#every time i see that 'in battle' meme on my dash i remember how i made that meme and specifically had a small stamp of credit linked in an

[shygirl4991]

True Love Kiss

Artwork all done by @merp0515 do not repost

The fic is base on my theory about Three being aware he is in a fairytale episode enjoy!

Summary:  He won't let someone else tell him how to live his life, he doesn't need a prince, what he needs is an evil witch that lives in the woods. 

Tag: Fairy Tale parody, True loves kiss, princess three, witch four, fluff and angst, posting this before the episode comes out so lets see what i get right

Once upon a time there was a kingdom with a beautiful princess named Super meme guardian 3, the kingdom knew him as Princess SMG3. He was known to have grand knowledge of dead memes, something that was extremely rare to have. Everyone from all over the world have heard of him, over the years many have wanted to win his hand in marriage. They have all failed until the princess's birthday marking him to be twenty five, he was sitting on the throne bored over the event.  In the shadow no one noticed an evil witch was hiding, waiting for his time to strike. He had a spell all set to throw the moment the winner of the event. 

Prince Luigi walks up to the stage, he pulls out his sword and starts fighting the corrupted memes. The event made royal’s from all over prove they have the power to defend the kingdom, not to mention protect the beautiful Princess Three. While everyone was excited by the events, SMG3 blinks looking around confused, he watches everything unfold in front of him. Everything felt cloudy as if he was dreaming. In no time Luigi won the battle and everyone cheered for him. Three clapped as he looked around the room, noticing things felt slightly off, was he dreaming? He looked down and gasp “What the fuck?” he gets up confused seeing himself in a purple dress, looking around he then sees SMG4 smirking and running up the stage. Everyone was panicking dashing to protect the princess, Three stands there watching confused as the witch throws a potion at his feet. He started coughing as his vision got blurred with a blue fog “See how you love your princess now with this curse!” he runs off leaving everyone in the room looking around lost. Once he was able to see, Three dashes after four “SMG4 WAIT WHAT IS GOING ON?!” he tosses his heels to run faster. They make it outside only for Four to turn and cast a spell teleporting away “Fuck!” Three swore to losing the man. Slowly he notices where he is, as he looks around he jumps in surprise seeing his avatar as a deer. It felt as though someone just placed him in  a cheap disney knock off, he panics as he looks around trying to find anything familiar. 

No matter where he looked, everything felt like someone threw up every fairytale cliche known to man. He made it back to the castle and sighs, he wasn't able to figure out where Four went or where the hell he was. As he walked around he noticed people giving him strange looks, he looked at his reflection and glares.  Why was he even here? The last thing he remember was being in the basement getting the light back on in the castle then a strange TV was there. His head hurts remembering the event, as he rubs his head a knock was heard. He walks to the door to see two shadow figures. “Son, we learn the curse placed on you by that evil witch…it has made you invisible to the world.” The voices made it hard for Three to figure out if the person talking to him was his mother or father. From his understanding he was cursed in this world to go through the same things he already goes through in reality. He sighs at his luck, once his parents are gone he decides to sneak out of the castle and attempt to find this so-called evil witch.

He waits till it's late in the night, climbs out his window, determined to find his ex rival.  He charges into the woods not knowing something was watching him, a small TV jingle starts to play catching his attention. He looks around the woods nervous “ Fuck i hate the dark….SMG4? IS THAT YOU WITH THE STUPID SONG?” he hears a giggle making him turn. He lets out a girlish scream as he is blinded by the light of a TV screen “Hello Princess it is i, your fairy god puzzle here to help you find what you're searching for! True love!”  Three rolls his eyes and walks away “True love? That's a fairytale joke.” The fairy god puzzle chuckles “Is it because you fear you can't be loved?” Three turns seeing the screen flicker different emotions before giving him a gentle smile “It’s okay to be scared, take my hand and I will show you the truth!”  slowly memories hit him. He holds his head remembering the TV they saw in the basement, the channels showing them different series for different ages before a body appeared out of nowhere. He takes a step back, as the memories stop hitting him, slowly the face of shock turn into anger “YOU FUCKER, YOUR THE REASON WE ARE HERE!” 

Seeing his actor break character, his screen flickers stopping Three in his tracks, the channel it stopped showed his friends screaming in pain. Then it flipped to SMG4, he looked drained of emotions as he kept drawing random items in a notepad.  Three growls at the adware “Fine…i will play your game, but if i do you let the others go!” The TV man laughs nodding his head “Only if you give me good entertainment!” With a snap of his wrist, Three was in a field with SMG4 cloaked laughing “So you found me huh Princess, so what's your plan now? I will never break your curse!” Before he can speak Luigi appears out of nowhere to protect him “Stay away from my maiden! Don't worry princess, I will get rid of this monster!” Three frowns at the words as he looks at Four, he feels his cheeks warm up looking at the man. SMG4 may have ruined his life in the past and they still have things they need to work on, it never made Three see the other man as a monster. They both went through shit and that is what made them who they are today. Luigi starts to fight with SMG4, Magic and swords clash and Three looks for something to stop this, The adware chuckles watching the whole thing “Face it, the only way for this to end is with the death of the evil witch and for the hero to give you true loves kiss!”

SMG3 stomps his heel to the floor “TRUE LOVE'S KISS? YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!” Luigi stops fighting to run to him, Four just stands back watching things curiously. Luigi gently takes Three’s hand “If true love kiss will save you then I shall do it!”  Three growls stomping over to SMG4 “I'M SICK OF THIS, YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” the witch stared at the princess confused as to what was going on. His eyes go wide as the princess picks him up by the overall strap of his outfit “Pucker up lover boy!”  and just like that kisses the evil witch that cursed him. Something about the kiss just felt right, as if he had been waiting for this moment for years, the adware let out a dark chuckle pleased to see his planned work “And with true love's kiss the curse is over!”  Three pulled away glaring at the adware waiting for his friends to be free.  

He claps slowly “My look at the ratings, the world has been waiting to see that! As my thanks, I think I will make you my next star again.” Hearing this Three shaked his head, he was about ready to kill the man before him. Unfortunately everything went black, he groans rubbing his head and looks around confused as to where he was. He gets up and hears an opening theme song, his eyes go wide “I'M STILL IN THE TV!” he can feel himself shaking.  Only to jump at a gentle touch, he turns and sees Four. His eyes go wide seeing the man “Four?” with a nod SMG4 looks around confused “We were in the basement, how did we get here?” With a soft smile he pulled four into a hug. Things are gonna be okay, they are together now and with their memories back they will stop the adware, they will save their friends. Not to mention try to figure out what that true love kiss truly meant. 

[saltpepperbeard]

hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them

Oh, anon <3. I so very love that you're spreading this loveliness around, because I ALSO love talking about dear mutuals so LET'S GOOOOO:

@ella-doe - My WIFEY <3. Arguably the #1 Stiddies Fan, and ASSUREDLY the #1 Daddy Jenki-(GETS SHOT). Talking to her is always such a delight; she's so lovely and supportive. Started from the bottom (occasionally screaming over something in DM's), now we're here <3 (married like 4 or 5 times over at this point idk).

@blakbonnet - MY PARTNER IN CLOWN CRIMES 🤡. Any time ANYTHING clown-specific occurs, Meow is like the first person I think of hsdjksds. And I think the feeling is mutual; we both have matching rainbow wigs at this point 🤡🤡🤡. Can't wait to start the clownery right back up after season 2 airs lmao like ALRIGHT, SEASON 3 TRAILER???? 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

@dickfuckk - Josh and I were having a time and a half when some footage of Taika in his S2 Ed getup dropped lmao. Like we Saw God for a split second there. So he understands me on like a fundamental and deep level. He ALSO has saved my life numerous times when it comes to panels, or any other sort of cast/crew-related video. Had it not been for his sacrifices and battles against Pop[redacted] lmao, I would've missed MANY a panel.

@bizarrelittlemew - Talented beyond belief, like holy SHIT. Makes immaculate gif sets (DJenks even reblogged one so like, 🎵can I make it anymore obvviousss🎵), and is also an INSANE writer. Need y'all to know that Keep Your 'Lectric Eye On Me, Babe is in my regular rotation, but I'm just always so SO astounded by everything she makes.

@snake-snack-stede - Regularly makes me laugh OUT LOUD with her memes and commentary. Like, if ever I come across a post with her name on it, I know there's like a 100000000% chance it will make me release some sort of "bAHAAAAA." The wheezes I've whoozed,,, So, she's always very much a welcome presence on my dash.

@sherlockig - If EVER you need a good screen grab/edit of OFMD, Alexz is 10000% your best bet. Has probably captured and edited every inch of the show, which is perfect for the times where you want to see a specific moment and cry/throw up/pass out over it being so wonderfully frozen.

@stedebonnets - The sweetest, loveliest darling of a human being I ever did know. Is always SO wonderfully supportive, and just radiates warmth and niceties. Also makes IMMACULATE gifs; inspired me to turn up the Coloring Heat on a lot of my own, really! And I also just learned that the first OFMD thing I ever reblogged was actually one of her sets, so she's VERY IMPORTANT TO ME SHDJKLS <3

@xoxoemynn - Speaking of understanding me on a deep and fundamental level lmao, EM UNDERSTANDS ME ON A DEEP AND FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL SHDKJS. We keep cracking each other up because like, we'll share the most random opinion ever, only for us to realize we align EXACTLY. she makes me feel Seen, okay. she makes me feel UNDERSTOOD SHDJKSL. Also, her writing is so so lovely, and her presence is even lovelier <3

@forpiratereasons - Produces some of my favorite writing in the entire fandom. I am so SO fond of so many of her stories, and regularly re-visit a lot of them. Insane to me that we regularly cross paths now, because I remember seeing her works before I was officially in the fandom. AND NOW SHE REBLOGS MY SETS??? AND I CAN ALSO SCREAM DIRECTLY @ HER???? #BLESSED HSDJKLS

@not-nervous-jester - And SPEAKING of favorite writing, darling Jams wrote one of my favorites aka Somewhere in the Water. YES, I bring this up a lot, but LISTEN LMAO, I NEED THEM TO KNOW 🔪. I NEED THEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW LOVELY IT IS/THEY ARE 🔪🔪❤️❤️ HSKDJS. And aside from their lovely writing, they also Hear Me Out and hype up my silly goofy screaming fits, which is ALWAYS appreciated <3

@skysofrey - AN ABSOLUTE RAY OF SUNSHINE. I see those 💛💛💛 in the tags or on a post, and just immediately feel so much sunnier myself. Just so so sweet and lovely, and just like Jams, ALSO furthers my hollering/analysis/breakdowns PFFFF. A Hypeman (gn) for the Screams™

@crueley - Yet another person who just Gets my Taika breakdowns, and has also been the DIRECT CAUSE OF MANY SHDKLSKD. Like sometimes I'll just wander into their gif tag, and lol oh no BOOM I've suddenly spiraled down into the abyss. But I can't even be mad about it because we bonded over Mostin Posts, and have been crashing downwards ever since <3 PFFF

@awkward-fallen-angel - Extremely fond of Heather, because he was one of the first people to ever try and talk to me when I first got into the fandom! It's always very daunting wandering into a fandom space, especially after the fact/after things have already dropped. So, she made me feel welcomed/included, and allowed me to find my footing a bit faster as a result. And even though he's busier with life, I still always think about her! Like, that one picture from last October-ish where it was all the spooky mutuals around the cafeteria table? STILL THE MOOD <3

@blackbeardskneebrace - Miles' art drives me bonkers bananas in the best way possible. They always capture the likeness of the characters SO freaking well, and have posted so many creative pieces that my mind gets boggled on the regular. Also, my go-to for FORGS,,, I really love froggies as well, so seeing Little Guys and subsequent facts about them on my dash is SUCH a delight.

@darkinerry - Regularly decks me upside the head with Taika footage I've never seen before, and I cannot express how happy that makes me LMAO. Like, I'll just be minding my business, and suddenly I'll be steaming in a Jodi-shaped crater in the ground because a Taika Gym Set or something equivalent from Marlena has slammed my sorry self through sheets of bedrock idk </3.

@adickaboutspoons - Writes the most poetic, and I mean, THE most poetic tags. I regularly get exposed to just lovely MASTERPIECES of thoughts, and it's like reading a beautiful fanfiction at the bottom of a gif set. Also, regularly backs Stede up, which is always appreciated because I'm holding him so tenderly in my hands at all times. So she GETS IT <3

@aha-my-villainous-thoughts - Creates some of the most striking art EVER. I've said this before, and I'll say it again; the usage of COLOR knocks my socks clean-off. like lol they're gone where did they go idk i am SOCKLESS OVER SUCH LUMINESCENCE. Every piece seems to GLOW, and it's just an absolute marvel to stumble across each and every time. I'm just in a constant state of being blown away, and LOSING MY SOCKS SHDJKLS <3

[laprimera]

catching up to dash since early morning is wild. but since everyones putting their two cents in lemme throw a bet in from someone who's been in poke rpc for some seven or so odd years ( hell some people have been around longer LMAO ).

I see a lot of posts focused on the individual experience, and thats great and not so great at the same time. It's tumblr, I get it. For the longest time peeps have been putting up with their time and energy being spent on the outside just to get online and want to relax. Let's not forget the mental illnesses that make energy and attention just impossible literally to do things lmao.

I love seeing people taking steps to take care of themselves. The early days didn't have carefully made boundaries and I saw so many peeps get burnt out making this a job more then a hobby, getting abused, a lot of nasty stuff but all that changed when the attitude changed. It's been so much better for everyone that way.

But I also observe the community in this .. or lack of in some ways. There's also been a lot of people leaving because of little interaction or in some cases being shunned from events that are supposedly open. That's a recent movement. I remember dash wide spontaneous events, the rpc sharing and evolving a plot that may have started from one blog before connecting so many others, raid battles with legendary pokemon that went out of control, etc!

Im not saying you can't have a circle of pals. I sure do! I'm saying have instances of being open for others to interact and get involved. I'm sure a lot of peeps wouldn't have even met their pals without having that oppurtunity to participate in something small that became something very big! This hobby is great because there's a community to share and be apart of and to deny or shun new players or even current ones who want to be part of something great is counterintuitive for a community at whole. Whether thats rb'ing memes, letting peeps comment on ic posts or dash posts, having starter calls, making aus that aren't connected to a plot so it's easier to open to new engagement, etc.

Course there's the argument of "its my X so I will say what or who goes into X" and you're right! There's a perfect balance of boundaries understood and being made and maybe opening the narrative to players who genuinely look interested and try to join who listen to said boundaries and participate fairly and with anticipation.

But more then anything make it easy to do so. I also remember the period when people would put cryptic rule passwords in their rules. Like...Im talking they broke them up, scattered them around all around their tiny text, glow up pages and if you get one word wrong theyd tell you try again....lol. We don't need that. Getting the nuisances of society is hard enough least of all for the peeps who have conditions that make this extra hard. I'm talking from someone who has an extreme case of social anxiety (doctors word for it, not mine LAUGHs) and ADHD. I don't communicate or participate like regular players. In fact I only gauge how well I can play with someone by casual one off ic back and forth first and build from there. Maybe by the third or fourth interaction Im brave enough to reach out via DMs. I literally have panic attacks and take a week to answer IMs that come out of the blue asking to participate which is just the regular thing to do in the rpc, but I literally can't do that. Sadly I've been reprimanded for trying to have casual back and forths throughout the years despite how apparent I make it that I have a very hard time going into IMs or asks without knowing you first.

We should make ourselves accessible! We talk about making front pages accessible for those hard of sight, google documents to make things easy, icons and all that but don't really talk about making the important communication between peeps accessible for people with handicaps too.

All in all this is my opinion and observation! The community changes every few years and it's interesting to see how it turns one way or the other. You dont have to listen to me or any of this really! Be as private or as open as ya like. This is after all a hobby and Im literally turning into the old man in the corner on his rocker literally and figurately.

also fuck fetish asks. that has never changed and I hate it.

[godkilller]

[nulltune]

THE HAKUNO CIRCLE OF SHAME

OK HI I LOVE SMOLANA DEL RAY SO FRIKKIN MUCHHHH 🙏🙏💖💖💖 I CAN RAMBLE ABT IT FOR HOURS TBH but pls know that i am simply Heart Eyes every time smol graces my dash/notifs with her presence 😳😳😳👉👈💞💞💓 

BUT OKAY SMOL-LUVIN' ASIDE-- THIS IS GONNA BE A LONGASS POST. AND WHEN I SAY LONGASS, I MEAN LONGASS. as in: do not click read more unless you want your dash flooded by this one post JDJSHFJSH

for context: i joked abt doing the 4 headcanons meme for all of smol's muses,, but little did she know..... i am a feral clown who's got hakuno brainrot on da mind 24/7. very bold of me to do so with minimal knowledge on any other fate character other than miss kishinami (my beloved 🥺❤) but ya know what???

THE SPIRIT OF HAKUNO HAS POSSESSED ME SO I AM NOW HERE TO PROVE YOU WRONG SMOL!!!!!! and to immortalize your willy wonka pfp here tbh heeheehoohoo

both had short lives that ended up being lost because of a war, both lived a life with no regrets; but what's interesting is what happens after their death and their views on themselves. achilles lived "the short life of a hero with brilliant achievements in battle", but his name is forever carved into history and he is remembered as a hero. hakuno is a glitch that won't be remembered, she knows that the world will go on without and that her death is just insignificant loss — but she finds comfort in that and is happy that those she cares for will continue to move on to the future. listen... i love Contrast(TM) and i just think it'd be an interesting thing to explore idk!!!!

they're vastly differently in terms of how they view their own selves, but mayhaps achilles can help hakuno gain some pride in her achievements 🤔 (girlie literally won a war and Ended it pls) and realize that she's much more heroic than the sort of antagonistic character she thinks she is. on hakuno's end — she can humble him a bit. GSNFB I JOKEEE!! but i think she could mayhaps bring out a softer and chiller side to him than the usual pompous fighty achilles?

she would very much like to meet his horses!! and taking a trip down memory lane... here's the first ever ask i ever sent to a smowu blog (GASP! 😳) and hakuno absolutely is the type to talk to animals as well, so perhaps the two can bond over that?

adding to that above point-- she'd probably try to be his "mentor" when it comes to "politely communicating to animals" (spoiler alert: it's really the most basic advice ever) and in turn, she's like him to teach her how to properly care for his horses too! she'd come in to check up on them every now and then and would always bring an apple as a treat for each of em n_n (if achilles asked her if she came to see him she'd give him the d r i e s t expression ever. hakuno vc ..what do you think?) (and when he looks away she presses a snack that she got for him against his cheek) (she do be like that)

LISTEN I STILL LAUGH OVER HAKUNO AND HER BROKEN FRENCH GDJSHFJSJ but!!!! in an effort to impress jeannu, hakuno seeks a tutor to improve her french. after much effort to search for one and the rejection from a certain other avenger, she found her savior in the form of a french-japanese chaldea staff member willing to devote an hour of their day to teach the moon girl some french. would this newfound interaction cause a change in the avenger's seemingly adamant answer of "no"? who knows--

ALSO THE CONCEPT OF HAKUNO TEACHING JALTER HOW TO READ..... i'd imagine that outside of historical and informative stuff (hakuno's a real big history buff ya see!) she'd like those feel good happy ending kind of stories... which i feel like jalter might just scoff at i think. i think these reading sessions could be a regular thing with these two mayhaps... :] with hakuno brewing a different kind of tea and lowkey trying to gauge jeannu's reaction to find out her favorite! (hakuno vc maybe you'd prefer some other beverage... but nothing beats a warm cup of tea while reading... ah-- unless you do prefer some other drink, avenger?!)

i can lowkey imagine hakuno reading out a story to jalter only to pause all of a sudden because it got to a sad part and she's trying really hard not to cry, cue a heavy sigh from the avenger as she takes the book away from hakuno and reads to her instead. end result is a very peacefully sleeping moon girl who WILL be all bright-eyed and full of thanks and praise for jalter the next day. ✨

anddd in return, jalter teaching hakuno how to draw⁉️ we both know how.../Hm/ this moon girl's art skills are (insert your edgar sighing in the bg here) and iirc jalter is skilled enough to make a doujin for that servant fes thing so 👀 AND HAKUNO HELPING HER DURING SERVANTFES TOO PERHAPS!!! ....but also dragging jalter off to enjoy summer in luluhawa from time to time and not just waste away making her doujin in that stuffy hotel room-

the man she went to when in seek of a french tutor. the man who immediately refused her when she asked him to become her french tutor. oddly enough, he started speaking more french after this request of hers —— or was it just her imagination? in any case, she'd like to impress the count with her french too.

hakuno's more of a tea person, but there's something very special about having coffee together with the count (it also makes her feel all wise and cool and mature okok). on one occasion, she asked the avenger if he knew how to do latte art and only received A Look in response (she assumed he got offended by the question.. maybe...). cut to a few days later, to a day where hakuno finds a cup of coffee with a very cute cat latte art on top conveniently placed on her bedside and made just the way she likes her coffee. it felt too cute to drink, but she ended drinking it in the end and enjoyed that cup of coffee very much. she was later scolded for consuming things without knowing where they came from tho. ("but i already knew you were the one who--" "quiet.")

dantes is a rancid possum (in da words of smol herself 🙏) who helps and protects from afar, but keeps his distance. seeing the similarities between hakuno and his past self, dantes might take it upon himself to become hakuno's protector from the shadows, but hakuno's the type to ask him to try and bring him out of those shadows and stand beside her instead (because she'd also like to be able to support and protect him okok).  

hakuno is a megane luvr so i'm sorry to say mr. kuhaha but she will be very 👁👁✨✨ at him when she's in his summer get-up. the instant he's out of it though? moon girl's back to stoic (idk how this is a hc but this just Had To Be Said)

truthfully, hakuno admires nightingale a lot. nightingale is someone who selflessly devotes herself to helping others — hakuno kishinami on the other hand, is someone who selfishly keeps on living despite taking the way the lives of people infinitely more important and meaningful (MOON GIRL'S WORDS OKOK. NOT MINE!) 

it makes me think of a Maybe mentor-mentee relationship because hakuno would very much like to learn first aid and how to patch up wounds and all from nightingale!! and pls hakuno considers herself selfish and someone who only thinks of herself but after learning basic first aid, even if she herself is all bloodied and bruised, she's always making sure others get treated and healed (maybe nightingale could help hakuno in this regard?? pointing out how her actions are totally opposite of the type of person she thinks she is---)

hakuno's not scared of the nurse, but she avoids being treated by her at all costs. it's not a nightingale exclusive thing (though she has heard of some of the berserker's more... unique treatment plans for certain patients), it's just that she sees no need for any of the important resources to be spent on something not even human. if she ever does get to a point where she can't refuse treatment from nightingale, i can imagine it to be a significant moment for hakuno 👀 hakuno doesn't hide the fact that she's an npc, but she keeps her own insecurities and issues that stem from that fact hidden. though nightingale may not be aware of the extent of those issues, i can imagine her treating hakuno like any other patient and maybe even saying some things that can unknowingly ease hakuno with some of her internal conflicts.

selflessness is a theme that i feel like would be reaaaal prominent with these two and i think it is very Interesting how they're both extremely selfless characters but packaged in a way that you wouldn't expect your typical kind and selfless characters to be 👁👁

they watch tokusatsu shows together. they both do those dramatic ass poses together. just-- GDJFHSJFJD THEY WATCH TOKUSATSU SHOWS TOGETHER!!! (hakuno vc this is canon) (arjuna sighs for the nth time that day) though on a more serious note-- it'd be Interesting if they do watch tokusatsu shows and mayhaps get into a discussion on what it means to be a hero and the like... 🤔 

BUT YES THEY SHOULD WATCH POWER RANGERS TOGETHER. movie night becomes a thing and out of the good will in her heart, hakuno gets arjuna power rangers merch-- a white mask like the power ranger's. not exactly the best gift (for anyone ever) but her comment about how "it would really elevate your hero poses" really doesn't make it any better. 

i don't know why but hear me out-- I DON'T KNOW WHY OKAY BUT i want them to suddenly get cast into a play (be it power rangers or a tokusatsu show, just any kind of play, aight!!!) – only for that the play to deviate from the storyline into absolute Madness with everyone just improvising lines and creating a crazy new story altogether... you know da trope!! idk why but arjuna strikes me as a perfectionist so he might not vibe with that but hakuno's adaptable and lowkey embraces the chaos ngl. i can imagine a hakuno going up to him after all that fiasco to ask him if he had fun or not, gives some comment on how even though the play wasn't perfect it's still special and meaningful in its own way... 

THIS ONE'S JUST RIDICULOUS NGL NGL BUT CONSIDERING THE PLENTIFUL COMMENTS SOME OF YOUR MUSES HAVE HAD ABT MOON GIRL BEING A /MOONKEH/-- hakuno needs to interact with the monkey in his travel outfit whatever it is. not sure what your junabro's (stealing tsuno wuno's yq's nickname here) stance on having pets or just animals in general is, but they can be a trio ✊ (arjuna da unwilling straightman) (arjuna da monkeh babysitter) (i proceed to get beat up by da moon girl-)

this manbitch arthur never came 2 my chaldea ^_T but i Do know that he's from a separate world? something something idrk BUT! i am eye-nyooming on the concept that they're both "outsiders" in chaldea... this is a whole can of worms for my hakuno but i'm just 👁👁 there's a unique kind of loneliness that arises from being in a world you don't belong in.... (a constant mood for this moon girl tho ahahaha-)

Big Eaters(TM), but i think they're both people who cook to feed other people rather than to feed themselves. so!! i can see hakuno asking arthur to teach her how to cook, and at the end of their first cooking lesson together, the finished product she's very proud of is given to him (hakuno vc even outside of cooking-- you're always working hard for others' sake.. but i think you need to extend that kindness to yourself too) (SHE RLLY NEEDS TO PRACTICE WHAT SHE PREACHES THO)

i think arthur's expertise lies in savory meals? and arthur is your muse but this is a really sweet concept (no pun intended) but i offer u this idea: after finding out the moon girl's sweet tooth, he starts getting more into baking as well....... IT'S JUST ODDLY SOFF 2 ME OKAY 😭

HMMMMRGHH lynnpoo has not thought much on what hakuno's thoughts on chivalry and honor and all that are but 🤔 i am thinking abt.... the bad light hakuno views herself in and how arthur is viewed by everyone as a perfect king-- only hakuno's extremely perceptive so she'd definitely be able to look past that image and she isn't me so she's not going to be 😳 over anything he does GFJSBFND THE TOPIC OF THE SELF AND SELF IMAGE IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE EXPLORED HERE THO METHINKS

idk why smolie but ever since izou made fun of her height, i just imagine these two developing a very weird very childish very dumb rivalry sort of rivalry...... VFJSHFN hakuno's typical interactions with him usually consists of that Moon Girl Snark(TM). absolutely can imagine her getting some 20cm heels just to get back at him for that height comment too.

BUT ALL THE KIDDY BANTER ASIDE- she does treat this aggressive manslayer as she does any other person (though she is well aware that he could kill her at any second, yes). she's not afraid to give criticism or praise where it's deserved and i can lowkey imagine the sincere praise and kindness she gives him being something that would leave the assassin dead silent for a moment... —— before he suddenly starts barking up a storm, saying that that he knows that already or that he doesn't need her help or whatever. (hakuno doesn't need a reason to be nice, but hey– she finds that reaction pretty amusing and may or may not want to see it more often)

they're both pretty chaotic and defiant people, but hakuno's definitely the calmer and composed one in this duo while izou is 100% the much more hot-tempered one. a tendency to be self- destructive is an isse they both have, and there's a lot they can learn from each other to be less self-destructive: izou can learn that violence isn't always the answer and instead find better ways to deal with his emotions, especially his anger; hakuno's already quite the assertive person, but she can learn to be more vocal with her own issues that she tends to keep bottled up and maybe even talk back to the insults she gets instead of silently accepting it (though she does mentally make a point to prove them otherwise).

the day hakuno bumped into the assassin's back was a very pivotal moment to her. (here are the two things came to her mind: 1. damn. assassin is shorttt. and 2. assassin's hair is... FLUFFY-WUFFY..?!) (come to think of it, he does remind her of a fluffy-wuffy pomenarian--). catch hakuno forcing izou to sit still as she brushes all the tangles out of his hair. he'd definitely refuse, but hakuno is Stubborn As Hell and insists that it's for the greater good (of his hair). mayhaps this could lead to a rare and tender moment between the pomenarian and the squirrel--

ngl the thing i remember most about your robin is-- B R E A D. therefore i greatly implore you to have them eat bread! i remember we also talked a bit abt my hakuno being lowkey 😬 because she remembers the moon cell robin that Shot Her With An Arrow and Nearly Poisoned Her To Death, so maybe this robin could sense her lowkey uneasiness... offers her bread to,, get her to not be so uneasy..?

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!! (she might refuse out of politeness a couple of times at first but honestly she'll cave in) (the way to a moon girl's heart is thru her stomach o k ay-) and it really might just be a scene taken straight out of those nature documentaries with the person getting the animal to loosen up by giving it some food-- but afterwards hakuno is very firm on saying that she'll repay him in some way and that she bears no ill will towards him !!

THOUGH RLLY THE SITUATION OF THESE TWO IS VEWY INTEWESTING.... hakuno obviously knows A Lot about robin given her interactions with the him from the moon cell, which i feel like he would be a little or a lot 🤨 given the nature of his own legend and how if he's observant enough, he can definitely pick up on her body language that would most definitely tell him that she's familiar with him to an extent. what he chooses to do though... is all his choice 🤸‍♂️

i just skimmed thru robin's wiki and for the identity section-- "treated him as an outcast" "orphan" "lived as a black sheep" HELLO??? listen i already knew abt them having the whole identity thing as a common issue which already made me very 👀👀 but this all very new info to me that i'm just 👁👁‼‼ "and though every person to adopt the robin hood persona truly values life above all else, they have little appreciations for their own"  /HELLO???/ 

[don-quixotine]

in which adrien is a science teacher and has to pay his karma by babysitting a teenager that has his exact same humor when he was 15.

Chapter 2 of Chat Noir Is My Science Teacher is up, friends :D

Ch. 2. Mr. Deep

In which Matt is baby and Adrien begins to pay his karma for being a lil shit when he was younger, with interest.

When Matthieu braced himself for the day, the last thing he expected to happen was learning that Mr. Dupain-Cheng, his science teacher, was none other than his idol, Chat Noir.

Yes, Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the dorky teacher who laughed at his own bad science puns and had a themed t-shirt for every day of the week. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the man who thought grading with “You Tried” stars and cat stickers was funny. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, who was so gullible he didn’t notice when students wanted to distract him from giving a lesson by asking him about his wife because they knew he could rant about her for hours. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the only teacher that replied with an ‘ok :)’, a meme, and the signature, ‘Sent from my cat-phone,’ when replying to a well-thought email. That Mr. Dupain-Cheng.

How could this be possible? He was so... so uncool .

Read below the cut or on AO3 by clicking the link above.

When Matthieu braced himself for the day, the last thing he expected to happen was learning that Mr. Dupain-Cheng, his science teacher, was none other than his idol, Chat Noir.

Yes, Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the dorky teacher who laughed at his own bad science puns and had a themed t-shirt for every day of the week. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the man who thought grading with “You Tried” stars and cat stickers was funny. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, who was so gullible he didn’t notice when students wanted to distract him from giving a lesson by asking him about his wife because they knew he could rant about her for hours. Mr. Dupain-Cheng, the only teacher that replied with an ‘ok :)’, a meme, and the signature, ‘Sent from my cat-phone,’ when replying to a well-thought email. That Mr. Dupain-Cheng.

How could this be possible? He was so... so uncool .

When Matt thought about who Chat Noir might be under his mask he always pictured someone bold and dashing, maybe one of those cool guys that worked in those crazy science startups. Someone brave, fearless... not a father of two who, Matt was pretty sure, screeched one time a flying cockroach somehow crawled from one of the sinks in the lab. He pictured someone like Barbara Keynes or Peter Parker.

They were witty and mysterious. Mr. Dupain-Cheng was too nice to be a superhero.

“Matt!” Timo tackled him into a hug as Matthieu and Mr. Dupain-Cheng joined the rest of the class. Ladybug had finished handing out autographs to his classmates and had already left. “Are you okay? Did you see the Akuma? It was so sick!”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Matthieu muttered, as Mr. Dupain-Cheng pointedly put as much distance between himself and Matt. He called the class’ attention to continue their museum visit.

“You’re in danger, kid.” His teacher’s words still resounded in Matthieu’s head. “For your own safety, lay low until I decide what to do with this, okay?”

He didn’t give Matt a chance to ask any questions, to say anything. He basically wanted him to ignore this, to act as if he had just found him practicing some obscure hobby outside school.

As they walked, Matt trained his eyes on the back of his teacher’s head, the blond, messy mop of hair towering over the group of teens.

“Hey, Timo?”

“Yeah?”

“Mr. Deep is, like, a nerd, right?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” Timo said, his attention more invested in his portable video game console than in the conversation. “He knows, like, all the animes.”

“That’s not cool,” said Matt.

“Of course it is,” Timo said, finally peeling his eyes off the screen. “We like that stuff.”

Timo had a point, Matthieu had to admit.

“And remember the time he helped me solder that motherboard we used for the robot competition? That was pretty cool.”

“I... suppose.”

Timo shrugged, blissfully unaware of Matt’s current crisis. “I keep telling you, man,” he said, returning to his videogame. “Mr. Deep is the coolest teacher at school.”

After the field trip, Matt went home stuck in a contemplative trance, wanting to decide what the revelation was that truly bothered him: the fact that Chat Noir’s civilian persona was absolutely nothing like what he had pictured, or that Timo was right and the reason why he disliked Mr. Dupain-Cheng was actually because he looked up to him, and that he embodied the complete opposite of everything Matt was taught to be.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense, to be honest. As any self-respecting fan, Matthieu knew Chat Noir’s career by heart. He had seen those old clips of him as a teenager, cracking witty jokes and one-liners in the middle of battle. It kind of made sense that he’d grow up to be the kind of man that was unapologetically chaotic. Besides, those memes and punny cat stickers he liked to grade with? Suddenly it seemed all so obvious. It was almost as if Mr. Dupain-Cheng was flaunting the truth in front of everyone, knowing no one would peg him as the kind of man who was a superhero. It was all in the same way no one seemed to understand how on earth such a whacky dude would end up with one of the most successful designers in Paris.

Matt suddenly shot up from the comfort of his bed as he contemplated his thoughts.

Ladybug. Weren’t Ladybug and Chat Noir a couple?

Oh my god, is Mr. Dupain-Cheng cheating on his wife with Ladybug? Or backwards? Wait... Isn’t that famous designer his wife? What’s her name, MDC? No, that’s the brand. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Wait.

Does his wife even know? Oh, no... Poor woman! Wait... what if...

Matt gasped. “She’s Ladybug. She has to be.”

He paced around his room, his thoughts going a thousand miles an hour. “I can never let Hawkmoth akumatize me ever again,” he screeched, grabbing handfuls of his hair. “Oh my god!” he shrieked. “Okay, Matt, breathe. Breathe. Just... Think. Okay. This can be good, right? This can be good.”

He kept pacing around.

“Okay, Matt. Okay. You just figured out that Mr. Deep is Chat Noir and his wife is Ladybug... Cool, it’s all cool,” he said to himself in a pitch heightened by the sheer panic that coursed through him. “It’s okay, it’s—.”

He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks as inspiration struck. He gasped excitedly and immediately got on his knees to reach under his bed.

“Of course!” he exclaimed, pulling out a small corkboard he kept hidden under the bed. The board was an indulgent little project if he did say so himself. It wasn’t related to any of his school activities, which is why he had to keep it hidden. Goodness knows what his parents would do if they found out he had been wasting time investigating who Hawkmoth might be.

This wasn’t bad, this was great!

I can help him! Matt thought excitedly. I can help him and Ladybug track Hawkmoth down!

He took a few shots of it with his phone to then ferociously kick it out of view, back under the bed again, when his mother entered his room.

“What are you doing on the floor, Matthieu?” Mrs. Magan, a middle-aged woman with stern eyes, said to him.

“I... lost a coin.”

Mrs. Magan frowned, not making much of the excuse. “Dinner is ready.”

Matthieu let out a silent sigh of relief as his mother turned around, then quickly followed after her, knowing better than to have her remind him a second time.

I can help him, he thought again excitedly. I can be his sidekick!

—-

Matthieu was not one to be late for school, but the day after discovering Mr. Deep’s identity he decided to be extra early, just to make sure he’d be able to talk to him in private. There was always the risk that he’d be late of course, but now that Matthieu knew the reason, he could hardly hold it against him.

Matt was lucky enough to spot him in the Chemistry lab when he arrived. He peeked through the small window on the door. it seemed he was grading papers.

He grinned and immediately went in, hardly being able to contain his excitement.

“Good morning, Mr. Dupain-Cheng!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, causing Adrien to jolt and knock some of the paper sheets to the ground. Matt rushed to pick them up before Adrien had the chance to do so. “So listen, I have thoughts ,” he said as he put the papers back on the desk and fumbled with his backpack to produce his phone. “I was up all night updating my Hawkmoth board, and I was thinking—I was thinking that maybe, you know this philanthropist, Lila Rossi—”

Adrien could only stare dumbfounded at how fast Matt rambled before he even caught the drift of what he was saying. Once he registered it though, he jolted once again.

“Shh!” Adrien hushed at the teen, frantically looking around himself to see if anyone was in the vicinity—even though the door was closed.

“Matthieu, what are you talking about?” he hissed.

“I wanna help you track Hawkmoth!” Matthieu piped with a bright smile, reaching into his backpack again to produce his phone. “Last night, I was thinking, ‘Hey, maybe this happened for a reason.’ I’m pretty good at this whole deduction thing, you know? I’m at the top of the class in almost all subjects and I have like, all the badges possible on the Ladyblog. Also, look, I have this board that I made about all the possible suspects because if you look at the akumatizations there’s a real pattern, and I’m thinking that whoever Hawkmoth might be, has some stuff to work through, because oh my god. Oh, like, this person he—”

“Matthieu, keep your voice down!” Adrien interrupted him. “No! I can’t let you do that. What happened yesterday was an accident, kid. Okay? It’s best if you just... If you just try to pretend like you don’t know anything while Ladybug and I decide what to do. This isn’t a game, Matt. You are in danger. If Hawkmoth ever lays hands on you, there’s no telling what might happen. Stay. Away. From. This.”

Undeterred by the ominous delivery of Mr. Dupain-Cheng’s warning, Matthieu beamed at him. “Don’t worry, Mr. Deep! I’m good at keeping secrets! I—”

“No. It is out of the question, Matthieu. This is dangerous and I—wait, what did you just call me?” Adrien said, suddenly catching the nickname.

Matthieu grew red in the face and smiled sheepishly at his teacher. “Mr. Deep... You know, ‘cause you’re always, like, going off these crazy deep tangents about the physics of akumas and stuff and—Oh my god, that makes so much sense now! Do you study them in your free time? Oh, wow! Do you and Miss Ladybug have a secret layer? Like Majestia and Knight Owl? Wait, actually, don’t answer that. Sensitive information, am I right? Oh! Also, I think Mr. Deep really fits you because you always give us this weirdly specific and deep life advice? And I don’t know how you do it but it’s always on point? Also, your name starts with a D...”

Adrien looked at the boy, shocked, and frankly a little scared that a kid could talk so much, so fast. There’s only one other person he had ever known whose mouth ran like a broken faucet if she was given the chance.

Wait , Adrien thought. Did... did he just pun with my name?

A part of him was flattered, another was surprised, a third one was slightly insulted.

The kid punned with my name. I’m his teacher !

“Matt!” he exclaimed, interrupting Matthieu’s spoken stream of consciousness. “No. This is final. Stay away from this. I don’t want to have to repeat myself. It is final.”

Again, unfazed by Adrien’s effort to act seriously, Matthieu beamed at him. “Don’t worry, Mr. Deep. I’ll prove you can trust me! I would not trust me, too, if I were you. But I’ll prove it! You’ll see.”

The bell rang, and with it came a thankful end to the conversation. At least on Adrien’s side.

“And don’t call me Mr. Deep.”

“Okay, Mr. Deep!” Matthieu said, beaming at him as he made his way out of the classroom. “Oops! I mean, Mr. DC.”

Adrien sighed, glaring at the boy and feeling some sort of karmic entity laughing at him. He knew exactly what Matt’s energetic yet jesterly energy reminded him of: a sixteen-year-old version of himself whose favorite pastime was seeing how much foolery he could get away with before Ladybug decided to murder him in cold blood.

“It’s your karma,” Plagg muttered quietly before his students began pouring into the classroom. “Kid’s your spitting image. Though I gotta say, he blabbers as much as Spots.”

“Oh, shush it!”

“You know you have to tell her soon, right?” Plagg muttered from inside Adrien’s overshirt. “The more you delay, the deeper your grave.”

“I said shush.”

The little god snickered. “Someone’s in trouble.”

Plagg was right, though. Adrien had to tell Marinette about this. It was already bad that he didn’t tell her the moment it happened. She hated it when he did that. But in his defense, he knew she had a tough day at the label and he didn’t want to freak her out. He hoped that excuse would be enough. Plagg had laughed at him when he asked for his opinion about it.

Yeah, he was in trouble.

There was no way but through, he knew this. That didn’t mean his legs could tell the difference between an honest conversation with his life partner and the visceral fear for his survival that was elicited at the image of said conversation. He felt them buckle as he casually leaned against the kitchen island, trying his best to act natural.

The kids had been put to bed and there was thankfully no Akuma in sight. At least not yet.

Marinette sighed with relief as she swiftly undid her hair and reached into the fridge for a bottle of wine. If Adrien hadn’t been so terrified by what he was about to do, he’d allow himself to swoon at her.

Witnessing Marinette shed the tiredness of the day as she swapped into comfortable clothes—usually loose shirts and yoga pants— and poured her drink of choice was one of his favorite things to watch. It didn’t matter that they had been living together for a little over seven years now, he’d never get tired of watching her exist.

“You want some?” Marinette said as she stood on her tiptoes to reach the shelf where they kept the wine glassware.

“Yeah, sure,” Adrien said, then continued speaking after thanking his wife for the wine. “You’ll never guess what happened today.”

“What?” she said, clinking her glass against his before taking the first sip.

“A kid punned with my name.”

Marinette chuckled. “Really? What did he call you?”

“Mr. Deep.”

Marinette snorted as she took another sip from the glass.

“He said it’s because I like to go on deep tangents and because my name starts with a D. Kid can’t pun to save his life.”

Marinette smirked at him. “You’re one to talk.”

He dropped his jaw. “I can’t believe you just asked me for a divorce, m’lady.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and smiled, walking past him on the way to the couch. She placed her wine glass on a small side table and pulled out a sketchbook from one of its drawers. She busied herself reviewing her work while Adrien gathered the courage to nudge the conversation in the direction it needed to go.

“M’lady?” he said from behind her.

“What did you do,” Marinette replied immediately, as she flipped through the pages of the sketchbook.

”I— why do you always assume I did something?”

Marinette turned around and mocked him, then gave him a knowing smirk. “It’s in your tone, Chaton. You can’t lie.”

“I am an excellent liar, I’ll have you know.” He stopped himself from bragging further, seeing as Marinette frowned.

“What is it, Adrien? What happened?”

Adrien’s palms were sweating with anxiety. He gulped. “First of all, I love you and you know that, right?”

“Adrien,” Marinette said, her voice hitching up her tone.

“It’s nothing bad . I mean, it’s a ‘could be worse’ sort of situation.”

“ Adrien !”

“Hypothetically speaking, imagine... what if, er... one of the wielders accidentally revealed himself to someone who, uh, someone who absolutely shouldn’t know? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Adrien, what did you DO ?” Marinette screeched.

[brakingpoint]

okay i'm still technically on hiatus but i wanted to get this out into the world now rather than coming back after like a week when the vibes have hopefully settled a lot more just to be like AND ANOTHER THING. guess i'm becoming an f1blr essayist now. insert meme about either dying a hero or living long enough to see yourself become the villain here.

i know tumblr is for a lot of us a website where we come to express our opinions on f1, and opinions can get very polarising and heated because that's the nature of following sports, especially in situations like sundays where the stakes were so high (a crash that could easily have ended a lot worse on the one hand, and a stark reminder that every misstep by black athletes is read as an open invitation for racist abuse on the other). but i think sunday's drama was a culmination of what i've been feeling for a very long time which is that the energy on this website during this championship battle has been getting - to use my Word Of The 2021 Season - absolutely fucking rancid

like i am a 24 year old adult who has been on tumblr for coming up to 9 years. on main i've had controversial popular posts, i've done months-long bouts of fandom discourse, i've had anon hate, i've seen it all. i would consider myself a generally unbothered & seasoned tumblr user at this point. and this is the first time i've ever felt so absolutely awful coming onto a website i use for fun that i've had to go on hiatus for the sake of my mental health. on a smaller scale i should not have to feel like i have to go for an hour long walk after every single race just to avoid the peak of people scrapping on here. i mean the walks are lovely i would recommend that to all of you but still

i think there's a little bit of an "if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen" attitude on here, but there's a difference between someone throwing a tantrum at a little bit of healthy debate or differing opinions & people feeling like they can't even be on this website because every time something happens in this sport people start whipping out flamethrowers in the proverbial kitchen. for the past few races i think we have been toeing the line of what constitutes healthy normal sports fan debate vs outright negativity. and considering i know i am not the only person who has felt the need to take a break from tumblr in the aftermath of this weekend (and i've seen people saying this who are lewis fans, max fans, both fans, neither fans, so this is something affecting people on all sides of this debate) i think i can safely say that line has been well and truly crossed

at the end of the day i think it's important for all of us to remember that this is a website where posts are public and the blocking functions are buggy at best. not only that but we all know how f1 trends every time a driver blinks because the liveblogging-heavy culture in this fandom means that posts come in an absolute barrage because everyone feels the need to share their opinions on absolutely everything. so a) it isn't always possible to avoid content you don't want to see and b) after a race as controversial as sunday's the sheer number and concentration of posts can very quickly make someone's entire dash an uninhabitable zone

so idk where exactly i'm going with this other than i think a lot of people really need to start thinking a bit harder about what they post & the fact that if your emotions are high after a race, it's very likely that other people's will be too. your blog isn't a closed discord where only your friends who agree with you & asked for your opinions will see them. just like. remember at the end of the day that this is a website people use for fun, not every thought you have needs to be publicly posted uncensored for clout, it is so easy to just DM your mates instead

we don't have to make f1blr a happy shiny discourse-free place where everyone holds hands and sings songs together after every grand prix. but i don't think the current state of affairs is remotely sustainable or healthy for anyone involved

[bitofthisandthat]

✖For the meme!

the salty af munday meme

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

I’m about to unleash hell, so if you’re easily pissed, I suggest you scroll on. 

In every conceivable way tumblr rp’s changed...for the worst.  I’ve been here since 2011. I’ve seen it all.

Everyone left. How I miss all my past partners...I know people move on, and drama happens, but you know what? I regret nothing. When times were good, this place was AMAZING. So much creativity and censor-free material, you were inspired daily. There were SO MANY more rp’ers and it truly felt like a real community, no matter what fandoms you were in. Plus, people were waaaaayy more eager to reach out and do stuff with you, and cross over fandoms and try any AU or thread style. People WROTE. A lot. There wasn’t a graphic arts contest every 2 weeks, people wrote amazing paras and world built, and we all got SO involved in each other’s threads. I saw way more literacy and way less one-liners. People had their boundaries, and yes there was jealousy abounds, but trust me, the good outweighed the bad. It was way more common to see Lord of the Rings writing with Greek mythos people and Disney writing with anime. And yes, SPN/Dr. Who writing with cartoon characters. I miss all my GoT, Xena, DC, Avatar, and Mythos peeps. I was here for “Rise of the Brave Tangled Guardians” and Monster High. My Eris had so many verses, it was insane. So I remember how people were way more friendly and open and crazy creative with writing. People wanted to explore everything together, and no one was all: “Excuse me you can’t sit with us because we only rp with people that follow our fanon exactly *fartfartfart*” 

No one even heard of dni/trigger lists and everyone played whatever/shipped they wanted. Yes people had preferences, and yes, there were ship wars, but nothing like now. You could still rp with people and not sit through some malcontent’s manifestos on how “I hate that ship so much anyone that ships it is problematic”. If something pissed you off, you just stayed the hell away from it and just vented with your friends off the dashboard. Now, everyone is scared shit-less of offending everyone else, so they don’t do anything--or they’re too private. I get being selective, because I am now, But LORD so many rp’ers now are so closed off and have 1000 triggers and reasons why they don’t want anyone to look at them, it amazes me they have the gall to wonder why no one rp’s with them. GEE I WONDER WHY. Pull the stick out.

I’m not saying creeps and gross people shouldn’t be avoided, and that they didn’t exist---they did. We all have to cultivate our own experiences, but 90% of tumblr takes it way too far. When there’s a TON of rp’ers, you can block anyone and not feel a loss. But now there’s so few of us left, the fact people have so many hang-ups and chase everyone off, is counterintuitive. I guess all the smart people left because they were tired of being censored, hated on, and told they should fuck off for not rp’ing things as politically correct as possible. But now we have an under-population of rp’ers problem, which leads to paranoia, which leads to people being MORE desperate for interaction, which leads to them being rude--when normally they wouldn’t be rude if the community was bigger.

UGH...Politics. Politics are everywhere now. You politically obsessed people chased off the bulk of tumblr rp and artists, NOT the p0rnban. Infusing your personal politics and views into every aspect of a character you’re playing PLUS filling your mun bio with your “platforms” is what killed creativity. Calling people rac.sit or pho.bi.c for every little disagreement is childish and 99% of the time unwarranted and incorrect. Take that shit outside and get it OFF rp. Gee. I wonder why no one feels motivated to write anymore? Who feels motivated to do anything creative if they’re paralyzed with concern that anything they publish on the dash is going to get them anon hate or lose followers and ship mates? You may think you’re cool with “whatever” but that is an ever-present parasite on this site, infecting everyone’s creativity, and we all know it. It’s EXAUSTING thinking in the back of your mind: “shit, if I publish this I may lose my favorite partner.” Even if you’ve written a lot with them, and yes, I’ve lost long term partners over bullshit. So it’s subliminal, even if you think you’re tough and “don’t give a fuck.” Because I don’t give a fuck and believe it or not, I battle how I’m doing things on this blog all the time because so many people now are so petty and unforgiving.

So I guess...I’m not apologizing. This place is composed of too many narcissists that yell fire! in a crowded room if you so much as look at them cross-eyed. Which...prompts them to write call outs about something you may or may not have done in 2016, even if it’s 2021.

Also? You used to be able to ship f/f and m/f without harassment and the cavalry coming into ship sink and slander you behind your back for daring to write women getting love/attention instead of just boys. mm/ff/mf TRULY coexisted. Unlike now, where everyone SAYS they’re for women being treated like “queens” but are hypocritically squicked by females getting off. No one was threatened by anyone’s ship styles, and if someone said they wrote a bi, w/w, or pan character? They truly wrote a bi, w/w, or pan character, not just as a foot note in the character’s bio to get attention.

A lot more has changed and I could rant all day, but these are the main points on my mind at any given moment.

[jamielea81]

When We Were Young

Chapter 6

Description: Leaving the only home your daughter had ever known wasn’t part of the grand plan. But then again, sometimes taking chances can change your whole life. And you should know that, you’ve been doing that since the start.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Cursing maybe. Over use of the word goodnight. Fluff. Alcohol consumption.

Word Count: 3,926

A/N:  I’m sorry this took so long! I’ve been battling major writer’s block. This chapter is a little long than the normal word count I post with this series, so I hope you all enjoy. As always, this is strictly for fun and I mean no harm to this actor. Please let me know your thoughts as I love to read them. Likes and reblogs give me life.

*Italics are internal thoughts*

Catch up with Chapter 5

**

“Great job, Carmen!” you yelled then immediately cringed at the volume of your voice.

In your defense, a bowling alley on a Saturday afternoon was not a quiet place. All lanes were in use and frankly it was hard to hear yourself think. Carmen gave you a friendly wave before taking a seat next to Ellie.

You were supervising six fifteen and sixteen-year-old kids as part of Ellie’s sixteenth birthday. This was technically celebration two of three. Being that her actual birthday was on a school night, just the two of you went out for crab legs and root beer floats. Her pick which you were perfectly fine with being that you loved seafood. Root beer floats were an afterthought as the two of you window shopped down the busy street from the restaurant. Cookies strategically placed in a window display drew you in, but ice cream sounded better. When Ellie ordered a float, you followed suit. This afternoon she wanted to go bowling with her friends followed by pizza at your place. It had taken a good hour picking up the five other kids in your trusty Cherokee, but you didn’t mind.

“Mom, are you sure you don’t want to play?”

“Nah. You kids have fun.” You stood, reaching for your purse resting on the empty seat next to you and looped it on your shoulder. “Do you guys want something to drink? I can grab a pitcher of Coke or Sprite.”

“Could we get both? Please mom,” Ellie asked.

“You got it,” you said with a smile before turning away.

They were old enough to bowl by themselves, so you really just wanted to give them some space. None of her group of friends drove yet, so rather than having everyone get dropped off, you volunteered to pick up. Ellie insisted that you stay rather than driving home just to turn around to come get them. According to Ellie, you had been dubbed the “cool” mom. You weren’t quite sure what you did to deserve that title. Sure, you were always willing to drive one of her friends home and you always had snacks at your house, but none of that made you feel cool.

Most of the kids you knew except for Aaron. You heard Ellie mention his name a time or two and heard her on the phone with Carmen mentioning his name again. Your sneaking suspicion was that she had a crush on him. He was a polite kid that was a bit on the tall side and a little lanky. Ellie had never approached the subject of dating with you, but if she wanted to do it in a group setting, you were more than fine with that. She was sixteen now, so even if she wanted to do a non-group date, you probably wouldn’t fight her on it.

As odd and surreal as it was, Chris was currently at your house setting up the bonus room for Ellie. You had caved and decided to make the first floor of your row home a bonus space for her. When you discussed it with Chris, he had asked to split the cost with you. It threw you for a minute, but he argued that he wanted to give her something for her birthday and didn’t know what to buy her. He threatened to buy her a car when you initially told him no, so you agreed to split the cost of the room. Chris had recently purchased a new couch for his home, so he was giving you his old one. The large space was also getting a table and four chairs for school work and craft projects with friends. A flat screen tv was being mounted to the wall and a couple of bean bag chairs were being added to the space. You’d let Ellie pick out some knickknacks and framed art to finish out the space the next time you two went shopping.

Things had gotten better after your heated conversation with Chris. He felt bad and the poor guy wore his heart of his sleeve. He was beyond sweet and timid with you the two times he was over at your place after that day. You actual had to pull him into the kitchen with you and tell him to knock it off. You were fine. The two of you were fine. Families could be difficult and you knew that from experience. It was over as far as you were concerned and you just wanted to move forward. Chris had started to reach out to you more by texting every few days to see how you were or send you a meme or two. It was nice. You couldn’t argue with that.

**

Chris had made himself scarce by the time you brought the kids back to your place. Only Chris’ family and Gwen knew about your family situation so he couldn’t just be hanging at your house when you arrived home with a group of teenagers.

“Oh, my goodness! Mom! This is amazing!” Ellie exclaimed once she stepped through the door. “How?” she asked, throwing her arms around your middle.

“Happy birthday baby girl,” you whispered into her hair. “Chris and I did it.”

She pulled her face back, wide eyed. “Chris did this too?” she whispered.

You nodded your head yes. “It’s our birthday gift to you. We’ll go shopping next week so you can decorate the space a bit. Sound good?”

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she cheered pulling from your embrace and stepping into the room.

“I’ll order the pizzas,” you shouted as you walked up the stairs.

You sent Chris a quick text letting him know that Ellington loved her new hangout spot and was currently entertaining her friends in there.

Chris: Glad to hear that sweetheart

Whoa. That’s new.

You hummed to yourself before quickly exciting your text thread to order pizza. Once that was taken care of, you poured yourself a glass of wine and waited for the pizzas to arrive. Gwen had sent you a string of texts confirming that she had her flight booked for her trip in July. She was staying with you for a week and wanted to do all the touristy stuff. That was fine with you because you hadn’t gotten around to doing that yourself.

Your phone rang and you quickly clicked the accept button without paying much attention.

“Dude, yes, we’ll do the freaking tea party thing.”

You heard a chuckle that most certainly did not come from Gwen’s mouth.

“When do you want to do the tea party thing?”

It was Chris. Of course, it wouldn’t be the friend that had been non stop texting you for the last twenty minutes.

“H-hey! H-hi Chris,” you said, promptly clearing your throat. “What’s up?”

He chuckled again. “I’m trying to figure out what tea party you’re talking about.”

“Oh! Oh, I was just making plans with my best friend for when she comes to visit in July. I thought you were her calling.”

“Well, that still doesn’t answer my question. A tea party?”

“You know. The famous one. She wants to see all the Boston things.”

He chuckled again and if you were being honest, you really liked the sound of that.

“Ahhh. That one. Of course,” he said and you could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah,” you drawled out. “So, what’s up?”

“I was just calling to ask that you call me when the kids are gone for the night.”

Your heart rate picked up. You could feel it thumping wildly in your chest.

“Call you?”

“Yeah,” he answered lamely. “I want to help clean up.”

Oh. That.

“Plus, I still have your spare key, so I want to return that,” he added.

“Ye-yeah. Sure. You don’t have to clean up though. It’s just pizza and cupcakes.”

“We’ll see...Give me a call or shoot me a text and I’ll stop by.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later then,” you said softly

“Bye Y/N.”

“Bye Chris.”

**

Ellington was gone for the night as she was sleeping over at Carmen’s house. The other kids had been picked up by another parent shortly before. The house was in relatively good shape considering you had six teenagers over for the better part of four hours. You had failed to pick up paper plates and cups, so you had dishes to do in addition to a table that needed to be wiped down as well as a floor to be swept. Chris was on his way over and he made it abundantly clear that you were not to start cleanup and until he got there. He was really trying to do his part as a parent. Or whatever he was. It was still too new and your mind hadn’t fully figured it out yet.

Not wanting to smell the pizza any longer, you took the three boxes outside and stuck them in the trash can just as Chris’ headlights hit you. Rather than dashing inside and looking like a weirdo, you stayed put and waited for him to exit his SUV.

“You don’t listen, do you?” he said, warning tone in his voice as he reached you.

“I couldn’t take the pizza smell anymore. I’m pizzaed out.”

“Likely story,” he teased. “And pizza? Thought she wasn’t a fan of cheese.”

“Only in some circumstances. Unique kid, remember?”

Chris hummed at that, following you into the house. “What’s the damage?”

“Surprisingly not bad. I think the older they get, the less of a mess they make,” you answered, as the two of you surveyed the room. “Plus, I think the fact that there were only two boys-”

“There were boys here?” Chris asked, cutting you off.

“Yes, Christopher. Ellie has boys who are friends. Although, I do think she likes one a little more than a friend.”

“Isn’t she a little young for that?” he asked.

“She’s sixteen! I’m surprised she hasn’t had a boyfriend that I at least know of, sooner,” you replied, carrying the six plates up the stairs to the kitchen. Chris was behind you, with the glasses stacked into two piles.

“Yeah, but, still.”

You chuckled at his response shaking your head.

**

Chris was currently lounging on your couch with a beer in his hand. You rarely drank it, but with him over at least once a week, you started to pick up a six pack every other week to have some on hand. Wine was more of your forte, although you weren’t particular about it. Ten dollar bottle, thirty dollar bottle, it was all the same to you.

“How old were you when you first had a boyfriend?”

“Hmm. That’s tough. I mean when I was a kid, like ten or eleven, I had what I thought was a boyfriend at the time, but of course that was like for a day or two and then you forget about that kid,” you laughed softly. “But dating was different for me. My parents had very particular standards, so I really only dated the sons of my parents’ friends. Kind of arranged courtships if you will. Even though I had a couple of boyfriends in high school, it wasn’t all that exciting or great for me. I dated in college, but nothing terribly serious. But I would consider those real boyfriends because they were with guys I wanted to be with.”

“Your family is pretty uptight?”

“Oh yeah. Getting pregnant wasn’t really in their life plans for me.”

Chris offered you a soft smile. “You went all Girls Gone Wild in college then?”

You ducked your head and covered your mouth as you snorted a laugh. “Hardly. I may have had my independence, but I didn’t go crazy. I was just able to be me for once.”

He nodded his head. You noticed his cheeks were bright red.

God, he’s good looking.

“Sorry!” he chuckled out. “Well, I’m glad you were able to find yourself in school.”

Each of you took a drink, you from your wine glass and Chris from his bottle of beer. It was quiet, but it wasn’t awkward. The comfortable silence was welcoming.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, of course,” Chris replied.

“What made you donate sperm?”

Now it was your turn for your face to heat up. You honestly just wanted to know, but damn if it wasn’t a weird question to ask someone.

Chris chuckled and shook his head. “Money,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “I was eighteen and interning in the city. Needless to say, I was making next to nothing,” he sighed. “A buddy of mine had done it a few times and talked up the cash he was making.’

“Understandable,” you said.

“I only did it once. I was scared to death my mom would find out, so it only ended up being a one and done for me.”

You gave him a soft smile. “Well, thank you for doing so,” you said, lifting your glass in salute. “It brought me Ellington.” Chris’ eyes went soft and he raised his glass to you.

After a moment you chuckled and Chris perked up.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just,” you giggled again. “Your file said you were a pediatrician who acted in theater for fun.”

“I swear I never said that. I wouldn’t do that.” His plea was a bit panicked but sounded sincere.

“I believe you! I’m sure they beef up those files. Ellie is perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“She is. We can agree to that.”

**

“El! Did you borrow my earrings again? The white gold hoops?” you yelled from your bedroom.

Tonight, was Ellie’s third and final birthday celebration, but this time it was just going to be her and Chris. He was over at your place making Ellie chicken enchiladas per her request and you were finally having a much-needed night out with your co-workers that you now considered friends. This was the first time the two of them were spending time together without you there. This was also the first time you were having an adults’ since you moved to Boston months ago. It was fine. You were fine. You weren’t freaking out at all.

Ellie came running into your room. “Sorry!” she said dropping the hoops in your open hand.

You pecked her on the cheek. “No problem.”

“You look great mom.”

“Thanks, baby.” You ran your fingers through your hair and took a deep breath to calm your nerves. “How’s Chris doing out there. Hasn’t burned down the kitchen yet, I hope.”

She giggled and shook her head no. “He says he’s a great cook. I’ll let you know.”

“You better.”

Amy, your manager was picking you up in fifteen minutes. A group of ten or so were meeting at a restaurant that had live music on Fridays and tonight was a nineteen eighties tribute band. The plans were dinner, drinks, and dancing. You weren’t sure on the dancing, but you weren’t about to poopoo that plan to your manager. She had become a close friend over the last few weeks, she didn’t need to know that you did not dance. You weren’t bad per se, you just weren’t all that coordinated. Get a few drinks in you, and you were pretty out of control on the dance floor.

“You don’t think I’m overdressed?” you asked.

“No, this looks really good.”

The restaurant was a little on the nicer side. So, even though you were there mainly for the music, you didn’t think jeans were the way to go. Looking in the mirror attached to your closet door, you pulled down on the waist, making the red wrap dress reach your knees. The fabric had a tendency to bunch up, making it hit a couple of inches above your knees. You liked your legs, but your conservative upbringing never really left you completely.

“Any boys going to be there tonight?” Ellie asked, wiggling her eyebrows?

“Boys? Ellington…really?”

She chuckled softly. “Just asking.”

“Yes, there will be men there. It’s a work thing and I work with some men. Plus, it’s a restaurant, so there’s bound to be a few more.”

You started to walk from your room to the living room, shoes in hand.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

You turned around surprising her as she jumped back a step. “Hey! Who’s the mother and who’s the daughter?” A fake scowl on your face which Ellie easily picked a part as she started laughing, throwing her head back.

“What are you two ladies going on about?” Chris said, stepping out of the kitchen with his hands on his waist. His eyes met yours and his mouth parted. “Wow,” he said softly.

You bit your bottom lip and turned back toward the couch taking a seat so you slip on your shoes.

“I was just teasing mom about her night out.” Ellie said, not catching on to the tension in the room.

Chris nodded but kept his eyes on you. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” you said with a soft smile.

“Are you getting ready to head out?” he asked.

“Yep. My ride should be here in a few.”

“Good,” he nodded his head. “Dinner’s about ready. Want to set the table for me El?”

“On it,” she said, moving into the kitchen passing by Chris and giving him a slight hip check.

“Smells good. Hopefully it tastes as good as it smells.”

“Funny. I’ll have you know, my ma taught me to cook and I do just fine thank you.”

“Ellie will be the judge of that,” you replied, standing up now that your shoes were securely in place.

“I guess so,” he grinned.

Your phone chimed, so you quickly dug it out of your purse.

“That would be my ride,” you said to Chris who nodded before turning back to the kitchen.

“Ellie, Amy’s here. I’m heading out. Call me if you need anything.”

Ellie jogged out of the dinning room through the kitchen. “We’ll be fine. Have fun. Meet boys,” she said wrapping her arms around your waist.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

**

You couldn’t get the damn key to work. It was your third attempt, missing the lock all together on your first two tries. Amy’s car was still parked in front your house running with the lights on.

“Need help there girlie?” she called through the open window.

You laughed louder than you meant to. Drinking two more drinks than necessary was really getting to you.

“I got it! I got it!” you yelled back. The key was in the slot, all you need to do was turn it and you were home free so to speak. “Go home! Love y-”

The door opened causing you to fall forward but before you could hit the ground, strong arms caught you by the biceps.

“Whoa,” you whispered.

“You okay there, Y/N?” Chris chuckled helping you to stand on two feet.

“I’m-I’m fine. Thanks for catching me.”

“You good?” Amy called out.

You stepped back out the door and away from Chris’ arms, blowing her a kiss. “All good!”

Amy waved and drove off down the road. Turning back to your door, you stepped inside walking around Chris who closed the door behind you.

You had a permanent smile on your face, mostly due to the alcohol but partly due to the night. You had honest to goodness fun and it had been awhile. Your co-workers were a hoot. The food was good and the drinks were great. The band was high energy and talented. Half way through the set, you were forced out on the dance floor by some of your new friends and you actually had fun. Everyone was dancing too close for you to be too uncoordinated, so your secret was still safe.

“You didn’t have to stick around,” you said climbing the stairs.

Chris jogged up the stairs to catch up to you. “I know, but I wanted to clean up and didn’t want to leave Ellie home alone. She’s in bed already. Aaron called,” he said, giving you a look.

“Ah, Aaron. The boyfriend not boyfriend.”

“Yeah. Whatever that’s about.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “He’s a nice boy.”

“I don’t trust sixteen year old boys,” he said, leaning against the island and crossing his arms.

You smiled at him before reaching into the fridge to grab a bottle of water. You lifted it and waved it but Chris shook his head no.

“Not that quiet and studious boys can’t be punks, but I just didn’t get that impression of him. Besides, Ellie is a smart girl and we’ve had the sex talk.” The last bit was said in a hushed voice.

Chris raised his eyebrows, a small grin playing on his lips. “I didn’t quite hear that.”

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the word sex, but suddenly you were beyond flustered.

“The talk. You know. Not the birds and the bees, but birth control and waiting until you find the right partner,” you said. “Sex,” you whispered.

Chris threw his head back and laughed loudly. “I love that you feel the need to whisper the word sex.”

You shrugged your shoulders and lifted the bottle to your mouth taking a long drink. When he didn’t look away, you just kept on drinking, refusing to continue this side discussion.

He finally chuckled and looked down. “Did you have fun tonight?”

You set the bottle on the counter behind you and pulled that smile back on your lips. “The best time. It was hard moving away from friends. It’s nice to have friends here now.”

“Good. I’m glad sweetheart.”

There was that word again. You belly flipped and you had to grip the counter behind you to stay on your feet.

“I’m going to take off. I’ll call you.”

“Ye-yeah. Sounds good Chris,” you replied.

He started his decent down the stairs and you took a moment to yourself before you followed. Chris was slipping on his boots when you made it to the first level.

“Drive safe.”

“I will,” he replied softly but made no move to leave.  

The two of you stood motionless, soft smiles on your face. It almost felt like a game about who would look away first.

“Well.”

“Yeah,” you replied.

Chris chuckled and pulled you in a hug. It was unexpected as the two of you hadn’t hugged before.

“Oh.”

“Have a goodnight sweetheart,” he said into your hair.

You started to pull back, but his arms were still around you. “You too. I mean, you have a goodnight too.”

He smiled brightly at you, nodding his head slightly. It’s then when you lost your mind. Leaning in, you brushed your lips against his. You quickly dropped your arms forcing him to do the same. Your brain was at a loss as to what to do next. Chris’ eyes were wide but he still had a soft smile on his lips. When neither of you moved to take a step back, you decided to end the night before you made it anymore uncomfortable or tried to kiss him again.

“Okay, goodnight,” you said.

“Goodnight?”

“Yeah, goodnight Chris.”

“Okay.”

He opened the door, took a step outside and turned back to face you. “Night.”

“Night,” you replied.

You shut the door and flicked the deadbolt. Pressing your back against the door, you closed your eyes and took in a few calming breathes.

I kissed Chris. What was I thinking?!

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[touchstarvedsam]

So.... what are your thoughts on spn 11X17 "Red Meat"? 😉

An anon after my own heart! Brace yourselves, it’s a long one, sorry.

Red Meat is my comfort episode. I watch it when I’m feeling down, or when I need an escape. Sometimes I forget that Andrew Dabb is one of the writers because the episode is so brother -- and Sam in general -- positive. It’s definitely one of my favorite episodes, one that I will never get over. It’s one of those episodes that if I see anything about it on my dash, it’s an immediate reblog.

So, let’s recap, highlights mostly, yes?

The episode literally starts out mid-battle, which is cool on its own, but Sam is so incredibly badass. His high kick, and then headbutting the werewolf, just-- GAH. I can never get enough of badass Sam Winchester, okay?

Sam gets shot within two minutes, and if any of you know me, you know that hurt!Sam or Sam whump of any kind is my motherfucking jam. He’s my favorite character, whom I’ve loved for half of my life, and any time he’s in anguish it brings me life. Not because I enjoy seeing him hurt, but because I love when Dean worries about him.

Dean kills the werewolf that shot Sam before Sam even hit the ground, then he was at Sam’s side and digging the bullet out. Dean worrying about Sam literally feels like my life force repleting.

I also love how the scenes are played out of order. I like the aspect of that. Flashing back to Sam telling Dean about the case and Dean being reluctant. Their roles really revered, huh? It used to be Sam saying they should continue with hunting down the big bad and not going on random hunts, now Sam wants to keep on saving people on those random hunts, to keep them busy when they’re stumped on how to beat the current big bad.

In the second cabin, Corbin suggests they keep going “those of us who can” and Dean whirls on him so fast with the “what’d you say?”

Pure, unadulterated, protective big brother. The you suggest we leave my brother, I’ll fucking kill you big brother look. The I know over a hundred ways to kill a man big brother look. The no one fucks with Sammy big brother look.

Dean shoves Corbin, then, ever the selfless man Sam Winchester is, Sam suggests they leave him, get Corbin and Michelle to safety, and then Dean can come back for him. Dean’s reaction, again, is pure big brother and I love it so much. He wants to carry Sammy. My whole heart. T.T

Dean fighting with branches sticking off a tree trunk, angrily hitting the tree, then stopping for a moment to breathe and calm himself because he knows losing it won’t help Sam.

Calming himself down before he gets back to the cabin. T.T

Sam -- dying, short of breath, wheezing -- begs Corbin to go find Dean so they can leave without him. Sam has never once put himself before others, even now when he should because of how hurt he is, and how much blood he is losing, and still he doesn’t. There isn’t a single character in this show more selfless than Sam, and this episode proved that.

Corbin suffocating Sam, and then Dean walking in to find Sam completely lifeless. I cry every fucking time Dean starts shaking Sam. (Not gonna lie, it gives me Simba trying to wake Mufasa vibes, and that hurts really bad, too, man.) Just, the look on Dean’s face. The heartbreak, the tears...

The way he says “Sammy?” broken, shattered.

Dean making the decision to stay and die fight since it’s because of the werewolves that he lost his little brother. This man literally cannot and will not live without his brother. It’s ingrained in his system, engraved on his bones and in his skin, that he never wants to be in a world where Sam is no longer alive. He can’t physically or emotionally endure that pain.

This is the face of a man who has given up, who doesn’t want to live because Sam isn’t, but right here, I think at the very last moment, Dean remembers that Sam would want him to save these people. So he makes his decision.

“I’m gonna come back for you, okay?” He gives Sam this broken, quarter smile, then says, “I promise.” Then the shaky way he repeats “okay” two more times, then pats Sam on the chest and gets up fucking shatters me in a million pieces.

His last look at Sam before leaving him... with the tears! It literally makes me tear up. This whole episode is just chock full of painful pining.

Dean punches a sheriff! I still don’t understand why he didn’t just say “my brother’s body is in a cabin in the middle of the woods and I need to get back to him” but this is Dean, and Winchesters never really do anything the easy way. I do enjoy him angrily punching a sheriff because he wants to get back to Sammy, though. It’s a highlight, okay.

Then! As if this episode didn’t already give us the gift of badass!Sam and hurt!Sam and pining!Dean! It gives us the ultimate proof that Sam is the Juliet to Dean’s Romeo! It’s canon! Canon, I say! Canon! Dean kills himself with pills to talk to Billie -- to make a deal, to sacrifice himself, anything to bring Sam back -- and roundabout the exact same time, Sam wakes up!

Dean: “Tell the doc to bring me back if she can... if not, no hard feelings.” Dean literally does not care if he lives or dies! He just wants Sam! Be still, my heart. The man pines for his little brother, and his little brother alone.

The whole exchange with Billie:

“We need to talk about Sam.”

“What about Sam?”

“I need him back.”

“Back?”

“Stop playing. Look, you got him, I need him, let’s make a deal.”

“Pass.”

Then we have Dean saying that Sam’s the only one that can stop the Darkness. It just. It feels so good to hear Dean say that, okay. Sam being recognized in any light is just very important to me.

“It’s cute, though, you pretending to save Sam for the greater good when we both know you’re doing it for you. You can’t lose him.” That’s it, that’s the whole show.

“I’m asking you... I’m begging you, please. Bring him back... Bring him back and take me instead.” I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over codependent brothers.

Then! Such glorious, such beautiful, such badass hurt!Sam! Gets himself on his feet and takes on not one, but two werewolves! With all the blood he’s lost, and the immense pain he’s in, he literally fights for his life and wins! There is not a more badass character on the planet, and I would give my life to protect that truth as gospel.

He steals their pickup, gets to the Impala, and calls Dean who literally just heard from Billie that Sam wasn’t dead. Also, can I just say that I really do like Billie? She is cool as all fuck.

Sam practically falling out of the truck is one of my favorite things. His legs move like a newborn fawn as he stumbles over towards the Impala, towards safety and Dean.

The unadulterated relief on Dean’s face when he hears Sam’s voice. God, I love these brothers so fucking much. They love each other so fucking much. I can’t believe Dabb wrote an entire Wincest episode, wow. Such a goddamn gift.

Then the panic on Dean’s face once again when he loses signal with Sam. And honestly the way Sam can even see straight and drive himself to the urgent care is phenomenal in and of itself. Is there anything this man cannot do? I think not!

The Sam saves Dean, shooting Corbin before finally giving in to the pain and collapsing. I will forever love the way he falls to the ground, the way his legs just kind of give out and he just hits the floor is amazing to me. I wish I could make gifs because I’d fucking gif the way he falls. It’s both graceless and graceful at the same time, if that makes any sense.

 “I watched the man I love die... there’s no normal after that.” Dean feels her words more than anyone else, apart from Sam. Because he’s seen Sam die multiple times, and even though Sam is alive, Dean’s still not normal, he’s still not fixed. He gets that. He knows that a part of him will always be broken just because he’s watched Sam die, more than once. He’s never, ever going to be over losing Sam, even when Sam’s standing right beside him. Not to make light of the situation, but this made me think of the “Stop telling everyone I'm dead!” “I can still hear his voice” meme.

Dean helping Sam down the stairs with a hand on his back brings me the utmost joy. If I could gif, I’d make a gif of that, too.

Sam asking what Dean did when he thought Sam was dead, and giving him this ridiculously adorable squinty face!:

His little “I know you did something stupid because you’re making jokes” squint. Always sees right through his big brother.

I’m sorry for the lack of Sam caps. This episode was literally gigantic amounts of pining!Dean. He literally just wanted to be with Sam the entire episode, and Dean’s emotional anguish because he lost Sammy is such an important part of the episode. So many brother moments without the brothers being near each other. I will love this episode until the day I die and even then I will carry it with me into the afterlife to play on repeat forever and ever.

Thanks for the ask, anon! And sorry my post is so long. Red Meat is just really fucking important to me.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Akali, the Rogue Assassin build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jessica “OwleyCat” Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games)

(Shit meme by yours truly.)

I mean honestly it’s about time I go around to this. With the year nearing its end (thank fuck) here’s a build I had planned pretty much since the Soulknife subclass was shown. Yeah spoilers I guess Akali’s a Soulknife Rogue because she throws a shit load of knives. No she isn’t an assassin, despite the name of “Rogue Assassin.”

GOALS

You can never have too many kunai - We need a hell a lotta kunai and shurikens to throw at our enemies. Remember that part where I said “Akali’s a Soulknife Rogue?”

Smoked 'em - We’ll need to be able to turn invisible and stay invisible while still being able to hit our foes.

Quick and deadly - You’re quick and deadly like a ninja, with dashes over and around just about everything and swift executions. Almost like you are a ninja.

RACE

Akali is a human, no matter how much training in stealth, spirits, and singing she has. She is however from the magic land of Ionia filled with magic people, and since she probably got some spiritual training from Shen I figured that’s good enough justification for me to grab a Dragonmark! A Mark of Passage Human gets a +2 to Dexterity and a +1 to another ability score: we’ll go for Charisma for K-Pop stans. You can also learn a language of your choice and Sylvan makes sense to speak to the spirits.

You have a Courier's Speed for +5 feet of movement and can add a d4 to Acrobatics or motorcycle land vehicle checks thanks to Intuitive Motion. But the main feature of note is Magical Passage for Misty Step in your pocket once per Long Rest. You know me: gotta have Flash available.

If Dragonmarks aren’t an option: Variant Human with +1 to DEX and +1 to CHA is good enough. Take the Mobile feat at level 1 instead of later in the build, and perhaps invest in Fey Touched or something when the time comes for that feat I don’t know.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You run and jump around and throw a lot of knives. Almost like a ninja.

14; CONSTITUTION - Be it Gunblade or Riftmaker, Akali is deceptively survivable. That and even ability scores are nice.

13; CHARISMA - Charisma is tied to performance for Korean raps in whatever band you joined this time. Look I’m not saying I want Akali in Pentakill but...

12; WISDOM - Shen tries to teach you a lot of Wisdom and I’m sure at least some of it got through to you.

10; STRENGTH - ‘Kali got abs. Being a ninja requires 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and a 10 kilometer run every single day.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Ninjas don’t normally have a good math and science program. The answer to how many kunai you brought is “yes.”

BACKGROUND

While you may have once been part of the Kinkou Order you have since decided to go rogue. When you’re part of a ninja organization killing people is cool, but if you do it on your own you’re just a Criminal. You get proficiency in Stealth but I’m going to suggest replacing your Deception proficiency with Arcana for some teachings thanks to Master Shen. You also get proficiency in Thieves’ Tools (though if you want to min-max I’d perhaps swap this out for something out) but I’m going to suggest replacing your gaming set with a Disguise Kit, because my lord Akali has a lot of skins.

Be it your old connections from the Kinkou Order or a new informant for assassination contracts you have a Criminal Contact that can easily supply info, and who you always have a direct line to. They send the target, you get the kill.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee, Pan Chengwei, and Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Artwork made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

wOw ThE cHaRaCtEr WiTh “RoGuE” iN tHeIr NaMe Is A RoGuE?!?! Blatantly obvious information aside Rogues get proficiency in four different skills! Take proficiency in Acrobatics for ninja stuff, Perception for warding, Intimidation to scare little Noxian kids (hey ninjas are scary!), and Performance for Korean raps.

You also get Expertise in two of those skills: naturally you need Stealth to be a ninja and Performance to be K-Pop artist, so take expertise in both of those. You also know the secret code language of Thieves’ Cant, which only other ninjas (or just regular old Rogues) know.

But of course you can’t be a ninja without knowing how to Sneak Attack. If you attack an enemy that’s distracted by an ally or have advantage to hit a weak point, you do an extra d6 of damage. Don’t worry: your assassination potential only gets better with time.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action for some ninja speed. You can now spend a Bonus Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Yeah spoilers I guess Akali’s a Soulknife Rogue because she throws a shit load of knives. No she isn’t an assassin, despite the name of “Rogue Assassin.”

3rd level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype and Akali is a Soulknife because it turns out psionics is the fastest way to get a shit load of throwing knives thanks to Psychic Blades. When you take the Attack action you can make a psychic knife in your hand that does a d6 of Psychic damage, and you can either use it to stab in melee range or throw it up to 60 feet.

If you attack with the blade you can make a smaller blade to attack with as a bonus action. The damage die of this bonus attack is 1d4 (instead of a d6) but other than that it pretty much works the same. The Psychic Blades vanish immediately after hitting or missing, and they leave no mark on their target, which is just a nice little bit of ninja flavor.

You also have innate Psionic Power which... takes a bit more to explain that “funny psychic throwing knife.” You have Psionic Energy die equal to twice your proficiency bonus, and you can use them on the following abilities:

Psi-Bolstered Knack lets you boost your skill checks with legally-not-Bardic Inspiration, as long as you’re proficient in the skill.

Psychic Whispers lets you coordinate in team chat and set up ganks.

I’m not going to go too deep into these abilities because they’re listed in the subclass and if you don’t know what the subclass does buy Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything and read it yourself. “See? Balance.” And speaking of balance your Sneak Attack damage now increases to 2d6!

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

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4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement but because it’s the 4th level in a Rogue build we’ll instead be taking the Mobile feat. Along with a 10 foot increase to your movement speed you can also cross over difficult terrain (cough walls cough) without spending extra movement if you Dash. But most importantly if you attack an enemy in melee range you can run away from them without provoking an attack of opportunity, even if you miss!

Yup XP to Level 3′s meme explains it better than I can. Sneak attack and run away: keep to the shadows and never stand still.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 1

What? Did you think that we’d be going for pure Rogue levels? Ha ha Warlock levels go brrrrr. Regardless a connection to the Spirit Realm manifests as powers of the Archfey, such as Fey Presence to Charm or Frighten anyone within a 10 foot cube with an epic rap battle.

And you also get Pact Magic, which comes back on a Short Rest! You get two cantrips at first level: For a Shuriken that inflicts Deep Wounds on those who idolize Eldritch Blast take Chill Touch, because a ninja should always have the right tool for the job. For some ninja trickery grab Minor Illusion to manipulate the shadows to your whim.

For your leveled spells Hex will cripple your foes to make it harder for them to run while also making your strikes deadlier, and uhhh... that’s about it, really? I mean, Sleep from the Archfey list is pretty nice for a sleep bomb but you really don’t need it. We’ll be holding off on leveled spells for a bit.

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get Eldritch Invocations... hey wouldn’t it be funny if we just didn’t take invocations? I mean, feel free to grab some basic stuff like Armor of Shadows or Devil’s Sight for a time, but again we’re going to want to wait for...

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 3

Third level Warlocks get their Pact Boon and while you may never have gone to an official school you were sure to keep all the teachings of Master Shen in a tome. A Book of Shadows from the Pact of the Tome to be precise!

While Pact of the Blade would probably make more sense I’m pretty sure you can’t make your Psychic Blades into Pact weapons. That, and we need a multitude of features from Pact of the Tome more.

Picking up the Pact of the Tome will let you learn 3 cantrips from any class’ spell list. For a quality assurance guarantee on your skill checks take Guidance for that extra boost you need. For some natural Ionian magic Druidcraft will let you feel the spirit in the earth and the trees. And I know there are some spells I seem to stick into every build but yeah: Message is still good even if you have telepathy, for some silent resourceless communication between allies.

Oh and remember how we took no invocations last level? That’s because we’re going to be grabbing both Aspect of the Moon to confuse Diana mains as well as remain alert through the night without needing to sleep, and Book of Ancient Secrets to have some ninja tricks you can prepare over 10 minutes by Ritual Casting. I’d suggest Alarm and Comprehend Languages as the most in-character options but you can get more ritual spells by picking them up and inscribing them into your book (with some really damn expensive ink.)

You can also finally go and pick up those spells that I’ve been ignoring! Darkness is good for a magic smoke bomb (as long as you’re okay with blinding yourself and your allies too) and while perhaps not the most in-character Mirror Image is a damn good spell to up your survivability. And while we may already have Flash once per long rest I won’t ever complain about more Misty Step.

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement: time for hee-hoo Athlete Feat that I take whenever I want a +1 in DEX but don’t know what to do. But believe it or not there’s actually a reason for it this time: Akali is an athlete, and you need to be able to perform feats of acrobatics like a ninja. Because again: you are a ninja.

You also get another spell along with another cantrip: for your cantrip Mage Hand will let you do a little bit of spirit-jitsu to reach the kimchi on the top shelf. As for your spell Pass without Trace was added in the Tasha’s extended spell list but you don’t really need it. Your friends might but for the most part I’d again suggest waiting for next level.

(Artwork by Zeen Chin. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation and to be sneaky like a ninja One With Shadows will let you turn invisible if you stand still in the dark. Alternatively (if you think Stealth Expertise will carry you) you can take Far Scribe for some more secret shadow messages.

You can also learn third level spells like Blink for a slightly unreliable Smoke Cloud that’ll shroud you randomly, or Fear because ninjas are scary.

LEVEL 10 - WARLOCK 6

6th level Fey Warlocks get Misty Escape. As a reaction when you’re hit you can drop a smoke bomb to turn invisible and then teleport up to 60 feet. You remain invisible until the start of your next turn unless you attack or cast a spell, and can use this feature once per short or long rest.

You can also prepare another spell and for a ninja flashbang grab Hypnotic Pattern to daze everyone in a 30 foot cube. What? Ninjas can use flashbangs.

LEVEL 11 - WARLOCK 7

7th level Warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation and we can finally run across the universe to whoever we marked with our shuriken. Or at least 30 feet closer. Relentless Hex lets you teleport up to 30 feet and arrive within 5 feet of an enemy you have Hexed, as long as you can see them. While you can dash for this distance or Flash (Misty Step) this will let you get past any difficult terrain or obstacles with ease.

We can also finally get what we came for: a smoke cloud we can attack from while still being invisible. Take Greater Invisibility for invisibility that remains even after you attack. Yes this does mean as a Rogue you’ll have Advantage on all your attacks (to Sneak Attack), and yes the aesthetic of stabbing people with psychic knives that leave no mark while you yourself are invisible is freaking nuts. There are other 4th level spells you can take (Dimension Door and Shadow of Moil being two worth mention) but your other spells are still good. It’s up to you what you do as again I only own the build, not your character.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 5

At long last we’re going back to Rogue! 5th level Rogues can use their reaction for an Uncanny Dodge to take half damage from an attack. Remember that you only have one reaction per round, and this is the same reaction that you need to use for Misty Escape. So decide if disappearing but taking full damage is more valuable than taking half damage.

Your Sneak Attack also increases to 3d6, and you know those Psionic Energy die of yours? Well they’re now d8s! Finally!

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills. Acrobatics is an obvious must but I’ll leave the other skill up to you! Make your own build, even if it’ll probably include Riftmaker. (But when in doubt I opted for Perception personally.)

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues become masters of dodging skill shots thank to Evasion. If you make a Dexterity save and succeed, you take no damage. If you fail the save, you only take half damage! Additionally your Sneak Attack is now 4d6.

(Artwork by Pyeongjun Park. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 8

8th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement. Hey about we cap that Dexterity score which has been sitting at an 18 for the past 6 levels? Deadliest knives, most agile of dodges, and BADDEST of dance moves. (Wait no that’s Charisma.)

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 9

9th level Soul Knife Rogues can improve their weapons to Soul Blades, giving a few new uses to your Psionic Talent die. Homing Strikes will let you add your talent die to a missed attack, potentially allowing you to hit. If the talent die causes your attack to hit, you spend it.

Psychic Teleportation on the other hand will let you roll a Psionic Talent die as a bonus action to teleport an unoccupied space you can see, up to a number of feet away equal to 10 times the number rolled. This feature spends the die no matter how far you teleport. And finally your Sneak Attack increase to 5d6.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 10

The nice thing about Rogues is that they get more Ability Score Improvements. For MORE dancing increase your Charisma to show them what you’re made of. I’ll keep making jokes about K/DA don’t worry.

(Artwork by Atey Ghailan. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - ROGUE 11

11th level Rogues get Reliable Talent to turn any roll of 9 or lower on a skill check you’re proficient in to a 10. As per standard whenever I hit 11 in a Rogue build I like to make a list of your lowest possible roll so...

27 on Stealth or Acrobatics

25 on Performance

19 on Intimidation

17 on Perception

15 on Arcana

With results varying based on your choice of Expertise, of course. And if somehow that isn’t enough to make a skill check, your Psionic Talent die increases to a d10 along with your 6d6 Sneak Attack!

LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 12

Hey more Ability Score Improvements! That means you can nearly max out your Charisma just before level 20!

LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 13

13th level Soul Knife Rogues get the ultimate stealth tool: the Psychic Veil. As an action you become invisible for 1 hour unless you dismiss this effect (no action required). You remain invisible unless you deal damage to a creature or you force a creature to make a saving throw. You can use this feature once for free per Long Rest, and have to spend a Psionic Energy die to use it again.

Now some might say this is a weak ability since you have Greater Invisibility, but that spell only lasts a minute. This ability is far more useful for infiltration and out-of-combat uses, as with a full hour of being unseen you should be able to get into most places that you shouldn’t be. But if you think “a second level spell extended to 1 hour” isn’t a good capstone just remember that your Sneak Attack does increase to 7d6. And that... you know... You could just go Rogue 12 / Warlock 8 if you don’t like the level 13 ability.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

They can't stop me. I mean, they can try - 45 feet of movement with the ability to dash and teleport, with Athlete helping you scale up walls and Mobile making difficult terrain a non-issue. And yeah the Mobile feat in general makes you incredibly slippery.

I make problems... disappear - Who could’ve guessed that a permanently invisible Rogue would be dangerous? With a dozen tools to play keep-away you can easily be in multiple places at once and make your enemies unable to know where to strike.

I'll make this look like magic - You’ve got a nice bit of utility too with some great skill checks (boosted by your Psionic talent!) along with a ton of cantrips and the ability to learn any ritual spell you may find.

CONS

There are over 300 pressure points on the human body - You have a lot of features that are more for flavor than actual practicality, notably Relentless Hex which uhhhh... just Dash? You also have abilities which aren’t that strong, like weak Warlock spells we didn’t swap out (feel free to do that yourself) and Psychic Veil generally being a mediocre ability. (Nothing you can do to fix that.)

I was just warming up - Your stats aren’t awful but also aren’t fantastic... well except for your Intelligence: that’s pretty bad. And without any saving throw proficiency and a surprisingly limited amount of skills for a Rogue you really won’t be helpful outside of your area of expertise.

You don't get back what I take - Almost all your class features run on limited resources. Most of your Rogue abilities rely on your Psionic Talent die, and while you may have a lot you can only get one per Short Rest. Similarly you only have two Warlock slots, which even if they come back at the end of a Short Rest it leaves a lot to be desired. Frequent tea breaks are nice and all but you can quickly exhaust yourself without breaks.

But you are quick, silent, and deadly. All the skills of a ninja in one package. Dive in, make a clean cut, and get out before they know what hit ‘em. Akali’s that girl. 'Kali go grr. 'Kali don't stop. 'Kali don't skrrt. True Damage we do it, and maybe if you perform well enough you can get into Pentakill too. Look I’m not saying I want Akali to be in every band that Riot makes, but Pentakill Akali would be equally cool and hilarious.

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

[morethanaprincess-a]

@despairfiles​ said:  💕 for Emiya~

Shipping Interest Check (Accepting!)

Have we discussed shipping before?: yes || no || nearly every day on discord among pet tax, life, writing, wine sodas, politics, and dropping memes and images of our muses

My interest level overall: I’ve wanted this for so long || can’t wait || I think it’ll be fun || kinda feeling it || maybe with a lot of plotting || I need to think about it || not interested, sorry || Sonia may explode if she has to keep her feels to herself any longer

How we should do this: jump right in || slow burn || pre-established || build up to it in plenty of threads because these two are idiots your honor || anything goes

Dynamics I want to try out with our ship: friends to lovers || rivals to lovers || enemies to lovers || mutual pining || battle couple || childhood friends || high school sweethearts || star crossed lovers || long time lovers || old married couple || newlyweds || sickeningly sweet couple (and not just the treats coming out of the kitchen) || secret lovers || fake dating/marriage || best friends hiding their feelings || arranged marriage || soulmates || other

I actually needed a small break before responding to this interest check. Buckle up, dash. You’re in for a ride. 

***If you do NOT want spoilers for Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2, or the Danganronpa 3 anime, stop reading here.***

It started with meeting the right person at entirely the wrong time. Shirou Emiya, beginning to move past the Holy Grail War, met a strange girl on the street who asked about tacos. Yes, tacos.

That’s how Sonia Nevermind met her friend, Shirou Emiya. Shirou-san was kind and generous, with magic powers! Or rather, magecraft. Sonia had the best time learning about that and meeting Shirou’s closest friends and found family. And eating his cooking, which she never refused. She even ate the plum onigiri (once. To be polite. She did not enjoy the experience). But he was still finding his place in the world post-war and Sonia was still very much enamored with Gundham Tanaka.

Then the world fell apart. Or rather, plunged into Despair as Sonia, alongside her classmates, followed their leader Junko Enoshima to destroy everything hopeful and good on Earth. So many perished, by their own hands or by the Remnants of Despair, and only until the Future Foundation managed to take control of the situation did the former members of Class 77-B remember who they were.

Partly, anyway.

Because while Sonia could remember her friends, her hobbies, her family and home, and unfortunately all of the atrocities she’d caused, she couldn’t remember Shirou Emiya. The Neo World Program wasn’t perfect and some parts of her life, as far as those around her could discern, were completely removed from her memory.

It also didn’t help that while Sonia was both causing devastation and recuperating, Emiya’s heroic nature led him to fighting against Junko and her followers. To the point that, after Sonia’s recovery and return to Novoselic, he was sure she was still one of them. So he tried to kill her.

He failed. And Emiya doesn’t miss his targets if it’s his intention to kill.

That’s how it started, anyway. Sonia met the man known as Emiya while recovering from the gunshot wound to her shoulder, the one he gave her. And no one knows the identity of her assailant.

Still, it made sense then that in contract with the Future Foundation, he agreed to look after Novoselic’s restored Queen: his former friend who, unfortunately, has no idea who he is save for his bitterness, his snark, his agility and sharp reflexes, and the fact he can create a gourmet meal in the matter of minutes out of nothing. Herbed eggs on toast = gourmet to someone hungry, who can’t cook, and managed to fuck up toast.

But out of necessity, they’re forced to spend time with each other consistently. They talk, as they’ve got no one else to really speak to. Sonia begins to see his overarching need to protect others from harm and Emiya, ever so slowly, sees bits of the old Sonia he remembers returning.

They face, or will face, plenty of problems to solve and troubles to endure: from illegal magecraft, to a newly-formed parliament who wants little to do with the new constitutional monarchy, to Emiya’s friends and allies being drawn to Novoselic. And we can’t forget ancient curses and a growing pressure for the Queen to marry, settle down, and conceive an heir. It’s incredible that these two still have time to linger in the kitchen for cooking lessons or spend a night in the recreational room with Sonia’s new cat, Stitch, watching movies she remembers various scenes from but not the whole plot.

But overall, Sonia’s aware of two things: One, Emiya could never, and would never, regard her as fondly as she does him. She helped destroy the world: in her mind, she’s still something of a monster even if she’s not causing rampant despair. Emiya’s too heroic, too noble (irony!), and too good to ever see her or want her as anything more than a friend.

And two, she wants to 1. Taste his cooking, 2. Tell him how adored and how special he is to her and that every time he’s delayed coming back to the Castle when he’s out on a mission she worries, and 3. Climb him like a tree, all at the same time.

I’ve said over here that Sonia’s most important quality that she looks for in others is heart. And Emiya’s is one of the most beautiful, most generous, most kind she’s ever met. She’s witnessed him giving his all, everything he has, to help others in need without any question.

It also helps that said heart is contained in the 97 cm thicc chest he’s got. Chest Discourse is a powerful thing.

It’s taking every bit of Sonia’s resolve not to pin him against the wall and show him just how much she’s in love with him. She can’t admit it aloud, but it’s the whole reason why she both wants to choose an arranged marriage quickly as well as why, after he’s helped her escape her pressures for a little while and danced with her when he wasn’t supposed to at the first Royal Ball post-Despair, she’s hesitating on making a choice. She doesn’t want to admit that she ultimately can’t choose any of the prospects presented to her: not when she’s in love with him, and has been for so long. Something she has to realize only when he’s gravely injured and she’s remained by his side all night.

Their mutual friends would very much like to know when these two will figure it out. Because it’s exhausting watching them pretend that they either don’t like each other, or assume the other detests them.

[megashadowdragon]

I am ferdinand von aegir

ncfan-1 . tumblr . com/post/187898310567/i-am-ferdinand-von-aegir

The fact that Ferdinand says this every time you select him in battle in Part One is a meme for obvious reasons, but I’ve been thinking about it in a serious context for a little while, too.

Ferdinand places a lot of stock in his position as nobility, and in particular his position as successor to the Aegir dukedom, and what that means for his place in the Empire. He’s not the only student character in the game to place a lot of weight in his position—Lorenz, for instance, places a heavy emphasis on the fact that he’s a noble, and makes it clear even at the end of Part Two that he would make a better leader of the Alliance than Claude—but Ferdinand is unique in the sense that we can infer that the importance he places on his heritage and noble role is both something that was conditioned into him since he could understand spoken language, as well as something that is tied up in his sense of identity, and thus self-esteem.

Let’s back up a little bit.

Ferdinand is the only (or at least eldest) son of Duke Aegir, adviser to the current Emperor, Ionius IX. It’s known by everyone that Ferdinand is set to inherit the title and therefore the role and responsibilities of the current Duke Aegir, doing his part alongside Edelgard once she ascends the throne as it is also known that she will. This is a hefty responsibility, but one that Ferdinand feels confident he can take on, because he has been groomed for this since birth and has likely been assured that he will be able to do just as his father has done before him.

But what has his father done before him?

As far as Ferdinand is aware, his father has honorably upheld the status of Duke and has assisted / guided Ionius IX to leading Adrestia to prosperity. But what Ferdinand doesn’t know is that the current Duke Aegir hasn’t so much “guided” Ionius insomuch as he has controlled him, assisting other nobles into completely stripping Ionius of agency and torturing most of his children to death or insanity, and leaving Edelgard with her two Crests, shortened lifespan, and immense trauma. As of Part One, Ferdinand believes that his father is the image of what a noble should be: gallant, protective of commoners, and dedicated to assisting the current emperor and guiding him down the path of righteousness. For Ferdinand to believe this, he has to have been told this. And who would have told him this, if not for his father, the current Duke, himself?

To that end, I think it’s fair to assume that Duke Aegir was the one who filled Ferdinand’s head with the idea that he would have to “guide” Edelgard, no doubt using “guide” as a pleasant euphemism when what he really means is “control.” There is little doubt in my mind that the current Duke Aegir strove to groom Ferdinand to do the exact same thing to Edelgard that he himself did to Ionius IX: to not guide her, as an adviser would to his liege, but rather to control her as a puppeteer would to his marionette. Of course, he couldn’t outright tell Ferdinand to do this, so instead to impressed upon him the importance of guiding Edelgard, and more to the point impressed upon him that he was superior to Edelgard in every way. No doubt Ferdinand was told by his father since he was very, very small that he was smarter than Edelgard, more capable than Edelgard, stronger than Edelgard, and all around superior to her, and this was why he alone was set to “guide” her. If Duke Aegir made Ferdinand believe from essentially infancy that he was the one who would truly lead Adrestia to prosperity, then surely he would have no problem carrying on the noble Aegir tradition of stripping the emperor of all power and leading the country from the shadows. He would grow into the role pretty naturally, so long as Duke Aegir raised him to believe that Edelgard was misguided, weak, and ineffectual.

So Ferdinand grew up with his sense of self wrapped around this concept that he was superior to Edelgard in every way (and that this was a good thing, the right thing) and that he would lead Adrestia (and potentially the rest of Fodlan) to prosperity. His family was the most noble, the greatest, and he would carry the weight of Adrestia on his shoulders. He never doubted any of this because most children don’t doubt their parents when they’re very young, and with Edelgard constantly rebuffing his requests for duels, he had no reason to believe that he was anything but superior to her. (Note: I am not blaming Edelgard for any of this, I’m just saying that Ferdinand not getting knocked on his ass by her for so long did nothing to dash his image of superiority over her.) He was raised with the sole purpose of “guiding” Edelgard as Duke, and therefore never really branched out, considered what might happen if he wasn’t as superior to Edelgard as he was led to believe, or discovered who he really was …

… which is why the identity crisis hits him so hard in Part Two.

To be honest, it’s a bit unclear whether Edelgard ever actually tells Ferdinand what his father did to her (and Ionius IX) by the time Part Two rolls around. I think that if you’re on one of the other paths and recruit Ferdinand to those Houses (or if you’re doing Church Route), then there’s a good chance he never learns, and thinks that his father was unjustly stripped of his title and thrown in prison for no reason. But it’s also a bit hazy to me on whether he knows the truth on the Crimson Flower route either, because I seem to remember monastery dialogue from him at the beginning of Part Two where he says that his relationship with Edelgard is “contentious” at the moment, because of what happened with his father, which implies he doesn’t know (which … Edelgard, why wouldn’t you tell him?). But whether he knows or not, if you see Ferdinand’s supports with Byleth and Edelgard respectively, you see Ferdinand come to realize that he is not superior to Edelgard, and also that he now has to figure out what that means for him, and his role moving forward.

Aside from the fact that Duke Aegir never counted on Edelgard ascending the throne before Ferdinand could get her under his thumb, he also never realized that his attempts to condition Ferdinand to be just like him never had much of a chance of working, because unlike Duke Aegir, Ferdinand has a heart of gold. Ferdinand doesn’t take pride in his place as a noble because he legitimately believes that he’s better than others, but because he genuinely wants to help and protect those who need it. He sees commoner civilians get caught in the crossfire or suffering, and he believes it is not only his purpose, but his joy to help protect them. Setting aside the fact that Edelgard knew the truth of everything that was done to her father and was prepared to stop it, as well as the fact that Hubert would never conspire with anyone to manipulate and control Edelgard as his father did before him, I firmly believe that even if Edelgard hadn’t tossed the current Duke Aegir in jail and made it clear that those who conspired to control her would face similar consequences, Ferdinand would have never done what his father did. He believed, because he was raised to believe, that he was superior to Edelgard and that this was the way things were supposed to be, but he never held the malice toward Edelgard (or the greed for power) that his father held for hers. Ferdinand only ever wanted to work with Edelgard to ensure the best for their people, which is precisely what he ends up doing after coming to terms with who he is and what his true role within the Empire is, working as her advisor along with Hubert.

All of this is to say … I think it’s very telling that he stops declaring his identity on the battlefield all the time in Part Two. By the time Part Two rolls around, House Aegir is pretty much in disgrace due to his father being punished for his crimes, Ferdinand has most likely realized that he’s not superior to Edelgard as he has been raised to believe, and he knows now (since he’s fully out of his teenage years and has fought in a war for the past five years) that there is no honor that will be given simply based on what your name is or what House you hail from, but rather that honor is a result of your actions (and that even if not everyone knows your actions, that means nothing compared to the results your actions have). When he’s a teenager in Part One, Ferdinand declares his name on the battlefield because he thinks that telling the enemy that he is Ferdinand von Aegir, heir to the Aegir Dukedom, will be enough to make them quake in his boots and also let everyone else around know that they are safe and can rest easy because he is here to save the day. But when he’s an adult, he knows that his name in fact means nothing, and that if he wants people to know that he’ll protect them, he has to show them in action rather than just telling them in words (and also expecting them to know what those words mean, because as Byleth demonstrated when they first met, not everyone knows who Duke Aegir even is).

All in all, while Ferdinand shouting his name at the start of every battle in Part One is a meme for good reason (one that I myself laugh at), I also think it’s a subtle way to give insight to both his background and his character development given that he stops saying it in Part Two. Particularly when you see his supports with Byleth, Edelgard, and even Hubert, it’s clear how much he changes once he stops basing his entire identity and self-esteem around what he was raised to believe, and instead comes to determine a role and purpose for himself (which, incidentally, is what Edelgard wants and encourages everyone, Ferdinand included, to do). In that sense, it’s really wonderful and it’s something I’m glad is in the game, no matter how memetic it is.

[imagine-darksiders]

I really liked that “savage quotes that are memes”! Could you please please please do the same for Vulgrim, Abaddon and maybe even Usiel if you have the time? Thank you!

Vulgrim: You would never go so far as to say you and Vulgrim had become close. There was still a very real possibility that he’d turn around and pull your soul out through your teeth if he thought it would bring him a profit. 

That being said however, you had discovered over the course of your stay in Haven that the demon merchant had just the right amount of charisma to make you lower your guard. Which was quite possibly why he was still such a successful business ‘man.’ Vulgrim spoke to you and your fellow humans, and once you all learned that he wasn’t about to try anything - not with three, titanic guard dogs subtly watching his every move - you started speaking back. 

It took a while, but eventually, you came to realise that you liked Vulgrim and by his own begrudging admission, he didn’t entirely dislike you humans either. You were the only species he’d encountered who didn’t talk to him as though he were leagues beneath you, and way down deep inside, there was a grizzled old part of the demon that appreciated the effort. 

You weren’t friends though. Demons don’t have friends, as everyone - himself included - liked to remind you. 

So at the end of it all, when the Destroyer and his army suddenly appeared outside Haven and declared their intention to eradicate the last of your species, the sadness you felt at having to leave him behind couldn’t have been because it felt like you were losing another friend. No, surely you were only sad to lose the late night conversations about all the different worlds he’d visited, the jokes - that you aren’t entirely sure were jokes - where he told you how valuable your soul would be and you should really consider giving it to him for safe keeping. 

It was during one of your odd, little chats with Vulgrim that you first spotted the Destroyer on the horizon and not long after, you heard Ulthane barking gruffly for everyone to get inside the tree and into ‘the bridge’. Somehow, you knew this moment was a catalyst. You knew you’d be leaving Haven, never to return. And it seemed Vulgrim knew it as well. 

“I…can’t believe I’m about to say this, to a human, of all things,” He gives a soft, incredulous laugh and shakes his head, causing the golden sigils dangling from his cowl to clink and sway with the motion. “But you may be the first customer I’ve ever had who’s company I shall miss more than their business.”

It’s perhaps the kindest thing he’s ever said. Which is why you’re doubly floored when, not a moment later, he sinks lower to the ground and casts a quick look out towards the encroaching horde before turning his narrow, green gaze back to you and murmurs, “I suppose this is goodbye then, huma-…Y/n, and the last we shall ever see of one another.”

In all the time you’ve known him, Vulgrim has never once given expression to anything anything other than a mischievous grin or a dramatic pout. Now though, his scaly brow hangs low over his eyes, vestigial wings drooped behind him in much the same way and suddenly, something compels you to step closer to the demon, offer him a wide, albeit bleak smile and say, “Listen, Vulgrim. Whenever there is a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever. Whether a parting be forever or merely for a short time, well..” You offer him a soft smile. “That’s really up to you.” And then, as an afterthought, you reach out to touch your fingers against the demon’s forearm. 

The way Vulgrim’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets and stare warily at your hand lets you know that he probably hasn’t received a well-meaning touch in his entire life. 

With a last, parting smile, fully aware that you’ve officially run out of time, you retract your hand and throw your demonic compadre a hasty wave before turning and dashing into the tree whilst Vulgrim stares after you, a bewildered frown tugging at his lips. 

He doesn’t immediately retreat into his serpent holes, too caught up in trying to remember when - if ever - humans had been so dramatic. 

—

Usiel: The hard-nosed, no nonsense angelic commander, Usiel, hadn’t quite known what to think when you fell out of that air duct and landed slap bang on top of his desk, scuppering books, scrolls and inkwells alike, and sending his soldiers into a mild panic, certain they were under attack. 

An entire battalion of seasoned warriors surrounded the war table with their swords drawn and pointed at a groaning, human-shaped lump laying in the mess. Shortly afterwards, a shouting match had ensued between you and several of the angels, the latter of whom seemed adamant that they toss you into the river. You, of course, were quite outspoken in your objection to this idea. 

After a lot of back and forth, Usiel had brought his fist down hard on the wooden table you still sat on, bringing the arguments to an abrupt end and nearly jolting you out of your seat. He’d then proceeded to pick you up and deposit you outside the warehouse with nothing but a gentle nudge in the direction of Haven and a grumbled, “Run along now, little one.”

You’d been making periodic trips back to the outpost ever since. 

Eventually, Usiel grew tired of scolding and shooing you off his desk, so he resigned himself to his newfound role of being an unwilling recipient to all your curious questions. 

That, oddly enough, was how you ended up becoming closer to the angelic commander - close enough, at least, that he no longer objected to your presence when he found himself standing alone on the roof, elbows leant heavily on the safety railing and gazing steadily out over the city. 

One such night, after you’d snuck out of the safety of the maker tree and made your way up to North End and the shipping yard that sat on the river’s edge, you found yourself reclining in your usual spot next to your usual company, who you discovered was in grim sorts. Turns out, he was having something of an existential crisis. It almost made you glad to know that angels could be just as prone to those as humans.  

“We have failed in our duty,” he snapped after you told him you were sure he and his men did everything they could to fight the demonic hordes. “We failed to drive the demon menace back, we failed to hold our ground and now, we are here!” He throws a heavy arm out to the side, only missing knocking you out by a few inches. “Squatting in this…this metal husk of an outpost! I cannot even provide my men with proper shelter. I have failed as a Commander, and as a soldier of Heaven!-” Suddenly, the gigantic angel pauses, his eyes shifting across to peer at you, apparently surprised that he’d just unloaded months’ worth of anguish on a human. He waits for you to ask why he’s telling you any of this, but you only tilt your head to one side and make a curious noise in your throat, wordlessly giving him permission to go on. 

All at once, the wind goes out of his sails and he visibly deflates, the feathers on his wings flattening back to a more dignified volume. “And then,” he adds, “I almost threw away what little integrity I had left by aligning myself with…Lust.” He spits the sin’s name out as though it had gotten lodged between his teeth. 

“Oh yeah, I heard about that,” you wince, leaning over to give his armoured shoulder a pat. 

“Mmm. I can only thank Heaven that the horseman knocked some sense back into me.” 

“Ha, quite literally from what I hear.” 

“I thought I could save us,” he laments, unaffected by your attempt to lighten the dreary mood heaped upon you both, “I had hoped, at the very least, my Seventh Legion would be restored, and we could return to Heaven with our heads held -” Once again, Usiel cuts himself off with a sigh that matches his impressive age. “- Ah, but it does us no good to dwell on what we wish could have been. Fact remains, we shan’t be returning to the White City, and I cannot help but wonder,” he continues softly, “what will happen to us.” 

There’s a shadow hovering over his brilliant, white eyes that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. You watch him lift his head to gaze imploringly at the moon, as if he really hoped to find an answer in its luminous glow. He wouldn’t be the first to try. 

After a moment, he drops his head again, this time staring at his own hands. “What will happen to me?” The night turns quiet after his last, muttered statement.

Just then, he’s startled by a small hand stretching over to pat him companionably on the back of his gauntlet and as he looks down at you once more, he sees a solemn smile pushing at your cheeks that makes you appear far older than usual. “You will stay who you are,” you urge him, giving his arm a gentle but insistent shove, “Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.” 

It is a sentence the massive, battle-scarred angel has never heard. His hands slide briefly off the railing, shocked that a human had just flipped the script on him. All his life, he’d heard it the other way around. 

It should have stung that you don’t consider him a perfect soldier, but it doesn’t. Because - and this hit him like a kick in the teeth - being called a good man somehow felt a whole lot better. He just didn’t know it, because he’d never heard it. 

—

Abaddon, holding a sword to your chest: Tell me the location of War, you mortal piece of shit!

You, deadpan: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear in me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.

Abaddon, hands shaking, pressing the sword against your heart: I’m not fucking scared of you!

[sage-nebula]

“I am Ferdinand von Aegir.”

The fact that Ferdinand says this every time you select him in battle in Part One is a meme for obvious reasons, but I’ve been thinking about it in a serious context for a little while, too.

Ferdinand places a lot of stock in his position as nobility, and in particular his position as successor to the Aegir dukedom, and what that means for his place in the Empire. He’s not the only student character in the game to place a lot of weight in his position---Lorenz, for instance, places a heavy emphasis on the fact that he’s a noble, and makes it clear even at the end of Part Two that he would make a better leader of the Alliance than Claude---but Ferdinand is unique in the sense that we can infer that the importance he places on his heritage and noble role is both something that was conditioned into him since he could understand spoken language, as well as something that is tied up in his sense of identity, and thus self-esteem.

Let’s back up a little bit.

Ferdinand is the only (or at least eldest) son of Duke Aegir, adviser to the current Emperor, Ionius IX. It’s known by everyone that Ferdinand is set to inherit the title and therefore the role and responsibilities of the current Duke Aegir, doing his part alongside Edelgard once she ascends the throne as it is also known that she will. This is a hefty responsibility, but one that Ferdinand feels confident he can take on, because he has been groomed for this since birth and has likely been assured that he will be able to do just as his father has done before him.

But what has his father done before him?

As far as Ferdinand is aware, his father has honorably upheld the status of Duke and has assisted / guided Ionius IX to leading Adrestia to prosperity. But what Ferdinand doesn’t know is that the current Duke Aegir hasn’t so much “guided” Ionius insomuch as he has controlled him, assisting other nobles into completely stripping Ionius of agency and torturing most of his children to death or insanity, and leaving Edelgard with her two Crests, shortened lifespan, and immense trauma. As of Part One, Ferdinand believes that his father is the image of what a noble should be: gallant, protective of commoners, and dedicated to assisting the current emperor and guiding him down the path of righteousness. For Ferdinand to believe this, he has to have been told this. And who would have told him this, if not for his father, the current Duke, himself?

To that end, I think it’s fair to assume that Duke Aegir was the one who filled Ferdinand’s head with the idea that he would have to “guide” Edelgard, no doubt using “guide” as a pleasant euphemism when what he really means is “control.” There is little doubt in my mind that the current Duke Aegir strove to groom Ferdinand to do the exact same thing to Edelgard that he himself did to Ionius IX: to not guide her, as an adviser would to his liege, but rather to control her as a puppeteer would to his marionette. Of course, he couldn’t outright tell Ferdinand to do this, so instead to impressed upon him the importance of guiding Edelgard, and more to the point impressed upon him that he was superior to Edelgard in every way. No doubt Ferdinand was told by his father since he was very, very small that he was smarter than Edelgard, more capable than Edelgard, stronger than Edelgard, and all around superior to her, and this was why he alone was set to “guide” her. If Duke Aegir made Ferdinand believe from essentially infancy that he was the one who would truly lead Adrestia to prosperity, then surely he would have no problem carrying on the noble Aegir tradition of stripping the emperor of all power and leading the country from the shadows. He would grow into the role pretty naturally, so long as Duke Aegir raised him to believe that Edelgard was misguided, weak, and ineffectual.

So Ferdinand grew up with his sense of self wrapped around this concept that he was superior to Edelgard in every way (and that this was a good thing, the right thing) and that he would lead Adrestia (and potentially the rest of Fodlan) to prosperity. His family was the most noble, the greatest, and he would carry the weight of Adrestia on his shoulders. He never doubted any of this because most children don’t doubt their parents when they’re very young, and with Edelgard constantly rebuffing his requests for duels, he had no reason to believe that he was anything but superior to her. (Note: I am not blaming Edelgard for any of this, I’m just saying that Ferdinand not getting knocked on his ass by her for so long did nothing to dash his image of superiority over her.) He was raised with the sole purpose of “guiding” Edelgard as Duke, and therefore never really branched out, considered what might happen if he wasn’t as superior to Edelgard as he was led to believe, or discovered who he really was . . .

. . . which is why the identity crisis hits him so hard in Part Two.

To be honest, it’s a bit unclear whether Edelgard ever actually tells Ferdinand what his father did to her (and Ionius IX) by the time Part Two rolls around. I think that if you’re on one of the other paths and recruit Ferdinand to those Houses (or if you’re doing Church Route), then there’s a good chance he never learns, and thinks that his father was unjustly stripped of his title and thrown in prison for no reason. But it’s also a bit hazy to me on whether he knows the truth on the Crimson Flower route either, because I seem to remember monastery dialogue from him at the beginning of Part Two where he says that his relationship with Edelgard is “contentious” at the moment, because of what happened with his father, which implies he doesn’t know (which . . . Edelgard, why wouldn’t you tell him?). But whether he knows or not, if you see Ferdinand’s supports with Byleth and Edelgard respectively, you see Ferdinand come to realize that he is not superior to Edelgard, and also that he now has to figure out what that means for him, and his role moving forward.

Aside from the fact that Duke Aegir never counted on Edelgard ascending the throne before Ferdinand could get her under his thumb, he also never realized that his attempts to condition Ferdinand to be just like him never had much of a chance of working, because unlike Duke Aegir, Ferdinand has a heart of gold. Ferdinand doesn’t take pride in his place as a noble because he legitimately believes that he’s better than others, but because he genuinely wants to help and protect those who need it. He sees commoner civilians get caught in the crossfire or suffering, and he believes it is not only his purpose, but his joy to help protect them. Setting aside the fact that Edelgard knew the truth of everything that was done to her father and was prepared to stop it, as well as the fact that Hubert would never conspire with anyone to manipulate and control Edelgard as his father did before him, I firmly believe that even if Edelgard hadn’t tossed the current Duke Aegir in jail and made it clear that those who conspired to control her would face similar consequences, Ferdinand would have never done what his father did. He believed, because he was raised to believe, that he was superior to Edelgard and that this was the way things were supposed to be, but he never held the malice toward Edelgard (or the greed for power) that his father held for hers. Ferdinand only ever wanted to work with Edelgard to ensure the best for their people, which is precisely what he ends up doing after coming to terms with who he is and what his true role within the Empire is, working as her advisor along with Hubert.

All of this is to say . . . I think it’s very telling that he stops declaring his identity on the battlefield all the time in Part Two. By the time Part Two rolls around, House Aegir is pretty much in disgrace due to his father being punished for his crimes, Ferdinand has most likely realized that he’s not superior to Edelgard as he has been raised to believe, and he knows now (since he’s fully out of his teenage years and has fought in a war for the past five years) that there is no honor that will be given simply based on what your name is or what House you hail from, but rather that honor is a result of your actions (and that even if not everyone knows your actions, that means nothing compared to the results your actions have). When he’s a teenager in Part One, Ferdinand declares his name on the battlefield because he thinks that telling the enemy that he is Ferdinand von Aegir, heir to the Aegir Dukedom, will be enough to make them quake in his boots and also let everyone else around know that they are safe and can rest easy because he is here to save the day. But when he’s an adult, he knows that his name in fact means nothing, and that if he wants people to know that he’ll protect them, he has to show them in action rather than just telling them in words (and also expecting them to know what those words mean, because as Byleth demonstrated when they first met, not everyone knows who Duke Aegir even is). 

All in all, while Ferdinand shouting his name at the start of every battle in Part One is a meme for good reason (one that I myself laugh at), I also think it’s a subtle way to give insight to both his background and his character development given that he stops saying it in Part Two. Particularly when you see his supports with Byleth, Edelgard, and even Hubert, it’s clear how much he changes once he stops basing his entire identity and self-esteem around what he was raised to believe, and instead comes to determine a role and purpose for himself (which, incidentally, is what Edelgard wants and encourages everyone, Ferdinand included, to do). In that sense, it’s really wonderful and it’s something I’m glad is in the game, no matter how memetic it is.

[carmenlire]

Could you do malec 9 for the kiss meme

Kiss 9: War’s End

read on ao3

The road is long and lonely. With every plodding step, though, home nears.

He feels like he’s aged a decade no matter that his commission is only half that long. With a wry twist of his mouth, he can’t help but think that the civilians have no idea what it’s like. Sure, there are parades for the officers and his red coat is brushed to perfection and the gold of his buttons gleam by the light of a thousand chandeliers as he’s celebrated at yet another fête but it seems the worst sort of cruelty when his mind is cast back to battlefields where he can still remember his men’s screams, still flinches at the memory of gunpowder and lethal bayonets.

It makes bile rise in his throat but sometimes he wishes that he’d followed his mother’s pleading. There’s a little piece of him that wishes, for once, he’d followed convention but no-- he’d had something to prove and had felt called to do more with his life than settle accounts and collect rent from his tenants. He wanted to secure his family's honor for another generation, had felt duty and responsibility twine around his neck until he felt like suffocating.

So, he’d enlisted in His Majesty’s Army to fight against Napoleon and in the process, he can’t help but wonder if he’s lost a piece of his soul.

Shifting on his horse, his thoughts are cast back to a time before-- when he was still young and idealistic and didn’t give a fig that he was the oldest and therefore exempt from war. He remembers talking to his best friend and daydreaming about being the one to finally end France’s threat against their little corner of the world. He remembers elegant dinners and peaceful drawing rooms and sharing teasing looks with his sister as their parents bickered about how on earth they had raised such rambunctious children.

His hands tighten on the reigns as he looks over at the empty space next to him. He can almost hear the second pair of hooves on the road, his brother’s obnoxious laughter scaring the birds away.

Jace had died at the Battle of Waterloo five months ago and the grief stings like an open wound, still rises up to choke the breath from him if he lingers on the horrifying realization a moment too long.

Without quite realizing, the Earl of Idris is squeezing his left hand in a tremulous fist. It’s only after a moment, though, that he feels the metal of a ring digging into flesh. It’s a welcome distraction and makes him take a shuddering breath.

Looking down, he sees the ring his betrothed had given him the night before he’d left for battle.

The gold gleams in the afternoon light. The sun is just starting to set over the horizon and as his horse plods on, his eyes warm immeasurably.

Childhood friends, as their lands bordered each other, it had been the most natural thing in the world when, after the fall they’d turned sixteen, The Marquess of Edom had found him in the stables cooling down his horse.

They’d both been home for the holiday break, wrapping up another term at Eton, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the way his heart pounded anytime the other boy was near. They lived on different floors but found themselves inseparable, eating together in the dining hall, sharing classes, staying up late in the common rooms studying and talking as the tension sharpened until it threatened to shatter.

That’s how it felt to him at least.

Back at Lightwood Hall, he’d felt his best friend’s presence even before he spoke. He hadn’t minded, though, and the stables had remained silent as he’d taken the tack gear off and reached for a brush after his morning exercise, murmuring praise that made the mare whinny in a sound that made them both smile.

Bane had just stood there at the threshold, leaning against the doorjamb and it had been comfortable for all that they'd both felt like they were crawling out of their skin.

“Darling,” his best friend had finally asked, voice coy. “Aren’t you getting tired?”

“Tired of what,” he’d asked absently, finally setting his brush down and stepping away towards him.

“Tired of making us both wait,” had been the quiet response and his breath had stopped at the words, at the acknowledgement they’d both been dancing around for ages.

Looking up, he’d seen all of his feelings reflected in brown eyes that had the most beautiful habit of flashing gold in the right light.

Without a word, Alec had closed the few feet that separated them. He’d had a moment to catalog the fawn breeches, the emerald jacket over black waistcoat. His best friend's Hessians gleamed with a new polish and he was an enthralling mix of comfortable and unknown that had Alec's heart racing.

Ducking close, he’d tilted his head and when their lips had met, the rest of the world had fallen away. They’d ended up dashing into an empty stable, tripping into a pile of hay.

Remembering now, he doesn’t know how long they’d stayed in the shadows, only that it had seemed at once an eternity and bare moments before they heard the footsteps of the liveried stable boys rushing to ready a carriage. They’d stifled their giggles, their euphoric joy at this next step of their relationship, against each other’s mouths.

Their courtship had last a few years before Alec had found he couldn’t ignore his conscious any longer. He’d enlisted with his brother and while no one liked it, they all knew his mind would not change.

That last night before he’d left to fight, Magnus had climbed up the tree next to his window and they’d spent all night together, neither sleeping, just talking in the dark, wrapped around each other. They’d talked until their voices grew hoarse-- from length or because of the tears they were keeping back, neither one could tell.

Finally, when dawn’s light had started creeping through the drapes, he’d felt Magnus reach for his hand and place an object in it.

“When the war ends and you defeat that bastard-- because I refuse to accept anything else, darling-- we will marry in the old church on the edge of my property. Until then, consider this ring a promise of my intentions and let it guide you back home to me.”

It’s been a long five years, he thinks now. There are no guarantees that Magnus wouldn’t have found someone else in the intervening years, that a boy’s promise hasn't become a man’s burden.

Not an inconsiderable amount of Alec wonders if the horrors he’s seen on the battlefield won’t be enough to make Magnus falter.

His leg throbs, by turns numb and burning as he’s been in the saddle for fourteen hours with another few miles to go before he reaches his destination.

There have been letters throughout the years. Briefly, he wonders how many never managed to find him but hope is a persistent bedfellow and he can’t help but cling to it, to the words his love has written him, all of which are seared onto his heart.

It’s his truth that they kept him alive throughout the war, sometimes when it seemed impossible, sometimes even when he didn’t want them to.

Finally, as the last of the day’s light glides over him, he makes the final turn into the drive of Edom Manor.

He works on his breathing, shifts restlessly in the saddle. The horse seems to sense his unease and tries to sidestep but he’s lived and breathed on horseback since he was a child and it’s the work of a moment to get her in line.

As he nears the front door, he’s surprised to hear it opening before he stops. Expecting the butler, Alec looks up only to find eyes that have haunted his dreams staring at him in stunned hope.

They’re too far away for him to hear the words but he swears they kiss over his skin as he sees his love’s lips move.

“Alexander?”

Magnus doesn’t move, just watches as Alec nears and comes to a stop just a few yards away. It’s a painstaking process and he grits his teeth as he climbs off the horse. His leg falters under him and for a horrifying second, he thinks he’ll fall.

The part of his brain not in a panic doesn’t think he could stand the indignity.

Some noise must escape him and he sees Magnus take a single step towards him before stopping. Thankful for that, Alec takes a deep breath and reaches for the cane he’s been using since that last battle six weeks ago now.

Turning around to face the man who’s owned his heart since they were children, he can only imagine what he looks like. Dusty from the road, lips pulled down in a grimace of pain at the bullet trapped against the bone of his thigh-- that the surgeon couldn’t remove unless the whole damn leg was amputated-- with his heart, battered and bruised, held in his shaking hands.

His steps are halting, slow, but his eyes don’t leave Magnus’s until he’s standing before him. Like this, they’re the same height and he watches as Magnus runs desperate eyes over him, examining him from head to toe with a sort of violent frenzy. His gaze lands on his left hand and Alec hears his muted gasp as his eyes fly back up to meet his.

Tears fall and they each reach up at the same time to wipe them away.

“Lord Lightwood as I live and breathe,” Magnus says softly. His hands come up to cup Alec’s cheeks before he’s leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “You came home to me, my darling.”

Pulling back just enough to look into his best friend’s eyes, Alec’s voice is hoarse as he replies, “I made a promise that I’d always come back to you, Magnus.” He looks away as he forces himself to say the words that make his throat ache. “I understand, however, if this is no longer what you want. As you can see, war has changed me and I cannot ask someone else to share the burden of my new body. Not to mention everything else. If--”

Before he can continue, Magnus is urging him to face him. “You have been my heart since we were children, Alexander. I have loved you since we were hiding away from our governesses and playing pranks on our Latin tutor. I loved you when you were half a world away where I couldn’t follow. I will love you until I take my dying breath-- all of you, every single piece that has returned to me against all odds.”

Overcome, Alec closes his eyes. He takes a shuddering breath when he feels lips ghost over his cheek. It strikes him, the familiarity of such a gesture that he hasn’t had in five years. It almost feels like a different person.

“I’m not saying it will be easy or that it won’t be an adjustment,” Magnus murmurs, bringing their heads together until their foreheads touch. “However, as long as you want me, I am yours, darling. I, too, made a promise and I see by your hand that you must remember it.”

Silence descends upon them and the last of the day’s light washes away to leave them in shadows. Alec barely manages to nod in acknowledgement. The relief and hope rampaging through him is dizzying.

And then Magnus whispers one last sentence that has the breath wrenching from his lungs.

“Welcome home, darling.”

It’s like a dam bursts and Alec is surging forward, claiming Magnus’s mouth in a desperate kiss that speaks of a thousand lonely nights and the washing away of a terror so deep that it’s carved itself into his bones.

His balance shifts as he moves, though, and while he could easily ignore the pain shooting through his leg, it’s not so easy to do so when he’s at great risk of falling and humiliating himself in front of the one person he’d never wish to appear weak in front of.

Magnus breaks the kiss, breathing harshly, as he wraps a hand around Alec’s back. “Let’s get you inside, darling,” he offers lowly.

The words sting and Alec can’t help but wish he had returned from war unscathed. But when Magnus looks up it’s not with pity or revulsion. Instead, there’s a devilish glint in his eyes as he simply suggests, “I’m sure you’d be more comfortable in bed.”

He doesn’t know if it’s the relief of returning home or Magnus himself but Alec finds himself laughing and it fills the entry hall, is no doubt heard by the servants as it rings throughout the house.

With Magnus helping him to the stairs-- he’s familiar enough with the layout to know they’re heading towards his chambers-- Alec kisses the top of his head, scrunching his nose as he breathes deep and gets a lungful of Magnus’s sandalwood pomade.

“Lead the way.”