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#( one day i will stop being so emotional about these two
hiraethwrote · 3 days
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cw gn!reader but written with f!reader in mind, angst, no comfort, breakup, pining, minor clubbing wc: <1k an i'm on my period which is making me a little emotional, which resulted in this
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ex!suguru will never truly be over you, convinced you’re the one that got away.
the breakup was “mutual”, emphasis on the quotation marks — it only meant you guys ended on good terms. it was a very quiet and tender scene. he holds your hands in his, slowly his thumb strokes across your knuckles, never letting his eyes leave your tear stained face.
ex!suguru who, despite disagreeing wholeheartedly with the decision, sees it’s for the best. he will forever hate himself for being unable to see it coming, unable to stop it — one day he suddenly notices how staying in the relationship brought you more turmoil than joy, and he didn't have the heart to hold onto you even though he so desperately wanted to. but he would ruin himself million times over for you
“it’ll be okay,” he says softly, letting himself indulge in the small acts that come so naturally to him one last time before he has to let go, hand reaching up to dry your tears and cupping your cheek. “i’ll be okay.”
with the quiet promise, he feels the stress leave your body and you rest against his touch, a sad smile painting your lips — you’re so beautiful, he thinks.
ex!suguru who lies because he knows it's what you need to hear. you had already stayed longer than you wanted because you didn’t want to hurt him. he wasn’t surprised. you were just so considerate, through and through. he had always thought the relationship was too good to be true anyways, never truly feeling worthy of you
ex!suguru who doesn’t cry, but that is because he feels numb. he can’t remember feeling a pain as intense as this one.
when your tears have stopped, only shy sniffles escaping you, he comes with one last confession. “i’m always going to love you.” he waits, hoping you would say it in return. it isn’t because you don’t love him anymore that you can’t keep going, it’s just because it isn’t working.
“i know,” you say quietly and his heart shatters.
ex!suguru who has his friends fooled because they think he is over the relationship already. he acts the same, eats the same and goes about his business the same — but that’s because it doesn’t concern anyone other than the two of you.
first weekend as a single man, gojo forces him to go out clubbing with him. he really doesn’t want to, but he can’t give his friend any excuses he will accept.
he hates every moment of it, rudely shutting down anyone that approaches him. no matter how attractive, no matter how charismatic, no matter how willing — they’re not you so what’s the point?
ex!suguru who hates the universe a little more than usual. despite his best efforts, he can’t seem to escape you entirely. and he swears he tries, but you somehow just appear every now and then.
he spots you in the grocery store, doing your daily shopping. he spots you in the line of the coffeehouse, ordering your usual drink (one he knows by heart). he sees you on every feed, posting pictures and updates of your life — you seem happy.
his heart screams for him to surrender to his desires, to approach you and hear your voice again. but he knows better, so after torturing himself by admiring you for a few seconds, he simply turns on his heel and leaves.
ex!suguru who after years still thinks about you as much as the day you left. he has tried to move on, but it feels like a betrayal, even after all this time.
has he healed? sure, a little. life goes on after all. with time he has been reunited with some sense of happiness. however it could never compare to the period of his life where he was so fortunate to be with you.
ex!suguru runs into you after nine years. and not like all the times he has simply noticed you down the street — no, you fully crash into his chest one day while walking out of a bakery.
to say he is surprised is an understatement. he has memorised all the places you used to visit so this exact scenario wouldn’t happen, and this had never been a chain you had set foot in before. but a lot changes in nine years.
“suguru, hi.” your voice is light, a rhythm in it that was not present at the end of your relationship. “wow, crazy running into you. how have you been?”
“good,” he croaks, eyes glued to your face. he still finds you as ethereal as the day you left. he wants to say more, but he is a little unsettled by how at peace you seem to be despite not being with him. “and you?”
it doesn’t go unnoticed how you present yourself as genuinely content with where you are in life. however, suguru goes through the entire heartbreak all over again — he has missed so much of your life. he used to think he would be along side you for every single moment of it. instead he is stood in front of you and feeling as if the walls are closing in on him.
his breath catches when you stretch out your hand to grab his forearm. “it was really great seeing you again,” you muse. it’s probably just wishful thinking, but he believes he hears a sadness in your voice that comes from missing him.
“you too,” he whispers, and you’re gone again.
ex!suguru who eventually comes to terms with just being alone again. before you, he always imagined this was how it would end, not the person made to share his life with someone.
you had obviously made him believe otherwise. with you by his side, waking up next to someone and sharing your meals didn’t seem so silly anymore.
but it turns out he only wanted those things if it was with you.
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tags @sad-darksoul ノ @madaqueue ノ @toadtoru ノ @hiraethwa ノ @harperluvgojo
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©hiraethwrote 2024 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited
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lucystark12 · 2 days
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oh good god please stop
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i propose an alternative...
lets look at the context of these three scenes, shall we?
scene 1: max and lucas
this is lucas referring to max's depression and her distancing herself from the party as a result. this is something very tangible and real that could be found in a real life conversation between two people in a relationship. the context of this would make sense if you put it in any other kind of movie. in scene one, lucas is displaying his care for max as an individual and for her feelings. he is there for her in her everyday emotional pursuits.
scene 2: mike and el
this happens during the monologue when mike is quite literally using his words and the fact that he is physically there for her to help her save the world. TO. HELP. HER. SAVE. THE. WORLD. mike infact wasn't there- nor does he clearly have any desire to be- for her throughout the nine months where they were on the opposite sides of the country. he literally is only able to have this conversation (if you could even call it that) with her when THE WORLD IS ENDING. hello.
scene 3: steve and nancy
once again- DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES. nancy was literally just vecna'd. she was just put into a trance by vecna, prompting steve to say this to her. listen to urself.
the fact that the two debatable couples of the trio are only saying this to each other in something so absurd as a supernatural monster attacking the girl in said scenario whereas lucas and max are having a very real and tangible conversation about every day issues- not lucas being there for her specifically because she's dying, but because he cares about her and her feelings- should say it all.
i'd also like to add the fact that steve/mike say this to nancy/el when they're practically incapacitated and can't respond. el can't because she's fighting vecna, and nancy is calming down from coming out of a vecna trance. they can't respond. they can't say there piece. max was able to do that in her conversation with lucas because they are in a healthy relationship where both sides of the equation are valued. if this phrase is to mean anything, it's not a stretch to assume that nancy and el's lack of ability to voice their thoughts is a direct metaphor for the fact that their voices aren't/weren't being heard in the relationship with the other person.
my last point: by this logic... WHERE IS JOPPER? jopper is the only couple that, as of now, is basically 100% canon. there's a chance the love triangles could go the other way and a chance max won't wake up. if this is "code for endgame couples" then where is the show's only couple that's actually going to be endgame for sure?
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misstwisted · 3 days
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I can confidently say Lyle Menendez is one of the bravest men in the entire world, and I am so fucking aggravated with how the show has portrayed him.
Imagine you spent all your life trying to protect your baby brother from the abuse you suffered from, just for it to happen anyways.
And all this time you try so hard to put aside your pain and be strong for him, knowing he looks up to you, and knowing you are the only person in the world who can protect him from the two monsters in your life. Two monsters who happen to be the two people you’re supposed to trust the most.
And you are losing your hair from stress, and losing your brother due to your father, and losing your feelings of safety because your parents are a ticking time bomb that have been ready to go off your whole life.
So you do the one thing you think is the best option, and you and your brother shoot them dead.
And later on, you are put in a court room, having to discuss and relive all the terrible things that have ever happened to you in front of all these strangers and media cameras staring at you.
And your brother is there. Your brother who’ve you tried to hide the pain from for so long is across from you as you have to recount the vile things that have happened to you. And you have to watch him cry while you’re trying to keep yourself together.
Then later on, you guys get sentenced to life for trying to make sure you both get to live another day. And you’re forced to spend your mid 20s, to 30s, to 40s, and now 50s in prison, not getting to see your brother for decades until 2018.
And you know what you get out of it? You know what your payment is for suffering your entire life? For carrying the world on your shoulders for years ever since you were a kid?
You get portrayed as a psychopathic, egotistic, idiotic asshole in a show made by the creator of glee. You are constantly made fun of for your hair loss and the fact you have to wear a toupee, and you’re written as a completely devoid of empathy and unfeeling monster, who treats his brother like shit and only cares about himself. You are also being sexualized to death, and with your own brother as well.
Oh, and not to mention: the show basically says you FAKED your emotions and tears in court. Yeah, that time you were at your most vulnerable and bravely telling your abuse story even when you knew a lot of people wouldn’t understand? Fake! Totally and utterly fake. Apparently you were the actor in your family all along…
Lyle has been treated like shit his entire life. He was a child, a BABY when his parents started violating him. He didn’t even know how to ride a bike yet when it started. He barely had the chance for life yet. Please, media, leave this man and his brother alone. I NEVER wanna see this portrayal of Lyle again.
Unless I talk about how I finished the Netflix show, one last time: Fuck you Ryan Murphy. And stop doing this to victims. Stop disrespecting them.
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chuuya-lillia · 3 days
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🍷Chuuya's stages of dating -
This is my own opinion, it's long because I head canon Chuuya having trust & abandonment issues so it's harder for him to date.
First stage of dating Chuuya is getting to know each other, like non personal things. You would mostly be texting because he is very busy and it won't be consistent, but he will try to respond as soon as he can. He won't give you any gifts because you and him aren't official yet and he doesn't want to waste his money on a person that isn't close to him.
Second stage of dating Chuuya is the talking like friends, you would be talking about the small details, drama, and minor inconveniences. It will be a little more personal, but still not the deep stuff. You will still be texting him a lot, but you will also get late night video calls. He is not giving you gifts yet because you and him are still not official.
Third stage of dating Chuuya is the non official relationship dates, you would be finally going on dates with Chuuya, but they are small and inexpensive ones. He would take you to a cafe, getting ice cream, and go see a movie. Though this is probably going to happen like once a week so your main contact is texting and video calls. Still no gifts from him because to him the dates are the gifts so he doesn't feel like giving more.
Fourth stage of dating Chuuya is being together officially, you might tell him more deeper personal stuff about you while Chuuya won't because he's not at that level of trust yet. Chuuya would spend his lunch break with you and take you to all your favorite restaurants. You would still be texting him as main contact and have the late night calls. But both of you would share pictures of what you are currently doing like how you would do on Snapchat and on the days you don't have lunch with him in person, he would video call you. He will now start giving you gifts, small and inexpensive ones like your favorite flowers and candy.
Fifth stage of dating Chuuya is the doubting the significant other, Chuuya would start to doubt if you actually love him and it doesn't mean you did something wrong. It's more likely because of his hard time trust people and his fear of betrayal. He won't tell you that he's feeling that way, but he would start to text you more and question where you have been. He will take you out for lunch less because it's easier to hide your emotions through text versus real life. He would still have the late night video calls, but they will last longer than usual. He would stop giving gifts because of his paranoia and the fear that he will waste money on a person that doesn't even love him.
Part two of the fifth stage of dating Chuuya is reassurance, you probably picked up on his shift in attitude if you actually care for him and you don't bring it up to him right away. After about like two weeks of the same shift in behavior, you will confront him and at first he will deny it. You will have to comfort and reassure him that you love/care for him. It won't just take words to make him believe you so you will have get his favorite things, that will show you listened to him and that you cared enough to remember. Once Chuuya recognizes that you actually love and care for him, he will go back to the normal routine that you both are use to.
Sixth stage of dating Chuuya is getting more closer together, now Chuuya trusted you enough to tell you about deep personal things, but still keeps some personal things secret. You would also share deep personal things with him, if you haven't already. He takes you somewhere fun every Saturday and would take you on cute lunch dates on the weekdays, like a picnic, on a quiet beach, and the library. Chuuya would take you on night time rides on his motorcycle and go stargazing with you. He would still have the late night video calls, but he would also call you while he's in his office and during lunch, if you aren't having lunch in person that day. Chuuya would text you a good amount, not too much and not too less. He would buy you jewelry of your birth stone and clothes that you wished you had, but didn't buy because they were expensive. (but no expensive brands like Gucci)
Seventh stage of dating Chuuya is finally getting married, Chuuya wouldn't want a wedding and if he had one, it would be small. At this point Chuuya has been to your home, but you haven't been to his and he doesn't allow you to visit him at work. He will still not allow you to visit his work because he doesn't want you getting hurt, but he will invite you over to his house now that you guys are married. You guys will be living in separate homes for the beginning of the marriage. Chuuya will make a joint bank account for you two to share, but still will have his own bank account and you would too. Nothing really changes about what you guys do normally, expect for a few things, like being that Chuuya would start taking you shopping and another being that Chuuya would lower his working hours then he can spend more time with you.
Eighth stage of dating Chuuya is setting into the married life, you move into Chuuya's apartment and now able to visit him at work. He will be spending more time at home and with you. Those are the only things that changes.
Ninth stage of dating Chuuya is starting to grow a bigger family, you and Chuuya decide to start a family. Chuuya takes four months off near the end of the pregnancy because that's when it's the hardest and two months off after the baby is born. He also lowers his time at work again, but not a lot. Chuuya does not care if it's a boy or girl, he would love the baby no matter what. He's also against gender reveal parties and will just have a normal baby shower. Chuuya wouldn't like having a lots of kids, he would want four at max and one as the least. Chuuya will be there for you at all times, even if he's at work. If you have cravings, he will do the best he can to satisfy them and will cook for you. He would massage you if you are in pain, plus do everything in his power to make you comfortable and healthy. He would help change diapers and tend to the baby in the middle of the night then you can sleep.
Another version: Ninth stage of dating Chuuya is starting to grow a bigger family, you and Chuuya decide to adopt an pet.
If you get a dog, Chuuya will be very happy and spend a lot of time with it. He would buy the dog all the stuff they need and buy the best dog food. He will allow the dog to sleep on the bed with you two and sometimes snuggle with the dog in the couch.
If you get a cat, Chuuya will love it, but it would remind him of Dazai a little and will try to ignore that feeling. He would get the cat everything it wants and would be jealous if you spend more time with it then him. He won't allow it to sleep on your guys bed, but will allow it to sleep in the same room.
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theanimeroom · 22 hours
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BOMBSHELL | TEASER
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synopsis: five men, five women, one villa. with hearts and a $50,000 cash prize on the line, who will win the race to find love?
warnings: love island au featuring: tokyo revengers, blue lock, and jujutsu kaisen, lots of kissing, smut, multi characters × reader, lots of mixed pairings, very random challenges, fluff, slow burns, mentions of cheating, drama, angst, plenty of tears, multi fandom, and playlists included!
a/n: content warnings will be posted with each chapter, so be sure to read thoroughly before indulging! i haven't written a full fic in a while, so any beta readers would be appreciated to make sure that the story comes out as best as it could <3 the story will progress through my own discretion as well as voting at the end of each chapter, so make sure to cast your votes to see how the plot will unfold!
BOMBSHELL MASTERLIST
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your heartbeat was erratic as you stood in front of the fire pit and your host, eyes scanning the expanse of the large, beautiful villa that you'd been staying at for the past four weeks.
you still remember the first day that you walked in here; a plethora of pretty faces greeting you with happy smiles and intrigued expressions. you reminisced the way that you were almost as nervous as you are now, eyes wide and palms clammy as you tried to ignore the growing anxiety surging through you. you thought about all the experiences you'd had up until this point, all the friends you made, all the things you learned about yourself, and most importantly, him.
out of everything that you had been through in your time at the villa, one thing that made the whole experience worth it was finally meeting the person of your dreams. you came onto the show thinking that it would be something fun, maybe slightly embarrassing, but fun nonetheless. you never thought that you would come out the end with someone that you could call your own, someone who understood you seemingly better than you knew yourself. despite all the fights, all the tears, and everything in between, you managed to come out the other end okay. happy even.
and you weren't the only one.
your gaze fluttered to your best friend, who stood two people away from you, a proud smile crossing your lips even with your nerves consuming you. you weren't the only person who came into the villa with baggage on their shoulders, yet none of you let it stop you. a brief image of you holding her as she cried into your arms flashed through your mind, the sadness and betrayal leaving her a wreck in your makeup room. you'd thought for a moment that it would be the end of your time together, yet you were happy to see her pull through and find happiness in the end.
everyone here had done their absolute best, even with their rights and wrongs, and that thought alone was enough to quell the queasy feeling building up in your stomach.
"alright islanders, it is officially time," the hosts' voice chopped through the nerve-wracking silence with ease, her calm expression giving no hints as to how the end of the night would go. a long sigh escaped your flared nostrils as you closed your eyes, teeth grazing your bottom lip as you forced your emotions to stay in check.
a soft hand turned your attention to your left, air escaping you as you looked up at the man you could truly say you were starting to love. he smirked at you, his own expression laced with playfulness as he tried his best to calm you down. a large grin spread across your face when you felt fingers interlocking with yours, a gentle squeeze giving you all the reassurance you needed to keep yourself grounded for the time being. your breath halted as he leaned down, lips just barely touching the shell of your ear as he whispered to you softly. "we'll be fine, baby."
you pulled away so you could glance into his eyes, a small nod giving him confirmation that you heard what he said. you trust him, probably more than you should.
"it has been a long, hard journey for those of you remaining," your host started, giving a soft smile to each of the islanders standing on the other side of the firepit. "yet, each of you has managed to find a connection here in the villa. although some of you have been through more struggles than others," you could feel the heat rising onto your face when your eyes made direct contact with hers, a snort escaping you as you laughed with the rest of the islanders that you could now call your best friends. "you all have made it to the finals, and are now in the running for the 50,000 dollar prize on the line."
you subconsciously tightened your grip on his hand at the mention of the prize, your body weight shifting from one foot to the other. you wanted to win, wanted that 50,000 so badly so you could finish your schooling without issues. yet, you were content with whatever outcome was prepared for you. in the end, as long as you had him next to you, you would give up the money in a heartbeat.
"since the start of the show, the country has been voting for their favorite love island couple," each word she spoke left your anxiety spiking, your mind begging her to just hurry up and give the results before your heart exploded from suspense. "but now, they have voted for their official love island winner."
you held your breath as you stared at the host, silence taking over the villa as she picked up a small envelope from the couch behind her. you eyed the paper with angst as she peeled it open slowly, reading the results before looking up at the lot of you behind the fire pit.
you watched as her jaw flexed, a breath getting sucked into your mouth as your heart started to beat so fast you thought it would jump out of your chest.
her mouth opened, eyes scanning the crowd before the first words left her lips. "and the winner... of love island is..."
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l-in-the-light · 3 days
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The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Whole Cake Island (part 12)
Lawlu in Whole Cake Island? There is none! Actually... do we really need Law to be present to analyze it, come to think of it? Luffy is really all we need; to watch his behaviour, things he says, his determination, to guess how Law's influence would show and how partying ways with him (even if temporarily) would impact Luffy.
This is the Alice in Wonderland Arc of One Piece, which means Luffy's main struggle will be to face himself, his own weakness, fears, and maybe even his own self-hatred. Which is why this time it won't be the usual scrutinizing analysis of frame by frame, but instead I will take a deep-dive into Luffy's mind. Are you ready? :D
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Luffy starts Whole Cake Island arc in a rush. Because why wouldn't he feel in a rush? There's a wedding to stop! There's a chance they won't make it in time, after all. But... seeing how Zou ended, there's probably one more reason why Luffy is so irritated and wants to get things done as fast as possible... there will be someone waiting for him in Wano, alongside the rest of Luffy's own crew. Luffy could tolerate being seperated from his own crew for two years, but this two weeks trip to Whole Cake Island seems like a torture to him. What changed exactly between timeskip and now? Oh, right, Law got added into the picture ;)
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"See? She didn't have any problem with my yeeting!" and I wish he could add "Law also had no trouble after I yeeted us in Dressrosa, you should be more hardboiled like him!", because I swear, this feels like the thing he actually means. And he is right, Law hated being yeeted, but he dealed with it just fine in the end, keeping his clear mind and sense of direction intact.
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And then, out of nowhere, Luffy gains an interest in cooking. Luffy, of all people! The very same Luffy who thought a musician is more essential on the crew than a cook!
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He even compares Nami's nutritional knowledge to a doctor instead of a cook. For Luffy, a cook is just someone who makes your food look and taste extra great, but it's not neccessary for a kid who grew up in a jungle eating everything the way it comes or simply by roasting it over a fire. So why is he suddenly so interested in cooking?? Is he missing Sanji that much? Is he trying to make his crew miss Sanji so the reunion is more emotional? Good guesses, but they have one flaw: they don't take Luffy's personality enough into account.
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Back in East Blue, Luffy agreed to recruit a cook before a musician only because his crew wanted one and also because he's a freaking glutton.
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"You guys are really rude, I made this food for you!" now that doesn't fit with Luffy's personality of "I want to eat all the meat". Suddenly, it's for them, hm?
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Then he tries his own "kitchen sink curry", spits it out, shouts that's it's inedible and flips the table! Why so mad? Oh yeah, because as we learn soon after, he tried cooking multiple times and it's still something that can't be eaten. He tried so many times that he wasted a stock of food they had that was supposed to last them for a week, for all of them! And it's all gone in one day.
Luffy's frustration is understandable then, because this is what he considers to be "his best attempt". As we learn from SBS, Luffy's best dish is just a bowl of meat (in other words: pieces of meat put in a bowl lol), which means he would not prepare "curry" or any sort of exquisite dish for himself. He indeed did this dish with others in mind. He would be more likely to just roast whatever he caught and shove it towards them, asking "you want some?", if it was only about him.
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Despite his constant failures, he's still not getting discouraged and wants to learn how to cook edible things for people to enjoy. Nami though stops him and tells him "to never go into the kitchen again", ouch. They have been starving for days as the result of Luffy's "cooking attempts" and Luffy almost lost his life as the result (eating poisonous skin of a fish they finally caught), so her reaction is understandable. But this should make us realize that Luffy, thanks to this whole (mis)adventure, understands Sanji better without even realizing it. After all, Sanji was also told to "never cook again" by his father.
But I think this adventure has one more meaning. Whole Cake Island is basically a tale about the good and bad sides of food industry, but also how food creates connections between people. And I think XxXholic covered the latter part better than I could ever put in words, so forgive me for the unexpected crossover here. You don't need to know XxXholic, its plot or characters to be able to follow the quotes, they also don't spoil anything from the plot, so don't worry. We're just following one of the many, many side characters there.
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First of all, if you want to repay a debt or show your gratitude, the best way is to offer food and good drink. And the best way to do it, is to offer stuff you cooked yourself, because they require your own time and effort, and include your feelings (of gratitude and love) for the person you cooked it for. If someone does you a favour, it's a good idea to say "thanks" by preparing a dish they like, for example.
"I would like to cook with you and then eat it together. And then I would really like to know more about you. And for you to learn about me, as well" says the protagonist to one of his clients. Cooking together is a big thing because it creates an equal, mutual bond: you get to know me, I get to know you, and we can both try to become better at cooking together, but also better people for each other as well. Because by cooking we learn more about what the other person likes and dislikes, but also about their personality: their usual way of problem solving, about their patience, flexibility, stubborness, ability to learn etc. Your prefered way of cooking can also reflect your personality this way and you try to offer your best through a dish you put a lot of effort to make, for someone to enjoy.
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You can learn a lot about yourself as well through cooking. If you compare your own cooking to someone else's, you can realize your own personality traits you wished you would have never noticed (for example impatience, like Luffy flipping the table in anger: even Nami called him out on it, Sanji would not approve of that action!). You might also realize that someone preparing food for you did it with lots of feelings, of kindness and love, and that's why that food tastes good. And if in comparison your own food is terrible, bland, without flavour or personality, it just shows you don't really share your own love with the world through the act of cooking. In Luffy's case up there, his food was so terrible (though definitely full of his personality lol) despite him putting in his best effort and feelings. How did it make him feel about himself? Perhaps like he has nothing good to offer to people he loves? But his final reaction is always this: try to be better and do better!
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Luffy offering his failed attempts to his crew serves the same purpose: he's offering them what he has, even if the result is disgusting. But this is the kind of person Luffy is at the moment and he has nothing better to offer!
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The sidestory in XxXholic has a happy ending, the struggle continues on and the woman's significant other supports her efforts and says they will wait for as long as it takes. Now, what does that have to do with One Piece? The reason this woman couldn't cook something that would taste good wasn't because she's clumsy, or didn't put any effort in or lacked knowledge (she actually studied cooking like it's an university subject, it clearly mattered a lot to her!).
What she lacked in the end was love, not for others, but for herself. She hated herself so much that she believed anything she would do would turn out bad (which is exactly what happened over and over), almost like she was subconsciously self-sabotaging her own efforts. And since she didn't have love for herself she had nothing to give to others either, despite caring for them and being so grateful to people who loved her the way she is, imperfect, disbelieving in her own worth, broken. She just didn't feel like she has anything to offer to all the great people around her.
Sounds familiar?
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"What can you do?" Arlong asks Luffy. "You can't do anything, you're a disgrace as a captain". And Luffy proceeds to say he has great people who support him (which means he does not think of himself as great, he knows he lacks in so many ways), but there is one, just one thing he can do for them back: it's to beat up people like Arlong.
And yet despite that, in Whole Cake Island, Luffy attempts to do what he literally can't do: to cook. He knows he can't do it, but he tries it anyway, knowing very well what the end result will be. It's not that he lost his mind. We mustn't forget why he's doing a stealthy mission on WCI. It's exactly because he can't do what he usually does: beat up Big Mom. He promised he won't do it. But what *can* he do then? It's his struggle to become better and get out of his comfort zone, and he starts that from attempting cooking. It won't be the first or last time that he will fight against himself in this arc, even denying things he had the most confidence in. This is the arc in which Luffy loses the sight of what he can and can't do, and needs to come up with a new answer or rediscover the one he already had all along. This is Luffy in a crisis.
Now is that related to Luffy being seperated from Law and dealing badly with it? Or Luffy realizing how much he knows Law has faith in him and he wants to live up to it? Because like we established before, Luffy is doing this stealthy attempt only for the sake of his alliance with Law, he would not bother usually and would just destroy Big Mom because she's in his way. I can only imagine Luffy's inner struggle when he tries to come up with a new solution here but can't get any, nothing works out if he just can't beat up the bad guy and move on. Luffy's later refusal to eat anything that isn't Sanji's cooking, not even the syrup rain, must reflect how Luffy feels about himself in this moment: he feels pathetic and useless and he must hate himself for it.
There's one more angle to it. Luffy suspiciously wants to cook as fast as they're seperated from Law. He thinks nutritional knowledge is something a doctor does and he's impressed with it. Law is a doctor. It's not a stretch to think that Luffy wants to learn something new to impress his favourite person upon return. It's highly likely he wants to cook for Law as well (and he's using his crew for taste-testing for now), because he has feelings of love and gratitude he wants to convey to him, but he doesn't know how to do it. But Luffy always had Sanji who used his cooking exactly for that: to show his feelings of love for people (and was very vocal about it!). Luffy is just trying to do the same, but he realized he can't do it no matter what. By the end of the arc he comes back to terms with himself and finds the old truth again: he will leave the cooking to Sanji and rely on his crew. He can try to be a better person in other ways, but he will keep on searching for a way to show love and gratitude to them.
And we will not talk about Luffy suddenly remembering people smooch each other and talking about it in context of Sanji's wedding, uhum. If that's on his mind all of a sudden when it wasn't even once for last 80 volumes, then you can guess why it suddenly would be. People who love and care for each other smooch, so maybe he was considering... things...
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Another odd thing Luffy does, which is to check on the map and comments, frowning "it's weird". He has a point, because we learn later it was a deliberate trap. But he's paying attention here because he tries to be useful and does things he usually wouldn't be doing. Just like with cooking.
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Same here. It's probably the first moment in which Luffy realizes that having a longterm plan would be actually a good thing. Yeah, Luffy of all people. That's because he must be thinking "if it was Law, he would definitely have one". I feel like other people were pointing it out to Luffy before, but it's the first time he actually shows that he kinda cares and isn't answering with "I'm just here for the adventure. And become a king of the pirates, no plans included!".
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Look here. This is Luffy in a crisis. "I have to get back and I'll destroy everything in my way if I have to!" Not only he's not supposed to destroy everything or beat up Big Mom, which he points out a moment later, but Luffy is clear here, he made his decision: if he can't go back, he will simply get rid of everything on his way. Getting back is the most important thing, everything else be damned.
Except... are we really talking about Sanji here? Get back where, Luffy? To Wano perhaps, where your crew and Law will be waiting?
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"I'm not going to die in a place like this!!", "I made him a promise, but it's not here!!". I'm just saying, this applies both to Sanji and the promise Luffy made "to meet up in Wano". And if he wants to get back no matter what, it's because he knows he can't die here, he can't force a certain someone to go through a big loss again. He would rather tear off his arms than not return at all and break his promise.
And we get Sanji with his "I didn't tell you to wait..." and Luffy just laughs in reply. This particular laugh he used only once before, btw, and I don't recall anywhere else:
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When he was telling Zoro how much he's worrying about Sanji. Because why wouldn't Luffy know that Zoro and Sanji are the most important people for each other? Zoro is his best friend and his first crewmate, Luffy just knows what's in his heart, the same way that Zoro probably knows who is so important for Luffy as well.
Do you still think Luffy-Sanji scene was *only* about Luffy and Sanji? That the whole promise talk was only about Sanji? And not two particular people waiting for both of them in Wano? It was always about both reasons.
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Luffy says he can't be the king of the pirates without Sanji. And demands that Sanji says how he really feels (which is "to go back on Sunny" ❤). Imagine if Luffy said both of those lines to Usopp in Water 7. Maybe a lot of the conflict could have been avoided. Especially if Luffy would also follow his very own advice, because he was not saying his true feelings in the quarrel with Usopp. What changed since Water 7 in Luffy? A lot, actually. Ace, timeskip, Dressrosa, Law... All those things are huge milestones in Luffy's development. But there's also the promise he made. He promised Zoro his crew to bring Sanji back. And that promise also changed everything.
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WCI is also the first arc in which Luffy says he is ready to drop everything, even his own dream, and go save whoever needs to be saved for his crew's sake. It's very ironic how in this scene he also needs to struggle against himself, this time with his enormous hunger, that seems to sabotage his ironclad determination. For once Luffy doesn't do things for food and that despite the whole arc being exactly about food. That's how serious he is.
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Now we have to talk about the alliance with Bege. Here is Luffy's initial reaction: "what an awful person", "Bege is gonna get it!". He does not like Bege at all, he also wants to punch him for what Bege did to Pekoms. In other words, Luffy doesn't think Bege is a good person, at all.
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But just a moment later, when Jimbei tells him "you should work together with Bege", Luffy changes his mind immediately. He's all up for this alliance. His crew, that has been with Luffy the longest (Nami and Sanji) can't believe their ears. What an interesting change, isn't it? Like I argued at the beginning of this post, Luffy has to do things differently this time instead of doing what he usually does. The problem is, he's not good at anything else than "beating the main bad guy". That's why in this case he's determined to do something he would usually never do. And forgive me for the callback again to XxXholic, because I can't resist:
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Luffy has the same idea as the protagonist here. "This is all I can do", and "if this person was with me, they would be able to find a better way". In other words, Luffy agreed to this alliance because he thinks this is something Law would do as well. Luffy is constantly wondering in Whole Cake Island how Law would handle the situation and he knows he can't come even close to his level, but at least he will try to follow in his footsteps.
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Of course Luffy wants at first to punch Bege for Pekoms. He's still trying to make this alliance a friendship, and if he hits Bege then they will be even, so they can try becoming friends. That's basically the idea.
But he doesn't get to do that and in the end, Luffy agrees to alliance based on "common goal" or "allignment of interest". He did not become friends with Bege in the process and didn't make things even between them. This proves Luffy knows what an alliance is and it's not friendship. I wouldn't say this means Luffy finally learned what an actual alliance is (though it's tempting, ngl). I would rather say he always knew that, but he chose to make it a point that whatever he has with Law, is friendship firstmost, alliance second.
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And here is Luffy listening to Bege's plan. He's trying, okay. Not his fault he's constantly getting distracted, sidetracked and overfocused on making a silly entrance party trick (jumping out of the wedding cake). Bege is just not Law, and Luffy's tiktok's level span of attention is struggling here, heh. Also please notice Luffy's unusual focus on the smooching lol.
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Oh, so that's Luffy's idea for the wedding surprise. He just wanted to do ninja's shadow clonining trick, definitely inspired by Raizou's show in Zou.
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Coincidentally, that's the technique that was Law's request and made Law so damn impressed. Yeah, this is for sure a coincidence, that Luffy chose to do it like that, even though he didn't really have to have multiple copies of himself here to make it work. I bet he just thought "if Law would be here, that would impress him, I'm sure!" and I bet he's looking forward to telling him all about this adventure later on and seeing his face.
But it was essenstial for his plan to create chaos! He didn't do it just for fun! Are you sure? Because it was Brook who hid himself in the midst and did the deed with Mother Carmel's photo frame, and Luffy did not tell him to do this. Luffy simply wanted to be cool, okay, he didn't think that far ahead. He was supposed to cause chaos, he delivered.
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And in his fight with Katakuri, Luffy is the one who has to have faith. Law had his faith moment in Dressrosa, now it's Luffy's turn.
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Luffy found his answer about what he can do and how to become a better person for someone. It's to master his observation haki. Which, coincidentally, is Law's forte.
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Luffy's curious, very strict words to Jimbei. "Don't let even death stop you, we'll be waiting in Wano!" It's basically Luffy's own promise he made before leaving Zou, just said in more deadly serious manner. That's because his experience in Whole Cake Island made him realize it himself: he will go back to Wano and not even death can stop him from achieving that. Because he promised that to Law people.
I'm sure for Law this would be indeed the most important thing, not to lose anyone ever again, especially Luffy who he (miraculously) managed to save all the way back in Marineford. I don't know how Luffy knows this or if he knows at all about Law's deepest fear, but he's determined not to die on him, that's for sure.
This is also the first big seperation for Luffy and Law. Luffy deals with it, treating everything like an adventure to tell Law later so it feels like Law is there with him even though he's not. But also treats it like a challenge, to become a better and stronger person so he won't disappoint him.
Still convinced there was no Lawlu in WCI? Oh well, if that's the case then all I can say is: I tried my best :D
If anyone wants to read all the parts of this series without going to my masterpost, then just click "love is a hurricane" tag :3
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Tech Tuesday: Ransom Drysdale
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Summary: Your laptop needs repair and you're at risk of embarrassing yourself and the company in front of some very big investors.
Warnings: Crying, Ransom kinda being an ass. Let me know if I missed any.
A/N: Reader is female. No other physical descriptors used.
Tech Tuesdays Masterlist
Part 2
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As you're counting down the seconds until your presentation with no file, wondering how you're going to wing this, your temporary laptop dings with an email notification. Taking a look you see it's from Ransom, with an attachment. The message simply says, "found the file. Still working on the laptop." You quickly slap your hands over mouth to stifle the happy screams. That doesn't stop you from bouncing in your seat with tears of relief starting to form.
When you're able to calm down enough you open the attachment and confirm that it's the file you need for your meeting in...you check your watch, 10 MINUTES!!
You type out the quickest, but most meaningful "thank you" response to Ransom before packing up the laptop and running to the meeting room. You need to get set up and review your notes quickly!
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Ransom feels relieved when he gets the message that the file was correct, maybe you'll be a little less excitable next time he sees you. If he sees you again. He's hoping to get your laptop fixed up and drop it off at your desk when you're not there. Then he won't have to deal with your emotions again.
To say he's never been comfortable around tears would be an understatement. All his life his parents taught him that tears were either for the weak or for purposes of manipulation. That he wasn't crying because he was hurt or frustrated, but because he was trying to guilt them into giving him attention. He's made progress since he went "no contact" with them but it's still difficult for him to be around emotional people. And god you were so emotional!
And cute. Cutesy! Ransom chides himself. Not cute, just cutesy.
Your cubicle was something else. He'd visited some that had a stuffed animal or a figurine or two, but your desk was practically covered in the damn things. At least it was a good sign your emotions weren't an act. He takes a quick look around his own cubicle, thinking about what it says about him. It's empty of pretty much all personal effects. The only thing he keeps in there is a picture of the beemer he had to sell to get away from his family. What does it say about him that the only personal effects he had was a reminder of what he lost?
Ransom shakes his head. He needs to focus on fixing this laptop. He can't afford to keep thinking about you.
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The presentation seems to go well. CEO Levinson asked a lot of good questions that showed he was paying attention and you really felt that you answered them well. He even shook your hand afterwards before going off to talk with the managers and continue negotiations with the clients. Your supervisor even made sure to give you that nod that told you all was well. You were beaming!
As soon as you were out of the conference room, however, you focused on getting yourself to your cubicle. It's been such a hectic day that you just really need to grab one of your plushies and squeeze it tight to help you decompress.
When you enter your cubicle you see your old laptop, all plugged in! You open it up and confirm everything is working, looking good, and still has all of your personalization. There's an email asking you to confirm that the ticket was good to be closed. You were bouncing in your seat as you confirmed. Grabbing the temporary laptop you practically skip to the IT section to return it.
Ransom is walking out, empty coffee mug in hand, as you're walking in.
"Ransom!" you squeal as you bounce on your toes. "Thank you so much! Can I please hug you? Please?" You give him your best puppy dog eyes.
Ransom blinks a few times, "I'm not a hugger. And I need some coffee."
"Oh, okay," you nod. Not everyone likes hugs and you respect that. "I hope you enjoy the coffee! You deserve the best!"
He seems caught off guard by your comment. "Um...thank you," he mumbles before walking past you.
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Tech Tuesdays Masterlist
Part 2
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;
@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly; @lokislady82
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sillygoose067 · 2 days
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A Masked Promise
Ch.2
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Dick Grayson(Nightwing) x Reader
As soon as Dick reaches the Titan Tower, he looks you up on all of his databases. Nothing. Nothing vaguely interesting about you pops up. You were a simple girl from middle-class family, who went to university, got a degree or two, and now you were in a tiny coffee shop due to the recent collapse of the economy. Nothing remotely suspicious about you. He was in no danger of having revealed his identity to you. Albeit, it was his civilian identity, but one could never be too sure. 
So if you were so boring, why did he want to get to know you better?
Dick finds himself at the door of The Chariot again the next day. Your eyes meet his as he walks through the tinkling entrance. “Hi! It’s you again. Welcome… back?”
He just nods, not being used to sharing friendly greetings with anyone. “I’ll just have the same thing as last time, thanks…”
“Oh! Um, Y/n.”
“Thanks Y/n.”
“Yeah, no problem... Mr. Wayne?” you wince as you say his name out loud. 
He waves you off. “Just Dick is fine.”
As you bring his order around, you can’t contain your curiosity and ask, “Hey, Dick. I noticed you were wearing a uniform yesterday. If I’m not being too annoying, which you can totally tell me if I am, but were you working on a case from around here?” you bounce nervously, twisting your fingers.
He calmly motions for you to sit in the seat across from him. Taking a sip of his coffee, he watches as you wait for an answer with a bated breath. 
“Yeah, I was looking for this girl,"  he pulls out a picture of a purple-haired young girl from his coat pocket. “Her name is Rachel Roth. She allegedly has been having many emotional outbursts in which she goes into a state of psychosis and injures the people around her.” He adds the last bit once he notices how you’re itching to know more. 
“So you’re going to arrest her? She looks so young... probably around 16.”
He watches as you look down sadly at the picture of the girl on the table. “Let’s keep this between you and me, but I’m not going to arrest her.”
You look up sharply. “What do you mean? Isn’t that your job?”
He glances away sheepishly. “It is... yeah. But let’s just say I have a sort of... soft spot... for misunderstood children. I want to help her before society can condemn her for things she can’t control.”
You nod along, humming as you mull over his words. Then, suddenly, you check your wrist. “Shi– Sugar! My break’s over.” You sigh and look back over to him and apologize. “I am so sorry, Mr. Dick; this was a great talk, and I’d really love to know more, but I have to go now.”
Fiddling with the straps of your apron, you rush towards the counter—but you stop midway, turn, and stalk back up to the enigma of a man, Dick Grayson. “And for the record, I think you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes what’s right isn’t always what we’re told to do in society. I wish you luck in finding Rachel, and I’ll help in whatever way I can.” And with that, you’re off to work, and stunned Dick is left staring behind you.
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lengthy-artery · 1 month
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#waiting to start not one but TWO immunosupressants and knowing exactly what date it's going to happen is so weird#because there's a deadline on your immune system now#and i spend most of the time not really thinking about it and then out of nowhere I'll be like#oh yeah#in just under two weeks I won't have my good immune system anymore#i wont be able to rely on it as i always have because it won't be there#and i know Exactly when it's going to happen#it's. in all honestly it feels bizarrely like being at the vets when sobi was put to sleep#it was the right thing to do it was the right time to so it and i knew it was coming#we need to do this so my immune system doesn't keep eating my intestines in its fervour#it's the right thing to do it's the right time to do it it's needed and necessary but I'm grieving all the same#yes okay maybe it's stupid to equate starting immunosuppressants with my pet dying#maybe im being overdramatic about all this#ive had people tell me it probably wont be that bad it'll probably just give me a normal system j shoudl stop stressing about all this#i should stop feeling so sad about all this#and that doesn't help one fucking bit#i do feel sad about this. i feel very sad about this. i am experiencing grief about this#dont tell me to make my emotions smaller#the nurse said i would could as high risk. that i will need to avoid people who even just have colds#this is not a small change. this is me losing something i have relied on for my entire life#something i have taken a stupid pride in for my entire life#and it feels just like being at the vets. gently stroking sobi's head as he died#putting him to sleep. putting my immune system to sleep. telling it did well#it'll come back one day i know (i hope) but for now it has a deadline#crunchy rambles
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random0lover · 11 months
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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”
(Rant in tags)
#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah#but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way#he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod#qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right#after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like#my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit#I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we#get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that#stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my#brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a#reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period#is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet#it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps#random0lover rambling ♡
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simcardiac-arrested · 11 months
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i don’t think we’re ever getting out of the “we’re just friends” “oh yeah those characters are such good friends (sarcasm)” “they’re not friends they’re gay” etc etc hole. we’re never getting out of that hole
#yes it’s bad when people try to erase gay relationships to portray them as friends and nothing more#that is NOT what i mean. i’m talking about when people do the Opposite Thing and decide that when characters are romantic togethr#then suddenly they’re not friends anymore! or if they say they’re friends they’re lying!#like … i was watching nimona with my friend yesterday and like. if you’ve seen the movie you know how obviously gay and in love bal and#ambrosius are. and then there’s this one moment where ambrosius says ‘i have lost everything the man i love my best friend’ and at that#moment my friend was like It’s sad that they decided to censor their relationship even though this movie is still rly gay :( and i was like#WHAT are you saying ? these two men are clearly in love with one another BUT they’re also best friends. Like those are things that can#coexist!! and DO coexist!!! there are many cases where people consider their romantic partners their best friends . or even refer to them as#their best friends more than just partner!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYINGGGG . does anybody get it#does anybody understand#i’m so sick of amatonormativity i’ll start eating drywall#yes i love making ‘oh they seem like really good friends’ jokes because i know how most people interpret those jokes. but to me it’s like#well. they ARE really good friends. they’re just also romantic/gay about it. ghhehghh#maybe one day friendship will stop being seen as something lesser maybe one day people will realize that most romance is also friendship#and your partner can be and in most cases is your friend or your best friend even#and maybe one day we’ll stop acting like friendship & romance are two mutually exclusive things#and maybe sure that gay character is calling their love interest their Best Friend because of denial and repressed emotions and whatever#but have u considered that it’s just true and they really are best friends ?? like when crowley calls az his best friend sure that might be#gay denial but they also literally Are best friends i don’t know what to tell you. and they will always be best friends#DOES ANYBODY GET IT !!!!!!!! js any of this making sense i dont know. I love complaining#crammerposting
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sinterblackwell · 9 months
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reading vol.4 of 2ha is so surreal because this has to be the most yearning i’ve ever read from mo ran and it literally aches, but all i had been thinking for a certain couple of chapters is “wait isn’t this our token of love burns red from ao3? 🧐”
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 11 months
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A post in honor of General Jarod Fire Emblem my precious.
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#DCB RD Run#Jarod Fire Emblem#idk if he has a tag but he has one now if not#also i had to put some pics together and make them one bc tumblr stops letting me arrange pics after 16 pics it's so fckn annoying#now pls if you would take a seat while i go on a small tangent (small bc i am limited to thirty tags per post!)#now so you see aside from him being a total hoot with awesome resolution/determination#smth i love about general jarod fire emblem my precious is his relationship with alder#bc you see jarod is clearly scum like fuck him yeah??? and then you get whacked with this emotional scene with alder#i love how they wrote two total scum villains as being just... human. i feel bad for them in that moment#as a human being even knowing everything they did i feel bad for them and respect them both#it doesn't change that they're scum and doesn't erase what they've done but it still elicits an emotional response from me#it makes me wish jarod was better and not an enemy. it makes me wish in a way that that could've been his atonement arc beginning#but i know that can't happen and wouldn't - he's too far gone. but as a human that's just the emotion i get seeing that scene#and then RIGHT as jarod is going back to his batshit villainy he dumps THAT fuckin' speech on us#MIND YOU with this really badass music playing. all his soldiers get into position#and you watch them move to the spots you'll start off with them in on the map when the battle starts#also man was hilarious right to his grave and i love all the shade he threw at bk that's among my love languages#and yes i did actually in fact start this file the same day i beat part one#anyway enjoy your general jarod fire emblem bc fe heroes sure isn't
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list of things i can depend on to make me cry
feathers across the seasons
starscream's confession + sentence at the end of till all are one
shigechi's death in jojos
the director watching allison's last words on repeat until he died
#'starscream confessed. to everything. it took over an hour but no one even tried to stop him.#it was the most shocking act of bravery i had ever seen.'#its 2am its monday and im bawling my eyes out because i accidentally saw that page again#life in prison...... he will always be a caged bird.#he couldnt have ever escaped it#its always 'its never too late to be better' but it always was for him#he never stood a chance#it was never for him its not fair#why not him?#im so sad now. bruh it hurts#why is it too late? what kind of sick fuck said its a good virtue to teach others its never too late to change?#why was he punished for being better? they always said honesty is always rewarded. with what? life in prison?#blah blah blah at least elita didnt become lo-- I DONT CARE!!! I DONT FUCKING CARE#WHY NOT HIM???#im going to cry about it and be sad. shit got me emotional and irrational#illogical even#and the fact that he wasnt stupid. he gave up for a better world#he knew he was going to be straight up executed for it#he changed. why was that not enough??#avo that was enough blah blah blah he got life sentence instead of death#BUT NOT ENOUGH! I HATE IT#im gonna cry myself to sleep#screamer got me fucked up bruh#avo you can solve this by just reading more comi-- NO!!!! >:( NO#this is the reason i only read it once per year#i didnt even read it this year yet#if i ever die unexpectedly i want one of the two ppl who follow me here to have my TC toy and the other to have my megatr*n toy#special instructions for TC. do not sell him and do not give him away to a child. idc about megs he got run over with a car once and hes ok#this comic gonna kill me one day
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reginrokkr · 21 days
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𝐂𝐗𝐂𝐕𝐈𝐈. A common thematic surrounding Khaenri'ahns in other countries (at least in Sumeru and Natlan thus far) is that there is a copious amount of people who talk about them disdainfully, as if they're at fault for the consequences that the cataclysm brought everywhere —and they'd be right, if only partially because the society seems to have been divided—. We have seen an instance in which one of the offspring of these who had to take the blame (despite bearing the best interests of said country, actually) talking about the unfairness behind it and transcending into an Abyss Herald in Sumeru, which is true but it still doesn't affect the entire populace of Khaenri'ah. But what catches the attention the most is that, at least from the people we've come across so far, none of them stand up against those accusations and would actually be seen as traitors than heroes. This speaks leagues of the guilt and / or even the shame of being a Khaenri'ahn after everything that it caused due to the obsessions people had with the Abyss, but also of how honorable and noble they are, going as far as aiding other nations without breaking a sweat despite the fact that these nations are regarded as enemies to Khaenri'ah for not having the same view of life in regards of gods as they have.
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yongseungkim · 5 months
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#bruhhhh im literally doing the same things to my current friend group that i did to people in high school bruhhh#how do u stop the cycle </3 it is endless#at the very least now i am awARE#but the awareness doesnt hit until im out of the actual social situations#within the moment i feel quite overwhelmed and excluded no matter what i do#i think for me its harder cuz im just also more introverted#so other people might see my quietness as like idk oh maybe she doesnt wanna talk right now#while im seeing things as why am i not being talked to right now :((#its hard i want to show up for my friends a lot of them are graduating#but every group social event makes me feel more and more alone and i have stopped being able to control my emotions in the moment#like just the knowledge of like#if theres only space for 2 people on a sidewalk i'll be that third person trailing behind#and like its always me#groups of three make me uncomfortable#i dont have the confidence to insert myself in a group of two like ever#which is part of the problem for sure#and its like im quiet so even if i insert myself it'll just be me doing NOTHIGN#and saying NOTHIGN#which like ACHK#been getting bad at fighting these thoughts more and more by the day#the onLY thing thats different is my logical side she is#way louder than she used to be before i just gotta learn how to listen to her#in the MOMENT#its always afterwards where shes like told ya so#im doing more for myself too now though really really dont want life to repeat itself for the nth time#seeing a therapist rn who feels a lot better than my previous ones so im holding out hope#told me to list things i like about myself and i was like uhh how about things i value <3#and she was like no LSDKJF#its so tricky cuz like the things i value i dont even necessarily like about myself#i value honesty but honesty if misdelivered stings and i think ive done that one too many times
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