The Baronet Seeks A Wife, Chapter Two
A Crimson Peak Multi-Part Fanfiction.
Thomas Sharpe x fem! Reader Arranged Marriage AU.
Summary: England in the 1890s. When your spirited sister, Charlotte, defies your family by running away from her arranged engagement to Sir Thomas Sharpe, you are the one who must keep your family from scandal and ruin...by taking her place as the baronet's bride.
Word Count: 6441 (have your tea and biscuits ready)
Chapter warnings: Grammer and spelling mistakes that missed my radar. Hints of past child abuse and a brief mention of sex, but nothing explicitly discussed, my performing arts side rears its head. I do my best to portray the period as accurately as I can and Thomas as accurately as I can. Some angst and something of a small anxiety attack/meltdown if you can call it. But fluff! Lots of fluff!
If I miss something and you see something in my work that could be triggering that I didn't mention, then it is your responsibility to please please please tell me. I will take full accountability for how I portray marginalized groups and sensitive subject matter and make sure to better my writing and warnings so affected parties are protected.
A/N: Missed it? It's back, baby! I had some BAD writer's block with this miniseries, but I figured it out. Thanks to your help!Without it, part 2 wouldn't see the light of day. So enjoy!
A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad
Taglist: @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr @asgards-princess-of-mischief @steasstuff @anukulee @kimi01985 @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @giona45-5
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The Baronet Seeks A Wife Taglist: @stainlessciel @mjsthrillernp @thegodofnotknowing @magicalmichelle96 @princessdragon23 @heavyymetalchick @xalphafox (if anyone wants to join a general taglist of my work or just be on this specific one, let me know!)
The sun beat down on you for the opening day of Ascot and your little lace parasol and hat could only shield so much. You were in light-colored laces and full trim. Your dress was a light pink. You needed a lighter color to not attract heat
Plenty of other ladies would be in lighter fabrics for the June weather. But their eyes would flicker to you and whisper. You held up your open parasol and hid beneath it. Wishing it would block more than the sun. You scurried behind your mother.
The men, that is, papa and Sir Sharpe were with one servant picking a spot for the picnic before the horses could be released.
It would be your first outing as the betrothed of Lady Sharpe in the public eye. Your schedule had already been booked for a one breakfast party, a reception, and a ballet next week. The last one you were particularly excited for as they were doing Tchikovsky’s The Sleeping Beauty and scrambled to get tickets. But ballet or horses or breakfasts could not hide the fact that you would be a figure of attention, weather you wanted it or not.
You closed your parasol and set it on the ground. Walking with it like a cane.
The stretch of grass continued like the sea beneath you. How big the Ascot grounds were! And people were crowding everywhere all over the grass. Plenty of picnic blankets were already stretched out, a healthy distance away from the stands and the dusty tracks. There were people all around, standing and chatting.
Eventually, you noticed two men. Two familiar voices, though one a little less familiar than the other.
“Here, let’s put the marmalade right here- and I think we’re ready,” you heard Sir Sharpe advise a servant. He nodded as the fellow got out jars from a picnic basket and put it on the red blanket.
His voice. There was something about it that made you falter. It was a rich, creamy baritone that made something inside you shiver. And all he did was talk about food!
Yet, even as attractive as he was, the Baronet was a stranger. You knew very little about him and you were about to enter his title, his house, and his bed-
No, now was not the time to dwell on such matters.
Taking a deep breath, you walked forward, meeting your mother’s brisk pace to greet the men.
Your father perked up as did Thomas, in their typical dark suits and their top hats. Sir Sharpe even lowered his hat and smiled at you in greeting.
“Why, ladies, it is good you both made it in time,” he wished.
All of you sat down, obediently sitting next to your fiancee. Nibbling on sandwiches and fish and fruit. Waving away flies that dared disrupt finery. For that was the true purpose of the race, far more than the horses- to be part of a walking parade of who was the most elegant in London.
“Now, Thomas, how has the clay mining been coming along?” your father asked.
You were sat down next to him. He grinned at your father, his posture relaxing.
“Very excellent, sir. The warmer seasons meant the mining has been smoother,” he reported.
“Hmph, well- that is all good. But, speaking of seasons, where the devil is old Mr and Mrs. Barnes? They never miss as Ascot and I’ve yet to see them!” your father teased.
Turning around, you noticed people turning their heads to watch you. They would pause. Then turn to their neighbor and whisper something in their ear. Men and women, the young and the old. Studying you. Looking at every last speck of marmalade you spread on bread and every crumb you ate.
Suddenly, your stomach was too turned to have cake.
Thomas looked over at you.
“Miss Y/L/N?” he asked.
You leaned closer to him, your shoulders hunching up. You got closer to his ears.
“Everyone- they’re looking at us. Talking about us,” you hissed.
He followed your eyes, scanning and seeing the invisible court displaying their silent judgment. He turned to you.
“I notice them too,” he whispered.
“I’m glad. I’m not going mad and seeing things.” you confided.
“Then, let’s give them something to talk about,” he replied.
He offered his hand outstretched. You accepted it, your bare hand meeting his as he helped you up. He pulled you up as easily as you were air. He then positioned your arm to be wrapped around his.
“I would like to walk with my fiancee, if you don’t mind,” Thomas announced.
“Oh, of course!” your mother replied.
With his top hat on, you retrieved your parasol and opened it for shade. Then you walked on.
Faces turned and a few heads bowed, you returned the gesture.
But you noticed Thomas. His head was high and his chest up. He smiled with a pride not even the most wily gossip could deter. Thomas would look at you and smile, and you would smile back.
He was happy with you, or at least acting like it. And you could not resist a smile with him. And anyone who came up to Thomas, he introduced you as “my charming fiancee, Miss Y/L/N.”
The message was then received. No figure of pity was Miss Y/F/N.
Let them look. Let them see. You would not let the murmurings of strangers make you fret. Thomas seemed perfectly fine and happy with you and you would appear perfectly fine and happy with him. Strolling with him on the grass beneath a sunny day felt natural. Something any ordinary couple would do.
Reaching near the stands, it seemed as people were less interested in the two of you. Crowds more intrigued as to who would win and watching for jockeys and steeds than scandal.
You had to learn more about him. A little by little. You turned over to Sir Sharpe.
“I never hear about your own family. You know everything about mine, but I know nothing of yours. What were they like? Your mother and father?” You asked.
Thomas kept walking forward, you passed the stand for lemonade but you brought no cash to pay for some. Thomas kept his eyes forward as you strolled on past everything.
“My father- his name was James and his wife was Beatrice. He was…an intimidating man. He He wanted me to be like him- taking me with him to work or on hunting trips. He ran a clay mining buisness, but he lost it in an accident. There was…a disaster occured, costing him the mining lives and much of his fortune. We lived over in the countryside, near a small town. I grew up in a large manor house with my sister.”
“What was her name?”
He hesitated.
“Lucille. Lucille Sharpe,” he answered.
“Was she older or younger?”
“Older. We…we lost both of my parents. First my father, and then my mother when I was young. I was sent to boarding school and then reunited with my sister. She fell ill. And never got better. So since then, I have no close family and only distant relations.”
“Oh, Thomas, I am so sorry!” you cired.
His face turned a little white when you turned to face him. He looked down. “I think of them. Lucille, especially. She in many ways was an astounding woman. Intelligent, careful, brave, hard-working...she cared for me. She loved me, in some way, and did so much to help me. And she suffered quite a lot. Especially in her sickness. I could at least make sure her passing was peaceful.”
“Would she have liked me?” you asked.
He paused in his steeps. It was so abrupt, you felt a small jolt.
“No, she wouldn’t have.”
You tilted your head.
“Why?”
He again hesitated.
“She was more…cynical of the world. Life had been hard for her. And for mother. And for me.”
You blinked. He kept his eyes lowered, and began to blink rapidly. At one point, he just squeezed them shut. Part of you felt guilty for pressing it.
“I…I do not wish to discuss it now. Please,” he replied.
You took a step back, releasing from his arm.
“I’m so sorry, Sir Sharpe. I didn’t know it would be-”
“Don’t be,” he replied
His eyes were back open. A small, cold shiver ran down you despite the heat. Then you closed the gap, placing a hesitant hand on his arm in comfort.
“A sibling is like having your closest friend always with you. I was inseparable from Charlotte. And then when she ran away out of nowhere, with no warning…it was like she died. I grieve her still. I cannot imagine what it is like for you.”
He looked up at you. It was as if the crowds never mattered and it was only you both alone around the tracks.
“We have something in common, then. We have both lost sisters,” he pointed.
“We’ll grieve them. But we don’t have to greive them alone. Not anymore,” you assured him.
There was a sudden excitement among people as they scurried over to their seats. You had jumped. How much time had passed?
‘I think it’s best we get our seats, the race is about to begin.” he advised.
It wasn’t long before you found your parents and joined your seats for the races.
But your mind was elsewhere.
You remembered Sir Sharpe’s words. You knew a little bit more about him. He seemed less a stranger and more an acquaintance now. Yet- what happened to make him turn so pale? To not wish to speak? If that made him act like that, then whatever happened with his family…it wasn’t good. At least Lucille seemed interesting…but whatever made her so cynical? To where she would have hated you if you met her alive?
Part of you knew the answer. And it made your heart break for him- he was hurt as a child. His parents were cruel to him and his sister. But he didn’t want to discuss it in such a public area.
You settled into your seats from your tickets with your family. You passed around small opera glasses. Watching and watching for the stampede to pass by. For the hooves and horses and rush of wind to bring you to the present, and not the past of a sad little boy in a big manor frightened of his father.
❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀
It seemed the week swirled by. Now as an engaged woman, there was less pity and gossip.
At least, negative gossip.
Sir Sharpe played the role of a good fiancee in public. Appearing to help escort you around gallatnly and smile at you warmly. Though he was a quiet man, observing everything. Sometimes a loud noise made him seem to want to shrink his tall frame.
You still put in your mind the bits and pieces about him. That he lost parents, the father mistreated him. He even lost a sister he was close to. That he ran a mining business harvesting clay. He was always polite at least and charming at most. You did feel your stomach flutter when he would smile at you.
But at the breakfast and garden parties women flocked to you like puppies. They bombarded you with questions about the wedding. What you would pack. Where you would hold it. If you have picked a dress yet. You had always replied with a demure “Well, I don’t know,” yet. Sometimes you threw in “I am only grateful that Sir Sharpe is a good man,” for good measure. That seemed to please them for now. They would offer their congratulations and hopes for an invitation for the marriage where you would become a lady.
Lady. You would be a capital L Lady. Steps below earls and viscounts, but still among them. You would outrank some of these very women. No wonder they flocked to you- it was good to be an ally to a baronet’s bride, not a foe.
Tonight was finally the ballet. No one would run to you to congratulate you or pepper you with questions you couldn’t answer yet. Not for long. Instead of socializing, you could sit back and watch something long for once.
You were dressed in a lovely gown. It was satin, a deeper, more womanly color of rich, dark blue than the fluff at Ascot. You had long matching gloves and the sleeves were small but showed off your shoulders. You had a train cut into scallops. A soft flounce of tulle extended to your shoulder. Jewels across your bodice tinkling as you moved, the satin touching the floor. None needed to doubt that soon you were going to be a baronet’s wife. You had to look the part one way or another. By far, it was the most expensive of your wardrobe this season and the most beautiful. Now was the time to unleash it.
Your father praised you as a vision as you descended the stairs. “Won’t your baronet be beside himself! Now, go enjoy, my dears,” he wished your mother and you.
You headed to the carriage. London was lovely at this dark hour. There were lights on to contrast with the night’s shadow. The opera house appeared like a temple above any house on the street.
Though there was a crowd of audience members, who should be out on the steps but Thomas Sharpe. He had an opera coat and his classic top hat. He was standing watching other go by.
The carriage stopped and the door on your side was opened.
Sir Sharpe paused and took you in. The coachmen helped you down and your mother after. You felt a little exposed in all this. Self conscious it was too much.
Sir Sharpe then went up to your hand.
“How are you?” you asked.
“I hardly know. I only know that you are radiance itself,” he replied. He took your hand and wrapped it around your arm.
You got warm all over from his voice saying that. Oh, blast him! Blast how he could make you feel so giddy and fighting the urge to giggle like a girl!
You walked up the stairs into the lobby of the theatre. Your shoes touched red carpet and you passed the creamy insides- all marble with vases of flowers and paintings and electric light. Some stared at the Baronet and his Lady, and you let them. Giving them a show as good as any dancer could.
You had your tickets approved and were escorted to your seats. You had a certain box where the three of you had some privacy to sit amongst each other. As you sat on red velvet plush, you rested your gloved hands on the high railing and looked at Thomas. In his tuxedo, his dark curls combed back, he still seemed like every bit of a ladies’ dream.
“Have you ever been to a ballet by Tchaikovsky?” you asked him.
“Oh, no I haven’t. Only concerts of his music,” he replied. But then he smiled. “They’re such lovely pieces, though.”
“Then you’re in for a treat. When there are dancers added to tell the story, it becomes something very special. I saw The Nutcracker two Christmases ago and adored it. Lottie only liked it when the little girl in the ballet hurled a shoe at the mouse king,” you reported.
He let out a light chuckle
“I’m not surprised,” he said.
You sat down with the pamphlet, re-reading the title and the cast list. Your mother was using her opera glass to watch the audience below. You returned to your fiancee.
“The Sleeping Beauty- did you ever like fairy tales when you were little?” you had to ask questions, know a bit more of him.
“Oh, yes, I did,” he replied. “I enjoyed many of them. But I don’t remember them too vividly.”
“What kind of stories did you hear?” you asked.
Thomas leaned forward. His voice quiet.
“Well…ghost stories.” he explained.
You squinted, surprised at his reply.
“Ghost stories!? Isn’t that much for a little child?” you asked.
“Perhaps it was. But that was what was told,” he answered.
One could hear the orchestra warming up. You put a gloved hand on his arm. Thomas didn’t say a peep and the crowd could only mutter. Besides, that always felt a little rude to you. When people lounged about during performances like it was a party and chatted loudly, unappreciative of the artists at work before them!
The conductor arrived to applause and bowed. Then he turned around, lifted his baton, and began the ballet as he lowered it like a magic wand. A spirited introduction blasted, almost making you jump.
The stage curtains parted and dancers entered as the music slowed down with a harp and sweet flutes as the king and queen entered, holding a bundle in their arms.
For those three hours, you were not an adult. You were a child again who could believe in such things. A child who believed fairy tales was what life was like. Complete with pink ribbons, lace, and magic, fairy’s wings, and princess’s crowns. Where flutes and strings surrounded you. Where dancers smiled as they stood up on their toes and leaped like it was as simple as sleeping.
You glanced at Sir Sharpe once when the Lilac Fairy entered. He didn’t whisper to you. You only met his eyes to see he was already looking at you. Something warm crawled up you. You didn’t know if you wanted to touch him or to not be touched by him. Then hearing the sound of feet hit the ground on a leap, you turned back to the stage, hypnotized by what you saw.
It was a world where the politics of society didn’t matter. Scandals were trifles, and sisters didn’t disappear. Where fairies could be met at parties. Where magic would prevent a couple from losing their daughter. A princess may be smiling and full of life- but even when she pricked her finger, she would not have had her life cut short because of forces beyond her control. It was where a cursed princess would be kept safe in a deep slumber. Soft and cozy on her beautiful bed. A world where a prince and a fairy could overcome evil.
When the prince awoke the princess, they knew they were meant for each other. That the one person they waited their entire lives for was right before them. They could marry and not be afraid the choice was wrong. The wedding would be blessed and celebrated with everyone smiling and dancing to sumptuous music.
As it got close to the end, no one wondered if the prince and princess would be miserable in their union or if another wicked fairy would arrive to hurt them or their families or their people. Everyone would be alive, safe, and happy.
If only things were that simple in real life.
You had to remember yourself after the applause. Blinking rapidly, you then squinted your eyes as the house lights came on. You re-emerged from the darkness like Orpheus returning from the Underworld, transformed by what you saw and returned. You then rose to your feet and applauded. You were watching with a heavy heart as the curtains closed and people left their seats. You had to remember that you were you and this was the real world. No magic. No fairies. No princes. Just baronets.
“Here, let me walk you to the carriage.” Thomas offered, giving you his arm.
You held onto him, leaning tight. How easily he was able to pull you through! Despite his leanness, he did have strength!
As you walked down the hall, you clung to your program, making sure you would always have a reminder of tonight.
“What did you think?” your mother asked as she scurried up to you.
“It was…it was incredible,” you replied, your voice suddenly breathy from wonder.
“Well, I was fighting the urge to sleep!” your mother replied.
She stopped both of you in your tracks before you could proceed a step.
“Now, my dear Y/N, we have a wedding to discuss and plan. So I hope you sleep well, ready for some discussion the next morning, won’t you?” she asked.
“I shall.”
But when you went to bed, your mind was torn. Imagining yourself in stories was a way to help you go to sleep, you found. As music from the ballet kept playing in your head, you found yourself split into two characters.
One was a stoic, obedient bride of a wedding out of convenience who would not cause one toe to step in the wrong place or else ruin everything. The other a fairy tale princess protected by fairies who would survive her curse and find true love.
But only one of those was real.
❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀
The next morning, as soon as you woke up and went down for breakfast, your mother stormed you with books. They were journals and catalogues, listing courses and decorations, and options of churches.
All of your parents wanted you all of the time.
“I like these colors,” you pointed out, seeing samples of cloth.
“But no! It’s not in fashion!” your mother cried.
There were invitations to pick. And then trying to decide who to send them to. You had to include family members, sure, as well as the few people Thomas was related to. But there were also father’s business partners, with whom he wanted to share cigars and brandy and business. Then you had to pick who to invite and if they would gossip or appreciate the triumph. But you had to think of Miss So and So or Mrs. So and So who was rumored to do this and that and wouldn’t it be unbecoming if she so much as turned up on the steps of the church and-
A heaviness grew on you. How much did you actually sleep last night?
But then deciding on family members meant your mother got out her boxes of photographs. She had a hobby of familial history and photographs and would lovingly tell you all about them. For one hour. Then two. You were itching to get up, do something productive, but stuck with your mother in her distracted cycle.
The next days passed and you had to select wedding cakes. You wished for a certain cake, but you felt ashamed choosing it since you knew it might not be what everyone wanted. Aunt Jacqueline coudln’t eat it because of her indigestion. That would be rude. But Mr. Linnet, Papa’s buisness partner, had a particular hatred of almond cake. Any and every flavor was wrong. You had to plan a wedding they would not scoff at or think otherwise.
You were running between shops, spending more on ribbon samples than actual ribbons and there was no color everyone was happy with.
As for the wedding gowns, you had visited one boutique and you had tried on so many dresses that it seemed you were going to hallucinate looking at so much white. And no one would all agree on what gown would be the best one. One wasn’t even decided on and you all ate lunch in sour moods.
And that was on top of callers and people coming in and out from the season and trying to keep up with events.
The week was going by in a flurry. Your business tripled. You were certain at every meal and when you sat down, your mother brought out photographs because the invitations made her sentimental and by the second week, you were certain you were hearing her recall the same stories over and over again until you could even predict the cadence of her voice.
The gatherings only tripled. Your parents were always asking you to change this or that, or what do you think of this flower or this color or this ribbon or this food, or here is a picture of this great aunt you barely remember but you must care about, and oh- you have to select what flowers you want for the bouquet and which ones on the reception table and to please start planning your trousseau, Y/N, because you must decide which things you wish to take with you when you move into Sir Sharpe’s home, you must consider what to bring, you really ought to-
The few hours you had to yourself, you wanted to relax. Sew something or read a book or anything…but your mind would not focus, would not settle. And those were the hours when no one called for your presence, word, or help. You felt exhausted, and yet at night sometimes you struggled to go to sleep from how wound up you were.
Your head was spinning one afternoon a week later. At luncheon all everyone would talk about was the wedding as they flittered around with vases of flower examples and ribbons and pictures of cakes and dresses from advertisements. As your mother got out her photograph box. But you could only sit there, drained and silent, and feeling like you were staring into nothing.
You were trying so hard to be everything to them. The good daughter. The virtuous bride. The one who could make everyone happy. One who could have her entire life change at once and endure it with only a stoic smile.The one so glad to help and listen and who knew everything.
As your mother got out a second pile of photographs and began to tell you for the fourth time all about your great grandfather Kenneth and his wife, Bertha, going on a camping trip in nature and getting lost, you had a sudden urge to scream “I’ve already heard this stupid story enough! I don’t care about them!” and rip up the photos before you.
But you swallowed it down, your face hot. Your chest was tight. Ashamed you would even consider wrecking something that made your mother happy? Priceless momentums of your history destroyed in a flash of weakness? Of losing your temper in front of everyone?
Everything got tight, tight and you were getting warmer and warmer. People began to crowd around you. Their chatter swirling around you like the sea and you could not breathe for air.
“Miss Y/L/N-”
‘St. Joseph is a lovely church-”
“What about blue for the-”
“There should be duck with wine sauce and-”
At once you pushed away your seat from everyone. The lump in your throat growing. A dull, heavy ache all over your body. A weight in your head and your mind about to break.
“I-I-I..” you began as they gaped.
You tried to calm yourself. To put the feelings in a box and push it away for a little bit. But still it rumbled on.
“I need a moment!” you claimed. You then turned around, starting to make a brisk walk out of the door.
In walked one maid.
“Oh, we have a visitor!” she announced.
You made no reply and went past her, down the hall, hurrying for your room. Once inside, you locked the door.
Legs trembling, you tried to make it to the bed.
Instead, you collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Finally, alone, you did not have to pretend. Crumpling up into a near fetal position despite your dress, the long-suppressed tears coming out. There was no dignity, no strength. Just the washing of your tears as it ebbed and flowed out of you.
It didn’t make sense. You had a wedding to look forward to, and so much you took for granted. Your future was secured. Your family’s reputation was revived. You had no reason to curl up and sob. Someone would look at you and say you were acting immature, that you were too old for your age to be lying down and crying.
‘That’s what I am. An immature, ungrateful fool,’ you thought.
It made no rational sense. Emotions never made any rational sense.
Despite all this, here you were sobbing. Crying out the exhaustion, the overwhelm. Hot tears sprang out and went to the floor. At this rate, you’d ruin the carpet. Your throat scratchy and your body shaking as each new cry heaved out.
There were footsteps. Then three knocks.
Your mind spun on in its cycle of misery. ‘I even ran away when we had callers. I am the worst. I waste my time. I’m foolish and wasteful. I don’t deserve anything good, I’m so miserable and scared and I hate myself and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me and I hate who I am and I wish I could change that, but I can’t and I-’
The knocks returned.
But you got up and turned. You reminded yourself of how hard it felt. To be back in your body, and not in your head. You turned around.
“Come in,” you croaked out.
Outside was Anne. Your lady’s maid curtsied.
“Sir Sharpe is here. And he wishes to speak to you in private in the parlor and your father consented.”
She reached a hand and helped you up. You wiped off any remaining tears from your eyes.
“Tell him I shall join him soon,” you replied.
Anne nodded and hurried out. You made sure to fix yourself. Your eyes looked a little tired and you dried off any tracks of tears from your cheeks. After checking that your appearance was decent, you followed out to the parlor.
Your parlor had green and white patterned wallpaper and portraits watched your every move as you got inside. Thomas stood. Dressed in his usual black coat, his hat to his side. He looked odd amongst hte ostentatious furniture of red velvet couches. But he bowed to you nonetheless.
No chaperone. No eyes. Only the two of you. One of the blessings of being an engaged couple.
“Would you like me to ring for some tea?” you asked, eyeing the long chord from the ceiling on one corner of the room.
Thomas stepped closer.
“Miss Y/L/N…you’re distraught,” he observed.
Your lips parted but did not make a sound. Then a small string of them came out.
“I…I…I shall be fine, sir-”
“Miss, you do not speak as a content woman. Tell me- what is it?” he asked.
He gestured to the couch to sit next to him. You joined next to him, your hands folded and nervously fidgeting. You noticed you were close to him. His warmth from the dark colors and the smell of his light cologne. You felt your chest heave a little, the words so heavy on your tongue. Eager to come out.
“I’m so sorry…it’s just..everything is changing…” you began.
You looked down at your hands. How close his thighs were next to your skirt. Then you looked up at him. There was a…a gentleness in his face, in his eyes. A softness. He was not judgemental. And if he was, he wasn’t saying anything.
“It’s changing so fast. My sister is gone. I’m going to live in a different house and not see my parents. I’m going to be Lady Sharpe and I don’t know what's going to happen to me after we’re married. I- I want to be married, I always have. Now it’s finally happening.”
Your breath was shallower. The emotions burst up. But Thomas made no change in his gentle expression.
“But it means I have to plan a wedding in a month. And all of the time that I have is taken up on this wedding. No one can agree on anything. I can’t find the right decorations, food, or dress. And everyone asks for me and needs me. They need me to listen to them babble on. And I’m trying so hard to be good, to make everyone happy, and get everything done but I…I…”
The lump in your throat returned. Your eyes felt heavy with tears again. They began to well up in your eyes despite yourself. Right when you thought you were done, that there would be no more, they came again.
“I am just…I… there’s so much to do, I don’t even know where to start. And I…I want to shut it all off, but I can’t. And I’m scared. I’m scared I’ve already ruined everything. Or I’m about to…” you babbled on.
He offered his handkerchief. It was a plain cream with lining.
“Thank you, Sir Sharpe,” you said.
“Thomas, please.” he insisted.
You took it in your hand.
“Thank you, Thomas,” you said.
His lips curled up as he heard your name.
“You can say it. I’m making a big fuss of nothing. That I’m a fool,” you replied.
Thomas shook his head.
“ I’ve met foolish people. You are not one of them,” he answered.
He leaned closer.
“And have you considered that it takes months to plan a wedding? And you are doing it in one. That is Herculean, don’t you think?”
His voice was a whisper.
“If there are any fools, it is your parents,” he teased.
You wiped your face with the handkerchief again. A small smile grew on your face.
“I…I…I suppose”
He offered you his hand and you took it. It was comforting- warm and large and beautiful. You liked it when he offered his hand, you liked touching it, touching him. Something about it always comforted you.
“We will have a wedding. I don’t think it should matter if it is a spectacle or not. What does matter is…is that…”
He began to hesitate. Then he looked up.
“I know you don’t know who I am. Or much about me. Or if you can trust me- but what does matter, Y/N. I will do my best to make sure you are provided for. That you are safe. Content, if not happy. We will make sure our wedding is a fine day. And if it is not, then It will only be one day and then it will be over.”
You felt his thumb trace over your hand. A small little back-and-forth movement, just grazing your skin.
“The wedding- how will I plan it?” you questioned.
“You will choose what you want. And forget them all. You are the bride. You should have a final say. And if anyone disagrees- you can bring them to your husband.”
Swallowing, you lowered your eyes briefly. Timidity overcoming you from all of this for a moment.
“We’re not married yet,” you reminded him.
A light laugh got out of Thomas in an exhale.
“Well…no…”
You looked back up at him.
“Thomas, will you- will you help me with all of this? Speak to them, perhaps? Reason with them? Try to- to help?” you asked.
“Oh, of course.”
You felt yourself breathe out a sigh of relief.
“I’m glad…and yet…Thomas, I confess, I’m scared.”
“I am too.”
He paused. You looked into him and saw fear in his eyes as well. It struck you that of course, he would be feeling the same as you regarding this. Marrying someone he knew partially out of convenience.
“Y/N…you…you do not hate me, do you? Because that is what I fear,” he asked.
You placed another hand over him, leaning closer.
“Oh no! Thomas, you have been nothing but a gentleman. I don’t hate you at all.”
He smiled.
“There. That’s better than a quarter of the marriages here already,” he replied.
Part of you laughed lightly. To think both tears and laughter could be shared in so short of a time with him. That you could release your sorrows and then have cause for sudden bursts of joy.
“ But…we will adjust to it. Everything won’t be horrible. We’ll just become acquainted with each other. Bit by bit. We could be friends,” you replied.
He took your hand and leaned down, pressing another kiss to it gallantly. He then released the hold and reached into his inner coat pocket.
“I have a gift for you. It was going to be a wedding gift, but I was wondering how you were feeling amidst all of this and thought it might cheer you up.”
Perhaps it was something sweet. Or a tiny book? What could be a small, but tasteful and not too expensive gift he could give?
Out came a small box- that is, if “box” could apply. It was a small circular item. Like a lady's powder or dusty blush container. But there was a knob on its side.
“Turn it,” Thomas instructed.
It struck you- it was a music box.
You turned the knob with a small “krrk” sound. The lid opened to reveal tiny, mechanical ballerina spinning on pointe. The chimes crinkled out a tune in three-quarter-time time. It was the Sleeping Beauty waltz.
You gasped. He placed it in your hand to cup it as the ballerina twirled to the music. You saw a crown on her head and a smile on her face, just like the prima from when you saw it.
“Do you like it?” he asked shyly. Something of a blush on his cheeks.
“Thomas! It’s exquisite! Where did you find this?” you asked.
“I made it,” he explained.
You turned around, careful not to drop it.
“You made this?” you asked.
“I did,” he confirmed.
Looking closely, it was so lovingly detailed and crafted, it had to be the work of a person. Not a common souvenir from the theatre.
“You…you make things?” you asked.
“Yes. I have since I was a child. And now I made a machine that harvests clay from all of the times I fiddled with gears. I find lately now I can come up with toys as well, Isn’t it silly?”
“No, not at all! It’s more business! And…you made the machine from the business! It’s- it’s incredible…” you rattled in your excitement.
His hand returned to yours, joining it as the lid of the music box closed.
“Y/N, I know there are concerns, and I may not have the affluence of your family, I promise, you won't be marrying a pauper.”
You looked
“With something like this, I may as well be the richest woman in all of England,” you said.
His smile returned, his posture relaxing.
“I’m glad of it. Should we return to them now?” he asked.
You nodded your head. You got up by his side. You were not afraid of the hordes of things to do and people to meet, not overwhelmed.
“Yes...I’m ready, Thomas.”
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