surface level question around what percentage of monster romance FMCs are white. I genuinely don't have this answer, and I know there are a lot of nonwhite FMCs too! but I'd be really curious to know the actual numbers here. why? well, bc diversity matters. but also because of the decades long narratives around white women as victims of men of color, and how that narrative has been used to weaponize whiteness and demonize blackness specifically, and non-whiteness more generally.

I am def not saying that all monster MMCs = depictions of non-whiteness, I'm just thinking about the connections between equating non-white people/bodies with monstrosity. I'm thinking of the historical framing of non-white people and communities as sub-human, as savages, as beastly. inhumane. monsters have kinda always been a metaphor for the other, including the non-white other, and I think it'd be naive of us to assume that vestiges of that brand of racism (which is still alive and well) never inform the ways creators engage with monster romance and monsterfucking, consciously AND unconsciously.

I'm also thinking about orientalism. I'm thinking of the exotification and classification of the east. the way westerners invaded the eastern world and began treating the people there like specimens. I'm thinking about how othering and abjecting and exotifying a culture or community or person can create a power-informed version of sexualizing that culture or community or person. like, othering/abjecting/exotifying can lead to creating a perverted sort of desiring. I have a special interest here because I'm arab, so this stuff feels particularly personal, but yeah. it makes my wheels turn.

there's also a dehumanizing element of turning an othered body into a piece of sexual meat. I'm thinking about the way monsters in these books are always excessive, the way their penises are always massive. we can't pretend that doesn't seem a little familiar to the degrading ways white people have also discussed black bodies, too. like. I'm not saying wanting our monsters to have big dicks is racist, I'm just saying there are some aspects of the genre that I think deserve to be ~unpacked~ and considered in a wider context that takes this kind of stuff into account. not as a confirmed given, but as an avenue worth approaching with curiosity, if only to point out the ways in which it's NOT a product of racism/anti-blackness.

obvi this post is not backed up at present with a single source because I'm just thinking out loud based on stuff I've read previously over the years that I definitely would need to revisit, so I totally get if you read this and think I'm being ridiculous. but if you saw my first post and were kinda wondering what I had in mind when making it, this is it.

[theriverbeyond]

☕️saw you were reading Annihilation, so I want to know if you have opinions on the horror genre (I don't know why this ask is yelling and I don't know how to make it stop)

no worries thanks for the ask

I think the horror genre is really cool! I love how it is such a broad genre, I really love how it can be used to explore really personal/micro level fears in addition to more universal experiences. I like how creative a lot of it is, I like how it is inherently more resistant to attempts at sanitization and censorship (tho of course not entierly immune and people try etc etc).

I also really like how different artists can harness the specific storytelling format they are using to maximize the experience, like junji ito's page turn or horror games that really take advantage of YOU being a person IRL who has to press a button that you know might make a scary thing happen.

however I'm like, a massive dweeb and can't handle 99% of video-format horror, and only some audio formats. Like.... normal audiobook is fine, but spooky sounds are too much. Some level of scary stuff and etc is okay like I could watch Super 8, but I hate jumpscares and also like, high-fidelity gore/body horror. I also couldn't watch the newest cartoon harley quinn tv show because it had too much cartoon blood and violence so like, take that as you will! i also hate feeling afraid which does throws a real wrench into my whole "horror is super cool and I love it" statement above, but we contain multitudes.

My favorite ways to experience horror are hobbyist level short stories (like what people post on reddit nosleep), written and comic format horror (like TLT, blood on the tracks etc), longform youtube analysis (and other types of written essays especially on horror media I am too scared to actually experience myself), and finally wikepedia summaries

ask game (send me ☕️ + topic and i will Share Opinions)

[pookiebearmick]

weekly tag wednesday (on wednesday this time!)

thank you dear @spookygingerr and @mickeym4ndy for tagging me 😍🥺

Name: Deck

Age: 25

Location: I'm out and about 🌈✨

What is your DJ name? God knows lol, I would not be a good DJ

If you were a genre of music, what would it be? I feel like I would be some kind of goofy folksy music? Something with banjo, accordion, oboe, viola - that kind of shit

What would you title your biography? My cousin once said they would name theirs "?" and I think mine might be "!"

What are the first three things you'd do if you were invisible? Like @mickeym4ndy I am SO nosy, I would def be snooping LOL; also might steal some things, groceries are EXPENSIVE

What subject do you wish was taught in every school? I feel like some kind of finance class could be beneficial, but it would have to be a finance class that actually taught the important things? I took a finance class in high school and it was just worksheets of bullshit that didn't help at all in the long run. Teach me how to file my taxes and create effective budgets, please 👏

When was the last time you tried something for the first time and what was it? Omg I had my first fresh peach ever this past weekend and let me tell you, INCREDIBLE

What is the most underrated city you have ever visited? I don't travel often, I'm kind of a home body? But there is a really cute little town up north by my grandparents called Stockholm - it's got little local shops and lots of art studios, even a pie and ice cream shop. It's truly so cute 🥺

What day in your life would you like to relive?

If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why? Honestly, it would be so nice to have things cooked for me? I think my diet would be so much better if I didn't have to do the task of making the food. I truly love fruits and veggies, but I don't have much energy when I get home from work so I don't feel like making an elaborate meal, and often times it ends up being something super quick and easy

How long would you last in a zombie apocalypse? I would actually do so terrible in a zombie apocalypse my GOD. I'd probs be gone within the first few hours, def lucky if I lasted a couple of days lol

What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? I don't know how surprising it would be to me that there's other life in the universe somewhere, but I definitely think it would be cool to discover different species from different planets

If you could have any view out your office window, what would you choose? It would def have to be some kind of garden/greenery for me. Maybe like a micro prairie or a big prairie? Flowers and trees and shrubs and all the green please 💗

if you haven't done it yet and want to, here's your tag @thepupperino @twinklyylights @especially-fuk-u @onthepyre 🥰

[catofthenine]

Hey ghouls!

I thought that making a non-introductory post would help solidify what I got goin here.

I think that the first things that I want to cover are my definitions, values and other miscellaneous junk, so that my coming posts are more cohesive. I do not claim to be someone who knows everything or makes the "rules of goth", I just form my opinions and claims based on what I see. I love taking part in friendly discussion, as well as hearing critique on my ideas! I've decided to cover "What makes someone goth" today, because I think it is what defines the subculture! *This is SO long! I'll provide a TLDR at the bottom, as well as try and organize each piece of thought!

What I think makes you goth! : I think that many factors come into play within considering oneself apart of the gothic community. This may be super controversial! But please, make sure you read my argument! If you pick it apart I don't mind, but please don't throw baseless accusations at me!

There's a common argument going around places like Instagram and Tiktok, where, the only factor in consideration is "Well, Do you listen to the music?" and, I think that's a really dim view on the community as a whole . Gothic Rock, Deathrock, Darkwave, Post punk, Horrorpunk, Gothibilly, etc. are all excellent music genres, and there's such a vast range of what constitutes as "Goth Music" that I don't think someone can say that they just don't like it! But nevertheless, I don't think it is the only factor in considering oneself goth, gothic, vampiric, etc. (Holy hell, that's a ton of micro labels.)

On Literature

The gothic subculture has roots back to the 1700s, as the first gothic literature by Horace Walpole, Castle of Otranto (1765), was published (Britannica). Britannica has an excellent article about Gothic fiction and if anybody is interested, I'll link it below! Other popular fictions are Dracula by Bram Stoker, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. (Books are expensive, and I'd like to read more from the genre, but between cost and time, these are the only one's I've read.)

*The article on Castle of Otranto, however, mentions s*xual assault, so please! Take care of yourself!

Gothic fiction and literature are super duper old, and the emergence of gothic fiction, especially around the 1850s, was what I believe to be the first inklings of the gothic subculture. People's ideas are ever evolving, individually, but over lifetimes as well!

There's a very interesting book by Maisha L. Wester, called African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012), I have not read this book, as it costs like a 100 dollars! I did check it out from the library but was too afraid of ruining it to touch it, Haha! I did manage to find the introduction on link springer, but I don't want to pirate the book because I'd love for the author to be able to get paid for the work she's done.

According to it's introduction, African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012) argues that so much media surrounding racism (historical fiction, historical biography, etc) is in fact applicable to gothic media (Horror, Literature, etc), but because it depicts horrors towards black bodies, critics deem it "less scary", or "too realistic" to be considered "applicable".

*Because I haven't read African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012), I am unable to give full context for it!

**IT IS extremely important to include black views and opinions for what makes something gothic, I'm not sure if Wester argued for inclusion in the subculture itself, or just the literary inclusion, but the literature is EXTREMELY important to consider in foundational gothic media, and so I believe Wester's argument for inclusion is something we must all consider when discussing gothic media!

On Fashion

This is an incredibly touchy subject at the moment. I think everyone has different views on the "gothic fashion vs. goth subculture" online argument. Fashion is an expressive outlet for many in the gothic subculture, and I include makeup and clothing as apart of this.

In my opinion, it's not black and white! While I do not think our desire to look cool comes before those who work in sweatshops, plus size and disabled people deserve clothing that they like! It's no secret that plus-sized individuals have a difficult time finding clothing they can wear, and brands like Shein, Romwe, and Cider, all accommodate that. Disabled people who have difficulty leaving their homes, whether it be issues that impact their energy, mobility, or something else, also need clothing to wear! There really is no difference between wearing something gothic vs wearing something basic from these websites, and so while I appreciate the sentiment "Goths don't support fast fashion", there's no possible way to make this a monolithic idea within this specific part of the subculture.

Some people will also accuse others of being classist within this topic. I think it is SO important to remember these few things:

You do not have to be goth! You also do not have to dress gothic to be goth!

There is a set of values that comes with being apart of the subculture! This is like, one of the only necessary factors I consider for members of the subculture.

IMPORTANT! So many baby bats I see are very nervous about not looking "goth enough", and not having as big of a gothic wardrobe as other people. REMEMBER! Most gothic wardrobes are curated over long lengths of time, and anything black can be made into a goth fit!

But this isn't to say that if you are poor, that you do not deserve nice clothes, or new things! I myself have been known to commit the sin of shopping on amazon! I just wanted to put this tidbit in to encourage others to not feel the need to overconsume fast fashion to fit into the community.

All that being said, I do not think fashion alone is enough to consider yourself Goth. I've seen people create a distinction between goth and gothic, and that honestly sounds like a nice way to say poser.

In the past, if you did not listen to the music, share the values, but enjoyed the aesthetic, you were seen as a poser. This got so extreme that people began to anti-label themselves! (I believe this was circa 2000s, with the emergence of emo and scene in prominent media), People would avoid labeling themselves anything at all, There's an interview of Avril Lavigne saying that calling yourself punk is the least punk thing to do, which is now totally clowned on...

... But my point here, is that as many people online who have been alternative for a very long time, seeing another alternative person cemented a feeling of community, as shared interests and values were likely.

On Values

This is so very very long already!

Alternative subcultural values are not monolithic. Metalheads, goths, punks, emos, etc. all have different values, takes, opinions etc. Please do not ask me the difference between all of these, It'd be a super long answer, and I nor anybody actually cares about my opinion about that.

That being said, gothic values and punk values are almost one in the same. I feel that it depends on the type of goth you are, but it is not outlandish to expect every goth to be against capitalism and anti fascist.

A seemingly small portion of goths say that veganism or vegetarianism is necessary, but I really think that's extreme. Necessary veganism/vegetarianism is also anti-indigenous, classist and ableist.

* I do not want to get into a debate on veganism. It is off topic.

Something that I used to see everywhere for a main criteria, is also knowing goth history! This is very important to be able to provide context on why things are the way they are, as well as rules/regulations, as well as understanding the modern gothic movement.

^(I consider this to be Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead (1979) onward, although many consider The Doors to be the first gothic rock band, and many other influences between The Doors and Bauhaus arose as well. I'll get into this later, maybe my opinion will change after more research is concluded)

Conclusion

That was a lot! Please remember that this is just my opinion, and while i am open to pleasant conversation and critique, I wont respond to anyone unkind and inflexible, and depending on the severity, I may block you! It is not out of hate or spite, but this blog is something I consider to be a safe space, and home to one of my biggest passions.

I think that I could speak more about each topic individually, but I also go outside, and don't want to get caught up in things that do not matter.

I do want to cover history as well! Maybe Vampira, Elvira, and Etcetera!

TLDR:

IMO, The factors that would make somebody goth, are not concentrated to just taste in music! The gothic subculture is not just a music fanbase! Enjoying media such as horror literature and movies, listening to music, dressing up, expressing yourself are all large components in what make up the culture, and between being a horror fan (for ex.) vs. being a goth overlaps in so many areas!

The takeaway I hope that is received is, be open minded. Gatekeeping is necessary to keep the subculture the subculture, but I don't think that it's as rigid as many people think it is.

Song Recommendation: Stigmata Martyr

I wanted to put a Bauhaus song, but I figured since I already linked Bela Lugosi's Dead, it would be redundant. Also it's likely that SO many of anyone who sees this will already know Bauhaus.

Thank you for reading!!

-Cat (They/Them)

(Catofthenine)

[bitchlessdino]

Guilty Pleasure Pt. 3

Pairing: Jihoon x f!reader x Mingyu

Genre: angst, suggestive content

Word count: 2.8k

Tags: situationship!mingyu, roommate au, mentions of insecurities, angst, pining (mutual and one sided), suggestive language and content

Summary: You know what’s shittier than liking someone taken? Liking someone taken by your best friend.

author note: hehe

Chapter list

Jihoon was freaking the fuck out. He had gotten used to you being around, he had to, but your behavior around him was peculiar. It was like something in you…shifted. You would not only stay over like you usually did, but you’d also stay past Mingyu’s time to leave for work. It was as if you were staking your claim at their residence.

In his eyes, you were a bit more free-willed than most people he encountered, at least you made it that way. And not many people at this point would continue to have sex with someone knowing their roommate would be around, at least not as often as you two did, but the circumstances have surpassed sex at this point. You were around as much as Mingyu was, if not more, making Jihoon wonder if you ever had your own place, to begin with. You essentially became another roommate.

Then there’s this tension he’s feeling when he’s around you. Your gazes fall on him a little longer than they should’ve. You’re wearing less and less articles of clothing around him, leaving almost none to the imagination at times. It felt like more clothes were on the floor than on your body, even remembering a pair of underwear left behind on the couch. You didn't change how you talked though, but it felt that’s what made it harder for Jihoon to confront you about these things. That and the never-ending guilt of being madly infatuated with you.

“Hi, Jihoon!”

You greet him from the couch in familiar article clothing that made his eyes shoot up. “You’re here…In my shirt?”

You styled the same shirt you borrowed about a week ago when that waiter spilled all those soft drinks on you. There was no way he could forget it. It was also the same shirt used to…pleasure himself the same night. Jihoon built up a cool sweat remembering the stains of sweat and cum he’s left on that thing. He takes a harsh swallow.

He really should’ve thrown that away by now.

“Yeah. It’s just so much comfier than Mingyu’s. I feel like I’m drowning in his clothes. I hope you don’t mind,” tossing a piece of popcorn in your mouth, lifting the top hem of it for a sniff, “It smells clean so.”

He coughs into his fit, somewhat almost choking on his own drool. “No. No. Go nuts. It’s just, you might as well pay rent. You’re here all the time now. 

You straighten up your back, worried if you’ve become a nuisance by overstaying your welcome. “Oh sorry–”

“That’s not what I meant. Just, it’s cool. Where’s Mingyu?”

“He’s, uh, busy. Not sure with what, just busy enough to rush out of the door.”

“So just us?”

You nod with a grin. “Yeah, for a while anyway.”

That wasn’t good. Sure, you’ve been left at the house alone, sure, all three have been in the house, but the only other times you and Jihoon were ever alone together were the moments he planned on leaving. Now he’s home with no option to leave, especially when he’s made it apparent he has nowhere to be. It’d be weird if he isolates himself in his room, wouldn’t it?

“Join me,” You offer, patting the empty space next to you, “You can pick what we watch.”

He’d be a fool not to take up that offer, or he's the biggest fool in the world for agreeing to it. Either way, here he was sitting side by side with you on the couch, the micro hairs of his arms standing tall. His heart was probably pounding a thousand miles a minute. His sanity was holding on by a single thread just knowing there’s a short distance between your knee and his. He felt like a blushing teenager all over again.

He’d sneak gazes at you from the corner of his eye. You would mindlessly eat your popcorn and eyes glued on the first Ironman movie, almost as if you forgot he was there. He couldn’t move a muscle even if he wanted to, he felt frozen.

You laughed at the funny scenes, made comments about Tony Stark's questionable character, and lightly shoved Jihoon to point out interesting moments on the screen. He would enjoy the movie if you weren’t all he could focus on. Eventually, there was a point that night he’d calm down. You were dozinb off at this point, your guard falling as your head swung back and forth in the air. Your eyes are already entirely shut, and your body’s gravity naturally settles on Jihoon’s shoulder, causing his peace to be cut short.

Your face so close taunts him, breathing out of your nose down his chest, ticking his skin. He attempts to push you away, nudges you by the shoulder, and even attempts to move you by hand. He takes the side of your head, deciding to bring it up against the couch but instead, he finds himself staring at your sleeping figure.

From the delicate layering of your lashes against your soft cheeks, to the peaceful heaving of your chest as they took paced breaths. You looked delicate, beautiful, ethereal. He parts your hair away from your forehead, fingers brushing over your soft skin, and he feels breathless under your wordless spell.

He shifts his legs slightly to regain some sanity but doesn’t let you go. He could feel what most people knew as butterflies, the sounds of the TV drowning out in the background as Jihoon is lost in the heat of his own movie. He feels greedy, and the tingling sensation of his hands against your face sends him the itch to hold you closer. He pushes more hair out of the way for your comfort, so he tells himself, tucking them away behind your ears until your eyes begin to flutter open and stare back at him, his finger frozen behind the back of your ear. 

Your vision was still disorienting from your slumber, unsure of what you were seeing. The man you couldn’t help but think about for weeks on end staring back at you with an innocent, but startled, look in his eyes, as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. There is this moment of silence you have. It was long enough to notice the longing in his expression and how it matched yours. Although no words were spoken, it was all seen in his eyes, his breath, and his presence.

You were dreaming again, you thought. This image just happened to be a lot more vivid than others. Like any dream, you reach up to him, hand cupping his warm cheek, fascinated at how realistic it was this time around, and notice his gaze soften. You admire the smooth sensation of his skin before capturing him in a liplock. His were as soft and plush as always, but unlike your visions, he was warm. 

His arms loop around your body in an embrace, finding your waist naturally and pressing up to the heat of your body. His lust takes control of him and kisses you like he feels he’s meant to, stroking your sides and memorizing your body with his fingertips. Love in every touch.

It was then you figure out it wasn’t a dream at all and your eyes shot open. You froze under his grasp and now you weren’t the only one to realize the reality as Jihoon is the one to push you away. A stern expression takes over him as he dumps you aside and stands up from the couch. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he leaves you with a few last words. “I’ll pretend that never happened and so should you.”

But you wouldn’t. How would that even be possible?

Jihoon traps himself in his room for the rest of the night and avoids you entirely after that incident. He doesn’t answer your texts, makes sure his work gives very little opportunities that you’d be alone together, and he would leave as soon as you’re in his sight.

You look up at the ceiling of Mingyu’s bedroom in contemplation, surrounded by the heat of his half-naked body.

“What are you thinking about?” He mumbles with closed eyes, taking over the structure of your hand and clasping it with his.

What else could you have been thinking about?

“Not much.” you breathe out.

“Okay…Ready for another round?” His tone perks up.

You softly scoff, a smile curling up on your face. “Aren’t you tired?”

He shrugs, running a hand through his messy hair, “I think you could wake me up.”

He crawls on top of you, peppering kisses around your neck and grinding against your body. You throw your arms around his neck, trying to get into it, but ultimately you feel your body involuntarily reject him. “Gyu, sorry. I’m just a little…out of it.”

“Anything…I can…do to help?” He speaks between his kisses.

You blink back up at the ceiling as Mingyu settles on your neck, “I was thinking over some things.”

“Am I one of those things?”

You shut your eyes, the pang in your heart hurting more than it should’ve and you push the bigger man off of you. “I-I don’t know. I’m just…I think I’m gonna call it for a night. I’m sorry.”

You pick up after yourself, collecting clothes to put back on your body as Mingyu sits up distraught, concern written all over his face as he tries to calm you down and hopefully prevent you from leaving. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong? What’s happening? If I did anything—“

“No,” you sigh, “I’m just having some…strong feelings right now and you don’t deserve that. Not with what we have.”

“Hey, I’m more than a hot piece of meat. I’m your friend. Come on,” he extends a hand, “tell me what’s wrong. We can fix it.”

“I don't know if it’s something I can just fix.” You slump down in his bed, knees to chest and face to hands, “I feel like I screwed up Mingyu and I don't know if you're the right person for this.”

Mingyu sighs, sounding discontent. He grew rather fond of you in the past few months, looking past the body, face, and pure allure you just emit and seeing the human behind it. You become this insecure, unsure person that gets indecisive or self-deprecating and whenever you think you make a mistake, you put yourself down. He wanted to uplift you, reassure you, and just be with you. He was enjoying your codependency and vulnerability; it gave him a sense of fulfillment. Whatever he was feeling for you, he just wanted you to be happy and to see you so stressed for a reason he didn’t know, he knew he would scour the earth to fight whatever it was in your way.

“We’ll never know unless we talk it out,” He strokes the side of your head with kind, doting eyes. 

How could you even explain this to him if you wanted to? Would it have made you a bad person to say you were thinking about someone else while you were with him, specifically someone he knew? His best friend and roommate at that?

“Fuck it.” You hop back in bed, take off your shirt, throw yourself on Mingyu once again, and evade your internal conflicts. Mingyu gladly obliges, reciprocating your kiss with equal amounts of vigor, but questions you in your urgency, aware of undisclosed issues he knew you still had. “But…the talk?”

“I just need to forget. Take your dick out for me, baby.”

You shouldn’t have done that. You should’ve been honest. However, Mingyu’s cock was some damn good sense of relief. Mingyu gave you some mental space, generously patient with you coming out to him with the truth. Although he gave you plenty of opportunities to for you talk out these issues with him, you always found some way down his pants and he was only a simple man. So, he let you be. After some time later, everything began to make sense.

Mingyu noticed his roommate being home a lot less, and sleeping over at Vernon’s a lot more than he typically did, but that didn’t bother him initially. Jihoon is a workaholic at heart, he would be out of the place a lot, but Jihoon made himself seem avoidant. It was like he had something to hide, which seemed likely. Jihoon was a pretty private guy, for the most part, but Mingyu didn’t doubt whatever truth his roommate had to hide would’ve been anything but harmless.

The picture all came together when he noticed the apartment door cracked open haphazardly. Distraught voices, yours in particular, on the other side discussing something that would make him think twice about what he thought he knew about the people he cares about.

“Jihoon, you can’t ignore me forever.”

“I’ve been doing pretty well so far.” 

The distress was evident in your tone, urging Mingyu to press an ear to the door as they do in those romantic comedies during an intense scene between the main protagonist. In this case, it was you and what he could assume to be Jihoon, and then there was himself, the nosy supporting cast. 

“You said you were going to forget it happened. Well, guess what. It happened and you’re acting weird about it.” A clap to thighs resonated, obviously from you that done it in frustration.

“I’m not…where’s Mingyu anyway?”

You sigh, noticing the immediate abrupt change in topic. “He’s picking something up from the pharmacy down the street. I stayed back.”

“…why are you doing this to me, y/n?”

Mingyu had to see the situation unfold. In a squatting position and space only enough for one of his eyes to get a view, he leers through the tiniest crack the door mustered. He was lucky enough to get both you and Jihoon in his only direct line of view. He lays a hand against a wall to ground himself steady, noticing your physical states on opposite ends of the spectrum. Your body language was open and directly gave attention to the person you were talking to, while Jihoon was evidently more closed off.

“I just want to talk to you again. Like we used to.”

“We can’t do that,” Jihoon emphasizes, he glares with his voice almost hissing back at you.

You furrow your brows back at him, taking a step closer to him. “Why not?”

“We…I can’t.” Jihoon’s figure slumps down, his voice faltering in the softest, faintest tone.

You soften your gaze, getting closer and closer to him, “If it’s about the kiss…I think about it every day, Jihoon.”

Mingyu’s eyes shot up at this, trembling from behind the door as he sees you approach Jihoon with longing in your eyes. Mingyu didn’t even think you could make a face like that. Was that what it looked like? What were the expressions you gave to Mingyu?

“Y/n. Stop,” Jihoon manages to gasp out, clenching his teeth in utter frustration. “Just stop.”

You reach out to grasp the fabric of Jihoon’s hood, “I can’t. I like…I like you.”

“Y/n—“

Mingyu sees through the crack of the door you brushing your lips against his roommate, languidly moving into the kiss before Jihoon completely succumbs. He sees the other man pull you by the waist, kissing you like he’s done it, or imagine himself done it, a million times. His hand smooths over the hair on the back of your head, returning your kiss tenderly. Your body reels in Jihoon’s embrace, savoring this moment in its entirety. 

Mingyu felt heated, grips the door in a hot sweat.

“Oh! The door is open!”

Both figures on the other end repel each other swiftly, pushing each other to opposite ends of the room. You retreat to the farthest part of the kitchen and Jihoon stood in the middle of the living room. Mingyu pushes the door open and refrains himself from any strong apparent emotions, utterly failing.

“Hey, Hyung!” He greets his roommate briefly before dropping his pharmacy purchase by the front door and making his way toward you. He picks you up from the ground and pulls you in for a deep, passionate liplock, tongue invading your mouth, urgently trying to fill the absence of Jihoon’s presence with his. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” Mingyu gasps as he parts.

“Mingyu.” You exasperate, eyes wide with warm cheeks, Mingyu unsure if it was because of Jihoon, Mingyu, or the possibility you were caught in the middle of your midday rendezvous.

“Yeah, I’m gonna get going. See you guys later.” Jihoon makes his escape, grabbing his bag, and closing the door he disappears behind, a bitter taste left on his tongue: a sense of reality.

MIngyu doesn’t tear away from your gaze even when Jihoon departs, hands slipping past your waist and down the flesh of your ass, feeling you flinch under his touch. “I don’t know if I can wait until the movie. Let’s fuck right here in the kitchen.”

“Mingyu,” You halt him, pushing his hands off your body and staring back at his hungry daze with a pitiful expression. Mingyu expression’s drops gradually, hurt by your reluctance, but doesn’t let you go, and instead grips you by your wrists. His throat goes dry seeing your face wash over with guilt.

“I think we need to talk.”

[therentyoupay]

Hellooo! Sending this ask purely because I need someone to kick my butt into writing gear :'D but how do you manage writing without getting bogged down with self-doubt? My brain has the tendency to cripple my creativity and then I convince myself that the writing is trash. Even though no one but me is reading it at the moment.

HELLO LOVELY! ✨ i'm so sorry it's been so long since you sent this ask; i've been bogged down with academia but i promise i have been pondering your ask for these past three months now!!

honestly, this semester i'm relying on a lot of similar strategies for overcoming self-doubt in my dissertation writing process right now that i used to experience with my fanfiction (and still occasionally do, but it was a lot more prevalent in my teenage years and early 20s). regardless of the genre and context, i totally get how self-doubt can sneak in and mess with your writing and creativity and the enjoyment of the process. here are some things i do, which i'm sure lots of people have shared before, but it probably bears repeating!!

re: "trash": first of all, even trash is good. trash is SOMETHING. trash means creation and some form of use. seriously, even if you hate what you write at first, IT IS SOMETHING. remember it is generally easier to edit (even if you delete it all later) something than to create from scratch, especially if a long time has passed and you've built up the task in your head. i say let yourself write without judgment for a set period (like 10-15 minutes). don’t worry about grammar, structure, or quality. just get out your thoughts in whatever stream of consciousness makes sense to you and bypass your inner critic. this is a skill that needs to be developed and honed through practice. second, if you're bad at bypassing the inner critic at first, name it and tell it to shut up ("be quiet, reginald"), and carry on. repeat until it's actually easy, and then reginald doesn't even talk that much anymore.

separate writing and editing: on that note, write first, edit later. trying to do both at the same time can kill creativity. write freely, knowing you can refine and improve your work later. on that that note, you can always take a break from writing one thing to go write another thing and then come back to it when your head is more clear and your eyes have freshened!

set small goals: break your writing task into smaller, manageable goals. i like to set word count goals OR "write for X minutes" OR "write Y scene(s)" goals. i do this with both my dissertation and my fanfiction and my non-fic book writing, depending on the day, the deadlines, and the vibes. remember that small wins can build momentum and confidence. another thing i like to do to loosen up and get back into the swing of things via small-goal-setting is to post baby drabbles and micro-fic on tumblr!

positive self-talk: watch your inner dialogue. swap negative thoughts ("this is terrible/trash/whatever") with positive ones ("this is a draft, and it’ll get better with revision"). this is a skill!!!! practice it!!!! related: your writing may be a reflection of you in many ways, but it is not you; writing garbage on an off day does not mean that you are garbage or that your writing is always garbage. separate the skills, performance/product, and person. (and remember: garbage is still something, and you can edit it later.)

create a routine, if you can: this one doesn't quite always work for me, to be honest, due to the nature of my workday, BUT, when I'm able to do things consistently, i do like to set up a regular writing routine! consistency can help reduce anxiety and make writing feel like a natural part of your day. when i was in grad school (the first time) and working i used to write while on my commute, every day, on my phone; those of you who were with me in 2015 remember the prolific sorcery of that year. 😂

seek feedback: share your work with a trusted friend, beta reader, fellow writer, etc. sometimes you don't want to unleash your writing to the full internet right away, and that's totally fine and normal, but you still want constructive feedback. find a friend who will beta!!! they can reassure you and point out areas you might not have noticed. (and receiving and incorporating feedback is its own skill worthy of its own post, but i shall leave it for now!!)

CELEBRATE progress: i'm so serious, recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. enjoy each kudos!!! each like!! each posted fic! each drabble!! each reblog!!! each bookmark!!!! reward yourself for reaching milestones (1 kudos, 10 kudos, 10,000 kudos, 1 comment, 200 comments, 1 hit, 5 hits, 500 hits, 1 story posted, 12 stories posted) to reinforce positive behavior. 😉 basic applied behavioral analysis and behaviorist psych!! (remember: positive self-talk, setting small goals)

visualize success: i do this one all the time for basically everything in my life lol (teaching, public speaking, finishing my dissertation, book tours for my non-fic books, winning awards, finishing fics). close your eyes, and picture yourself finishing your writing project successfully. how does it feel? what do you see? who is there? how does it smell? what are you wearing? where are you? what do you hear? visualization can boost motivation and reduce fear of failure and can give you all sorts of goody feel-good chemicals. your brain literally can't tell what's real or not real sometimes, so give it something tangible to make the task feel like it's literally in your reach (because it is 😉). this is, interestingly enough, also an incredible boost for writing itself, haha.

clean something first: maybe this is just me, but clean your desk beforehand. 😂 or go to a café or something. new fresh space. but don't let yourself get distracted by that either!!

read for inspiration: read works by authors you admire to get inspired and remind yourself why you love writing. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

WRITE. WRITE WRITE WRITE. WRITE LIKE THE WIND MY LOVE.

[tactidoll]

Dollypop, got any rap recs?

so ive been planning on doing a series of playlists as a kinda introduction to rap, especially so after the dot vs drake beef has put rap back in the spotlight and made more people than ever actually aware of the lyrical content of these songs, its mostly been an issue of executive function beating my ass 5 ways to sunday lately, but suffice to say rap recommendations has been on my mind a lot lately

i could probably go on for a few hrs about hip hop and its place as the culmination of all music prior, but rap is a genre that more so than others rewards album listening so i will more often than not recommend albums over singles/tracks but ill try my best to isolate what i consider to be a well rounded list (no links cus i dont use spotify lmao)

theres a lotta ways to split up rap and hip hop as a whole into a thousand micro genres, especially when you take regions into consideration but i think im gonna go with just 15 tracks that cover as many bases as i can and give a little explanation for each track starting with

NY State of Mind - Nas: ny state of mind is THE classic in my books, dj premier provides the perfect boom bap beat for nas to make the final push to usher in a new generation of rap, literally sampling eric b and rakim in the chorus, the previous pair to bring the genre from the 80’s into the 90’s, furthering that push with more complex rhyme schemes and blending the street/gangsta rap of nwa and wu-tang with the jazzy introspection and philosophy of de la and tribe, a perfect set piece for the album of a desperate kid rapping and telling his stories like its his last day on earth because it just might be

Doomsday – MF DOOM: the manifesto of a super villain, a rulebook on rap, a re-emergence of a forgotten rapper, after the death of his brother and issues with the record label dropping KMD Zev Love X disappeared in ‘94 and then in ‘99 MF DOOM dropped operation: doomsday, the dizzying rhyme schemes and word play, the casual humor and pop culture and sampling referencing lends to a true statement of a song, that DOOM was here and was gonna change the world

4th Chamber – GZA: a dozen wu-tang tracks could’ve appeared on this list and all would be justified but 4th chamber is my favourite by far, starting with the now iconic samurai or kung fu film sample and then kicking into a crazy intro beat that calms slightly in time for ghostface killah to come in and pick it right back up with the first verse of this slick posse cut

Mathematics – Mos Def: Yasiin Bey Is a genius plain and simple, another track produced by preemo another masterpiece of a beat, Bey raps about the sociological statistics that work to keep the black population down in this mathematically driven guide through the politics of the late 90’s

You Got Me – The Roots: this track really shows just how good live instrumentation can be, black thought is one of the greatest of all time, simple as frankly I don’t have too much more to say its just a brilliant song

Wesley’s Theory – Kendrick Lamar: the opening to the greatest album of all time, opening with the mission statement of the album, the sample at the start before the james brown esque hit me pulls the tone back down to earth, part one of the track being a young kdots reactions to the money hes been looking for and part two kendrick plays the role of uncle sam the mascot of white supremacy looking to exploit over eager black artists and talents and lump them with a bill and lock them up when they cant pay it, the deep seeped politics, the groove of thundercat and george clinton of the parliments and funkadelic collectives and the dr dre break really helps sets the tone of the album

Jazz (We’ve Got) – A Tribe called Quest: the perfect jazz rap song, the beat was original made by pete rock before being remade by q-tip, a quintessential classic of the genre simple as

Shook Ones pt 2 – Mobb Deep: the greatest gangsta rap song of all time and frankly its not close its something spectacular, the hardest two 19 year olds ever sounded, over a dark almost evil beat produced by havoc this track is an absolute landmark for not just queensbridge but the entirety of the east coast

Introvert – Little Simz: this track is nothing short of spectacular, a powerful, cinematic, orchestral masterpiece, deep diving into her inner turmoil and her roots, the corruption of the british government, this song shook me to my core when I first listened to simbi, a rallying cry that calls for a war against the oppressing forces further tightening the chains if we ever are to be freed from the oppression

Don’t Cry – J Dilla: this song is gorgeous, chopping up I cant stand (to see you cry) by the escorts into a wonderful beat, made by jay dee in the final throws of his life, half worked on while hospital bound, frequent collaborator and fellow soulquarian questlove stated that this was a message to his mother as J dilla knew the end was near

Nuthin’ But A G Thang – Dr Dre ft Snoop Dogg: the quintessential G-funk banger the genre doesn’t get better than this

SORRY NOT SORRY – Tyler, The Creator: a weird choice for this list, I wasnt sure if I wanted to include it because its so tied to tylers discography but its honestly one of the best rap songs ever when you have the context, especially when you take into account the music video where tyler and all the various versions of himself stand before an audience of ex’s and other notable judgemental presences in his life, as he kills almost every version of himself barring the ‘ugliest’ sides of himself in igor and goblin era tyler potentially insinuating those parts of him still reside inside him

I Used to Love H.E.R – Common: this song is so very important, maybe the best use of metaphor in the whole genre, a fallen out of love story for that very same genre, fantastic storytelling and a great beat by no I.D. one of the most important producers and figures in hip hop out of chicago

Aquemini – Outkast: the title track from one the duos third album and really the record that put the dirty south on the radar on a nationwide level, a sign of their decision to stick together for as long as possible, andres verses really shows hes one of the all time greats and that big boi is not far behind at all

Hazard Duty Pay – JPEGMAFIA: this song was all I listened to for a few weeks after it release, an aggressive single verse track over a soulful beat what more could you want