#every time we're all in the same room again it's such a great experience. there's five of us! I'm the oldest of five! there's five of us!

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 29

"Easy Money Down In Texas" by Ray Wylie Hubbard (music video link bc it amuses me)

[alotofpockets]

Crazier things - Finding our way back | Katie McCabe x Reader

Where you and Katie take it slow to rebuild what you once had

A/n: part 2 to 'What if we're still meant to be?'

Woso masterlist | Words: 2.5k | Read part 1

-----

Putting on the Arsenal badge for your first training back felt like a dream. You could not wait to get back out there with your team. Stepping onto the pitch clad in your Arsenal gear felt like coming home. While Barca had been an incredible experience, and a place you felt very comfortable, a part of you had always belonged with the red and white. 

Your old teammates and current England ones greeted you warmly. Reuniting with them, even if you had met up with some yesterday, felt extra special while wearing the same badge on your chest. 

“Welcome back everyone!” Jonas started the first speech of the season. “It is great to see you all. I hope everyone had a good break and got the rest they needed. A lot of familiar faces, and also some new ones. Daphne, Rosa, and Y/n, welcome to the team, I hope your teammates will do great work in making you feel at home.” 

Then it was officially time for your first training back at Arsenal. Leah immediately claimed you as her partner, she of course wanted to train with you as the two of you were good friends, but she also wanted to know how things went with Katie. 

You updated her on where the two of you stood. While you did so, you glanced up to find Katie. A smile immediately on your face as you watch her laughing with Kyra at the end of their drill. 

With the players you had already played with around you, you quickly fell back into the familiar Arsenal rhythm. As for your new teammates, you made a point in getting to know them, and watch their playing styles closely. 

Between your first couple of training sessions, you spend some time with your family before you head off to America with the team. It was so nice to be able to just hop into the car and be with them within an hour. 

You had also met up with Katie over coffee again, spending a couple of hours talking and catching up some more. There was a lot to catch up on from the past four years, and you were interested in every bit of information that she had to share. 

When the team departed for the pre-season tour in Washington, the plane was filled with excited chatter. Match wise you were especially looking forward to the Chelsea game. You had recently faced off against them in the Champions League, but nothing compared to a London Derby. While it wouldn’t be on London grounds, still it meant a lot to you being a part of one again. 

Beyond the matches, you were excited to explore the city, and get to know your teammates better. The schedule was packed with training, and team activities, but also left time to explore on your own. You intended to use the time to connect with your teammates, and continue to figure out where you stood with Katie.

As soon as the team arrived at the hotel, the room assignments were handed out. When you found your name on the list, your stomach dropped. Katie McCabe. Without thinking, you rushed over to Kim. “Why did you room me with Katie?” Kim heard the panic in your voice, but raised her shoulders. “It wasn’t up to me.” You furrowed her eyebrows. “The pre-season rooming assignments were done by the staff, so no getting out of this one I’m afraid.”

You cursed whoever planned this, but picked up your key nonetheless. Since you did a little detour to complain to Kim, Katie was already in the room when you entered with your bags. “Hey,” She said from her bed with her bags still packed. “I can see if anyone wants to change rooms, if you’re not comfortable sharing.” 

With a shake of your head, you put your bags down on the other bed in the room. “No, it’s fine. It’s just a room, right?” Katie nodded and you both started unpacking your bags, before the team would head out on their first small training to make sure the flight didn’t take too much toll on their bodies.

After a long day of travel and training you found yourselves back in your hotel room. Katie pulled out a deck of cards, “Wanna play?” You spend a lot of hotel room nights, while travelling with the team, playing cards with Katie. The thought of playing cards again like old times, made your stomach fill with butterflies. You ignored them and plopped down on her bed with her, “Bring it on.”

The evening was spent laughing with each other and multiple wins and loses on both ends, all in all you had a lot of fun. Something you had really been craving, maybe rooming with Katie wouldn’t be as bad as you thought.

You could not have been more wrong.

Everything had felt so familiar. The games on her bed, the laughter shared, and then brushing your teeth side by side. It was something that had always been a part of your routine, and without thinking, after putting your toothbrush down, you pecked Katie on her lips like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You froze, “Shit, I am so sorry.” Your heart was racing as you realised what you had just done. Katie’s eyes wide in shock as well, not expecting it. Before she could respond, you bolted out of the bathroom, and out of the room, heading straight for Leah’s room.

You knocked frantically until someone opened the door. “Calm down, what happened?” Leah says as she pulls you into the room. “I kissed Katie.” You blurted out as you sat down on the closest bed to you. “I promised we’d take things slow, and now I’ve ruined everything. I kissed her out of habit and-”

“Take a breath.” Leah interrupted. “Wally, can you grab some water?” It was only then that you realised Lia was there as well. “Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to ruin your night.” Lia shook her head, “Don’t you worry, just drink up.” She says while handing you the water bottle. 

You ended up spending the night in their room, not yet ready to face Katie. Leah did send Katie a quick message.

Leah: Hey, I don’t want to come between anything, but I just wanted to let you know y/n staying here tonight.

Katie: Thank you for letting me know. Goodnight

Leah: Goodnight

The next morning you knock on your bedroom door. In your haste last night, you had forgotten to take your room key. Katie opened the door and let you in, to your surprise she didn’t look upset. Still you started apologising right away.

“I am so sorry Katie. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I promised we’d take things slow and I messed it up already. Everything felt so familiar and it just happened.” Katie let you ramble on while she was putting on her trainers. “Are you done?” She chuckles when you’re out of breath from apologising. You furrow your brow, “Yes, you don’t hate me?” She shakes her head and sits down next to you. “I didn’t hate you before, why would I start now.” She had a good point of course, but you still felt like you had messed up. “Look, I agree. It was probably too early to kiss me, but I understand it came from everything being so familiar. I don’t blame you, and I did not mind the kiss.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief, glad you didn’t mess up again. “But what now?” You asked. “We just keep doing what we’ve been doing. Taking it slow, talking, and spending time together. We’ll figure it out.” 

Her reassuring words combined with her calm demeanour eased some of the nerves you felt. “That sounds good, thank you.” Katie nods, “Of course, we’re in this together, remember?” You smile and nod, “Yeah.”

“Come on, get dressed. We’re gonna be late.” Your brow furrows. Your mind had only been on kissing Katie, so you had completely forgotten you had an actual itinerary for Washington. “We’re sightseeing with the team, remember?” The cheeky smile you loved so much now on full display. “Right.” You say nervously, quickly grabbing some clothes and changing in the bathroom.

The two of you were the last ones to enter the bus and already giggling over some joke that Katie made. Leah and Lia share a knowing look, the two of you were going to be alright. 

With the whole team you spend a couple of hours exploring Washington. You travelled from monument to monument and took in all the sights around the city. It really was a great way to bond with your new teammates. 

“Alright team, as I’ve said before, this pre-season tour is all about bonding so go out and have some fun. We’ll meet back here at five, and take the bus back to the hotel.” Jonas said and the bustling of your teammates making plans began. 

“Hey, do you have plans already?” She asked looking between you, Leah and Lotte, who were chatting together. “No, nothing yet. Did you have something in mind?” Her smile grew. “Yeah, my followers on snapchat gave me some restaurant recommendations, and I was wondering if you wanted to try one out with me for lunch.” 

You loved the idea and told her just that. “Ah, well looks like you two have plans then, we’ll see you later!” Leah quickly said and pulled Lotte away with her, making sure the two of you would get your alone time. She might be your biggest supporter right now, she knew how happy the two of you had made each other in the past, and wanted nothing more for the both of you.

Spending time with Katie was easy, and something you wanted to do forever you thought when you were sitting in a corner booth of the cosy restaurant that had been recommended to Katie by the fans. 

“Hey Katie, what is this?” You ask her out of nowhere. “Ehm, your food?” Her eyebrows raised and a chuckle left her mouth. “Sorry, I left the context in my brain.” Her smile grew, “Yeah, you always had a tendency to do that.”

“I mean are we just having lunch or is this a date?” Katie is quiet for a moment. “Would you be okay with it being a date?” She questioned shyly. “Yeah, would you?” She smiled, “Yeah, I would really like that.”

The rest of your stay in Washington, you went on a couple more dates. The two of you were figuring it out and you really liked the way things were going. On top of that, you got to play your first minutes for your club, and couldn’t be more proud to put on the Arsenal kit again.

On your last night in the States, you were watching a movie in your room with a couple of the girls. You and Katie sat together on her bed, while Leah, Lia, and Beth were sitting on yours. About twenty minutes into the movie, you started getting uncomfortable just sitting up against the headboard, so you started wiggling around until you were comfortable, which was leaned into Katie’s side. “Is this okay?” You whispered. In response she lifted her arm and put it around your shoulder, “More than.”

When the movie was over, you had already fallen asleep with the steady beat of Katie’s hard next to your ear. Leah, Lia, and Beth had said goodnight to Katie and left the room, all without you even realising. 

Katie woke you up with a gentle shake. “Hmm too comfy.” You said, still half asleep. “It’s okay, you can stay comfy. Let’s just lay down under the covers.” Katie moved the both of you down and pulled the covers over you. “See, way better.” She joked when you were already getting comfortable cuddling up to her again. 

You had laid in her arms for a few minutes, falling back to sleep when you felt Katie’s heartbeat raise. Just as you were about to ask if she was alright, she pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. The gesture made your whole body feel warm, you looked up from her chest and let your eyes meet. “Hi.” She said, and even though the room was dark, you noticed the light blush on her cheeks. “Hey.” You smiled.

“Was that okay?” You nod slowly in response, while looking between her eyes and lips. “Would it be okay if I kissed you?” Your heart was beating out of your chest at this point. “Yeah.”

Katie placed her hand on your cheek, and started leaning in. You smiled and closed the distance. Her lips on yours were soft and she kissed you slowly. It felt new and familiar all at the same time. One feeling you were certain about, was that you felt on top of the world. 

When you pulled away, you cuddled back into her chest, and she held you close. It wasn’t long until you fell asleep to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat again.

Back home, the two of you still took things slow. Just taking it step by step, in a way that felt right for the both of you. Which for the moment meant, going on dates, cuddling, sharing some kisses, and spending a lot of time together.

After plenty of pre-season matches, it was time for the first match of the season. You were playing Rosenborg at home in the first Champions League qualifying match. Like it was meant to be, Katie swung in a ball from the left flank to you on the right. You hit the perfect volley, and kick the ball into the back of the net. 

Your teammates surrounded you, and the crowd went crazy for your first goal of the season. The goal that put your team ahead in the qualifying match, but there was only one person you wanted to celebrate the goal with, and she was patiently waiting behind the group of your teammates that was celebrating with you.

While Katie had joined in on the team huddle as well, she wanted a moment for just the two of you. She lifted you up and spun you around. “My Gooner.” She whispered in your ear. The familiar words brought a big smile onto your face. 

“Yours?” You say when she puts you down. “Yeah, if you’d like that.” With a smile you nod, “Yes, I do.” With her arm still around you, the two of you made your way back to your starting positions. 

This time when the whistle blew, not only was the match starting again, but so was your relationship with Katie. A new start you couldn’t wait to explore more. You were hers and she was yours.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[ca-suffit]

im sorry your takes are generally pretty great and i appreciate the space you make in fandom but i find the dismissal around lestat's queerness to be diminishing.

louis is a fantastic gay character and u r right about how he represents his queerness which is fabulously. he is mother he is fashion he is wife, a lot, and lestat is a lot more masc in aspects of their dynamic. louis also struggles with it, had internalized homophobia, and his relationship to his sexuality is fraught. now you can have that complexity and still be a "gay icon" sure but what i see here is a gay man existing. not every gay man existing has to be ~iconic~. louis is working on himself.

lestat is a different person and is going out there to make a mark on culture actively, regardless of why. he's not putting on a dress for five seconds (which btw was still pretty impactful in context but ok), he is being meaningfully gnc and making art. this is what queer culture is. it's frustrating to see this element diminished like it's just a meme or a bunch of people being thirsty.

im all for critiquing fandom being weirdos about it but i think the showrunners are doing something spectacular and pretending like fans are making lestat into something he is not just isn't the vibe.

reading this made me realize that I left out a sentence in this ask, so it did come off differently than I intended. I'd meant to say there's already been a lot of exploration of characters / ppl like lestat, but there's never been a character like louis before. I wasn't rly ever talking about lestat's queerness itself, I was talking about how he's prioritized bcuz he's white.

if u personally identity with him in this then that's ur right to, obviously. no group is a monolith and I was never trying to say one way is more "right" than the other. I rly do apologize if it came across like that, cuz I can see why it did.

"he's not putting on a dress for five seconds (which btw was still pretty impactful in context but ok)"

I don't rly know what u mean here bcuz within the show, nobody comments on the dress. ppl react to the baby but everything we know of the dress otherwise was only revealed by carol cutshall bts. I don't know what impact ur meaning here. to the tv audience, sure, but the NOLA audience?? or is it the fact he designed it in the first place.

tbh the thing I most noticed was that once again a white, european immigrant got to be center stage in an event that louis, as a black, louisiana native, isn't (like the card game lestat already had a place at more favored than louis earlier in S1). he also was able to wear that dress in public without public scorn (being european prbly helped here too, he's "other'd" but not the same way as louis is "other'd" for being black), which is something louis could never have done and actually survived at all. it's not that lestat doesn't experience homophobia otherwise, but he's still got a lot more room to confront it than louis, claudia, or armand would have, as ppl who would be confronting homophobia *and* racism with no access to white privilege (claudia literally dies in the same hour we see lestat confront a homophobe otherwise on his and louis' behalf and "win").

idk what they're going to explore for S3 yet, but what we've seen so far is....not that deep tbh. it's not even especially "queer." we're aware he is so we know it is, but straight men have worn makeup and flashy outfits and done homoerotic shit as musicians before too. very often. nothing we've seen from lestat so far has been pushing any boundary as a queer artist or making any kind of statement. I'm not trying to sound like a total bitch here, but a lot of what ur saying is pushing this white fandom agenda of the "importance" of so much that any white, queer character does that....just isn't. lestat's image and sound is taking a lot from other ppl in real music history who *were* doing groundbreaking things at the time, straight or not, but what he's doing is just wearing it as a costume rn. his lyrics even say "I'm an actor / in my makeup." like I said, S3 in full will bring more to the table, obviously, but for what we've seen so far....this hasn't said anything in any objective way that's "deep." u can still like it and identity with it, but idk how u'd argue that it's doing anything tbh. ur welcome to do it tho, I'm not trying to shut down the conversation here. I'm just giving my perspective. I *do* actually think this is stuff we should talk about exactly *bcuz* fandom rides so hard for it all the time. it should be explored why that is, what's the logic behind it. I rly am interested.

edit: wanted to add too that p much everyone we see in this show is queer and creative so literally why is nobody ever saying all this about louis' photography, claudia's acting and interest in fashion (or her general observations on the world thru so many diaries that are referenced in multiple ways as she's not around anymore to speak otherwise), armand's theatre work, madeleine's dressmaking. that's usually why ppl comment on lestat, bcuz he's the most noticed and praised but he's literally not the only one doing it at all.

[fadedncity]

wc: 5.2k

pairing: hunter!haechan x hunter!reader

cw: supernatural!au, smut, fem!reader, ex friends/fwb to enemies to fwb again, angst, sex pollen, dubcon(?), weapons, violence, gore, character death (non mcs), masturbation (reader receiving), alcohol consumption, fingering, teasing, pet names, unprotected sex

song rec: hypnotic by zella day | if you let me by sinedad harnett | love me up by etta bond | crave by tove lo

"You want me to what?!"

"Come on, there are worse things," Taeyong tried talking you down.

"I'd rather Lilith drag me to hell herself."

"Okay, now you're just being dramatic. Haechan's not that bad."

"Oh, no, he's just an annoying, pompous asshole."

"I-" before he could get in another word, you cut him off.

"Why can't you just send Sungchan? He's one of the newbies. The experience will be good for him anyway."

"I sent him and Shotaro to Oregon with Yuta to take care of a crossroads demon."

"Jaehyun?"

"Vampire nest in France with Jeno."

"Renjun?"

"Shapeshifter in Morocco."

"Kun?"

"On vacation," Taeyong sighed. "Look, you two are some of the best hunters I know, and I really need you on this case. Both of you."

You knew you couldn't keep standing here bitching over this when the real problem was still at large. People were still getting hurt, and you couldn't let your feelings of anguish toward him get in the way of your job.

You rolled your eyes before sighing, "When do we leave?"

"Been waiting on you."

Looking over your shoulder, you glare at the man standing in the doorway of the room designated to be Taeyong's office. Haechan smirked at you before winking. You scoff, turning back to Taeyong. 

"You're gonna owe me," you tell him. 

"Wouldn't have asked if I wasn't expecting to," he handed you the file, "Safe trip, you two," Taeyong smiled.

"We're leaving in fifteen," you told Haechan, "And we're taking my car."

Haechan held up his hands like he wasn't gonna argue with you about that, which was surprising, but you quickly brushed past it and Haechan out of the room.

"Haechan." Taeyong called him before he left, "Please don't kill each other and make it back in one piece."

"No promises," Haechan said before leaving. 

. . .

The first hour was filled with tense silence between the two of you. Every time Haechan tried to start a conversation, you would shut him down, not wanting to hear anything he had to say.

It wasn't until he picked up the file from Taeyong sitting on your dashboard did you finally let him get some words in since he was actually saying something helpful. 

"Says there have been four victims in the last five weeks."

"All the same motive?" 

"Yeah, all four of them were drained of their blood. Completely."

"Vampires?"

"No teeth marks were found. So, it's no looking likely."

"Any connection between the victims?" 

"No, not that I can tell. Aside from living in the same area code, none of these people had anything in common."

"Great, this makes our job much easier. What about a vengeful spirit? Or demon?"

"Could be. But can't say for sure until we get there."

Haechan closed the file and threw it into the backseat.

He sunk into the passenger's seat, about to change the song playing on the radio before you slapped his hand away.

"My car, my music."

Haechan sucked his teeth, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine. I was gonna try to take a nap anyway."

"Whatever gets you to stop talking."

Glaring over at you one last time, Haechan shifts in the passenger's seat, turning his back to you and shutting his eyes.

Hours have passed, and you've been driving on the dark road with no cars ahead or behind you for miles now. The only thing accompanying you in the darkness was the low hum of music coming from the speakers and Haechan's soft snores. 

It didn't even register you had been driving for so long until you started seeing the sun rising from behind the horizon.

Haechan woke up with a stiff neck to find the car at a stop, and you were no longer inside with him. Taking in his surroundings, Haechan realized you had stopped for gas. 

You were so spaced out you almost didn't hear him getting out of the car, the slamming of the door bringing your attention to him. 

You looked over at the Gemini, stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. 

"How much longer do we have to go?" Haechan asks.

"Three more hours."

"Okay, you should let me drive," He tells you. 

"No-"

"You've been driving all night. It won't do any good if you fall asleep at the wheel and kill us before we can even get there."

He's right. It irks you, having to admit he's right.

You took the pump out of the tank once it was filled and closed the hatch.

You held out your keys, Haechan ready to take them, but you retracted your hand before he could. 

"Be gentle with her. This is my baby."

"Baby," he scoffs, "You know I can be gentle when I wanna be," he says, taking your keys and getting into the driver's side.

You were blaming your lack of sleep on the way his words had an effect on you.

You shook the thoughts away and got back into the car, your eyes shutting almost instantly before Haechan could even pull out of the gas station.

. . .

"Oh, you gotta be fucking with me."

Now, this was an upgrade from your usual shitty motels. There was a couch a full bathroom, a minibar, and a queen-sized bed. One queen-sized bed.

And you have no doubt in mind who was probably responsible for this.

"I'm gonna fucking kill Johnny," you mutter.

"Get in line."

You were expecting to have to flip a coin or something.

"You can take the bed. I'll be fine with the couch," Haechan says, settling his things down.

"Suit yourself," you said happily dropping your things and heading towards the bed practically calling your name.

"I'm gonna shower. Then we can head over to the coroner's office?"

"Fine with me. Wake me if I'm not up in an hour." you say resting your head on the pillow.

The bathroom door closed, and you got comfortable on the bed. It wasn't the most comfortable mattress, the bed springs digging into your back, but you've had worse, so you weren't gonna complain. The sound of the water running was the last thing you remember hearing before your eyes fluttered shut, and you drifted off to sleep again. 

. . . 

You walked out of the morgue, thoroughly annoyed. And feeling Haechan's unbothered presence was pissing you off even more. 

Bad enough that Mark thought it would be a funny enough fucking joke to give you fake badges with the same last name, leading the coroner to assume you were married. And instead of correcting her, Haechan thought it would also be funny to play along and act as if you were.

So while you were actually working, examining the bodies, and trying to figure out what was responsible for the deaths of those four people, Haechan was talking up your fake five-year marriage on the spot with the coroner. You know he's good at this part of the job, but there's no reason for him to be this good. 

Haechan loosens his tie walking in tow with you back to your car after you finish your questioning. 

"See, that wasn't so bad," Haechan says, and you roll your eyes at him. "Alright, when are you gonna pop this hate boner you have for me?" he asks. 

You scoff, "Whenever that big ass ego of yours deflates." 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Like you don't fucking know," you mutter. 

"Yeah, I fucking don't. So why don't you stop acting like a pouty little brat and just tell me."

You didn't say anything, and Haechan sighed. 

"I thought you said you weren't mad about that."

"I'm not but that doesn't mean I have to like you after you did it." 

"It was two years ago!" 

"And it was fucked up. But it's funny enough you keep showing up whenever you think I'm in need of saving."

"Need I remind you I am the one who quite literally saved you from being that werewolf's late night snack?"

You grumble at him under your breath, walking away. 

He tries to keep up with your steps, following you to the car.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, and you finally stopped, "For everything. I didn't mean to shut you out. I was just...scared," he admits 

"Of what? I thought we were both very clear about where we stood."

"And I still cared about you. You know what it's like getting close to something in this line of work," Haechan tells you, "And I wasn't just gonna let you die for the sake of your own ego. You're too good of a hunter for us to lose." 

You didn't even think you still held this much anger towards him until now. You didn't want to anymore, seemingly taking this long to get over it. And it would make this job a lot less painful if you weren't stuck thinking about the past. 

"Don't try to flatter me now, Donghyuck." You say, a phantom smirk playing on your lips. "You're still an annoying, pompous asshole," you say.

Haechan snickers, putting his hands in his pockets and walking up to you. 

"And you're a heartless, whiny little brat," he smirked at your offended expression. He then stepped back and asked, "Wanna grab breakfast?" quickly changing the subject.

"You really wanna eat now?"

"Can't work on an empty stomach," Haechan says, "I'll buy," he offers. 

"Fine. But, after, we're going to the crime scenes." 

"Yes, Mrs," Haechan teases, laughing when you shoot him another death glare. 

. . . 

"You okay?" Haechan asks as he enters the run-down house.

"Yeah," you shake the unsettling feeling and follow in behind him, "We're getting close."

"But we still have time. We just need to find her heart and kill her. Simple."  

Yeah, simple. 

The one thing you hate about witches is how difficult they make it to hunt them. Using glamour spells to appear as whoever they want or hexing five random people as a part of some ritualistic sacrifice trying to raise something much more malicious back from the dead. They're always unpredictable. 

"I'll check upstairs," you tell him. 

Haechan nods, heading towards the living room to check the first floor, "Hey, Haechan."

"Yeah?" he turns around.

"Don't be stupid and get yourself killed," you say.

He nods again with a smirk, "You too." 

Reaching the top of the stairs, you held up your shotgun as you crept down the halls, carefully checking every room you passed. The floorboards croaked under your weight with each step you took. 

It was deathly silent; your ears started to ring. You couldn't even hear Haechan downstairs as you reached the end of the hallway.

You pushed the last door open with the barrel of your gun and started looking around. Different plants and herbs were scattered all over the room, and you made sure to stay a safe distance away, not sure what some of them were.

When you found the room was clear, you lowered your weapon and looked around, finding a book that you could only assume was her grimoire, opened to a page.

Careful flipping through the pages, you find the ritual she was trying to perform, only needing a few more things, including one last victim, before it's complete.

Supplies and ingredients were laid out all over the table, most of the things looking unfamiliar since she was using an older method of magic. 

Among the items, a box unlocked. The box holding the witch's heart.

"Now, who's the heartless one," you mumble.

"That one's still up for debate," the voice sent a chill down your spine.

You turn around, aiming your gun, but it's too late.

In her true form, thin skin stretched across the witch's face, baring rotting teeth. You could barely see anything else as she wore a tattered black cloak, the hood covering most of her face. 

She grabbed the barrel with long bony fingers, making you miss your shot, and shot the wall behind her instead. Before you could reload, she held out her hand, blowing the contents sitting in her palm in your face.

A floral scent invaded your senses, and your nose felt tingly as you inhaled whatever powder she possessed.

You heard the sound of Haechan calling your name, his footsteps rushing to your location as your body hit the floor.

"You both have been very entertaining to watch. You looking at him when he's not paying attention, and him looking at you once you turn away. Ugh! it's just someing about the secret pining that gets me everytime. So beautiful yet…so painful," the witch looks off dramatically into the distance, "But don't worry now, child. I have freed you of your misery." she speaks, smiling widely.

Before Haechan could get a shot, she moved faster than you'd expect, and she's a lot stronger than you's think for a few centuries-old witch. 

"Haechan," you weakly called his name.

He was quickly disarmed and he couldn't seem to be able to move.

"Ah, I get what all the fuss is about. He's even cuter up close. I might save him for myself," the witch wickedly grinned, "You'd make a perfect vessel," she caressed Haechan's face.

Her skeletal fingers wrapped around Haechan's throat, squeezing his airway. 

Using all the strength you could muster, you reached for the box with her heart. She fell to the ground, weakly crawling toward you to try and stop you as the shard of glass in your hand pierced through the rotted tissue. She cursed at you as she wailed out in agony.  

"You'd do it too, for love," was the last thing she said before burning to ashes. 

"Call us even now," you teased Haechan before you toppled in pain.

"You okay?" Haechan rushes to your side.

"No, something's very wrong. It hurts," you whine.

"What? Where?"

"Everywhere. I don't know what the fuck she did to me."

"Okay. We gotta get you outta here," Haechan slung your arm around his neck, helping you to your feet.

You clung onto Haechan, stumbling over your feet, leaving the house with Haechan's arm around you, keeping you upright. 

You squirmed in the passenger's seat, the pain getting even worse.  

"Haechan, I can't. Everthing fucking hurts," you cry. 

Haechan's knuckles turned white from how hard he gripped the wheel, applying more pressure to the gas, rushing back to your hotel. 

You felt like you were burning inside out while simultaneously being stabbed. Yet you were thinking about how hot Haechan looked. Maybe the end is near.

Haechan's face was set in a hard line, his jaw clenched as he did about 30 over the speed limit. You found your eyes drifting over to him, distracting yourself for a moment. Haechan's sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, the muscles in his arms rippling under his skin as he held onto the steering wheel. From the dark brown strands falling over his eyes to the jeans hugging his thighs so deliciously you couldn't resist the urge to press your thighs together. 

Your pain subsided for only a second before you shook those thoughts from your head, and your nerves returned to screaming in agony. 

Haechan could care less about how badly he parked the car before running over to your side and helping you out of the car, rushing you into the hotel. Thankfully it was late, and no one was in the lobby other than the receptionist you slipped past without detection. 

The moment you entered your room, you pushed Haechan away and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were taking a cold shower to bring your temperature back down, but you couldn't shake the thoughts of Haechan out of your mind. How good he smelled, how his body felt against yours with you tucked into his side, the genuine concern he showed for you-

You didn't even realize you had your hand between your thighs until you finally felt relief, stroking your clit. You bit your lip, trying to conceal any moans threatening to spill out of your lips. You desperately rubbed your clit, feeling the strongest need for release right now. 

Your eyes were closed, and all you envisioned behind closed eyelids were Haechan. His face, his voice—everything was overwhelming.

You were already so close to cumming, as you thought of Haechan's fingers instead of your own. 

You scraped your nails down the tiled walls, that knot inside you so close to breaking. Until you heard a knock on the door. 

"You okay in there?" Haechan asks from the other side. 

You snap out of it, opening your eyes as guilt and pain washed over you.

You cleared your throat, "Yeah. I'll be out in a second," you yelled to him.

The shower only helped temporarily. You were lying on the bed, half-naked, a thin layer of sweat covering your entire body.  

You tried to wait for Haechan to come back after getting off the phone and hopefully with a solution to this. You were exhausted but still in too much pain to even try sleeping.

Your body jolted, alert once again, hearing the door slamming. 

"Haechan?" 

He didn't hear you calling his name as he flipped through the pages of the witch's grimoire you snagged from the house before leaving. Once Haechan stopped turning through the book, his eyes bounced around the page, reading whatever was written.

"Haechan?" you call him again. 

He tore his eyes away from the page and met your gaze. 

"What is it?" you ask. 

For once, it seemed Haechan was at a loss for words. And his silence was beginning to scare you.

"Haechan, please just tell me," you pleaded.

He sighs, "If it's what Jaemin think's it is, it was phoenix's blossom she hit you with. It's pretty high grade and usually associated with spells of desire." 

You thought this information would've clarified at least a few things, but you were more confused, leaving you with even more questions than answers. 

"Okay, then why the hell does it feel like I'm dying?" 

"The neglect of the heart's desires will ignite the eternal fires from within. Scorching the soul along with it," he read from the pages. 

Fuck me. 

You manage to roll out of bed and over to the minibar, pouring yourself a shot of whiskey.

If you're going to die before you're 30, you're going to at least have one last drink if it really is the end. 

It was like you could feel Haechan's eyes on you as you poured another drink, the alcohol not being enough to eliminate your pain but numb it enough that it became bearable for you. 

You didn't even notice Haechan had moved until he was standing next to you, pouring himself a drink.

He didn't say anything, just sipping on the amber liquid, carefully watching you. He looked at you blankly, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking. You were only starting to focus on how much prettier he looks up close. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" you ask him, annoyed with the wordless staring. 

"What are you thinking?"

You scoff before downing the rest of your drink without as much as a wince, "What am I thinking? How pissed I am some old hag got the jump on me like this. How I'm gonna haunt Taeyong's ass from beyond the grave. How I'm never getting those twenty bucks Chenle still owes me." you half-joked. 

The feeling of Haechan's fingers reaching out for your hand made you finally meet his eyes. 

You sighed, "How angry it makes me to look at your face sometimes. How bad I wish things didn't get so fucked up because you were still my friend," you didn't notice he was slowly pulling you closer, "And how badly I miss the way you used to touch me." 

He cupped your face, staring into your eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Why should I?"

"Cause I'm tired of looking at your stupid face," you didn't try too hard to push him away. 

Your skin burns under his touch when Haechan grabs your waist, "Ah. Was this the same stupid face you were thinking about when you were trying to get off in the shower?" 

Haechan teased you when embarrassment took over your face.

"You think I don't remember what you sound like even when you so desperately try to keep quiet."

Haechan cups your jaw, bringing your face closer.

"You don't think I miss the pretty noises you'd make for me." 

You could feel the flood of arousal throughout your body, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. 

Haechan's eyes are dark, and when you bring your hand to his cheek, you feel how warm his skin is compared to yours. 

"Haechan, you're-"

"I know," was all Haechan said. 

The residue of the phoenix's blossom on his clothes was evidence enough. 

"This shit feels like poison coursing through my veins. And it is unbearably fucking hot in here. But I can't seem to pull myself away for you," Haechan pulled you flush against him.

"I wanna hear you say it," you stop him with your finger on his lips. 

"I want you so bad, it's killing me," he said light-heartedly.

With that, your lips were on his. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, weaving your fingers in his hair. You moaned into his mouth when he pressed your body into the bar behind you. 

You swipe your tongue along the seam of his lips, tangling with his before fighting for dominance. Haechan's hands were all over your body. He cupped your breasts over your bra, softly rubbing your sensitive nipples through the material, making you moan against his lips. You push the both of you away from the bar, Haechan blindly leading you to the bed. 

His legs hit the bed, and you push him down onto the springy mattress, climbing on top of him. Haechan's hands guided your hips, grinding into his cock, your shorts, and his jeans being the only thing between you. His hands kneaded your ass firmly as you dragged your hips against his. 

"Hyuck," you breathe his name. Haechan groans, even more blood rushing to his dick from the way his name sounded rolling off your tongue. 

You started pulling on Haechan's shirt until you got it over his head and off his body, now lying on the floor. You trail your lips down his jaw, nipping his skin between his teeth, leaving openmouthed kisses on the side of his neck. Haechan slid his hand over the curve of your ass, sliding up your back, reaching for the clasp on your bra. He couldn't keep his hands off you. Haechan flipped you onto your back before he slipped one of your nipples into his mouth, flicking the perky bud with the tip of his tongue. You arch into Haechan's touch, his saliva covering your areola as he gives the same attention to the opposite one.

Haechan starts kissing down your body. He sinks his teeth into your skin, taking in how responsive you are to him. 

Placing one last kiss on your hip, Haechan hooks his fingers in the waistband of your shorts, tearing them down your legs along with your soaked panties. 

Haechan's intense gaze made you want to close your legs out of embarrassment, but he didn't allow them, keeping them apart with his hands. He runs a finger through your folds, coating his fingers in your slick.

Your hips instantly lift against his hand, and he takes amusement in the way you pouted when he drew his hand away.

"Fuck you," you whine.

"We're getting there, baby. Patience." Haechan doesn't hesitate to bring his fingers to his lips, licking your essence off his hand. 

He hums, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. You could've sworn you watched his eyes grow darker; you could barely tell they were brown anymore. 

"Taste as good as I remember, angel," Haechan licks his lips. 

Bringing his hand back between your thighs, Haechan sinks two fingers into your cunt, easily breaching your walls from how wet you are. Moans bubbled up in your throat, the feeling of his fingers curling against your gummy walls eliminating the excruciating pain you were in.

You grab onto his wrist, rolling your hips into his hand.

"Haechan..please fuck me." 

A sound resembling a growl rumbled in his chest, hearing you beg for him. 

You pathetically whined when Haechan left you empty and untouched as he started to take off the last thing he was wearing. Kicking his jeans off, letting his boxers be the last to join the rest of the clothes on the floor, Haechan strokes his cock in his hand. Your mouth waters as you press your thighs together at the sight of him. 

"You know it's been a minute, baby, and I haven't properly prepped you. Think you can take it?" he teases. 

You wrap your hand around his length, squeezing your fist around him, making him curse lowly.

"Can you?" you raise an eyebrow.

Haechan pushes you back onto your back, giving you no warning before slamming into you. 

"Oh, my fucking god, Hyuck!" you cried, your nails painfully digging into his shoulders.

"You're so wet—shit. Pussy feels so fucking good." Haechan groaned, thrusting into you.

You roughly grabbed his hair, smashing your lips into his, and Haechan's pace started to pick up. He dropped his head to watch his cock slip into your heat easily, every time he eased out of you just to fill you up to the hilt again.

Haechan sat back on his haunches, still fucking into your messy pussy. Haechan was in awe of the sight beneath him. The way you tried to move your hips to match his movements but had a hard time keeping up because of the pleasure fogging up your mind.

With his hands still on your waist, Haechan pulled you up to sit in his lap, sinking down even further on his cock.

You threw your head back, moaning shamelessly. You held onto him, gyrating your hips against his. Haechan grabbed your ass, lifting you up before letting you sink back down, the tip of his cock brushing your sweet spot.

"You're so hot," Haechan's eyes were glossed over as he looked at you. Your walls clenched around him tightly, humming in agreement as you studied his face.

You gripped his chin between your fingers, squishing his cheeks together before you planted a kiss on his lips.

"I want—I need more. Please, Haechan," you pant against his lips. 

The corners of his lips curled up mischievously. Haechan pushed you back onto the bed, leaving you empty. He then manhandled you onto your hands and knees. You kept your hips raised in the air as he easily slipped back in, bottoming out. You moaned into the sheets, gripping them, feeling Haechan's cock stretch you in the most delicious ways.  

"Fuck, angel," he rasped.

Haechan's fingers gripped your body, bruisingly tight as you matched his rhythm and moved your hips, your skin meeting in sharp slaps each time. Haechan grabbed your ass, spreading your cheeks and watching your sopping pussy swallow his cock. You could feel the slick dripping down your thighs, probably making a mess on Haechan as well. 

"You feel so fucking good, Hyuck," your words were muffled by bedding beneath you.

"Poor baby. So desperate to cum," he started stroking your clit, making you squirm. "Good thing you have me to help make you feel better," he pressed a kiss below your jaw.

"Unfortunately, you're the only thing that can," you tease.

Haechan scoffs as if he took real offense to those words. But oh, was it the best decision you've made all night.

He forced your head back into the pillows, deepening your back's arch and fucking you relentlessly.

"Yes, yes, yes. P-Please—Haechan!"

"You feel that? How good I'm making you feel. Have I already fucked you dumb, sweetheart?" he said in a condescending tone, "What was it you said before?" he asked. Haechan knew you didn't have half a mind to think about anything from even two seconds ago, too consumed in the euphoric feeling of him blowing your back out.

"Hyuck..." was all you could say, and he proudly smiled.

"That's right, baby. Say my name. Remind yourself who's fucking you this good."

"Please, Hyuck. I'm gonna cum."

"Me too, angel." He snaked his hand down between your legs, rubbing your puffy clit. 

You cried into the sheets. The sound of your ass slapping against his pelvis mixed with your muffled whines and Haechan's breathy moans. 

"Let me feel that pretty pussy cum around me," he said in your ear. 

Your pussy had a vice grip on his cock, nearing the edge. Your walls pulsed around his length, your legs shaking from the intensity of your orgasm. 

"Haechan, Haechan, Haechan," you chanted his name, riding out the wave of euphoria. 

If it wasn't for Haechan still holding your hips up, your body would have collapsed to the bed. He kept pounding into your heat, your pussy enveloping his cock as he fucked his cum into you. 

You whined, feeling overstimulation begin to overtake you, but Haechan continued to lazily thrust into you. His cum started to leak out of you, dripping down his length and your thighs. 

Haechan's cock finally went soft, leaving you empty, the sticky white substance now coating your folds and inner thighs. 

Haechan rolled you over onto your back, looking into your glassy eyes. The tension filling the room was only accompanied by your heavy breathing.

You brushed his hair out of his eyes before slapping him across the face. Haechan cursed and rubbed his stinging cheek.

"Sorry," you apologized, "Had to make sure."

"Well?"

"Spell's broken," you tell him, sitting up.

"How do you know?"

"Cause I can go back to feeling like I hate you without being in pain again."

Haechan laughs, "You still hate me?" 

"Maybe just a little less," you smile before you kiss him. Haechan wasn't expecting it, but he kissed you back immediately.

"Thank you."

"Are you sure I'm not already dead and in heaven?" 

You laughed, "I'm pretty sure."

. . .

"You sure you're okay?" Jaemin asks over the phone. 

"Yeah."

"And Haechan?" 

You heard Haechan singing in the shower and bit back a smile.  

"He's fine too," you say. "You think the witch knew what she was doing?"

"Of course, she did. She could probably sense the sexual tension between you two the moment you were in town."

"What are you saying? That that was her own twisted way of playing matchmaker?"

"She's a pretty powerful love witch, that's pretty much her specialty."

"If I didn't know any better, I would think you guys sent us here on purpose."

"We did. Just so you guys reconcile whatever was going on between you. But none of us thought this would've happened. You two could've died."

"But we didn't."

"Yeah, you didn't. What're you gonna do about that now anyway?"

"That is something we can figure out on the drive back." 

a/n: now i’m ngl i may have self inserted a little too hard with this one except we actually have a happier ending 🙂

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Bojan Cvjetićanin: I know that we will cry our eyes out. And I'm really looking forward to those tears

Original article from Slovenske Novice Si

Translation credit: @moonlvster

Bojan Cvjetićanin: I know that we will cry our eyes out. And I'm really looking forward to those tears

Just before the highly anticipated concert in Ljubljana's Stožice Arena, we talked to Joker Out's singer, who told us about the band's plans for the future. First, they're going on vacation, and they're even all going together.

At the time of our chat, there are two days separating you from the concert in Stožice, how are you feeling?

We announced the Stožice concert quite a while ago, everyone was asking us if we were a little crazy, even we sometimes asked ourselves if we were completely sane in the meantime. But after a year, we are now in the final stretch, and we can't wait, because we don't have the nerves to wait anymore. If it dragged on for another week or so, one of us would explode. We can't wait to get on stage, we really need it by now.

What do you expect to feel after such a big concert? It can probably kind of drain a person?

When the concert was announced, we didn't imagine that in one year we'd be at the point where we are today. A lot of things happened in this year, and for us, this concert marks the end of one era and the official start of a new, even more important one. Based on the experience from Cvetličarna and Križanke, I know that we will cry our eyes out as soon as we get to the changing room. I really look forward to these tears because I haven't cried in a while. The crying will probably last a while and we'll let a lot of things out. I wouldn't say that we'll feel empty. Two days after the concert, we're going on holiday together, and that's where we'll be able to talk and air out everything that has happened to us. After our holiday, we're immediately going on tour again, there won't be a lot of time to think.

It's interesting that you're going on holiday together, do you not need time to have a break from each other?

Everyone we tell reacts the same way you did, they ask us if we're normal. But we have a good time together, we enjoy it, we get on well. Going on holiday togather is natural. We're constantly building a relationship that gets deeper every day, even though it seems like it couldn't be any deeper.

How do you resolve any conflicts that might happen in the band?

Luckily we haven't had any big conflicts so far. We have daily friction, which tends to happen in a group of five creative people, but it probably happens in all teams. Our rule is to speak honestly about all feelings, to prevent any grudges from developing. That way, we resolve everything quickly.

On your website, I looked up the concerts you've announced until the end of the year, a lot of them are abroad. How did you pick the places where you'll play? I understand that venues in the capital cities of former Yugoslavian countries are a natural choice, but how to choose the right venue in, for example, Barcelona?

After the Eurovision Song Contest, we had to really quickly draw up a tour. When we started doing that in June, it was already really late, generally you book venues for the year at the end of the previous year or the start of that year. We responded to invites from all foreign promoters who invited us to have a gig in their cities. Venue availability dictated where we went, we grabbed everything they offered us.

I know that the audience response abroad has been excellent so far, did that surprise you?

We have two tours behind us, UK and Nordic, we were in Great Britain and Scotland, in Norway, Sweden and Finland. We weren't surprised by the good response, but we were surprised by how many people sang in Slovenian. That's pretty hard to get used to.

When we talk about Slovenian musicians breaking out internationally, we quickly come up against language barriers - well, now you're saying that you don't feel that. But still, global success isn't just a question of talent, there's only one Rihanna, but there are plenty of girls who are like her at the start of her career. So what is the key? Luck? Connecting with the right people?

Any kind of success is an accumulation of many links that have to connect into a chain. Hard work, knowledge, talent, a huge amount of luck, being in the right place. I'm not really someone who believes in coincidences, but we can say that, as well. And connecting with the right people. From the start of our journey, we've tried to connect with people who wanted to be with us from the beginning because they liked this story, and not because they thought they could get money from it. Well, at the beginning, it was clear to them that there wouldn't be any money for a while. Love within the team and hard work are the key things.

How much of an influence did performing at the Eurovision Song Contest have on your international success? Some might say that young people don't watch the contest, but your performances prove otherwise…

It's true, the Eurovision Song Contest was our catapult. Just the final night was watched live by 62 million people. We're very glad that before the Eurovision Song Contest, we had built a strong enough base in Slovenia and made enough music that a certain percentage of those 62 million who looked up our music online could actually find it there.

I think that it was in 2020 when the songs Vem da greš and Gola were being played. Back then, I said that Joker Out would definitely be the next biggest band here, and I like to brag about that now. Would you say that there was a certain moment when you looked at each other and said: this is it, we've made it?

Right from the beginning, we've considered what we do to be the best thing. Success is a completely subjective thing, but we've truly believed in what we do. We trusted that if the five of us, our producer, and the people closest to us liked something, that meant it worked. We didn't let any outsiders challenge that. As for a specific moment... for me personally, it was our two concerts in Cvetličarna when we released our first album, that was when I saw how big everything that was happening around us was, when you put it all together in one place.

But it's probably not easy if so many people want a piece of you? You've spoken about panic attacks before…

We have a specific profession, the working hours, workplace and working relationships aren't defined. Us performers also constantly feel like we have to be available 24 hours per day. It's important, when the time comes, to learn how to say no as well, and to understand that nothing is more important than your health and well-being. If you don't have that, you can't create either. All professions have their dark sides, that is ours.

Earlier you spoke about entering a new era for Joker Out, what's coming up for you?

I can talk about short-term plans, about next year. We will spend the first half of the year in London, in March we will also have a European tour, we'll spend the summer at festivals, we already know that we will perform at festivals we've been dreaming about all our lives, and we will finish the year with two more tours around countries that we won't have visited in March. So, our new era will be marked by conquering new territories, as well as moving our brains there.

Siddharta is currently celebrating 20 years since the concert at the Bežigrad stadium, where do you think you will celebrate the Stožice concert anniversary in 20 years?

I have no idea, but I certainly hope that we will be as close then as we are now.

I know that most of the Joker Out boys are from Bežigrad, but twenty years ago you were still far from going to concerts, but perhaps you were kicking a ball somewhere around there on the day of the concert?

I was four years old, I know the other guys also weren't old enough to remember that concert. But we have watched it many times on CD.

[averseunhinged]

wip wednesday! because things are happening in my brain again!!! i wrote like 5k on the soulmate au, amongst other things. hooray!

if you want to read the previous snippets in order, i'm pr sure it's

this

then this week's

this

and then this

Caroline turned around to face them while pulling a black, sleeveless top over her head. "His brother's in love with me. And I do not have time to distract Klaus from anything, okay? I'm all booked up with everyone else's problems." In quick, frustrated movements, she pulled on a pair of socks, easily balancing. "I have vampires to teach and hunters to kill and best friends to rescue from prison dimensions and a mom I can't visit, and maybe it makes me selfish, but I would, in fact, like to go back to school next semester. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to compel this room if I never take any classes."

As though the conversation was over, she left him standing there and rummaged in a closet. Ivy looked at him and shrugged apologetically.

"Am I allowed to contribute now?" he inquired.

Caroline retrieved a pair of boots from the closet. She stepped into and zipped them and went back for a black jacket. "The only contributions I need are sorry for bothering you, Caroline or I can solve your problems, Caroline."

"I can solve your problems, Caroline," he parroted in good humor.

She rolled her eyes. "You cannot."

He straightened first his sleeves, then his shoulders and clasped his hands together. "I have over a thousand years of experience and accumulated resources. Of course I can solve your problems."

"A thousand years?" Ivy squeaked.

"You know, I was impressed when I found out Stefan's, like, a hundred and sixty," Caroline said.

"Ew," Ivy moaned. "I can't believe I slept with a guy who was around when slavery was cool. The top of my dating range is usually twenty-seven."

"But," Caroline quickly continued, "it stops being that interesting once you realize the level of freaking ineptitude they all exist in. No offense, Elijah, but your family usually creates problems, not solves them.”

“The level of disarray you’ve witnessed is not quite our norm. This has been a time of great upheaval. Only the first hundred years or so were less stable.”

“I know,” she admitted. After dropping her jacket on the bed, she crouched down next to Ivy. “What do you think? What should I take?"

"Well," she contemplated. "Crossbow's bulky, but it'll keep you away from stakes and vervain. There's a handgun with a silencer, too."

"I'm decent with a hunting rifle, but not the best shot with a handgun. Same with crossbow. I'm good with composite, but these old school hunter ‘bows are something else. I wouldn't trust my aim."

Ivy held up a leather bag. "Bullwhip?"

"Seriously?"

"Okay, no whip."

"I'll carry a knife. Soaking ropes in vervain is a pretty common way to restrain us."

“That sounds awful. It would never stop burning, right?”

“Like I said, benefit from my experience.” Caroline glanced over the remaining weapons and vials, biting her lip, lost in thought. “But if you do end up in a situation like that, what’s worked for me is to let myself feel it. Don’t get lost in the pain, but let it out. People who are willing to hurt you usually want to see a reaction. So, scream, cry, whatever you need to. There’s a chance they’ll underestimate you, too. We’re young, pretty, and girly. People expect us to be weak, because misogyny exists, even for vampires. Use that. If you can keep your head, you can watch for a chance to escape.”

“Wow. I can’t believe I thought being a vampire was going to be fun.”

“It is! I don’t mean to make you think it's all doom and gloom and torture and trying not to murder every tasty-smelling human you meet. Hunters are kind of a cult, and creepy, witchy crafting projects are definitely a thing, but they aren't everything." 

"Does that mean you don't want to bring any witch stuff with you?"

Caroline wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Absolutely not. That stuff makes my skin crawl."

"So, we're back to just the knife, but if you're close enough to use a knife on a human, you may as well snap their neck," Ivy said, frowning, as she sorted through a few knives in sheaths.

Caroline rested her hand on the other woman's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Enzo was looking for an excuse." She offered a knife small enough for Caroline to hide under her jacket, but large enough to be useful. "Besides, it's not so bad. My bucket list was really long, and now I'll have time for all of it."

"Thanks, Ivy." Caroline accepted the knife with a sweet smile.

"If I might make a suggestion?" Elijah contributed.

"Fine, sure." She stood and tucked the knife against her back, hooking the sheathe over her waistband. “Grace me with your centuries of wisdom or whatever.”

Elijah picked up her jacket before she could. He shook it out and held it up to help her put it on.

"Say what they will about you Mikaelson boys, but you do have manners when you care to use them," she said with a tart sort of approval in her voice.

"One does what one can," he agreed, adjusting the shoulders for her and stepping back to make sure the spot where the knife rucked up her tank top was sufficiently disguised. "Quite well hidden," he approved. "I believe it would be in all our best interests if I accompanied you on your mission. I assume you were planning on undertaking it alone?"

"We've had this argument already," Ivy spoke up from where she was repacking weapons.

"I'm not throwing Ivy into a fight until she has better control." Caroline crossed her arms over her chest and looked sternly at them both. "There's too much of a chance she'll be distracted by blood."

"Agreed. That is how most young vampires meet their end." He ignored Ivy's discontent grumbling and continued, "You're not so long turned yourself, Miss Forbes. While I would not dare to question your competence, allow an old man his peace of mind."

"And I'll be a captive audience for you to tell all about your brother's latest debacle," she shrewdly guessed. "Fine. Yes. I could get Enzo out on my own, don't think I couldn't, but it'll probably be tidier with someone who's been a vampire longer than two minutes."

"Great!" Ivy was cheerfully relieved when she bounced to her feet. "I was going to be really upset if you got killed rescuing the worst person ever."

"He definitely is not the worst person ever. You haven't met Damon yet."

[litterateur97]

This might sound a bit of a sudden but do you have any headcanons about the task force team? I hope you wouldn't mind sharing

Oooh I never get asked about the task force team, I do have many headcanons about them! Thank you for asking!!

Here's my random list of headcanons with very little organization lol:

I fully believe that every single member of the task force looked up to and adored Soichiro, some for father figure reasons and some for daddy reasons (cough cough L cough cough).

I think they all had individual rooms in the headquarters, but often ended up camping out in one room together. Like just pillows and blankets all over the floors and couches of one room. It's mostly because they were all scared any day could be their last, but also they just got really used to each other and found it comforting to be in each other's presence.

They all think they're the most normal guy™️ of the group. Every single one of them. The most normal one is obviously Mogi though.

They all go through phases of looking up to and then hating L. There are moments where they are so impressed by him and his intelligence and other moments where they are like this is the worst asshole boss ever. And I feel like they all take turns hating on and defending L, like not all of them are pissed at him at the same time lol.

They all appreciate Watari and always show how grateful they are when he comes by to give them snacks or whatever else they might need.

I think only Soichiro would notice that Watari must have been L's caregiver. I think he would have conflicting feelings about it and would compare it to his own relationship with Light. Would he have let Light become a world famous detective? If not for the Kira case, would he have really let Light get involved in stuff like this? Would he allow Light to become as detached as L? He'd like to think not, but he doesn't know for sure.

Aizawa was the closest to Ukita. He has a lot of nightmares after Ukita's death. I think all of them would have nightmares about Ukita, really, but I think Aizawa would have been the most affected by far.

Mogi is probably the nicest to and most appreciative of Matsuda. Like I feel like he would have stood up for Matsuda whenever L went too far with bullying him. I think he and Soichiro probably took turns being like, don't worry Matsuda you're doing a great job and we're glad to have you here.

Mogi is bisexual and out of the closet, but doesn't really talk about it very openly. But he doesn't talk about most of his personal life very openly. Only Misa finds out about his dating life when he has to spend a bunch of time with her basically babysitting her during the second part of the series. She's very supportive, but doesn't really get it and assumes he's just gay 😞.

Matsuda saw Light as a brother and was by far the most crushed when the truth came out about him being Kira. Like Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide also felt betrayed, but they were so tired by that point and Mogi and Aizawa hadn't trusted Light in a long while, so they probably had an easier time moving on than Matsuda. Matsuda experiences the cycle of grief over and over again after Light's death. He's so angry and feels so betrayed, but part of him wants to believe that Light was set up and isn't as evil as everyone says.

They all ended up really liking Wedy and Aiber actually and have conflicting feelings about it lmao. I feel like they had game nights with the criminals when things were slow and probably just shrugged it off whenever Aiber or Wedy cheated lol. Like I imagine them playing cards whenever there was down time.

I think that's all I'll put for now, but I might come back to this and add more!

[aphantasicheadspace]

do you have advice for making an innerworld when absolutely zero visualisation is possible?

i can't use any senses because the best i can do is weird pseudo-proprioception? y'know that trait some animals like dogs or insects have where movement is easier to see than still objects, yeah like that but i don't actually see anything

even then i can only imagine one thing moving at a time, imagining taking a single step would mean constantly flicking between my thighs, lower legs and feet as if watching an unfinished animation where some frames are missing limbs, which is a headache and a half and would mean having more than one system member present is either impossible or too difficult for me to want to bother

Hi!

So it's seems like you've explored a lot of other senses and found the imaginative side of those lacking as well. That you have some level of proprioception is something you might build on. Normally we would suggest trying to build on that, but if they're causing headaches, well then that's not great and it might not be worth exploring.

However, you may try to explore it without movement. We teleoprt a lot around headspace. Instead of imagining what every limb feels like as we walk around, we jump to imagining what our body feels like in different sitting, lying, or standing positions. And we don't try to focus on all parts at the same time. Usually spending more time focusing on our head/faces or torsos.

But again, that might be something that causes more pain and doesn't work for you.

So instead, you might try bootstrapping!

First, a note about aphantasia to keep in mind. There's a difference between visualizing and knowing. A person can know what something would look like if it were in front of them. If I ask you to describe an apple, you could probably list off facts about what apples look like, even though you're not visualizing one. This comes from your real world experience of having encountered apples throughout your life, and recalling the knowledge gained in those experiences. We're going to lean heavily on this knowing to replace visualizing.

Think about your home (or somewhere else familiar). Remember where things are in relation to other things? Remember how if you were looking for the TV remote what places you'd try to search? When you brush your teeth remember where your toothbrush is relative to the sink? (These of course might not be universal, so do try to add your own personal routine experiences here).

If you're having trouble with that, try to take note of these things in your daily life. I think it's called being mindful, but tbh mindfulness is a concept that boggles our minds.

Once you've got that, when you can hold a spacial memory like that in your focus, try to take note of how that feels.

If you're remembering the specific times you've done those routines or been in those places: Try to mash them together to find commonalities. When you are in your memory of your bedroom, try to recall this memory from different times you were there (and especially from different angles).

The goal is to get to a point where you can remember these places as purely spacial. Not any specific memory of a time you were in a place, but rather the place itself.

This might sound like trying to visualize, but it's not that. It might be if you're like us, but there's a non sensory component to just knowing where some things are in relation to other things, and that's what we're trying to focus on. (Again, the visualizing vs knowing concept)

So, you have those memories? Now pick a room you like the best, that you feel strongest with. If you were in that room right now, where would you be? Or rather, where would you want to be? Just for the moment. Let's say you picked a bedroom. Would you be sitting on the bed? Lying down? Maybe standing in the doorway? Perhaps you have a chair and a desk that you could sit at?

Now, where would some other things be in relation to where you would put yourself? Think about those other places in this room. If you're on your bed, where would the doorway be in relation to you? If you're lying on the floor, where would the desk be?

Once you've gotten comfortable with that, ask your headmates where they would like to be in this recalled room. They might pick the same spot, and that's okay. If they pick different spots, share with each other the spots you picked. Tell your headmate where they are in relation to you, where you are in relation to them, and ask them to do the same.

Then practice doing this. Get a really strong idea of where these things are. As you get more comfortable ask yourselves about what kind of things you might be able to feel from these places. Think through what you might be able to see if you were sitting in the chair vs in the bed. This won't be imaginative as much as it will be deductive. If you don't know the answer, try to go to that place physically and observe what it is you can see/hear/feel from there. As you practice these questions will likely get easier for both you and your headmates.

Now to get a bit more predictive. If you and your headmates have pictures of yourselves, ask each other and think about what it would look like for you all to be in those places. Again, this won't be imaginative. You won't be conjuring an image of all of this in your head. Instead try to think of and answer questions about what would be true if you all were there. Let's say Headmate A is at the desk and Headmate B is on the bed. Could they see each other from there? How much of the bed does B take up? What part of A's body is parallel to the top of the desk? Are either within reach of the other?

This step might be full of stumbling blocks. Just remember, it's okay to get it wrong. You're trying to make deductions and guesses about things that aren't readily available to test. There will be times when you didn't take into account someone's height, or their wing size, or how far apart the walls are, or any other myriad of information that you're just pulling from faulty, limited memory (as we all are). Taking notes or drawing might help.

The other major stumbling block is to get too caught up in the idea that this is imagination or that you should be getting some sort of visual output. You likely won't. We can manage to pull visual information from memories, but as soon as we try to edit them they fall apart and turn into black void. But what this technique is trying to do is just work past that void. These are simply theoretical facts about the spacial relationships of things, headmates included. They're "what ifs".

Keep practicing. The more you repeat these facts, think through these questions, and recall these spaces, the less thought you will need to pull them up.

To make this a part of your inner world, well, if you've gotten this far you more or less already have. When you want to "go" to your inner world, focus on that place. Ask your headmates to be there. Ask about those details. Think about what it would be like to be in that room with them. Directing more of your attention there and less on the world around you will catalogue your memories as being there rather than wherever it is your physical body actually is.

But, say you don't want this room, and instead want a place you've built yourself with a fully customized shape and feel. Look for creative games. Stuff like minecraft or the Sims. Turn on creative mode. Build a house there. Explore it a lot. Get very familiar with it. Then try these exercises with that location. Whatever creation suite you choose will have its tradeoffs, so pick whatever feels most comfy (hell I'm sure that CAD software would work for someone somewhere).

When you wish, you can add to these places. Repeat this process with another place. You can "get back and forth" with a sort of teleporting. Which is just doing this deductive work between headmates in relation to a different room. Instead of asking about what it would be like to both be in the bedroom, ask what it would be like to both be in the kitchen.

Or you can attach these places with further questions. Add a door to each room that connects them? Well how does that work? Which way does the door swing? How close to the ceiling would it go? What color would it be painted? (These questions are yours to answer, i.e. make up)

Or instead you can redirect doors and windows. When one headmate is in one room and another is in the other room, what would the sounds be like? How much do the walls muffle the sounds? Which walls are shared? Do they intersect with each other in non Euclidean ways? (Again, you can just make up answers)

The extra step to these last two additions will require some degree of reinforcement. You will need to repeat the answers to those questions. These new rules and made up interactions will only have your collective memory to verify or answer. (Although writing these things down or plotting them out in a creative game will help).

Getting into headspace, or creative with it is very difficult when there's nothing there to see. I hope this helps!

[bayofwolves]

Rereading Against the Tide

After two months... we're so back.

Apologies once again for the impromptu hiatus! I'm excited to get back to these rereads. It's been a while, so I'll explain the purpose of these posts again: This is not a full analysis, but rather a compilation of details I find interesting or missed when I was a younger reader. I'm rereading the whole series to gather information for A Revised History of Erdas, so there may be some commentary from time to time on how I plan to change or expand on certain plot points.

Let's find out what horrors are in store for our heroes this time!

Finally, Abeke gets her own cover! My girl!! They change how Uraza looks on every cover, but I like how she looks here. I especially love the purple wisps coming from her; how cool would it be if that happened every time your spirit animal appeared out of passive state?

Erdas has the Fahrenheit scale, apparently. Well, that's gotta go. The top of Muttering Rock is about 200 degrees, or 93 degrees Celsius -- leagues hotter than anything ever recorded on Earth.

I forgot how horrifying this opening chapter was. Gerathon pushing a little boy's body past its limits just to deliver a message to Kovo... awful.

Abeke seems to have scar tissue pain, possibly due to nerve damage, from the stab wound Tahlia dealt her in Fire and Ice. She mentions that even though it has mostly healed, she still experiences pain there, particularly in colder weather. If only this hadn't been forgotten by the next book -- it would have been super interesting, in my opinion, to see one of our protagonists deal with lasting effects from an injury they received.

Meilin referring to Shane as Abeke's "Conqueror boyfriend" has been occupying space in my head since 2015. We should have had more of this energy. (I need to have one of the Conquerors or Redcloaks call Abeke Shane's Greencloak girlfriend in return. Drina most definitely would.)

Kalani and her people share similarities with the Māori of Earth. They have the same tattoos and concept of tapu.

Tangaroa is the name of the Māori atua (god) of the sea. I love finding little references to the Earth culture a region of Erdas was inspired by. They did the same with Tiddalik, Tahlia's water-holding frog, who shares a name with the real-life Australian legend he is based on.

I wish Abeke had gotten the chance to see Leopard, the baby orangutan, again. They were so sweet. Also, the authors should have kept this habit she has of rescuing baby animals going for longer. Picture this: She encounters something a little more deadly this time. Dotes on it for a bit and nurses it back to health or helps it find its way back to its family. It remembers how Abeke helped it, and in her hour of need comes to her rescue.

At least there's a cleansing ceremony (this presumably refers to noa) to rid someone of tapu. Now why didn't the authors have Kalani do this for Rollan in The Evertree instead of having her go against her beliefs for his sake? Man... I should have been in the writers' room.

"This quest is leaving a lot of burned bridges in our wake. I fear we, and perhaps all Greencloaks by extension, will no longer be so welcome afterward in places like this." YES! Finally, someone considers the consequences of their actions. It's back to "the ends justify the means" in the next paragraph, but at least there was this fleeting moment of realization.

Nightshade Island was wiped from the world maps after the First Devourer War, along with Stetriol. I wonder if there were other places associated with the Conquerors and/or Kovo and Gerathon that were deemed "tainted" and erased from the history books. This also prompts a nitpick from me -- I wish the maps shown at the beginning of each book were more tailored to the book/arc. They added the Evertree and the Petral Mountain range in the second arc, which is great, but I want a whole lot more of that detail. In the first arc, the map could have had Stetriol missing from it. We could have had its first appearance on Immortal Guardians's map, once the Greencloaks could deny their existence no longer. Other important locations deserved to be on there too, maybe being added book by book. Glengavin. The Lake of the Elephant. Samis (perhaps disappearing without further comment after Fire and Ice). Cabaro's oasis. Muttering Rock. Zourtzi. The Place of Desolation. The list goes on. They all deserved to be put on the maps! I rest my case!

Meilin casually saying "I can still control Jhi" sent a shiver down my spine. It's so out of place. Like, how can she have spent so much time with the Greencloaks and still be so fundamentally wrong about the spirit animal bond?

So Timote was the heir to the Hundred Isles before the Conquerors captured him. And knowing how male-dominated monarchies work, the other brother, Piri, would likely have taken the throne before Kalani even if he is younger than her. The Conquerors knew what they were doing by killing the previous rulers and taking their two male children hostage. They wanted to leave the Hundred Islanders leaderless. To totally incapacitate them. I bet they were in for a shock when Kalani proved her capability as queen.

Feliandor is wearing a red cloak in Rollan's vision. Most certainly a throwaway detail, but it didn't stop me from sitting up and pointing at the page when I read it.

Rollan sees something vaguely familiar in Feliandor's face, and we have to wait an entire book before learning that he must have been reminded of Shane, his descendant. Seriously, the foreshadowing for multiple big events in the first arc is really well done. I love discovering all the little hints pointing towards Shane being the true Devourer, or Meilin being the mole. This is one thing the many authors successfully worked together on.

While the vision on Nightshade Island is one of my favourite parts of the book, something bugs me about it. Why did only Rollan have this vision? Despite Tarik and Meilin being right beside him as it happened, neither of them saw what he did. It would have been a lot better if they all had the same vision at once. If the echoes of what happened on that island centuries earlier still linger, shouldn't they appear to anyone who visits? Why would it only be one person out of three?

Peleke, the Komodo dragon, poses a brief threat to Abeke, Conor and Kalani on Sunlight Island. Except... his species should go by a different name in this world. Komodo dragons were named as such because they originate from Komodo Island on planet Earth. This is such an easy fix. Just name any one of the Hundred Isles and have the species come from there.

Abeke instinctively knows how to ride Uraza, despite it being her first time doing so. Was she Tembo in another life? Kidding. She is his direct descendant in ARHoE, though.

God, the scene with Tarik saying goodbye to the Four and begging them to come back to him haunts me. Tarik will never see Abeke or Meilin again, and he will die not knowing if they are alive or dead. He will die believing that he failed them.

I'm really glad to see some development of Tarik here. For all his appearances and importance to our protagonists, he is quite a flat character. But here, we get a good look into his headspace. He loves the Four deeply, like a father should love his children. He doesn't want them to go where he can't protect them. He wonders if the Greencloaks are doing the right thing by sending such young people into battles they might not return from, still thinking about what Barlow said all the way back in Wild Born. I need to see more of this Tarik.

"[Rollan] wondered if he and his friends would survive long enough to see a day when they could just enjoy a place like this -- the sunshine, swimming with seals, the warm water." As soon as the war was over, the Four definitely came back to Oceanus and had a beach day. They deserve a vacation after all of this, and I'm positive they took many of them. It'll be fun to figure out what they all got up to in the year between arcs for ARHoE.

I've talked about this before, but I love all the moments that suggest the Four Fallen will one day return to their old forms. I don't believe this would happen in their human partners' lifetimes, but in any case, it would be cool to see it come to pass.

Despite both Mulop and Briggan being visionary Great Beasts, neither of them foresaw Kovo using Feliandor to start a war. How convenient for him.

Abeke is able to spot Shane in the mass of Conquerors by his blond hair, which makes me wonder: What if blond people were considered a rarity in Erdas? What if golden hair was a trait exclusive to Stetriol, and most of the world had never seen it before? That would be kind of fun. (Yes, I know there's Conor, but he's more of a redhead in ARHoE.)

"Not far below her, Uraza was grappling with a huge doglike creature that Abeke thought might be a dingo." I know it's mentioned a few paragraphs later that Tarik used books to teach her about animals that were foreign to her (which is really cute), but dingoes are native to Stetriol, which the Greencloaks effectively erased from existence. There are probably no encyclopedias still in circulation that include Stetriolan flora or fauna. My headcanon is that Shane told Abeke about the animals that are native to his homeland, and that's how she knows about dingoes.

"She drew her bow back and aimed, trying to ignore her thudding heart. The man stood on an outcropping, shouting orders at the fighters scrambling up behind him. Her sharp arrow tip was pointed directly down at Zerif's heart." The way this scene directly parallels Abeke's attempt to shoot infected Zerif in The Burning Tide... wow. Ignoring canon and thinking of ARHoE where she does kill him in the end, this was written in the stars. It is her destiny.

"Stabbing, scratching pain seared through her, but she gained control of one hand --" So resisting Gerathon's mind control can cause physical pain. Interesting.

I know Rollan was kind of forced to leave Meilin, but couldn't he have swooped in on Great Essix and carried Abeke out of there AT LEAST? Not even Meilin can fight a giant gyrfalcon.

Gerathon is not any good at controlling people, damn. Maybe she's rusty after so many years.

This was a great read, as they all are. It was a nice refresher after Fire and Ice, with all the callbacks to what our heroes had faced in the previous books. Seriously, Fire and Ice was a mess in terms of continuity. But Tui understood the assignment. My favourite parts of this one were the beautiful butch lesbian that is Kalani, Abeke becoming mom to another baby animal and riding Great Uraza Tembo-style, the Feliandor vision and Mulop, ever a delight to read. I really enjoyed the people and culture of Oceanus; so excited for Kalani to reappear in the coming books. And, of course, the reveal of Meilin being the mole all along was utterly perfect. The amount of thought and planning that went into this decision, the layers of foreshadowing building up to this horrible truth... it deserves all the praise.

We're at the lowest point we've ever been, and it's about to get even lower.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[johaerys-writes]

Do you block these people who spend their time complaining about TSOA, Patrochilles, Patroclus, Achilles, etc etc? Bc before I wouldn't block it unless it was a bot or really unbearable because I thought "ah unnecessary", but then I started blocking more people simply bc they frequently showed up bringing topics I didn't care about and my life on Tumblr became really great. But if you block it and it continues to appear, then idk... maybe your algorithm is simply more infernal than mine

Yeah same, I used to be really reluctant and didn't want to block anyone but honestly blocking and muting and blacklisting is the only way one can have a positive online experience imo and I suggest everyone do it! But unfortunately there are certain topics that are brought up again and again ad nauseum and Tumblr likes to throw those posts in my recommended and FYP pages for some reason, and as much as I block I can't catch everything lol! So like I often scroll in bed in the morning before getting up (bad habit lmao) and then I'll see some random post regurgitating the same tired discourse and it sucks, man! It blows!! It hurts my feelings lmao!!!! Like these are my blorbos you're talking about, be kind 😂 Some are easier to ignore than others, and like I GET that a lot of people don't have the same understanding of tsoa and the iliad and patroclus and patrochilles etc etc that I do and that’s fine, everyone's entitled to their own opinion but like...... a lot of it is based on wrong information or complete misinterpretation of the canon or someone managing to read a passage or event in the shallowest way possible and idk WHY the algorithm decides I have to read these things every few days lmao. I just think it would be sooooo much simpler if we could all enjoy the things we enjoy and not shit on what others enjoy, there is enough room for everyone and no one has to be excluded! If you love warrior Pat for instance and aren't a fan of non warrior Pat, just engage with that and hype the works that show that or better yet create your own art/writing/whatever, without trying to take those that love non warrior Pat down a peg. It's literally so unnecessary and ruins everyone's time. Especially when we're talking about characters who have been around for millennia and there are bound to be hundreds if not thousands of different versions of them. From Homer to Shakespeare to Madeline Miller to Hades game, everyone created their own versions of those characters and they're all valid and no one's worse or lesser. It's simply a matter of preference (or if you're REALLY brave and wrinkly brained you love every single one of those versions and go feral thinking about them and never know a moment of true peace LMAO)

I don’t often talk about it here bc I don't like to spread negativity or start drama or rain on anyone’s parade, and ignoring those posts is the simplest thing in the world (just keep scrolling), but like there are certain topics that keep coming up over and over and over again and I WISH ppl would see beyond that, it's literally not that hard and I promise you'll be soooo much happier for it

[ackermom]

an excerpt from the post-canon christie-esque jearmin buddy cop murder mystery i'm never going to finish

"The great Battle of Heaven and Earth," Mr. Jordan booms in admiration. He braces his knife and fork, raising an inquisitive eyebrow as he chuckles. "Now, there is a story that ought to be told!"

Forks scrape and still against plates, a silence falling over the room. The whole dining table seems to falter, from the Eldians at their uneasy places to the rest of the diplomats, avoiding each other's eyes in the sudden wariness that surrounds them. Even the steward blanches. He excuses himself without a word, disappearing with the water jug through a side door. Only the priest seems unperturbed, as he always is, his knife and fork still steadily working across his plate. Yet in the scraping, stifling silence, it takes every hesitant gaze glancing down the table for Armin to realize they are waiting for him to respond.

"Oh," is all he can say. The taste of the silverware seems to stick in his mouth. He swallows. "Well, it is a story we have all heard many times over, I'm sure."

"Surely you've had your fill from the newspapers," Jean says on his right. All eyes flicker to him instead, and he clears his throat, making a show of reaching for the wine and offering it to those down the table. Armin has never felt so grateful for an intervention. 

Jem Jordan, however, remains unmoved, and he huffs, or laughs, letting out a coarse breath that heaves his shoulders. "I've read the newspapers, yes, my boy. But it is quite another thing to have the heroes who saved the world sitting around my dinner table, isn't it?"

Someone scoffs. Mr. Jordan's eyes flicker down the length of the table, his smile somewhat less syrupy sweet than before. My table, Armin thinks, meeting Jean's gaze; he supposes he would be amused, if everyone wasn't so on edge, how easily it is to read Jean's annoyance with the tycoon in the palpable frown that's curling across his face. The others heard the same remark, and Armin can see it on their faces too— this table, nor this ship, does not belong to anyone other than the Azumabitos, though on Armin's other side, Mr. Oyama is smiling with everlasting politleness as if he had not heard the misstep. Further down the other end, Miss Hermann turns from the table to clear her throat, her eyes never meeting another's. It is Mato beside her who speaks, letting out a huff as his knife and fork clatter to the table. 

"I'm sorry," he interjects, his impatient tone making it clear that he is less offering an apology than embarking on a manifesto. He glances around at the rest of them, his brow working itself into keen frustration. "But that name is grating, isn't it? The Battle of Heaven and Earth. Someone says that, and we're just supposed to worship at their feet? The whole business is rotten if you ask me."

"Hear, hear," Pieck mutters, so low under her breath that only those nearby hear it. Beside her, Annie has returned to her food with diligence, and she eats steadily, carrying on as if she is unaware of the argument about to erupt. More likely, she's just bored, having heard it all and more before. Reiner, on the other hand, has hardly touched his plate, and he stares blankly at the table, as if each swell and sway of the ship back-and-forth in the water is all that he can grasp right now.

"Rest assured, the name had nothing to do with us," Armin finally manages to say.

Mato's intense gaze jumps to him. For a moment, the brooding look is so familiar it sends Armin into silence again. He swallows back the lump in his throat and loosens his white-knuckled grip on his wine glass.

"The people who were there that day spoke of what they saw," he says. "It would not be right for me to deny their experience."

Mato stares. "I see."

"I thought you, of all people, would appreciate a great show of heroism," Mr. Jordan exclaims. His knife and fork saw readily through a piece of meat. "Now come to find out, you are a cynic through and through, Mr. Rosario. Those who saved our world from certain despair have no doubt earned the right to tell their tales— and the right to boast about it, if you ask me."

"I didn't say it wasn't well-earned," Mato says curtly. He pauses a moment before his hands return hesitantly to his fork. "Believe it or not, I am glad the world is still here. But there are some of us who would prefer to hear a less sensational version of the truth."

Mr. Jordan mutters something Armin can't hear from the other end of the table— but it does not escape Mato.

"I will not be accused of being a denier!" he shoots back at once, his utensils clattering to the table. "I know all too well what the Rumbling did, and what else it could have done if it hadn't been stopped. I'm only saying—"

"Oh, come now, must we use such terms?" Even Mr. Jordan sits back from his plate, a disgruntled frown pursing beneath his mustache, though he does not once glance in Mato's direction. It is beneath him, Armin thinks, to consort with revolutionaries, even to look at them. No wonder he is on the far side of the table. "This may yet be a polite dinner."

Miss Hermann looks up for the first time, her fork tenderly clinking on her plate. It seems few of them can stomach both the conversation and the food. She glances back down to her plate when she catches Armin looking at her, but her gaze widens and raises with a start when Mato's chair peals back from the table, bumping into hers.

"You wish to speak of great battles, but you choose false names," Mato exclaims coldly. "'The Great Event', is that what you would call it? Such simple words allow you to hide beneath the ugly truth of the devastation."

He towers over where Mr. Jordan sits. Between them remains only the priest and the empty seat for the princess. Armin feels Jean tense, shifting forward in his chair as if to spring into action. These dinner knives are not sharp enough to hurt, should one fling them across the table. But held at close rang in the fist of an angry young man who has lost much of his homeland— Armin does not know what they would could do to stop him.

"That is even worse than speaking of heaven and earth," Mato spits. "What would a man like you know about how the rest of us live?"

"Now, look here, I should say that those who were there have the right to speak their minds. And as for my own experience, you cross the ling, young man—"

"To speak of the heavens and the earth is more apt than our mortal souls might know."

It is Father Emir who speaks, his pleasant and placid voice washing through the argument like a river over rocks. He does not look up at the men beside him, nor at the rest of them. His gaze remains on his plate, his fork moving purposefully in his aged trembling hands.

"For it is a constant battle to understand the wicked nature of this world," he continues, "and we must struggle with the ones from beyond to know the truth they would impart on us. Heaven and earth are only two mirrored planes on which we see our true selves."

He pops a fork of peas into his mouth and looks up with a plain smile. His gaze lands directly on Armin.

"You speak of truth," Mato says a moment later, his brow furrowed as he rounds on the priest. "Yet not one of us know your purpose on this ship. I recall that the delegation agreed not to include a religious envoy. My nation's participation in the peace accords hinged on this decision. If we are to be baited and switched throughout these proceedings—"

"Gentlemen, please!"

Mr. Oyama's nervous, lilting voice finally breaks through the rising argument. Armin had watched him from the corner of his eye, every second closer to standing from his seat. It is only now that he leaps up, his wine glass in one hand, the other outstretched as he shares his most amiable smile around the dining room.

"Each one of us has a purpose to serve on this voyage," he says. "Let us try to enjoy one another's company, and the journey around the coast. There are many days ahead of us before we reach Paradis Island."

His presence seems to remind the diplomats of their mission, and the tension in the room softens with every word he says. Soon, they have all turned back to their plates, the dinner continuing in silence. Armin takes a gulp of wine. Connie dives back into his meal, seemingly grateful for the end of the diversion, while Annie scrapes the last few peas from her plate, leaving it spotlessly empty. Jean lets out his breath. Reiner looks yet worse. On the other end of the table, Mr. Jordan has resumed sawing into his meat, while Mato stabs his potatoes in silence. The priest, between them, finishes eating, stands with his plate, and shuffles out of the dining room without so much as a word— only a faraway look in his eyes and a gentle smile on his wisened face.

Armin catches Miss Hermann's eyes again. This time, she's the one looking at him, watching as he observes the others around the table. He raises his wine glass an inch, nodding to her, and a flicker of recognition flashes in her eyes, though she does not smile before she looks away. He thinks she understands— even in these brave new times, Eldians must stick together.

Jem Jordan coughs, huffs, and clears his throat as he clears his plate and sets aside his utensils. He reaches for his wine glass, swallowing, and nods at Armin from the other end of the table. "But have you considered writing a book?"

[gripes-withthesun]

some people reblogging that addition with the story about my friends and I gushing over each other behind each other's backs are saying "or you could just say that to their faces" or "this is why you need to tell them instead of keeping it in your mind" but the thing is!! I got to know about it in the first place BECAUSE I was told.

When I exited the staff room after our discussion on the paper presentations I found them talking and they said "we were just talking about how cool you are" and i was like "no way! We were talking last night about how cool you are!" That incident was reassuring because it helped us open up to each other as a friend group too. When I hear a song that reminds me of my friend I text her now and say 'I think I like this song only because I imagine it in your voice'. When I'm at some fun event I text my friend saying 'wish you were here with me'. But the knowledge that our friends don't "secretly hate us" had to come from that incident for me.

Because at the very centre of it is this insecurity that they might lie when they're saying it to our face, they might be saying it to be nice, they might be pretending to like us for whatever reason, they might have liked us once but don't anymore and don't know how to say it, etc etc. And I think it's far more reassuring for a lot of us to know that even when we aren't there, even when there is no impetus to be lying, even then our friends will express their love towards us. Not just to us, but to anyone who will listen. It's a beautiful thing!

And likewise there are so many people tagging the story with how they have a hard time expressing their affection too, or they don't feel ready to gush about someone to their face, and that's not a flaw, that's also coming from the same insecure place of coming off as caring too much, as being too invested, as being too close, as being too "desperate", all of which has been used against a lot of people. Or it's simply a difference in communication styles and love languages. And that's why just knowing that your friends' love for you is still constant and expressed without your presence is reassuring and opens up more avenues to communicate all this in the first place.

Lot of people, especially fellow autistic people👋🏻, who are saying that's not been their experience? That's absolutely valid. Because it hadn't been mine either until I was in college, and it really is hard for neurodivergent and particularly autistic folk when every friendship is a guessing game of when their patience with your lack of social understanding runs out and they start "dropping hints" that they don't wanna be friends anymore but you never pick up those hints. Those insecurities don't just come out of nowhere and that's why it takes us long to feel secure enough in a friendship to both 1) know that our friends love us for realsies and 2) be able to express the sheer magnitude of our own affection without fear of it being another thing for them to mock. It takes time to feel secure in our connections again! And that's okay we're all just trying to find our place and recovering, and that's why incidents like those mean so much to people like us.

Sorry about this getting so long, but tldr: "just tell them they're cool to their face instead!" hasn't worked for many of us because of valid experiences of ostracization. It's a great practice to have to tell your friends you love them! But for anyone who isn't feeling secure enough to do so, it's okay to express affection in other ways. Gush about your friends to other friends! Maybe even with that friend present. Because that first time my friends said "we were just talking about how cool you are" it was said in this casual manner but that opened up the gates for much more ardent and sincere expressions of love

[littlemessyjessi]

"Untamed": BTS 8th Member x Park Jimin: Finale!

"Staring Exercise": Finale!

BTS 8th member series Untamed

Park Jimin x Mae Jae

🖤

Scenario: Jae is finally back from her vacation time with her family. As usual,  it's back to business for BTS and their schedules.  Today they are filming and have decided to do the social experiment where you stare into each other's eyes. 

These include the scenarios with Jae and each member.

🖤

Jae took a seat on the stool, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh heck, am I first?" She asked as she turned towards the camera.  "Why is it always me?"

"Because you're the oldest!"

She rolled her eyes as the unmistakable voice of Jin even if she couldn't see him.

"And yet you have no respect for your noona, Seokjin." She laughed.

Internationally,  technically she was six months and it was constant topic between the two of them... even if they were both born in the same year.

So really she wasn't his noona at all. 

But it irked him… so she used it every chance she got. 

He finally made his way into her line of sight with a smirk donning his features.  

"Because you're not my noona. You're only like six months older than me." He said taking a seat across from her.

She rolled her eyes again, "That's still six months more than you."

"Well, at least I look six months younger than you forever." He said.

"Fitting, man child." She said. 

"Namjoon,  mom and dad are fighting again! "

"Be quiet, Hoseok." Jin and Jae said together before bursting into laughter. 

"Ah, the joys of coparenting." Jae said and Jin gave her a long suffering sigh. 

"Do not call me your-"

"So what are me and the baby daddy doing today?" She cut him off.

"Yah!" He complained before he launched into full rage rap. "I am not your baby daddy! I'm too young for children! And I could never spawn with you. Our children would be beautiful but evil! Does this look like the face of someone who can deal with that? How could you do this to me?!"

"Pipe down, baby daddy." She said over the laughter of everyone in the room before turning to the camera man. "Please continue."

"Today we're doing the social experiment of staring into each other's eyes for four minutes.  We're breaking you off into groups and then pairs. Then we'll switch until the eight of you have all had a chance to participate with one another. "

"Aish, whyyyy? She's going to steal my soul." Jin whined and Jae smacked his arm. "See! Abuse!"

Jae rolled her eyes.

"Who do you think will do well with this experience?" The camera asked.

"Suga will hate this." Jin answered.  "He's not so good with eye contact."

"Says the man who compulsively winks if you look at him for more than three seconds. " Jae said.

Jin narrowed his eyes at her, "I loathe you."

"The correct pronunciation is love, dear, but I see that you're already overwhelmed so I'll let it slide." She said before turning back to the camera. "I think Jimin will probably do the best. He's all about eye contact. He gets a little shy sometimes but I think he can do it. Possibly V.  He can stare right into your soul."

"Alright, you two,  please face each other. You're allowed to blink and you may speak to one another.  But you have to keep direct eye contact. Understand?"

The both of them nodded before turning to face each other. 

"Great.  Your time starts when the beep  sounds and an alarm will go off when your time is up."

Jae looked at Jin and he couldn't help but laugh, cracking instantly. 

"Yah!" She yelled at him before turning to the camera. "Do over, please."

The director nodded and the beep sounded again. 

Jae held her fist up at Jin and locked eyes with him.

"You better get it together,  Seokjin." She threatened. 

"Or what?"

"Or I'll unplug your computer in the middle of your game."

His eyes widened comically.

"That's monstrous."

She shrugged, "That's war. So don't test me. You make it through these four minutes with me and I'll buy you cake. You don't and I will make you miserable."

"So violent." He laughed. 

She shrugged again and laughed when he winked at her.

"And so it begins." She said winking back.

"It's my habit. Stop bullying me." He whined.

"Your ears are turning red too." She said. "And your neck.  Oh look, that little vein is starting to pop out!"

"Yah, stop! You're gonna make me fail!" He accused.

"Alright, alright.  So let's talk then, I guess. " she said.

"Did you enjoy your time with your family?" He asked.

"I did. It was very healing. " she said. 

"Good.  You need more of that." He said.

"We all do." She agreed.

"You certainly do. I see how much you put on yourself sometimes." He said.

"Things have to be done and someone needs to do it. " she said.

"But even when you are supposed to be relaxing, I still see you working. Like you never turn it off." He said.

"I guess I have some trouble with that." She said.

"You should do nothing.  Sleep more. Play games. Eat good foods. " he said.

"I'm sure you're right."  She said.  "Maybe I just don't know how."

"I would teach you. " he said.

"I'm sure you would, Jinnie. I appreciate that." She said.

The two of them were quiet again as they stared into each other's eyes.

It was a rare occurrence for them.

They were usually bickering like children. 

There weren't often serious moments between them.

"Hey." He said.

"Hmm?" She asked.

"Thanks." He said. 

"For what?" She asked. 

"For always being there." He said. "When I asked and more importantly when I didn't."

Jae's gaze softened on his.

"Don't mention it.  Thank you. For always helping me even when I fought you every step of the way." She said.

He nodded.

The two of them tapered off into silence again just staring at each other. 

The lingering feeling of mutual respect and care permeating the room.

The timer went off and the two of them blinked. 

"How was that?" The director asked.

"A little intense." Jin said. "I don't think I've ever stared into your eyes like that."

"Did I snatch your soul?" Jae teased.

He patted his chest, "Still seems intact for the moment."

Jae chuckled.

"Jae, how about you?" The director asked.

"I think I feel the same.  It was intense but not necessarily bad." She said.   "We're the 92 liners and the oldest. So I think a lot of the time we've spent back to back or shoulder to shoulder,  ya know. Just ready to take care of the others as a united front."

Jin nodded, "I agree with that.  Because even though we've obviously known each other all this time and had many conversations,  I still don't remember having ever done anything like that. I didn't mind it though."

"Me either." Jae said, turning towards him. "I feel closer to you..."

Jin narrowed his eyes at her, "Don't you da-"

"Baby Daddy."

Jin rolled his eyes before he was sent off to pair with another member and Yoongi entered the room. 

Jae couldn't help but laugh a bit. 

He was already uncomfortable and it showed.

"Who'd they pair you with?" She asked as he took a seat.

"Jiminie." He said. 

Jae burst into laughter before turning to the camera.  "Y'all are wrong for that."

"Why?" The director asked.

"Because you paired the person who hates eye contact with the one who loves it. And his first one? That's cold. " she laughed.

"At Least it ripped the bandaid off." Yoongi said.  "You ready?"

"Damn, boy. You in a hurry?" She asked as they turned towards each other. 

"Just want to get it over with.  It makes me anxious, I guess." He said locking eyes with her as the beep sounded. 

"I guess I can understand that. " she said. "So you wanna sit in silence for four minutes or what?"

"Please God, no." He said, eyes widening. 

Jae laughed, "Well,  then I'm going to take this opportunity to embarrass you."

"Jae, please."

"I am going to use this time to tell you how much I love you because you have to sit here and you can't look away." She smirked. 

"Please have mercy. " he whined.

"I'm serious, Yoon.  I love you.  Like I'm so fucking , oh, shoot, sorry. I didn't mean to curse. " she said, "I just meant I'm really proud of you,  ya know. Like it's more than your professional accomplishments.  I think I'm just really proud to see who you are, ya know." She said.

He sat there staring at her for a bit longer.

His eyes watered and his lip wobbled and he finally cracked.

"Fuck..." he said finally looking away from Jae and the camera.

Jae scooted her chair closer to his and took his hand between hers.

"I'm sorry I made you cry but I mean it.  I love you so much.  You make me so proud to know you."  She whispered.

"I love you too. " he whispered.  "I didn't think this would affect me like this. I'm sorry."

"Well, to be fair, I did punch you in the feels. " she laughed before turning to the camera.  "If we have a penalty for this,  I'll take it.  I did play dirty and thwacked him in the heart."

"Can't believe you. " he laughed. "You knew I just came from a room with Jiminie staring at me like a weirdo and then you do this to me.  You two deserve ea-"

His eyes widened when he realized he almost let it slip but she just patted his hand.

Soon, Yoongi was replaced with Hoseok who looked at her suspiciously. 

"Why does Suga-hyung look like he's been crying?" He asked.

"Because I told him that I loved him." She said.

"Oh." He said.  "Well, I know that you love me."

Jae laughed,  "I don't doubt that. "

"Although with your recent behavior,  I seriously reconsider it." He said. 

"Oh?" She asked.

"It's been three days since I've gotten a kiss on the cheek. Three. Three." He said.  "You deprived me of your love and affection for your entire holiday and then you do this to me."

Jae rolled her eyes at his decision to be theatrical before she leaned forward and grabbed his face and placed a kiss to each cheek and his forehead. 

"Better?" She asked.

"You know, somehow that is a completely different experience when I keep eye contact with you. " He said.  "That's slightly terrifying. "

Jae shook her head and simply passed a hand through his hair.

"I remember when we first started and I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and you'd come over to my bunk and play with my hair until I fell asleep." He said, head leaning into her touch.

"Well you were tired and you needed sleep. We all had a lot on our shoulders back then.  We still do.  It's just different now." She said. 

"I missed my mama so much then." He admitted. "I still do but it was really hard then."

"You're close to your mama." Jae acknowledged.  "I'm sure you missed her alot."

He nodded,  "Can I give you a kiss back?"

Jae lifted her brows and laughed.

"I can already see the JaeHopers losing their minds." She said. 

"Just a forehead kiss." He giggled. 

"Sure." She shrugged. 

Hoseok's long fingers splayed across her cheeks and his heart shaped lips pressed to her forehead. 

"I don't think I've ever done that to you. " he said. "You're usually the one giving affection to me."

"You hug me all the time,  Hobi." She said.

"Its different. " he said.  "It's gentle."

"I agree." she nodded. "A forehead kiss is affection in it's purest form." 

The next few minutes spent between Jae and Hoseok consisted of him making cute faces at her trying to get her to crack and her just smiling or laughing at him in fondness. 

Soon he was sent away to stare at Jungkook while Namjoon replaced him. 

"I'm not trying to take this awful punishment so you sit there and behave yourself." he informed her. 

Jae laughed, "Oh, damn.  You going all Daddy Joon on me?" 

He wrinkled his nose and looked away from her in digust. 

"Ha!" she laughed. 

"Aish! Jae!" He complained. 

"I literally didn't do anything!"  she laughed. 

"You can't just- " he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "You can not call me Daddy.  That's weird. You're like my sister." 

"Ok, A, I didn't like address you as Daddy.   I referred to you as 'Daddy Joon'.  That's Army's nickname, not mine.  I know you're a helpless clumsy little baby." she teased causing him to roll his eyes. 

"You deserve it if Jungkookie slays you." he remarked as he left the room to be paired with Seokjin.  

"Cheeky little twit!" she called after him. 

However, no less than three seconds later, the maknae was standing in the door with a look of determination in those big doe eyes. 

"Oh god." Jae laughed. 

Jungkook grinned wickedly, "I haven't lost yet, Noona." 

"This isn't a competition, Jungkook." Jae reminded him. 

"Everything is a competition." he shrugged. "Go!" 

"That's my job." the director said. 

Jae snorted. 

"Go.." the director said softly. 

Jungkook was staring at her, refusing to blink. 

"You know we can blink, right?" she asked. 

"I'm making it challenging." he said, elbows on his knees staring her down. 

Jae lifted a brow at him but kept his gaze. 

She settled back in her chair to get comfortable, her gaze softening more and more until she hadn't even realized that she was crying. 

It was only the look on Jungkook's face that alerted her. 

"Noona?" he whispered. "Are you ok?" 

"Yeah." she sniffled. "I'm fine. Why?" 

"You're crying." he said, brows furrowing. 

"What?" she said wiping her face to feel the wetness on her face. 

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned. 

"Nothing." she said sniffling again.  "I just, I guess I'm just really proud of you, Koo.  You've grown into such an amazing young man.  One second you're this young kid following me around everything and now you're just.. this amazing person.  I'm just so proud of you." 

Jae cracked, a sob breaking out of her and Jungkook, who couldn't stand to see her cry, followed after and immediately pulled her into a hug. 

Both of them losing for breaking eye contact before the bell sounded. 

"Ah, shit.  I caused you to lose, Kookie.  And hell I didn't even win." she chuckled trying to make light of the situation and pull away. 

However, he just pulled her back in, pushing her head onto his shoulder, "Don't worry about it.  I got you.  You know I do." 

She squeezed him in a tight hug, the both of them pulling away sniffling after some time. 

Soon after he was replaced with Taehyung who burst into the room and demanded that he complete this challenge with hair pats. 

And damn it if Jae didn't comply because he was just as spoiled rotten as the rest of them. 

In the end, Taehyung lost the challenge because Jae played with his hair and he fell asleep. 

Like always. 

She just let him, taking a moment to stare at his face and the way his lashes dusted his cheeks. 

She spoke quietly to the camera, "I'll take the punishment for this one.  I don't think he slept well last night." 

"He's the one that insisted though." the director laughed. 

Jae shrugged, "I'm his Noona. It's my job to look after him.  I'll take the punishment." 

"If you say so." 

Eventually, she gently woke the slumbering teddy bear and sent him on his way. 

There was only one left but she heard him before she saw him. 

Undoubtedly, laughing at Taehyung's sleepy face in the hallway. 

Park Jimin entered the room looking so beautiful that angels must've been jealous. 

Hell, Jae was jealous. 

But also, incredibly grateful that she could call him hers. 

Behind the camera, he winked at her causing the heat to crawl up her skin a little. 

The little shit was flirty even when he didn't mean to be. 

Though she had no doubts that he damn sure meant to be in that moment. 

"I'm sure you're just thrilled with his challenge." she remarked as he made his way over. 

"I'm not unhappy." he smirked as he scooted his chair close enough to hers that their knees touched. 

"Same rules apply." the director.  "However, the two of you are the last ones because Jae let Taehyung sleep a little longer earlier.  So the others are joining for this last one." 

"Oh great…" Jae rolled her eyes as the rest of the members filed in. "An audience." 

"Count down starting in 3, 2, 1." the director said. "Go." 

Jimin took Jae's hands in hers, bringing them up to his lips to kiss the knuckles. 

"Jimin…" she said, widening her at him. 

His gaze never wavered, "You know, all those years ago, the first time I saw you, I knew right then that you were the only one for me." 

"Jimin, what are you…?" she started, gesturing to the camera and everyone else. 

He simply kissed her knuckles again. 

"And I knew that at the time, I was too young.  I knew you had no interest in me at the time.  I knew that it would take time.  I had to watch you date, fall in love with people that weren't me.  I had to watch when you were heart broken.  And I did.  I'd do it all again. Because I know what I have.  I waited so long and finally, finally the stars aligned and the universe smiled on me because finally the woman of my dreams saw me not just as someone she loved but as a partner.   That's all I've ever wanted, sweetheart." 

Jae swallowed. 

She had no idea what he was doing. 

She was well aware that they were on camera and in front of people but in that moment, all of that faded away. 

She was lost in Jimin's eyes and surrounded by his voice. 

"Jae." he said, sliding down off the chair and onto his knee.  His fingers opening a box containing a ring. "Will you make me the happiest man alive and honor me by becoming my wife?" 

Jae's mouth fell open, tears spilled over her lashes and she completely fell apart. 

She felt his fingertips on her chin, lifting her face to his, "Baby?" 

Her eyes connected with his, the question hanging in the air between them. 

"Yes!" she struggled to get out. "Yes, yes, yes!" 

She was half crying, half laughing as he pulled her out of her chair and spun her around.  

The members all but stampeded over each other to get to the happy couple, cocooning them into a massive group hug of congratulations. 

And suddenly it dawn on Jae and she ripped herself from all of them, "How many of you fuckers knew about this?!" 

The reactions was a mixture of sheepish looks and coy smirks. 

She could've murdered them all in that moment and then she glanced at the camera. 

"Oh, shit.  Jimin, you do realize you've just outed us to the entire world, don't you?" she whined. 

Jimin smirked, pulling her down in a breathtaking kiss. 

When they parted he whispered, "Army will understand." 

And they did. 

Because to be completely honest, Army had been saying Jimin and Jae were getting married for years. 

There was a collective hashtag amongst Army. 

#jiminandjaefreakinfinally

.

HEllo my loves! I know this has taken FOREVER to post but the finale is finally here! I hope you enjoy it and look forward to updates to the other series as well as.....new projects! Kenny's Comeback is in full force!

Love,

K

@thickemadame

@toomanyfictionalboyfriends

@blackirisposts

@alisoncdariel

@therealmrshale

@thegreatirene

@angelus320

@thedarkwinterrose

@m-rae23

@shycupcakealissa

@minshookie29

@kelly-fushiguro345

@vj21

@btsiguess-kpop

@abc-abc1234-a

@pinkcherrybombs

@speedyhandsbonkpalace

@sunnysidesblog

@milkshakelol

@poopypantsmcgee666-blog

@lyn-g

@glassesandthunderthighs

@tacobacoyeet

@owenniasstars

@adventuresofnight

@queenlexusloverofbts

@leah-halliwell92

@amethyst09

@kalliravenne

@sullybot

@disneymarina

[spockvarietyhour]

I don’t your deal with the bucket, it’s well known Changelings can’t hold their form for too long and need to regenerate, and they probably got the bucket idea from Odo when he was in the Great Link. Also the whole “being able to track Changelings now” thing makes sense considering it’s been 30 years since the end of the Dominion War so Starfleet have had a long time to work on tracking them.

It's the clunkiest of writing!

Oh here's our all-powerful enemy from the Dominion War, that be anyone or anything....but they need a bucket. And not just any bucket but the exact same design Odo used! Look at us, we're clever we watched the show!

Did you, did you really now?

Especially since after Odo's first meeting with other changelings he stopped using the bucket, rather he began experimenting with just being goo anywhere! no bucket required, we got shapes to try!

I was sent into increasingly hysterical laughter this morning I thought, surely, surely they wouldn't be this dumb in writing, surely....

...Picard writers strike again!

And really, what did the bucket give us? Vindication that there was a Changeling infiltrator aboard? It was a waste of everyone's time. (Now, imagine a deadly serious Starfleet crew doing Bucket Search every few days during the Dominion War. Hell start pranking starfleet and leave a bucket in every room on a ship you're not on)

Now, I don't disagree with the advancements in thirty years that might allow them to track changelings, but the dismissive "Ah they're easy to detect" uhuh, uhuh, sure, that's why we had Changeling paranoia and fear episodes back on DS9, and just asks Doctor Bashir's colleagues how easy it was to spot the differences....

In conclusion, bad writing, based on poorly understood Changeling mechanics.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

ten books (to get to know me)

tagged by bestie andie #@femme--de--lettres and i couldn't be more excited.

Songs of the Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult- i read this as a teenager, and i quickly became obsessed with the way this story imparticular was told out of order. and not necessarily with flashback and flashforwards, but told straight up out of order that it acted as a sort of mystery. and the young love in this story was so exquisitely painful.

Almost like Being in Love by Steve Kluger- this was my first queer romance and its still one of my favorites. i have read and re-read this so many times my book is falling apart. this one really got me into atypical means of communication in my own writing and alternative ways to tell a story (the use of sticky notes, Memos, E-mails in this turned into the use of recipes and postcards in my own writing).

Little Weirds by Jenny Slate- i am obsessed with this woman (and will also say that Stage Fright is one of my favorite netflix comedy specials ever) and the vulnerability displayed in this book is exceptional

The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway- if we're going classic literature? Idk why this one isn't talked about more. something something about perseverance and putting the star in starting over and over again. we love a not quite happy ending here.

Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare- literally there is not a single romance that compares to this. this is the blueprint. Beatrice and Benedick are it.

A Leg to Stand On by Oliver Sacks- so first of all, if you've never read anything by Oliver Sacks, you should. I read him in my undergrad as like a baby baby and he basically picked my career for me, I was so inspired. Hes wrote a lot (RIP) but this one is one of his more anecdotal ones from HIS experience about being a "patient" instead of being a doctor for once in his life and it is so great.

Beloved by Toni Morrisson- RIP the Queen. This book leaves me speechless every time. No notes. Not one.

Mans Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl- I had the quote "opportunity lies in the way man bears his burdens" in my room for the longest time, and its still something that deeply resonates with me. as much as we cannot control our shit hand, or our circumstances, we still have choices. and i think a lot about choosing joy as an act of resistance.

Me Before You by JoJo Moyes- i hate the way the movie absolutely obliterated the message of this book. because, yes, it is a romance, but its more a story about self-love and compassion? and getting unstuck. like its not "me before you" as in YOU CHANGED MY LIFE, WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOU I AM NOT THE SAME. but "me before you" as in THANK GOD YOU CAME ALONG BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU and I will survive this life without you, that's fine because i am no longer who i was before you. i do not know her.

Disability Visibility by Alice Wong (or rather edited by her)- first person narratives of disabled folk in a modern context? yep. yep. yep. i need not say more.

(no pressure but i am going to tag @steelycunt because...yah.)

[pauli-victoria]

So, me and my friend we're going to the eras tour 11/11 on Buenos Aires and we been making our friendship bracelets. We meet up every Friday and sometimes my little cousin (9yo), my niece (7yo) and her niece (5yo) come along and help us cause they love making bracelets... The thing is that I always keep the materials and the bracelets at my niece's bedroom cause she never touch my things and they are at hand in case I feel like doing some more.. And everything was fine until this last Friday...That night we had a girls night with a few friends and family members and I decided not to go cause there was nobody who could watch over my niece since her mom and dad are working outside the city and I thought that it wasn't fair that my mom was the one who would always stays behind and watch over her so I told her that I was gonna stay at home and she asked me if I could watch over a family's daughter's friend so she could also go to the meeting and I said yes cause I've know her since she was born and is close in age with my niece... Everything was ok that night but then, the next morning I'm cleaning up my niece's bedroom and I realize that the thread for the bracelets is missing and the case where I keep the materials is broken. I ask my niece what happened and she says that she have no idea that it must has been the other girl I call her a liar and call her out for touching my things and she start to cry and I believe her because so far she never has done anything like it... Later that day we go out to a football game (soccer) and this girl is there but I don't say anything cause they are just kids and I can always buy more thread... So the next day I'm cleaning my niece's room cause she says that she have some makeup missing so we move the furniture and guess what... I found another bobbin of thread and is completely empty... So I ask again to my niece what happened but she say that she don't know... So just to be sure, I decide to check the box where I keep the finished bracelets and guess what there is 20 bracelets missing!!!!!

My niece is astonish, just like me and my mother... So I thought maybe I was wrong last time and decide to check the list of the bracelets we've already made, and the ugly truth is that in fact there is 20 bracelets that are missing...I was gonna let it go about the thread, but 20 missing bracelets isn't a joke... And I felt like crying... I was so angry that I almost cried and I can't just let it go so I'm gonna talk to this girl's mom, but the thing is I'm so angry that in the best case scenario I'm gonna cry and in the worst case scenario I'm just gonna start yelling about it... So I'm thinking about sending her a message about it so I don't tell her in public because she lives too far from me, so I can't go to her home and talk her about it, and the only times I see her it's om Sunday's football game but I'm not comfortable talking about it in such a crowded place, but I don't know if a text is the right way to handle the situation... The worst thing about all this is that it ruins all the experience of making bracelets, because me and my friend and our little helpers we've had a great time doing them, and then this other girl stole them, and now I feel that every time I see the bracelets will be reminded of this horrible situation and nothing will be the same... Like, even if I get them back eventually, if I trade them, the other person will have a bracelet that's been stolen and that makes me feel so bad... Because I'll get one that it's fill with good energy and good memories and the other person will get something that's been dirty with this horrible moment