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pastafossa · 3 months

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How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.

#writer's block #i am on step five if that's not obvious and that's ok #steps 1-4 got me through about 2 years of writing and over a hundred chapters. damn near a mill words.#so i'm VERY confident it works most of the time #or it does for me anyway #just. you know. not all the time #what's funny is i suspect if you read all of trt knowing the above #you'll SEE these moments #moments where i clearly hit a chapter i'd written ahead of time cause it had more detail or more excitement radiating in my notes #alternatively no one has any idea which ones are which which is even funnier to me #look i do not judge *anyone* who just can't do weekly chapter #the pandemic was a weird period where i had the time to do that and the management required to keep up with it outside then is intense #like it's possible. i was doing it before shit started going sideways last year cause that was NOT my year basically from july onwards #but just be kind to yourself about it #the story will come #and your readers will be there for it

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enhanced-operatives-division · 2 months

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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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wiseatom · 5 months

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me, stumbling out of [WORKPLACE REDACTED] covered in blood: tgif‼️

#me redacting my workplace as if it is not so incredibly easy to guess based on the everything about me and the fics i’ve written #i have had a work week from HELL i am so excited to be off for 2 days and read pjo and write and play zelda as a treat.#also i know that it’s not friday but my days off are monday and tuesday so it’s friday to ME.#while you all dread going back to work every sunday evening please spare a thought for thea wiseatom whose weekend is just beginning 🤍

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hella1975 · 6 months

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there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together #and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home #and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room #which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice #and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni #and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails #bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show #and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions #where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea #idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls #and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had #and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies #but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with #and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves #and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now #but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity #and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older #idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room)#it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening #i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :)#hella goes to uni #feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post

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buglaur · 1 year

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my first exam went really well!! one down nine to go. second one starts in an hour and a half

#it was so easy yesterday #answer these questions about why ai is bad for us #then tell me about a historical place of interest you visited #and then write me an essay about things that bring you wonder and excitement #and that was the whole exam #but i have english paper 2 today which is going to be hell on a page #write an essay about 6 poems from a mystery poet you wont know until you open the paper #then write this essay about macbeth #and lastly write an essay about the handmaids tale + philadelphia here i come + winter's bone and compare them all #i'm gonna be sitting in the damn exam hall until 5:20pm 😭#it should be fine tbh #once a good poet comes up #anon who sent me a message back in feburary also doing the leaving i wish you lucl #luck #non sims #text

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queenofbaws · 1 month

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Hi! For the ask game - 😂

Hope you're having an awesome week so far :)

ohohho!!! well thank you!!! my week's been slow and steady, and i'll take it! i hope YOURS has been treating you well too! :D

😂 a funny or crack WIP snippet

Travis pointed down at his hands. “What’s that?” “Uh…it’s a hunting knife?” “I—okay, yeah, thanks. What I meant is why do you have it?” “Then you shoulda said that, shit.” “Bobby.” Shrugging, he sank the blade into the watermelon like he was gutting a deer, dragging it down hard until his hands were sticky with juice. “Man, I dunno. No one tells me anything…thought I might need it tonight, that's all! And look, I kinda did!” He held a big, dripping hunk of melon out towards them, and after a second of staring, Chris took it. “You brought a hunting knife,” Travis repeated, sounding tired and beat, “but didn’t pull it when you walked in on that fight and saw Chris rolling around on the floor and me bleeding like a stuck pig. Is that what you’re telling me?” Mid-slice, he stopped, frowning over at him. “Why would I?” “To be fair,” Chris said through a mouthful of watermelon, “I wouldn’t say I was rolling on the ground. I’m pretty sure you gotta be able to breathe to roll. I was just sorta on the ground. Dying. Slowly.”

happy wip wednesday! feel free to ask me about some wips! ;P

#durorholmes #asks #queenie writes supermassive #the hacketts #oooooooooooooooh im so excited to get to this part aLKJFKLSJDFKJDSfkjsldfjskldjfksdjf #idk what it is. given. all the canon interactions we see. but.#i feel like any time two (2) of the hackett brothers are having a convo it's serious and angry and not entirely pleasant no matter the comb #but you throw that third brother in there and suddenly we're one step away from the three stooges aslkd IDK that's how it works with MY sib

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oreegaanoo · 2 months

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Once again I am fueled by comments from my thesis supervisor and feel like I can actually do this thing hell YEAAAAHHHH

I CAN WRITE THIS THING!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH

#imagine a drawing of me going all feral that's me rn #I get so hyped every time I meet him even though all his comments are like “this is okay” and “what did you mean by this”--#then followed up by discussions and improvement suggestions and I get so excited about writing it all suddenly #like!!! what is this!!!!#it's probably because I get to actually talk about my thesis and in detail with someone who understands it? probably?#most likely now that I think about it. I don't have a lot of friends who study the same thing so I can't talk about these things in depth #(but I'm also very happy to have those friends who don't understand but listen to my ramblings about it <3 )#p #and also also like. I am about 45 pages into this thing. I am so far. I have wanted to just drop it for the past month or so but!! I'm so--#--far!!! holy shit!!! that's amazing my guy!!! you're doing well!! just need the clean up and some clearer explanations and that's it #it's not going to be two more years of this it's going te 6 months MAX #most likely 4 months of work with 1-2 months after for the grading and checking process when i don't have to do shit #I only have this thesis; one essay that is 75% done; and one spanish course I'm taking end I'm done!!!! I will cry when that happens!!

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glasyasbutch · 16 days

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What Gets Left Behind (D&D Homework Week 1)

After James D'Amato's RPG Character Backstory Guide.

The last piece of Break that Day has left is the remains of her god piece. The shard of bone chipped off from the dead god's fossilized body that every Aegis gets implanted in them to bring their clay to life, and provide their magic, and link them to their past memories, and to the consciousness of every other Aegis.

The problem, of course, is that God may be infinite, but God's dead body is still a finite resource. Maybe they're not going to run out tomorrow, or soon, but they're going to run out eventually, and what happens then? The refusal of the Aegis to answer that question is what caused Day and Break to walk away the first time, and their stubborn refusal to acknowledge that Break had ever asked it is what caused Day to leave the second time.

A shattered god piece represents just about everything he found fault with in the Aegis, everything Break spent her life fighting against, which makes it all the more ironic that it's the only thing of hers that survived her destruction.

Former Flame

This object is related to a former passion. There was once something that moved you the way wealth, glory, or righteousness moves you now. Choose two five, then describe the detail in your own words: - I could not take this with me on the road. - My interest slowly waned over time until my heart had fully stolen away. - I could hold it in my hand and feel pride. - There were many in my life who smiled when they saw this. - Even now, I sometimes think of it during wistful nights. - This was crafted specifically for me with love. - I made this with my own hands.

"Her name, her full name, is 'Only once you break all earthly bond and dissolve into the astral sea shall you truly know god's fullness'. She went by many shortenings in the time I knew her. Earth, Bond, Sea, Full, True. Astral.

"Break.

"They were first created, the same as the rest of us, in a moment of pure divine desperation, by a god so angry at not being able to do anything that the earth itself rose up to enact His love for the mortal existence. They were created, the next five or so times, by His will as well. Struck down and melted into nothing but mud, only to reform in moments.

"After He was destroyed, we had to rely on each other for our creation. We took to building each other new forms each time one was lost, working together with careful eyes and hands to make sure all the details were just right. Whoever held them dearest would take the lead, their Sculptor. They had aid from the others, of course, we all cared a great deal for each other, and we'd spend a year working to get every last marking perfect. Then, on the final day, the ones among us with the steadiest hands would chip away a sliver of divinity from where he fell, sized to fit perfectly in your hand.

"We'd place it in their chest and stand by as the clay writhed and shuddered with new life, organs forming in the hollow chest cavity, blood pumping for the first time through empty veins, nerves exploding with sensation all at once. That was the most painful part, for them as well as their Sculptor, who would stand by and watch but know better than to touch them, as much as they might want to give comfort, as it might mar the clay that had not yet set.

"But it would pass. It would pass, and they would stand up and greet you with life in their chest again. You would know that you had done well when they smiled that same smile you'd been missing for a year and a day, and nothing had changed in a way that mattered.

"I sculpted her almost more times than I can remember, as she had sculpted me. Not every time, certainly not every time, but enough times that no one would challenge either of us for the role once we had claimed it. Hundreds of years of memories poured into her clay each time.

"She was everything to me - my mentor, my lover, my best friend, my protector, my partner, my guide, my creator, my creation. They were worth so much that I left our world with them, walked away from our demiplanar home and our life's work, just so that I would not have to leave their side.

"And there were no regrets in leaving. We found a new home, full of love and laughter even amongst the strife of adventure. Champion's Call, obviously. Everyone got along with her instantly, like she was meant to be there all along.

"Though my name is the one that evokes light, they were truly our beacon. Always the optimist, cool and calm against any threat, convincing the rest of us that we were going to fight and win and live through sheer will power. Outside of battle, the truest, kindest friend you could ask for. He was … our Break.

"She gave herself up for us, in the end. She stood between the planes so that we could all get out safe, running between two losing battlegrounds. They knew they could be rebuilt. They trusted me to remake them. And I did.

"But the things that allowed her to leave home the first time were … not quite so in this new form, and time had altered a few key factors in the social situation as well. So when I stepped back to rejoin my friends in retirement, she chose to remain behind."

Day sits for this interview, one of the few they ever managed to get pinned down for, formally describing their relationship with Break to some young and curious reporter with a notepad. It's uncomfortable, mostly because he's not used to this kind of attention the way the rest of the Call were. They all had the year after the planar split where they were hounded by people like this (and other, far less respectful ones) to get used to the questions and scrutiny. But Day had been doing as he described, a year and a day in the Aegis home plane, and only now was he facing the effects of his fame.

It feels strange to answer these questions, baring open the secrets of the Aegis. But then again, they've been around for hundreds of years, the legend is nothing new, and it's not like he's shared any details that people didn't already know at some point or another. Hopefully, he can end up correcting some of the truly egregious bits of misinformation out there.

Everything they say is all very formal, very planned (they sat down with Kez to practice their interview voice all of yesterday), just enough to make this reporter think they're getting the whole story. Just enough omission that they don't know where to ask the kind of prying questions that will really hurt to hear.

She fiddles with something in her hand as she talks, turning it over and over and over and over to keep calm. It looks like a stone, perhaps. Off white, rubbed smooth and shiny with wear. Sized perfectly to fit in her hand.

The reporter had eyed it when he slipped it out of his pocket before they sat down, but hadn't asked anything outright. "Just a worry stone," Day had told them, to keep them from getting curious later. "I'm not used to fame quite yet, still get anxious doing things like this - off the record, of course." This last bit said with a coy grin on Kez's advice, to imply that they're already quite comfortable, giving away perhaps a few extra details, so the reporter wouldn't feel the need to press for any.

"And I assume you miss her?" the reporter asks, eyes flitting up from their notepad for the first time in several minutes.

"You would assume correctly," Day answers, squeezing the item in her hand so tight it threatens to leave permanent marks in the clay of her palm. "Though, of course, I understand why she had to stay. And time has helped close the wound, at least part of the way."

"Do you think you'll ever see her again? That she'll leave - or that you'll return home?"

"Perhaps," and it's everything he can do not to shatter it, but he doesn't, he can't, it's all he has left of her. "I doubt she'll leave, but I may go back. Not any time soon though, I've got plenty of years still to keep the rest of the Call company out here before I go anywhere. And who's to say what will happen in those years to change my plans. We've already got one little one to see grow up, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were more soon."

Mention Callie getting pregnant if you need to change the subject, Kez had said. They'll drink that shit up like it's elvish firewine.

As promised, the reporter's eyebrows raise. "Are you implying the Edlynne family is expecting a second child?"

"No, no, not yet - at least as far as I'm aware." Day laughs, casually. The item is back to being turned, gently, between their fingers. "I'm just saying, Arthur and Callie have only fallen more in love in their retirement. Anything could happen."

The rest of the interview floats by, mostly questions about what it felt like to talk to a god as someone who was a direct creation of a god (intimidating, still), and whether they've visited any of the now-missing planes in any of their lifetimes (about half of them), and who in the Call would win at charades (Kez, not because of skill, but because of stubborn rules lawyering).

The interviewer stands up to shake their hand, Day returns the favor, and then quickly ducks out of the room, leaving them alone to gather their things in the parlor of Kez's tower. She's waiting for Day just up the stairs, arms ready for a hug that Day practically falls into. There's no tears, but there is a heaviness to it, enough that Kez has to guide them over to a chair and settle down across Day's lap, or else she wouldn't have been able to hold on to him.

"Why does it hurt so much to talk about?" Day mutters into their shoulder.

"Because it was everything, and now it's over." Kez's tone is soft, despite the matter-of-factness of their words. They've already had this conversation, several times, it's not like Day needs to hear the message. Just their voice.

"How on earth did you sit through so many of those things without losing it?"

"I was on WAYYYYYYY more drugs than you are right now, Daisy. Or drunk. Or both. Do you want something?"

"No. Maybe. No. … Later." Day repositions her head, unburying her face from his shoulder, turning sideways to press her cheek to his chest. She can hear his heartbeat, steady, strong, alive. "Can we just sit here for a bit?"

"Of course," Kez murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Day's head before threading a hand into their hair, keeping their head close.

They lightly squash and reform the locs beneath their fingertips, methodically working one of the more mold-able areas of clay in that way Day's always found calming. He hums contentedly, almost on cue. The godpiece is still in his hand, slung around Kez's back and resting near their hip.

He starts turning it over again, spinning with the same rhythm as Kez's fingers in his hair. He knows there's nothing there, really, but he can swear he feels a bit of energy sparking through it, into his hand. For a moment, just a moment, he can pretend all three of them are in one room again.

Broken Shackle

Before your life on the road, you suffered a persistent dread that you would end up condemned to a life of unnoticed misery. You were reminded of this fear every time you touched this object. Roll a d6 or choose, then describe the detail in your own words: - This was part of a profession you are glad to have escaped. - It was a way for society to punish what it did not understand. - Every detail whispers the dark promise of tedium. - Its delicate features make your strong hands feel ugly and unworthy. - It looked old and broken before you ever touched it and it looks much the same now. - This was given to you by someone with love in their eyes and pride in their heart.

The second to last look that Break ever held on her face was fear.

Fear that it would all be for nothing, that their little family would be torn apart if Thorn and Kez couldn't scramble through fast enough, that the cracks she could already feel climbing up her arms as she baked in the radiation of the space between planes would give out too soon and the rift would collapse and something devastating would happen.

Fear that she would not be strong enough to commit herself to this.

But that look faded quick enough, as she manged to stretch her hand out and yank Thorn through the portal, collapsing under the weight now borne on only one shattering arm.

They were all safe, she had kept them safe, she had kept the world safe. The planes were going to rip apart, and she was not going to get out in this last half a second, but that didn't matter in the slightest. She could see them all standing together, staring at her, in various stages of horror as they figured out what was happening.

Don't worry, she wants to say, but there isn't time. It doesn't hurt, she promises. I know what I'm doing, she thinks.

I chose this. I chose you. Every day I chose you, and I would never not choose you.

Do you believe me? I need you to believe me.

Everything I feel for you, it's written in my heart, in my core. If it's the last thing I do, I will give it to you, to make sure you believe me.

It's here, in my chest, Day put it there years ago. It's under my sternum. I can feel the cracks forming. The air's already hitting it, three inches deep.

Someone catch it, when I go.

Take it, hold it, feel it, so you know how much I cared for you, what I would have done for you, how I would have stood here crumbling for a thousand years for you, if it came to it. Take it and know, and let those sad, scared looks fall off your faces.

Don't worry. It doesn't hurt. I know what I'm doing.

I chose this. I chose you.

The last look Break ever held on her face was love.

Ghostly Comfort

Even if you despised your former life, there was at least one bright spot. What purpose did this serve? Choose one, then describe the detail in your own words: - It helped me sleep. - It reminded me of those I have lost. - It was a glimmer of beauty lost in ugliness. - It eased my pain.

They were in love until they weren't, because Day became too different of a person in the aftermath to feel those feelings the way he used to, they way they were expecting him to, like nothing had changed. He could fall back into the routine easy enough for a moment, a day, a week. But it was never going to be permanent. It was never going to be the way it used to be.

In the years since, you have tried unsuccessfully to recreate what you derived from this object. Write about the moment when you decided to discard your most recent attempt.

He tried pretty recently to reconnect, then ended up scrapping it and throwing it away: https://glasyasbutch.tumblr.com/post/748899769588596736/findings-in-the-waste-paper-basket-of-a-particular

Alternate answer, he tried pretty recently to reconnect, then ended up scrapping it and throwing it away:

"It really made me realize something, Kez, and you need to hear it. But you're going to hate it, so it's a good thing I'm telling you now, because I'm about to walk out that door and leave so you can get mad and strawman me as much as you need until you really process what I said to you ..."

#sorry its 2 weeks late i had to write 2k of prose. you understand.#also excited to see what everyone thinks of the Implications of the final alternate answer.#about. a thing. that reminds him of all the love he lost.#:)#day #daybreak #narrative campaign

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