#excerpt from the notes:

[neonteeth]

i was going through my little fan cast / face ref notes and now i'm thinking about loghain and marilis again.

[shisasan]

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra originally published 1873

[funeral]

Robert Pantano, Notes from the End of Everything

[kyyuuuy]

Starcrossed lovers, on a treacherous night

Sharpening the blades of murderous delight

[amicus-noctis]

“I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy.” ― Franz Kafka

Drawings by Franz Kafka from his sketchbook, circa 1901-7. Literary Estate of Max Brod, National Library of Israel, Jerusalem. Photo by Ardon Bar Hama

[wordsbyt]

[landwriter]

Talk about sandman WIPs you say? 👀 Your porn AU and San Francisco gays still live in my head rent freeeeeee ❤️

Pella! I'm glad Professional Fuckers lives rent free in your head because I definitely forgot it existed. In spite of this, I am somehow still confident I'll actually finish and post it one day. It's just so easy and refreshing to write a setting purely from experience. Still needs several more scenes but I know the whole shape of it.

I think there's a lot of really fun potential to be mined from indie porn in a rom-com sort of story: you have this professional physical intimacy that can mean absolutely nothing, an intimacy that is itself altered and shaped by the demands of performing for a camera, by the visual and literal language of any given shoot genre; but separately to that, there's this variable of the chemistry you have with them, as colleagues, as co-performers, and of course, though somehow least significantly, as people fucking. The chemistry that plays out on screen does not always track onto the chemistry you feel with someone. So there's this, I think, super funny territory you can get into, where you've just fucked someone, and the prescient question of did we make something good and the vain little one of was I good, did you like that are entirely separate. But imagine the urge to ask when you're doing something you've never done before.

Imagine, too, nursing a crush on somebody and still not being sure if they like you like you in spite of fucking them in shoots all afternoon and pretending to be in a relationship for half of those. Imagine doing all this demanding, intimate work with a near-stranger, and then making friendly small talk after because outside of this work you hardly know each other. Imagine feeling like there's something there, beneath all the performance, and the commingled horror of crossing professional boundaries--of finding out your co-performer is just so good that they sold the story you were telling together to you too, without meaning any of it--and the desire to find out how good it could be with the cameras off. No awkward blocking, no performing, no story, nothing: an entirely novel, unprofessional, and maybe even more intimidating kind of fucking altogether.

That's what this setting is all about. In the spirit of that, have a mildly NSFT scene ft. Dream sucking cock for the first time while on a shoot, and Hob making a suggestion after.

[ask me anything]

“Dream,” says Hob. “Dream, please, I’m gonna cum, oh, fuck.”

He looks up at Hob, jaw afire, and Hob swears and twitches and comes in his mouth. Dream swallows it without thinking of making a show of it, just swallows and swallows and pulls off, panting. He doesn’t realize how swollen his lips are until Hob traces them with a warm thumb, and murmurs, wow, so low it’s surely not for the cameras, more a breath than a word.

“Was I good?” he asks. His voice is fucked out and low and Hob laughs breathlessly as he tucks himself in.

“Yeah. Yeah, shit, you were good, baby. So good for me.” He looks down at Dream with undisguised lust. “M’gonna want this all the time now.”

Dream doesn’t know what to say, so he just stares up at Hob, until Hob smiles and shifts to sit up. “Great,” he says, in a normal tone, the scene sloughing off him. “Happy with that?”

“Was it enough time?” Dream asks.

“Oh, yeah. We’re probably at thirteen, fourteen minutes. I know you only wanted ten but I didn’t want to tread on perfectly good footage and say something.”

Dream can’t conceal his surprise that it’s been so long already. Hob takes it as skepticism and laughs. “No, you can check, but I’m like a fucking egg timer. It’s my party trick on shoots.” He stands and goes over to his camera, squinting at the display. “Yes! Thirteen twenty-nine,” he announces triumphantly, and turns it off. “Right,” he says, all business when he turns back to Dream. “Water and onto the next?”

Dream, still kneeling, awkwardly stands. “Yes,” he says, and clears his throat when it comes out rough. “Yeah, sure.”

Was I good? Truly? Hob is so good at inhabiting someone else that Dream isn’t sure. He would cover it up well if it was bad. “That’ll sell well,” he says, as neutrally as he can.

Hob takes the bait and grins at him. “Oh, definitely. That was perfect. You were great.” Then he takes in Dream and frowns. “Hey, do you want to, ah?”

Dream realizes he’s still painfully hard. Hob is grimacing down at his tented jeans. The moment of satisfaction is popped like a soap bubble. He adjusts himself, feeling his face heat. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Oh, fuck, don’t be sorry. Always good to know I’m not repulsive. I meant, do you want to deal with it now since you didn’t come?”

Dream glances toward the guest bedroom, unable to believe Hob is actually propositioning him. Unable to believe the yes that offers itself at once. Hob continues. “My facial shoot, later? Could just switch things around and get it done now if you’re ready to go.”

“Of course,” says Dream, magnanimously. Of course that’s what Hob meant.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?

no

[autumnwhistles]

(ft synthesised voice, also this isn't quite the start of the song but it works better as an excerpt)

[itachi6756]

Oh my foolish heart, why don't you understand that the one you don't want to lose, doesn't want to be yours.

~itachi6756

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

The parallels between Kaveh and his mother and what this implies for Kaveh and Alhaitham

(This is an excerpt taken from my Haikaveh essay! If you're interested you can check it out here or as a pdf <3)

When discussing Kaveh’s mother, Faranak, with her old teacher Zaha Hadi in order to discover the password that will unlock Faranak’s journal, “companionship” is given as the password over “understanding”. This is due to Faranak placing more value in the companionship of Kaveh’s father over him understanding her artistry, as despite his lack of understanding, he stayed at her side regardless in order to “support” her. Zaha Hadi states that Kaveh’s father’s support was likely the reason that Faranak chose him over her “many admirers”, which Kaveh then equates to “companionship”:

A romantic connotation is created by the association of “companionship” with the relationship between Kaveh’s mother and father. Although companionship is also assigned to a platonic connection, pictured in Faranak’s journal of the gathering consisting of Tighnari’s parents, Alhaitham’s parents, and Cyno’s adoptive father. Her advice to Kaveh of pursuing companionship, too, falls in the platonic category, as she states for him to: “seek a friend” in order to gain support. Companionship, then, becomes dually used for romantic and platonic connections.

It is interesting then, that Faranak herself can be used as an allusion to Kaveh. This is emanated in how the two share many similarities, not only in physical attributes, their studying in Kshahrewar, and their shared profession as an architect, but also in their mannerisms and their method of working.

Just as Faranak keeps a diary, Kaveh writes in an ‘Old Sketchbook’. Faranak is described as a “perfectionist” who insisted on redesigning drafts, just as Kaveh designs six drafts for a singular client.

She is also described to have a “sensitive and vulnerable heart”, just as Kaveh is described to be “sensitive” due to his empathetic nature.

Just like Kaveh, she is said to have gotten into a “heated argument” with a friend, presumably over conflicting viewpoints on art. As an artist, her woes are that of Kaveh’s, stemming from being misunderstood by others.

As she is directly compared with Kaveh and as their similarities are listed, it can be inferred that the two are to be paralleled due to their resemblance. It is relevant then to look to her view of her relationship with Kaveh’s father as it provides a perspective of an ideal companion for a struggling artist:

This is interesting in regard to the relationship presented here to that which exists between Kaveh and Alhaitham.

Kaveh and Alhaitham have a mutually deep understanding of each other, which creates a sense of intimacy that they share with no other character. Additionally, Kaveh has the similar struggle of being eclipsed by a “dream” in his heart, as in, his ideals conflicting with his own self-interest. Kaveh’s father, rather than understanding Kaveh's mother's ideals in relation to himself, seeks to support her, “listen[ing] to her joys and share[ing] in her sorrows”. This is a similar statement to Alhaitham’s “listen[ing] intently” to Kaveh’s troubles when meeting in a tavern, calling to question Kaveh’s pursuit of his ideals: “How has realising your ideals gone for you?”

Where Faranak writes of meeting her future husband for the first time, Kaveh’s meeting Alhaitham is recorded in a similar instance:

When comparing Faranak’s first impression of her future husband with that of Kaveh’s impression upon first meeting Alhaitham, the two are dissimilar. Kaveh notes that it is rare to meet someone of his intellect, and therefore appears to treasure the bond, whereas Faranak is seemingly indifferent to Kaveh’s father, but he appears to grow on her. In regard to Kaveh and Alhaitham’s relationship history as a whole, however, similarities can be noted.

Where Kaveh and Alhaitham fell out due to differing viewpoints and their inability to effectively communicate, Kaveh can be seen to not “think much” of Alhaitham’s perspective. When the two meet again in the future, this perception of Kaveh’s has the potential to become applicable only to a “younger [Kaveh]”, as Alhaitham is the only person whom he has formed an “intimate bond” with. Although Alhaitham will not be able to understand him in terms of empathy, Alhaitham can provide companionship, just as Kaveh’s father did for Faranak, which in turn, caused their relationship to develop into that of an “intimate bond”.

A parallel can be drawn between the bond Kaveh’s mother and father had, and the bond between Kaveh and Alhaitham. As although Alhaitham cannot understand Kaveh’s artistic struggles and his personal struggles of empathy, he supports Kaveh in trying to alleviate Kaveh’s suffering and his willingness to listen.

As Kaveh’s mother specifically highlights that it is not understanding which will help Kaveh, it is companionship, which draws strong links to the identified message in A Parade of Providence. As Alhaitham states that he knows that Kaveh will never understand Alhaitham’s way of thinking in regard to his own ideals, but that their relationship is not based upon who is right or wrong. A more in-depth analysis regarding this can be found here.

Alhaitham and Kaveh cannot understand each other in the sense that they can properly empathise and relate with each other’s way of thinking, but they can support one another in the progression of self, and ultimately be a constant source of support for the other. This is demonstrated in the elaboration of the bond between Kaveh’s mother and father, and the parallels drawn between Kaveh and his mother. Companionship is a solution for Kaveh’s mother just as it is for Kaveh.

This can be seen in Faranak’s drawing of a gathering and the picture obtained at Kaveh’s Hangout ending, ‘Leisurely Gathering’. The player is prompted to draw parallels between the people in the picture and the characters the player has met:

The photo shown parallels the ‘Leisurely Gathering’ ending route picture, as Kaveh is positioned where his father sat, and Tighnari, Alhaitham, and Cyno placed in accordance to where their fathers are placed. Rather than being turned away from Alhaitham, like Kaveh’s father is to Alhaitham’s father in the drawing, Kaveh and Alhaitham are centre frame, and their focus is on each other. Companionship then, whilst being this particular group of friends, particularly refers to that of the bond between Kaveh and Alhaitham. The dual meaning assigned to “companionship” means that both a romantic and platonic interpretation has been generated to apply here - another example of methods used to queercode Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship.

[shisasan]

Nikita Gill, Miracle Wild Embers: Poems of Rebellion, Fire and Beauty

[funeral]

In truth, the sadness and anxiety of existence has no reason. But that is its reason: that it has none. That it can hover over and in anything and everything and yet, refuses to properly justify itself. And because of this, we experience it. If it had a reason, it wouldn’t be so sad or miserable. Sadness, anxiety, and misery with an explanation is easy. Easy to track, source, justify, and potentially overcome. Sadness and anxiety with no clear reason is impossible. It’s like fighting air. And so, the absurd reasonless-ness of it becomes the worst possible reason.

Robert Pantano, Notes from the End of Everything

[chronokepts]

Paragon, the Mad Ship beached where the tide barely reaches it, risking demolition from those who would sell his parts, and requesting to be set ablaze — eventually in an act of love coming to wear the features of the Witted Bastard, a man set for an execution that would've seen him hanged above water, chopped up, and burned.

Paragon, dying, grasping the new life he was meant to, shaking off chips of wood like a dog shakes off droplets; like a wolf shakes off chips of stone.

[wordsbyt]

[dreamweave01]

The new one, where Wu isn't the one who found them

aaaaaaaa okay okay!

Basically, (as some context) there is a secret organization called the Golden Order who believe they were chosen by the [REDACTED] to protect [REDACTED] from its destruction.

Because of this "destiny" of theirs, they would be willing to do anything and everything it takes to save [REDACTED].

They also believe in the theory that [REDACTED] was created (mostly) with the elements fire, earth, ice, and lightning. Hence the belief that those four elements are theoretically the most powerful weapons against [REDACTED].

So if the Golden Order could harness these elements, they could essentially put a stop to any darkness that threatens their world, and possibly others.

However, when this idea was presented to the [REDACTED] and the children of the [REDACTED] after the events of the [REDACTED], they were entirely against the Order's idea, as the [REDACTED] considered their methods unethical and corrupt.

After that, the Golden Order seemingly disbanded, and the [REDACTED] never gave them a second thought.

Unbeknownst to them, the Golden Order hadn't gone anywhere, and had started researching the [REDACTED]'s lineage, and what made one more susceptible to inheriting the trait for [REDACTED] abilities.

As I said, the Golden Order were willing to do anything and everything to save [REDACTED], and believing that the [REDACTED] were pompous idiots who didn't understand destiny for what it truly was, they went forward with their plans, deciding to instead work with the next generation.

This led to the abductions of four young children, [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED],and [REDACTED].

Why these four?

They were the next line of [REDACTED] for Earth, Ice, Lightning, and Fire.

Of course, their [REDACTED] tried to find [REDACTED].

They were taken out before they could cause any problems for the Order's cause.

The children's entire identities were changed, replacing their names with C1-E, Z2-I, J3-L, and K4-F.

The easiest way to describe what these four endure thanks to the Golden Order is hell, with constant experimentation and rigorous testing.

They only have one another, seeing each other as family, as brothers even, down in this darkness they were forced to survive in.

And yeah, that's basically it!