#everything works exactly how I design it and things work according to how I want them to.

[neverendingford]

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[joycrispy]

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship. Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.

Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice... :)"

11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'

(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)

Hastur and Ligur don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.

Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.

It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:

He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.

(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?

...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale long enough to make poor Leo sick)

Apart from Aziraphale, Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of.

Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).

Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."

To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.

...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?

...Anyway.

There's also the matter of the crank handle.

This thing:

This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.

The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.

He made stars with it.

[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]

If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:

Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.

Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them: cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.

Stopping time. For instance.

(This is conjecture on my part, but, I like to imagine that Crowley has the ability to stop time for the same reason I can --and should-- unplug my computer before I perform maintenance on it. Time and Space are a matched set, after all, and in his designs in particular, one feeds into the other.)

I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity. One from long-lost days when he made beautiful things.

(And he loved it. Still loves it --he incorporated that metaphor into the Bentley, didn't he?)

Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?

He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.

Crowley was never that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He doesn't have a sword.

...And yet.

It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.

In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.

Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?

Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?

What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?

...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.

[volturiprincess]

You Kill Me (Pt 2.)

Caius Volturi x vamp female reader

Summary: The confrontation after part one. Warnings: Angst, foul language, mentions of sexual harassment, Caius' sinister side peeks (I think thats all?) A/N: FINALLY! Man it took a while but I mean I got writer's block with this one. I really wanted to dive a bit deep with this and I added a couple back and forth POV between reader and Caius (I almost added a Marcus POV but I changed my mind). Thank you to everyone who has been patient with this one-shot, I hope I did not disappoint. But as always...Enjoy💙 Word Count: 6k+ (My longest one so far)

(Here's Part 1)

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(This. Was. His. Era. Again Jamie did him justice🥰)

Recap….

We stood in silence, I wanted to say something but I didn't know what exactly. I must have been too deep in thought because when I looked up he was gone…..

Oh gosh. What have I done? Why didn't I just say something to him, anything really could have worked at that moment and maybe I would not of hurted him. I never wanted to hurt him in anyway, he’s my mate for fucks sake. Even if I'm still getting used to the idea of having him as my mate, or just being around vampire civilization again, I would never want to harm him. When I pushed him away the hurt his eyes reflected, hit me.

Why am I being so difficult with him? You would think finding your mate just clicks for one and everything in your life finally makes sense, you get a sense of being even but no I decided to just make this once in lifetime experience so complicated. I have been in communication with Carlisle of course via letters, and when I tell him about me and Caius, I can already picture him shaking his head in disappointment each time he reads my letters. He understands why I'm being like this but he finds it totallyunnecessary for me to act like this toward my own mate, he keeps telling me you only get one in this lifetime. 

I decided to head outside to the gardens, where I usually spend my alone time until I see Marcus there. It seems he was expecting me. 

“Hello Marcus, fancy seeing you here”

“I would say the same thing but we have matters to discuss, dear”

I guess Caius got to him already, even if Marcus never shows any sort of emotions, right now he's giving me the same look Carlisle would give me when I did something absurd. He motions for me to sit with him, which I join him instantly.

“I am already going to assume you know what I'm about to say?”

“I have a hunch of an idea”

I couldn't look at him because the look he's giving me was pure disappointment, I felt like a child being scolded by their parents. I know that feeling all too familiar, I was the ‘wild card' apparently compared to my brother when we were younger, father had a knack to always scold me even when it's something as little as forgetting to put away a cup. Carlisle had it easier compared to me, I was molded to be this lady that society would approve of, I was designed to be the perfect wife according to my father. Mother would have never wanted me to be raised like this, she was the one who encouraged me to read, she was even the one who taught me how until she passed away when me and Carlisle were 5. 

“Let’s start this off simple, how are you feeling?”

That is a very good question, how the fuck do I feel? Sure I feel confused, that's all I have been feeling since I found out about being mated to Caius but I mean I feel disgusted. I feel disgusted with myself, I heard stories over the years that the Volturi were supposedly these power hungry coven who are just ruthless but now I feel like I'm the true villain here. What kind of sick person– err vampire in this case– turns their back on someone who has been nothing but loving and patient with them? Caius, even if he has  been interesting with his tactics of showing affection, has only been patient with me, and how do I return the favor? I push him away and basically stomp on his heart.

“Terrible”

“Elaborate on that”

I really do feel like a kid currently.

“I feel terrible because I broke Caius heart” 

“And how?”

And now I feel like I'm in a therapy session.

“For months I turn away from our mate bond and refuse to give in, he does not deserve that, actually screw that he does not deserve a mate who just shuts him away for no reason”

“Oh but there is a reason to your uncalled behavior”

“Isn't there always a reason for everything?”

“Yes, which is why I'm asking you why are you being like this?”

“I dont know”

Of course I know why, I'm scared to give into the bond, what if I’m not good enough for him. What if I fuck up or something and he decides I'm not worth, that I'm not worthy in being his mate. I know you can't pick who your mate is or anything but he could do so much better than me, a person worthy enough to be his queen. Other than the fear, I'm angry. I've been forced to be here forever and don't even have the chance to see my brother. I miss him, he was all I had left of my family and now I have to be away from him. And my past trauma is always lingering.

“I doubt that”

“Marcus, no disrespect to you, but why are you invested in me and Caius? I know he's your brother and all but…why?”

I saw him look off to the distance, almost like I do on a daily basis when I'm reflecting on thoughts or events throughout the day. But I could see his expression change, instead of the disappointed look he had not that long ago, he looked gloomy which was his usual expression before I started to talk to him. 

“I told you about my…” I saw him take an unnecessary gulp ”late wife…Didyme,right?”

“Yes you did, she sounded like a lovely being, I would of loved to of meet her”

“She was, I mean she is. What i'm trying to say is I don't want to you or Caius to end up like me, I have had my brother in my life for so long and to see him finally find his mate, makes me surprisingly happy, I might not show it but internally I have a bit of peace”

Oh the guilt I have right now is no joke, the way he is speaking makes me worry more about the situation I created with his soul brother. The day he told me about Didyme was when I healed her favorite flower, he only told me a bit about her, her personality, features, how her smile could brighten any room, how with just a touch his worries and sadness would be like if it never existed. He truly loved her and the way he is barely going through life does make me sympathize for him big time. I actually make sure to check up on him at least once a day, from just asking him about the latest book he has read to just asking him to oversee my work in the garden, it's not much but I can see a bit of change in his eyes. 

“But I also do not want to see you suffer, I don't know what you are trying to accomplish with this behavior but you have become an important person to me. I view you as a sister I never had, makes me a bit envious of Carlisle since he has the honor to call you his actual sister.”

“Marcus I don't know what to say, I'll be honest with you but I view you as my brother as well, I see a bit of Carlisle in you”

“We are getting off topic but I appreciate your honesty dear, the point of this conversation is to come to your senses and accept Caius as your mate, I can see your bond with him weaken, you are doing nothing to nurture it, he was kind of trying but not in an effective way, in a way you two are acting like children, now if you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to”

He took off before I could even close my mouth at his revelation. He does make a point, I need to stop this ridiculous behavior I've been having and be willing to accept Caius as a mate. 

Caius POV

Humiliated. Disappointed. Defeated. Embarrassed. Furious. And Shameful. Who does she think she is? Was it perhaps my fault for pushing her and just throwing myself at her with that kiss? What was I thinking in doing such an action on her? I would never act like that or think to do it, I am a gentleman, I might not show it but I have never had no intentions to be this way. I still blame her. She is the one who has made me a whole different being. My brother has told me once you find your mate, everything just clicks, they are your equal side and they supposedly make you a better person. He’s wrong, since the minute I saw her I knew she would be trouble, I knew she would not be the right fit for me. 

How could she push me away like I was not worth anything. I have feelings. Wait? Do I? I never understood the purpose of expressing feelings. We feed on humans, I have no sympathy for them only that they keep my thirst down. But when I saw her, I felt the world stop, my main focus was on her and only her, not only because of her beauty but the aura she gave. I for once felt my unbeaten heart beat, I felt like I was suffocating from her scent, but at the same time I felt at ease. I still do not understand her purpose of being difficult with me, if I didn't spend our longest time together arguing with her I would've gotten answers to my questions.  

Maybe it is my fault as well, I have not been there for her. Marcus advised me to spend time with her to actually get to know her. He also warned me that I should be easy with her, she will never be able to see her family unless they come here. But what do I do instead? I basically seduced her with my charm and thought that would be enough to seal the bond. What an idiot I can be, but at the same time I at least tried to give into the bond, unlike her. She would just turn away from me and act like I was some low life, like a pest in a common sense. Who gave her the right to treat me in such a way? Maybe her brother was the one who influenced her to be this way with me? I knew that vegetarian vampire had it out for me, it only makes sense since he left, he probably knew she was my mate this whole time. 

She's such a child to top it off. Running away from a bond that is grander than any bond to existence, and yet she turns away from it like a coward. Just like her brother, always going on and off from having mortals or not. In the time she has been here, she is still not drinking human blood. I thought by now she would have converted to our diet but it would seem I was wrong. Another thing to add to my list of changes; being wrong. I have always been right and if someone goes against me then they will end up being sorry. She’s changing me more than I care to ever want.

Y/N POV

It's been a month since I last saw him, even before I would at least catch glimpses of him or he would approach me. He’s nowhere, I even asked some of the guards if they have seen him but I was met with disappointment. Not even Aro or Marcus have been any help, well I haven't actually talked to Aro yet, he still creeps me out. My mind has been rehearsing over and over in what I will say to Caius, it's all I can really think of.  And to think it's only a month, it has felt like an eternity, considering I have been around for a while now, it cannot compare to this month alone. I think I am finally losing it, I believe I am going mental now. The way my mind is being filled with endless thoughts and worries is really pushing me into a not so pretty mindset. I want to cry but I know I am unable to, I want to scream but what will that solve? I want to run away but Demetri would just track me down in an instant. I want to drown myself in books to at least distract my mind but I know whatever I read it would only be twisted and I would be thrown back to thinking about him. 

I even stopped  hunting, I haven't had not one ounce of blood since the last day I saw him. Why do I deserve to satisfy my thirst when I hurt my mate? Oh my mate, how much I am longing to be in his arms right now, telling him how sorry I am. To tell him what an idiot I have been this past half year, to tell him my fears of not being worthy of him, to tell him it's me and not him no matter how foolish that sounds. It's the truth there is nothing wrong with him, not even his anger issues bother me, on the contrary I love how he is not afraid to show his intense emotions out. Oh? I said the L word, well it's no issue to me because I think I do love him. How fucked up is that really? It took for him to stop coming up to me to finally realize I do have love for him.

I have been spending this whole month, when I was not looking for Caius, pacing in my room growing more and more mad. Not the emotion mad but like mentally losing it. But I think I am also mad, I mean I am trying to make it up to him but he won't even give me a chance. It's frustrating really. Oh no. Is this how Caius was when he was trying to seal the bond but I just turned away from him? Now I am really feeling the pain and guilt, this torment is just so painful for anyone to face. I made him go through this, I really am a monster.

I fell to my knees in defeat as I buried my face into my hands, the venom started to fill my eyes. All my walls started to crash down on me and I could feel myself almost physically hyperventilate as I was trying to remember to calm myself. I felt my old human self creep up. In my human years I would have my breakdowns after each lecture my father would give me. His talks about me being the ideal respectful woman would get to me too much.

His preaching never got easier, he even would force me to attend his social gatherings with other men so I could be viewed as an available choice as a wife. When my dad was not having an eye on me, those men would stare at me shamelessly, it made me feel gross and caused me to have a desire to be alone. Another reason why I avoided any type of civilization when me and Carlisle went our separate ways. 

Maybe that’s another reason why I was also being harsh toward Caius, I feared he was going to be like those men. It didn't  help his case to be proven wrong when he kissed me or the way he seduced me endless times. I need to talk to him. 

Caius POV

I feel foolish avoiding my own problems. I tend to get to the bottom of things but in this case it's different. How can I solve this? Wouldn’t it make sense for her to come up to me and apologize for her childish acts? The way she wouldn't even look me in the eye when I talked to her? Or how she would respond to me with a snarky remark? Gosh I think I love her attitude, even if she did hurt my feelings by rejecting me, I think I fell for her more each time I would approach her. But when she pushed me away, I noticed her attitude was true. Why would she want to be with a vampire who has the title of the ‘ruthless one’ out of the three? I never cared for what others think about me but with her, everything suddenly mattered. I wanted her to accept me for me.

My reputation means everything to me, I am the one who does not show mercy and I am the one to not give second chances. As for her, I would give her endless chances if it means she gets to be mine, only she can get her way with me. I would not let anyone know how her rejection has hit me, I would rather let my anger take over me to let others know she has no effect on me. Why is loving someone so hard? Love for me was always something I viewed as a weakness, look at me for merlin sake, I feel like being locked up in a room and refusing to be out and about. 

It is what I have been doing this past month, I been in my art room staring at a blank canvas. My muse, my inspiration, and my desire to create a masterpiece has left me. Before her I would decorate my walls with weekly original art from whatever came to my mind. And yet when she turned away, my yearning vanished like I drop my helpless dead meal fall to the ground after I drained them. 

A while ago I was painting her, I happened to decide to work outside on a little platform reserved for me only and I happened to spot her in the gardens. I never revealed myself to her but I had a perfect view of her staring off into the distance, the right lighting was even hitting her and the scenery around her was every artist's dream come true. 

I only got to sketch the background because I wanted to spend more time on just her. How she was posing unaware of my eyes on her, how her lips were slightly parted, how the wind picked up her hair slightly after each breeze. How her eyes held so much emotion while her other facial features stayed relaxed. She was and still is breathtaking to me. I could spend hours drawing different sketches of her if she were to let me, I even got an idea of a new statue to add in the gardens, it would be of her.

She’s like a reincarnation of Aphrodite, no I am mistaken she is more bewitching than the goddess herself. How have I gone a millennium's without witnessing such beauty in my life? I need her, she’s my missing muse. 

Y/N POV

When I was finally mentally composed enough I walked down one of the many hallways to head to the throne room. I have a feeling he might be there, I don't know where else he could be and nobody has told me about his whereabouts. I arrive hoping to see him there but only Marcus and Aro along with some of the guards who are within the shadows are there. I want to yell at them but I compose myself. 

“Aro, Marcus, where is he?”

Aro who as always tends to act unaware of things unless it is of interest to him decides to mess with me.

“Where’s who?”

“Look I have kept my patience for a while, but if you dare to test me today I will gladly knock you out again but this time it will be a month”

The hidden guards stepped out from the shadows after my little threat, already recognizing them I knew I could take them down. I was lucky that Jane and Alec were not around because my chances of winning would be low. 

“Why should we tell you where he is? Haven't you hurted him enough? I seen his thoughts I know the suffering you have put him through since your arrival”

I wanted to rip his head off so bad. How dare he meddle into mine and Caius' life? Soul brother or not, what me and Caius go through is our own business. I know he makes some sense about the suffering and pain but I have gone through my own pain also. Marcus settled a hand on Aro shoulder before I could think about attacking him

“Aro it is not our business to intercept into our brother and his mate's issues, my dear y/n he is in his art studio. Felix? Demetri? Would you mind taking her to his studio?”

They were both by my side and led me away. Good thing these two were taking me away, they are the only ones who would manage to stop me from attacking. It was a quick sprint and they nodded toward two large mahogany doors, it looked like it was indeed doors to an art room. It also seemed handcrafted, I had never seen such gorgeous details on a door before. I opened the door slowly to do a small peek into the room to see if he was there. He was there on a stool with a loose button up shirt that was open at the throat and he had some casual black slacks. His hair was a bit messy even and yet he was the most striking being I have ever seen in my lifetime. 

His gaze snapped at me as I was closing the door, his irises were matching his pupil from his lack of feeding. His eyes also matched mine, since I was also pushing away the need to feed. He watched my every move like a cat watches a mouse before pouncing on it.

“What do you want?”

“I-I I want to talk to you”

“Is that so? Took you a month to come to some senses did it?”

Well that hurt, I already knew he was going to be a bit sharp with his words yet that line hit me a bit hard.

Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I still need time to be able to calmly talk to him. No, no keep yourself together y/n, I need to do this for not only my sake but for Caius.

“Well go on with it, I don't have all day”

“Look if you are going to start having an attitude with me then maybe we need to wait another day then to talk”

“I am not with attitude, I am just trying to get to the point, I don't like to dance around issues”

I took an unnecessary gulp like Carlisle would do when he would break bad news to me.

“I love you”

The pencil he had his hand fell to the ground and that was the only noise that was heard after my words. 

“I know you're probably thinking, how cruel can I be to say that after everything that has happened between us but it's the truth. It's always had love for you within me but I was scared to open that door, you see I wish we could turn back time and I could explain to you everything that has been going through my mind before that fateful day. I wanted to tell you something but you left before I could and-”

“Then explain to me why you have acted like a child”

His voice lost its sharpness, instead it was soft, the same softness his eyes reflected currently. I wanted to melt on the spot by how sweet he looked.

“Before I was turned, my father would display me like some doll to show others of my availability as a wife, when he was not looking the men he was presenting me to would basically undress me with there eyes, some of them would be brave enough and leave lingering touches on me after I would shake their hands, the only males in my life I trusted after that was Carlisle, even in my time when we were apart I was never near civilization, I feared for the day I would have to be around others.” He stood up from his stool but he stayed at a distance from me still.

“When I saw you I thought it was time to heal completely from my trauma, but with the way you would approach me it gave me slight flashbacks from the past, and it made me recoil from you a bit, but at the same time I wanted to be by your side. What didn't even help my case was I had a fear of not being enough for you. How can a vampire like me who has such fears be worthy of a king like you? You deserve someone who doesn't still feel an ick when she’s around others for too long. I felt if we were to talk sooner then we wouldn't be in this position but no you just did a quick and go, made me feel unworthy of your time even”

I wanted to say more but I decided to give Caius a space to talk also, I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort and looked away from him. I feel exposed and anxious just standing here in silence, waiting for him to say something. Please say something already.

“I was not expecting you to even start this with those words”

I knew it was strange to say that but I mean I wanted to reassure him I do have feelings for him.

“I think you make a great point in we should of had a civil conversation at the start of this to avoid our current issues, I-I apologize for my behavior, it was uncalled for and inappropriate of me to try to nurture our bond by seducing you in such a way, you should of been treated like a queen with respect and love. But you are wrong of not deserving me, on the contrary I feel like it's the opposite, you deserve someone better than me, after all the shit I put you through without knowing what you been through, Marcus advised me to be there for you and yet I was hardly there”

I felt my eyes fill with venom again but I was still not looking at him so he was not aware of how I was reacting to his declaration. 

“But at the same time I thought it was a bit foolish of you to try to back away from me, you should know from now on that when it comes to you, you can tell me whatever you want, no matter how harsh or straight forward your words might get, I can take it, you are my mate after all. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me or feel the need to distance yourself from me either because I cannot bare being separated from you, incase you haven’t noticed I haven't been feeding lately either, much like I can see from your once glowing amber eyes that I manage to fall for, but back on topic we can work on your healing process together, no matter how long it takes we do have forever after all”

I looked up at him finally to be met with eyes filled with venom too. Not really having control over my mind or body I ran to him to pull him into a deep hug. His arms not thinking twice wrapped around me like if it were second nature to him. At that moment it felt as if our issues never existed and we were happy once again, so this is how Marcus felt with Didyme, now I understand why he was so worried for us. I would rather kill every being who dared to harm Caius in any way, than to see him suffer anymore than he needs. We fit perfectly into each other, it felt like we were molded into one another, it felt like home. I'm finally home in the arms of a man I can trust and…love. 

I looked up at him and gave his cheek a kiss. I was going to kiss his lips but decided to pull a Caius in this situation with a simple “Com tempo”. He smiled lazily at me at the sudden realization that I used the same two words he said to me a while back. 

“I'm willing to go into this bond fully, no more avoiding you because that only causes more harm for us. I don't want to be separated from you either because with all honesty the moment I saw your eyes I was enchanted by you, for a moment I saw a whole future with you and even though I was recoiling from you after each encounter with you, I couldn't help but fall for you a bit each time. Even that kiss made my stomach weirdly flip” 

He caressed my cheek with his thumb while his other arm was wrapped snugly around my waist as we was listening to me. Whereas my hands rested on his chest, I was trying very hard not to look at his exposed chest and or his collarbone, because even this small exposure of skin looked like art. 

“I vow to never become one of those filthy sorry excuses of men, if I could I would hunt them down one by one and drain them completely. No one will harm you, I would certainly never dream of creating such misery for you. But why don't we take some time to spend together and just get everything out. Hmm?”

“I would love that Caius”

He leaned in to give my forehead a tenderful kiss that would have woken Sleeping Beauty herself up. 

-------------------

Epilogue 

‘Dear Carlisle, 

As I write to you, me and Caius have come to be in a better position. We are spending more time together and we have brought up any miscommunication we failed to address from the beginning and solved them up one by one. We are at a point where I feel like we have known each other since the beginning of time. I never felt more at home since before mother passed. Caius really is my other half, we even spend hours in his art room, drawing whatever. He tends to create masterpieces of me being his muse. I even included a painting to this package I am sending of the painting I did from my garden here in Volterra.

I feel more comfortable around the others even, that ick I would tell you about is finally gone and I could spend hours with the guards who I have grown close to. I can never forget to tell you how whenever I talk to Marcus, I see a piece of you in him, I miss you so much but this is the closest I have to having you near me. I hope you and Esme plus the kids are doing well enough. Maybe soon enough we'll see each other, and tell Alice I forgive her, I now know her true intentions and I thank her”

Love y/n”

As Carlisle finished reading out loud the letter to Esme he smiled at the part of seeing his sister soon. But he did not forget to mention to Esme a ‘Finally” after realizing his sister is finally happy with her mate.

[bagdaddyb]

We Should of Been Alt Ending

Pairing: Omega fem!reader x Alpha! Natasha

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI NSFW Angst. No happy ending for Natasha. Implied black reader but no characteristics ever described.

AN: This is what I originally envisioned for the previous request.

Original request

You were so beautiful. That's all Natasha could think everytime she saw you. Previous to your pressence she'd never even given an omega a second glance the desire to mate assumed to be trained out of her by the red room. But when Sam brought you to the compound one day everything changed. The visit was harmless you were an upcoming nuclear scientist with the dream of one day meeting and working with Bruce Banner and Sam was a cocky man out to claim the title of best cousin ever. You hadn't wasted time being star struck by the compound or the Avengers within walking through the building as if it was any other office. You didn't stop to greet the team only pausing a moment to hypothesize about Jarvis. Natasha's sure if she hadn't needed to deliver a paper to the lab she'd never even laid eyes on you, and what a crime that'd of been. Crossing the threshold she froze momentarily, your pressence not only a surprise but a distraction. Her eyes stuck on you taking in your features, your voice, your smile. Natasha couldn't remember the last time she felt heat in her cheeks or a nervous turn in her stomach. After she approached interrupting your conversation as politely as she could you merely smiled and said hello before turning back to the matter at hand. The warmth in her cheeks turned into a burn and her usually steady hands became clamy. Not long after you left that day Natasha couldn't hide her curiosity finding her way back down to the lab to ask Bruce just who you were exactly. It was a week before Natasha saw you again. You'd returned for Banner's opinions on your project having changed things according to his previous suggestions. You walked out of the elevator like you owned the building passing by the Alpha without even a second glance. Her eyes were glued to you warmth coming on in her cheeks as she watched you pass.

"Nat... Natasha!"

Clint yelled as Natasha's water began to overflowed onto the table in front of her. Snapping out of her trance she cursed under her breath moving to quickly clean up the area. She wants to meet you, needs too. Pacing the common room she the next day she contemplated how to approach you. Wondered what she should and would say in your presence. Would you even want to talk to her? Even give her the time?

"Excuse me."

Your familiar voice made Natasha freeze in her tracks. Her eyes glanced around the empty room before turning towards the noise. You stood there with a soft smile on your lips papers in hand and purse still on your shoulder. Warmth covered her face as she took you in and suddenly she was a nervous wreck.

"Y-yes *ehm* Yes ma'am, how can I help you?"

You smiled a little wider at her.

"No need for the ma'am, my name's (Y/N) I was wondering if I could get your help with something. I need not only a fresh perspective but also a guinea pig of sorts and Dr. Banner referred me to you."

She could kiss Bruce.

"Yes of course, what's the project?"

You laughed lightly visibly surprised by her answer.

"Wow I've never seen someone so eager to help another they don't even know. I honestly expected resistance considering the stories I've heard from my cousin but I'll chock that up to him being the head strong handful he is."

Natasha's blush deepened at how deep her crush is being thrown blatantly in her face.

"I am developing an anti-radiation suit that will absorb natural radiation in the air or body filter out the good and infuse the bad into a sort of blaster for the wearer. Dr. Banner mentioned that the design was something close to your widow bites so I was wondering if you'd take a look?"

While the question was more or less out of her grasp with Bruce and Tony having taken on the majority of her suit and weapon production Natasha still agreed unable to give up this opportunity to get to know you.

"Sure."

Over the next few months Natasha's first time crush grew to pure adoration. You were everything to the Alpha and the only person who didn't seem to know it was you. It was a simple Wednesday morning after lab runs on the suit. Natasha tried out the blaster and pretended to help with the calibration. Gripping her coat tightly due to nerves she turned back to you on her way out.

"Hey (Y/N) I know a great coffee place down the street, would you like to grab a cup with me?"

You looked up from your computer meeting soft eyes.

"I'd hate to take up more of your day than I already have. You go have a great time I promise the suit is almost done then you'll be free of my pestering."

Natasha fought back a grimace at your rejection. Again. Was she doing it wrong? She was sure she'd paid close attention to all of Clints advice.

"Have a great rest of your day then."

With that the red head turned and left retreating to the compound. Once there she immediately sought out Clint not knowing what else to do.

"I just don't get it. Am I asking wrong?"

The older alpha couldn't help the smile and soft chuckle as he watched the younger one pace. Thinking back to his younger days.

"No, a girl like (Y/N) is so caught up in her work she can miss the simple things right in front of her."

"Its true."

Sam tuned in from the kitchen, even he was feeling bad for the alpha.

"I bet (Y/N) doesn't even realize you're into her."

The red head let out a frustrated huff hands gripping her hair. Forget all this advice and subtly. Next week she was going to be blunt with you. While the red head was determined to make your next interaction work your cousin was not inclined to wait as long. The next day Sam strolled into your office unannounced not even knocking on the large door before entering despite the risk.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You said clearly displeazed with his abrupt entrance.

"I'm here to point out the obvious to the smartest girl I know."

That made you giggle turning to give him your full attention you cross your arms.

"And what might that be?"

"That a certain alpha who works with you once a week as your lab assistant is crushing on you something aweful."

You laughed audibly this time.

"Natasha? You're kidding. She only sees me as a colleague."

"She has asked you out; and I mean this literally, eight times. She asked you out yesterday for crying out loud. How can someone so smart be so oblivious?"

"No she...."

You pause truly thinking back on the moments Natasha'd invited you places. Remembering her nervous posture. Her let down face at your same response. Remembering how everytime your fingers brushed she blushed or how everytime you smiled at her she stared. She'd always been eager to help you with your project even from the beginning. Thinking on it even then she'd been a blushing mess right in front of you. Your eyes widen in sudden realization.

"Finally."

Sam announces as you raise your hand to cover your dropped jaw.

"Oh my gosh."

"Exactly."

Sam said and suddenly you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you.

"I never thought..... How could I of been...... And she always asked......"

You let go of a sigh rubbing your temples before standing abruptly.

"I have to go see her. She's such a sweetheart and I've been unknowingly rejecting her time and time again. I'm such a dope."

"You said it cousin."

You frown punching him in the arm causing him to flinch.

"Hey what the-"

"Just because I said it doesn't mean you agree dumbass."

The two of you continue to bicker like the siblings you basically were the entire ride to the compound. Your walk to the common room is quick asking Jarvis to summon Natasha to the area politely you think of what you should say. You feel heat in your cheeks due to pure embarrassment shaking your head at yourself.

"Hey (Y/N)."

Natasha's surprised voice rings in your ear and you turn and smile at her.

"Hey Natasha. Listen I want to start off by apologizing. For all my knowledge in science I can't seem to match it in social skills. Believe it or not I've been completely oblivious to your advances until just now I truly thought you only saw me as a co-worker but.... if that offer for coffee is still up in the air, I'd love to go out with you."

Natasha's whole face was on fire after your little speech. Unable to form words she quickly nodded before clearing her throat.

"Of course let me grab my coat."

It's only your sixth date when you go into heat. Natasha was the best. Caring, attentive, patient maybe that's what made you go into your heat a week early or maybe it was the ways her muscles flexed as she pulled herself out of the pool infront of you bending over your body to grab a towel from your shared stack causing your eyes to roam while you locked your bottom lip between your teeth but either way telltale signs of your heat began to flood your body. By the following day you'd fully succumbed keeping it to yourself in an attempt not to rush your new alpha you locked youself in your apartment letting your boss know before tossing and turning in your own bed. Natasha was happy no she was extatic, elated, floating. Words couldn't descibe how happy she's been this past month with you. She'd always imagined what it'd be like to have you as her partner but the reality of it was so much better. Pulling up to your lab with a budle of red roses riding the euphoria she's been feeling for days she couldn't believe how excited she was to see you. Smiling softly to herself as she made her way into the building she wasn't allowed to get far stopped quickly by the kind beta at the front desk.

"Ms. Romonoff! I'm sorry Dr. (Y/L/N) isn't in today."

An eyebrow rose on the Alpha but she nodded thanking the beta all the same. You hadn't mentioned you wouldn't be in, you were always in your lab. Beginning to worry she quickly dialed Bruce who luckily answered after only two rings.

"Hello?"

"Do you have a meeting today with (Y/N)?"

"No our meetings are usually Thursday but she actually just called this morning and cancelled this week."

"Thanks."

Now Natasha was panicking. If she'd been using her logical brain she probably would of been able to piece together why you suddenly weren't at work and cancelled on Bruce only this week. But she wasn't, the first person she's cared for on a deeper level since the red room suddenly disappearing only caused huge red flags to pop up in Natasha's mind. Rushing to your apartment that she shouldn't even know the location of she couldn't help the way her leg jumped nervously and how her hands uncomfortablly gripped the steering wheel.

Please be ok. Please be ok.

Natasha wasn't going to let anything happen to you, she couldn't. When she arrived at your apartment she didn't even bother with the flowers ignoring the elevator to take the steps two at a time. She made it to the fourth floor in record time heart bumping and short breaths coming out of her quickly. Drawing her weapon she knocked on the door three times before beginning a count down in her mind.

5....4....3....2....

You cracked open your door slowly, not expecting visitors and honestly not in a state for small talk. Your eyes doubled in size when you saw the red head on the other side while Natasha let go the loudest sigh of relief you've ever heard. Pushing past your door with ease she invites herself in wrapping you in a tight hug that clouded your thoughts entirely.

"I'm so glad your okay. I wanted to surprise you at work but you weren't there and Bruce told me you cancelled this week I thought the worst."

You weren't exactly sure what she meant by that but you didn't care your alpha was here. You took a deep breath in of her scent eyes dialating at the smell. Arms coming up to hold her close hand slipping into her hair. You wanted her, needed her.

"For someone so smart it's hard to believe you couldn't come up with a logical solution as to why me. An omega. Cancelled her plans for a week."

Suddenly Natasha noticed your strong scent in the apartment, your near naked appreance, the whimpers you kept letting go in her ear.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to rush this but you came to me anyway alpha."

Red flushed Natasha's cheeks as she began to strain against her pants. For a moment she felt stupid so easily pushed into a state of panic but that moment faded as your nails lightly scratched at her scalp pulling her attention back to you.

"My alpha."

Its was a whisper one you let go into her neck but a trigger for Natasha all the same. She needed you, wanted you, had to have you. You were hers and hers alone.

"My omega."

Natasha whispered back placing her nose against your scent gland as she kickes the door shut behind her. Something primal inside Natasha ached for you, she needed you closer. Her roaming hands gripped at you as yours did the same.

"Alpha. Alpha. Alpha."

You whisper taking in her pressence her feel. You've never had an alpha this close during your heat. Honestly you hadn't even considered this a moment that would happen to you. Never thought you'd find a mate like all your friends and family had.

"Mine."

Was all Natasha could respond. She backed you into your couch not romantic but in your collective states neither of you cared. You aren't sure how either of you stripped but you were aware of the drug like euphoria Natasha's skin on yours was giving you. Your hands couldn't stop moving rubbing, touching, and squeezing at every piece of Natasha you could reach. Natasha returned your touches in kind her soft lips pressing against every part of your body before pressing into your own. The kiss was feverish, needy. The contact was enough to make you moan into her mouth causing her length to harden painfully. Your body began to lift against Natasha's in search of friction.

"More."

You weren't sure what you wanted, what you needed more of. You just knew there was something missing.

"My beautiful little omega."

Natasha whispered against your lips moaning out as she began to run her member through your slick.

"Gonna make you my gorgeous mate, gonna fill you with my pup."

You nodded in eager response, nothing had ever seemed more right than this moment.

"Please."

Natasha begins to enter you slowly. Stretching you out in a way none of your dildos ever have. You moan loudly tightly grabbing the back of the red heads neck and pulling her into a seering kiss one she returns eagerly. The moment is all heat and skin. Natasha's hips pound into you on their own accord. Your eyes roll back signalling your first release but it isn't enough for Natasha. She continues her pace like a woman possessed and before you can comprehend your cumming again almost violently.

"Yes omega just like that."

Natasha takes you in, your gorgeous face, stomach full of her. She's going to make you a mother fill you with her pup. Her mate all hers. You feel the heat before you see her face. Natasha's release pushes you into a third of your own.

"My alpha."

You whisper again.

.......

The days that follow as Natasha falls out of her ruts haze she begins to doubt. Sitting on the quinjet on the way to Siberia she can't help but wonder if she's actually ready for this, even deserves it. She has red in her ledger, alot of it and a few months ago she wouldn't of even considered mating. With anyone. How could she be a mother? How could she be a mate? How could she be what you deserved? The week in the cold did nothing but push her further away from you taking her back to her days in the red room which then took her back to her dark past. She couldn't do this. Not with you, you would never live a full life, constantly on the move never safe never happy. You deserve more, more than Natasha can give you. Three weeks later upon her return you await with others on the landing pad. So excited you can't help but bounce the positive pregnancy test burning a whole in your pocket. You were nervous this was the first time you'd see your alpha since your heat and with big news as well but you shouldn't be she was your alpha. Yours. As the quinjet landed your heartbeat quickened to an alarming pace. You bounced on your toes eyes eagerly searching for the soft ones you'd come to dream of. Instead you were greeted by a different alpha though physically the same her body language was different she looked cut off, not meeting your eye. Her exterior seemed hardened. You approached her cautiously, you'd never been here after a mission not even for Sam but you were sure the emotional tole had to be high.

"Welcome back."

Your soft voice sent pain through Natasha. You being here meant what she was about to do was truly about to happen.

"I..."

"(Y/N) listen....."

In an instant you shut down. You should of known better.

"What happened the other night was a mistake. I was distracted by my rut and..."

You grip the pregnancy test in your pocket so tight you're surprised it doesn't break.

"No need to finish. I get it, I should of known better."

You say before walking off. You kept your head held high refusing to let Natasha see the tears you so badly wanted to let go. Your words only cut Natasha depper than her own already were. What had she just done?

.........

Four Years Later

Natasha tied her long red hair back in a loose ponytail as she walked out of her trailer saying a passing goodbye to her cat. The drive into town was long her dark thoughts able to creep up as the time passed on. Exiting her car she entered the grocery store. The trip being a necessity otherwise she wouldn't of bothered leaving her safe house. She went up and down the isles grabbing canned foods for both her and her cat. Items that were long lasting so that another trip like this wouldn't have to happen for months. As her eyes scanned the cans of beans the excited ramblings of a small girl another isle over caught her attention.

"Mommy mommy, can we get this?"

"Mmmh I don't know baby does this match?"

Natasha's ears perked as she heard the one voice she lost hope of ever hearing again. Quickly pushing her cart foreward she moved to the end of the isle to peek around. Could it really be you? Sure enough there you were a small girl in the cart in front of you as you looked at baby items. You glowed as you spoke to the child your familiar gorgeous smile overtaking your face.

"I think I like this one better."

You say to the girl as you hold up a blue cup.

"But dis ones pink."

You giggle at the girl as she pleads her case.

"Don't you think Isaiah would like blue to match his pacifier?"

"No."

You laugh audibly at that and Natasha feels her heart skip a beat.

"Okay baby, we'll get him the pink one."

As Natasha goes to push her cart foreward if only to talk to you one more time another alpha comes around the corner behind you approaching you with an infant.

"Alright I've brought back my clean baby for my pregnant baby."

You smile at the alpha behind you turning to greet them in a kiss before taking the small boy from the alphas arms.

"Mommy I want to see Isaiah!"

You hum as you come around the cart allowing Natasha to take note of your pregnant belly as you bend to let your toddler see your infant.

"He's so pretty mommy."

You kiss the girls head before nodding in agreement.

"Yes he is."

"What about me Avery am I pretty?"

You laugh at your partners antics as the toddler turns her attention to the alpha.

"No."

You visibly hold back your laugh as you come back around the cart to your alphas side rubbing their back lovingly.

"You're pretty to me love."

Your alphas displeased face quickly morphs into one of content as they meet your lips in a soft kiss.

"Thank you baby."

With that Natasha watches as you turn to leave with the family she could of had and the happiness she wishes she could feel. Wiping tears she didn't deserve to let fall she returns to her own shopping the question of what could of been haunting her today just as it'd done the last four years.

[duhragonball]

Chainsaw Man ch. 86-90

The shocking answers to all your existential dancing questions INSIDE!

Okay, so last time Makima basically laid out her true agenda, which is to either take control of Chainsaw Man's reality altering powers, or to die to Chainsaw Man in the attempt.

According to her, the Chainsaw Devil was the one even other devils feared, because when Chainsaw killed one of them, they stayed dead, instead of reincarnating. But devils in this world are manifestations of humanity's collective fear of a particular thing, so the only way to destroy a devil forever is to also destroy the very concept they embody. So in this universe there used to be a historical event called "World War II", which gave rise to a "World War II Devil", I guess. Then Chainsaw Devil killed that guy, and now World War II never happened.

Makima, aka the Control Devil, seems to be the only one who remembers these changes, and she knows Chainsaw Man is responsible for them, so she wants to take that power for herself and control it, natch.

I am not sure if she actually knows how to accomplish this. The Chainsaw Devil became Pochita and merged with Denji back in Chapter 1, and Makima seems to view this as an obstacle. Everything she's done since chapter 1 has been designed to undermine the contract between Pochita and Denji, but they're still combined, you know?

Also, Makima admits that she might lose and get destroyed by Chainsaw Man, so there's a sense of fatalism to her campaign. She's just sort of doing stuff and it's not clear if she cares if it works. She ordered Chainsaw Man to save her from the Hell Devil, and then he got cast down to Hell, and then he made it back, but then he attacked Makima instead of saving her. So I'm not sure what to make of it.

None of this really explains why Chainsaw Man is terrorizing a fast food place in Chapter 85. I think the idea here is that Denji is taking a back seat in this merger, and now we're seeing a more "pure" version of the Chainsaw Devil, without Denji's humanity to temper its actions. It still has Pochita's desire to experience Denji's dreams, though, and Denji once expressed a desire to eat a burger, so I think this is Pochita trying to do that on his own. The problem is that the Chainsaw Devil can't talk or do much of anything without carving up everything around him.

Coincidentally, Kobeni works at this burger joint, since she resigned from Public Safety. I'm not sure she recognizes this new (old?) version of Chainsaw Man, but either way, she's too afraid of it to serve it hamburgers without tripping and dropping the order. Her boss wonders if this is all an elaborate Candid Camera bit, because... well, it probably would make more sense than what is actually happening. Chainsw decapitates him. I'm not sure if this is accidental or not.

Kobeni finally manages to get the food to Chainsaw, who eats it, then recalls Denji's longing to go on a date. Chainsaw would like to do that too, but where would he find a girl to go out with him? Oh, there's one on his left. Perfect!

The bigger question is: Why is Chainsaw bothering with this at all? I think the idea here is that he lacks the sapience that Denji had. Not that Denji was a genius or anything, but he would probably understand that he didn't actually finish off Makima earlier, and he wouldn't just wander off to fool around with Kobeni. Then again, maybe seeking out Kobeni is exactly what he'd do in this situation. Just about everyone else he knows is dead. Denji and Kobeni were never close, but who else has he got left?

Anyway, he makes her dance on some arcade machine and when a Devil Hunter shows up to intervene, he kills that guy. I'm not sure he was in Public Safety or just a civilian hunter, but he had no idea what he was getting into.

Then he just sits around on a rooftop and Makima confronts him again. I think she's been following him for a little while now, and he's finally realized it. Or maybe all that stuff with Kobeni was just him killing time while he waited for Makima to make a move.

This time, Makima has a new squad to back her up. Some of these faces are familiar. Qwanxi, Reze, and the sword guy who was the grandson of the Yakuza guy Denji used to work for. But there's four others making their debut here.

This kind of irritates me, because the returning characters all seemed to be dead, and the implication here is that the other four were also guys we've seen before. I thought the girl was Angel Devil because of the hair and the jacket sleeves flopping around, but she's got her arms crossed and she's just wearing the jacket like a cape. And I thought the blonde guy might be the one who used the Stone Devil Power from a while back. But no, they're all new characters, yet they're presented like callbacks we're supposed to recognize.

Also, it's unclear whether Reze, Quanxi, and the sword guy are back from the dead or simply got brainwashed like everyone else. I enjoyed Reze and Quanxi from before, but this comeback is kind of weak because they're just stooges for Makima now, with no interest in their original motives.

Makima explains this, although I'm not sure Chainsaw is really capable of understanding what she's saying. It sure seemed like Reze and the others had a similar deal to Denji, where they weren't devils or humans or fiends, but a secret fourth thing. Makima confirms that they are indeed a secret fourth thing, and the reason it's a secret is because Chainsaw Man erased that secret fourth thing the same way he erased World War II.

Except... he kind of didn't, because Reze and the others are still here. The name was erased, but they're still around, somehow. The Chainsaw Man wiki calls them "hybrids", so that's as good a name as any. Maybe that's how they survived the erasure. Devils can merge with living humans, clearly, but maybe there's more than one way to do it, and Chainsaw erased one method but not the other. These seven hybrids and Chainsaw Man still exist because they were created with that other process, and Makima isn't aware of the distinction.

Or this erasure thing is bullshit. I mean, Chainsaw Man killed the Gun Devil, right? But there's still guns. Kishibe's group shot Makima earlier today. Chainsaw Man killed the Zombie Devil, but everyone still remembers zombies. Hell, some of Zombie Devil's own zombies were still around weeks after that battle.

So is there some loophole to this? Did Chainsaw Devil's erasure power only work before Pochita merged with Denji? Is that why Makima is trying to separate them? It's the only thing that makes sense to me. She already had Denji under her thumb before, so all of this would have been unnecessary if Denji could fit into her plans.

And maybe this is why Pochita merged with Denji. Perhaps, instinctively, he realized that the hybrids are indestructible enough that they can survive erasure, so combining with Denji would thwart Makima's plans.

I say this because Makima speaks of a battle between Chainsaw Devil, the "Weapon Devils", and the Four Horsemen. I'm pretty sure "Weapon Devils" refers to the seven hybrids under her control right now. As for the Four Horsemen, I went ahead and looked that up on the Chainsaw Man Wiki, and found out Makima is one of them. I wasn't entirely surprised to find that out.

Okay, some Bible triva for you: The Four Horsemen are not "War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death", as depicted in popular culture. The ones depicted in the Book of Revelation are actually named "War, Famine, Conquest, and Death." Conquest has been interpreted as Pestilence over the centuries, and I'm probably not qualified to weigh in on that discussion, but it's pretty clear that Makima is more akin to a conqueror than an infectious disease.

The reason it doesn't surprise me too much to learn all of this is because when Makima explained her plan to Kishibe, she spoke of using Chainsaw's power to erase other problems faced by humanity: war, hunger, and death. It seemed kind of odd to me that she name-dropped three horsemen without the fourth. I'm kind of a mark for this sort of thing so it sticks out when I see it. And it dawned on me that Makima wouldn't want to eliminate conquest because it's kind of her whole thing. So maybe that makes her the fourth horseman. Turns out I was onto something.

And I suppose Makima does sort of tie in to pestilence since she uses vermin to spy on her enemies, and she has that contract with the Prime Minister of Japan to undo her own deaths in exchange for the lives of random Japanese citizens. That's kind of like a plague.

Where was I? Oh, right. So Chainsaw Devil was fighting those eleven guys, then diapered. Makima says they couldn't find him, and that was because he had changed into an unrecognizable, near-death form. This was almost certainly Pochita, and that probably explains why the li'l guy was wounded when Denji first saw him.

So now, Makima can pick up this battle where they left off. Well, without the other three horsemen, apparently. You'd think they'd take an interest in this business, especially since Makima is actively plotting to eliminate them.

I have to say, this battle is kind of... blah for me. Reze and Quanxi were awesome, but Makima's brainwashing just makes them ordinary, especially with five other goons using the same kind of powers. These designs are pretty decent on their own, but part of what made Quanxi work was the way she was totally nude and her arrow stuff conveniently covered up her naughty bits. Reze fought in her barista clothes and then her undies, which was also kind of unique in this series. But now everyone's in a suit and tie, and it kind of falls flat.

The concept here is stretched kind of thin, because all eight of these characters are basically the same idea: a human figure with weapons for their head and arms. Gun Fiend was basically the same deal too, so that makes nine. It reminds me of that joke about how death metal bands all have white logos written in an illegible font. There was a list of bands at some show, and the only one you could read or really notice was "Party Cannon", which had this cutesy colorful logo because it was a My Little Pony reference.

And right now, Makima is Party Cannon, because she's literally the only one in this battle who doesn't look like a scribbly figure covered in screentone. Chainsaw defeats some of the hybrids, but the rest of them combine their attacks and Makima uses her own fingergun thing to try to drive him higher and higher into the air.

So she's going for a Battle Tendency strategy, which I certainly appreciate, but does she seriously expect Chainsaw Man to asphyxiate up there? I mean, if it was this simple, why not lure him into an enclosed space full of nitrogen? He'd suffocate before he realized anything was wrong.

But it's not that simple. Chainsaw just rips his own heart out and tosses it back down to the battlefield. On the way down, it grows back a new everything and I guess the old body dies or whatever.

Once he gets back down, he snares the remaining enemies in chains and...

Hooray, he won! Well, no. He didn't. None of this battle really mattered.

Chainsaw goes right back to where he left Kobeni and makes her dance some more, and then Makima shows up and asks why he doesn't eat her? Wait, is that how it's supposed to work? Chainsaw Devil has to eat a devil to erase what it stands for? No, wait, it can't work that way, but we'll get into that later.

So it's a stalemate, or so it would seem, except Makima has another card to play. Kobeni's fear of Chainsaw Man has diminished somewhat, and this is important because...

... the rest of the world really loves Chainsaw Man. By now, news has spread that the Gun Devil is finally dead, and everyone is grateful to Chainsaw Man for finishing him off. He's a hero! But if devils get their power from humanity's fear, then that means...

Yeah, Chainsaw Man is losing strength. All Makima has to do now is... the exact same thing she did before... and she'll win, because Chainsaw is too weak to resist.

Well, not the exact same thing. This time she just uses Angel Devil's power to make super weapons and throws a big spear down at Kobeni. She knows Chainsaw will step in to protect her, and that takes him down. So it's over, right? Wrong.

Remember Power? She's dead, though. Well, not quite, and Pochita asks her to help.

A while back, Power had Denji drink some of her blood, and this blood is still inside Denji's body, so even though Power's body was destroyed by Makima, a small portion of her lives on inside Denji. That won't last for long, but Pochita proposes that she drink some of his blood, which will... gee this is confusing.

Oh, okay, this is like how devils would eat the Gun Devil flesh to get a power boost. Power is weak, but if she eats some Chainsaw Man flesh she'll get strong enough to help. And she readily agrees because...

... Denji is her buddy. See, this is a really beautiful moment, because the two of them were assigned to work together by Makima, as part of her master plan to build up and tear down Denji's happiness and self-esteem. But what she failed to consider was that their friendship would also change Power into a better person, someone who would upset Makima's plans when she least expected it.

So Makima advances toward the fallen Chainsaw Man, who coughs up blood that turns out to be... whatever this is. Well, it's Power jacked up on Chainsaw Man flesh, but wow.

Makima gets the HOT TAG and she's a HOUSE OF FIRE, but it doesn't take long for Makima to take back the initiative.

She summons zombies to attack and I guess Makima was in control of the Zombie Devil too? All I know is that I don't like what that one zombie is doing near Makima's crotch.

Soon, the tide turns against Power, and Makima commands her to surrender Chainsaw Man to her. Power... agrees immediately. Aw, you let Pochita down! Or did she?

[baileypie-writes]

~My Thoughts on Wonderful Precure: Episodes 21-25~

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This will be updated weekly, so be sure to come back if you want to see my thoughts on new episodes!

~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~

Episode 21 - Mayu and Yuki’s School Life:

I loved this episode! It was so funny!

As expected, Yuki’s good at pretty much everything in school. I wonder if there’s gonna be anything she’s not good at. Maybe there’ll be an episode surrounding that.

I just about died when she tried squeezing into Mayu’s chair, and then tried getting that kid to move out of his, so she could sit next to her. She clearly doesn’t get how assigned seats work. But I guess she’s content enough with having to sit behind Mayu instead.

The whole embroidery thing was super cute. I love how Mayu’s kind of teaching Komugi and Iroha how to do it. Also, I just wanna brag that I knew exactly what the girls were trying to embroider, even though it looked terrible😌.

As a little critique, I thought the whole “backstory” about Mayu and her old friend was really random. It just came out of nowhere, with almost no foreshadowing whatsoever. Yuki treated it like some big, serious thing, but I feel like it’s probably not gonna be mentioned again.

Next, I just wanna take a moment to gush over the “Nyanderful Precure” part. I was really hoping that would happen! I wonder what Satoru and Daifuku would say when if they become Pretty Cures. I don’t know what sound rabbits make in Japan.

I like how the first thing Cure Nyammy does with a Kirarin Animal’s power, is turning Cure Wonderful into a tire. Just thought that was funny. She didn’t bother turning herself into one. Nope, just Komugi.

We also got a new animation for Lillian and Nyammy for calling the animals home. Though, I wonder if they’re using Wonderful and Friendy’s suitcase, or if they got their own and we didn’t see.

Overall, I loved this episode! I can’t wait for the next one!

Episode 22 - Wonderful Go!:

This episode wasn’t my favorite. I’m not a fan of sports/athletics episodes. But it was still alright. I mean, it was super cute. So it couldn’t be awful.

I was a bit confused on how Komugi didn’t understand Iroha’s first commands, because she understands human language perfectly. And she usually obeys every other time. But I guess it was just for the sake of the plot.

It was pretty cool how in sync Wonderful and Friendy were during battle. The platforms were a nice idea too. And it’s great how even though this episode was focused on them, Nyammy and Lillian still got plenty of screen time. They even did the finishing attack.

Lastly, I just wanna express how excited I am for next week’s episode! The festival episodes are always some of my favorites. I love seeing all the pretty yukata designs, and the cute hairstyles! Komugi looked absolutely precious in the preview, and Yuki looked so beautiful!

Episode 23 - Making Wishes, Wao~~~~~n:

I always love the festival episodes. They’re always so fun! And this one was no exception!

Everyone’s outfits were so cute! Komugi’s was definitely my favorite. Precure always puts so much care into designing yukatas for their characters. Well… except for Satoru, I guess. His was so plain.

Mayu’s mom finding out that Yuki can turn human was disappointingly underwhelming. I was expecting her to be overjoyed, but she was so casual about it. But oh well, at least she accepts her.

We also got some foreshadowing to Daifuku becoming a Cure(hopefully)! According to Yuki, he’s no ordinary rabbit! And of course, we also got some cute little crush moments from Satoru. The part where he helped Iroha with her sandals was so sweet!

Also, all the Kirarin Animals are back! But it seems something else is coming…

I hope we get some real villains soon! Maybe then, the Pretty Cure will actually start fighting!

Lastly, I gotta talk about the new ending.

It was so good!

I can’t decide if I like this one better, or the first one. The song is just so cute and upbeat! And it sounds so unique compared to all the others! It is a bit sad that they got rid of the expensive models though..

I wonder how they’ll add the midseasons to it. Maybe, we’ll get a whole new song entirely? Though that’s probably just wishful thinking…

Episode 24 - A Very Strange Egg:

This episode was alright. Not my favorite, but it was good!

First thing I wanna get out of the way is that I had no idea Niko-sama was a girl. I always thought of her as a boy haha. Not that it matters, but I was just shocked for a second.

I’m very curious as to what Niko-sama will look like. Judging by the horn on the egg, it’s clear she’ll be at least a bit unicorn-like. But Mey-Mey said that there are no other animals like her, so she might be completely unique. Although, unicorns don’t exist, so she might just be one. But at the same time, horses are almost identical. Hmm.

I was super excited that the egg only lit up once everyone was touching it, including Satoru and Daifuku! Hopefully this is a sign of them becoming Cures! Also, it’s super weird how the egg keeps teleporting to Iroha’s house. I wonder why it does that…

Next, I’m gonna mention the new version of the ending! We got a Nyammy and Lillian duet! I really like it. It’s very sassy and cool!

I’m not super excited for the next episode. It’s clearly a beach filler episode, which I’m not a fan of. But I do have to say this: Komugi’s swimsuit is adorable! I want it for myself!

Episode 25 - Summer! Beach! Homework!:

Just as I suspected, this episode was just filler. But it was still alright.

I really liked the design of the girls’ swimsuits! I want to own all of them! Well… except for Satoru’s. Did the designers even try with his outfits?

I surprisingly learned quite a bit about sea turtles. I didn’t know that the temperature could determine the gender! Thanks, Satoru!

I found it pretty odd how the focus and drama all of a sudden shifted to Mayu and Yuki during battle. It just felt really random. The drama was really laid on thick too. It really wasn’t all that necessary.

All in all, this episode was fine. But I hope the next one will be better.

~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[digimonadventurezero]

Well...

Not sure how many people are still following this blog, or rather who's still interested on those headcanons + ideas i had in the past...

But Rui's existence goes against ▽ events and i'd like to clarify that i don't think it's a TOTAL RETCON like a ton of people are either celebrating or complaining.

I'd like to give you my own "solution" to keep Maki and Daigo + their group existing in the timeline.

First, the frustrating part about working with ▽ events and them is that there's no information about their respective ages, and we saw them in Uni as well. A friend of mine pointed this out as the biggest problem to use ▽ as it is. You either pick it or 02TB. My research about the said backstory scenes in pt4 led me to discover that... those scenes also are hard to know when they take place.

Not even the ref sheets has a single age or grad to get an approximated age for them, or when those scenes took place. They only state that those two designs are from "Elementary School" and "University" -- but the Elementary grades are not even here!? Unlike the Adv'99 & 02 kids' profiles in their respective series, which listed at least their school grades so you could know they're around their 10s.

But we know the original lore from Adv'99 + 02 -- there were other groups before Taichi & Daisuke's. One of them were depicted in Adv'99 anime and novel -- a group of five kids, and four of them got their partners evolved into the Holy Beasts (according to the Adv'99 novel). This is also used in ▽ pt4, at least. They changed a few details alas, but my point is... Until here it's everything OKAY, right?

The problem starts with the Uni scene and them being Data Bureau agents in 2005. It could mean they're way older than Taichi -- including Rui (who's a leap baby from 1992!) and this would get in conflict with their own Digi-Adventure flashbacks. Many people believed they weren't from the 90s but before the 90s because of that. You could then think they had no relation to the math lore or something, but then the presence of Homeostasis in that cold-opening for pt4 and the digivice model makes things EVEN WORSE to work with.

But like i said, i love both Maki-Daigo and Rui so i want them to co-exist. Hence why i'm believing in a partial retcon in terms of those two's ages. And it's quite recently that we all got more info about the math lore, and more confusing statements in the end...

Anyway, my solution is:

Maki-Daigo's group is indeed the quintet mentioned in Adv'99 & Novels. They were around Adv!Taichi's age when they went to the DW but possibly the other three in the group were either 2 or 3 years older. Maybe they're like the 02 kids, and weren't chosen exactly in the same year? Possibly the oldies were the other 3 who got mons alongside Menoa (she's the same age as Taichi and got her mon in 97), But Daigo and Maki got their mons in 98, alongside other 7 people...? And their Adventure was indeed in 1998.

Daigo's love confession scene has no calendars or anything to point the year he had confessed his love for her, besides being SNOWING outside -- so it's probably Winter. They're said to be Uni students, so my conclusion is...

... That the Data Bureau possibly recruited them around that time, and they're not even in their 30s in ▽? They might be even 19 years old, and only got high roles in the Data Bureau because of their title as Chosen Children and connection with Homeo + Gennai.

They aren't the first ones, but actually they might be the first group of kids who went to the DW instead.

This is my own solution for the problem. Again, I'd prefer to believe in a soft retcon or changes from the events -- in which said events in the timeline weren't presented as it is to us. Therefore i'd prefer to believe my awful people OTP is still alive and they can meet my sad potato someday.

I'd like to simple just retcon their ages from 1998 adventure and make them be 13-14 years old there, so then you could have them be in their twenties when they were recruited by the Data Bureau...

Anyway, i understand when some peeps say they can't make ▽ work with Adv'99/02/Kizuna/02TB as it was presented to the audience, because it's a hard task orz

[monochromaticblue]

Today I bring you, shuake spiderverse au

Tomorrow? Who knows.

Adding a break bc I’m going to RAMBLE

Ren is the one who gets bit by the spider obv

Have yet to decide on a name for him, Joker doesn’t feel spidery enough and Phantom Spider seems too on the nose but.

Goro is a detective working on hunting down said spider person, who keeps flirting with him.

Ren was a former member of spider society before quitting bc Miguel sucks. But he did make some friends in the form of his pre-existing friends from other universes who are spider people too.

That sounded rlly confusing hang on.

The PTs in Rens universe all help him out behind the scenes but then there’s also universes where each of them is the spider in that universe, so Ren has two sets of friends who are the same people. One of the Futabas made an app that lets them travel between dimensions without alerting spider society.

I have ideas to make each of the palace people (-Futaba probably) a big villain that Ren has to face all while dodging the really pretty detective who wants to arrest him.

Until Ren isn’t the only spider in his own dimension. Enter Akechi once again, now working alongside Ren as his own maybe spider themed alter ego that I also haven’t named…

except he wasn’t bit by a radioactive spider, his suit is entirely tech made to mimic Rens abilities (Goros ass cannot do whatever a spider can) featuring a very fun little ai named Robin Hood who keeps commented on Goro’s elevated heart rate when he looks at Ren. Wonder why.

The two continue to work together alongside the other spider thieves up until Ren and Goro wind up on a mission alone together in a lab, the very same lab Rens spider came from, where everything goes wrong, they get separated for a bit but manage to make it out in once piece.

Goro starts acting different after this though, becoming more snappy and never seeming to be available, always spacing out too. Also, there’s a new terror said to be attacking people at night, leaving its victims without heads. (If you can guess where this is going ily)

Ren, worried about his partner in stopping crime, goes to visit Goros apartment one night only to find it entirely a mess, unfortunately he can’t stay for long since there’s screaming down the street. Upon investigating, Ren comes face to face with the very creature he was hoping he wouldn’t have to see.

A thing a whole foot taller than him with a black and white striped body that almost resembled his suit in a way. Ren honestly would have thought it was a suit if not for the giant fucking mouth full of teeth and the horns. After promptly beating the shit out of Ren, the creature proudly announces itself as Loki.

Haven’t exactly figured out how the reveal happens yet but I do very much enjoy the idea of Goro having his own version of the iconic “we are venom” scene from the movie.

But basically Goro joining up with Loki was always the plan. His reasoning for teaming up with Ren is the same as in the game and he yeaa he’s been working with Shido, the mayor, this entire time :D the lab was entirely planned aswell. What wasn’t planned was how much of an impact Loki would have on Goros mental state, but he’s fine. Totally.

Blah blah shit happens, Shido becomes a major threat and Goro finally teams up with the Inter-Dimensional Spider Team for real to help take him down. Things don’t go according to plan, there’s a lot of fire, Goro can’t use Loki and Ren fails to save him! Tada! Canon event!!! *cue Miguel’s theme or whatever*

I want to include third semester because I think it would be cool but I just. Can’t think of how to make it work. But it would result in Goro coming back and finally learning how to get along with Loki.

This has been haunting my mind for weeks every since my friend sent me a design of spider Akiren.

Alsooo since there’s an alternate universe where each of the thieves got spider powers

This also means there’s a universe where it’s Goro.

Why have I strictly been using Ren this entire time? Because Akira is the one in Spider Goro’s world, with his symbiot Arsene

He’s uh. A little fucked up.

Thank you for listening to the deranged ramblings of a mad man, see you next millennium

[thevindicativevordan]

I'm conflicted about the Maker as a character. On one hand, he's a great dark reflection to 616 Reed. He's what Reed would be if he never were confronted by the damages his ego might cause (in 616 Reed's case, the fact that it was his ego that made his loved ones change forever, while the accident was Doom's fault in 1610). He is arrogant, selfish, hyper-competent and a super-scientist-genious who, instead of fiding solutions with humanizing elements to the world's problems like 616 Reed does, doesn't care about ethics or morality, instead trying to create a perfect world regardless of how many have to die or suffer for it, whom he doens't spare a second thought for or feel guilt about.

On the other hand, I feel that WHAT he is is more interesting then HOW he became this way and WHY, and I kinda need to know the how and why to fully understand and appreciate him. I've recentely read the Ultimate Doomsday trilogy and the reasons for Reed to turn bad, the turning point to be precise, and what he was plannig exactly were… unclear to me.

His demeanor seems to change according to the writter as well. I've read the first 12 issues of Ultimate Comics: Ultimates and Hickman writes him as calm and condescending, someone who doesn't show his strong emotions, which is great. But after Humphries start co-writing from issue 10 to 12, his characterization and voice change. He is much more extrovert, so to speak, more prone to showing emotions, and he seems more generic. Also, some writers write him as still loving Sue, while Hickman doesn't seem to write him that way (the Maker doesn't show interest for the Sue in Secret Wars and he kills 6160 Sue).

I think what I want to ask is: do you also think the Maker has been inconsistently written as a character? And do you also think that the why he does things and the how he became the way he is are necessary for enjoying/understanding his character?

Oh he's a fucking incoherent mess. As a concept he's great, as an evil Reed under Hickman he's great. As the evolution of Ultimate Reed he makes zero sense.

Bendis depiction of his "fall" was awful and incoherent. Under Bendis, Reed instantly becomes the type of guy willing to commit cold blooded murder against both his family and other heroes for no real reason. If Reed is pissed about the military controlling everything, why is he trying to kill Peter Parker? Shouldn't he be trying to kill Nick Fury and destroy SHIELD? That at least would make sense, Ultimate Nick Fury is a fucking awful person. Instead he murders his entire family instead of just his asshole dad because... I don't know, he's just evil now. A writer can't write someone smarter than them, and Bendis is just not the guy for tackling the world's smartest heroic mind descending into villainy. Reed's plan is dumb and paper thin.

A better approach would have been that Reed creates minions and has them attack various heroes and SHIELD, but only the attack on SHIELD is genuine. All the attacks on heroes are false flags designed to fail, Reed even has them attack himself and his home to make it look like he's a victim too. Only his dad gets killed because his dad was the one Reed hated. Reed's plan is to kill off the military handlers, and bring the heroes together to solve a threat by themselves, in hopes that everyone will see they don't need to be taking orders from SHIELD. Heroes can solve problems on their own. Reed also wants to reunite the Fantastic Four and thinks that this could remind the other three why they need each other. Of course the other heroes find out that Reed is responsible and attempt to bring him in, with Sue, Ben, and Johnny turning on him being what sends Reed off the deep end. He becomes the Maker and resolves to build a family in his image which will be what he wants them to be.

Other writers desperately tried to reconcile Ultimate Reed with how Bendis portrayed his fall but it just never worked. Hickman had the right approach, he threw Reed into the City where times passes at an accelerated rate to justify the changes. Maker isn't human anymore, not really. He's been alive for so long that his perspective on everything has changed - or so it seems. It's tough to talk about Maker in Ultimates because Hickman never got to finish his story. No doubt in my mind that the Maker storyline was meant to run for a while, but Humphries understandably didn't want to be saddled with another writer's storyline forever. My recollection is that Humphries worked off of Hickman's notes, and while the execution differed it's possible that some of what Humphries did was Hickman's intention.

Some of what Maker does under Hickman doesn't make sense if Maker is as cold and pure logic-based as he tries to come off as. For example the City is on Earth instead of the moon or whatever because the City needs a "solid foundation" which presumably means Earth like conditions. Ok - why the hell does Maker put his City in Europe? Why not Antarctica or some other remote location? In Hickman's New Avengers, Maker recreates the City in a remote region of South America, which means he had other options. Putting his City in Europe feels like he was itching for a fight. Obviously there was quite a bit of gap in time between when Hickman wrote those two issues, but then there's other odd behavior. Why does Maker insist on humiliating Thor by forcing Thor to serve as his messenger instead of just... sending a message? Why bring Falcon in and show off the City instead of kidnapping world leaders for the same effect? My belief is that Hickman does not intend for Maker to be pure logic. Spite is definitely a big part of what drives him. On some level Maker was clearly itching for revenge and for praise from his former comrades. He wanted to hurt them and impress them, or at least rub in their faces what he had achieved.

Wish Hickman would share what the original plans were, but if Humphries really was working off his notes I could totally buy that Maker was going to be brought down by a need to impress Sue. He'd bring her into the City to brag and flex on her, the jilted boyfriend simultaneously hoping to hurt her for leaving him and win her back, and she would bring him down. Unlikely that Hickman would have Reed outright admit that the way Humphries did, but as an undercurrent to his actions he may not even be aware of himself? Yeah I could buy that. As for why he doesn't care about the other Sues, he spells out in Secret Wars: they're not his Sue.

Even Hickman has him admit that he's wondered what his life would have been like if he had gotten the life 616 Reed did. Plus there's his whole torturing of 6160 Reed. He could have killed 6160 Reed along with the other three, but he didn't. Instead he turned the guy into Dr. Doom and attempted to break him. Why? What purpose does that serve? 6160 Reed knows Maker hates him but can't figure out why. My theory is that it's because Maker is trying to take a Reed who is similar to 616 Reed and transform the guy into a monster like him. It's his middle finger to 616 Reed. Maker wants to prove that 616 Reed isn't better than him, if Mr. Fantastic had lost his family and been put through hell like Maker had, he would break too. That 6160 Reed is, so far, not a monster like Maker pisses Maker off. It's not logical to keep 6160 Reed around, and doing so leads to Maker's fall.

Hope that long winded rant clarified my thoughts for you. Moving on to the second part, do we need to know the how and why of Maker to enjoy him? Depends on how he's used. Something like Cates' Venom run, no. Maker is just an Evil Reed there, we don't need his backstory to understand that he's a power hungry bastard out only for himself. Per Cates himself, Maker is there because he wanted a dark reflection of the Peter/Mr. Fantastic relationship, and it's enough that Maker is a villain working with a dark anti-hero Venom to help facilitate that. Now in Ultimate Invasion, yes you do need to understand the how and why. Problem is that it's not clear why Maker does a lot of what he does. His creation of the Ultimate Illuminati is explained and makes sense, but what is his endgame? What does he want 6160 to become? I can't tell you. No clue at all what his endgame is supposed to be. Does he want to turn the world into a global version of the City? Does he genuinely want to make a utopia? He seems content to let his underlings run their fiefdoms with a relatively free hand. 6160 America appears to be much more advanced thanks to the technocrats running things. Even allows Howard Stark and Bruce Banner to express misgivings about his rule. Public seems to think he's a great guy, presumably he didn't kill a shitload of people to build his society this time around. We needed more info on what his plans were and we didn't get them.

Maker is a fun character and also an inconsistent mess. One does not always preclude the other. Now my personal opinion is that he's approaching the end of his lifespan, I think Hickman needs to give him an ending. Whether that's death or something else I don't know, but a confrontation between Maker, Mr. Fantastic, and DoomReed is all that's left to do with him I feel. Hickman is really the only one who has used him to his full potential anyway. Give him a proper send-off to close the door on the old Ultimate Universe as we move into the new one.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

No offense but I think the pups swap places/jobs idea can work. If they were trained for the job before claiming that job. In the show, we only barely seen the pups do training whenever they handled a new job on subseries. Also the pups also canonically did eachother's jobs together on the Ultimate Rescue subseries. I think the jobs don't necessarily have to be assigned on one breed because it's designed for that breed. Paw Logic, anyone can do the job as they aren't too small for it.

*Distinctly remembers a whole entire episode of Ryder doing some last/final training for sea rescues with his pups, in which Rocky failed the test and could NOT join the rescue efforts until the very end when he finally decided to go into the water-- Also how at some point Everest went with them in the Sea Patroller for her first time and Ryder made a point to say she wouldn't join the rescue efforts exactly for the reason she wasn't trained for it yet, until they had something done about that too so she could officially become a Sea Patrol pup too-- ALSO clearly remembering an episode where Chase was training motorcycle driving/maneuvers with Wild at least until his allergies affected him too much to keep going--*

There were several instances where we get to see the pups training or practicing. Just because we don't see them getting PREPARED PREVIOUSLY for a new job role every time there's a new subseries, doesn't mean they weren't at all ever. It's a kids show, they don't show EVERYTHING, they cut straight to the point most times. "Kids won't want to see them training, it's boring, it's like doing homework. They'll want to see the action, the rescues, the pups driving new cool vehicles already." That's the same reason why we don't get "slice of life" scenes either, only when it's for something to happen that will be relevant for the episode's plot - in other words, no slice of life at all.

As for the Ultimate Rescues, it's always the main six pups. They've lived together for years now, they've seen each other practicing and performing their duties, they've helped each others with their tasks and rescues countless times. And even then, each pup goes for a specific role in the umbrella of the job at the time, and are still led through on what to do by the pup who's responsible for that job.

On ONE thing you're right, the jobs do NOT need to specifically go for a specific breed. What I was saying in the other post was that the show producers did that anyway for the main six pups. The police pup is the German Shepherd. The firefighter is the Dalmatian. The Lifeguard is the Labrador. The aviator is the lightest pup. The constructor/builder is the stronger pup. The eco/creative is the mutt - I could actually complain on this one since it reinforces the stereotype of mutts being the ones who are abandoned on the streets ever so often and eating from dumpsters and trash cans, thus making Rocky be the one who messes with trash, they just made it fancy and eco-friendly for a good message for the audience.

For the other pups, they got jobs according to their own life experiences. Liberty works in the big city where she lives. Rex works with the dinosaurs where he grew up. Tracker works in the jungle where he lives too, and so on. They didn't need "training" for their jobs, they just got roles to patrol and care for the places they're already familiar with, and when trouble comes, they call for backup from Ryder and the main six.

Swapping places and jobs WOULD mess stuff up, whether we like it or not. Some won't be able to perform as well once they're out of the element they're familiar with, not without proper guidance. THIS is what I mean with "responsibility first" on that other post as well, switching places only for fun is one thing, but if they try to go on a rescue acting in someone else's place just for fun to see how that goes, that would be irresponsible and could put people in danger if they're suddenly unable to perform as well as the other would. Taking over someone who's currently unable to work - like how Chase tried to work in Rubble's place once before - is already dangerous as it is, let alone if there would be no real necessity to do such a thing.

TL;DR:

The very producers ignored the "No job is too big, no pup is too small" to assign specific jobs for specific breeds with the main six pups;

The pups DO have regular training sessions but we only get to see it happening a few times, only when it's relevant for the episode's plot;

Ultimate Rescues are performed only by the main six from what I've seen in the show so far, which means the very pups who live all together at the Lookout for years and have been following each others practices to know enough to perform slightly better than average at each others jobs, and even then it's mostly for specific things that fall into their own expertise areas;

Nothing changes the point that taking a pup from one job/location to another where they're not familiar with and make them perform an actual rescue with stuff they're not familiar with is not only irresponsible but also dangerous for them and for the people/animals in need of rescue.

The producers created the so-called "Paw Logic" to simplify things and make them work for episode/plot convenience, especially given the short time span for each episode - regularly 10 minutes only, with some specials being 20 minutes long and the "short movies" being around 40 minutes each. 10 minutes isn't exactly enough time to waste around showing slice of life, or pups practicing. They need to cut straight to action.

Meanwhile, I apply real world logic to make sense of things we didn't get to see on screen, that's why I'm tagging stuff as "Paw Patrol Headcanons". That's MY way of thinking these things through. You happen to have different ideas, good for you, you can work on them and create your fan content. I'll work on mine and create fan content as well. Win for the fandom as a whole, getting more content in different ways, with diverse storytelling by other fans.

[applestorms]

"quick" reflection on intelligence in homestuck:

i've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially in conjunction with my john post, so i just wanted to make a little reflection about it.

this is going to be relevant to a greater wip post on dirk strider & plato more generally, but i'm going to phrase all of this within the terms of the allegory of the cave (and more generally the metaphysics plato talks about in books v-vii of the republic) for clarity.

SO, if you somehow you missed out, here is the basics of the allegory of the cave: within the metaphor, a bunch of people are chained to the ground with their backs to the entrance of this cave, unable to look anywhere other than directly in front of them. behind their backs is a fire, and between that fire and the people there is a line of puppet masters holding up puppets reflecting real life objects that are then projected onto the walls of the cave for the chained people to see.

at some point, for some reason, a person (namely, a philosopher) will be dragged out from their chains, kicking and screaming, to the mouth of the cave and tossed into the real world. there they will be met by a number of new objects to perceive, all vastly different from the shadows on the walls that they had previously been seeing. instead of the shadow of a horse, they'll see a whole ass real horse, out in the daylight and everything, though first they might have to come to terms with seeing a reflection of that horse in water. essentially their perception of the world will blow their fuckin mind but by the end of it they'll totally love this new world of light and real actual objects and never want to leave it.

at some point though, they'll be obligated to come back and join the others in the cave once again. coming back down they might struggle to word exactly what it is that they saw outside of the cave, or may be laughed off by the people who have only ever seen shadows and only ever understand shadows, but because they have that knowledge, it is now their duty to lead the others, at least for a little while, before they can go back into that bright, sunny world again.

there are a ton of ways that this story can be relevant in homestuck, and i do wanna get into that at some point in the future (e.g. the puppets, light as knowledge w/ rose, plato's elitism especially w/ regards to the philosopher ruler, etc.) but for now to focus on intelligence:

there are two types of intelligence in homestuck, which can in the terms of plato's cave allegory be categorized as knowledge of the Forms (or the "true" intelligence that you gain by leaving the cave) and knowledge of the Mimics/Imitations (or the intelligence you gain by watching the shadows on the wall). note that plato gets hells of into talk about imitations around ehh books ii-iii i believe but also especially in book x right at the very end, mostly in his criticisms of the works of hesiod/homer (also yes this is related to the mimesis shit from detective pony).

in homestuck terms, these categories can be described as knowledge of the world and knowledge of the World, or actual knowledge of how real life things work vs. knowledge about the meta structure of homestuck as a comic and how the fictional world functions (the game rules, you could say). interestingly, meta knowledge about the world of the comic as a story seems to be privileged here, which perhaps makes sense since it feels more significant for a fictional character to be aware of details about their own story. to give an example that might help: this is knowledge about computers (understanding the shadows) vs. knowing that the laws of the world they live in are based around computers (understanding the Forms, or the origin of reality).

what this means is that characters designated as intelligent in homestuck can also be split along the same lines according to which kind of knowledge they have, which of course can change over time as well. take jade, for example: she is just generally quite smart in that she understands a lot of physics and quantum mechanics science-y shit, but also by the fact that she has access to some greater Knowledge at the start of her arc through the visions she gets from prospit. dirk is intelligent in the shadow-knowledge sense because he understands the history of humanity leading up to its eventual death at the hands of HIC, but seems to struggle a lot more to access that greater Knowledge, which i think is actually shown a lot more in the post-canon stuff w/ all of the ultimate self shit. jake on the other hand might be lacking intelligence in terms of shadow-knowledge (maybe, it's kinda hard to tell, actually- i would say this is true just because he doesn't seem to care all that much about studying in the same way dirk does) but he at least subconsciously is frighteningly aware of how the World works, as seen here (A6A3:4928):

JAKE: The demon you say im supposed to defeat? ARANEA: Yes. JAKE: Hang on. JAKE: Would that be the same demon im named after? ARANEA: Who told you that? JAKE: Uh... JAKE: I guess technically my own brain did? ARANEA: That's interesting. ARANEA: I wasn't planning on mentioning that. Or at least not just yet.

the most straightforward example here though is rose, who through her status as a seer of light just so so so perfectly fits into having knowledge of the Forms. the association in the original text of the republic of light and Forms knowledge fits this perfectly too.

one caveat to this view of intelligence is that it doesn't necessarily account for emotional intelligence, which i would actually put in a fully separate category that karkat obviously fuckin rules over (and roxy, to some degree). what's important though is that this structure separates out the intelligence of Omniscient/semi-omniscient beings (doc scratch, hal, kinda calliope but ehh i'll get to that) from normal super-smart kid intelligence, which is key when trying to analyze what characters are actually aware of, and from that, what we can actually trust when it comes to analyzing homestuck's lore. we really can't forget here that homestuck is a story told almost entirely through dialogue and conversations meaning that pretty much all lore comes through potentially biased narrators, something that is especially true for the alpha kids but really applies to pretty much everyone. sometimes the story will hint at knowledge that we can trust as fact straight up, i.e. rose explaining how dead/void sessions work in A6I2, but this is definitely not always the case and personally i think it helps a lot w/ analysis to be able to be explicitly aware of this, especially since imo a lot of misconceptions about the alpha kids stems from this kind of thing

anyways, some interesting cases that come out of this view:

calliope: calliope technically has knowledge of the Forms through how she is basically just a reader of homestuck, but because of that very same perspective she's also not a fully trustworthy narrator since 1. her version of the story is explicitly heavily redacted, and 2. she's in the same position as the audience in trying to piece everything together, meaning that all of her "lore" is really just theories that she's put together herself

terezi: i'm not sure what to make of mind as an aspect, especially in conjunction to light. i'm actually inclined to say this is, like, knowledge of shadows Plus since a lot of what we see w/ terezi is basically just knowledge of every possible timeline? maybe it would be better to put knowledge of aspects into a subcategory of knowledge of Forms, since aspects are kinda like laws of the fictional universe. the fact that mind is specifically put as complementary to heart (and therefore souls/identity) is also a really interesting idea and i wanna explore that more, it's such a weird aspect especially when you have light and all of its connotations right there. (the knowledge of aspects as subcategory might also help in making sense of sollux's mage of doom shit, and also the fact that john is like pure intuition, very fitting of the heir of breath)

gamzee: gamzee's whole breakdown is basically just him gaining knowledge of the Forms and getting pissed about it (getting dragged out of the cave and not being happy with the world he sees and/or the implications that has for the shadows he had relied on for his religion previously) but i almost feel like there should be more to this since clowns are so fucking weird in general w/ all of the meta shit. it almost feels wrong to call gamzee a character after his icp-induced mind break, he loses his personality so strongly to the point of just becoming a fuckin plot device.

in conclusion: i need to talk more about dirk strider. LATER later

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 4: Anathema

Today has been a bit of a mess, and now we've had a small change of plans because today's intended fic is missing a chunk.

So we have two scenes from Anathema since @sonyawix asked so nicely. These follow on straight from Alice and Jasper's very awkward and public first meeting; Anathema is so fun to write honestly.

I hope everyone has a good day, and I'll be back tomorrow!

anathema

The car ride home from the meeting was silent, with both Freddie and I mulling over what had just transpired with the Cullens, and exactly what it meant for us.

Because there was one thing we didn’t want anyone to figure out, especially the council. 

And it was the fact that I wasn’t entirely human. I wasn’t just gifted. 

My biological father was a vampire. 

It was practically unheard of, according to Jeannie. Nearly impossible for a vampire to father a child, let alone for the mother to carry the pregnancy to term. And Jeannie had never heard, in all her family’s diaries and archives, of any of the mothers surviving the birth. 

My mom had been no exception. Lilian Brandon-Myer had died within moments of my birth, when I had ripped my way out of her body with her sharp little teeth. The human body isn’t designed to survive that kind of trauma. I keep telling myself that - there was no way anyone could have saved her. It was a damn miracle that she had even made it that far, really. 

I really didn’t know that much about her. She’d been twenty-seven years old, worked at an art gallery, and had been married for two years, to Richard. I had one memory of her, wispy and thin since I was only moments old - wide blue eyes in a thin, pale face; dark hair, and a lot of blood. She was probably already dead. 

My mother had been Freddie’s baby sister, and he had doted on her - I’d heard all the stories, how much he’d adored her. He’d been completely and utterly destroyed when my mother had died. Hell, Jeanie had alluded that she and Freddie had cared for her during her pregnancy, trying to keep her alive long enough to give birth. And then I had been born a freak of nature, growing so much faster than a human baby. They couldn’t dump me on social services when, by my first birthday, I was already the same as a human three-year-old. 

And Mom’s husband had been too… normal to take me, and I’m not sure he’d have wanted to; I was what killed her. He never would have been able to cope with the realities of the supernatural, let alone raising a vampire-human hybrid who aged three times faster than an ordinary child. Jeanie, at least, had one foot in the supernatural world, and generations of family lore and history to navigate raising me safely. 

She always said that she and Freddie had never been blessed with children of their own, so I was their special gift. I don’t know if either of us really believed that but it was a nice sentiment. 

Even my ‘sister’ wasn’t really any relation to me. Cynthia was Richard’s daughter with his second wife, and my one link to the real, normal world. I had no idea how Freddie convinced Rich to let us be raised as ‘sisters’, but I was grateful - I adored Cynthia, and I wish we could have spent more time together. Rich was actually a really nice guy; he called me on my birthday, and sent me gifts, and always told me that I was the spitting image of Mom and she would have been so proud of me. Honestly, everything I know about Mom, I got from Rich; Freddie never spoke of her, and Jeanie always promised she’d tell me more when I was older. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked softly, and Freddie sighed and shook his head. “D’you want me to go to the beach house?”

Freddie and Jeanie raised me in an isolated house near Neah Bay for the first couple of years, to keep me out of sight - Freddie commuted to the funeral home as needed. As far as the Forks’ locals knew, I had come into their custody when I was ‘twelve’; in reality, I was fully-grown at seven years old and was just slight enough to pass as a middle-schooler with a few adjustments - it’s amazing what a too-big dress and a pair of pink plastic glasses could do. I really had looked like a child being raised by an older couple; awkward and unfashionable. 

But we’d kept the beach house; Freddie and I drove up a few times a year to make sure it was maintained and secure. Freddie had gone to no small amount of trouble and expense to make sure that no one knew we owned the property, especially anyone in Forks. It had to stay as a safe house in case everything went sour. 

One thing that Jeanie was intensely aware of was the Quileutes’ history with the Cold Ones, and she swore that they could never, ever know about me. That she didn’t know what the Blacks and the Clearwaters would do if they found out about me. They would certainly argue that we couldn’t function as Mediators, because we couldn’t be impartial when my sperm donor was a vampire. There was a very, very good chance they’d banish me from the reservation, and hold me to the treaty - if not try and run Freddie and I out of town entirely. 

Or even try to hurt me. 

I hated that; the idea that Sue Clearwater - who had done so much heavy lifting in our household after Jeanie died - could turn on me. That Leah and I wouldn’t tease each other, or that I’d never be able to go down to La Push with the twins again. Besides, I was functionally human - I ate, I slept, I bled, I used the bathroom, I wasn’t venomous - Jeanie had run dozens of tests over the years. My heart-beat was faster than a humans, and I ran warm on a good day, but now that I was mature, I was just me. Just Alice Brandon, illegal mortician. 

And Jeanie and Freddie had established so many precautions over the years - Jeanie had avoided feeding me blood as a baby or any sort of meat - raising me as a vegetarian human - and to this day I wonder if that’s why I’m so small, that my growth was somewhat stunted. But it was a choice she made for my best interests, so I couldn’t hold any resentment for that. I had been kept away from other children and most other humans until I was fully grown and could understand the severity of the situation and how important the rules were; and even then, I had dozens of rules about things I could and couldn’t do, so not to ever reveal any similarity to vampires. 

But Jeanie was certain that Sue and Billy Black would basically turn me into a pariah if they ever caught wind of the situation, and she hadn’t wanted that for me. So, we had kept that a secret. We never spoke of it. 

But now that the Cullens were here, everything was at risk - would they know? Would they guess? Had they guessed? Vampire senses were so strong, and perhaps Jasper’s reaction to me had been because of my biology - would my reaction to Jasper Cullen clue anyone in, or could it be hand-waved away by my gift?

And if they did figure it out, would they tell the Council - perhaps use it as a bargaining chip to renegotiate the treaty?

I didn’t know. I couldn’t know; no decision had been made. But I didn’t want to discuss it with them, perhaps negotiate for their silence, in case they hadn’t worked it out. 

Ugh, I hated this so much. I was already mentally packing my bags to hide up in the beach house until we could guarantee I was safe. I’d have to stay there alone; Freddie had the funeral home to run. I’d be lonely and bored and worried, stuck in an old house that was full of ghosts. It was Jeanie’s house, and being there without her… I didn’t like it. 

We pulled up in front of the funeral home and Freddie looked at me. “It’s alright Alice,” he said finally, sounding tired. “We’ll go in and talk to the others, and worry about everything else tomorrow. There’s no need to panic, I promise.”

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” I said softly, and we both knew I wasn’t talking about my moment with Jasper. 

“I know, pet, I know.”

//

I made coffee faster than any living being in the world before hightailing it downstairs, to the funeral home’s parlour, where the meeting was happening. Or rather, five adults were having a nuclear meltdown.

“He will not be allowed anywhere near her!” Freddie’s face was bright red as he paced the room. “I want it added to the laws! He’s a damn monster, and I will not lose another…”

“We know, Freddie,” Sue sighed, arms crossed over her chest. “And we agree with you that the Cullens should be informed that Alice is off-limits.”

“But can we do that?” Charlie Swan looked exhausted. “Can he do that? Billy - one of the imprints; could one of the wolves physically stay away from their imprint? Does it work the same way for vampires?”

The Clearwaters and Billy Black exchanged looks. 

“I don’t know about vampires, but no, the wolf could not stay away from their imprint. We’ve seen it attempted before,” Billy said finally. “And most attempts do not last long. We don’t know what a long-term attempt would look like for the wolf or the imprint.”

“Sickness?” Charlie asked. “Feral behaviour? Violence? Madness? Death?”

They all exchanged glances and I decided it was time to make my presence known.

“You’re not going to hurt Jasper?” I asked in my most innocent voice, my eyes wide, and my lip trembling. It wouldn’t work on the Clearwaters, or Freddie - he was too upset - but I knew Charlie Swan wouldn’t be able to deal with a crying teenage girl.

Harry took the coffee tray from me as they all exchanged loaded looks. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, sniffling. 

“Calm down, Alice,” Billy said in an even voice. “We’re just discussing our options.”

“I don’t like the idea that keeping them separated could result in violence,” Harry said grimly. “We can’t risk it.”

“But you’re willing to risk Alice?” Freddie exploded.

“He’s not ‘risking’ me!” I yelled back. “No one is! Jasper won’t hurt me!” I looked Freddie in the eye. “You know that!”

“None of us know that,” Freddie shot back. “And I refuse to stand by and let history repeat itself with those monsters!”

“Mom was attacked and raped by Red-Eyes!” I shot back. “The treaty said the Cullens can’t drink human blood! All Jasper wants to do is hold my hand and talk to me!”

Billy Black snorted, and I saw Sue and Harry exchange looks. 

“Alice, he was sniffing your hair,” Sue said slowly. “And the look on his face…”

I looked at her bewildered, and quickly ran through the overflow of visions I’d had. There were a couple that got… well. I would have protested doing that with such a large audience, and it was obvious that his brothers and sister wouldn’t have let him get very far. The fact that that was one of his initial reactions to me was… well, I was a little flattered, to be honest.  

“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “No, he changed his mind, like, 30 times in less than a minute. That’s why my visions went haywire - my brain couldn’t process that much information that quickly. I think he was doing something, like he w-“

“He’s gifted?” Sue interrupted me. 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask him. In person.”

Freddie was already shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”

“We negotiate. I’m sure the Cullens will be agreeable,” I said soothingly. “Chaperoned meetings, like in the olden days, for my protection. All above board and very G-rated. Hell, we can even sit here in the parlour. Just talking.”

“It would lower the risk of any sort of violence to get to Alice, it’s on neutral territory, and we have no idea what keeping them apart could do to Alice,” Harry sighed. “An imprint can feel the effect of a strained bond, it can take a toll on their long-term health…”

“It’s not happening!” Freddie threw up his hands. 

“Freddie, you need to listen to us,” Sue said, trying to act as peacekeeper. “I don’t know what a mate bond looks like in vampires or how it’s formed, but what we do know that in the wolves, it will actively hurt Alice to be kept away from him - she will get sick.”

“What if it was Leah? Or Jacob and the blonde vampire?” Freddie snapped back. “Or Isabella or Seth? Would you still be standing here, telling me that this is a-a risk I just have to accept? Even without Lilian…” Freddie put his face in his hands and took a shuddering breath. “Would you?” he glared at Sue.

Sue frowned. “That is a totally different situation, Fred,” she said evenly. “I don’t believe our genetics would allow such a bond to form. But if it were Leah, I would do every single thing I could to protect her from harm - the harm of a vampire and the harm of a broken bond. I would not allow my daughter to suffer in such a way.”

Freddie was shaking his head. “No, no, I don’t believe you. And Alice isn’t your daughter. She’s my niece. She’s staying right here. He can stay on the Cullen property! They’re never seeing each other again.”

“No.”

Everyone swung around to look at me, and I caught a look of myself in the mirror over the console table - I didn’t look like myself at all. My expression was hard and mutinous. My voice was stern and flat. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I can only work through the visions I’ve had. But you cannot stop Jasper Cullen and I from seeing each other,” I said in that same, flat tone. There was a tight feeling in my chest, and all I could think of was that look of naked hope on Jasper Cullen’s face when I protested his brother’s roughness. His voice telling his alpha or father or whatever that I was his. He was also mine. 

Freddie was looking at me in horror, and even Harry was looking a little worried. 

“Alice…” Charlie sounded pained, and Billy had taken to gulping at coffee that he looked like he wanted to throw on me. 

“Better a chaperoned meeting than him climbing in her bedroom window, or running away with her,” Harry muttered and Freddie choked. 

“I promise that I will obey whatever guidelines I am given,” I said carefully. “I won’t hide any relevant information from the Council, or put anyone in unnecessary danger. I don’t know what this is, but I do know that meeting Jasper Cullen was inevitable. I’ve Seen him before.”

I think Sue chose that moment to remember my vision about the gurney, as she turned grey, then red, and then looked like she needed something stronger than coffee. 

“Do you know what happens if you don’t see him again?” Charlie asked.

“No, I don’t. And I don’t want to,” I said frankly. 

Freddie sat on the couch, looking exhausted.

“Someone’s going to need to make decisions for Alice in the Council,” Sue said finally. “Freddie, you’re our Mediator. You can’t be objective if you’ve got Alice to worry about. None of us can do it. And none of the Cullens can do it. We’re all compromised.”

“Ask Dulcie,” I said and everyone looked at me. “She’s been here for years, I think she deserves to be read-in. She can be my guardian ad litem in the Council, and she’d finally understand some of the weirder stuff that goes on around here. Like the limb-bucket.”

Charlie winced at the reminder of that particular incident. 

Freddie sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Dulcie’s not a bad choice,” he admitted. 

“Plus, now you’ll have to marry her,” I said cheerfully. “Now, I’m going to bed, so you can finish talking about me without me.” And with that, I headed back upstairs for a hot shower and some sleep. 

[code-es]

Codeblr tag game - realization

@a-fox-studies thank you for tagging me in this!!

At what point in your life did you decide that the world of computers was the one for you?

Heh this is a long one... So read if u want to know some code-es lore :p

But tldr: My dad was a software/computer engineer and his dedication and working spirit is my biggest inspiration, but programming was never a passion of mine - languages were my big thing. This was until I took a programming course and realized that programming is just like learning languages, but with rules that actually apply.

I want to tag: @xiacodes @web-dev-with-bea @compooter-blob @alica-tech @lazar-codes @zoeythebee @cloudycodes @04kid

Programming was always around me when i was younger. My father was a software systems engineer, so when i was a kid i would see him work on matrix looking code, and sometimes he'd even let me press buttons!

But i wasn't really interested in learning anything about computers... I was instead interested in art and especially languages, which was my biggest interest and passion. Then my dad passed away, and following that I'd get more and more interested in programming during my teens, partly to honor him and my family, because on my dad's side almost everyone's a software engineer. I also had an email friend I met on omegle when i was 14-15, and he was 30 something, which... now that i think of it, it was probably pretty a little weird that he wanted to be my friend... but anyways, he was a software engineer and explained what coding/programming was and following that I made my first webpage using only HTML and CSS, in my notepad hahaha!!

But... I didn't do much after that, until I was in my second last year of high school. I signed up to take a programming course for my next and final year. I've always been curious, and wanted all the knowledge I could get, so when a programming course was offered I had to take it! But it was just another small drop in my big lake of interests.

I don't think I realized that computers and programming was what I wanted to do until I visited my family in Mexico 2 years ago, weeks before starting that programming course. For some reason I always saw programming and computers as something out of my reach - i couldn't possibly learn this. However, to prove me wrong, my cousin, who studied software development at the time, showed me his projects, and what he was doing. And, I realized that omg - I could also be doing this? It's within reach!

And then I started learning python in school and I was kind of discouraged, it was so difficult! Most people had previous experience, and seeing what they could already do I felt overwhelmed, thinking I should also be doing that. But I kept coming back to the thought that this is just like learning a language: if I just expose myself to more and more content it will start making sense, and sooner or later I'll be able to form my own sentences and the computer will listen to me.

I've always loved the logic of languages, how the syntax is built, and how verbs are conjugated in accordance to gender, numerus and time in different languages. But... there are always exepctions and irregularities you just have to learn. However, programming is all logic, everything has an explanation, even the seemingly inexplicable concepts. There is always a solution, and my creativity is the limit, and that is what keeps me going.

And then! I was looking at university educations to apply for, when on a whim I found out about my current school, checked what courses they offer and saw something about frontend development. I read the description, and realized that oh my god - this is my type of programming! I get to do design and art AND code? And since studying here, I have realized that, yeah, this is exactly my field, and I love computers and I just want to learn more and more and more, always, and there are so many rabbit holes to fall into within programming.

During my time in school, I would envision myself working with something static in the future; like just going to uni, learning a job, and then doing it. Then, I remember being on studyblr, and seeing the quote "now is the only time in your life when your full time job is to learn" and I took it to heart, and that is what kept me motivated - I thought, what a privilege to just learn for a living. And that is exactly what working with software will be (:

My biggest weakness is finishing writing shit lol, my feedback in on essays was always: ok great, but dont have 3 different points where we think its gonna end but we're met with yet another finishing paragraph. So I'll just end it quickly here, thank you for reading!

[rappaccini]

something more notes.

only one masterpost this time, because this thing isn't nearly as dense as arachnophobia.

first of all, this is a companion fic to arachnophobia.

everything that happens here is canon to that story, and everything that happens there is canon to this. each chapter roughly syncs up between fics as well (arachnophobia 1 takes place at the same time as something more 1, etc).

the canon divergence can largely be summed up as 'gwen isn't into miles; she gets her own arc that centers her and not her relationship with him' and 'miles's arc is extended over a year to give him time to befriend more characters and dwell on certain plot beats.' if you want the month-by-month breakdown of where his atsv elements are rearranged, it's here, under the 'miles tangent' section.

chapter 1

margo goes to the peter parker institute of science and technology in the comics. (it's not clear if it's a high school or university)

spider-byte is her alter ego, who fights crime and helps people in virtual reality.

"her parents world" -- in atsv, margo always refers to her dimension as her 'parents' dimension' -- i try to do that here.

in margo's comics, she's introduced hunting down an identity thief. her vigilantism is more small-scale and mundane, being online.

so, things like password recovery, hacking, identity recovery, getting rid of bot farms. not really combat based.

the cyber crimes investigation is a police force in margo's comics. we so incognito is on a poster on movie margo's wall; it's either an organization or a piece of pop culture.

atsv-margo lost a captain of her own. she's one of the figures in that canon event montage. no clue who it is though so i simply made the rest up. (makes you wonder: how exactly does someone die in a virtual world?)

margo's rootkit will come back.

margo's tiger: tiny, tiny ref to mj's 'face it, tiger' line.

i spent a lot of time thinking about how a world where people spend all their time online works. people work and go to school at home, they receive all their purchases by delivery, and odds are, family dinners aren't really a thing, at least for the kesses.

major motif for this fic: margo feeling unentitled to her own feelings, both as a side character in a story she isn't allowed to have a major role in, and as a girl who's always interacting with people through a screen.

i'm not sure when earth-22191 is meant to be. presumably in the future, further ahead than miguel. my guess was 22nd or 23rd century.

margo sees miguel as a father figure.

miguel recruited margo for her coding skills in atsv. there's more to it than that in this fic.

being invited: miguel finally gets margo what she wanted from the organizations in her own world. she is seen, valued, and included.

ultimately, margo joins the ss because she wants to find people who care about her. all it would have taken to stop her was her parents being concerned.

"won the jackpot" ... tiny tiny ref to "face it tiger, line" x2.

according to atsv, margo's already in the ss by the time gwen joins.

web-slinger and spiders-man were featured with margo in vault of spiders, the comic where she debuts.

margosoft is in atsv-- it's on a few of the ss screens. presumably the software the watches, portal tech and go home machine operate on was designed by her.

'blow up the building'-- tiny detail on one of margo's screens. she's not just operating the go home machine; she's sending orders to members in the field.

margo wears glasses in this fic. she's blasting blue light into her eyeballs at point blank range 16 hours a day. that eyesight's fucked.

miguel stops paying attention to margo after he's gotten his os out of her, and once he knows he can trust her to follow orders. it actually has nothing to do with gwen's arrival, but margo doesn't know that.

there's no info on gwen-22191. made it up for this fic. presumably she dies young, as usual. and she's peter's science whiz girlfriend, as usual.

peter-22191 has no details about his life, apart from him being dead by the time margo's going to the school named after him. being an arachnologist was just a spider reference.

mary jane watson-22191 is a dead end instead of dead because she's not dead; she's margo.

i figured margo would probably be very protective of her little workspace so she does not like other people touching it.

margo's first impulse being to reach out to and befriend gwen is going to come back later.

gwen looking up her dead selves is expanded on in arachnophobia; this is just margo's side of that event. margo avoids gwen because 1) it understandably freaks her out.

2) she has very low self esteem and has picked up on how the society has put gwen on a pedestal; she assumes (wrongly) that gwen wouldn't want anything to do with her.

3) she's jealous. i think the margo-gwen jealousy onion is fascinating, and everyone does it a disservice by reducing it to ~two girls fighting over a boy~ or overcorrects by insisting they be ~two girls being bffs because they're two girls~.

no. let's peel this thing: margo and gwen both want what the other has, and that tension would've existed even without a boy in the picture. we'll go more into gwen's side later, but for now--

a) margo wants functional parental figures, and she views being discarded by miguel and ignored by jess, right as they give gwen special attention, as them choosing gwen over her.

b) margo joined the society to feel included, and everyone ignores her and lines up around the block to see gwen.

c) margo's uniqueness in the society is ignored. gwen's is celebrated. no one cares that there's only one spider-byte. everyone is invested in the one spider-gwen.

d) margo comes to hq to get away from a shitty home life and a dimension she feels like she doesn't belong in, but she hasn't actually physically left earth-22191. the society let gwen stay at hq full-time. margo would kill for that.

e) margo believes society propaganda about suffering being what makes you a better hero. there's no way she wouldn't look at gwen abandoning her world and her responsibilities as a moral failing, and being bitter that gwen is being 'rewarded' for it with special treatment.

f) margo wants to be loved by spider-man. gwen is the famous dead girlfriend on a pedestal. the same attention that gets gwen killed and makes her miserable would make margo happy, and she's bothered by how gwen takes it for granted.

margo is a teenage girl with low self esteem. she isn't considering that the attention and special treatment gwen's getting isn't a good thing, or that everyone would have ignored margo anyway. that's still to come.

on margo being a nobody: she's not, but she doesn't know it yet.

we end where we started: on margo, alone, feeling like her emotions about the way she's being treated and her desire to connect with people isn't valid.

chapter 2

i'm guessing the society started a little after itsv, so by the time gwen joins, it's been just under a year since it was founded, and by the time miles arrives, it's been a year and a few months.

one of margo's skills is creating digital doppelgangers of herself to outsource her work and be more efficient.

margo's fully tuned out. she has the work figured out and she knows no one's paying attention to her, so she's numbing herself to the situation by distracting herself.

she's watching streamers and reactors as ways to pantomime human interaction.

great, okay, fine comes from arachnophobia chapter 2. a motif that worked here too.

like in chapter 1, margo joined the society to lash out at her parents and test if they'd care. they still don't.

the web. play on world wide web and web of life and destiny.

thought i'd expand on how the spider-society has a hierarchy. yes, elite spider-people are members, but there's another rung up that ladder, and that's miguel and his inner circle-- the best of the best, who actually make the decisions. if the ss is obsessed with preserving canon, it follows that the people whose lives check off the most canon boxes are higher up on the totem pole.

so margo's at the bottom.

margo isn't the only one of her kind at the society. you'll know who they are by the end of this chapter.

like gwen, margo's an outlier in the society. unlike gwen, nobody cares about finding a place to make her fit. they've already dismissed her as only good for grunt work.

"pushing buttons and making vague gestures of support" -- what i'm worried the sv movies will make of margo. also, what the fandom thinks of margo.

margo's an avatar, yet she can interact physically with objects in hq. using miguel's holosuit as a reason why-- her avatar's made of the same stuff.

spinneret and the spider-women from 2301, 8545, 42124 and 12041 are all mj variants. they can tell she's one of them, even if they don't know what it means yet.

jessica's motives get a big exploration in arachnophobia 4, but the gist is: she decided to put herself over solidarity with her fellow jessica variants so she could get a high rank in the society. she's the only jessica and the only spider-woman, who matters. ignoring margo is an intentional choice on her part.

miguel dismissed margo once he was through using her. at least he's consistent. and hey, if he doesn't pay attention to you, he can't hurl verbal abuse at you.

look you can't tell me there wasn't at least one time where peter b accidentally handed margo the baby on autopilot, and margo accidentally accepted, and both forgot for a split second that margo can't actually hold mayday so they ended up technically dropping her.

taking that tiny moment of margo being annoyed at miles walking into her and pumping it full of air? hell yeah i am.

first moment of true canon divergence reached: miles joins the spider-society formally instead of inviting himself there.

the moment of ~mysterious connection~ between miles and margo set my brain on fire. this fic exists largely because i just wanna tinfoil about what the hell that is.

margo's constantly on the society computers, overseeing the anomalies. she has to know miles is one. which means she's also complicit in the big lie about him.

margo has no peripheral vision in a vr headset.

miles is the first person who can actually capture margo's full attention because of that connection. she wants to be fully engaged by and vulnerable with him.

spider-byte is a pun on spider bite. great name!

miles likes smart girls: thinking gwen was a fellow gifted kid helped him develop his crush on her. it'll draw him to margo too.

overall in this fic i'm trying to balance margo's actual behavior at home with how she presents her avatar. since she spends all her time alone online, this girl's gonna be awkward.

margo has no spider-powers. the avatar has all her abilities.

you can't tell me miles's lightning palms wouldn't absolutely fuck margo's gear up. or that she wouldn't be pissed about it.

when margo's moving so fast she spits out other versions of herself, that's called an echo trail.

i simply think it's relevant that miles has the power to turn invisible, and margo's invisible whether she likes it or not.

margo's trying to warn miles that miguel and the society aren't great company.

remember, miles wanted to join the ss and thought the place was awesome at first. i'm just taking that beat and expanding it since his arc's getting stretched from a few days to a few months. therefore, he's gonna drink the society kool aid.

... it must take gwen and hobie fucking forever to put those shoes on, though.

it's a running joke in this fic that people keep fucking with margo's hq workstation.

there's concept art floating around of miles watching titanic and crying. referenced that here because i think it's funny.

one of the most important things about miles as a character is that he's all about inclusion. thematically, and in terms of personality: if he sees somebody being left out, he wants to bring them in and make them feel like they belong.

it's also a compelling flaw: he wants to be included. miles doesn't just want to be a good spider-man. he wants to be the best. that meant wanting to join the society. that'll mean, if he did get to join, wanting to be one of its leaders.

background note: in this fic, the ss does have mileses in it. they're just minor members who have little sway and are typically looked down upon.

had to bring up the 'is miles spider-man' debate. the ss is an allegory for society as much as it is for the spider-man canonmakers and fandom. they'd get into discourse about it.

in arachnophobia, miguel lets miles in because gwen kept asking him to. more on that there.

the source of gwen's jealousy's going to get a focus later.

at least in arachnophobia, gwen's comphetting her way through her miles crush.

"no one notices because there aren't many girls in the society" -- sorry! getting salty! you can tell gwen's written by dudes in these movies.

this fic is a metatext on how margo's treated by canon and fandom. she knows she's the disposable second girl in the love triangle who'll be expected by the fans (... and possibly written by the writers) to inexplicably be the supportive bestie who wingmans her crush into getting with another girl.

gwen and hobie. margo knows about them. more to come on that.

detailed earth-8 hate can be found here under "earth-8 notes"

margo having a courtside seat to this drama means she can be objective about it: the earth-8 speed date is creepy, cringy and gross. and gwiles as a couple are not the fairy tale ending everyone wants them to be.

salt! of course a bunch of white nerdy guys think the best canon subversion for spider-gwen is swapping out what guy she belongs to.

salt! it's not a coincidence that the white nerdy guys writing these movies (and the comic the gwiles romance is based on) gave miles a white girlfriend, or made their kids (their daughter specifically; their son's just blue-eyed miles) racially ambiguous. when writers create bad romances, its often because they force the character they identify with to pair off with the one they're most attracted to.

settler and sellout: what gwen and miles-8 are.

the unbreakup is much more detailed in arachnophobia ch 2.

the society were listening.

a hill i intend to die on: margo is an mj variant.

chapter 3

characters in alternate comics worlds tend to appear in cohorts. peter, gwen and mj are usually always a set, as are miles and ganke.

but there are exceptions: on earth-65a, flash thompson is gwen's high school gym teacher instead of her classmate, for instance.

and on earth-22191, margo is 200-ish years behind all her friends.

margo-is-an-mj is just a headcanon (for now 🤞), so knowing her peter parker is definitely dead led to a bit of extrapolation: if margo's totally alone in her world, then the rest of the empire state gang are probably gone too.

being left to one's devices. wordplay is fun.

in an all-online world i figure memorials are probably interactive. like facebook pages full of messages, videos and photos.

fic-gwen-22191 died in the 80s (her birthyear is the year of her first appearance, 1965. add 19 years to get to her death age), so she would be gone before that would have been possible. therefore, she doesn't get one. (+another gwen who's totally in the shadow of her boyfriend.)

in a world where everyone interacts via avatars, i figure facetune/image manipulation is the norm. nobody shows you their actual, unmanipulated face until you're very close friends.

so margo had a lot of culture shock at the society. being around masked people would've felt more normal than seeing all those faces.

and therefore, seeing the gang in photos pre-image manipulation, around the 1980s, would have a strong effect on margo. in a way, she is getting to see her friends' faces.

people typically aren't gorgeous in their natural states. they look better that way, when they're real.

ai: i figure margo's world is so deeply entrenched in tech that it's taken over entertainment. there aren't any career actors or musicians anymore; you just prompt an ai to give you what you want.

therefore, an 80s sitcom starring margo and her dead friends. it's very macabre.

the silver spoon is where the 616 empire state gang hung out during the college years in the late 60s.

i figure margo's probably programmed herself a few artificial boyfriends and friends over the years. if she's that talented at coding and she's that lonely, she would.

margo isn't thrilled about going to college because in her world, it just means staying at home even longer.

mj and harry both have dysfunctional families.

if mj and peter parker are such a universal pairing, margo would wonder if she and her peter would've fallen in love.

... and if she and her gwen would've fought over him. it's wild that the mj-peter-gwen love triangle was two best friends who are technically dating the same guy and competing for him. it is WILD that peter and mj get together because she swoops in on her best friend's boyfriend right after she dies.

"painting our nails and sharing secrets" will come back.

margo's the hero of her world. she wouldn't assume peter's the spider; she'd assume she still would be.

margo trying to make a connection in her world and failing was important to include.

in a world where everyone's online, the city's probably very quiet.

the fact about stars is true.

miles morales is an anime fan. there's no way he wouldn't try to get peni to watch it with him.

and there's no way peni wouldn't have opinions about it.

real friends aren't people you can turn off or reprogram when they annoy you. getting to know them takes effort, which is why the connections matter. margo's starting to learn that.

margo probably gets no sleep. that girl's chugging monster like it's water and making energy drink jungle juice in her spare time.

margo would probably be a gamer. thought it'd be fun if she and peni swapped recs. (the one they're talking about is hatoful boyfriend. the doctor route is indeed batshit crazy.)

i think peni and margo would be great friends. i wanted to give them that here.

chapter 3 ii

also: miles hanging out with peni and margo is a ripple effect from arachnophobia-- i hate that the writers made ambiguously queer girls' girl gwen into someone who only interacts positively with men and has only male friends. the bare minimum would've been giving miles a female friend group to balance it out. so for these fics, that's what i did.

post-unbreakup miles is not taking it well. there's one more big event between it and this scene between margo, peni and miles that'll be mentioned later.

as a reminder, this is a canon divergent au where gwen and miles do not get together, and gwen gets an arc on par with miles's. that's in arachnophobia.

and since this is a companion to arachnophobia, a lot of character and plot beats rhyme-- like miles and gwen both interacting with their earth-8 selves. in miles's case, he admires him and wants to emulate him.

because he views gwen's rejection of him as a sign that she thinks he's an incompetent hero who can't save her, he's trying to overcompensate by showing everyone how great a spider-man he is. it's wearing him down.

ss as an allegory for the writers and the fandom: miles getting gwen as his girlfriend makes him more impressive to them because she's the shiniest, most conventionally-attractive, most unattainable love interest. if he can't land her, they'll look down on him.

(which is why earth-8 miles is both gross and fascinating: literally, when the writers created their ideal miles, they made him joined at the hip with his gwen. creepy implications.)

kid arachnid, spy d and spin are all alternate names miles has had in continuities where he and peter are heroes together.

the spider-society only legitimizes miles-8, the palatable one who sold out his authenticity for greater appeal and uses gwen as a symbol of that.

there's no way margo doesn't have a folder of security footage highlights featuring the cringiest spider-person moments.

jess in the comics eats butter to cope with pregnancy cravings

hobie's facial hair: ref to earlier concept art of him. it did not look good.

hobie's doing disruption in plain sight: intentionally covering up security cameras while pretending it's just vandalism.

re: miles and hobie. people forget that miles spends all of atsv hating on the guy (he only changes his mind when hobie helps him escape). extending that out = miles wasn't exactly friendly with him for that month before the earth-8 blowup. and there's no way a 15yo boy is gonna be nice to the guy he thinks his crush rejected him for. there's a bit more that happened there, but that'll be discussed later.

"betrayal" -- salt about the fandom's take that gwen and hobie having a relationship would somehow make them traitors to miles. what betrayal? she was never miles's girlfriend (if anything she friendzoned him) and hobie never met the guy. they don't owe him shit!

re: miles's feelings. one of the biggest issues with atsv is it wants so badly to critique the spiderman canon without acknowledging that it is a part of that canon and not the exception to it. miles is spider-man, a superhero who takes after that old western storytelling tradition of 'super special male protagonist whose actions and desires are more important than everyone else's.' if he really wants to be different, we have to unpack that idea too.

so, miles, like miguel/peter b/jess/the elite ss members, thinks that his feelings are inherently more important than everyone else's-- important enough to somehow convince gwen, who hasn't seen or spoken to him in 1.5 years, to put her entire life on hold and never move on with anyone else.

he's also a 15yo boy. he woulda thought that regardless.

people keep calling this ship 'star-crossed.' it can't be star-crossed if fate itself is trying to get them together, which it is because the writers are.

margo's in high school. shakespeare's gonna be one of the things she studies. even if she has to translate it first.

'star-crossed' comes from romeo and juliet. you know the one.

and the taming of the shrew's another of shakespeare's plays. ostensibly a romance, about a powerful man who psychologically breaks down an independent woman's sense of willpower until she agrees to marry him and be the most perfect obedient wife, where the only consolation to the reader is, hey, at least she has a respectable position within patriarchy now. that's exactly what the spider-society's doing to gwen, what miles-8 did to gwen-8, and what miles is being encouraged to participate in and would have to do to be with her. more on that in arachnophobia.

another plus of miles hanging out with girls: they can help him understand how bullshit the gwen stacy hero complex is (no girl would want to fall off a bridge so her bf can look cool saving her) and how creepy being tied across dimensions is.

gwen-65 canonically hates babies and has no maternal instinct. motherhood is something she isn't interested in and would never choose. makes the 'perfect future' where she has a nuclear family with miles all the more questionable. it's not HER perfect future, it's his.

it also makes comics-gwen's reaction to it (confusion, then immediate revulsion) make sense. the best possible future for her and miles is one that would make her miserable so of course she runs for the hills.

comics-miles, though, gets most of what he wanted out of it, so naturally, he keeps a torch lit for a while.

examining that here: fic-miles can kind of tell that something about earth-8 is off, but since that future still looks on the surface like everything he thinks he wants (respect and renown from his public and his peers, a team of heroes to work with, kids someday, and a romantic partner who is a fellow superhero), he's clinging to it.

margo regresses to tabsurfing to pull her attention away from this conversation because it's too emotionally draining.

and miles notices because it's unusual for her to do that with him.

i'm sorry! i hate gwiles! gotta point out all the problems with it! shit like, they genuinely don't know anything about each other except vague superficial things they both share.

gwen doesn't go to visions in the comics, she goes to midtown. the fic marries those two by saying 'gwen's temporarily going to visions because midtown was destroyed when she fought peter'

fandom salt: the fans loooove ballerina gwen, even though gwen never once mentions being a ballerina, ditches the pointe shoes and only discusses her love of music. and there are more drawings of gwen dancing than drumming in his sketchbook, so i guess miles prefers that side of her too. he's telling on himself.

salt: kinda hate that the movies totally neglected gwen's female friend group and made her a guys' girl.

salt: the 'self-love' coi leray song played over gwen's intro is gorgeous. it also doesn't sound like anything gwen would listen to and is massively out of place in earth-65, the rock music dimension. it sounds like something miles would listen to while thinking of gwen. very... apt. given that the movie totally rewrites gwen to make her more compatible with him.

fandom salt: no way would that queer punk girl listen to taylor swift you idiots.

gwen's middle name is actually a secret thing. sv gwen is transcoded, and fic-sv gwen is explicitly trans. her deadname was femmed up and turned into her middle name. miles is technically right: she does not want people using it.

one of the reasons i want mj variant margo so bad is the thematic relevance it would have. one would think that the logical next step in a trilogy of movies all about the importance of a black spider-man would be including a black mj.

miles and miguel are alike in a lot of ways. including how they both think they're better than their own canons and want to be the exception to it (in order to obtain or keep a gwen/gabi).

miles is mostly offscreen in arachnophobia, so his arc is mostly implied. since margo spends most of her time with him, this was a chance to touch on it: he needs to understand that he isn't the exception.

22191 worldbuilding: one would think in an all-online world that social interactions can be archived. ergo, margo can watch her parents chatlogs and social media posts like they're home movies.

and in an all-online world, you meet and date online too. meeting up in person is probably like moving in together, if not synonymous.

and as is often the case... sometimes, the person you think you're meant to be with turns out to be someone else when you spend more time with them and your mental picture of them has to reconcile with the real thing.

and sometimes it's too painful to admit that, so people don't, and they keep clinging to their idea of the person even as it gets further from the truth.

miles and gwen are this in a nutshell. the most positive i can be about sv gwiles is that they seem like they would've made great high school sweethearts post-itsv. if they'd stayed in contact, they would've paired up, stayed together for most of high school (... to me, that 17 month timeskip feels like the amount of time they'd have lasted), and eventually drifted back into friendship.

but they didn't. they spent a year and a half with zero contact, romanticizing the idea of each other. now that idea is stronger than the connection they made originally because they don't know each other at all. if they get together now, they'll just be chasing romances they made up in their heads, and the longer they stick together the more unfulfilling, stagnating and ultimately toxic that dynamic will become.

add that to miles's spider-man complex: he thinks of himself as a good person, and is mistaking that for being good for gwen. those things are different.

margo gets this. she is a product of that kind of relationship.

margo making ai boyfriends is a parallel to miles sketching gwen: it's art, but it's also not the real thing.

margo's ai sitcom of her dead friends is what solidified that for her.

miles has further to go before he gets it. his feelings for gwen are so wrapped up in a need for belonging and validation that he has to satisfy that first before he moves on.

we arrive at the part where margo's supposed to give that motivational speech that gets gwiles together.

this is a meta text, and margo's role in the story, at least as of atsv, is 'disposable second corner of the love triangle.' the expected outcome for her character is that she'll do something selfless to make gwiles get together, step out of the way for them and/or conveniently no longer be competition.

saying the quiet part out loud: the one time mj's black, spider-man skips her for gwen? okay. it's like that.

if the sv movies really want to break canon, then they should do the opposite. let the hero and his designated girlfriend decide to stay friends, and make margo the endgame love interest instead.

taking shots at the fandom for reinforcing the idea that margo's a supportive bestie, ~sister-coded~ (gotta go for a pun there), a matchmaker, the butt of some joke about miles wasting his time before he pairs off with the fandom-preferred girl, or the disposable black love interest. (... and possibly firing off a warning shot at btsv if that's what they do with her)

discovering she's an mj made margo realize she isn't a nobody and gave her the confidence to demand better treatment. she might not be miles's mj, but she still is one, and she's going to claim all the things mj is entitled to.

so she uses some of that mj fire and stands up for herself. no, she's not going to help him make nice with gwen, and she's making it clear that she's a contender for his feelings.

miles can clearly tell that margo likes him. so if in btsv he treats her like that disposable friend, keeps flirting with her, and gets with gwen anyway? dick move.

dick move here too. he isn't maliciously playing with her feelings, but he is hanging out with a girl he knows is into him (and doesn't think will stand up to him about it) to make himself feel good.

"don't be mean" = subconscious little women ref.

because it IS mean. the mj-spider-man-gwen love triangle is, when not written well, such a shitty treatment of these girls. the sv movies are making it even worse.

margo's given miles a lot to think about. more on that soon.

"knowing it's not supposed to count, wanting it to, and doing it anyway" will come back too.

and ending on a note of self-confidence. yes, margo told him how she feels. more importantly, she's realizing she'll be fine without him and won't tolerate bad treatment.

chapter 4

'abyss' is a term that comes up a lot in arachnophobia. thought i'd add it somewhere in this fic

so's 'i'm you and you're me'

margo getting on with her life and focusing on her own situation will pop up again soon.

this chapter concerns why margo's status as an mj is so controversial and why even her own alternate selves can't wrap their minds around it.

for better or worse, margo's more visible now. which means she's visible enough for miguel to get angry at her.

re: jess. one of the biggest things about her canon characterization is her lack of solidarity. she didn't protect gwen, she didn't protect miles. she wouldn't protect margo. at least in these fics, jessica drew-332 cares so much about the mission that she'd throw anyone under the bus for it, and she believes as long as she personally gets a comfy spot at the top of the hierarchy, she doesn't mind what happens to anyone else.

also given timeline creep, jess had her baby by now.

the anomaly that's dimension-jumping will come back.

margo's home is minimalist and full of soft things and dull colors because for people who are constantly stimulated by the internet, they'd probably want somewhere calming to escape to. gotta extrapolate those white bedroom walls somehow.

touch as a motif pops up again here.

peter having photos of gwen in his house is first mentioned in arachnophobia.

peter parker gives me overworked ta vibes, and if mj's based on raimi mj, then she would've been a model/actress for a while.

og 616 gwen stacy was a football fan.

peter b recognizing his wife in margo is what made him stick up for, and bend the rules for her.

had to use that hologram effect of the portal watch for something. why not margo making house calls?

... something tells me margo makes ai art. and miles has opinions about it.

margo recording her conversations for later comes back at the end of this chapter.

mj facts: she was originally intended to be a running joke about 'the girl next door peter's aunt keeps trying to hook him up with' before she became The Love Interest, so mj has a history of knowing about peter but being unacknowledged by him until college. i've always really liked this. important people creep up on you.

'she's not the only one'-- another arachnophobia motif

in this chapter, we need to demolish the gwen jealousy. best way to do that is 1) let margo have a big jealous rant to get those feelings out, and

2) have the source refute that idea and tell her that the situation's more complicated: gwen isn't some superior girl waving her boyfriend in mj's face; they were best friends who respected each other even when they liked the same guy, and while gwen and peter were together, mj got on with her life. the ~catty jealousy~ was a misunderstanding of the situation, usually by the men reading and writing those comics who like watching two hot girls fight over their self-insert.

since the society's based on those guys, it follows that margo would learn about the love triangle in that context, and her insecurities would be inflamed by it.

(i'm not thrilled about mj chastising margo. but if a girl starts talking shit about your murdered best friend, you're gonna shut her up. especially if she's a tenth grader.)

'love's not a competition' comes back in 5.

'in name only' -- margo isn't. the more you examine her character and where she appears in the sv narrative, the more in common with mj you find.

it's important to note that the mjs aren't rejecting margo out of malice, like miguel is. they're just so set in their perceptions of themselves that it's hard to imagine something different-- much like how margo was in denial about being an mj at all.

(sidebar: or like how it took gwen months to realize gayatri's a gwen variant)

in these fics, meeting your alt-self tends to be a good experience. that's you, after all. of course they're going to instantly empathize and care about each other. but there are going to be bumps in the road.

also. fandom salt! at the people who won't let a certain black spider-man character be called by that title, and keep insisting, sometimes with good but misguided intentions, sometimes knowing damn well what they're saying, that they should ~be their own person.~ you know who i'm talking about.

miles babysitting mayday comes up in arachnophobia. fun to see it here.

bringing back margo's eavesdropping habit.

if miles is at the society, he's gonna ask at some point why his universe is 1610b. which means he's gotta learn about a.

new holes in the multiverse: coming back later.

btsv is absolutely going to do a metacommentary on how shitty it was to destroy 1610a to force miles into 616a. thought i'd incorporate that here: miles is starting to catch on that nobody wants him to have his own world, and now that he knows that the last miles-1610 lost his, he's getting paranoid.

and peter b, while well-intentioned in wanting to look after him and promising him a place in 616, doesn't get it.

atsv salt: makes no sense to me that peter b would be so hands-off when he had such a great bond with miles in itsv. part of the reason for having him join the ss was so they could reestablish that mentorship.

including miles dropping into peter's dimension when he needs space, like he does here.

peter and mj are 100% talking about miles and margo. and putting it together that they aren't giving them the best advice.

the captain event: in this fic, miles's father is promoted a few months later than normal, and his death event is even further ahead (and not calculated yet). this was so he wouldn't flip his shit and ditch the ss before he could explore it.

the earlier mention of margo breaking her own distancing rule to help miles figure out when he'd die referred to this. she's been there too, she's a kind person, and she cares about him. she would.

now, after months of drinking society kool-aid, running himself ragged trying to prove himself, slowly realizing he'll never belong, and now learning that one of the deaths he's most afraid of is on the horizon (but not imminent), miles is cracking up. hence, wearing his spider-suit all the time, fighting with his dad to get him to quit. ignoring that he's grounded to keep spider-manning.

another divergence: pav's captain event is pushed back too. you'll see why.

... look if miles finds out an alt-him has a baby sister, he'll definitely put his foot in his mouth trying to figure out if he's gonna get one too. especially if he's running on ten minutes of sleep, thirty redbulls and a looming sense of existential dread.

mj and peter b put together what they were doing wrong. "i feel it" is both an apology and an acknowledgment of what margo's looking for.

margo not being physically present in any of her interactions with miles, and the disconnect that causes, comes back at the end of this chapter. the lack of reaction to the humidity is just setting that up.

fun fact: back to the future was originally meant to star eric stultz. michael j fox replaced him.

the 1610 to 616 salt was also a way to help margo put together that she wouldn't mind sharing a world with someone.

however, she still believes the ss doctrine about being miserable making you a better hero.

margo doesn't look at the love triangle as a competition anymore, so she's able to talk about gwen without getting mad.

'doing both' -- motif from atsv. and what all the society mjs are in fact doing-- being love interests AND heroes.

an aside, to list all the things margo kess has in common with mj watson.

both are spunky young women from dysfunctional families who badly want affection and a functional, loving home.

both are introduced in the narrative after spider-man has already formed a romantic attachment with gwen stacy, and though they have instant chemistry with spider-man, he prioritizes gwen over her.

both are pitted against gwen stacy over spider-man's affection. sigh.

both already know spider-man's secret identity (... in margo's case, that miles is an anomaly) when they meet him. and both quietly keep this secret.

both have a love of fashion and visual aesthetics-- mj's a model; margo's constantly changing her avatar's hair and makeup.

both keep spider-man's secrets and intimately understand his struggles in a way nobody else does.

both have the capacity to become superheroes in their own right.

both aren't at a risk of being fridged.

both are up front about their crushes on spider-man. sure they start out as friends but it's clear they're into each other.

(beyond here's all relevant to the fic only.)

both take a while to be noticed by spider-man. in mj's case she was an invisible neighbor for years. in margo's, she's a friend who isn't taken seriously as a romantic option for months.

both get on with their lives while they wait. mj sees other people, margo hangs out with peni and tries reaching out to the mjs.

gwen ultimately brings them together. for mj, it's her death. for margo... it'll be something else.

it's a rocky road to getting together, but at the end of the day, spider-man always comes back to them, and they end up together.

thank you. back to 4:

anyway. it's insane to me how textbook an mj variant margo is.

which makes you wonder: why doesn't anyone talk about this? i'm absolutely not the first person to come up with this idea (i got it from a convo with a friend), but it's very rare to see anyone consider it.

rhetorical question. if margo were a white girl with red hair, or even just a white girl, the margo's-an-mj theories would be a lot more popular and so would interest in her character.

the disconnect is that margo's black (and not ambiguous, not light-skinned or biracial. she's a black girl with afrocentric features, a heavier body type, brown skin and natural hair.). this is a meta fic. had to bring that up. the ss is a stand-in for the writers, audience and fandom, so all the hangups they have will be reflected in the society.

if spider-byte's an avatar that can look like anything, then margo made her recognizably black for a reason. it is important to margo that the people of her world know their spider-hero is a black girl.

it's important for the people watching these movies (especially the kids) to know that mj can be a black girl too.

miles and margo are in the same boat. both of them are their canon's incarnation of an iconic character in the spider-man story, but both are disrespected and ignored by both writers and fandom because they're black.

therefore, margo's the person who can help miles piece this together. not gwen. not even hobie.

which is where the meta comes in: yes, it matters that margo has her own world and her own identity as byte... but that world and identity aren't particularly respected. it would be very easy for her to fall into obscurity and vanish, which is often the fate of marginalized characters with original stories; they get an initial push, then fall away and vanish.

spider-man and mj are indisputably vital characters to the spider-man canon. they'll always exist, and always be retold and reinterpreted in new stories. they have gravity and reach. their stories are agreed upon by EVERYONE as important.

and if the story's important, then anyone should be able to take part in it. that is why a black spider-man matters.

mj, in spider-man stories, is typically the pinnacle of love and desirability. she's not just a love interest; she's the love interest. she's the girl the hero ends up with who's so irreplaceable and beloved by the writers and fandom that they keep being drawn to each other whenever the story's retold, and when she takes a minute to show up, she's demanded. when you gatekeep what mj's allowed to look like, you are telling people what kind of person is worthy of love. that's why a black mj matters.

it's also why a romance between a black spider-man and a black mj would be so groundbreaking. (... more groundbreaking than the black spider-man sticking with the white gwen stacy he barely knows and puts on a pedestal.)

sidebar: diverging from sv canon here to change the ss's perception of miles. it was important that he be able to interact with other mileses, so they had to be in the ss, but also to acknowledge that even though miles-1610b was blocked from entry because of 42, they're all dealing with the same shit.

... even miles-8. even the ~perfect future~ for miles is one where he can't keep his own world and has to move to a new one he has to share with his white wife. she's definitely not his equal there, but he still has to have her (aka proximity to a white person) to have the status.

sidebar over. that staticky feeling is miles's hand zapping margo's with a bit of bioelectricity. he's trying to hold her hand, but she doesn't pick up on it.

(... yes, miles and margo sitting vertically on the top of a skyscraper at dawn, and him trying and failing to hold her hand is an inversion of miles and gwen, upside-down on a clocktower at sunset, where he tries and fails to hold her hand. one is a relationship that's topsy-turvy by nature, one's putting miles right side up again. one's at the end of the day/when time's running out, one's starting a new one. one involves miles totally misunderstanding his female love interest and imposing his feelings on her. the other's when he finally listens to her and finds the understanding he needs.)

anyway, because of this conversation with margo, about the importance of claiming these legacy titles in spite of who's gatekeeping them, miles is ready to ditch the society.

he's just got one more hangup: he's worried that on his own, he won't be able to help his father and gwen, people he cares about, from dying.

which margo helps him with as well: the society won't help, so you might as well do it yourself.

which brings us to pav. when miles interferes with his captain canon event in this fic, he's making an intentional, informed decision.

and he's also fully aware that he'll get kicked out for it, so he's trying to let margo know that he has feelings for her without leading her on given that 1) she just chewed him out for doing that, 2) massively misreading shit with gwen fucked up two friendships and he doesn't want to repeat that with margo, and 3) he thinks he's getting kicked out. bad time to start something you can't finish.

"seeing me" -- lifted from the atsv script.

margo watching her old conversations returns. more on what exactly she's doing this for next time, but essentially, with distance, margo now realizes that miles has reciprocated her feelings.

chapter 5

"wrecking ball" -- lifted from arachnophobia.

margo was rewatching that rerun to look for signs that miles was going to fuck up pav's canon. she found them, and now knows he did it on purpose.

the fic-equivalent to miles's conflict at hq is him returning after intentionally ruining pav's captain canon event, getting chewed out publicly by miguel for it, starting a fight with him, and getting suspended.

changes as follows: miles isn't a rogue anomaly who escaped his dimension, turned up in another, and fucked up the story there after a nuclear threat to the multiverse (the spot) escaped; he's a well-known member of the society who broke a big rule-- don't interfere with someone else's story. and the spot wasn't responsible for the captain's almost-death, so there wasn't even an anomaly angle to it. and, jeff's death doesn't have a set timer on it to lock miles up to keep. therefore, there's no hundred-spider chase to the moon. it simply never gets to that point.

also, peter b pulls rank to protect miles because i'm salty about how atsv made him useless when he (not gwen) should've been the one most in miles's corner.

hobie gets involved in the fight to preserve the element of hobie having miles' back in this moment. here, instead of refusing to take part, he intervenes to protect him.

miles is getting a suspension... that miguel will never end.

this fic extends the narrative elements of atsv-- like hobie immediately wanting to befriend miles... and miles disliking hobie out of insecurity and jealousy until hobie sticks up for him at hq. this was that moment.

hobie brown was the original 616 prowler decades before miles (and aaron) came along. he was almost always the prowler, and punk is the only time he's a spider-man. contrast to miles, who's usually a spider-man and rarely the prowler.

all hobie's big disruptive actions are to cover smaller strategic moves.

i figure the same solidarity margo and hobie feel towards miles they'd feel towards each other. hobie's always in the field and margo's always at hq, so they don't interact much, but they won't tell on each other.

hobie's from '78. he's a genius, but he's still gonna take a second to adapt to future tech.

running joke: people fucking up margo's computers.

miles was avoiding hobie. hobie wasn't avoiding miles.

in the comics, jess uses a donor to get pregnant.

arachnophobia goes into this more, but the angle i'm going with for gwiles-8 is that they are not the happy supercouple everyone thinks they are.

in these fics, i'm swapping gwen's feelings for peter, miles and hobie. ergo: she's comphetting her way through her friendships with peter and miles, and she wants a real relationship with hobie. more on that in arachnophobia.

i do find it fascinating that both gwen and hobie are so physically affectionate with all their friends... except each other. probably the animators wanting to make sure miles's designated gf can't get too touchy with the guy he's worried about. but fuck it i'll make it mean something.

also, margo fixating on touch.

meta time: margo is ignored or looked down on by fandom at large because she's a black girl. hobie was perceived as a threat because he's a black boy.

(miles is also treated badly for this reason and a lot of his character's execution is the way it is to make sure the white audience remains comfortable with him. including the gwen ship. his atsv metanarrative's about a black boy struggling to find acceptance from white people, and weighing how much of himself is worth giving up in order to get it. translated here as miles' antics to get the society to tolerate him.)

with hobie, that's a steeper hill to climb (on top of racism, there are the added factors of classism and homophobia), and it's built into his character that he'd never climb it.

it's not surprising that people reacted to the possibility of gwen and hobie being a couple (which is teased in the comics) with confusion that they would be capable of being attracted to each other, shitty jokes about the relationship being superficial, or disgust at the thought of them being together.

all that pearlclutching about hobie being an adult somehow... gee. wonder why people have trouble believing he's a teen.

plus all the 'boys and girls can be friends' statements that only ever get thrown at them and margo/miles and never at gwen and miles, who ended itsv by telling each other they wanted to stay friends. nice sentiment, but if you apply it selectively, all you're doing is trying to police shipping.

fandom treatment of hobie's a seesaw: to some fans he's a hypersexual predatory douchebag who only keeps gwen around for sex, to others he's a wholesome, nonthreatening, asexual ~big brother~ who'd never lay a finger on her.

the second camp sprung up in response to the first, and are so busy patting themselves on the back for not being blatantly racist that they haven't considered that they've done nothing to address the actual problem: the expectation that a relationship between gwen and hobie would be inherently predatory. (if anything, all they're doing is agreeing with that statement, and sidestepping it by saying "but don't worry, it didn't happen...")

... if it did, it wouldn't be a bad thing. it just wouldn't.

miles will be defined by his achievements, so a romantic endgame that isn't the preferred option will be looked down on, but not overshadow him as a person. gwen will be defined by her relationships, and her role in the story (in the society) is dependent on choosing the right boy to be with. if she ends up with the 'wrong guy,' people are gonna be pissed.

(and on a societal level: consider how society reacts when white girls and black boys pair off. especially white girls with overprotective patriarchs who have 'reserved' them for someone else, like gwen, and black boys who look and act like hobie.)

feeding that meta into the spider-society metaphor = if hobie and gwen pair off, there will be consequences. likely violent ones, with the violence being taken out largely on him.

hobie and gwen know this, and are evasive for their safety.

margo and hobie are in the same position: they're the disposable corners of the love triangle who have better chemistry and stronger potential with the main pair than they do with each other. they're here to incite jealousy and then be wingmen.

if the sv movies really want to challenge canon, they should be the ones to win out in the end.

credit to atsv for subverting the idea of hobie as a mean older ~bad boy~ rival for gwen's affection by making hobie supportive and kind to miles (and gwen. he's not a manipulative or shallow bad boy miles needs to ~save~ her from. he's a good guy who DOES have her best interests at heart, probably more than anyone in the entire film, including miles).

... that being said (@ the fandom:) hobie is not a yes man. look at how he treats gwen when she does things he disagrees with: he voices his disapproval, encourages her to stop, and refuses to go along with it... while also not freezing her out.

if he's like that with a girl he's been friends with for months, who's slept over at his place many times, who he has romantic feelings for, he'll probably be tougher on a boy he doesn't know well.

especially when that girl is the topic of conflict, as it goes in this fic.

so: when miles comes to hobie and asks him to respect society hierarchy and end whatever it is he's doing with gwen so miles can have her, and to help get them together, hobie refuses.

there's more to the fight, but that's the basis of the falling out.

chapter 5, ii

people have a kneejerk hatred of love triangles. part response to bad writing, part twilight backlash, part wanting the couple to get together with no competition or conflict.

it's also that people want for the character they project onto to end up with the character they're personally attracted to the most. which is why internalized bias is so important to confront: it's real fucking clear why margo and hobie aren't considered as serious contenders.

margo's peter and hobie's gwen are both dead. technically, they're out of the running.

hobie's dealing with the same shit as margo. both joined the ss looking for community, found out it's full of bullshit, met someone who sees and appreciates them, start to develop a bond with that person... and are told by everyone that what they have isn't legitimate, because it's not the romance the general audience want.

hobie seesaw vent ii: even the less misogynistic corner of the hypersexual hobie brigade see him as a shallow fling for gwen to ~get her bad boy phase out on~ before she departs for a 'respectable' relationship with miles. never mind that spider-gwen doesn't want and doesn't do well in 'respectable' heterosexual relationships.

(which is ironic because in atsv, hobie's the one who actually fulfills the tradition of meeting the dad of the girl he likes and gaining his respect before giving her a ring-shaped piece of jewelry in a little box that makes it possible for them to be together. albeit, in the very hobie way of yelling at that dad for mistreating his daughter, facilitating their reunion and giving her the watch so she can leave him if she doesn't want to stay.)

the other end of the seesaw: hobie's a chaperone to keep gwen in line until it's time for miles to come take custody of her. there's such a strong 'gwen needs to save her body for miles' vibe to the way people talk about her relationships with other guys that i find disgusting.

and nonsensical. why would the spider-punk believe in bro code.

miles-hobie fight dripfeed 2: the falling-out was over gwen, but it was about hobie's disappointment in miles for becoming the kind of guy who'd view a girl he likes as a prize to win. that's why he put his foot down and said he wouldn't budge.

hobie and gwen's dynamic is more central in arachnophobia 5, but the gist is they're doing relationship anarchy. no labels, no commitment, no exclusivity, no making a big deal of it. if being spider-man's girlfriend kills gwen stacy, if she's not his girlfriend, then technically she's safe, right?

in these fics i to walk hobie's development back from the atsv incarnation to give him an arc. he's great in atsv! he just doesn't grow or change at all. not doable here.

he starts these fics as an isolated kid with a martyr complex ready to devote himself to spider-punk and the ideology he represents. through gwen, he realizes how harmful his death wish is, pulls back, starts embracing his humanity again and fine-tunes his mindset into the "love each other" message he has by the time miles shows up (which is what he has in atsv).

hobie's methodical nature probably makes him an overthinker. which leads to being a worrier.

the h/g emotional angst is an onion:

layer 1: it's very punk to take in a homeless queer girl and deprogram her so she'll leave the abusive heteropatriarchy cult that's grooming her. it's not very punk to catch feelings and want her around just because you like her.

layer 2: the meta. he's spider-man and she's gwen stacy, and this relationship tends to end terribly. he's firmly in the camp of fuck canon, but on the off chance that he's got it wrong, the girl he loves could die a terrible death because of him. challenging canon has high stakes.

layer 3: the miles. gwen falls for spider-man, but hobie's not the one people think she's for. he hates the idea that some spider-society-approved guy's entitled to her... but then that guy shows up and it's miles. and miles is great! and hobie wants to be his friend! it's a mess!

margo's never actually considered if the attention she envies gwen for getting was a good thing, or if it was ever wanted. now she understands that it isn't.

mega salt: they're definitely gonna do the death of gwen stacy canon event in btsv. whether she dies, or gets a death fakeout, it's coming. and it'll almost certainly be miles, who barely knows her, who's given the greatest emotional weight in that scene. as opposed to (possibly jess or) hobie, the person who has the deepest bond with her, who will probably have to comfort miles.

mega salt: hobie can have a girlfriend AND take down the government, guys. your personal connections fuel your politics. it's not one or the other.

but hey. it's a cool flaw to give hobie. realizing that is essentially his arc in these fics.

and it circles back to margo. punk and byte are important, but so are hobie and margo. their societies (and the society) only care about punk and byte because they can use them for their labor, which means they have to work especially hard to protect their human sides. they can do both.

and by holding on to these relationships, they can. being in love humanizes them.

that is why flipping the outcome of the love triangle would be so subversive. whoever 'wins' at the end is the person the story deems the most attractive and loveable. margo being preferable to miles over gwen, and hobie being preferable to gwen over miles, makes you reexamine your ideas about what makes the best relationship and who makes the best partner. miles and gwen getting together only reinforces our expectations.

comics-hobie is informed by an extradimensional being that he's doomed to die young. it happens in these fics too.

his arc, mostly offpage in both fics, is about rejecting that idea and accepting shades of gray into his philosophy that'll make it possible to live long without losing hope.

margo needs confidence and hobie needs contradiction. both find and embrace those qualities in spite of the society. both find it because they fall in love with someone they're not supposed to.

what is love? it's not a competition. it's not chasing your crush into another dimension because you can't bear not being near them. it's making a choice over time to build a relationship with them with care, intention and effort. it's accepting that doing so will change you. it's putting what they need above what you want.

.... in across, hobie is the person who does this for gwen, not miles.

the portal watch exemplifies this: he spent months showing up at a place he hates because gwen's there, supporting her, bonding with her, building trust with her, listening to what she needed and getting it for her. and then he gave it to her with no strings attached (and even made nice with her cop dad, who he'd probably hate) and got out of the way so she could use it for whatever she wanted, and trusted her to do what was best for herself even if it meant they wouldn't be together.

miles, in comparison, hung out with her twice and got her some plantains and a can of grape drink once. @/male writers: come on. use your fucking brain.

margo's jealousy towards gwen getting to leave her shitty home life ends, along with the last of her society indoctrination. no, suffering is not sacred.

comics-earth-138 has radionet. whatever that is. margo's too dependent on the internet to want to shelter there.

part of hobie's motive for making the watch was making it possible for them to stay together without the society as a go-between. but mostly, it was about giving her autonomy.

the miles-hobie fight: in the sv movies, miles is the protagonist. hobie's likability is literally written into the story as dependent on how supportive he is of him. if hobie denies miles something he wants-- like gwen-- he will be framed as a bad person.

chapter 5 iii

... if in btsv the anti-authority spider-punk encourages a girl to enter a het relationship that'll only end in her losing her autonomy... that's some bullshit.

so when he's given that choice in these fics, he tells miles as much. that's the start of their fight.

hobie has miles's back. he is not miles's yes man. he would not do that shit.

"when two girls fight about a guy, it's never actually about the guy" -- something margo's realized after visiting mj-616b. it's true of any relationship squabble: it's about the underlying issues in the two people doing the fighting, not the person they're fighting over.

miles and hobie were using the topic of gwen as a way to get mad at each other about their respective insecurities, and how they've failed to help each other get over them.

the rootkit returns: miguel canonically noticed margo for her coding skills. in the fic, he chose her because he realized she was capable of zoning out, following shitty orders and desensitizing herself to their consequences.

hobie needs no persuasion to rebel against the society. margo does, and got it from their conversation. conversely, margo needs no persuasion to embrace her feelings for miles, but hobie's not quite there yet with gwen until margo gives him a push.

hobie making the portal watch is paralleled to margo making miles the admin key. both consciously choose to build something that will give the person they care for what they need, and are changed by the process of building it. both are in love.

margo loves miles, but she's not dependent on him. if letting him go leads to him never returning, she'll move on. she's affirmed in who she is, she's confident, she knows she'll find someone else.

miles got his ass kicked by miguel. not as bad as in atsv, but he's still a little fucked up.

miles is fully past his need to prove himself to gwen.

part of me still wanted to preserve that plot thread of a girl who loves miles needing to come clean to him about the society's deception. couldn't be gwen, because she's on a completely different plot of her own. margo ended up working well-- she's a member of the society, she definitely knew, and she's a secret-keeper.

and margo, as in atsv, is the one to send him to earth-42.

"i'm glad i met you" is as close as these awkward teens can get to "i love you" at this point.

gwen's arc in arachnophobia was constructed in part to mirror miles's in atsv and btsv, and miles's in turn was altered to mirror hers-- but they differ in a few key places. for instance: both need to find validation in themselves and not the society. gwen's arc is about finding her autonomy and going it alone, miles's is about embracing his community. so in this moment where they both are given something by their love interest that offers them a chance to meet their villainized alternate self, gwen goes alone. miles brings some friends.

chapter 6

earth-42's as much an anomaly as miles is.

margo coming in person is a culmination of her arc: she's finally ready to fully commit physically and emotionally instead of keeping herself detached emotionally and behind a screen. all the more impactful because as far as she knows, this world is dangerous.

margo's also never been in another dimension where she can smell, taste and feel. up until now all the sensory details in other worlds she's visited have been restricted to sight and sound. naturally, she's gonna be a little weird about it.

since she's never gone worldhopping before i figure she'd probably come prepared. she's got a big bulky backpack full of stuff, including the tech she needs to access her powers.

miles pissed off his parents a lot this summer.

it's a given that they'll be found out and punished for coming to 42.

margo's never been in the same physical space as the boy she likes. it's gonna make for some charged interactions.

tied in with margo's eavesdropping habit: yup, she heard gwen and hobie getting nasty. before, she didn't get it at all. now, when she can experience touch for herself, she gets why it's so appealing.

margo and miles are awkward teens. naturally they're gonna stammer their way out of a Real Date and end up inviting a friend as a buffer.

and miles is all about inclusion. he wants to be on everyone's team. he wants to bring everyone along with him. of course he'd bring as many friends as he can... which unfortunately is just two, in this fic.

also i wanted peni and margo's friendship back in focus. important for margo's first time physically in another world to be about more than just romance. it's connection of all kinds, including friendship.

the parallels between miles winning the visions lottery AND getting bitten by the spider, in both cases technically 'taking someone else's spot/opportunity' make me insane.

they're teenagers on a spur of the moment mission. of course they're gonna fuck it up.

so much of the city in earth-42 is on fire. someone's gotta bring it up.

margo's the guy in the chair. she has no idea what to do in the field. it's safer for her to be away from the action.

thought it'd be funny if all the outlets on 42 don't work on her tech, so she's truly depowered.

this is a world where there presumably aren't many heroes. people would probably assume the worst of peni.

this being margo's first outing, she's naturally going to be insecure about not being able to operate as byte. and this chapter's all about the importance of margo sans powers-- just her personality is enough.

margo, like a lot of terminally online teens, is a lot more confident online. in person, she's much more awkward.

boy it WOULD be some bullshit if btsv confirms that margo's an mj only to say 'whoops! this is the ONE time spider-man doesn't pick her!'

it's bs that gwen, hypercompetent spider-hero, wanders around 1610b for a whole week without accomplishing anything when she's so on the ball during her screentime in itsv. justified here as an effect of being in a different dimension without a portal watch: it kinda fries your brain for a while. it's not your story, so the default is you're not allowed to make choices that matter. it takes time to break through that boundary when you're new at it. like margo currently is.

also adding a bit more creep factor to the society: hq's in 928 so miguel can be extra sharp in comparison to everyone else.

margo's a spider-person. she might not have the powers, but she's got the nerve for what they do.

tiana toomes is miles's current love interest in the comics, and far and away the best one he's ever had. she's not in these movies because she was created after atsv was too deep into production to add her, but there's a chance she could be in btsv. i want that badly. she's the vulture's antiheroine granddaughter, and 42's run by the sinister six cartel, including him, so earth-42 presents a great opportunity for tiana to cameo.

since miles is a hero and tiana's an antihero in the comics, and miles g is (probably) an antihero on 42, i figure tiana also gets a slide down the morality scale. here, she's an antivillain. working for her grandpa, but with conflicted feelings about it. (miles can fix her.)

thus her cameo here: if she sees an unidentified mecha zooming past her grandpa's business, she's gonna knock her ass out of the sky and steal her shit. but she also won't let margo die.

margo dropping a tiana ref in her salty call to miles is what gets g to pick up. that, and mentioning his dad in danger: it confirms that miles is being honest about his intentions.

speaking of, presumably g ambushed miles like in atsv. not for being at his mom's, but for being an unfamiliar villain (he thinks) in his territory. and presumably, there's still a punching bag interrogation from which miles escapes.

past that, who knows. insert the events of btsv here. this chapter was a nightmare to write, and all of the miles/g stuff was kept off-page for that reason. that's also why the girls take ages to find them-- so they have time to fight, gain each other's trust, and bond.

that's g on the line. the girls are close enough to miles to recognize that it isn't him instantly. they're gonna come looking.

the hoops i jumped through in this chapter to avoid writing miles g bc i don't know what his personality is yet. whew. i'll never be satisfied with chapter 6, but it'll age better because of that choice.

anyway off the crumbs of info we have on him, we know that he acts similar enough to miles1610 that rio can't tell the difference when they interact at first, therefore miles g is, at least around his mom, sweet, nerdy and a bit of a dork. and the prowler act is just that-- peacocking to make himself seem tougher than he is.

all the same, i figure he's probably a bit more cynical/suspicious. he comes from a rougher world, his dad died recently, and he's taken on the prowler mantle to (based off some concept art:) engage in vigilantism against the cartel. he's hardened a bit as a result.

anyway: tianamiles crumb. in this fic, i think these two have a situationship going on on the side. something batcatty. uncle aaron finds it hilarious. miles g is touchy about it.

he also doesn't know what tiana looks like, so he's going to assume margo is her.

which means miles g can let his mask slip around a stranger he'd otherwise be cautious around.

no dramatic face-off between 42miles and the spidergang here. the fight's over before margo even turns up. her confidence and determination is what matters, not an actual threat of violence. she's fully formed.

first hug! first kiss!

the original plan was for margo to draw the davis's attention away so peni could move into position to bust up the apartment. narrowly avoided.

chapter 7

bringing back the flash drive from chapter 1: margo's first trip to another dimension didn't rely on a watch. she still has the code, so she can replicate it. therefore, she can drop in on miles and peni even without a watch, but she's stuck as an avatar again.

miles is an artist. he's gotta hate ai art.

irony: margo's right back where she started, an avatar with a digital boyfriend.

miles reconciling with hobie happens after his conversation with gwen in arachnophobia 7.

which means he's getting a bootleg, and margo's about to get one too.

cue margo getting to explore the multiverse in person. and she's less dependent on constant distractions and a life of constant internet stimulation to keep her from feeling bad. she's starting to embrace real life too.

which makes her an oddity in her world.

timeline: miles and margo are juniors at this point. which means their futures are starting to loom.

and since school's online on 22191, margo's not getting a break from her family situation... unless she decides to go elsewhere.

enter gwen: arachnophobia goes into why she's like this. the gist is, she and a group of her alt-selves are planning to take out the spider-society. also she has a symbiote.

rootkit returns. gwen needs it to fuck up the computer system, and margo's bitter that her software's being used without her.

timeline jump: and now it's the end of the school year.

the jealousy's gone. margo doesn't want approval from the society or its leaders anymore, and has no desire to stay there. she doesn't need validation from anyone but herself, and the boy she loves isn't putting her behind gwen.

gwen's em jay in the movies is black. it makes sense that she'd catch on first; the thing that makes margo being an mj unbelievable to most people is a given to her.

gwen and miles were never together in these fics, but they behave like they went through a breakup, so they might as well have been. they're never not gonna be roasted for that.

gwen's end of the jealousy: gwen never wanted to leave her world or her family, so she resents that margo gets to go home at the end of the day. she doesn't like the attention she's getting and would rather be left alone to do her job, which is exactly what margo gets.

and margo's an mj. editorially, gwen was killed off because the writers were bored of her and wanted to make room for mj (and instead of letting gwen move on with her life, they had to make sure she'd never move on from peter. ugh.). so in a literal sense, mj's introduction to spider-man starts the clock on gwen's death. that's the source of gwen's hostility: feeling like if margo and miles get close, her time will start running out. it's less jealousy, more self-preservation.

love triangles done wrong are about fluffing the ego of the person in the middle by making two people fight over them. it's especially gross when it's two girls being pitted against each other for a guy. bro, you're not that impressive.

when two girls fight over a guy it's not about the guy. it's about the girls feeling inadequate. the boy's not the reason, he's the excuse.

there is actually a world where mj kills gwen with fireworks. wild.

margo and gwen don't have to fight because they're girls. they also don't have to be besties just because they're girls. there are months of cold shouldering to get over, and they have very different personalities.

but gwen CAN help margo with a unique problem.

(gwen-457's in arachnophobia. i figured two tech-based heroes would get along, thus the mention of a margo friendship)

gwen fled a dysfunctional situation into another world... but who also eventually went home. if margo's going to do the same, she needs to know why she went back.

gwen's dad having a potential cop relapse is a ref to the spider-gwen mcguire run, where george... sigh. goes back to being a police chief.

so's the "commuting" ref. gwen does this in the mcguire run-- going to school in 616 and living in 65. it does not work!

as this fic is written, gwen's getting tossed into 616 'for good' in the comics to synergize with the sv movies. it's going to be a disaster for her character because she doesn't function without her own world.

it absolutely feels like they're planning to force her and miles together. major salt at that.

more salt: you can't call gwen a hero in good conscience if she ditches her world for an easier one. that's not heroic.

spider-gwen, and arguably gwen stacy as a whole, is simply not a character a married-with-kids ending works for. hobie's the same, which makes him one of the best options for a love interest for her. both aren't the domestic type, both aren't ~relationship~ people, and both need their own worlds. they're on the same page.

gwen in general can't find that balance between hero and love interest. movie salt: even when she's the hero, all it takes is for one spider-man to get a crush on her to strip that away.

mj can make that balance. she's been a hero, she's been a love interest, she gets much more agency in her appearances.

margo approaches gwen for advice on her plan to move dimensions.

but she's apprehensive because she's worried about how doing it for a relationship will land with gwen, given her baggage with that motivation.

another dig! this one's at the fandom: the council of spider-women is an all-spider-gwen secret society from the comics. it does not exist so they can wingman gwen as she feeds herself to a relationship that'll take her autonomy away. it is literally there to do the opposite. they wouldn't support gwiles, they'd get her an escape plan out of that relationship.

possible preemptive salt at btsv: i swear to god. if the council appears there, and gwiles support is the purpose they serve, i'll go rabid.

if miles g is how we nickname miles42, gwen m would be the nickname for an alternate gwen. a pun on gwenom, too. i didn't think of that when i was writing arachnophobia, but i have it now! damn!

tianamiles crumb. gotta give em where i can.

it is worth noting that "everyone gets a gwen and an mj" is a shitty idea. that's for peter. let the other spiders have their own distinct love interests... like tiana, for miles.

the counterpoint, for this fic, is that margo does qualify as something new, since miles has never had an mj, and there's never been one like her before.

margo loves miles and they're great together. they're also 16 and each other's first romance. it's better not to assume they'll last forever. thus, apprehension is appropriate. moving dimensions for a relationship is shaky. doing it for a variety of reasons is much more stable.

finally, gwen stacy gets mj and spider-man together in the end. that still happens here. and instead of margo having to wingman gwen and miles together, gwen performs that role for margo.

chapter 8/epilogue

i feel it in my soul that margo would hate irl concerts. she's short, it's loud, it stinks. no thanks.

koca-soda= miles's coke.

the bugs margo prefers are digital ones. excuse for spider-puns.

i'm recycling the rooftop party scene from atsv here: it happens a year later, and it's not about jeff's promotion, but it still happens, and miles still awkwardly introduces his girlfriend to his parents.

margo's gonna be awkward in person if she spends all her time socializing online.

miles drew gwen. he'd draw margo too. and rio would definitely look at his sketchbooks.

a year ago, after gwen dumped miles, he went home and cried about it. thus, rio wants to hunt gwen for sport.

miles counts the relationship from when they started meeting in person, in january, when he got his bootleg watch. margo counts it from the earth-42 mission.

recycling miles's 'my interdimensional girlfriend is just from out of town' excuse from atsv

like in atsv, rio's initially hostile to miles's love interest because she's afraid she'll take him away from her.

rio comes around to margo because margo also wants miles to be happy and close to home. jeff comes around to her because she seems practical.

... miles did a lot of unhinged shit over the summer to protect his dad after his promotion. stuff like trying to get him out of the captain position by screwing him up on the job.

the spot's back! more on this in arachnophobia 8.

didn't write the fight because idk what happens there other than that miles definitely saves his dad and reveals he's spider-man to his parents. we'll wait for btsv i guess.

anyway, margo's tipping point for deciding to move to 1610b after graduation is meeting his family and realizing that she wants to be a part of it.

(if you'll recall, margo comes from a world where meeting with a romantic partner in person is indicative of serious commitment.)

she's taking from gwen's commuter idea, and the assertion that a relationship/dimension move doesn't have to be permanent as well. margo will live and go to school in 1610b, and perform vigilante services as byte on 22191. she can do both!

again, margo and miles are 16/17. they're great together, but they still might not last. and that's okay. margo can have a full, rich life on 1610b or beyond, without him if she needs to, and since this is a margo fic before it's a flowerbyte fic, i wanted to underline that one more time. getting the guy is second to finally feeling good about herself and like she belongs somewhere.

movie night's from the spider within short film. it's a tradition miles and his dad have. by including margo, jeff's letting her know he's accepted her and wants her to be a part of the family.

[alexeeeeeeeeeee]

The meaning of Goh

Even though the original script and plot of the gacha game Obey Me! are already predetermined by the developers and the choices you make to achieve the relationships or the lore revelations you're seeking to obtain, there is a loooooooooot of underestimated − or unused? − elements that we can make work of to create our own story with our own very unique MC (our main character).

[DISCLAIMER : the game has made a point of not revealing the gender (or lack thereof), ethnicity, age (although this aspect is a bit ambiguous), background or deep/real personality of the story's protagonist. This post is about my OC and my OC only, so please don't feel obligated to refer to this fictional character when playing the game.]

[SPOILERS : since this is a character analysis, of course there will be spoilers of all the seasons that are currently out. You have been warned!]

For my part, HUGO YATSURUGI is the original character I designed to be the MC of my playthrough of Obey Me! :

He is a human with non-magical habilities (like stated in the scenario and main character global description) and a male in the flesh and in the mind (he/his).

His family and friends mostly nickname him Goh, and that's because he told them to do so.

During the entire season 1 until the ellipse in lesson 19, he is 18 yo and then 19 as of December 25, 2019 − which means he's born on the Christmas day of year 2000.

He has short (at the beginning) and a bit messy brown hair, Caucasian skin, pretty average body height (1m70 / 5'7'') and shape (not very muscular or skinny, just the right body to stay healthy according to his standards), chocolate brown eyes a tiny bit stretched asianly like.

(Here is the most ressembling image I could find of how I designed him in my head → AI Art found on Google Images)

I know, physically described like that, I made him look pretty average, ''normal'', maybe even insignificant, but that's the whole purpose of this charadesign.

He has brown hair and eyes, which are the second most and most common pigmentations of their color chart categories, his body is not perfectly in shape like Beelzebub, nor is he ridiculously good looking like Asmodeus (and all the other characters, let's be honest). He has lived for less than two decades and know very little of the world he once thought he knew well before being dragged to the Devildom, and he has obviously not a single idea of how the magic looming between the three worlds and connecting them works.

In short, I made him look exactly like the weak and pathetic creature most demons and angels think human beings are and, like that, I created some sort of paradox : seven of the most powerful demons that are currently existing and who were pretty set up on their own interpretations and perceptions of the human kind are attracted and intrigued by the in flesh representative of the label ''ordinary''.

I mean, just take a look at Solomon and you'll understand what I'm saying. Solomon has everything to himself, must it be the magic, the relations, the freedom to go where he wants to or the mere power/resources. His physique screams ''I'm special! Look at how powerful and shady mysterious I look everyone'', and that's not a bad thing considering his will to remind everyone that he is the most capable and mighty sorcerer of the three worlds, but Goh isn't that kind of person and certainly don't want to be.

(Solomon's Box | Obey Me! Game Resources (fan-made) | Karasu-OS.com)

So, to summarize, Goh − physically speaking − is the definition of ordinary, of normal, of the freedom to be without the constraint of any external source (ex : being recognized as King Solomon the Wise) − at least for the time being, because the next seasons change that aspect of his character without him noticing it.

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But what about the intangible parts of his existence? What about his own designation as an existing, sentient being?

I'm talking here of his name.

First name : Hugo

Last name / family name : Yatsurugi / Salvador

Nickname : Goh

Since I'm a big fan of secret meanings and symbolisms of all sorts, I think it's interesting to dig a bit deeper into the signification and origin of the names I chose when I decided to create Goh.

Let's start by his nickname, since he's most commonly called like that by the others − because he told them to call him like that, his friends didn't come up with that nickname.

If I'm honest with you, when I first started to play the game, I had just finished the recent episodes of Pokemon Journeys and I really liked the name of Goh, so I decided that it was going to be the name of my MC 😂

Of course, since it was a quick without any thoughts decision, I considered changing it, but I decided to do some research on the signfication first − because let's be honest, ''Goh'' isn't the most common or usual first name.

In fact, ''Goh'' is mostly known as a Chinese or Korean surname, but can also be found as a Japanese given name.

''Goh is a common last name found among Overseas Chinese communities around the world. In fact, “Goh” is the transliteration of several different Chinese surnames. Its meaning varies depending on how it is written in Chinese, and which dialect it is pronounced in.'' (Source : Goh Chinese Last Name Facts – My China Roots)

It's majorly popular in Singapore, United States and Malaysia, and often associated with the surname ''Wu'' because of the similarities between the two hanzi (吴 / 吳 [Wu / Goh]). Basically, it means an ''area comprising southern Jiangsu, northern Zhejiang and Shanghai, [and the] name of states in Southern China at different historical periods'' (Source : Goh Chinese Last Name Facts – My China Roots)

This surname is also pretty similar in minnan (Southern Min) pronunciation with gǒu (狗), which is the literal translation of ''dog'', but it's something I'll talk about in more details in an other post that'll dig deeper into the family relationships of my OC.

The Korean ''Goh'' is a romanized version of the common surname Ko (Hangul : 고; Hanja : 髙 / 高).

''According to the Samguk Sagi [a historical record of the Three Kingdom of Korea], the Goguryeo royal family claimed descent from the mythical god Gao Yang, who was the grandson of the Yellow Emperor of Chinese mythology, and thus took the surname of “Go” (高)'' (Source : Ko (Korean surname) - Wikipedia)

Its signfication is ''high'', which is not very surprising given that its supposed origin is from a mythical god, but it's still an interesting hasard to notice (*wink*).

Finally, there is the Japanese given name Gō/Go/Gou/Goh, a first name mostly masculine and one that can be written in six different ways (豪, 剛, 強, 昂, 郷 or 江). The most commonly used are 豪 (overpowering, powerful, superior) and 剛 (strong, sturdy, brave), but I tend to personally prefer this one : 昂, meaning ''rise''.

Again, you can see that there is this connection with a certain elevation, something to surpass or to reach that needs Goh to rise up and high and strong (*wink wink*).

When I did my researches for this nickname − which was originally supposed to be a first name −, I felt that those Korean and Japanese significations and meanings were pretty fitted for the character I wanted to build, so I decided to stick with it. The Chinese origin only came to use later, when I started to establish the nationality and ethnic origin of Goh.

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Besides, speaking of nationality and ethnicity, you can notice in the picture I shared above that Goh doesn't look very Japanese, and his first name doesn't sound Japanese either. That's because Hugo is a metis (mixed blood). He was born American − Texan, to be more precise − of a Mexican-American mother and a Chinese-Japanese father, but he has his Japanese nationality.

Yatsurugi is obviously is father last name, inherited from his paternal grandparents, but Goh doesn't consider Yatsurugi to be his family name. For him, Salvador, his mother last name, his more a family name to him than Yatsurugi, and that's because of some beef between him and his asian family side that will be explore somewhere else.

For the time being, let's just analyze the names of Yatsurugi and Salvador.

Yatsurugi (八釼) litteraly means ''eight swords'', and just with that, I would be able to create a connection between his familial lineage and his fate, but let's elaborate a bit. 八 is the common kanji for the number eight − 8 −, but in this last name context, it can also signify ''eight times, occasions'' or ''eight in order'' as well as it can imply the action to ''divide'' or suggest the time of ''two o'clock''.

The number 8 isn't trivial as we know that, before falling from heaven, Lucifer and his brothers had a sister, Lilith, which would've brought the counter to eight demons if she had survived after the fall. When Goh appeared in their lives, he was the eight in a sequence of order to set foot in the Devildom. Without really wanting it, by forging pacts with the brothers to try and reconcile Lucifer and Belphegor, Goh was momentarily the cause of a more important dividing between the eldest and the youngest when he revealed to the former his intention. Moreover, in numerology, the miror hour of 2H02 is basically a sign of kind and comforting reminder - as if Lilith sent Goh to reassure her brothers that everything would be alright - and the raw signification of 8 is prosperity, luck and wealth.

As for 釼, it can be interpreted as ''sword'' or ''sword with blades on both sides''. The sword the name is referring to is a tsurugi (剣), ''a specific type of Japanese straight, double-edged sword used in antiquity'' (Source : Tsurugi (sword) - Wikipedia).

''Nowadays it is mainly associated with very remote historical times, as well as legends and mythology. [...] The most famous example is the legendary sword Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi [, which is one of three Imperial Regalia of Japan. It was originally called Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi (天叢雲剣, “Heavenly Sword of Gathering Clouds”), but its name was later changed to the more popular Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi (“Grass-Cutting Sword”). In folklore, the sword represents the virtue of valor.'' (Source : Kusanagi no Tsurugi - Wikipedia)

At first, I wasn't very convinced by the sword part of the name, even less when I realised the actual name meant ''eight swords''. Although, I thought about the utility of a sword and came to a pretty satisfying conclusion that can settle the entire meaning of this last name :

Goh enters into pacts with seven of the most powerful demons of the Devildom, seven Rulers of the Underworld, seven double-edged swords in the sense that they can hurt and protect at the same time.

But what about the eight?

Well, it can refer to the power up of Goh throughout the different seasons and the path he's choosing to follow by trying to control his immense magic strength. He's doing his best to not hurt anyone again with it, but there will always be the possibility of loosing the thin control the Ring of Light gives him.

(Also, highlights to the Japanese names translations of the legendary tsurugi : the first could be a reference to the one Lilith once represented [the heavenly one] and the second, to Goh [grass-cutting as a reference to the human world reincarnation and descendance].)

In the case of Salvador − the last name that Goh considers his real family name, but doesn't wear for some reasons −, it's inherited from his mother Mexican side, and thus arbor a spanish and latin ethymology. Salvador, meaning ''saviour'' in Catalan, Spanish, and Portuguese, is normally an indirect way of naming a Messiah − and a not so subtle way to refer to the unique being that is Goh.

The ''saviour'' part is not directly refering to my OC, in the sense that he is not really the one who saves, but the one who is saved − of course by his mother family side, because it wouldn't make any sense otherwise. The reason I don't see Goh as a saviour, even though he managed to help the brothers patch their familial relationships, is because he didn't really saved them, he helped them to communicate by being a bridge all along, the neutral party in the equation (Simeon just verbalized what MC always did since the beginning regarding the Belphie matter in lesson 17).

જ⁀➴

But what about is given name? Hugo doesn't sound either spanish or asian...

Actually, Hugo is of German provenance (and Latin if we go back even further in ethymology), originally written ''Hugh'' (hug if you can see through it), and means “mind/spirit” and “intellect”, as well as "soul", "thought" and "heart". Goh has a naturally unfazed personality and his curious mind never ceases to fuel an impressive memory and capacity for analysis and deduction (one of the many reasons why Satan loves him by the way).

[Source : Hugo - Baby Name Meaning, Origin and Popularity (thebump.com)]

Although, even if he is an intellect at heart, that doesn't mean that he can't be kind and attentive to others − Lucifer (and Barbatos in Nightbringer) often say that he is way to nice and gentle for his own good sometimes.

There is also an Italian version of the name, which can be written Ugo or Hugo, and that connects a bit more with the Spanish-Mexican root of Goh family.

જ⁀➴

So, yeah.

Hugo Yatsurugi is quite the extraordinary.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Why So Much Cynicism About The Bear?

I feel like there is a large contingent of fans that seem very cynical about the show. Like we get this great show and people are like eh, we can’t have nice things. Excuse this rowdy ramble.

There are those that feel the show should stop at one season because the story is complete. I guess I don’t understand why they think the story is wrapped. I feel we got more questions than answers. How is Cicero going to react? How are they going to work out exactly what The Bear is (ie. menu, service model, design specifics)? How awful is the renovation process going to be? How are Carmy and Sydney going to elevate the crew to a new standard? How are they going to form a different partner dynamic with each other? What is the new standard? Are they trying to go full fine dining or something in-between? Also, a gun is a character. It will be used, screenwriting 101.

There are those that feel the show should stop at one season because they fear the sophomore slump. Can we not trust the writers to deliver more of what they already did? Granted, some shows never live up to the magic of the first season but many do. Many actually get better or at least maintain consistency. Why expect the worst.

There are those who are terrified of any romantic elements being introduced. I’ll be honest and say I do ship Carmy and Sydney. I think anyone who doesn’t see the clues is in denial or just really isn’t paying attention... or they see it and just don't like it. But Episode 8 should clear up any confusion. No man stares at simply a mentee like that. Makes no sense and that’s just one clue. There is the possibility that she won't like him back but that man is into her, no doubt. That being said even if there was no Carmy and Sydney I don’t understand the bitter opposition to any hint of romance. I keep seeing it will ruin the show, the show doesn’t need it, the show isn’t about it. Myself, and many others see a pretty clear setup for a romance. So if the elements are there there's no inserting anything. And I doubt any relationship would just turn the show into a soap opera. We don’t even know the full story the show wants to tell, who these characters are, how the arc develops. I need some examples of relationships ruining a show. I don’t watch much tv so maybe I’m missing all of these fantastic shows that were ruined by a relationship. This leads me to…

Why are Chefs Kiss truthers so cynical about the ship? Not all, but there is a big contingent that just swears it will never happen. I get that there is a history of Black leading ladies not being picked as the partner but I feel like this is way too obvious for there to be no follow through. It’s as apparent yet subtle as Richonne who I often compare them to. I think it’s way too intentional for the writers to not have a plan. It seems integral to Carmy's character development, not just a side plot. And this show is DIFFERENT. I trust them. The fact that they picked these two as unconventional leads says a lot. Of course they can change course but I just see this as too important for our main character to pass up. This leads me to…

This is essentially a Coming of Age story according to Chris Storer, the creator. Even without a romance this show is about Carmy and his adult coming of age. That could mean romance, it could mean mental health wellness, it could mean developing an identity beyond being a chef. But Carmy can’t/shouldn’t stay the same person. A hero needs a journey. His journey didn’t just end by finding a bizarre blood money inheritance. I want to see Carmy become as fully actualized a man he can be. Just being a chef, obsessively, isolating from everything and everyone else is why he is so fucked. He said himself the deeper he went, the quieter his life became, the more he cut people out. His monologue laid it out. Carmy needs to let people in. That’s his challenge. The bro drama is just one element. This goes back to other family dramas, this goes back to him having a childhood stutter, this goes back to an absentee father, this goes back to having trouble connecting in friendships and romantically and not being funny. Carmy’s story deserves to be fully told and he needs a personal triumph, not just a new restaurant. Isn’t that something to look forward to and be happy about?

Storer mentioned joy in season 2. Bring joy! So why all the cynicism about this outstanding show? Anyways, random thoughts while awaiting my Thai food. Carry on.