#even a war couldn't make him care why am i this dumb why do i love him

[palesoftangel]

i miss him i missj him i miss him whyyy didn't he check on me i look for him at every protest vid i see because i know he is there everything reminds me of you why don't i cross your mind

[williaml0ver]

☆ <3 Naib Subedar General Dating Headcanons ☆ <3

[🖇️] word count: 1423

[🖇️] warnings: g/n reader, talks of ptsd, miscommunication, not proofread wdgaf!!!!!

[🖇️] author's note: I don't really know how big the IDV fandom is since i am still quite new to both the game and tumblr itself. I have no experience in writing so i am sorry if my work seems tacky, i will be working on it 😭 Like i said I don't know if this fandom is active here so someone will either read this or i will be feeding myself self delusion for these sweet characters. I'm confused but i got the spirit id love to make some mutual followers!!!!

I love Naib. He's so precious i want to cuddle and take ibuprofen with him. I'd like to write more about him if i stick around.

☆ ☆ ☆

-You are his soft spot.

-Everyone in the manor would notice that his attitude changes when he's alone with you.

-He is going to absolutely always have his eyes on you when you're near. It's his love language.

-Naib's life has been forever stained by his early years in poverty and fighting during war, after so many hardships he would definitely try his best to make his loved one feel safe. He couldn't stand losing someone close once again. Showing you that you can feel protected near him means the same as saying "i love you".

-Naib is a mature person but you may sometimes hear flirtatious compliments from him.

-He sometimes questions himself why do you love him. While he doesn't necessarily understand he doesn't need any answers - he will cherish the moment as long as it lasts, making sure you know he is devoted to you.

-Naib may be a little insecure, but he'd like you to think he actually isn't. Whenever you'd praise him he would answer "I know".

-He's not afraid of showing you affection in public. And while he's not going to make a big show out of it, he would simply kiss your palms and hold them. Or hold you by your waist, sending death glares. That's enough for everyone around to understand that you're his and if someone messes with you they better start running.

-If you ever tell him you feel threatened by someone, he will tell you to go to his dorm and take matters into his own hands. You can beg as much as you like, but he will never tell you what he did.

-When someone hurts you, someone attempts to hurt him too.

-A lot of people may consider his ways rather weird, but to him, as someone who was forced to be the head of his household, defending his significant other is something very important.

-He would stand up for you every time.

-If no one is paying attention to what you're saying, he'd quickly tell everyone to let you speak.

-When he comes back injured from a match, if it's not something life threatening, he prefers when you take care of him. He's capable of bandaging himself etc. but the fact that his dearest one worries about him makes him feel loved.

-While Naib is protective it doesn't mean he believes you are defenseless. He will respect if you want to be individual, he hopes you understand that you are free to do whatever you desire, though if in need, he will instantly be there. If you are scared or anxious, please come to him.

-He may not be the tallest, but he is still strong, he wouldn't mind carrying you if you're tired.

-If you ask him to teach you some self defense moves, he would proudly instruct you.

-He may not always read you properly. But he's not doing it on purpose. Tell him about your mood and he'll do anything in his power to cheer you up.

-His protectivness may lead to some arguments. He is not going to hesitate to scold you for doing something rather dumb.

-He could come out as mean sometimes.

-If you are injured, he is going to take it very seriously. That moment pulls a big trigger. Naib becomes very aggresive.

-He worries. A lot. He is afraid of hurting you because he is aware of his mental struggles. He may even raise his voice at you - but while it seems scary please be understanding. He's never had a lover before and he wants to shield you from danger. He tries to quickly apologize to you.

-He just needs you to be safe.

-Communication is key in your relationship.

-Early in your relationship, there may be some misunderstandings. At first glance, Naib may seem closed off. He is not the best with his words.

-He TRIES for you.

-As a soldier, he developed an unhealthy habit of keeping every emotion to himself. It will take a lot of time for both of you to open up. You promised to Naib that if anything ever bothers you, you will immediately talk to him. And vice versa.

-He's a man of few words, he may struggle with talking you through it, however he's going to make sure his partner feels comforted and heard.

-His advices are always well thought and wise.

-You spend a lot of time together just talking about your worries, thoughts or hopes. Sometimes in his bed, sometimes on a peaceful walk. He may make a few comments, or give advice if you ask him, though he mainly just listens carefully and holds you. He wants you to feel like he's a boulder that stabilizes you.

-While supporting you, he has issues with opening up with his worries. He fears you would call him weak.

-Naib struggles with PTSD, therefore he's also in need of comfort and reassurance. He likes when you ground him, by covering him with your body, your face hidden in his chest. But there are also times when he may push you away during one of those times. It's important for you to keep talking to him. Not shaming him for who he is.

-He desires honesty.

-He'd like you to sing him to sleep.

-He is a considerate lover. While he rarely initiates any touches without reason or words of affirmation, Naib shows his love by being with you.

-But when the touches or kisses ARE initiated, you know he absolutely means it all.

-Speaking of which, he doesn't have a need to take you out for fancy dates. But don't take it wrong. He thinks all you need is spending time together, simply in bed or on a walk in solitude. If you don't feel like talking - that is fine too. You can sit on the grass and watch him train. Those are worth more than the most expensive restaurant. That doesn't mean he will never take you to a more lively place though.

-Naib isn't also keen on huge, extravagant gifts. Roses, necklaces, love letters are his favourite of showering his lover with romance.

-He is a good listener. He remembers several small details about your interests or preferences.

-Extremely supportive. He may not word it directly, but he worships you. Your inside and outside. He would very indescretely check you out when you wear something pretty.

-If you ask nicely, he is going to give you some of his clothing. He feels absolutely proud of the fact that his love wants to wear something that is his AND he could smell them when wearing it later.

-He would keep a photo of you in his pocket, along with a photograph of his mother. He captioned it "My treasure" in his native tongue. He never tells you what it means.

-His favourite photo of you is a picture of you wearing his elbow pads.

-Pet names are not his thing. Though on rare occasions he will refer to you as his love, or his treasure.

-A treasure he worships and is willing to die for. Naib may be very reckless when it comes to your safety. You have to make sure he is well taken care of as well. He enjoys taking baths with you, when you wash his hair and cuddle.

-Although enjoyable, he sometimes may push away your need for physical closeness. He just sometimes needs to be left alone. It's always good to ask if he would like to be touched. Consent is very important for Naib. He doesn't mind it if you are very clingy. In fact, it makes him feel appreciated. He himself though thinks that intimate contact is meant only for special situations.

-One of the few ways into his heart is, of course, through his stomach. He loves waking up to breakfast made by his lover. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just the fact that you cared enough to prepare something for him is enough.

-He would love to show you some traditional nepali dishes and guide you while preparing them!

-As cliche as it seems, he'd like it if you'd directly feed him.

-I feel like he swears a lot, both in english and nepali. You'd unawarely pick up a few of them because of him. He would feel surprised that you paid so much attention to him you even managed to memorize a few words in a foreign language.

-He'd teach you a few sentences in nepali if you'd ask.

☆ ☆ ☆

This took longer than expected to. The way i had to post this once again because of a certain issue. Ijbol... i'm kind of intimidated by this fandom. By the way if anyone's reading this i'd love to do William headcanons next omg

[liskantope]

It's happened again on Freddie's blog. *sigh*

And it's annoying, because on the one hand, I completely sympathize with FdB's frustration that commenters (albeit a very small handful of commenters, who are presumably not earlier offenders because those would already have been banned?) continue to outright disobey his very clear rules. On someone else's blog, you should respect what the host wants the vibe to be in their comments sections even if you feel the host's preferences are unreasonable, instead of pretending you didn't understand them the first five times he told you, ya know?

And on the other hand, it's like, Freddie, did you really think nobody in your audience would reach as far as connecting (at least in their minds) a post about transracial identities to the topic of transgender identities? I suppose that you're going to say yet again that part of your audience has some bizarre pathological fixation with trans rights stuff because they have a tendency to bring up our culture war battleground du jour every time you rant about people constructing an identity around race or constructing their identity around a (real or perceived) mental illness, because you just can't imagine why criticizing a fixation on an internally felt identity would possibly bring the whole trans issue to people's minds (gee, these people would think a convo about tax rates is an excuse to bring up trans stuff, they're so obsessed!)?

This time we did get one brief, very dismissive paragraph from FdB on why racial identity is significantly different from gender identity, which I think I could have argued better from the perspective of there being scientific evidence for an internally-felt gender region of the brain which doesn't have an analog for race. (Of course, it would bring up thorny questions of how many of today's younger newly-self-identified trans people actually have that sort of thing going on in their brains.) I myself a few years back wrote down my off-the-cuff thoughts contrasting being an otherkin with transness in favor of transness being an entirely valid thing. I still don't really see why FdB couldn't write a (much more polished) post of this sort (disabling the comments section for it, of course) to address the issue, instead of just being instantly dismissive of anyone who disagrees with him on it.

Note by the way how FdB straight-up says that the only people who don't get the obvious difference between the experiences of race identity and gender identity are the ones with a transphobic agenda. It doesn't feel in keeping with his perspective as a contrarian whose own political agenda is constantly mischaracterized.

I will say that this behavior is tipping me further in favor of the more charitable interpretation of FdB where he is just being honest and his intentions are purely in support of the LGBTQ community against comments he finds offensive, and that he genuinely can't understand how some people could be so dumb/obsessed as to connect any of his criticisms of some failure modes in self-identity to the trans thing.

By the way, on the topic of having an "obsession" with the debate over trans rights, again, do you really think the trans-activist part of the Left doesn't try to relate everything it can to trans rights? I recently ran into this article, which has some possibly quite valid points about LGBTQ people having worse housing and health care access and therefore being more vulnerable to climate change, but in my opinion really tenuous and reaching with some arguments like how there are higher rates of smoking in the LGBTQ community so they are affected worse by air pollution, therefore pollution is an LGBTQ-rights issue. I'm not saying that the Right doesn't also try to make as much as possible about trans issues as well, because I'm sure nowadays it absolutely does, I'm just not exposed to nearly as much fully right-wing content. But I am saying that both sides reach pretty far to relate everything to trans rights, because that's what both sides in a culture war do with the most hot-button culture war topic, and that they're reaching much farther than a bunch of FdB-readers who bring it up mainly in response to blog posts about self-identity.

So, yeah. I'm really going to try to shut up about this now, because it's clearly a situation that isn't going anywhere new or productive anytime soon.

[the-firebird69]

Bruce Lee's little fanboy, but not limited to any form of martial arts #...

This guy helps to harm Bruce Lee who is missing and we're going to make him do the job it's one of these weird people here who thinks he's cool and the powerful one and he is going to get his ass kicked every time don't you get on purpose and we agree and these guys are the ones for the job and it is going on fairly soon they said and they're going to try and get a car down before he has money all sorts of dumb s*** but a lot of people are not going to let that happen like us

Jet li you do know what we're saying and the max actually are going to make it work that way too

We don't need to tell you what would happen if you follow through that and such and yeah it's somebody else doing it and you're having a real war and he says I'm going to be crucified and I get a Jesus complex and I die as him with his image. He says I really need it it'll correct my behavior and I'm an elf and a loss and stuff and I'm saying that but really it's disgusting how greedy I am it says I'm not greedy at all I'm just stupid and a turd and ridiculous and wrecking my own realm and theirs and don't care I sort of don't and he says yeah people use that kind of thing and people get you there and they don't know what the effect is and I'm actually saying I should probably get him funds but probably won't and he says he'll sell the car and I'll get the s*** kicked out of me and get crucified and go to tighten and die and that's probably why good he says people will see it gets something it's probably going to happen that way

Trump

Probably

Hera Zues hahaha LOL you're such a freaking moron that's fun it's supposed to be quiet and just say that I want to say stuff like you're a f**** Joel watts and your steaming f**** and you're not a good actor or faker or a liar or cheat you're just this piece of s*** and all your s***'s rotting they pull it out in a lot of it's no good you have to get the ordinance out so it won't blow up that's probably your ass and I ain't playing sit around until it explodes and we have that but that's the mean three theme we think we for an earthquake from us doing stuff and it's seen in a movie and you thought it was working but no that's when we couldn't get to it's something I don't know where and it's blown up on purpose and they say it's because you're idiots are still there LOL and robots and we see a leave and it's like the last time and you're going to die just go around he just said you keep coming back and people keep saying no it's a message we use a method and boy you stupid you were doing it right and I don't want to do anything and you're a lazy f****** this is not even a plan

Olympus

[thewul]

Meet the world's grumpiest cat, he should be like that but older, notice he has short legs, he doesn't seem to care about combing his hair either

He has to kill every mouse customer that walks into the shop, give them what they need send them on their way

War veteran, he's smart too he knows that he couldn't run the noodle's shop on his own, and being grumpy like that, he keeps to the kitchen and presents the waitress as his charm offensive

He's the behind the scenes stuff, but sometimes customers complain that it is taking too much time, mostly young, they pick on him, it's part of the experience

The kitchen is a small room in the back, at times he is behind the counter to set up dishes that he brings from the kitchen, help the waitress during rush hour

He finds youth lacking reverence and being always in a hurry about everything, but our trader approaches him about his war picture that's slightly better

He doesn't do that when the shop is very busy, he waits for the right moment after rush hour when things are quieter, grumpy, he's not the approach with caution stuff but he isn't the smiling stuff either

Yes well that young fool wants to know about the war picture, but he wants to know what are his intentions towards his waitress because he has been observing what's going on

He has been observing him too, he wants to know where he's from, what is he doing in Korea, what does he do for a living and how long he is staying here, doesn't he has a wife to go back to, men should be married at his age

Friendly he's not, he knows that the young fool is interested very interested in his waitress, and he has to fend off the young fool if he turns out to be just that

And you'd better not lie to the grumpy old man tell him that you're a trader when you quit, because he can read liar written on people's foreheads when they do

What you can do is present your case, you're interested in the waitress, you quit your job to stay in Korea and you're looking for work, he's ok with that at least you're honest, not a flat tire

And what kind of work is that you don't speak any Korean, at the same time the young fool has noticed that the noodle's shop is a lot of work that they could use extra hands, well he's honest and not dumb, which is not a bad place to start

But it doesn't pay much, it's not like I am going to make him rich that one, put him the kitchen pay him little money make him work hard that's if he really is serious about my waitress, if not he can go take pictures like the rest of them until his plane ticket is about to expire

What have I to lose, make him wash dishes set up meals maybe, if he quits after a couple of days because its too much work he will have shot himself in the foot, and my waitress cannot reproach me anything but she will if I don't give this young fool a chance

Especially with all the work that we have, well he doesn't look like he needs much, how much are you renting that room, too much of course because you're a foreigner that's why, but you can eat here save some money find out how expensive weddings are later

That's if you don't break any dishes that will come off your pay end up with nothing, but if it's just some dishes and I can rid of him so much the better

Well I knew the young fool had something, fast with his hands, first day on the job didn't break any dishes, even had extra time to learn to set up dishes and read his cooking book, about noodles, it's been a while we didn't have so much to do in a single day

He had experience in a restaurant during his studies, some experience is that, the plates are ordered by size, even the bowls, everything is clean, and the kitchen utensils are hanging exactly where he found them...

He's not such a fool after all and he works hard, why not its tourist season I have tourists here on top of the regular customers, see how it goes

Came on time, if he keeps coming on time and doing all that work it's sure worth his pay and meals

Not constantly blabbering about nonsense like the youngsters usually do, quite silent actually and only speaks when spoken to during work, there's education there maybe he's wealthy even, unlike a spoiled brat and more like someone who knows the value of hard work

Why he's working here for little money, he's not the type that is going to sit idle live off his family's wealth if I am right, he does look like he comes from a wealthy family, mostly his disregard for status and appearances, washing dishes and setting up plates in the back kitchen

Which is only something that you can do if you had plenty of money but didn't depend on it depended on yourself instead, trying to it make in Seoul on his own, he's serious about his relationship or he wouldn't do that, however I consider the situation he comes correct

He didn't concede defeat or accept failure, he keeps trying until the odds against become odds in favor, maybe its not the choices that everyone else would make but what good is it to be everyone else, might as well be nobody in that case

Maybe even he's not trying, he's doing, if I raise his wage a bit that's an income small but still, he has a job, an income, a place to stay, a serious relationship, that's as good as anyone else is doing here even Koreans, go back to America with his bride after a while, that's what I would have done if I was his age

It takes courage to do that and determination, which is what a young man has to be about, face the odds of life not shy away from them, it might not be easy but nothing is, what did easy do for me nothing, I have been working hard as early as I can remember, and then there was war

[killmebythebeach]

That one Dream mindreader post by @lilyvines cuz it hasn't left my head (no pun intended)

...

Please. Just. Something.

...

Dream smiled. He had this war in the bag, 100%. Not only was he way more competent than any of them, he also had a traitor planted, and not to mention his mind reading.

He was on top of the black stone wall. It would be impossible for the revolutionaries to not notice him, he definitely saw Tommy and Tubbo look up at him, but they knew it would be futile to chase him out.

Dream peered down, looking into their run down van. He dug into their "president's" mind, hoping to get an edge in the upcoming war.

My... oh gosh I'm tired. I should go talk to Tomm- do I really want to talk to Tommy right now though. I should check up on them though and make sure they don't die. Or fight Dream he'll get all pissy about that. Is... I can't tell if that's new or not and I don't want to ask. Eh. Maybe I will ask just so I can make fun of it-

Dream shook his head, unteathering his mind. YIKES. While learning nothing important, at least whatever that was boosted his confidence. Okay then, he should check Tommy's mind. While loud and annoying, there must be SOME reason he was the "general's" right hand man.

Dream instinctively covered his ears, even if he knew it wouldn't block out a brain's noise, at the sound of some awful "music". He couldn't tell if it was a mix of string instruments of flutes or both but the high notes pierced his ears and the low notes just didn't sound good. Dream gritted his teeth and dug deeper, refusing to leave without SOMETHING.

Oh my gosh I am going to- what am I going to do- I'm going to scam! Oh I need to talk to Wilbur (Wilbur!) Oh and Tubbo! Tubbo Tubbo oh what is he doing I'm going going to go and... gah. Okay who's someone I can antagonize with no consequence uhm Sapnap wouldn't care too much but that's boring hmmmm...

Dream felt his eyes blurring as thoughts whipped around in his head. He was almost in awe of the pace Tommy talked at, he wondered how much got filtered into his mouth not because the boy had a filter, but simply due to the aerodynamics of his brain.

Maybe Fundy had something? Surely Wilbur would tell his own SON something. Anything. Please, just anything.

Dream jumped at the electronic sound of Fundy's brain. Like a TV fizzing out, loud beeping and static. He could almost SEE the white and grey and black fuzz.

Why we're they like this. At least he could see how someone was dumb enough to try and fight him, none of these people have ever had a coherent thought.

I've got my shovel and my trousers and my hat and da- Wilbur's in the van... would he want to see me? Should I tell him about my dream or about my new invention or- no he doesn't want to see me maybe I'll go hang with Eret yeah Wil's busy with planning and stuff-

Ugh. Dream could FEEL the daddy issues leaking off of the tinkerer. The best part to Dream was that Wilbur could DEFINETLY use a break from his own thoughts, and also definetly wasn't doing any war planning.

He peered down at the idiots, and not that he would ever admit it, begging for any valuable information.

There! Eret was over by the lake, laying down in the grass like a corpse. He specifically asked them to gather info, they were his mole, after all. Even if they couldn't root and burrow through minds, Eret must have picked up SOMETHING through their observations or even verbally.

Okay I got to think of something cool to say, do fish spawn in this water? I kind of want to say hi to- what was that song I heard earlier that Fundy showed me... I'll remember it eventually and ooh! Can't wait till I'm king I'm gonna have such a cool outfit and castle and crown and hehe hehe what would I even do as king actually would I have to put it through Dream? Probably. Maybe I should...

Dream groaned. WHY DOES NO ONE IN THIS "COUNTRY" HAVE SECRETS TO EXPLOIT?!?!

Dream paused, considering for the first time that any time they had anything on their minds they WOULD just say it out loud.

The van door creaked as Tubbo went up the rickety steps. Tubbo!

Surely- SURELY- Tubbo knew something. Easily impressionable Tubbo, very clever but never spoke on any of his ideas. Dream might have considered him a threat in another world if he had any motivation to finish projects or didn't just follow around the others like a lost puppy.

Like they said, crouching moron hidden badass. There was no way Tubbo wouldn't have something. Dream leaned forward, digging into Tubbo's mind.

I should make a bee house what's a bee house called... like an aviary but bees and... maybe I should ask Wilbur he knows a lot of words or Eret but how would I make it I need glass and oh my gosh what is Tommy doing! Tommy Tommy Tommy! He's about to do something stupid that's going to be funny- oh gosh what if I'm doing something stupid right now and everyone's thinking the same thing and-

Dream jumped out of the boys mind before he got stuck in the spiraling thoughts.

There was. NO WAY. These were the people he was fighting a whole ass war with. HE ENLISTED one of these guys, and this was their peak performance. Middle of a war. Bees, songs, and executive disfunction on the brain.

Dream spent a good minute up on the wall, contemplating his life, before jumping off and walking home.

Sure he had the war in the bag, but now he was more concerned for the L'manburgians than anything.

Well, at least HE didn't have any planning to do.

[mercurysstars]

All That Glitters Is Not Gold (part 6)

Summary: Y/n gets hired to be the avengers chief physician and also happens to be an ex assassin.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: swearing, the reader getting angry, violence. 

A/N: hope you’re having a better day than Y/n ;)

𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦

𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬��𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥

𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨?

_

Y/n's stomach grumbled as she made her way toward the kitchen. Between getting her room organized and training with Peter for 2 hours she didn't get a chance to eat and it was really catching up with her now. She groaned rubbing her face while she yanked the refrigerator door opened. After searching for several minutes she decided to give up and make a sandwich.

Y/n grabbed the bread and a plate out of a cupboard, she returned to the fridge and pulled out meat, cheese, lettuce, and just as she was about to grab a tomato her phone rang. Without checking the caller ID, Y/n answered, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Y/n Y/l/n speaking."

"Hey, doc it's Matt we've got kinda a situation here." Matt hesitated, Y/n could hear muffled yelling in the background.

"Okay? What's up?" She was confused it wasn't like him to call out of the blue and it was especially weird for him to not sound sure of himself, he was a lawyer, and lawyers always put on a confident front even if they weren't. Y/n began to cut the tomato into thin slices.

"So I kinda have one of his men tied to a chair in my living room." He blurted out quickly.

Well, that was unexpected "Are you sure it's one of his?" She asked cautiously.

"Yeah I checked, he has the branding. I normally would have just questioned him and texted you but the thing is he only speaks Latin."

She sighed, all Y/n wanted to do was eat 5 sandwiches, snuggle up in her comfortable bed and binge-watch the umbrella academy "Alright put him on the phone."

Y/n heard what sounded like the phone getting set down and the floorboard squeaking under Matt's weight. She heard a bit of wrestling and the sound of tape getting ripped off of something. She heard a quick shuffling and Matt picked the phone back up "Here he is."

"Sumus iens ut satus off facile. cur in New York." She questioned. Y/n started to make her sandwich again. We are going to start off easy. Why are you in New York?

"Im 'non adnuntiant vobis cacas." He hissed. This man was definitely one of his. Y/n rolled her eyes not in the mood for this. I'm not telling you shit.

"Iniuriam. Te volo experior quod iterum?" She purred. Wrong. You want to try that again?

At that moment Bucky decided to wander into the kitchen he heard someone speaking Latin and his curiosity got the better of him. He saw Y/n leaning against the counter talking to someone on the phone. Her eyes snapped up to meet his 'You want one' she mouthed to him nodding toward her sandwich. He shook his head and she shrugged.

The muffled talking through the phone caused an angry tick to Y/n's jaw "Pone super daredevil." She gritted out through clenched teeth. Put daredevil back on.

Y/n had to take a moment to collect herself before she threw something at the wall "Hey I'll be there in a bit." She hung up and when she turned back to Bucky her face softened.

He didn't know what to say, he's never seen someone 180 that quickly in his long life "Quite the conversation you had going on there." He tried to break the silence.

She chuckled nonchalantly "Oh yeah just some idiot that won't do what he was told."

"I didn't know you knew how to speak other languages." He quipped.

Oh Bucky you only know a part of me, I am a universe full of secrets she thinks. "I don't kiss and tell Sarge." She instead said.

Right after the words left her mouth Tony walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Sunshine I've got a meeting so I'm going to have to cancel for tonight."

Y/n's eyes lingered on Bucky for a few seconds then she turned to Tony "Convenient because I have some business in Hell's Kitchen to take care of."

Tony opened his mouth to press further until she added "Don't ask because you don't want to know."

Bucky ever the curious couldn't help himself or keep his mouth shut and blurted "What if I want to know."

Y/n raised an eyebrow at the super-soldier, amused "Would torturing a man until he confesses answer your question?"

She turned and walked out of the kitchen. Bucky's eyes went comically wide "She's joking right?"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose at her recklessness and shook his head "Stay safe." He yelled back to Y/n.

_

Y/n let herself into Matt's apartment he have given her a key when he moved in. When Y/n was younger her father decided that she needed further training so he hired a blind war vet that specialized in martial arts. There she met Matt they clicked instantly him being only 2 years old, he taught them how to hear things others couldn't smell more things that you wouldn't believe was possible, how to heal faster, and even how to fight without seeing.

Y/n walked down the poorly lit hallway leading to his living room just wanting to get think over with. In the living room, the man had a cloth covering his eyes, hands were tied behind the chair behind his back and each leg was tied to the bottom of the chair. Matt was leaning against the counter already waiting for her arrival, he nodded toward her, acknowledging her presence.

Y/n sauntered over to the man, she lifted up the corner of his shirt and tisked "Mark of Cain, definitely one of his men."

The man began to thrash around hearing her voice, she pulled the eye cover off and smirked "Heu est dere." Hey there hun.

"Pedicabo ego vos bitch." He spat furiously.  fuck you bitch.

Y/n frowned at him "Bene quod suus 'non ut salutaret domina." That's no way to greet a lady.

She stood up and patted his cheek giving him a sickening smile that gave him the chill "Sit scriptor committitur. Cur ipse mittet vobis?" Let's start. Why did he send you?

"Irrumabo." He growled, the man jumped at her but the restraints didn't allow him to get far. Suck my dick.

Annoyance began to trickle down her spine and anger rushed through her body. "ego suadeant vos satus loquentes." She snapped in an angry tone. I suggest you start talking.

"Terrebis me non ex vobis, qui non vis tua boyfriend est vulputate." I'm not scared of you or that want to be superhero boyfriend of yours.

No longer being able to control her anger Y/n grabbed him by his hair and tilted his face up "Take a vultus, vultus diu, et bonum dicitur lets videre tua si adhuc durat." She fumed. Take a look, a good long look, and let's see if your statement still stands.

The man studied her face for several moments before recognition flickered through his eyes "Lamia." He breathed. Lilith.

"Nunc autem dic mihi, quid invenerunt in me pater meus!" She shouted her patience ran out long ago and she didn't hesitate to show it. Now tell me how he found me!

"Cur te et ipsum interrogate." The man taunted. Why don't you go and ask him.

The grip on his hair tightened and she lowered down eye level to him "Ego suadeant tu dicas, quod primus est I. cut off vos erant 'iens ut ne nimis" she pulled out her knife and nodded downward. I suggest you tell me because the first thing I cut off you're not going to like very much.

The man's eyes went wide and he attempted to squeeze his legs together. Fear settled into his stomach, he didn't know if she would keep her promise but he also didn't want to find out.

"Hoc tantum scio, aliquem cum Vindices compositis ei" He squeaked out. All I know is someone at the Avengers compound told him.

She didn't let her shook show, she kept her face cold and calculated even though her heart was beating a million miles per minute. "Si igitur deus, auxilium tu mihi mendacem." So help me God if you're lying.

"Im 'non ego promissionem." He exclaimed and Y/n believed him, she tended to have that effect on people. I'm not I promise.

"O Deus, hes 'iens ut interficias me." He muttered shaking his head. Oh god, he's going to kill me.

The man kept whispering to himself and Y/n grew tired and shoved a sock in his mouth. She stood back up and turned to Matt. "Dump him on 23rd street, my father will take care of him soon enough."

_

Y/n blew on her hot cocoa watching the mini marshmallows swirling around, sure it the middle of September but it was her comfort drink. She tried to go over everyone she knew in the compound. How could she be so dumb? How could she let her guard down? She was trained better than this. It didn't matter now what she did or didn't do, but Y/n knew she wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Y/n could hear the elevator ding from her office and she was confused. All the Avengers were either busy with training or on a mission. She set down her mug on her desk.  A blonde head of hair peaked its head in. "Dr. Y/l/n?"

"Teresa how can I help you?" She questioned. Y/n was confused as to why she was up here Teresa shouldn't even be able to get past the 5th floor.

Teresa stepped closer with her hands behind her back "I got a paper cut stapling some papers together and I came up here for a bandaid."

Teresa was looking everywhere but at her. Y/n could tell she was lying but about what? Then it clicked, how he found out where she was, the weird look she gave her, what Sam said about her sudden move down to the front desk, but then the question struck again. Why was she up- she was up here to kill her.

Teresa lunged at Y/n with the knife she had hidden in her hands behind her back. Y/n went to block but she wasn't quick enough and Teresa cut a long strip down her arm and she hissed, it hurt more than she remembered. Teresa went to slash her again but Y/n grabbed her wrist and twisted causing her to drop the knife.

Y/ n grabbed her mug and smashed it over her head, Teresa staggered backward falling into a bookshelf. Teresa cocked her gun and began to fire, Y/n leaped over the table to take cover behind her desk. Her gun was on the other side of the office strapped underneath a chair. Bullets blew past her body, she shielded her head with her arms, the gun clicked signaling it was out of bullets.

She rolled from under her desk onto her feet. This time Y/n rushed toward Teresa, she threw 2 punches which Teresa both blocked, but the 3rd one Y/n got a hit to her cheek. Teresa attempted to throw a kick but failed, she went down and swept her legs. Y/n fell backward, she rolled onto her hands and shoulder, she pushed up causing her to land right side up, Y/n's movements were a bit slower and staggered due to the blood loss.

Teresa went to hit her but then Y/n grabbed her arm and the back of her neck and smashed Teresa's face into a mirror. With a bloody face, Teresa peeled herself off the wall Y/n collapsed feeling lightheaded. Teresa stood over with her knife ready in hand, she brought her hand up into the air, but Y/n grabbed the from under her chair and shot her right between the eyes. Teresa collapsed backward and the knife slide across the floor.

"FRIDAY Initiate the red button protocol." She coughed out.

"Alerting Avengers now."

Y/n grabbed her arm and hissed, she shouldn't have collapsed this soon, even if it was a cut this big, and the sting was worst too, but then she put it together Teresa would have had a better chance to kill her if she laced the knife with something.

She heard Bucky calling out her name "In here." She chocked out. Bucky rounded the corner to her office and ran in, there were papers scattered everywhere, the desks and chairs knocked over, glass broken. He crouched beside Y/n she was fighting consciousness.

"No Y/n don't you fall asleep on me." He demanded putting her head in his lap.

"It'll be okay Buck." She patted his cheek in a comforting manner.

"No, no, no, hold on they will be here in 30 seconds" He pleaded. That was the last thing Y/n heard before everything went dark.

Part 7

[saturnsstufff]

I just wanna read something about Piglin brute man please

I am begging for this to be posted sat

🦋

Well, i dont have Kaz's done yet, but i can give you snippets of him!

(Heads up theres some NSFW)

Kazmir Infetrniosun Headcannons

Ok i shit on him for being the "dumb one" / "the Himbo" but this man is nothing dumb by any means. After all hes a Nether General.

Continuation: Kaz has seen a lot of death, hes also seen a lot of battles (i.e: Soul Sand Wars, Skeleton War, Fire-side Valley war). The Area his Queen Resides in is part of Soulsand Valley. The first time Kaz as a child, stepped on soulsand, he had souls pulling at his feet. Thus growing up, to handle all the death and fighting, he started getting a sence of humor. He likes playing dumb, he gets a good laugh out of it. It drives the other Generals Wild, which makes him do it more.

(I cant stress how intelligent this man is, so heres another thing) Before Kaz and Zier Liked eachother (back when being in the same room fustrated eachother). Zieran was having trouble with a few loose plans for his world, Kaz saw this and offered blunt Advice.

Continuation: Kaz didn't care about what Zier thought of him. He saw him as a spoiled bratty king that needed help playing chess, and Luckily. Kaz was a God at it. Kaz has a way of understanding people, and how they think. Hes been around humans much more than Zier. This is why as much as it grinded the Enderian court, to watch their king listen to a brute, at the end of the day, they were mad because he (an outsider) was right.

Ive said it Before, ima say it again. Zieran and Kazimir dispised eachother.

I mean this ran deep through them both. If a certian situation didnt happen with y/n, Kaz most likely would have been demoted/injured, due to Zieran's Possessiveness.

After all, like brutes, Enderian's dont share.

Continuation: They hated eachother so much in the beginning because Zieran worked to win your hand. He courted you several times (even if you weren't aware), after Marriage, Zieran did everything to show who you, your body, and mind belonged to. He just couldn't fathom that a Random Brute thought the world of you too. ( not in the sence that your ugly, But in the idea "This is mine, how dare you think of touching them")

You showed up in the nether and Kaz was flirting the whole 9-yards. Complementing your outfits, suggesting to wear somthing cooler for the hot temperatures, asking if you like gold. This man was charming, and a little worm that Zieran wanted to crush.

Kaz couldnt pronounce Zierans name no matter how much he tried. So he took up "Princey"

Kaz isnt always strong and tough though (i know, hard to believe, men wear down too (joke)

Continuation: After the Marriage between Zier, Kaz, and you, he felt the full weight of what was happening. A lot of nights Zier and You would find him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. He would try and brush it off as tiredness, but you both knew better.

Sometimes he would cry, break and curl up between the two of you, gripping you tightly to his chest well holding onto Zieran's arm as well. You both were comfort to him. He felt safe and loved within your shared arms.

Zieran would praise him up the wall in these senarios. "Its alright Kazmir love, your safe here. Go ahead and let it out..." "we wont say anything" "you're a hard worker, a Strong man, and a wonderful General... You'll make a fine King..."

THIS IS NSFW:

Alright I cant remember if i touched on this, or if it was ever mentioned/inferred. But they get ruts.

And god forbid if they sync.

Zeir and Kaz did make a system for this however. Whoever is going through their rut, will step asside from the public and deal with it accordingly. (Aka fuck the problem away)

Whoever steps down, depends on what lover they want to help them. If Kaz ask's Zier, he will step down and You will Rule in both their absences. The same goes for if Zier or Kaz asked for you.

A lot of the time, they do ask for you though.

Kaz in Rut is rough. But. Hes also a brute so Zier expected that.

Continuation: Due to being a Seasoned warrior, mans got some stamina, and it shows. He will be gripping to your hips tightly, like his life depends on keeping you to him. Manhandling you around to any position he needs or wants. Somtimes he isnt aware of how rough he gets, othertimes he is, and he will babble apologies to you well he reaches his high. He will also babble and beg for him to knot you. He wouldnt ever do it without permission, so he always seeks your ok before doing it.

Zieran's rut isnt Rough, but it leaves him disheveled and a bit whiney/more vocal.

Im a firm believer this man keeps everything together, sex life, and domestic life included. He always has the clear head and knows what to do. But Kaz and you know when his rut approaches, just from how he starts to slip. He might fummble his words or start getting distracted. Then soon enough hes asking and begging to take one of you. His long hair draped over his shoulder in a messy-bed head pony tail. His face burried into your neck as he keeps your hips still so he can thrust in. It was the first time Kaz saw him be so needy for attention- he would have lied if he said he didn't like seeing his Prince beg for him.

[jukeboxhound]

apologies if you’ve already answered this, i just found ur post on it— why do you “hate watch” infinity war and endgame? i didn’t like endgame either and i’m going through marvel fatigue too, so i just wanna hear your opinion on it if you wanted to share 👀

OH BOY i am FULL OF OPINIONS and ALWAYS HAPPY TO SHARE THEM anon, ahahaha ❤

To be fair, a lot of my issues stem back to how the MCU framed Ultron and the Civil War. The question of accountability, in and of itself, is absolutely important, and there's so much richness and ethical complexity that could be pulled out and explored re: vigilantism vs. state-sanctioned violence, accountability, etc etc. The 616 comics flubbed it, but MCU just made it an absolute mess and, in doing so, actually undermined both the coherence and the moral fortitude of Steve's position entirely while still trying to make him the underdog hero (????). MCU as well as various comic lines have a habit of trying to make Captain America into Marvel's moral compass without really....doing it consistently or well at all, imo.

Anyway, so given that, because I'm salty about everything and also I was still a bit feverish from COVID at the time...

(Under a cut for both length and vitriol @ the MCU.)

Infinity War:

The consequences of the Civil War were just....swept aside and forgotten, which took one of the biggest events in Marvel's comic history and marked a HUGE change in the MCU and then...ignored it??? Because increasing the stakes of a conflict is the only way that too many content creators know how to create emotional tension but who don't want to deal with the emotional nuances/consequences in any meaningful way. (Cue a lot of interesting and infuriating film articles analyzing why films no longer have 'quiet scenes' and how the MCU really codified that.)

The rogue Avengers were reintroduced in a way that pushed hard on the 'misunderstood vigilante' trope, which, see above re: Civil War and my complete inability to buy into that, so it came off less as 'badass underdogs' and more 'oh, I am Misunderstood and Suffering Nobly and Broodingly.' I've been a goth for 20 years, I can smell that self-indulgent nonsense a mile away.

The Jossification of movie writing in which consistent characterization is sacrificed if it means a witty one-liner, but that's just the MCU as a whole at this point. It was fun when it was still 2000 and Buffy was a campy cute TV show already designed around this form of humor from the very start. It's boring, unimaginative, and bad writing at this point.

Changing Thanos to be an attempted commentary on...I guess environmentalism, but done badly, and by the Disney megacorporation no less (not for the first time; Disney's World of Tomorrow is even more heavyhanded about it), is just...look. Look. Just let him slaughter people because he wants to bone Death, pun totally intended, that's way more interesting as a plot point than whatever MCU tried to do.

Something about the way Wakanda was handled felt weird? It felt like the majority white US characters were once again taking precedence over any of Wakanda's story, I think, but I don't have language yet to pin down where my sense of wobbliness there is coming from exactly, just that a lot of the scenes set in Wakanda had me feeling ://// and like I needed someone to stuff Steve in a closet somewhere for a while.

And Endgame:

Steve as a peer counselor is the FUNNIEST FUCKING IDEA, I assume it's meant as an homage to Sam Wilson but HE'S THE ACTUAL WORST CHARACTER OPTION FOR THAT ROLE and that is my honest professional judgment, okay, dear gods. (This is not me just dunking him - I legitimately have reasons for this judgment.)

I'm tired of MCU treating Thor like a big dumb asshole. His character development has become a boring repeating cycle. It's like the writers or whomever just didn't know what to do with him but couldn't pretend he didn't exist. Cue the Lebowski jokes, I guess.

Really, it feels like MCU just doesn't care about its own characters and what gives each of them the depth that made them so beloved in the first place, period.

Gettin' real tired of people trying to redeem Howard fucking Stark in a way that feels like it's trying to minimize his impact on Tony. MCU!Howard doesn't seem nearly as bad as 616!Howard, but you can just let a character be Complicated! They don't have to be demonized or redeemed!

I was 100% here for RDJ's improv of yelling at Cap, though. :D

The final battle didn't give me warm fuzzies about Marvel's Big Three fighting together because there hasn't been emotional depth between them...ever*, really.

Honestly, none of the attempts at emotional depth ever landed for me. But then, I've never been sold on the chemistry for any of the canon relationships, romantic or otherwise, even back in IM2 for Pepperony.

The biggest emotional takeaway for me was the realization that nothing - not Howard, not torture, not SHIELD - was able to break Tony's heart and will the way that the loss of the Avengers was able to. And that makes sense, it does.........but I truly don't believe that that's what MCU was ever intending to imply. 🙃

Pepper suddenly ending up in a suit after multiple movies of her hating the armor didn't make any sense to me (unlike her role as Rescue in 616).

I'm on board with other folks who point out the ethical dubiousness, at best, of reversing the snap FIVE YEARS LATER.

The final battle felt like a) another 'let's up the stakes for emotional tension' issue and b) a narratively contradictory choice since so much of the MCU was DEFINED by the very question regarding the tragedy of superhero battles, and the CGI made it look like it went waaaaaay beyond the limits of the Compound.

*The Avengers (2012) isn't exactly flawless and fuck Joss Whedon forever, but at least it felt like it was setting up the MCU with the potential for the fun of 616's early New Avengers era in which the Avengers were dorks in the tower. There was potential! Fandom in 2012 was based on real canon! And then MCU went fuck all of you, I guess.

ANYWAY I HOPE THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR, ANON ❤

[golden-barnes]

Divinità

Prologue: Salvezza

Bucky Barnes X F! Reader

Description of the series: Au! Divinità. A deity. A goddess. One that Bucky has only seen 3 times before and now he can’t get Y/N out of his head. So he decided to put an idealized version of Y/N in his books. But what will happen when he gets to meet the real Y/N? Will you still be his deity?

Summary: (Salvation) The three times Bucky has seen Y/N and how his life changed because of that.

Warning: Curse words, grumpy Bucky, ptsd attacks and war mentions

Word count:1.5k words (I think that’s a lot for a prologue but I got carried away) 

A/N: I (loosely) based this off the Dante Alighieri and Beatrice Portinari story but with a modern twist. This is my first series in years, so I am a little rusty but I am very excited about it.

Past:

The first time he saw her: 

James Buchanan Barnes hated the center. And he made it goddamn clear that it was the worst and that he rather be anywhere else than there. After coming home from his last tour, with one less hand, Sam and Steve decided it would be for the best that he went to the Military Rehabilitation Center. He understood why they wanted him to get help and it wasn’t like they forced him, he truly wanted to get better. He was grateful that they cared about him so much to help him. And the center helped him a lot. He was getting fewer nightmares. The nurses were nice. He likes his physical therapist, even though he thinks that she underestimates him. But he is making some progress, more than anyone in the center. The food is decent, a lot better than what he ate when he was stationed. He liked going to the small library that they had in the center. There was a little park next to the center that he likes to go for a run in the mornings. He was finally starting to feel normal, or rather as normal as he could possibly get. 

His psychologist, on the other hand, is a nuisance. It wasn’t that he is a bad guy, it’s just that Bucky hates talking about himself and he swears the psychologist is out to get him.Sam thinks that he is just being dramatic but he still claims that he hates him. He recommended (even though Bucky says that he ordered him) to keep a journal. To fuck with him, Bucky decided to write some random things. They were borderline poems but Bucky would never admit that. In one of his journal entries, he wrote  about some french fries he ate in Belgium. One time he just rambled about a blue bird. Doc wasn’t pleased with that one in particular.

“You have to write about your feelings, Mr Barnes. That is what the journal is for.” He reprimanded  him in one of his sessions. But Bucky wasn’t going to go down without a fight. That is until today.

His session with the irritating physiologist started normal. The whole "How do you feel Barnes?" and "did you have any nightmares last night or any anxiety attacks?"  Which the answer was yes. He didn't particularly wake up on the right side of the bed. Meaning that this session was getting on his nerves more than usual.

Then there was a knock on a door before he could answer the doctor's questions.

"Excuse me, doctor. The director told me to come get you. Apparently there's a situation in the lunchroom." From the door emerged the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. Her presence just filled the room, in a way he has never seen. It was as if she was radiating calmness. For a few minutes, all of his worries and his fears just vanished. His mind was only focused on her. On the way her eyes were warm and made him feel comfort. On the smile she was giving him. Oh that smile. He knew that he was now addicted to it and would do anything to see it again.

“Behold, a deity stronger than I; who coming, shall rule over me.”

 Was the first thing that came into his mind when she left the room with the psychologist. That night when he wrote in his journal, he wrote about her. 

A month later;

The second time he saw her

Veteran’s day in the center wasn’t as fun as a lot of people think it is. It would be crowded with family members. Kids would bring their toys to show them to their grandparents. There would be a cookout outside for all the vets and their families. Even fucking games, there were little challenges and shit for the families to have fun with. The ruckus was too much for Bucky. Bucky always made it a point not to celebrate this holiday.

 “First of all, it’s dumb. If you wanted to do something for the veterans, maybe you should give the centers more money to operate. And, I don’t know, make more fucking centers. Second of fucking all, why make so much noise? Seriously, can’t we have ONE silent holiday?” He once told Sam and Steve. To which Sam replied with a “stop being such a grumpy motherfucker”.

This year, he decided to hide in the library instead of his room. He wanted to finish this new book Steve brought him in peace and quiet. And since the library was on the other side of the rehabilitation center, he knew it was gonna be his little safe haven. What he didn’t expect was to see her there.

He stopped at the entrance, astonished and amazed. With a flowy flower dress and peonies in her hand. She was looking at the books that they had. Running her fingers over the spines of the books. Why would she have flowers? Why was she here? Was she staying?

She turned around to see him and gave him the same addicting smile that she gave him the other day.

“I thought I was going to be the only one here. I was just looking at the books. Don’t worry I’m going to leave.” Bucky swears her voice is like honey to his ears. His senses were overpowered by the smell of her perfume. Was that vainilla? Or was it cinnamon? He couldn't guess. He was stuck there. He couldn’t talk or move. She gave him another warm smile, one that made her eyes crinkle a bit. Bucky would bet anything to have her permanently smile like that.

“Oh before I leave, here’s a flower. Happy veteran’s day. Thank you for everything” She gave him one of her peonies. Their fingers slightly touched and Bucky felt a small shock. He probably looked super dumb to her. With widened eyes and his mouth slightly opened, he probably looked like an idiot. Damn it Bucky, she might think that you are a creep. 

She smiled again and pointed at the door. Fuck, I haven’t moved from the entrance. She can’t pass. Way to go Barnes! 

“Thank you soldier.”She winked at him. But little did she know that he wouldn’t stop thinking of her wink. 

Another one for the journal, I guess. He thought letting his mind run wild with the image of her.

Two months later; 

The third time he saw her

James Buchanan Barnes was consumed by two thoughts. Number one, he had finished all his physical therapy and his nightmares and panic attacks were less, but he was much better at dealing with it. So that means that it was his last week at the center. He was so happy. He has already said goodbye to all the nurses, his doctors and he even said a nice goodbye to his insufferable psychologist, who he in the end grew to like. He was packing all his things and was waiting in the reception area for Steve to pick him up.

His second thought was her. He hadn’t seen her since that Veteran’s day where he acted like an idiot in front of her. Fucking damn it. But he couldn’t stop thinking of her. Almost every night since then, he kept writing about her. It was like his brain was trapped in a box, captured until he wrote out everything he could about her. He never even formed a formal conversation with her, but he still couldn’t help but think about her. About how her presence soothes him. How her smile filled him with joy. How the flower she gave him was the most important thing he has ever received. Hell, he learned how to press flowers and made it into his bookmark. 

“These last entries were really good Mister Barnes. It is like something I would see in a poetry book.” His psychologist once noted. And he couldn't help to agree with him. She had become his muse. And I don’t even know her name.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. As if Bucky called her with his mind, she appeared. With the same heart melting smile and the brightest aura. The receptionist even smiled when she saw her. She walked in, and the room got lighter. Can a human glow? Because Bucky thinks that she is glowing, as if small specks of glitter were emanating from her body and reflecting back at him. Did it make sense? Not one bit, but Bucky couldn’t describe it any other way. 

“Good morning Y/N. I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up again.”  Y/N let out a soft chuckle at the receptionist’s words. She reached to sign in the sign in list. 

“Buck! Hey buddy, ready to go?” Steve had walked in and Bucky hadn’t even noticed

“Ye-yeah. Let’s go” Grabbing his bags, he started to walk out the center. But not without giving Y/N one last look.

If salvation had another name, Bucky would bet his life that it was Y/N.

[itspdameronthings]

mysterious house

Summary: Here is my entry for @autumnleaves1991-blog's writing challenge. combined with my favorite show charmed( original) with star wars. poe comes to visit a friend. then finds something mysterious about her. hope the fans of charmed like this. for the ones that never seen it? you will love it.

Losing a loved one is never easy for some. No matter if it was from cancer, accident or violent act. The Organa family has been through so much in the last few years. Melinda Organa lost her brother, Ben, her father,and uncle. Now her mother, leia.now she is the only one left not counting your baby sister Rey. Hard for her to shed any tears. All she did was smile through her pain.

After the funeral. Guests come to her Victorian house. Which belonged to her family. Full of history and mystery. Police have been hounding her for the cause of her familys' deaths. If she tells them the truth? They would put her in a padded cell.

Poe Dameron drives up to the house. Look at it. In his mind it hasn't changed since he used to come by to visit Melinda. Last time was when she went away to college. Found out she came back when there was a family situation that caused her to move back home. Forced to leave toher dream job. Working at an auction house. Now she works at a museum. All he wanted was comfort his friend. That is what she needs.

Going inside sees a few familiar faces. Finn for one. Even Rey. Went over to chat with them. Asked about Melinda. All they could say was that you were in no mood to talk. Just wanted to be left alone. Heeding their advice. Go to the dining room. Sees Melinda sitting alone. Staring off in space. Didn't acknowledge anyone being in the room. Or the feel of Poe's large hand on her shoulder caused her to freak out! Meaning she almost used her special gift on him. Instead she turned around," are you dumb or just plain stupid! Want to be alone! Did Fin and Rey tell you that! That includes you. " kneeling in front of her. Take her hand," look I'm sorry for not being able to come sooner. Was hard to find a pilot to switch flights with. I'm here as long as you need me. I know I haven't been a good friend to you mel. I'm here now. To help you." She sighs," what could you have done huh! Tell me what ! I'm crazy! Saying my mom died from something no one could ever explain to anyone else! Sorry dameron. I don't need your sympathy." Pushes him aside when she goes upstairs.

Watching her go. Then sits down in the chair she was sitting on. Moans," damn, how am I supposed to help her?" For a moment he felt like someone was there. Thought it was nothing. So he got up to get his bag from the car.

Rey goes upstairs to comfort her sister," mel,that was rude of you to yell at Poe! He is here for you! This is your chance to make amends. He loves you! You love him even though he doesn't know…" she finishes the sentence," that we are witches. Our family got killed by demons from the first order. Oh added that we are the charmed ones! Minus 1! Sorry, I'm not in a forgiving mood." She tried to tell her about Poe staying with them before she left the room.

Late that night. Poe woke up to the sounds of footsteps. Opening the door. No one was there. Closing the door. Heard it again. Thinking it was just the normal thing since the house is very old. Now he couldn't get back to sleep. He got up to explore the house. He was not alone. Rey got out of her room," why are up? " poe whispers," heard footsteps thought someone is in the house. This house gives me the heevy jeeves. " she laughs," come on scary cat.let's investigate."

Two of them walked down the hall then heard the footsteps behind them. Caused them to turn around.no one. Both of them start to freak out. Both of them went to wake Melinda. She moans," what? I need some sleep! Can't this wait till morning! " poe sighs," no it can't! Someone else might be in the house. Need to find out what is going on!" In a huff. She gets out of bed," oh you two fucking babies there is no one in this house. Let me say this. If we find out there is no one here. Two of you are to leave me alone till morning. Got it?" Both of them look at her,and nod three of them leave her room to track down the mysterious footsteps.

Melinda starts to believe Rey and Poe. Melinda hears them too. You are a more logical person than your sister. Trying to figure out where the sound is coming from. Suddenly hear a door creaking down stairs. Three of you reached the stairwell to see a light coming from the dining room. Funny there is no door. Quietly approaching the room. Trying to find the door. All off you feeling around the walls, and even the bookcase. Poe found a book that was leaning in a weird position. Pull the book. Bingo! It opens. Poe leads the girls down a series of stairs. Leads to what looks like a basement. Melinda froze. Rey felt her tense up," what is it? Looks like you just saw a ghost." Looking ahead is what they saw. Lost loves standing before them. Well one of them. Melinda froze," Ben? How? Thought you were dead! What is going on?" He laughs," my dear sisters had no clue what was going on. Powerful witches as yourselves couldn't figure out what was going on." Poe looks at the girls. Did he hear him right? Melinda and Rey are witches? Ben circles them," oh it was so much fun to watch you two grieve over our family. Being killed by my new family. Love the power I have! No one could stop me from killing you all.! Then I can take over the nexus!" Melinda flicked her hand. Caused Ben to hit the wall. Ben's hands glow like lightning. Ready to throw the lighting at Melinda is when Rey yells," energy ball!" Throws it at her brother. Which it almost weakens him. Poe wants to help. Rushed towards ben. Until he was pushed back into a wall knocking him out. Melinda rushed over to him. Sees he is knocked out. Reaching for Rey's hand. Both of them chant a spell that caused him to shake violently,and disappear. Both of them cried. Until orbs of light appeared to them. See, it was leia. Reaching for them," oh my daughters. Thank you for defeating kylo. Yes, he appears as your brother but he was gone before I knew it was going on. Melinda,it is time to let go over your anger for what Poe did. He cares about you so much.That is why he is here. Oh,my young rey. Time for you to do what you dream about. Bless it be my darlings" Leia disappears. Melinda tends to poe. He wakes up,``Mel,are you okay?" Helping him up. Melinda clears her throat," wanna tell you I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. You are too sweet to be treated like that. If you like? We could start over? Clean slate." Poe cups her cheeks,and kisses her lips.

Melinda told Poe not to tell anyone what he saw. Now he knows their secret and he wants to protect them, especially Melinda. Soon they leave the room. Orbs of light appeared to Poe. A man appears before him. He spoke," well done, now you know the truth, now it's time for you to fulfill your destiny as a witch. Leia knew of your secret,but soon the others would know as well. So go and be with Melinda. Bless it be" soon the man disappeared leaving poe by himself in front of the door. With a wave of his hand . The door shuts. Power of three is back.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[thesues-scamander]

You Are Enough (Theseus Scamander x Reader)

Summary: Theseus suffers from PTSD due to his time serving in WWI. His symptoms grow worse as the years go on. One night he wakes from a particularly bad nightmare and the reader helps him to finally confront and cope with his past. 

Warnings: Mentions of nightmares, war, people dying in the war (nothing too bad)

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: This fic alternates back and forth between the reader’s pov and Theseus’ pov (tried to make that clear with the break lines). There’s a lot of angst in the beginning but I promise it has a fluffy ending :) 

Theseus shot up in bed, gasping, panic coursing through his body. You woke with a start from the sudden noise, and turned over to see Theseus panicking, clutching his chest and gasping, eyes wide with terror. 

“Theseus?” you asked dazedly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You squinted  at the clock across the room, your vision slowly coming into focus. It was 2:23 in the morning. This was the third night in a row that you’d been jolted awake in the middle of the night by one of Theseus’s episodes. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little concerned about him. You scooted over on the bed to sit next to him, placing a hand on his back. “You okay?”

He swallowed hard and nodded but you could tell he was very shaken by whatever nightmare had woken him so abruptly. It scared you to see him like this, waking up in a cold sweat and panicking as though he was in life-threatening danger. You’d known him to have nightmares before, but they had never been so severe like this. 

“Theseus?” you tried again. “Thes, what happened?” You watched as he leaned back against the bed frame, eyes closed, visibly forcing himself to calm down and take deep breaths, though he continued to tremble all over.

“Just a little nightmare, love,” he said giving you an unconvincing smile, “nothing to worry about”. He closed his eyes again, struggling to regain his composure, and you could see his hands still shook. 

“Theseus, don’t lie to me,” you pleaded. It’s what he always did, pretending to be fine when he clearly wasn’t. Always too stubborn to admit he needed help. It was frustrating, to say the least, when it was so clear to you that he was in serious need of help. 

“I’m fine love, really,” he replied shakily. “It was just a dream. No reason to get all worked up”.

You bit your lip anxiously. You didn’t want to push him, but you knew that something was very wrong. ‘It’s not normal to have nightmares like this every night’, you thought. Something was haunting him and you couldn’t bear to see him like this any longer. It wasn’t just at night that he acted strange. It seemed that his demons, whatever they were, had started to plague his mind during the day as well. He had started to become distant and far off, repeatedly zoning out and forgetting things, which was very unlike him. 

In that moment, you made up your mind. You weren’t letting this go until you got some answers, no matter what. You cared about Theseus too much to let this slide.

You scooted over so that you were sitting cross-legged in front of him and took hold of his hands. “Theseus, we need to talk”, you said seriously. He looked up at you apprehensively, and you could both feel the tension in the air. 

“What’s there to talk about?” he asked. You knew he was trying to play dumb in order to get out of any confrontation.

“Thes,” you said gently, “I’m not stupid. The nightmares…..they’re getting out of hand. You barely sleep at night. Even during the day you seem distant and you always have this strange look in your eyes. It scares me Thes,” you said honestly. “I know you’d rather not talk about it, but Thes, I’m really worried”. You squeezed his hands and looked earnestly into his eyes, searching for any sign acknowledgement for what you said. You knew that he knew you were right - it was just a matter of getting him to admit it.

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Theseus felt himself shrink under your gaze and looked away sheepishly. He’d never meant to worry you. In fact, he’d been trying to do the opposite. Theseus had hoped that you wouldn’t notice because he hated feeling like a burden. To be honest, he thought he’d been doing a pretty good job of hiding his issues - minus the nightmares. Unfortunately, you were much more observant than he’d given you credit for. It was so like you, he thought ruefully, always noticing the little things that no one else saw.

Theseus sighed and looked up at you. He hated to see that worried look in your eyes. He hated even more that he was the cause of it. ‘I’m supposed to be the one worrying about her,’ Theseus thought, feeling even more ashamed of himself. ‘I'm supposed to be the one comforting her, but here I am making things worse’. He felt like such a failure.

He tried. 

He really did. He tried so hard. Tried so hard to get up everyday even though he’d barely slept. Tried so hard to live like a normal person. To smile and laugh like everyone else. To be there for you when you needed him. To forget the war. To forget the faces of the men who died by his side. To pretend like the pain wasn’t there. Like it wasn’t real.

But it was. It was real and it hurt. He’d managed to keep it at bay for a while, but now that he was finally forced to confront it, it overwhelmed him. He felt helpless as tears welled up in his eyes and it took all his willpower to keep them from falling.

“Oh Thes,” you whispered sadly, watching as he hastily wiped his eyes, desperate to hold back the tears. It tore up your heart to see how much pain he was in. You wrapped your arms around him and held him tightly. “Whatever it is love, please…..just tell me. I’m begging you Thes, don’t hold it in anymore”. 

You could feel him clutching the sides of your shirt as he just started to sob inconsolably into the crook of your neck. His chest heaved and his body shook as his grief consumed him. You stayed quiet, holding him close and rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

“I-I’m s-sorry,” he cried. “I d-didn’t...I just c-couldn't….”. He struggled to get the words out as he wept. “I n-never meant to m-make y-you worried”. His breaths came in short, sporadic gasps and he could barely speak. “I-I ju-just didn’t w-want to....to bother y-you”.

“Thes,” you said, taken aback at this statement. “You don’t have to apologize darling. You never have to apologize for this.” You rocked him back and forth, trying to soothe his aching cries. “I love you so much Theseus. You could never be a burden to me.” He didn’t respond - just held you tighter, still sobbing and clinging to you as though you were the only thing holding him together. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat there before Theseus’s sobs died down and his body finally began to relax. He pulled back, giving himself a chance to get a full breath of air. He was a bit of a mess so you offered to get him some tissues, which he gratefully accepted. You hurried to the bathroom, grabbed a box of tissues, and quickly came back to sit by him. Theseus wiped his eyes and nose. He looked so broken and defeated, sitting there on the bed with his red, teary eyes and his head hung low. You were tempted to say something, anything to ease his pain, but you felt that you should stay quiet.

“He’ll talk when he’s ready,” you thought. “Best not to push him right now”.

Hours could have passed by and you wouldn’t have known the difference. All that mattered was that the man - your man - the one you loved so dearly, was wounded and hurting badly. 

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To be honest, Theseus was at a loss for where to start. How to explain something he didn’t quite understand himself? But there was no going back now. He had to say something.

“For a long time now…”. He paused, grimacing. This was going to be harder than he’d thought. It was almost humorous. “Theseus Scamander, ‘The Great War Hero’,” he thought wryly. “Afraid to talk about a nightmare.” If people only knew. He shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. None of that mattered. All that mattered was you. 

He looked up at you, sitting there patiently, eyes kind and understanding. You had been there for him through thick and thin. You had loved him at his worst and celebrated his best. You and him were a team, and he knew it wasn’t fair to keep secrets from you. You of all people, deserved the truth. Theseus took a deep breath, gathering his courage.

“When I fought in the war…. I saw things - awful things ...things I’ll never forget…. I’d rather not go into detail about it,” he said, shuddering. It felt as though he was reliving it all over again. Theseus stared fixedly at the bedpost, trying to get a grip on himself as nauseating images of the war swarmed in the forefront of his mind. 

“After the war, everyone expected us to go back to our lives as though nothing had happened. Just expected us to forget what we’d seen and what we’d done. You know the rest. I moved back to England, found a job at the ministry, bought this flat, met you, eventually got promoted to Head Auror. Everyone always told me how lucky I was and how they admired me for what I did during the war and my accomplishments since then. You would think I had everything going for me huh?” He smiled sadly as tears began to roll down his face but they were not painful like before. They were tears of mourning more than anything else, as Theseus realized how long he had been living with this hole inside him. 

“To be honest I….” He faltered, suddenly feeling scared of what he was about to admit. “What are you so afraid of?” he scolded himself. He’d never been one to back down from a challenge. Theseus had always thought himself capable of handling whatever life threw at him. Why was confronting himself so hard?

You reached over and placed your hand on his reassuringly. “Theseus, whatever it is ...you can tell me,” you said, giving him a small smile. “I won’t ever judge you for what you feel, okay?”

Theseus nodded, letting out a deep breath, steeling himself for what was coming. “The truth….. the truth is that I haven’t felt safe since the war. I can’t relax, not really. I just have this awful gnawing feeling inside me all the time that something terrible is going to happen at any second. I feel tense and on edge all the time. I can’t stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen. Especially when I’m around lots of people. That makes it worse. No matter where I go or what I do, it’s always in the back of my mind. People think I’m a strong, down-to-earth kind of guy and all that, but I’m really just scared. It’s hard for me to laugh and enjoy myself because I can’t stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen. I can’t breathe and I can’t stop stressing out. I feel like I can’t let my guard down for one second because that’s when it could happen.” 

It felt surprisingly good to finally say these things out loud. It was as if acknowledging them and coming to terms with them somehow made them smaller, less intimidating. Once he started, he couldn’t stop talking. It was as if a dam had broken inside him and everything just came flooding out. 

“At night, that’s when it really gets to me. The nightmares. They’re usually about the war. Sometimes they’re about the people I love getting hurt. Other times it’s me being chased by something. But it’s always the same feeling of absolute terror and dread. I didn’t want you - or anyone for that matter - to know because I didn’t want you to be worried about me. There’s so many things to worry about already, that I figured it would be easier if I kept it to myself. I’m always the one that everyone looks to for answers when they’re afraid. What would they think if they knew that I was just as afraid? If they knew I wasn’t actually the brave ‘War Hero’ who can save them from anything?”

“Thes,” you said, putting an arm around him, “you’ve been through so much. You’ve been so strong this whole time. You care so much about others and that’s one of the many reasons that I love you. You’re always think of others before you think of yourself and I admire that.” 

You ran your hands through his hair as you talked, trying to help him relax. “Thes, I think it might help to consider that no matter how much you try, you can’t control everything. It’s not fair for you or anyone else to place that much pressure on your shoulders. Even if you are Head Auror, you can’t hold yourself responsible for every bad thing that happens. You hold too high a standard for yourself and it’s really starting to take a toll on you.” 

His eyes were looking downward so you placed a hand under his chin and raised it gently so his eyes could meet yours. 

“Theseus, you - are - enough. You really are. You are enough to yourself and more than that - you’re enough to me. You’ve pushed yourself enough. You don’t have to keep worrying about everything and everyone all the time. You do your job perfectly already. I trust you and you should trust yourself more often.”

Theseus gave a small smile and laughed softly. “It never fails to amaze me how you always know what to say. I don’t know what I’d do without you and that clear head of yours.” He pulled you towards him and the two of you fell back on the bed. You snuggled up against his chest and he wrapped his arms around, breathing in each other’s warmth. You both just lay there in the darkness, feeling the peace and contentment that came from being in one another’s presence, as though there was no one else in the world but you two. You both knew that the fight was far from over, that there was still a long road of recovery ahead. But you’d taken the first step together, and for now, that was enough.

You turned to look up at him. “Thes?” you whispered.

“Yes love?”

“Stay home today?”

Even though it was dark, you could make out the amused smile on his face. 

“Anything for you, my love,” he whispered back, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

And with that, you nestled yourself back into his arms, letting his warmth and steady breathing slowly lull you back to sleep.

[yaboylevi]

Hello there! I couldn't help but notice that salty anon asking about your stance on Levi so I'll ask again because it sure sounds interesting! Do you mind telling us how you feel about him?

Okay, so the original question from a dumb hater was how I could even support a romantic ship between Eren and Levi if I am not a Levi fan*.

*If a ”Levi fan”, like that idiotic anon meant, is someone who excuses all of Levi’s bad behaviors, then no, I am not a fan.

Premise no.1: I’ve loved Levi for so many years, he’s been part of my twitter handle in the past, is in my Tumblr url, icons on various social media, I have a lot of merchandise and not only for “the sake of the ship”. I genuinely used to love him to the point that he was my favorite character alongside Eren, I couldn’t pick one. So I guess I am a bit of a fan, after all.

Premise no.2: I am a gigantic bag of salt about this topic so tread carefully if you’re easily offended. I won’t sugarcoat my VERY BIASED opinions, and if you strongly disagree, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t change my opinion with the information we currently have, because this isn’t a gut reaction I spent two seconds on, I actually soul searched (lol) for the reasons as to why I felt so negatively about Levi. He was my fave, and I felt deeply hurt and confused and frustrated, so I thought long and hard about it. I am open to change my mind if anything else comes out of him in the future.

Also, I have already spent a lot of words on how I feel about Levi’s character as of late, here, here, and here, here, here and here for example, also here and here (I haven’t exactly been silent about it lol) but let me reiterate it into one incomplete post. It’s really freaking long, and a wall of text at it. I don’t expect people to put up with this messy rant, but suit yourself if you want to.

@ the people who sent these new questions almost a month ago, I’m sorry this isn’t the reply you hoped for. If you guys want a more positive take on this, just look through my ereri meta tag.

Levi as a character can be simplified in 3 points, in my opinion: 1) the deep, caring feelings he has for his comrades and as such the responsibility he feels for them and their deaths; 2) his violent side and how he resorts to violence to solve situations. These 2 merge together into 3) what used to be his main goal, free humanity. He lent his strength (that at times he uses for violence/to get his way) to the cause: helping in freeing humanity inside the walls because the sense of freedom is worth everything.

So, harsh opinion: I believe he has lost sight of his goal – as Isayama has stated in the past even though I didn’t wanna believe it because it made zero sense and cheapened everything I loved about Levi – and he has fallen back into his worst behaviors. Add to that a lack of active presence and engagement in the actual story, and you get this predictable, background character that I can’t for the life of me enjoy currently. Because apparently, he forgot how to live on his own without Erwin’s guidance (and here I’d have another bag of salt to pour but this would get too long, and I don’t have the patience to word it in a way that wouldn’t bring me the ire of his fans).

I don’t know if Levi is really supposed to be seen this way, but at least to me, the focus has been mostly on this: his anger/violence/flaws, and his lack of involvement.

I never liked the way he resorted to violence to “resolve” not life-or-death situations or simply to vent his frustrations, in the first place. It’s something Eren had to let go of, he was rewarded when he used his wits, abandoning pure rage for the sake of revenge, and it’s always been Isayama’s intention, imo, to show as much with the story in general and with Levi as well, as Levi has never been rewarded for it either.

So, witnessing his character revert AGAIN to kicks and straight-up sadism, as a fan, has been a big disappointment. Then, the shift of his goal because “saving humanity” wasn’t Erwin’s goal, after all, has been another point of disappointment – but this happened way before the current arc. His obsession with “making the dead soldiers’ sacrifices worth it” can be commendable, but the way he’s going about it is totally blind and dictated by anger and loss of hope, in a way, so I don’t see it as something positive either. He lacks vision, he lacks a voice in the things that are happening around him as if he doesn’t care whatever happens to all of them, as long as he can make Zeke suffer and kill him. I know it’s not totally the case, because we have seen (and I want to believe) that he still cares about his comrades who are still alive, as seen during the battle in Liberio and his reticence at following direct orders to kill Eren, but at the same time, the obsession with “repaying the lives of the dead” is making him being absolutely heartless for the sake of his “hope” (like, I’m paraphrasing here but he literally went “let’s go to war again and let Historia become a shifter if she so wants to, who cares, more deaths, yay”), though he himself doesn’t seem to care about hope and freedom and all this stuff that much anymore, or he would’ve spoken up about the mess Paradis and Hange were throwing themselves into, like Eren did.

Another point of dissatisfaction is that it seemed to me like he was forming stronger bonds with the 104th and he was becoming better at voicing his opinions without becoming violent, but I guess he either regressed, or I always read him wrong. His violence in 114 was downright revolting to me, I felt nauseous and, in a way, I’m glad he got k.o’ed. It put a stop to his metaphorical downfall, at least — I see post-timeskip Levi as a cheapened, worsened, “hyperfocused-on-just-one-side-of-him” version of the Levi I used to love in earlier arcs and he was only getting worse, imo.

And, as a special mention re: his violence and his relationship with Eren… It was interesting to observe how he slowly changed in regards to Eren, learning how to lift him up and get the best out of and for him, caring about and paying attention to Eren’s emotional state when no one could or would. It was also very interesting how he opened up to Eren just because he wanted to help him, always, from the beginning. THAT’S what really made me fall for the ship and for Levi.

Also, he thought that violence wasn’t the answer with Eren, and I guess I can excuse him for his behavior in Shiganshina because it was a charged challenge of sort for every character. But he really did think that nobody could make Eren submit with violence, yet he’s the one who tried to do exactly that as soon as they met again in ch.105. I was so disappointed that their relationship seemed to have regressed so much, I kept being hopeful only because of his face/words after the kick: he felt betrayed and saddened by Eren, so it meant he still cared deeply about him. And yeah, he does, but the reasons are also partially…bad. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe he cares about Eren as a person, the boy he met and decided to protect all those years ago, but now saving Eren has become deeply intertwined with saving his last remaining goal: making it up to the dead soldiers (and I’ve already explained why I think it’s not a “positive” goal). And it’s unfair and a skewed view, imo, because Eren really didn’t have much to do with every single death. But I think it’s Levi being desperate about it all, he clings to it or he’d lose it if he had to, um, reconsider his current mindset. He’s like…grasping at straws, I feel. Like he was doing with Erwin when Erwin revealed his true colors. Levi ended up reconsidering his own ideals and goals, back then, but in a bad way (he had no goals of his own, he just blindly followed Erwin, who cares about humanity, right? Even though he seemed to care oh so much before).

I guess it’s the downfall of the “Hero”. @/Isayama, was this necessary? Is this entertaining? I am personally not a fan of this, there were so many ways to challenge Levi’s belief & trust in Eren, and to still have Levi be an active player. This just feels like a cheap way to get him out of the picture and turn him into a really secondary character. He doesn’t feel like a main player in this arc.

So long story short, I’m very disappointed in his development. I was willing to go along with it in the hopes that it would be leading us to something very interesting and it seemed it could go into a good direction as I stated here. But when he seemed to be confirmed basically dead (literally, or anyway when it comes to his importance in current events), I’ve kind of lost all hope in regards to his character, and I felt so done about it. He is either gonna stay this way, or there’s gonna be some small, cheap, background-ish closure (though atm I fail to see how, seeing as the story is about to end) and if that’s the case, I fail to comprehend the purpose of his arc, then. I don’t think his is an unreasonable development, I just fail to see how the direction Isayama has decided to “develop” him in has any relevance to the story and its themes, as he used to be a major player with some good-ass, relevant presence in the story. As I said in some posts I linked above, Isayama may have lost motivation to develop Levi any further and dropped it from the “main players” roaster, probably when he decided to change Levi’s motivations halfway through the story (because yes, the problems I have with Levi started towards the end of Uprising).

I used to be a great Levi fan, if my username and icon are anything to go by, and I still like him when I reread some parts as I stated elsewhere, because I really, really love when he interacts with the 104th or like, with his subordinates or even Hange. It’s fun to watch and even cute, when he’s not being a violent arsehole. So it’s really a shame that it’s come to this.

And yeah, I’m sure some people may have noticed already, but the ereri content on my blog has become quite scarce, S3 and the shitfest that went down there in regards to Eren&Levi parts also dampened my hype for the ship, my dissatisfaction with Levi’s character and the way his interactions (or lack thereof) with Eren went recently just pissed me off. But I loved this ship for like 5 years, I’m attached to it, and I am capable of separating the good parts of it from the bad ones (though it’s become increasingly difficult). And most importantly, I still love the way their canon relationship was developed up until before the serum bowl. Almost nothing has happened with them since then, so that’s why I was still really hyped for the next 2 years, but recently, and with Levi’s return, I’ve just grown more frustrated and bored with it.

After all, I fell in love with the romantic fanon ship BECAUSE the canon relationship was so interesting, had potential, and seemed to be going some incredibly cool directions, as both the characters seemed to be similar, had the same goals and understood each other on a basic level. It turned out to be almost nothing in the end, but alas.

So, how can I ship them if I don’t like one of them?

I still like Levi, especially when I reread the early arcs. This doesn’t mean I have to accept the worst sides of him that have apparently taken over his whole personality. His violence ISN’T a flaw I - or anyone, imo - should accept. Snoring IS a flaw we can/have to accept if we love someone. Violence is something that must be overcome. My annoyance with people implying they are better fans because they accept and embrace and excuse him and his violence, compared to those who don’t like that, is also a factor in my frustration. Understanding why exactly he’s the way he is is part of being a fan of a character, wishing for him to become a better person and ultimately letting go of toxic (yeah) acquired behaviors, imo, is better than defending and hyping them up. Some people even LOVE and WISH that violence will be his downfall because it’s violence for the sake of avenging [redacted] so it’s sooo romantic. lmao, ok. And I won't even get started about the ones who SERIOUSLY say that adult characters don't need to change, because I'm gonna start laughing for 3 hours straight. Dudes, there's not an age where you stop changing. If you stop trying bettering yourself at age XX, then I already know you're a shitty adult irl, goodbye.

Anyways, back on track. As I said in another post I may have linked above, I thought his encounter and resolution with Kenny would have amounted to something in this regards, since Levi used violence to get acknowledgment and to feel like he was “worth” something, imo, but it was only a set up for serumbowl. Wasted chance.

And I get it that violence is the way he was taught to deal with things, but 20 years have passed since then and he had a whole character arc in Uprising about opening up, trusting, feeling trusted in return, and feeling good and grateful and happy about that BECAUSE he was open with his squad and learned that it was better to use words rather than fists. So I thought he had grown out of it at least a bit. But I mean, there are other characters who have regressed or haven’t changed at all after their supposed character arc, and that dampened to a great degree the enjoyment of such characters for me (Historia, Ymir, Reiner), so whatever I guess? I can definitely see it’s something of a “cruel” way of storytelling Isayama really seems to like, maybe because he wants the characters to suffer. I guess you can’t have a story if all of your characters become better people and overcome their flaws…well, actually you can, but I guess Isayama doesn’t want this to be that kind of story.

But anyway, just to be clear, it also ties in with wanting the characters you love to better themselves and let go of things that ruin their lives or that have roots in trauma. Wouldn’t you want that for someone you love, even and especially in real life? So, if his violent tendencies have been portrayed as “wrong”, Bad Coping Mechanisms, and rooted in childhood trauma, why is it so frowned upon in this goddamn fandom to wish for him to let go of them, since it’s something that has caused him and characters around him pain or distress or downright failure. Overcoming these flaws would mean he’d feel better about himself, and others, and his past, etc. Why is it SO wrong to wish him the best? Lmao, I don’t get it.

So when his “real fans” be like “Levi’s violence is a part of him, you don’t love him for real if you can’t accept that part. anyway he’s perfect the way he is”, I’m like…that’s actually bullshit. I just want him to be a better person, just like I wanted to be a better person when I had detrimental (for me and for the people close to me) behaviors due to mental health stuff.

It’s not even on the same level of wanting him to stop being rude, that’s part of his charm. Violence…is not a cool personality trait, and it’s something you should want him to get over.

–

I still love lots of things that were shown in the manga in regards to Eren and Levi, so I don’t get why I should justify myself for liking them together just because I don’t like some parts of one of them. I still think some of Levi’s best personality traits came out when he interacted with Eren, and I like the Levi who cares about Eren the most. Hence why I ship the goddamn ship. That’s all there is to it, really. Here I talked about what I loved about their relationship, though now I feel like a bit of a hopeful fool.

[the-firebird69]

We're going to lay into this Corky he's about 5 billion trillion people on Earth that's way too many dan figured it out went up to him and said you have too many people and you can't do a damn thing ever I was going to fix that problem and you didn't want it to happen and we wouldn't have lasted that long. Tommy on looks up and says what's it to you I still can't do anything and you didn't make it here and they didn't let you do anything either they're a bunch of homos and losers I'm going to lose the big boy over here cuz he keeps saying you people don't know s*** so smiles and says can't get to go after Giants they're huge and they hate you it's all up there with Tony soprano and he seems like this oh that's soprano just like iron Man was trying to say it's me so it doesn't get shot the point is that there are giants up there and my people hate Giants. Your people hate giants that are your people his people know that your people hate Giants who are your people don't tell them that you're a people because they aren't they are not your people they're probably my race who's Hitler and Stalin and Lenin for some reason I can't keep it straight because there's gigantic

So time is getting a nightmare cuz he says I'm holding them in the museum I told you don't hold them in the museum that you're an idiot so it comes up and he says hi I'm a black man did you hear about the girl that died in the car with nine people and said I didn't I saw it but I don't know how many people died and he says I don't know sucks is the war and I couldn't always saying what's up it's on the way out and her voice says by the way which one are you and doesn't care I just left and so he's trying to get to him because of that so it's asking like you said he can't have any encounter at all with any of you without you turning into a pile of s*** there's a reason for it you're all doing this isolation act what he's laughing at is who cares I'm not your kind I could be much happier if you want me up in the igloo by myself in Alaska I'd be much happier up there and it started to cry a little said I have absolutely no need for human contact with you if you insist on doing it I'll destroy it with you meaning you're doing it in a very negative way and I'm destroying it with you but furthermore you're a bunch of pussies too she can still have any of your s*** together so I heard them all laughing it was saying group got away and saved you so it says something is that what you're dwelling on your own in the Ukraine okay you get like -50 points for the day so we got to go crumples a little and says who's doing that I said I am you you were told not to say it you dumb f*** naked 50 points 50 cents and Sue the a****** hands you so awesome 50 cent cuz it's a fine and see what he looks for then tell him I know where there's some Giants are that eat your people and hate your people I think they're New Hampshire Hudson Bay up there too Giants believe it or not might even be my race hey hey hey Tommy yeah Tommy Allen you may have missed sure it might be George's body maybe George's clones brain

It's funny can threaten to get in a fight and die and get exposed to the Giants will burn everybody okay

We're very upset that the attitude the people are stupid Tony surprise going to March up there with tons and tons of these idiots he's going to try and get a blaster out of the ones that are there still trying a little today maybe I can get her to drive my electric bike around it's real quiet and feels like 500 miles an hour some a******the monster won't hear him until he's about quarter mile away but then when the monster sees him he's gone by although they're very fast they'd have to get closer at least so he's thinking about it so that's why it isn't it's real quiet because it has gears you get way up there and speed you're still not winding out the motor see listens well I'm not a dealer yet oh my God it's Chris bike oh my God, it was stealing this quarter mile diamond let me see oh oh Chris is bike... Cloak how hard would it be it's electric

So start a loss is nerve and he started laughing the whole thing is made for electricity to be grounded properly so you put something extra in there without a problem and also has like a trickle system so you could like split it said laughing again

There's something that we need to express joy and satisfaction with our son is doing this is amazing some people are actually thinking of buying one he wants to like be a dealer cuz he has no money or at least do the deal that we were talking about will be a dealer I guess sort of honorary dealer and we are going to work up a contract with way and the Chance lady. We like to reinforce it and say that I need it done now Hera is saying and we need to do it today over there stay time and I'm already suited up and I'm ready to go and everybody is kind of wandering around so you want to get the trucks going and the food trucks and everything else and let's get over there we're all Asians believe it or not you're hissing like a madman it's not paying attention well we lost 10 minutes it's awesome this is a verse like this to get the first one so you start looking at him saying what he wants to do hand me some cash my body over there and I smile and said okay then I know what happens and you know what happens we need it done everyone who's trapped here needs it done I don't know what that would do would be some kind of dealer sure to think about it when we asked Frank Castle Hardcastle and we asked Duke Nukem and Blockbuster and said we have to do something now I can't leave him there I can't leave our people there.

So can you please still through I sign the contracts now and they're going out there with them and they're going to deliver them and Mac has one and he's going to tell you to go to the library and I sort of know where it is it's around here somewhere you go by there a little silver up by the stink hole of Castle he's stinking a******. So they see the problem no Hera says. Awesome I feel awesome I got to get him out of there what's going on too long.

I figured out he can make four or five grand a month and they wouldn't freak out too much cuz he knows teeny money and it's easy to knock out it's a matter of fact they wouldn't mind doing it it's like 60 Grand a year on top of 20 which is not much it's still only 80 something it's not enough to move out but he can furnish the place and have a decent stereo a decent vehicle good electric bike is safe tons of money you can make invest it it's also a little trick you invest in something it gets real big and it takes some of his money back and puts it into the account and says they made some money investing something that people check and it'll look at the stupid I'm checking

I'm proceeding the hand of contracts out I think it's a good idea because I get some involved in something rather than nothing Tommy Allen wants to cut them off from everything and I want to try putting them into everything so I can cut Tommy Allen off and he has tons of people of his own but the other more life don't like him now he's about 50% of them so really he's only a quarter of the world population as he himself and his woman and his woman don't like him either so he's really about an eighth but it really works out to be like a little bit more than 1/8 and less than a quarter because the woman kind of end up helping them because they have to but they can really cripple them if they want to what are they going to do so it's kind of hell and we try to help but it's really hard so I could do it after it's going on right now in Hawaii in traffic thunder it's going to happen over there in Cape fear Robert de Niro is it gifted but he's after him too and he's not rushing he's a Mac should see why he said it was raping this girl and our son thought it was from natural Born killer but it's not it's from that other movie and it didn't look like rape it did not and she's a famous woman and she pressed charges because dinero whood her into it. But really your husband was trying to harm her because of it she told him I can't tell him that guy it's Robert de Niro then BGA as Nick nolte gets him in jail today oh within like hours no it must be tomorrow yes so Nick nolte defends him tomorrow fails he goes to jail for like an hour comes out tries to kill McNulty cuz he knows it's bja it's an opportunity to get rid of him cuz it doesn't look like Brian and a lot of people don't know and it feels with Robert dinero comes back, as BG ruined down here and he had a plan and everything and it was halfway decent compared to everybody else's even Max and it wasn't a nonsense going on every day here let me repeat that here let me repeat that here let me repeat that okay you're a zombie bye have a nice walk go to the lake tons of that going on now had enough of this s***.

It will happen tomorrow night but tonight or today really or tonight here is traffic thunder and DJ will be out almost fully and yeah Trump and Dan set him up.

Thor Freya

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.