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#everything is gradually going up
twinstxrs · 4 months
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in light of recent canon academic conversations, riz adaine gorgug study sessions have never been more real to me. gorgug helps riz + adaine get out of their own heads when they’re overworking themselves, riz + adaine help gorgug with alternative studying methods because he learns best through visuals + experience. fabian’s there occasionally when he has a particularly difficult assignment/test but he makes them all swear never to speak of it in order to protect his “image.” kristen has shown up exactly twice: once for advice on a group project that was two months overdue & once to just lay on the floor and relax for an hour before leaving. fig didn’t know the study sessions were happening until sophomore year & now keeps getting monthly bans because every time she shows up she ends up accidentally distracting riz + adaine. also, sometimes after/in the middle of really long study sessions riz adaine & gorgug go to basrar’s together to unwind but fabian kristen & fig Are Not Invited (they do still text to ask if anyone wants something brought back from basrar’s. they’re not heartless, after all).
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sealpup9 · 6 months
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Ok Inertia came in swinging with a beat that slaps so hard I forgot to duck and was knocked on my ass by the force that is the last two verses.
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butwhatifidothis · 9 months
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What gets me about GW defenders saying that "Claude siding with Edelgard shows how far he's willing to go to get what he wants, he'll use anyone to further his goals" is that, even if that were accurate to his character... that's not what he does in GW. At all.
Which one of Claude's goals are ever progressed once he sides with Edelgard? And how does siding with Edelgard, specifically, accomplish said goal?
Maybe... killing Rhea? But all of the reasons he says he wants her gone in this game are either completely unproven or blatantly incorrect - there's no proof of the Church forcing arranged marriages, Crests do not force obligations onto those that have them (which Claude himself literally proves), and the Church is helping Dimitri restore Duscur - a foreign nation - meaning they are actively willing to help fulfill Claude's main goal that he came to the officer's academy to achieve.
And... that's it! That is the only possible thing that even POTENTIALLY helps Claude's dreams, and taking a five-second look at it shows that it actually does nothing at all to help anything. But in the meantime? Claude weakens Faerghus through agitating Sreng and invading it himself, forcing Dimitri to fight a three front war; he actively helps Edelgard get herself out of a messy situation, even though not helping her and letting her die would have actually helped him and would have actually been him using her like people keep saying he's trying to do; he and Holst even admit that by the end of the war Edelgard is going to make a vassal state of Leicester after taking the lion's share of Faerghus' territory for themselves, which Leicester can't do anything about because of Adrestia's far stronger military. He is the one saying that! He is the one pointing out that that is going to happen! And yet he just keeps going anyway!
He is the one getting used. Very blatantly, and very extensively. Claude walked himself into a trap and lied to himself into thinking he's the one with the upper hand, which somehow managed to convince a large portion of the fanbase too. There's no gray morality here, there's no cunning being showcased, Claude is just an evil stupid tool
#clyde discourse#doing a read over for what i have for the GW rewrite and just. man.#like. it's hard to even like Clyde as a villain because he is just so incomprehensively incompetent in literally everything he does#once Part 2 hits#like imagine if he helped EdeckyWecky up to the point where she'd ACTUALLY die without his help... and he doesn't give it#he lets her die and lets the Empire crumble without leadership#but Dimitri can't take advantage of that because he still has to deal with Sreng and the Alliance#meanwhile Clyde is sneaking in more and more Almyran forces through Nader manipulating Mr. King of Almyra#until he has enough to take on the weakened Kingdom and force it under submission through the constant pressure he's forcing it under#not through brute force but just through wearing them down to the point where they just can't keep going#and in his zeal to conquer Fodlan he fails to recognize that he's just become Shahid; someone who wants to become king no matter the cost#like imagine it's never said outright but that THIS is how power corrupts once genuinely good people#they're so focused on getting to the end point that they gradually care less and less about how red their path to that end point is#until oops everyone is either dead; too scared/unable to fight back; or are also swept up in the mindset of By Any Means Necessary#THAT'D BE A NEAT VILLAIN. even if it's not *Claude* at all that is a villain i could get behind!#but people keep insisting that 1) Clyde isn't a villain (he is) that 2) he's doing the right thing (he's not)#and that 3) he's in any way compelling (he's just brown Eddy Geddy but stupid)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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toxooz · 1 year
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thingking abt Vinny's first time at the skatepark bc his mom made him go and just being the Angriest lil terrified furball in the corner of the fence like
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eyes-like-the-night · 11 months
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I feel like it’s that joy for life and experiencing things that Krolock has seen fade in each and every other vampire, including himself, and it hurts each time to see people damned to just dragging themselves through year after year and at some point you stop really noticing the changes and it all gets monotonous. If it wasn’t for Herbert Krolock probably would have become the same way, just as miserable with his existence as all the vampires in the graveyard.
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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Honestly people in the fandom always say Faerghus is the least progressive of the three, but they’ve honestly been the most progressive? People say Edelgard’s way is the best future for Fodlan because of the Crest system, but it’s... really not. Faerghus has been steadily working to dismantle the Crest system for years in Hopes, and in Houses it’s something Dimitri plans to formally work on (and doesn’t get the chance to yet in Houses until after the war because of what happened in the five year timeskip) in the future.
Also, the class system was being fixed as well in this regard, and the whole “outside of Fodlan’s border” thing was being worked on by Lambert and only came to a temporary halt because he was murdered for attempting change (outside of TWS, TWS had help in the form of other Faerghus nobles who didn’t like the change Lambert was attempting). Dimitri would have continued Lambert’s efforts sooner if he could have, but as the prince/not yet king he couldn’t, and then the war happened for five years so even when he came of age he wasn’t able to take the crown yet.
When it comes to hiring people and whatnot, Dimitri has Dedue as his ���vassal” as far as Duscur hating background NPCs would call him and what Dedue tries to insist he is. Dimitri is already trying to get people from outside of Faerghus as well as commoners into high positions. He can’t officially do a whole lot as the prince, but in his ending he does fix Faerghus.
In Hopes, he’s actively working on the power system for the two years and they’re succeeding rather quickly, both with the Crest system and the disparity between royalty, nobility and commoners. The only reason Faerghus wasn’t able to do that sooner in Houses is because Dimitri wasn’t the king yet, and when he became king it was during a war so it was a bit less “official”. There was no formal ceremony for it until after the war.
If Edelgard felt the need to use war to get rid of the problem, it means Adrestia wasn’t able to solve that problem internally on its own, and the Alliance wouldn’t have done so either with the roundtable, so when the Alliance becomes part of united Fodlan under Dimitri or Byleth (depending on the route), that fixes the Alliance’s issue with it, but ultimately Faerghus had a better progression of the Crest system and the class system overall.
Also, the whole thing about Rhea not allowing outside influences isn’t true at all. Shamir, Cyril, Petra and Dedue were at the Academy even if for different reasons, but Rhea didn’t have to hire a foreign mercenary or bring in a foreign orphan. She didn’t have to let Dedue in considering he was from Duscur and everyone basically knew loads of people hated Duscur (and she could’ve easily reasoned that it would cause problems and drama with him there, whether she thought his people were responsible or not. Even if she knew 100 percent he wasn’t involved, she could’ve tried to turn him away when Dimitri brought him in, reasoning that it wouldn’t be good to have someone people would be suspicious toward). She didn’t have to let the princess of a foreign land come to the Academy.
That’s important because the Church is closest to Faerghus out of the three lands and has the most power over Faerghus, but it’s Faerghus that’s progressing toward a weaker Crest system the fastest. Rhea definitely is trying to keep Fodlan’s borders relatively closed up from threats, but she doesn’t disallow people from outside of Fodlan to enter it (and she lets people in right where she lives, so she obviously isn’t worried that any of these people are going to try to kill her/anyone from the Church). Fodlan just has more security in place, and Claude is under the impression it’s just too much security if he wants Almyra and Fodlan to be more openly friendly. It’s true that Rhea’s past experiences led her to keeping Fodlan from advancing as much as it could have, but she’s not completely disallowing people from outside of Fodlan to enter it.
The fact that the Church is closest to Faerghus makes it easier for Faerghus to be able to sway the Church if even necessary at any point to let the change gradually kick in.
Also, I’m not saying Claude didn’t or couldn’t help enact change in the Alliance, but that Faerghus had begun progressing its future long before Claude was even living in Fodlan. It just came to a temporary and screeching halt when Lambert was murdered by TWS who also had help from some angry baby nobles that didn’t like the thought of change. In other words, Faerghus was already heading toward that future before the Alliance was too.
tl;dr faerghus is the good shit and they’re all about that change and all the great stuff and they gonna do that shit peacefully and sylvain is a huge part of that and here in this house we love him for it even if it’s bc his dad is a dummy dumb and made both his kids have to suffer bc of the system to make sylvain so intent on changing it like bruh why’d u have to go and do that but don’t get me started on miklan bc i care him and hopes made all my headcanons a reality
also tl;dr faerghus is the good shit and they’re all about that change and i want dimitri to run my country too but then again that might be awkward bc imagine saying u have the hots for the president of ur country like man what a thought
#Three Houses#Three Hopes#Faerghus#yaaaay faerghus for saying fuck the class system u can move up in the world REGARDLESS of birth#and REGARDLESS of social status and REGARDLESS of religion and we don't even have to go to war for it!!!#we still have Sreng to worry about OH WAIT we have Sylvain and he's a Smooth Talker he can deal with that#no need for Crests when you have Sylvain who doesn't even have Crest Babies that he passes anything down to#oh no Almyra might attack the former Alliance territories oh right we have Claude he's gonna take care of that from inside Almyra#don't need Crests and nobles to take care of Almyra at the border either!#it gets me when ppl actually say Edelgard waging war was the 'best thing for Fodlan' like LMAO BRUH#Dimitri literally wipes out everything Fodlan was with the power/class systems and starts them anew during his reign#change started in Faerghus not with Edelgard's war. if she talked to Dimitri beforehand she would've known that#i.e. a war wasn't necessary to achieve any of that stuff bc Dimitri did it anyway and Faerghus had been working on it anyway#and when I say Faerghus I mean all the people in power were working toward that future and didn't care about the systems in place#ALSO they always say Lambert was making extreme decisions and the like so it's entirely possible that had something to do with it#He was trying to become more friendly with places outside Fodlan and there's no indication he actually cared about the system#and based on how people reacted to him bringing about sudden and powerful change it proves that just#doing it without slowly phasing into new things wasn't how Fodlan needed to be. they needed gradual change#people who took part in helping with Lambert's death were people who felt his decision making was opening up Faerghus to danger#the point is that Lambert had good intentions and very good plans but he tried to push it all into the system too fast#which tbh checks out perfectly with the way he's been described as a person in both games personality-wise#obviously killing him wasn't the answer bc he was trying to go about change peacefully but again it was too fast and people reacted#basically Lambert was already starting the change Claude wanted but a few nobles stuck sticks in their own asses and got angry abt it#anyway i love faerghus it's also nice and cold there and i would never have to deal with the heat again#DCB Comments
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harmonizewithechoes · 11 months
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We are once again at the stage of babyhood where if you turn your back they immediately try and off themselves and I am once again wondering why the hell they all come with this instinct
It doesn’t make sense and it’s exhausting!
Also baby #3 is a bit more adventurous in this way than the other two were and she’s finding new and interesting ways to terrify me which I appreciate. Wouldn’t want fearing for her well-being to get boring.
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Begrudgingly trying to look for a new phone because my current one (which I’ve had for 8 years) is having some issues but like......hhh.. Every person I know who has a newer phone like.. theirs SUCKS lol.. you can’t take the back off/battery out, some you can’t even change out the microSD because apparently they expect you to just use evil ~~cloud storage~~ or whatever nonsense, they come with so many apps built in which you can disable but not fully delete (wasting space on the phone), can’t control when updates happen, one of my friend’s has to be connected to the internet just to get voicemails??? like having to be connected to wifi or mobile data just for some BASIC functionalities is insane (I prefer to keep my internet disabled at all times unless using it, hate the idea of just being internet connected constantly in the background and having all these apps sending and receiving data and giving dumbass notifications when I’m not even actively using them), SOME of them don’t even have a built-in GENERIC notes app or media player (like I’m just supposed to download spotify instead of using my collection of youtube to mp3 files?? lmao) or photo viewer (I know someone who doesn’t have a generic ‘photos’ app, just “Google Photos’ which prompts them to make an account and login every time they open the wretched thing), etc. etc. etc. 
Genuinely, if it weren’t for my need to be able to use the internet to map and check bus directions/look up things on the go when needed, organize/transport files, and take photos on a whim when I may not have my camera with me - I would legit just get one of those basic non-smart phones where you can only text and make calls lol ... alas... ToT
#like i just hate simplification i hate everything being online i hate making accounts i hate cloud storage#i hate not having full control and customization of my experience i hate being forced to be connected#to the internet i hate siri or ok google or whatever the hell i hate being sent random notifications#i didnt ask for because the phone updated by itself and downloaded or enabled some shit i never wanted on there#i hate doing anything on a mobile device and everything being an app when desktop useage is so superior and so much easier#to process and do things that way and jthat i cant even open the back if i want to or change out sim cards like you used#to be able to or all this extremely easy and perfectly normal stuff that USED TO BE a function forever but it's like choice is gradually#being removed... w h y#Its the same thing with websites being oversimplified like WHY take away options and functionality to 'streamline' things and make them#more 'mobile friendly' when previously there has been both a mobile and a desktop version of websites for a long time??#what is the problem with having MORE choice? if people dont WANT to utilize the extra options and functionality then allow them#to choose to simplify things#but if people WANT increased choice and customization then the options are still present#what if i WANT  a more detailed complicated ~difficult to navigate~ view of a website?? what if i want to send 45 paragraphs#of text instead of short quick messages and emojis chat style where pressing enter sends a message instead of just doing a line break#etc. etc. which yes now I'm getting away from the topic of mobile phones and just speaking in general lol but its like#I just feel frustrated that everywhere I go it seems like things I used to be able to do which were USEFUL and functional - now the option#is gone or limited or made worse. And it's not just being afraid of change like some new things are fine when they make an experience#BETTER and actually HELP but like what the hell is helpful about having 4GB of my total 8GB built in storage#taken up by pre-installed apps that I literally cannot delete and that is space I will never use.. ??? and some of the other#changes it's like.... ok?? and for WHAT?? lol#AND i know like.. you can hack your phone and make your own changes to it and stuff but I shouldnt have to do that!!!#it should be EASY to customize and have it function however I WANT it's literally something I'm PAYING for..!!#and that cloud storage shit I do not care HOW the world changes you are never going to talk me into storing important stuff on some#fucking server somewhere that I don't have control over. same thing with live service or online fucntioning video games. I will find every#possible work around to keep 'physical' copies of anything that is actually important to me. 2087 in the word war 5 google amazon#fire world wasteland I'm still going to be clinging to my little usb stick in an undergound tunnel listening to 70 yr old mp3s#and playing downloaded copies of games that are mine that i payed for and own and can play however whenever i like lol#ANYWAY .. hggh.........maybe I can find a good 2018 or 2019 phone on ebay instead of buying a new one in store#would still be an upgarde technically since mine is from 2014 lol
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zvaigzdelasas · 1 year
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~15% thru my hsk6 deck....
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nonzero people podcasting about goosebumps the musical & it’s never enough. neither extensive enough nor enthusiastic enough & that’s coming from me which is the entire explanation for the assessment. 
on the same topic but a completely different point, i was just appreciating how extra fun i always find understudy buddy to be. and obviously i would like to think that maybe tina & the unit that is brooke & zeke are like, more neutral to amicable after the show lol. tina is a lot of fun as is, like, automatic shoutout to any character just being like, getting in the way being offputting / a pain and all powered by one’s own intensity, that’s fun & funny & who among us? and like yeah she’s also definitely doing the mean girl thing like, in the song as mentioned lmao like please, rein it in. and maybe she will, but then when other suspects are being kind of crossed off the list just before thee play she manages to just be regular supportive towards brooke, so that’s promising lol. and also just shoutout to the Fun of a lively antagonistic role, great stuff, delightful number for her there, and sure helping ramp things up. and zeke and brooke not just showing up for this one horror musical (also i would love to shoutout zeke’s plight there lmfao like, the experience of original readers of poto where the twist is “nah it’s not a phantom it’s just some wet pathetic guy” like he’s so hyped to be The Ghost Lead and then he’s like oh god i’m a romantic lead in a hole & i’m five & it’s embarrassing & i even know my counterpart irl (the bestie) like i guess technically the role’s a ghost by the end & good for the mystery mask wearing element being exciting still) but that they were unnamed ensemble members in guys & dolls & saw that through, they’re bringing support & appreciation for the theatre, & on the flipside tina might just enjoy the theatricality & attention from it but she was having a great time informing everyone that on top of their haunted school it’s a specifically haunted (cursed) play, so maybe she can also relate to zeke and brooke’s horror genre appreciation. and she might warm up at all to zeke when he’s cleared about the fact he wasn’t trying to prank their efforts into oblivion, at least to the same degree she can manage to provide regular supportiveness to brooke when it comes to it. and on the one hand, despite brooke and zeke sure seeming like that hell of an established unit like probably just have their [socializing at school] foundation covered by hanging out w/each other, they could let brian in on that easily enough for something of a triumvirate, but now not only are they bffs since 5ever who love a genre together, they sure had an Adventure in emile messing up by [you never try to scooby doo villain your way through it] but also doing it all wrong where they think You’re the danger here & that you’re going to murder them, plus it’s scary for real exploring the darkness elevator underground tunnels anytime, but also now they have this off the shits experience with that new guy friend who was a ghost for real. kind of its own bonding element & maybe you wouldn’t exactly let anyone else in on it, much less like, tina lmao. she might be interested in The Legend but she was also super interested in telling everyone all about it, and idk, difficult and weird to explain, thing it’d all be quite the stuff to process for one lol like sure we love drama and ghosts and attention too but it’s A Lot. ghosts are real and i online dated one except across time rather than space and he was just some guy hanging out and i also hung out with him sometimes but then in the end it got weird b/c he was the suspicious understudy all along and this role is really not coming through....but also hey, could talk about it all eventually, and tina’s got plenty of context already. next year’s cast n crew party for the last show, be like hey guess what, b/c we’re solidly amicable now also
plus being extracurricular buddies like, ms. walker head in hands dealing with these three menaces lmao....although zeke wasn’t Really up to that much, tina’s sure committed to the show, etc. and it’s like, being a student or teacher or anyone else at a middle school is just always gonna be like that. could really be worse, she can handle it. and maybe she can know of the lore also, she’s out here engaging in irl drama and lore about like avenging her grandmother’s theatrical aspirations, or none of this would be going on lol. get used to these three and actually they’re reliable really, maybe tina will have learned to better accept not getting the dream role, which will be an easier time for everyone. but it’s just always gonna be a handful lol but all these kids were also all about putting on the play too, actually, yes maybe some problems arose from messing around with the platform but they could’ve been worse problems (queues of ghosts in line for their turn at finally achieving one last goal of performing their part in this one damn play lol) and does seem like it’s engineering issues inherently rather than Just messing around backstage unsupervised which isn’t often otherwise going to be fatally risky, and maybe just give people a rundown about the riskiness of things that Isn’t emile’s botched effort where he mostly just made children afraid of Him. like idk, i did shop class throughout middle school, we avoided injury w/successful cautionary rundowns. brian’s one other last goal could’ve been about safety measures, but whaddaya gonna do. anyways point is, hanging out after school for theatre purposes and having an understanding and bonus patience affordance with the teacher in charge of this and maybe everyone gets to know the Real Ghost Story or maybe it’s zeke & brooke’s personal inside secret, it was already a shared adventure for all involved even if they didn’t get the Full story the way those two did, all of them are up for Drama and for Horror, they’re good to go. and good for them
#goosebumps the musical#like let's do a play by play of the show And this kind of meandering musing about any and all elements lmfao#funny when the [just some guy] was clearly not at all intending to murder them but so far as they know he might've. which yeah terrifying#and their Real Ghost was a just some guy new friend. brian truly just hanging out like yep what's up everyone. yeah i'll paint a set#and i can't get over book brian being all the more just So Nervous in general lmao that's like his whole thing#like is this some extra anxiety you get when you die & then have been a ghost abt it? maybe. or maybe he's just already like that.#either way lol. i Love how they talk abt maybe encountering an actual ghost via the platform & brian's like omgg nooo stopp ;m; too scary#if you're a kid who would've been scared of ghosts then....just b/c you happen to be one yourself. still like omg no stopppp#but zeke & brooke aren't too overly terrified of this possibility of Real Ghosts though it Is clear they're both scared in the abyss there#like. yeah fair. you're like eleven and that is scary for anyone and does involve various elements of not insignificant danger#and it's more fun when they Aren't utterly unfazed by everything happening in the story ofc. which they are not#and who knows maybe zeke's a bit put off about actual ghosts lmfao like he Did get ghost attacked. whoops#hopefully as simply disorienting as alarming rather than like yeah i had a whole fight for my life back there while gradually smothered#things that have you looking up folklore abt ghosts' breath stealing ability. like fatally or just a lil sip...#well i don't know. where is the fog patch haint warding tradition recited humorously from perhaps my grandma as the lore source there lol#not online i suppose. go figure. anyways theatres & ghosts & superstitions? already going on. the ghost light for sure. just add some more#and be all the more earnest with it lol. hey why do you always say ''brian no more of that shit please i don't care if you wanna be man 7''#might still be more like ''i hope emile who's an alive guy out there doesn't try to kill me :/'' lmao fr....#maybe he makes himself scarce a while but returns also. kids probably wouldn't tell a soul so long as he doesn't try to scare them abt it#kind of difficult to ask these children straightforwardly to just not say anything to anyone once they know you're here but#they probably don't wanna go exploring back down there again. did that. just don't haunt the plays or seem like you'll kill them#and like who knows maybe a lot of ghosts w/goals hanging around & they're generally Just Ppl in gb situations thusly#your new friend even if they're really more Mortal than you for the temporariness of it all; ideally#given that they Do have some goal to fulfill & then they'll peace out a ways. really hardly the worst gb style of situation to be in#it's the drama & mystery & theatrics....& the fun of like layers of genre awareness lol. you like horror & you know you're kinda in A Story#the play; the play having a mystery history & possible curse; school's haunted; someone's sabotaging you; fake janitor; suspicious behavior#and a couple of protagonists who are liable to go looking for some degree of trouble for the fun of it....#anyways what a setup. lot going on lol. lot that Did go on. including the show; congratulations to everyone just about
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change of plans. 
honestly, it feels weird to say because of how happy they make me, but i feel like i’ve been bogging myself down with iron maiden gifs a bit too much and it’s the kind of thing that i don’t notice until after i take break after break with less and less time in between. 
the problem is that i love(and will always love) iron maiden more than anything else, which is why no other band videos have felt right to gif because i wasn’t that interested in anything else. so i feel like suddenly getting back into sweet is exactly what i needed.
i have decided that i will slowly finish the iron maiden/bruce videos i’m currently in the middle of, concerts and everything, tie it all up as nice as possible, and then i’ll try a longer break from them than i’ve ever taken before and maybe branch out a little bit more to other things. or not even do anything the entire time, i have no idea, it’s whatever i feel like doing. or not doing.
i don’t have plans to stop permanently because there’s so many iron maiden things i still want to gif, but i guess i can’t really speak for my future self right now, which is why i want to finish what i’m in the middle of first.
this is just to let everybody know ahead of time that these are my current thoughts on the future direction of my blog.
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asakurahaos · 2 years
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im so exhausted even laying in bed feels like too much work
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peachinspiration · 2 months
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dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)
#im in hell#that thing he said about not being able to sleep without magic or meds is so real#my sleep treatments even stopped working gradually#and if I don’t take any at all im laying awake until fuckinf 7 am#it takes me like an hour of holding it in to use the fuckinf bathroom#and the thing that makes me move is being terrified of kidney failure#it’s 6 pm and I still haven’t eaten my first meal of the day. tried ripping into a protein bar I had saved for moments like this but I can’t#make myself take more than 2 bites#the amount of times these past few years I’ve practically passed out from hunger cuz I just. cannot make myself get up to eat or make myself#something. omfgggggggff#I literally am a magic practitioner and have helped myself with spell work many times in the past yet I just can’t. make myself utilize it#more. yet I have all these books and supplies to use. and I’ve studied for hours and hours and know what to do#and it’s crazy cuz when im high off the sleep treatment THEN I actually do things but I don’t wanna use that more cuz im afraid of getting#addicted uhm. yeah idk what to even do anymore#my bf helps tremendously with leading me to do things but I don’t wanna take advantage of him too much and he’s long distance#but jesus fuck im literally on adderall now but its my emotional problems that keep it from working#it’s like wtf happened#I can’t fucking do anything unless someone’s there to guide me through it or keep me engaged as I work or they push me to in some way#and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything#it’s crazy cuz I related with his old self to the T especially with the desires and competitivity problems and trying to gain things he#doesn’t even actually want just for leverage and a sense of worth and the ‘if im not on the top on everything i dont have actual worth’thing#and other stuff I can’t remember off the top of my head. and I actually had friends and was more talkative#but now it’s like#🪿#yk what I mean#there’s a shitload of other things I relate too hard with but I can’t remember rn or I won’t mention cuz too much to go into#my bf said if he were around irl he’d cook for me and help with stuff when I go thru being like this nonstop which hey nice cuz obv id help#him with anything too#I mean there’s days where im better and can Do Things but it never lasts long and it sucks I can’t ever trust myself having a job or#I had all these things I wanted to do but I just feel nothing toward it and it drives me insane like can this maybe Not happen so often
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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ahhhh ok I feel so at peace now..
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pegasusknightsonly · 5 months
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okay sorry that this has just been complaining about how birthright plays today but putting aside the fact that there are still unpromoted enemies in chapter 22 of 26, that the game is still trying to give you MASTER SEALS in chapter 23 of 26, the lack of any kind of balance with the dragon veins, the lack of any early game bulk, the fact that there is only one good hoshidan class tree, the terrible hoshidan skills, the completely passive enemy decision making, the godawful person skills in the second generation, the heart seal drought and the layout of the maps themselves: WHY do you first encounter skills on enemies other than bosses in chapter 23 and why are they all fucking busted
here's your first encounter with breaker skills! every miniboss has three of them on this map ☺️
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