#even tho its my last year at uni HAHA

[worri-wort]

Although I'm not the biggest fan of Two Face, I decided to draw my favourite plushie as him for a warm up before attack commissions and school work <3

[mysteryanimator]

I love your animations, but I'm still struggling to view them without thinking about their last canon interaction. Can you tell me what you envision their makeup would be like?

(Lol I’m so sorry to all the ppl who work on Nocturne reading this 💀 and just generally everyone)

Thank you so much that means a lot! But now, you’ve unveiled my trap card and given me an excuse to write my thoughts on Mizrak and Olrox, so this will get pretty long. Also, this may end up being very subjective/personal taste in some parts so I hope everyone doesn’t mind (and hope you don't mind the funky grammar!) This is an open discussion too, I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts! 

Now with that out of the way here we go!

(This is old unfinished storyboards for a previous iteration of their makeup scene I did back in jan, never finished them due to uni/another project, I'd like to someday tho because guh the themes.)

Now first of all, I’d like to think that a proper makeup/conversation wouldn’t happen for a bit and would be drawn out because they’re both still hurt, angry, sad, and confused at not only each other but themselves. They’re not the type to get into loud verbal arguments for this, definitely some verbal jabs at each other though. Mean petty comments, oh absolutely. I’d like to personally believe they’d still yearn for each other, perhaps even more so after Olrox indirectly confessed and Mizrak practically turned it down. 

Now, there are soooo many different ways that they’d even see each other again, many different ways it could come to that initial point where they’ve made up. Though I’ll go with one of my personal idea (which people keep egging me on to animate WHICH… I dunno I don’t have free time rn so I’m just blurting it out into written format while I can 😭 I want to though, maybe later in the year for fun if season 2 doesn’t beat me to it). 

Have to establish my vision, but I’d think that Richter, Maria, Annette, Alucard and Mizrak are hopping from abandoned town to abandoned town due to the inability to return to Macheoul for the time being. While Olrox has been on his own (doing what, I’m not even sure my personal headcanon for this.) I think Alucard and Mizrak have a conversation about Alucard’s past in a group setting and it strikes a chord with the monk- since after all, Alucard’s dad is THE Dracula, and his mother (bless her, I miss her) is human. You know how that whole backstory goes, and it parallels Olrox a lot. Also Mizrak and Annette will absolutely have a deep conversation too. Just solely from the comment that was made: 

“We’re all descended from gods, we just have to learn how to draw their power.” Nocturne s1 ep 2

Annette clearly having powers from Haitian gods, absolutely challenging how Mizrak was only certain of one God. Yes, Mizrak is extremely stubborn and it will take him a bit, but he’s different from the Abott in the sense that he will not let religion blind his path to good. He ‘uses his head’ as said before, not god, not the church- his head. Mizrak’s idea of the church and his faith is now a mess and it’s up to him on how he interprets it and rewrites it knowing what he knows now (this is important I swear when it comes to the makeup scene).

Now we’re at the actual scene at hand: Olrox and Mizrak making up.

Side note: oh god I’m practically writing this whole thing as if its going to be played out for an episode, but that’s how it works in my brain LOL but you asked so you shall receive. I am so sorry HAHA

There’s been a lot of build up from this point where they have been meeting up here and there by themselves, but you can clearly tell whenever they do they both hurt and yearn- which would lead to their proper makeup scene. I’m just inserting this for fun, but I’d imagine this would take place in an abandoned church in the town they’re camping in for the night. For a lot of symbolic reasons; devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, gathering. This along with the simple fact, Mizrak’s relationship to the church has changed completely from here. I’d like to think that even when he’s trying to rekindle that connection with God, it leaves that icky overcoat on his skin. 

“Faith is a company in the hardest of times, when the world abandons you.” Nocturne ep 3

The church indeed had saved him from whatever terrible horrific thing happened to him in the past, however whatever saved him can still be horrible and terrible too. It is infallible.  It is cruel in an attempt to gather community and peace. So, yes- faith can be company when the world abandoned him, but his faith is no longer with the church. He’s taking it back and finding some place else to rest it. (Olrox, it’s Olrox, probably ooc but I’m making it Olrox). 

In this church, the conversation between them will initially start as a discussion about religion, faith and that whole sort of deal. It’ll open up about Mizrak exact struggles from his mouth and how he particularly feels about it, then we get more insight onto Olrox’s thoughts, his perception of the church and perhaps even a deep dive into Aztec history again. Maybe even talk about Olrox’s Quetzalcoatl form, though really this is self indulgent. It’s an aspect I’d absolutely love to be explored and I think it being discussed in revere in a Catholic Church,  with Mizrak actually being open to it due to his new perspective? Oh my god, sign me up. Regardless, it would hold similar energy to episode 6: Gulity Men to be Judged. There’s a weight to it. 

Then it gets heavier when the conversation pivots.  

Mizrak’s attachment in the church was due to him caring about people and, hypothetically, to save him from whatever detriment came for him in the past. The last canon interaction, their falling out they had in season 1 was because he cared about others. To a fault. Now, here he is, standing in front of someone he cares about. It’s going to open a conversation between what’s happening between them and finally properly discuss what happened from their last canon interaction in nocturne season 1. 

A lot of finger and hand brushing from Olrox, which at first I’d think gets no reaction as an attempt for restraint before Mizrak warms up to it and even reciprocates by doing the same thing. All of this is very gentle in my opinion. It’s slow, tender, and most importantly vulnerable. It has the physical contact reminiscent of their first fast rough and tug in the courtyard and piggybacks off the vulnerability they both have when they both stand next to the window in episode 6. They probably also just physically get closer to each other at the moment. Just gradually though. The distance gets closer and closer until their foreheads are practically touching without them realizing it. They’re comfortable though, they don’t want to leave. 

They absolutely get to a point where they both admit to saying “I love you” without straight up saying “I love you” because that’s just a very them thing. Or maybe they do straight up state because Olrox does admit he was in love (with his partner) and doesn’t shy from that fact. It’s a nice conversion of the trope and great to hear from a mlm couple to say I love you… but man do I do love when characters get all poetic-y when their profess their devotion to each other by literally talking in prose, so maybe with good writing both can be done and still be quite powerful but still be gentle. 

In my interpretation YEAH I’LL MAKE THEM KISS AFTER THIS, this is my vision after all. Also, yeah they’re gonna fuck. In the church? Perhaps. Is it a tad OOC, maybe. HOWEVER, consider imagery and symbolism. I just think the image of it would be great, even if it was censored to hell and back, it can be so artistically done. Just imagine the implication alone with me for a second. I think the whole concept of doing it in a church is an interesting build upon the quotes from the show;

“God is not here. This church is an empty box.” From the first Castlevania series.

“House of God? This place is just a heap of bricks and stone.” From Nocturne said by Maria. 

The church is a husk, especially having it abandoned- it’s rather what you do with that box that makes all the difference. The people inside are the driving force, so I think it’s both poetic and funny to have Mizrak and Olrox fucking in an abandoned church. Surface level: fuck you god I’m fucking my hot vampire boyfriend in your house. Deeper level: I could write a whole thing on this but I’ll refrain. You can get the gist of breaking free of restraint, and devotion and letting himself be human, rather than a soldier (which he already slowly does). 

Though also this sex scene isn’t necessary, I just like exploring explicit content in artistic ways, especially if I can throw in religious symbols and heighten that hunger/devotion to a person- but the “I love you” in the church is pretty powerful already.  

Then after all of this they take it at their own pace. However, they only live life once and continue together like that- they both know this concept very well because of the very nature of who they are, so they spend it in each other’s company. 

Now you also get the squad’s reactions, well namely because I do not think this would be an easily hidden thing. Like absolutely could get away with it in season 1, but everyone will know something is up for sure in my iteration. The 'hypothetical' Mystery Animator season 2 iteration. As subtle as their longing stares and quiet hand touches may be reserved for just them- those little interactions are loud.

Richter would absolutely be in shambles over Olrox, the killer of his mother, and Mizrak being a thing. Both in a “this is the most horrible thing that’s happened in my life” and also a he’s going to be an absolute shithead to Mizrak and make fun of him, lightheartedly of course. Alucard would absolutely have an interesting perspective because again, his parents. Maria already has disdain for the church plus the “vampires are evil… and evil has to be fought.” However, in the presence of Alucard, I think a lot will change because he’s half-vampire. Annette, I’m unsure of what her reaction would be, because I’m very sure she’d be receptive to Alucard being a vampire and then would appreciate Olrox’s mindset and values. However, gonna keep hammering, Olrox killed Julia Belmont which I feel will be comedically hammered in if Olrox decides to hang around the squad occasionally. 

And with that, we’re done! (I think)

Thank you for reading 🫶 this probably will not happen in cv s2 but it’s fun blurting out my hc. I’m really excited to see what they do, and even perhaps even go in the opposite direction due to episode limitations… maybe a season 3 👀 who knows.

[straykits]

i'm sorry but i'm laughing sm at the eye glass deprived thing KKDKDKFFKJF and yep its me!! since i have another blog now for personal stuff i realized it would be better to change the name of the old one to something more fitting.

YES!! it always had been a pet peeve of mine like. you never once fought in your life but all of the sudden you're better than every single soldier (who have been training/fighting their whole life)?? yeah i guess you just special like that lol

and it did like the garden scene!! i think it males a lot of sense that he gets softer as he is alone with y/n!! like he had to keep this strong mask but then they're alone and he's like yep i would like to hold your hand perhaps?? maybe?? whatever 👉🏻👈🏻?? also did you say spoiler 👁️👁️?

and i get you. i particularly feel series are the hardest to write cos you gotta keep it consistent and sometimes thats very hard. but do it on your time and i'm sure it will be great!!

and about coming back... i have some stories i really really liked and always wanted to write but idk. i feel like i don't really know how to post on tumblr anymore (tho i miss it very much, esp the interactions). and idk if i should keep this blog or start a new, fresh one. good things thats what breaks are for kkkdkdkkd but about you, hows your life been?

mage minho??? a softie???? never ... 🥴🥴🥴 and also, i did say spoiler, but i dont want to actually spoil or risk spoilers so ehehe and yes, consistency is so hard vjnsdkvnjdsk like it might not be everyones problem but it sure is one of mine LMAO

hmm whatever you decide to do w ur blog/s and writing, i support you! even if that's choosing not to write. but like. i totally get the not knowing how to post after so long 😭😭😭

but ahh i've been okay, lifes been the same ig DJKSNVKDS kind of dreading going back to uni bc of course it's during my last few days of break that i start doing the things i've been wanting to do HAHA but also yeah just the dread of having new classes and new peers/tutors is vfhjvcns. i miss my old course bc we had the same tutors and same classmates every year (pros of a small cohort, though admittedly thats bc my old course didn't have different majors etc so everyone did the same thing HAHA)

but you!!! how have you been!! last we spoke i think you said you had quite a bit of work as well. i hope that all went smoothly!!

[freshpickle]

Vent post, trigger warning: $u1c1d@al

hii, just wanted to say i reaaally love your blog! :) i'll just vent here 'cause i saw u're ok with that. :D

ok so basically i've been diagnosed 2 years ago with depression, i was medicated for 1 year and the i just stopped going to my psychiatrist because i felt numb all the time (and i hated fhe feeling the pills gave me) but i got better anyway after a year. Howeveeer, this past summer i was finally able to go in no contact with "the reason" of my neverending sadness.🙄 And i feel like 1000% better now, but is there something no one talks about at the beggining of the healing proccess. The fact that you don't actually know who you are without your sadness. And I say this because even tho i was diagnosted just 2 years ago, i've been depressed for the last 10 years lol (like, fr, i tried to kms) and now with this ✨new will to live✨ it just feels weird. Because 10 i was 14, so i basically grew up being really sad all the time and now is just like??? What am I supposed to do haha.

Anyway, i am really doing well now, this summer in july i'll finish my degree (6 fkn years in this university really made me stronger haha) and i'm in a 5 years relationship with my bf and everything is going really well, but i can't help but feel weird about my self concept. Because I don't identify anymore with being sad, now i'm just me. But who am I really, you know? Because all the trauma is still unpacked and I still can't really fully enjoy life - sometimes i do think it's pointless anyway but i'll not do anything (kms) because i really don't wanna hurt the ppl around me. Is kinda sad the fact that i don't really wanna live because i want to, but because i feel responsible for how ppl whould feel if i'd be gone. From time to time i just try to enjoy/remind myself that life is worth living because i get to see more marvel movies, or eat a hazelnut donut (i really like those), or sometimes i feel like i should just stfu because it'll be a shame to die - i have a pretty face & body and i got pretty privilege a lot, isn't this the plot of all those 2000's movie? Pretty girls get a secretly sad life but then ✨the plot✨ happens and everything is ok? Lmao. Anyway, i feel like last summer was the plot and now i just get to enjoy life a little more - even tho i don't feel like doing it at all. And i feel a lil guilty because i have a good life (living in europe, good parents, good bf, a uni degree) like it seems like i'm doing "everything i'm supposed to do right" but i feel like ???? wanting to end it because of the years of abuse i went through. I really want to erase it all and live at peace with myself because at the end of the day is my mind vs my mind..

I'm sorry for this long ass text lol i did not thought i'd write this much, also i'm sorry if i've made mistakes english is my 3rd language so i'm not really good at expressing myself 🥲 you don't really have to answear i understand is a sensitive topic and not everyone wants do deal with stuff like this and it's 100% ok! 😊 i hope you have a nice rest of the week, and thank u for reading! ❤️

hey! thank you for venting!! i am always happy for people to vent in my ask box, I can't always promise to have advice, but i'm always more than happy to chat if people need someone to talk to!

congratulations on what sounds like so many incredible things going on in your life! i completely relate to that feeling of there being this chunk of your psyche that can't make sense of happiness because you've been in flight or flight to survive for so many of your formative years!

i really struggle with suicide and depression and i also battle the feeling of disappointing my family and friends if i was to act on any of those feelings. somedays its the hardest feeling to live for the big things and i find it helpful to focus on the little things instead.

i know you sent me this to rant so i don't want to give you any unsolicited advice, i'm just happy you feel safe to talk to me and if you ever do want advice, or want to rant some more, i'm here for you <3

[rrxnjun]

this is yet again going to be a long one maybe but i'm not going to say sorry😎 AND I LOVE U FOR TEXTING ME!! and coming off anon just so i can add the screenie lmao so another liebestraum anon reveal

the first one i just screenshoted cuz what in the world about the cookies and cream‼️ and the second one is just so☹️ i just really love it spoke to me on a personal level☹️☹️

TO STAY ON BRAND LMAO no but fruity ice creams slap and not going to lie to u i dont like chocolate ice cream .-.

I LOVE FALL BUT IM SCARED OF SEPTEMBER SO IM CHILLING WITH SUMMER RN EVEN THOUGH ITS MY LEAST FAV SEASON ITS FALL WEATHER RN ANYWAYS HAHA and thank u thank u again ur fics kept me sane so couldn't have done it without u ily💘💖 I WILL NEVER STOP BEING SAPPY!!!

i finished reading it around 3-3:30 am lmao i looked at the clock at like one am and i jjst said okay one more part and i just kept doing that till i finished the fic💀 but it was worth it kept thinking about the whole day!! i went to the park with my neighbors and somehow we talked about learning to drive and the whole time my brain just went oh haechan of the fic oh it was amazing lmao

GOT A WHOLE SPREADSHEET READY FOR COUNTING I TOOK IT AS A SERIOUS MATTER!! and i can't believe i was right crazy i thought i definitely missed some THANK U FOR THE PRIZE I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT SUNWOO PIC THO SCREAMING CRYING STILL !BEST PRIZE THANK U!

that happening irl some people have pretty interesting lives🫡 UR HAIR WONT GET MESSED UP IT WONT BE U DONT MANIFEST THE BAD VIBES DUDE!! i read hon and i just knew i had to mention it BUT I THOUGHT U USED IT INTENTIONALLY LMAO and can't argue with that it was deserved but can't let my man have false accusations going around even if he is crazy delusional and did what he did i have to protect his name🫡

OMG OMG WE GET A CSENKE REVEAL ON HERE AS WELL !!!! THE GROWTH !!!!!!! i was about to text u like hey girlie u forgot the anon button again but then i saw it was intentional and went :,)

i am with yn on this one cookies and cream needs to die like i HATE that flavor with a burning passion TT and the second one- ☹ see i wrote that for myself. u can see the jump from me being fine to being depressed to being fine again in that fic and HAHA and that part was just me reminding myself and assuring myself hhh i am glad it spoke to you <33

YOU DONT LIKE CJOCOLATE ICE CRWAM ???? BUT ITS A CLASSIC ???????!?!!! Our friendship might be ending right here and now ngl......

AAAH i get you !! especially since youre starting uni so it can get very scary but i promise u its gonna be all okay and exciting !! (Like if i ignore the homesickness and stress i felt last year, starting uni felt very new and exciting and i enjoyed it)). i cant wait for school to start ngl im so bored rn i need the routine 😭😭😭😭😭 also its so weird how this summer was summer for like.... a month....? and then it got cold again ??? like im not complaining since i like the colder weather but i didnt have a chance to go swimming this year so im ☹ and ily ily ily you keep me sane every day so im glad i was able to do the same

3??? AS IN THREEEEE AM ???? girl youre crazy no person should stay up so late to read my fic. but thats such an honor i- ☹☹ thank you <33 AHAHA i am glad u got reminded of my fic SHSJSJ but also same sometimes i drive and i get reminded of my own fic its crazy

A SPREADSHEET IM CRYING i kept a tally for each member. I lowkey forgot i mentioned them this much at the start i got surprised at seeing their names there 😭😭 but i am happy u enjoyed your prize ❤ special just for you

WE MANIFESTED WELL ALTHO NOT QUITE ENOUGH :((( i mean- it slipped out by itself THE PETNAME IS ROTTING MY BRAIN. its like sweetie? baby? babe? no. hon. why? my man uses it 🥰🥰🥰 also i cant believe u can still defend your man after all of that....unbelievable

[justkeepdancing-nemo]

Failing Nemo || Romo Texts

Summary: On the last week of the term, the stress from uni becomes too much for Nemo.

Part One of Finding Nemo: Uni Arc

tw: anxiety, depression

DECEMBER 13

Nemo Bae

hey heeeeeey hi what r u doing rn are u studying? [deleted] pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [deleted] im losing my mind haha

Robbie

Hey Yeah, I'm studying for my anatomy final which is kind of boring but I swear they added more parts to the human body since I last learned this Nemo Bae

ahahh there are like a tonne of bones thats so weird tho ur a vet student shouldnt u learn about animal parts

Robbie

I think that comes next when I get into more specialized stuff ugh so many bones though you're right how are you though

Nemo Bae

missing youuuu come hang out with me

Robbie

How is studying for finals going? Last time I came to see you we didn't study at all. I failed you

Nemo Bae

thats bc i dont wanna study lol its pointless but hanging out with uuuu isnt

Robbie

Studying isn't pointless Why do you think it's pointless

Nemo Bae

i just cant do it lol i try and i cant pay attention and my back always hurts too much to like sit in one place but if i lay down i fall asleep bc its so boring my grades suck anyway

Robbie

aw that's probably not true I'm sure your grades don't suck I could come over and help you for real this time I can quiz you and stuff

Nemo Bae

they do robbie im not smart like you. i cant write like you. my grades are really bad and ive gotten incompletes in my fellows class because i havent even turned in stuff

Robbie

Hey you're smart don't say that

Nemo Bae

but its true im not smart okay im not cut out for this i dunno i feel like it was just a mistake and im gonna fail anyway so

Robbie

like going to school was a mistake? Nemo you're smart and you can do it. I know you can. You just have to keep trying. it sounds like you're giving up

Nemo Bae

yeah i am ahah ive TRIED ok i keep trying to study for my finals and i cant do it  i tried all semester but all i did was hurt myself so i couldnt even dance i have to write final papers in my ballet and contemporary classes now thats two more papers im just gonna go back to the hollow

Robbie

Nemo I can help okay it's not the end of the world and it's going to be fine

Nemo Bae

no its not you dont get it because tis easy for you

Robbie

it's not easy I still have to study like everyone else That's just how school is And if it looks easy it's because I had a lot of years to learn a lot of things But those were years where I had to try and study hard and put in the effort it doesn't just happen for me

Nemo Bae

well i shouldnt distract you from studying then

Robbie

Nemo

Nemo Bae

what? thats what you're saying you say you gotta study and all im doing is getting in your way you dont have time to help me anyway esp when it doesnt matter and its too late Robbie

We can talk about it more don't just pull away. That's not what I'm saying it's not too late we can work on it together

Nemo Bae

and then when i fail anyway????

Robbie

then you pick yourself up and try again You can replace those grades if you really think you're going to fail You can retake the class

Nemo Bae

i dont want to. i DONT. its too much and too stressful theres a reason not a lot of fairies go to uni esp not from a hollow im so tired of sucking this much

Robbie

You don't suck

Nemo Bae

how would u even know how much i suck robbie youre not in my classes do u want me to send u pics of all my shitty papers lol then youll realize im a lost cause

Robbie

I will never think you are a lost cause

Nemo Bae

i dont even see why we're arguing about this its not even your business

Robbie

Oh its not? im not supposed to care?

Nemo Bae

i just dont see why you do this much

Robbie

You don't see why I care about you and your life this much

Nemo Bae

i dont see why you care about whether or not i go to school if you cared about me then youd say ok nemo i love you but apparently i have to be a freaking genius for you too

Robbie

Because you wanted to go to school? Because you want to take all those dance classes?

Nemo Bae

but i was wrong okay? and it sucks and i spent my appa's money and he's gonna be disappointed in me and clearly you're disappointed in me

Robbie

im not disappointed I just think you're being too hard on yourself

Nemo Bae

i feel like quitting is actually finally letting myself chill but ok

Robbie

im just afraid you'd regret it and I really don't think it's as much of a lost cause as you think it is But I can butt out I guess im sorry

Nemo Bae

its my fault its fine i'll let you get back to studying [deleted] this conversation felt really bad, im sorry i was.. i didnt mean to make it sound [deleted] maybe we can try it, you helping me deleted] im sorry, robbie

Robbie

Yeah, if you wanna talk later just text me

Nemo Bae

okay

DECEMBER 13, SEVERAL HOURS LATER 

Robbie

hey i just wanted to check and see how you are doing and say i'm sorry for upsetting you

Nemo Bae

 you really dont have to apologize. im the one. i know i lashed out at you and took a lot of my frustration and stress out on you and im really sorry about that. i shouldnt have said a lot of the things i said. i know youre just caring about me. im feeling a little better now though

Robbie

That's good! If you want me to come over I can. I want to see you

Nemo Bae

oh im actually uh i kinda left lol i'll be back in a couple of days though! i wanna see you then

Robbie

You left?

Nemo Bae

yeah i think i needed to get out and clear my head and i already feel a lot better

Robbie

Oh okay that makes sense. Did you go to the hollow

Nemo Bae

no im going camping with tae

Robbie

camping?

Nemo Bae

yeah there's this campsite we went to in the summer its got little cabins too tho we might just sleep in the car

Robbie

aren't your finals and stuff...are you gonna miss them?

Nemo Bae

probably? i told you though, im gonna fail anyway and seriously as soon as i decided to go it was like a huge weight off my shoulders i'll work on my papers maybe a little while im gone idk

Robbie

okay I love you be safe please

Nemo Bae

we will! i love you too robbie i really do wanna talk when i get back

Robbie

ill be here

[yostresswritinggirl]

Did not just come back to see mother threatening on locking us up in a study room… but jokes on you I already did 💀 Haven't left my dorm room since saturday (except to get food and to use the bathroom)

Anyways I didn't realized the last ask sounded that mean cause thats generally how my uni works (ya know looking back maybe my uni really is the akademiya irl, they legit make us write 3 thesis papers, 1 for our major subjects and 2 for minor subjects 💀) But mother dont we love hurting characters in the most painful way here?

But it's nice to know i'm not the only one whose hyperfixated on Al Ahmar and the Goddess of flowers, I'd love to fully share my brain rots but my schedule is so tight that it's tighter than my hold on my will to live /j

Anyways it's heavily influenced by "Shoujo rei" (love this song sm) like some of the lyrics just hit hard especially if you go down the "friends/lovers where one commits unalive and the other soon follows after their death." For the goddess of flowers and al ahmar, i imagine before the goddess of flowers could reciprocate the scarlet kings feelings she decides to sacrifice herself during the accident

(Since theres little known details i just winged it so might not be 100% accurate, also doesn't take into account that the goddess of flowers may be the only survivor of the seeles, but if she is the angst would be so immaculate.)

- Lady in the lake anon

(P.S I just remembered, for those who like heart!cyno and heart!reader, i suggest you look into asra's route from the arcana, to avoid spoilers i wont say much other than its a 10/10 espeially if you were to play the route itself, might not be everyones cup of tea tho)

Since Saturday?! My child, are you getting sunlight, fresh air, some grass?!?! Make sure to immerse yourself in a healthy environment too, just to liven up your surroundings and alleviate some of the mental stress

I also get the uni part of the bombardment of major requirements, gosh it was so terrible I took a year's break from this blog you have no idea, but it's probably because of our uni's freedom ideals that I wasn't exposed to the mean students trope haha we do we do but not ALL the time!!

You make it sound like Romeo and Juliet than anything haha but man, their love story is actually my favorite and still the most heartbreaking. Still don't know what happened to her (she might even be alive, can't be too sure) but with my heavy grip on the seelie theory, the tragic fact that the feelings will never be requited makes it even better honestly. Actually wait I can't talk much cuz I am going to use this for my Harbinger fic ahshshaj

But it's very nice to see you again, lady in the lake anon, please take care!

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️

[binniesthighs]

miss ro!!! ur jeongin fic was so cute that letter with all the misspellings made me cackle low-key - really can imagine 바보 빵 (fool bread(?) not sure how they render that nickname in english for him) writing it 😭 him and mc were so cute no lie

so like i swear dpr ian used to have a soundcloud that i would listen to but for some reason i can’t track down the stuff anymore ?? but equally maybe i’m getting confused bc i listen to a lot of k-artists on soundcloud (i remember the day i discovered got7 jb’s music on there and completely lost my shit lmao but that’s a diff story) i’m honestly such a sucker for soundcloud artists why am i like this 💀💀 but he literally dropped off the grid apart from his insta after his idol group disbanded and his spotify is basically empty apart from zombie pop (which is p cute it’s in the dpr archives album) and his new album. i honestly love all the tracks on it bc have been listening to the singles since they dropped but nerves and scaredy cat are my faves i think of the new ones?? i low-key suck at song recs lmao bc usually I just queue the entire album start to finish / listen to ppl’s curated spotify playlists for like kr&b/indie&chill etc while i’m doing work so i usually hear stuff i like but don’t know the titles ?? last year i was heavy obsessed with dpr live’s album tho “is anybody out there” and also ph-1’s 2019 album “halo” is still one of my faves. i can try and dig through and find specific songs i saved tho if u want!

also i’m watching the making of the album documentary now and it’s honestly spectacular (and only 13mins it needs to be longer 😭😭😭) - he goes into the back story of each song and talks about his life too and there’s clips of him filming the MVs and laying down the tracks. it’s low-key getting me v emotional especially when he was talking about dope lovers and how he had some p bad relationships bc he tends to push ppl away when he’s going thru stuff and he was recording the lyric “it was all for a kiss” and then he said “was it for a kiss or was it from a kiss because honestly, i think a lot of shit happens after the kiss” and ooft that hurttttt

british insults are honestly the best - i love them bc they’re like super snarky/get to the point but they’re not actually like properly derogatory names? like i rly get uncomfy when ppl properly swear at someone even if I like hate them with a burning passion lmaoooo

omg snow day??? we haven’t had snow for a while now :(( my friend lives in mass tho and she said it was snowing yesterday too i’m jel :(( i thrive in the night too lmao but man my insomnia’s been kicking my ass lately 🥲🥲 i deadass live my life like chan and i rly thought this would stop after uni but i guess it’s just my state of being 😭😭

i love reading ur replies they rly brighten my day 🥺🥺 i get a bit in my head sometimes lmao gotta love that anxiety/depression mix 🤪🤪 and rly worry i’m being annoying/ saying too much / blocking up ur feed for other readers also 🥲🥲 i hope other ppl aren’t getting annoyed by how long my asks are 🥺🥺 mayb one day i’ll reveal myself n we can just msg instead or sth idk 😭😭

n e ways i’m gonna dip now but i hope you have a good day/night/week too, miss ro!! my life is spiralling low-key so might be gone for a bit but in the meantime i hope things go well for u!! and do lemme know what u think of MITO !! (and honestly check out the making doc if u have time!!) -😖

😖 awe heck, my responses make your day? 🥺 that makes me so so happy!! i know how ya feel, I tend to have hot and cold weeks, and my writing is what tends to keep it at bay :) as well as talking to all you cuties! You don’t annoy me at all sweets!! however ya feel like talking is fine with me!! ;) also don’t ya worry about dipping either! life gets crazy and I totally get ya! <3 

more under the cut! 

also thank you so much about my new jeongin fic!! writing his lil letter was my favorite part actually hahahah i was trying to channel my inner awkward teen boy for that one LOLLL to suit his character being super sweet and loveable and a lil shy on the side I knew that he would make some cute lil mistakes hehe 

I’ll def listen to your recs!! I really need to listen to more kr&b tho! I have like two or three playlists that i listen to allll the time and am in dire need of new music haha the other week I discovered Kali Uchis’ new album and that’s been on repeat for me like crazyyyy recently FRICK its so good haha so that is my recommendation hehe 

That sounds like a really interesting documentary tho!! I actually really like music documentaries! hahah I watch them with my dad sometimes about classic rock artists etc. it super cool to me to hear about everything that goes into an album as well as the creative process behind it too! like when skz do their little interviews and stuff before an album releases I lovvve that haha for the same reason I love hearing about why authors write what they did too! gahhh i’m ramblin but the creative process is so cool to me! I’d love to check it out! 

whats funny abt swearing is that (oddly) even at nearly 21 years of age I am still not allowed to swear around my parents hahaha but when I’m not around them??? i will say anything and everything lolll but never at people like ya said haha i remeber a while ago I heard “bucket of fucks” and I thought that was pretty funny haha, also yay for snow days!! its funny bc I’m currently not in the state where I go to school so the weather was just fine here but there was like two feet of snow on the actual campus haha i heard that the students got together to have a snowball fight on our soccer fields (i just hope they were safe ooP) 

[yyxgin]

meteor garden is so problematic honestly my favourite part was when there was a meteor shower for 10 whole seconds somewhere mid 20’s episode. i forgot to mention she HAS a job she just like never went (on camera at least) she goes to uni that’s why she’s so broke too. it’s typical rich family pays off poor girl to leave her son alone but son is the one chasing the girl 🤡

HAJSJSKSKAKKA i got so much stuff from that album i didn’t realise how much i really got until i got a different album and i was like,, okay. i got a chan pc, double sided han pc, minho pc, changbin polaroid pc, changbin & minho film strip and a kind of pop out thing? of i.n. there’s an ot7 thing too but i figured everyone got that.

i recently watched... uh... into the dark? and it was in french and i didn’t even realise i wasn’t reading the subtitles i was like ~woah~

if you don’t mind me asking ~ what’s your part time job? only bc we can make conversation about it!! also i freaked out at my last job bc i thought i’d put down my details wrong as a lady at hq rang me to tell me they were having problems paying me 😰 i think the computer might’ve read my numbers wrong bc i write in cursive but like... i write more... how do i say... comic sans? for formal docs bc the computer can read my handwriting and people can read it too T-T we used to get told for exams to write really neatly bc if the examiners can’t read it they don’t mark it and we work solely off of essay writing here (or short answers no multiple choice bs) so i worried that i’d get stuck w the one examiner who couldn’t read my writing but the boy who’s handwriting looks like a spider ran across his book gets someone who can read it perfectly fine 😓 my ultimate fear tbh. i love the extra flourish i can add to envelopes just by writing all fancy-like.

YES YOLO!! i’m a libra so i’m the worst at decision making so when i do it’s impulsive and i have to say things like yolo to justify myself and then i’m gucci for the day.

yuta makes me so 😳🥵🤪😚😳😍🥵🤪 for every reason. i have a weakness for japanese men... my mind just goes into overdrive and i short circuit,, i’m afraid of watching shotaro content bc he’s just so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and do i dare risk it?

personally, i enjoy russian roulette by rv but that’s very, pop-y of them. i like b sides by them more bc they carry a different sound to them. ice cream cake is good. and future!!! i like future bc i watched start-up tho 🤩 ladies night is a fun one and if i remember correctly time slip was good? i have a massive playlist with loads of artists so i need a refresher on rv as got7 and simon dominic have been in heavy rotation recently 😬

what did you do today? how did your interview go? (or am i too early?) wait i think i asked about it earlier oops 🙊 lots of love and positivity being sent your way ~ 🌻

and stop apologising about replying to asks late!!! 😐 i deliberately send asks bc you can take your time over them!! i really don’t mind how long you take!!!!!!!!!!!! 😙 ~ 🌻

ITS OFFICIAL I LOVE METEOR GARDEN DJSJSJ

you have like,,,,so much stuff ??? i wanna steal ????? i would literally do anything for that minho pc😔💔 i think the moment i buy my first album im literally gonna freak out from whoever i get 😩✋

i dont mind u asking !! my part time job is like,, working in this one shop called pepco, idk if you guys have it there lol. its like working behind the cash register and also helping with like,,restocking the shelves and stuff. i'm starting in june hhh lets hope i make some friends as well bc that lady said there are a few girls in my age starting at the same time so we can only hope haha. also i totally get you,,my handwriting changes like every year bc i get an identity crisis and change it lmaoo but people always tell me its really messy and sometimes unreadable😔

YOU ARE A LIBRA ?? I AM IN LOVE W YOU my moon is in libra so decision making isnt my best quality either but the aries sun in me just says fuck it 90% of the time so i'm good.

SHOTARO IS THE LOML HE IS SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺 but also his predebut tiktoks,,,,,much thoughts. yes. his instagram is the best thing that's ever happened to me, like yes get it king 😩

oooh i love russian rulette !! 🤩🤩 i am also a fan of ice cream cake but i dont know the other ones you mentioned, i'll have to give them a listen 😎

i didnt reply yesterday because i was out the whole day with my best friend and when i came home i had a glass of wine and got really sleepy💔and today i just cleaned my room and i'm about to water my plants lets hope i dont forget after finishing this reply,,,my interview went good hhh thanks !!! how has your day been ? ❤

sending u love !! <3

[1-800-i-ship-it]

rose-coloured goggles: what’s one risk you took that ended up being completely worth it? | grin: what was the last thing that made you smile - really smile? | cookies: chocolate chip or blueberry?

thanks for the ask resiot! 

 im answering rose-coloured goggles last and out of order bc i rambled way too much xD

grin: does this count? also when i saw this ask and a) noted that u asked it almost immediately after i rb-ed and b) saw you asked this question i did grin too hehe :D 

cookies: that is such a hard question xD i think im going with chocolate chip bc i could eat that stuff for days on end haha its so goooood dammit i want a cookie now 

have a virtual cookie too resiot 🍪(lactose-free) 

rose-coloured goggles: uhh hmmm putting myself out there for a series of social events at a club at my uni that i wasnt sure if i should commit to but i was like well why not make some new friends and though zoom speed dating was  pretty daunting and my heart was pounding throughout the awkward social interactions, it was worth it cause i did get to meet some new people and get a  “big” plus a “sib”! it wasn’t rushing or anything close to that level of commitment (that stuff is scary ahaha) but it was like a big/little event just for the club, and even though i felt like i embarassed myself a lot (rip)  im glad i did it and stepped out of my comfort zone; also i realize i still dont really have a “completely worth it moment” yet so heres another story if u wanna hear more rambling:

idk if this counts as a risk, but i was about to go to a travel swim meet (6th grade i think?) and my friend literally just told me that she wasnt going after she promised me she would and she was the only friend i had who i knew was going so naturally i was like omg ahhhh like who am i going to hang out with?? how to social?? and then i didnt want to go anymore bc i was too scared but its not like i could back out bc my parents already paid for it plus i already signed up for events and my coach was expecting me to be there, so i went. 

the morning of, my mom was dropping me off at the bus but i didnt have anyone to sit with and i was too scared to ask anyone so my mom was like, hey that girl looks like she’s alone, want to ask her to sit with you? and lemme tell u my little heart was pounding so hard bc even tho im shy now i was a lot shyer before so i was like omg what if she says no what if she says no what if she judges me and! she said yes! and we hung out together at the meet sometimes (i was still too shy so uh i turned down her offers of me joining her and other ppl bc those were,,,fast swimmers and i was intimidated so i just played games on a tablet i was actually able to borrow for once on a trip bc my parents knew my friend ditched me and i didnt know anyone OTL)  

fast forward like 1 year later we’re in the same swim group (also we went to the same middle + high school), and we become super close friends! still are to this day, and i am super glad i met her <3

...haha thanks for reading through all that 😅also i hope u enjoyed the drunk squirrel if u clicked on the link hehe

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Teeth Marks, Empty Nest, Picking Ritual | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote a Moth Work writing update, and so here we are again for the final countdown! Today’s post will be covering everything related to chapter 12, 13, and 14. Let’s start with Teeth Marks, which I wrote probably sometime in February.

Teeth Marks marks the third part of Moth Work, called Wings, and the first chapter back in Harrison’s POV. I honestly can’t remember much of the writing process as it’s been a while, so let’s dive straight into the scene breakdown!

Scene A: 

We start in the doorway of Eliza’s apartment where Harrison stands shook because a) his boi Lonan has answered it (scandal) and his mother, who he has been estranged from for the last four years, is also in this apartment (EXTRA scandal). Eliza ushers Harrison inside (and this is probably the only *nice* interaction they ever have, spoiler alert!)

Harrison is very shook, and also a little angry, and also a little confused! He doesn’t know why his mother is here, and doesn't understand why Lonan wouldn’t contact him to tell him she is here.

Him and Eliza get into a bit of a scuffle where Eliza is protective of Lonan and is like “who are you mate” and Harrison’s like hahahHA pardON. This leads to Lonan kicking them both out even tho this ain’t even his house!

Scene B:

We now move to the stairwell right outside Eliza’s apartment where she and Harrison have been sitting in awkward silence! Harrison notices she’s wearing his guardian angel necklace (which Lonan mistakenly took back in chapter 6).

This scene is instrumental in setting up how these two interact, which in short, is not! fun! for! either! They try to be civil but can’t help but be protective over Lonan for different reasons. Eliza because they are now sort of in a relationship, and Harrison because hahaha he’s been there, and also because Eliza is Lonan’s father’s ex! Why!

Lonan interrupts this conversation and him and Harrison have a lil private moment even tho Eliza is standing right there aahaha. Eliza leaves which prompts Lonan to go after her, and we end with Harrison all alone in the stairwell like a proper sad boi.

Excerpts:

I previously wrote some mean things about this chapter and am editing it out cuz we tryna be positive! Here’s some tender romance because why not! For context, Harrison has asked Eliza how much she knows about the nature of the boys’ relationship (she knows nothing!!)

He could tell her the truth. About the polaroids left back in Boston. What it felt like to kiss him underwater. What it felt like to dance with him, his clumsy instep. What it felt like to trace each notch of his ribs in the off moments he’d sleep and how wonderful it was, to touch the places his hunger would go. 

Some more romance because yesss:

He pretends they’re alone at the cabin, somewhere on the water, sharing a sleeve of crackers, looking at the moon like it’s the other’s iris, somewhere where constellations read less like hieroglyphics and more like sonnets. 

Let us move onto chapter 13, Empty Nest!

Scene A:

Harrison sits alone at the dinner table watching a TV show in a language he doesn’t speak. His mother interrupts this *chillin* and they get into a heated conversation.

This ends badly for Harrison, to which Lonan (who is presumably arguing with Eliza in her bedroom) comforts him and yeets the two of them outta that apartment! Knight in shining armour babyyyy

Scene B:

Lonan takes Harrison to chapter nine’s beautiful place (the cove).

They chat about their (fallen) relationship and Lonan + Eliza’s relationship that is apparently now flourishing (hahah it actually isn’t)

This turns romantical very fast!!! I am guilty of self-indulgence!!

Excerpts:

EDIT: I originally had an edit in here saying I didn’t have the mental spoons to edit this chapter which is why I wouldn’t share a lot of excerpts! This was very true haha, as I was amidst the worst mental health week I’ve had in years, but guess! who! tried! to! edit! anyway! This obviously was not the best idea and I pushed myself too hard. This led to me doing some crying and beyond that, a decision to take a few days off of writing (despite the fact that I didn’t want to). I’m feeling great now which I’m so grateful for, but just a note! Anyhow!!

This excerpt makes me laugh because it gives me “lonely man sitting on his porch in the prairies” vibe:

No one eats together. Lonan and Suzanna have already taken their pick, and Eliza eats in her room. Harrison hasn’t seen Lonan since he followed Eliza’s empty trail back into the apartment, and he hears him now, between the drone of infomercials and advertisements on the Spanish TV station he doesn’t even understand. Coming from her room, he can picture him, the way Lonan argues, competitive like he’s trying to win something. Suzanna sits on the balcony, maybe hiding a smoke, or something more ridiculous, new age, like an essential oil pen. Ribbons of grey luminescing in the neon lights. Maybe it’s more accurate to say Harrison eats alone. 

This is the excerpt that I had a breakdown editing lmaooo I think it’s cute tho!!

Somewhere better is a beach. Hidden in a cove, the stones arched over seafoam. In the moonlight, sand glitters, water trills, a night owl in the distance wails. Lonan leads him to the cove’s heart, a bullet of clearing that reveals constellations neither recognize. Lonan’s brought a basket with him, unfolds the checked blanket across the shore. Harrison sits first, and observes as Lonan travels the cove’s perimeter, collecting driftwood as he goes. He stacks them into a pyramid at the shore’s lip, pulls out a lighter.

He starts the fire easily, cups the flame like it’s a jittering organism, coaxes it until it expands. The flame tints his jaw gold, glares in his eyes so they look like blue fire. The night halos around ­Lonan, burnishes the cove walls, turns the sand into a mirage. As Lonan nurses the fire, Harrison traces his face, the violet impasto around his eye. Lonan has always looked like a masterpiece to him, damp black hair that almost looks navy blue, a smile so subtle, it’s almost acquired. He holds the fire so it toasts his chin, his focus a delicate, paternal thing.

Picking Ritual is chapter 14 of the book! I wrote this during reading break, and it’s one of my faves a) because of the title and b) because Harrison and Eliza FIGHT (I’m here for the tea).

Scene A:

Lonan and Harrison get back from their self-care-gone-romantical escapade to drunk Eliza creepily sitting in the dark!! Harrison’s mother has left, which Eliza uses as cruel ammo (don’t we love her)!

This is where we really get to see Eliza’s other side as she gets gaslighty as a response to Harrison’s very true callouts

Scene B:

Later, Eliza may or may not purposefully leave her bedroom door open while mildly unholy matters occur that’s all I’m gonna say about that!!!

Scene C:

Eliza leaves her room to “get some orange juice” (she’s trying to get a rise out of Harrison, which works). They roast each other endlessly until Harrison asks her to play a game with him.

Scene D:

This game is a game of cards, which is actually Harrison choosing four cards (king of spades = Lonan’s father, queen of hearts = Eliza, the joker = Lonan, and a jack = Harrison) so he can learn more about each one he chooses for her.

This is where the chapter title comes from!

Excerpts:

The following is a self-roast because my house does all the following (besides magnets on ALL four corners of dishcloths, there’s currently just one. ;) Lonan in this scene is Fiona in that scene in Shrek 2 where Shrek and King Harold are arguing over dinner (CW: there’s a description here that could be potentially triggering for self-harm!).

Suzanna is gone when they get back to Eliza’s apartment. No jacket on the coat hook. No shoes on Eliza’s straw-woven welcome mat. The kitchen has been picked over, each plate, fork, back in its strangely correct place. Eliza keeps her cutlery in jars, and her pans in the oven, her dish cloths magnetted to the fridge by all four corners, a pristineness that feels chemical.

Just as he’s about to comment on it, a light from the living area flicks on, and underneath sits Eliza, paging through a book in the dark. Spots like wine stains on her cheeks shine glassy under the harsh lightbulb.

“She has a place twenty minutes from here. By the public gardens,” she says, running her fingernail against the ribbed spine of the hardcover. Harrison can’t make out the title. When he stares blankly at her, examining the patches on her skin until he’s memorized of their surface area, she clears her throat and shuts the book. “Your mother?”

“I know,” he says.

“That your mother has a place twenty minutes from here?”

“That you were referring to my mother.”

“So you didn’t know?”

ugh I love Harrison and Eliza arguing it’s my fave dynamic:

Eliza stands, and smooths the silk of her night dress, though one crease continues to bunch. She folds her hand into a fist, and brings it to her mouth, biting on her knuckles as she paces. Harrison and Lonan watch her, and Lonan’s about to step toward her when she nods and directs her gaze straight at Harrison. “Did that upset you?” she asks, peeling a sliver of skin up between her teeth, letting it snap back. “The way I spoke of your mother.”

“I don’t care about anything you have to say.”

Oof oof tensions be RISING:

Lonan knocks on Eliza’s door a half hour later and doesn’t come back out. Harrison watches the shut door like he can break through it from the couch, how heavy it sits in its frame like they’ve taken turns smearing caulking in its seams.

The nightglow decolours his chin, his eyes, and he stares at the stars as he did an hour ago with Lonan. He touches his lips, hoping something divine will reappear on his fingers, something divine enough to anoint himself with. Nothing does, of course, but he tries, dappling each groove of his mouth. 

Here’s some Eliza being Eliza :)

He should tell her to buy some curtains. The sliding door’s glass opens to her balcony where his mother stood, pouring onto the busy street below her apartment complex. He can almost perfectly replicate the image of his mother with just his fingertip, a familiarity of her unknown, but unconsciously memorized by him. Suzanna has traded her only pair of shoes—a dingy set of floral flip-flops—for boots with silver zippers, steel toes, heels perfected by a designer she has a connection to. He thinks of his mother with sour precision, a sugary glumness that makes his mouth heavy.

He still wears the angel Lonan re-fastened around his neck and examines it against the belly of the two-seater Lonan once slept on.

She’s lost a stone from where he threw it, almost unnoticeably in the corner where her wings meet her back. He runs his finger over the empty spot, a nearly undetectable groove, and wonders how difficult it would be to find it in the tooth of Eliza’s hardwood.

Just as he’s prepared to get up and find out, the heavy door jars open. Wider than he’s expecting, so he can see Lonan from the couch. Arranged against a pillow, his hair disappearing into the dark wood of Eliza’s bedhead. His eyes closed, a tremor that rocks through his forehead every few seconds. And then quickly, Eliza shuffling through the opening. She wears a kimono patterned with koi fish, the fabric rustling against her bare thighs as she enters the kitchen.

Harrison watches her through his eyelashes, her half-up hairdo falling toward her face, the flash of skin pale, like the peel of the moon.

She grabs a glass he washed and fills it from the sink. Once a bulb forms across the surface, she tips it to her lips, and swallows deliberately.

Harrison watches as she checks the sink for unwashed dishes she knows aren’t there. As she adjusts a placement on her table that doesn’t need adjusting. As she spins herself on her toes around the kitchen island, her kimono splaying so he sees flashes of her thighs again. She dances like this back to her bedroom, where she sets her water glass on the dresser, and keeps the door wide open. 

I can’t not share this part I apologize there is some spice but also Harrison’s iconic Gay (TM) takedown at the end brings me so much joy:

Eliza exits the room a half hour later, except this time, doesn’t dance. Still, she steps carefully, her toes taut as she patters against the floorboards. Harrison watches her with his arms crossed, and stays like that, even when they make eye contact.

She startles and re-adjusts her kimono, so the clip of her skin disappears. She’s combed her hair since she and Lonan finished, and it sits gauzy over her forehead.

“Have you ever thought of buying a deadbolt?” he says, watching carefully as she turns and grabs a glass from a cabinet.

The refrigerator thrills when she opens it, a wash of gaudy tungsten yellowing her face. She sucks on her lip as she pulls out a bottle of orange juice, glugging a cupful into her mouth first, and then into a glass. 

“A deadbolt,” she says, a lightness in her voice—false innocence. “Why?”

“I’ve heard good things. Security. Privacy. You live alone, don’t you?”

She juts the orange juice to her lip fast, her chin bucking like she’s taking a shot. “I do.”

“You’re planning on keeping it that way?”

Eliza drains the last of the orange juice and rests the glass in the sink. She flicks on the tap so a stream splashes into its mouth like somersaults, diluting the juice until the glass cleans.

“There must be someone,” Harrison elaborates. He shifts, so his legs hang off the couch’s edge. The hardwood is cold, and for a moment, he feels like he’s stepping on water. “You’re seeing people, aren’t you? You live in Las Vegas. Good job. Decent apartment.”

Eliza shakes off the wet glass and sets it on the drying rack. “Are you interested?”

“I’m gay, but thanks. How does that work, anyway? Dating you. Would I send in an application? Self-addressed stamped envelope and all? Email?”

ugh more iconic Harrison I love him:

Harrison’s eyes focus on the lip balm and he imagines Lonan putting it there, his finger moving across her mouth and then down, like an anointment. “Isn’t that such a coincidence, then? You’re so selective, yet you manage to date two members of the same family.”

Her smile fades. Eliza clucks her tongue and wipes her mouth quickly with the back of her hand. Thoughtlessly, she refills the clean glass with more orange juice, and only realizes her mistake after the liquid sits precisely at the rim of the cup.

“Shit,” she says, wringing her hand out. “Shit.”

“I’ll drink it,” he says, and is already up and at the kitchen island before she puts another hand on the glass. Eliza almost scowls, but chews on her gums when she catches herself. She slides the glass across the granite, and a blip of orange juice jitters onto the surface. Harrison dabs his pinky in it and sucks it into his mouth. “I want to ask you a favour.”

“I’m not doing anything for you.”

He puts a hand against the fridge before she can move past him, and Eliza sighs, weaves her arms haughtily over her chest. “Cards.” The fridge rumbles to life under his fingertips, and Eliza jumps. “Play a game with me,” he says.

Sharing because of Harrison’s roast at the end, it’s really just one of those days:

Eliza’s a good shuffler. Easily, she dices the cards, the hard split of their edges when he usually shuffles almost non-existent. He’s only ever met one other person who can shuffle like her—his mother.

Harrison sips the orange juice as she shuffles the deck. In all truth, he doesn’t need the cards to be shuffled—he knows exactly which ones he needs. But her ease intrigues him, and he can’t help but feel mesmerized with each flitter of the deck.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” he asks after another long pull of juice.

She cuts the deck and continues. “My father.”

“I didn’t know you had parents.”

“I didn’t know your mother had children.”  

“I don’t think she knows either.”

Eliza rests the shuffled deck onto the countertop and nudges it toward him. He hasn’t told her what game they’re going to play, and as Harrison searches for his necessary cards, the prickle of her gaze deadens. He keeps at task, combing each card and pulling out the needed.             

“I would’ve liked to know.” Eliza says this nimbly. “You look like her.”        

Another pick. “Every son wants to look like their mother. What a dream.”      

“I meant that as a good thing.”

“And I meant what I said as a bad thing.” 

What a way to end this update lol! 

I’ll be back soon with an update for the final chapter in this book! I hope y’all have been okay in these times, I know it’s not easy. Let me know what you’re working on!

--Rachel

[rrxnjun]

OH MAN THATS JUST... but the fact that taking the the bus is slower AND u had to pay for it just smh i hope at least the company was good!!:o

U ARE JUST TOO NICE FOR SAYING THAT;-;💕💞wahhh i hope u get used to again!!!!!!💕💖

I WILL POSSIBLY LEAVE A REVIEW TOMORROW CUZ I HOPE I WILL FINALLY HAVE TIME TO READ IT!! SO EXCITED FOR IT!!! ahhh their songs are amazing so i'm not surprised u are inspired from them (and also like amazing songs inspiring amazing fics is just🤌🤌) THE YANGYANG BAND FIC WAS I THINK WHAT I READ FROM U AFTER FINDING LIEBESTRAUM AND WHEN I TELL U U BROUGHT BACK MY PARAMORE OBSESSION JUST CUZ OF THE TITLE!! ALSO VERY MUCH LOVED THAT FIC!! LIKE I STILL THINK OF IT A LOT AND I READ IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY🫣

and idk if u mean like genres or artists but other than k-pop i tend to listen to what's popular tbh💀(more so indie pop and hyper pop! but i'm just not very picky with the music i listen to tbh😟) and if u meant artist, rn i listen to a lot of lovejoy (WHICH I KNOW U LISTEN TO! UR KNEE DEEP AT ATP FIC WAS🤌🤌🤌and i was so surprised u know them tbh and also knowing wilbur soot in general i never expected seeing them in like "k-pop grounds" xd) beabadoobee, gracie abrams, aespa, the boyz, ericdoa and some hungarian artists!!! and i also feel like this is the time to mention the just saying fic as well cuz 5sos is🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌 like ur music taste just slaps tbh it's just sooooo good!!! and if u have any artist recommendations i would gladly accept them🫡(liebestraum anon💕)

THATS THE THING THE COMPANY WASNT EVEN GOOD BC MY CLASSMATES SUCK AT KEEPING UP W CONVERSATIONS EVEN MORE THAN ME IT WAS LEGIT A COMPLETELY SILENT JOURNEY TO UNI. I COULDVE WALKED AND LISTENED TO MY MUSIC INSTEAD THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE

AAA definitely do leave a review even tho theres no pressure !!!! hope u like the fic 🤭💕💕

i love getting inspired by songs!!! thats why i usually have a playlist for each fic i write hhh its a part of my creative process at all times 🥰 AAA THE YANGYANG FIC IS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES BECAUSE OF THE SONGS THAT INSPIRED IT. i fucking loooove paramore i grew up to their music 💕 but the fact that the whole fic was inspired by awsten and the fact that he used to be a guitar teacher is so funny to me sometimes i cant 😭

NO WAY U LIKE LOVEJOY WHAT ((the second to last scene in the yy fic was literally inspired by perfume and the "its 3:45 the taxi's not arrived i dont think that he's coming" line 😭😭) MY BIO IS LITERALLY A PERFUME LYRIC i love that song sm i dont think im ever changing it. tbf i was never into mc youtube and i just found a random wilbur edit on tiktok one day which led me to watching some of his and tommy's vlogs which led me to lovejoy AHAHA.

i do love aespa too🤭 i think nct and aespa are the only kpop artists i actively stan rn HAHA but i always wanted to check out beabadobee so maybe this is my sign 👀

U LIKE 5SOS TOO IM IN LOVE W YOU 😻 ive been a 5sos stan for like 8 years now and i wanted to write a fic inspired by just saying since like 2015 so im glad i finally got to it last year 😭😭 thank u for complimenting my music taste i take big pride in it actually😭😭😭😭 i dont really have many recs since u like most of my fav artists,, but i also really enjoy wallows, chase atlantic and the driver era too! i am also currently fighting with hyuck for the position of baekhyun's biggest fan but im severely losing 😔

also hungarian artists hm....ive never listened to any hungarian songs,, do u have any recs? 👀 also does that by any chance mean u are from hungary...?(its ok if u dont wanna tell me!! its just that if u are we might be neighbors LMAO)

[lucasseliott]

thanks @lepetitepeach for tagging me! 🥰(i love that you tag me in all of these, theyre fun haha)

i think ive done a similar one to this before, but its been months so here ya go

nicknames: some people call me lou or luc (with an s sound, idk how to spell that lol), my parents sometimes call me lulabelle (lololol), mainly just lucy is fine tho thanks

zodiac sign: aquarius sun, taurus moon, cancer rising (had a proper look into horoscopes for this never looked at my moon or rising sign before!)

height: 172cm (about 5ft 7in) 

hogwarts house: slytherin!! 

last thing i googled: my horoscope lol, but before that i was doing some more research for my trip for paris for eil, train tickets etc. MUCH HYPE!

favourite music: my main genres on spotify atm are indie, pop, rock and electronic/dance, which seems about right, but honestly im not against anything unless its like country music lol

song stuck in my head: on a roll - ashley o (that song from the black mirror ep miley cyrus was in, its a bop tbf)

what i follow: natasha mentioned the heartstopper comic in hers and YESS I LOVE, i also have three blogs on here: my main ( @toomanyotpfeels ) which ive had for like 7 years, its gone through a lot but atm its mostly emmerdale, twenty one pilots and some other posts, my second blog is this one and its just skam content all day and night, and my third blog ( @sweetteatrash ) which is a timothee chalamet fan blog where i just reblog random timmy content...

followers: main blog: 326, this blog: 1819, timmy blog: 6 (looool, follow for random timmy spam pls)

do i get asks: only really on this blog, and only really if i reblog one of those ask game things hahaha, sometimes random asks about things ive posted as well but rarely (send me asks im lonely)

amount of sleep: i try and get 8, doesnt always happen, id say it can be between 6-10 depending on what im doing that day.

what i’m wearing: currently in bed, so have on some batman shorts pjs, love that for me

dream job: literally not a damn clue ahhhh, something to do with social media maybe? i studied digital tv production in uni and the transmedia bits always interested me the most. but im lazy and my current job is a 10min walk away from me so im cruising atm haha

dream trip: new york pls and thank you, various other places in europe (lol we shall see how that goes after brexit...), and hopefully canada and new zealand at some point too

favourite food: sushi i love!, indian food i always get prawn pakora and chicken korma sooo good, chinese food i live for sweet and sour chicken and like every starter on the menu, but also if im in a restaurant you can always catch me trying to find the chicken caesar salad on the menu (my friends make fun of me for it)

languages: english is my only fluent language, i have studied german/french/spanish in school, none of it stuck, and also im learning norwegian on duolingo does that count?

favourite songs: slowtown - twenty one pilots, holding on to you - twenty one pilots, lethargy - bastille, lavender - two door cinema club, trees - twenty one pilots, sweet - brockhampton, brazil - declan mckenna, that sound - sam fender, fairly local - twenty one pilots (basically every top song ever to exist ever, even that taco bell saga one dear god) this question is so hard, i just named like a random few songs from the top of my head hahaha

random fact: im half irish on my dads side (republic of ireland, not the north...)

i defo word vomited a bit here, wouldnt blame you if you didnt read this far hahaha

imma tag: @srodvlv, @mickey-milkovich, @saphy-supernova, @chelou-mecs-in-love, @breakalltheclocksandthemirrors, @jebentnietalleen, @feathered-minds

[weirdlizard26]

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

 96. desktop background?

 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

 98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

[one-and-three-sevenths]

21 Questions Tag!

Thank you so much @rogersmeadows for tagging me!!! This has accidentally been sitting in my drafts for ages I’m so sorry lol

nicknames: I dont really have one, the only one who uses it is my mum lmao but “Lou”

zodiac sign: leo  (roger hmu)

height: 5′1.75 !!!! (.75 is very important when ur as smol as me)

hogwarts house: ok ok dont get me STARTED i was a big HP fan as a kid and ALL MY LIFE I was a Gryffindor (this is based off of Pottermore btw) and then I thought, hey I havent taken the test in a couple years, lets try again..... AND I GOT HUFFLEPUFF. I FEEL BETRAYED AND I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS. so tl;dr i’m a gryffindor

last thing i googled: taron egerton as eggsy 

fave musicians: ............ this is a queen blog so i mean???? but gosh my music is all over. I also love people like Conan Gray and Dodie and Hozier, but also stuff like Motley Crue (i do not condone the actual band) and Twenty One Pilots. i also like lots of indie shit. Apart from Queen tho I dont think I could choose favourites.

song stuck in your head: can’t help falling in love by Elvis Presley ... my mum just got back from memphis so theres a lot of Elvis in the house

following: 589! (I also run two other blogs so its not all Queen haha)

followers: 165 here!!! 1,383 on my main:)

do you get asks: almost never tbh!! I get one or two very rarely and they make my heart go !! every time cus i love interacting with you guys

amount of sleep: im currently running on about 7 hours but with no alarm and no commitments I can easily sleep 12+ hours in one go. My schedule is wack so sometimes im not even in bed till like 4am

lucky number: i dont have one!!! i kinda like the number 7, he seems cool

What are you wearing: a grey hoodie from my housing company (they gave them out on move-in day) and a pair of my bf’s boxers lmao comfy lyfe

dream job: i would really love something in the film industry. I thought I wanted to be a cinematographer but after my first year at uni, I’m not sure which exact job I want! but if it could be annything I wanna be a musician (singer).

dream trip: every trip? I think rn I want nothing more than a roadtrip in some hippie fan with my friends from North California to SoCal.

instruments: i sing!!!! I can play guitar, I’m better than beginner for sure but I wouldn’t actually say Im any good. I also play ukulele pretty well:) I used to play piano but I dont anymore. (ask/dm me if you’d like to see something of me playing!!)

languages: english and a small amount of spanish and hungarian!! but very small amounts

favourite songs: hhhhhhhhHhhhhhhHHHHHH these questions make me combust bc i cant come up with accurate answers. my CURRENT faves (as in, right now, it changes basically every day) would be: Close My Eyes by Hey Violet, Son and Daughter by Queen, Drowse by Queen, Guiltless by Dodie ????? idkkkkk

random fact: i have an outie belly button👀 only 10% of the population do! and mine is super rare bc it was caused by an umbilical hernia,,, (tmi??)

aethestic: the sun on your skin, acoustic guitars, dirt under your feet, hand-holding (with everyone), vanilla, building fairy gardens, drunken karaoke, candid Polaroid’s, cat eyes, dancing in your room, colour coded notes, cry laughing, dirty boots, afternoon naps, losing your voice at a concert, summer sunsets, losing your friends at a party, denim jackets, fairy lights, pillow forts, tattoos, short skirts, getting lost in the woods, London buses, loud music

I am tagging @cool--cats and @im-addicted-to-queen !!!