#everything about this image is making me emotional

[thesirencult]

Lunar Eclipse In Pisces, Tarot Reading

@thesirencult

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Pile 1

“When a young tree is injured it grows around that injury. As the tree continues to develop, the wound becomes relatively small in proportion to the size of the tree. Gnarly burls and misshapen limbs speak of injuries and obstacles encountered through time and overcome. The way a tree grows around its past contributes to its exquisite individuality, character, and beauty. I certainly don't advocate for traumatization to build character, but since trauma is almost a given at some point in our lives, the image of the tree can be a valuable mirror.”

― Peter A. Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma

How Will This Eclipse Change You?

Pile 1, things will get worse for you, before they can become better. Right now, you have been going through a period of upheaval. You feel as if though you have to watch every step you take. There might be people around you who are praying for your downfall. This to me shows that you are someone who takes charges and like to lead the way, otherwise, these people wouldn't have a reason to be intimidated by you.

This eclipse will shake things up. Expect a confrontation with someone, especially at work. You will find out who is by your side and who isn't. Be careful. Retreat and don't fight back. Tigers don't compete with kittens, for they know their power.

You are someone who has "grown around their traumas". This eclipse prompts you to escape your "in-between" position and show your teeth by setting even higher goals. Take charge, travel if you need to and never lose faith. Become more vigilant but not aggresive.

Kittens can not and will not stop a tiger!

What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?

This eclipse is doing all the work for you. If you take a break or travel for a while, expect a different setting when you return to your familiar environment. Justice came out. I don't know why, but I get the impression you are someone who tends to suffer quietly. You don't like to give attention to petty people and small things others may find annoying. Keep doing that, but work through it internally. The Justice card is ushering you into an era of getting paid back your good karma, while those who wronged you are getting served theirs.

Another thing I see, is that in this era you will realize that every action has consequences, be it good or bad. This will offer healing and make you think twice before you do everything. You are a calm, cool and collected individual who may struggle with setting boundaries and taking responsibility because you don't believe you are good enough. Expect things to fall into your lap and getting celebrated for past successes. Get over your "imposter syndrome". You deserve to be rightfully compensated,

Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?

Focus on raising your risk tolerance and lowering your tolerance for bullsh*t! You have great potential for success, so act accordingly. Any ideas about new ventures you should turn into plans. Find wholeness within and don't wait for external validation, be it about your self worth or plans. Overall, stand on your own and be like a tree that withstands the jarsh conditions by bending with the wind. You are strong enough to let the storm pass.

Pile 2

“Through transformation, the nervous system regains its capacity for self-regulation. Our emotions begin to lift us up rather than bring us down. They propel us into the exhilarating ability to soar and fly, giving us a more complete view of our place in nature. Our perceptions broaden to encompass a receptivity and acceptance of what is, without judgment. We are able to learn from our life experiences. Without trying to forgive, we understand that there is no blame. We often obtain a surer sense of self while becoming more resilient and spontaneous. This new self-assuredness allows us to re-lax, enjoy, and live life more fully. We become more in tune with the passionate and ecstatic dimensions of life.”

― Ann Frederick, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma

How Will This Eclipse Change You?

This eclipse will make you sharper, quicker to act and ready to be strategic about your plans. After many trials and errors you have come to the conclusion that you're the only one who can change your life. You are becoming more stoic and pragmatic.

You are getting the bird's eye view, sitting high up in your throne like the queen/king you are.

I'm getting the message that clarity is here, not because of others but because of a change in your mindset that comes down to this: "I'm setting myself free from expectations and expecting. I'm choosing my battles wisely. I see things from a higher perspective."

Wisdom, truth and logic are the tools you are going to use to manifest your dream life.

From now on you will be guarding your heart and letting it rest for a while. Now, it's time for the sensitive heart to give the reigns to the cold head, just for now...

What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?

This is perfect! I just saw a carousel on TikTok that talked about the "winter arc" and when it starts (October 1st). I'm getting that this eclipse is ushering you into your villain era/winter arc.

You are a very soft and caring person but you've had enough, haven't you? I'm not getting that in this era of your life you'll turn into a b*tch and go from one extreme to another. I'm getting that you'll simply use radical honesty with yourself, you'll cut out the fluff and use your empathy to empathize with the one who deserves it, YOURSELF.

I want you to know that after this much needed period you will see that only people with the beat intentions approach you. I'm not getting that you will be lonely, I'm getting that you will choose to keep your distance from toxicity. You may meet someone who is going after their goals too and you two become really great pals.

Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?

Very interesting...

First of all, share your gifts with the world cause this will lead you to material abundance. It's been reaffirmed that you are a generous and empathetic person. The Universe wants you to know that it's clearing out from your life those that are leeching off of your energy and are sticking around just to have a taste from the fruits of your flavour.

Since you will become more logical in this period of your life, you will see that certain people are better to be left in the past.

You need to focus your energy on making money, finding like minded souls who reciprocate your positive energy and also, SERVING karma. Be okay with being the villain in someone else's story. They wronged you first and now they just want to use you. Don't feel bad that you want them to watch you win, because they wanted to watch you lose.

Now, let them watch from the sidelines, while you are running towards success. It's going to be sweeter though, cause you will be so focused on the path ahead of you that you will not care about the bench sitters.

Take care !

Pile 3

“Every trauma provides an opportunity for authentic transformation. Trauma amplifies and evokes the expansion and contraction of psyche, body, and soul. It is how we respond to a traumatic event that determines whether trauma will be a cruel and punishing Medusa turning us into stone, or whether it will be a spiritual teacher taking us along vast and uncharted pathways. In the Greek myth, blood from Medusa’s slain body was taken in two vials; one vial had the power to kill, while the other had the power to resurrect. If we let it, trauma has the power to rob our lives of vitality and destroy it. However, we can also use it for powerful self-renewal and transformation. Trauma, resolved, is a blessing from a greater power.”

― Ann Frederick, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma

How Will This Eclipse Change You?

As far as I can tell, Pile 3 needs to read both this pile and number 2! You are a complex person with lots of layers and reading both piles will help you gain two very distinct perspective on this next cycle taht will transform you COMPLETELY. It's not just about the eclipse, it's about the node change and the overall energy of the next 18-20 months. One of the two piles may not resonate right now, but in a few months or even a year it will be helpful to read it again for guidance.

The eclipse will change your perspective when it comes to your "all or nothing" attitude. Now, this change might have started already but what I see is that you will have a moment in the next month where you will realize that you have the ability to stand still while the world around you is moving. Before, you saw this as your inability to change and evolve but spirit wants you to know that you have the super power and luxury of following your own path. Your timing is way different than taht of others and your ability to move mountains while being still will help you advance in life. You see yourself as a walking contradiction but in reality, energy may manifest in different ways but its substance is the same. Stop beating yourself up and let your energy flow in different ways/wavelengths.

What New Era Is This Eclipse Ushering You Into?

You always get so close to the finish line but refuse to let go of the burdens so you never finish the race. The Universe is asking you to let go of expectations, negative beliefs and fear. Ask and you shall receive. Your options are confusing you, that's why they will fall away one by one. This new era is the era of shedding your new skin and of stripping down to the basics. You can not jump into cold water with clothes on, they won't help you even though they protect you at the shore, in the water they will weigh you down and you'll drown. Different things work at different phases, now it's a new phase and whatever was helpful before it's not working now. Paradigm shift.

Where Is It Asking You To Focus Your Energy?

Know that your life is headed towards a beautiful direction and trust your inner compass to lead you to this destination. Focus on improving your skillset and mindset and let yourself prepare for abundance. This next chapter is all about sharpening up before we climb the mountain. Thinl about it, if you had to climb up Everest wouldn't you want to be as prepared as possible. This last hump on the road is just a preview of the mountains you will climb.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ Marquis of Los Angeles: Ch. 2 - Domination

ཐི♡ཋྀ Thank you for the beta-read, @evrensadwrn! ཐི♡ཋྀ

Summary: LaCroix briefs Vincent on the new world he has just entered into, with the expectation that he will be an obedient ghoul. But Vincent is still struggling to gain the upper hand.

Author's Note: I made myself sad writing this - I want Sebastian to turn from Whumper to Caretaker already!

TW: mind control, emotional manipulation, strangulation, kidnapping

It was not LaCroix’s habit to keep his subordinates close to him. If it was wise to keep enemies close, then it was wiser to keep envious inferiors at such a distance that they had no opportunity to become enemies. Ghouls ought to have no knowledge of their master’s weaknesses, and no importance as anything other than pawns. They ought to view him as a solitary, impenetrable figure, above even their understanding. But Vincent Bisset de Gramont proved himself an enemy from the start, and therefore, an exception.

LaCroix repeated that name in his head and smiled, rolling it and playing with it, along with the bullet in his palm which he had decided to keep as a souvenir. Vincent had become so incensed when LaCroix refused to use his title that he determined on the spot never to use it again. The man had to be taught a lesson. “You are no Marquis any longer, let alone an ‘Autem Imperator,’ Vincent. Those titles have no meaning here. You will learn new titles. ‘Prince.’ ‘Regnant.’ ‘Domitor.’ And they will belong to me, not to you - as do all things where we’re going. Know your place.” He leaned back into the quilted suede of his seat, letting starlight and the dimmed glow of the cabin play across his features to what he hoped was a mysterious and intimidating effect.

“Your hubris knows no bounds, Prince,” Vincent spat back, clutching the arms of his seat as if his wrists were lashed to them. “They’re looking for me even now. Do you think you can walk into a High Table duel and make off with the highest ranking –“

“No one is looking for you, because no one knows you’re missing. Everyone who saw me believes they saw a kindly priest who said his respects over your body before helping that fellow – The Harbinger, I believe you call him – lay you to rest in a casket for your mortician to carry away. Tomorrow, that empty casket will be buried.”

A flash of panic before his pretty green eyes lit up again. “The mortician will – “

“The mortician wasn’t your man. He was mine. I sent a local friend to take his place, and to oversee the proceedings. You’re as good as dead, Vincent. I’m dreadfully sorry.”

He went as ghostly white as his travelling companion then. He remained very quiet while Sebastian explained to him the meanings of those important titles he’d mentioned, as well as other relevant words such as “Masquerade” and “Camarilla” and “Ventrue.”

LaCroix’s hope of entertainment during the flight was very much fulfilled. Vincent made for a captivating (if pitiful) image, with blood still smeared across his forehead and wetness sparkling in his eyes. LaCroix couldn’t stop staring at him and wondering whether he’d really cry or not. It filled him with a strange mix of sadism and sympathy that kept the Prince continuously in suspense. It sent him inexplicably trembling to hear Vincent say, “You’ll have to forgive me, Sebastian, I’m just so confused. Please…help me understand everything.”

He was coherent enough to ask intelligent questions though, and always seemed to latch onto those subjects that were a little too top-secret for a first conversation with a ghoul, whilst sighing that he was just so confused and scared. Clearly, he knew his way around a syndicate like the Camarilla and went straight for the vital information. When at last the Prince tired of this game and started to inquire about Vincent’s own organization, he refused to divulge anything.

It confused Sebastian a little. Every other ghoul he’d ever created had hung on his words in an ecstasy that totally drowned out the loss of their former life. They typically begged to repay him for saving them and fell over themselves to please him until he was either amused or disgusted. They certainly didn’t issue desperate pleas and threats about returning to their old life, or try to ply information out of him, or protect their old secrets. But Vincent? Well…there was no doubt that Vincent was affected by Sebastian. Sometimes his eyes lingered on LaCroix as if he wasn’t quite able to look away. But the look there wasn’t puppy love, it was…horror. Hatred. As if Vincent was looking at an old grudge who had wronged him grievously. Something wasn’t right.

He wasn’t in deep enough, that was all. He’d only taken the first sip of vitae – two still remained to form a full blood bond. And he was hardly a pliant individual, that much was evident. For now, Sebastian supposed he’d have to secure the ghoul’s cooperation via commands. “Vincent. When I ask you a question about the High Table, you will answer me directly, honestly, and without embellishments. Do you understand?”

A glazed, vacant look replaced the pitiful one. “I understand.”

There, good. Sebastian let out a breath, only just realizing how tense he had become, and began his inquisition.

He knew a little about the High Table already. It was not so different from the Giovanni, but even larger by membership the Camarilla, and impressive for a human construction. It was difficult to be anyone significant in either the human or kindred underworld without running across the High Table’s activities at some point. But the Autem Imperator (Sebastian might not call him by his title out loud, but he wasn’t forgetting it for an instant in his own mind) offered a unique view of its proceedings. Within minutes, LaCroix knew who held each seat, how communications passed between members, how those communications might be intercepted, into which countries their influence had spread (it was most of them), and even where the Elder resided.

It had been no idle tip, he realized, that suggested he should pay a visit to his home country and rest in the basilica that day. It had been, in fact, pure gold in the form of an anonymous email. He almost passed it up as an attempted ruse or ambush, even with all the power promised by the stranger on the other end. But it also spoke to a Masquerade violation, and even the Nosferatu could not trace it. The sender must have had a contact, someone who could encrypt on their level. So he went personally, just for 24 hours, with the resolution that he would return to the safety of LA as soon as possible.

Remembering at last to the original purpose of his visit, LaCroix asked his ghoul one final question, shortly before landing.

“Do you have an associate who would go by the initial ‘C’?”

Even under domination, he rolled his eyes. “Of course I do. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Sebastian held out the message on his phone. “Who could this have been?”

“Is it true that you can help someone live beyond death? If you really are I’ve been told you are, then come at once, to Paris. Come to the Sacré-Coeur Basilica just before dawn. If you’re lucky and I’m unlucky, you will find a man there who cannot escape death any other way. If you keep him alive, he will offer you knowledge and power equal to your own, pertaining to a human organization you may know as the High Table. Take him away from me, change him, disappear him, I don’t care. Only save his life and make him happy, and you will have my eternal thanks. He does not know, and will never know, what he means to me.”

- C”

“My bodyguard, Chidi.” His voice was strained almost to the breaking point, and his eyes still fixed on Sebastian’s phone even after the email was closed. Sebastian had no questions about whether he was faking his tearfulness this time.

“A ghoul of your very own, of sorts! Where can I find him?”

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment before mustering an answer. “…He’s dead.”

“Ah, splendid. That saves me a great deal of trouble.”

And then Vincent did what no ghoul, whether on one sip of vitae or three, should have been capable of doing. He sprung forward and closed hands around his domitor’s neck.

.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸. ཐི♡ཋྀ.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.

It took Vincent much longer than it should have to recall that Sebastian didn’t need to breathe. By that time, he was already being dragged off by the enormous, visibly supernatural thing that Sebastian had introduced as “The Sheriff.”

“Get this brainless lump off of me!”

“Hey,” The Sheriff grunted. Vincent paid him no mind, and continued addressing LaCroix with exactly as much civility as he deserved, all the while straining against the boulder-heavy hands holding him back.

“You will not SPEAK to me that way and you will not – “ Fuck, he hated the way his voice was shaking… “You will not speak of my bodyguard’s death as – as ‘splendid!’”

“And you will not speak to me at all until you can behave yourself!” LaCroix retorted. “SILENCE!”

The voice seemed to go out of Vincent’s throat. All his resistance had been used up in the outburst and he sunk numbly back into his seat.

LaCroix was panting, a shaking hand against his neck. He adjusted his tie and recovered himself enough to laugh. “Imagine trying to strangle a vampire! And the one holding your life in his hands, no less. You’re one to talk of brainlessness. And just when I was beginning to respect your cunning.” Vincent opened his mouth and nothing came out, so he spat in LaCroix’s face instead.

“Oh for god’s sake - You don’t speak AND you don’t move!” Vincent smiled as he watched LaCroix wipe at his face with a handkerchief, scowling. But another wave of terrible compulsion spread through his limbs, and then he was paralyzed.

It was such a strange feeling, being “dominated.” It was the same magnetism that drew him to LaCroix when he first laid eyes on him (that must be the “vitae” he had spoken about), but stronger, and more concentrated. Making him capable of magnificent feats, making him motivated, drawing his focus, making things important to him. As if a power was bursting out from inside of Vincent. It wasn’t so unlike being high, and not wholly unpleasant. But it was not his to control, not a part of him. It was LaCroix’s, and he hated it for that, and he hated LaCroix for that too. Maybe, if he just held onto that hatred…

But LaCroix’s conversation with his Sheriff broke his concentration. “No, I don’t want him in a cell, much less his own apartment. He’s not fully dominated and it’s a security risk. I don’t understand it, but I need to maintain a tight hold over him even if I have to do it by manual override. He stays in the penthouse, with me.”

If The Sheriff understood that, he conveyed it only by grunting.

Damn it. Any chance to get out of LaCroix’s grasp was slipping away. Again, he struggled to protest, but it was useless. He couldn’t speak. His own body was refusing him. It felt traitorous and alien and there was no one to help him, no one looking for him, no Chidi ever again and absolutely nothing he could do. If he had a voice, he would probably be screaming, he realized. But instead, for the second time that day, he floated on a sea of bloody misery, gasping worse and worse by the second. As the jet went into final descent, its weightlessness hit him in the stomach and drove home a second wave of fear.

LaCroix was watching him, leaning over him, speaking to him, in much the same way one might speak to a broken printer shortly before kicking it. He lay a hand on Vincent’s chest to feel his shallow heartbeat and the very core of Vincent’s being rebelled against the way that it soothed him.

“Why are you not calm? You shouldn’t be feeling this way, I don’t understand why it’s not working…” He fixed LaCroix with the most hateful stare he could manage without moving his facial muscles. Why do you think, you useless fils de pute? He felt tears rolling silently down his cheeks. Fine. Good, even.

Again, LaCroix’s magnetic voice overpowered his will with a rush, even more hideously blissful than before. Perhaps it was more in harmony with him than the last had been... “Be calm, Marquis. I command you. Don’t be so afraid.”

And all the wild contents of his heart slipped away into a soft, empty, merciful void.

◃ Back ⚜ Next ▹(coming soon)

Image Sources: One | Two

[victorbutnotreally]

Academic Validation - Lee Minho x Male Reader

A/N: i'm back!! heavily inspired by myself. to all the people struggling with their studies, you got this! your grades only define a part of you, a part of you that can be molded however you want.

warnings: thunderstorms, mental breakdown, mentions of dying, unrealistic expectations from parents, min's parents are horrible in this.

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"You have so much potential, Minho! Where's that little boy who's always eager to learn, huh?? You got an A in maths instead of your usual A*. I can't believe this!!"

"Mom, let me-"

"No!! You're in university, for god's sake! Pull yourself together! Stop hanging out with your friends and you better study, young man-"

"I-"

"Or do you not want to achieve anything? Do you want to be stuck somewhere with part time jobs, barely making a living??"

An A is still a good grade, Mom! he wanted to say, but he didn't dare to. He wanted to scream and shout and defend himself, but he wasn't allowed to. The words were just fading echoes in his ears till the sound of the call ending snapped him back to reality.

His parents see his mistakes, but only that. It wasn't an easy exam, and only one person got an A*. But of course, his parents wouldn't understand that, because he used to get full marks for everything without even studying as a child. And even now, he's mostly relying on his memory and math skills. He doesn't know how to study. Why would you know how to study when you're "gifted"? God, he hated that term. He would beam with pride when he got called that till middle school. Things started going downhill in high school, but he picked it up somehow. Mostly to compete with Mn. And now, in one of the most prestigious universities in the world, he was doing well. Very well, actually. But his parents won't understand. Why would they, when their son is "gifted"?

Sobs wracked his body as he threw his phone onto the bed and slid down against the wall. He wished the wall had arms to hold him, since his parents never did. He wished his wall would come to life, talk to him, kiss his hair and wipe his tears away. He sat with his legs to his chest and his arms on his knees, but that wasn't comforting enough. He curled up into a fetal position on the ground as he sobbed. He didn't have friends. He was always alone growing up, and he was fine, since life wasn't so cruel back then. His comfort was being alone, but he wants to be held right now.

He pulls himself up somehow, going to the bathroom to wash his face. He had an image to maintain. The thunder seemed to rattle the windows and the lightning struck. On any other day, he would've admired thunderstorms, but the sounds and the light overwhelmed him at the moment. He opened the door to his dorm room and walked down the hallway. Mn. The only one who got an A* in the maths test. He wanted Mn. Sure, they wouldn't exactly be termed as 'friends', but he's the closest thing Minho has to one.

Mn heard the knock on his door and wondered who it was at this time of the night. It was 1:03. He went up to the door and and looked through the peephole. Minho? He opened the door, and before he could say anything, Minho threw himself into his arms.

"Min-"

The moment he felt those strong arms wrap around him, Minho lost control. He clung onto Mn like a lifeline, burying his face in the crook of his neck. His sobs echoed in the quiet room, his body shaking from the force of his emotions. And to Mn, the sound of his sobs seemed to pierce him deeper than the lightning. He buried his face into Mn's shirt, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He's never cried like this before, but something about seeing his calm, collected expression makes the floodgates open. The last time he broke down like this was…well, he didn't remember.

"I-I'm sorry," he chokes out between hiccups, voice muffled against Mn's chest. He's too embarrassed to meet those piercing eyes, but at the same time, he craves his warmth and stability. "Just needed someone…"

He takes a deep breath, trying to regain some composure. When he finally looks up, his dark eyes are puffy and red, and filled with vulnerability rare of him. "Please don't think less of me, Mn."

Mn's expression softened, his hand went up from Minho's back to his face, wiping away his tears.

"Of course not…not for this. Come inside," he says, pulling Minho inside the room once he realized they were still in the doorway. The door clicks shut behind them, loud thunder accompanying the sharp sound.

"What happened, Minho?"

The soft gaze, the gentle tone of someone who's supposed to be his rival, opened the floodgates once more. Years worth of bottled up emotions came out at once as he broke down in his rival's arms. Mn could do nothing but rub his back and hold him close. Minho didn't need anything else. He just wanted to be held. Minho's arms squeezed him tighter as his sobs grew louder. He buried his face in his chest so deep as if he wanted to be lodged in his ribcage, right next to his heart.

"They- they think I'm so smart…I'm not…I'm not smart or anything.."

More sobs.

"I can't do this anymore, Mn, I can't…I'll die at this rate. I just wanna disappear and stop worrying about all this."

"Oh, Minho.." Mn felt a strange protectiveness over the boy nestled so comfortably in his arms. His heart felt warm knowing that Minho came to him out of all people, but at the same time, he felt sad, knowing that Minho didn't really have anyone else.

"What if I don't get a job? What if adulting is harder than I thought? What if…what if I don't graduate?"

The last question was followed by hysterical sobs. If it weren't for the thunderstorm, Mn was sure he would've woken up the whole floor with his cries.

"I-I c-can't do this anymore, Mnie…I can't..p-please.."

"Okay..okay..we'll take a break for a while, yeah?"

"C-Can't…have to..study..I have to-"

"Minho."

Minho looked up from Mn's chest, eyes teary and red.

"How long has it been since you slept?"

"I- I don't know, Mn.." He said Mn's name with such softness, such…vulnerability.

Mn reached to wipe away Minho's tears and reached out to grab some tissues for him.

"Here."

Minho shakily took the tissues, mumbling a small 'thank you' as he wiped his face. He slowly got up, his feet somehow being able to carry his weight now as he went to the bathroom and washed his face. He came out of the bathroom to see Mn making tea.

"Y-You don't have to," Minho said, his voice sore and shaky from all the crying.

"Sit down, Min. Talk to me, okay?"

He obediently sat down, quite unusual for him. But right now, he just wants to hand everything to someone else. And he didn't think he'd be so open with Mn.

"I just..I got an A instead of an A*. I wasn't disappointed with it because it was a super tough exam, but my mom called and said a lot of things. Like I'm wasting my potential. I didn't hear the rest, I was so tired. Don't…pity me. Please."

"I won't. I don't. And you're not wasting your potential, okay?," Mn started, handing Minho a cup of tea. "You're one of the best students here. And one slight drop in your grade doesn't make you stupid. Besides, A is such a good grade."

Minho sips his tea, the warmth of the teacup a comfort to his cold hands. He listened intently to Mn's words, as if memorising them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up, a small smile finding its way to his lips.

"You're good enough. I'm proud of you."

"You're good enough." The words rang in Minho's head, louder than the thunderstorm outside. He felt safe. He felt like he could admire it again. He sets down the teacup and hugged him again, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.

"Thank you."

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taglist:

@forever-atiny

[youzicha]

Simulacra, Simulation, and Girls' Generation

That take that "anime girls don’t correspond to anything" reminded me of one of my own pet theories, which is that the same is true about Kpop groups.

Groups like Girls' Generation are like the opposite of American singer-songwriters. The singer-songwriter's core value is authenticity. Their songs are taken to be autobiographical, and to be valuable because they are a true description of the emotions that the songwriter felt. The singer-writer must be a single person so we can be sure that nobody has tampered with the depiction before it reaches us. This is Baudrillard's "first order" image, we in the audience should believe that the song is "the reflection of a profound reality".

With the kpop groups, what we enjoy is that the song does not represent any underlying reality. Each music video is the impersonal product of songwriters, producers, choreographers, stylists, video directors, etc. Rather than a spontaneous expression, you can see the moves being developed in the behind-the-scenes dance practice videos. The online discourse emphasizes the role of the entertainment agency (e.g. SM Entertainment): the group members themselves do not have "agency" so we can be confident that their own emotions didn't make it into the love songs they sing.

Let’s look at the music video for Oh! (2010) to see how this plays out. It's like a game of dress-up, showing off two different cheerleader uniforms. Argumate once wrote that Girls' Generation perform "a detailed sequence of dance moves that are very 'sexy', i.e. strongly coded as suggesting sexiness without necessarily being sexy-without-quotes", and I think we can say something similar about cheerleader outfits. They are not there to convey a message or story (and as if to stress the arbitrariness, the last few seconds of the video show the girls dressed in a completely different "strong woman" style, to tease the upcoming next look). Rather, the "sexy cheerleader" is itself a stylized, free-floating signifier to be quoted. "The whole system becomes weightless … an uninterrupted circuit without reference or circumference." (Although I believe it is still possible to overcome the ironic stance.)

So far everything is straightforward, but now consider the lyrics:

Oppa please see me, please look at me It's the first time I talk like this (ha!) I did my hair and I did my makeup too But why is it only you who doesn't know? […] Don't think of me just like a little sister You might regret that after a year

I claim that this also works in the opposite direction to the normal mode of storytelling. When creating a movie or play, the auteur-director starts with an idea or a story, and then casts actors to best represent his vision. Or, if that is not what it in fact took place, it is still the convention the viewer is supposed to apply to interpret the work. But with an idol music video, the starting point is the singer, who already has a fanbase. "Please see me, please look at me"—well, we already were. (This is not the only Girls' Generation song about looking at the idol, by the way, compare e.g. The Boys, which begins "I can tell you're looking at me / I know what you see".)

Given the opposite starting point, the representational function of the lyrics changes correspondingly. Rather than focusing on the new fictional person who emerges ex nihilo, the fan's attention is still on the singer, and the "little sister" character is yet another stock signifier for them to bring out and put on, much like the uniform. The function of the story is erasure: there was in fact a hairdresser and a makeup artist who styled Yuri, but instead we're invited to project a different fantasy over her. The effect is to further stress the unreality of all the symbols involved.

With this in mind, I think one Girls' Generation song has a really interesting concept for the lyrics. In Paparazzi (2012) the idol looks out across the crowds, spots a photographer who is trying to be discreet, and speaks directly to him: "shall I give you a better photo? let's be friendly, after all aren't we allies?"

It re-establishes the inauthenticity and unreality of the idol! As time goes by, pesky reality intrudes. People will follow the individual group members devotedly, and there are paparazzi images of them. Members will capitalize on their fame through individual brand endorsement deals. There is the perennial problem of girl group girls getting boyfriends, jarringly peeking out as an actual human being from behind the illusion. Or in the extreme case they can even use their new independent existence to leave the group.

In Paparazzi, those candid photos are re-imagined as performance. And furthermore, just like in Oh! we are invited to imagine a fictional character speaking directly to us. But in this case the character is superimposed not just over the image from the music video, but also over all the already existing photos. The actual person of the idol is crowded out by the fantasy…

[the1northlanderprincess]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Whewww. Breathe, Amanda.

Ok, so, in a pre-show post, I talked about Gal's side of things in the relationship in this episode. Since several of you made posts explaining things after the fact better than I could, I'm going to discuss our favorite dark prince.

Yeah, so, our guy is in deep doo-doo. Now, I haven't watched the episode, but I gathered enough to get a sense of where this will take Haladriel for the remaining episodes.

What I really want to focus on is his mental and emotional state. So, Sauron creates an illusion to manipulate Celebrimbor into thinking that everything is hunky-dory in Eregion, and maybe to get him to relax a little. Everyone around him is affected by the darn thing. That includes Mirdania. In Sauron's concoction, she's wearing the same shade of green and hairstyle that Galadriel wore in 1x08. It gets even weirder: he is all soft and touchy-feely with her. The physical appearance, in my eyes, is very significant. It's the last time that Sauron had seen Gal in person, and had a positive interaction with her, before it all went to crap. I believe he captured that memory of her image to savor it. It was undoubtedly the last authentic happiness he ever felt.

After he is left to his own devices, Sauron hears a random elf tell his blonde girlfriend that her beauty is too indescribable for poetry. He seems to stop and dwell on this moment. This is important, too, because it is understood that Sauron is still in his own headspace. Why would he come up with something like that if he wasn't thinking of the beautiful blonde elf he himself knows? Now, we know that Sauron is enthralled with Galadriel's hair. However, this dialogue suggests to me that he finds all of her attractive. I think that should be a plus in the Haladriel Column of Pros and Cons.

Where does this lead? Well, it's more notable than ever that he is spiraling without Galadriel. His expression while listening to that couple is kind of depressed. I think he wants something like that SO BAD with her, but you know a little voice is telling him he can't. It's not possible for a being like him to have a cutesy moment like that with the she-elf he loves, and he knows it. I honestly feel sorry for him. Anyway, this all spells Bad News Bears for Mirdania. She sees all of this attention she's getting from him, and doesn't realize it's in place of the one he can't have. She'll try something, maybe kissing him (GAG), but he'll rebuff her in the worst way imaginable.

When Sauron and Gal do meet on that hill, I am almost willing to bet that he's so out of it, he will make an impassioned, broken plea for her to reconsider his offer. The Halbrand theme, which has a certain rush-against-time-to-get-to-the-one-you-love sound to it, will be heard during this moment. And we'll all drop from mega feels.

Overall, I think we can all agree that Sauron is out of his mind with desire for Galadriel, and I believe we will get immensely rewarded in the finale (or we better!)

[4dkellysworld]

Signs of Progress

The below is the result of a conversation I had with ChatGPT which I edited a bit. I thought it was great and might be useful to some so wanted to share it here. These are some signs that you've made progress on this path (it expands on what Lester talks about). I think it paints a pretty good picture of what it looks like when one has progressed on this path and can be helpful to check in with yourself and your practices (although do this from a place of peace and freedom, not from ego!).

Detachment from Ego and Self-Identification

Dissolving of Personal Story: The story of “me” becomes less dominant in your thoughts. You stop identifying with past experiences, achievements, or failures, and see them as events that happened to the body-mind but not to your true self. The constant narrative of “who you are” loses its significance.

Decreased Ego Involvement: Ego-driven thoughts like “I need to prove myself” or “I must protect my image” become rare. You no longer feel the need to build an identity through actions, achievements, or relationships. When ego-driven desires arise, you notice them and let them pass without identifying with them.

Ongoing Release of Ego Concepts: You have let go of many ego-driven thoughts, beliefs, and past conditioning, recognizing them as not truly you. You can recognize when egoic thoughts or reactions arise, but instead of getting pulled into them, you watch them like passing clouds. As ego concepts arise, you continue to observe them without attachment, understanding that these are just passing mental phenomena rather than aspects of your true self. There’s a growing distance between these thoughts and your awareness, which makes it easier to remain non-identified. This ongoing process of recognizing and releasing these patterns helps you stay detached from the ego and reinforces your non-identification with it.

Not Labelling or Adding Meaning: You no longer define, label or attach significance, meaning, stories or judgments to life and its experiences—everything is seen as simply neutral. You perceive events and sensations without categorizing them as good or bad, right or wrong, this or that. This allows you to maintain a neutral and clear awareness, and engage with life directly and openly, free from the distortions of personal judgments and biases. By not attaching any meaning, you allow each moment to be experienced in its pure form.

Indifference and Non-Resistance

Emotional Detachment: You find yourself emotionally neutral, regardless of circumstances. Feelings may arise, but they pass through without sticking to you, without your involvement. This doesn’t mean apathy, but rather that you aren’t emotionally swayed by external events or your own thoughts. There’s an inner stability that isn’t disrupted by the ups and downs of life.

Consistent Indifference to Externals: You are consistently indifferent to the world’s events. This doesn’t mean you don’t care, but that the happenings of the external world don’t disturb your inner peace regardless of what happens. You watch them with detachment, knowing that they don’t define you.

Non-Resistance to Pain or Discomfort: Physical or emotional discomfort is less likely to throw you into resistance or avoidance. You recognize that pain is a passing experience, not something to be attached to or defined by, allowing you to experience it without adding suffering through mental resistance.

Presence and Flow

Living in the Now: You spend far less time in your mind thinking about the past or future. Being present in the moment becomes your default state. The mind quiets down, and you’re more present in the here and now, with fewer distractions pulling you away from the present. You find a natural ease in maintaining a calm, unobtrusive mental state.

Openness to Life’s Flow: You stop resisting life’s natural rhythm. There’s an acceptance that whatever happens is part of a greater unfolding. You trust the process, even when it doesn’t align with your preferences. You are open and allow whatever may happen, even when it brings discomfort, because you’re no longer attached to how things “should” be.

Effortlessness in Action: There’s a shift where actions become more effortless, as though life is flowing through you rather than you trying to push or force things to happen. You no longer feel the pressure of “making things happen” but instead act naturally in each moment as needed, without the stress of outcome-based thinking.

Fresh Innocence and Curiosity: You approach life with a child-like sense of curiosity, exploring experiences with wonder and without preconceived judgments. You see life with a sense of innocence and an open and fresh perspective, allowing experiences to unfold without attaching meaning or being affected by past beliefs, feelings or experiences. This allows you to experience each moment as it is—fresh and unfiltered. You engage with the world playfully and openly, treating each moment as a fresh discovery rather than through the lens of past conditioning.

Freedom without Expectations

Freedom from Expectations: You let go of expectations, both from yourself and others. Instead of being driven by future outcomes or the desire for things to go a certain way, you’re more focused on simply being and allowing life to unfold. "Your" actions are more about allowing the flow of life to happen as it does rather than controlling or predicting it.

A Growing Sense of Freedom: There’s an expanding sense of freedom, not tied to circumstances, but coming from the inner realization that you are not bound by the mind, ego, or external world. This freedom is quiet but profound, where life’s pressures and demands lose their hold over you.

Acceptance of Impermanence: You come to deeply understand that everything in the external world is transient. Rather than clinging to experiences, objects, or people, you accept that everything is in constant change. You stop resisting this fact, which results in less struggle and more inner peace.

Joy and Connection

Spontaneous Joy or Contentment: As identification decreases, you might notice a natural sense of joy, peace, or contentment arising, not because of any external reason, but simply because you’re no longer entangled with ego. This joy is subtle and doesn’t depend on outer conditions; it’s a result of being at ease with what is.

Deeper Connection to Others and Nature: As ego identification fades, you may feel a deeper sense of connection to others, not from needing validation, but from genuine compassion and empathy. You might also feel more connected to nature as the boundaries between "you" and the world soften.

Synchronicity and Harmony

Synchronicity and Flow: As you detach from controlling life and the mind, you may notice an increase in synchronicities—meaningful coincidences that feel as though life is guiding you. Life unfolds in a way that feels more harmonious, and things “just happen” without you trying to force them.

[demensrage]

Immortal whispers ⚊ prologue

── Summary: When the god Morax sees a mortal that capture his interest, he comes to realize that there is still so much of human nature that he has no experience of. For his lust for life through her he starts doubting himself and everything that makes an entity eternal. This is the story about a man, who finds out, what the essence of life is, as he will learn that love and death are two greatest gifts of life.

Note: English is not my firts lenguage so please forgive me for the grammatical errors I may commit ꩜.ᐟ

Warning: Zhongli!morax x reader, angust, fluff, eventual smut nothing explicit?

Wordcount: 363

chapter one

In the mountains where the heavens stabbed and the river sang with millennia of history, a god watched over the provincial world from his high realm. Morax, the great god of contract, referred to the city as his guardian, representing strength and wisdom. Even though humanity continued with their daily lives without interference from the gods, cults and myths along with the songs and poetry about them were still an integral part of mortal life. There was harmony and soldiers did what was required of them. However, there was one of them who was never completely abandoned: Morax, he was still alive among them, well present in every rite they performed in the country that had benefited from all he had offered for its growth.

Even though he thought he had seen it all and knew it all, the tight feeling in his chest that nothing would make him happy as before overcame him. Emotional death was returning from the other side of the sky. In that moment of awkwardness, a faint light of curiosity took hold of his mind and propelled itself through his blood vessels, flickering in his heart and blooming like the best grassland in Liyue. “Interesting,” he said to himself as he continued to observe her through those bright amber eyes.

He was not only captivated by the physical beauty of the figure that had caught his attention; what truly amazed him was what he had so long failed to see in the soul of mortals: purity, the purity of a soul as bright as the woman present there. In her he found a connection of this light and joy, where Morax was sure he had lost this feeling forever.

Determined to understand that fascination, he made a bold decision: he would discard his celestial image and become a man, and try to understand that he has time for joy and happiness and relax like humans who, even knowing that they are trapped with death, continue to live. This marked the beginning of his path; an eternal murmur within the fabric of the universe where divinity merged with humanity and proclaimed that there was something wonderful waiting for it.

© 2024 demensrage. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[zutaranation]

Talking about The Search with some moots on twitter, got me thinking some really interesting potentials.

It’s in character that Zuko would forgive Ursa for forgetting him and want what’s best for her and intellectually understand why she did what she did, but I think emotionally, beneath the surface, he would feel deep pain at that.

Ikem and Kiyi’s existence clog up the plot. It’s too many cooks in the kitchen. Dont get me wrong, Ikem is a fine dude, he seems chill, and I love the dadko moments that come from Kiyi, but it’s too much going on directly linked to the main cast’s lives. That’s why it’ll never be addressed, which feels cheap and makes the reader feel cheated. Like Zuko has a STEPDAD now?! That should be a huge plot and discussion, but it’s not. It’s glossed over. There’s too many characters.

The whole gaang could’ve looked at Zuko, remembered what Ozai looked like, and laughed at him for thinking Ikem was his bio dad. That made no fucking sense. Sadly for Zuko, he’s the spitting image of Ozai. I could see Zuko being in denial, but Aang should’ve laughed at him tbfh.

Like Kiyi and Ikem wouldn’t come up in a gaang adult movie they’d be forgotten and that’s why they shouldn’t have existed.

Kiyi also just feels like some weird bandaid consolation prize for Zuko to toss Azula aside ??? It’s weird idk.

Like why are Ursa’s parents presumably dead? They easily could’ve been alive 💀 Ursa should’ve been vibing with them and zuko meets normal grandparents that were hidden from him for years … it feels less cluttering of a story than making up Ikem and Kiyi and then you would just presume the grandparents are old and rickety and have to hang back in Hira’a most of the time so it’s not like bugging your mind with questions and adding more unaddressed storylines!

I’m okay with the Ursa forgetting her kids plot. I do think it makes her shitty, but I’m okay with the tragedy of it and her being kinda a shitty mom.

Ikem is low key a freak for helping Ursa forget her memories then settling down with her like NOTHING HAPPENED

I wish that Ozai and Ursa once had feelings for each other and he slipped into “madness” in an “absolute power corrupts absolutely” kinda way. It’s more interesting than “he’s always an evil big bad gonna tie you to the train tracks” vibe and eliminates the need for stupid ass Ikem. I remember Bryke mentioning this once too in some old ass trivia bit or something for “Zuko Alone”.

The worst part about The Search is the glossing over the emotional scenes. What readers had wanted for years so badly was the emotional payoff of either Zuko facing his mother was dead, or actually seeing them reunite. Also— the most emotional— Ursa reacting to Zuko’s scar is entirely skipped. It sucks.

Not letting Zuko and Katara have a single conversation when Sokka and Zuko do and Aang and Zuko do is insane. Katara had so much to feel and bond and hurt over Zuko with (yes platonically in this case I’m not that in denial @ antis). It sucks so bad they cut this entirely for shipping bs hatred because BRYKE are 6 years old emotionally.

This would’ve been a much better and emotionally charged story on screen. It was really cheated by being done on a limited page comic. It needed more time, voice acting and music.

It’s implied heavily, as many of us always assumed, that Ursa was SA’d.

If zutara was canon, I think Katara would be furious at Ursa and it would be an interesting conversation and story. Maybe I’ll write that fic

Regardless of these many flaws, the story is much more in character than The Promise or Smoke & Shadow. I hate those comics so bad for making the theme let’s all kill Zuko and be nonchalant if he dies! And making it so that it’s like he never had a found family and still no one loved him and also the weird submissiveness they gave to Katara and the retconning of everything and the repetition and recycling of plots and it all is so bad… 💀😭

What thoughts do yall have? Happy to discuss 👀

[elysiaheaven]

𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈-𝟏𝟔-(The Fox's wedding)

You both finished your meal and left the restaurant, the evening air cooled your cheeks, and you found yourself walking in comfortable silence beside Jiaoqiu. The kiss still lingered on your mind, a sweet memory that now felt woven into the fabric of your bond.

After a while, Jiaoqiu broke the silence, his voice soft yet filled with purpose. "You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Curious, you tilted your head. "What is it?"

He paused for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. Then, with a playful smile and a serious undertone, he said, "You've told me before about how difficult it is for you to see yourself. The mirrors, reflections—they don't show you anything."

You nodded, feeling a familiar weight settle on your heart. "Yeah... It's been that way for a long time. I've almost forgotten what I look like."

Jiaoqiu stopped walking, turning to face you fully. His expression was gentle yet determined, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that made you feel seen despite the situation. "I know someone—an incredible artist. He could draw a portrait of you. Of us."

Your breath hitched slightly. A portrait? The idea of seeing yourself again, even through an artist's eyes, stirred a mix of emotions within you. You glanced down, a small nervous laugh escaping your lips. "I don't know... Do you really think that would work?"

Jiaoqiu stepped closer, his fingers brushing against yours reassuringly. "I think it would be beautiful. It would help you see yourself, and I'd like to be in it with you. It's just a thought, but I think it could mean something. To capture us—this moment—forever."

You bit your lip, considering it. His offer was thoughtful, even tender. He wanted to help you see yourself, to give you something more tangible than fleeting reflections or forgotten memories. Slowly, you nodded, your heart softening. "Alright... Let's do it."

Jiaoqiu smiled, his excitement barely contained. "Great. I'll talk to my friend, and we'll arrange it soon. Trust me, you'll love his work."

You chuckled, feeling lighter than you had in a while. "I'll trust you on that. But just promise me you won't make me look like some kind of...princess."

He rolled his eyes playfully, your heart fluttering at his words. 

The art was finished you looked at yourself. You were the same....

Jiaoqiu, Keep your promise!

Though our bodies have been lost in the chaos of conflict and despair, we've somehow found true love amid the wreckage. It's a love that stands out starkly against the darkness that surrounds us. in a state of half awake and half dreaming, our feelings have woven themselves into an intricate tapestry of devotion and pain.

His eyes wandered to the portrait the two of you, a vivid depiction of the emotional tumult he felt. It was a reminder of the profound connection that defied all logic and reason, even as it tugged him into a spiraling abyss.

It's no concern of mine if I end up getting dragged into hell for what I've done. All I hope for is that I can take you down there with me. If fate has decreed that we must meet our end, then I want to face it with you by my side.

The walls of the room seemed to close in around him as he thought of the impending confrontation, the relentless march of time that seemed to be drawing you both nearer to an unavoidable conclusion. His heart ached with a paradoxical mix of fear and longing.

Seems that the time is drawing near, so shall we take off now?

In his mind, the vision of you linking your arm with his, acting as if you were lovers bound by destiny, played like a bittersweet dream. The image of your faces close, your eyes reflecting an intensity that matched his own, brought both solace and torment.

*God, you're so stupid,* he mused inwardly, *acting like you're in love with me. How can you be so naive in the face of everything that's happening?*

The internal struggle grew fiercer. The love he felt was genuine, but the darkness within him threatened to overshadow it. He grappled with the urge to protect you and the darker impulses that pushed him toward destruction. His conflicting desires made him question how long he could hold back from giving in to his more violent inclinations.

*I don't know how long I can hold back when I really want to kill you.*

With a deep breath, Jiaoqiu forced himself to confront his emotions head-on.

To save Feixiao, he needed you.

To save you, You needed him.

He looked at you, the lines of his face softened despite the internal struggle. He had to find a way to reconcile his feelings, to embrace the love he felt without succumbing to the destructive forces that threatened to consume him. In that moment, he resolved to cherish whatever time he had left with you.

Over the next few days, an unsettling tension began to settle between you and Jiaoqiu. It wasn't a tension born from conflict, but one of desire, a growing flame you tried to suppress but couldn't entirely extinguish. You found yourself longing for his touch, his presence, and the complicated, twisted bond you shared. But for the world around you, everything had to appear normal. You shut those feelings deep inside, trying to focus on the people and the world outside of your entangled emotions.

Your sweets became more famous...

"Please! Just one more!" Bailu pouted, her small hands reaching out.

Sushang jumped in as well, grinning widely. "Yeah, Y/N! I swear it'll be the last one today!"

You chuckled, unable to resist their innocence. "Alright, alright," you said, handing them each a piece of candy. But a mischievous thought entered your mind as you carefully selected one of your special sweets for Jiaoqiu.

Later, Jiaoqiu found you with the others, his presence commanding but subtle. He watched you interact with Bailu and Sushang with mild curiosity and a hint of amusement. As the conversation flowed, he asked you, "Did you run some kind of restaurant or bakery, Y/N? They can't seem to get enough of your sweets."

You smiled nostalgically "I used to have a bakery," you admitted softly. "It was small but cozy. I loved making sweets for the kids in the village."

Without warning, you took one of the spicy sweets you'd prepared earlier and fed it to Jiaoqiu with a sweet smile. "Here, try this one."

He accepted it without hesitation, trusting your kindness, only for his eyes to widen slightly as the chili heat kicked in. You couldn't help but giggle as he swallowed it without complaint, despite the fiery flavor dancing across his tongue.

"Chili?" he remarked dryly but then grinned, almost enjoying the trick. "You're getting bolder."

You shrugged playfully, knowing he wouldn't scold you for it. His reaction was priceless, and a part of you enjoyed how easily you could toy with him. But beneath the playful moments, Feixiao seemed to notice the deeper, underlying tension between you and Jiaoqiu. She watched from a distance, her sharp eyes picking up on the subtle signs—the forced smiles, the unspoken words, and the occasional moments where your gazes met and lingered just a little too long.

She didn't say anything, but it was clear that she knew something was amiss.

One day, Feixiao extended an invitation to visit the Luofu, a chance for a brief respite after the chaos had settled. She specifically asked Jiaoqiu and Moze to accompany her, the trio being close allies in the conflict. You wanted to join them, a need to reconnect with an old friend in the Luofu gnawing at you.

"I want to come too," you said softly, almost hesitantly.

Jiaoqiu glanced at you, raising an eyebrow in mild surprise. "Why?" His voice was calm but edged with curiosity.

You looked down, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve. "I have an old friend there... someone I haven't seen in a long time. I'd like to visit them before..." You hesitated, your voice trailing off.

Jiaoqiu's eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze becoming more intense as he looked at you. "Before you die?" he finished your sentence, his tone sharp.

You were taken aback for a moment, not expecting such directness. "Yes..." you admitted quietly.

He sighed and crossed his arms, looking off to the side for a moment as if contemplating something. "Are you still stuck on that?" he asked, his voice sounding almost... frustrated.

"What do you mean?" you asked, confused by his tone and his words. His reaction was different than you expected, and it stirred something uneasy in you.

Jiaoqiu's eyes met yours again, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something—sadness, frustration, maybe even anger—but he brushed it off quickly. "Never mind," he muttered, shaking his head. "You're blinder than anyone if you don't see it."

"See what?" you asked, stepping closer, wanting to understand what he was hiding from you.

"Forget it," he said curtly. "I'll talk to Feixiao about it. You should rest." His tone softened slightly, but the conversation still felt unfinished, as though there was something more he wanted to say but couldn't.

Before he could leave, you reached out and grabbed his arm, holding him back. "I don't want to leave you," you confessed quietly, your voice trembling slightly. "Not even for a little while." The truth spilled out, raw and vulnerable, as you pressed your forehead against his back, hugging him from behind.

Jiaoqiu stiffened for a moment but then sighed softly, the tension in his body easing. He didn't say anything, but he didn't pull away either. Instead, he let you hold onto him, his presence grounding you as exhaustion slowly took over. With your arms wrapped around him, you felt safe, even if just for this fleeting moment.

Your grip on him loosened as your body gave in to sleep, the warmth of his presence lulling you into a peaceful slumber. 

Timeskip!

You were soaring through the Starstiff Haven with Jiaoqiu, the wind gently tousling your hair as the vast, open sky stretched out in every direction. The kimono he gifted you felt light against your skin, its intricate patterns shimmering under the blue sky, making you feel like you were floating in a dream. The peace in the air contrasted sharply with everything that had transpired, and you relished this rare moment of calm.

Sitting side by side, you both shared a bowl of spicy ramen, each bite making you wince from the heat while Jiaoqiu ate it effortlessly. You couldn't help but smile at the contrast, trying your best to keep up with him as he slurped up his noodles. Your attempts to handle the spice made you look adorably flustered, and Jiaoqiu glanced at you, smirking slightly. "You're really struggling with that, aren't you?" he teased, watching you take small, careful bites.

"Shut up," you huffed playfully, but your smile betrayed your words. "I'm doing just fine."

After finishing the meal, the ship landed softly on the Luofu, and Jiaoqiu went to speak with Moze. You overheard snippets of their conversation, mostly about Feixiao running off somewhere, likely getting herself involved in something reckless. Jiaoqiu sighed as he relayed the information to you. "Feixiao's doing something silly again. But don't worry about it, Moze and I will handle it."

You tilted your head curiously, raising an eyebrow. "Why not ask Jing Yuan for help?" you suggested casually.

Jiaoqiu froze for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he turned to you. "How do you know the name of the general of the Luofu?" he asked, suspicion clear in his voice.

You giggled, leaning back slightly as you smiled innocently. "Magic," you replied, winking at him mischievously.

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "You're impossible to read sometimes." There was a hint of amusement in his voice, though. He didn't press further but gave you a knowing look, as if he knew there was more you weren't telling him.

"Anyway, don't worry too much about Feixiao," he said. "She's capable. And besides, Jing Yuan's busy with... more important matters."

You smiled, sensing the slight tension dissipate between you two. "Well, if she's running off doing silly things, I guess it's in good hands, right? Besides, I'm more interested in exploring the Luofu."

Jiaoqiu glanced at you, noticing how you seemed to light up at the thought. "Fine," he said, his voice softening. "We can take a walk around before things get too crazy again." His eyes softened as they traced over the kimono you were wearing. "And... that kimono suits you."

You blushed slightly, the compliment catching you off guard. "Thank you," you whispered, feeling the warmth in your chest as the two of you set off to explore the bustling city of the Luofu.

[passionfruitbowls]

CURRENTLY SCREAMING OVER PYRRHA AND TEAM JNPR CRUMBS

[autisticandroids]

CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.

[youtube with closed captions]

a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[solradguy]

come on grandpa its fine. let your inner dadguy out

Maybe I should........

[cienie-isengardu]

My RepCom Musing: if there were (clone) strills everything would be much better

For me, the biggest missed opportunity & disappointment of the Republic Commando story is that NO ONE APPARENTLY CAME UP WITH IDEA TO CLONE MIRD. And I swear, everyone would be better off with strill puppies (kittens?) around. Like seriously. Vau? Mird is what kept Vau alive and happy for decades and is literally what makes Vau soft and caring. Now multiply Mird and Vau won’t magically change from hardened veteran & harsh training sergeant into overprotective, overemotional dad, sure, but it would definitely make it easier for him to show his care and deeply hidden emotions once each squad of his batch gets a cute lil clone!Mird to take care of (and be taken care of in return). Can you imagine all the cadets’ excitement and wonder for their own strill, for the unconditional love and loyalty of an highly intelligent and smart animal and for the Vau’s trust given alongside it? All the things boy!Vau must feel at some point too, when he was stuck with an abusive family or shortly after leaving them and be on his own in an unknown, uncaring galaxy? Can you imagine him swarmed by the puppies and clones with a thousand and one question on how to deal with strill so he could unleash all his love for Mird on everyone around?

Or Atin, after losing his first batch mates? Or even after Geonosis? No point for violence when you can drop an emotional support animal on a hurt, depressed human being. Deltas too could benefit from lil Mird. What could be better than a strill for emotionally stunted people with even more an emotionally shut down trainer? Beside the whole long-term therapy, I mean.  

Jango too should get a strill, the man is like one, walking trauma and Boba would be better to hang out with a loyal pet than Aurra Sing or other assholes.

Where is a cute lil clone!Mird for each squad of Vau’s batch, I demand to know?! A loyal strill  to make everything better? WHY NONE OF YOU in-universe SMARTASS THOUGHT TO GIVE MIRD A BUNCH OF SMALL PUPPIES (KITTENS) TO MAKE KAMINO A BIT BETTER PLACE FOR THE STRILL, VAU AND CLONE CADETS? Everyone would be mentally healthier!

Well maybe beside Kal who could have a heart attack once Jaing brought the strill puppy or two or a whole pack and Skirata was forced to explain how that happened to overprotective Vau & Mird XDDD 

UNLESS Vau wanted to do so but Kaminoans, remembering that this animal hunts them down out of boredom decided FUCK NO. Then I will accept the canon as it is, but only then…

(I do remember Vau sicing Mird on Ordo in book canon but I will admit I do not have a clue what was the point of this action besides making us, readers, to dislike Walon on the spot. I mean, killing people and physically trashing cadets? Sure, it makes sense within his characterization. But using Mird like that without any logical reason and just for fun? Nah, I will pass. Like Ordo lacked trauma and reasons to dislike strill and Vau when Kal had plenty of his own complaints about Walon to pass to his kids.)

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Pokémon Horizons Episode 32 spoilers under the cut!

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