#even though I know it's impossible

[blue-bird1967]

It's not exactly what you'd call a happy birthday art, but I've wanted to post it for a long time SO happy birthday to my babyboy Sammy!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[voidedtea]

[ID in alt]

my pieces for @strawberrij's thespius fashion zine!! quite the endeavour and adventure that turned out pretty neat i think :]

special thanks go to @ratchetclankarecute for posing/cloth references + the bulk of the image descriptions! that first image would Not have happened without them <3

[kindofsharethat]

i can’t believe i’m making this post. i feel sick to my stomach. everything is in a fog, like this is all a terrible dream.

i didn’t know liam personally, but even just watching him move about life being his tactile, steadfast, human-labrador self with boundless amounts of love to give, even if it meant taking on the brunt of others’ pain himself, as a bystander has been an honour and a privilege.

he had a talent—a true gift—and chose to share that with us. and through that talent, as a disabled high schooler who literally had trouble finding my voice and never fit in anywhere, i found a community. a home. somewhere i knew i could always turn, through the good times and the bad. in many ways, one direction saved me. there’s no “thank you” that feels big enough to encapsulate what he did for me and so many others.

all my love and well wishes to his family, friends and whoever was lucky enough to be in his orbit.

rest in peace, liam. ❤️

[ironworked]

Let me distribute some protective gear before I get into it *hands out wigs and clown noses*

Ok. So remember how we thought Buck's speeches at the cemetery and at the hospital were about Tommy (finding a family with the 118 etc)?

What if they were about Buck?

Things were rather quiet in 911Land during his relationship with Tommy (at least for Buck) and the relationship itself had been smooth sailing, so maybe when he had his talk with Josh he only had a very nebulous view of that future he wanted with Tommy.

But now Buck's abandonment issues have been triggered, and he's going to go through some very dark moments (Eddie possibly going to Texas, Maddie getting kidnapped) and then, presumably, some very good ones: Eddie fixing things with Chris; Maddie and Chim reuniting and with their new baby; Karen and Hen adopting Mara; Bobby and Athena with their new house...

and then... Buck.

They have said Buck needs to figure himself out (I don't remember what expressions they've used but something along those lines).

Maybe, just maybe, the idea is that after that 'transformative' relationship with Tommy, Buck will find himself going through life 'alone' (all those bad events, and all those celebrations), and that will make him know that he didn't just want Tommy in their easy relationship, that he wants him by his side during hard times, and during the happy ones too.

'Especially when things go wrong.' / 'I can't imagine anything more painful than going through life alone.'

And that's what will make him reach out.

[I say 'alone' because obviously he's surrounded and loved by his family of choice, so what we're talking about here is that particular kind of companionship that he lacks and he's been looking for since s1]

[kevin-the-bruyne]

I think the fact that we had two high profile actors have to take a step back from BL due to mental health issues in the last year alone and total 4 (krist james jimmy and chimon but also saint stepped back to bts and up also went that route before slowly dipping his feet back in) since I’ve gotten into this fandom should be an indicator that company’s need to be doing less not more.

Literally saw a fan complaining yesterday that FIRST KANAPHAN was being unfairly treated because he wasn’t getting enough work 😭😭😭 that man is literally never off my timeline how much more can he even work without dying?

When a company is doing 4 re-runs their teams are likely running on fumes and in a talent/ creator based industry you can’t just scale up endlessly resources are not unlimited. And sorry I took that so goddamn personally but burnout =/= incompetent.

They can’t just hire any fresh grad and expect them to work at the pace that the company needs them to. Even if they have talent they need to be trained and invested in and this has to happen at every level of production. There’s even a show coming out about it right now as we speak. I’m begging people to just open up a map of Thailand and realize just how small a country it is.

I can’t stand twitter because it’s an endless barrage of fans demanding demanding demanding for unreasonable things. Tumblr is my escape from that hustle and grind culture. And somehow we’ve managed to import that here.

I have the ability to mass block if I need to but also does anyone here have the ability to just chill the fuck out for a second. Like we have to be honest with ourselves here: I’m *not* a GMM fangirl you guys are just acting bananas.

[aholefilledwithtwigs]

I have to say, as a full ass adult it is so satisfying to respond with ‘Tumblr’ when asked if I’m on any social media. It’s great. Just a conversation full stop. No ‘what’s your handle/username’ like with instagram or twitter. Absolute roadblock— and usually derails people from the whole goal of getting your socials

(other tumblr users also don’t ask username, but for entirely different reasons)

[kirkwallguy]

thinking too deeply about marcus transition. he only starts presenting as a man full time after leaving for ostagar and bethany only starts doing hrt magic on him after they reach kirkwall. so varric's imagined version of him with a full beard in the prologue is inaccurate in ways that reveal how little he actually knows about him.

[philyuri]

kind of crazy to mention the current political climate in your title as a uk youtuber but then not expand upon that at all whatsoever or use your platform meaningfully. but hey thanks for that retweet

[askthisfishprince]

((Eridan seems like the kind of person who would make an effort to discover obscure underground music that "sounds cool," regardless of whether he genuinely enjoys it, just to appear more impressive..))

((so that is the vibe here lol))

((this isn't music that reminds me of him really??. For the most part This is just.…the playlist of a guy who curated it specifically so he could go “oh you don't knoww them? 🙄 typical…”))

((shout out to the love of my life @fleshisfun for helping me compile a majority of the music ❤️))

[simcardiac-arrested]

ur probably sick of seeing posts like these but i just want to sit here and muse about how, well, i enjoy tumblr #mytumblr not just because of all the obvious stuff like how it’s not run on an algorithm, and because it’s one of the only social media that i don’t have to jump through hoops to use and that isn’t phone-exclusive (for me)

but i think my favorite thing has to be the askblogs, and running one. which is weird, because if you asked me as little as 3 years ago what i loved most about tumblr, i’d probably say “uh, looking at owl house posts, i guess?”, it’s weird because i never actually planned to make one and created it on a whim based on a few random people’s tags, and even then it was made mostly as a joke. i just never thought about it before—i grew up with askblogs, an era of tumblr that was truly as magical as it was catastrophic (as all things that get vaguely popular), but i never thought about making one because: it’s a commitment, it seems like a lot, i’m inconsistent, how would i draw for it every single time, etc etc all that good stuff

but then i just made it. and fuck me is it the most fun thing ever. it doesn’t have to be consistent. it doesn’t have to be perfect, or polished, or anything really. it just has to be. to exist out there in the world and be open to messages. the most it has to be is loved by me and by u guys.

and that’s the thing! the best thing—i love involving u guys in my writing, pushing the characters in one direction and then the next, seeing where that takes us (because i don’t always know either, that’s what writing is all about babeyyy). i love that i don’t have to just post the most important plot beats one after the other and have the story be done there. i love that i get to weave the development through vaguely connected, sometimes relevant but sometimes completely random joke asks. that i don’t have to write a whole ass novel of build-up or draw everything as one long-running comic just to make my characters feel like they actually exist and react to the things around them, that they’re not just here to get from point a to b. and i love that you’re all part of it. the story seriously just wouldn’t be the way it is without all of you guys who are always so curious to ask something, or call a character out (depending on how much they need to be humbled COUGHHHHCOUGHHHHH)

so yeah, i’m just forever grateful for all of you and for the fact that tumblr allows things like these to happen. i have no idea what other site could possibly offer the same sort of experience, or anything similar, but i am just forever in love with the fact that it’s something you can do here. i wouldn’t trade it for anything. what a cool fucking thing to be able to do

[fear-no-mort]

i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,

[katyspersonal]

who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?

This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!

1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!

With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!

Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:

They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?

The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!

I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?

2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!

This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:

BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,

and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:

(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)

I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!

There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs

3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?

Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:

This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!

Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.

This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.

I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.

This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?

4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)

This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!

It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?

Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:

First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!

Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:

Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!

So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.

^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though

As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!

I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:

This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!

So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!

Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?

This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:

In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.

___________________________________

My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?

I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:

[perplexed-penguin]

Ok one more thing, on the immigration section. Vance saying immigrants are the reason housing is so unattainable is the biggest joke I’ve ever heard.

You damn well know it’s your capitalist dickhead friends that hoard properties to rent them out that has driven up housing prices.

[donutdrawsthings]

🦋 Your mother will remember that.

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso × Unconventional Drinking Implements