#eventual s/mut

[reveluving]

just a nip ; peter hale x reader x deucalion

summary: you don't understand your husbands' obsession with your fangs, and you most certainly don't question it.

warnings: some s~mut (kinky husbands, so minors DNI!) + soft & sweet!

a/n: more of our fav canine duo and their vamp wife! had this lil' idea for MONTHS so I had to let it out eventually hhhh don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» fancy reading the series? check out the m.list!

» smut includes; kinky soft dom husbands, unprotected sex (p in v), petnames ('pretty girl', 'sweetheart', 'angel'), mentions of making a facial mess, mild edging & punishment??

'A sight that they will forever treasure.' ;

Their obsession with your fangs goes beyond your expectation but for different reasons. Peter likes the surprised look on your face whenever he sticks his finger in your mouth as you yawn the way an owner would to their cat. Whether you’re in a jolly mood or going through your worst day so far, you can’t help but share the amusement he has for his habit. Deuc, on the other hand, is no stranger to doing the same but often, in a more, intimate setting. If you happened to be riding his cock? Oh, it riles him up like no other. He’ll be straight-up kinky; shoving a finger or two in your mouth to lightly run them across your little canines. He’d be smug, especially if you’re staring back into his eyes as yours glow unnaturally, wishing you could wipe the smirk off his face. 

That’s not to say they’re not in the mood to switch; Deuc loves seeing your pupils contract into slits as he teases you about your cat-like behaviour the same way Peter enjoys feeling your fangs when you go to town between the sheets, but you can tell they have their own preference over the other. 

But there is one in particular that despite never admitting it, not especially amongst each other (at least, not outwardly) is ingrained in their heads, a sight that they will forever treasure.

They have a love-hate relationship with the way you bite down on the pillow/sheets, almost shying away from one's heated gaze and obscene praises while the other growls in your ear as they pound into you from behind.

"Such a pretty, pretty girl."

"Aw, was that a little shiver I felt? You love it when I growl in your ear, don't you?"

"Don't close your eyes, sweetheart. I want those pretty eyes in me when I cum all over your face."

"You better not cum just yet, angel. You remember what happened the last time when you came without our permission, don't you?"

On one hand, they get off on the fact that the usually level-headed and sometimes bashful mother of the pack is losing herself in the sheer pleasure that only they can offer, but on the other hand, they wish to hear you scream at their mercy. Either way, they just loved how submissive you looked.

Absolute menaces.

» gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

a/n: I hope my ian/gideon enthusiasts are doing fabulous, y'all better take care, ily! 🫂❤

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 6 Post-watch Thoughts

- Overall, I think this was a really good episode. There was a lot that happened. Story was moving super quickly but it was good. It was entertaining. I liked it. I might get somewhat confused on actual timeline chain of events, but it's fine.

- We do kind of pick up where we left off where they're shopping in the mall for new clothes for Mut, and we see a little bit more of compromise happening between the two of them.

- I like the storyline that revolves around Mut calling P'Vi to ask about Prin and us learning more about both who print is, but also through the course of showing those conversations we learn more about who Mut is, which is the more important part. I think us as the viewer who are seeing all sides of this would forgive Mut for prying into Rak's history, but I think it's important that Mut recognizes that it's important for Rak to be able to tell his own story.

- Short intermission to apologize for the misinformation from my episode 5 post. Prin is Rak's cousin, their mothers are sisters. I wasn't paying attention to the actual words being spoken, and I'm pretty sure she just called Rak 'Hia', which in Thai is translated to mean older brother but is really a title/ term for older males, generally family members, though not always. It is also important to note that in this case she's using it almost sarcastically and so it doesn't actually indicate the level of affection that its use in everyday Thai life would indicate. I will comeback and link a language post about the term hia and other common Thai words here.... eventually.

- I was kind of surprised to learn that Rock's father is straight up just a paid man, a gigolo. I thought they were using the concept more as a euphemism and that he was more along the lines of like a gold digger. That's not to say there's anything wrong with that line of work, but it's very clear through his behavior that he was using it to manipulate Rak's mother as well as probably multiple other women. I'm not necessarily surprised to find out that there was an aspect of physical abuse, to go with the emotional that was happening. I do have an appreciation for how it was presented. And when I mean by that is while we did see like a flashback Mame didn't have a child actor act out that abuse. We are learning now that having young children even talented actors who are very young act out those kinds of situations is detrimental to them even if they're not necessarily aware of it. So the small snippet we got was fairly vague and while we do see the younger version of Rak crying with the wound, he's not having to act out the actual act of abuse and I think that's a good thing.

- I was excited when we got the preview last week that we were going to see and meet Kom directly, and we do get to hear Connor but we don't get to meet him and I'm not sure if we will or not but I would like to. One thing I appreciated specifically about the conversation between Kom and Mut is that you can tell Kom doesn't think Mut is stupid, but he also knows him well enough to know how soft-hearted he is and you can tell. He's worried that this is a case of him kind of picking up strays in a way. He's concerned that Mut doesn't see the slippery slope, and wants to protect him.

- I think the jealousy, storyline or story beats more accurately are interesting because we saw references to jealousy in the last episode, but here it's much more direct. Why? I think they're interesting is kind of how they end up being handled. Rak doesn't want to admit to himself that he's jealous because he knows that's basically a confirmation that he truly likes Mut and that it's more than just the agreement and it's more than just sex, so he wants to pretend that he's not jealous at all and so he kind of swings in like the other direction of trying to be nonchalant, which doesn't truly succeed. Mut Is kind of toning down his jealousy or attempting to kind of because he doesn't want to come on too strong. He's already been very direct about his feelings for Rak, but he's still holding back a lot of the time because he doesn't want to push too hard too quickly. It makes the scene of them getting into bed and Rak cuddling against Mut more amusing but also endearing. In the end they're both getting what they want, but neither wants to truly admit it. (Also Rak's grumpy nonverbal direction to Mut was just flat out adorable)

- Bringing the niece into things was fun. The actress is very adorable. I do think we're playing a little bit too much into the precociousness trope and the niece being treated a little bit too much too much like an adult. And this is not necessarily horrible, but it's an easy pitfall for a lot of storytellers. I recognize that every kid is different, there are plenty of kids who get talked to and treated like adults, but just because a child is very smart and can understand more mature subject matters, even vague ones, it's on the adults to maintain the appropriate level of maturity. So basically just because she can understand what their arrangement is, I don't think Mut or Rak should have been as blunt about it as they were, and I also feel like they encourage that behavior rather than shutting it down, which I think would have been the more appropriate tactic.

- In relation to that, I did like how Mut more offered his services in terms of picking up the niece (whose name I've forgotten, sorry) rather than just asserting that he would do it. Both Mut and Rak have histories with unstable homes, so they do want to be decision makers, have control, but Mut recognizes that putting the choice in front of Rak and letting him decide is important to building the trust between them. You can also see in the acting in this scene, the way. Fort and Peat look at each other and portray the characters, that Rak is recognizing that Mut has an awareness of the seriousness of the situation and how much Rak's family means to him. Rak understands that Mut is willing to do the task, but also that he's committed to making sure the niece is safe because she matters to Rak, and by proxy matters to him.

-I'm kind of done with P'Vi as a love interest for Mook at this point because of the lying storyline. Besides being unnecessary, because Vi could just confess to Mook her feelings, those types of lies sit wrong with me because I'm from a superstitious family. You're setting yourself up for the universe to make your lie a truth. But I truly think nothing would be lost if Vi had simply come to Mook and explained that she's lonely and that she wants company, even if she's too scared to confess her true feelings. That's an emotion and a feeling that's pretty much universal and that Mook would be able to sympathize with and I think would be more willing to be company to Vi because she's being honest.

-We did get a short little spicy bit towards the end of the episode, which was kind of nice after them being basically cockblocked the whole ep. It was short, so there's not a lot to read from it, but there was a level of playfulness, especially on Rak's part that we haven't really seen before, and I think it bodes well.

-Sidenote question for ppl who read the Love Sea or Love Sand novels- we're given the implication that Connor and Tongrak might have had a sexual relationship in the past. And I say implication because what Conner says as far as the subtitles is, "who do you think hugged him at night when he had writer's block??" Which given what we know about Rak's writing process, would lead you to believe that he's not talking about them just cuddling in bed. So is there, in the novel, clear confirmation that they were in fact in a sort of friends with benefits situation before Conner met Kom? I'm just curious because this isn't a subject that Mame has delved into before, at least not in her shows, so I'm curious.

As far as the preview for next episode, I am excited to see Boss and Noeul in what appears to be a weird twist of them playing themselves in a way, but I think it's fun. Another visit from Prin and I'm assuming a clearer idea of whatever it is she's after.

I think that's all for now. As I stated at the top I thought this was a really good episode. I thought it was excellently paced, to be honest, which is something that Mame struggles with sometimes. I think as far as seasonal pacing, we're doing pretty well as far as things being fairly reasonable and realistic in terms of the level of emotional intimacy. The lack of clarity in the timing made it feel like Mut and Rak were becoming too comfortable emotionally too quickly, especially in episodes 2 & 3, so it's good to see things a bit more even this last couple episodes.

[crescentneko]

Honey 🍯 Astera/Mirage drabble Context: Alt mirage universe where some of my human ultrakill OCs exist along with canon characters. Basically this is a snippet of my oc Astera having some fun with Mirage.

Content: human/robot, s//mut, vanilla, cunnilingus

I'm shaking like a leaf posting this- But this has been sitting in my drabble folder for like over a year with some others so u hm //yeets into the void I'll probaby post details about 'tera eventually when I'm less anxious (same with Kit, Del and others-) Enjoy some enby/robot smut??? [Minors DNI | 18+ only, ya know the drill] Oh, also hella inspired by the song Honey by Halsey-

Honey.

That's the only word that came to mind as they drunk down the sweetness pouring out of her.

The tip of their tongue attentively laps at her silicone folds and clit, while hands gripped tightly at the metalic thighs that enclosed their head snugly against her.

There's no better place Astera would rather be.

Mirage's synthetic-laced mewls and whimpers were intoxicating, and they were hellbent on making her as loud as possible for them.

Metal fingers tangled themselves into their silver-white hair and lightly tugged them impossibly closer to her. The reward feedback loop was lighting up her processor like the most amazing fireworks show and it was becoming nearly overwhelming.

Like hell she'd tell them to stop though.

Astera's mouth ran over each lip with precision; delving their tongue inside while enjoying the taste on their tongue. Slick ran down their chin as their eyes flitted up to meet their partner's partially shut optic.

"F-Fuck, keep going… J-Just like that." She murmured; one of her blue-plated hands tugged on their hair again, trying to grind against thier face and that wonderful tongue inside her. Mirage's head tilted back as she lost herself in the pleasure.

Who were they to deny her?

They doubled their efforts and let one of their hands slip from her thigh to her cunt. Astera licked up her slick as two fingers slipped in surprisingly easily; tongue now focusing on her clit with short and quick flicks.

A static-laced cry came out of her voice box as her hips trembled; fans kicking on full blast now.

They grinned against her and pumped their fingers at a steady pace. They ate her out like they've been starved for years–denied the very essence Astera needed to survive on. Their tongue swirled around the silicone nub before sucking gingerly on it, desperate to hear more pleasured sounds from her.

She keened, trying very, very hard not to crush her poor partner's head between her thighs.

Mirage was glad they took of their glasses for this.

"C-Close-" She managed to say as static seeped into her voice, making her near incoherent to hear. Her hips now unable to keep from ginding frantically against that wonderful mouth and knucles-deep fingers within her.

They suppose they could be nice to her, this time.

Astera sped up their rhythm, making sure to stoke their fingers against her soft upper walls, just where she loved it most.

Just a little more…

One more intense suck on her clit and she unraveled beautifully. A loud cry as she pushed down their head, body shuddering with each intense shock of her climax; optic flickering from the sheer intensity of it.

They made sure to keep moving their fingers and lick her clean as she rode out her orgasm; despite it being difficult to breathe this way.

Astera figured I'd be a good way to die if that were to happen.

Finally coming down, Mirage released them, her body now limp and trying to reroute her power sources to their usual processes.

"Holy shit… Y-You're much too good at that now…"

"I aim to please as you know." Astera sat up with a lick of their lips; smiling to her with amusement at how out of breath she sounded, despite not needing to breathe. "You're not too tired to keep going right?"

Mirage hummed before closing her optic as she laid back on the now messy bed.

"H-Hey…!" Astera got up and went to straddle her lap, their hands resting on her upper torso with a pout. "Seriously? you're gonna leave me here like thi–”

Their voice catches in their throat as Mirage's hands go to rest on their hips. She gently presses them down on her lap to grind against them, making them moan out. One of her hands then moved with practiced ease, working their way up their sleep tshirt from behind.

She peeks her optic open in a cheeky expression. "Kidding. It's only fair to return the favor, right...?"

[andydrysdalerogers]

Following Team Orders - Austria

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams

Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean); parental death

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series MasterList - Main Masterlist

“You know, I’m not a fan of German words.”  

“That’s a weird statement.”  

“Well, we’re in Austria but they don’t speak Austrian, they speak German. It’s such a harsh language.”  

“Seriously, the shit you say Liv is just out there.”  

“I’m serious. I mean I could whisper German words in your ear or I could do it in French. I could say, Ich wünschte, du hättest den Mut, mich zu küssen.” 

Steve audibles gulped. “What would the French be like?” 

Liv shyly slid on the bench over to him. She leaned into his neck and whispered, “J'aimerais que tu aies le courage de m'embrasser.” (I wish you had the courage to kiss me.) 

“Yeah, I don’t know what you said but that is way better than German.”  

“That’s my point.” Liv took a sip of her beer.  She looked around Graz, the closest city near the Red Bull Ring.  A home race for Red Bull Racing. It was the Saturday before the race and Steve snuck her out so they could explore on their own.  

“So, tell me what you think about the city?” He took a bite of his food, watching her expressions.  He loved doing that, try and read her while she thought out her answer.  The one thing he had learned quickly was that, outside the heat of the moment, Liv was careful with her words.  

“I think its old and beautiful.  The architecture is something to marvel at.  I mean, they were built hundreds of years ago.  How?  I can’t even think how they would do it now.  Plus, all the greenery.  If it wasn’t for the German, I would move here.”  She popped a bread into her mouth and smiled as she chewed. 

“I’ve noticed, doll, that you always choose your words.  Except when you are mad at me,” he said with a smirk. “Why is that?” 

“Reflex,” she answered immediately.  “Hugh didn’t want me to be some bimbo, even if he preferred blondes. Oxford educated and all that.”  

“Wait, you went to Oxford.”  

“For a business degree, yes.”  

“I thought you grew up in the States.”  

“I did after dad finished racing so around 5 until 18 and then to Oxford, where I also did my internship with Williams.  I had just graduated when I ended things with Hugh.”  

“Why do you call him Hugh?” 

She snorted.  “He once told me that only the help called him Hugh and it irritates him when anyone else does.” Her eyes sparkled at Steve.  

“A dig in a name. I like it, doll.” Steve smirked back at her as their desserts and coffees were brought out.  

“Anyway, I can.  Can’t kill him,” she shrugged.  

“If he tries anything, I’ll take care of it.”  

“My hero.”  

The pair finished up their desserts and Steve paid before they set out into the city.  Alone, Steve took Liv in his hand.  “You have such small hands. So dainty,” as he measured his own against hers.  

“And yet, they still handle better than you,” she replied with a twinkle.  

“Oh really? It’s like that?” 

“That’s how it is.” She used his hand to twirl on one foot.  She slipped but before she could land on her ass, Steve caught her, hand on her back, hand on neck.  It was like she was dipped out of dance.  

“Are you alright?”  Steve’s eyes studied her, and she took his face in.  His sharp jaw line, strands of his blonde hair falling forward into his ocean blues.  His pink perfect lips that looked like he could kiss and kiss well.  She swallowed and pushed herself up before she could make a mistake.  

“I’m fine.  Apparently, twirling in the cobblestones is not recommended.”  

“Either that, or you’re clumsy.”  

“Rude.”  

Steve threw his head back and laughed as Belle crossed her arms and pouted, walking away.  “Wait, Belle,” he said with a gasp, trying to catch his breath.  He ran to catch up with her. “C’mon, you know I was joking with you, doll.”  

“You’re not funny,” she continued to pout.  

He got in front of her and pulled her into his arms, clasping his hands and holding her in place.  “Anyone ever tell you how cute you are when you pout?” 

She stuck her lip out more in a deeper pout. “No I’m not.” 

“Yea, you are.  Make me want to bite that lip.”  He thumbed her lip, stoking it. He slid his hand back to cup her cheek and gently ran his thumb over her skin. Liv sucked in her breath at his touch, his hands so warm. “You are so beautiful, my Livie.” 

“Stevie,” she whispered, closing her eyes.  

“Open them for me, beautiful. Let me see you.”  

Her eyes fluttered open in time to see his eyes move from hers to her mouth and back.  She sucked in her bottom lip, but he pulled it free.  He leaned down, looking in her eyes for any hesitation but found none and he gently pressed his lips on hers.  He was slow and gentle, not demanding at all.  Their lips molded together, and he slowly deepened it. He slowly broke apart, keeping his forehead against hers.  

“That had to have been the best kiss I’ve ever had,” he said. 

“Me too.”  She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and noticed rings of green and gold in them.  “Stevie, I like you so much, but we still need to go slow, ok?” 

“OK.” He sighed.  “Can I kiss you one more time?” 

She bit her lip and nodded.  

She could get used to Steve Rogers kissing her. 

Olivia pulls into her starting point, seventh on the grid.  Steve qualified fourth, both Red Bull cars having an ok time in qualifying. She waits as the cars behind her slot behind her. 

A standing start is simple.  The cars line up, the light count down to five before lights out and you go.  A good start can make or break your day. It’s something that Red Bull had been focused on with Liv.  She’s been getting better with the start.  She stares at the light, hand on the clutch and ready to go.  

“Focus Liv, you got this,” she hears Bucky in her ear.  

“I’ve got this,” she whispers.  

Five 

Four 

Three 

Two 

One 

She flips the car into gear and pushes on the accelerator, passing the two cars in front.  

“Clear start Liv.” Bucky says in her ear. “P5, Storm is 2 seconds ahead.”  

“Copy.”  

She focused on the track, remembering everything Steve said about the track.  Three laps in and she overtakes Johnny pushing her into fourth.  

“Great job Liv.  You’ve got Drysdale, Rogers and Tucker ahead of you.”  

The next part of strategy is pitting.  Formula One required at least one pit stop for tires but when it is completed, another is up to the team and the life of the tires. The average speed of a pit stop is 30 seconds, from pit in to pit out.  The actual time of the stop is somewhere around 2 seconds.  Red Bull holds the world record at 1.82 seconds.  In 1.82 seconds, four tires are removed and replaced by the fifteen men who are amazing at what they do.  

“Box, box, box,” Liv hears over the radio. “Liv, we are stacking.” 

“Copy.”  She starts to look for the marker for the pit entrance.  She pulls in, slowing her car from 160 MPH to 60, the pit lane limit.  One of the crew waves her down and she pulls in.  

Stacking is where they pit both cars one right after the other.  She sees Rogers’s car in front of her and just as she pulls in, he pulls away.  Both stops are done in just over 4 seconds. Liv peels away and gets back on track.  

“Liv, you are in sixth behind Rogers but Ferrari and Mercedes have yet to pit.”  

“Are we going to make it?” 

“You both look like you are.  No mistakes.  You got this Bug,” she hears Frank over the radio.  They are just over half way through the race.  

Steve gets a five second lead over Liv, but a yellow flag slows everyone down.  “What happened?” 

“Drysdale has lost an engine and hit the wall.  He’s ok and out but they need to clear the debris.  Car passing are lapped cars so be careful,” Bucky says.  

“Copy.  Where are we?” 

“Eight laps, Liv.  You got this.  Its Rogers, you, Storm, right now.  Green flag in three laps.”  

“Copy.”  

As soon as the track is cleared, the drivers get the green to go racing again.  Rogers pulls away slightly, but Liv had to defend against Johnny.  “Ok Storm, let’s see if you can get by me.”  Liv races, not letting up, defending but making a clean drive.  Johnny tries his hardest and make a move but gets out of the slipstream and it cause him to wobble, allow Liv to put some more distance.  

“Final lap Liv, one more,” Bucky tells her.  

Ten corners to go.  She can’t see Johnny in her mirrors any more, just barely seeing Steve in front of her.  She makes it around and can see the final straight and the checked flag. Her team is on the fence, waving their arms with the signs out.  P1, Rogers. P2, Williams.  

“Great job Livie! P2! First 1-2 for Red Bull!” She hears Andy over the comms.  

Liv does everything to make it back around while the tears flood her eyes.  Her highest finish ever. She waves her hand out of the cockpit to the home crowd, the roar hitting her ears now that the car is no longer at top speed.  She can see the orange smoke, a trademark of Red Bull, billowing in the air.  

She pulls back into the pit lane and stops into the 2nd place stop. She takes a moment before she climbs out. Pulling off her Hans device (a protector for her head and neck) she gets on top of her car and raises her hands.  She sees Steve coming over and lift her up, spinning her around before the both leap into the arms of their crew who are behind a fence.  Congratulations are being yelled around them.  

FIA officials call them over for their official weight in and then interviews for TV are done with them and Johnny, who managed to finish 3rd.  Podium where Liv takes the 2nd place trophy before listening to the US National Anthem, then the Austrian one for Red Bull.  

Champagne toasts are epic on the podium where Frank, who took the winning manufacture’s trophy on behalf of the team, Steve and Johnny both showered Liv for her first podium.  She was soaked through in her racing suit but stood smiling for pictures with the guys.  After, she made it back down to the garaging to shower and change before all of the interview.  She was riding high, from Steve’s kiss the night before to her finish.  

As she finished her last interview, she walked back through the pits, lost in thought when someone spoke.  “You are a hard girl to get alone.”  

Liv whipped around. “Mr. Hansen.”  

“Lloyd, please.”  Lloyd took the lollipop from his mouth. “Congratulations on second.  You are very impressive.”  

“Thank you.”  Liv shifted her weight on her legs. “Is there something you needed?” 

“You,” he said bluntly.  “To be a driver at Mercedes.”  

“Excuse me?” 

“Look, Miss Williams, you are the future of F1.  You can drive circles around some of these cupcakes.  I know you don’t have a contract beyond this year.  Mercedes is the next level.”  

“What about Drysdale or Tucker?” 

“We haven’t decided.”  

Steve was looking for Liv, holding a red rose for her.  He was so proud of his girl.  He had watched some of the highlights and he was in awe.  Someone with her experience shouldn’t be that good but she was.  As he rounded a corner, he heard her voice and someone else’s.  

“Thank you for the offer, It is rather interesting…” 

“Look don’t reject me just yet. You could be a star with us.”  

“Mr. Hansen…” 

“Lloyd, please, sunshine. Let me take you to dinner?  We can discuss your new contract.”  

Steve grounded his teeth.  She’s leaving? When? His mind raced.  She’s just using us. Irrational fear that she would take trade secrets formed. Was she just using him to get ahead? He dropped the rose and quickly exited from the area.  

Lloyd tried to caress Liv’s cheek, but she jerked her head away.  “Mr. Hansen, thank you for the offer but I must decline.  Excuse me.”  

“Is it Drysdale?” 

“No.” Liv gave him a hard look.  

“Then what is it.  Money?”  

“No.  Honestly, I don’t want to work for someone like you.”  Liv whipped around and walked away.  She stepped on something and looked down to see a red rose on the floor.  She picked it up and put it in the trash.  She was looking for Steve when someone stopped her.  

“You’re a moron.” 

“And you are an asshole.” Liv looked straight at Ransom.  “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”  

“So you won’t accept a new ride because of me?” 

“No, I won’t accept a new ride because I want to earn it.  I know it’s you, putting Hansen up to a new contract.  The whole thing smells like something you would do, Hugh.”  He growled but she continued. “I may only have a few races left but I am happy where I am.  If this is my only real chance, I will do it with my friends and family, you psychotic asshole.”  

“Watch your mouth, you vicious little bitch.  I can break you, any time, anywhere.”  

“Do it.  The fuck do I care. Take yourself down along with me.  I gave you everything and you threw it back in my face.  Now your grandfather bailed you out again so you can keep being a racer.” She shoved him back just as Frank and Bucky rounded the corner.  “I hate you.  I fucking hate everything about you. Stay away from me, my team and my family.”  She spun and saw Frank.  She ran into his arms as she cried frustrated tears.  

“You heard her Drysdale,” Bucky said.  “Get the fuck atta here!” 

“You’ll regret this Olivia,” he snarled as he walked away.  

Frank tried to calm her down.  “Where’s Steve?” 

“He just left,” Bucky frowned.  “Said he had stuff to take care of and that he’s catching a different flight.”  

“Oh,” Liv wiped her nose.  “Well, I guess I’ll catch up with him later. Don’t tell him what happened.  He’ll just get mad and lose focus.” She exhaled.  “Can we get a drink?” 

“Sure, doll face,” Bucky slung an arm over her Frank mimicking the action.  “To our new 2nd place driver in Austria!” 

“Cheers!” 

Tag list:

@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @tinkerbelle67

[renuked]

Location, Location, Location - Trench

The Commonwealth is known for many things. Industry, history, beauteous shores, beans... Even after nuclear fire thoroughly bathed the area in its mutative glow, it remains a fascinating landscape. In the intervening decades between 2077 and 2277, survivors have gathered, recuperated, and rebuilt. They marked their legacies upon the wasteland with their settlements, some thriving into towns and cities.

Among the inhabited remnants of the old world, there stand a few pillars upon which the future of the Commonwealth was built. Surrounding these, too, are settlements that maintain the structure and provide for the region. Today, of all these places, we shall be looking at;

Trench

In the early days after the war, the Commonwealth was (to be quite frank) a radioactive hellscape. The few who survived managed by staying underground in metro tunnels, sewers, caves, or anywhere shielded from the lingering poison.

Thankfully, as time went on, the radiation lessened and lessened. When people emerged, they had to face a still-harsh new world. Filled with new fauna, flora, and challenges. For many, it was a return to our primitive roots. Hunters and gatherers. Scavengers and survivalists.

It was in 2082, that a nomadic cluster of people came upon the devastation of their old home. A crater blasted into the middle of Cambridge. Despite this harrowing sight, they decided to settle there for a time. Occupying what few buildings still stood around the edge of the pit, assuming they'd scavenge what little was around and then leave.

Again, however, time went on. They found the buildings easy to defend from, whenever a wandering raider or feral ghoul came by. When the rains came, though, the crater would fill... With a little ingenuity, the survivors rigged a collector in the crater (to stock their provisions for their inevitable departure). They found, again, that as water gathered... the soil became enriched enough to sustain small crop gardens. Shelter, food, water... Their needs were being met. Their nomadism came to an end and they firmly planted roots.

Eventually, the draw of this crater brought more survivors. Then more. Soon, they had the lucky break of an engineer joining their burgeoning settlement. They led teams to build shacks and scaffolds and walkways. By the time the Vaults opened in 2102, Trench had become an official settlement.

To an outsider, it looks simply like a crater crowned with a ring of homes -- set in steps like Incan terrace farms -- with small gardens and a central basin. But, in actuality, Trench is a true testament to the strength and will of mankind and their capacity to rebuild, even in the harshest of conditions.

Afterword

So, this is the first of a series of posts I plan to do. Over time, I'll be making more little snippets like this that focus on one location. I initially thought of having a handful of locations in each post... but that idea quickly burned up, because I'd either have long posts that drag on-and-on, or I'd give very little attention to each individual location so that I can fit all three in.

As such, this is my happy medium. One location per post, with a nice little snippet about the location. Whether that be its story, purpose, or place in the Commonwealth.

Speaking more on the topic at hand, however;

Trench is a prime example of what I want to do with Fallout 4's locations. Originally, the Cambridge Crater was just a spot where you could find some feral ghouls and... not much else. So, I reworked it into something more interesting. In a way, it's similar to Megaton but without the threat of nuclear annihilation in the middle of town. A crater is a good place to establish a settlement. It's defensible, water naturally gathers there, the exposed soil would be good for farming, and it's surrounded by good salvage material.

Of course, I'll address once concern I'm sure will be raised. Radiation. Wouldn't a bomb crater have tons of radiation? Well... it depends. Fallout has had a lot of inconsistencies when it comes to how rads work. How long it lingers, how strong it is, etc. For ReNuked, I'm establishing a baseline, which I'll lay out here (and in a separate post another time) alongside the intention of the baseline;

1 - Radiation loses potency over time - unless it's being replenished.

A good example would be Trench. It was highly irradiated when the bombs dropped and created the pit. However, by the time the settlers found it, the radiation had dissipated. But, if there was a nearby reactor leaking waste into the crater, then it'd still be irradiated for as long as the reactor is leaking into it. This is intended to explain why some areas are highly radioactive, while others aren't.

2 - Radiation lasts longer when absorbed by living cells.

When rads have been absorbed into the cells of something, it becomes self-sustaining. The radioactive cells multiply, mutate, and keep the rads around. This serves to explain why radiation lingers in people, creatures, and so on.

3 - Food is radioactive due to preservatives, while water is irradiated due to debris and exposure.

Pre-War foods are, naturally, radioactive. To be expected when exposed to nuclear blasts. But, why are they still edible after 200 years? Why are they still radioactive? The answer to both (in Renuked) is; Pre-War companies introduced a series of preservatives that kept the food edible for... practically forever. Did it trash their nutritional value? Absolutely. Do the chemicals react with radiation to prolong said radioactivity? You bet your sweet bippy. Are Fancy Lad Snack Cakes the best snack cake on the market? Our marketing department says yes... so yes.

Water, on the other hand, is a trickier horse to handle. In the early days of a nuclear apocalypse, water is a valuable commodity. It's essential to life and becomes a rare sight when society has collapsed. Why does it become rare, however? Well... water itself doesn't become rare. Clean water does. Debris, radioactive dust, radiation waves, etc. all sink into rivers, lakes, oceans, and reservoirs... rendering them clouded with filth and cell-melting rads.

---

I'm hoping that this baseline will allow me to keep radiation consistent within ReNuked. And, of course, the baseline is not exhaustive. There are likely things I haven't thought of, yet. So, this will evolve over time. But, I digress.

I think that's about everything for Trench. It's not a city like Diamond City or a town like Megaton. It's more of a settlement. They live, they farm, they trade with travelling merchants. You won't find an inn, a store, or a bar. Just people trying to survive and -- maybe with some time and dedication -- thrive.

[ocean-in-my-rebel-soul]

Mutual Pining [4/?]

March’s monthly story, as voted on in my Patreon poll. Posted late due to health complications last month.

Check out my Patreon and consider joining my private Discord server to hang out!

Title: Mutual Pining Relationships: Templar!Carver Hawke/Merrill Rating: E for eventual smut (will be marked) Summary: A week of shore-leave turned into an impromptu camping trip with Merrill, and Carver made the mistake of not checking when Isabela and his sibling helped pack the bags. It had all the essentials, Bela swore, except for one thing:

It only had one tent.

Notes: set somewhere in Act 2, and Carver’s been a Templar now a year and a half or so. Turns out, it might did end up longer than seven parts, these two keep surprising me.

[Part 1]  [Part 2]   [Part 3]  [Part 4]

====

“—and this is halla beard, but you might know it as goat’s beard,” Merrill chirped from her seat on the tree branch. Carver watched while she gathered up the stringy stuff. “It’s good for blood clotting and fevers and other things.”

“Is it good for keeping elves from falling out of trees?” he muttered, eyeing her critically.

She turned, a confused frown on her face, and wobbled, almost pitching herself off the branch entirely. Carver tensed and readied to catch her but she found her balance almost as quickly as she had lost it.

“What was that, Little Hawke?” she asked breathlessly.

Carver shook his head. “Nothing, Merr.”

“Oh, look, the spruce tips are ready, too! Here, catch these.” She dropped her current haul and stretched to pluck at the bright green branch tips around her. “These are good for food, you know,” she said absentedly, concentrating as she climbed up the tree in search for the best of the bundled needle-like leaves. “Makes an excellent tea, or added to salads. We sometimes pickle them in vinegar with honey and water. Delicious!”

He caught the tips as she tossed them down. “Wouldn’t it be better to collect more from each tree? Less climbing around and stuff.”

She shook her head and dropped down from the branches. “You don’t want to over-harvest,” she said. “We all have to live on what the forest gives us. Taking too much from one tree or bush could hurt it.”

He hummed noncommittally. Much different than farming; he remembered working for their neighboring homestead after his own household chores and the way the old widow would yell, reminding him and Eli to harvest and weed until the bare earth showed its scars. Ah, Ferelden.

Carver rolled his shoulders as Merrill peeked into the basket, rearranging her planty treasures. Satisfied, she retrieved their lunch from her travel bag, neatly slicing into the hard chunks of sausage and cheese before sharing.

“I can’t wait to get to the grove,” she said around a mouthful of sausage. “Varric says he got the original map from one of the Sabrae hunters a while back. I want to see what’s there!”

“You’ve never been to the place?” Carver couldn’t help the nervous falling of his stomach. She’d used string to find her way around Kirkwall for years, after all, and that was in a pretty straightforwardly-built city. There were only so many ways to get lost among all those stairs. A forest was a much easier place to get turned around and lost for days.

“It’s just the woods, Little Hawke. I know how to find my wa— Oh, listen, do you hear that? Sounds like a thrush!”

He shook his head as she rose to her feet and crept toward the birdsong, lunch forgotten. Ah, Merrill, he thought, smiling. Never change.

Carver watched her. She smiled, and laughed, and was animated in ways he rarely saw in Kirkwall. Rarely saw period, now, but especially in Kirkwall. She always seemed to breathe easier on the road in his memories.

“It looks like it’s going to rain tonight,” Merrill called over her shoulder. She pointed up through the tree canopy. “See those clouds coming in? They remind me of pregnant halla, all fat and heavy.”

He squinted up at the sky and the dark cloud layer rolling in before stowing her baskets. “We should get going, then. You said we’re only a couple hours away, right? Hopefully we’ll get there before the worst of it hits.”

Merrill bounded over to him, a handful of pale blue blossoms in hand. She slipped them into the top basket and Carver helped her shrug back into her pack, shuffling it against her back. “What are those good for?” he asked, picking up his own bag.

“Oh! Um.” She met his eyes, her own wide in surprise, and looked away, a blush stealing over her face. “They, um. They’re my favorite shade of blue.” Merrill took a deep breath and walked further into the forest. “It reminds me of you,” she said in a rush, not looking back.

He stood there, dumbly, hands still working on the clasps of his coat. “It what?”

—

They weren’t a mere two hours away from their destination, as luck (and a likely/definitely skewed map) would have it. The sky dumped buckets down on their heads well into the evening and soaked them to the bone, even despite the thick canopy overhead.

They came into a small clearing--no more wide than Carver’s bedroom at the estate, really, but big enough for maybe their tents and a fire, if they were careful. He scrubbed his hands down his face. “This better be it,” he grumbled.

They ducked into the less-drenched shelter of a tree before Merrill carefully retrieved her map, reading by the light of a ball of magelight hovering at her shoulder. “Looks like it! We should set up camp, I don’t know that we’ll get anything useful done tonight. Maybe the rain will stop soon.”

Carver peered up at the sky with a scowl and threw down his pack. ”I’ll set up the tents, you check for a source of fresh water. We can use the camp pot for rainwater, if it comes down to it, I guess.” Merrill created another ball of magelight and then scarpered off, shedding her pack far more gracefully than he did on her way.

“And don’t fall or slip or anything!” he called after her as she disappeared into the night, only to see a blithe hand-wave in response. “Right, tents. Get a move on, Carver.” He quickly untied the oilcloth coverings of their packs to retrieve the folded canvas tents—

And paused, brow furrowed.

No. No, no, no.

Carver pawed through his pack. It was big, and heavy, and that weight had been reassuring up until a minute ago. He set aside a neatly-corralled expanse of canvas, wrapped alongside the ropes and short sticks that would help make up most of the frame. A bundle of cloth laid beneath it, and when he messily unwrapped it he found Bela’s hip flask, a parcel of cookies, other sundry provisions, and a note.

“Dear Carver, get bent. Enjoy the tent! Heh, that rhymed, who’d’ve thought? Anyway. Love, Eli,” it said in blocky handwriting.

The ink dragged across the page and a new script, light and practiced, sprawled over the page.

“Ignore Eli, get Merrill bent, and maybe you’ll both feel better. Have fun! And don’t do anything I wouldn’t! Rum, Bela. (Rum’s better than love, don’t you think? More fun, anyway.)”

Carver crumpled the note--and its unsurprisingly juvenile sketch--in his fist and stared at the half-strewn traveling bags with growing horror-tinged embarrassment. He should have known better to assume any sort of goodness from those two, they were worse than magpies when they put their devious minds to something.

“I found the stream, just like the map said! We’ll be set!”

He gurgled something in response, fist pressed to his mouth for a moment. “Good, fine, good,” he called back. “Everything’s good. Yep. Good, good, good.” Carver mentally prepared a to-do list for the minute he got back to Kirkwall, with one highlighted, bullet-pointed item:

Absolutely murdering his sibling.

“Little Hawke?”

He would deny until his dying day acknowledgement of the squeak that burst from him at her silent arrival. “Everything’s good!” he said in a rush. “Good, good, good.”

Merrill tilted her head and looked at him, nonplussed. “Of course it is. Here, I’ll help!”

Together they set up their shelter, with the only hangup being finding fallen branches long enough to use as tent poles. Carver finished up tying the last of the knots to secure the canvas as she stowed their supplies.

“I don’t think Eli packed us the right tent,” Merrill said from within. She poked head out through the door flaps. “It’s a bit small. We’ll have to snuggle.”

What.

“Come on,” she said, when he hesitated too long. “It’s cold and wet out there, and soon to be warm and a bit drier in here. I can set a rune under us and keep the tent warm through the night, don’t worry! You won’t freeze, I promise!”

Her earnestness brought him back to the present. Carver shook his water-drenched bangs from his eyes. “Sure, sure. Wait, you can do that?”

Merrill laughed. “Of course! Why do you think Bela always wanted to share with me when we would be on the road together? I know how to do a lot of things,” she said, and her smile was a bit too sharp for her words, but he didn’t have the time to puzzle it out. Merrill pulled him inside, muddy boots and all, and tied the flaps closed against the rain. Her light hovered at the peak of the tent and bathed her in soft, silvery-blue hues.

“Watch,” she said, before crouching down and pulling back the ground cover. Merrill sketched some design into the loamy earth, something he couldn’t quite follow, and slapped her hands against it with a delighted smile. Soon enough steam rose from the ground, drifting lazily through the air as the tent began to warm.

“....huh,” was all he could say. That would have made years of adventuring with their band of misfits easier. “I figured Bela liked to share with you for, uh, other reasons,” he muttered thoughtlessly, shaking his head, and he clapped his hand to his mouth when he heard the words out loud.

Merrill laughed, bright and bubbly, though, so he didn’t make her mad. “Oh, she did,” she agreed sagely, “but I think it was mostly because we both hate being cold. Much easier to sleep when you’re warm, right? I always thought so, at least!”

….Right. Thinking about anything but that. Nope, very studiously ignoring… that.

“And the tent isn’t going to catch fire or anything in the middle of the night?” he asked instead, bringing the conversation back to something safe. Like a tent fire. Like a tent fire inadvertently caused by his mage companion, who so graciously cast some sort of spell to keep them warm, for his comfort.

Great going, Carver. Way to stick your foot waaaay in there.

“Nope,” she replied, thankfully oblivious to his inner monologue and unintended insult. Merrill patted the groundsheet back into place and layered their bedding together into a thick pallet. “Won’t get hot enough to do that. It really just takes the edge off; it’s not like making a fire, more like… oh, like warming the blankets before you crawl into bed. The rune heats the earth below us to help insulate against the cold, which heats the tent a little, and our bedrolls will help trap that warmth to us. Most of the work will still be body heat, though.”

“Smart.” Carver turned away and began to peel off his layers. He was halfway through unbuttoning his vest when he caught her watching, unabashed. Carver blushed. “Do you mind?” he huffed.

“Hm? Oh!” She shook her head and turned her attention elsewhere. “Sorry. Modesty. What a strange idea!”

“Is it… not a thing with the Dalish?” he asked over his shoulder, hands stilled on his buttons.

“Not really.” He could hear her shuffling, then the sound of wet leathers. Carver trained his eyes, both physical and mental, to the canvas wall ahead of him. “Everyone has a body. They’re made for all sorts of things; work, play, pleasure—” Merrill’s voice stumbled for a second before righting itself again “--all very natural things. Nothing I, or anyone else, hasn’t seen before, so why spend the energy being shy and secret about it?”

“...huh,” he said, the word strangled in his throat. “Right. Well. Okay. I’m going to… get ready for bed now. So don’t look.”

She sighed behind him, and he could swear he heard a soft “you silly thing” in her gentle lilt but a quick peek over his shoulder showed her turned toward her own wall, busy with her bedtime preparations. Carver quickly traded his soaked clothing for a light tunic and a suspiciously soft pair of pants--Bela’s influence, no doubt.

Merrill’s penchant for fondling soft, touchable fabrics was well known, and Bela had been trying to “help” Carver “woo” Merrill for ages.

He added “murder the pirate” to his to-do list.

“Oooh, soft,” Merrill cooed quietly, as if on cue. Carver swallowed down a sudden rush of nerves and turned to find her, fully dressed, even, clad in a light shift. Her fingers crushed the fabric and she looked like the happiest damn person he’d ever seen in that moment. “Feel this,” she insisted, and closed the distance between them to thrust the material into his hands. “Isn’t it so pretty?”

He tentatively rubbed at the fabric and found that, yes, it was delightfully soft, something like a mix of silk and the lightest cotton he had ever felt. He also found that its hemline crept up her thighs when she wound his fingers into the cloth. Carver dropped his hands as if scalded.

“It’s really nice.” Like you, he almost said, and it was like another voice was in his mouth, trying to come out. It suits you. Now please take it off.

Fucking Maker, the earth could swallow him whole anytime now.

She smiled, and for a horrified moment he worried he had spoken it all out loud. “It's new! It's a gift,” she said, “from—”

“--From Bela,” he supplied with a groan, to which she nodded. Of course it was. Of course! “I’m going to die,” Carver muttered under his breath when she stepped away.

“What was that?”

“I said I’m going to bed, goodnight.” Carver all but dove into the combined bedroll. He rolled to his side and situated himself to give as wide a berth as possible for her. They’d shared a tent before but never like this.

Don’t make it fucking weird, he told himself.

Despite his good efforts, the bed was still somehow small enough that she plastered herself along his back after extinguishing her light. “We’ll have to snuggle,” Merrill reminded him, words muffled against his shoulder. “Body heat.”

“Right.” His heart pounded like a war drum in his chest. “Should I roll over?”

“If you want.”

“Okay…” They shuffled until he was on his back and Merrill curled up into his side like she belonged there.

Blood mage, blood mage, his heartbeat reminded him. The warning had been loud in his mind before but now it was new once more, a vision of Knight-Commander Stannard’s rage-mottled face blistering into his mind’s eye.

“Remember to uphold the duties and values of the Order, even on your days off,” Rutherford’s phantom voice urged him.

Carver Hawke, who had shielded mages from Templars all his life, wrapped his arm around Merrill’s thin shoulders with a mental fuck you to the Gallows and let the sound of her pleased sigh send him to sleep.

====

[Part 1]  [Part 2]   [Part 3]  [Part 4]

[the-possum-writes]

Reunited with Finn after coming back from the islands.

❥Ship: Finn x Gn!Reader

❥ Tags: Fluff, N/S/F/W, Vanilla, gender neutral reader

❥ A/n: Okay, this was originally part of a request for needy Finn s/mut after not seeing his s/o, but they specified fem!reader and more of a date night so instead of adjusting this draft to fit the request I'll submit this as it's own thing while I rewrite the request. Takes place after the Island's and elements special. Bon apettite.

❥ Taglist (open): @watchingfromthefloorboards

Finn left at the worst time possible but you can’t blame him for it, the prospect of learning more about human culture and his own origin was a very enticing opportunity he couldn’t miss. “I’ll be back before you know it.” Is what he told you, but even then the universe has a crude sense of humor. By the time he sailed off into the ocean and disappeared beyond the horizon something wrong started happening within the under skin of Ooo, magic was out of control, kingdoms were divided in four elements of candy, ice, fire and slime. Even then, it’s hard to pinpoint how or when it happened, all you remember is worrying about Finn’s safety before your mind became consumed with thoughts about singing and soda pop as your flesh was replaced with tooth rotting candy. If there’s one good thing about his departure it’s that he was safe from this chaotic magic.

He promised he’ll come back, and he kept his word. With the candy’s influence removed from your mind and body, the first thought that came to mind is your knight in a shining bear hat, running through grass plains without stop until you reach the tree house completely sunburn and exhausted, but any remaining doubt evaporated from your mind as you saw him bust open the door at the sight of you.

Finn’s bedroom is warm and inviting, with a bear pelt draped over the window to keep the room fresh and semi dark except for the lamp on his bedside. You’re entangled in his arms just as his hand is in your hair, caressing it fondly.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” He laments with every kiss, deeper than the previous one. “But was it worth it?” you rub his forearm, littered with scratches and faint scars.

Finn sighs momentarily, breaking the kiss. “Definitely.”

“Then there’s nothing to apologize.” You massage the back of his head in comfort, his own locks feeling like a gold cascade running past your fingers. Every time you brought up the topic about his island adventure Finn’s body would go rigid and rapidly blink his eyes to avoid any droplets, so you naturally change the conversation. “You know... I bought a new pair of underwear for when you came back.”

“Oh really?” Finn hums contently, to which you only nod. “Can I see’ em?”

The sheets wrinkle under the weight of your body when you part away from Finn’s arms, kneeling in a way that gave him a good view of your lower body while unbuttoning your clothing of choice. Finn patiently leans against the headrest of his bed as you toss behind you the discarded article, Finn places his hands on the dip of your hips, his thumbs playing around with the elastic band of your bright colored underwear with a funky hot dog pattern. “Not bad, looks good on you,” he chuckles, pulling the elastic back before purposely releasing it against your skin. “But it’ll look better on the floor~” his ironic pick up lines never fail.

It’s your turn to laugh. “Oh wow, that was terrible,” you snort lovingly. “But you get a B+ for trying.” You smooch his forehead the same time Finn tugs you closer to him, placing a kiss on your clothed crotch. The pleasant chills running down your tummy as you rake your hands down his chest, eventually leaning forward to plop you on your back, but your grip was still held on his shirt.

Upon your request he removed his t shirt. The boyish chub you remember from way before now replaced by lean muscle overtime, his adventure spent as sea did wonders on him like the tan marks left by his usual outfit on his thighs and arms, there’s also subtle dark specks peppered over his body like a seasoned dish. A dish you’re more than eager to dig your teeth.

You lick your way up his neck before eventually nibbling the sensitive spot under his chin, taking delight in hearing Finn’s strained moans as he ruts his growing hard on against your thigh. “Sorry babe, say goodbye to your hotdogs.” The young man peels the underwear from your legs and nonchalantly tosses them aside much to your slight disdain. “Hey watch it! Those were expensive.” You scold him but not really holding it against him, especially not when he’s holding one of your legs on his waist with the other raised on his shoulder. “Pfft really? You’re getting mad even when I have you like this?” he laughs. But just to rile you up further. Finn frees his hefty cock from within his blue shorts, rubbing his leaking tip between your legs in a repetitive motion almost like a massage, smearing his sticky humidity all over your heated intimates. “I’ll get an-angrier if you keep teasing me like this.” You snap back but not without groaning in the process, feeling the him squeeze his tip without warning.

“What if I like seeing you angry~?” Finn practically purrs in your ear, unconsciously shuddering every time he slips his sensitive gland in and out of you, but not precisely penetrating yet which is maddening. “FINN! LUBE ME UP ALREADY!”

“Already on that babe,” he smooches you before pulling away, retrieving the bottle of lube from his nightstand just for occasions like these. Meanwhile you lay there like one of those damsel in distress with an arm tossed over your forehead, the chill skin contrasting with the burning desire that has you absolutely feverish and wanton. “How about I leave for a month? Let’s see if you’ll miss me as much.” You taunt, jabbing at how he’s taking his sweet time with you while you been waiting for weeks to get railed. “Hey babe don’t say that, of course I miss you,” Finn pulls out his fingers from you, feeling all lubed up and ready to go. “And I’ll make it up to you… by rearranging your guts so good you won’t sit straight for weeks.”

Just like when he said he would come back, Finn also kept his promise on this too.

[genuflectx]

Giant Mantis/Reader Chapter 1 {SFW}

Chapter 1 Length: 7,867

Main Themes: Giant bugs

Other Warnings: Blood, animal death, gore, pronoun change, misgendering

Ch 1 (you are here) - Ch 2 - Ch 3 - Ch 4 - Ch 5 - Epilogue 

Watch the warnings as chapters are released! There is eventual s/mut in a later chapter! And as always, if you want to read my stories and chapter stories before everyone else, they go up on my Patreon a full month before release <3

(all images in aesthetic board are labeled for reuse with modification or are mine)

Chapter 1 - Lost and Found

The canopy was so thick here that the sun sparsely shone through it. It was a deep, dark evergreen; a deciduous paradise dappled with tall waxy pines and short fat firs, between their trunks a myriad of toothed brambles and curled ferns. This paradise thrived far, far away from the island's little tourist town, and you were awed by the primal feeling of it all. In short, you were lost.

Click.

At least you had your camera for company. When you finally found your way out of this woody maze there would be a full SD card waiting for your eager eyes. At least some good would come out of this vacation. You lowered the heavy camera around your neck and sighed up at the trees. A breeze blew by and you were lucky to catch a glimpse of blue as the canopy waved.

“Okay internet,” you mumbled, slipping your phone from your back pocket. “Let's try this again. Come on.”

Nothing. There was still no signal. You'd yet to come anywhere close to civilization in your hour of wandering, then. You tried data, just letting the GPS's circle of death spin and spin. Nada. As you stared you started walking straight, lips a tight thin line. This island was only so big; you just had to hit a road or trail at some point, or at least the ocean. You were briefly distracted when a squirrel in the canopy made a warning call. You smirked and shook your head.

Then everything went silent. You stopped walking and looked up, searching the woods. “Hello?”

You chewed the inside of you cheek and crept onward, your phone going back to its resting spot in favor of keeping your camera at the ready. Your finger hovered over the button. You came to a small stone the size of a guinea pig and decided to scrutinize it, bringing the camera's viewing glass up to your eye to peer through. A red spot drew your interest. Then another, materializing from above you, staining the off-white of the stone and thickly oozing over its side. You took your eye from the camera.

A cold fear grabbed a hold of your spine. Nearly frozen, you turned your head up towards the dark canopy. Something had it's head turned towards you, too, high in the trees. Two gigantic purple crystals embedded in a swath of blue and green. And in its horrific clutches a bundle of meat. Red, unrecognizable, dripping blood down onto the stone and your head. You hardly had a chase to see it take another bite before you screamed bloody murder and ran, adrenaline instantly filling your veins and forest air filling your lungs so thoroughly that you felt like a balloon.

You just ran, and ran, not looking back. And when you darted through the opening of a decrepit chain length fence, stumbling over the torn break in the metal, you still did not look back. Not even when your fall caused your backpack to tumble into the brush. It was following you- you were sure of it! You were going to be eaten- you were going to die out here on this stupid fucking island you only half wanted to visit.

There was a gap in the trees. You flew through it out into the warm sun. Civilization! A two-story cabin sat in the clearing, a few pines and oaks sheltering it, and you darted towards the door on animal  instinct to get inside. You banged on the door, hard, two-fisted.

“Please! Is anyone home! Please hurry, please let me in! There's something out here!” You were watching the tree line, eyes racing to catch a glimpse of whatever had been in the woods coming after you. But nothing was there. “Please,” you whimpered.

Then, from around the back of the cabin, came to you what seemed an angel disgusted as a human, and your heart became awash with relief. You ran to her, her mid-fifties (sixities?) face wrinkled with great concern. Before she could speak you had nearly collapsed against the side of the house. You babbled and pointed towards the woods.

“You- you need to get inside! There's something out here,” you turned again to look from where you'd come, paranoid. “Something big,” you faced her, gesturing wildly with your arms. “It was eating an animal, there was blood-” your eyes stuck to the ground, envisioning the rock splattered with gore.

Finally the old woman spoke. “Calm down now. How did you get in here?”

“What? Here?” You hugged yourself, shaking and bouncing from leg to leg. “I ran!”

She took your elbow gently and began to lead you towards the door. You were aware enough to notice her hands were in gardening gloves, the soil still dirtying them, but you didn't care about the filth enough to shy away. You let her lead you, brain prickling with anxiety. This poor little woman, all alone in the woods, would be prey to- whatever that thing had been. Some sort of bug. Or alien.

She clicked her tongue. “I'd better take you back to town then,” she let you inside. It had been unlocked. “But first, what was it you thought you saw, sweetheart? There aren't any large predators in these woods. I would know, I've lived here half my life now,” she chuckled.

Now inside you could breath easy. The adrenaline began to ebb away, leaving a sense of discomfort behind and an ache in your left knee. You realized only now that it was bleeding, a gash struck across the skin. You grimaced and looked around her living room instead to take your mind from the wound.

It was as cozy as it looked from the outside. A soft, white couch and two love seats faced a fireplace. You took a moment to skin the contents of the mantel. A brown, sharp shape was framed in an austere photo frame. Before you got a chance to make out what it was the woman stepped between you and the fireplace, where she turned the photo around. You swallowed and turned around.

There was a connected dining room with an antler chandelier lighting it. It struck you odd. The island, situated between the Asian and Australian continents, wasn't exactly the place one expected to see almost American architecture and decoration. This house in the woods did not resemble the coastal town you had been staying in. You decided not to comment. If some eccentric old lady with an Australian accent wanted to live on a mostly deserted island and build a lodge in the middle of nowhere that was her own concern.

“It looked like...” you scrunched your brows as you uncertainly sat at the edge of a love seat. “An alien. It had these big purple eyes, and long slicing claws, like...black knives,” you ran your hand through your hair and stared at the fireplace in disbelief, only realizing how crazy that was once it had been said.

She smiled wryly and took her gloves off, muttering under her breath. “And how did you say you got in here again? This area is a nature reserve, but it's not open to the public.”

You could read between the lines. She thought you had been trespassing. “I- I got lost. I'm a tourist, and I went hiking to, well,” you lifted your camera a bit. She nodded. “I stopped to take some pictures when something started dripping above me. And when I looked up-” you expressed terror. After a second to regain composure you continued. “There was a fence, but there had been a part of it fallen over. I was running, so I just went through it. I guess... that's how I got here. I'm sorry.”

This stranger considered you and your story. She brushed back some grey hair that hadn't conformed to her bun behind her ear, and then moved to lean against the side of the couch, arms crossed. “I see. Well. Then no harm done, it can't be helped. I'll just have to fix the fence,” and under her breath you heard her say “again” with no small amount of disdain.

“Are you a game warden? Or the fire watch?” You asked before thinking.

She laughed. “Do you see a watch tower? No, no, but I am the caretaker of this preserve. I'm an entomologist. My name's Gladys,” Gladys smiled warmly.

Her smooth, friendly voice helped the last of the adrenaline subside. You weren't in trouble for accidentally trespassing, which lifted a weight from your shoulders. “I'm [Y/N], sorry again for... this. But you should be careful, I swear, I really did see something out there. It looked big enough to-” you didn't even want to say it, a shiver running through you.

“Eat a person?” She rose a brow and cocked her head.

You hesitated then nodded.

Gladys pursed her lips, her fingers drumming along her forearm. After a long minute she sighed heavily, coming away from the side of the couch. “They wouldn't. You have nothing to fear in these woods, [Y/N], or else I'd have been dead decades ago.”

A bolt shot straight to your heart once you'd realized what she said. Your mouth felt dry. “Wh... what do you mean. They.”

She seemed to smirk, calculating. “Should we have some tea?”

So Gladys, the “caretaker” of the preserve, the one who was certain “they” wouldn't harm her, made tea for two in her little cabin home after promptly tending to your wound. The two of you sat out front on her porch. She had had to drag out a second chair. According to Gladys she had not had a visitor in about eight years now, going on nine, so a second chair had not previously been needed. She seemed giddy when she offered the seat to you. You supped chamomile, but it did nothing to wet your throat.

“I'm only telling you this because no one would believe you,” she said, comfortably leaned back in her wooden chair.

You looked down at your tea, hand shaking.

“But honestly, there is nothing dangerous to people in these woods. Well, except the boars. But they steer clear of the preserve for obvious reasons,” she shrugged.

“And... what reason is that,” you questioned, eyes flicking to the treeline. You really did not want to be outside, but she had insisted.

Her eyelids drooped. She was giving you a look that said: are you really asking me that? “What you saw was real, you're not nuts, and it wasn't an alien. It was an asshole. Who broke the fence for the fourth time this season. You know what? I think she just likes mocking me,” her free hand flew up in exasperation. “Can't be like her siblings, ohhhh no, she has to stand out. Leave the parameter, harass the little ones, eat squirrels of all things. You know what a squirrel is?”

“A... uh. Rodent?” You weren't sure what she was getting at. Your clear confusion didn't appear to change the course of the conversation, either.

“A potato chip! It's nothing! A tiny snack, so why bother at all? Just to be an ass. That's why. I wish I could get the clearance to lock her up in her own greenhouse.”

You scratched your cheek. “I think I'm confused. We're talking about the-” your voice trailed.

“The purple-eyed bastard who scared you into trespassing,” Gladys deadpanned.

“Oh,” you sat the half-empty tea onto the table. The awkward quiet that followed was tense.

“Want to meet her?”

Your eyes flew up and you were aghast. Your lips opened, then closed, and you were obviously put on the spot. What you really wanted was to go back to your nice hotel, maybe take a nap, then go out onto the beach in the night to stargaze. Something comforting. Something predictable. But there was a little spark inside your guts that was curious; that wanted to see the creature that Gladys was calling an “ass.” So you made a decision. Probably a bad one.

“I... okay. Yeah, but then can you take me back to my hotel?”

She smiled, tucking back hair, and nodded. “Of course, honey.”

The property was littered with massive greenhouses, which you'd been too nervous to notice before. Some of them were blocked by groupings of tall trees, but at least two of them were directly behind her house. It was there that she lead you, her body language all excitement and glee. It was pretty obvious that eight years alone had fried her brain and social skills. You were a little afraid that she may even feed you to the monster, that she was luring you in with a promise to take you home, but in reality you were monster food. Squirrels were snacks. Humans were a meal. You hugged yourself.

“They're a little shy,” she said, coming to the huge barn-door-sized doors. “So no sudden movements. They don't exactly meet many people,” she winked.

You could only nod and wait for the great doors to open. A gust of hot, humid air hit you, and you blinked wetly at the sensation. Though the island was warm and balmy, this greenhouse was nearly sweltering. Inside was a small jungle; a mini version of the forest outside, just denser. Trees that had been meticulously trimmed to fit, huge pampered ferns and firs and bushes. The floor was even covered in thick, lush grass. Earth, crammed into a capsule. You gawked.

“Wow, you did this? You must be a great gardener,” you complimented, awed.

Your host swelled with pride, walking backwards inside and her arms wide. “All me! Well, once there was a team, maaany many years ago, before I was a dinosaur. But now yeah. So I'll take the credit.”

At first you didn't see anything similar to the bloody-mouthed thing from the woods. It was just too dense. But then something twitched, and you snapped to attention. There was a massive, even bigger version of that monster hanging low on a a thick pine tree's branch.

On instinct you stepped back, blocking your body with raised arms. “Holy shit,” you shook, voice quivering. “It's a-” you couldn't think of the word in your fear, simply gesturing with your hands like a raptor.

“A praying mantis, yes,” she snapped. “Mama Rhod, we have a guest today! She's not from the island. Be nice.”

Gladys was addressing the insect. You looked between them, bemused by Gladys's open, unafraid body language, and the giant mantis's stiff, threatening one. Up this close you could see more details. The triangular head with massive, almost sparkling, blue eyes. A cobra-like shield that framed her neck, and fake eyes that drew attention to it. A thick abdomen with long- too long- wings. Swooping antenna that hung down, their ends tipped in small flags that had fake eyes similar to her long green wings. But the part that made you afraid were the thick yellow arms she held close to her body, the individual parts tucked together like tongs, or a set of jaws. The things that had been used to capture and hold that squirrel as it was ripped apart. Unmade.

It wasn't until “Mama Rhod” spoke back to Gladys that you had to force your eyes away, vision growing spots. She was quiet. So, so quiet. But her mouth parts moved, and there was sound. You were too dizzy to understand the first thing she said, but regained your senses enough to hear what came next.

“Vervain is not here,” she said, a deep whisper.

Gladys sighed and threw her hands up. “And thus why we entertain a guest at all! Your daughter ate another squirrel and broke down the fence again. She can climb the damn thing, so she does it just to annoy me.”

“You're talking,” you cut in. “You are... having a conversation.”

Gladys smiled at her proudly. “Yep! This isn't the one that scared you. She still isn't back. This is bastard child's mother.”

You didn't know what to say to that. Instead you started backing towards the door, exhausted and ready to be taken home. “Okay, I'm... you can drive me back to the hotel now. This is just, a lot, so-” you stopped, a shadow draping over you. You could see Gladys's face fall.

You wirled around, and there she was, looming in the doorway and staring down at you. Her purple eyes gave her away, small dark pupils trained on your face, which twisted in horror. She looked like Rhod but more vibrant, with larger flags on her antenna and smaller wings.

Gladys groaned in frustration. “You still have blood on your face. Look, you're going to give [Y/N] a heart attack.”

She stared at Gladys. Then her pupils moved smoothly up towards Rhod, who still hung from the tree but had twisted her head to be much more level. They had a staring contest, and it occurred to you that they likely did not need to blink. Then, as if she had lost a silent battle, her eyes slid back to yours and her thick forearms rubbed the blood from her face.

“[Y/N], Vervain. Vervain, [Y/N].”

You just stood there, waiting for her to say something. Eventually she tilted her head, antenna twitching. Then it righted itself again. “Are you going to take this one back?” She looked past you.

“Yes, she has a hotel room booked in town,” she shook her head.

Your heart was pounding. You felt frozen to the spot, a rabbit corned in by a fox. It didn't matter if the caretaker claimed they wouldn't eat a human. It didn't matter if she was having a lovely chat with these things, that they could talk at all. You were scared of this creature blocking your exit. Existentially burdened and with the vague feeling you might throw up.

Suddenly “Vervain” moved, her claw stretching towards you, and you jerked back. She stopped, tucking it back against herself. “I like humans,” she said quietly. “Stay here.”

“Wh-what?” You stammered, placing a hand to your chest.

“Vervain,” Gladys warned.

Equally offended, Mama Rhod chided her. “She is afraid, let her be, daughter. You must ready yourself for the envoy.” She came down from her tree, monetarily distracting you from the looming mantis, and you realized now just how big she was in comparison to Vervain, who was still at least four feet taller than you. Now you were bracketed by them and thought you could just die.

“Envoy? More people?” You asked.

Gladys finally came to your side. “No, more insects. The family unit I have here is, weeeell, lacking in mate material. So they've sent for another family, and they'll be coming back to mate.”

You rose your brows, cheeks growing warm.

Rhod continued scolding her child. “Yes, so you must stay and rest, eat what our caretaker provides to prepare for laying. You must be strong and healthy. Leave your... hobby be,” she said hobby with some disgust, looking down on the humans between them.

Vervain's eyes found yours again. She looked between you and Gladys. “Stay, until the others come and leave. You will learn, and we may talk,” Vervain looked defiantly up at her mother after that.

Gladys made a sound of disbelief, looking at you for some response. Your brows just furrowed and you shook your head. Half of you was sure that this thing was lying. It just wanted a plaything to hunt down. Like it had done with that poor squirrel. As you stood there, deliberating on how to say no, her claw stretched out again and this time when you flinched she didn't pull away. A lump slid from her long, thick arm into the damp grass, and you jumped back.

It was your backpack. You slowly looked back up at her, but she didn't say anything. It was like she was observing you; a single cell under the microscope with a watchful biologist's eye peering down at it.

“So the other's are in the garden I assume,” you heard Gladys say, directed towards Rhod.

Rhod was speaking back, but your ears were ringing. You didn't hear anything she said, and didn't hear Gladys as she turned attention back onto you. Didn't even feel her hand on your shoulder. The last thing you saw before the greenhouse faded away was a flash of yellow and purple.

There was the distant sound of voices, too muffled to understand. When your eyes blinked open blearily you were in a warm bed, the yellowed lamp light casting the log walls in deep, Caravaggio shadows. You sat up and clenched your stomach. From the crack in the door you heard laughter- the fake, studio kind, and knew it was a television. You were still in the cabin.

The door squeaked. “You're up, thank goodness. I debated on whether I should take the hour drive into town to get you to a hospital, but I had a feeling... how are you?”

She was holding a tray in her hands, just lingering in the doorway. The look of upset on her face made a stone of guilt settle in your chest.

You rubbed your head, speaking softly. “I... my stomach hurts. I just feel sick. I didn't have time to eat the lunch I packed, and all the stress... I guess I must have passed out. What time is it?” You looked around for a clock, but the digital clock on the beside table was unplugged.

“Past nine. Sorry,” she came and sat the tray on the table and took a seat at the end of the bed. The tray had a thick sandwich on it with a sliced up orange on the side. You clenched your fists into the quilt, salivating at the sight of food. You couldn't reach for it just yet.

“I feel like this was more my fault than anything. I've been alone here so long I got carried away. I really should not have introduced you,” she looked at the hardwood floor. “It would have been for the best if I'd just driven you back.”

She was right, on some level, that the burden of knowledge was hard to bare. “Those things can speak.”

She smiled wistfully and nodded. “Yes, they can. And they've been a secret from the general populous for decades.” You were both quiet for a beat. “They're going extinct.”

Your wide eyes implored her to continue. “I started working here in my late twenties. That was... the early nineties. But they'd had this place built way before that, maybe back in the fifties, I'm not sure. I'm not privy to everything. I'm just. A caretaker. The caretaker, now.”

“There did used to be a team, back when I had just been hired onto this ~mysterious government task force~ that, for some reason, needed an entomologist. That's just a fancy word for bug scientist, if you didn't know.” She smirked. “Over the years funding was lost. They didn't want to allow the masses to know about what is essentially the most intelligent species on Earth next to humans. A species that could talk, learn human language, better than any chimpanzee or gorilla. But they couldn't keep a full team of six out here, either.”

You frowned. “So... you were the only one left on. The 'bug scientist,” you concluded, glancing towards the pitch black window.

She nodded once. “Just me and the bugs. And that bastard, Vervain,” she chuckled. “We've- I've- been caring for them. Trying to help them survive their extinction. These massive, intelligent predators, just trying to adapt and failing. But we have greenhouses, and resources, and... I'm trying my best. That's all.”

After a long, silent hesitation she stood up. “Well, please help yourself, sweetheart. If you don't like what I made you're free to have whatever is in the fridge. When you're ready, I'll drive you to your hotel,” she started to leave.

“Wait, at this hour of night?”

She hung in the doorway and shrugged. “Yeah. Not like I have anything else better to do.” Then she left and shut the door soundlessly.

So you ripped into your food (after taking the tomato off). Your empty stomach was grateful and a full, heavy sensation overcame you, just another reminder how stupid you had been to not eat your lunch as soon as you'd gotten lost. You listened to the far-off sound of Gladys's television. It was peaceful. As you dove into the orange slices you felt a fierce desire to collapse in your hotel room bed. To sleep, to finish out your stay, and fly back home. There, your empty house, cold and dim, would welcome you with open arms. You sighed and stared at the black window.

All this had been their fault. You weren't supposed to come on this vacation alone. But the hotel room had been non-refundable, and you had already booked the plane tickets well in advance. Regretful you lost out on the second ticket, having to eat the exorbitant price out of pocket. When you had arrived on the island you thought perhaps it would have been worth it after all; the beaches were clean, the small tourist town friendly and different. Everyone needed a change. You, most of all. But then you saw her in the woods, and you ran. Your eyes fell to your gauzed knee.

“I like humans. Stay here.”

How could that thing ask that of you? After what she had done? You finished your meal and stood, legs taking you towards the door and voice ready to declare “let's leave!” But your foot struck something leaned against the bed and you paused. Your backpack, and beside it your camera. You froze. That thing- she- Vervain- had brought your bag back to you after you'd dropped it at the fence. You stole a slow breath, exhaled, and decided you needed some air.

Beyond the door was a short hall lined with doors, which you ignored in favor of creeping back to the living room. Gladys wasn't there. The sound of the T.V. came from a side room connected to the dining room. You decided to ignore it for now; your head was swimming in the confined space. You just wanted warm night air on your skin. Just to let yourself think. So you crept through the front door onto the porch, arms crossed tightly, and let the calm night overtake you.

The moon was full. The silvery light somehow made the surrounding forest more frightening, as it caused the tall trees to have longer shadows. It felt like they were all reaching towards you. You stood there, breathing, just existing and wishing you didn't.

Then, something moved beside the porch. Your head snapped and your gaze pierced the dark corner of the house; there was something there, unmoving, but it was too dark there to tell what it was. When it grew larger you decided no, definitively not a wheelbarrow that an animal had bumped into. The silhouette was wholly and entirely insectoid. You had to slap both hands over your mouth to keep the scream in, and instinctively began backing towards the door.

“Wait,” came the quiet voice you'd begun associating with Gladys's mantids.

Vervain stepped carefully into the moonlight, moving with all six of her limbs. Her purple eyes reflected the light back softly.

“Are you going to eat me?” You stammered without thought through your fingers.

Vervain tilted her head, her front limbs coming up from the ground to press against her chest. She shook her head, mouth parts grinding finely. After a brief moment she spoke. “I came to see if you had been sick. Gladys turns me away.”

You looked confused. Though shaking, you were able to get your hands at least down from your mouth to your chest, where you wrung them tightly. “Oh, that's... I'm okay.”

She stared, so eerily still she looked fake. “You fell down.”

The shock and oddness of this pressed upon you like so many suffocating blankets. It was taking a while to get your fearful brain in gear to processes anything, but she acted like she had all night. It was like wading in a dream.

“Yeah, I... I hadn't eaten since morning. And with uh, everything... I'm okay,” you said uncertainly.

Her claws crossed, forming a great X. Her head turned at an unnatural angle, looking around, at the trees, then the glaring eye of the moon, down to the porch's floorboards and finally back to you. She rubbed her forearms together idly. You'd almost clock the body language as nervous.

“If you are well, would you like to meet my siblings?” Her head turned at a ninety-degree angle.

A pitiful laugh choked out of you. “I'm not convinced that any of you don't at least want to eat me. I saw you, in the woods. With the...” You swallowed. You could not get over the trauma of blood dripping down before you.

She continued rubbing her forearms together, thinking. “We eat mostly plants. We don't want to eat you.”

You balked. “Plants? I'm not an anta... entoma... bug scientist, but praying mantises do not eat plants.”

Vervain's head swooped back into a more natural angle and she shook it. “Perhaps our small cousins. But that is not us. My siblings are still in the garden, preparing. You should come see, so you will believe me.”

You actually allowed her to take you there. She led you through the dark, and you kept a good few feet distance from her. As you followed behind you watched her legs; her claws were extended to the ground, and a small hand on each one supported her weight as she crawled with all six limbs. Like this, her claws were useless for capture. It only gave you a small relief.

She took you behind the greenhouses. There were small, bulb-like lights on the ground that lit the garden dimly, highlighting rows of vegetables and squat trees. As you approached you slowed. There was movement within the dark patches, and then a shadow passed before one of the lights, and another. But nothing came towards you. They stayed within the realm of the garden.

Vervain spoke quietly towards the shadows you understood to be her kin, but you couldn't hear her. Not until she turned her head. “Come see. You may eat from the plants here, too.”

You wandered closer only after she stopped looking at you. Nervously, you took residence next to a tree, leaning against its trunk within the dark. Shining eyes, reflecting the moon and yard lights, watched you. You couldn't tell how many there were.

“You're still here.”

You yelped and flew away from the tree, just about falling into Vervain in your escape. In the tree's branches sat huge sapphire eyes. Rhod crawled down and loomed above the two of you.

“Glad to see our guest is well. You decided to listen to my elder offspring and stay? You would be better in your own human home,” she said, standing tall and regal, her too-long wings spread slightly as if to say I'm better than you.

“She wanted to see the garden,” and there was a hint of defensiveness there.

Rhod was looking down at Vervain now. “So she has seen it. She should return before the envoy arrives. It will frighten her.”

“Gladys will be here, and it does not frighten her.”

You got the feeling you were right in between two massive personalities having an argument that went deeper than what you heard on the surface. “Um,” you peeped. They were ignoring you.

“Gladys has taken care of us for a long time, this one has not. It will frighten her, and you will be hurt. Let her leave,” Rhod's voice was short and louder than you'd heard it before- which wasn't saying much.

“I can leave anytime I want,” you said, feeling oddly attacked despite not being a part of whatever was happening.

Saying that had been a mistake, because Rhod's head snapped down like a magnet. You flinched at her harsh aura.

Realizing she was losing, she began to move backwards up into her tree again. “I wont comfort you when you are hurt again. Only Gladys and her own people should be here. Not this one. Not the last one. Or the one before that.” She sat atop the tree like a gigantic, mantis-shaped Christmas star, her wings flaring up threateningly.

You looked up at Vervain. You hadn't expected to feel bad for one of these creatures, which did scare you as Rhod stated plainly, but you did. Vervain wasn't even looking back at you, but straight ahead, past the trunk of the tree into the garden, her mouth parts still.

“You've seen the garden,” she said slowly, dejectedly. “But not my siblings. I can take you deeper, or I can take you back to the house.”

Her mother's wings settled back down like this compromise gave her the win, after all. But you could not say no now. It didn't feel right, and there was something you were missing. Curiosity ate away at you.

“I,” you took an unsteady breath. “Want to meet your siblings.”

As if surprised, she met your eyes for the first time in a few minutes. Tiny parts of her body re-adjusted, straightening, like you'd made her happy. She turned and began to abscond from the tree where Rhod rested, and you followed.

Deeper in were the shining eyes, the flecks that flashed like stars against the minuscule light. She brought you closer until several of them grouped in excitement and their skinny mantid bodies could be made out against the darkness and shadow. The group made you anxious. How many damn bugs lived on this property? But, keeping well behind Vervain, you got a fleeting sense she would not let these creatures- her siblings- hurt you. It was a new feeling. You began to think perhaps you should not trust yourself, either.

“[Y/N], my siblings of two generations. From my clutch, Wisteria, Ginkgo, Olive, and Cherry. From the second, Yucca and Fig. Aga is not here,” she was watching for your reaction, her huge body standing between the shining eyes and your own.

At first no one spoke; only the large, almost Vervain-sized ones leaned in closer, their front arms pressed to the dirt so they could lean further still. Then one of the group, a frail, thin-bodied mantis half the size of Vervain broke the awkward silence.

“Did you steal this one?” It was a tiny, sweet sound, like a younger boy. It would be cute were it not for the implications of the question.

Vervain's posture became antagonistic, her wings beating. The small one backed under the legs of a mantid a size below Vervain- the one you thought had been called Ginkgo.

“Fig,” Vervain said. “The youngest. The least likely to mate.”

Ah, so even giant insects had annoying little bothers.

He hissed and lifted his arms without spreading his claws. Ginkgo shook her head, one of her claws lowering beneath her body to bump against Fig. “Usually gone by now. Mother must not be happy with you.”

Another small, tiny-voiced mantis, the one called Yucca, broke in. “You haven't been here all day! You're the one who won't mate.”

“You watch humans all day,” Fig squeaked. “But humans are afraid of us!”

You realized they were all ganging up on Vervain, despite her being the largest of them. A deeper, smoother voice finally came to her aid. It was Wisteria.

“Leave her be to her own,” she said, antenna long and laid back, much like how Rhod kept her own antenna. “We focus on our own health and mating.” With that her mass cleared the way, even Ginkgo, who was bigger than her, stepped to the side. Wisteria craned her head closer to yours, her claw stretching out until the little hand could meet you. “Pleased, [Y/N]. Do not mind them. We are all on the edge waiting for others to come.”

It struck you odd how polite and civil Wisteria was, compared to the way all the rest had been treating you and one another. She even knew what a handshake was. You took it gingerly. Wisteria's grip was dainty and the shake was brief.

“We just worry about our eldest, is all,” Ginkgo said.

Yucca chirruped softly: “Mother worries most.”

You rubbed your arm and shrugged, unsure whose eyes you should meet. “To be honest... I don't think I get what's going on. Does being around me- er, humans- make the 'others' less likely to mate with-” you gestured with a nod towards Vervain, who looked distant.

The two large females met eyes. They exchanged something in that split second glance that you could not infer. Then Wisteria awkwardly drew her attention back to yours while Ginkgo rubbed her claws across one another.

“No,” she said. “Vervain just gets-”

“Distracted!” Fig declared, finally coming out from under his sister.

“Too distracted,” Yucca's posture showed off his irritation.

Vervain wasn't looking at the group. She acted like she really didn't want to be a part of this chat, like she was barely listening to it at all. You pursed your lips, sparing her a side eye.

“I don't want to be a distraction,” you said carefully. “It seems like this is important. Gladys said you guys were... not doing well,” your voice trailed off in realization that perhaps this wasn't a nice thing to say.

“Dying!” Yucca yelled, claws and wings stiff and wide.

Ginkgo nudged him and he fell over, making little inhuman sounds of displeasure. “We are not dying,” she whisper-yelled.

Wisteria ground her mouth parts, body lowering a few inches as if deflating. “We cannot and should not force this. Do we not deserve happiness, too? Vervain does not have to mate if she does not want to,” her head snapped down towards the two loudest of her brothers, one which was still flailing on the ground like a child. “So we should leave her to her own. [Y/N] is welcome, and is a guest, if she wills it.”

Yucca finally stopped but laid on the ground, muttering, while Fig shrank in on himself and stopped retorting.

Suddenly Vervain's soft, honey voice shut them all up. “You have now unfortunately met my siblings which I fear was a mistake on my part,” she slowly looked down upon you. “I am sorry. Shall I take you to the house now?”

You looked between Vervain and her sisters, then held up a hand. “Wait, so, do you guys really eat plants?”

Wisteria and Ginkgo tilted their heads in tandem, but only Wisteria responded. “Yes, something that seemed to interest all humans who cared for us. I hear this isn't common for our smaller cousins. Thus, we were given this garden,” she gestured wildly with a claw. “And the orchard, deeper inside the wood. I see this interests you, too.”

You nodded, thinking. Vervain was watching you, waiting, and you eventually dropped your hand and replied to her. “Well...did you also want to show me the orchard?”

The angle of her body tilted up in surprise. “As delighted as would be, it is a long walk.”

“Ah.”

She began to walk back in the direction of the greenhouses and cabin, her purple eyes gleaming as she checked that you were following. You offered the others a polite tip of the head in acknowledgment, a quick nice to meet you all, and then skittered after the strange Vervain.

The two of you moved in silence, and you got the feeling Vervain wasn't just walking slow out of laziness. She looked contemplative.

You broke the awkward atmosphere. “Well they were... nice.”

She didn't even glance back at you. Pausing, she expressed her discontent. “I wish mother and my sisters treated me like they treat my brothers.”

You thought back to Yucca and Fig, how loud and expressive they were compared to their sisters, and in spite of being so small and skinny. You sent the back of Vervain's head an inquisitive scrunch of the face.

“You want to be pushed around?” You asked.

She finally looked at you, flinching, and you felt perhaps that had not been the right thing to say. “No, not that,” she turned her head back to the ground as you passed the greenhouses. Then she stopped walking.

She always took a long time to respond, as if she were considering every minute thing that passed through her mind before she said it aloud. So far Vervain had yet to impart the asshole-ness that Gladys was so sure she was. She was... intelligent and considerate. Good qualities. Qualities not even some people had. Your chest stung and your lips tightened, and your wandering memories of home only faded once she began speaking again.

“Mother wants them to mate, but it's her daughters who carry her family line. As the oldest female she is harder on me,” she looked up at the moon.

You took a step closer, hugging your arms. “And... you don't want to mate, right? That's what the other one said.”

She shook her head and looked down again, antennas drooping. “It isn't that either,” her head turned and looked at you. “Have you ever felt wrong?”

That made you chuckle sadly. “Ohhh yes. I'm sure everyone has felt like a stranger in their own skin at some point. Whether that's feeling like you don't belong, or like... if things could be different they could be better.”

She watched you carefully, as if waiting for you to say psych! Then slowly she compacted her forelimbs up tightly to her chest and her wings taut to her abdomen. “I wish I had been born differently. I wish I could be the one sheltering under my sisters. Small. That I could-” she cut herself off, eyes darting away. “That part doesn't matter. But I agree. Things could have been better.”

You took another few steps. What were you doing? This was weird. But the more she showed you of her home, her kin, the more you were seeing her not as the scary thing raining blood upon your head but rather as a person. A six-legged, unblinking, creepy-crawly person, but a person none the less. A person who was reaching out to a stranger for help and comfort. You weren't heartless. You stood beside her now.

“You sound like someone close to me,” you smiled gently. “My cousin. He used to say things like that before he transitioned. He's much happier, now.”

She made a strange noise in her throat in question. “Transition to where?”

You realized that may not have been something she knew about. Giant insects wouldn't have the same cultural concepts present as humans, especially ones confined to one plot of land their whole lives. Vervain had lived in a bubble.

“To what,” you corrected delicately. “I don't know if it's a thing that, er, your people do. But some humans, at a point in their lives, realize that they aren't what they thought they were. It can... be a little complicated,” you rubbed your arm and smiled sheepishly.

“The gist is some humans are told they're a certain gender when they're born, they get older and realize that the gender doesn't fit with how they feel inside. My cousin was told that he was a girl when he was born, so they treated him like one. When he was twelve he realized he was a boy, so we helped him transition, which just means he changed his outward appearance to better match how he felt.”

She stared at you.

“Does that make sense?” You asked, pitch ticking up.

“I don't think my mother would like that,” she said slowly, looking towards the cabin.

You shrugged. “Well, it can be really hard for humans like that too. Not everyone understands. It's shitty. What about your siblings?”

Vervain thought hard, going through all of them. “Wisteria would stand up for me. And the others would follow her lead.”

You grinned, hopeful. “I would support you too!”

Her head snapped up and she fiddled with her claws. “You're the nicest human I've ever met. I've already learned so much from you. I wish you could stay here for a while.”

The skin along the back of your neck and face began to warm and you found you could no longer look at her. You decided to ignore the compliment, deflecting it back to the original conversation. “Do you want to be called a boy then? I could call you he him.”

Vervain's mouth ground into itself, the little 'fingers' framing them wiggling. “I... would not say no.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. You started off towards the cabin and Vervain followed, coming up quickly beside you. “Will you be leaving tonight?”

You wrung your hands behind you back and hummed. “If I left so soon you couldn't show me the orchard. It's a long walk, remember? Better to go during the day.”

He stopped walking for a beat, little pupils trained on your back. Then he picked it back up and skittered after you as the two of you rounded the cabin corner. “I... I will look forward to it.”

Before you could reach the door it burst open and a frantic Gladys stumbled out, car keys jingling in one hand and flashlight in the other. She grumbled to herself then started, noticing you were frozen on the steps with a mantis framing your body behind you. She exclaimed relief.

“I couldn't find you! I was about to go check the greenhouses thinking someone kidnapped you,” she shot Vervain a harsh glare.

“Why does everyone keep mentioning kidnapping?” You mumbled under your breath. You shook yourself. “I'm fine! I went out for some air, and well,” you thumbed back at Vervain. “Found some company.”

“I was worried sick kid,” she leaned against the door frame, hand on her forehead. She let out a hard breath. “I guess you're ready to go then.” The keys were jostled between two fingers.

“Actually, I,” you spared Vervain a quick look. “I wouldn't mind staying. Um... if that was okay. Maybe just for another day. But I don't want to impose.”

Gladys was incredulous and it suddenly became tense. Then she straightened up and the look of exasperation turned to one of bemusement as her eyes slipped between the two of you in rapid succession. “Don't know how this ass convinced you, but... I'd love to have you as a guest, you wouldn't impose! The good Lord knows I need to be around more people,” she peered at Vervain. “Human people.”

You gave a final nod. “Well, then I... should probably get some rest.”

Vervain backed away from the porch into the shadow cast by a tall, scrawny pine. “Goodnight,” he said quietly.

“Goodnight, Vervain,” you raised your hand.

Gladys waved dismissively and lead you inside her cabin, closing the door and shutting Vervain out.

[peachypizzicato]

an about? on MY blog? its more likely thank u think (semi outdated, will be replaced eventually, f/o list is up to date though :3c)

hi there! i’m opal/anemone, but my friends call me callie/cal and sometimes i refer to myself as peachy so anything is fine! i’m 20 and my pronouns are she/her (but they/them are fine too)!

this is my main self shipping blog! pretty much every post here will either be about self ship in general or my f/os and their source, so if you aren’t keen on those this probably isn’t the blog for you!

i self ship mostly as a comfort thing, so my main purpose here is to just chill and have fun! :)

some important things to note:

-as stated, im an adult! as far as this account goes that means i’ll curse fairly often, so if you’re uncomfy with that you may want to tread lightly! (i also have an nsfw side blog, minors please do not follow or interact there, adult followers are welcome to ask for the url!)

-i can put on an outgoing face when posting, but im actually really nervous with new people! so please be mindful if you decide to hop into dms, small talk is pretty difficult for me!

-i don’t really have any notable triggers or anything like that, just don’t be weird, y’know? my account is meant to be safe and comfortable for everybody!

my tags:

-peachyrambles: textposts usually, just me runnin’ my yap

-peachyart: my art, if that wasn’t obvious! more often than not revolving around self ship, but sometimes crossposts from my general

-peachymisc: any post that isn’t exclusively text but also isn’t a high enough effort piece to fall under the art tag, middle of the road type stuff

-peachy’s prized possessions: gifts and fanart and the like! pretty much anything that people make for me, it means the world to me <3

-[name] appreesh/appreciation: reblogs or submissions from friends n muts that i interact with a lot!! sometimes also on fanart of inserts n things if we’re close enough :0

-peanut gallery: anonymous asks/submissions, regardless of whether they’re identified or not (identified anons usually get the previous tag too!)

-i don’t do content warnings much, but i’d be happy to within reason! don’t be afraid to ask :)

ship specific info:

-i don’t really have a huge problem with others shipping with my f/os, all i ask is that everyone shows mutual respect! nobody is more entitled to them than anybody else, there’s enough of them to go around!

-i don’t really have specific tags for ships, since i’m awful at thinking of clever ship names, but currently i only have a few (mostly from the same source, fnf, no less!) so they aren’t terribly hidden!

-however, for reference, my s/i’s are:

•penelope “penny” (rom: senpai [week 6]), who you can see in my icon!

•olive (rom: garcello [smoke em out struggle mod], plat: annie [vs annie mod]), with the bright red hair! (content hiatus)

•elodie (rom: chris [demonic discourse mod/hellbent]), with the ponytail and the big round glasses!

•cordelia (rom: raine whispers, child: golden guard/hunter [the owl house]), with the pointy ears!

•autumn spice cookie (rom: roguefort cookie [cookie run ovenbreak]), from like one single post!

•snickerdoodle cookie (rom: eggnog cookie, plat: tiramisu cookie [cookie run ovenbreak]), from the… more posts?

•calliope “callie” (rom: nadia, muriel, and asra [the arcana]), with the two-tone hair!

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 25

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 18,006

WARNINGS: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, Continuous First Person to Third Person POV Shifts, ONE! Tom Third Person POV, Self-harm, Alcohol, SMUT! (NSFW): oral sex (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex

Summary: It’s March of 1922, Ali’s nearing the end of her stay with the Shelby’s. After years of waiting, she’s finally ready to move on, but will fate let her. 

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 24.2  CHAPTER 26

A/N: This chapter contains some POV switches as will the next chapter! Y’all know the deal. Black line breaks are there as a warning for the self harm scene. Only 1 ‘n it’s small! 

Smut is finally here! I haven’t written a SMUT scene in forever, so I fear I’m a little out of touch. 

It’s March of 1922 and things are going great! Well, not really, I had a mental breakdown so... I mean, not as bad as my last one, which was like a year ago. But, I was coming to terms with the fact that I killed someone! Someone who I did not have a paid hit on, but I murdered out of pure hatred. 

So, I had to do some inner reflection on that, and it would have gone a lot smoother if I had chosen to stop doin’ my side job. But I didn’t. I kept on with my “assassinating.” 

So was I really healed? Probably not, but hey! I don’t think about it anymore. I did it, I got away with— let’s move on. The guy was a douche anyway. Probably did society a favor. 

Yeah…

Right now I was cleaning up at Cassie’s flat. The gang was coming over soon, and I had to get the blood of a client off of me. The job was easier than most. I infiltrated another big party, seduced the target, and shot them in the chest and in the head. It’s a rule of thumb I have that I took from Zombieland. I got some blowback on me, so that’s why I’m taking a shower.

I’m not in the best of spirits tonight. Why, you may ask? Well, it’s because Michael and Arthur were to be arrested tonight. The only reason I knew was because Moss tipped me off. He caught me while I was visiting his wife. He took me aside and told me that Campbell had reason to arrest Michael, and he told me when it was going to take place.

The only reason why he was letting me know was because Campbell had his own plans for me. He didn’t know if Campbell wanted me arrested, but if I was on the scene— I was to be taken in. 

Let me tell you, I was so fucking proud of myself for befriending Moss’s wife! The single best thing I ever did. I mean, I knew I would be “bailed out” in no time thanks to all my rich mates, but Michael would still be in the clink. I think. I could ask around for some connections, if I needed to or was asked.

But, yeah. Michael and Arthur were being arrested tonight while I was at Cassie’s. Of course I felt guilty that I couldn’t prevent it, but it’s not like I could in the first place. That would mess with the timeline too much. 

Eventually, I got out of the shower, dried off, and put on my underwear. I’ve been trying to get more comfortable with my breasts, so I haven’t been wearing my bra to bed. In nothing but my towels and underwear, I walked out into the room.

“So,” I began while walking over to the bed, where I had my clothes laid out. “What’s on tonight’s agenda? Some heavy flirting? A therapy session? Or some good old fashion gambling?”

Cassie giggled, a pillow in her grasp as she threw open her arms. “All of it, babes!”

I chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear.” I dropped my towel and put on my dress. It was a velvet robe-like dress. Very flowy and comfortable, though it had a deep v-neck. Again, trying to get comfortable with my tits. Luckily, this process has been going on for a while and Dougie and Horace are now used to seeing a bit of my cleavage.

The pair do not regard me as anything more than a mate. Dougie is like my male twin flame while Cassie’s my female twin flame. They just match my vibe so fucking well! While Horace...well, he only has eyes for Angie. We bond pretty well academically, though. He answers a lot of questions I have pertaining some of the hypotheticals I conjure while writing.

After I put on my dress, I lotioned up my legs and arms before moving on to caring for my hair. I was brushing it out when the gang came in.

Dougie came up to me and kissed my temple before heading toward the table with the rest of the group. I hurriedly scrunched up my hair as I desperately wanted to join the conversation in fear of being left out. 

I threw my hair towel aside and quickly shuffled to the table. Cassie saw me coming and got up from her seat.

While beckoning me to her, she said. “Ali, c’mere.” 

I sat in her chair and once I was settled down, she sat on my lap. I sighed before asking, “So, what are we playing first?”

Cassie was sitting on my lap sidesaddle. She reached over on the table to the carton of ciggies that someone had thrown, tapped it on the bottom before pulling two out. 

With a ciggie hanging from her mouth, Angie replied while shuffling the cards. “We decided on Go Fish. Your favorite.” She winked at me and I returned it.

I giggled before accepting the ciggie Cassie held for me. She rested hers on her lip and just as she went to lit it— Dougie leaned over to us.

“Here, just use mine.” He said while pressing the end his ciggie to hers. 

Muffled, Cassie replied. “Thanks.” She looked back to me, took my face in her hands, and connected the ends of our ciggies. Basically, repeating what she’d just done with Dougie.

I swear to God, this group is so sus. And I think I’m partially at fault for how close and open the group is. I’m sorry, okay, I’m a physical person and I cut through the bullshit with the people I hold dear!

Angie dealt the cards, and I slid them closer to my face. I was exhaling when Cassie decided to start the conversation flow again.

She asked. “So Tina, how’s your married man? What was his name again?”

Tina tsked, a scowl on her face. “Darren, his name’s Darren. And, he’s fine...”

I raised an eyebrow. “Just fine? Who the hell’s starting?”

Angie cleared her throat. “I dealt so Douglas goes. Cassie’s sitting in your lap, so either you or her is next and vise versa. Then, Tina goes and finally Horace before me.”

I nodded as a quiet “oh” escaped my mouth. I looked back over at Tina.

Tina replied. “Yes, just fine.”

“So, has he filed for a divorce from his wife? Any sevens?” Dougie asked.

Horace and Angie gave him their cards.

Tina pouted, her arms crossing defensively. “He—! He’s been avoiding the question.”

All of us shared a glance and some of us hummed.

Dougie asked. “Any fives?”

“You know, statistically and due to England’s current standpoint on divorce— Darren is less likely to actually ask his wife for a divorce. There is an even lesser probability that the divorce would even be granted in a court of law—” 

The four of us girls shouted. “Go fish!”

“--because we’re obsessed with this “Christian purity.” And, his wife would have to be the adulterer. And as it stands right now only he has—!” Horace was spewing before he was cut off. His face contorting in pain before hunching over. 

Collectively, we all glanced at Tina, who was not holding up well. 

This was not going good, and the urge to tell her that I told her so, was not helping. She should just dump him, but eh, who was I to judge? 

I cleared my throat before holding my ciggie away from my lips, and asking through an exhale, “Anyone got any Queens?”

Cassie didn’t hesitate to give me two. I took the two I had in my hands and laid the four cards on the table. 

“Anyone got any nines?”

Angie threw one of her cards to me. Cassie passed it to me before looking over to Tina.

She said. “Well, Tina. Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you. If ya want to stay with him, or leave him. We’ll be right here for ya.” 

All of us tried comforting her ‘n all we managed to get was a small smile in return. It didn’t reach her eyes, I knew that. However, I really wanted to have a good time so I was looking to change the subject. 

‘Just—! Anyone please talk about anything else!’

As I inhaled, I asked. “Any threes?”

“Go fish!”

I tsked.

I was laying down on the floor with Horace. Our arms were extended up in the air and we laid opposite to each other, if that made sense. Like basically, our heads were right next to each other. 

Our arms were in the air because I was playing with Horace’s fingers. Angie, Tina, Cassie, and Dougie were either sitting on the sofas/couches, or somewhere else in the room. He was a little drunk and wanted to calm down, so I offered to stay with him.

“So, how are things going with Angie, buddy?” I asked while still playing with his fingers.

He sighed and then chuckled. “Better. I think she… I think she’s beginning to like me back.”

I hummed and chuckled under my breath. “Well, don’t get too cocky there. She’ll knock back down a peg or two if she finds out that you’re feeling like that.”

Horace scoffed. “Don’t I know it. Hey! The only way she’d find out is if you tell her!”

My eyes widened and I spluttered rolling over to my sides. When I calmed down, I repositioned myself and grabbed hold of his fingers again. I sighed. “Well, that’s true but I promise I’ve never told her a thing.”

That’s a blag, I’m almost certain. It probably slipped from my tongue from time to time. 

I was running my fingertips over his short-cut fingernails while blowing raspberries. I took a deep breath before asking, “Well, you guys went on that date like last week, right? Angie’s told us some things, but how’d it go from your perspective?”

He blew raspberries before replying, “I think it went rather well. I mean she actually paid attention to me this time.”

I couldn’t help but snicker. “Oh my god, Horace!”

“It’s true! This time I felt like she was actually like looking at me. I don’t know. She’s hard to read sometimes, but it’s endearing, really.”

“So, you’re saying that you like the mysterious side to her?”

“Yeah. Yeah, in a way, I am.”

“So, if you discover all there is to her, do you think you will lose interest in her?”

Horace and I grew quiet. His arms flopped down to his side which I repeated. I rolled over to my side, an arm supporting my head as my other hand scratched away at the rug.

Horace mimicked how I was laying, so that we were facing each other, and he sighed through his nose. “I don’t think I’ll ever know everything about her. People typically evolve over time as do their curiosities and interests. So, I don’t think you nor I nor Angie will ever fully know one another. However, to answer your question, no, I don’t think I would lose interest in her even if I knew everything about her. I—! I’ve been in love with her since I was a child, so it would be pretty odd if I were to just lose interest once we were together. I mean, then why the hell did I waste all these years pinning after her. You know?”

I hummed and nodded. “I feel that.” I continued picking at the rug. “Hey, Horace?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, um. Basically, you know what, nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No, come on. Ask me.”

“No—”

“Just ask me.”

I sighed and looked down. “Well, I wanted to ask you since you’re a guy ‘n all. Um, why doesn’t Tommy like me?”

Horace’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he jerked his body around a little. Basically, shaking on his side like a mermaid out of water would, but not as violent. “Now, Aliena. Do you want an honest answer, or do you just want one that will solidify the ideas you already have in your head?”

I chuckled, a small smile spreading across my face before I shouted. “Both!”

Horace rolled over to his back and I inched closer to him. I hovered above him as he spoke. “Okay, then. The honest answer is, well, why does anyone not reciprocate a person’s love? It could simply be because you’re not the person’s type, or there could be any other extenuating circumstance. Why—? Why does Angie not acknowledge my love when I’m obviously ready to give her my all? She just has her reasons. Now, I’m not her nor am I your Tommy, so I can’t speak for him. I don’t know why he won’t look your way. Only he could truly tell you.”

I blinked, my mood souring. I took a deep breath and reached up to fiddle with the collar of his white dress shirt. “And the answer that would solidify my thoughts?” I whispered.

We stared into each other’s eyes as he replied. “You met him too early in life. You met him too early in life, and now all he can see is that 16 year old girl. Not to mention the 12 year age gap! I mean it would probably be nothing, if the both of you had met now, as you are 20 and he’s 32, but you met when you were 16 and 28. I—! Don’t get me wrong a lot of men would have gotten with you being 28 and you being 16. So, regretfully, I have to applaud the man.”

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s the truth, Ali. Men are—! Men aren’t the best. I’ve learned more than enough of the struggle women go through because of men from Angie, believe me!”

“Oh, I believe you!”

We chuckled before falling to a silence. 

Horace continued. “There’s also your personality!”

My jaw dropped and my face contorted. I smacked his chest as I gasped. “What’s wrong with my personality!”

He raised his arms and tried defending himself from my attacks. A big ol’ smile on his face. “Ali, you’re very affectionate! Do you know that? God, I’d have believed that Cassie would have fought with you if she didn’t know about Tommy. It’s honestly rather settling to know that you actually have your heart set on someone ‘cause you’d have fooled the rest of us!”

I pouted. Still fiddling with his collar, I asked in a childish voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you flirt with everyone in the group. You know that, right? You sit on Douglas’s lap. You sit on my lap! You sit on Angie’s! You kiss us on the cheek. Dougie kisses your cheek or temple. Then, there’s your unique fashion sense. I’m not judging your choice to display what God gave you. Angie would kill me if I did! But, you can even ask Douglas, we—! Well, I! Don’t regard you all that innocent, anymore. If you get what I mean, I—!”

I waved my hands as a way to stop him from tripping himself over his words even more. “I, I know what you’re trying to say. I get it all the time. Your point is?”

Horace took a deep breath before rubbing his forehead and letting his hand rest there. “Well, don’t you think that a person will just either get used to the affection or eventually grow annoyed by it?”

I’m regretting talking to him entirely.

“I don’t act like that with him, Horace. He’s still my boss, you know. I—! I could never!”

His eyes widened. “O-Oh! Then, disregard that last statement. Uh...”

I mean, but I have thought about that. I debated whether or not my compassion and love for the man was being taken for granted. Well, that he was manipulating me into like placating his feelings. I’m more used to that treatment coming from girls. You know, they act like they’re sad just so that I can comfort them— that sort of thing! I don’t deny that it’s crossed my mind.

Horace cleared his throat. “Well, then, perhaps he’s the sort of man that can’t handle you. You’re very independent and upbeat. I mean you can be serious when the moment calls for it, but you’re quick to giggle. Maybe he just wants a damsel in distress. Maybe he wants a more serious, proud woman. Proud being opposite to your “down to earthness.” Is what I’m trying to say.”

I snickered. “Uh… Right, okay? That was a whole lot in a small package. Um, right, okay then! Well, thank you for giving me your most honest answers, sir.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome, madam.”

I snickered away while cringing and then stuck my tongue out at him. Eventually, we got up from the floor and rejoined the group. We chatted away while sipping our bevvies, and nursed our cigarettes before finding ourselves seated on the couches. 

Tina and Cassie were sitting on the couch opposite to Dougie and I. I was sitting rather close to him with my legs draped over his thighs. His right hand rested on my thigh while I ran my fingers through the back of his hair. 

Ah! I see what Horace was talking about. Yeah, all those Tik toks ‘n shit are coming back to me. Maybe I should ask Cassie how she feels about my touchiness? Oh, I definitely should. Great! Fucking dammit! Why did my love language have to be physical touch? 

He was telling me about his week when Angie’s voice was growing increasingly more loud by the second. She was pacing back ‘n forth in front of Horace, who was sitting on the arm of the couch.

Angie groaned exaggeratedly before snapping her fingers and shouting, “Ali, Ali! What about your opinion, eh? How do you feel living in these times while looking the way you do? Acting the way you do?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at both Cassie and Dougie. They both gave me shrugs. I sighed before pushing some of my hair away from my face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a drink in her right hand and waving about her left, she said. “Well, I mean you don’t conform to beauty standards. Right? Your hair is still very long, you typically wear what you want to wear. You enhance your curves and you know, embrace the waves in your hair. I mean that’s almost the total opposite of the way women dress today.”

I get that I was out of tune with the modern style, but she was making it sound like I was trying to be some sort of trendsetter.

I giggled and waved a hand and dismissed her comment. “I don’t know what to say. I wear what I want to wear. I—!”

“Exactly! Exactly. You wear what you want to wear. And, and you scrap with men. You fight your own battles. I mean—!”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Angie, Angie, wait a minute. I—! Look, we live one life. I intend on living it how I want. That’s all.”

She nodded. “I know! Exactly and that’s what I love about you. You don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks. You live your life the way you want, and I don’t know... Well, like tell us—! No, tell me how you do all this without worrying about snagging a man.”

Ah! And the other shoe drops. 

I sighed and rubbed my left eye. “Ah, okay. There we go, something I can answer. First and foremost, I dress and act however I want regardless of how a man sees me. How he chooses to warp me in his head, in anyone one’s head, is their problem. I will talk, dress, act, laugh anyway I want because at the end of the day— I have to live with myself and love myself. That’s how I go about my business.”

She began clapping and nodding, her lips pursed. 

Oh god, she was tipsy.

Angie snapped her fingers. “Exactly. And! And the beauty standards men put on us and other women expect each other to uphold is ridiculous. Like how the hell is one figure more attractive than another. Women are—! Women, men, everybody should be appreciated. Why, Why do we have to favor one type more over the other? I-I mean, I understand preferences but to subject people to a set criteria when some of us aren’t even capable of accomplishing that standard. It’s—! It’s preposterous.”

Angie raised her free hand to her forehead and she scratched it. “Take Aliena and Cassie for example, they can’t become more flat-chested. They can’t make them smaller. Nor, nor can they help their curvy figures! Why should society tell them to, you know, bind their breasts or something. Or to hide their figures in loose fitted clothing! They’re beautiful! Beautiful!”

All of us shared a glance at one another before bursting with laughter. We laughed so much that I’m sure all of our stomachs ached in pain. 

Through her laughter, Cassied rasped. “Angie, Angie sit the fuck down ‘n take a breather, hon’! For the love of...”

I chimed in. “Yes, please sit down before you blow a casket ‘n like faint or some shit.”

Angie pouted through a smile and plopped down on the couch. “I’m just saying. I mean Aliena, you exercise, right? Like, you work out in a way that a man does. Not just take strolls or ride bikes.”

I wiped under my eyes before nodding ‘n sniffling. “Yeah, I do. I exercise for myself. I don’t do it to please society or any man. I do it for me.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to Dougie’s hair.

Angie snapped her fingers and pointed at me. “Thank you. I love you. Thank you. And that’s why I want to tear down Hollywood.”

“Ah—!” I snickered and shook my head before blowing her a kiss.

After that fiasco, things called down a bit ‘n I went back to talking to Dougie. He was tapping my thigh when he quickly picked up his head and said, “You know I finished developing the photos.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “The photos…? Oh, shit! The photos! How’d they come out?”

Some weeks ago, Dougie bought this camera and wanted to practice his photography skills. He loved the art, but it could never be his main job, for obvious reasons. His father was passing on the company to him, so we all know how that goes. Anyway, I made the suggestion that the gang could be like his practice models ‘n eventually I got everyone to agree.

It was fun, obviously! I helped position everyone and of course, I had to sneak in some 21st century gestures. I just hated that I wouldn’t be alive to see my grandbabies’ faces. I’ll break the timeline, just for this reason. To fuck with my descendents. 

During the day, we went to an empty grassland area and had like a cottagecore photoshoot. It was fucking fantastic! One thing from my bucket list I was lucky to complete. But at night, it was a more risque photoshoot. And yes, even Horace participated in it. I made him as did Angie.

Dougie smiled and nodded. “I think they came out to be pretty good. I’ll bring them next time. It just slipped my mind today.”

I psh-ed him and shoved his head away from me before throwing my head back in a cackle. We talked a bit more before I beckoned somewhere else. I eventually made it back to Cassie, and I was sitting on the couch while she was on the floor. I was messing around with her hair. Right now, I was making a bunch of braids. 

Cassie was eating some fruit while she was talking to Angie. “Okay, but like who was your first kiss?”

Angie hummed through hooded eyes with an arm hanging in the air. “Oh, it was Tina.”

I spluttered and began spazzing out. I scurried off the couch and started running around the room while shouting over and over again. “No way! No way! No fucking way!”

Cassie joined my freak out session by rolling around on the floor and slapping the couch behind her, where I was previously sitting. When I felt calm enough, I ran back to my spot.

I shouted. “No fucking way!”

Angie chortled. “What? Why is it such a big deal?”

“Uh...” Cassie and I just looked at each other. In an American accent, I said. “Well, I mean. I don’t wanna be a bitch, but like when I felt met y’all… You guys were kinda sus. Like Tina, full truth, I thought you had a humongous crush on Angie ‘n yeah so, um, yeah. Did y’all date or…?”

Angie’s eyes widened and she rose from Tina’s lap, who was stunned, by the way. Angie snatched a pillow from the couch and chucked it at me. 

“She’s. Just. Shy. And we were kids when we just did it! It was innocent.” Angie yelled. 

I cried out when the pillow hit me. Through my laughter, I replied. “I’m sorry!”

Angie huffed as she laid back down on Tina’s lap. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not the only one to think it. People just get the wrong idea. She’s just shy.” Angie reached up and caressed Tina’s face. “Oh, we’ve both kissed Horace, too.”

My jaw dropped and a hand flew over my mouth. I looked at Cassie and Dougie, who were just as shocked as me. I screamed into my hand and began running around the room again, only this time I wasn’t alone. Dougie was running in the opposite direction of me. 

He zipped over to Horace while I tackled Cassie on the couch. Well, I more like got her in a headlock ‘n swung her around a bit as I settled onto the couch. 

Tina groaned, averting her gaze from us before running a hand through her hair. She asked. “Well, who were your guys’s first kiss?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Ugh, I guess my first kiss was with my childhood best friend too. Name was Brooklyn.”

“Mine was with Mary, she was a classmate.” Cassie replied.

Angie tsked. “See a girl, right? Why are you harping on us for?”

Cassie and I just shrugged. It was like we had this silent agreement that we weren’t gonna bring up the fact that we kissed each other on the lips as a greeting and a farewell.

“Hey, do you guys think I would look hotter with blonde hair?” I asked.

They all began telling me what they thought. 

Later in the night, we just went wild ‘n I was happy for it. Michael and Arthur didn’t cross my mind once. We blasted our records, danced the night away while chatting, drinking, and smoking away.

I was overwhelmed with emotions at the end of the night because—… Because I never thought I would have a friend group like this, and now that I did— it was surreal. I genuinely felt that I wouldn’t be in the mental state I was in, if they weren’t in my life.

They made everything that much better. I was always happy with Tommy, but that feeling was contorting into something else now. You know? It was becoming increasingly more platonic, and as much as that should feel liberating— it frightened me. 

I have a million reasons why I held out for him for this long and why it frightens me so, and I’m not going to dwell on them. To be honest, I think the moment he did reciprocate my feelings and he told me, I probably would numb myself immediately. I would just be in such a state of shock that I’d deny his feelings ‘n just move the fuck on. 

‘I mean that’s what is expected of me, right?’ 

Since I am the way that I am. I can’t just blame it on social media’s influence. I mean when I imagined the scenario I end up cringing a ton, and I send myself into like a “tic fit.” It’s the best I can describe it. 

Anyhow, back to how the night went! We got super drunk, super high, and probably pissed off Cassie’s neighbors but we settled down at like three or four in the morning. The people living downstairs were most likely the most grateful since we were jumping around like crazy people. 

We, collectively, all crawled onto Cassie’s bed ‘n knocked out. I was probably the first to sleep. I’m not going to tell ya a blag. It was completely plausible. But, what I loved most about tonight— it was that I was surrounded by people who loved me. It was warm and I felt safe. Something I wasn’t even able to feel in my own home at times when I was back in my own universe. 

Cassie was the big spoon while I was the little, and Dougie was her big spoon. I made sure to avoid being in the middle anymore. I talked to Cassie and she was fine with my touching. She said I showed her the same amount of attention, and she knew I didn’t fancy him— so we were good.

However, I didn’t want to interfere with a perfectly good moment. So, I chose to be on the outside while Cassie was in the middle. Yeah, that didn’t stop her from cuddling me instead. I was too intoxicated and tired to tell her to cuddle Dougie instead.

When I woke up, I found it to be fairly early in the morning because the sky was grey. There’s a difference to the 6 am sky and the 8 am sky, okay! I didn’t get up right away. I wanted to savor the tranquility that surrounded me for a little while longer. But like all sweet things, they must come to an end.

My guess is that I was probably stirring around too much by accident ‘n woke up Cassie, who inadvertently awoke Dougie. I tried coaxing her back to sleep, but it was too late for the both of them. Begrudgingly, I inched my way off the bed and strolled over to the table.  

Dougie was right behind me. I could hear his loud yawn from behind me, and then his hands gently fell on top of my head. My head bobbled as he kissed the top of my head. 

“Mornin’, Ali.”

I smiled and while my head did a little dance, I replied. “Morning, Dougie.”

He pulled out a chair for me before going to sit on his own. While gripping the arms of the chair, I scooted closer to the table. I craned my head back to see Cassie on the phone, no doubt ordering food. 

We really didn’t begin talking till the food came. I think we were just still sleepy, but food and orange juice helped. Horace was the first to get up ‘n he attacked the bacon. Then, it was Tina and finally, Angie. Who was very grumpy, by the way. So not happy about being awake.

I don’t know how it happened, but eventually we broke out into a food fight. It was awesome.

“Oi! Fucking watch it!” I exclaimed as I narrowly dodged a ketchup covered egg. I knew it was covered in ketchup ‘cause I saw Tina drown them in it. I grabbed a syrup-soaked waffle and chucked it at Dougie.

It got him right on the side of his face. He exclaimed and his face contorted in disgust. My mouth immediately contorted into deep frown ‘n my eyebrows raised, and when his crazed eyes found mine— I gasped. My gasp was so deep like a man’s that I hurt my throat doing it. 

I held my hands up as I croaked. “Wait.” He inched closer to me. “Wait! Wait!” I turned my back and started running. Something you should know about me, I never liked being chased. It gave me another type of anxiety and happiness— it was so weird. 

Eventually, Dougie caught me and we started wrestling with each other. Through our grunts, I heard the phone ring and Cassie hopped across the room to get to it. She landed on the bed and crawled to the phone. While sitting on her knees, she answered the phone.

I turned my attention back to Dougie and tried crawling away from him as he attacked my sides. It wasn’t my tickle spot, but I laughed at the pain of his fingers digging into my sides, nonetheless. 

“I’m sorry!” I yelled. “I’m sorry! I give, now cut it out.” 

Dougie loosened his hold and sat up on his knees, flipping his bangs to one side as he did so. I didn’t hesitate to get up on my feet. 

“Never!” He shouted. “You got syrup on my face.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I playfully yelled as I charged at him ‘n I barely managed to get him into a headlock when Cassie shouted for me. She motioned the phone toward me, and my smile dropped as did my hold on Dougie.

I walked over to the phone and brought it to my ear. While taking some of the hair that fell into my mouth, I said. “Hello?”

“Aliena, love.” Polly sniffled before continuing, “Thank god you’re alright. Um, I need you to come home, darling.”

“Polly, you’re crying. What’s happened?” I’m only half-ashamed to admit that I was exaggerating my concern. Hard to actually experience when I already knew what was up.

“It’s Michael. He’s been arrested. You need to come home to the house in Small Heath. We’re gonna have a family meeting.”

“Is Tom there yet?”

Polly sniffled again before replying, “No, not yet. You still have time before it begins, so come quickly. Love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone and looked back at my mates. They were all looking at me concernedly. I waved my finger around before finding the words. “I, uh… I need to go. Cassie, can you tell Simmons—!”

She nodded. “Of course.” Cass instantly grabbed the phone and began calling him. 

I glanced at my mates one more time before walking over to the closet. I put on this off-white frock with some black heels. I didn’t fix my hair up or put on any makeup. I just packed up my things, threw on my coat, and hurried out the door. I bade everyone farewell before leaving.

I ran out of the car and into the house. I threw my backpack on the couch before shouting, “Polly, I’m here!”

Faintly, I could hear Polly gasp and then we met each other halfway in the kitchen. She pulled me into a hug and squeezed the breath right out of me. 

“Thank god!” She said. “Thank god you’re okay.” Polly parted from our hug ‘n began stroking my hair and face. 

Footsteps coming from my right caught my attention, and I hugged Finn, John, and Esme as they came up to me. All us exchanging words about how we were all glad that one another was okay. John caught me up to date as Polly was fawning over me. 

She couldn’t stop stroking my hair and kissing my temple. I didn’t mind it, but everything she did was exemplified since I wasn’t used to this sort of treatment from her. Well, I was ‘n it always happened in some sad event in our lives, and that’s probably what’s upsetting me the most. 

I managed to get her to sit down, and smoked a ciggie with her. Tom sure took his time coming home. It took him, perhaps, twenty to thirty minutes later before he strided through the kitchen and into the shop. 

I stubbed my ciggie out, just as Tom said. “John?”

“Coppers have lifted 10 of our men in Camden town, the rest of them on the run.” He replied.

Finn added. “Tom, they've taken Michael.” 

Polly rose from her seat and walked closer to the family and I followed suit, taking the opposite door to lean on. 

Tom waved Finn off saying, “Business first.”

“They took Michael— ”

“I said business first.”

“They picked him up—!”

“Polly, business first!”

‘Great! Went from having an awesome time last night to an anxiety ridden morning. I love my life. Wow, way to make it about myself. I’m amazing!’

Tom gave Pol one last look before asking John to continue. Polly looked vulnerable. She looked, sorry to say, pitiful. She was desperate to help Michael, but— obviously, Tom had an agenda he was intending to follow.

John continued. “They took all our whisky. So no doubt they'll be supping that for Christmas. They've impounded all our vans, put their own locks on the warehouse. The Eden Club and all our pubs have been raided by the coppers and handed back to Sabini and Solomons. The Black Country boys think it was Arthur who killed Billy because that's what the coppers told them. So there'll be no more free passes for our whisky boats.”

“I don't give a fuck about whisky. I don't give a fuck about Billy Kitchen.” Polly said as she walked over to the table and began to lightly slam her hand down on it as she spoke, “I want my son out of prison now.”

Esme decided to speak up, at the wrong time. “Thomas, I spoke to Johnny Dogs.”

“This meeting should just be family.” Polly insisted.

‘Ah—! Ma’am, the fuck does that make me? Oh, wait, family! You, idiot, you.’

“I can help.”

“-It's family only, she's not blood.”

“Let her speak.” Tom interjected, but Polly kept on going.

“Tommy! Or is this a business… How you forgotten family—!”

“ENOUGH!”

My hand flew to my mouth and I swear to God, my heart sank to my arse. ‘Holy fuck is the wrong, but holy hell is it erotic!’

I was given the side eye by multiple people in the room, and I quickly numbed my feelings. Faster than I ever had to before. I stood up straight and cleared my throat.

Tom looked back at Polly as he said. “Enough, Polly. Esme.”

“I spoke to Johnny Dogs. The Lees are kin.”

“The bloody Lees!” Polly exclaimed

“They can give us men.”

“We don't need more fucking men! It's men that have done the damage! It's… It is men fighting like cockerels that have put us here in the first place.”

Tommy said. “Esme, I'll take up their offer. We need men.”

There was this pregnant silence that stilled between all of us, and it made me bounce on my heels. 

Polly pointedly stared at Tommy, inching closer to him as she said. “If Michael ever gets out of prison, I am taking him away from this family, for good.” She took a step back from Tom and waved her hands around her. “This life is bad.”

Polly walked over to Finn ‘n grabbed him by the arm. “This life is all bad.” She began dragging him away and made a beeline for me. Pol gripped my arm ‘n began pulling me away too.

“Ah!” I exclaimed as my feet skidded across the floor.

“Aunt Pol, what’re you doin’?” Finn cried out as we were both being tugged away.

“Shut up and walk.”

I managed to crane my head back for one last look at Tom before Pol had tugged Finn and I out of the house. Tommy didn’t meet my gaze. 

Polly ushered us in her car and drove us to the house in Sutton. She ordered us to stay in the house, but I knew where she was going. I saw her make a call, which went on for sometime, before she darted for the door. 

I think she was calling Ada.

I grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. “Polly, wait! Where are you going?”

She sighed before taking my face into her hands. “I’m going to go see if I can get my son out by myself. Thomas isn’t going to help, so I’m doing this on my own.” Polly stroked the side of my face as she looked into my eyes.

“Don’t go...” I whispered.

Pol sucked on her teeth before shaking her head. I gripped her wrists as they were still close to my face and said. “I can—! I can call someone. My mates can help. They’re Michael’s mates too, so I’m sure they won’t mind.”

She shook her head and gently tugged her hands away from my face. I let her wrists go without hesitation. With one hand on my shoulder, and the other waving around as she talked, she said. “No. No, I can’t have your friends knowing about this side of the family. They’re different from us ‘n they need to have the best image of you they can. I will deal with this on my own. I will deal with this on my own as I’ve always done.” 

Polly quickly kissed my forehead and left just as I was about to continue to beg her not to. I ran after her, but my reaction time was a little too late since she was already in the car. I shouted after her, but she took off.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t—! I couldn’t interfere when she didn’t want me to, so I just walked back into the house ‘n focused on taking care of Finn. We spent our time talking and playing card games. I finished making our lunch when Ada showed up. I knew she’d show up. ‘Cause of the episode, of course. 

She brought Karl, which made everything better ‘n brighter for a while.

I  spent time playing with the baby and catching up with Ada. Eventually, I left Ada alone with Finn since I’m sure she’d wanted to talk to him alone. I had the maid make dinner ‘n eventually sent Finn’s lanky butt up to a room. Had the maid prepare it for him beforehand.  Ada and I talked into the night till Karl grew tired. 

She took another room and retired for the night. On the other hand, I only went up stairs to change into something more comfortable, then I went back down to wait for Polly to come back home. I basically wore a nightgown and put my hair into a ponytail. 

I knew Polly was going to want to take a bath ‘n I wanted to be the one to help her. It was only right since she’d helped me when I needed it. 

I hated myself. I hated myself. I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve used better words to persuade her. I could’ve—!

Polly stumbled in at around eleven o’clock at night. I sprang up from the couch ‘n she didn’t even make a fuss about the fact I was up. Pol stumbled into my arms with the stench of alcohol on her breath. 

“Ali my love!” She slurred as she leaned all her body weight on me.

I muffled a groan as I held her up. 

Polly picked herself up a bit and slapped her hands on my face. I flinched at the force she put behind it. 

“Beautiful...” She whispered. “Absolutely beautiful...” Her thumbs roughly wiped the space under my eyes. Bringing them up and down and stretched back. 

“Polly,” I whispered. “What’s happened?”

Her head jerked back and she stumbled away from me. Averting my gaze, she replied. “Is done. Michael with—! Michael will be out within, at, in the morning.”

I smiled and clapped my hands in front of my mouth. “That’s great news, Polly!”

She smiled and nodded, drunkenly. Like she was nodding like a bobble head, someone who wasn’t in control of their motor functions. Polly’s gaze drifted to the side and she pointed to the tub. “Were you gonna take a bath?”

I shook my head. “Oh, no. I thought about it, but then I was waiting for you to come home. I had the fire lit. Why? Did you want to take a bath?”

Polly stumbled forward and gripped my arms, steadying herself before she nodded. “Yes. Yeah. Ali, darling, can you be so kind… And help me?”

I nodded, my eyebrows furrowing in concern. I ran to the kitchen and filled up the bucket for hot water. This house actually had a water heater ‘n that meant hot water from the tap. I had to make a few trips back ‘n forth but it was quicker than it would’ve been at the other house. 

“Alright, all done.” I turned back to Polly, who was sitting on the couch as she gazed into the fire. Her head shot up when I spoke. I turned around as a way to give her the privacy she needed to undress. 

I could sense her walking toward the tub and I turned my body more to the left while closing my eyes. Slowly, I got down to my knees ‘n sat on them. I wanted to give her the respect she deserved. The water sloshed as she dipped her body in the tub.

“Can you pass me the soap and sponge, love?” Polly asked me.

My eyes fluttered open instantly and I crawled to where I had placed the body soap and sponge earlier. I reached up for them and then crawled back over to her before giving them to her.

I sort of just sat there as she bathed herself. Her movements were sluggish and looked to be done with great difficulty. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to pry. I wanted her to open up to me and just cry about it. I didn’t want her to keep it in. However, I knew that was wrong, so I just picked at the carpet below me. 

Eventually, I couldn’t stand doing nothing and I asked her if I could shampoo her hair. She gave me a sloth-like smile and gave me permission. I reached up for the shampoo, took off my sheer robe, and shuffled on my knees around the tub. 

Polly leaned forward to give me some room. I scooped up some of the water from the tub using the pitcher and poured it along her hairline, slowly making my way to the back of her scalp. 

Shampooing someone else’s hair was always something comforting to me. I did Cassie’s hair all the time as she did mine. It was a type of intimacy that was more innocent than others types. 

I began humming something from Billie Holiday. I didn’t know the song by heart, but I knew some of the words ‘n rhythm enough. I was rinsing her hair when Polly’s shoulders began to shake. Muffled sobs escaped her nose as she shakily took deep breaths. 

I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to touch her and hug her, so I asked. I asked if it was alright if I hugged her. Like a child, she nodded through her sobs. 

I hugged Polly from behind. She was wet, I knew that. I was painfully aware of the new sensation of my dress sticking to my body and her cold hair against my cheek. Everything in my being was screaming and begging me to launch myself backward, away from her— but my heart was pleading for me to do the opposite. 

My heart wanted to absorb her pain, and it was my heart that won. I choked back my tears. I didn’t have the right to shed them. I could’ve saved her from this pain. I could’ve prevented this. But, ultimately when I blinked, they slipped down my cheeks. 

I didn’t pry, I stayed true to my word. We composed ourselves simultaneously and silently. 

“Love?” 

I wiped my nose on my arm before answering, “Yes?”

“Can you get me a cigarette? They’re in my purse.”

I nodded as I muttered. “Of course.” I rose to my feet and walked over to her purse, which was on the sofa. I put one in my mouth and lit it. With it still hanging off my lips, I took a quick puff as I grabbed the ashtray. I placed it on the stool that had the soaps on top, and then passed Polly her ciggie.

I walked back around to the chair that was behind her ‘n admired the fire crackling. Ada came in not too long after. I left… 

Truthfully, I didn’t know why I left. 

I trudged up the stairs all the way to my room. I closed the door behind me and slid down it.

I felt like a complete piece of shit and hollow and empty. My face scrunched up in a sob, but no tears came out. There was this increasingly more painful headache forcing me to acknowledge it, and with it came anger and annoyance. I wanted to punch the walls. I wanted to throw stuff around. I wanted to kill Campbell for what he’s done to this family.

I wanted his blood. I wanted to slit his throat. I wanted to bite a chunk of his neck out. I wanted…

I heaved a deep breath and found it still difficult to breathe. I crawled forward on all fours with one hand supporting my weight while the other clutched my throat. I took deep breaths till finally I couldn’t take it anymore. 

I had to release these emotions inside of me. The need to punish myself became overwhelming, and my eyes flickered to the suitcase that laid under my bed. 

I shook my head. ‘I couldn’t afford any marks’ I thought. 

With my other job, my body is a tool ‘n any harm to it hinders my ability to get it done. 

So, I yanked the straps of my gown down and let it fall under my waist. Ferociously, I began to claw away at my neck, arms, and stomach. The burn. The burn was what I needed. 

And when I stopped, the pain took over but as much as it meant everything— it was also nothing. 

Slowly, I brought the straps of my gown back up to my shoulders, rose to my feet, and sauntered over to my bed. I climbed in it and just laid there while staring at the lamp that was always on at my desk. I fell asleep, eventually…

The next morning, Polly came into my room ‘n asked if I wanted to come with her to go ‘n get Michael. I felt like she wanted me to go with her, so I said I’d go. While dressing up, I was glad to see that none of the scratches I’d made scarred up. 

I made sure to dress warmly since we would be going out so early in the morning and then we headed off to pick him up. We didn’t make any conversation during the drive or as we waited for him to come out. 

But nothing— and I mean nothing, could tear my eyes away from the scarf around her neck. 

I chose to lean against the wall as we waited while Polly was pacing back ‘n forth on the pavement. When Michael walked out, the first thing I noticed was the ugly bruise on his right cheek. Then, I noticed the little cuts all around his face. The need to comfort him was strong, but he walked straight toward his mother while smoking a ciggie.

“You need cream on them cuts or they'll go bad.” Polly said to ‘em.

Michael didn’t reply. He took a drag before saying, “The screws told me why I've been freed. They told me what you did.”

Polly looked away from Michael. Her gaze found mine, and she hurriedly looked away from me too. Polly stared straight on, instead. 

“They thought it was funny.” He continued. Michael took another puff before he said. “Maybe it is.”

The urge to degrade and make someone cry had never been activated so fast in me before now. I glared at Michael as he walked away. My blood boiled with each step he took.

With my foot, I launched myself away from the wall and walked to Polly’s side. I put a hand on her shoulder and whispered. “C’mon. Let’s go. He probably needs time is all.”

Polly said nothing, but allowed me to lead her over to the car.

Michael eventually had to come home, and he had the audacity to knock at my door. Of course, I let him in but only to give him a piece of my mind. 

“Do you even know what she did?” He shouted.

“She got you out, didn’t she? Why should you care how?” I shouted back.

“She fucked Campbell to get me out. She prostituted herself!”

I pretended to process it and be shocked before I continued. “And? So fucking what? Who are you to say that it was funny, huh? Fucking bastard! Fucking ungrateful prick!” 

I wanted to put my hands on him so badly, but I resorted to punching my palms repeatedly instead. As well as folding in on myself.

I whipped my hair back and ran a hand through my hair. 

“You’re tellin’ me you don’t see anything wrong with that? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Of course there’s something wrong with that! Campbell abused his position and abused his powers. He raped your mother!”

His face fell.

I scoffed. “Did you actually think I would side with you? Oh, fuck you, Michael. I would’ve done the same for me own son and so much more. She did that out of desperation ‘n fear ‘n pure maternal love! And—! And, you threw it back ‘n her face! I mean look at you, Michael. How much more of that could you have withstood?”

“All of it! I would have taken every beating… Every fucking—!” Michael choked up and rose his fists over his eyes. 

I averted my gaze. My tongue prodded the inside of my cheek as I violently shook my right leg. I tsked before rushing toward Michael and pulled him into a hug. Weakly, he hugged me back. 

Muffled, I said. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you for the things you said, but me and you are not alright right now. And I need you to respect the fact I need some time to process and get over what you said to her. It was very insensitive and I don’t play when it comes to situations like that. I don’t care about the excuse. You should have comforted her or each other when you were given the chance.” I parted from the hug and turned around. 

I didn’t turn back around till I heard my door shut from behind me.

About a week and a half has passed since Michael’s release and we’re still not on good terms. He hasn’t apologized to Polly for what he said, so obviously I wasn’t going to just sweep that shit under the rug. Little shit would have no idea how much restraint it took to not slap him across the face!

Of course I encourage him to “get it over with” and “clear the air.” But the stubborn twat was like his mum, and he refused to do so. It was like that conversation we had went in one ear and out the other. So, I’ve just steered clear of ‘em. Pissed me off just looking at him.

Anyway, John and I went to visit Arthur in jail. He was pretty rough, but when was Arthur not? We just visited him to see him. Tommy didn’t have a plan drawn up yet. Other than that, I’ve been busy with work. Legit and side hustle alike. 

Since the coppers fucked with the inventory, Tommy needed my help with the numbers and had me running around more often. At the same time, Dom gave me hit orders every other day. 

Some of the hit orders were during the day as well! I had to run off to get that job done, then hurry back to Small Heath. I’m just lucky nobody gets on my arse. Tommy could, no doubt there, but he was busy himself and I got the job done anyway. 

I knew he had some Peaky men or juniors watching me, for my “protection.” I knew they told him what I was doing, where I was going, but they never found out what I did. I had to let Dom know what was going on at home, and he helped me get away from them. 

Was it suspicious? Short answer, yes. 

Not like I could stop the side, though. The second season was coming to an end soon and what happens on Derby Day determines if I’m staying in this family or not. I, myself, don’t even know what to expect. 

I mean, it’s obvious he’s going to sleep with Grace and knock her up. What the fuck did I even want to happen? Did I want him to just confess to me and we get together instead? Well, of course, I want that to happen! But it’s not. And I can’t even see Tommy doing something as cringy as that. Yes, cringy.

The idea of him just springing on a confession on me still made me cringe up. My feelings have never been recuperated, so if they were to finally be mutual— there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have the romantic reaction I would be hoping for. Sad truth, but what could I do? Not like I had control over what my crushes felt. 

So, basically, if Grace is pregnant— I’ll quietly go away. I haven’t brought it up to Cassie yet, but I’m planning on slumming it with her. Just for a while, I know I have enough money to buy a house of my own. I would probably get Dom to do it for me, though, since I had no idea how to do it. 

If Tom tried to find me, then I’d just hide at Dom’s place. I’m sure he’d let me. On the topic of Tom, though— I missed him. Like talking to him, bugging him, and especially seeing his face. I was being deprived of my daily dose of serotonin. It was a crime!

Despite all that, today was a night of relaxation. I’d planned to go out with my mates, but since it’d be too dangerous to go South— they had to come to me. Ridiculous, I know but Tom insisted on the idea the last time I saw him. Even though I’d been going all around the fucking country for a week and a half.

We were in the snug at the Garrison. Smoking a few cigs while sipping on our bevvies. It was a girls’ night despite the fact that Finn was here. Let him have two pints, and that was it. He was still working on his first like a good lad. 

Angie spat. “I mean who the fuck does that bitch think she is? Just because her mum is a famous pianist doesn’t mean she is too! Dumb dora doesn’t know about key or pitch to save her life.”

I raised my eyebrows and slurped my bevvy. I smacked my mouth before asking. “Hey, Ange. How are you and Horace?”

Her movements faltered and a smile crept up on her face. I gasped and my hand shot over my mouth.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, are you two finally dating? Are youse dating?” My hand flew back to Cassie’s arm and I gripped it while shaking her. She was just as excited as I was.

Angie couldn’t meet my gaze to save her life. “I-! We… Yeah, we’re dating. I, I said yes.”

All of us girls squealed and congratulated her. Internally, I was congratulating my boy, Horace. My mans was pinning after Angie since childhood and he finally got the girl. 

Even material to make a story out of, oop! Mayhaps.

She told us how it happened. They had been in a fight since her father secretly set her up on a blind date and he’d caught them as she was out. Horace didn’t blow up on them at the spot, but Angie felt compelled to follow him out the restaurant they were dining in. On the street, he aggressively professed his love and told her he couldn’t bear to beat around the bush anymore. He gave her an ultimatum, and she was thrown off by how assertive he was being. It made her heart flutter, and she confessed she felt the same. 

Another round of squeals at the table, please! Poor Finn, he had to suffer through us. His own fault for volunteering to, like, chaperone me.

The topic changed to the ball Cassie had for her 21st birthday. This happened like a couple of Fridays ago since her birthday was on the tenth of February. It was really extravagant and the theme was like a royal ball. So, we got to dress up in these really amazing ball gowns. I wore this beautiful green ball gown that was most likely akin to 16th century fashion, as one man told me. 

I wouldn’t know the exact period my dress resembled since that wasn’t my area of expertise. Glad the man knew, though!

Cassie tapped me on my arm, her face contorted in confusion. “Ali… What did we do for your birthday?”

I blinked before smiling. “Oh, we didn’t do anything.”

Her face immediately contorted in horror and she looked at Angie and Tina, which of course made me do the same. They had the same expression on their faces.

Tina raised a finger and began wagging it as she said. “Wait a minute… Did we even do something for your birthday last year?”

“Uh...no.” My eyes kept flickering between the three of them and I watched as the horror deepened in their faces.

They began showering me in apologies, and while it did comfort me— it annoyed me at the same time. ‘Like it was too late for apologies since the days already passed. So, like why sweat it now?’

The girls surrounded Ali and showered her in apologies. Finn watched from the sidelines. He saw the flicker of discomfort on Ali’s face before she began to smile. 

He knew that his family had forgotten about her past two birthdays as well, and he wanted to get something for her. But the last time he did that— he got in trouble for it. So, the best he did was wish her happy birthday. 

“Okay! Okay! We obviously just have to throw the biggest party ever to make up for them both.” Cassie said, her lips pursing as she talked. Tina and Angie nodded, but Ali sighed. 

She shook her head while clutching her forehead. “No. No, it’s alright really. My birthday passed. I don’t need anything.”

The girls dismissed her wishes, which annoyed the crap out of Ali and Finn. 

Ali rubbed her eyes roughly before waving her hands up. “Okay, okay, fine! We can have a little something. It has to be little. I’m not allowed South, so—!”

Cassie cut her off. “That’s completely alright. We can do it here like last time. You know?” She looked around the room. Tina and Angie nodded in agreement. 

Ali thought about it and just succumbed to her mates’ wishes. Ali took a breath and thought about it in a different perspective. Instead of holding onto the fact her birthdays were overlooked, she was just appreciative that they, at least, wanted to celebrate it now.

They girls talked it out and they decided they would reconvene next Friday at the Garrison. Finn was welcomed to join, and the lad was not going to miss it for anything in the world because of what they were planning.

These girls were planning to get “fucked up.” More specifically, Aliena “fucked up.” He had some idea of what that meant, and he knew he wasn’t going to like it. 

Eventually, Finn ended up asking Aliena what that meant, and she told him that her mates basically wanted to get her really drunk. He knew he wouldn’t like it. 

That week Finn, Aliena, and the girls were all just really preparing for the “doomsday.” Aliena was pumped up to have fun with her girls in her honor, and couldn’t decide what she to wear. The girls were trying to find gifts for her birthdays, you know, since they missed two of ‘em. 

While Finn, he was going through it. He was debating so hard whether or not to tell Tom. He didn’t know if he should. He usually would have, but with things being so tense lately— he really didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news or add fuel to the fire. So, he decided against it and was just glad to be invited. He also looked for a gift.

The day of the party both Finn and Aliena visited Tommy’s office. Aliena went to give him his dinner at around 5:30. She had yet to get dressed for the night, but her hair was beautifully done in waves from the braids she made the night before. She had half of it up since if it was all down— her hair would be too poofy.

Aliena knocked on Tom’s door before entering. Tom was finishing up some last minute paperwork. He didn’t tell Aliena, but he was going to Ada’s house to meet up with Grace. She’d called some weeks ago, and Tom was finally available enough to meet her. 

She rested the basket on his desk and moved a piece of her hair away from her face. “Here you go, Tommy. Have a nice night.” 

Tom picked up his head and his eyebrows wanted to furrow as he took in her appearance. Her hair was done nicely and she was wearing a nice outfit. 

Ali had on a white tank top with a sheer white long-sleeved blouse over it and wore a ribbed off-white skirt that hugged her curves. She didn’t think anything of it, but Tom sure did. 

He wondered if she got dressed up for another boy of hers, but then he realized he had no business admiring her or getting jealous. After all, he’d be meeting up with Grace in almost a half hour. 

Tom looked into Aliena’s eyes ‘n noticed she was wearing a bit of makeup and holding a vanilla folder in her hand as well. “Night, Ali.” He replied.

Ali smiled at him, gave him a nod, and knocked on his desk before spinning around on her heels. Ali was almost out the door when her hand knocked into one of the chairs and the contents of the vanilla folder went flying. Ali cursed under her breath and bent down to collect the papers from the ground.

Tom’s eyes never left her arse. Tom recognized that Aliena was blessed with well-endowed features— ample breasts and a large behind as well as thighs. He admired the way her breasts hung from her body as she had to reposition herself to get a paper that had flown under the chair. He admired the arch of her back. 

Tom realized he was acting like a pervert and resituatied himself. He silently cleared his throat and sat up straight while tugging on his pants. Aliena tapped the folder on the ground to straighten its contents before rising from her knees. 

She smiled at him, sheepishly, as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry ‘bout that, Tommy. Good night.”

Tom repeated the phrase under his breath and Aliena made it out the door without a mishap. 

Finn came in not five minutes later, passing Aliena on the way to the office. He walked straight into Tom’s office. 

Tom’s head shot up and he didn’t hesitate to begin speaking, “Finn, I want you to look after Aliena tonight. I’m going over to Ada’s and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Tom had risen from his seat as he spoke. Putting on his coat and cap. 

Tom walked over to Finn and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, got it.”

Tom nodded and began walking ahead of his little brother, but then turned around all of a sudden. Tom pointed toward his desk ‘n said. “Oh and eat that for me, yeah? Aliena made it so… It should be good.”

Finn chuckled and took his brother up on the offer. He’d been starving.

Aliena rushed home and practically inhaled her meal. She didn’t want to eat, but since was planning to drink till her liver bursted— she didn’t want to knock out on the third drink. After eating, she hauled the tub to her room and took a bath.

Aliena decided tonight was the night. 

She wasn’t going to wait for Tommy anymore. 

She’s been building up to it and she didn’t care anymore. Virginity was just some societal construct anyhow. Plus, she wouldn’t tell anyone but she owned a dildo in her other universe ‘n yeah… 

Aliena just assumed this body, that was very fucking different, had it’s hymen, so…

She freshened up and shaved her vagina. Not for the poor guy she was going to use, but for herself. Aliena was big on, “you like me for me or you can fuck off.”

Don’t worry Ali had her hair all tied up away from the water and when she was done— all she had to do was dry her body off.

Ali kept her towel on as she did her makeup. She kept it light and noir like she did for the Garrison’s reopening. After makeup, she slid on her dress. The best Ali could describe it was a loose body con dress that had ruffles that reminded her of a curtain. It was sky blue ‘n fit with the times. 

Ali took down her hair once she was done putting on her dress. She tried her best to keep her waves, but they had ultimately lost most of their volume throughout the day. Aliena tried to not let it bother her. She put on her heels, grabbed a matching clutch, and her white fur coat. 

Aliena walked over to Finn’s room ‘n knocked on his door, asking if he was ready. He didn’t answer from his room, but from downstairs. Aliena hurried down the flight of stairs, joined their arms once she was down, and then they were on their way to the Garrison. 

Isaiah met them on the way, which was a pleasant surprise. Finn had invited him along ‘n of course Aliena wouldn’t mind. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and she figured it was due to the business. 

Aliena was escorted with two men around her arms to the Garrison and she chatted with them the whole way. She was all smiles and it warmed both the men’s hearts. More so Finn than Isaiah. 

When they got to the pub, they instantly walked to the snug. They quickly seated themselves down ‘n got comfy. Isaiah ordered their bevvies from the window and they were served not too long after. 

The gang couldn’t have gotten there not twenty minutes later. Their hands were occupied with gifts ‘n the boys were carrying the cake. Aliena couldn’t feel more loved ‘n appreciated. She greeted her mates with kisses and hugs ‘n thanked them for the party. 

Aliena ended up thanking Douglas and Horace for showing up and for their gifts separately since she wasn’t expecting them. First manner of business was the birthday cake. Horace revealed this magnificent simple cake that had twenty candles around it.  

Ali couldn’t stop covering her face as she smiled. She tried reeling in her emotions, but she never could act “right” when people sang her happy birthday. For her birthday wish, she wished that she’d continue on working on her happiness. 

Before having a piece of cake, Aliena opened her presents. Cassie gave her another set of expensive jewelry that was to die for! Ali loved it! Douglas gave Aliena a new pair of shoes, a clutch, and a purse. While it wasn’t to die for, Aliena appreciated it since after all he didn’t even ask her what she wanted. It was ballsy to get a gift for Ali without talking to her first since her face usually gave her true thoughts away.

She’s worked on that since she was young, but sometimes it will show. Hasn’t happened yet, but doesn’t mean it won’t.

Angie gave Aliena more designer clothing while Horace bought her a typewriter. She absolutely gushed over their gifts, especially the typewriter. Tina��s present was Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Little Women, Romeo and Juliet, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. Aliena loved the fact that Tina gave her books. Truth be told, she hasn’t really read a book unless they were someone else’s. 

Isaiah didn’t have a gift, so we can skip over him. Finn, on the hand, did. Ali was a little apprehensive about it since last time he got her a gift, he would’ve caught a charge if he was anyone else. It was a big box, too. Aliena shook the lid off the box to find a box of items packed inside. There were about five different shades of lipstick, two bottles of perfume, and a whole lot of makeup. 

Ali couldn’t help but be in awe at the gift. She hugged Finn and thanked him for something so wonderful ‘n thoughtful. Finn was able to let go of the breath he was holding and felt extremely happy that she loved her gift. Swear, the boy had a smile for a majority of the night.

The minute Aliena was done opening her gifts, the real party began. Finn watched as Aliena and her mates took shot after shot after shot. He participated a bit himself, but out of conditioning from Aliena— he took his time. Isaiah was faring no better. He’d received the same order as Finn. His sole duty tonight was to protect Aliena ‘n the way she was drinking— he had a bad feeling something was gonna happen.

Eventually they made their way out of the snug ‘n began dancing more freely. Isaiah expertly manipulated Ali into only dancing with their mates. The minute she tried catching the eye of literally anyone else, he’d step in. 

Out in the city, he had no problem with who she danced with or who she made out with. In Small Heath, his and every other person’s eyes were at stake. But more importantly, his eyes were at stake!

Truthfully, Aliena wasn’t actually drunk— she was buzzed! But, she wasn’t drunk. She was mimicking Cassie’s behavior, who was on a completely different level drunkenness than her. She did it in a sense of solidarity and recklessness. She felt that since they were celebrating her birthday, since it was her night— she should be able to act freely. Especially when she was trapped in Birmingham per Tommy’s orders. 

Aliena was getting bored with just dancing and began to sing. She sang ‘Ain't No Other Man’ by Christina Aguliera. At first, it was just the mates who were aware that she was singing, but then other patrons heard her voice. Aliena was lifted in the air by a particularly strong ‘n tall patron and he set her down on the bar top. 

Aliena “under the influence” began to sing as clearly as she could and belt as loud as she could, as much in tune as she could manage. 

Not like they would know if she butchered the song or not.

Finn, who watched all of this go down, had enough. In his opinion, Aliena had gotten out of control ‘n it was out of his hands. So, he decided to get the big guns involved.

His senses were filled with her. Her perfume, the texture of her dress, the taste of her lips and the feeling of pressing them against his own. 

So, what had changed for him?

Tom wondered why her kiss didn’t set him aflame like it did months ago. 

“Tommy. Tommy, do you have someone?” She asked him. 

Tom kissed Grace again. 

“It's too late, Tommy.”

“It's 11:00, Grace.”

“I mean, it's too late. If you'd come with me to New York...”

“I had things to do.” He kissed her again, searching for that feeling. That feeling of completion and—! And wholeness.

“You mean the coin landed the wrong way?”

“It couldn’t have worked. That was the question.” Their lips met once more ‘n fiercer this time ‘round.

Grace parted from the kiss and breathily asked. “Tommy… Tommy, do you have someone?”

‘Yes?’ He thought as the memory of Aliena looking back at him at the park flashed in his mind. Tom took a deep breath. “I have a racehorse. She’s gonna win the Derby.” He said. Tom joined their lips again and this time— they didn’t part after a few seconds.

Tom was desperately seeking that feeling of passion, but he figured he was gettin’ into his own head by rushing it. So, he took it slow. Grace slipped down the sleeves of her dress, and it hardly did anything for him.

It aroused him, of course, but—! It wasn’t the same. It was akin to the times he’s laid with a prostitute. 

‘You’re getting in your head, Tom. The feeling will come back. Take your time.’ He told himself. He led her backward toward the couch, his lips never parting from hers. 

The more time he spent kissing her, the more that pit in his stomach grew. 

That feeling wasn’t coming back. 

Tom trailed down to her neck, and he paid attention to Grace there before going back to her lips.

‘Nothing. Nothing. Nothing! Give it some fuckin’ time, man!’

Then by the grace of God, the phone started going off. Tom parted from the kiss ‘n Grace’s hands flew to his face.

“Let it ring.” She rasped while trying to pull his face back to hers.

Tom never averted his gaze from the phone ‘n it didn’t stop ringing either. Annoyed, he got up from the couch and walked over to the telephone.

Tom had barely gotten the address out when Finn’s voice cut through the phone. “Tom, Tommy, are you there?”

“Finn, what’s happened? What’s wrong?” Panic overwhelmed his being and Tom began buttoning up his shirt.

The pub could be heard through the phone and Tom swore he could hear Aliena, but he thought he was just imagining it. 

Finn cleared his throat. “Uh, Tom, it’s Ali. She’s kinda going outta control right now.”

“You are there when I'm a mess

Talk me down from every ledge

Give me strength, boy, you're the best!

You're the only one who's ever passed every test!” 

Aliena’s belting could be heard from over the phone ‘n Tom sighed, exhaustedly. 

Finn continued. “She’s dancing and singing on top of the bar at the Garrison. I just—! I don’t know. I thought you should know. I don’t know what to do! Do I just let ‘er or—?”

Tom exhaled deeply as he rubbed his forehead. “Finn, all right, calm down. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Get her off the fucking bar top ‘n make sure she doesn’t do anything else.” He hung up the phone, turned around, and faced Grace.

She looked confused with her eyebrows drawn together and Tom was half surprised to see that her dress was still down. 

“Tommy,” She began. “What’s happened?”

Tom blinked before replying, “I, uh, I have to head back to Birmingham.”

“What?” She asked softly as she rose to her feet and slipped her sleeves back over her shoulders. 

Tom began putting his coat on as he said. “I can drive you, if you’d like, or you can call a Taxi.”

Grace scoffed while shaking her head. “You're serious, Tom?”

Tom looked at her like she stated the obvious and gave her a curt nod. “Yeah.”

Grace’s jaw dropped a little as did her head. She picked up her head, steeled her gaze, and stood up straighter. “I can find my own way back.”

He nodded again before motioning her to follow him out the door. 

The night didn’t go as he’d planned. But he had more important things to worry about. 

‘Fucking Aliena!’

Aliena was just glad she was able to finish her song before Finn and Isaiah pried her off the bar top. She had her little moment ‘n that’s all that mattered to her. ‘Cause she managed to get the attention of most of the lads in the pub.

Some were just staring at her from afar while others actually walked up to her. But they only managed to get a few words in before they were run off by Isaiah. At first it was cute. Yes, Aliena thought it was cute that Isaiah was scaring off the blokes that approached her— but then it got annoying. 

Why? Because he was ruining her fucking plan to lose her viriginity tonight!

“I’ma tell ya right now, mate. You either piss off or you’re losing your eyes, which one are you gonna pick?” Isaiah threatened the man in front of him.

The man scoffed and was about to say something when Isaiah reached up for his peaky cap.

“One...” Isaiah said ‘n that was all it took for the bloke to run off. 

  Aliena scoffed as she tried to look over Isaiah’s shoulder only to catch a glimpse of the guy running off. Aliena groaned and roughly shoved Isaiah in the chest. “The fuck are you doing, Saiah!” She shouted.

Isaiah raised his hands in surrender. “Look I’m sorry, Ali. All right, I’m sorry.”                              

Aliena’s face contorted in confusion and her head shook. “No, what the fuck is going on! You’ve never done this before, so what the ‘ell is up?”

Isaiah sighed and looked all around the room. He debated tellin’ her the truth or not, and he decided it would be easier if she just knew what was up. “Look, Ali… I can’t let any bloke in here have a go at you, all right?”

Her face didn’t change. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? The fuck you mean ‘you can’t let me’? Who’s...” Her voice trailed off as did her gaze.

‘No way!’ She thought. ‘There’s just no fucking way!’

Aliena huffed. “Di-Did Tommy—! Does Thomas have something to do with this?”

Isaiah nodded. He hesitantly said. “Tom… He ‘n the family ordered a long time ago that no one in Birmingham is allowed to have a go at ya. They’re not even allowed to accept a confession from you. And any Peaky Blinder who tries to disobey or not try ‘n help ya if you’re in danger, or knew about it ‘n let it happen— gets their eyes and tongues cut.”

Aliena was taken back by the rule. Some part of her was in awe that Tommy cared that much for her while the other was annoyed that he was. 

Why the fuck did he have to go ‘n do that? Why the fuck was he preventing her from going out with guys when he had no intention of going out with her himself? It was fucking ridiculous!

Her nose wrinkled in her anger before she closed her eyes and tipped her head back. Aliena took a deep breath before clapping her hands in front of her. “Okay, Saiah! You have two options. One, you either keep on carrying out this ridiculous order Tom have you ‘n you’ll have to face my wrath. Or two, you call it a night and get out of my fucking way. So, what is it gonna be one or two?”

Isaiah didn’t hesitate. “Two.”

Ali raised her hand for a high-five, which Saiah reciprocated. “Good man.” Aliena said before walking off, on the prowl. 

It took sometime before the men in the pub realized Isaiah was no longer lurking around Aliena and began approaching her again. Aliena was picky when choosing the man she wanted to lose her virginity to. After all, what’s the point of doing it if she wasn’t going to enjoy it? She wanted a man she could look at and be aroused from. 

She was lucky enough to find one sitting at the bar when she walked over to get another drink. His name was Robert, last name unknown since she didn’t care for it. They made small talk, but Aliena wasn’t looking to get to know him. She just wanted to make sure she could get wet. 

And she found that she could, as she began imagining all the positions he could put her in. 

Tommy kept intruding on her imagination— hijacking her scenarios, but she’d just close her eyes ‘n take a moment. The next time she opened her eyes, he was gone.

Aliena brought her bevvy up to her mouth and took a sip before shoving Robert’s shoulder for something  he said. 

Unbeknownst to her, Tom had walked into the pub deadset on finding her. And that didn’t take very long. Tom witnessed Aliena’s little interaction firsthand. She was sitting on top of the bar top while flirting with some random fucking bloke. He didn’t know what infuriated him more.  

The fact that someone dared to go against his orders, or that she was flirting with someone in front of his face. 

Tom’s jaw dropped a little and his tongue prodded the inside of his cheek. He closed his mouth and nodded before he made a beeline for Aliena. As he grew closer, she’d finally noticed him. A smile on her face was quickly wiped off as Tom walked right up to her, tugged her off the top ‘n threw her over his shoulder.

Ali gasped and exclaimed. “What—!”

Tom hiked her further up his shoulder before spinning around and making his way toward the door. “Shut up, Ali.”

“--the fuck are you doing!”

Tom had no intention of letting her down. He feared she’d just talk her way out of it, or try to fucking run away. Tom was gonna give her the lecture of a lifetime whether she liked it or not. He wasn’t going to let her get the chance to go back to her mates and cause more embarrassment for herself. 

Aliena was shouting at Tom to let her down. She was pounding on his shoulder as an extra measure, but it wasn’t like she was doin’ it hard either. The pounding resembled more like knocking or somethin’.

Eventually, Aliena huffed and just let herself be carried to wherever he was taking her. From the streets he was walking, Ali soon realized they were going to his flat. She tsked and tried to support her head up. 

When they reached his front door, Tom hiked her up on his shoulder again before reaching for his keys. 

Aliena rolled her eyes as she muttered. “I can walk on my own two feet, you know.”

Tom ignored her as he struggled to get his door unlocked and open. It was difficult with a body over his shoulders, but he did it. The minute he walked through the door— he let Ali down. 

As she regained her footing, Tom locked the door behind him. Ali stabilized herself rather quickly and threw her head back with an overexaggerated groan as she stomped away from Tom ‘n toward the stairs.

Tom turned back ‘round and shouted. “Oi! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Ali rolled her eyes and faced him. A hip dropped as she said. “To bed.”

He shook his head. “No.” Tom walked right up to her face and repeated. “No. We’re going to talk about the little show you put on at the pub. Huh?”

Ali averted her gaze from him and began shaking her leg.

Tom grabbed her chin and made her face him. “Huh? What the fuck was that t’night?”

Aliena couldn’t tell ya a blag. What he did went straight to her cunt and the fact she was looking to fuck tonight— did not help her case at all.

Tom released her chin and waited for Aliena to answer.

She sighed and waved her left arm out before letting it drop to her side. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, Tom.”

He scoffed.

“I DON’T... know what you’re talking about ‘cause all I was doing was having some fun with my mates. That’s all.” 

Tom shook his head. “No, that’s not all. You got on that bar top and sang and danced. You got drunk ‘n started making a fool of yourself.”

Aliena tsked, rolling her eyes, and throwing her head back. “I wasn’t fucking drunk.”

“Yeah fucking right!”

Aliena looked at him in disbelief. “You know what! You weren’t even fucking there, so I don’t even know how the fuck you knew about what I was doing, by the way! Don’t tell me you had another Peaky Blinder looking after me. ‘Cause that’d mean you sicked three people on me tonight, and I’d want to know the fucking reason for that too. ”

“Finn phoned me, worried about ya. And I did not sick three people on you tonight. I only told Finn to look after you.”

Aliena sighed deeply at the news, her eyes rolling again. A hand came up to her forehead and she rubbed it. “Finn...” She whispered. “Of fucking course, that goddamn kid.” Aliena didn’t even look at Tom again. Instead, she waved him off as she turned around while walking toward the staircase. 

“And where do you think you’re going, Ali? We’re not done here!” He shouted as he watched her climb the stairs. His gaze naturally falling on her arse. 

She craned her head back a little as she replied. “Yes, we fucking are. Both of our emotions are high right now. There’ll be no moving forward in this conversation. So good night, Tom.” 

Tom shook his head, his pointer finger running over his bottom lip. Angrily, he ripped off his coat, and threw both it and his cap on his sofa. He marched up the stairs as he shouted for Aliena.

Dumbly, Ali was deciding which room she wanted to bunk in for the night, and it allowed Tom just enough time to catch up with her. He grabbed her by the crook of her arm and pulled her into his room. He threw her into it, to which she cried out. 

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” She yelled. 

None of this was helping, by the way. This roughness he was handling her with. Yeah, she liked this! So, he wasn’t winning in the slightest.

His eyes were blown wide, and his hands were on his hips. With the wave of his finger, he asked. “Yeah ‘n who the fuck was that who you were talkin’ too? Eh!”

Aliena squeezed her hands into fists before letting them relax as she stifled her groan. “God, Tommy! Why the fuck does it matter?”

“Who was he, Aliena! I want a fucking name!”

“I DON’T KNOW! Okay? He’s name was Robert and that’s all I know.” She yelled louder than Tom, which was making his blood boil more. Aliena clapped her hands and with finger guns, she began. “You know fucking what? Answer my fucking question, Tom. Why the fuck do you care? Huh?”

Aliena inched closer to him, and making Tom stand up straighter, slightly.

“Why the fuck did you have your men scare away other men away from me? Explain it to me.”

Tom chuckled, humorlessly. “For your own protection, sweetheart.”

She shook her head. “No. I would’ve believed you if you only ordered them to maim anyone who tried assaulting me. That would make it believable. But to put a city wide order that I was not to be fucking approached in the slightest! That even if I went up to them, they better run the other fucking direction unless they wanted to lose their eyes! No… Fucking no. So, tell me, Thomas. What the fuck is up?” 

Aliena was standing directly under Tom. She could hear his heavy breathing with clarity. He didn’t respond. She scoffed and walked away from him further into the room. 

By the grace of “intoxication,” Aliena felt like she was finally bold enough. She was going to blame it on the alcohol. If what she was about to do, backfired on her— she’d deny, deny, deny.

Tom watched as Ali walked away from him before facing him. The air about her was different. She didn’t look angry and annoyed anymore; she looked like she was on a mission. It was attractive. Seductive. Arousing.

Aliena’s fingertips trailed up her arm, an eyebrow raised as she said. “You wanna know why I was even talking to Robert, Thomas.” Her fingertips grazed up her left shoulder and across her collarbone. “It’s because I intended on fucking him.” Her voice trailed off at the end.

Tom’s head snapped up and he looked at her straight in the eyes, flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. 

‘She—! She was gonna what?’

Aliena giggled, humorlessly, as she took in Tommy’s expression. Her fingertips stopped her dance as she did so. Ali composed herself rather quickly ‘n she continued. “I was going to fuck him...” She shrugged her shoulders and pursed her lips as she said. “To finally get over you.”

Aliena cocked her head to the side and waited for his reaction. Tom shuffled his stance and tucked his hands into his pockets. He could feel his eyes glaze over and lust creep on him as Aliena teasingly had a single fingernail under the strap of her dress.

Aliena looked away before looking back at him. “So, there it is, Tommy. I said it. Now, you have two options. You either walk out that door, or...” Aliena attempted to look sexual as she slipped both of the straps of her dress down her shoulders ‘n let it fall to the ground. 

Tom gulped at the sight of her. Her bare breasts. The sight of her in nothing but her panties.

“You fuck me.” She finished, fixing her posture. 

Truthfully, she was trembling in anxiety. She hoped to God she wasn’t making a fool of herself.

Tom had to internally fight his demons and he needed to do it quickly, out of respect for her. It was a whole lot of, “should he” or “should he not.” But then, Aliena just had to trail her fingertip down her neck again with this far-off gaze and he knew his choice.

Tom rushed toward Aliena and captured her lips, hungrily. Aliena couldn’t help but gasp happily. Her mouth opening wide. Tom didn’t waste the opportunity to shove his tongue inside. He made her walk backward toward the wall. The pace caused Ali to be shoved into the wall. The pain that erupted in her back made her moan into his mouth. 

Tom’s hands trailed up from her waist all the way to her breasts and he squeezed them eagerly. Almost wantonly, Ali gasped with a smile again as she arched her back into Tom’s hands.

This… This is what Tom was talking about. This passion, this feeling of completion! This was it!

Tom parted from her lips which made her pant for air. He pressed kisses on the side of her mouth, her cheek, before peppering her neck with them. Aliena’s fingers found Tommy’s hair and she found herself pressing him closer against her neck. 

‘So, she feels it here...’ He thought.

Tom increased his antics. Nipping, sucking, and kissing her neck all over. While Aliena wasn’t moaning, she was panting ‘n gasping as if she couldn’t breath. Hitching as if she were in pain. 

Tom left her neck and lowered himself down to her breasts. He rolled her left nipple in his mouth while still kneading her right breast. When he decided to tug on her nipple with his teeth, he tugged on her right nipple with his fingers. Aliena gasped and yanked Tom’s hair as she arched her back into him further.

“Tommy...” She rasped. “I—! Please.” 

Mentally, it hurt her to plead like this. It sent her cheeks aflame, and she would’ve hid her face in embarrassment if she wasn’t feeling so much pleasure from running her fingers through his hair.

As Tom moved to her right tit, he shushed her and whispered against her skin. “Patience, love.”

Aliena’s breath hitched once more as Tom nibbled on her nipple, her thighs rubbed together. It did nothing, but allow her to get some pent up energy out of her. 

Tom let go of her right nipple with one last tug before he rose up a little to begin marking up the space above her breasts. Aliena giggled at him.

“So, are you a tits man, then, Tommy?” She asked breathily, a giggle at the end of her sentence.

Tom stopped sucking on a particular spot on her chest as he began to smile. He picked his head up and pecked her lips repeatedly. “Yours. I’ve. Been. Wanting to. Do this. To yours.”

Aliena’s hands had slid down to his face and she stroked his cheek lovingly. She parted from their pecks and whispered. “Who am I to deny you, then?”

Tom stared into her eyes before hooking his hands in the crooks of her knees and carrying her. Ali yelped and wrapped her arms around his neck before going into a giggling fit. Tom walked over to his bed and plopped her down on it. 

Aliena bounced as a result. Tom hurriedly back to yank his clothes off and cursed himself for wearing so many accessories. While Tom was working on taking off his shirt sleeve garters, Ali had scooted herself down the bed and worked on getting his belt off.

The whole situation was laughable, so Tom began to laugh— which made Aliena laugh. Once Tom got the bloody things off, Aliena had already thrown aside his belt and unzipped his pants. Tom bent down and tried to kiss Aliena. 

She realized what he was trying to do ‘n met him halfway by standing on her knees. Grateful that she allowed him to bend less, he continued working on unfastening the buttons on his vest ‘n shirt while slipping off his shoes. He took off his shoes, stepped out of his pants, and kicked them both away while throwing his vest and button up off his shoulders. 

The pair broke their kiss to let Tommy yank off his under shirt. Tom found her lips once more as he slowly climbed on top of her and hovered above her on his bed. After a minute or two more of kissing, he parted and asked against her lips. “Are you sure you want this, Aliena? We can stop right now.”

Ali stared into Tommy’s eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She nodded her head. “I want you, Tommy. It’s always been you.”

They stared into each other’s eyes a bit longer before Tom’s head ducked down and began trailing deep kisses all the way down to her groin where the hem of her panties lied. He placed kisses along the hem as he hooked his fingers into the side of the band, and slowly slid them down. 

Aliena’s eyes were closed shut and she was fisting the blankets of his bed. She flinched at every kiss he placed closer and closer to her cunt. 

Tom licked a long stripe upward toward Ali’s clit as he slid her panties down her legs entirely. Ali whimpered as her hips bucked. Tom couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his mouth. Aliena was biting her bottom lip so harshly that she was afraid it would split. 

Tom spread her pussy and started off slow before working his way toward violently flicking her clit with his tongue and sucking on it. Aliena still didn’t allow her moans to escape her, instead, only letting out whimpers, gasps, and pants. 

Aliena’s thighs clamped around Tom’s ears, but that didn’t stop him. Hell, it couldn’t even stop him from hearing her little mewls. 

Ali felt that familiar build up growing in the pit of her stomach, and her hand flew to Tom’s hair. “Tommy, I’m close!” She said. “Stop, please. I don’t wanna... without ya...”

Tom didn’t stop, in fact, he worked her faster. “Go on.” He rasped. “Come.”

Aliena’s hands flew to her face as her face contorted in pure pleasure. Tom didn’t like that. She was blocking the view. Ali threw her head back and finally let out an audible moan. Her hips wildly bucked against Tom’s mouth and chin, and he let her ride out her climax. 

He let go of her with a pop and a hiss. Tom took a deep breath, trying to catch it before sliding a finger along her opening. Aliena’s hands had fallen to the sides of her head. An uncontrollable smile on her face. She outstretched her arms and whispered, lovingly. “Tommy...”

Tom felt his heart swell and without stopping his teasing— he leaned toward her and kissed her as she wanted.

Aliena didn’t mind the taste of herself on his lips, she was used to it. Having been a chronic masturbator. Ali tugged on Tom’s bottom lip and when she finally let go, she coquettishly whispered. “Fuck me, Tommy, please. I’m ready.”

Tom’s eyes looked over her face and he chuckled. He pecked her lips before replying, “No, it’s your first time, Ali. I won’t be rough with you. This time.”

Ali’s mouth stretched upward into a smile and she bit her lip. “Promise?”

As Tom finally slipped a finger inside her— making her gasp, he rubbed his nose against hers, replying, “I promise.”

Tom slowly pumped his finger in and out of Ali, and truthfully, the girl felt nothing. She’s teased her hole with her fingers loads of times. So, it was just a foreign feeling. But for the sake of seemingly “innocent,” she began panting a little.

Tom added a second finger and then a third— and that’s when she felt something. Her pants turned real and she wondered if he had to add the third finger so that she could accommodate to his size. She still hadn’t seen him. 

Meanwhile, Tom was handling his delayed satisfaction just fine. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, so he was lucky enough to just be able to focus on making this the best experience for Aliena as possible. When he felt that her pussy was sucking his fingers in, instead of trying to push them out— he removed them. 

Aliena moaned and looked up at Tom. Tom misinterpreted her gaze as her being scared and was quick to reassure her that everything would be alright. In reality, Aliena was just startled that her pleasure had been taken away from her.

She never thought she’d get off on fingers. She thought it was impossible for her. 

‘You really do need someone else’s fingers.’ She thought.

Tom pulled down his boxers and kicked them away. He was about to gather her wetness when Ali took his hand and pulled it toward her mouth. She gathered the saliva in her mouth and let it fall down onto his hand. His cock throbbed in his hand at the action. 

He couldn’t believe that she’d be this tempting. 

Tom lathered his cock in Ali’s spit and pumped his cock a few times, hissing at the pleasure he gave himself before lining up to Aliena’s entrance. Tommy hovered above her and took his free hand, and interlocked it with hers. 

“You ready?” He asked once more.

Aliena nodded. “Yes, yes, please...”

Tom kissed Ali as he slowly entered her. Ailena moaned from the sensation. Tommy began littering the side of her mouth and cheek with kisses. They both groaned when he was fully sheathed inside her. Her walls fluttered around his cock, squeezing him tightly. 

Made him grunt from the sensation. 

Aliena wasn’t in pain, but it has certainly been awhile since a cock has been inside her. Not to mention, she was still pretty sure this body was a virgin. There was no pain, but there was a lot of pressure. She couldn’t tell if he was big or not.

Aliena just felt very “full” and “satisfied.”

“Move, Tommy.” She rasped.

Tom breathily chuckled. “I can’t. You haven’t gotten used to it, yet.”

Aliena gripped his chin and made him face her. “Tommy, move slowly. I want to feel you.”

How the fuck could he deny that?

Slowly, Tom began moving his hips. He’d pull out just enough so his tip won’t fall out and then slide all the way back in. Ali whimpered at the feeling, but after enough times— she found herself wanted more. So, she vocalized it.

“Faster, Tommy.” 

Tom complied to her wishes and began thrusting faster. He found himself admiring this whole situation. Intoxicated on the feeling he’d been missing from… Yeah.  It was Ali. He’d fallen in love with Ali. 

Tom was taking in every reaction she had. With her legs wrapped around his waist, her breasts bouncing softly with each thrust, and her face contorted in pleasure. She couldn’t hide since their fingers were interlocked. 

Tom’s breath began to waiver as pants and grunts escaped his lips. He picked up the pace to which Ali couldn’t hold back her moans anymore. This only encouraged Tom to go even faster. 

“Fuck, Tommy! Yes!”

Ali was unsure of what she was feeling. She couldn’t tell if she was climbing toward her big O, or if she was getting off on pleasing him. She actually never orgasmed when using her dildo, but this was different. Sex with Tommy was different, of course it was, and that’s what threw her off. 

It wasn’t till Ali began bucking her hips upward did she realize she was really feeling it. Ali admired Tom’s blissed out face. She was doing this to him, and it absolutely gave her an ego boost. 

They were meeting each other’s thrust so roughly that all you could hear was skin slapping against skin along with the sloppy wet sound coming from Aliena’s pussy. It fueled them both with more lust for one another. 

Aliena felt that pit in her stomach again and she cried out as did Tom since her pussy tightened around his cock. He was so close and her tightening didn’t help at all. 

“Tommy, I’m clo—!”

Tom slammed his lips on hers before reaching down with one hand and began rubbing her clit. Aliena’s hips stuttered, her legs trembled, and her grip on Tommy’s hand turned iron. Tom pounded into her cunt, overwhelmed with pleasure. Aliena’s squeal as she came was muffled by Tom’s kiss. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her back arched into his chest. 

Tom wasn’t too far behind. He parted from the kiss and looked up at the ceiling as he came. Strained pants escaped him as he rode out their highs. Tom hiked Aliena’s legs up and got incredibly deeper which made Aliena giggle and sigh.  

Ali was surprised at how fucking nice it felt to be came inside of, but she loved every minute of it. Ali was the one to capture Tom’s lips this time and when she parted, she asked.

“You down for a round two?”

Tommy chuckled as he rested his forehead against her own. “Why the fuck not!”

Aliena gasped as he flipped them over with her now on top. Aliena laughed breathily and steadied herself by placing both of her hands on Tom’s chest. Tom was taken back at how sexy she was above him.

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @well-hydratedpvssy​ @the-jess-life @babaohhhriley @7shadesofharold​ @melissamaine​ @urbankaite2

[iconuk01]

Your thoughts on mister Joseph Wilson?

Which version of him? :)

Original 80's version I had a lot of time for, mostly.

A non-macho Renaissance guy with definitively 80's hair (and those gloriously OTT muttonchops), who is able to play a dozen instruments, paint amazingly well, AND also able to kick your arse if he needed to (But he wouldn't revel in it) was a nice change of pace.

The fact they made him someone with multiple romantic partners and was never shamed for it, or embarassed about it (even if it was always women, as if we might assume he was... you know... like that otherwise) The fact his mutness was extended by him never being given an internal monologue via thought bubbles was an interesting narrative choice too, though he was seen using a speech synthesizer when using the phone. I don't know how mute people felt about that sort of representation and am not qualified to comment.

I will say his intro was one of the more instantly "Yeah, I can see the shipping potential here"

His eventual reveal to have been turned murderously evil fairly early on (By being corrupted by the souls of Azarath IIRC), but played it coy was one of the most unpleasantly 90-ish of 90's moments (Him becoming the leader of a villainous group called the Wildesbeest Society was... definitely a choice too), as was his exceptionally brutal death. Like certain other characters, it seemed they didn't know how to deal with him in the new, "darker" storylines that had become popular. His return in the 00's was marred by Geoff Jones really weird obsession with "Morality is genetic" so if youre parent was a supervillain you MUST have evil at your core somewhere (See also his treatment of Superboy (Who he retconned to be half Luthor) and Boomerang (Who was a villain turned struggling hero living down his Rogue dad, until suddenly... he wasn't and was feeding his zombie dad living people in Blackest Night), so the version of Joey that he brought back has to be viewed through that filter, though I think later writers tried to correct that, but I didn't follow those issues.

His New52 versions seems to be a hot mess so I'm not going near them. The ReBirth version has made him bisexual, which is something for representation, and seems to have changed him back to be more like his original self, though a good deal more complicated in terms of his past, his powers, his morality (He's MUCH more grey about such matters than his almost painfully noble original self) and "Ikon" power suits and the like and has made him a secondary character in Deathstroke, rather than a hero in his own right, but again, I haven't read those issues because I don't really follow Deathstoke. As for his powers, they are intriguing.

Again his intro did establish what he could do effectively, and it's hard to fault a guy with his powers taking the advantage to make Dick Grayson do a little dance move or two.

(The punching is just... "Ouch" because Joey would feel it too.)

But it's instantly a completely nightmarish power too, because of the implications as regards consent issues and bodily autonomy (in an almost metaphorical way). When Joey possesses you you are awake, but can't control your body. The only thing you CAN control is your voice, but you can't do anything about what your body is doing.

And if he takes possession of you when you're asleep or unconscious he not only doesn't have to make eye contact to do it, but he controls your voice too.

Just... URK!

I have noticed that more recent iterations of the character, whether in the comics, or the Titans TV series they seem to have shifted away from the, if you'll pardon the term, visually penetrative nature of his power. He usually takes possession and remains solid himself, without pushing his way into someone's body... making his powers seem more like Karma of the New Mutants. (But again, not sure how consistent that is).

Well, that was a rather long way of saying "I like him fine", wasn't it? :)

[sadp0tat00]

NAV- By Member (Min Yoongi)

This is where I sort my ficrecs by member, all fics are (x reader) unless stated otherwise, personally I don’t really like reading mxm fics cos im basically a delusional y/n but sometimes i ran out of xreader, gave in, and actually found some good fics. (updated: 17 May 2021) moved from @ksjmlizt cos i’m a dumbass and can’t figured out how to use tumblr’s sideblog

Category: Angst (A), Fluff (F), Smut (S)

Status: ✔️ completed, or 🔛 ongoing, or 🛑 discontinued/ haven’t been updated for more than a year

disclaimer: these fics are not mine. I’ll tag the authors and you guys should go check their other works💕

Series:

Kitten's Little Flame by @magicalsalamander ✔️(6/6)

Hybrid AU, Children BTS ♥︎ A, F, S

You (cat hybrid) have transferred to a new elementary school because your parents have moved towns. You start your new kindergarten class and meet other hybrids, but one special one catches your eye, Yoongi, the dragon hybrid. How will you manage this new environment?

A Wish Out of Water by @jimlingss ✔️(2/2)

Genie!Yoongi ♥︎ F, A (very heavy angst towards the end IMO)

A genie could solve all your problems. Though you wouldn’t even know exactly what to ask for - money, a warmer house, a better job, a better life? But Min Yoongi is no ordinary genie. He’s here to make your life a living hell. Too bad it was hell to begin with.

The Truth Between Us by @jimlingss and @gukyi ✔️(7/7)

e2l AU, fic-ception ♥︎ A, F

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Cat's Cradle by @whitesparrows97 ✔️(5/5)

Hybrid AU ♥︎ A, F, S

Yoongi is your best friend – and your lovable and not at all grumpy cat hybrid, who lives with you under the same roof. He despises your boyfriend Namjoon and makes sure the human gets to feel that. A fight between you unfolds and from then on everything can only go downhill.

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg 🔛 (7/9)

Fantasy AU, Dragon!Yoongi ft. Baby!Jungkook, Baby Dragon!Hoseok ♥︎ A, F, S

When Dragon Yoongi finds baby Jungkook in the wreckage of a house he burned down, he can’t bring himself to kill the child. Months after someone drops off a baby at your door, you start to notice something- or someone, lurking at the edge of the woods.

Silver Spoon by @happy-meo ✔️(9/9)

Office AU, Rom-com ♥︎ F

Having been born and raised in the country side, you have worked hard your entire life to make it to the big city. You eventually achieved your dream and now you have a wonderful paying job for a large company and you continue putting your 110% into everything you do. However, your perfect plan to climb to success through consistent effort and hard work becomes disarrayed with the arrival of your branch’s new rebellious and easy-going CEO, who never desired the position in the first place and has never truly worked hard a day in his life. Your job is on the line if he can’t be turned into a quality CEO within a year, but he has no intention of changing himself for anyone or letting you boss him around so easily. How will you work your way through this obstacle? Will you succeed in changing him or will he be the one that changes you?

Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🔛 (5/?)

Mafia AU, pining ♥︎ A, F, eventual S

being a loner has never bothered yoongi until now. until you.

Oneshot:

Love Grows Where You Go by @hueseok

Arranged Marriage AU, Pining AU, Tsundere!Yoongi ♥︎ A, F, S

determined to make you and yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. you know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you’re positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don’t find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. that is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned.

Make me by @ppersonna

pwp, filthy fluff lol ♥︎ F, S

an ordinary sleepover with your best friend turns into anything but ordinary, thanks to your ridiculously loud neighbours above you.

Demon!Yoongi Drabble by @jungshookz

Halloween AU ♥︎ F, S

All I Want for Christmas by @hayjeon

Single dad!Yoongi, CEO!Yoongi, Secretary!reader ♥︎ F

Hold Me Tight by @floralseokjin

Established Relationship AU ♥︎ A

the end of a relationship comes slowly but suddenly

Something to hold on @fantasybangtan

Single dad!Yoongi, Christmas AU ♥︎ A, F

it’s not that you don’t like your job. on the contrary, reading bedtime stories to a certified little princess is something you still can’t believe you get paid to do. it’s just that between all the school runs, snow days and secret second hot chocolates before bed, you may fallen a little too hard for those dimpled cheeks and gummy smiles…. worse still, you’ve fallen for her father too.

Yoongi as Neuroserugon

[ggukkiereads]

Sooo I really wanted to recommend my two fave fics (maybe you've read them already 🤭) they are 'abundance' by @/angelicyoongie, and 'maybe I do' by @/jiminssthetic, hope you enjoy them 💖

🌷 Hello, anonie! I usually log recs from other readers under the #recsfromthegarden tag so it’s fine if you want to send in asks of your favorites! Doesn’t matter if I’ve read them or not; anything to promote or share other fics is💖. 

Thank you for these! Linking the fics below for those who want to read.

🌷 ggukkienotes: 

Maybe I Do is actually part of my ongoing reading list, I just haven’t reblogged it here (I usually reblog ongoing fics on my main). But I have yet to read the recent chapter! How was it? 😊 

I’m subscribed to angelicyoongie’s AO3 but I haven’t started Abundance (still need to finish the last chapter of their Namjoon fic Out of the Woods😁). But will surely read when I’m in the mood for Hybrid AUs. 

Abundance @angelicyoongie - OT7

series [13/30] | 92.7k+ | Hybrid AU, Enemies to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers | Fluff, Angst, eventual Smut

You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you.

Read here | AO3

Maybe I Do @chateautae - taehyung x reader

series [8/12] | 156k+ | CEO AU, Arranged Marriage, Strangers to Lovers | S, F, A

maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

Read here

note: fic details as of 2021 March 6; authors are updating the fics so the chapter and word count will change. 

[myramillan]

F1 Administrator 2023 Provides the Absolute Blueprint for Madden To Apprentice From

Madden May Chase in FIFA's Footsteps Last year, FIFA admirers were afraid to apprentice that EA was acutely bottomward the name from its accustomed soccer series. The two brands had been alive with anniversary added for about 30 years, but they were clumsy to accede on new terms. Apparently, Madden 25 coins capital $1 billion from EA for its name while the video bold flat additionally capital to aggrandize its monetization practices aural the authorization itself, which FIFA's restrictions did not allow. So, they beggared ways, acutely alteration the approaching of EA Sports forever.

While EA will still aftermath soccer amateur with accumulated players accept arise to apprehend over the years, it will not be application the FIFA branding anymore. Instead, it is now actuality alleged EA Sports FC, and will acceptable be that for years to come. Because of this, the flat was additionally affected to delist 10 FIFA titles from agenda storefronts, which bureau that players allegation to accept already endemic a archetype if they appetite admission to some of these iconic sports titles. Maybe the two brands will be able to arise to new acceding eventually, but that may not be for a while.

At the aloft time, EA and the NFL renewed their authorization acceding aftermost year so that the flat can abide to achieve Madden amateur for the abutting brace of years. However, with the blow of the FIFA license, some admirers accept amorphous to catechism if EA will lose added licenses as well. While it does not accept like it will be blow the NFL authorization anytime soon, no one absolutely accustomed it to lose FIFA either, so annihilation seems to be accessible adapted now.

Madden admirers accept become added analytical of the authorization over the years, and these anniversary releases accept resulted in a authorization ashore in its ways. It may still achieve a lot of money acknowledgment to its abounding microtransactions, however, that does not achieve it invincible. Over the accomplished brace of years, the authorization has garnered a lot of altercation over its Ultimate Aggregation packs and its buggy nature. Some countries accept akin approved to allocate it as actionable gambling, with countries in the European Union arch the charge. And while annihilation will acceptable change for a while, there is a adventitious that all of this altercation begins to abscess over ancient soon.

For now, EA and the NFL accept to accept an accomplished alive relationship. However, aback FIFA seems to accept beggared bureau with the studio, there is a adventitious the NFL will do that one day too. While the flat will allegedly still agitate out football games, it may not be beneath the Madden name forever. If anything, EA Sports may eventually not be the abandoned football bold developer out there, which could advance to some advantageous competition.

Madden NFL 25 is out now for PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, and Xbox Alternation X/S.

Why LEGO's Advance into Sports Amateur Aloof Makes Sense

Madden NFL 25: Best Aggregation Captains For Ultimate Team

Highlights Madden NFL 25 introduces changes to the Madden Ultimate Aggregation (MUT) feature, acceptance gamers to recruit all four aggregation captains to their ultimate team. Aback allotment a aggregation captain, players should accede factors like aggregation chemistry, scheme, and position. The commodity highlights the strengths and abilities of three aggregation captains: Kevin Mawae, Eric Berry, and Ronde Barber, emphasizing their accumulated to a Madden Ultimate Team. MMOexp VIDEO OF THE DAYSCROLL TO CONTINUE WITH CONTENT

One accustomed affection that draws absorption to the Madden NFL 25 sports video appellation is the Madden Ultimate Aggregation (MUT) feature, which allows gamers to get amateur cards and anatomy rosters. Best of the aspects in the MUT are still the aloft as in antecedent Madden titles except for the aggregation captain, breadth there are a few changes. In antecedent games, gamers could abandoned aces one aggregation captain out of the absolute four aback architecture their ultimate team. However, this has changed, and now gamers can recruit all four to their team. All the Madden nfl 25 coins for sale MUT captains alpha with a appraisement of 80, and players can admission it to 85.

[theseusernamesarehard]

Stuck in the middle - Fred Weasley

Inspired by the song Stuck In The Middle by Tai Verdes

Lyrics from the song are bolded.

Summary: Y/N catches Fred Weasley’s eye one day, but instead of agreeing to a date, she calls him out for his player ways making him even more obsessed with her. The two keep balancing on the line between friends and more, but can’t seem to cross over onto either side.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Ravenclaw!Reader

Warnings: cursing, some very light allusions to smut

Word count: 3.7k

(gif isn’t mine credit to whoever made it!)

Fred Weasley was certainly known around Hogwarts, for better of for worse. During his six year run at Hogwarts, he had amassed quite the reputation. Teachers knew him as one half of their nightmares, the Weasley twins, while most students, especially female ones, knew him as the fit and charming prankster who seemingly couldn’t stay single for too long. 

“What’s got you so focused Fred?” George grinned at the Great Hall, watching his brother.

“Seems to be the Ravenclaw table. Who could it be? Any guesses, guys?” Angelina replied.

“Cho Chang?” Lee tried. 

“Hmm...No, he’s looking a little bit left to her”, Katie said.

“I think it’s the girl a few seats over. She’s in our year right?” Angelina suggested.

“Yeah, she’s in my numerology class, I think. Y/N L/N”, Alicia confirmed.

“So you going to talk to her?” George asked, but he ended up having to wave his hand in front of his brothers gaze to get him to focus. “Fred?”

“Huh?” he seemed to snap out of something. “Sorry, what’s up?”

“We were just discussing the target of your admiration”, George said.

“What are you talking about?” Fred laughed.

“You not being able to keep your eyes away from the Ravenclaw table”, Angelina smiled. “Who were you looking at?”

“No one”, Fred replied.

“Really? Not even Y/N L/N?” Alicia asked.

“So that’s her name.”

“Are you going to admit that you were staring?” George asked.

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go”, Fred said after noticing the girl exciting the Great Hall. He got up and went after her, eventually falling into pace with the Ravenclaw. 

She raised her eyebrow at him, having never even shared a class or talked to the boy.

“Looking for something?” Y/N asked.

“I was. The most beautiful girl ever. Lucky for me, the search is finally over”, he said and caused her to roll her eyes. “Like the line, eh?”

“If by ‘like’ you mean ‘find incredibly corny and almost embarrassing’ then yes. I love it.”

“Good, because there are many more where that came from. You can find those out, if you agree to go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday.”

“So you’ve come to ask me out?”

“It seems as though I have.”

“Unfortunately I’m going to have to decline.”

“What? Why?”

“I think you know why.”

“I cannot think of even one reason why you shouldn’t give me a chance.”

“You’re a player, aren’t you?” 

“Not into quidditch guys then?”

“The other kind of player. The type that plays with girl’s emotions instead of bludgers.”

“Sounds like you don’t know me at all. I’m nothing like that and if you gave Hogsmeade a chance, I could prove it.”

“Trust me, Fred Weasley, I know you quite well. And from what I know, you’re a player, whether you choose to ignore it or not. I’m very sorry, but my answer is still no. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to the library”, she said and with that, left him standing at the corridor.

“Judging by your expression she turned you down”, George said as Fred entered the Gryffindor common room.

“Sure did.”

“Why? I mean, we don’t blame her but for some reason girls usually find you utterly irresistible”, Lee asked.

“Not all girls”, Alicia noted, Katie and Angelina nodding.

“Sorry, all girls that don’t know him.”

“She claimed she did know me. Called me a player and walked off.”

“Quite rude”, Lee said.

“But understandable”, Angelina added.

“Don’t you accuse me of that as well”, Fred groaned.

“Well the time between a relationship ending and a new one beginning has usually been suspiciously short when it comes to you”, Katie said.

“I prefer to think I just go with the flow.”

“I think there have been more than a few instances where you have also blatantly disregarded girls’ feelings”, Alicia pointed out.

“Fine, maybe I am a bit of a player. But I don’t think that means she shouldn’t give me a chance.”

“She probably just doesn’t want to waste her time. You have a reputation and if she knows that, I don’t blame her for thinking you’re going to break her heart”, Alicia said.

“Well I guess I’ll just have to convince her I won’t.”

“Why not just let it go? I mean I’m sure there are other girls at Hogwarts who would die to go on a date with you”, George asked.

“Because this is now about me proving her wrong.”

Next weekend at Hogsmeade, Y/N was walking around the village with her friends, chatting about pretty much nothing when she felt a hand tap on her shoulder. She turned around to a grinning Fred Weasley.

“What do you want?” she asked him.

“Christ, what happened to the act of greeting someone? Just a simple hello, how are you?” Fred pouted.

“Don’t have a lot of time, had to cut to the chase”, she replied bluntly.

“I’ll be quick. Mind if I borrow her for a second?” he asked her friends, who all replied with enthusiasm. 

“No, not at all. Take your time”, one of her friends smiled.

“Make it quick”, Y/N corrected as she let him drag her away from her friends.

“Just wait a second.”

“Waiting is literally the opposite of quick.”

“No, slow is the opposite of quick.”

“Well waiting is very slow, so my point still stands.”

“As much as I would love to argue this with you. We’ve arrived at our destination”, he said and gestured at the sign of Three Broomsticks.

“I thought I made myself quite clear when I declined you offer”, Y/N noted.

“Ah, but you see you declined my offer of a date. Now this is another offer. How about we go to Three Broomsticks as friends?”

“Why do you want to do that? It seems quite hard to believe there are no underlying motivations here.”

“What on earth could those be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps you want me to come here as a friend with the hopes it will turn into something more? Which then means that you aren’t asking me as a friend.”

“You are right and wrong. I do have other motivations, but I am not asking you for anything more than your friendship. I want to prove you wrong.”

“Prove me wrong? About what exactly?”

“About me being a player.”

“You can’t fool me like that. There isn’t a lot that you can do to make me change my mind.”

“Why don’t you try me on that? I know you wanna be friends.”

“Fine, one butterbeer and no funny business.”

“You won’t regret it.”

And to (Y/N)’s surprise, she didn’t. Fred was good company and she ended up having fun. 

“So you’ve finished your drink. One could say our deal is up”, Fred smirked.

“Are you trying to justify any funny business? Because I was just starting to think you might not be such a prick after all.”

“Ha! So I proved you wrong then?”

“No. I said you might not be such a prick. And besides, being a player doesn’t require being a prick.”

“Well, how can I prove you wrong?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I kind of do.”

“Why?”

“I tend to be quite stubborn.”

“Well you can’t really change my mind on this.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I tend to be quite stubborn as well.”

“So I suppose there’s no dating you anytime soon then?”

“No, but friends does sound pretty good”, she smiled.

But friends turn into sleepovers, AKA long nights in the common room, that  might have ended in one of their dorms a few times. And after some time, sleepovers turn into love or at least something similar to that. The only problem with that happened to be that neither expressed those feeling to one another. They didn’t know what they were or if they even were anything. They hadn’t had the need to figure their relationship out, until one day.

“Hello? Fred? Freddie? Frederick Gideon Weasley!” George said, trying to get his brother’s attention. Fred didn’t seem to notice him, eyes fixated on an exchange at the Ravenclaw table, until his brother poked him in the side quite harshly.

“What?” he turned.

“You’re staring like a creep”, Katie noted.

“This time there isn’t really a need to guess who it is though”, Lee smirked. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please! I saw her sneaking out of your bed just two nights ago!”

“Who?” Fred tried, but knew all hope was lost at that point.

“I saw Y/N. There is literally no need to hide it, because you two are so bloody obvious.” 

“No we aren’t!” Fred argued.

“Please, Fred. We’ve all seen you two sneak out of corridors looking a bit disheveled”, Angelina said.

“Not to mention all the times she’s come to the Gryffindor common room”, Katie noted.

“As friends! She’s come up to hang out with us as friends!”

“And yet somehow you two are always the last one’s there. Alone.”

“And somehow that always ends up either with me having to hear you two making out on your way up the stairs or me having to wake up to you sneaking back to bed at five am!” George joined.

“So will you just admit that you two are together?” Angelina asked.

“No! Because we’re not. I-I don’t what we are, but clearly we aren’t together”, he said, nodding towards the Ravenclaw table, where Y/N seemed to be talking with some Durmstrang boy.

“Ah, I see the problem”, Alicia said.

“That doesn’t mean anything, though”, George comforted.

“Please. She’s been laughing at his jokes for the entirety of dinner and even did the thing where she flings her hair over her shoulder”, Fred said, plopping his head in his hands.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to get any hair in her mouth?” Lee tried.

“See this is completely ridiculous. She clearly thinks she can’t trust me and I bet she’s just been using me this whole time. Lucky for her, two can play at that game.”

“So you’re just going to prove her point about you being a player?” Katie asked.

“No, I’m going to show her that I don’t care about what she does.”

“Sure, that seems like the healthy thing to do”, George muttered.

“Angelina, I need you to do me a favour.”

Love turns into jealousy and now we both fucked up.

Y/N was just about to walk out of the Great Hall, when she heard Fred at the Gryffindor table.

“Angelina, want to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

Of bloody course. Y/N had known about Fred’s reputation with girls and that was the reason she didn’t want to go out with him in the first place. She was supposed to be smarter than that! But she couldn’t help developing feelings for him after finding out how truly charming he could be. It wasn’t her fault that he always managed to make her laugh of roll her eyes with his cheesy lines. It wasn’t her fault that he somehow always managed to win at exploding snap. And it certainly wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t help kissing him back when he leaned in one night at the Gryffindor common room.

She originally hadn’t had any intentions to do anything with the Durmstrang boy, even though he was relentlessly flirting with her, but after seeing Fred so casually ask someone else to the ball, clearly without even sacrificing a thought to her, she was fuming. So like any sensible person, she turned around and went to find the boy. He was still in the Great Hall, so making sure that she was in hearing of the Gryffindor table, she asked him if he would like to go the ball with her. To which he agreed very excitedly, to Fred’s annoyance.

Fred and Y/N didn’t talk for the entirety of the time leading up to the Yule Ball, both mad at the other person.

“Y/N, it’s completely okay to be upset about the Fred thing”, one of her friends said carefully at dinner, the day before the ball.

“I’m not upset!” she snapped. “I knew something exactly like this would happen, which is why I didn’t date him!”

“Perhaps you were never official, but it was quite obvious something was going on there. You don’t have to try and deny that.”

“Whatever, let’s talk about something else. I’m sick of him.”

“I’m sick of her!” Fred said the same day at the Gryffindor table.

“I’m starting to be too with having to hear him complain about her all the time”, Lee muttered to the others.

“Why won’t you just talk to her”, George suggested.

“Because there’s nothing to talk about”, Fred claimed.

“Then what have you been babbling on about for the past two weeks? It’s always Y/N this and Y/N that”, Alicia said.

“She’s right. If I have to hear about her and that Durmstrang boy one more time you’re going to the ball by yourself!” Angelina claimed. “It’s already bad enough you used me to get revenge on her.”

“Not my fault you owed me one. A favour is a favour and you can’t not do it anymore.”

“Still, just talk to her. Please?” George tried one last time.

“No. She made her choice and I am completely okay with that.”

But he wasn’t. Everyone could see that. If only he could see that Y/N wasn’t close to okay either. The two should’ve seen this coming, both of them having admitted to extreme stubbornness right from the start, but they didn’t.

So needless to say, neither of them was having much fun at the ball. Both jealous and mad at the other person.

“That’s it. I can’t take this anymore”, Angelina sighed. “I’m taking matters into my own hands.”

Before Fred could say anything, she had walked off to Y/N and her date, who were sitting at one of the tables, not talking to each other.

“Hi Y/N! Would you mind if I borrowed your date for a second? Mine seems to be no fun”, she smiled.

“Umm...I guess I don’t?” Y/N said, confused as to what was happening.

“Great! You can definitely borrow Fed for a dance if you’d like.”

“I don’t think that’s a good ide-”, Y/N tried, but was interrupted by Angelina grabbing her hand and leading her to Fred. 

“You two have fun!” Angelina smiled and returned to the Durmstrang boy.

“I had no idea she was going to do that”, Fred assured.

“It’s fine”, Y/N sighed. Both of them just stood there awkwardly for a moment.

“I think we don’t really have any other choice, but to dance”, Fred said.

“I guess we don’t”, she smiled slightly.

They went up to the floor and danced silently to a slow song. His hands placed on her waist and hers wrapped around his neck.

“So...a Durmstrang boy, huh?” Fred asked after a while.

“Angelina, huh?” Y/N asked back.

“Owed me a favour”, he shrugged slightly.

“Why would you ask her as a favour when half of Hogwarts would’ve loved nothing more than to be your date?” Y/N laughed.

“Perhaps, because the one girl I wanted to go with was clearly planning on going with someone else”, he said. They were quite literally dancing on the line of something neither of them truly wanted to admit to.

“Who?” Y/N asked. 

“Wow, for a Ravenclaw you don’t seem to be that smart”, he laughed. “I err...I wanted to ask you.”

“What?” her eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. “You’re joking, aren’t you?

“Why would I be joking?” they had now stopped dancing, both just staring at each other on the dance floor.

“Because you’re the one who asked Angelina first!”

“I only asked Angelina, because you were clearly flirting with the Durmstrang boy!”

“I wasn’t flirting with him!”

“You asked him to the ball, didn’t you?”

“I asked him because you had asked Angelina right in front of me!”

Fred couldn’t help, but to stat laughing uncontrollably.

“What?” Y/N asked, not seeing what was so funny about the situation.

“This is ridiculous!”

“Why is that?”

“I thought you were flirting with the Durmstrang boy, so I got jealous and asked Angelina, which made you get jealous and drove you to ask the Durmstrang boy!”

Now Y/N was starting to laugh too, seeing how ridiculous their situation truly was.

“We’re both bloody idiots, aren’t we?”

“Maybe idiocy loves company too”, Fred smiled and finally closed the gap between them.

After breaking apart from the kiss, which had started out innocent, but had been well on it’s to getting them both kicked out of the ball, the pair noticed way too many grinning faces around them. Y/N was quite sure she saw a few of her friends exchanging coins.

“I think I could use some fresh air”, Fred said, glaring at his friends. 

“Me too, How about a walk around the garden?” Y/N smiled.

The two left hand in hand followed by a choir of ‘ooh’s produced by their friends, which they chose two ignore. As soon as they had sat down on the grass under the grass, Fred tried to lean in, but she stopped him by putting her finger on his lips.

“I want to talk with you”, she said.

“That’s new”, he smirked.

“Shut up”, she rolled her eyes. “I feel like tonight and everything leading up to tonight kind of proved something.”

“Proved what?”

“That we need to figure this out.”

“What’s there to figure out? You like me, I like you. Let’s just go back to how it was a few weeks ago.”

“Are you serious? Everything is to figure out. We’re stuck in the middle of lovers and friends. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it too. We’re not dating, but we’re not friends, we get jealous, but don’t say anything about it, because we’re not together. But if we were just friends, we wouldn’t have any reason to be jealous.”

“It’s not ideal, is it?”

“We’re losing every part of the benefit.”

“I wasn’t planning on admitting this, but you hurt me more than I ever knew” he said and Y/N saw a veil pulled back, a mask of confidence being removed. Fred had wanted to keep up the player reputation, but he found out just how bitter his own medicine tasted. “And it’s shitty ‘cause I’m doing the same to you.”

“We’ll figure it out”, she promised, placing her hand on top of his. He looked up at her sparkling eyes.

“The moonlight really does you justice you know”, he said quietly.

“Same goes for you too”, she said back, their faces now mere inches from each other.

And without realizing, they didn’t talk about well...anything for the rest of the night, especially not about what they were. But luckily, Y/N was determined to not put the conversation off for another day. So at breakfast the next day after the ball, she went up to him at his table.

“Have any time?” she asked.

“Always for you, love”, he smiled sheepishly. “Don’t wait up!” he yelled to his friends as she grabbed is hand and dragged him away.

“An empty classroom, eh?” he wiggled his eyebrows as they arrived to the destination.

“Keep it in your pants, pervert. We still haven’t talked.”

“Right. I guess we did get a little distracted last night.”

“Are we exclusive or not?” she asked, wanting to get the conversation over with.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do? Seems like you love me a lot.” he grinned.

“Can we stop the joking and take me seriously?”

“Fine”, he sighed. “I’ll do my very best, bu we’ll have to wait and see”, he promised while leaning in.

Their problem seemed to be that with them talks turn into sleepless nights and sleepless nights turn into love. For Y/N, love turns into impatience.

“You still haven’t answered me”, she cornered him one day in an empty corridor.

“About what?”

“What are we?”

“I did answer you. I said we are whatever you want us to be.”

“That’s not how it works! Both of us need to agree on it. You saying you’re fine with everything means that you don’t want anything serious!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does. It means that you just want to keep doing whatever you want with whoever you want!”

“Don’t put words in my mouth! I haven’t been doing anything with anyone. This is just about you not trusting me!”

“No, this is about you avoiding every conversation I try to have about this, which is why I can’t trust you. You’re clearly just waiting until you eventually get sick of me and want to move on with as little breaking up and guilt as you can!”

And now we both fucked up.

“So you still think of me like that? A player who is just waiting for an opportunity to jump on the next girl that comes by, huh?” he asked, hurt by her words.

“Nothing has changed since the Yule Ball. We’re still stuck in the middle.”

“You need to understand that I don’t want anyone else. If I have to be stuck in the middle with someone, I want to be stuck in the middle with you.”

He pulled her in for a hug. Tighter than any other one before. It was like he was scared of letting go. Their problem was how bad they were at feelings. Especially their feelings for each other, that were growing stronger by the moment. ‘Cause fights turn into making up and making up turns into love. Neither of them were brave enough to admit that they were falling in love with each other. Not to themselves, and certainly not to the other person. 

“I want us to be together”, Fred murmured into her hair. 

“What?”

“You’ve asked me a million times what I want us to be and I didn’t want to admit this because...I don’t know why. Perhaps because I’ve never cared about what anyone thinks of me as much as I care about what you think of me. And besides, relationships turn into love and-”, he took a deep breath. Y/N saw that this was another one of those moments when the mask of confidence and cockyness was being removed. “Love turns into forever and to be honest, that scares me.”

“I think that scares both of us.”

“Lucky for you, I’m a Gryffindor”, he smiled, the mask not coming back, but a slight glimmer in his eyes appearing. “Facing fears is kind of our thing. So what do you say Y/N? Want to be with me forever and ever and ever?”

Y/N replied by simply kissing him.

“Is that a yes or-?”, he asked once they broke apart.

“You’re even dafter than I thought, Weasley. Of course it’s a yes. I want to be yours forever and ever and ever and ever-”, she mocked.

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

And she did. They both broke up with wide smiles on their faces.

“So you’re my boyfriend now, huh?”

“I’m sorry did you prefer lover?”

“Certainly not, I think boyfriend will do for now.”

“As you wish, girlfriend”, he grinned, nudging her slightly.

“Don’t say it like that. Its making me want to go back to friends.”

“Unfortunately you’re stuck with me for forever and ever and ever, remember?”, he said cheerfully and put an arm around her shoulder.

“At least stuck with you and not stuck in the middle.”

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

Diabolica - series page

Asa Emory x female OC (Rhiannon)

Current rating: T

Summary: She needs a supervisor for her graduate thesis, he needs a teaching assistant - it would be a perfect match, if only they didn't absolutely despise each other.

Content tags: Professor!Asa, medium burn, eventual s/mut, enemies to lovers... to enemies to lovers to enemies etc, slightly AU

Notes: Applicable warnings will be listed at the start of each chapter. Inspo tag is #ex. Diabolica, oc tag is #oc Rhiannon.

Part 1