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#ex prison wife
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Just some new selfies of yours truly.
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widowshill · 4 months
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BURKE DEVLIN & ROGER COLLINS. — It isn't really amazing if you know what love is about. — Well, yes, I suppose I don't know anything about love. I guess that's why she married you ten years ago and not me. — I'll go one step further. I think you've gone beyond the point of even knowing what it is.
#guns cw#but they're not actually.. guns. if you know what i mean.#dark shadows#dark shadows 1966#roger collins#burke devlin#how do i even begin to explain them.#diversity loss.#what if you were in an extremely messy polycule in the 1950s;#and in the midst of various & varied violations of maine r.s. 1954 c.134 §1-8 in the backseat of burke's car;#hit and killed a bystander because absolutely no one drives sober in collinsport. and then lied and sent your boyfriend to prison for it.#and then bribed and perjured and also married his girlfriend so she'll help you cover it up. and to get back at him.#and then she has a kid and you're pretty sure it's your ex boyfriend's so you hate him. and beat him.#driving him to — what? vehicular patricide!#and then ur ex comes back 10 years later to get his revenge and drive your family into financial ruin and also possibly fuck you.#and your niece. maybe. and your governess; if she'll have him. and basically anyone else. the invitation is open liz.#and then your wife comes back from the sanitarium and tries to kill your son via fulfilling an ancient fiery ritual#so you decide to coparent with your ex and your governess after she dies. somehow this works and everyone settles down.#there's something very wrong with them <3 affectionate#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ re: burke devlin. ┊ I am stranded in a hungerland of great prosperity.#➤ roger collins & burke devlin. ┊ call me a sinner,mock me maliciously; I was your sleeplessness,I was your grief.
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if-you-fan-a-fire · 2 years
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“BEAT WIFE ON RETURN HOME,” Brantford Expositor. June 16, 1932. Page 15. ---- Hamilton Man's Stay in Penitentiary Did Not Cure Him ---- HAMILTON, Ont., June 16. - After an absence of many years, three of which were spent in the penitentiary, Alfred MacDonald returned home. He appeared in police court this morning on a charge of assaulting and beating his wife and was sentenced to a term of 30 days with seven lashes. His wife stated that he came into the house in an intoxicated condition and knocked an oil lamp from her hands. When she remonstrated, warning him of the danger of fire, he blackened her eye, she said. 
Convicted yesterday on a charge of bigamy, Annie Romonofski, alias Chipneck, Lancaster street, appeared for sentence this morning. She was placed on suspended sentence for a period of two years, warned to be of good conduct and to keep the peace and told to report to the probation officer monthly.
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starlightseraph · 8 months
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house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.
a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:
- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions
- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies
- chase kills an african dictator
- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient
- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.
- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots
- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest
- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.
- kutner dies for gay marriage
- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles
- house gets recruited by the cia
- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer
- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses
- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain
- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people
- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.
- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.
- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out
- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)
- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live
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blkkizzat · 2 months
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COME PUT THAT MILLI★N D★LLAR PU$$Y ON ME, MAKE ME RICH!
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FARMHAND!TOJI X BIMBOBUNNY!READER
☼ summary: au. a quiet farm life and a young pretty thing—what more could an ex-con want? you're a bit of a brat, but that can be fixed too. ☼ wc: 4.0k ☼ cw: age gap, panty flashing, voyeurism, brat!reader, fantasizing, spit play, biting, hickies, breeding kink, olfactophilia, teasing, perverted toji, morally ambiguous toji, creampies, squirting, unprotected, pet names: Bunny and standard p in v stuff. ☼ a/n: idk y'all farmhand!toji possessed my mind. literally did this all in tumblr drafts again today. Lets see if tumblr actually lets me post this or cucks me again.
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FarmHand!Toji who only got the job in the first place because of a prison rehabilitation program. It was either work on a farm or rot in a cell for another 2 years.
Toji chose the farm.
The work wasn't easy, but Toji couldn't complain. It was a very large farm, secluded and he was paid well—but most importantly?
It kept his fuckin' P.O. off his back.
Toji works on the farm for three grueling months until you, the farmer's niece, arrives for the summer to also work.
Well, 'work' wasn't really the right word, because you never did any thing of the sort.
Barely, 19 and kicked out of your house for smoking pot. Your parents sent you to your uncle, hoping the hard work and the ex-cons he had working for him would scare you straight. Additionally, due to the fact your Uncle had no wife and no kids, the sole owner of a large farm, the old bastard was pretty well off. As the only child of your dad, his only sibling, farm would eventually be left to you.
Everyone (not like you had a say) agreed you should know how to run it.
But the thing is—you suck at everything.
You're too flighty to work with the chickens, too prissy clean the pig cages and you'd complain you'd break a nail just from lifting an empty bucket—so milking cows were also out of the question.
Yet you still managed to get your work done.
Precisely cause you weren't the one doing it.
Aware of your youthful looks and charms, you don't hesitate to use them to your advantage.
Your shapely curves are always clad in some in a thin wispy dress, which would turn damn near see-through at the smallest bit of moisture. Wearing no bra and the tiniest of panties, you were always giving a show.
No you weren't scared of these ex-cons in the least bit.
Evident by the way you flounce around the farm, unabashfully, pretending to do the chores the women-starved prisoners were too eager to do for you.
For their efforts you reward them with smiles, blown kisses and sugary words. Sometimes for rewards came in the form of a peach you would sneak them from your uncle's grove.
Always bringing one for yourself you'd sensually bite into the ripen fruit. Allowing its juices to linger on your cherry-glossed lips and dribble down your chin—the slurping noises are the perfect fapping fodder for them.
Yet the best prize of all—and only if you were feeling particularly generous—a flash of panties.
Toji though had not fallen for your charms though.
Not that he wasn't susceptible to them, hell naw—he wanted to bend your pretty ass over the nearest fence and roughly fuck some decency, along with manners into your haughty lil' cunt.
But Toji, as well as any of the prisoners, knew better than to touch you. Not only were they risking their freedom, with even the slightest offense here was enough to send them back to the pen—they were also risking their lives.
Your uncle was no fool. The older man regularly carried a sawed off shotgun slung over his shoulder, which used to be a pistol before you arrived.
The farmer didn't make it a big announcement, simply reminding them it was prison or a grave if they fucked this opportunity up—but the underlying message was crystal clear:
He'd blow anyone to hell who even thought about touching his niece.
Oh, but Toji did think about touching you—alot.
Often staying up late in his shared bunk room—jerking his cock to a frilly pair of panties of yours he'd stolen off the laundry line—once he was sure the others had gone to bed.
Toji wants to teach you a lesson badly.
Not for your benefit though, it be payback for all your goddamn teasing.
Toji isn't a pushover for you.
Nicknaming you 'Bunny' since you were such a clumsy lil ditz. He often made his silly lil bunny do whatever work he was stationed at when you had chores there—yours and his.
And oh, you hated that. You only tried harder when none of your pouts, provocations and seductions move him. It was pure hell, but Toji had resisted every trick you had. An unintended benefit however, was that he'd likely seen every pair of panties you owned by now (which is why he had stolen his favorite).
At one point, when you were particularly annoying one day, Toji even tried straight up ignoring you.
Yet that didn't work either.
You only upped the ante, 'accidentally' spilling a whole bucket of cow's milk on yourself. The very color of your perky nips are clearly visible, poking through the now transparent fabric which clings to you like second skin.
Staring Toji dead in his eyes, a coy smile on your plump lips as your pink manicured nails rubbed circles over your soaked nubs.
It took everything Toji had in him that day not to force you down to the dirt floor, fucking your pussy open just as hard and flithy as you'd been asking for.
Turning away from you, he threw a hay laden blanket over you and told you to go back up to the house n' clean up.
Toji didn't miss how badly you pouted, even though he pretended not to care. You reluctantly listened to him, leaving the barn and back to the main house up the hill.
You were both playing with fire.
Yet from that point something broke in Toji.
He still never crosses the line to touching you, but he'd starts pushing your buttons.
He wants to rile you up just as you had him.
As a result, Toji is working around you without a shirt more often—sometimes even with a raging hard on in full view. Also he doesn't hold back any longer from any of the vulgar thoughts of you that cross his mind. Regularly vocalizing them with a smirk, making overtly perverted comments towards you.
This was even something the other prisoners were too pussy to do to, given the very real threats of your farmer uncle.
Yet Toji wouldn't be a two-time ex-con he is if he didn't mind gambling with his life for a big reward. Toji relishes in your flustered, indignant reactions, loving to see how your face heats up everytime without fail every time he teases his lil' slut, his sultry voice whispering things like:
"I bet y'er cunt is riper than those peaches, Bunny."
"Bunny—think your pretty pussy can squirt more milk than these cow udders?"
"I wonder if my lil' Bunny can actually ride dick, since she's not half bad on a horse?"
You'd call him a 'perverted old man' like you weren't anything more than just a causal cocktease yourself—obviously you get some sick satisfaction knowing you had every man on this farm but Toji at your beck and call.
In reality, you were just as twisted in nature as him.
Still you were stubborn.
And as retaliation for his resistance, you play all manners of pranks on Toji. Doing anything you could so it was harder for him to do his job—from stealing his work gloves, boots and tools—to more serious ones like letting a weasel loose in the chicken coop when it was his shift to collect the eggs.
You deemed it your right to punish him for teasing you, for not becoming one of your simps and most fiendish of all?
Making you actually do work.
You harass him so often, it's not long before Toji realizes you're seeking him out intentionally.
Not even bothering to visit the other workstations where your chores are, they would get done by your lil'fan boys regardless, in favor of following him around all day like a lost lil' chick.
On a particularly hot n' sweltering summer day, Toji is stuck with the job of moving machinery from one side of the farm to the other when the sun is at its highest.
Like usual, he's since removed his sweat-drenched work shirt—remaining only in unhooked overalls and his briefs.
Toji hasn't seen you though, which isn't surprising given how broiling it is outside. Someone with as delicate a disposition as you, who also happened to be as manipulative, probably convinced your uncle to let you laze around inside the house, away from the heat—and Toji.
But you were a needy little thing, always seeking attention. Toji occupies his thoughts for most of the morning imagining you growing so bored, not having him to harass and all day.
With idle hands and absolutely nothing else to do, you'd start playing with that plump lil' pussy of yours, wouldn't you?
A supple girl like you had to overflow like a dam. Toji would bet money you'd already be wet enough, even untouched, to drench his fingers—just from palming your ripe pussy in his hand.
He wouldn't mind taking more than a sip of you on a miserable day like this to quench his thirst.
Continuing his work (and lewd thoughts of you) until his break, Toji discovers he's misplaced his work shirt.
Searching for it in the heat proves annoying—it's not on the grazing pasture fences, nor in the workshed by the machines. Tsk, he swore he had taken it with him to his last station near the horses.
Passing by the cow barn, Toji hasn't had a shift in there today but he absentmindedly remembers there's was a water hose in there. He could at least cool off for the remainder of his break—maybe even rub one out to you.
However, upon sliding open the Toji's smirk grows almost bigger than the hefty cock in his pants.
Looks like he hit the jackpot, today.
There you were in the middle the of the barn, on your back in the hay, thin dress bunched up past your hips and panties dangling off one of your shapely legs—all while feverishly fingering your fat wet lil' cunt.
You salaciously had even dripped a dark sizeable puddle on the dusty floor beneath you.
But the cherry on top?
You're quite shamelessly moaning out cries of his name, uncaring of who could happen to passby and hear you.
'T-Toji!'
'T-Toji, fuck me harder, Daddy!'
All while your pretty angelic face is twisted in pleasure, eyes closed and nose buried deep in the fabric of his soiled work shirt.
Daddy? Oh how fucking filthy of you—God you were perfect slut, just his fuckin' type.
Solely focused on cumming, your hips thrust up desperately to meet your fingers as he stalks closer to you—looking every bit of the predatory ex-convict he is.
"Well, well look at what we got ourselves here doll....n'here I thought the only degenerates on this farm were us prisoners?"
Your eyes widen in shock, but you don't stop your fingers right away. You were so close to your release before Toji suddenly appeared in front of you, there's no way you could physically stop chasing it now.
Not when it only takes a lingering glance at his dark features, muscular tanned sweat slick body, and the painfully obvious way his dick jumps in his pants to have you falling over the edge. You gush, mewling as you cream around your delicate lil' fingers.
"You've been a very naughty lil' bunny..."
Sheepishly pulling them out, covered in your slick, Toji's eyes zero in on the way your hole still gapes open. You're cunt quite literally throbbing for more, you'd cum but she's still left unsated.
You clearly needed something much bigger and harder than your flimsy little digits.
You unconsciously back up deeper into the bushels of hay around, putting distance between you as Toji gets closer.
"Tsk, tsk, nuh-uh Bunny, none of that shit. Not when I just caught you being such a whore for me."
You gulp, your heart racing as he crouches over you. Toji removes his work gloves, discarding them as he forces you to lay back on the soft hay.
“How sweet of you to prep yourself for me babydoll. But, Bunny, you dumb little girl, you’re too careless. What if it wasn’t me who walked in 'ere and saw you playing with my pussy?”
You didn't think of that, when you had so brazenly snuck up without him noticing to nab his work shirt.
Initially, you wanted to just be annoying to him again, too bored of being in the house all morning. At first you recoiled when you touched his soggy shirt, yet that all flipped once you caught of whiff of his scent.
Toji smelled of a farm but somehow that smell mixed with sweat, musk and notes of his aftershave hit you straight in your cunt. Your panties becoming just as drenched as the shirt in your hands.
You didn't realize Toji, grimy from farm work, could still smell so good.
Knowing it was far past the time for anyone to come milk cows, you headed straight to that barn. You just wanted some alone time, where you'd be free to touch yourself while thinking of the ridiculously sexy ex-con farmhand.
To say Toji had been plaguing your thoughts and dreams for the past few weeks would have been a massive understatement. You were obsessed with him. Him and his irritatingly smug expression, accentuated by his scar that made him appear all the more dangerous—you wanted him to fuck you—your uncles warnings be damned.
"You tryna get me to do more time, girl? Ya know Bunny, I'd kill anyone who touched you, if your uncle didn't get to 'em first."
Your face is hot with embarrassment but your cunt is also burning up—thinking you might die if he doesn’t actually touch you soon.
Letting his coveralls drop unceremoniously to the floor, he shrugs off his remaining clothes.
Toji's calloused hands, smudged with oil and grime, grab your hips and yank you to him. You yelp and his cock twitches even harder at your cute lil noises, smearing pre on your already soaked thighs.
Toji presses his sweaty body onto yours. It's cool in the barn but Toji's heat is so intense you feel like you are out in the sun again. Having him on top of you like this finally is overwhelming your senses. Toji is intoxicating and you're so feral with need for him it makes you dizzier than a heatstroke.
Fuck, you looked so ready for him.
He'd love you take his time to really break you in—make you fall apart until he's screwed every word out of your head but his own name.
Tch—but there's about 10 more minutes left of his break—and a good 15 or so more after that before anyone notices he's not where he should be.
Toji would reluctantly have to make this quick. Snatching your dress off overhead, he tosses it across the barn.
Mouth latching to one of your stiffened nipples, Toji simultaneously bullies his cockhead past your entrance, sinking into your slippery cunt.
Both of your collective groans fill the barn.
Goddamn, you're fuckin' tight.
Your eyes go wide and moisture pricks your vision as the sting of his girthy cock splitting you open nearly brakes you. You weren't a virgin by any means, and you knew Toji was huge—but shit—it was way bigger in thickness and length than you could have imagined.
Toji has to physically take your legs and wrap them around his body so they stop convulsing.
You whine for him to wait a moment but he couldn't—he didn't have the time.
Toji cups your face, unintentionally smearing dirt across your warm pristine lil' cheek.
"Daddy doesn't have time to wait for ya Bunny, can't get caught by y'er mean ole uncle, yeah?"
"*sniffs* I-I know, b-but—"
"No buts, baby—you want me to fuck ya, rite? Then just lay back and be good doll—promise I'll make ya feel good, eh?"
You can't stop the tears that roll down your cheeks, the burning still evident in your cunt as your walls spasm around him. Toji nuzzles your neck, grunts fanning across your sweetly scented skin as he begins moving his hips.
Soon the sounds of wet flesh smacking, resound in the barn with every harsh thrust of Toji's broad hips. The sloppy squelching noises your pussy cries out has Toji feeling like she's talking directly to him.
Sweat drips off his brow and onto your face as he pulls back a bit to see just how well your slutty lil' hole is globbling him right up—you already frothing a ring of cream around his base like such a good girl—like you were made to take his dick.
Your teeth bite into his shoulder and your nails rake red streaks across his back when his fat cockhead brushes against your g-spot.
Instantly, the shocks vibrating in your cunt overtake any remaining discomfort from your pussy accommodating his massive cock. Your tiddies bounce violently whe he picks up speed rocking into your cunt—spurred on by your cute bites gnawing into him.
Toji would mark you up similarly.
God you were so fuckin' wet though, milking him so well.
For all the trouble you gave him your lil' pussy was obedient as hell once she got a lil' dick in her.
"T-Tojiiiii, puh-leaseee k-kiss me, Daddy!"
Slurring, you gaze up at him, eyes blown out in pleasure begging for more of him—for anything he'd give you.
"Yeah, baby, Bunny wants Daddy to kiss her, hm?"
You frantically nod, your whole body is tingling. You just want to feel him consume you completely, all parts of you.
"Heh, of course I'll kiss my lil' bunny—only if ya let me cum ya—m-motherfuck—ya know how long its been since I had pussy this good doll? Gotta cum in 'er."
Mewling under him, you're easily left at his mercy—yet Toji would show you none, devouring you just as greedily as you wanted him to. Your body responds so well to his praises, so needy for them and Toji doesn't mind indulging you when you're being this sweet for him.
Throwing your legs onto his shoulders, Toji raises your ass off the hay onto his knees as he folds your body in half—fucking into you deeper, abusing your cervix as he smashed his lips onto yours.
Truthfully, there's no way in hell Toji would pull out now.
Making the decision for you, the kiss Toji gives you is searing hot. Sucking on your tongue, Toji has you melting you completely under him, your pussy clamping harder around him. His deviant tongue and heavy cock fucking you into submission.
Hell, she was begging him to cum in her even if you weren't or couldn't—you looked absolutely gone—like not even the smallest thought lived in your fucked out lil' head.
Even when Toji pulls back to allow you air his lips never leave yours, biting your kiss swollen bottom lip almost to the point of drawing blood.
You tighten even more than Toji thought possible in the moment once he forced your mouth open and spits into it and your instantly swallowing it—sticking your tongue out for more.
Oh? Bunny becomes such a dirty whore once you're fucking her silly, eh?
Toji wonders what else of his you'd swallow. He'd save that for next time though.
For now Toji had to finish you, he was running out of time. Besides, he was speaking true earlier, he really hadn't had good pussy—pussy at all—in literal fuckin' years. Toji didn't think he could last much longer in a hole with as much wet suction as yours, even if he did have more time.
Slipping a hand between your slick bodies, Toji is now furiously thumbing circles on your sensitive clit.
"C'mon, Bunny baby, cum for Daddy, yeah? Squirt on this dick, just like you did your fingers earlier, doll."
Your body, utterly under the spell of his engorged cock which was currently digging into your kidneys, can't do anything but obey him.
Tumbling over your peak, you do as he asks, splashing fluids onto his pelvis, abs and chest with how much squirt he has gushing out of you.
Your head lulls back and Toji has to clasp his hand over your mouth from how loud you started screaming.
His own release follows soon after. Pumping his extra-thick load, all built up and saved over the years for a pussy as sweet as yours, into your well-fucked-open cunt.
Curses and swears pour out of Toji's mouth as remains side you, still pistoning in you with fervor through both your orgasms. Toji doesn't leave the snug warmth of your gooey core until you squeezed out every single drop he had to give you.
Pulling out, Toji immediately rolls over next to you as not to crush you further. Yet, like a magnet, his needy lil' bunny is curling up against his side, a sleepy sated expression on your angelic face.
Toji hated to leave, but he had to haul ass now if he wasn't gonna get caught.
A crude form of aftercare, but Toji hoses the both of you down.
The cold water snapping you from your lethargic afterglow immediately as you pouted and whined—the brat in you almost instantly returning.
But Toji couldn't just let you sleep ass naked, covered in his cum in the hay for your uncle to find you or worse—another prisoner to find you.
Toji was serious. He really would kill someone if they tried anything with you, he'd taken many innocent lives before as a former hitman—he had no qualms killing some no good convicts.
Setting you upright, Toji finds your dress in the hay and puts it on you. It's soiled and dusty but he straightens it enough so you're at least halfway presentable.
Toji knows you're clever enough to think of a lie if questioned further.
Although, you'd better back to the main house quickly, in case those hickies he gave you start showing up. Toji smirks to himself.
Sending you on your way with quick sloppy kiss and a firm smack on the ass, he lets you leave first.
After waiting a few minutes, Toji exits the barn, grinning devilishly upon seeing you.
You're halfway back up the hill to the house by now, but you still steal glances back at him every few paces. Still panting, you're too shy now to meet his own eyes for longer than a second with your coy smiles.
Toji chuckles.
He had you hooked.
Hah, a slut like you? You'd probably be begging for his cock all throughout the day from now on.
However, Toji knows if he keeps fucking you like this he'll soon get you pregnant.
But ya know? That might not be half bad though.
This simple farm life had been a nice change of pace.
And who wouldn't want a young n' tender cunt like yours to dump in daily? Toji would keep you stuffed full, belly round with his kids and soft tiddies full of milk—for his consumption only.
Toji muses once he had finished fucking the brat out of you, Bunny, you'd become the perfect lil' wifey.
It be good for Megumi to have a mom again and some siblings to keep em busy. Toji would finally have a decent place to raise him too, away from the city and his toxic as fuck family who'd Megumi had been with since the first time his dad got locked in the slammer.
Not to mention—the farm was a perfect cover for his con activities that he couldn't wait to back start up.
He'd only able to do so much with the burner phone Shiu smuggled-in for him, concealing in a shipment of animal feed.
Heh.
All Toji needed now was to knock you up, apply pressure on your strict, God-fearing parents to agree to the marriage, and then orchestrate an 'untimely and unfortunate accident' for your uncle. Thereby leaving the farm and the substantial inheritance to you—and by proxy—to him.
Yeah, FarmHand!Toji planned to become Farmer!Toji real soon.
©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
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☼ a/n: y'all toji be making me write the most twisted nastiest things for him. i realize soft toji just don't do it for me like depraved toxic morally corrupt toji does, i really would let this man ruin my credit fr y'all, he can have it all.
i didn't expect to write this, all in a day but im at the beck and call of my main mans. otaku!gojo and nerd!gero lovers dun hurt me. taglist in reblogs.
☼ comments and reblogs appreciated ‪‪❤︎‬
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e-vasong · 19 days
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being a devils minion fan is insane because it is canon and also there is nothing about it thats explicable to people who havent watched the show. like what am i supposed to say?
yeah. so i ship "the vampire armand" and sometimes-twink, sometimes-old man journalist daniel molloy. yeah so what happened is that armands husband (who is still hung up on his ex) picked daniel up in a bar to murder him. except he was genuinely charmed and intrigued by daniel, and so this led to a fight severe enough that it almost caused them to acquire a Vampire Divorce. and armand was so consumed by jealousy that he kept daniel prisoner in their apartment for a week and played saw games with him. he only spared daniel because his husband interfered. then they didnt interact for fifty years, until daniel came back into armands life, exposed all his crimes, and destroyed his marriage. unless they DID interact during those fifty years, because its a moderately likely possibility that armand actually played a psychological torture game with daniel over the course of a decade, in which he made daniel run around the world so armand could catch him then release him and then start the process all over again. yeah no. his plan was that he would just kill daniel when he got bored of the game, except he fell in love with daniel instead and mightve wiped daniels memories of the entire thing. IF that happened. which it might not have. but it seems like it did. and also he might be daniels first wife. yeah. i know.
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bunnys-kisses · 5 months
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jailbird (3)
prisoner!simon "ghost" riley
the series master-list
cw: (former) prisoner!simon, civilian!reader, smut & fluff, dom!reader, sub!simon, gentle sex, size kink, pregnant!reader, wife kink
bunny says: like the fic? leave a comment! really like the fic? suggest your own!
you rubbed your back as you cooked up some breakfast. you then yawned into you fist. it was hard giving up coffee for the sake of your unborn baby, but simon promised that when your son was born, he'd buy you the fanciest coffee at the supermarket.
it had been over a year since simon got out of prison, and now you two were expecting your first child. right now he was the size of an avocado and simon couldn't help but put his hands on the small bump.
"mornin', love." he said as he came up behind you and his hands on the bump. his hair was a mess and his large tattoos hands were on your hips, "bacon for me?"
"it's turkey bacon. less fat." you reminded him.
he grumbled, "not as good." then leaned in to kiss you on the cheek, "how did you sleep." his hands linked under your bump as he held it gently.
you flipped the bacon and focused your attention on the eggs in another pan. you felt a shift of your child in your womb, "it was alright. i think i'm getting used to your snoring."
he kissed you again and grumbled, "i'm sorry."
you chuckled, "I don't mind. either you've gotten quieter or i'm just used to it." you tilted your head up and kissed him on the lips briefly, "if you can get the toast ready that would be great."
"anythin' for ya." he said as he pulled away and went to make some toast for the both of you. it was domestic, it was quiet. a woman and her much larger, tattooed ex-convict of a boyfriend.
-
simon called you his wife often, despite never actually being married. you didn't mind it. you shared a home were building a family, but you often wondered if you would ever get married. you were never keen on a huge celebration, but something would be nice. regardless you were his missus.
regardless of your pregnant size, he handled you with ease. there were times where he'd simply guide your hips as you rode him. he was he one in control. you held onto him and moaned as you felt his cock press up into you.
"beautiful wife." he smirked as he kissed your face.
you wondered if it was possible for to control the pace. to have your boyfriend give up control and let you work his body? while your bdsm together was short lived, he stopped any rough play when you announced you were pregnant, you wondered if the roles could be reversed? the tiny girlfriend in control of her beefy, scary boyfriend.
it was a rather arousing thought. to watch simon squirm while you made sure he was taken care of. it didn't have to be vicious or rough, which would make simon happy (for your sake), but tender and slow. you rubbed your thighs together while seated at your work desk, you had to focus on work! not on your boyfriend's cock inside of you.
you leaned back in your desk chair and rubbed your swollen middle as you gazed at the spreadsheet you had been working on. simon gave you the gift of your first born child, you believed it was time to repay him for it.
-
"simon." you said as you were curled up with him on the couch. simon's head was in your lap and his legs were hanging off the couch. you were running your fingers through his short blond hair.
"yeah, love." he said.
"i want to ask you about something."
he lifted his head and looked at you, he looked at your curiously. for a brief moment he was worried that he had done something wrong. but a closer study of your face revealed that you weren't upset with him, which settled him down. he simply said with a kiss on your bump, "ask away."
"i was wondering, if maybe... i can take charge when we have sex? just for tonight. i know you like being in charge, but i thought it could spice things up with anything too intense."
he said gruffly, "i don't want ya puttin' strain on yourself." as his broad hand rubbed your middle, "worried you'll get tired out."
you reached down and cupped his face, "well, then if i get tired then you can take over... it wouldn't hurt to try." you smiled, "i think it'll be fun."
simon learned very early on that he could never say no to his girl. he simply pressed his cheek back on your bump and rubbed it. he said, "alright, but don't push yourself too hard."
he lingered closely during dinner, his hands on your hips as he watched you make dinner. he was in charge of chopping vegetables, but when he wasn't, his hands were on you. he wanted to be close to his wife.
even though very few thought of him as a gentleman, the way he sat you down on the couch after dinner so he could wash the dishes of your dinner left you feeling pink.
when he came back to you however, he held out his hand. you took it and he helped you up off the couch. he stared down at you for a moment and you reached out for him. you framed his face in your hands and leaned up to kiss him.
"i'm fine."
once in the bedroom, he marveled at your body as you started to undress. he shirt was already off as he sat at the edge of the bed, ready to help you if you needed it. but you shooed his hands away. he admired the slope of your pregnant belly and the heaviness of your breasts. you had a figure his admired, a lil pregnancy fat to keep you and the babe warm.
"you're staring."
"can't i?" he asked, "i made you this way. my girl carryin' my kid. i think you look hotter now than before." he smiled.
you gave him a look as you got your underwear off, you stood there in front of him, naked with your hands at your hips. you said, "so you're into milfs?"
he shrugged, "only when i'm the ones who 'em a mama." he reached out for you and you went into his arms. he pressed his face against your bump and sighed, his cock twitched in his pants.
you petted his soft hair and felt him place kisses against your swollen middle. he had taken to being a father the way a fish takes to swimming. after a little worship to your belly, you nudged him at his shoulders.
"lie down."
he looked up at you and laid down. he watched you work as you got his pants and underwear off. his cock stood at full attention and you could already feel the heft of it inside of you. it made your stomach flutter.
there laid your convict boyfriend, the man who was in prison for some time. he was laid out on the bed you shared while you tried to straddle his waist. he made you his girl, and you made him a better man.
"gonna be comfy like that?"
"this is about you, simon." you tapped his nose, "the goal is to make you cum." then trailed your finger down his neck and across his chest that was littered with tattoos.
he held onto your hand and placed it on his cheek, "i know... but i still want you to have a good time, love." he kissed your wrist before he placed both hands on your hips.
"hey!" you smacked his hand away, "my job."
"sorry." he said softly. he was a hardened man, he often scared people. but with you, he was so supportive and loving. he adored you the way plants adored the sun.
he watched you with careful eyes, they felt heated on your warm flesh as you tried to move yourself (with the bump not helping). it took everything in him not to do it himself. but he had to trust you.
you slowly sank on his cock and pressed your chin to your chest as you exhaled deeply. you noticed that simon was holding onto the covers tighter. you said softly, "trust me."
"yes, love." he said softly, he tensed up when you started to roll your hips. you hand one hand on his chest for leverage and the other on your swollen middle as you moved your hips against him.,
"holy shit, love." he groaned.
"see, a wife knows how to please her husband." you replied before you smacked his hands away from you, "no. stay still." there was a bit of a command to your tone.
he liked it.
he continued to hold the sheets as you moved up and down on his length. his breathing got heavy as you started to really put work into riding his cock. he watched your breasts and belly bounce like a hypnotized man.
he made you this way. he never thought when he was in prison that he'd have a woman in his life that was carrying his child. he watched to reach out and worship your bump. but for the time being he'd just have to play the thoughts over in his head.
part of him wondered if he was still a bad man. maybe there should've been more time between when you met in person and your pregnancy. but you were happy. happy with him, of your situation.
he tried to move but you kept him pinned by the shoulders. you were without words as you rode him, all you could do was shake your head. he groaned and leaned back into the bed.
"please, love. let me touch you. i want to touch my wife." he was almost begging.
you pushed hair out of your hair and looked down at him. your hands were on his shoulders to give yourself more leverage. you moaned, "okay... but be good."
quickly his hands were on your hips and he rubbed your love handles. you felt so good under his touch, it made his brain buzz. what the hell did he do to deserve an angel such as yourself.
"like it, simon?"
he nodded, "you're doing great. my girl." his voice was practically a purr.
you continued to ride him. you felt hot all over but you held onto him. you tried to be sexy about your thrusts. but the burn in your soul to get to climax forced you to bounce on his cock.
simon's eyes were transfixed on your body as it moved. his cock ached, as did his balls. he bred you so good, he didn't know what he did in a previous life to deserve this.
warmth pumped through your bodies as you fucked. it felt so good, and the angle made your core ache. it wasn't long before you felt the curl of orgasm in your gut.
you placed his hands and yours on your bump as you moved on his cock. your moans filled the air of your bedroom. your mind became hazy and your thrusts were disorganized. you came first by holding his hands, your cunt clenched around his cock. and as you continued to ride him until he finished as well.
"shit."
"simon."
he laid sprawled out next to you for a moment to catch his breath. by the time he calmed down, he pulled you into his arms and kissed your face. he could feel your bare belly bump up against his abdomen. he felt relaxed against you.
he said quietly, as he assumed that you were dozing off in the after glow of pleasure, "you'll get your ring soon. just gotta find the right time to pop the question." his voice was a low rumble.
but you were still awake and safe in his arms. when he mentioned a ring your heart skipped a beat. you stayed still for a moment and let him bask in your love. soon you'd be his wife, for real.
the question was, where was the ring? <3
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saintofpride201 · 2 years
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What are the legalities behind getting a restraining order calling for the offending party to stay a certain amount of feet away, but intentionally violating it as the one who called for the order?
I'd ask Google but I'm horrible at wording these things in search engines.
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The Imperfect Couple - 7
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Character: politician!Bucky x ex-wife!reader
Summary: A separated couple must pretend to be happily married while the husband runs for Vice President, dealing with old issues and political pressures during his election campaign.
Warning: The couple's arguments could be triggering.
Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , -
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Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
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Bucky’s gut had been gnawing at him for weeks, a familiar, nagging feeling whenever Ian was around. Something about the man didn’t sit right, and Bucky couldn’t shake the sense that he’d seen this behavior before. His instincts kicked in, and he ordered someone to dig deeper into Ian’s past.
The brown envelope arrived the next day. Bucky sat at his desk, his eyes narrowing as he tore it open. Inside were the results of the investigation—pages that painted a much darker picture than he’d anticipated. As he skimmed the documents, his jaw clenched, and a low curse escaped his lips, “Shit.”
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The next day, you and Bucky arrived at a shelter for single mothers, a stop on the campaign trail. The women inside had experienced hardships most people couldn’t imagine, fleeing from abusive partners and trying to rebuild their lives. Their stories of survival hung in the air, unspoken but palpable in their tired eyes and wary smiles.
You moved through the room, serving food and making small talk with the women, trying your best to offer some comfort. As you handed a plate to one woman, you said softly, “I understand what kind of psychological torment you’ve been through. I hope you stay strong.”
The moment the words left your mouth, what you’d meant as a word of encouragement didn’t land the way you’d hoped.
Later that night, a video of the conversation went viral. It was clear someone had recorded the interaction and released it online. Bucky knew this had to be the work of his opponents, seizing the opportunity to discredit you—and by extension, him.
You watched the video, feeling a pit form in your stomach as the comments poured in:
"Stay strong? She doesn’t seem like someone who’s ever been through what we have."
"She wouldn’t understand. She lives in a happy home. How could she possibly know what it’s like to run from someone who’s supposed to love you?"
Their words cut deep, slicing through your carefully constructed image. They didn’t know the truth—that your marriage to Bucky was its own kind of prison. Pretending to be the perfect wife had taken a toll on you, but no one saw behind the curtain.
You froze, feeling exposed, as if they’d somehow sensed the cracks in your façade. You had become so good at lying, at convincing the world that you and Bucky were happy, that now, faced with these women who had lived through real pain, you felt like a fraud.
Furthermore, you wanted to tell them that you understood, that you too had felt trapped and powerless. But the words stuck in your throat. Instead, you smiled for the cameras, playing your part, knowing that your life was being documented as an example of “happiness.”
Then your eyes landed on a comment that sent you reeling:
"If they’re so happy, wouldn’t they have a kid by now?"
The question hung in the air, mocking you. They didn’t know the truth—how could they? And yet, their words seemed to pierce through the mask you’d been wearing for so long.
🌸🌸🌸🌸
The silence between you and Bucky was heavy, almost suffocating. You hadn’t said much since the shelter incident, and Bucky could sense your stress in the way you barely touched your food or drank any water. You sat at the dining table, staring blankly at the untouched plate in front of you.
Bucky watched you for a moment before stepping closer, his brow furrowing with concern. He gently touched your forehead, his fingers warm against your skin.
“You have a fever,” he said, his voice low with worry.
You immediately pulled away from his hand, your body instinctively recoiling. Your stress had a way of manifesting physically, and whenever you were overwhelmed, your body shut down. This was no different.
“Don’t touch me,” you muttered, your voice hollow.
Bucky’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t argue. He knew this would happen, knew how your body responded when you were pushed too far. Without a word, he slipped his arm around you, supporting you as he guided you toward your room. You didn’t resist, too tired to fight.
“Just leave,” you said once you reached your room, your voice barely above a whisper.
But Bucky ignored your words. He sat you down on the edge of the bed, gently lifting your feet into his lap. You stiffened in surprise as his hands began to massage your aching feet. The familiarity of the gesture caught you off guard—he used to do this all the time when you were together, especially on nights when you came home exhausted, too tired to even think.
Your face grew warmer, though not just because of the fever. The tension between the two of you was palpable, a mix of unresolved emotions and unspoken words hanging in the air. Bucky’s touch, once comforting, now felt like it held the weight of all the things left unsaid.
“I’ll bring the medicine,�� he said after a few moments, his voice softer now.
You didn’t respond, too lost in the swirl of emotions flooding your mind. The way his hands moved, the care in his touch—it was all too familiar. It made your chest tighten with memories of when things weren’t this complicated.
As Bucky stood to leave, you finally spoke, your voice quiet and raw. “Why are you doing this?”
He paused, turning back to face you. “Because I care. I always do” His eyes searched yours, and for a moment, it was as if the walls you’d built between you both cracked, if only just a little.
You didn’t respond, not knowing what to say. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy as the exhaustion of the day and the fever pulled at you. Bucky noticed, his eyes softening. Without another word, he pulled the blanket over you and quietly left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
You lay there, your mind racing despite your body’s exhaustion. His touch, his words, they lingered long after he’d gone. You hated that he still had this effect on you. And yet, deep down, there was a part of you that wanted to believe him, wanted to let your guard down. But after everything, how could you?
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You woke up, feeling the weight of exhaustion still clinging to your limbs, but something was different. The fever that had clouded your mind the night before was gone, leaving you with a sense of relief. Slowly, you sat up, glancing around the room. Bucky wasn’t here. It was the first time you’d been alone in the apartment since arriving.
The quietness felt strange, almost eerie. For a moment, you simply sat there, trying to shake the grogginess from your mind. Eventually, curiosity got the better of you, and you decided to explore the space. The apartment was large, meticulously designed, but there was a personal touch to it that reflected both of you. You wandered through the rooms until you stopped at his office.
The door creaked slightly as you pushed it open. His office was a mess—papers and law books were scattered across the desk and shelves, as if he’d been too busy to organize anything. But something caught your eye, an area that was surprisingly tidy amidst the chaos: his vinyl collection. It was neatly arranged, displayed with care, each record in perfect order.
Bucky loved collecting vinyls. You remembered that about him. As you approached the collection, your eyes scanned the spines of the records. Most of them were from artists both of you used to listen to. Your fingers grazed over the albums, a nostalgic pang in your chest.
Then, something unusual caught your attention. Tucked between the vinyl sleeves was a piece of paper, slightly worn. Frowning, you pulled it out and realized it wasn’t just any paper—it was a letter.
You stared at the handwriting, your heart skipping a beat. It was Bucky’s handwriting. Slowly, your eyes widened as recognition dawned on you. It was a letter he never sent. A letter to you.
Your pulse quickened as a rush of emotions hit you. Should you open it? Guilt twisted in your stomach, but then that familiar voice—the devil on your shoulder—spoke louder. He wrote this for you. He never sent it, but it’s yours.
Before you could second-guess yourself, you quickly hid the letter under your shirt, glancing around the office as if someone might walk in at any moment. Your heart raced as you hurried back to your room, the letter burning against your skin like a secret you weren’t supposed to know.
Once in the safety of your room, you sat on the bed, staring at the letter in your hands. The room felt smaller, your breaths shallow. Was this right? Should you be reading this? But you couldn’t stop yourself.
With trembling fingers, you opened the first letter.
It was short, written in Bucky’s familiar scrawl.
"I’m sorry. I know everything we went through must have been painful for you, more than I ever realized at the time. We were close, but we never truly communicated. I knew you were hurting, and I did nothing to stop it. That’s my fault. I’m the one to blame.
One day, if we ever meet again, I hope you’ll give me another chance. You deserve happiness, and I wish you the best of luck in finding it, even if it’s not with me."
You blinked, feeling a lump form in your throat. You hadn’t expected this. An apology. Words you thought you’d never hear—or read—from him. Your hands shook as you carefully unfolded another letter.
"I read your article. It’s really good. I always knew you’d make a great writer. You’ve always had a way with words. I’m proud of you. I hope you have a safe journey."
The words blurred for a moment as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You never knew he was following your work, that he cared enough to read what you wrote. It felt like a secret window into a part of him you thought had closed off to you long ago.
With a deep breath, you opened the final letter, bracing yourself.
"I’m worried about you. Going to a war zone as a journalist—it’s dangerous, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Please be careful. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I pray every day that you’re safe."
Your chest tightened as you finished reading, the rawness of his words washing over you. Bucky had been worried about you all this time. His concern, his pride—it was all there, hidden in these letters you were never supposed to find. And yet, here you were, holding the pieces of his heart in your hands.
It was overwhelming. You didn’t know how to feel—angry, confused, touched. All you knew was that the walls you had built to protect yourself were starting to crack, and you weren’t sure if you could put them back together.
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You and Bucky met Greg again to prepare before heading to the TV station for the debate. Greg, always thinking ahead, was pacing as he went over the final details. His sharp gaze darted between you and Bucky, trying to ensure everything would go smoothly.
As the minutes ticked by, Greg suddenly paused, his face lighting up with an idea. "Perhaps," he suggested, "before Bucky heads out for the debate, you could give him a peck on the cheek. You know, for the cameras. A little show of affection can go a long way."
You hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, your expression neutral. "Okay," you agreed simply. The decision seemed easy enough—just a small gesture for the public eye. However, from the corner of your eye, you noticed Bucky’s brow arch slightly, a glint of surprise crossing his features.
Bucky glanced at you, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "How about a kiss on the lips instead?"
You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your exasperation. "Shut up," you muttered, though the warmth of the moment lingered between you. Bucky chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the brief banter as Greg scribbled down notes, already planning how to work this into the media strategy.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
The day of the debate finally arrived. The room buzzed with tension as cameras were positioned, reporters whispered amongst themselves, and the stage was set. You stood backstage with Bucky, watching as the other candidates made their entrances. Edgar, running for president, was calm and composed, the very image of a seasoned politician.
Then there was Brock, another candidate for vice president—and Bucky’s long-time rival. The two had been at odds for years, their competition fierce and personal. The air between them crackled with animosity as they took their places.
As the debate began, the moderators threw sharp, pointed questions at the candidates, each probing their policies and character. Bucky was in his element, answering each question with practiced ease. His words were clear, his tone confident, and his delivery flawless. Every question thrown at him was met with a precise, well-thought-out response.
Moderator: "Mr. Barnes, what would be your first priority in office?"
Bucky: "My first priority is to address healthcare. Ensuring affordable and accessible healthcare is the cornerstone of a strong nation. We must invest in preventive care and make it easier for families to access the support they need."
The audience nodded in agreement, and even the other candidates seemed to respect his answer. Brock, however, was struggling. Every time he tried to match Bucky’s eloquence, he stumbled, his frustration mounting with each failed attempt to make a point.
Moderator: "Mr. Rumlow, what is your stance on education reform?"
Brock: "Well, uh, we need to… to invest in schools, yes, but we can’t just throw money at the problem. We need accountability, and we need… um, better results."
His answer lacked the conviction and clarity that Bucky’s did, and you could see the frustration in Brock’s face as the debate went on.
The tension between the two men simmered, especially as Bucky continued to outshine him with every answer. But just when it seemed like Bucky had the upper hand, Brock saw an opening—and took it.
At the height of the debate, Brock's voice cut through the air, sharp and malicious. "You talk a lot about honesty and integrity, Barnes. But what about your brother? Didn’t he hit someone and never face any punishment?"
The room fell silent, a heavy, uncomfortable stillness filling the space. From your spot backstage, you could feel the tension roll off Bucky in waves. His muscles tensed beside you, his jaw clenched tight. This was his darkest family secret, one he’d hoped to keep buried. But now, here it was, dragged into the spotlight in front of a national audience.
Bucky’s hands curled into fists at his sides, his eyes narrowing as he shot Brock a cold, hard glare. For a moment, it looked like Bucky might lose his composure. The silence stretched on, the entire room holding its breath, waiting for his response.
But then, with a deep breath, Bucky straightened, his voice steady but laced with restrained anger. "My brother's actions were reprehensible, and there is no excuse for them. But unlike my opponent, I believe in accountability—and my family has taken steps to address that privately. This debate is about the future of this country, not digging up personal attacks to avoid talking about real issues."
The room shifted as Bucky’s calm yet pointed response cut through the tension. Brock, visibly thrown by how easily Bucky had deflected his attack, fumbled for his next words, but the damage had been done. Bucky had taken control once again, leaving Brock at a loss.
Backstage, you watched the scene unfold, a mixture of relief and pride swelling within you. Bucky had handled the moment with grace.
But you knew you couldn’t rest. With Shawn’s dark secret now exposed, it meant that your marriage to Bucky could be the next scandal to surface.
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strawbeerossi · 1 year
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This Is Me Trying
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Ex-wife!Reader
Description: Spencer shows up at his ex wife’s door late in the night, riddled with guilt from years of their separation and needing to confide to her why he left her the first place.
Content Warning: Prison arc discussed but no spoilers, mention of PTSD, mentions of drug addiction/relapse, mention of violence, heart wrenching angst, crying, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex, missionary, lovemaking, aftercare, happy ending.
Word count: 4.5K
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The last thing that she expected was to hear a firm knock against her apartment door. It was ten in the evening, who would need anything from her this late? Maybe it was Mrs. Martin, the sweet little old lady next door, wanting to drop off some freshly baked treat that she wanted her to try before she took it to one of her game nights. Which, Y/N had to admit, she loved when she’d come by with her signature chocolate chip brownies, she always made a heaping amount to share with her younger neighbor just because she expressed liking them one time.
She was approaching the front door. Using the peephole of the door, her heart sunk. Instead of seeing an older woman with a plate of treats in her hand, she was met with Spencer Reid.
It had been years since they talked last, the last time being a tearful Y/N begging her husband not to walk out the door, to stay and work out their marriage that she was afraid was starting to crumble into a thousand pieces. She could remember the bitterness, the hatred in his voice.
“Wait! Spencer, baby, please.” Y/N’s voice was hoarse from sobbing, her throat raw from having to yell over his loud voice just to get him to listen. “I know it’s hard but I need you to stay, we can work this out together. You know that. We always do.” Spencer was turning his head to face his wife, already packing his clothes away. “I don’t want to fucking stay. I don’t want your pity. Ever since I got home, you’re treating me like I’m some sort of child! I’m not!” His tone was laced with venom, enough to make the tears spring up in Y/N’s eyes again.
She knew prison would chip away at the Spencer she’d fallen in love with five years ago but she never expected things to go down like this. She’d done everything she could’ve thought of. She always made him some of his favorite dishes, she’d read to him, she’d hold him when he sobbed in her arms and relived the most traumatic experience he’d went through thus far. It was never enough.
He was different now. Irritable, temperamental, and he had a hard time composing his anger, not to mention that his once beautiful honey colored irises were dull, almost lifeless. He lost himself in prison, he wasn’t ever going to be the same. Instead of always greeting her with a hug and a smile after his days at the BAU or after cases, she was greeted to him starting to distance himself from her. It went from him coming home an hour late, to two hours, then three. She stopped making dinner, she stopped staying up to wait for him, she even stopped trying to reach out to him.
There was guilt, her brain rattled with so many what-ifs. If she left him alone more, would he have stayed with her? Would he have given her the same amount of love and dedication he’d once given her before? What could she have done to make him slowly begin to push her away, to serve her with fucking divorce papers?
Her tears stained the documents, her signature blurred out from how much she sobbed over the idea of losing the one real thing she’d ever known. No matter how much she wanted to hate him for his decision, she just couldn’t. Spencer had her heart, he took it with him out of the door when he left her, tucked away in his suitcase covered by the numerous suits and other necessities.
She was pulled out of her pain filled memories the moment she heard yet another knock. Was this a cruel joke? She was taking in a breath, collecting what little confidence she could manage to build up before she was unlocking the front door, her hand shaking from fear. As she was opening the door just enough to peak her head out, her lips were pursed in a fine line.
“Spencer.” Y/N spoke, her gaze firm on the man who had given up on her. “Hi, Y/N.” His voice was soft, a stark contrast to the tone of their last conversation. “Can I come in..?” He asked, though his hand was slowly resting against the front door as he pushed it open, Y/N taking a few steps back to grant him access. She should’ve slammed the door shut, she should’ve locked it and sent him on his way. Yet here she was, slowly closing the door as she invited him to make himself at home.
“What are you doing here?” It took a lot of courage for her to open her mouth, her arms slowly crossing over her chest. She wasn’t going to cry anymore, mainly because she was so tired of crying over him. She’d done it enough within the past few years, if anything, she should’ve been out of tears.
“I’m here to talk.”
“Talk about what?”
“Y/N. I haven’t been honest with you. Guilt has been eating away at me and I can’t help but feel shitty.”
You should.
She’d never say it out loud but judging by the face she made, Spencer already knew what went through her mind.
“I just want to apologize. You are owed that much. Whenever I got out of prison.. I was a different person entirely. I stopped putting much effort into any of my personal relationships..” He began, which before his ex wife could cut him off, he was looking up from his feet with glassy eyes. “It’s because I was getting comfort from.. Other influences. Dilaudid.”
Spencer’s last addictions never defined him throughout their entire relationship, in fact, she was proud of him. He’d been doing so good, the temptation coming up every now and then but she’d be there to push him, to give him so much love and support to try and curb the relapse that could occur.
“Drugs change the writing of neurotransmitters in your brain, which can lead to aggression or mood swings. That’s why I was always hostile towards you and why I didn’t want to be around you.” Spencer explained, eyes on the ground in shame while his hands were coming up to rest over his face. “I knew I had a problem, I did. There was one day when you were trying to get me to eat lunch and.. I wanted to hurt you.” His voice broke at the admission, unable to meet her gaze. “That made me realize that I had a problem. A problem that I couldn’t control. If I couldn’t control my emotions, I would get to the point where I couldn’t control my actions..”
Just the thought of that scared the hell out of him.
“I left because I didn’t want to hurt you. It would kill me if I ever did anything to you. I mean, I was already spiralling because of the vivid nightmares from prison. PTSD and drug use are a horrible combination, dangerous. I couldn’t risk hurting you.”
The explanation had hot Y/N like a ton of bricks. How could she not notice he had a relapse, she was supposed to be by his side and she couldn’t even fucking tell that he was struggling with impulse control as well as his emotions. “Why didn’t you tell me? Spencer, I could’ve helped you.” She whispered, stepping closer to her ex husband while slowly taking her hands in his.
“Because you didn’t deserve a damaged husband who would weigh you down. I can’t expect you to babysit me all day and night, it wouldn’t be fair to you. You have a career, you have friends, you have so much going for you. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if you threw your life away to essentially take care of me.” His words were barely above a whisper, as if the two had a risk of anyone listening in on their conversation.
“You are not damaged.” Y/N scolded softly while she was squeezing his hands slowly. “Spencer, I love you so much, I’ll always be here for you. Wife or not.” She said softly while her hand was now coming to rest gently against his cheek, as if he were fragile and one wrong move would shatter him like a stained glass window.
Spencer was finally meeting the irises that he couldn’t ever get out of his mind, the way there was a shine in them. Eyes were the window to the soul and hers reflected a beautiful, colorful soul and a strong fighting spirit she always carried with her. Even when she was broken down, that shine was there.
Her love was radiating onto him at the smallest touch, the man’s eyes closing briefly as if to compose himself. “I love you so much, Y/N. I will never be able to forgive myself for the way I pushed you away, the way I ended our marriage. I should’ve confided in you sooner. I just.. I was worried about you.” His words were genuine, a gentle smile spreading across his face. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He whispered soon after.
If his pupils could be the shape of hearts, they would be. One thing about Y/N was that he adored her. He cherished her, took care of her. Even in the end when things went south, part of him still had that love that was locked away behind a crippling addiction that broke him down in the worst way possible. “When I wanted to just go back to using, I thought of you. How proud you’d be of me if I held off, how you’d tell me I did an amazing job getting back on track. You are my inspiration.” He whispered, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, holding her face in his hands as his thumbs traced over her soft skin.
There was a soft smile gracing Y/N’s features. “I am so proud of you. It takes a lot to admit when you have a problem, it takes even more to better yourself. Even if I’m not fond of the way you went about it, I understand.” She was honest. She didn’t like how he had to divorce her and disappear from her life. Nobody in their right mind would be okay with that.
For the first time since he’d came inside, there was a content silence filling the living room. It was comfortable. For the first time, home felt like home. However as the both of them stayed within each other’s embrace, it wasn’t long before Spencer was leaning down to kiss her.
Their lips met in a bittersweet collision, as years of longing and unresolved emotions surged through their bodies. The kiss began tenderly, a delicate exploration of familiar territory, before gradually intensifying with the fiery passion that had once defined their relationship. In that moment, they momentarily forgot the pain that had driven them apart, reveling in the sheer magnetism that still bound them together. There was no more pain, no more wondering what had gone wrong.
Their tongues danced in a rhythm only they could understand, tasting the remnants of past love and the promise of a future reignited. As they reluctantly pulled away, their gaze locked, and they both knew that their love still burned strong, an everlasting flame that kept them bound together. After all they’d been through, the love and care was permanent.
While drawing in a breath, Y/N kept her gaze on Spencer before slowly running her hands up his chest. It wasn’t a suit tailored for him like she’d been so used to before, instead a casual cotton shirt. In a way, it was comforting. He thought about her at times where he wasn’t chasing evil men and women on cases, when instead he was home at.. Well, wherever he lived now.
“Do you want to stay tonight?” She asked after a moment, her words coming out slow and her tone delicate, as if she had to worry about scaring him off if she was anything but. “I always sleep so much better with you..” She added on soon after while playing with a loose thread on the shirt, almost as if she had to distract herself from the way her heart was nearly beating out of her chest.
It gave her flashbacks to when she and Spencer had first started dating, the both of them being soft with each other. The way that they’d both be nervous to ask the other to stay the night or when they’d be laying together and spoil each other in the wonders of intimate touch, their lips moving in sync.
That seemed so long ago now.
“Yes,” Spencer responded, not needing to spare a second thought. “I’d love to.” His own heart was racing, the feeling of being home slowly coming back to him. The comfort of Y/N being home, willing to hold him when he needed her. Tonight, he knew he needed her. In more ways than one.
Without a passing thought, the woman was being lifted into his arms while Spencer was reattaching their lips. There was love and need, yearning for the soft touch that they once shared. With the feeling of fingers tangling in his longer hair, he was almost running back to the bedroom that he’d remembered so well.
Without breaking the contact of their lips, Spencer was leaning down while carefully placing Y/N on her back, as if she was breakable. She needed to be handled with care, with appreciation. Not anyone would accept their ex husband despite his faults or listen to him when he’s explaining why he left. Most women would probably slam the door in his face. Not Y/N. Not the woman with a heart of gold. He didn’t deserve her love but she was willing to continue serving it to him.
Once she was on her back, Spencer was slowly pulling away. “I love you.” He whispered, the words just falling out of his mouth, reverting back to the ways that once were. The nights where they’d lay in the darkness, embracing one another during lazy post-coital conversations before falling asleep in those same positions.
“I love you so much.” He repeated as he felt like she needed to know his feelings never changed. His lips began to trail down her neck, his hands running down the silk nightgown. “I love you.” Y/N finally whispered in return, her head relaxing in her pillow while her eyes were fluttered shut, melting at each placed kiss.
Spencer let his teeth graze the now burning skin of her neck, eliciting a beautiful moan to fall from the woman’s lips.
This was heaven.
His lips were moving from her neck soon after that, his head lifting while the two were interlocking in a shared loving gaze. “You can keep going, you know.” She whispered, a little giggle leaving her lips at the way his eyes glistened in the soft lighting of the bedside lamp at her urging him to continue.
Spencer’s fingers were coming up to the flimsy straps of the nightgown, slowly pulling them from her arms while leaning down to trail kisses along her right shoulder. His hands were working to slowly tug the sleep garment off, almost as if he had to carefully unwrap a present to preserve the wrapping paper. He didn’t want to rush this. He wanted her to see how much he truly did love and miss her.
He’d take care of her tonight.
Once she lifted her hips to assist in discarding the nightgown, he was drinking in the sight of the near bare woman in front of him.
Spencer had eidetic memory, however, when it came to Y/N’s body, you’d think it was his first time seeing it. The way his cheeks would flush, the way he’d revert back to being the shy man who couldn’t help but stare as if she were a beautiful oil painting hanging in one of the highest esteemed art galleries in Paris, France.
He was now sitting between her open legs, eyes scanning over her body as his large hands were slowly running up her inner thighs. “I’ve missed you, so much.” He spoke, gaze now moving to the beautiful smile that was spreading across her face. “I’m glad you’re here.” She spoke softly, the two basking in the moment. There was no rush, no. Instead, they were enjoying the intimacy of soft touches, admiring bodies, sharing longing glances.
“May I?” He asked, fingers now getting dangerously close to the place where she needed him most.
“Of course.” Her head nodded, a blush on her face.
The panties she had on had a sizeable wet patch in the center of them, her body reacting so positively to his kisses, his touch, everything. His fingers were slowly running over her clothed cunt, electricity shooting through her body at the mere touch.
“My beautiful girl.” His voice was husky now, fingers looping in the waistband of her panties before he was tugging them down her thighs, a groan ripping from his throat once he could see her glistening pussy, sticky with arousal. “God, I love you.” He repeated for what felt like the millionth time in the night.
Spencer was getting up momentarily, pulling his shirt over his head before discarding his pants as well, leaving him in his boxers. As he’d gotten onto the bed, he was now laying between her thighs, hips pressed into the bed for when he ultimately needed relief of his own.
With one hand keeping her plush thighs apart, his tongue was now licking a stripe up her pussy, collecting just a taste of her arousal. Hearing her shaky breath from above him was enough to encourage his movements. After a few more long and teasing licks, his fingers were coming up to spread her puffy labia apart, his lips blowing cool air while the woman was mewling from pleasure, goosebumps spreading across her skin.
He ate like a man starved, his tongue lapping up all she had to offer to him, like eating one of the ripest fruits on the vine that was bursting with more flavor and sweetness after being freshly pulled from the tree branch. His chin was coated in her glistening juices, his nose brushing against her clit while his tongue was focused on swiping over her velvety walls.
With the sounds of pornographic moans filling the room along with the way her fingernails were digging in his scalp, it became to a point where Spencer was desperate for relief, his hips rocking against the mattress while he was focused on bringing the woman to her peak. As soon as he could feel her thighs begin to shake and her words were more incoherent, he knew what was to come next.
It wasn’t long though until he was pulling away, chuckling at the way she was desperately clenching around nothing as soon as he pulled away. “Hold on, pretty girl.” He purred, getting his fingers lubed up with his own spit before he was plunging them into the woman, a low moan leaving his lips as she was greedily clenching around his digits and pulling them in more.
“There we go.” He praised, the two fingers being thrusted inside of her needy core.
“I’m gonna— oh fuck, Spencer.” Y/N breathed out as her eyes were squeezing shut, her words encouraging him to fuck her faster with his fingers. She could feel the coil tightening in her stomach, her moans and whimpers of his name falling steadily from her lips.
All it took was him curling his fingers and pushing against her spongy sweet spot before she was cumming around his fingers, her hips rocking steadily against Spencer’s hand as she was doing her best to catch her breath, chest rising and falling rapidly.
As she’s ridden out the high, Spencer’s hair was being tugged in a gesture that was telling him move your ass, Reid.
So he was nearly stumbling to crawl up to hover over her again, the two attaching their lips in a much needed, more messy kiss than before. “Please,” She mumbled against his lips, making Spencer pull away. “Please what?” He asked, needing to hear her say it.
“I need you.”
Those words had his already hard cock aching in his boxers, making him stumble a bit just to get them down his legs before they were being tossed with the rest of the clothes in the bedroom.
“I don’t have a condom.” Spencer spoke, letting out a hiss of pleasure from the feeling of her hand wrapping around his cock to give it a few tugs. “We don’t need one. I don’t care right now.” Her voice came out in a desperate tone, making the man nod as he was letting her line up his tip with her leaking mound.
He was pushing into her slowly, sinking all the way to the hilt while the two let out a collective moan, Spencer’s head falling against Y/N’s shoulder as he let his eyes flutter shut, kisses being sponged to her shoulders as he gave her a minute. The way her hands were gripping onto him was a big indicator that just like himself, she’d probably not really gotten much action in a while.
“I’m ready.” She whispered, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as she was practically hugging him close. “I’ll go slow.” He spoke in return, now lifting his head to smear their lips against one another’s.
Spencer loved slow and intimate sex, the way they were pressed flush against one another, drinking each others moans while the world slowly stood still. His hips were thrusting at a steady pace, the feeling of her legs wrapping around his waist just to try and bury him impossibly deeper inside of her.
It was the ultimate form of love. Being able to savor one another, enjoy the closeness. There were times in the past where the two would talk and even giggle with one another while his cock was buried inside of her. It was comforting in its own odd way.
Tonight though, there wasn’t much talking. Instead there was soft, loving kisses, the mixture of moans and groans falling between the both of them, as well as the sound of the bed squeaking along with each thrust that the man made.
There was nothing but love in that bedroom, the two whispering sweet nothings to one another and making promises that would fully be fulfilled going forward. This was going to be the start of something beautiful, that was something the two were confident of.
“I’m close,” Spencer’s words were being muffled into Y/N’s mouth, the woman slowly pulling out of their shared kiss while she was bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks. “Me too, don’t stop.” Her words were soft, a moan leaving her lips as she was letting her eyes flutter shut, head falling back against the mattress as she could feel her stomach tightening again.
“I love you so much, Y/N. Fuck.” His words slurring together as he brought one hand between their bodies, his thumb swiping over her clit in order to have her cum first. He prided himself on pleasuring her first and foremost, himself being mostly an afterthought.
As the warmth of her orgasm was washing over her, Y/N was hugging him as close as she could get him while a soft cry of the male’s name slipped from her lips. Chasing her orgasm, it wasn’t long until Spencer was letting go, a few more thrusts doing the trick as his warm cum was filling her to the brim. The feeling had the woman shuddering in pleasure.
With a thin layer of sweat coating their skin and their bodies still intertwined, Spencer was turning his attention down to the woman who he felt an intense and burning love for. “I promise you that I am not going anywhere this time. I’m tired of fighting M on my own.” His words were soft, his breathing still uneven. “I love you and I never want to be away from you like that again..”
“I love you so much more. You know that I’m always here for you, right? No matter what you’re struggling with. We are supposed to always be by each other’s sides. I made that promise to you and I never intend on breaking it.” Y/N assured.
“How about we to get cleaned up?” The make suggested, forcing himself to move away from the warmth of her embrace briefly. Instead of letting her get up though, Spencer’s hand was wrapping around her ankle before he was playfully pulling her to the end of the bed, making the woman laugh as she was being lifted in his arms.
“You could’ve broke my leg!” She gasped, a teasing tone chasing the words as she was letting her arms wrap around his shoulders, lips pressing kisses across his face.
A she was carefully sitting her on the edge of the tub, Spencer was turning on the faucet. After he’d gotten the water warm enough for the both of them, he’d retrieved the plug for the drain. Approaching the bathroom cabinet, he was kneeling down and rummaging until he was grinning triumphantly as he was retrieving a bottle of bubble bath soap, holding it up. “I knew you’d never get rid of this. As dumb as it sounds, I was so pissed because I didn’t take this with me.”
After putting a generous amount of the soap in the tub and watching it foam up, he was waiting until the tub was filled to their liking until he was turning off the water. He was the first to step in, getting comfortable before holding his hand out to help Y/N get in, a smile on his face. Even if it was a little awkward considering he was a tall guy in a small tub, they managed to get comfortable together with her on his lap.
One of her hands was collecting a bit of bubbles from the water before she was moving to place them over his face, a little laugh leaving her lips as she’d given him a bit of a bubble beard. “How old are we?” Spencer asked teasingly as he was doing the same thing with her, the two unable to help the soft laugh filling the bathroom.
“So, I have a legitimate question,” Spencer began while leaning back against the tub, a smile on his face. “Does this mean we have to get married again?”
The question made Y/N pull a face as she was pondering over the question. He had a point. How did this work?
“I say yes. Only because I think you owe me a much bigger wedding this time.” She joked, making the male laugh.
“My queen gets whatever she wants.”
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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year
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Fluff → 💕 | Angst → 💋 | Smut → 🔥
All works are written by me and are not given consent to be reposted anywhere else other than my own account (reblogs are fine)
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Dom Hayden Blurb
Social Media Au
Fever Dream 💕
➪the one where you and hayden celebrate his birthday.
Open Invitation 🔥
➪the one where hayden’s day off with you gets interrupted.  Done Right 🔥 ➪the one where you and hayden get back to your unfinished business. (part 2 of OI)
Like Fine Wine 💕🔥
➪the one where you can’t resist hayden’s look for his role in ahsoka.
Sweet Spot 🔥
➪the one where hayden goes down on you.
Santa, Baby 💕
➪the one where you and hayden celebrate christmas. Bring in the New Year 💕🔥 ➪the one where you and hayden enter a new year together (part 2 of SB).
The Night has Just Begun 💕🔥
➪the one where you and hayden make a sex tape.
Second Nature 💕
➪the one where hayden is not only protective over you, but the tiny person he helped make with you.
Ride With Me Series 💕🔥💋
➪the one where you and hayden meet and fall in love, despite having a rocky introduction. (racer au)
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He’s Got My Name 💕💋
➪the one where everything a.j. does, he does for you. Tattooed On His Arm 💕💋 ➪the one where a.j. finally gets the money for your treatment, but at a cost. (part 2 of HGMN)
The Only One Invited 💕🔥💋
➪the one where you’re with a.j. and ghost, your ex, gets out of prison.
No One Else 💕🔥
➪the one where you throw a housewarming party, and a.j. isn’t fond of all the guys staring at you in his new living room.
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Dating Anakin Skywalker would include;
Blurb 1
Cosmic Love 💋
➪the one where you break anakin’s heart after he unknowingly broke yours. Back To You 💕💋 ➪the one where anakin is slipping away and needs you more than ever. (part 2 of CL) The Story of Us 💕💋 ➪the one where things are a a bit different after you and anakin get back together. (part 3 of CL/BTY)
Heartbreak Prince 💕💋🔥
➪the one where you’re a princess and anakin saves you in more ways than one. 
Shadows of Your Heart 💕💋
➪the one where anakin makes it up to you after being distant during a mission.
When Faced with Darkness 💋
➪the one where you and anakin reunite years after he turned to the dark side.
Screaming Whispers 💕🔥
➪the one where anakin is a musician and you’re his muse. ➪Something to Write About. (one shot | part of the SW au) ➪Love & Bound. (blurb | part of the SW au) add ons; one, two
Wrapped Around Your Finger Series 💕🔥💋
➪the one where you and anakin struggle to find time for each other after his first tour wraps up. (continuation of screaming whispers) Series Playlist
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Love Language 💕💋
➪the one where you’re all clay needs to keep himself calm before surgery (and after).
Sound of Your Heart 💕💋
➪the one where you take care of clay after his surgery.
In The Way I Need You Series 💕🔥💋
➪the one where clay needs a babysitter for his son, and you just so happen to be more than willing to take up his offer.
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Blurb
If I Love You was a Promise 💕💋
➪the one where james’ brother comes home just when things were falling into place. Don’t Come Back For Me 💋 ➪the one where everything falls apart. (part 2 of IILYWAP) Careless Whisper 💕💋 ➪the one where james struggles with getting used to his life without you, even nearly a year after the break up. (part 3 to IILYWAP/DCBFM)
The Perks 💕🔥
➪the one where you get to experience all the perks that come with being james’ wife and biggest supporter.
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Dating Luke Reiter would include;
Right Back to the Start 💕💋🔥
➪the one where luke wakes up to the abandoned city of detroit and doesn’t think twice about looking for the one person that always meant the most to him.
Til Morning Comes 💕💋
➪the one where luke is late for work after spending the night in the sheets with you, but quickly discovers that his attendance is the least of his worries.
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Teen Romance 💕💋
➪the one where you try to make sam see just how good he has it, and he almost loses both you and his dad before he finally changes his act.
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Fluff ☼
Angst ►
Smut *
Hearts ☼
An intern pesters Spencer to get his attention and you help him get rid of it a bit, benefiting in the process
Hearts part 2 ☼
Morning coffees become the special moments between you and Spencer, but you also discover that he may have more competition for his love than you expected
Bolinus brandaris ☼
Reid loves the gift you just gave him and the whole team can notice
Exchanged clothes Bolinus brandaris part. 2 ☼
A small act of kindness leads to a rather peculiar confession
Memories ► (☼)
The case of the self-appointed Fisher King comes with too many sentimental implications and you discover that you and Spencer had more in common than you imagined.
Between your arms (wife!reader) ☼
After a hard day Spencer returns to his safe place
Decoy (+16)
When you go after an unsub who catches students making out, the unit is called upon to resort to desperate measures. Or in other words, where you and Spencer become the decoy to catch a voyeur
A (not so) little secret ☼
Even though you and Spencer have kept yours private pretty well, one night the universe seems determined to let everyone know
Dear Theodosia (Dad!Spencer) ☼
Spencer stays one afternoon to care for your three-month-old twins and reflects on how much he loves them
White lies ☼
You meet Spencer thanks to a nice coincidence and you become recurring chess partners, but he leaves out a small detail
Andy ►
You and Spencer have to learn to deal with grief without losing your marriage in the process
Devil's night ☼
Spencer is excited about his Halloween plans and you join him
Wearing pink (bimbo fem!reader) ☼
Your boyfriend introducing you to the squad!
Emergency room* (exes to lovers) (+18)
Spencer forgot to mention that you're still his emergency contact. You wouldn't have had a problem with it if you weren't his ex of over a year and the hospital took you out of the bed because he had a car crash
Nocturnal ballads ☼
Your boyfriend is too tense and you imagine that a little dance and music will make him feel better
New look ☼
Directly based on "The internet is forever" (5x22), when Reid's wonderful but short-lived boyband cut appears for the first time
Cigarettes (hurt/comfort)
Spencer comforts you after you learn some bad news about your relationship
Birthday wishes ☼
Everyone seems to forget Spencer's 30th birthday, but he only cares that you remember it
Wishes fulfilled (BW part 2) ☼
After an unfortunate event, Spencer questions what he really feels about his childhood best friend
Morning surprises ☼
When you find Reid lying under his desk your heart stops, but it turns out he was just taking a nap
Wheels up (hurt/comfort)
Spencer has just been released released from prison and things seem to get complicated when Mr. Scratch attacks again. You want to know what's going on with your boyfriend, but when you confront him, you don't expect him to yell at you like he does
Hogsmeade (Hogwarts!AU) ☼
The whole group pays a visit to Hogsmeade during the winter, where you and Spencer end up having a pretty interesting conversation
Lovely Christmas 🎄
The entire team gets together to celebrate Christmas and Spencer gives you a pleasant surprise
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SPENCER'S FLUFFTOBER 🎀
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snekjoy · 11 months
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One must imagine diluc ragnvindr as the main character in a dating sim game who has about twelve other people with crushes on him. The list goes as follows:
- His childhood friend he kissed once when he was 16 who he hasn't seen in ten years (Thoma)
- His ex-wife who he has complicated feelings towards (Jean)
- The girl from that flower shop who is obsessed with him (Donna)
- An old chinese man who keeps quoting ancient texts at him and saying he knew the guy who wrote it (probably a god) (Zhongli)
- The first one's boss who keeps flirting with him and suggesting they enter a polyamorous marriage in really unsubtle ways (Ayato)
- A gambler lady who thinks he's really good at killing people and keeps sexually (???) choking/strangling enemies they fight (Yelan)
- Some gang leader from Japan with big tits who keeps trying to beetle fight him and is endearingly stupid (Itto)
- An architect from Persia who is knee deep in debt and cares very heavily about everything (Kaveh)
- The architect's roommate, also a well-known Arabian scholar who never takes his headphones off and somehow still hears everything Diluc says (Alhaitham)
- A French prison warden who keeps reminding him to take care of himself while he struggles to reign in his own daughter (?? Child who is always with him??? Coworker?? Diluc can't tell) (Wriothesley)
- his doctor (Baizhu)
- That one night stand he had when he was on a killing spree who turned out to be a leading part of the organisation that killed his father and then fucked his brother but is still trying with him too for some fucking reason (Childe)
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theothin · 11 months
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subbyp · 4 months
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hades modern au wherein hades quits/takes early retirement from his job as a prison warden (his participation in the carceral system being one of the many factors that nearly destroyed his still-teetering marriage) and opens an escape room business with the gimmick of absolute ball-busting punitive difficulty
he then recruits his twentysomething son, who has been half-dragging his feet/half-honestly fucking up the criminology degree that hades insists on paying for, to be the head tester.
this is a job that zagreus would actually enjoy except that for some deranged reason known only to himself hades’ other pick for senior tester is zagreus’ childhood best friend, than, who has been pissed off at zagreus for going on five years now for reasons he does not feel obligated to directly explain. also, because you can’t spell “nepotism” without “several direct kicks to the figurative testicles”, the senior game master is zagreus’ ex-girlfriend.
meanwhile than’s brother, the receptionist (who answers the phone “Tartarus Puzzle Rooms, there is no escape, how can I help you?”), likes to watch the security camera so he can cheerfully taunt anyone who loses.
the custodian has an emotional support snake.
security consists of a heavily decorated war hero who spends most of his time standing in front of a closet trying not to have a flashback.
the guy who was ostensibly hired to do aesthetic design—music, prop-building, etc—refuses to work because he misses his ex-wife too much (and anyway his best work was always done with her collaboration, without her really he can’t do anything worthwhile, so why bother? the real question is why hades keeps signing this guy’s paychecks).
zagreus’ insane relatives (his uncle the governor; his other uncle the celebrity oceanographer; his large group of colorful cousins including but not limited to the historian/Go champion, the iron-livered party-boy philosopher, the Olympic archer/survivalist, the frightening violent weirdo, the agelessly hot actress who he’s pretty sure is hitting on him, and the guy with 10000 jobs) keep dropping by.
one of the other employees is a guy who used to be one of hades’ inmates. he has a pet rock—which he talks to—and he’s probably the nicest, sanest guy on staff.
one of the recurring parties is this ultra-rich pro athlete dipshit who seems to think it is his personal god-given duty to beat zagreus’s time in every room. he brings along his personal assistant/bodyguard most visits. the PA is significantly better at the puzzles than his boss is.
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0crooked-arcade0 · 7 months
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Ok, something that came to my attention is that if you frame Actor as being Mark's self insert character, the entire way the character carries himself is immediately ten times funnier.
Typically a self insert is a reflection of a persons desired traits, but Mark decided to back that train of logic into reverse in the most drastic way possible.
I mean just look at Actor-
He's divorced, he's been to prison, he has zero sense of direction and no idea what's happening a good chunk of the time, he wears crocs with a three peice suit like it's a normal fashion statement, he didn't have pants on the entire time he was executing his revenge plan, hes a sopping wet rag of a human and he is so violently depressed, he's the inventor of what's commonly known as 'Gaslighting'-
Darkiplier is at least one third his ex wife, Mark didn't need to make that a plot point, he just did and the fact that nobody brings that up is wild to me, good for him though.
The cast at large is a collection of people who are all at fault in their own ways, but Mark took one look at the story he was crafting and said 'I'm going to be the worst person in the room' and I respect that so much.
Even the way Mark carries himself differently from his normal speaking tone when playing this guy is immaculate, the voice acting is absolutely wild. I still can't rewatch 'Damien' because as soon as I hear that asshole start yelling it kicks in my fight or flight response.
TL;DR Actor is a great villain but his execution is so violently off the wall it's absurd, props to Mark for making me genuinely afraid of theater kid.
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