#even though i wrote quite a few scenes with that character and the boy he CANONICALLY HAS A CRUSH ON

[ancientmyrddin]

a fun part of fne p2 is that i've had a situation come up thrice where i have to dodge any romantic/sexual tension in a scene between the pov character and others, and i'm coming to the conclusion that p2 mc is extremely shippable.

[nolita-fairytale]

don't want to walk alone | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | epilogue: november

summary: sugar has her baby marking the beginning of a new chapter for the berzatto family.

warnings: husband!carmy who comes with a warning label of his own, swearing, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns, the end

wc: 1300

listen to: 'lean on me' -- bill withers & 'chinatown' -- bleachers (because it's so make my heart surrender au coded) on the official don't want to walk alone playlist

a/n: well, folks! this gets us from here to the carmy as your baby daddy au. BUT i think it's time for me to let these two ride off into the sunset and go on their merry way. i have loved this story, these characters, this world since it filled my brain with a story that begged to be told, and forced me to write it because i couldn't stop thinking about it. i wrote something quite sappy in the a/n a few chapters ago, so i'll spare us an encore performance of it and just say this: thank you for reading. thank you for being a part of this story. thank you for being a part of their journey. i will pop into this world and perhaps maybe write oneshots from time to time, but... it's time, my loves. :) would anyone be interested in a behind the scenes look at this world like i did with 'burn your life down?' let me know!

part five | masterlist

November

After sixteen long hours, Sugar’s baby comes: a perfect, rosy-cheeked, healthy baby boy that sends you and Carmy rushing to the hospital. Sugar hadn’t wanted you to come till she was ready to push, and by the time you got the text from Pete, you’d sped to the restaurant, ready to drag Carmy out of there, regardless of how busy it had been. 

Besides, everyone knew what was going on – on the edges of their seats, phones at the ready to hear any and all news about the new member of the family, and more than happy to support so that you and Carmy could show up for Sugar. 

“Carm?” Sugar asks for her brother, as you and Pete hug it out in the waiting room. You can’t even tell that the man’s been up all night; the excitement and joy in his eyes overshadowing any and all fatigue. 

Carmy excuses himself from you and Pete’s congratulatory embrace, making his way into the hospital room where his sister lays, propped up on her bed, baby in arms. 

So much has changed for the both of them: his sister, now a mother, and he, an uncle. Carmy takes cautious steps forward, the reality of it all beginning to hit him. 

“Hi,” she smiles, in complete awe of her new baby. 

“Woah,” Carmy says, though completely incapable of hiding the smile that begins to form over his face. “You made that.”

“I made that,” she chuckles with an eye roll, glancing from the baby, to her brother, then back to her son. “And he’s the most perfect thing in the world. Baby boy, I want you to meet someone. I want you to meet your uncle.” 

Carmy carefully sits in the chair right next to the bed, turning his attention to the baby. 

“Can you say hi to your Uncle Carmy?” Nat coos, shifting so that she can properly introduce her son and Carmy. 

“Oh my goodness… look at you,” Carmy says, his eyes full of wonder as the sleeping baby shifts in Sugar’s arms. 

He’s not sure what to say, the words caught in his throat. He can feel it – that this is something momentous – but it’s as if he doesn’t know where to begin, lost in the magnitude of what’s happening right now. 

“Hey, little guy,” Carmy finally manages to get out, his voice stuck in his throat. 

Sugar chuckles again, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

“How ya doin?” Carmy asks, looking over at his sister this time. 

“Great. Just great,” she replies dryly, earning a laugh from Carmy, because it really has been one hell of a night. 

When she opens her mouth to answer this time, her words come out much more genuine and soft as she adds, “I am though. Really. I’m great.”

Carmy nods in understanding, his eyes searching his sister’s face for any more of a reaction. But he knows that this is a dream come true for her -- that being a mother had always been the plan. Carmy chooses to focus this time on the sleeping baby, who’s tucked his head into her chest, seeking out warmth and comfort in this strange, new world. 

“Bear?” Nat asks, as Carmy lifts his head to look at her once more. 

There’s something urgent in her voice that grabs his attention and he’s not sure what she’s going to say next. 

“Yeah?” he asks back, his eyes wide. 

“So I want to talk to you about something,” Sugar says, his voice softening even more as she looks down at her baby boy. Carmy nods once, letting her know that he’s ready as Nat continues. “I uh… well, Pete and I have been thinking a lot about this. And… I wanted to talk to you about it before we move forward with it.”

Carmy swallows, leaning in this time. 

“After we found out we were having a boy, Carm, we talked a lot… about what we would name him and… with his due date being in November… I don’t know. And look at him now, meeting him... it just feels right,” she begins, emotions welling in her voice. “We-, well, we want to name him Michael. If that’s okay… with you.”

Carmy has to stop for a moment, frozen in time as he hears the name. It’s not like he gets emotional about these kinds of things very often, but then again, this is all new to him – new to the little families they’re building; a new generation of Berzattos. 

“Uh,” Carmy croaks out, his voice stuck in his throat as he realizes he’s much more moved than he expected to be. “Uh yeah, Sug. I… it’s okay with me.”

“Are you sure? Because I didn’t know if you wanted to use the name or-,” Sugar begins to explain. 

“No, it’s-, it’s okay,” Carmy is quick to interject. “If it feels right. I mean we haven’t even-, you know, we’re not talking about… yet….” 

Sugar nods in understanding, because she knows that you and Carmy have only been married for two months now. Hell, she's your best friend; she'd know if either of you were talking about having kids.

“So,” Carmy says, his eyes suddenly feeling watery. “Guess there’s a new Michael Berzatto then?”

He takes another look at his baby nephew, joy and grief both trapped inside his chest. Carmy's overwhelmed by it all: hearing his name, what this means for the Berzattos, this new beginning. He thinks back to what you said to Sugar on your wedding day -- that this could be the start of a new chapter for all of you -- the reality of your words reflected back to him now, all in one tiny package of new life.

"Welcome to the world, buddy," Carmy manages to say, his voice soft and full.

And it's as if every single thing that's led to this moment, and every single possibility that the future may hold rush before his eyes.

“Welcome to the world, baby boy,” Sugar whispers, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions.

*

Wanting to give Carmy and Nat time alone together, you spend the first part of your hospital visit with Pete in the waiting room, as the teary-eyed man recounts the intensity of the last eight hours. You can see it in his eyes, hear it in the way he speaks, that this is a dream come true for him – becoming a father. 

Soon enough, Pete is ushering you into the hospital room, more than eager to introduce you to your new nephew. By the time you and Pete join her and Carmy, the new Berzatto is fast asleep on her chest, while Carmy sits quietly next to her. There’s an energy between the siblings, something you notice right away, and you can only imagine that this is emotional for the both of them on so many levels. 

“Hi,” you grin, looking from Sugar to Carmy, as you join him by her bedside.  

“Hi, sweetie,” Sugar greets you. Carmy smiles at you, as your hand comes up to rub comforting patterns over his shoulder and back. 

“Pete,” Nat begins again. “Carmy and I were just talking… about his name.”

“Oh yeah?” Pete asks, smiling hopefully as he exchanges a look with his wife. 

She nods, a full conversation happening between the new parents with just one look. Pete lets out a heavy exhale, smiling at his wife as Nat answers with:

“Yeah."

Carmy clears his throat, his arm closest to you squeezing you closer to him, gently leaning his head against your side in search of comfort. 

“What’d you decide on?” you ask curiously, the air seemingly tense with feeling. 

“Michael,” Sugar answers, exchanging a look with her brother this time. Carmy squeezes your hip, and as you search his face for a reaction, you can tell he's holding back tears.

“His name is Michael.”

[tarabyte3]

Fic Updates

It's been a while soo....

I Want You to Show Me Weak — As I've stated before, there are only 2 chapters left in the entire fic. I'm going to be finishing both of them before I post chapter 26. Then I'll be posting chapter 27 the next day. Gonna end the fic with a bang 😏 I have everything outlined and thought out, I just have to finish writing it (I'm very excited about what I have planned/written for the final chapter, which includes the ending). Though I will admit, it's been difficult to write knowing I'll be saying goodbye to this story. I'll miss my boys SO much 😭, as well as this version of Kino x Reader, but I want to finish it for myself and for all of you! Besides, there's always the possibility of oneshots set in this universe in the future AND I'm not done writing for Kino. Not even close! I have no date estimate at the moment, but I'm trying to give this one my full attention so 🤞

The Devil Makes Us Sin — Once Show Me Weak is done, I'm going to give this one my full attention for a while. (Though, to be honest, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing Kino first, I still keep this document open and regularly pop in to write a paragraph or two. What can I say, David is VERY fun to write for 😏, I love him, and I must follow the serotonin). The next few chapters will be shorter so they should go quickly, and I already have around the next 4 of them half written (I actually have about ~25k of future stuff written last time I checked, including parts of chapters MUCH further down the road 😅).

Other Wips

While my focus has been on my ongoing stories, I do have a few other WIPs I have actual content written for! So here's an update on those as well. For fun.

Personal Trainer!Kino x Reader Modern AU — I have the beginning of this story and a few scenes written, and SO many notes for it. (My relationship with my trainer is fantastic. He's 50% big brother energy, 50% wingman energy, but he says THE most out of pocket shit so I immediately write it down after my sessions. Because him saying it does nothing for me, but imagining Kino saying it?? 😵‍💫🫠🥵) It will probably end up ~5 chapters total. Probably.

And Your Heart, Love, Has Such Darkness (David x Reader smutty Oneshot) — I started this one a year ago because I wrote something for TDMUS that didn't quite fit, but I liked it enough to keep it and make it its own thing. It's over half done right now, so it will likely be the next oneshot I post.

I Didn't Want to Hurt You, but You're Pretty When You Cry (Dark!David x Reader) — I think this one will end up about 3 chapters long and will contain a lot of content warnings. It's going to be more horror focused (with splashes of dark humor because I cannot help myself). I adore the opening chunk I've written. It gave me goosebumps.

Secret Andy Blorbo x Reader Oneshot — This one started as a joke on Discord about an Andy blorbo that is not only incredibly niche/unknown, but is actively not attractive (one of the very rare times Andy Serkis does nothing for me. In fact, when I see him, my vagina makes the windows shutdown noise). Except I made the mistake of saying, "I want to try to write for this character as a fun challenge just so I can sexually confuse everyone." And it, uh, spiraled from there and made me rethink my entire stance on this character (thank you for not only indulging me, Hannah, but encouraging me and giving me more ideas 💖 I loved [redacted] thirst day in TNBF)

Halsin x Tav — That's right, I'm writing for the sexy druid. It'll be 2 chapters, and it's about a third of the way finished. This Tav will be a human fighter, but is otherwise written more like a Reader Insert. (Side note: going back to 3rd person POV after writing a lot of 2nd person POV is harder than I imagined 🙃)

Paz Vizsla x Mando!Reader Oneshot — That's right, I'm also writing for the big Mandalorian. It's about a third of the way finished as well. (These last 2 are actually a little intimidating because the fandoms are MUCH larger, but I need to get them out sooo fuck it, it's happening.)

So as you can see, even though I haven't posted very much outside of Liam Black, I'm still writing a lot. Apparently I just have commitment issues and a lot of ✨thots✨ 😌💖

[duplicitywrites]

Thank you so much for replying to my other ask! I completely understand not wanting to revisit a fic you had wrote when you weren't doing the best, and I hope you're feeling better now! 🩷 I adore 'evermore' so much even though it's quite depressing aha 🥲 The way you wrote Harry's mental health and escapism was so good and Id love to hear some spoilers if you were up to it 😅

One thing I love about fanfic is the freedom of it all, and like you said "What is fanfic if not an ode to writing that felt unfinished?". Your interpretation of Harry as an abused child at his core in works like "damaged" always get to me. It always felt weird in the HP book series that Harry had such an awful childhood and was as well adjusted and happy in the future.

Another one of your works I was really interested in is 'perfect boys with their perfect lives', the Harry/Cedric aka a certain dark lord one. It really had me thinking about what could have happened in the graveyard if Harry hadn't escaped 🫣

i am, thanks! it was around covid, which was an awful time for everyone i'm sure, with weird life stuff piled on top of it.

i was going to answer all of the ones you mentioned, but evermore is actually one of few stories i have planned out in detail. this is why it has a planned chapter count (though that hasn't stopped me from going overboard before lol).

i guess i'll just give you the whole thing in case i never finish it kljsdgkljdgs it's pretty long, so under a cut it goes! but first some context for everyone else:

🍃 Evermore

Tags: Alternate Universe, Unhealthy Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Infidelity, Past Child Abuse, Dream Sequences, Depression, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Plot Twists, Happy Ending, Surprise Ending, Healing

Summary:

Harry is a married man who is living a charmed life. He has no need for the fantasy potions gifted to him by the Weasley twins—or so he thinks. After falling asleep on the train ride home, Harry dreams of the perfect man, a man named Tom Riddle. As Harry explores his dream life with Tom, he realizes that his actual life is not as charmed as it seems. The pristine image of his faultless marriage shatters, revealing a darker reality, and Tom Riddle becomes an oasis, a sanctuary for Harry to escape to. However, no sanctuary is eternal and no oasis is truly perfect. Harry must eventually confront his demons, inner and outer, before he can find real happiness for himself.

Notes:

these notes are arranged in order from where the most recently posted chapter left off.

there are probably some divergent points that occurred during the actual writing process, but this plan below (i'll admit i'm not quite brave enough to reread it all) is what the general storyline will be.

-

reality four - right where you left me

maybe harry's been harbouring fears of his potions being found? :thots: or his husband's made note of his changes in behaviour, accuses him of not spending time/being devoted

they get into an argument where harry gets a looooot of shit for stuff he doesn't deserve to get shit for, stuff that's not even true

harry yells back but gets hit, idk if by magic or not :thots: and he backs down, distraught. then once he's alone, he goes straight for the dream world

dream four - no body no crime

it'll be a much shorter version obviously, and the character roster won't be the same

i hadn't nailed down the specifics of the background and so i'm not sure how it'll look, exactly

harry is NOT married in this dream, he knows dream-husband but they are only friends

dream-husband is ginny's role in this particular iteration

but the climax of this scene is where harry is snooping around in the house, where he happens upon the dream-husband's diary

he's been looking for evidence to prove the murder

harry reads through the diary

and in the diary are tragic entries describing depressive thoughts, details of emotional (maybe even physical) abuse, etc.

this is a pivotal moment for harry, who up until this moment has been in denial about the failings of his real life marriage

reading this in the framing of it happening to someone else is enough for him to realize that it's wrong

what happens to him is not okay

but of course it's not that easy to just, shrug off years of marriage all at once; harry once again exits the dream, thus ending that particular dream universe

he's partly in denial but it's not as bad as before

he's been using the dreams as a coping mechanism up until this point

i've made it sound kind of frustrating but the dream worlds that harry goes to are meant to be very lush, romanticized

while we realize that harry's dream worlds are not ideal, he doesn't realize it right away

he thinks he's still doing something wrong

reality five - coney island

uh so next is probably another real life scene which shows tension between harry and his husband, only harry is no longer acting the way he did before aka accepting things without question

after the dream, harry starts to... notice things. he picks up on the slights, on the manipulative behaviours. he doesn't argue back for most of it, because he's still figuring it out and he's in shock, but he does start acting differently, which is noted by his husband

it escalates things further, a landslide of 'harry is no longer listening to me, is no longer under my control' type of deal where it results in more attempts to manipulate, which harry now sees is bad

voldemort grew addicted to power, made deals with politicians, gained a following

he looks back on past events and picks out the red flags, realizes that his marriage is not a marriage of equals. but just because harry knows these things, doesn't mean he knows what to do. he goes back to the dream world for comfort/answers

dream five - cowboy like me

this one is 'cowboy like me'

harry is there with his husband staying at a hotel, they happen across dream-husband, who is a con artist attempting to swindle an older woman

either harry is also a con artist in a similar vein, or he is mistaken for one - i'll probably decide once it's written out and i get a sense of the vibe

but he and dream-husband have some interesting conversations, flirting, etc

the theme of this dream i think will be further strengthening the similarities between harry and the dream-husband he's made up in his head

this dream ends with a bittersweet farewell

something along the lines of, despite their attraction for each other, they must part ways? :thots: or some other thing

but there will be a bit of a cheeky 'see you soon'

aka referencing the fact that it's a dream/dream world, that the dream-husband is a recurring character in harry's mental space

reality six - happiness

harry's down to two vials now, the bittersweet farewell of dream five has him realizing that time is running out in the metaphorical sense; we understand that soon he will need to make a choice

i might loop back to infidelity at this point, maybe in an attempt to bring harry to heel, his husband starts flaunting an affair? :thots: cause in the past, flirting with other people probably worked to make harry upset and easily manipulated

but y'know now harry is armed with his brand new knowledge of Marriage Should Not Be Like This and also he's got some shiny self-worth stored up, courtesy of dream-husband

dream six - ivy

in this dream world, harry is married to his current husband, but he is having an affair with the dream-husband; not in the sexual sense, but in the emotional sense. drawing on the dream five, harry is seeking comfort and solace from his bad marriage

this dream is meant to remove more of harry's doubts and encourage him to see that his current situation is bad

and i imagine we start to break through the fourth wall; dream-husband speaks directly to harry, referencing real life events that have occurred

he encourages harry to leave

harry is doubtful, obviously. this is all he's known and he's been gaslighted, manipulated, mistreated

he's terrified he will be found out and punished for it

but the dream-husband reassures him, promises him that things will be okay, etc.

he makes harry promise to take care of himself

and i'm thinking in true romantic sense, maybe they spend the night together? :thots:

reality seven - closure

we solidify that harry deserves better, that what has happened is not his fault, etc all the important, healthy things

we have harry reaching out to the people that have been slowly pushed out of his life (mostly by his husband). he’s reconnecting with them, being healthier, i think this section would end with harry going to ron and hermione and telling them the truth, telling them everything

harry is down to his last vial, so he's been saving it

like, he could obviously go and get more, they would give it to him for free, even, but you know it's kind of like

he shouldn't have to rely on that as a coping mechanism any more

dream seven - evermore

i'm thinking harry goes for one last dream, they sit together outside(?) or somewhere else that has significance for harry

they hold hands, harry talks about how much the support has meant to him, what he's learned about himself, what these dreams have taught him

sometimes things don't work out

he knows he needs to walk out and move on

i'll probably cry writing all this so you know it'll be good

the end - it’s time to go

then like i mentioned before, there will be a scene of harry signing divorce papers. his friends are with him, telling them they support him, and he feels... relief. he feels hope.

the story ends with harry attending a party, this time by his own decision. he's here to genuinely mingle with people, with his friends, and have a good time

and then he sees someone

much like the previous dream, it's someone who he once knew

they talk, they catch up, but this time it doesn't feel odd or uncomfortable

harry feels secure with himself, and we end on the hopeful note that this could go somewhere good

[hekateinhell]

this is from a while ago but you mention on that poll about armand's love interests you have a few different ways you interpret the blood communion speech armand gives lestat about loving him. i'm curious what your takes are, if you don't mind sharing :) as a daniel/armand shipper, i've always read a lot into the fact daniel isn't name-dropped - as though he's an exception or what they have is something more than just love... though the out of universe explanation is probably just he was forgotten (also apologies if you answered this before and i missed it)

Actually, I know I talk about Lestat and Armand a lot and I've certainly spoken about that scene plenty, but I don't think I've broken down my various interpretations in post form before. I don't mind sharing but remember, you asked! ♥️

I have four basic interpretations, the first of which I use for meta purposes and the others for headcanons/fic as needed.

Interpretation 1: Armand does love Lestat the most. This is the canon read and the one I default to because it's quite literally in the text. I know with VC we tend to selectively 'read between the lines' (I'm guilty as hell), but there's also times where Anne meant exactly what she wrote and I do find it extremely consist with Armand's characterization up to this point.

I'm not saying it's necessarily a healthy love, or even a romantic one though! In my opinion, it's at least in part related to the fact that Lestat's almost always present when Armand's going through some of the most traumatic events in his life (neither of them exhibit anything close to a healthy attachment style). Because these are not two mutually exclusive things, I do tend to read them as having more of an all encompassing, soul-connection type of love. Both can be true.

From 'does anyone else know the size of your soul?' to 'in my wanderings, I always return to you' to 'I have loved you more than any being in all the world whom I’ve ever loved' -- Armand simply does not talk to or about anyone else like this in canon. The depth and intensity of Armand's love for Lestat has been a very persistent thread since TVL through to BC and it seems to be rooted in a genuine passion and appreciation for Lestat's character, flaws and all (because oh boy, can Armand list them all or what?).

I adore them as a ship, but this is not the scene in BC that has me kicking my little legs with glee (honestly, I find it tragic for all involved):

“Fool,” he said again. His voice was roughened now by emotion he couldn’t suppress. “I have always loved you,” he said. “I have loved you more than any being in all the world whom I’ve ever loved. I have loved you more than Louis. I have loved you more even than Marius. And you have never given me your love. I would be your most faithful counselor, if you allowed it. But you don’t. Your eyes pass over me as if I don’t exist. And so they always have.”

“I hate you as much as I have ever loved you,” he said. [...]. I understand the very definition of ‘hate’ when I think of you.” ~ Armand, BC

Like, it's heartbreaking! I don't want this like this! Your ask is related to Armand's POV and I've already posted at length how the text (and Anne) very clearly states that Lestat does, in fact, love Armand very much so I won't get into that further here, but... yeah, yikes. I want better for Armand, I want Louis. 🤧

I'm sad now.

Interpretation 2: Armand does not love Lestat more than Louis, Marius, (or Daniel). This seems to be the more popular read and I totally get why, and I can work with it in theory!

If Armand wanted to shock Lestat back to life and into reacting and doing something about the situation, throwing Louis's and Marius's names around seems like a decent bet. Loving Louis and Marius deeply is something that Lestat can understand, it's something he and Armand have in common; it's yet another thing that bonds them together for better or worse.

Daniel isn't anyone particularly special to Lestat, what would be the point in Armand bringing him up at a time like this? He's a cunning guy, he's choosing his words carefully.

Interpretation 3: Armand's straight up traumatized and broken thinking Marius and Louis are dead and gone, and he's desperately trying to cling to Lestat for dear life because he's the only one he has left (channel Anne and forget about Daniel for a second here). Unfortunately, all their issues that have been festering and compounding since 1791 rear their ugly head and explode rather spectacularly.

What you get is a combination of 'I love you more than anyone; I hate you more than anyone.'

RIP.

Interpretation 4: Armand loves Daniel most of all. And I think I typically tie it into the second one. Yes, Armand loves Daniel more than Lestat, Louis, and Marius. No, he's not going mention him to Lestat for reasons listed above and/or he's not going to downplay his love for Daniel like that. He's a gentleman!

Bonus Interpretation 5: Anne forgot Daniel, plain and simple; I waste years of my life.

All that being said, I don't think Armand walks around with a hierarchy in his head of everyone he loves. He obviously has an abundance of love to give and he loves so fiercely! Pick your read and run with it, I sure do ;)

[rosalind-hawkins]

My YGO Hetero Ships: Part 1

Wanted to make a little post about my Yugioh hetero ships because I feel like I don't talk about them much. And then the post wasn't little, oh well. Mostly Trustshipping and Polarshipping rants.

Peachshipping is a bit of a foregone conclusion for me. It's intuitive and I think they work so well together and are good for each other. I use it as a world-filling background ship a lot because it's just so... obvious to me? And wholesome, don't forget wholesome. It's sweet, it's positive, it's healthy. I don't have a strong grasp on either character which is why I haven't written it, and I don't feel passionately about it, but I do support it.

Blueshipping was the very first ship I ever wrote in my very first fanfic ever, and while I do support the ship, I haven't written it since then. There is implied past Mizushipping in Rock Bottom, but Kisara still dies like canon, so tragic ending and Seth is rekt. Like Peachshipping, this one is a no-brainer for me, it just only exists when Kisara gets to live/come back, because otherwise it's pure angst and tragedy.

Trustshipping is in the future for a current unfinished fic but I haven't actually written it otherwise. Currently working on a one-shot wip with my husband for it though. This is one that I do feel quite passionately about because I think Ishizu is one of the few people that even has a chance at getting close to Kaiba, in terms of purely canonical characterizations. And in terms of non-pure canonical characterizations (aka the fun stuff), there's even more potential for passion and romance. I think they've both had to grow up too fast, take care of their little brothers, deal with abusive fathers, make difficult decisions, and be forced into a role that they didn't ask for/weren't ready for. There will be understanding, patience, and compassion there, mostly just from Ishizu but you get the idea. The dragon doesn't want to be tamed but gradually realizes the benefits of the arrangement. She's strong-spirited in a quiet way and she won't let Kaiba treat her poorly. People might think she's Kaiba's trophy wife at first, being exotic and beautiful, but I think she can absolutely hold her own with poise, class, and wit. Whenever she has to go to a snobby social event with him, people will gradually realize that he didn't tame her, she tamed him. Ishizu the dragon-tamer. He is her dragon, she is his queen. She's not a trophy wife, she's not a gold-digger. Neither of them are a prize to be won. This is a partnership, and if you ever disrespect one of them in front of the other, you will be flayed with their words. She will also absolutely have her own career in Egyptology/Archaeology which helps to discourage the conception that she married him for any reason besides her love for him.

Polarshipping is another one that I think I've only written once, and it was in the context of Ettushipping, but I stan it quite hard. I won't shut up about it anytime Mai and Joey are in a scene together when I watch Yugioh with my husband. ("Omg look at the way he smiles at her! And look at the way she looks at him! And OMG he would die for her, this boy is too pure!!") I think I've used it as a background ship before a couple times maybe? But I love their canon storyline together and their dynamic (and I can even appreciate what happens for them in Season Four, even though that season kinda ruins Mai and does her all kinds of dirty, Joey's determination to help her despite her turning on them, despite Tristan saying "you're better off letting her go because I don't want to see you get hurt again", is one of the sweetest things and Joey is such a puppy and once they finally get together, I hope Mai understands what a Good Boy she has and absolutely spoils him). I do feel strongly about them and I want to write them at least one-shot at some point.

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

Been talking about 2gether here-and-there for a while but seeing your attitude towards it has got me itching to talk a bit about my thoughts on it. Because god, do I have thoughts.

So, I went into 2gether with low expectations. I heard it was subpar from MDL and I don’t like fake dating that much. But with a combination of curiosity over one of the biggest BLs historically and my personal interest in Bright and Win coming off the Bright cameo in Enigma and my enjoyment of Good Old Days, I went into the show. (Probably a different path from most to go from the non-BL to the BL but ahaha)

First thing. The show is very cheap. This shows even moreso because it’s BrightWin? Like, this was their first GMMTV show (and first for Win) so the company definitely didn’t have the drive to put as much money behind the show as they would for a show like F4 Thailand, but goddamn. Second thing. The music in this show was… huh. Were the guitars just not tuned sometimes? What are some of these? I say this as someone who actually loved BL singing, so it was a massive letdown I only enjoyed a few of the (very numerous) musical scenes. The OST for the show was great! But.

Sarawatine are character archetypes I really enjoy in general. I like weird, panicking, cheery bisexual losers (got me through Kiekoi!) and kind of grumpy and cold but devoted to their love interest guys. But the way the show wrote them was so disappointing? I would have expected so much more from the show for its main couple? Like, make me care about the characters, not just hope I’ll ogle at the hot actors and get through the show thanks to the scenarios, please. I usually don’t harp on physical intimacy between characters, also, but 2gether was so uncomfortable. And it sticks out like a sore thumb when the famous line of the show mentions kissing until dropping. There is NO kissing until dropping going on in the Sarawatine apartment, that’s for sure. And seeing some of the subpar acting between them just generally… I wasn’t enjoying myself much.

I actually found the show quite funny in certain scenes. Comedy is hard to judge a show on objectively, but I’ll say I did laugh. But I did not get emotional with the show, even when it wanted me to be. The Mil nonsense was hard to forgive, as was the “girl Sarawat liked!” Oh no! (My sarcasm could not be more embedded here) I genuinely started to feel pain watching the show because of how frustrating I found how Sarawat was dealing with the situation and how Tine was reacting. Like, I don’t care. Please. No one here wanted this cheap emotional climax. Especially after the weird time skip post-getting together.

And. The portrayal of women and the stereotyping of Green. All the women in this show are bland (but cute, thanks to the actresses, at the very least) or actively such a “girl who gets in the way of our BL boys!” that it hurts. And Green. I don’t enjoy when a show uses a feminine gay character as a source of ridicule. Green is seen as lesser by Tine and the others, and yeah, he acts like kind of a creep sometimes in the beginning. But the show writes him like that with a purpose. Of course the one who is openly gay and feminine is also the one pushing boundaries and being a predator. Amazing representation, 2gether. It got worse when it turned out Dim was abusive, and Tine just lets him in? And they get back together? No???? Like. Why. What. Who? Watching Still 2gether, I tried to pretend that whole scene never happened and DimGreen was just a tumultuous on-again off-again relationship, because I actually did find some of their Still 2gether scenes funny, but no. I could not forget. I appreciate the attempts at saving them by Aof, but no. Could not be undone. Green was funny as hell in the second season for me, though, so I’m hoping he dumped that abuser’s ass for good after the show ended.

MilPhukong was… fine. I felt absolutely nothing for them, despite the time invested. I actually quite enjoyed s2 ManType, just for the established relationship of it all and seeing them get along well, so I forgive them, but the s1 plotlines for them were questionable (Man, stop being a creep. Type, what are you doing with irt your brother? Really?)

I think Still2gether was an improvement (director change, yay!) but the emotions still didn’t work for me. I enjoyed the more slice-of-life style of the series and I felt the characters were more likable, but it was a short series with little actually going on. It did leave me off with a much better taste in my mouth, and better scenes all around, though. I imagine I could watch this season again and not groan my way through it. I’d probably even enjoy it if I take it as it is. The foundation can’t be forgotten, though. It is ever-present as a problem.

Oh, and here are some of my (very ineloquent) thoughts on 2gether as I live-blogged it:

This is stupid. Side couple on screen rn is stupid. Tine being a crying cannot communicate uke is stupid. Sarawat is being stupid.

Do not enjoy this simplification but I was very frustrated at the time. I still am.

Okay, now to pull back a little. I can totally understand why people would’ve loved this show. Because I’m 100% sure if I had watched 2gether before other shows, back in 2020, I’d have ignored most of the flaws out of my excitement for a show with cute scenes and pretty boys. Especially at the beginning of the pandemic, and especially if this was my first BL drama. I think that if you just settle into it with that mindset, you can find enjoyment in the show. And honestly, I’m very happy about that. That we’re at this point, with shows like Not Me, Last Twilight, etc. If 2gether is a show that seems horribly outdated now, in just a few years, I think that spells great things for the future of GMMTV BL, even if it isn’t a steady thing (looks at the tournament we’re in). And despite my words on them, I did in fact end up with a soft spot for Sarawatine. I think they’re neat in theory. In practice, not so much, but here I am anyway. The two of them definitely are important to BL, especially in GMMTV, and I respect them for that.

Don’t think I’ll ever rewatch 2gether, though.

I wanna preface this by saying that even though I really don't like 2gether, I don't rembember it in nearly as much detail as you do. I know I don't like it 'cause I immediately didn't while I was watching it and right after when it was still fresh in my mind.

Now, that said, some of the things you mentioned did spark recognition and in general I tend to agree with you. The Green thing, oh Iord! And the guitar........ Unlike you, I tend to shudder when BL boys bring out the guitar so for me that whole show was a real test.

Honestly, I don't need to go into detail more than this 'cause you already put it so eloquently yourself and I also understand what you mean about watching it back when it aired. I'm probably going to regret mentioning it but TharnType also aired in 2019 and is extremely beloved by some. I'm not saying I agree - and I'm generally wary of people who say it's their favorite BL ever - but I certainly understand it and my personal feelings about it too are so complicated I don't even know if I'd be able to put them into words.

What I'm trying to say is that while I have specific preferences and opinions on every BL in this list and many others not on this list, I respect that some of the judgements others have on them come from a very contextual and personal place. As is also the way I feel about the shows I hold dearest! Still, I appreciate the conversations we've been having on all of them 🩷

[har-rison-s]

freaks

eddie munson x afab!reader

a/n: so hi. I hope you guys liked my previous eddie piece. I’ve had a fun and rough couple days and actually the whole week or the last fucking few months lol :D I’m finally back to writing a lot and having time to myself too actually. I love writing and eddie’s a very interesting character to write, also hard because he’s so charismatic and explosive and theatrical. I love him can you tell? also me and him are kinda similar :’) and our mbtis are compatible.... anyways. your good will be updated, too.... this one-shot is I guess pretty much a self insert. I’ve felt really insecure again the past few days and I don’t really have anyone who understands my struggles and insecurities so as always in those cases I’ve decided to write it all out. in combination with a little dream scenario of mine + breaking the cheerleader / freak stereotype that is frequent in eddie x reader fics. not that I’m complaining or like hating on them !! I love that dynamic a lot. just wanted to experiment with this kind of dynamic, and I hope I make it work. i also wrote from my heart because in school i was always bullied and called names just like eddie was, i was always the freak, and so that cafeteria scene was very comforting to me, and representative of me & others like me. so i'm incorporating that into here, too. I have two-three more eddie one-shot ideas. let me know if you want to be tagged when I post them. love you all. happy reading <3

disclaimer: this is set in like ’85, making eddie 19-20, the reader 18-19 and the kids in their respective younger years, 13-15, though they make close to zero appearance here.

masterlist

stranger things masterlist

word count: 3.4k

tags: bullying, nm else

gif credit goes to owner!

being different in a small town society such as Hawkins isn’t easy. you get all types of nasty treatment from people around you, from the general public and even, occasionally, newspapers and reality shows on tv. hard for anyone to deal with that kind of treatment.

however, when you’re a girl, it is much, much worse to be different. not liking the music all the other girls like is crime number one. dressing differently and wearing different make-up is crime number two. having different views and behaving differently and, quite frankly, more naturally than all the other girls, is crime number three. and it’s the most serious one.

it’s not like you ever wanted to be different. there’s plenty of those people at school and in society, but you’ve never been one of them. you just are different, always have been and actually always will be different, too. you guess you’re just wired differently, not like everyone else. something in you is by default different, and you won’t change that. it’s not like you could change that, even, and you have tried. looking at your peers, you’re sure you don’t want to change that. being different has its pros and cons, as does everything else.

even before your friends had decided to ditch you because you were just too bizarre for them, they didn’t understand you like you needed them to, or thought they would. in your friend group, you didn’t get everything completely off the bat, you didn’t catch on, and were only included in hang-outs and parties because you just always had been, as if it was an unspoken rule that they couldn’t break. until a point, of course.

you were never the prettiest among your friends, that was a fact to you. most days it hurt, and still does. because you still haven’t been asked out by anyone in your life ever. no one’s ever had a crush on you, not even an embarrassing crush from someone you totally didn’t like. no boy has shown even a slight bit of interest in you ever, and it’s not like you need male validation to survive. you make it out like it doesn’t affect you, like it’s nothing important.

but when your friends started talking about their first kiss, which you haven’t ever had, either; and when they started talking about going on dates, getting boyfriends and having sex; and when your parents had started to ask you about boys, especially your mom, telling you she’s sort of already waiting on you to bring a boy home to introduce to her; every girl in this society should have had at least one boyfriend by now, that includes you.

when all of that comes to the front of your mind, and you’re reminded of the topic more than daily, you can’t ignore the hurt, the absence, the loneliness that comes with it. you’ve never felt a guy’s hands on you, not in any way or with any random reason, not even a hug or a stupid handshake. no guy has ever asked you for a dance, has never approached you for anything else. you’ve never had a first kiss or a first time, and honestly the thought of having them now scares you much less than the thought of never having them, as opposed to how it used to scare you before.

you like to put on a face that says you don’t care that you haven’t been with anyone. people at school have deemed you both sides of the spectrum—a prude and a slut. oh, we can’t forget the mean bitch title. calling you a prude you understand, but a bitch? you’re mean to people who deserve it, and have a defensive nature over-all. a slut?! now that has absolutely no back-up.

boys have always leaned more towards making fun of you than being genuine to you, friendly to you. and you act like it’s all fine, which it isn’t, but no one wants to see you cry every day and wear a sad face either. so you put up your best mask.

max mayfield, though a few years younger than you, and still not in high school, had been the only girl you could name that felt most similar to you. she also always stood up for herself, spoke bluntly and gave people her piece of mind. the only difference between you two being that she has a boyfriend. even she! you sometimes think. here she is, about to enter high school, a boyfriend by her side, and you’re on your last year of high school without a boyfriend, without any experience in that field. if you compare it, people, and a hidden part of you, would call that very depressing.

but it’s not really your fault, is it? even though you often tell yourself the opposite. you dress in clothes that are comfortable, that feel like you. same goes for the make-up you use, and same for the music you blast in your ears with your walkman. you’re being yourself, and you’ve become angry that people, mostly your friends and guys at school, can’t see and appreciate that. it’s not like they’re embracing themselves, unless they really are shallow-minded sheep who like to put down others for fun.

most people in hawkins aren’t so different. the ones who are stand out like a sore thumb. a group of those thumbs is called the hellfire club. group of boys who play d&d, whose leader is a notorious metal head and trouble-maker. not that he can help it. as much as your being different by default from everyone else, eddie munson was born with something wicked in his blood, in his dna, that he can’t shake, no matter how he’d try.

during lunch, you always sit in the corner, or somewhere near the back of the cafeteria. mostly because you don’t belong to a group that you could sit with. and also because your ears don’t find the sound of people chewing very pleasing. you can’t help but overhear the cheer team’s—half of your former friends’—conversations. or the jocks’. or the party people. that all usually makes you pull out your walkman and blast distracting and drowning-out music into your ears, just like you’re doing now.

but when you see a certain someone prancing about his club’s table, or even walking around the cafeteria and even stepping on stools and tables, your attention’s been swerved into a better lane. but now, when you suddenly feel that certain someone’s voice above and then next to your ear, as well as his body plopping theatrically down next to yours, your attention’s been utterly stolen away, even from your music.

with confused eyes and drawn eyebrows, you pull your headphones down so they’re hanging around your hair-covered neck, and turn your head to look at the leader of the hellfire club. a wide, mischievous grin is etched into his face, his eyes looking into yours, shining. and the next second he’s whisking your headphones up and away from you and putting them on his own ears. “wha—” you can’t even think of the question to ask him as you watch him position the phones over his ears, not bothering his perfectly messy hair, of course, and diving into your selection of music for the day. soon he begins even bopping his head to it, but the moment is gone as soon as it came.

eddie munson takes the headphones off his head and hands them back to you. as you place your hand on the device, you warily look at him. “that’s a great song right there,” he says to you, his deep voice nearly shaking your headphones and nearly touching hands with its thunder, how much deeper it is than you’ve heard, “though i do enjoy the more lively stuff osborn has to offer. much more metal.” he nods to his own statement as he still looks at you. probably awaiting a reaction. yet you have none, at least not yet, for this approach has completely bedazzled you. scratch that eddie’s been deemed the school and town freak—you don’t care about it, in fact, it makes you like him even more—he has sat down next to you and started a conversation about music, your most passionate hobby. “well, hey, i thought the school meanie would have at least one or two mean words for me.” eddie admits with a chuckle. you appreciate that he didn’t use the more vulgar terminology on you, and a smile sneaks into your features as you take your headphones fully back. you press pause on your walkman and begin wrapping the wire around the set of headphones.

“it’s not you who deserves those words,” you finally tell him your honest opinion, and that makes eddie raise his eyebrows in slight surprise. that’s not what girls in this school usually have to say about him. he swings the leg of his that was hanging over the stool over to the other one, so he could sit even closer to you. you don’t know why he’d want to, you frankly have no clue, but you don’t pull away, or push him away, “and i’m not a bitch, really, i just tell people my honest, open thoughts. they’re just not what they want to hear,” you shoot eddie a side glance. he has now taken fascination in your bag that you’d carefully laid down on the table in front of you. all your pins, all your embroidery pieces, all the patches you have. you truly are almost what he expected, “which includes that... black sabbath isn’t metal.” you shake your head. eddie rests his hand across his chest, right where his heart is, and makes a shocked face. you chuckle. “it’s dirty, heavy rock, really.” you shrug.

“how... dare you,” eddie says theatrically, “besmirch ozzy osborn’s name and level of metalness!” he shakes his head and plays a victim of hard disappointment with gestures and facial expressions. it makes you smile. you don’t know what it is—eddie or someone disagreeing with you—but you let it make you smile. “maybe you are a meanie after all.”

you shrug. “i’ll leave that for you to decide yourself,” you tell him and try to carry on with actually eating your lunch, “you on a diet, munson?”

“huh?” the man blinks, really truly caught off guard by the question, not realising what it implies.

“are you on a diet and have deemed me as a distracting spectacle?” you ask him a more in-depth question. yet he’s still blind as to what it could mean. “why are you here?” you offer a straight-forward question, and turn your head to face him completely. eddie gives you a half-grin now.

“what, you scared to be seen with the school freak?” he asks. and even though he meant the question with humour, even teasing, there’s a hint of insecurity in his voice and eyes when he speaks his deemed title. freak. you can immediately tell he doesn’t like that title as much as he promises that he does, as much as he’s embraced it.

“please, munson,” you say with your mouth half-full, “if anyone’s here a freak, it’s me. ever met another girl in this school who listens to metal? dresses like me? has dyed black hair?” you gesture at yourself to make a point. eddie snorts a chuckle. he likes your attire.

“thought black sabbath wasn’t metal.” he says in a quieter voice, a playful, but sincere smile on his lips. it’s also a shy one, which is a rare occurrence on him. his smiles are always big, loud, wide. eddie appreciates that you don’t say the word freak the way he does. to him you sound proud, or at least acknowledging of that title and maybe also the status it provides. you give him a deadpan stare.

“come on,” you say, “if i listened to only one band, i’d go insane. don’t tell me you’re a fake metal fan and don’t know metallica.”

“know them? my fingers have bled for them,” eddie argues, “i swear to you,” he crosses his heart with his hand and nearly bows in front of you, “i know all their best songs perfectly on guitar.” eddie makes a theatrical gesture of his hand, a sort-of bow in front of you.

“is that so?” you challenge him, and turn your body more towards him, bending your black-skirt clad knee up to your chest, tucking your chin over it as you look at the very friendly and understanding man in front of you. you know he’s older than you, you know this is his second year that he’s been pushed back. but that doesn’t really matter now. he’s very much like you. that trumps all. “why don’t you prove it and play them to me sometime?” you’re surprised at how bold you’re being right now with him. is this you asking him out on a date? you’re asking eddie munson on a date. are you?you hope you are, and you hope he gets the message.

a soft, even shy smile appears on eddie’s lips, and he utters a quiet chuckle. you think you even see his cheeks heat up with a slight blush. wow, this man is easy. easier than you expected. “that’s what i came over to ask you,” he says and looks up into your eyes with his big doe ones. they resemble a dog’s eyes, though because of eddie’s nature, you’d write him off more as a cat.

“me?” you play along with his usual theatrics, raising your eyebrows and making gestures with your hands that imitate his previous ones. it makes him smile, you can see that. “you sure you haven’t mistaken me for someone else? i’m the prude bitch of the school, remember?” you remind him. eddie has a chuckle.

“well, as you stated before,” he starts to say, and you can see that he actually is flustered. for whatever reason. couldn’t be you, right? “you’re the only girl in this forsaken school who listens to metal, so,” eddie continues, “who else would be interested in a documentary film about the rise of heavy rock and metal music in the US of A?” he grins as he spreads two pastel blue coloured tickets on the stool between you both. only now you notice he’s been sitting with his legs sprawled over the stool again for a while now.

your eyes light up, slowly looking from the tickets to eddie, and your eyebrows raise. you’re glad that part of your face is hidden by being tucked behind your knee, because eddie would have a field day at seeing how you’re blushing right now. though you’re pretty sure he knows that you are, anyway. he’s the kind of person who gets under people’s skin—positively and negatively—and loves to tease them. you, included. though he hasn’t really done that yet. “you wanna go see it? with me?” he’s got you so good that any façade of yours would have fallen, if you would have had one. you can’t hide your pleasant and big surprise at his offer. he came over to you exactly, precisely, only you and no one else. does he like you?

eddie nods his head at your question, lips tight in a closed smile. another rare expression on him. everything about him is loud, and yet with you, now, at this table, he’s gone quiet. that is really unusual.

“won’t you be bored? you must be a walking metal and rock encyclopedia,” you make a point in your ramble out of nervousness. surely he’s not asking you on a date. is he? what if he’s playing a prank on you? what if he’ll be a no-show? is he really asking you to go see a movie about a shared interest with you? is this real? all these questions and doubts have you feeling very nervous, “you know everything already, you’ll just be... mouthing along to each word the narrator says.”

eddie laughs at your speculations about him and his music knowledge—which are flattering, of course—and his beautiful smile catches your eye. it’s almost like the smile doesn’t belong to someone with eddie’s façade. freak. metal-head. nerd. mean and scary and defensive. his smile (and his whole demeanour around you now) is the complete opposite of all that. but, you guess, appearances and reputations, are quite deceiving. “believe it or not, i haven’t seen it yet. thank you for the compliment, but uh,” he shakes his head and moves his stare from the tickets to you, he keeps switching back and forth between those two, “one man can’t know everything.”

“but he tries to,” you say with a fond smile, that same blush still tinting your cheeks. eddie nods, and his eyes solemnly stay on yours. his smile fades a little, and his face almost becomes... more serious? if you dare say.

“so, whadda ya say,” eddie says and raises the tickets up again to highlight his offer, “7pm tomorrow, you, me and a metal documentary against the world?” he offers again in a creative way, and his lips spread into a grin.

you’re about to grin just as wide, let him see the blush he’s been making you have after all in all its glory, and tell eddie munson yes, yes, absolutely, yes, when a nasty remark from someone distracts you. “well, if it isn’t the prude with the freak?” jason carver, the so-deemed king of hawkins high, captain of the basketball team, says with a big ugly grin on his face as he comes over to your table. the two people at the far end of the table sit still in their places, only it seems they’ve just now noticed eddie has come over and sat here with you. you ignore the looks of them and momentarily glance at eddie before strongly moving your eyes over to jason. “you were such a nice girl, y/n, why would a freak like him be in your taste.” jason says now, giving eddie that nasty look-over as he mentions him.

you sigh and try not to think about how that comment makes eddie feel. or rather, you think about that rather than how it makes you feel. “what, are you mad that i never had a crush on perfect little jason?” you tease, enjoying doing it with a mocking expression on your face, and see how visibly the boy’s face falls. you grin wide, the grin growing close to eddie’s visually. sort of resembles a little devil, as well. you’ve always loved to grin like that when teasing people. you grab your things and take the two tickets eddie’s offered in your hands, too, and get up from your seat.

you ignore the looks from half the cafeteria now, nearly all eyes on you and eddie. he cluelessly looks up at you, a silent hope to not leave him alone here in his eyes. “come on, we have class,” you say to him just in time as the bell rings, alerting everyone for that very same thing. eddie grins wide, matching your grin, and gets up as well, with you, “try adjusting that stick up your ass, carver. or ask one of your buddies to do it for you, yeah?” you offer to jason as parting words, a grin on your lips all the same as you look at him over your shoulder before walking to the exit with eddie.

eddie munson gives jason the regular bird-flipping attitude as he walks off to class with you, and he does so happily. he adores the look on jason’s face after your assassination on him, and eddie can’t help but gush to you about it. “that was sooooo,” he scrunches up his nose at you cutely, and you giggle. your faces as close as they’ve ever been, “fucking badass.” you giggle again, this time the giggles turning into solid laughter. i adore you, eddie nearly says, but stops on the first word because you speak up.

“to answer your question—yes,” you tell him sweetly, “i’ll love for you to take me to see that movie.” you say, raising the tickets in question upwards. eddie’s face completely changes – it rises like the sun, you could say. wide smile, wide eyes, a happy expression over-all. god, this boy is golden. “only condition - you’ll show me all your guitar tricks after.”

eddie blushes and makes a cute smile. “you got yourself a deal, sweetheart.”

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[meraki-yao]

https://www.tumblr.com/meraki-yao/744553456721870848/you-answered-me-so-kindly-that-i-take-the-liberty

I agree with everything you wrote in your answer. There's no need to add anything else. I just want to give another little point of view: as much as I regret that in Rwrb there were no explicit scenes or more intimate scenes, I'm happy that it was edited like this, because people don't just talk about kisses or caresses, but also of Alex and Henry's speeches, of the story and of the message that the film sends. M&G had good intentions, to bring to light a dirty story of sex and power so clearly sex, orgies and everything else were at the basis of this project... but people only talk about Nicholas' butt and only the video in which he fucks with the other protagonists. I've read very few reviews of his acting performance, but plenty of the rest. And I believe that the same could happen in TIOY, considering that there has already been controversy over the theme of the film. Basically, I hope that Nicholas throws himself into different projects in the near future, where we focus more on the emotional aspect and less on the physical one... besides obviously the hope of seeing him again in the sequel to RWRB... I think Matthew is managed to make the most of it, so I hope they can get back to work together soon. Thanks for your possible response ❤️

I haven't quite looked into the reactions of M&G but from what I've seen on the Chinese side, you're right. There's a lot in M&G, it is a good show (it's not perfect but overall it's still good), but instead of the acting, the complex and detailed acting performance by the cast, or the costume and set design, the most thing talked about it how much sex there is.

But I would say that's the audience's fault, not the show, because all of the sex scenes in M&G were done with intent and either establishes character (see the opening of ep3 and ep7) or pushes the plot (see the last scenes of ep 2 and ep3). It's necessary. It's the audience's fault for solely focusing on "oh wow they're fucking damn". I would say the marketing feeds into that as well? If you looks at the posters the subtext of "this is a sexy show" is very obvious (George's costume, King James... drooling over him, George is literally named the seducer which true but ... eh) Even in the "describe the show in three words" most of the cast said "sex" which, okay, but also feeds the (untrue) narrative of "this is just a show about fucking your way through the court" I wish the media picked up on more than that. Actually, now that I think of it, in every interview the boys got to do for RWRB they get asked about sex and intimacy in a similar manner, even though for rwrb the focus is on the emotional aspect instead. So this might be a change the media needs to make.

We're not in a position to tell Nick what to do with his career though (other than obvious, definitive red flags that is) so we'll just have to see what steps he wants to take next. Plus even if for the audience it's just sex scenes, for him it's learning a genuine new skill on acting intimacy.

[robotslenderman]

Pls do Wendy, cock robin and calebros pls

Wendy:

favorite thing about them Will Jack Sparrow her way through shit. Has poor impulse control. Ballsy. No survival instinct whatsoever. Makes her a blast to write.

least favorite thing about them This doesn't really spotlight until the RS sequel fic (although it does show up in RS), but she puts her own needs above her principles. Even though she did eventually speak up about the Kennels in RS, it took her ten years to get there, and she never once tried to strike out on her own. She's afraid of being lonely, of being on her own, of dramatic change, and in her next fic that's going to show up and test her big time. And she is going to fail that test. She angsts a lot about being a good person but, deep down, she does not want to be. In the City that Never Sleeps she joins the bad guys who murdered someone she knew. Pre-RS she never left the Warren despite the Kennels deeply distressing her, until she had something else lined up. And in the upcoming fic she's close friends with a guy who's done some pretty bad shit and... does nothing, bc she misses him when he's not there.

favorite line I honestly can't be bothered to check. XD

brOTP I love her dynamic with Thomas Arturo. Whenever I start writing them in a scene together they just bounce off each other and have the best banter. I have to cut so much of it out bc it's mostly just blatant self indulgence lmao. Gerard Rafin is a VERY close second. She'd do well as platonic life partners with either of them tbh.

OTP Despite the chemistry she has with quite a few characters there's never been a romantic connection that's really jumped out at me. I mean, I ship her and Thomas romantically too, but only because their platonic chemistry is so great. The romantic aspect takes a backseat and doesn't hold a candle to it.

nOTP I love her and Gerard and I know people ship it like hell but for some reason whenever I consider the possibility of it when writing Wendy just gets super squicked out. I don't even know why.

random headcanon In a daemon AU, she has a ferret as a daemon: absolutely batshit insane, no attention span except when she's hyperfocusing on something that will probably kill her, constantly gets into shit she shouldn't.

unpopular opinion It's not unpopular YET but she's not nearly as ethical as RS paints her to be, and ohhh boy I'm hoping I don't get too much backlash for that in the sequel fic :X

song i associate with them Clubbed to Death -- The Matrix OST

favorite picture of them Alas, there is none.

I was getting deja vu then realised it was because you'd already send CR and Calebros in before and I never finished the draft for that, so here we go:

Cock Robin

favorite thing about them

Disabled Justicar. Badass. VTM isn't exactly known for its equity.

least favorite thing about them

Obsessed with Anarchs. We all need our hobbies I guess.

favorite line

Out of the ones I wrote for him?

"[Calebros] never learned to be a real Nosferatu because he’d never learned to be human."

brOTP

I love him and his baby sister okay

OTP

@orodrethsgeek ships him with her OC Jay, the vampiric equivalent of that black bird that dances for its mate, and I love them

nOTP

Can't think of any.

random headcanon

He's either very flappable or very *un*flappable. No in between.

unpopular opinion

I barely know of any opinions on the guy

song i associate with them

There's a scene I wrote with him and Wendy in the last chapter of the fic and when I was playing it I was listening to this on repeat:

The End -- Hans Zimmer, The Dark Knight Rises OST

favorite picture of them'

Absolutely ADORE this one:

He just happens to be a normal dude whose face is Like That. I love it, I love the cigarette, I love how he looks so thoughtful with a face that can't even make facial expressions, it's so humanising.

Calebros

favorite thing about them

Not a complete dick. It's a low bar but most Kindred have shovels.

least favorite thing about them

Gerard Rafin's right, this guy does think too much and do too little.

favorite line

One I wrote, where Gerard said something in French and Calebros went, "did he tell me to shut up?"

(Yes. He did.)

brOTP

Don't have one.

OTP

Don't have one. Tho I'd be interested to plonk him in a scene with Aisling, I think they'd get along well.

nOTP

Don't have one.

random headcanon

Canon acts as if he turned out fine but the Kennels screwed him up far more than he or anyone around him realises, and is a big part of the reason he's so passive.

unpopular opinion

I find him a bit dull, but I don't think that's a bad thing for him to be as a character. I wouldn't change that about him.

song i associate with them

None in particular.

favorite picture of them

I genuinely find this one funny:

[rising-above-stars]

i wanna know about your characters :3

!!!!! i love them so much i have written bits and pieces i have an entire google drive dedicated to this series

im going to put a read more because this might get long

So first off we have Taylor Connery. He's sort of the first character we focus on. This is very much a fantasy series and I often call him 'accidental King Arthur'. Taylor attended a very elite and strict all boys school that specialised in training knights (there is an all girls counterpart school). The schools are just full of government propoganda and elite teams are often picked to shadow police.

Taylor isn't quite meeting the standards. He's not even being given weapons that suit him. He's not doing as well as he should, so he just gets left behind. But he has this desperate need to prove he's worthy. At some point he breaks into the school's armoury and steals a sword mounted in stone and he improves a lot.

Then things start getting all weird. Taylor isn't quite good with his negative emotions (the cursed shadow dagger he found doesn't help) and he blacks out during missions and such and is often the only survivor but he has no recollection of doing anything, even if there is very clear evidence he did. There's clearly something up with him, but the government is much too worried about protecting the image of the schools they fund so they cover it up. He's required to join the young adult covert rescue guild the local council is starting up so they can keep an eye on him.

I love him, he is so important to me. He's a wonderful swordsman and at some point comes into possessions of Excalibur and forms a connection with Nimue, who offers to train him. He was never supposed to own any of the weapons he has, but he does. He's disrupted the King Arthur time loop (is the best way to put it). He's fiercely loyal, very hyperactive, and very deadly.

Then we have Jade Laureate, but she prefers to go by Jade. She's an archer who just so happens to basically share a consciousness with Artemis. One of her distant ancestors made a deal with the fates: they get to share some of the powers of a god, yet they have to live out their stories. She goes on an anarchy arc by the end of the series (or that is what's planned. She gets a well deserved villain arc). She keeps to herself a lot, but she grows very close to Taylor and Aleso (basically siblings). She's not very great at taking care of herself, often putting everyone else before herself. She's sassy, bitter, and it's a great surprise when she shows affection to someone. She doesn't trust very easily.

Aleso is the definition of a hero complex. He has such a huge ego. Him and Jay basically have a queer platonic rivalry. They did not like each other at first, (the blackmail did not help), but Jay did reluctantly admit that Aleso was pretty good and they could do with having him on their team. He is defintely the more experienced out of the three, coming from being part of the youngest team to ever win the highest guild tournament awards. He does care a lot about people, but because of how much he cares and how much of a hero complex he has, he doesn't let his closest friends in on some of the bigger plans he has even though it would be very useful for them to be in on it as well. He's essentially a magic user.

These three are the main focus of the series. Very much rivals to friends, essentially sibling coded in my mind.

There's also Ajgiel, Aleso's childhood best friend who shows up for revenge at some point (I wrote a very wonderful scene where Ajgiel and Jay reluctantly dance together at a fancy charity evening because they don't want to cause a scene).

Then there's the members of the theatre troupe:

There's Harlow Mecurious, Jay's queer platonic partner. Their focus is on languages and communications, the only person to make Jay soft.

Cam, the owner of a sentient mimic bar. He's one of the very few people who chose to not learn how to use magic. He's a good fighter, good with a sword, and learning to do fire tricks would also help greatly in combat. (The bar is named Mimikos. I like to imagine when it's not in full bar form, its just a mini version of the bar but with legs that follows Cam around)

Lester Mitter is another favourite. His father learnt necromancy, his mother learnt plant magic, he learnt both. He summons dinosaur skeletons, using plants to make up the muscle. Usually they're just for entertainment.

Sarah is basically a phoenix. A lot of fire imagery, she does have a tendency to burst into flames and 'die' at times. Sometimes when she's stressed, sometimes to be dramatic. Usually to be dramatic.

There's Zak who has a connection somehow to the Midgard Serpent (not fleshed out), Jayda who works with animals, and Haleigh who is essentially angry Tinkerbell

This is so messy and not as coherent as I would like because it's late but I love them so much. I have so many thoughts on them and the plot to this whole story and it's all on a google drive (the purpose was so my co-author/illustrator could see it but he is hopeless and doesn't listen so we're really not making much progress)

[writingwhilecaffeinated]

20 Questions for Fan Fic Writers~

First, thank you @crotchety-old-emu for tagging me, it was kind of you, and I had fun doing this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49, admittedly quite a few unfinished. I’m hoping now that I’m older and on a better roll with finishing I’ll go back to some… eventually. This is not including old stuff from FFN and LJ that just either wouldn’t go well on AO3 Or don’t have fandoms to speak of anymore.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

436,778

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Bridgerton. But done Harry Potter, Sense8, The Old Guard, The Little Mermaid (Live Action. Jonah and Halle were precious, ok???), Doctor Who, Julie and the Phantoms, Narnia, Avengers… waaaaaay back on LJ I did some KPOP fandoms and WAAAAAAYYY back on FFN I write for InuYasha, Merlin, Prince of Tennis. Like, I was YOUNG. It was a time. 😆

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. no matter the years (my heart is yours) - Bridgerton Reverse Harem. Penelope with Anthony and Benedict and eventually Colin, but it’s hidden because it’s still set in the Regency. No incest, just good old polyandry. While admittedly the smut scenes are explicit, it had a lot more emotional heart than even I originally planned.

2. Bathymetry of the Heart - Little Mermaid Live Action, telling of Eric/Ariel after they’re reunited. Just emotional fluff.

3. some of it’s transcendental (some of it’s just really dumb) - Bridgerton, Benelope story. Basically season 3 ish if it became Benelope. I had a vision of what I wanted, no one else had written it so I just… did it myself. It is also very sweet and more emotion than what I originally intended. Not as much smut as I thought.

3. Curiosities - continuation of the first Ariel/Eric.

4. Proud of Your Boy - Same as above

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try very hard to respond. I don’t always get to them, but I try to even to those that are just a heart or something. I only don’t respond to outright mean comments. Better to just ignore.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

One that was a one-shot from forever ago, a super weird crossover to. It was soon after the avengers movie came out and it was a crossover with Doctor Who, and Steve fell for River Song but he would never tell her cause she so obviously love the Doctor. Don’t judge me! Honestly it’s a one-shot series called “i defy you stars.”

7. What’s the fic you wrote eith the happiest ending?

Most of them, I’m not good with writing sad endings. ANGSTY middles yeah, but not endings most of the time.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For sure! Mostly on my reverse harem, the ABC+P one. People though I didn’t like Colin for how his character was treated and ended up, and that’s not it at all. Colin was just in a completely different place from his brothers, and in my head even past the story I wrote he grows more and fits into the family created beautifully and maturely, eventually staying home full time. But I didn’t have enough space in that narrative to tell that so it didn’t come off well to most people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I didn’t used to, I used to be very uncomfortable with it. But I wanted something specific in order to tell the story and it just… happened? Now I’ve become a heathen and gotten slightly more kinky with it. 😆

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yup, see above. The Avengers and Doctor Who one for sure.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of/remember.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not in the sense of splitting the writing but definitely in terms of plot planning!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I can’t pick one, I’m sorry. I’m Bridgerton right now it’s Benelope (let me be clear I LOVE Benophie and Polin! I’m just a crackship girly by nature). HP it’s Fremione or Dramione. The Old Guard It’s Nicky/Joe. There’s a lot more I’m forgetting.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Pick Your Poison, a Dramione fic where Hermione enters an underground ring that’s like Russian roulette but with poisons. I liked the idea.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oof um… I’m tough on myself. That’s hard. Can I say “ideas”? Im great at developing plot points and stories, maybe even character reflections.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Details that aren’t what the characters are doing. I focus too much on body movement and not what else is going around that could tell the story.

Oh, and commas are my enemy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Limited personally. If the character knows another language I do my best to research it, but otherwise I avoid.

19. First fandom you write for?

InuYasha on FFN.

20. Favorite fics you’ve written?

Probably some of it’s transcendental (some of it’s just really dumb) because I proved to myself writing that gif I could write a chartered story to completion, and with writing I was proud of.

Also one of my The Old Guard ones, mostly because I wrote a fight scene I was proud of -> When You Least Expect It

Tagging @velvetcovered-brick, my lovely friend who has been helping me talk out my latest fics lately. ♥️♥️♥️ youuuuuu.

[sparxaf]

In terms of inconsistency when it comes to Alex’s pace, I would like to draw your attention to the reassurance scene you can have in the Villa with your boy, where they can assure you of their intentions after their original partner has been all over them. Alex notably says at some point in that conversation (and this is a bit that’s unique to Alex’s route) that he’s “husband material”, and when the MC says something like “not boyfriend material?”, Alex doubles down on how he wants that next level kind of thing.

Keep in mind during this point in the convo, your LI is trying to convince you to stay with them in case your having doubts. So a man who says they “move slow” has told a person he’s interested in that he’s “husband material” on like day 5 of knowing them. (And yes it’s a reality show where they’re isolated with only each other but STILL)

Now in Alex’s defense, and I highly doubt Alex is intentionally written this way and not just suffering from authorial inconsistency, BUT I DIGRESS. In defense of saying he wants slow but acting in a fast manner, I myself and a few other people I’m close with kinda do this in real life. For me personally, I’m usually quite slow with about 96% of the people I dated, doing the same things Alex did of being upfront about where my head’s at but going slow in the physical aspects and other things you would expect in a relationship. But that 4%, again for me personally, was fairly fast paced because I myself ended up being down bad and not even realizing I was on a speeding train towards feelings.

Long ask long, It’s more than likely Alex is just suffering because of bad writing, but there is the chance that Alex is a slow burner usually so that’s what he’s expecting, hence why he’s saying it. And MC is just that like, 4% person that he isn’t even aware he’s falling for at the speed of light. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for drawing my attention by sending this twice 😂 I received the first one, but I ended up with a lot of anons and didn't know where to begin.

Yeah, I played the new eps and I referenced this very thing in my post. He went ALL IN once we were in the main villa. It's not like I don't think there's a world where a person *could* be this way, it's just that it doesn't really work in fiction. At least not the way it's presented in the fiction of the game currently. The tricky part of writing is that it has to be both more real than real and then less real than real. For instance, I have a best friend who is a BIG personality. I mean over-the-top. Love her and love her gigantic energy. She has amazing stories. But she's also surrounded by friends who are writers and every one of us has attempted to base characters on her and they never, ever work. Like no one has managed it. Because no reader ever believes that her antics are "realistic." She even took a writing class herself and wrote a paper that was essentially just a story about herself and no one in the class found it believable 😂 Sometimes reality doesn't play in fiction.

I love the idea of Alex just sort of losing his shit when he has a super strong connection, so I don't disagree that it *could* work. I just don't think it's working right now, because yeah, I 100% think it's just poor writing. Nothing about it feels intentional.

That said, I still think even if he was coming at it from that perspective--like he's 96% slow-motion in relationships and MC is just part of the 4%-- it would still cause problems. Mainly that any MC worth her salt is gonna view him as being manipulative. Telling her what she wants to hear while still trying to get inside those underpants. Which would be interesting, but I just don't think that's what Fusebox going for. Though to be fair, I'm not sure Fusebox even knows what they're going for either.

Thanks for the message, Anon!

[landofspaceandrainbows]

nice

Ok, i think it’s totally fucking wild that my absolutely favorite “crack” (taken seriously) theory is somewhat coming true ??  like the one i feel kinda actually emotional about! Srsly!

aka the SMP multiverse

Like it’s def. not *my* version of the theory ofc, but *a* version!  it’s the various creator’s version.  but like good for them.  and omg o m g.

cool.

(It’s the one i wrote a few bad double drabbles and the story “on the origins of lives” on ao3 about)

more rambling about “my version” under the cut

and rambling about why i get emotional about, the idea, at least my version (i don’t want to put any weird pressures on the SMP creators or their version) and why i get emotional about the story too.

and yes, i am thinking of a sequel

the story, https://archiveofourown.org/works/40205097

~

so, like, the crack idea (LOSAR’s version) is the idea that all the SMP roleplay servers are linked in a multiverse, though quite loosely.  And also wrapped into my thoughts or ideas are some vague stuff about admin powers and mod powers and viewers - (and watcher / listener lore from Evo and 3rd Life being loosely tied to that)

so the main crack idea that’s kinda grown into this emotional thing, at least for me, (and it is Crack), is the whole joke bit video where Grian and Tommyinnit meet up, aka “I Tried to get Grian to Swear”, also known as “the one where they have a building competition” and also get weirdly posessively desirous about Mumbo Jumbo....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDBeFoZxhIc&t=4s

Anyway, the idea i had is it actually seems to fit well with other stuff with their HC and Dream SMP roleplay characters, and like they actually play off eachother surprisingly well there.  And it’s a chance for both groups to see how “the other half” lives. and they have fun.

~

So the background of these people is that, oh boy, Tl:dr the relevant parts here is that HermitCraft SMP where Grian usually plays is.... you could call it upbeat, cheerful, and pranksterish but friendly, but not romantic at all.  Pretty much anything of that aspect has to be Teen rating.  And that includes explicit “straight” stuff too, btw. it’s like a friend molecule.  Whereas the Dream SMP, where Tommy’s from, does have that aspect, many gay, straight, poly, marriages. and a lot of passion and genuine caring.  also to put what you heard about bluntly, it may not be the worst.... Dream SMP is a hellhole.  This is just to set the scene if you know nothing.

So anyway, (in the joke video i referenced, and in my story) this is a time when the two groups meet.   And see how they live, and swap stories, and yes build a pair of cottagecore cottages for winner’s clout.

And (in my story at least)  they see things in eachother.  Grian sees how scarred Tommy is (and how annoying and weird to be around) but also how *passionate* and willing to express how he feels about Grian and Mumbo Jumbo, even if it’s in a little bit of a yandere stan way lol.  (understatement)

While Tommy sees in Grian and Mumbo.... one: how absolutely power hungry they are.  Like they really like to influence things, really.  and that they are inhuman.  And well... on the Dream SMP, neither fares very well really.  If you’re power hungry (like Dream) you become everyone’s enemy.  and there’s so many inhumans/part humans on the DSMP, but g d do they go through some hard times because of it, and can’t even talk to it with anyone. Ranboo is part enderman and has to deal with Follish killing other endermen in front of him and rain and snow burning hi,m.  Philza is winged, but has his ability to fly stripped due to injury almost immediately upon joining the server.  And yet - to Tommyinnit’s wise eyes - Mumbo and Grian are liked and respected on HermitCraft. wtf.

And ofc, the contest ends with Grian winning and taking Tommy’s prized elytra (a pair of minecraft wings) as a prize (this will be important later)

~

So just like Dream XD is Dream in admin form - a God in the minecraft world.... the two go off into Admin Mode (which side note, in my story is Watcher Mode for Grian)

And they go talk to Mumza.

And For the Third Life/Last Life/Double Life series - Grian institutes a loooot more passion.  and also a LIMITED CANONICAL LIFE SYSTEM like they have in THE DREAM SMP.  And finally gets a chance to cling to Scar and Mumbo (but at what cost? “I don’t feel too good about this”)

And for the ORIGINS SMP - Admin Tommyinnit, Tommy XD, institutes unlimited lives, sure, that dcan’t be understated, but also (maybe more importantly) free use of powers or abilities. yes! Elytras, shulkers, ender pearls, teleportation.  Just like on HermitCraft.  and also * the ability to talk about all this stuff *

(notice any patterns on what species people chose on origins? Tubbo starts as the most highly armed and armored species in the game, Phil has elytra wings, Ranboo is an enderman, Will a ghost, Niki was surrounded by fire, now she’s surrounded by water, Jack had to claw his way out of hell after dying in one of Tommy’s stupid wars on the DSMP and always resented him for it, now he starts in hell on the O SMP and has Tommy come to see him and help him get back.)

Anyway, and Tommy is an Avia, who doesn’t have full elytra and can’t fly but has (cute little) vestigial wings.

And who’s favorite jokingly annoyed phrase is “Phiiiil, i wanna fly like you phil!”

And Tommy’s also said that unlike the Dream SMP the disc thing doesn’t apply here.

~

So....

(now do you maybe start to see where the elytra comes in?)

On Dream SMP, Tommy gives his music discs away to Dream ( XD ) for everyone’s freedom.  and constantly wants them back.

On ORIGINS SMP, planeswalker Admin Tommyinnit XD Gives his elytra to Grian (Watcher) for the ideas of the Origins SMP.  And is like “I wanna fly like you Phil.”

(because if you notice, i think part of the “Tommy” personality in any universe, besides being selfish, and talking about girls, and talking shit to ppl, is being willing to give up things he cares about for his friends ).... (and oh boy, grian will take anything, anything that isn’t nailed down. )

But deep down I think he’s a little “happy” with both cases.

and i know this is a different multiverse thing. And i just like multiverses and planeswalkers in general.

But this is part of why i’m emotional about it, if i am.

~

(and why.... forget grian adopting tommy, how about i ship some Tommyinnit and Grian and Mumbo Jumbo) < 3

~Edit:

P S - and its a bit off topic, but let me tell you about Lifesteal SMP and what happens there since they have an airport to the Dream SMP.

[ciaossu-imagines]

aww, i can’t believe it’s the last day already. the event was fun, and i’m looking forward to you doing something like this again one of these days! for my request, can you do admin prompt seventeen? 🎀

Aww, me either, honestly! This event has flown by and has been absolutely fantastic thanks to you gorgeous readers and all the interesting asks you guys send in! I’m super flattered you wanted to ask about me, too and I hope these aren’t too boring.

SEND AN ASK: get to know your author

Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Honestly, yes. With a new job and everything going on in my life, I do get busy and my writing time can get limited. I always prioritize asks and requests and this blog over any other writing, and anytime I’m not writing asks, I’m working on the two ficlet collections (the K AU! and the comfort/fluff fics) because I know those have audiences that do want to read the next chapters, so those become my next priorities. While I’m trying to be kinder to myself in terms of my writing, I do push aside my crossover and OC writing 99% of the time, even if I have all these ideas in my head because I just normally don’t have much time to write them and still be as active on here as I’d like to be. I did clear off a sideblog I never used to really use as a catchplace for that project and I probably will try to get around to it, but it’s just not something I give myself much time for because I know it doesn’t have the interest or audience that my other writing does.

What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Oh god, I’ve been writing a looooooooonnnnng time. I started on quizilla and it was cringe, but thankfully with that disappearing, all my earliest cringe writing disappeared. I know at least one person knows my old pen-name I wrote under on ff.net but seriously, I try to avoid looking at any of the writing on there either because it really is just so bad. Even some of my writing that still exists on polycanons, I look at with such embarrassment because I see so many mistakes or things I could have done better. So, in short…pretty much all of it, hahaha!!

What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favourite scenes first? Something else?

Where I write mostly requests, it’s actually really easy and straight-forward, most of my writing. When I write fics though, they tend to be drabbles, which is just straight scenes, or collections of scenes because I do write scene by scene and have a really hard time figuring out how best to connect them! I haven’t sat down and written an honest to god, beginning to end, in chronological order, fic in a really long time because I normally have a beginning and a general outline of how everything happens, along with an ending in mind, with strong scenes here and there, but no in-between parts.

Favourite character you’ve written?

That’s impossible!! I have written for over thirty fandoms to date, and while I might have favourite characters to write for from each fandom, I have no actual die-hard favourite overall!

Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

I’m still surprised at some of the requests I get, seeing which characters tend to be the most popular at any given time in the fandoms I write for. I was really surprised to have Bandou be a character I do get quite a few asks for, as he isn’t too many people’s favourite HOMRA boy, and was surprised to get that V request for Mystic Messenger, because I do know that, while I love him and find him such an intriguing character, he’s relatively strongly disliked within the fandom.

Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now?

Part of the reason I don’t go back and look at my old writing too often (even old requests on here) is because I always see something I want to rewrite or change. I’ll be proof-reading for stuff I post and then the post will be delayed because my mind will go ‘nope, that isn’t right, you can word that better or you should change it to this’ and while that’s great while proofing and editing, going back and rewriting entire fics or previously answered requests isn’t quite as possible.

When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I have honestly never had anyone ask if I write, so I just don’t bring it up. I’m not embarrassed, even though fanfiction can be looked down upon, because I love to write, but it’s just more so that nobody really asks and I honestly don’t talk a lot about myself in general.

Favourite genre to write?

I will write most things and enjoy it (though fluff really does not come naturally or easily, but that’s the fun challenge to it). I will say that, overall, a lot of what I write tends to become either smut or angst and I live for writing AU’s, especially AU’s that have paranormal, supernatural, or mystery elements.

What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Music and exercise really helps me not only straighten out ideas I have and figure out new ones but gives me the right state of mind to really straighten out characterization and wording as well. If it’s too gross to get outside, I’ll throw on my earbuds and music and pace around and around my apartment. If’s it nice out, I throw on music and head out for long walks.

Write in silence or with background noise? With people or alone?

While music helps with brainstorming, it does have to be off for me to write. I need relative silence to write, without extra background noise, and I do write alone or at least tucked away in my own little corner where the screen won’t be visible to anyone else.

What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I started writing at 9. Just little baby me, writing fanfiction out on paper, with terrible Mary-Sues and atrocious plot lines and wooden dialogue. Every single aspect of my writing has improved since that point, and I’m always improving in some new area as I continue to write. Even now, I’ll find I’m answering a request and something that would have taken me hours to figure out properly in my head is now only taking me thirty or forty minutes, sometimes even less.

Your weaknesses as an author?

That being said…my fuck, my dialogue writing is still fucking HARD. I struggle so incredibly much with dialogue, which is why you all might notice that it doesn’t occur a lot in my writing. It’s one of those things where, if I can avoid making them talk by summarizing a conversation, I’m taking that route. I do find I struggle a little with fluff or soft, romantic stuff, as mentioned above, but that’s simply because I’m not an overly romantic person as a whole and what I find sweet or cute, other die-hard romantics might find overly practical or bland.

Your strengths as an author?

Nobody can ever accuse me of not giving it my all. I pour my heart and soul into making every request, every fic, every sentence the very best I can do.

Do you make playlists for your current WIPs?

I don’t tend to make playlists for the stories overall or for specific requests (unless the request is music related), but I make them for the individual characters. I have general playlists for characters, for characters when writing particular AU’s, etc. and that is what I throw on when walking out my ideas.

Why did you start writing?

Because if I didn’t, I felt I would go insane. The words, the stories, the ideas cluttered up my head, made me feel overwhelmed and anxious, to the point where I couldn’t sleep, and I just started writing them out, because it helped me get them out of my head.

Are there any characters who haunt you?

Nope. I actually don’t feel haunted by any characters. All the ones I do feel a connection for feel more like friends, former or present, rather than ghosts.

If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

This one is really fucking personal and, honestly, the answer would not make anyone happy to hear, because it does touch on where I was in my life at that point, so honestly, let’s all skip this one.

Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

My style, my own unique writing voice, is more than likely the result of so many different authors, whose works I consumed voraciously as I grew. Stephen King, Douglas Adams, Jim Butcher, L.M. Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott, J.K. Rowling…I am very sure that all of those authors helped play huge roles in me discovering my own writing style, because they were all mainstays of my bookshelves growing up and even now.

When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc.?

I honestly don’t know. I don’t really sit down and write out all these outlines and character profiles and all that. They’re just there, in my head, like what I ate for dinner or where I’ll be next Friday.

Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It’s a mixture of both. I tend to sit down to write, with plans to work on writing between this time and that time, and that’s what I do. However, if something isn’t coming naturally or I’m stuck on how to word something or I’m cramping up, I’ll get up and take a smoke break, grab a coffee, mindlessly grind a few levels on Blush Blush, or the like, which is why, on my writing days, you guys might notice it takes me a bit longer sometimes in between posts than normal.

What do you think when you read over your older work?

Kind of answered above, but I really try not to read my older works!

Are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Yes. Yes, I really do, which is why the rules on this blog exist, so obviously the things that I ban there are uncomfortable for me to write about. But there’s also times, though I do my very best to never let it hint through in the writing, where I really am ripping open old trauma, old scars, old pain and insecurities when answering certain topics or when I’m writing out certain fics. With the requests, I generally can’t help it if the topic requested ends up hitting too close to home, but other times, I’ll be writing a story and my experiences will start to colour it or past experiences will creep into the narrative and while I don’t remove them, because they do often make the characters or story richer for the telling, more nuanced and fleshed out, it is still a very personal, very vulnerable area I’m writing from.

Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I have lived a very…colourful…life, with experiences that happen to, viewing them back now, have been very outside the norm. Add to that the fact that I’m a fat, mentally ill, woman who isn’t fully Caucasian (I have enough Native blood to qualify for a card and cheap res cigarettes) and you have someone with lived experiences that can definitely help when diving into characters, when fleshing them out, when coming up with storylines, when playing out situations that might not occur to others.

Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or story?

Thanks to match-ups, I’ve become somewhat of an expert in MBTI results, despite my firm opinion of it of pseudoscience.

Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of?

Oh god…this one was hard. I had to really dig deep for this one and went back to the only fic I’m still at all proud of my ff.net days, a kind of ‘what does death hold’ fic for the Vongola family, focusing on Lambo…

“…His hand stretched out to them and he was unsurprised to find it clad in a cow-printed suit, the hand of the five-year old boy he’d been when he had first become Vongola, became family. He went to climb the next stair, went to join his family when a bolt of lightning hit the stair in front of him, shattering the stone. For one terrifying second, Lambo thought he would die before he finished climbing, before he got to them but instead of pain, he felt himself gently held in a pair of strong arms.

“It’s okay, Lambo. You’re home now,” Tsuna whispered out, smiling down at the young cow.

“Took you long enough to come home, dumb cow,” Gokudera’s voice said, drifting on the wind.

Early the next morning, the workers of the Namimori Shrine got quite the surprise. The storm of the previous night, the worst one Namimori had gotten in nearly twenty years, had destroyed most of the area around the shrine. Trees had blown over; power-lines had been knocked down. But most surprising was the steps leading up to the shrine. The second to last and last step had been struck by lightning and were crumbling and burnt. And on those steps was a man, pronounced dead by the medics the workers had called. His wallet gave his name and his information.

At fifty-eight, the Decimo’s Guardian of Lightning was dead, struck by one last fatal bolt of lightning.”

[pashminalamb]

✨Chapter 2✨ part 1

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I CANT BELIEVE ITS ALMOST BEEN A WEEK IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AS SOON AS IT CAME OUT BUT LIFE GOT IN THE WAY BUT IM HERE NOW BELLE!!!

OH HO HO WE’RE STARTING WITH THE LETTER??? YESSS I COULDNT WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE WROTE. *reads the first metaphor and starts sobbing* it’s a diary. ITS A DIARY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP THROUGH HER EYES IM SOBBING RN. I honestly love the idea that Oliver doesn’t have the best relationship with his family. Adds more spice yknow? WAIT WAIT WAIT. HES READING THIS??? THIS IS HIS POV??? ASDHJHHFJJFFHHHFFF THIS IS AMAZING. Also I love how hurtful the readers love is portrayed in the diary. Making him read your years worth of heartache gives a chance for him to reflect on his actions. Oliver having Viking ancestry??? That’s a yes from me!!!! Not him already unconsciously planning a date to take you to see the northern lights and only being able to imagine your face. BOY YOU ARE DOWN SO BAD. WAKE UP ALREADY. NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE DREAM RELATIONSHIP. BELLE LOVE PLS. You’re killing me rn *sobs*. That scene with her framing abt their future relationship and his hand hosting over here whilst giving him a back hug was written so well I can literally feel it happening adhkhdhkgfjhgf ugh. God reading the diary entries was so painful. I can practically hear the riding and falling octaves of hurt and desperation and hollowness and acceptance. *cries* BELES IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET HOW CAN I GO ON LIKE THIS???!!? *proceeds to keep reading* NO BUT HIM REALIZING HOW HES MORE THAN JUST A SCUMBAG IN SOMEONE EYES SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING RN BELLE. I really do this that he doesn’t view himself as highly as his ego on the field does. Aside from soccer, I feel like Oliver would have a few self worry issues. You’re making me think abt his character more and this isn’t even an analysts post asfkjgfggiij. I love how you’re exploring him as a person through his relationship with the reader. It’s really hard and tricky to develop a character using a relationship they have with someone else but you’ve done a fantastic job with it love!!! Oh timeskip?? I love your dialogue writing so much, you really make y/n have a personality and Oliver doesn’t just have the 2 traits of soccer and playboy. Uh oh not the mother call. You really know you’ve messed up royally bad of you get a video call from mom with the look. Rip Oliver you will forever be remembered in our memories. WE LOVE MOM IN THIS HOUSEHOLD FINALLY SOMEONE TALKING SOME SENSE INTO THIS MAN SERIOUSLY QUIT BEING AN ASS OLIVER I SAY THIS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HEART. I love how the loneliness slowly creeps up on him in the little things tho. The extra groceries the empty bedroom the lack of the faucet running in the morning just ugh yes I love it all. I wanna bet that he hasn’t had a girl over or even thought abt having one over since she left cage she’s all he can think abt. I’m right aren’t I? Yup I was right. FINALLY. ITS ABT DANG TIME. NOW PRESS THE CALL BUTTON OLIVER OR SO HELP ME-. Noooooo not the voicemails. This is a risky so freaking sad to read. He’s hurting so bad but I’m still kinda mad at him so like ugh. THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN I READ THAT HES GETTING A TATTOO FOR YOU *SCREAMETHS* I’m still grinning like a crazy person asdjjfgjkhghh. Maybe not the best emotional decision while drunk Oli BUT THE SYMBOLISM THE SYMBOLIDM IS WHATS GOT ME GRINNING LIKE A FOOL. Belle you’ve got me loving all the angsty stuff *cries*. wait what. did. did I read that right???????? 6 years????? 6???? Six??????? ITS BEEN 6 YEARS SINCE THEYVE LAST SEEN EACH OTHER IM-. *wheezes and continues to furiously scroll* Oliver don’t you dare lie to yourself and say it was a drink regret we all know it wasn’t. The time skip was well place though. Unexpected but understandable. It was really needed and they’ve both grown separately which is what I was really hoping for. But see. Since the time skip was so early. I know there’s gonna be a LOT of drama upcoming. And I for one cannot wait!!! Sobs not him carrying your diary with him in his bag everywhere he goes like a lost wayward lover. That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good.

- ✨ anon

✨Chapter 2✨ part 2 Note: I cant believe it made me divide my ask into 2 parts tumblr do better smh That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good. CRIES KNOWING HE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE SAW A GLIMPSE OF YOU BUT IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE EVERY TIME AND HE WAS LEFT SO HEARTBROKEN AND SAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERY TIME. OOF. Big oof. 6 years and no women huh? You messed up big time bud. Thank your wife Belle that’s she’s kind enough to give you a (probably) happy ending with this fic (I hope). NOT HIM SLOWLY ADOPTING YOUR MANNERISMS AND HABITS AS THE YEARS WENT BY. Seriously you pulled out all the heartache stops for this chapter Belle. Prediction. Why do I think the chapters gonna end with them meeting again? Cries. Yes. Wallow in despair and mistakes Oliver. It’ll be much help in your character development. Oliver honey. You can’t do this to me. Pls I cant take the pathetic heartache. And the strangers wondering what’s got him looking so sad too??? Stan me now why don’t you? UGH BELLE THIS US SO FREAKING GOOD!!!! Shout out to Sendou for being a true friend. I wonder if his relationship will Oliver will be developed a little later on too? Maybe. No. No no no. Ohhhhhhh my God. NOOOOOOOOO IM SCREAMING RN BITING MY PILLOW I SO DID NOT THINK YOU WERE GONNA GO THIS ROUTE BUT I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST ASFJHFGJFFHGDFGFFGGG SHES HERE ISNT SHE???? SHE WANTED TO SHIW THEIR DAUGHTER HER DADDY AND SEE HIM TOO UGH I AM BELLE YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. “Staring into the camera wondering if you were watching him” BOY SHES IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Not me slowly losing my mind over this new development don’t mind me asdfjkgggjjj. Ohhhh okay so my prediction for her being in the stands and having their daughter watch the game intentionally was false BUT I MIGHT STILL BE RIGHT ABT THE CLIFFHANGER ENDING LETS SEE. Pshhhhhhhhh Oliver bring bad with kids is actually so hilarious to me. God having a daughter makes so much more sense now with the context of cutting off contact and the little details. You could have predicted but it was a very low chance you did that part so well girl!!!! ASTJFDHKIFFJKUFFGJJUFDFFFF NOT THE OLDER SISTER!!!!!!!???? WILL SHE LET THEM MEET OR NO??????!!!!! AHHHHH I CANT TAKE THIS. AND I WAS RIGHT ABT THE NANES BEING SIMILAR I DIDNT MENTION IT BUT I HAD AN INKLING. LIVI = OLIVIA = OLIVER????? Yessssss give me the parental relationship development and parent-child similarities. I literally speed read the rest of it cause oh my God I couldn’t stop myself. I loved this chapter so much. His resolve to win you back over??? FREAKING TOOK 6 YEARS AND A SECRET DAUGHTER BUT WE’RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!! Everything abt this chapter was amazing and I loved it so much seriously you did an amazing job with this!!!! The formatting and borders look fantastic btw!!! I cannot wait for the next chapter but pls pls pls ake your time and don’t overwork yourself sweetheart!!!! And again I’m sorry for the late response and lack of interactions. Life got busy and I’ve been occupied mentally with friendship stuff. Sighs. Anyways. IM GLAD TO BE BACK NOW THO!!!! I wanna catch up!!! How are you love? How’s break been? And uni? Are you feeling better? I hope you are!!! And that you get all the writing inspiration and kudos on ao3 (unfortunately I can’t spam the kudos button or I would have) and much interactions on your blog!!!! ALSO. Question. But would you prefer me writing the reviews for the chapters on your blog or in the comments section of the fic on ao3? *sending many virtual hugs* - ✨ anon

FINALLY. the much awaited reply - I really loved reading every min of this and now I'm gonna talk about every small detail of it so it's gonna be a long ask. So yeah lets dive right into it ! We did start off with her diary. And YES. the story is a dual perspective one so there is developments on Oliver's side as well. The idea of him having viking ancestry came from vinland saga for me as well as the study of vikings - most of them came from the nordic belt so there was a possibility of that and honestly... viking! Oliver? *fans face* Now the whole thing abt the back hug and that scene? That was out of a dream I had a couple of months back that I was talking to blue about. I just love the whole narrative where you're hating him and loving him at the same time ToT

And yes! so one of the issues with Oliver's character (i'm not sure if you're reading the manga or not -) but even as a football player, he does have more addition to his personality than his nature and looks; adults took away his future from him. He wanted to be a striker but because of his coach, he had to give up that dream and become a defender instead. Another thing I like is making (y/n) have a personality as well as strong dialogues. One of the issues with fanfic writing is that the reader is also a if not the main protagonist of the story. Some of the (y/n)s out there (and I'm not saying this to stir anything up) are too soft spoken or give in too easily. Some authors mention that the reader is stubborn either through description or dialogues but they don't show it or show the reader being too dependent on someone. And honestly, I'm glad you brought out the point that the way I characterize people has more to do with stuff that really counts as a personality including Oliver since he has just been restrained to football and being a playboy -smh. Since my stories have less of smut and more of plot, there has to be character development and since I like seeing people blossom, might as well do it with the characters right? and in this case, its to do with time. he does get lonely - and there's an explanation for that in the story. So the story about the tattoo... I was planning on getting an arm tattoo done for him. like a fawn over the shoulder and then adding stuff to it... but Oliver doesn't strike as the type to get tattoos. So he got one on the ankle and...yeah no I'm not giving spoilers for further chapters just yet. |>.<| Ik the time skip seems big... but yeah. 6 years - I can't believe I fell for Oliver, then again. he's practically the only sane one in there and maybe Bachira... or else everyone is either depressed or feral. not in between literally.

6 years and Oliver hasn't had women. And ofc my story has a happy ending! - 'hurt me and put me back together' is my motto atp I'm glad that you're enjoying the angst starry - cause that's where most of my character development is. And there's more drama in the next chapter. So... did no one notice that Oliver didn't pull out? *laughing* well... yes. we did have a daughter. Oliver is actually terrible with babies. I'm happy to hear that i pulled it off well T.T Well... chapter 3 is packing. I already have a title ready And its fine! honestly- its good to take a break from tumblr once in a while So here's my update - I managed to put on weight during my break. 3 kgs/ 7 pounds consistently working out at the gym and uni... is exhausting. but we're working and I also bought a lot of books during break (chainsawman as one of them) and another one that I'm really engrossed in atm, Anything is fine Starry!! I'm keeping tumblr active in case someone wants to tell me something anonymous or discussions for character development. and I saw your comment on my fic on ao3 - i wanna say that I really appreciate it cause that was one of the first comments that fic ever got and I'm happy about it (gonna respond to it soon as well) *sending bear hugs*

Starry his collarbones are catching me off guard -