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#everythings just. too. wrong. everywhere
hoaxghost · 6 months
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Are there notable angels/demons in the File Recovery universe based on works such as the Ars Goeta or the Shem Ha-Mephorash? If so, what are they?
I've taken some light inspiration from the Ars Goeta (Stolforns name is really just a combination of Stolas+Forneus) and Dantes Inferno but have mostly strayed from mentioning specific demon names/locations and themes in other works.
Well I guess besides the Bible- again File Recovery is based round a lot of complex religious thoughts I had going to catholic school/church as a kid so I consider it impossible for me to not to take influence from the old and new testament, the seven virtues, saints, confirmation, communion etc... idk I just want more religious fantasy stories that aren't all about converting people or modern day politics
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themyscirah · 1 month
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But look at us Luke, we're the ones left alone, holding some rich monster's pain. All of existence, built on his violence. All of space-time, humming to life with a single inviolate rule. Give the hero something to punch.
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👀🍕..
#chattin#i am AWAKE from my nap. and i have thoughts#thinking of that damn 🍕head bc i keep seeing him in my dash…and people draw him w others so well….#i want him to be like just a silly guy#but a silly guy thats got something a little fucked up wrong w him#mentions of stalking and obsessive behavior ->#like i think i am going to settle w 🍕head being a bit (ALOT…AWFULLY ALOT) obsessed w peppino#like summing it up wo writing an essay;#he wanted peppinos shop and got rejected TWICE. he tried hiring peppino and got chased out of the shop#and it went from ‘i want the shop’ to ‘i want peppino’ to ‘if i cant have the shop neither can he’#to ‘if i cant have him…well actually thats not an issue at all’#imitation is the sincerest form of flattery yknow#the peppibots came first bc its like ‘okay i cant have the damn shop but i can just Make a shop w bots that work like him. that cant be too-#-hard RIGHT??’ but the bots are so volatile and unresponsive and they explode everything they touch#and pizzahead is like ‘no… :(‘ peppino looks so angry but makes his food w LOVE…he does NOT explode his food!!!#he doesnt want to scrap the idea but it Is a bit disheartening#and hes like OKAY. WHATEVER! WE ALWAYS HAVE OTHER PLANS….!#theres gotta be cloning labs right? no i dont care about the morality of that shit u sillywilly. FIND ME A LAB.#so now theres little peppino clones everywhere. and they look SO close to the real thing#and pizzahead is like. hol up. i think something is happening that i dont want to happen right now. but im going to put that away for now :)#by this point peppino has already relocated to his Current Spot bc theres literally NOTHING available 😭#‘enough. to the Woods with you’#and pizzahead is like there is no fucking way that chump that IDIOT that extremely handsome IDIOT took the damn plot next to the tower#and immediately is like ‘well if im already making the bots AND the clones then i really REALLY dont need u! at all! not even a little!-#-I dont care! i really dont! who needs a strong and smart and handsome man like u around???!!!!!!’#and pizzahead is like that fucking dumbass😏 watch that shit explode in 6 hours. only um. peppino is storming the tower#and hes like WAIT OH SHIT. KEYS. KEYS WHERW ARE THEY??? THE CLONES! WE AINT GOT NO TIME THE FAT MAN IS COMIN#YOU. ECCENTRIC ARTIST. FIGHT THAT MAN. ‘okay’ YOU WEIRD CHEESE MAN. SHOOT. ‘mkay’#like hes panicking and throwing shit in the air and running in circles in his little camera room#NOOO im at tag limit…pizzahead hates this man he loves this man he is obsessed and maybe wants him a little carnally. its all good okay bye
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liquidstar · 10 months
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maaannnn The Fatigue has been so bad lately i just want this day to be over so i can sleep. theres literally not anything else i could do... but i have to wait...
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airbenderedacted · 9 months
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NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭
IT'S,,,.,...,.
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#mango-mya#like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah#they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty-#-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get''#so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere#it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time)#BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF!#the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!!#THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh#ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is#w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot#atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh#and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case..#a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh#blaaagh#OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc.#you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!!#(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏)#& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie#but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness.#YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD#and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs...#(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?)#just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !!#most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?''#sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation#(´・ω・`) 👍👍#.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅#my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs
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moskowins · 4 months
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yeah,   yeah,   eli and demetri are cute,   but miguel and eli?   they own my heart now and forever.   out of all the bonds that eli could ever have and i want to see more on screen,   in order it goes:   eli/miguel,   eli/sam,   eli/robby,   and eli/tory.   i said what i said.
#out of character. ⁽ edie ⁾#don't get me wrong#eli and dem are incredible and they had a beautiful friendship but the show refuses to acknowledge that dem genuinely never accepted#that eli was growing and changing and tried to pull the hawk persona from him without a care of why it had happened or what it meant to eli#he looked down on him for it and it's why hawk turned all the affection he had into active hatred#and eli was horrible to him and you don't just move past that and go back to how things were. eli and dem are so so different now#and they need to fix so much between them. they can and they will but it's also okay to not go back to how things were#they outgrew each other and that's okay. it's valid and it happens and they can still be close without going in circles#eli and miguel's friendship is so important to me because they grew together and miguel actually saw eli for who he was#miguel was the only one who could see his friend even when he took the rage and anger and need for control too far#he knew eli didn't stop being eli just because he was putting up this front and diving head first into it#also the fact that sam and eli have so much in common yet have always been on opposing ends and a balance to each other? makes me feral#i need more of them because i know they can be such a good team and it warmed my heart to see them root for each other#sam and eli are so passionate and have the capability of being so raw and real and their fighting styles are the most balanced tbh#they've been everywhere all at once and i need them to be a duo and fighting together because everything they hated each other for was a#doing of their trauma and their fears and everyone else tbh. sam and eli don't really know each other at all#and they have so much to unpack and see in each other because i do think that they have a lot in common and balance each other#eli and robby whew so much to unpack there too and i just need them to not gloss over what happened between them#and same with eli and tory because at some point they were all they had in ck when everything changed#and hawk was loyal to her and cared for her and he was displaced and it sent him deeper down#anyway justice for eli and actually seeing ties that matter without him just being shoved into an old friendship
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meowonhao · 5 months
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soo crazy to me how in the last year with minghao, dokyeom, hoshi, joshua, junhui, and now woozi (idk if i'm missing someone) y'all are way too ready and eager to automatically throw them under the bus over something some random person (usually antis) said online and then like a day or two later when everyone comes to the consensus that it wasn't actually that big of a deal or even wrong/bad in the first place (which you could've figured out yourself from the beginning by just doing like. 30 seconds of research and exercising your critical thinking skills) everyone just moves on like nothing happened and goes back to being a fan/stanning them or whatever like you weren't just going with the crowd and shit-talking them 12 hours ago
#not even going to get into how so many problems arise from no understanding of korean/asian culture#and relying on half-assed and sometimes just straight up wrong translations#like cool you don't have to know everything about a culture or be fluent in a language but#that also means you probably shouldn't be speaking on certain things at all much less without even trying to look into it a bit more#anyways..yeah i'm sorry maybe i'm delusional but i definitely am going to default to trusting my idols#and then figuring out for myself if i really think they did something that bad or “cancel” worthy#before i'm about to believe some random twitter/tumblr/tiktok user and just go with whatever they tell me to think about something#and most of y'all don't apologize or clarify anything. just move on right after hurling the most abhorrent accusations against these people#who are people too in case anyone forgot#but then an idol kills themselves and everybody boohoo's and cries and acts like they just can't believe how this happened again#like it's you. you're why#and i can only speak on the last year of course bc that's how long i've been an actual carat and kept up with them to this extent#i'm sure other stupid stuff has happened before that too with other members#i just think if you're so ready to toss away your idols without giving them like any benefit of the doubt whatsoever you just need to go#i hate when i see this stuff too bc i'm usually only seeing the korean side of stuff and most of these things are such a non-issue here#bc people know better (not saying there aren't some crazy fans everywhere but)#then i see some dumb shit on tumblr dot com that either only has links to some dumb twitter thread#or i have to search for on twitter because again. i do not see stuff from int'l fans unless i am forced to or look it up intentionally#and just saying the timing of these things is always so calculated by antis and y'all fall for it every single time#this is all i have to say bc i just remembered the whole thing abt ppl trying to say hao was being fatphobic or something dumb#and then i remembered everything else and it just made me mad all over again lol#if anyone disagrees with any of this feel free to block me🥰
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n4b3 · 10 months
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#genuinely just want her out of my life the pain i experienced whenever i see her is tremendous#it is equally as painful as being ill#i woke up at 4am and its almost 6 and i can't stop thinking about her#and i stupid ass girl thought everything would be fine that she would understand what im going through and cried my eyes out asking for hel#and yet i got nothing. thinking she was someone i could rely on#it is so painful to see the fragments of what we were in other people. but she has actively avoided me and treated me so badly#and yet i bite back when she does and it couldn't get any worse#and i held to that hope that there's a way it can be fixed there's hope to that promise she said she didn't want to lose me#and lose the connection we had for so many years#it's like she's that kind of person everybody likes. everybody friend. but its only there for the good times and not for the bad times#and made me wonder what does friend mean to other people? for me is for the ppl who are in the good and the bad#i just kind of realized i can't talk to her anymore bc it sends me on this spirals of why's why's why's#why is she like that with me? why didn't she kept up with her promise? what kind of shit did i do or say that made everything go south?#this is too much for me and i don't know what I did wrong#everywhere i go i just see her bc she's my classmate but also i can't scape her bc her art is suddenly in art galleries#she haunts me in a way#but i miss her so much and i just we could go back to what we used to be#and i don't understand why shes like that with me none of our common friends understand either and everyone telling me to drop her#because of her behavior#and im just here praying for someone to pop up into my life and take me out of this misery#but it is really one of the hardest things for me is to meet new people literally my Achilles heel#its so hard to go through this pain alone i can barely keep up with the illness i have this shit is the cherry on top#made me wish I had ride or dies#and I have so many reasons to hate her and treat her badly and awful and yet i don't do it... and I even forgave her what she did to me#treats me like I was the one who did what she did to me#is really so bizarre
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simonghostrileys · 1 year
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#liliana talks#the thoughts to simply off myself are really strong tonight#nothing in my life comes out the way i'd like to#not even my dog's behaviour#i can't even take him on walks bc after five mins he gets overwhelmed and really anxious and nervous and it's driving me crazy#i can't get him to focus on my and he just pulls and pulls and wants to run off#i can't enjoy walks and i can't take him anywhere#today's walk got super frustrating and everyone kept asking me if they could pet him and told everyone no#i even snapped at this little girl bc i just reached my limit and had too much#i know it was wrong of me and i wish i could apologize to this little girl bc i just feel so bad rn#on top of that i'm gonna turn 28 soon and i haven't accomplished anything in my life#i'm a fucking failure. i can never accomplish shit and whenever i rarely get anything i dreamed of it comes out fucked up like my dog#i hate everything and i hate my life and myself and i have no luck at anything whatsoever#like what was the fucking point on bringing me to this world?? so i could have a miserable life?? to never accomplish anything??#to lack on all aspects of myself and my life?? see everyone around me get things and never have difficulties on anything???#not even on their dogs' behaviour?? see how they can take them everywhere and not get overwhelmed?? while mine is a fucking mess??#i don't even have money to buy him a fucking toy!!! how fucking miserable is that???#my sister had to give me money to buy him a harness bc i have shit for money#i've been trying for how long god knows to get a job in this place and plot twist... i haven't got any#i just want to die it would be way easier but i'm a fucking coward to even do that. i'm so fucking pathetic jfc#suicide mention tw
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miserye · 1 year
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Honestly I read some of “it ends w us” by colleen hoover and I don’t get the hype
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oatbugs · 2 years
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ok so heres what happened
#basically we went on another date. idk if u guys remember but the first date actually went rly well but for some reason i felt Nothing like#there was literally nothing wrong and everything went perfectly i showed her around london etc i was just like. idk i felt. friendship#not much more. anyway so for this date i went to manchester (they came all the way to ldn for me last date so its fine its fair) and she#showed me around etc and it was like. rly rly good. like genuinely we did a lot and talked a lot..and like. theyre rly rly good at art etc#like they carry pencils and their sketchbook w them everywhere and they draw ppl and scenery etc that they see + find interesting.#and like we talked. a lot . but at some point they looked at me a lot and i was like whats wrong and she said youre really beautiful and id#love to draw u . which was rly sweet...and also she said she loves watching me watching things. bc we went to a gallery#and then a book shop. BTW THE BOOK SHOP. ok so we were walking and there was like a random staircase upstairs and a sign saying book shop w#nothing else on it outside and we went upstairs and it was like a rly small but rly. cosy? interesting? book shop and there was this guy w#a rly rly pretty face and a long coat typing and there were like 20 poetry books next to him. some of them were lovesongs from the persp-#ective of a satanist and i asked him if the book was his and he said i guess . i bought an unlabelled book for £1#ok just realised it would be too long to type the full interaction but istg i felt more abt this guy than i did abt her and i DONT KNOW WHY#like literally theres nothing wrong things went great i just dont. get it?? like. maybe i need her to be more interesting. but i feel#like thats not a valid reason. anyway she clearly feels more abt me than i do abt her but i also kind of implied previously id be ok w#exploring being more than friends etc but now im like. done exploring? like i dont think i can feel romantically abt her idk..but am i just#being dumb but also is it unfair to her if i say nothing. anyway i bought love poetry we walked around a lot + bought bubble tea + we both#had 5% to make it back home w. also went to cute cafes and vintage places etc etc#ill write abt the bookshop guy later maybe. anyway whats wrong w me why cant i just like smn normally. i have to make rice and#head off to archery now bye
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biillys · 1 year
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ehhhh how bout a very vaguely supernatural meets ghost fiIes inspired au
neil being raised in hunting and bringing his wife into it and then his newborn son. his wife leaving eventually, becos she couldn't handle it anymore, and she desperately wanted to take her baby boy with her, but he already knew too much, and she couldn't protect him like neil could. she also couldn't protect him from neil, but there were bigger monsters than humans, and after one too many close calls, she leaves.
billy's left in neil's supernatural capable hands.
life on the road with his dad is rough, jumping around from place to place, never being somewhere long enough to call home, no extended family or old family friends to stay at for long hot summers. just him and his dad, his dads hot and cold temper, and the open road. that's all billy knows.
then one day, they're on a hunt, and there's a freshly divorced mother and her hotheaded stubborn daughter, and billy watches as his dad continues to charm them even after they've eradicated the simple ghost, watches as the mum falls for every word and practiced smile, and suddenly it's the four of them on the road.
susan seems weak, looks awkward with a gun in her hands, still jumps at the slightest bump when they're clearing out a house, but neil's patient with her, repeats the steps on how to fire and clean the gun day after day, holds her fucking hand whenever he notices her tensing up, and billy wants to scream.
neil locked billy in the shed of the place they were renting when he was six becos he fumbled the gun. fucking belted him that one time in texas when he accidentally let a monster get away becos he was scared, like billy actively let the fucking thing get away for fun and not becos he was frozen paralysed, listening to it rattle of things that billy knew he'd never said out loud.
his dad never told him it could get into your head.
max is better about it, but still a fucking pain. at least she doesn't seem to be a baby about everything. if billy's being honest, max has handled the transition from normal suburban life to life on the road and hunting monsters like a champ. too bad neil's basically placed her entire wellbeing and care into billy's hands, and the rope billy's felt around his neck his entire life's went from snug to fucking choking.
life goes on though, and eventually billy's old enough to buy his own car, do his own hunts. max rides with him more often than not, mostly out of habit, but also becos she'd pick being stuck with her asshole older step-brother for weeks at a time over spending even just an hour in close quarters with her piece of shit step-dad.
turns out, life on the road with just billy is good. he's like a completely different person when he can breathe without his dad taking up all the air. he's even fun on occasion. actually talks her through what they're hunting, why they're hunting it, lets her actually help.
(she accidentally tripped on a tree root one time on a hunt with the family when she was younger, and one sprained wrist later, she was banned from coming on anymore. she tried to argue it was a simple tree root, and that billy slipped a disc in his spine getting thrown against a brick wall just last month, but neil put his foot down. said susan was worried, and if susan was worried, neil was worried. billy was a big boy, he could walk it off. max was delicate, she had to be kept safe. billy wouldn't even look at her for at least a week after that fight.)
the time between seeing their parents slowly grows longer and longer between each trip the longer they're away. it started off with just a few days off on a side hunt before reuniting within the week, but then the few-days-hunts turned into few-weeks-hunts, and suddenly it felt like they were only seeing their parents for special occasions.
but the longer they were away, the lighter they became. the first time max hears billy refer to her as his sister, no tone, no stressed step sister, just sister, she does a double take. doesn't dare bring it up 'til they get back to the motel they were crashing at. billy rolls his eyes, bitches about not needing to give some fucking random his entire life story.
they bond over hating neil and hating susan's life choices, get competitive over who can figure out the monster of the week first, and turn the other way when one ~accidentally lets a monster get away.
(the first time billy let a monster get away on purpose, he waited up all night, expecting his dad to burst into the room and knock some sense into him. accuse him of being just as monstrous, just another fucking killer, reckless, letting them get away like that. his dad was 6 states away and deep into a hunt of his own, but billy had second guessed his choice since the second he walked away earlier that evening, refreshing the local news site constantly waiting for another body to drop, to prove the voice in his head that sounded exactly like neil right, that he was a failure of a hunter, falling for the sob story and bullshit the monster spilled and pleaded and promised with on what should have been it's last moments.)
(billy knows real monsters though, and despite what his mother said to him in the last memory he has of her, humans were always worse. most things neil taught billy to hunt were harmless. he's trying so fucking hard to teach this to max. to make sure innocent blood never drips from her hands the way it does his.)
anyway: to the ghost fiIes part of this. i think it would be FUN if, in a big Fuck You And Everything You Stand For to his dad, that one time on a hunt, billy's having a casual joyful yelling match with a ghost, and max whips out her phone and records, uploads it to her insta, and one or two people watch.
then one time, theyre trying to get a demon to fuck off, and billy's trying to fucking sales pitch hell to them, like billy's ever even been there, and max whips out her phone again. a few more people watch.
slowly max builds a following. is always careful to frame every video in such a way that monsters stay the stuff of legends, but make it realistic enough that if you know - you know. starts to gradually add herself to this mix. soon, her and billy are going into legitimately haunted houses just to chat to ghosts, record the whole thing, and chuck the best moments up on youtube.
the first time neil sees a clip, sees his son terrorising a ghost - but not in a hunt-to-kill sort of way, but just for jokes, for a laugh sort of way - he drives for three days straight to sort him out in person. gets him up and crowded against the paper thin wall, asking if he thinks it's funny, what ghosts are capable of doing, if he thinks it's a joke, all those people they were too late to save. if he thinks his mother left him, all over a laugh. billy wishes he didn't buckle under the weight, wishes his voice didn't shake when he answered, but he caught max's eye over his dad's shoulder, and she had a gun in one hand, and her knife in the other, and billy's seen her look at poltergeists that have threatened her life more kindly than the way she's looking at neil in the moment. billy gathers what little strength he can pull, juts his chin out and glares as dirty as possible. finds his voice and kicks his dad out of the motel room, managing to shake his dad off in the split second of shock neil has over billy not instantly caving. max echoing billy's demands, telling neil to get the fuck out. to go protect her mother, since he trapped her into a life she'll never be able to survive on her own, and to keep her safe, and to stay the fuck out of theirs.
basically BASICALLY i'm watching ghost fiIes and i just think billy and max in a supernatural world but like, in a fun way, would be GOOD SHIT. and i want billy to still be lowkey scared of ghosts and demons becos he has seen the havoc they can create first hand, the families they can destroy in just a heartbeat, so he's always a little tense attending a haunting, but he goes in every time, becos its all he's ever done, becos max told him on a bad night once that she thought he was brave, and he talks (and yells and screams and mocks and, occasionally, cries) to them and slowly he starts to find himself and get his life together, helping all these fucking trapped and usually scared and also so so so angry ghosts. helps them to the best of his ability. listens to them when they wail. talks to them when they cry. he starts to heal.
max grows, too, having watched something invisible, with no physical form whatsoever, tear her father to shreds, just weeks after the divorce, to driving around the country with her brother, spending nights in houses so haunted it would scare a priest, adjusting to loving her mother from a distance, cos she'll never understand why she fell for the shit neil was offering, why she stuck around, gripping his hand tight, that first time neil lost his shit at billy in front of them. why she continued to hold his hand, going as far as to look the other way, the first time neil laid into her for not getting detailed enough research for a case, blaming her for his broken ribs and her mother's dislocated shoulder. billy silently offering her an ice pack that night in the darkness, wordlessly passing over some pills and a glass of water.
billy made a point to look over her research from then on out, just in case.
max thinks her life could've turned out a whole lot better if her dad never died, if neil and billy never entered it. but she's pretty sure that out of every option she could've had, that the way it is now, her and billy making some silly youtube show, confronting their own nightmares night after night, saving monsters, hunting things, this is the best option.
OKAY literally none of this captured my original thought of billy and max just fucking around in haunted houses and annoying the dead.
max knowing shits real but billy would swear with the way she acts and talks that she thinks it's all horseshit. billy wouldn't even call her brave, she genuinely just doesn't seem to give a fuck. she's got a fuck with Me attitude and billy gets it, okay, if he were already dead, be wouldn't try anything on her either, imagine dying once by falling down an elevator shaft then getting fucking slayed again by a seventeen yr old who failed her learners permit, not once, but twice. billy'd back the fuck off, too.
billy being a lil scared in a extremely fucking haunted houses, knowing full well that demons were real and they were here, in this very room, and max telling him to shut the fuck up whilst pushing him into the portal, aka the closet, and telling him to turn his light off and talk to it. billy, bitching under his breath, you talk to it, but still standing there, light off, stupid little camera on, opening a line of communication. his usual tactic for getting through the night being to raise absolute hell. if he's gonna chill with demons, the dead, and inter-dimensional freaks all night, he was gonna make sure they were just as fucked up about him as he was them.
feel like this STILL doesn't capture what i was originally going for but anyway if u watch ghost fiIes you Know. thank you for reading if you've made it this far also sincerest apologies for whatever the fuck this is
#i do NOT know.#i just think ghost fiIes is fun and itd be funner if we ever found out that they DID have a full on encounter#they just decided not to air it to KeEp iT LiGhT etc#and also i just think that spinning the wheel on what backstory of childhood trauma we can bend to shape around billy and max is Necessary#billy hating his father but also. its his dad. and he had an isolated childhood that kept him relient. so he hates his dad but his dad#really is all he's ever known. hard to hate somewhere with the full feeling when you don't really know any different#someone*#he resents his mother. mainly for leaving. for using the excuse that it wasnt safe for her to stay but it wasnt safe for him to go.#resents her for trying to convince him that neil wasnt the scariest thing in the world. that there was more to fear.#when he KNOWS that thats not true. it took him a while to see it. took a hellva lot of growing up and wising uo#wising up*#but eventually he finally fucking got what his mum was trying to say. and realised she was fucking wrong.#MAX being just as fucked up about everything as billy is except shes better at processing it. doesnt have an entire childhood to drag#her down and fuck her up. alls she knows is that her parents got divorced. the custody battle got messy. then suddenly her dad was dead#blood everywhere and her mum was a wreck and terrified.#then suddenly the world got a whole lot bigger yet shrunk down to just one car and four passengers#and life was never the same again#(she was never as brave as billy thought she was. she just never got to experience the horrors he had. never been walked away from#a sprained wrist here and a cut to the cheek there. some nasty bruises every other week. but she was never in any real danger.#im too tired now and none of this is what im trying to say ugh Anyway. stream ghost fiIes. stan billy & max. thanku#m#nqff
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iridescentis · 17 days
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losing my mind a little
#sometimes hearing other people's opinions of your fav stuff is wonderful#sometimes you want to bash your head into a wall and cry#i wish i wasn't so easily influenced by other people's opinions y'know?#like my brain just sees it and immediately says whatever i think is wrong#its so fucking annoying#im one of those people that just obsesses over one simple thing#im not a 'learn everything i possibly can about it' person#when im fixated on smth that doesn't mean i want to know everything about it#but i end up feeling like shit because most fandom people i have seen are like that#i just enjoy things that fuel my overactive imagination!#anything that provides daydreams is my favourite!#but i just can't commit to something as much#it's so weird bc irl i feel like im the one who's too much#but in fandom spaces i feel like im not enough#i don't have particularly strong opinions about anything#i feel like im too apathetic for fandoms but too invested for it to be considered a casual interest#where are my people who love writing fics and making aus but don't give a shit about canon accuracy and extended lore??#i think i just need to stop looking at the latest posts in tags#ive been on a mission to filter myself less and yet im always catching myself#double checking what everyone else thinks so i don't say anything different#i hate my dumbass brain lmao#it's like im a fish out of water everywhere#so many people ive heard suck ass at real life#but flourish on the internet#because they're surrounded with others like them#but no matter where i go i still feel wrong?#when i was younger i cared way less about appearing normal#i was fucking weird and proud of it#maybe a little too proud#but idk what the fuck happened
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tee-chan · 18 days
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I'll never understand the people that have already come to the conclusion that I'm going to make their drink wrong while they're ordering it
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Left choir early because of the early symptoms of a panic attack and what can I say. I'm really feeling it now.
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