#even 20 would be great ngl

[solradguy]

So, it looks like the GG manga volumes pretty consistently go for about $40usd each over on eBay.... Once I get the Dengeki PS mag scanned/cleaned and the Overture stories finished, I think I'll open sketch commissions again to kinda help fund picking some of them up to scan.

I still want to finish translating Lightning the Argent before starting any of the manga, but getting at least the raw scans out there would be a start. Maybe someone would beat me to translating it before I got to it, since I can only do so much at once haha I would do them myself after finishing LtA though, if no one else has. Currently my plan is:

Finish the Overture stories (halfway there!!)

Lightning the Argent

Isuka manga/whatever manga I've scanned if I have a physical volume by the time I finish LtA

Butterfly & Her Gale novel?

Whatever random GG thing I dig up after that

[saintedbythestorm]

Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.

[pinkcarsupremacy]

Okay in all the drama of yesterday's race I feel like we overlooked the F1 movie teaser and we need to talk about what the hell was going on in that.

So we start with 60yo racer Brad Pitt telling the audience and uh someone else that their car is beat on the straights by "Red Bull, Ferrari, Mercedes, Aston and now Mclaren" (as an Alpine fan I understand the plight) and that their only chance of beating the other teams is to battle in the turns and I quote "we need to build our car for combat" (never underestimate Americans and their ability to turn something into a war analogy)

After that bizzare statement the following exchange occurs:

Yeah fuck safety!! The FIA is actually involved with the making of this film if you're wondering.

From here on there isn't actually anymore dialogue and it's just a bunch of racing and track team shots set to 'We will Rock You'. It was here that it dawned on me that this movie is gonna be super bizzare. Despite all the noise about them filming on track at live race weekends it never occured to me the other drivers and teams would actually feature in it. I'm not even sure what I thought they were going to do but I assumed it would involve a lot of CGI.

But nope turns out this is actually just a strange self-insert film where an 11th team featuring 60yo Brad Pitt and his younger teammate will compete against real F1 drivers? The $300 million budget is starting to make sense - maybe they had to pay the other drivers a salary. I think one glaring problem with this is that it means there won't be other characters in the movie (excluding team members of the fake team) because the other drivers and team members are uh real people? Now that would be fine if it was a biopic like Rush where everyone are actors but here we have 2 actors and 20 real drivers (who are quite literally at work btw) and any interaction between them and the actors is gonna break the immersion of the film so badly.

Sidenote here's one of the Apex cars abusing a Williams - not the kind of behaviour that endears me to either of the fake drivers ngl. Probably should have picked a more disliked team to clown on.

Now I actually went and read an interview with the 2 directors to try and work out what is going on. At one point in this interview, Jerry Bruckheimer says: "It’s the only sport where your teammate is also your competitor, and that’s great drama in itself. Just think about that; you’re fighting with your own teammate for a place on the podium. And everything we use in the movie actually happened in an F1 race. Nobody can say: ‘That would never happen.’ It happened."

So in other words the teammates will fight and it will be based on real life events? Yeah unfortunately I'm getting Perez and Ocon in Force India vibes from that (those 2 shots pretty similar huh).

There was also this in the interview which is... I mean I don't really know what to take from this but it's certainly interesting. As an Ocon fan this quite literally strikes fear into my heart (why was he of all drivers named...) but we'll have to wait and see I guess.

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup

Summery: Y/n thought it would be fun signing up on dating sites, just for shits and giggles. Who knew that was one of the best decisions they made, especially when they're having too much fun talking to a certain Jason Todd.

warning: swearing, unedited I think, mentions of cancer, fluff, lots of back and forth teasing

word count: 3072

a/n: I promised myself I'd post a fic today, though it's not the one I wanted, I hope you enjoy regardless.

ao3

Series master list

Inspired by this:

September 19

You matched with Jason Todd, say hello!

Y/N So, when you say you're looking for a partner in crime Do you mean, like, rob a bank and fight batman? Or like, cozy up on the couch with the fireplace going while it's raining while we try to finish the books we bought? Cuz, I can do the second one I dont think i could fight batman or any of his kids Or even what to, you know? They’re kind of scary …. well maybe one of them i would fight I say fight but its wont be Oh man, I am so sorry about this. This is not how i wanted to tell you that i am a rambler I’m just gonna see myself out Goodday

Jason Ngl this made me laugh So who would you fight but not really?

Y/N You can’t honestly be interested in who I would fight? No way

Jason Way you seemed interesting and i want to get to know you

Y/N … okay but you need to answer my question first

Jason: Lol fair. And it would be the second one. I too wouldn’t fight batman but for different reasons

Y/N: So you're a fighter?

Jason Nope This isn’t how it works

y/n: Fine but remember, you asked for this

Jason: Okay but it’s not like you have a plan on fighting all the batmans kids so i think im safe

y/n: …….

Jason: Oh shit you do?!

y/n: I plead the fifth

Jason: You just got a little more interesting

y/n: I’m going home

Jason: Damn and here i thought i’d finally found the love of my life

y/n: No, nope Don’t say that The more you talk to me, you’ll find the real me and then want nothing to do with me

Jason: Let me be the judge of that We matched for a reason and i want to find out Don’t you?

Y/n: Aren’t you a charmer Okay fine. 20 questions?

Jason: Sure but after you tell what you would do in a fight with the batfam

y/n: I was hoping you would drop this, damn Alright, you get the honour of telling me who you want to know 

Jason: Nightwing

Y/N: Really? Okay. well first i was thinking of just flirting my way out, but he looks like he’d flirt back and i’m not the best at it to begin with, so I’d just get all flustered Bro’s an acrobat, i aint running from him. I aint running from all of them if i’m being honest. Nah for nightwing, he strikes me as a dork in some way. I’ll talk my way out of it. And if there’s something i’m good at, it’s talking.

Jason: So your plan is to talk circles around him?

Y/N: Yes Once i figure out what type of dork he is, imma talk until he gets confused and then i’ll run away Bro won’t see it coming

Jason: I should tell my brother He’s a huge nightwing fan

y/n: Nooooooooooo No one needs to know i don’t need other people to know how weird i am Especially your family I don't want my first meeting to be ‘hey, you’re that chick that’ll talk nightwing to confusion. Man that was a great laugh’

Jason: You think this will go that far?

Y/N: Honestly? No But i have hope You?

Jason: Ya Anyways, red robin?

Y/N: You skipped red hood

Jason: Saving him for last

Y/N: Fair Hes smart, can’t really talk myself out of that one nor would I flirt He is too young and not my type So i use his weakness

Jason: There’s no way you know that

Y/N: No but I know the dude doesn’t have a regular sleep schedule.

Jason: How do you know that?

Y/N: Back when I worked at a coffee shop, I took his order a few times and watched him down his coffee while it was still hot I asked him once, why? Dude said, and i kid you not ‘sleep is for the week and coffee is god’ Ngl, i laughed and gave him a free coffee just for making my day

Jason: Shit day?

Y/N: Ugh you had no idea. I had two tests that day and a term paper due but i couldn’t get it printed in time so that was late Didn’t help i woke up on the couch, and my body didn’t like that

Jason: You in school?

Y/n: Ya, only two years in but i want it to end

Jason: Not a fan?

Y/N: Eh When did we start playing 20 questions?

Jason: Right, we we suppose to play after you finished your hypotheticals

Y/N: Curses Me and my big mouth Who’s next?

Jason: We’re still on RR

Y/N: Blah right I’ll just bride him with coffee and make a run for it

Jason: The fact that that could actually work is scary Are you sure you’re not a villain?

Y/N: Nope just an engineering student who could fight god with enough coffee and no sleep Honestly, RR’s my spirit animal

Jason: Robin

Y/N: Are you nuts? I’d turn myself in and then some ain’t no way i’m coming up with a plan for him He scares me

Jason: Why?

Y/N: I watched him fight a few times The dude has enough skill and rage to fight the justice league if need be I bet he could kill too He looks like it

Jason: Okay you're not wrong But if you had to come up with a plan, what would it be?

Y/N: Cannot believe you’re making me do this Fine Little dude may have a hard exterior, but years of reading and knowing people like him, he has a soft spot and use that against him

Jason: Do you know what that is?

Y/N: … I am going to die If robin finds this, I am dying by either embarrassment or by his hands

Jason: Come on, you gotta tell me I’m at the edge of my seat here

Y/N: Fine, but if i’m going down I’m taking you with me

Jason: But we’ve only just met

Y/N: Maybe so, but I actually like you But i’m starting to doubt

Jason: Aw come on, little bird

Y/N: Damnit I happened to be walking home and watched him sit in an alley playing with cats Must have been a slow night, he was there for hours

Jason: It was the little bird wasn’t it?

Y/N: So who’s next? Spoiler? Batgirl? The signal? Red hood? Oracle? Well, I wouldn’t fight Oracle, I don’t know who they are but I know they would win so I’m going to stay clear of them No, you know what? I can tell you my answer for all three of them I’d bribe them with cookies or something. Idk if they would take it but that’s my plan. Just straight up bribery. Who could resist cookies?

Jason: That’s your answer to everything huh?

Y/n: Yup

Jason: Even with RH?

Y/n: … He’s different

Jason: How so?

Y/N: Mm, okay but your not allowed to judge Or laugh

Jason: Should I be scared?

Y/N: Depends Anyways, i have a crush on him So I would shoot my shot and if i get turned down then at least I tried

Jason: You have a crush on Red Hood? Out of everyone there is, why him?

Y/N: You’re judging! You said you wouldn’t

Jason: I didn’t say shit Now tell me why him?

Y/N: Hell if I know But have you seen him?

Jason: I have but you don’t even see his face

Y/N: That just adds to the mystic that is Red Hood I just know he’s got a good looking face underneath the mask

Jason: You really are something else

Y/N: Sorry I’m a big fan of RH And I guess I like the thought of a mystery So if you want to end this now, I understand

Jason: Who said anything about ending this?

Y/N: Don’t know, a lot of people who seem interested in me kind of leave after they find out Either they don’t want to compete with a crush that I know have zero chance at or they just don’t like red hood and being with a fan isn’t something they want

Jason: They’re stupid I ain’t leaving for that And who knows, maybe you can shoot your shot one day

Y/N: HA That’s not going to happen I freeze up when I’m near someone I like I’d probably stutter and say something embarrassing and run away No thank you

Jason: Thought it out huh

Y/N: You have no idea Anyways, 20 questions?

Jason: I did promise You can ask a couple?

Y/N: Favourite colour?

Jason: Really? After what I did to you, your going to ask something simple

Y/N: Answer the question Jason

Jason: Green

Y/N: Thank you Favourite food?

Jason: What’s with the easy questions? Give me some hard hitting personal ones

Y/N: I will in time Now, answers please

Jason: Chili dogs

Y/N: Those things are gross

Jason: Hey, they are the pinnacle of street food You just have to find the right places

Y/N: Mmkay, if you say so

Jason: Alright, gonna have to take you to one of my favourite places

Y/N: That right?

Jason: Only way to convince you Where do you go to school?

Y/N: Looking forward to it Gotham University, you?

Jason: Not yet, but trying to Kind of hard when you were declared dead for a while

Y/N: Fucking what?! Gonna need that story

Jason: Nope, gotta reach at least level 10 in friendship to unlock it

YN: Damnit

Jason: Sorry little bird

Y/N: You didn’t need to say it so casually tho Who just mentions, ‘yeah i’ve been declared dead but haven’t done anything’ into a conversation And not elaborate on it This is bullshit, sir

Jason: It has happened to people

Y/N: Yeah, but they tell people why You just Dropped a bomb like that and say, not yet Whatever, i’ll drop it

Jason: You sure? Sounds like it’ll bother you until you get the story

Y/N: Yes I’m sure Yes it will bother me But like I said, I like you and I don’t want to be pushy I’m not a pushy person

Jason: Awe does someone have a wittle crush

Y/N: No You got nothing on RH

Jason: Now that just hurts, little bird

Y/N: Don’t you have a question you need to ask?

Jason: Are you flustered? I feel like you’re flustered

Y/N: Amazing weather we’re having Despite the rain and all

Jason: Alright, I’ll stop with the teasing For now Born in Gotham?

Y/N: No I am from Metropolis, moved here for school

Jason: Any other reason?

Y/N: Yeah, Superman kept destroying my apartment building I’ve moved three times and somehow, he always finds the building I’m living in Minute I graduated high school, I moved

Jason: But why Gotham?

Y/N: Gotham intrigues me

Jason: You’re so weird

Y/N: Thank you Since you’re not in school, what do you do?

Jason: Mechanic Didn’t really want my dad’s help so I’m finding my way in life

Y/N: Not a great relationship?

Jason: You can say that So, engineering huh?

Y/N: Yup I love building and taking things apart Have since I was little

Jason: Gonna change the world?

Y/N: Imma try but can’t really do that while working at luthor corp

Jason: Please tell me your joking

Y/N: Ah, not a fan I see Can’t blame you but I am not It was one of the first places I’ve applied to and hear back right away I accepted before getting my other interviews

Jason: jumped the gun a bit 

Y/N: Yeah I did. I wished I didn’t but oh well I’ll find something better if this doesn’t work out

Jason: Why don’t you quit now?

Y/N: I am a broke college student who needs money If I quit now, I’m not sure if I find someone to take me Plus the hours working there are helping my schooling, so it’s kinda late to switch jobs

Jason: Can’t believe I’m saying this but try wanye enterprise I hear they’re good to work for

Y/n: I plan too eventually But at the moment, this is fine The hours I have now works with my school hours

Jason: How’s working there anyways?

Y/N: Not too bad I guess I’m allowed to work on my own projects as long as I work on the assigned ones The people are nice and all but it could be better

Jason: But you don’t like it there?

Y/N: I don’t like Lex Luthor and what he represents I guess

Jason: So you believe that he’s trying to take down superman?

Y/N: I’ve seen one of their fights Nothing to believe

Jason: Must of been some fight

Y/N: Mm So What did you mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this?

Jason: You can’t be weird about it

Y/N: Oh? I am intrigued

Jason: You’re making it weird

Y/N: I am not It’s not like I said you have a crush on Bruce Wayne or something That would have been weird

Jason: Is this how you felt when I teased you?

Y/N: Paybacks a bitch isn’t it?

Jason: I hate you

Y/N: Okay

Jason: I do

Y/N: You’re deflecting

Jason: Oh my god Fine He’s my dad, well adoptive dad

Y/N: Cool

Jason: That’s it? You’re not going to fawn over him being my dad? Ask me questions about what he’s like? Ask if the tabloids are true?

Y/N: Nope Tbh, I don’t care for Bruce Like, I applaud him for what he’s trying to do for Gotham and all But, seeing him on every magazine everywhere I go gets a bit tiring He’s just another dude that people are obsessed with Who cares if he’s rich Besides, I’m talking to you aren’t I? Who cares about Bruce Wayne I wanna know Jason Todd

Jason: You know? I think I may actually be in love 

Y/N: Stooooooop You can’t say things like that

Jason Why? Cuz you get flustered so easily?

Y/N And if I do?

Jason Gotta say it’s my favourite past time

Y/N So, the reason you don’t have a great relationship with Bruce Does it have anything to do with you being dead or something?

Jason Wow WOW I cannot believe you We go from what's your favourites to hard hitting questions huh? I see how it is

Y/N I told you they were coming

Jason I just didn’t think you’d use it as a deflection tactic

Y/N Yeah I want to say sorry But I’m not I’m sure you would use anything to get attention from yourself

Jason Can’t do positive attention

Y/N Eh

Jason I hear you And yes it is part of the reason why me and Bruce are not in good terms

Y/N Mm, I’m sure he’s trying

Jason In his own Bruce way yeah

Y/N Are you?

Jason I like to believe I am Why the interest?

Y/N I don’t know Maybe it’s the fact that my relationship with my dad isn’t the best

Jason You’re dad’s not Bruce Wayne’s too?

Y/N HA Then I would not be talking to you in this fashion

Jason That is true So then what?

Y/N My mom says we are too similar to each other Got the same attitude and all I believe it Growing up, it was all your useless and you’ll amount to nothing Or he’ll ignore me, and I’d prefer that over the degrading Only time he’d show his affection was if he was drunk

Jason Wow Sorry 

Y/N Yeah It’s gotten better since I moved out Now it’s there, and I’m still processing 

Jason Processing what?

Y/N Mm It’s a pretty heavy topic to get into with someone you just met

Jason Can’t be worse than me being dead for months

Y/N Months?! How many?

Jason Oh damn You are a lot easier to talk with then who I normally socialize with

Y/N I shall take that as a complement

Jason As you should And no, I will not be elaborating 

Y/N Alright fair But I will get the story

Jason Mm, I’m sure you will So? Gonna answer my question

Y/N Last year he was diagnosed with cancer Not sure what it is, but it already spread

Jason How long did the doctors give him?

Y/N He didn’t want to know Can’t blame him for 

Jason Sorry about that

Y/N Yeah

Jason You don’t sound to hurt about it

Y/N Like I said, still processing it so I don’t know how to feel With the childhood I had, I don’t know how too But I know when it comes down to it, my emotions will hit me like a truck when the day comes

Jason Well, soak up as much time as you can before you have any regrets

Y/N Trying to He is just making it impossible Whoo boy! That was a lot of emotion for one night I think I’m going to eat some ice cream and binge watch my favourite show

Jason Sounds fun, wish I could join but I promised my brothers with help

Y/N How many do you have?

Jason Do you read anything about the Wayne family?

Y/N Nope What I know about him is what is whispered between my classes and work and even then I don’t listen to them

Jason Really committed on not caring about him, huh Four brothers and three sisters

Y/N Big family

Jason Bruce likes to adopt

Y/N I can tell Anyways, have fun tonight

Jason I’ll try Would you be interested in talking some more?

Y/N I would love to

[ellieromanov]

Moments in between

Pairings: Natasha x reader

Word count: 3k

Genre: angst

Warnings: toxic relationships (toxic Nat) manipulation, brief Smut

(Ngl, This wasn’t my best work, don’t love it but I needed to post something lol)

Y/n’s point of view

Natty❤️

Hey, the mission was canceled, I'll be home around 7-7:30 give or take. So I'll see you soon! Btw I'm starving! xx

Me

That's great! I can't wait!! I'll have dinner ready! Love you!!! xx

Despite her lack of response, I immediately set to work, tidying the house so she wouldn't have to worry about it when she returned.

By 6:20, dinner was in progress—her favorite, a small effort to make our evening special. As it cooked, I chose a cute dress, styled my hair, and applied makeup. Nights like these were extremely rare lately, and Nat and I were feeling the strain so I might as well put details into the little things when I can.

She's always busy with work, I mean of course she is, she's an avenger. But when I go weeks at a time without seeing her it gets hard. It feels like half the time shes avoiding being around me. It feels like she often looks for extra tasks. It might all be in my head but I mean Hell I can't even remember the last time we ate and had a conversation together, so I want tonight to be perfect.

As the clock ticked past 7:20, dinner sat ready on the stove, the aroma of her favorite dish filling the air. I hesitated, torn between plating her food or waiting for her call. At 7:40, I finally dialed her number, but the call went unanswered, sending me straight to  voicemail. I decided to wait before serving the meal, hoping it wouldn't lose its warmth.

8:00 nothing, she hasn't called back or texted. But that's alright maybe she needed to get a few things done.

8:30 nothing. Maybe traffic?

9:00 nothing. Maybe there was an emergency

9:30 not a word. Something probably came up.

By 10:00 I gave up. I put away the left overs and cleaned up the kitchen. I put Natasha's plate in the fridge, turned off the music and blew out the candles.

In the bathroom, I unwound my efforts, removing my makeup and undoing my hair before stepping into the shower.

I went to sleep alone that night. Natasha finally came home just past 2 in the morning. Her footsteps were loud enough to wake me up. Though I heard her entrance, I chose not to acknowledge her. She joined me in bed, and when she realized I was awake she wrapped her arms around me and whispered apologies and showered kisses on my bare shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled between kisses. She kissed from my cheek to my neck, then finally my collarbone. "Let me make it up to you gorgeous."

When she kissed my lips I could taste the whiskey on her.

I remained silent, unsure whether to accept her apologies or express the disappointment that lingered. Natasha's tender kisses continued, and her warmth beside me begged for acknowledgment.

I didn't say anything. "Please baby, let me make you feel good, let me make it better." She pleaded as she sucked marks into my neck. I was so overwhelmed with emotions and I was mad and disappointed but I couldn't convey any of my feelings. I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head as tears started to stream down my cheeks. I don't know why I was crying but I couldn't help it. Once the tears started they couldn't stop. Natasha got on top of me, straddling my hips as she kissed my neck. I just wrapped my arms around her and buried my hands in her hair as I cried.

"I promise to make it up to you." She whispered for the hundredth time as she kissed my bare skin. She took my hoodie off first then went lower, leaving her trail of marks as she went.

Moments later I was completely bare under her and had no control. I know if I told her to stop she would. I know that. But then what. We'd fight and she'd sleep in the guest room? I just want things to go back to the way they were.

With every thrust I just held onto her tighter and closed my eyes to stop the tears and try to enjoy the moment with her but there was no enjoyment to be found.

Just tell her to stop.

Tell her later.

Tell her you're tired.

I didn't say anything. I tried to react as much as I could when she wanted me too. Gasped when she went faster, moaned when she did something different, just keep her satisfied.

"God baby, you're so fucking perfect." She grunted.

Just nod.

"Such a good girl"

React.

"I love your tight little pussy so much. I love you, so much detka"

Tell her you love her.

...

She eventually got the release she was looking for and went to sleep not long after. But I couldn't. I stayed awake next to her and cried. I curled up in a ball with me knees tucked under my chin and cried. My whole body was shaking from my silent sobs. It wasn't that she touched me, it wasn't that she didn't show up for dinner, it wasn't that she didn't take care of me, it was the fact that things used to be different. It was the realization that I was losing her.

She used to get home from missions early to come home and cook with me, we'd dance in the kitchen together and we'd laugh until we couldn't breath and it physically hurt, we used to talk for hours on end, we used play games together and watch movies, we used to make love, and we used to read, and paint, play music, go on walks, we used to do everything together. Because we loved each other...

But now... I don't think she loves me anymore. She doesn't look at me the same. She used to look at me like I was the only girl in the world, but she doesn't have that same spark in her eyes anymore. She doesn't talk to me anymore, she doesn't watch movies with me, or go on walks. Let alone laugh or dance with me. I haven't heard her say she loves me before tonight in months. I think she's done with me...

When I was younger I remember thinking that I'd refuse to stay with someone who doesn't see me for all my worth. How naïve.

_____

When the sun came up in the morning I was alone again. She left without a goodbye, without a kiss on top of my head, without a touch. without a simple acknowledgment.

When I went to the bathroom to shower I saw how red and puffy my eyes were from crying last night. Seeing myself like that confirmed my thoughts that Natasha was in fact done with me. No loving caring partner would let this happen. They wouldn't let their person cry themselves to sleep after an intimate moment. They wouldn't miss a dinner after saying they would be there and they wouldn't use sex as a way to make it up to them. That's not how a healthy functioning relationship works. It's just not.

That afternoon so many thoughts ran through my head, because even though she didn't love me anymore, I loved her with all I had. And if she didn't want me to leave then I wouldn't, I'd stay and I'd give her my entire being until I had nothing left to give and even then I'd stay. I'd stay because I'd have no where else to go, I'd have no one. I'd have nothing. And Id always love her.

I texted her that afternoon asking to talk when she got home.

Me

I Hope you are having a good day. I want to talk to you when you get home if that's okay. Stay safe.

I love you.

She didn't respond, she never does.

As the hours passed by I distracted myself with cleaning, cooking, painting and reading, and with each activity my concern only grew. the sun set and the only thing that brought light to the apartment was the television.

when 10 o'clock passed by I started crying again. I wondered if tonight would be another night on my own or if she'd decide to come home at some point. My heart felt heavy with anxiety and mourning. I wish I had never made the realization that she was moving on from me, I wish that I could have stayed in my denial.

The more minutes that went by the more tears I shed. I tried calling her and I tried texting her, but every message went unanswered. I tried to check her location but she turned it off. I finally had enough and decided to text the one person who always knew of Natasha's whereabouts.

Me

Hey Barton. It's Y/n, I don't know if you had my number saved. I was just texting to ask if Natasha was still at the compound?  Or if she was sent on a mission. She stopped sharing her location with me and won't respond to any of my text. I'm just starting to get worried so if you could just let me know that would be great.

It didn't take him long to respond.

Clint 🏹

Hey Y/n. Natasha went out with Maria and a few other agents. They said they were just going out for a quick drink. Is she not responding to your calls either?

Me

She hasn't responded to anything, text or call. Thanks for letting me know.

Clint🏹

Do you want me to try calling her? Try to knock some since into her?

Me

If you could try calling her I'd really appreciate it. I Just want to make sure she's okay. If she answers tell her I need to talk to her.

Clint🏹

Of course Y/n. I'll let you know if she picks up. If not I'll call Maria.

Me

Thank you Clint, I really appreciate it.

As I sat on the sofa with tear stained cheeks I finally got a message from Natasha.

Natty❤️

What?

Me

Are you serious?

Natty❤️

What do you mean am I serious?

Me

I've been trying to call you and text you for the past four hours Natasha.

Natty❤️

I'm sorry. I didn't see them.

Me

but when Barton is the one who's calling all the sudden you see it.

It took her a few minutes to respond to the message. The text bubbles kept disappearing and appearing again. But Finally she responds.

Natty❤️

I'm sorry. You're right, I should have answered you, I've just been busy. Is everything okay?

Me

Im just hurting. I really want you to come home to me Natasha.

Please just come home.

When the text bubbles disappeared my heart sank even more. I couldn't help the sobs and whimpers as I curled up on the couch.

_____

Natasha's point of view

The bar was dimly lit, filled with the low hum of conversations and the clinking of glasses. I sat at a corner table, nursing a drink that I ordered half an hour ago. I stare off as I half-listen to Maria rant about her latest assignment from Fury. But truth be told, my mind was elsewhere,  the guilt sitting in.

I glance down at my phone for every new string of unanswered messages and missed calls from Y/n. I continue to Ignore them as they keep poring in. I take another sip of the aged whiskey, as I try to participate in the conversation and ignore my buzzing phone. Finally, well past midnight, I decide to head home, my mind clouded with the alcohol's numbness. The walk through the Crisp winter air helped me sober up and cleared my head as I walked.

Finally getting to our townhouse I unlock and open the door. As I climb the stairs to the main floor I notice the lights are off so I simply assume she has gone off to bed. Perfect, that means no fighting. But when I reach the final step leading to the living room I find Y/n on the couch, tear-stained and defeated, wrapped up in a blanket, half asleep. I walk towards her, every step echoing in the stillness of our home.

I wordlessly scoop her up into my arms, I can see the hurt on her face as I hold her against me. She wakes up enough to wrap her arms around me as I take her to our room.

"I'm tired Tasha." She mumbles against my neck, she's hardly audible but I could hear her. "I know. I'm here now, we can sleep." I tell her as we enter our room.

I Gently place Y/n on the bed, I couldn't meet her eyes. There was a weariness in her voice as she again murmured, "No, Nat. I'm tired." I couldn't help the sigh that escaped me as I replied, "Just go to sleep, Y/n." The weight of my own exhaustion mingled with the my guilt.

I walk off to the closet to change into comfortable clothes and when I walk back to the bed Y/n is sat crisscrossed in her oversized hoodie with tears streaming down her face again. a knot of frustration tightened in me.

"Y/n stop it. It's late. I'm not dealing with this right now."  I sigh as I pinch the bridge of my nose, my impatience slipping into my tone. But then she looks at me. "No Nat. Im so tired, im tired of being so lonely..." her voice shakes. "I miss you so much. Is it to much to ask you come back to me at the end of a day? I'm hurting so much." She stifles her cry.

I sit next to her and grab her hands. "Baby please. Let's not do this right now. We are both tired so can we please go to sleep and talk about this tomorrow?" I try to negotiate with her.

"No because I might not see you tomorrow, I hardly ever see you anymore Natasha, that's the problem. The past few months you haven't been here... you'd rather stay out till god who knows how late rather then to come home to me..." she pauses for a moment before beginning again. "Natasha I love you so much. And I want you to be happy. So I need to know now. Do you still want to be here?-"

"of course I still want-"

"No Nat, let me speak. I Will not be the reason you are unhappy. I won't, I won't do that. I will not be the reason you miss out on the life you are wanting so I need to now right now. If you are done I need you to tell me- because I can't let go of you by myself, I love you to much to willingly walk away, so I need to hear you say it. If it's time for me to let you go I need you to tell me that, i need you to tell me to let you go. You have to do that for me..."

As she spoke something finally registered with me, something I've known for a long time but never wanted to admit. Y/n has always been a backup plan for me. If any aspect of my life were to go south I could always come back home and she'd be here waiting. She's a safety net, a lifeline, she's the plan B. And I don't want to let that go. If I let her go then that means I have no one to fall back on.

She deserves so much more then me, she deserves someone worthy of her, to give her love and affection, and someone who will show up for her when she cooks dinner, and be there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I know this. I've always known.

She will always be second in my life, she'll be second to my career, to my wants and needs. But that selfish part of me won't let her go. I won't let her go even though I know it's time.

As the room hung in silence, Y/n's  tear-streaked eyes searched mine for a response. For an acknowledgment. The tension between us only thickened. Her eyes begging for an answer of some sort.

"I..." The words lingered on my tongue. My gaze dropped to the floor, avoiding her pleading eyes. I know it's selfish, I know I should do what's best for her because I do want to see her happy but I can't loose her.

"I can't let you leave, Y/n..." I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. Y/n's eyes glistened with a mix of relief and sorrow. She heard the words she was hoping for, but I could tell she was hoping for more. For an expression of love and need, she wanted to feel the truth of my words but she couldn't find any. But I will say what I need to to make sure she doesn't leave. If she needs to hear me say I love her then I will tell her every day, if she needs to hear me say I need her, then I won't stop telling her until she gets sick of it. It's all about playing the right cards.

"I know I haven't been here for you as I should be, I'm sorry you felt neglected, but I need you to know how much I need you, and want you. I can't do this without you."

A heavy silence settled between us as the gravity of my decision sunk in. Y/n, still wrapped in the blanket of my selfishness. she clung to the hope that things might change, that our love will come back.

I reached out, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair from her tear-stained face as an attempt to comfort her. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Her eyes have always been a beauty. Pools of color I could always get lost in. I hold both sides of her face and wipe away the tears.

"I love you. I need you to stop doubting me. Do you understand?" I ask. She only nods and leans further into my hands. "Good girl. Now Can we keep talking in the morning? You're exhausted." She again only nods her head. I lean in to kiss her forehead before getting up to my side of the bed.

We get under the covers and it takes no time at all before Y/n is pressed against me, I instinctively wrap my arms around her.

When we first met, I really did love her, or the closest thing to love I could feel. She used to make me laugh and smile, she made me feel comforted, she made me feel safe. I don't know when that stopped. I just hope the feeling might come back if I put in the effort.

As my thoughts continue to race, she eventually falls asleep. She sniffles and whimpers in her sleep, just like she has been these last few months. Even in her sleep she can't seem to catch a break. My heart is heavy, I know I don't love her as I should. I just don't know what I'm meant to do. I was never made to love. It's not apart of my nature. I'll continue to be selfish and hold on to her as a life line for as long as I can. Maybe one day she'll be strong enough to walk away by herself.

[amyispxnk]

My Kind of Woman

Chapter 2: What he needs.

Series Masterlist || Previous Chapter

Series summary - Your song captivates Joel the second he hears you that night in Jackson, but he struggles to work up the courage to confess his feelings. With some (very heavy) encouragement from Ellie and Tommy, you two get closer and closer until he finally thinks he’s ready.

Chapter summary - The two of you make plans, Joel thinks about his past and how far he’s come in these 20 years.

A/N: Ngl Joel is falling really hard for reader, I didn’t plan on making him this head over heels for her but oh well.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: alcohol, light language, fluff, ANGST (sarah bby 🙁), mention of grief and losing a child, very brief mention of childbirth (not graphic)

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

The next time you saw Joel was another night you were singing at the bar, having just finished up, face flushed as you looked around for somewhere to sit and have a drink you desperately needed. You’d been taking dozens of requests for close to an hour after only expecting to be singing 2 or 3 songs, not that you really minded. You loved being able to make people smile, even with something as small as a song. Anything that could make someone feel a little happier was considered a great victory these days.

You spotted Joel, he was alone this time, and went over to him after grabbing your drink, sliding into the booth across from him.

He still wasn’t completely used to just talking with you, always finding himself getting nervous as you approached, getting even more nervous when you started hugging him as a greeting, feeling that panic again when you’d start talking about your day but all he could do was get lost in your beauty as the words went in one ear and out the other (one time, you were looking at him for a good ten seconds before he realised that you were waiting for a response from him and he actually went red with embarrassment, coughing and turning away as he muttered a reply).

You were so positive all the time though, never calling him out on his clear social awkwardness and never getting frustrated with him. It wasn’t a suffocating kind of optimism, though, it was just a nice change of pace having someone who could just talk and smile and laugh no matter what was going on. He wished it was that easy for him.

Immediately, you started talking about your day with him, asking what he did, giggling a little when he told you that he ‘spent half the damn mornin’ cleanin’ horse shit with Tommy because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and decided to drag me into it when his wife punished him’, and eventually asking him about something he didn’t realise you knew about.

“So.. Ellie tells me you play guitar.” You mused as you traced over the rim of your glass, looking up at him with a small smile.

“I do.” He confirms, brows furrowing a little as he wonders where you’re going with this.

“She also says you’re very good at it,” you say, which makes him a little more hopeful, “so I was wondering if maybe you’d consider playing with me sometime?”

You motion to the stage with your hand and his eyes go wide. He didn’t do that kind of thing. Performing. Prancing around, smiling and grinning so wide it made his jaw ache, all for a few claps and cheers from an almost totally drunken crowd. It wasn’t his thing. Even if he knew how happy it would make you if he said yes, he just preferred watching you do it.

“I um- Not up there.” He coughs, and you don’t look all that surprised, or upset. Maybe you knew it was a bit of a stretch to ask that of him.

“Okay, then.. How about you play for me, then? Just us, not in front of anyone else. I’m sure you’re a great musician.” You suggest with a smile, looking up at him a little more hopefully.

And, honestly, how could he deny you? Although his mind was going at a million miles an hour right now because how in god’s name would he be able to control himself alone with you?! ..he knew this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

“Yeah. That sounds good, sweetheart. When would you be free for it, then?” He says, thankful he could actually find his voice in that moment. You look at him for another second as your cheeks slowly go red again and you smile, the term always having that effect on you no matter how many times he uses it with you, before you tell him that you’d be free on Friday evening.

After finalising the plans and finishing your drinks, he finds a new surge of bravery course through him and asks if you’d like him to walk you home.

“Oh, yes! That sounds great.” You smile, and the two of you walk out of the Tipsy Bison.

You sigh when the doors close behind you, loving the feel of the cool air on your face and that comforting silence of the night all around you, a stark contrast to the inside of the bar, as the two of you start heading to your place.

He takes it upon himself to start some conversation after the first few minutes of.. not awkward, but not the most pleasant, silence goes by between the two of you.

“I actually wanted to be in a band, growing up.” He says, mumbling a little at the end as he finds himself getting nervous again.

“Oh yeah?” You grin, and he finds it puts him at ease.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Actually, I- I was plannin’ on trying to take it further, go to some auditions and shit when I left highschool.” He laughs, thinking about how funny it would’ve been if that had actually worked out and he spent his early years touring around America with some folk band.

Then he remembers why it didn’t work out. How, when he was only 18, he got a girl pregnant, and then that dream, along with basically all of his other ones, withered away.

Despite the unfortunate circumstances, he never backed down. Never got angry, or tried to find a way out of the situation he had put himself in. He took care of the girl as best he could - despite her wanting almost nothing to do with him and cursing him for knocking her up - and waited outside of the delivery room for hours as his babygirl was born, since the mother didn’t even want him in there with her.

After the first three hours went by, she eventually let him in just so she could squeeze his hand so hard he swore his skin was ripping.

She never really hated Joel, she just hated what he did to her, and hated what became of it. How could she hate him though, when he had stayed and treated her as best he could during the entire pregnancy? He took accountability, helped her afford bills, accompanied her to appointments.. It certainly went better than things normally did in these kinds of situations.

After Sarah was born, things got even more complicated, and he ended up a single father at 19 years old.

It was hard raising Sarah, but he loved her with his entire heart, and when he lost her he felt like he lost himself completely.

Then he met Ellie, and she saved him. She was his second chance. It almost felt like Sarah was there too, like she had sent Ellie to Joel so he could change for the better. In truth, he really did. Despite the grey area with things like Salt Lake, he left the cold, ruthless, murdering part of himself behind when he saved her from that hospital, when he came back to Jackson, and eventually when he met you. You didn’t know it yet, but you were the only other thing he had to look forward to after a hard day, a smile from you when you caught his eye up on stage his favourite way to ignore his problems.

“Joel?” Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, a gentle hand on his shoulder bringing him back to earth. “Are you okay? You zoned out a little there.” You murmur, looking at him with concern in your eyes. He hadn’t realised his eyes had gotten misty as he thought of his daughter, of everything that had happened. Maybe one day he’d tell you too, if you ever got that close.

He clears his throat, nodding and sniffing a little. “All good, sorry sweetheart.”

“You sure?” You press, and he nods.

You offer him a small smile before stopping, and he looks up to realise that you’re at your house.

He’s never really looked at your house before, he realises as he stands at the edge of the property with you. It suits you, he thinks. Cute little flower pots on the windowsill, a smiley-face painted onto the mailbox by your name, purple curtains that are drawn on the inside.

Her favourite colour was purple.

“Well, this is me. Thanks for the walk, Joel, I’m really excited to see you on Friday.” You say, preventing his mind from wandering any further, hugging him tightly before he says goodbye to you and you walk up to your front door, giving him another small wave before going inside. He watches the door close before letting out a deep exhale and turning to go back to his own place.

He spends the evening on his back porch, strumming at the guitar quietly as he thinks of his daughter. Music always felt like a kind of therapy for him, whenever his thoughts got too loud and worrying like this, he’d just let the instrument take over his mind. It was like second nature as he played the chords, stringing them together to form songs from another time, and it helped to take his mind off of things. It was definitely a better distraction than what he used to do, pure anger being his most prominent emotion from the grief, violence being the only solution back then in his mind.

He now believes that he is almost at that stage of complete acceptance, finally being able to just sit down with his thoughts, breathe, and try to process things, now that he was in Jackson. It was safe here, he had Ellie - even though he was always wondering what would happen if she found out about Salt Lake in the back of his mind - he found Tommy, and there was a community he had a home in.

It felt strange to say that he had a home in the apocalypse. The places he stayed at just felt like houses to him. Buildings where you had a place to sleep and keep your shit - that’s what they had been to him after the outbreak happened. None of them ever felt like home. How could he have a home, when the one thing he’d look forward to coming back home to at the end of a long day, was buried in the cold ground?

As he mulls over his thoughts, letting the notes from his guitar flow freely through the air, he realises that this is now his home. With Ellie, with his guitars and his woodworking room, his bed and the framed photos that hang on his walls, his coffee machine, his brother down the street, with you and the sound of your voice being the thing he plays in his mind before going to sleep.

Now, he thinks he wants more than just your voice rattling throughout his skull. He wants you. Completely. Always. Everywhere, every day. He wants to wake up beside you in the early morning, drink coffee in the kitchen with you as you talk about your plans for the day ahead, come back home to the sight of you on the couch at midday, play guitar for you in the afternoon, take you to his bed at dusk, fall asleep with you in his arms at night, and do the same thing on repeat until his final day on this planet. He needs that in his life.

He didn’t think he’d be able to completely rest until he had you.

Thank you SM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated 💞

Next Chapter

[sebfreak]

Tbh I´m a little bit sad that they didn´t add this tiny little scene into the anime while Maomao was talking with Jinshi and explaining to him how she sees her bilogical father. Because this scene was for me very interesting. Maomao as a child or more like from her point of view saw things differently and it was indeed traumatizing when Lakan came to her and said to her she should call him dad. (also i just wanted to see how grandma was hitting him sorry not sorry XD but come on this was funny in the manga okay? but maybe they didn´t add because in the episode before that grandma hit him. but hmm... if you read the manga you´ll know what i mean.) But okay, I think without it they managed to give all people the answer to their question why she dislikes her biological father. And although Gaoshun said that "no father wants to be disliked", I think it´s only up to Maomao whether she accepts him or not. The same goes for her mother too. Oh I really liked btw how she pointed out that her mother could have taken contraceptives but she didn´t chose to and so the strategist was tricked in the end. "Women are scary" yeah I mean... Maomao knows indeed a lot and did see a lot of characters in the red light district so she has every right to say it like that. But yeah getting kids can either save the woman or punish her. I know it sounds very rough if i say it like that, but this is the life they have.

Her dancing was indeed very beautiful she kept her promise although the person couldn´t see it. But at least Jinshi saw it. ahaha loved their interaction so much and him freaking out because of her wound is the best. XD Jinshi has the best faces ngl.

XDDD Ahahaha the scene was indeed very misleading ... right? RIGHT???? I have to be honest, even I was holding my breath but nonononono she just wants to have the ox bezoar. :D (at the moment *cough* but that´s another story). Also can we please highlight the fact that Jinshi just jumped down the wall AND WITH MAOMAO??? Boy he has legs out of steel, because the wall is very high. Oo

Yeah you can say the story had happy endings and everything went pretty well but it is indeed only the beginning of Maomaos story and I´m so glad that they announced season 2. <3

And how would I rate it? I would give it a 10/10 because i never felt bored nor was there something I really didn´t like. Yeah I´m critical when it comes to Lakan and Mamomaos mother and i will continue with it and a few other characters, but that didn´t change my rating for the anime. It´s a great story and I´m happy that they made 20+ episodes. I will recommend this story to everyone who likes these type of stories and I really like how this story shows in an authentical way how the life in a palace was or how courtesans lived their life. It´s not romanticized and beside that you can learn a lot about medicine because Maomaos passion for it can and will infect you. She is btw for me one of the best female characters out there. I like her personality and how she solves things. I like how she is true to her opinion and isn´t afraid to say it or share her ideas with others. For me she is a very strong character.

Oh and Jinshi is also a great character and on my husbando list. :D

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and being cafe workers

requested by anon: "hi! i really liked your take of svt having a cold! what are your thoughts on svt as cafe workers? thank you for your hard work! "

notes: LMAO this was actually sm fun

masterlist

seungcheol

he doesn't know why he's working in a cafe tbh. he doesn't even know how it happened. jeonghan brought him to the cafe he worked at one day and the next thing he knew, he was being hired as a barista at that very same place. oh well, he supposes it's kind of fun (?) to work alongside such chipper people, and it encourages him to talk to a vast range of people while he works

jeonghan

assistant manager, sleeps in the back room half the time, only ever gets called out for it by chan. somehow a master at handling orders during rush hour, though? gets through coffees in a flash, taking orders and yelling at minghao to get on with it and also packaging pastries and working the cashier and still smiling and greeting people nicely. but don't call for his help until it's rush hour again okay he needs another nap now

joshua

doesn't actually do, like . anything. he's out there on the floor chatting to people and (sometimes) taking orders and (not really) clearing the tables and smiling and doing nothing whatsoever. gets away with it bc he's pretty and good at talking to people so it gains them more customers anyway. works in a cafe, but doesn't like coffee. asks people if they want a cake instead when they ask what coffee he recommends

junhui

bright and sweet and has the weirdest recommendations when customers ask him how he normally takes his coffee. either looks like he's buzzed up on way too much caffeine or looking like he's about to doze off any second. has probably slept during a lull in his shift before. whizzes around the shop with his broom going "wheee!!" while he's cleaning up when they're closing up the coffee shop for the day

hoshi

bids all the customers goodbye with a wave and his signature move (his horanghae hands), gets slapped on the head with a tea towel by woozi every time he catches him. is always stealing the pastries from inside the display during the lazy times of the day, swears he's innocent and pins the blame on poor seungkwan who was on the other side of the cafe at that time

wonwoo

has literally every customer in their early 20s giving him their phone numbers/ asking him if he wants to go grab something to eat with them. typically hides behind the coffee machines and doing the barista work bc ngl he's kinda terrified because one time this lady just Kept Coming Back to talk to him and his social battery was just not up for dealing with her level of bright chatter. 

woozi

he gives me manager vibes. he's the one who scolds mingyu whenever he gets within a three foot radius of the coffee machines, who hits hoshi over the head for his excessive tiger agenda, who lets jeonghan sleep in the back room but denies that it's because he's lowkey scared of him. very very good at manager-ing and can also barista when it gets too busy. the cafe would fall to pieces without him tbh. 

minghao

one of the best baristas ever. memorises complicated orders in the blink of an eye. rattles off the order back to the customer when they claim that he made their drink wrong and then raises an eyebrow and goes "isn't that what you wanted, sir?". grins almost sadistically whenever someone orders an insanely caffeine-loaded drink. is in horror at junhui's coffee preferences. 

mingyu

isn't allowed near the coffee machines after that one time he almost broke one of them while pulling the lever too hard. is great at doing cashier work because he's such eye candy, pulls in the greatest amount of tips because of it. sometimes works the floor, but that's also risky bc there have been times where he's gotten in the way of his colleagues as they hand out coffee and spilt it all down his uniform

dokyeom

brighest sunshine smile ever. asked to work mainly morning shifts, and woozi agreed because putting seokmin and his sunshine brightness in an evening shift would probably make their tired customers feel even more exhausted while talking to his unending brightness. has gotten the second most amount of numbers given to him after wonwoo, but the clueless boy doesn't even understand why

seungkwan

that one chatty barista who talks about anything and everything to anyone who looks at him too long while he's working. hates the opening shift. always complains long and loud at how sloppily the shop was cleaned up by the people on the closing shift of the day before. scolds hoshi when he snatches a cake pop when he thinks no one is looking. 

vernon

Good And Honest Worker™. nothing to say tbh, he's just actually genuinely good at the job. everyone wants to be put on the same shift as him. gives customers song recommendations too whenever they ask him what drink he recommends they have. once tried to write the prop-up sign for the cafe, was laughed at by woozi bc it looked like it was written by a child

chan

newbie. doesn't know how to work the coffee machines, isn't allowed to figure them out in case he becomes the next mingyu and destroys the machine that was almost killed by the guy's hands. is in charge of drawing smiley faces on the coffee cups. writes everyone's name wrongly on the cup, and yet calls it out flawlessly every time as he hands them their coffee with a beam and a chipper "have a nice day!"

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[sprite-writes-fanfic]

Hi I hope your having a good day!

I was wondering if for the tmnt bros (all 4, 2003) what would happen if say they had a shy sorta insecure S/O and they had sorta planned a date with S/O mentioning that they had a surprise planned for their BF. Fast forward to later the the turtle kinda forgot due to having a mission after finishing it they and their bros need to get something from his room, Where they'd find the S/O in lingerie, on their bed, covered in flower petals and even candles the same color of their turtle boyfriend's mask and they say something flirty before opening their eyes seeing all the bros there instead of just their boyfriend, get super flustered and accidentally knock a candle down almost causing a fire, and while trying to cover themself just face plants onto the floor getting a nosebleed in the process and a slight concussion.

afterwards poor S/O cant look at the other turtles for about a week and and their not even mad just feeling a bit humiliated and saying stuff like "yeah it was a dumb idea anyways, probably wont do it again in the future" Though they do kinda find it a little funny later on about how badly it went

Thank you for your writings! I really enjoy them

Awe! I’m glad you do!! It makes me giddy to see that people genuinely enjoy my writings!! <3 Also I love this idea! I’d actually die if this ever happened to me ngl 💀

Seduction Disaster!

🐢💙❤️2003 TMNT x Reader💜🧡🐢

Word Count: 1606

CW: Gender-neutral reader, a bit of a crack-fic, DW there’s some fluff involved too! A tad bit spicy(?), all characters are over the age of 18, in their early 20s! Enjoy!

T/N - Turtle Name

B/N - Brother Name

Oh, it was a stupid idea, a REALLY stupid idea. To say you regretted it, would be an understatement… In your defense you just wanted to give your boyfriend something nice! It took you a long while, but you had finally built up some confidence to finally impress your boyfriend and maybe try and give him a night to remember. Oh did you not intend THIS to be the night to remember.

Your boyfriend was out on a mission, one that took longer than expected, but it gave you enough time to put your plan into motion! You bought the candles, bought the roses and you got your lingerie. Alright everything was going well, just according to plan… You warned Splinter not to go into T/N’s room, to which he complied and just stayed in the dojo to meditate. Great. That was great for you, so you suited up slipped into your lingerie and checked yourself out in his mirror to make sure everything was good and fitted perfectly. DAMN, did you look good! This made you even more confident in all of this and got everything else set and ready to go!

Finally, the guys arrived back home, T/N groaning as he flopped onto the couch tiredly, not even remembering at the time that you had something planned for him in his bedroom. He was exhausted and a little brain dead at the moment, so when one of his brothers asked if they could grab something from his room that they left in there, he nonchalantly gave them the go-ahead, not thinking much about it.

You were laid out on the bed, awaiting his arrival, your eyes closed as you took deep breaths to ready yourself. Once you heard the door open, you started with, “Welcome home ba—” once you opened your eyes, you were greeted with the wrong turtle, and your heart dropped. And honestly, B/N was staring at you with a look of horror and shock. You let out a shriek as you rushed to cover yourself, ultimately failing as you slipped out of the bed and landed on your face, a little too hard. You barely noticed the blanket catch on fire as B/N panicked and called for T/N’s help, to which he bolted in and panicked.

Yeah… Not a fun time to say the least. Donnie ended up having to patch you up, help you with your bleeding nose and made sure you didn’t fall asleep because of your concussion. You were so embarrassed, you couldn’t even look into B/N’s eyes for a while, or any of T/N’s brothers eyes for that matter…

🐢💙Leonardo💙🐢

💙 Leo didn’t realize that you had something planned for him until the moment he heard your shrieks come from his bedroom and Donnie’s panicked yells for Leo brought him back to his senses. You planned something for him, and he completely forgot. He hurried to his room, freezing when he saw you face-first onto the ground and his blanket on fire.

💙 Luckily, Donnie was quick to put out the fire while Leo was by your side in an instant. Mikey and Raph rushed to the room to check things out while Leo covered your body while making sure you were okay. He could not forgive himself for this for a LONG while, not when he saw your face when he pulled you off the ground. After Donnie made sure you were okay, and was quick to move on with the situation, he left you alone with Leo.

💙 He comforted you the rest of the night, holding you close and kissing your face softly as he murmured soft little apologies. He’d make it up to you, and he swore that he would. He became EXTRA protective of you too, and was always sure to check his bedroom first before his brothers went in, he even set a ground-rule not to go into his bedroom until he’s made sure nothing’s going on in there. Yeah maybe he’s going a little far, but it’s appreciated.

🐢❤️Raphael❤️🐢

❤️ He didn’t see it coming, but he sure did hear it, that shriek he knew rather well, and Mikey’s yelling of, “WOAH! I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT!” Raph bolted to his room without a second thought, and oh the sight that greeted him, you face first on the ground and Mikey standing there, frozen and panicking. “WELL DON’T JUST STAND THERE SHELL BRAIN! HELP ME PUT OUT THE FIRE!” Raph yelled at Mikey as the two worked on putting out the fire first, soon Leo joining in once he heard the commotion.

❤️ Once he knew it was done, he chased out his brothers before hurrying to your side, eyes wide and panicked, “Dollface! You okay?!” He sat you up as you had tears of embarrassment rolling down your eyes and a bleeding nose. He was quick to sit you back on his bed as he grabbed an extra blanket. After he’s carefully wrapped you, he scoops you up and hurries to find Donnie, “Hey brainiac! Need some help here!” Donnie rolled his eyes before he was greeted by the sight of your bruised forehead and bleeding nose. Biting back the sarcastic remark, he was quick to take care of you.

❤️ After you were all taken care of, Raph took you back to his room, laid you on the bed, put out all the candles, before curling up beside you. He swore to himself he’d never let this happen again. And boy, did he make sure it didn’t not only that, he became like your bodyguard, actually scratch that, he was more of your guarddog. When you were recovering, he made sure to do everything you asked and never left your side. If anybody tried to check in, he was quick to tell them to buzz off. It was your guys time, nobody was interrupting it this time.

🐢💜Donatello💜🐢

💜 Donnie relaxed against the couch, the TV playing mindless nonsense as he just gave his brain a break from the rough mission. When he was about to doze off, Leo would tell him he was heading to his lab, to which he didn’t think much of until he heard a loud shriek and Leo yelling apologies, causing alarm for everyone. Donnie was fast on his feet and bolted to his lab, seeing the scene, he panicked. First of all, you’re hurt, second… FLAMMABLE ITEMS IN HIS LAB!!!

💜 He panicked, but was quick, he took a blanket and covered you first before yelling to Leo, “Help me put out the flames!” To which, the both of them did, Raph and Mikey soon joining while Splinter would wait outside the lab, worried. Once everything was said and done, Donnie gently scooped you up and headed to his little examination table, gently laying you down as you whined out in pain. He didn’t take too long to take care of you, cleaning up your nose and stopping the bleeding, before keeping a close eye on you because of the concussion.

💜 He would be so sweet and gentle with you, whispering small reassuring things as he took care of you. He always shushed you when you tried to apologize about the whole thing, I mean, it was both of your guys fault, Donnie not remembering, and you not thinking of that possibility. Donnie felt at fault for the most part for it, because if he remembered this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Either way, he would cuddle with you the whole night, watching a movie to help distract you both from that disaster.

🐢🧡Michelangelo🧡🐢

🧡 Mikey got up and actually ended up microwaving some pizza, as he felt pretty damn hungry. While he was doing that, staring intently at the microwave, he heard Raph call out to him about needing something back from him and that he was checking his room. Mikey gave him the go-ahead and continued to wait, until he heard Raph scream and you shriek from his bedroom.

🧡 This man has never moved so fast in his life, Donnie and Leo right on his tail as they stumble into his room. Raph was panicking over you, unsure of what to do, meanwhile the main concern for Leo and Donnie was the fire! Those two worked on it while Mikey was by your side in an instant, in this situation he couldn’t even joke to try and distract you and make you feel better, he just wrapped you up in his arms and held you close.

🧡 Once the whole fiasco was taken care of and Donnie fixed you up, Mikey was trying so hard to cheer you up and keep your mind off of what just happened. He even sacrificed his last slice of pizza to you, before getting all cozy with you. He was very doting that night, making sure you were okay, because honestly he was never this worried. You ended up sleeping in his arms that night with him holding you in a protective manner.

Yeah… You were never doing that again, despite being spoiled by your partner and taken care of after everything was said and done, you’d rather not face the embarrassment of his brother walking in on you again when you’re in such a vulnerable position meant for T/N. It will never happen again, ESPECIALLY not with candles, if T/N wants candles he will be lighting them up himself.

Luckily now you can finally look B/N in the eyes after everything and laugh it off while feeling yourself die inside after everything. Mistakes were made, and you certainly learned from that whole experience.

[your-resident-boat-person]

Ngl, I'm one of those people who really freaks out about wasting my 20s like my life will end when I'm 30, and nothing has done a better job of combating that than Ace Attorney. Whether it be Phoenix post Trilogy (especially his appearance in AJ:AA) or Barok van Zieks in The Great Ace Attorney. These characters remind me that age is something to be celebrated. Seeing a character like Phoenix Wright in his 30s, washed up, none of his shit together, but he's HAPPY. He has a daughter that means the world to him. He doesn't care that his "best years" are behind him. And even if he did think that, his appearance in AA 5 and 6 would have contradicted that thought. I'd argue he accomplished way more in the second trilogy than the first. Like, I know it's just fiction, but still. It helps.

[reqxxyt]

mission

pairings: oscar p. x f!reader

summary: mission: make oscar piastri your friend

warning: ngl reader is kind of annoying-

masterlist requests are open!

[uedited] 1.9k

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

“Oscar is coming in today, try to make him feel welcome?” the text sent in by one of your coworkers read. You felt excitement run through you over the news of the driver coming in for the first time before the season would start. You were media manager of the two drivers, ensuring that everything between the two were good in terms and everything that the public sees was appropriate. 

You were practically friends with the entire crew, Lando being the closest to you. It was always the easiest to make friends with someone, and you planned to be friends with the upcoming driver just like you did with the rest of the crew. So you ensured you looked your best today, putting on a bright smile as you walked past everyone. 

“Met Oscar yet?” Lando came up to you, walking beside you now as you two entered the media room. 

“Nope, supposed to introduce myself later after hes gotten the tour” you explained seeing Lando frown a bit, “whats up?”

“Hes a bit quiet so don’t make him feel too overwhelmed. I know how far you can go to make someone your friend” he said reminding you on how past workers just wanted you to stay 20 feet from them and no less. It hurt your feelings but you understood that not everyone wanted to be your friend and let them be themselves still exchanging a simple smile. 

“Maybe you just don’t know how to make friends like I do” you confidently stated while Lando gave you a blank stare, not amused at all already thinking about the different ways you'll try to get the driver to be your friend. 

“And this is the media room” one of the workers announced and you immediately turned your head to see Oscar trying to stand as confident as possible. The two walked up to you and you shined your infamous welcoming smile, “This is y/n, i’ll leave you to her. I’m sure you’ll like her” 

Oscar just gave you a nod of acknowledgment with a small smile, a bit shy but you could work with that. Just need a little crack of the shell. 

“Hello newbie” you said, you could tell Oscar was already cringing at the nickname as he raised an eyebrow and you began to cringe at yourself apoligizing, “Terrible start, i’m y/n your media manager. So I basically deal with anything that goes out to the public so please don’t give me too much of a headache because thats landos job” 

He chuckled at that. Great start, you thought to yourself. 

“How was your last media manager because i'll make sure to treat you 10 times better” you confidently said with a proud smile as you started walking around the building with him following still getting the general premise of the layout. 

“I never got much of a chance to talk to her, mostly kept to herself” he said, crossign his arms in front of his chest.  You thought about how sad that was, not knowing who your drivers were that you wouldn’t have been able to talk to them. You two neared the patio as you said with a delighted voice, 

“Well i’ll make sure to talk to you” his nervous presence didn’t go unnoticed by you. You just needed to crack his shell is all, you keep telling yourself. 

The next day you greeted him and he only smiled at you. Nothing wrong with that, people are tired in the mornings. You called the two drivers in later that day to discuss how to out the news of Oscars arrival and while you made (amazing in your opinion) jokes, Lando would be the one to respond to them while Oscar stayed quiet nearly the entire meeting. 

Okay we all have our off days. 

But it would routinely be the same. Some days you wouldn’t even spot him or get a chance to talk to him. 

“I don’t think he likes me” you slumped into Landos bed as he was playing on his computer, listening to your rant for the past hour as a background noise. 

“Not everyone wants to be your friend, y/n” he reminded you and you only groaned against the pillows muffling your sounds at the reminder. 

“I know that but” you paused, thinking about it for a moment “he barely even acknowledges me anymore. Its somehow gotten worse” you slumped to yourself trying to think of a possible (good enough) reason as to why he mightve changed. 

“Just give him space-”

“I have a plan” you interrupted him making Lando sigh tiredly, now being the one to lose his patience. “Mission: Make Oscar my friend” you grabbed a random piece of sticky note paper and began scrambling for ideas. 

Step 1: be generous

Easy enough, you thought. Who doesn’t like cookies? You’ll just make cookies and offer them to him. You spent the entire night making cookies for the entire crew so it wouldn’t look too suspicious, put them into pretty bags and offer them to people as they enter. 

“Trying to get someone to be your friend?” oen of the coworkers passed as you handed them a bag, you gave them furrowed eyebrows. He only laughed, explaining “you always do this when you're trying to make a friend” 

You thought about it, cursing to yourself remembering this was how you got the photographer to be your friend last time. Thinking too much, Oscar had passed you without saying anything. You caught up to him with a bag in your hand. Oscar didn’t seem too surprised, growing used to your bursts of greeting. 

“I made cookies for the team, here” You handed it to him, and with a hesitant look he took them in your hand whispering a small thank you before walking at a faster rate hoping you would get the message. You did, but you refused to accept it as you began to increase your pace with him. 

Step 2: ask about their day

“How was your day?” your joyful voice made him stiffen. 

“It's been well” he responded in a quick manner, he wondered why you were still following him as he thought you would have much more important things to do instead of trying to connect with him. You did but its not like you finish your work on time on the regular anyways. 

“That's great-”

“y/n, need you to look at these” someone behind called out and you hesitated before sighing to yourself and waving with a simple smile before leaving, leaving Oscar to finally be able to breathe and settle down his rapid heart. 

“Didn’t work too well?” Lando asked, sitting down on the couch of the media room as the photographer began to show you the pictures.

“No, something is wrong with me” Your hands ran through your hair as if you had really lost your spark in people. “He seems to be enjoying everyone else but me” 

“That's because you're simply too much” he displayed his cheeky grin making you playfully hit him before you started examining the pictures. 

“You want to come with us for a photoshoot?” the photographer asked you and you eagerly nodded thinking this would be perfect chance to talk to Oscar more. 

Step 3: be an assistant. Practically help him with anything and everything he may need. Does he need water? You will personally go on a hunt to find the nearest water. Food? Give him yours, don’t feed it to him though. That’s weird. Jacket because it gets too cold? Fine, you’ll give him yours. 

“Stop acting so weird” Lando judged you as you practically jumped out of the car since he offered you a ride to the place. “And try to” he paused pretending to think before finishing “not be yourself so much” 

You shook your head as he laughed to himself feeling a little too proud of his joke. You spotted the photographer and Oscar chatting, he seemed more comfortable with her and you sighed to yourself before running up to them with a bright smile. Oscar immediately stopped talking, backing up a bit causing you to feel conscious of your aura. 

Lando gives you a look and your smile falters a bit to a much smaller one before facing back to the photographer, “when are you getting started?” you asked. 

“In a little, just need to get my bag. Be back” she leaves, being followed by Lando not too long after. Your eyes narrowed, now a bit confused as to why the two had to walk off considering it was just a bag until realization hit you. 

“Oh, they are so together” your smile beamed covering your mouth, heart picking up already being so happy for them. You faced Oscar who looked like he couldn’t care less, but seeing your smile made the corner of his lips curve up a bit “You know what this means?”

“The press are going to have a field day with the news?” he guessed and you only nodded suddenly your smile dropping, realizing you may have gotten too excited, going back on your heels to contain yourself from jumping around. 

“Shh don’t mention anything” you couldn’t help the smile though, as you giggled to yourself. It got quiet as you broke the silence facing him suddenly a bit nervous, “Hey, Piastri?” 

He hummed, allowing you to continue a bit interested as to your quiet demeener. 

“How come you don’t like me?” you were a bit embarrassed to ask, seeing as you’ve never questioned someone so much. Usually leaving them alone after a while, so why was he different?

“Who said I didn’t like you?” his eyebrows furrowed at you, somehow gathering enough courage to look at you properly for the first time, you now being the one to be looking down. The question brought your head up though, a bit surprised. You thought it was obvious. 

“You talk to practically everyone but me” your voice got quieter, something that rarely ever happens. 

“I’m talking to you now” he commented on and you only rolled your eyes, 

“Thats because I initiated the conversation” you couldn’t help the frustrated voice being let out. 

“Well, you're different. In a good way at least” you could tell he was getting nervous, some pink lingering on his cheeks and whether that was caused by you or the sun you didn’t want to know in the moment. His smile largened by just an inch but you weren’t one to not notice, “You want to be my friend so badly?”

You nodded eagerly earning a small chuckle from him. Why did your heart leap at the sound?

“Let me do it my way” he picked up one of your hands. “Allow me to take you out to a quiet place somewhere and I promise you’ll learn about me by the end of the night” 

His suggestion made your heart flip, a weird heat rush going to your cheeks as you realized his suggestion, tilting your head asking “like a date?”

The official term made Oscars cheeks now a bit more rosy, but you found it to be adorable. “If you agree to it” was all he said. 

You thought about it for a minute, allowing a small “sure, why not” shrugging with a small smile hiding your large one. 

After only about a month, he asked you out officially and you had finally succeeded in your mission. 

You got Oscar Piastri to be your (boy)friend. 

[t4tozier]

hello. starbreaker ask moment!! first of all, wanted to say that your playlists are absolutely excellent; have been going through them, and Good Looking and Coming Down being on jace's playlist both hit me like a ton of bricks. (the latter, I've always loved and WHOA is it applicable; the former is new to me, and WHOA is it also applicable.) second of all, your takes on what classes the two of them would be if they couldn't, for whatever reason, be their canon ones? (sorcerer and barbarian/paladin, respectively.) typed all that out and went "wait, am I also asking for class swap AU here? whoa" so that's a subset question if you're interested in that too!

yay i'm so glad you enjoy the playlists i have been listening to the starbreaker and porter ones nonstop. i'm ngl i haven't even listened to jace's all the way through yet because his songs are like slow and sad for the most part and i just haven't been in that mood. i actually moved a lot of songs from shattered over to smoke and iron because i needed to make a jace playlist and i thought it was fun to have shattered reflect more of the hatefuck dynamic and jace's playlist to be the obsessive religious devotion songs. i cannot take the credit for coming down that was all my darling natalie beeprich but i do think good looking is so jace. i can't remember when/where i found that one tbh i remember hearing the song before but it may have come up on the suggested for shattered which is how i come up with a lot of my playlists.

okay now to the actual question lol!! this is sooo fascinating i really have to think about it. this is going under a cut bc it’s already too long

i can't see jace as anything other than a caster but i think he has the stats for bard, specifically eloquence bard.

silver tongue means he can practically never fail a deception or persuasion check

unfailing and infectious inspiration aren't as useful to a solo adventurer, but i can see a young fresh jace excited to join a party and then be left with all of these useful abilities that he rarely gets the opportunity to use. it does end up coming in handy later on when he starts working with porter and the rat grinders (plus, with the way his mirror image works, i could see him being able to grant them bardics as well)

porter was harder for me to figure out because it felt like a cop out to make him a fighter. but i think an interesting flip would be to see him as a full paladin instead. in my personal canon, i think he took the oath of devotion before switching to main-classing barbarian, but here, i'm thinking about oath of conquest paladin porter.

this part from dnd beyond specifically sticks out to me in relation to porter, especially with the "survival of the fittest" nature of his goliath background:

Strength Above All. You shall rule until a stronger one arises. Then you must grow mightier and meet the challenge, or fall to your own ruin.

he gets some great spells to intimidate and dominate, and at higher levels he has the ability to physically punish those who hurt him without even taking an action to do it. he also would get resistance to all damage at 20th level and would crit on a 19 or 20.

now in terms of class swaps:

i also felt it was a cop out to make jace a wild magic barbarian, so instead, we're going with the path of the zealot. this ties in well with the deification of porter, and i also think it's funny that it's a hell of a lot easier to raise him from the dead than anyone else due to a lack of needing material components for revivify or any other spell to raise the dead. porter PWKs him? just call buddy over, he'll be back in under a minute. i also think Rage makes for a very fun dynamic between the two of them; jace rises from the dead and immediately goes for porter's throat. he just throws a shocking grasp back at him. it's fun we're having fun :)

i think it is also fun to have porter be a draconic bloodline sorcerer. he gets additional AC from his draconic resilience, and he can resist lightning damage which is rarer than other types of resistance. he also gets dragon wings which i just think is cool. i don't really see porter as a caster in general but i do think for someone who values his ancestry so much he would take pride in getting his magic from his bloodline.

[tonguetyd]

hi drift 😇 question. who are your favorite band boys who are Baby™️???? the world (me) wants to know

YOU WANT ME TO RAMBLE ABOUT BAND MEN THAT I THINK ARE NEAT?!?!

OKAY!!!!

Where do I even begin, I guess we’ll go to the OGs first which would be my favorite humans alive, a band called The Maine

Who admittedly are Grown Ass Men™️ with wives and children but like. I have grown up alongside these guys and they will always be the goofy band that owns my whole heart. (Left by nickalausstafford, right by ashleyosborn)

(Also like. I still find them utterly adorable even after 16 years) (Like look at John with his dorky lil 🤙🏻 and tell me I’m wrong)

Next we have the current baby baby, Friday Pilots Club, who are the epitome of “we need to bring back bands that all look like absolute LOSERS” (this is a direct video they themselves made btw)

Who are just. A lil group of guys. Look at them. They’re really just. Yeah. And I may or may not give a little giggle when I see their cute lil faces on my phone. And also Caleb (singer, the one all the way in the right in the first photo/white shirt fella) is a pinnacle example of “wow your voice does NOT match your face” but both are quite lovely ngl (Both by kate.liddy)

They also remind me of what I imagine Baby ST was like so like might as well throw those guys in here because idk how a masked band can be Baby™️ but.

Here they are. I guess.

Which for the record I did not babygirl that man. He did that all himself.

(Both photos by adamrosssi) (Hi iv.)

God there’s so many others too like OBVIOUSLY Pete Wentz is the ORIGINAL BLUEPRINT for babygirl band guys. All of Fall Out Boy.

20 years on, still just a lil group of dudes from Chicago. (elliotxingham took the last one I couldn’t tell you who shot the original TTTYG or SRAR covers)

Burying this down far below where it’ll hide the text so I don’t continue to embarrass myself in front of Megs (MEGS I AM SO SORRY TO ALL THAT YOU WITNESS) but John Nolan and Adam Lazarra of Taking Back Sunday are also great examples of Grown Ass Men™️ babygirls.

Adam is also the single greatest frontman I have ever watched, he is so much fun and peak “CHAOTIC MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING” energy. (Both by salmabustos)

And then I guess to end it we’ll throw it to the ultimate baby, the babiest babygirl, and the only actual babygirl on this list (and also the reason I found out I was bi)

None other than our Queen herself.

MISS WILLIAMS IF YA NASTAAAAAAY

Hope this was entertaining and if you would like elaborations I can absolutely give more 😇

[annimoose]

Ranking malevolent characters on how hot I think they might be:

Arthur lester - 7 or 8/10

A lot of people seem to be drawn to him, whether that be appearance or personality wise (I totally believe this to be a side effect of John's manipulation bleeding over but skeijrir)

Claiming this because Noel asked him if was married during being asked what he wanted and when Oscar was going to ask him if he wanted to go do... something 🏳️‍🌈❓️

John Doe - 1 or 10/10

There is no in-between for this. He's either the beautiful and elegant fractured piece of the kiy or a shrimp. I will not elaborate further.

Peter Yang - 10/10

He was too sexy for the world. 😔

Eddie - 8/10

Big bruiser guy can attack me anytime, lord have mercy

Kellin - fucked up/10

I mean, hes a war veteran who wears a gas mask at all times. He's fucked up physically and mentally. I hope he's doing alright. (I- know he's not)

Antoine - 10/10

Another character too hot for the world. What a shame. 😩

The King In Yellow - 9/10

He's an elder god who's known for lavish and madness, I KNOW he's hot. Minus one point because he prolly is a lil fucked up after being split in two.

John even comments on how remarkable he is (this could be just to inflate his ego but whatever you say john,, 🙄)

The Vanguard - 0/10

Would've been a great mascot for the Talking Heads

(If I see a what that mouth do comment I will delete this fucking post)

The Trader - 6/10

Honestly, I just would love to see some Trader fanart. I think he would look cool :)

Micheal Faust - delectable/10 or 11/10

Are you Mr. Faust because damn you're looking like a fine snack. 🥴

Had a guy eat him out, like literally.

Lorick - FROG/10

FROG FRIEND, FROG FRIEND. No hot is simply FROG frien 🐸

Kayne - eeeehh,,, 5/10,, probably 6 being generous?

I know a controversial take but let me splain

Not necessarily calling him bad looking but I feel like his features would definitely be stretched and contorted just enough to be unnerving. Looks human but you can definitely tell he's not.

Yellow - piss baby/10

Roll em up like a jaundice blunt and smoke em up. 🚬

Uncle - 0/10

I know what I said about Auntie Nyan Nyan but I promise you I'm not a monster fucker.

Mmmm Antie Nyan Nyan could put a collar on me and walk me like the dirty dog I am anytime.

Wallace Larson - 8/10 personality wise - -0/10

Would probably look hot, ngl,, too bad hes rotten to the core.

I hope he's getting his femur shattered over and over again during his permanent vacay in the Dreamlands.

The Butcherrrr - 6/10

Probably wouldn't look too bad for an old man. I really dont have much more to add on him.

Butcher my beloved 💖

Marie - widow/10

She deserves the world on a silver plater 💖

Mr. Scratch - NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE/10

Now if we're going to talk about Lilith, everyone knows she's a 20/10. That's literally her thing to be hot and to swoon men. Thankfully she did NOT do this to Arthur.

Oscar - 5/10

Idk, I just feel like he wouldn't be that hot. 🤷‍♀️

This does not make me love him even less because GOD he deserved better. 💖

Detective Noel - 9/10

God I miss my man wife. It's not even funny. 😭

I'm starving now, gotta see if I have any left over Mr. Faust in the fridge.

Yaaay I did most characters. 🎉

This kinda derailed a little bit, but eh, whatever.

[blkkizzat]

Kali losing her virginity story time when

sis lmfao it's not glamorous... ngl i 18 and i was crossfaded af at a college party and "superman" by eminem was playing.

LMFAO A MESS, ill talk about it but i don't wanna trigger anyone so under the cut. tw sex under the influence; dubcon

i probably wasn't in the right mind frame to consent or anything tbh (so please dont be like me stay safe). well, honestly now that i think about it, i think it was just that last bong hit that had me out of my mind. although i was already naked atp lol so i was down to have sex. but right after that's when i blacked out and when i came to i was literally moaning as ol'boy had a mouth full of my pussy hjdfasdjhfasdjh. i just wanted to lose my v and get it over with so i was happy to go with the flow. (disclaimer: back in the day when i was drinking hard dark liquor and mixed it with weed i would literally black out, but not go unconscious but just lose that time and not know wtf i was doing for the last 20 mins. But people have told me i was talking/acting like normal so idk.bdjhsdfjh but it happened then too. its only happened to me like 3-4 times tbh all when i binge drank heavy in college and smoked a fuckton of weed. so no it wasn't like i was unconscious and he was hooking up with me anyway).

that said, ngl that was some of the best sex i ever had in college. high sex is always great for me tbh and i dont remember it hurting much (but he had also just ate me out for like 45 min) but i think me and ol'boy just had good natural chemistry. he lived on the 3rd floor and my friends on the first floor said they heard me kfjhsdkjshdfkvjhsd.

one awkward asf thing though is the guy did not know i was a virgin and i would have told him if i wasnt so fucked up fjkhrfkdhgkdf.

also just wanna note, im not sad or upset at all. i always gave zero fucks about the construct of virginity (personally, please if you want it to be nice and special that is your preference and nothing is wrong with that). and sidenote thats why other than the one virgin!reader fic i will write (she wont really give af either tho tbh), i dont like writing virgin!reader cause i dont believe in idealizing it.

honestly i just wanted to lose it cause up until that point i was scared to use a tampon and was tired of being in the bloody dirt trenches with pads fhsdfjkhasfjaksh. like it wasnt even about "losing my virginity to a tampon", i was just scared to put it in. but literally got my period a week later and was like "well a dick has been in me" and found the courage to put it in. i was a silly bitch im fully aware LOL!

but i will say, it was this weird thing after where i felt bad for NOT feeling bad. like i had other friends who idealized virginity so much (then were all pikachu face when they found out i didnt want to tell them i had sex), i felt like there was something wrong with me for not thinking it was a big deal. even sometimes now, i wont want to discuss it just because so may people do idolize it its annoying to have to deal with their reactions and reassure them "no i dont feel like i was SA'd, no i dont regret it, yes i actually enjoyed the experience."

however i will say now im in the middle.

these days im alot more selective with who i fuck as personally i subscribe to the ideas of tantra/tantric sex. That while you can have sex without emotions, you can't have it without an energy exchange. sometimes ive felt shitty after one-night stands or liked the friends with bennies for the pleasure in sex but felt off after. i realized that those feelings weren't due to guilt from slut-shaming but the fact that their energy was off and it was now having an effect on me. so rn im DTF 100%—but yo energy gotta be right. and usually i cant tell that just from the bar or first meeting so ive been waiting more.

i rambled again jsdhsdjhbj but oh well.

[sunnysgraves]

[SUNNY GRAVES. 30. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [20 YEARS] and are originally from [POINT PLEASANT, WEST VIRGINIA]. They are a [TOUR GUIDE/EMPLOYEE AT PARANORMAL BOOKS & CURIOSITIES/THE PARANORMAL MUSEUM] and in their downtime love [HORROR MOVIES] and [WITCHCRAFT]. They look a lot like [OLIVIA COOKE] and live in [MEADOWLARK APARTMENTS]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [ANDROMEDA BY WEYES BLOOD].

☾ playlist. ☾ pinterest. ☾ muse. ☾ connections.

━━ ⟢ i. the basics  full name → sunny louise graves birthday → 06/02/1994 big three → gemini sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising height → 5'5" sexual orientation → bisexual  mbti → infj hometown → point pleasant, west virginia

━━ ⟢ i. personality tidbits  - has that complex anxious avoidant attachment style - when she senses someones pulling back she's like swerve  - dropping hints like she's the queen of ghosting - she can be very all or nothing in regards to that so like you may get a text from her once every other week or she'll bomb you with them all at once in a span of five minutes - is a great friend but she's intense so she's not for everyone - always assumes everyone's mad at her  - her hometown is where mothman was famously cited, and yeah she makes that a personality trait - she practices witchcraft and has an altar to the deities she worships - though i feel as if she's still pretty skeptic if she believes in ghosts she kinda cancels out proof even if it's right in front of her face. her logical side of her brain kind of kicks in and clears it out. she can be pretty self motivated, even if its unbeknownst to herself. - playlists are her love language - finds comfort in meditation instead of going fucking insane, sometimes both - always falls for emotionally unavailable people, a lot of times her bosses 😭 - very into metaphysics like tarot, astrology, etc  - loves horror movies and probably watches at least one a day (probably while she's eating dinner ngl)  

━━ ⟢ i. go deeper tw: alcohol, drug use, abuse, suicide - m o m m y i s s u e s 🥳 - sunny grew up in a tumultuous household with her parents always fighting and money was always tight - it wasn't until she was 10 that she moved to asbury park where she was hopeful things would improve since her father landed a better job, but things quickly deteriorated - as she got older her mom developed bad habits with drugs, and her father coped with alcohol  - as a byproduct she was kind of abandoned emotionally, and didn't really have anyone to turn to - her mom was self medicating a larger problem under the surface, and sunny had the misfortune of walking in on her mom trying on several occasions to take her own life - as a result she couldn't focus in school or, would hyper focus on the wrong things and daydream instead of listening in her classes - got the rep of not only the new kid, but the weird new kid - and as things usually happen, one day when her guard was down because her mom appeared to be doing better, so she decided to go hang out at a friend's house after school one day.  - when she returned home later than normal, she walked around her house looking for her mom. to her disbelief, she found her mom hanging from the shower curtain rod, and was in denial that her mom was really gone since she'd always caught it in time before.  - hours later her father found sunny holding her mom up talking to her limp body about how she made a friend at school finally.  - when the emts arrived on scene trying to load her mom onto the stretcher, sunny wouldn't allow them to take her mom away from her until her dad had to physically pick her up and carry her away  - she blamed herself for not being there for her mom sooner - she hasn't ever really dealt with her mother's death, i think in a way she tried to acquaint herself closely with death instead. she would buy ouija boards trying to contact her mother from the other side. hire psychic mediums, go to palm readers, anything for a sign from her mom  - whew that was fun! thank you for sticking around if you made it this far into this dumpster fire 

━━ ⟢ i. connections  - literally anything and everything  - people she's once passed on the street and projected romantic fantasies on, friends, friends of a friend, cousins, exes, ex hookups, ex situationships, enemies, neighbors, old co-workers, old classmates, old classmates that used to bully her etc etc gimme gimme gimme