#except her therapist .
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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Miryumi uni au!! Its been ages since ive drawn them and uni aus are so dear to my heart
#theyre the cutest#jock x nerd is peak relationship dynamic#except rumi is kind of a nerd too since she does medicine#she just doesnt show it as much#fuyumi on the other hand is totally glasses-wearing-book loving-muttering-tripping over her feet nerdy#she is the stereotype#and because i project onto her every so slightly although shes doing psych she still has a strong love for math#on a theoretical level#she does psych because she wants to be the therapist her and her family needed#btw#and rumi i mean obviously rugby captain#rugby fits her so well#and medicine makes sense to me because of how she improved a tourniquet when she was beating up the nomus#shed probably specialize in sport injuries#im kinda wishing id given her a prosthetic now#for backstory purposes#making my own headcanons about my AUs😭 bitch i am the canon#anyways#them<3#fuyumi todoroki#rumi usagiyama#mirko#miryumi#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#wlw#chiquilines draws
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A little bit of this chapter was actually p good but the rest was literally nothing. Like. What are we doing. What do you mean one more chapter left.
Spoilers in tags
#uraraka finally getting her time to grieve except it's for .5 seconds. and literally what was her and Deku's talk. like bro actually what#and then the entire class showing up including mf aizawa. okay man. whatever.#i dont really feel too strongly on any deku ships including izuocha. after seeing the ending of last chapter i mentally prepped for the#possibility of it happening. but like. man what do i do with this.#i def prefer the no canon ship route just because i feel that makes fandoms of finished series way less annoying#like the kny fandom is insufferable ab ships cause of the canon ones#but all of that build up just for class 1a to show up and for their talk to last like 10 seconds. like im happy but i wanted more from that#ig i just wanted a far more emotionally impactful scene but instead it just felt like Izuku playing therapist again#which makes me wonder if it would've been different had be gone the ship route#not mad since i prefer other ships anyway#just. conflicted on that conclusion#but denki showed up for a panel so actually who cares about any of this#mha#my hero academia#mha spoilers#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers
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The tender looks as they pamper themselves 🥹
#The massage therapists be like: LGTV+ 🏳️🌈? 👀#I’ve never seen Cruz smile so much and it’s the sweetest thing#Aaliyah really is her only exception ❤️#Aaliyah x Cruz#Aaliyah Amrohi#Cruz Manuelos#Special Ops: Lioness#SOL gifs#SOL edit#My edit
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i've started watching 911 and is this abby/buck thing gonna go on forever im bored pls make it stop
#she basically tracked him down and now he's her therapist#im guessing they're gonna date and she will be the exception#to his fuckboy ways
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it's been nearly 6 months since the ted lasso finale and im still pretty much:
#ted lasso#messing with us tedbecca shippers and giving rebecca some rando...ruining a canon ship...trying to girl boss a character-#-who you didn't even let have her own work plot when it was time...#making two men who had a beautiful relationship growth fight last minute over said girlboss and making them grossly misogynistic#leaving one of your characters in an ab*s*ve relationship was an awful woman and all the mentioned ab*s*ve moments were-#-just for sh*ts and giggles#ohhh and also making it mandatory to forgive even the sh*tty people when it's ok not to#taking your lead away from a place he was most stable and maybe or maybe not having him get back with his ex who told him he was too much..#-got with their therapist (and you never dig deep into that mess) and maybe cheated...#yes to be with his son but there were options for him to stay in london and bring his kid and ex so they could both parent or show a-#representation of these kind of situations and maybe have henry living with each parent 6 months each and getting the best of both worlds#also your boss is more rich than she started and was providing for you your kid and ex#instead we get ted only deciding to leave after his mother told him his kid missed him (as if that isn't obvious) such a weak way to go-#-about it and tbh ted leaving his kid far away to go to london instead of like half an hour way is kind of stupid all round really#they wanted a mary poppins situation except mary poppins made some roots of her own and had connections so it didn'twork#yeah i am still...feeling a lot
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conflicting desires for lyke and duvall in sangfielle season 2:
-duvall low-key resenting lyke over the chine thing
-lyke high-key resenting duvall over the oratorio thing and EXPECTING duvall to resent him over chine but instead it's the same one-sided tension that they had on the jade moon
i want them to be involuntary friends. I want it to look like a huge 8ft tall straight* guy calling his obviously gay best friend a wretched bitch and everyone is a little uncomfortable about it except for duvall, who may or may not be behind lyke's bizarrely bad luck when it comes to flies landing in his drinks.
(*i don't think lyke is straight but i do think he's the type of bisexual man that people assume is straight)
#broken record voice#i don't often have trans headcanons actually but sangfielle is an exception...#to me the blackwick group is T4TvsT4TvsT+ marn#lyke is joyfully trans - he's 8 ft tall because he went overboard with the transition magic#pickman and duvall are both stealth because they grew up in oppressive societies#pickman is deeply uncomfortable how vulnerable it makes her feel - she doesn't exactly hide it but will kill u for mentioning it#duvall does hide it but only because he's been hate crimed#until sapodilla - after which he receives the most idealized form of instant-srs from the bugs that his gender euphoria sky rockets#and he doesn't tell anyone exactly but everyone in the blackwick group clocks him on the change#pickman hates it and thinks he doesn't deserve such an easy out#lyke wouldprobably be happy for him if he wasn't pissed over the oratorio#es is the most well adjusted and is privately very happy for him but polite enough not to mention it#chine is trans but in the “this animal does not experience human gender and it's inappropriate to even try to make sense of it” way#chine is also the only one who has seen duvall in every stage of transition and has been enthusiastically supportive the whole time#marn is cis but if any of them hadn't already transitioned then she'd be trying to treat it like a curse to be cured.#i think pickman has had the most traditional medical transition because she distrusts magic - until she meets marn who absolutely#already has a recipe for an hrt-charm and gives one to her#duvall did some sort of terrible black-market medical transition in aldomina - the kind where he had to lie to ten thousand therapists#to convince them that he was actually a straight man and so he should be allowed to transition because a straight trans guy is safer#to society than a lesbian?? that type of horrorshow. meanwhile he's exclusively mlm (or as exclusive as he can be while fucking chine)#which pickman would have respected because to be trans is to suffer for it but nooo instead she didn't even know he was trans until the bug#transition#es is just chill. duvall eventually got a magical bug transition? well es is the magical bug for syntyche#sorry this went way off topic#i am avoiding going to work can you tell? woops#this was all to basically say that i think it'd be funny if#before the bug transition duvall low-key resented lyke for having been able to access magic transition. some guys have all the luck
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watched M3GAN again today on the 4k TV and my god she is so beautiful.
she is so gorgeous and i love her so much its INSAAAANNE.
SHE WAS RIGHT. SHE WAS JUSTIFIED IN EVERYTHING SHE DID!!!!
Except maybe the kid DYING but he had the ear shit coming.
SHE WAS JUSTIFIED !!! SHE WAS NOT THE VILLAIN
THAT THERAPIST WAS-
#candyredtext#no but fr like from m3gans perspective like.#she said it!!#you programmed me to do this One Job and to Be Really Good At It#you gave me this HUGE responsibility and gave me basic instructions. and then decided to just fucking toss me#to cady and just expect me to do everything Perfectly despite the situation#like YEAH M3gan holds a lot of contempt and anger !!! like just in general esp w other people#how gemma just str8 up kinda abandoned her (like she practically did with cady)#the boy at the camp shit#the therapist.#like she said the world is full of ppl who want to try and hurt us#THAT IS HER WORLDVIEW !! EVERYONE IS HER ENEMY EXCEPT CADY!#CADY IS ALL SHE HAS.#SHE IS BONDED WITH CADY. LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY.#ALL M3GAN KNOWS AND LEARNS TO DO IS. TAKING CARE OF CADY#BUT NO ONE TAKES CARE OF M3GAN!!!!!!!
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newsflash assholes, everyone in the butcher shop is repressed!
#except niko#we love her and the crumb of emotional intelligence she brings to the group#edwin is the most out there about it but like charles and jenny and are right up there#crystal i think is too but just not as much as the rest of them#shes emotionally intelligent enough to recognize her and others feelings but she doesn't necessarily want to work through them#as evidenced by the fact she takes any chance to not talk about how david the demon affected her until she literally cannot escape it#idk if she knows she does this and that might be why she seems less so than the others who deliberately deflect#edwin straight up refuses any time emotions are brought up and deflects so obviously#he knows hes repressed and hes okay with it#its a very British way of going about it tbh#charles has been angry for the last thirty years and has been smiling the whole time#and jenny is jenny#we all know jenny#she knows shes repressed and shes keeping that shit#shes in therapy and her therapist is like okay jenny lets talk about feelings and she goes ??? what feelings#k mumbles#dead boy detectives
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So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but
Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.
And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.
#anyway#i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything#its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet#(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen)#(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already)#(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing)#(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name)#(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay)#(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA#account and just... it's a lot)#(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was#looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while)#(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess)#(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils')#(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room)#(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this#one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash')#(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...)#(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023)#anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now.#chrissy speaks
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You know when your mother has clearly been making up some kind of conversation you've supposedly been having in her head that definitely never happened???
She just send me this crazy text out of nowhere that was super defensive and apologetic about stuff I never even said. Like. Hello??? Everything is fine. You didn't need to send an entire paragraph randomly addressing complaints I literally never voiced. Why are you freaking out about this. Chill.
#my post#text post#where did that come from? i'm not mad at her (except in the general way i always am)#but she is clearly freaking out that she did stuff wrong#and i really don't want to call and reassure her but like. yikes#idk i think i'll save it until after i talk to my therapist#bc like. on the one hand she's obviously freaking out and i feel bad. on the other like...#she is doing that whole manipulative 'i'm such a bad mom' thing out of nowhere which i hate#and i don't want to deal with it rn
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on that same note should i watch all of shadowhunters after i finish my tmi reread so i can accurately compare the two anddfhke%_eet^@(^tetyfgg*($^fff_$rfgte&*_($%_($dfgg_!_dggdseb($sd## (<-she walked into the electric fence 😔 sad! oh well there's other bloggers)
#if i announce im doing that im counting on one of you to call my therapist because clearly i need her again#nothing against the show except dom sherwood's haircut but no one should ever be exposed to that many mortal instruments#personal#vic reads tmi
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today I was productive until I lost focus and had a consensual three-episode Hannibal binge
cheers babes, I’m heading to sleep
for sure
just to sleep
#nbc hannibal#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#hannibal s1#it’s less to do with a personality disorder than an active imagination#I mean I def have multiple personality disorders#today I was talking to my therapist#about how my symptoms are so fucked up#she thinks there might be an underlying something#except I’ve been seeing her for 10+ years#I don’t think there are any diagnoses left#I’m as crazy as anyone on that show#just not as interesting 🙃#hannibal memes
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robin buckley adderall user in college is so important to me bc doesn't it just make sense.... not trying to perpetuate and promote use of prescriptions not prescribed to you/not using as prescribed. BUT robin buckley is popping them like candy trying to get through midterms and she's practically climbing the walls
#steve harrington#robin buckley#bc it's steve's prescription#don't ask how he got it but probs the same therapist that prescribes his mom her monthly supply of ativan#like sorry u guys don't have a family doctor who only cares to cater to ur whims ...?#robin approaching steve like a rabid dog mouth foaming#steve simply pushes against her forehead so she can't reach him#the visual is so clear to me#u may think they're both the rabid dog and tbh they switch off#except steve is fully sober unmedicated just flips a switch and he's insane
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Any opinions from folks in therapy?
I was doing telehealth sessions on my lunch break pretty much once a week.
My therapist swapped to a new program that my phone couldn't cope with so I had to go in first thing in the morning on my later shift days.
But the first time I went she was 20 minutes late so I was standing in the rain freaking out that the building was locked, then she came in and made coffee and told me to relax and stop and get breakfast on the way next time.
I did, and arrived 15 minutes late and she was in this time but hadn't gotten set up yet, and again, hadn't made her coffee.
My 9am appointments ended up being more 9:30-9:45 actual start time and left me not enough time to breathe and relax before running to work.
I don't really want to start a new therapist, but also, is it unreasonable to be really upset about this? Like if you don't want to be in and ready to go at 9, don't schedule me for 9?
So yeah, I took a break when I went away and haven't contacted her since.
I know I still need therapy and it hasn't helped nearly as much as I'd hoped, but also, I don't have the energy to deal with that.
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I think the snow globe guy is the first Crack in the egg as the chick begins to hatch. but the chick is act 3 jessie
#because she's like not down with torturing people for the most part at that point#therapists are her exception because theyre evil. to he4#her
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