#even if our plots diverge from the books c: )

[caitlin666]

The issues I have with Uglies by Scott Westerfeld especially to do with the books ideals of beauty

I have a really weird love-hate relationship with this series. I love the characters and worldbuilding, but some of the themes are really icky.

I had a love-hate relationship with these books in school. I loved the world building and characters and sci-fi stuff like hoverboards. But in the books a young teen who is an “ugly” (or normal looking person in our society) becomes a “pretty” or perfect looking person through a complex surgery, and preteen and young teen me was so insecure and so scared that I would never be pretty because I wouldn’t get the surgery.

I thought the beauty standards were never explicitly revealed or defined in the books but I re read quotes and plot summaries, as apparently a pretty needs to be

-skinny but not chubby just “healthy curvy”

-symmetrical face

-dimples

-big eyes

-small nose

-big lips

-no pimples or blemishes

-long hair if you’re a girl

-muscles and abs if you’re a guy

-“not too short but not too tall”

-“not too pale but not too dark” (which lowkey has racist undertones)

For reference, swimsuit models in our time (their past) would be considered ugly and A list top tier celebrities would be considered “almost pretty.”

Apparently “natural pretties” do exist who do not need the surgery, but are EXTREMELY rare, apparently like a 1 in a million chance if that. Maybe even 1 in 10 million.

Some fans headcanon supermodel Taylor Hill as a natural pretty.

Literally every character aside from a select few who are “rebels” get the surgery and I thought there was something deeply wrong with me (even though I initially I wasn’t even a teen yet I was 12) and that insecurity carried into early high school honestly. I feel like Mean Girls (a movie filmed in 2004) has a similar premise but a way better execution because Cady realises being a plastic (or popular pretty girl) is bad and wrong. It isn’t glamorized in anyway like being a “pretty” in the uglies series is.

The “uglies” and most students at Mean Girls high school are seen as inferior to the “pretties” or plastics but ultimately it plays out differently and with mean girls the story actually makes sense. It NEVER made me insecure because funnily enough the plot was super secure and had a strong message. Uglies didn’t. You could even compare a character in Uglies; Shay to Janis in Mean Girls in that they are dark haired tomboys and they want nothing to do with beauty or popularity and are rebels, however Shay ultimately conforms and becomes a pretty and Janis never conforms

MOST books I read as a preteen and young teen were pretty innocent stuff like vampires and mermaids and fairies and princesses along with mindless chick lit about high school drama that wasnt anything serious and overall fun. But yeah unfortunately I did read this series lol. Even divergent and hunger games which I read were also sci-fi but it wasn’t glamorised in anyway.

One person commented in an uglies book review video how back in high school, popular girls started calling anyone who wasn’t popular an ugly shortly after the books came out.

What’s crazier is that I forgot about these books for YEARS since like 16 (I am 20 now) when I FINALLY started to feel comfortable in my own skin (funnily enough the same age when characters also become pretty), but only recently like a week ago I remembered them and all the weird memories started flooding back.

I was so scared a guy wouldn’t ever find me attractive because I didn’t fit into that hyper specific mold and looking back that is SO fucked up like what the actual fuck. I would sometimes spend hours examining my face thinking that there was something deeply wrong with me and super upset I couldn’t get a surgery to become perfectly beautiful.

When someone becomes a pretty, aside from having the surgery to look beautiful, pretties become brainwashed to be airheaded and not have critical thinking skills. But aside from that, they can party and shop and have no boundaries or limits. There’s no overall drawbacks to being a pretty and that’s why it feels glamourized. Pretties aren’t even mean aside from judging “ugly” people (who are normal looking) and that’s only because they have been brainwashed to act that way.

I’m also going to compare this book to two kids movies. The first being Shrek. Fiona is a gorgeous princess who has a curse on her to become an unattractive ogre at night. Fiona learns to love all aspects and facets on herself and decides to fully become an ogre and embrace herself and learns beauty comes from within. Tally the main character of Uglies, starts off being “ugly” then becomes “pretty” and then becomes “special” an intimidating looking pretty who’s a crime fighter. The series ends with her not being brainwashed anymore but her still looking like a special. A better ending would be for her to stop looking pretty or special and becoming her “ugly” self again but embracing it and learning beauty comes from within and she doesn’t have to be pretty or ugly, she can just be the best version of herself.

Another movie is Ugly Dolls. In the movie, dolls are separated into two towns, Ugly Town and Perfectville. Six ugly dolls want to become perfect, so they travel to perfectville and try to complete a series of challenges, struggling along the way. Ugly dolls never go into stores but pretty dolls are. The leader of perfectville is scared that ugly dolls won’t ever sell. However, the ugly dolls defeat the leader and get into stores, and the kids love them. The two towns merge into imperfectville, and extreme beauty standards don’t exist anymore.

Also I’m going to mention that the third uglies book called Specials is kinda glamorizing cutting (self harm) and even had a gang called The Cutters. I blocked most of that out of my head so I can’t recall much.

Various “pretty” characters also starve themselves to make themselves seem “bubbly” which was pretty slang for “cool.” That was also messed up.

It’s sad though because I loved the hoverboards and the other tech in the books but unfortunately it got overshadowed by the messed up beauty messages. Apparently Netflix is making a movie with Joey King as Tally but I don’t know whether it will be good or not.

Lemme know your thoughts below!

[nicklloydnow]

“Yet beyond content, there was always the faintly snobbish suggestion that if a book had to be good to be ‘literature’, then it had to be intellectually worthless to be downgraded to the zone of cheap ‘thrillers’, fit only for producing cheap thrills. Ten minutes reading such books usually proves such snobbery right, and we are reminded of Graham Greene’s famous division of his own works into ‘novels’ and ‘entertainments’. Yet good things can be found in unexpected places, and a particular series of books that are typically found in the ‘thriller’ section, when they are found at all, are on closer examination one of the great fairytales of our time, hinging on their creation of our great fairytale monster: Thomas Harris’ Red Dragon, The Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal. The monster? Hannibal Lecter, M. D.

(…) Yet it is here that the trilogy radically diverges from the established ‘thriller’ formula—Lecter isn’t the hero, but he isn’t the most obvious villain either, and indeed he at least appears to help speed justice along with his psychiatric profiling skills. This is the first step in elevating Harris’s trilogy—as well as Lecter’s character, who with his positions as an archival researcher in Florence and on the board of the Baltimore Philharmonic must make him one of the only fictional serial killers for whom killing isn’t their main ambition in life. Meanwhile, we find that Harris has stylistic skill well beyond that of the average thriller writer—unlike most, he avoids the howling errors of grammar, syntax and decency that give the modern genre such a bad name, and more importantly allows the prose to hold value in its own right, rather than simply as an inconvenient means for getting a cheaply pulse-raising plot across as quickly as possible. Especially with the middle book of the trilogy, it’s obvious to an alert reader that they are dealing with something far more eloquent and profound than a typical thriller.

(…)

Across the series, the spiritual unfulfillment and grubby reality of late-twentieth century Beltway America—the world of Watergate—is portrayed with a constant dark sense of humour and an inventive eye for detail, with both the author and Lecter’s distaste for modern American life (one of many parallels between Harris and Vladimir Nabokov) something of a running joke.

Split city is a bleak place the wind blows through. Like the Sunday divorce flight from La Guardia to Juarez, it is a service industry to the mindless Brownian movement in our population.

Aside from the surprising quality of the writing, a good barometer is the attitude of the books to death. As Elvis Costello knew, there’s something distinctly chic and even sexy about fictional detective work (‘I don’t know how much more of this I can take/She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake…’). Yet unlike most thrillers or their ‘film noir’ predecessors, Harris never trivialises death as a colourful accessory to a ‘penny dreadful’ storyline but treats it with the maturity one would expect from a serious novel. We are given heart wrenching descriptions of the psychological damage Graham, the protagonist of the first novel, has suffered from his FBI career, and of the tragic futility of more mundane, realistic demise as Crawford’s wife wastes away from cancer. As the Doctor himself says, in an updated yet essentially repeated version of that old theological conundrum, famously described by David Hume as the ‘problem of evil’:

“I collect church collapses, recreationally. Did you see the recent one in Sicily? Marvellous! The facade fell on sixty-five grandmothers at a special mass. Was that evil? If so, who did it? If he’s up there, he just loves it, Officer Starling. Typhoid and swans—it all comes from the same place.”

Religion, which along with class is one of the trilogy’s unexpected yet most salient themes, is thus expressed in a distinctly twentieth-century, post-War way: a refusal to square the idea of a benevolent God with the horrors of man, let alone the cosmic indifference of the universe. It can hardly escape our notice that Mason Verger, the hideously disfigured and utterly repulsive—indeed, probably excessively so—antagonist in the third novel, murmurs to Starling of the wonders of Christian forgiveness, even as he boasts of his predation on the innocent. The contrast could hardly be stronger with the insistently religious morality in other generation-defining works of horror: see Marlowe’s Faustus, with the titular character dragged to hell as his guardian angel laments his renouncement of God, or Stoker’s Dracula, in which the naive Englishman Jonathan Harker foolishly scorns offers of crucifixes from the local peasantry and finds himself defenceless against the vampiric Count. (…)

Indeed, the appropriately chilling ‘Chiltern’ is a good example of how Harris has an almost Dickensian ability to play with names: most obviously we have ‘Starling’, with avian connotations of weakness and vulnerability, yet also shrewdness and subtlety (‘I talk in a daze, I walk in a maze/I cannot get out, said the starling’, writes Nabokov’s most famous protagonist). ‘Dolorhyde’ gives us ‘dolorous’ (latin dolor) and ‘formaldehyde’, along with ‘-hyde’’s resonance with Robert Louis Stevenson’s 1886 Jekyll and Hyde, also about transformative evil. Then we have Krendler, almost onomatopoeically impling ‘rake’, ‘rend’ or perhaps Grendel. ‘Hannibal’ gives us Hannibal Barca, the terror of the Roman Republic, and the obvious rhyme with ‘cannibal’, providing a ready-made nickname for Harris’s sleazy journalists to use. Most interestingly, ‘Lecter’ (which Harris smartly chooses over the more blatant ‘Lektor’) gives ‘leer’ and ‘spectre’, but also ‘lecture’/’lectern’/’proctor’ (Latin lector), hinting at how the doctor’s main role in the series is not as a killer, but as a teacher.

(…)

One of the trilogy’s other themes is therefore perhaps that of ‘contrast’. At first glance, it seems to be everywhere. Graham’s heroic desire to protect families contrasts with the depredations of the ‘Tooth Fairy’. The grubby, seamy brutality of ‘Buffalo Bill’ contrasts with Lecter’s immaculate appearance and mannerisms, as well as the depth of his psychiatric ability. The youthful, idealistic energy of Starling contrasts with the horror into which she descends to preserve life—quite literally, with her headlong plunges into Bill’s lair, Verger’s pig farm, drug-ravaged D.C. gangland (another nod to contemporary sociopolitics, this time the corruption and hypocrisy at the heart of the war on drugs) and of course the Baltimore asylum. As metaphorised by her childhood trauma of trying to save screaming lambs from the slaughter, brought out in one of her interviews with Lecter, she exists as a desperate and determined hero. Yet on closer examination, the trilogy is actually far less Manichean than any thriller, with clearly identifiable ‘good’ and ‘bad guys’. Lecter is at once a supremely cultured intellectual, with even his imprisoned life spent publishing academic papers and sketching Florentine skylines, and a killer whose predilection is the most savage, animalistic act imaginable, as famously discussed in Michael de Montaigne’s 16th century essay ‘des Cannibales’, and as provided an anagrammatic name for Shakespeare’s ‘Caliban’. (When writing this essay I was asked by a friend if I thought the novels would work as well as they do if Lecter were ‘just’ a serial killer. I’m not sure they would). The contrast between this and the Doctor’s refined sensibilities is of course famously summarised in the superb line about liver and Chianti—though in the book, he prefers the grander Amarone. This blend of mirth, high culture, whimsical brutality and a labyrinthine battle of wits is a potent and enthralling mix indeed, which only needed Hopkins’ expression—or, for that matter, Brian Cox’s—to become iconic. Like Shakespeare’s Gloucester, Lecter can ‘smile, and murder whiles I smile’—though a more apt quote would be (amusingly) from Ignatius Loyola in Middleton’s A Game at Chess, who like Lecter, can ‘with my refin’d nostrils taste the footsteps’ of the souls around him. We have the masterfully choreographed escape scene in the Tennessee jailhouse, juxtaposing Lecter’s sadistic, animalistic mutilation of his guards with his polite mannerisms before (‘ready when you are, Sergeant Pembury…’) and after, his bloodstained hands gently moving to the strains of Goldberg’s Bach Variations. More levels of apparent contradiction are present: his jailer, a supposed ‘good guy’, is the sexist, self-serving and incompetent Chiltern, while the FBI are often misogynist creeps bathing in nepotism and mediocrity. In the third novel the true villain is Verger, himself one of the doctor’s victims, while Starling battles not a serial killer but the corrupt, self-serving Bureau hierarchy and the haughty, predatory Department of Justice attorney Paul Krendler, who with his Ivy League sweater and slick Capitol Hill mannerisms embodies the patrician disdain of the American upper classes in a way that faintly reminds us of Gatsby’s Tom Buchanan or Catch-22’s Captain Aardvark. (‘I’m going to Congress’, he groggily boasts to Starling as he propositions her across Lecter’s dinner table.) Indeed, Hans Zimmer saw his wonderful and very underrated score to the film, all dark, rumbling cellos and strains of opera, as written as much about ‘corruption in the American police force’ as ‘a Freudian archetypal beauty and the beast fairy tale’. This links heavily with the theme of class: Starling’s ‘will to power’ is her desire to escape her working-class roots and achieve something more in D.C.

(…)

Yet the reality that Starling reaches the corridors of American federal power to find them stricken by corruption and closed to people like her serves only to make her—and us—more drawn to Lecter, who for all his monstrosities is by far the warmest, most courteous character of the series, albeit perhaps excluding Starling herself. The best indication that this series is far superior to traditional detective ‘thrillers’ is that the world it creates is, as Demme’s brooding cinematography in Silence of the Lambs and Zimmer’s score to the sequel show, not a traditional detective tale at all, but a story for our own, less certain times, a swirling mass of human struggles against adversity and the darkness of the mind.

(…)

As the sardonic Porfiry says in Crime and Punishment, ‘this is a murky, fantastic case, a contemporary one, an incident that belongs to our own age...in which the heart of man has grown dark and muddied’—and the actual plot is merely a part of Harris’ panoramic American vista. But through it all remains Starling as the hero of the story, striving through the horror around her and the corruption above her to save life. Together, the novels are thus reminiscent as much of Dante’s descent into the underworld as Grimm’s fairy tales. As her adversary, teacher, terror and guardian angel stands Lecter, less a ‘movie villain’, still less a human in any recognisable fashion, and more a fairytale monster:

“Is it true what they’re saying, that he’s some kind of vampire?”

“They don’t have a name for what he is”

Yet Harris makes his setting distinctly modern, despite all of the rich symbology of Blake and Dante (‘I forget your generation doesn’t read’, Lecter sneers to Starling in response to her ignorance of Marcus Aurelius, at once a social comment and a generational one). Like Dracula (also a vampiric Eastern European aristocrat) Lecter is a vision of medieval darkness loosed on the modern, western world of the novel: he may stalk patrician Baltimore and nocturnal Florence, but the FBI’s investigations are conducted by fax machine and helicopter, and Starling’s tracking down of Lecter to Italy in the third book must make the Doctor the first great villain to have been located with the help of the internet. Indeed, in contrast to the woods, castles and caves that play host to more traditional gothic monsters (those of Lovecraft or Poe, for example), Lecter and Starling’s saga is written onto a backdrop of dark modernity, with the films’ tremendous cinematography capturing the oppressive stone and brutalist concrete of the FBI’s headquarters with as much aplomb as the decaying towns haunted by Dolorhyde and Gumb, or the Appalachian trauma in Starling’s own subconscious.

(…)

Of course, what really matters in any fairytale is how it ends, and here I think we can really get to the heart of what makes these novels so good. In this regard, the key theme is transformation. This is established early on: the behavioural analysts of the FBI attempt to understand what transforms a human into a manhunter and unravel Dolorhyde’s fantasies of transformation into the demonic Red Dragon as the end-point of his childhood trauma. In Silence, the transformation of ‘Buffalo Bill’ is mirrored in his fascination with moths emerging from their chrysalis. That being said, I believe Harris should never have elaborated on Lecter’s early life—he appears more unearthly and far more unsettling if he simply is, without an explanation of how he came to be—that ultimately will always be more mundane than no explanation at all. Yet to return to the point, the great transformation of the series is that undergone by Starling herself. She comes to Lecter as a student, both literally and metaphorically, and his role is not that of an antagonist, but of a teacher. In this regard, the old commonplace that film adaptations are worse than the original book is actually true in reverse, because—and if you haven’t seen it, please stop reading here—the film adaptation of Hannibal upholds Starling’s heroism, having her attempt to arrest Lecter instead of eloping with him, as she does in the somewhat flippant book ending. Perhaps that ending has merit—Lecter’s hypnosis of Starling would seem to be the logical conclusion of Harris’ satirisation of psychiatry and poses interesting questions about the borders between love and revenge, right and wrong, pharmacological drugs and biological hormones which are worth thinking about, but I maintain that the more traditionally ‘good’ resolution of Starling’s story is superior. The reason why the trilogy’s film ending works so much better as a fairytale is because as Chesterton famously said, fairytales may bring monsters to life, but they also bring to life the heroes that fight them. Fittingly, in the film’s conclusion, Starling’s journey into heroism is vocalised by the monster with whom she has become inexorably tied:

“Would they have you back, do you think? The FBI? Those people you despise almost as much as they despise you? Would they give you a medal, Clarice, do you think? Would you have it professionally framed and hang it on your wall to look at and remind you of your courage and incorruptibility? All you would need for that, Clarice, is a mirror.”

It is in this moment that we realise—just in case we haven’t already—that their story is one of terror, but also one of a strangely moving beauty, and Lecter’s subsequent escape into Ridley Scott’s firework-strewn night preserves the best aspects of a fairytale: the mystery, and the magic. He has lived to kill another day, but the monster’s decision, unable to hurt Starling, to cut off his own hand rather than hers to get free of her handcuffs implies that he may have transformed her during their time together, but maybe, just maybe, she transformed him too.

Viewed in succession, as they must be, these aren’t simply ‘thrillers’. They’re a fairytale for the modern age, and it’s therefore fitting that their heart is inhabited by a very modern monster indeed. Their story conjures thrills, introspection, sorrow and joy in surprising measures, from Graham’s first, fateful call on Lecter’s opulent Baltimore study, to the gloriously melancholic sunset conclusion of the series, as time ticks inexorably on to the final dinner party and the tantalising end to this deeply amusing parable. It retains the power to leave us truly entranced, and against it, most so-called ‘thrillers’ appear juvenile and insipid. Chianti will never sound the same again.”

[moralityblurred]

here i am emotionally compromised again. i’ve been reading tweak for more insight on nic and just. wow. literally started reading it yesterday afternoon and i’m already over halfway through it. it’s a little scary how much i can relate to his ways of thinking. i’m trying NOT to overthink about that.

and then i went to go change my discord status as i do every morning and i was sifting through cmbyn quotes and god, every time i get to quotes from when elio visits oliver at his university fifteen years later and they end up having a drink at elio’s hotel...i’m just struck dumb with the ACHE of that meeting. of course, we don’t see oliver’s side of things and he seems cool and collected, congenial, offering to introduce elio to his family. but can he really be that callous to everything going through elio’s mind? no -- because he hesitates before accepting elio’s invite to the hotel. “i said a drink, not a fuck.” oliver knows. he knows himself, remember? he knows elio. he knows he still feels something for elio, knows he wants to fall in bed with him, even if he ultimately decides to be good to his wife, he WANTS to.

and then when oliver visits elio at the villa again after the professor dies. the whole ‘you’re the only person i want to say goodbye to in this world.’ makes me cry every time. i’m crying right now. they’ve barely spoken for twenty years, seen each other once, and yet elio is still full of this feeling that oliver is one of the most important parts of his life. even though he talks about how his life isn’t segmented so much by oliver’s summer, but by other lovers that came after him.( 'Many helped me part life into Before X and After X segments, many brought joy and sorrow, many threw my life off course, while others made no difference whatsoever, so that Oliver, who for so long had loomed like a fulcrum on the scale of life, eventually acquired successors who either eclipsed him or reduced him to an early milepost, a minor fork in the road, a small, fiery Mercury on a voyage out to Pluto and beyond.’ ) it’s still super clear that oliver is important to him. he can’t feel nothing. he both wants to feel nothing and to be thrown right back into every feeling of that summer when ‘he became me and i became him in bed so many years ago.’

i can’t even describe the feeling that overcomes me about this. it’s beautiful that those feelings are still there, even after all these years, even after oliver has married and made a family, even after elio has moved on with his life too & is a successful concert pianist. it’s also INCREDIBLY sad and tragic that circumstances kept these two deeply in love people apart. they could have shared so. many. things. together. it rips me apart inside. i can’t breathe. i want the connection that oliver and elio have, but the thought of losing something so goddamn precious is TERRIFYING.

inevitably i start thinking about find me, too, and i have to wonder about the final section of the book where oliver & elio are traveling together, and then there’s miranda and little oliver at the villa. when i read more carefully, i could see how it was written that oliver leaving his wife is just a fantasy he has, and maybe it doesn’t actually happen. maybe it just plays out in his head. which would mean his return to italy, to ELIO, never happens. which means he never gets to meet little oliver. and the last chapter is just another fantasy, except how could he imagine someone he hasn’t met or heard about? i have to hope that the last section of the book isn’t just a dream sequence. i have to hope that these two deeply-emotional human beings don’t have to spend the rest of their lives apart from one another, maybe speaking infrequently, maybe visiting each other here & there, but never getting to be together the way they should be. because thinking otherwise feels like it will break me.

it shouldn’t matter -- they’re just fictional characters, but i think what hurts the most is how REAL it feels. because this happens to people all the time -- falling in love with someone only to lose them, for whatever reason. i’m just super fucked up about it.

[pocketfulofrecs]

Our first Author Spotlight is finally here! And the first author in the spotlight is justdoityoufucker!

They have published 31k+ words on mdzs fic on ao3 - 7 works and 1 series. You can find them on @whiteflowercrimsonparasol on tumblr and @justdoityoufucker on twitter.

Their fics:

i’ll keep on walking (our post) - [teen | 2.6k | wen qing time travels and changes things]

violent delights - [teen | 4.3k | no golden core transfer]

i had to abandon myself (you took all of me) - [mature | 10k | wip | everything changes after the staged fight]

the world wags on (our post) - [teen | 3.4k | wei changze is alive]

in payment, a hand (series) - [teen | 10k | yzy cuts off wwx’s hand]:

and there was a new voice (which you slowly recognized as your own)

moved through my heart (like the thinnest of blades)

such music (you stood stock still)

Dee’s favourite: Honestly, violent delights is just so sweet? I love all of their works, but violent delights has a special place in my heart. The sheer hilarity of WWX’s Golden Core just refusing to reside in JC’s body made me cackle. Also, it ended so sweetly. I really love it!

Ju’s favourite: This was hard, but I’m between “i’ll keep walking” because I love time travel and Wen Qing, and she is so badass on this one, and fixes everything, and in the end she has her family safe, including her new brother Wei Wuxian. And “in payment, a hand”, that is a very interesting series, and Wei Wuxian gets a family that he deserves, and the Jiangs also get what they deserve. It’s sad in the beginning, but it gets so soft at the end, and we can see wangxian intimacy, and how they love each other. It’s just really lovely, okay?

The interview:

Q. When did you start writing fics? Did you have fandoms before this one?

A. I started around 2009. My first fanfiction attempts were for the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist anime and movie and pretty quickly petered off, but I really got into fanfiction when I reread and finished watching Naruto around 2016. It’s still the fandom I’ve produced the most published (and unpublished) fanfiction for, but I’ve also written some works in the Voltron: Legendary Defender and Bleach fandoms.

Q. What made you start writing for MDZS?

A. I actually wasn’t planning on writing for MDZS! I wanted to write SVSSS fanfiction when I first got into danmei and c-novels! But I found some really thoughtful meta posts on characterization in MDZS and the MDZS fandom, as well as some fics that I felt were really good and showed really good characterization, which made me lose most of my self-control. And then I found some prompts that were going around, and I lost the rest of my self control and now, well, here we are.

Q. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

A. For MDZS, it’s a work-in-progress, but i had to abandon myself (you took all of me). It’s allowing me to explore philosophy for the first time in a few years, and it’s given me a reason to really research what the setting of MDZS might have been like and how cultivation (in the context of xianxia novels) works and could work.

Q. What’s your favourite type of fics to read?

A. I love love love fluff fics in general! I also have been really enjoying canon-divergence fics for MDZS, there’s some writers in this fandom who do those “what if?” kind of scenarios really well. Honorary mention, also, to fics where Wei Wuxian is raised in another sect

Q. What’s your favourite comment? Or type of comment?

A. Any comment!! Honestly, the entire idea that people like my writing enough to tell me will always boggle my mind, especially if it allows for me (as the author) to engage with my readers.

Q. What motivates you to write?

A. Most of the time, just the simple need to get an idea down and tell a story. I’ve been writing fiction since I was in fourth grade and fanfiction has been a really good outlet for me in that regard. Occasionally I’ll dive back into original fiction, but fanfiction in particular already has a basis for characterization which makes it easier, for me, to write.

Q. Who’s your favorite author?

A. I honestly can’t choose a favorite fan author because there are soooooo many who are incredibly talented, but in terms of professional authors I love MXTX (of course) and Tamora Pierce! If you like historical fantasy, I highly recommend her Tortall and Emelan books.

Q. What is your favorite trope to read and/or write?

A. I loooooove soulmate AUs (as evidenced by how many of them I’ve written for other fandoms)! I also really love, in the MDZS fandom, to read and write time travel AUs. They allow for really cool exploration of what could happen and how one person’s actions could change the whole course of the story.

Q. Do you have any advice for new authors?

A. You don’t need to finish everything you start. I have folders just full of WIPs that I’m probably never going to finish, but all of those words and all of that plotting and planning still contributed to where I am today! Also, I highly recommend keeping those unfinished works because one day you might use them! I’ve reused ideas, dialogue, and even actual passages from my WIP when writing something new.

Q. What do you think is the most important element in writing? Plot, characterization, relationship?

A. Of course, all elements are important, but characterization! Characters usually drive every other aspect of the plot, the setting, and are usually make-or-break for me as a reader.

~

Check out their stories on ao3 and remember...

Comments and kudos feed the author’s soul.

[goatsandgangsters]

Much as I LOVE the boat chapters of Siege and Storm because I’m a sucker for bottle episodes and “people who don’t like each other grudgingly having to work together on a task and try not to murder each other” (seriously, I wish that section had been the entire book because I had so much fun), I reeeeeeeally don’t think it will actually WORK for the show and needs some fixing:

Reasons why I don’t think it’s narratively strong (despite being tropey as fuck in ways I enjoy)

Way too much of an immediate Uno reverse. Shadow and Bone ends with “oh yay, we escaped the Darkling” and then the FIRST CHAPTER of Siege and Storm is “surprise bitches, bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” aaaaaand they’re captive again

The narrative tension of Alina thinking he’s dead gets shot reaaaal fast, minimizing the payoff

Alina��…. doesn’t do anything. At all. In this entire part of the book. The Darkling sets their little whaling field trip in motion, Mal tracks the sea whip, Nikolai arranges the rescue entirely unbeknownst to Alina, who doesn’t get anything meaningful to do during this little excursion. Considering how much more agency the show has been trying to give Alina at every turn (thank god), an entire boating expedition where Her Three Boys are the only active agents while she’s just a spectator isn’t gonna fly

Objectively it’s a really dumb ~villainous plot. “well, killing an amplifier and putting it on you to take your power didn’t work well LAST TIME, but let’s immediately try again. I’m sure it will work out better this time.” I’m in it for the plot (the Darkling standing at the bow, gazing out at the water with his cloak billowing around him), but for viewers who are in it for the PLOT Plot, it’s just… the same plot as last time, but shorter. Disappointing. Will be super obvious when you binge. 

In the book, the Darkling needs to show up again in order to Be In The Story since everything is limited to Alina’s point of view, but that’s obviously not true in the show and that opens up a lot more options for what he could be doing and ways he can be present in the story without Currently Talking to Alina 

Personally, my idea for the show's sea whip in order to a) make more sense plot wise, b) give Alina more agency, c) not IMMEDIATELY rehash the exact same ending of the previous book vis-a-vis “oh no we’re captured” and “oh no another unwanted amplifier”

Alina and Mal are already on the same boat as the Crows at the end of season 1, so they’re at least heading in the same direction for now

We open with Alina and Mal lying low in Ketterdam

Alina gets her wish to visit the library in Ketterdam (good opportunity to start incorporating some Jesper backstory too), where she’s doing her own research on how to make her power stronger and trying to piece together information on Morozova’s amplifiers (unfortunately, the Little Palace library has the BEST books on the subject, but she’ll make do in Ketterdam)

Alina makes the decision to go after the sea whip herself, because Alina Actually Getting To Make Choices And Drive Her Own Story is my kink (as well as Alina Actually Getting To Want and Seek Out Power)

But o! We need a ship! How ever will we go chasing this legendary sea monster?

Fortunately, Kaz-who-knows-everything knows of a certain sea captain juuuust crazy enough to take on the job. He’s due to dock in Ketterdam for trade within a fortnight. Kaz offers to make contact

I wrote this in literally two minutes: “Can we trust him?” Mal asks. “You can’t trust anyone,” Kaz says sharply, “but he’s a legendary smuggler and a patriot.” “A patriot?” Alina asks. “What d’you mean, a patriot?”  Then, from behind them, “A patriot, lovely, means I care about the fate of Ravka, a fate which is currently quite precarious, wouldn’t you say? I’ve agreed to help your little expedition for the good of our country. And for a rather handsome sum of money.” Kaz rolls his eyes. “What is it, Mr. Brekker? No secret honorable intentions, no love of your homeland, lurking in that cold heart of yours?” “Kerch can sink for all I care.” “Well, in that case, best set sail before that happens. I’d hate to ruin these shoes.” 

I don’t know exactly what I want the Darkling to be doing during all of this, but fortunately this isn’t my job to figure out and hopefully they’ll come up with something clever that isn’t “hand him the idiot ball and make him try literally the same villainous scheme a second time.”

We can already establish the darklina mental link as forged through the stag—considering the change that they both had the same bone in them (lol)—or even have the bond start once she gets the sea whip. The stag makes sense because same bone, BUT the sea whip has the potential of “wait, why is this happening, why does this connect me to you, you had nothing to do with this” so that we can build on his own connections to Morozova

Pros: avoids literally rehashing the same thing that JUST happened at the end of Shadow and Bone; makes the sea whip Alina’s choice; lets Alina drive the story instead of Her Three Boys; incorporates the Crows into Alina’s story before they diverge again; lets Ivan live longer

Cons: we can’t dub “my heart will go on” over darklina boat argument scenes :(

[agentem]

Emily rewatches "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness"

Just watched this for the first time since the theater on Disney+. I was unhappy with it when I first saw it. I really wanted it to be Wanda's story and it's not.

But if you actually pay attention to the dumb Stephen bits it does make more sense. Or at least it has more of an internal logic than I thought it did before.

I got, on the first viewing, that Stephen saw the star in the Book of Vishanti and intuited that America's powers were similar, so that is why she told America she had to fight Wanda. But I guess I hadn't extrapolated out as far as I did on the second viewing.

We're exploring various extremes of Strange along two measures that I guess are the most Strange-ish (Strange-y) which is his need to "hold the knife", as Christine says, and how that changes with the intervention of the Book if Vishanti or the Darkhold.

We open in the Gap Junction with our most Strangey Strange: Defender Strange. The movie defines Stranges by Christine's line that he always had to be the one holding the knife. So when I say he's the most Strangey, I mean he's the one who holds the knife the most, but has never encountered the book of Vishanti or the Darkhold (until now).

But what America (or if you are cynical, the story) needs in that moment is a Strange who WILL NOT use the knife, one who will let her use her powers. Because she is basically the human embodiment of the Book of Vishanti, which are supposed to be what you need at that moment. "It gives you what you need."

So she opens a portal and it takes her to what she needs, which is "our Strange." I refuse to call him 616.

Our Strange is at a wedding and Christine asks him if he's happy. This is important because it gives us two separate timelines diverging from this moment. One where America comes into his life and one where she doesn't. If she doesn't, apparently he gets the Darkhold and becomes Sinister Strange and ruins the universe. I don't like that it's not explained how he would get the Darkhold from Wanda.

Sinister Strange is more important that 838 Strange, who has lived in what appears to be a different timeline (again I am unclear about the difference between timelines and universes but it seems like 838 branches off WAY before Sinister Strange's timeline does, because the entire battle with Thanos went differently).

I'm not really sure what 838 is supposed to show our Strange, really. Because in theory, each time America opens a portal it is to the place you need to go. But all Strange seems to learn is that Incursions are bad, but he could've just went directly to Sinister Strange and learned that as well.

It could be to remind him, and us the audience, that Wanda doesn't have to be evil. That seems to be her universe where she is her "best self," where she gets what she needs and she never encounters the Darkhold.

The film keeps giving Wanda the line "I'm not a monster, I'm a mother" which is annoying because the MCU already had problems with that binary. But the intention is not quite the same as Whedon. It's more like Wanda doesn't see herself as a monster because she is a mother. Like that is defense to do anything. Strange asks her what happens to the twins' actual mother and she doesn't ever get the chance to respond. Wong asks her why she can't be happy knowing the kids are happy elsewhere and she throws him off the cliff.

838 Wanda is certainly the Wanda that our Wanda needs though. Because even though our Wanda takes her body, and throws her across a room, (and possibly wants her dead if our Wanda ever responded to the what happens to her question), that Wanda offers forgiveness to our Wanda and finally makes her realize (she stumbles over the word mother, and looks at 838 Wanda as if realizes she is the true mother?) that she has been corrupted by the Darkhold and her reasoning is flawed.

So it's possible 838 is the convenient, solving the plot problems dimension, I guess. Because it is also where Stephen makes peace with his relationship with Christine being over, instead of going home and using the Darkhold to get what he wants (and it's possible that is how Sinister Strange got the Darkhold, from Wanda in this instance? I think it would've been cooler if they made that clear.)

And then when America opens another portal in the Gap Junction, it finally takes them to where Stephen needs to go which is to the Darkhold where Sinister Strange has it.

But the universes don't fully square up along the want/need vs knife/no knife axis.

It might also imply that our Strange has to kill the two most extreme Stranges (Defender and Sinister) versions of himself to get what he "needs." And that is why Defender Strange's corpse and Sinister Strange's copy of the Darkhold (all Darkholds) are destroyed with Wanda.

And I'm not sure what it says about the incidents with Thanos and the Time Stone. I mean the existence of the film suggests things that "need" to happen do, which is a very complicated way of saying "because of reasons."

It also implies that when America saw that bee, her parents NEEDED to be sucked away from her and leave her an orphan and I'm not at all certain why that would be the case. Because she needs to be an orphan? That seems wrong.

At the end, Strange asks Wong if he is happy, and I'd love to see the movie examining his character along the multiverse. Like what is his central conflict? But we won't get it.

[alphynix]

Spectember Interlude: All Yestermorrows

C. M. Kösemen, also known as "Nemo Ramjet" or "Memo", is a Turkish artist and researcher known for his paleoart, photography, surreal and sometimes Gigeresque imagery, and speculative evolution work.

His 2006 book All Tomorrows explores a speculative future in a similar manner to Last and First Men and Man After Man. While often haunting and strange, and occasionally silly or oddly touching, potential readers of All Tomorrows should be aware of possibly disturbing content, since it does contain some nudity and body horror along with plot elements of eugenics, xenophobia, religious fanaticism, and repeated genocides.

Beginning close to our own present day, the story covers many millions of years of evolution and genetic engineering, all framed as the "best guess" reconstructed history of humanity as assembled by a paleoanthropologist living a billion years from now.

It starts off fairly tame, with minor anatomical divergences in Martian colonists, a war for planetary independence, and the development of a genetically engineered spacefaring subspecies of human – but then things start to get weird. What is initially believed to be a complete lack of other intelligent life in the Milky Way is thrown into question by the discovery of a fossil of an unmistakably Earth-based lifeform on a distant alien world – hinting at the existence of an incredibly ancient and powerful civilization, capable of transplanting and genetically modifying species for unknown purposes.

…A civilization which eventually revisits the human-colonized galaxy, and proves to be intensely hostile. In the aftermath of this devastating first contact, posthuman survivors evolve and rediscover each other, fight more wars, contact other aliens, and even return to the long-lost Earth.

In 2008 Kösemen completed his most well-known speculative evolution project – Snaiad, a huge worldbuilding endeavor that depicts the natural history of an alien planet.

A world much older than the Earth, the planet Snaiad experienced multiple cataclysmic mass extinctions over its eight billion years of evolutionary history, essentially "resetting" complex life a few times. While there are a couple of enigmatic hints in the fossil record of what may have been past civilizations, the fauna at the time of human colonization contains no sapient species.

The main branch of Snaiadi life catalogued in the project are the highly diverse "vertebrates", which are superficially convergent with Earth tetrapods – but their internal skeletons are hydrocarbon-based, and their four legs are formed from the fusion of eight ancestral limbs. Their primary muscles are hydraulic, evolved from the water vascular system of a sea cucumber-like ancestor, and function based on pushing rather than pulling. What appears to be a "head' is actually a genital stalk sporting pseudo-jaws often used for food processing, while phallic-looking structures growing from the creatures' chests contain their true heads and mouths.

An updated version of Snaiad is currently in development, with the goal to eventually publish it in book form.

Kösemen was also a co-author of the 2012 book All Yesterdays, along with Darren Naish and John Conway. Arguing that much of conventional paleoart was outdated, overly conservative, shrink-wrapped, and inaccurate compared to our understanding of animal anatomy and behavior, All Yesterdays mainly explored speculative-but-plausible reconstructions of prehistoric life – and was incredibly influential on modern paleoart, being a major part of the ongoing "second dinosaur renaissance".

The free "sequel" e-book All Your Yesterdays in 2013 collected together images from many other artists, and featured even more paleontological speculation. Notably one of its entries accurately predicted a later discovery – the speculative filter-feeding "Bearded Ceticaris" by John Meszaros turned out to have had a real-life analogue in the form of Tamisocaris borealis.

2013 also saw the publication of Cryptozoologicon, again a collaboration between Kösemen, Naish, and Conway. Applying speculative biology to various cryptids, this book reviews the evidence for each featured creature and then presents a playful reconstruction of their possible identity and evolutionary history.

Next week: bird is the word.

[ceterisparibus116]

Daredevil scenes / plot points you would have done differently? (I get a suspicion a lot of them have to do with the law stuff, Frank Castle's trial especially. 😉 )

Aaaaa I love this question! Warning: VERY long response:

DEFINITELY the Frank Castle trial. Man, it could’ve been SO GOOD. I have a lot of issues with it, obviously, but the main one is that Matt treating Frank as a hostile witness could’ve been amazing (character-driven, emotionally-charged, also at times hilarious), and we were ROBBED.

 I also wish Matt could’ve been involved in more trial prep. The show makes it seem almost like Matt’s skill is limited to courtroom antics, but charisma and the ability to think on your feet in the courtroom mean next to nothing if you haven’t laid a foundation with good legal research and legal writing. I would’ve loved it if the legal plotlines showed us more of that. Like, you know Matt and Karen’s date night in S2 where she helps him come up with witness questions? I would’ve loved it if: a) they’d gotten, like, ANY part of that scene correct from a legal standpoint, and b) if we could’ve gotten MORE. I know that kind of thing might seem boring, but I don’t think it would be. You can really show off characters’ personalities in that kind of environment, and then the audience gets the reward of seeing that hard work pay off at trial.

 Speaking of, I know we’ve talked before about S3 splitting everyone up. I still think that could’ve maybe been worth it if we’d gotten a S4 where we could see how everyone learned from how disastrous the S3 isolation was, but without S4, everyone’s isolation in S3 is really unfortunate. I would’ve loved to see Nelson, Murdock, and Page working together for at least half of the season, instead of just the last 3-ish episodes. It would’ve been fascinating to watch, since Matt would still not be in a great headspace, and Karen would still be hurt, and Foggy would be just Trying To Deal with his idiot best friends. (But since we don’t have that, at least we have my S3 canon-divergent retelling thing: Take A Deep Breath – shameless plug.)

 I also would’ve generally kept the stakes lower in S2 and S3. I think you agree with me that both seasons would’ve been more powerful if we’d had more lower-level villains. But one of my favorite things about S1 is that we get to know the people who are at stake. Unlike in the Avengers where it’s just “the world” or “New York” or something, S1 showed us a little boy who wanted to go back to his dad, and Elena, and that one juror who was being exploited, and Melvin, and even a bad guy like Vladimir, and they’re ALL sympathetic. We really understand who Matt’s fighting for, but with the exception of Grotto, Jasper Evans, and Julie Barnes, I don’t feel like we really get that in S2 and S3.

 Related: our S2 ninjas needed a clearer motivation. (That goes for Defenders, too.) Imo, they needed personal stakes. Fisk’s mission to clean up Hell’s Kitchen was personal. Frank’s mission to take out bad guys was personal. Everything about Elektra was personal. Dex’s desperate attempt to find a place for himself and find people who care about him was VERY personal. But the Hand? Not personal at all.

 With Elektra…I’m torn. Part of me really wishes Matt could’ve told her no and maintained his boundaries all along, because a) I hate love-triangle-type drama and drama that could be resolved if people just stopped keeping secrets, and b) it would’ve been so refreshing to see the femme fatal trope subverted, and c) it would’ve given Elektra more agency. That being said…that might be veering too far away from comics canon. Matt is canonically a disaster with relationships, and he and Elektra have this whole…epic…magnetic…thing. I personally would argue that the show isn’t beholden to the canon in this specific way, but I can see how people would be upset if Matt and Elektra hadn’t turned out the way they did in S2.

 I would’ve liked Marci to have a smidge more character development. She was so sweet and supportive in S3and I don’t…quite…know where that came from? Oh, well.

 Speaking of character development: I wish Matt and Foggy could’ve had some real conversations. Aside from when Foggy found Matt at the gym in S1 and they talked about moving forward, I don’t feel like they had deep conversations that weren’t arguments. Matt’s S3 apology is good, but I would’ve loved to see Foggy apologize for how he contributed to the problems in their friendship. I also wish we could’ve seen Foggy explicitly thank Matt for, y’know…SAVING HIS LIFE.

 As for Karen, I wish her revelation scene to Matt had been more about HER. It says a lot about how selfless she is that she used her own pain to try to convince Matt not to kill Fisk. But even though I know Matt’s super depressed and everything, I would’ve loved to see him put his own angsty issues aside for a sec and just be there for his friend and the woman he loves. Even the fact that she is the one who crosses the room to be close to him is telling; he should’ve gone over to her when she started crying and been there for her.

 Although if I’m talking about Matt’s romantic relationships, I wouldn’t have minded if the show went a Clairedevil route. Although that would require A LOT. I do wish, if I’m being really fanciful, that we could’ve seen Claire in S3. Or, at minimum, seen Matt and Claire interact in Defenders.

 FATHER LANTOM TELLING MATT THAT GUILT IS A SIGN THAT HIS WORK IS NOT DONE. I cannot with that scene. I love Father Lantom, but that? Really? I mean, I get it. That’s a common way that Catholic doctrine is interpreted, and it’s what Matt basically wants to hear anyway, but it is SUCH a dangerous thing to tell Matt (and I feel like Father Lantom should’ve known that???) and it’s also, as I understand it, not even the technically correct Catholic interpretation of guilt. Like, that’s literally not what guilt is or how it’s supposed to work. (Although who knows. I’m not Catholic, and as I understand it, Catholics themselves vary a lot in their interpretations of doctrine. So idk.) If I were writing that scene, I would definitely not have written Father Lantom to say that.

 On the religious theme, I wish S3 had circled back to Matt’s original objections related to the book of Job. He gets quite a few things wrong in his recap, and I’m not sure if Maggie didn’t correct him because she didn’t know better, or because she didn’t think a Biblical literacy lecture was what he needed at the moment, OR because the writers couldn’t be bothered to read the book. (In fairness…it’s a long and complicated book. But they couldn’t have been bothered to read a commentary on it?) I wish S3 had not stopped at giving Matt an abstract tapestry analogy to heal his faith when it also should’ve addressed his specific complaints.

I wish we’d had more time to see Matt and Maggie repair their relationship, or start to. And I wish she’d hugged him at Literally Any Point.

I wish the whole Matt-hallucinating thing had been clearer. Was he actually hallucinating? Or was that just his internal monologue manifested through other characters? If he was hallucinating, did he just...stop? Is he not freaked out about that? What was going on????

Oh, and if only they could’ve gotten Dex’s psychological diagnosis right.

 Other than that, there are a couple scenes that I feel like drag on way too long (S3 especially has an odd amount of monologues that generally strike me as OOC anyway—except with Fisk; he’s just Like That) but I don’t want to go into all of them. It would be hypocritical, given how long this reply is. :P

 So yeah, I think I’ll stop there, although I’m sure there’s more, haha. Thank you again for the ask and the excuse to ramble about Daredevil! I look forward to your thoughts as well.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Alright, I’ve been saying I’m going to do some Masterposts for my 25 AO3 fics, so here we go...

For those who don’t know me, I write Acespec Ineffable Husbands, and my specialities are historical adventures, character studies, and gut-punching angst. My main series, Sawdust of Words (SoW) contains all of these in spades! Check the TW on anything rated T, as that usually indicates non-graphic violence, threats of violence and physical/emotional abuse.

Please select desired angst level:

I just want something warm and fluffy!

Finding the Words: G, 4509. Aziraphale has something he rather desperately wants to tell Crowley. Immediately after the Ritz. (SoW)

Blizzard! Broken Thermostat! Only One Bed!: G, 1438. It’s snowing — I mean BLIZZARDING — and Crowley has no choice but to pull over at a conveniently located luxury hotel. No choice! Will his cunning plan succeed?

Perception: G, 715. Crowley puzzles over one of the great mysteries of the universe: why isn’t EVERYONE in love with Aziraphale?

Reflections: G, 1229. Aziraphale’s simple question, Do you think I should change, hides a world of doubt. Fortunately, Crowley knows just what to say.

Quarantine: G, 554. Aziraphale and Crowley are quarantined in the bookshop! Wait...why? Half PSA, half clueless flirting!

I want some feels and a happy ending.

Early Days: G, 19,459. In the Beginning, an Angel and Demon met on the Wall of Eden. The next day they really started getting on each other’s nerves. See the very beginning of this relationship for the ages! (SoW)

Careful: G, 1664. For nearly 6,000 years, Aziraphale has been careful to control his actions, his feelings and his thoughts. Until Crowley makes a request that could destroy them both. Divergent AU starting with the fight at St James’s Park.

The Dark of Eden: G, 2980. On their last night in Eden, Aziraphale and Crowley walk together trough the Garden, each reflecting on what he’s lost. But perhaps there is something they have gained. Intended to be fluff, came out sort of melancholy. Direct follow-up to Early Days (SoW)

Sealed: G, 5835. London, Three weeks after the Apocalypse: Crowley finds a certain document tucked away in a forgotten book. / Mercia, 1020 CE: An angel and a demon meet to finalize an Arrangement... (SoW)

Reckless: G, 6303. After Aziraphale's reckless confession, he and Crowley must make plans to keep themselves safe. But the worst happens when certain uninvited guests arrive at the bookshop... Sequel to Careful, one more part expected.

Mystery Science Theater 6000: The 1992 Screenplay: G, 8528. An angel and a demon sit down to watch (and mock, and analyze) a movie that probably shouldn’t exist. A little heavier on the feels than originally anticipated. (Only covers the first 30 pages of the Screenplay, so there may be another chapter or 3 in order.)

Of Poetry and Valentines: G, 3435. Crowley can’t stand what Valentine’s Day has become. If he has to look at one more heart-shaped cake, he’s going to be sick. But it wasn’t always that way. Guess which holiday this was written for!

Our Side: G, 1172. After the end, on the bus ride home, Aziraphale despairs. But Crowley shares a new dream... A ButterOmens fic started by @sani-86!

Anniversaries: G, 2422. Just over a year after the apocalypse didn’t happen, Aziraphale and Crowley’s picnic is interrupted by an old enemy. A ButterOmens fic started by @n0nb1narydemon!

A Cunning Plan: G, 11,275. Two angels and two demons decide to get their revenge on the traitors. But holding Aziraphale captive turns out to be harder than expected. Can they break through his defenses before Crowley mounts a successful rescue? ButterOmens fic begun by @kaz3313!

I want LOTS of angsty feels! (Note: endings range from happy to hopeful)

Give Them Hell: G, 1179 words. After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley discuss plans for their upcoming trials... (SoW)

Someplace You Belong: G, 5326. London, 1800, Aziraphale finds he must come to terms with the unexpected emotions of his near-promotion. With gentle prodding from Crowley, he reveals a secret. Something of a follow-up to Obedience, but you will likely still feel sad! (SoW)

In Love with My Car: G, 3287. London, 1933, After 70 years of naps, Crowley meets someone who just might change his life. It’s the Bentley! (SoW) Also has a podfic by @exmarks

What it Means to Be A Demon: T, 32,284. Mesopotamia, c. 2400 BC. After an especially harrowing trip to Hell, Crawley arrives in a tiny Mesopotamian village, where he encounters a familiar face. But Aziraphale soon realizes Crawley isn't acting like his old self. Between his foul mood, his mysterious injuries, and his refusal to talk, the demon is certainly hiding something. What has brought Crawley to Gu'Edena? And is there anything Aziraphale can do? So many TWs — please tread carefully! (SoW)

Boundless Love: G, 54,200 (some chapters approach a T rating). 17 stories of Aziraphale and Crowley, 17 chances to fall in love. Written for @drawlight’s Advent Challenge. (Note: these stories are thematically connected, but they are separate stories, not a single plot.)

Aziraphale’s Path: G, 524. Many years later, Heaven and Hell come for them. Aziraphale returns home too late. Is Crowley gone forever? Part of a ButterOmens chain started by @holycatsandrabbits — links are in the fic!

Never Alone Again: G, 9577. They're on their own side now. But they aren't free yet. After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley risk everything in one final, desperate gamble to break free of their old sides and truly start their life together. Bus Ride, Body Swap and Trials, overlaps Give Them Hell and ends just before Finding the Words. (SoW)

Kindly rip out my still-beating heart.

Obedience: T, 1797. Before Eden, before the Fall, there was a War in Heaven. Somewhere amongst the eternal fighting on the endless battlefield, one angel learns the consequences of disobeying an order. This one is an absolute gut punch you have been warned. (SoW)

Three Little Words: G, 3361. London, 1849, Crowley has something he rather desperately wants to tell Aziraphale. But there are some things a demon can never say. Sad ending! But only because this is part of a larger series! It’s going to be ok! (SoW)

Claimed: T, 4182. A dinner of crepes. An angel who's ready to talk. But Crowley's evening is interrupted by the arrival of two demons. And they're not here to deliver a rude note. Made for @whiteleyfoster’s contest. Downer ending, though this one may get another chapter or two in the future to mitigate that.

—

Please feel free to save/reblog to help spread the word!

[faejilly]

I was tagged by @la-muerta​ & @facialteeth​ & @thedivinemissema​ for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN  by @shadoedseptmbr​ @msviolacea​ & @ravenclawnerd​ for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic  au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 15: Thoughts on Fandom

Not feeling too well this evening but hopefully a good night's sleep will make me feel better and tomorrow will be low key and chill. And my hot water will be fixed successfully.

I was thinking today about how I've felt for a long time that I'm 'between fandoms' even though technically, literally, I'm not. I continue to write and read for The 100 but I don't entirely feel like I'm in the fandom. Sometimes I think I should just leave officially, but then I think--but to go where? And "Star Trek" seems both an obvious and an incorrect answer. It's like I'm not truly invested anywhere, but in a sort of limbo-like space.

Anyway, so I broke it down like this.

I want 3 three things from "fandom," broadly speaking:

1. To engage with media that I really love.

Examples: waiting for new installments (for ongoing media); rewatching or rereading; obsessing over how great the characters or stories are, dissecting plot lines and themes.

2. To engage with a fan community that also loves the media I love.

Examples: reading fanfiction; reading meta; engaging in online discussions; reading other people's excited posts; following blogs relating to the media in question; reblogging gifsets/graphics/fan art

3. To engage creatively with the source material through transformative works.

Example: writing fanfiction.

Ideally, I'd have one piece of media that fulfills all of these purposes. That was T100 for me for a while. But then I stopped watching the show in late S4, and got farther and farther away from the 'current' fandom. And then the show ended, and on such a sour note, so that the fandom itself, the fan community, started changing. And at the same time, I started getting seriously back into Star Trek again.

So now I'm in this place, where I'm still at least kind of engaged in all three aspects of the fandom experience, but not in a unified way.

Star Trek is fulfilling the first purpose of fandom for me, right now. I'm loving rewatching TOS, and the AOS movies too, and I just have a lot of Emotions about the characters and universe. It's that good kinda excitement that a show (or book or movie or whatever) that you really love always gives. Like--ahh!!! I cannot feel anything else but just happiness because I love this so much!

BUT I'm not engaging with ST in either the second or third sense of fandom. I follow a couple ST blogs but there aren't many truly active TOS/AOS centric blogs out there right now. I don't read any ST fanfic because, well, first of all I never really did, and second, I'm far enough behind on my T100 fic! And I have rl people like my mom and B to talk about it with, but not really anyone on tumblr or wherever who's into it like I am.

And though I've vaguely plotted and poked at some fic ideas, I haven't done any real ST writing in a long time--again because I have ideas for T100 that I need/want to get to first, and I'm not writing so much anyway now in general.

On the other hand, T100 is definitely NOT fulfilling function (1) for me and hasn't in a long time. When I stopped watching the show, I still engaged with the canon a little. I watched other people get excited or debate or discuss. I noticed the patterns of fandom as the show went into and out of hiatus. Plus, I still enjoyed the early seasons and liked early-canon and canon-divergent fics (reading and planning/writing). But even that is largely fading for me. I've been trying to rewatch the show but it's not really doing anything for me... I have a hard time getting into it. The canon-divergent fics I'm writing for the collab are not interesting me in the least, either.

I realized today that most of my fic ideas, or at least most of the fic ideas I really care about in any way, are so far removed from the canon they might as well be original fiction with some familiar names thrown in. The one exception is the Ark AU, but everything else is some form of extreme AU, modern or otherwise. I don't even know that the characters make me feel much of anything anymore. I've been toying with how to explain this for a while but... I feel like both for me personally and the fandom as I perceive it, the characters are more like a shared vocabulary, rather than actual characters from a source material we all love. I think this is partially because the fandom is old enough now to have some very long standing shared headcanons, and either small enough or bifurcated enough for fanwork creators to influence each other more than the canon influences them, and partly because the show ending on a sour note for most viewers has left the people who remain in the fandom with a sense that these characters are OURS and that the value of them is in how we collectively decide to use them now, rather than in how they are tied to the universally derided source material.

I'm not saying any of this is BAD, I'm just saying, that's how it is now, from my perspective.

I'm sort of engaging with the fan community (2) through T100, but... it's a little weird. I have people I legitimately like and enjoy talking to on tumblr who I know through T100 and of course there are events like Troped that I really love. I have a ton of cool fic bookmarked too and I'm getting back into reading it. But my dash has a lot less T100 content than it used to and sometimes I'll find myself j-ing very fast through it because I'm just not in the mood. I know a lot of people are either semi-disengaging, like I am, or wholesale moving on to other things. So it's like... the community straggles on, but it's uncertain at best.

And as far as engaging creatively (3)--to the extent that I write or plan fic it's almost all T100. But I haven't... I haven't been finding it easy to write. In general. This is a little hard to explain but.. when I think "I need to leave T100 fandom and really force myself to go somewhere else" it's usually because I feel like I'm not really getting what I need creatively out of the fandom. I like a lot of my wips and unstarted ideas, in theory at least, but the closer I look at some of them the more... herculean the task of actually writing them starts to seem. And tbh I rarely just... tell myself little stories about these characters or within these potential-fic scenarios. Like in all my idle, free thought time--when I'm washing dishes or taking a walk or a shower or going to sleep, when I want to think about something nice and fictional and not let the worries in... when I'm really engaged with a fandom, I'll imagine little scenes and tell myself little stories during these times. Sometimes they're scenes I want to eventually make into or include in a fic. Other times they're not. But they're still an extension of my creative life.

And I haven't really done that for T100 in a while. Sometimes I imagine Star Trek scenarios. Sometimes I retreat into highly silly comfort scenarios with original characters. But I only think about T100 when I specifically need to brainstorm for a fic. And that makes the fic feel more like work. And that makes me want to do it less.

So... I'm not sure what that will mean for me getting back into my projects when I finally (FINALLY) finish the last of my obligations. Maybe when I feel like I can actually make progress on old wips or ideas I care about, I'll get more invested in them. I was pretty damn invested in Mountain Lion Mean and that wasn't that long ago, so it is still possible. But overall, T100 definitely doesn't have, and probably never will have again, a total monopoly on my brain the way it did c.2016.

Which is fine. Like... it's more than fine. I've been here a while. What I'm trying to articulate to myself with all this is that the dissatisfaction I feel with my fandom life is probably stemming from the lack of one, coherent obsession. I have stuff to read, stuff to write, stuff to think about, stuff to talk about, and even a small fandom community of people I like--so what's the problem, right?? It's because it's not all coming from the same piece of media and that's not as clear and coherent and nice for me.

Plus, it makes writing more difficult when I do want to write these particular ideas, but I'm only motivated by own desire to see the ideas realized, not my genuine love for the characters and the material from which they derive. There's a certain energy that fannish activity has... but T100 fic barely feels like a fannish activity to me rn. Just another type of work. It's a work I'm invested in...but I just so often don't have it in me to WORK at all, is the thing.

So that's the biggest annoyance about it. I haven't really experienced this before so even though this situation has been forming for a while, I still don't really know what to do with it.

[starrlikesbooks]

This was super hard, but here are the 20 books I’m looking forward to this most this year!

Check under the cut for more about each one ✌

1. Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire is the latest book in the Wayward Children series- a series of novellas about kids finding doorways to other lands and then being forced back to our world- and it specifically picks up on the thread of the first one and focuses on the characters and context of the second book, which is my favorite so far. I’m so excited to go back to Jack and Jill!

2. The Hand on the Wall by Maureen Johnson is the final book in the Truly, Devious trilogy, a mystery series spanning time periods AND mysteries. Both of the others were compelling, twisting, and left me full of questions and wanting more, so I am both sad to see the series end and about to explode waiting for it to finally be in my hands.

3. Euphoria Kids by Alison Evans is a magical story of identity and queer kid friendship, and I know its going to make me want to cry. It’s been compared to Ghibli, there are witches, it seems very tender and gentle, and I’m already in love with it.

4. The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller is a super morally gray (and worse) story of murder, ambition, and romance. The author pitches this as “a Slytherin romance”, which I take to mean that this is going to be full of powerful characters, tension, and grit.

5. When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey is a “dark, witchy” comedy about a group of best friends dealing with the consequences of their magic causing the death of a boy on prom night. Magic for Liars was so good, I can’t wait for a magical YA by Gailey.

6. Chosen Ones is Veronica Roth’s first adult novel. I loved Divergent when I was younger, but what makes me really excited was how much I loved the Carve the Mark duology. This book looks like it’ll be just as good as those- maybe better. And it’s a prophecy story 😍

7. The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopolus is pitched as The Raven Cycle meets Simson vs the Homosapien Agenda, which I assume means that it’s TRC except even gayer. Oh, and there’s dark magic involved.

8. The Dark Tide by Alicia Jasinska (ignore the typo in graphic please) is a retelling of a Scottish fairy tale ballad, which involves a girl rescuer falling in love with an evil queen. Literally, I can die now.

9. A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow takes place in a world where sirens exist, but are oppressed. It centers on a black girl in Oregon who’s secretly a siren, watching the world change and true colors come out as a celebrity reveals herself as a siren.

10. Ghost Wood Song by Erica Waters is folky magic centered around a girl and her dead father’s fiddle which can call to ghosts. There’s murder, sapphic characters, and bluegrass. Sign me up!

11. Star Daughter by Shveta Thakrar is an epic fantasy story that’s pitched as Stardust mixed with Hindu mythology. I literally cannot think of anything better than that. Oh, and there’s magic court politics *swoon*

12. As the Shadow Rises by Katy Rose Pool is the next book in the Age of Darkness series. Remember me freaking out will I live-blogged reading There Will Come a Darkness? This is the sequel! And it’s gonna be gayer. (I’m silently weeping thinking of getting to read more about my boy)

13. The Other Side of the Sky by Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner is the first in a duology. Not much is known about this one except it’s SFF, the world is Ghibli inspired, there’s a goddess, and there’s a prophecy. I’ll be honest, I’m on the fence about this one, solely because one of my most hated books is by this writing duo. But I’m allowing myself to hope! Because each of those things sounds really promising.

14. Meteor by Tehlor Kay Mejia & Anna-Marie McLemore is about two best friends (one made of stardust) who enter a pageant and talent show to try to save the other’s family diner and change their destinies. It’s magical realism, and it’s apparently queer!

15. Beyond the Ruby Veil by Mara Fitzgerald is a fantasy quest/coming of age that sounds so good. From the official blurb: “About a queer, self-absorbed socialite, who accidentally kills the one person in her city who can create water–water that’s sourced from the blood of its citizens using a powerful magic–and who must now journey to discover the origins of magic, and take it for herself, before everyone in her city dies of thirst.”

16. We Were Restless Things by Cole Nagamatsu, first of all, has an amazing name, and second of all is made for “fans of Maggie Stiefvater and Neil Gaiman”, so it’s made for me. The plot is about a boy drowning to death in a forest, miles way from any body of water, and his friends, attempting to unravel the mystery of it, stumbling upon the sentience of the forest. I will literally sell all my clothes for this book.

17. Over the Woodward Wall by A. Deborah Baker is actually by Seanan McGuire, and is the story interwoven through Middlegame via fake excerpts. Middlegame was my favorite book of 2019, and I absolutely love the trend of writing the fake books referenced in other books, so I am ABOUT this.

18. Jade Fire Gold by June C. L. Tan is an epic fantasy inspired by Chinese folklore. It’s about a girl trying to save her grandmother from a cult forming a tense alliance with exiled prince. It’s full of family and revenge- oh, and that girl can steal souls. It’s set to be published in the fall.

19. Legendborn by Tracy Deonn is a modern King Arthur retelling mixed with Southern Black Girl Magic. I literally need no other reason to be hyped af about this book. It’s set for a summer release.

20. Smash It! by Francina Simone not only sounds great, but it’s super satisfying to know it’ll exist soon, because I made a joke months ago asking if there were any high school Othello retellings. Here it is, world! I’ll be real, I’m not 100% on the specific plot, but there’s a high school musical, it’s tagged LGBT on goodreads, and, again, it’s a ya high school retelling of Othello. The release is set for the fall.

[moodysnowflake]

First of all, gigantic

SPOILER ALERT

'Cause everybody shoud say it before starting.

Sure, it's not really a spoiler by definition, 'cause it's been 23 years, but still.

It's almost like with Harry Potter. Who read the books knows, and if you just started, it would be a really mean and dickish move to say anything.

Just because you've played FFVII, it doesn't give you the permission to rob the experience from new players, if they try not to get spoiled. Even if the game has been out there for two decades.

It would be like if, knowing the actual plot by Nomura-san himself, I will leak it you, old player.

You wouldn't like that very much now, would you?

Also, please let's keep it human and reasonable, this is just a stream of consciousness and my personal thoughts, I'm not going to insult anyone, nor players, nor Square Enix, so I would appreciate the same respect. Thank you.

I've already written stuff so far in order not to reveal, and if you, knew player, are insisting on continuing...well, what can I say? You've got a big storm coming; you just decided you didin't care, I'm not going to be responsible for ruining your experience. I warned you, you've spoiled yourself, and I'm sorry for that.

That being said.

This is exactly what it looks like, a huge steam blow, to get all my convoluted trains of thoughts out of my head, and see if someone else is perceiving the same things as me or, if not, is able to discuss it in a civil and constructive manner.

What I think about FFVII:R story and ending.

To start, I will be referring to the gameplay's events as timeline 2, and the original as timeline 1. You'll get why.

I think that, despite the dubious ending, we've all been already played, and what we think being the first destiny's divergence, a.k.a. Zack's survival, is actually a flashback of timeline 2. So yes, something that already happened in the actual game and influenced the story so far.

Why is that?

Let's start from the beginning. Or the end, depends on how you look at it.

Aerith.

'Not Sephiroth?' you might ask.

Nope. Not Sephiroth. Aerith indeed.

In timeline 1, she died, and become one with the Life Stream. We know it. That's okay, I'm not trying to argue with that.

I'm considering it for its very meaning. Aerith became one with the planet, so one with destiny itself.

Let's try to look at this perspective: if you were given the power to change destiny, anywhere you want, for everyone you know...Would you really not give it a try? If you were ever given the chance to save the person you love, and everybody who died because of your fuck ups, would you not even consider to change things? Not even once?

Aerith has always been energetic, sometimes naive, so full of life and hope, especially HOPE, despite everything, even being afraid of freedom and the unknown, but giving it a go anyway. So why couldn't she have tried? I can see that happening.

It wasn't Sephiroth who destroyed the Whispers of Midgar in that shiny, golden, big-ass explosiong which knowcked Zack off of his feet. It was her.

Zack was not supposed to reach Midgar, and Aerith interfered, saving him...for what time we're allowed to see until the end of the game.

Being the Whispers a sort of "defence line", I don't think that she got rid of them for good, because they're part of the very backup system of Gaia, so I'm more inclined to think that she just managed to temporarly shut them down.

Hoping to give Zack more time...but, in my opinion, not that much.

Let's be real; Zack's death has been one of the most tragic and emotional ones of the compilation, because Zack Fair is as near as you can go to the definition of Best Boy and everybody should love him. Yes, he was not immune to the SOLDIER's madness, because he was obsessed to become a hero, to be able to save someone.

But we have to thank him if Aerith decided to sell the flowers; if it wasn't for him, Aerith and Cloud would never have met (in every timeline).

He was the reason of the Seventh Heaven's name. He's the reason of that goddamned squatting minigame (yeah...you didn't think about that, did you?).

And naturally, he's the reason why our adorkable Cloud Strife not only is still alive, but also the source of his combat abilities.

Sure, Spike was trained and filled up to the brim with mako, but where do you think he was pulling all of his batshit crazy stunts from, if not Zack's memories?

e.g.: the very first landing in Crisis Core is e x a c t l y the same movement, the only difference being Zack touching the ground putting the weight on his right side while Cloud did it on his left. The only reason I can think about is because Zack wasn't holding the Buster, and that is how you would handle your balance if you were rigth-handed.

First digression done...it's gonna be painful...

Nobody is forcing you: don't like, don't read.

Feel free to stop whenever you like, I'm not gonna get offended.

So, Aerith tried, because she is the ultimate cinnamol roll and she wants to believe. She's fantastic and hopeful, and she firmly believe in trying to change destiny, saving as many people as she can. Why wouldn't she?

So she tried (why not from his mother's death? She could have tried, but Ifalna migth have said she didn't want to be saved. Who knows. I definitely don’t.), but it simply didn't work, because Zack had to die anyway, the Whispers de-bugged themselves and everything spectacularly backfired.

The question is how he's gonna die. If Crisic Core’s death was the worst, how could it go more bananas? I have some alternatives:

- Cloud (by Sephiroth intervention) killing Zack with his own hands without realizing it until the very end, Zack accepting it and trying to comfort him while drifting away [the less likely one for me];

- Zack dies again (maybe in the sewers?) because of Cloud's fault, either giving him the Buster to defend himself (remaining disarmed) or because he physically shields Cloud from a bullet shower or an explosion (something has to get rid of Shinra's troops to let Spike escape);

All of these theories imply that Zack still dies like a hero and knowing it.

- Let's go Cruelty: Full Cowling. Let's shatter even that one joy, the most important thing Zack managed to accomplish in his mad chase, reaching for his dream: die a hero. He could have managed to hide Cloud, giving him the Buster, running in the opposite direction and getting captured instead of insta-killed. Returning in Hojo's nightmare, this time dying a slow, agonizing, dark death. What if the bastard, in Zack’s very lasts moments, will deceive him, telling him they found Cloud, even if they haven't, just to mess up with him? That would be devastating: Zack would die feeling completely useless, absolutely worthless, even if he's not. He's still a hero, but he will never know.

This is where Sephiroth might come along.

Specifically, Advent Children's Sephiroth.

Who, at some point, gave/activated/infused/whateverisgonnabe timeline 1 Cloud's memories into him. Because Cloud has friggin’ Jenova's cells within him, so Sephiroth can do what the heck he wants and toy with the guy as long as he sees fit. As he has done throughout the game.

When could we see it?

- "I've killed you with my own [hands]...": Sephiroth is doing a vibe-check, to see how much Cloud remembers, and simply goes masterfully along with it, starting to fuck with him right then; he needs for Cloud to be as mentally unstable as possible, because of Black Materia reasons. He is one of the best manipulators in the game, after all. If not the best one.

- "But that is then, and this is now." Criptic af, could be interpreted as both Cloud canonically remembering in a modified timeline 1, or timeline 2 innest. Being Sephiroth, the jackass could be referring to both of them, just becasue he can.

- "Promise you'll come and save me" scene. Timeline 1 Cloud shouldn't remember it at that point in the game. Also, this wouldn't lead to the heart to hearth with Tifa right after. If it's not a modified timeline 1, to show that spiky boi is not a total socially awkward blond artichoke.

- Aerith's death and Holy's flashes. What could possibly confuse you more than that, together with a blasting migraine? I think this is Sephiroth not-verbal way to say "You're not gonna be able to save her. Ever. You didn't succeded then, you're not gonna make it now, not even if she knows it. It's gonna happend anyway."

- At the Edge of Creation, when he asks for Cloud's help, Cloud has a blink-moment in which his right hand seems to move towards him, an uncoordinated gesture, but still there (memory of timeline 1...when he sort of did it)

*What about Zack's name being said in Emerald Park and nothign really happening to Cloud? Well, if you have been innested another timeline's memories, things would be pretty screwed up in your head, wouldn't they? That could be why Cloud had just a crippling aneurisma hearing it: his brain was probably trying not to melt in a puddle. Also, Aerith could have been interfering with it (but I'm explaining that later), blocking his possible messed up recollection, because that would have been quite the situatuion both for Spike's sanity and the players'.

Advent Childrend's (AC) Sephiroth? Why not another one? Come on, we've got plenty of evidence of it during the gameplay (I'll be referring to both English and Japanese [coming from the Italian adaptation, which is the closest one {yep, I’m Italian, but I think the English adaptation is still the best in terms of localization and conversations’ management}]):

- The very first thing he says to Cloud, when he blabbers "You're not real...You're...dead.", is the trolling (and perfect) "I am?"...I mean...has he ever really been? Cloud's words implies (because this is Japanese) that you might also read it as "This is just my PTSD fucking with me, you're a memory".

- Aaaand which line hits you like a truck? "I will never be...a memory." (last line of Sephiroth in AC before smiling and disappearing)

- Last Sephiroth's line of the cutscene, which in English is a very uncospicuous (but very menacing, almost Itachi-like) "Hold on to that hatred.", in Japanese is "Never forget me." That's pretty different.

- Aaaand which line hits you like a wrecking ball again? Never forget me..."I will never be...a memory."

- While you, old player, are still wondering what the fuck just happened, 'The Promised Land' (AC soundtrack) starts playing...

If all of this wasn't enough to let your plot bunny run like it was on a carrot high, let's talk about the scene in Hojo lab's corridor, when Cloud, seeing Sephiroth materializing, yells in pain and grips fiercely at his left arm. Which happens to be the very same arm that is gonna get Geostigma (Sephiroth's lovely life-threatening plague-ish gift to humanity in AC). 

And the three glowy whispers in chapter 18? Have you noticed that they move like Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo, and have the same weapons (one-handed sword, a gauntlet and two guns, respectively)? With a lot less whining, fortunately. Colors' scheme seems to make sense as well: Kadaj should be Sephiroth's hatred and rage (red), Loz his strenght and speed (yellow) and Yazoo the coldness and detachment (blue/green).

I’m leaving the last variable at the end, ‘cause this way I don’t seem a complete paranoid, even if it has been there all the way: the black feathers. The flippin’ black feathers. Which Sephiroth has ONLY at the end of FFVII: Advent Children. Then, and just then. Not everywhere else. Nowhere. 

 They’re there from chapter 1, joyfully swaying in the wind, Cloud sees one and it doesn’t seems to have that much of a significance, like for new players (meanwhile old players are screaming for their life, looking for cover), and they keep coming up, up, up, up, all over the place. And at the very end, the player sees that gorgeous black wing and they think “Oh! Holy crap, he has been there the whole time.”...and the old players yells “Fuck! He’s AC Sephiroth? We’re screwed. We’re done. This was his plan from the very beginning. Crap, crap, crap.”

This is the game tellying us “Shall I give you dispair?”

All the other interactions could easly come from timeline 1 events, up to the end of the game, and that's okay, because they make you realise that Sephiroth knows shit he's not supposed to have knowledge of at this point. He’s in total control, he has been through the entirety of the game, the sexy bastard.

So yeah, after making his last elegant and terrifying threat to AC's Cloud, our favourite one-winged angel decide to go back to the first checkpoint and retry in Critical Mode.

Fancy meeting timeline 1 Aerith there, in timeline 2, already fucking shit up in his stead. I can see him in my mind's eye, witnessing her intervention and thinking "This is actually really nice!". Since destiny has to be restored, he would have destiny itself playing by his side; he seriously couldn't ask for more.

Do I think part of Aerith is coming back from future too? Yes, she behaves like she knows too much stuff:

- "It's good for nothing at all" when you met her after projectile-crashing from the upper plate; if Zack dies like I hypothsized, this line would get all the more meaning, having her failed to save him;

- When Cloud is on his merry way of vivisecting Reno precisely in half, in English she yells "Stop!", but in Japanese she actually says "No, it's wrong!". How could she possibly know that Cloud shouldn't kill the Turk?;

[short digression over Cloud murderous behaviour towards people (a.k.a. Johnny and Reno) compared to the original game: why not, since he’s been bombarded by splitting headaches, seeing the man (who was his hero and destroyed his life) he killed with his hands very much real (to him but not to anybody else) and messying around, driving him cracker day by day. Anyone will lose their cookies.]

- On the highway, she and Sephiroth have an educated banter, in which she clearly knows something's up with the Sephiroth who's standing in front of them. He's the wrong one. But, at the same time, he's the true one too; He's not a projection channeled by Cloud Jenova's cells, nor using a copy to be seen by the others. So he's not using someone else from timeline 2,  he's not part of timeline 2, that's why he's wrong. Not just because he wants to, you know, eradicate life from the planet. Despite him being his true self, the last one existing, he's from timeline 1, so he doesn’t really belong in timeline 2. That's the biggest hint we have about Aerith coming from whatever happens after, together with the next point;

- When asked how the heck she knows about destiny’s crossroads, she answer with a nice "I'm not really sure.". She's not really sure...anymore, due to the Whispers trying to reset her consciousness and memories back to square timeline 1. She says she loses something everytime they touch her.

I imagine the scene of Aerith feeling Zack's death, again, while she's at home, at night, among the flowers, feeling useless, realizing she couldn't do anything in the end: that is gonna be nerve-wracking.

Sephiroth would appear, maybe using Marco's body (or maybe even his own body), emerging from the darkness of the alley. They would look at each other while he slowly walks down the wood stairs and glides over the surface of the pond, speaking while never breaking eye contact, both knowing where and when they really are from. He would probably say, in his soft velvet voice, something along the line of "I told you it was not meant to work. You're playing with powers you're not able to control, and you're destined to fail. I'm going to ruin him (Cloud) and everything else you cherish. You will experience what true despair means (because why not, let's throw another AC reference, shall we?)." A very Sephiroth way to say "You did such a good job. Here, let me help you screw this up more, Aerith."

He would lift from the pond, silent and tall and silver and monstrous, smiling with his jade eyes pinning hers down, stretching his black wing out, towering over her, before folding it around himself and disappear (like in AC), leaving only Marco behind to collapse over the bed of flowers.

That would be a heck of a war declaration.

Last, and least, the final confrontation at the Edge of Creation, a.k.a. Sephiroth ultimately fucking with our sanity.

Paraphrasing his first senteces, ”I’m not gonna die and I won’t let you die as well”, should be the very final hint which shows he’s AC Sephiroth, as he used Cloud’s memories of him to create a core indipendent from the Life Stream (this is how he managed to bounce back); he needs Cloud to remain alive in order to exist himself. That’s why he feels (to the very confused new players, and the grumpy old ones who think Remake Sephiroth is not coming from the future) so obsessed with Cloud now; he wasn’t in timeline 1 until the last part. This would make sense for now to be timeline 2, because he understood how important it is to keep Spike alive and as insane as possible.

Cloud tries to open Sephiroth up like a can using Omnislash, the original killing blow, and Sephiroth parry and deflects it. Smirking, probably thinking “Nope, I’ve already seen this happening before, not gonna fool me twice.”

The bloody "7 seconds till the end. Time enough for you...perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see"

Which in Japanese is - 7 seconds remaining until the end. But you're still in time. The future is in your hands...Cloud -

The flippin’ end. Which one, Aerith or Meteor? I personally think it’s Meteor.

The future is in his hands because he was the one shutting down the Whispers with the final blow? Are they really gone this time? I don't think so. The future might be in Cloud's hands, but Sephiroth is gonna make sure to have his strings tightly wrapped around them.

The fact that he appears way more in the remake makes sense because of what he’s doing (at least what I and other people think he’s doing), and it doesn’t make him less dreadful. Not one bit. Cloud’s reaction seeing him for the first time should set the mood for the new players (I don’t know who this big-ass silver tree is, his voice is so soft it’s disturbing, his eyes are making me really uncomfortable and apparently he should be dead, but still scare the main badass character shitless, so I should watch out for him as well) as much as the old ones (Holy fuck, what the heck are you doing here, Seph?! How? It’s impossible [you do realize you and Cloud had the same emotional response, yes?{Chadley pun perfectly intended}]).

Anxiety is not resolving during the game; he’s still intimidating and scary as fuck whenever he comes out of fricking nowhere, creeping all over you.

I think the only one who knows what's up is him, and he's not gonna give anything away anytime soon. He's just gonna smile, drop an emotional bomb whenever he can and flutter away, leaving behind utter confusion and sheer panic.

Is Aerith gonna die? I really hope so. Don't get me wrong: I love her to the very bottom of my heart, but FFVII is not only a story about love, courage and fight against destiny, it's also about loss, suffering and death. As much as I would really like for her to survive, she shouldn't.

Like Sephiroth, she's a singuarity too, and at some point, she will have to met her fate, regardless of what’s happening.

Did they really have to show Zack? Everybody was secretly hoping to see him, nobody could make me think otherwise. And again, this is another surprise effect, recreating that same impact that old players got: “who’s this guy that looks like Cloud and has his sword (and he’s probably the guy Aerith is talking about)?”, while we are freaking out looking at him dragging spiky boi, limping towards Midgar, criminally handsome and very much alive.

New players don’t really need to know more, because that’s exactly what we knew back then.

As for Sephiroth’s presence in the game. In the original, he appears way later. Here, it’s conceptually the same; he’s there because of Cloud (mind, body/cells, memories) and the copies. He’s the real, complete one only at the very end, that’s why One Winged Angel is playing only then, and it’s just a faint presence here and there, merged in previous tracks (interestingly, it’s also the very first musical phrase we hear in the gameplay, and I think that’s because Aerith sensed him coming from somewhere. It wasn’t because of the whispers, I think it was because of him).

Same for Sephiroth’s backstory, which is none existent, for new players: that’s okay. you see him, you get that he’s unhinged and awfully strong. He’s a cold, collected bitch and he’s clearly plotting something.

That’s okay, it’s enough for now, they’re gonna get the rest in the next rounds. And boy, do I dread that day, ‘cause that’s gonna hurt.

Am I forgetting about Stamp? Of course I am. Not.

Barret stated in chapter 5 that Shinra changed the breed for the military propaganda, and that’s okay. We saw his graffiti, and he’s a beagle. In Zack’s scene, an empty chips bags flies around, clearly showcasing a different Stamp, a terrier of some sort. With a big-ass “Original“ claim in the top left corner. This might mislead you to believe that you’re looking at a different timeline. 

Well...too bad the very same bag is laying on the table of Jessie’s parents...

The hint has always been there: Original. Barret said they changed the breed form the original one...so, yeah, this might prove Zack’s scene is a flashback.

Is Wedge alive? Probably yes.

Is Jessie alive? Probably yes.

Why Bigg's still alive? I don't know.

But I know that you don't build characters up that way to let them live a long life and die peacefully. Someone in this story is really good at giving hopes and then crushing them in the blink of an eye...

The Remake, as it has been said, is incorporating The Compilation, and it’s evident througout the gameplay, from Before Crisis all the way to Dirge of Cerberus and the novels (Leslie and Kyrie come from those. Still waiting on Evan).

I don’t think it has been made to rewrite nor modify FFVII, but to create a definitive end which organically weaves within it.

The story is still alive, kicking, and is the very foundation of the remake. You still have to play the compilation to have the ultimate understanding, because that is the destiny trying to be defied by Aerith and Sephiroth.  

 You can’t try to change fate, if you don’t have one to mess up with in the first place.

Lastly, if Zack will ever be playable at some point, I hope with all of my heart and soul to find myself beating the ever loving crap out of someone with a white and blue parasol.

*End Of Rant*

I'm forgetting something for sure, but well, this is the majority of the stuff that I needed to get out of my system.

If you managed to reach this point, thank you for dealing with me and my madness.

If you want to share your thougths you're very welcome to do so, as long as you can articulate your opinions in a civil discussion.

Have a good day/night.

Finger crossed for 2023.

[plounce]

do you have any molly or widomauk fic recs? You have good characterization taste & I miss him and need to recover from seeing caleb/nott/molly as a relationship tag

well after that gutpunch of a closing line, here are my offerings:

… under a cut because there are a LOT. rifled through my bookmarks and subscriptions for this. hope you like these! my ultimate personal faves are bolded. newer additions are starred.

massive widomauk indulgence (oneshots & completed fics)

take your kid gloves off - oh this is SUCH a fave!! teacher au. really good mature emotions… still has the pining that makes fic great but it doesn’t feel soap opera-y as some do. read this please.

my only sunshine - soulmate au! i can be very picky about soulmate aus but this one really agreed with me. follows canon where it can. this was great!! very tender and sweet and hurts at the right parts and is so good at the right parts

twisters chasing storms - written in the week between ep 25 and ep 26. beau centric with side wm. the remaining members of the m9 have to deal with doing what they must to get them back. kind of dark but just like. oof. i reread this a bunch. really good character work in this. (violence warning)

Caleb, huddled on the cart over Molly’s books, says what Beau has been thinking all along: “Jester and Fjord and Yasha were not terrible. This—” and he gestures around at all of them, “—is a terrible combination.”

“That’s slander,” says Molly. “I’m a good person. And—you know, you’re—you’re not all great, sure, but you do good things. I like you.”

The rest of them look at him.

“Okay, that was weak,” he admits.

any clever ideas? - molly and caleb make out in the evening nip in order to dissuade cree from talking with molly. it is SO GOOD and just. rules. it hits those trope buttons perfectly. i LOVE this one 

strictly ballroom - UNDERCOVER AT A FANCY DRESS BALL… DANCING… PINING… JEALOUSY… this is SUCH an indulgent fave and i just enjoy it so much. this is a FUN read. THIS is what i enjoy fic for

discover us safely destroyed - an interesting character study from the zadash arc

our early days - pre relationship. figuring each other out and being tender and protective. taking care of each other. (violence warning)

the crossroads - caleb falls in battle and has a conversation in limbo (without knowing he’s in limbo). very bittersweet and so like… OOF

hopscotch - a lot of the m9 body swap. good character stuff. the differences in molly and caleb’s brains in terms of memory capabilities is… ouch! ouch!! it’s really good. “you’re my friends. i trust you.”

let’s dance - this one is an older one one, and cute! dancing!

comfort walks softly on little cat feet - h/c. an older one, and very sweet.

strange light - a good coda to the cali ep, which was hard to find. measured characterizations with some molly details i adore - his love of theatrics, and keeping copies of lucien’s wanted posters that he’s torn down and using them for kindling.

a street cat named frumpkin - a cute little modern au with side wm! hooray for kitties.

familiar comfort - frumpkin pov. implied wm. really super excellent. i LOVE frumpkin pov stuff

until you set your old heart free - modern with magic… established relationship… molly gets rezzed and returns home… ohhhhhhhh. oh my heart 

take me back into your arms - molly gets rezzed! tam lin setup! hell yeah! power of love babey!!

kiss me once, kiss me twice - a series for kiss prompts!! so sweet. this one has some really heartwarming modern au installments that i just adore

something new for me and you - this one recently wrapped up! a good multichapter, probably the peak modern urban au in the tag. very detailed and has some very good themes about like… feeling love and feeling deserving of relationships and having to grapple with being bond to the people you’re close to. ALSO has background claysol which you KNOW i’m a BIG SUCKER for. very charming!

*indelible - modern au! tattoo parlor stuff, which can be very hit or miss for me, but this was such a sweet, lovely au with a lot of like. recovery stuff in it? for both of them. very nice.

*meet me in the woods - OOF this has such such delicious piiiining… yearning! molly Noticing caleb’s hands and the two of them slowly growing closer. it was such a sweet read and i enjoyed the whole thing like a soft blanket.

*boats and birds - i love this! such a great snapshot of molly (swinging from the ropes on the ball eater, and being a bit reckless & unlucky in his circus tricks - that’s my bitch!), and such a lovely, telling interaction between him and caleb. i loved that “did you just tell a joke? well, it was a good one” bit, and i love fics that revisit it with a bit more future tenderness. this is the line that won me completely over to this fic:

Because Molly is an idiot and likes to pretend that he has a chance of breaking through the ten layers of trauma Caleb wears like a second skin to find the person underneath and convince him he’s worth something, he takes a minute to appreciate the view.

*matryoshka - immediate fixit after molly’s death, which rules. molly’s ghost gets to carpool in caleb’s body before they rez him. i think this scenario was written enjoyably but with appropriate weight as well, which could be very hard to find. pre-relationship, which i always enjoy - i love me some people meandering towards feelings. it also has some very interesting lucien theory tidbits sprinkled in, which i enjoy.

*cat magnet - molly gets turned into a cat for a hot minute and cuddles up to caleb. short and fun and not weird (thank goodness).

*devil’s tongue - i’m always a bit bashful/hesitant about reccing explicit stuff, but this one has such excellent and caring characterization that i feel correct in putting it on this list. the best explicit ship fics always have an element of knowing that the characters aren’t losing their personalities once they get in bed, and this one has both characters as like. people. the d/s stuff does not overwhelm the characters or the fic and is very light - you see that these are real people in an equal relationship trying to help each other feel good (and i’m a judgmental bastard about fic, so you can take my word on this). AND it has some linguistic stuff about infernal as the actual plot, which i can be a sucker for.

*a thin line - molly gets injured, caleb sews him up, they dance around a conversation before actually Talking About Stuff and becoming closer. excellently written h/c. this is an early wdmk fic, but actually writes the characters pretty well in hindsight! op rules. it’s interesting to see what the author manages to get right, and the backstory elements they made up are still engaging and consistent for the molly & caleb they have written.

*heartfrost - molly lives au, taking place around ep 72. molly is resistant to fire, so he’s vulnerable to cold. he has a bad time with that, and with grieving for yasha as well. caleb takes care of him. this was just sweet h/c whump, and reading molly getting his feelings validated by caleb was *kisses fingers* very good.

*limerence - caleb accidentally casts a spell that makes everyone who sees him fall in love with him - except the party lesbians and… molly, for some reason. isn’t it strange that a love spell doesn’t alter molly’s behavior towards caleb??? synopsis aside - i really enjoy how this fic took the fact that molly canonically wouldn’t pursue caleb because he sees caleb isn’t in a good place to have that; molly’s respect for consent with regards to relationships shines through here and agh i love him. also, i am beau in this fic.

**VWOOP! (every time a bell rings, a tiefling gets their wings) - a really interesting take on the soulmate au involving true name stuff (the author has some notes at the end about “true names” which made me :) about the concept in terms of identity and meaning, so dw about deadname snarls yk). wings! soulmates! friends with benefits that accidentally evolve into feelings!

**the fool, reversed - i’m a hack who loves to see molly slotted into present canon just for fun. this one has him being abducted with yasha by obann, and in dealing with the trauma afterward accidentally discovering his incorporeality bloodhunter powers. good stuff.

**the skin beneath the facade - this one is so self indulgent and i love it. fake dating at a fancy party! kissing! POISON! A CAT! fun fun fun read.

WIPs that i am subscribed to and really enjoy, and are good reads already: 

the prophet of tortham - LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE… god i just love it. molly scrambling to be the best scammer he can and rolling miracuously well, while trying to solve a mystery! very perceptive caleb and perfectly slow burn widomauk. it’s an au where molly pretends to be an actual fortuneteller to a lord that the rest of the m9 work for. i’ve been adoring this one so far, such a great molly.

there’s a ghost in my lungs - vague future canon! the m9 finds molly again, but the empire put a bunch of stuff in his head and the gang seeks to cure him, all while getting tangled up in a town plot and festivals. very good widomauk pining. side note: the “winter soldier au” tag has nothing to do with marvel at all besides the basic premise of what’s up with molly, but for the vast majority of the fic he is himself (changed somewhat after what he’s gone through, but his wonderful self). i’ve been keeping up with this one for a long time and i’ve been loving it.

Caleb blinks, as if coming out of a Frumpkin trance. Beau knows better, though, she’s seen him staring at Molly like Molly’s a lighthouse in the dark, and he’s a man paddling desperately back to shore.

we circle by night - a far-flung-future caleb travels back in time and accidentally averts molly’s death! and there’s a splintered timeline. slow burn widomauk starts kindling but caleb’s dealing with uh… pretending he’s not an older and higher-level wizard inside a canon age caleb body. VERY good. love it.

fractured moonlight on the sea - molly is a selkie and doesn’t know it!! i looooooove this so far and can’t wait for more, this is such good like… pining for stuff you don’t know, romantically and sealwise.

map to alexandria - modern music au! very good writing of like. human emotions. very good relationship themes. this is my good buddy mauve @phantomsteed‘s fave fic!

the gay and wondrous life of caleb widogast - this is a modern with magic childhood friends road trip au! it is also fjollygast, and i really enjoyed it. extremely good and well-written pining and relationship drama, that luckily has been resolved. from what i’ve detectived, it seems like it’s been put on permanent hiatus after canon has diverged a lot from what the author was working from. but it stopped at a very good point and is a fave. extremely delicious pining.

wilderswans’ 30 day nsfw challenge - this is such a great series with a lot of character work and like… stuff about intimacy and it’s really good and tender! early relationship. really sweet and well-written!

**the names that make us - soulmate au! with twists and turns. starts out as bren/lucien and will become caleb/molly. looking forward to it.

molly focused:

true north - molly and yasha relationship stuff… i love them. platonic soulmates. a grand adventure!

visions in lightning, voices in thunder - yasha and molly again, but this time more of a snapshot. implied wm and by. yasha’s aasimarness interacts with ukatoa’s dreams in a nasty and cool way. this one has a line that alwaaaaaays gets me right in the gut

“I’d keep an eye on him, if I were you. There’s still some sharp edges to him.”

Molly chuckled. “I’m well acquainted with sharp edges.”

Yes, and you cut yourself on them all the time, Yasha thought to herself. If he cuts you, will you bleed for him?

also if you haven’t… you should read my high school au oneshot where beau and molly are siblings ;) if you want some numbers to back my self promotion it is the 9th highest kudos’d wm fic on ao3 atm… AND it’s a oneshot. blue gatorade rights

OH and as an edit: here’s my more serious in tone wdmk fic, canticle. it is very good and self indulgent. molly character study and repressed pining. ep 25/6 divergent au, as one does. inspired by twisters chasing storms, recced above.

[thebluelemontree]

Hi, this is lyastark (i changed blogs), you responded to my ask here: /post/175700394682/. i wanted to say that i loved your meta! i was thinking more of their relationship in the purpose of the story. for me, no one knowing about this interaction has to serve some plot purpose. b/c of this, i think that sandor is going to be the one to tell her about LF shitty behavior towards her. her relationship with him is the ONLY one that LF doesn't know about. we know he doesn't b/c he NEVER mentions (1)

sandor to sansa. he was quick to dismiss tyrion, loras, wilas, margaery, etc but he said nothing about sandor. i also believe that sansa has gotten to the point where there’s no one “new” she has met that she would 100% trust with something this big. sandor is someone she explicitly trusts not to lie to her, and is someone she associates with safety and her old life. he’s her hidden dagger, if you will

Hey, glad you liked it.  

Yeah, I’m in agreement that Sandor will be crucial to Sansa reclaiming her identity in a few ways, and it will pay off that their relationship has flown under the radar for all this time.  While Jeyne Poole is also an alternate possibility or an addition to that, I think Jeyne is on course to meet with (perhaps travel with) Arya first.  It may take all of TWOW, maybe to the beginning to ADOS, for Arya and Sansa to reconnect.  One thing I’m reasonably sure of is that things will start happening pretty quickly in TWOW for wrapping up Sansa’s training arc.  With only two books left, it’s time to start moving all the remaining characters into the final act.  

I’m just going to put the rest under the cut.  This isn’t so much a coherent meta, but me just riffing because I have a lot of feelings about this topic XD

Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King’s Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she’d hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably, and no true friend but Petyr. – Sansa I, AFFC.  

“She would have fled them both…” if she had another option available to her.  If she had another friend nearby, but in her mind, she doesn’t.   

For Sansa’s training arc to end, her sense of isolation and dependence on Littlefinger have to be overpowered.  It is a psychological obstacle as much as it is a physical one.  Sansa has seen Littlefinger literally get away with murder and come out in a stronger position than he was before.  He seems to always be a step ahead of his enemies.  He has already bribed and extorted his way to power among the Vale lords.  He’s iced Yohn Royce out of political influence.  He’s planted seeds of doubt in Sansa toward Myranda Royce before she even met her.  (On a side note, Myranda does know Sansa’s real identity, but has never confronted her about it and nor has she used that information against her).  So LF’s locked down all the potential allies or troublemakers that he can see.  But we know there are things he can’t see, like the possibility of Sansa winning Lothor Brune’s loyalty from him.  Nor does he seem to be aware of Lyn Corbray’s seething resentment over being ousted as his brother’s heir thanks to Littlefinger’s marriage brokering.  Not to mention he’s hired a bunch of hedge knights for his household guard not suspecting for a moment that they are there to steal Sansa from him.  Littlefinger’s hubris has made him blind to things that are right in his own backyard.          

While I’m 95% sure Sandor will be at the center of Sansa reclaiming her identity, I definitely don’t think he will be her only trusted ally or source of support before it’s over.  That comes from Sansa herself in doing what she does best:  being kind and empathetic to win people over.  I see her cultivating her own little band of helpers to escape rather than (as some speculations suggest) Sansa simply name-dropping at the tourney and all the Vale lords instantly pledging their swords to her as their new regent/leader/whatever.  That makes for a dramatic turn of events but is also pretty unrealistic as I see it.  I think she will eventually be in a position to receive Yohn Royce’s military support, but I strongly disagree that it’s going to be as easy as name-dropping.  Littlefinger has too much backing of his leadership right now.  The Vale lords at the tourney are already on board that gravy train of gifts, gold, and glory.  He has custody of Robert Arryn.  No one really gives a shit about Lysa’s murder and everyone is looking toward the future with the more robust young falcon, Harrold Hardyng.  IMO, Sansa needs to get with Yohn Royce before the rest of the Vale falls in line.  He’s against the ropes right now (and being kept far from the tourney for a good reason I think), but he is the one that is most likely to wrest back political power from Littlefinger once Sansa is no longer his pawn.  Then she would have powerful backing of her own.  The trick is getting her to Yohn Royce and for that, she needs a persuasive reason and the confidence to flee from LF.                      

Where Sansa is in the story right now, I think she already possesses most of the individual puzzle pieces to what Littlefinger has done.  She just hasn’t been able to bring herself to put all those pieces together into one complete, horrifying picture.  There’s a lot of trauma and suppression of painful thoughts wrapped up in the things she’s seen and experienced.  Things part of being Sansa Stark that will shatter the tenuous safety she finds in being Alayne Stone.  She knows on one level that Littlefinger did something with Jeyne.  She’s buried that memory and thinks about Jeyne only in more innocent times.  She hasn’t dared to ask probably for fear of the answer and for fear of the repercussions from asking.  And there’s the fact that she’s trapped with her abuser, who has muddled help and safety with exploitation and pushing her moral boundaries.  She’s under a lot of pressure to marry HtH, which has been framed as her best and only chance to go home, even if it comes at Robert Arryn’s expense.  All she has to do is let go of her empathy and see people as objects she can use to further her interests, and then she can not only feel safe but powerful and untouchable as well.  No one will ever hurt her again.  Littlefinger’s philosophy is terrifying, but there are parts of it that are very seductive to someone who has been made to feel powerless, stupid, and vulnerable.  In a way, Sansa is being tempted with adopting a cynical worldview similar to what the Hound was for Sandor. Narratively speaking, what better person to bring her back from the edge of losing her humanity than by the person she inspired to reclaim his own?  Sandor and Sansa have been saving each other all throughout their story.  The first moment they met was defined by Sansa looking Ilyn Payne, the persona of death, in the face and falling backward into Sandor’s hands (ugh, my heart!).  Many times he just seems to appear out of nowhere to catch her.  So yeah, Sandor as a “hidden dagger” works really well not only for literally saving her life, but saving Sansa Stark’s identity and her core values.  But that also comes with unpacking a lot of unpleasant things.                   

The missing piece of the puzzle and the one thing that will be the final straw should be learning that her father’s arrest and execution was orchestrated by Littlefinger.  Sandor was a present for all that.  He’s the best person to tell her, and yes, she would believe him.  That forces Sansa to start looking at all puzzle pieces she has avoided putting together.  Turning against LF will not just be a triumphant moment, but it’s probably going to be ugly and painful.  Sansa has a lot of suppressed guilt and shame over what LF has made her complicit in.  While she was never a willing participant and shifting responsibility on to her was a key feature of LF’s abuse strategy, Sansa has played a role to some degree in the cover-ups of LF’s crimes.  Some people think the unkiss is a symptom of PTSD.  Nope.  This situation right here puts Sansa at risk for PTSD.  It will be shattering to know she ever called Petyr a friend, trusted him, and sometimes helped him while he did awful things.  There’s your dark night of the soul that a few people reasonably predict for each of our major POVs in TWOW, especially if an innocent like Robert Arryn dies (I’m 50/50 on that).  She’ll need someone who can relate (think of Sandor’s dying anguished confessions of his sins), someone who won’t judge, and someone that can help guide her back to being Sansa Stark because right now, that identity comes with a lot of traumatic baggage.  Just as being Sandor Clegane did.  (UGH, MY HEART!) 

I could go on about how similar both Petyr and Sandor’s backgrounds and origins are, how cynism plays into their world views, and the divergent paths they took.  They don’t have to speak of each other or share a scene together, but they have always been opposing philosophical forces with Sansa between them.  One embodying sweet lies and the other blunt honesty.  But I think the most telling passage about these three is in Eddard VII:

Sansa said, "I knew the Hound would win."

Littlefinger overheard. "If you know who's going to win the second match, speak up now before Lord Renly plucks me clean," he called to her. Ned smiled.

Littlefinger bet against Sandor and lost.  Daddy approved. 

[mischiefiswritten]

11/11 (Make a Wish) Tag

Thanks @capshorty for tagging me!! :D

To play: Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who tagged you, then ask 11 more for the people you tag.

1. How old were you when you realized writing was something you wanted to do? How old were you when you actually started doing it? 

I've always been involved in this love affair with words. My dad read to us our whole lives, and since then, stories have just been alive in me. And something I surround myself with. I wrote my first multi-chapter story in... either the third or fourth grade, but I was a writer from the start. I didn't even know writing was a Thing(TM), so it wasn't any given moment that I decided I wanted to do it.

2. What are your favorite fandoms? Do you read or write fanfiction for any of them?

Too. Many. To name. Honestly I've got fandoms out the wazoo. (Hmu and we'll geek out forever.) I've read fanfic for a TON of them too (lots of Mass Effect and Dragon Age of late and KOTOR forever) but I only recently started writing fanfic (unless you count one ancient X-Men: Origins oneshot that is still out there but I will not tell you where to find it). I've posted fics for Marvel, Dragon Age: Origins, and Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. Those you can find here and on my linked AO3 account.

3. What was your first story idea that you really felt was solid? 

Great question. I've been thinking about this for some time, but I can't quite remember what came first, especially since several of my ideas have evolved into several different versions. I think in jr. high I first came up with a pretty decent idea or two. One was a heist type novel that I might just come back to one day. (Fictional heists are my drug. I literally cannot get enough.)

4. What’s your best solution for getting over writer’s block?

I wish I had a really good one, but I think mostly I just rely on consuming other media. I step back, submerge myself in other people's storytelling in all forms and wait for my head to clear and new ideas to surface. (Or if I really need to write, I find a totally separate project, like fanfic.)

5. What book(s)/author(s) have you read that you think of influenced your writing most?

I read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings for the first time in the third grade. Since then, Tolkien has been (and will always be) the ultimate storyteller in my mind.

6. Which of your story was/is the easiest to write? Which was the hardest?

Honestly it's all hard. Plot is the bane of my existence, but random dramatic/emotional/fluffy scenes from all over the timeline (or not in the story at all) come pretty easily to me.

7. What are some of your favorite tropes to read/write?

Slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers. That is my trifecta. I love lots of tropes (among them, found family, chosen one [fight me], reluctant hero, and occasionally a good love triangle depending on story/media), but those are my ultimate weak spot.

8. If you could date ANY fictional character, who would it be?

There are so many good choices out there! (Assuming I would not die immediately due to the hazards attached to some of them.) There was a time not too long ago I would have said Four, of Divergent fame. I could happily accept a dinner invite from Aragorn (and a lot of other Tolkien men), too, and there's the classic answer: Mr. Darcy.

9. What are some of your favorite things to do outside of writing?

Play videogames, watch tv and movies, and have game nights to name a few! I'm also a hobby artist and like crafts/diy.

10. Where would be your ideal place to live?

Somewhere green and open that has four seasons and that's close to my family.

11. What’s the most underrated book you’ve ever read? Most overrated?

War Horse (both the book and movie) is criminally underrated. Why does no one ever talk about War Horse? I think I've probably read a lot of books over the year that I really enjoyed but no one else had seemed to read. Likewise I've read some books (mostly YA) that, for me, didn't live up to the hype. Paper Towns, for instance. I really did enjoy it, but I don't guess I get the insane hype around John Green.

I'll tag: @ren-c-leyn, @katekyo-bitch-reborn, @thewritertiffany, @zburatorii, @battlestargalaska, @writing-and-nutmeg, @literarycritique97, @thewrittenpost, @contes-de-rheio, @the-violet-writer, @writingwithellie. Anyone who wants to play is more than welcome!

Questions for you lovely folks!

1. Who has been the biggest supporter(s) of your writing? How have they supported you?

2. If you've written multiple pieces or worked on multiple projects, what are some common elements you find in several of them?

3. What are your go-to sources for writing advice/references/tips?

4. What are your favorite tropes to read and write?

5. If you were going to be known for a single great book, in what genre would you most want it to be in?

6. Fans of what currently published books (or other works of fiction) would most enjoy your WIP?

7. Honesty hour: Have you given pretend interviews in your head about your wildly successful novels? What topics did you talk about most in your "interview"?

8. If your WIP were going to be adapted into another form of media (TV, film, audio drama, comic, videogame, stage play, etc.) which do you think would fit it best? Which would you most like to see happen?

9. How well do your tastes in reading align with your tastes in writing?

10. Do you read or write fanfiction? If so, for what fandoms, and how do you think this has influenced your writing?

11. Asking who your favorite OC is is like asking about someone's favorite child. But come on, you know you have favorites. Who are they?