#extra ass bitch 😂😂

[alex-turners-world]

Help 💀💀

[604to647]

Safest with You - Ch. 1 (The Coffeeshop)

1.4K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: A handsome stranger helps you out with an unfortunate situation at the coffeeshop before work.

Warnings: None? I guess some jerk yells at a cute old lady 😢 so a wee bit of protective Din as well. (No smut, just a meet cute! Gonna be a slow burn, folks!)

A/N: Finally, I'm doing it! This is the start of the Modern AU I'm trying to build; Din is a retired mob enforcer for the Fett family, but they still call him in periodically when they need his strategic know how and/or extra muscle. He never says no - they're his family 🥹 For this meet cute, he's on a job downtown; I say they're in the financial district because I imagine Reader working in a corporate office with a finance related job she loves (she has a methodical mind!), but it’s not really important so you can imagine any office job 😊. There's no implied age gap, so I consider her as either well established or rising in her career. In other words, she's an independent woman and don't need no man 😂

Also I always use this super cute heart divider by @saradika (thank you!)

Series Masterlist

It’s crazy busy in this coffee shop.  Not unexpected of course; the local chain has some of the best coffee in the city, and this particular location is its only one in the downtown financial district.  Everyone, including yourself, was here to get their caffeine fix before heading into the office for the day.

Well, not everyone, you smile to yourself.  The little old lady in front of you doesn’t seem to be in any rush at all; you overhear her ordering her cappuccino in a ‘for here’ mug and a slice of coffee cake “as a treat”, and you’re glad someone, at least, will be having a nice leisurely morning.  When she’s finished at the till, you order and pay for your latte, then make your way to the waiting area where several other patrons are awaiting their orders.

“Ice Quad Espresso in a Venti cup, extra ice and six shots!”

Whoa. That’s a drink, you chuckle to yourself.  Someone must be preparing for a whole ass day.  You look up to see who might collect that caffeine bomb, and can’t help but admire the tall, broad-shouldered stranger who’s flashing the barista a devastatingly handsome smile and a nod of thanks.  Maybe it’s your own lack of caffeine, but you might be gawking a little at the way his wavy dark hair is peppered with grey (a few stray curls seem to stick out in the cutest way possible) and start to think it would be soft to run your hands through.  The fluffy hair matches nicely with his salt and pepper facial hair, neat but not perfectly trimmed, which for some reason you think suits him – he doesn’t look like he has to try very hard to look so adorable.  You’re snapped out of your daze when three more orders are called out in rapid succession, including your own and the little old lady’s.  Both of you, as well as a thin man in an ill-fitting grey suit approach the coffee bar to collect your drinks.  You were the closest, so you reach the counter first, collect your latte and step back to allow room for the others.  The thin man, however, apparently can’t wait and rushes forward to try and push past the old lady, just as she is turning around to look for a seat.  You watch in horror as they crash directly into each other and the old lady’s porcelain mug spills the entirety of its contents on the man before falling to the ground and shattering.  Shocked by the sudden impact, the thin man then flails out his arms, knocking both the old lady and her plate off balance, the latter slipping from her grasp and breaks on the ground as well.  Rushing forward, you help steady the old lady with one hand on her back and letting her grip your other arm.  Thankfully, you’re able to hold her steady and not drop your own drink.  “Are you okay?”, you ask.  Shaking a bit, the old lady nods, “Yes, dear.”

“You fucking bitch!”

Shocked, you look up and see the thin man glaring at the old lady while using his free hand to uselessly try and brush away the coffee that is dripping down the front of his suit jacket.  From the corner of your eye, you see the profile of the handsome Quad Ice man as he takes one step forward to intervene, but you beat him to the punch. “Excuse you?  You don’t fucking talk to her like that!”, you say with a bite to your tone.  How dare this effing guy?

“Look at this fucking mess!  She ruined my suit!”

“I’m sor-”, you hear the old lady start to say, so you place a reassuring hand on her arm, hopefully conveying that she doesn’t have to apologize to this neanderthal.  Stepping between the two of them, you look directly at the jerk and extend an accusing finger in his direction, “It was an accident! Which wouldn’t have happened if you had just waited your turn.”

“I’m in a hurry!  Some of us have very important meetings to get to.  And now the meeting is completely ruined because of this fucking mess!”

This guy.  You roll your eyes.  “If the people you work with don’t respect you because of a little bit of coffee on your clothes then you have much bigger problems.” And with that, you’re done with him, turning and crouching down to help the old lady who has unnecessarily started to try and clean the mess. 

Your back is turned, so you don’t know if the thin man tried to approach or if he had started to say something, but you hear a deep, rich voice from above say with quiet authority, “You owe both these women an apology.”  Looking up, you see the the imposing figure of the Quad Ice stranger standing over you and the old lady, almost protectively, shielding you both from the thin man’s view.  The hand not holding his crazy drink order is clenched in a tight fist; his hands are huge and you can see a scars of varying sizes and age littered over his knuckles. You know without a doubt that this man knows how to fight.  There’s a energy radiating from the man towering above you; you don’t know how to explain it, but it doesn’t feel dangerous?  Instead, it feels warm and you instinctively know you’re safer having him there. 

Regardless, you don’t want this cute old lady’s morning ruined any further so you decide it’s better to diffuse.  Touching his clenched fist and smiling softly when you have Quad Ice’s attention, you let him know to let it go, “It’s really okay.  Do you mind grabbing me a few napkins?”  His gaze down on you is soft, yet still protective; however, he takes his cue from your expression and lets the thin man leave, before bringing you a stack of paper napkins and squatting down to help.

“You shouldn’t have to help, dear.”

You give the old lady’s arm a gentle squeeze to wave off her concern, and you and Quad Ice start carefully picking up pieces of porcelain and putting down napkins to soak up the spilled coffee.  You reach over and put your hand gently over his, “Careful, it’s sharp.”  He gives you a smile and nods. 

Finally, a staff member comes over with a mop and lets the three of you know you don’t need to clean up any more and gives thanks.

As Quad Ice goes to throw away the porcelain pieces you’ve been collecting in a napkin, the old lady exclaims, “Oh no!  My dear, I got you too!”  You look down and see that you do indeed have a giant coffee stain near the hem of your skirt.  Oops! You don’t want her to feel bad though, “Oh, it’s okay!  I've done worse.  Don’t worry, I have a very friendly dry cleaner.”  You try your best let her know you’re not bothered, but the old lady still looks devastated.

“Come now, let’s make sure you get your morning treat.”  To distract her, you gently steer the old lady back to the till and order another cappuccino and coffee cake for her.  You absolutely insist on paying, hoping to help make up for the terrible morning she’s had so far.  She tries to argue, but the kind barista lets you both know it’s on the house and then that’s that.  After you've walked the old lady to the waiting area, you look at your phone, and realize you need to leave if you’re going to make the first meeting of your day, “Here’s where I have to leave you!  I hope your day gets much better from here.”

The old lady gives you her sincerest thanks, but you’re still somewhat reluctant to leave her.  From behind you, a familiar voice says in a comforting tone, “I’ll make sure she’s okay.”  You turn around to see that Quad Ice hasn’t left and is giving you a warm smile, as if he knows how worried you still are and wants to put your mind at ease.  The little old lady is now nodding reassuringly at you as well, and with that, you give the handsome stranger’s forearm a light squeeze as a thanks and you say good bye to them both.

---

As you take your first sip of coffee while sitting down to your meeting, you can’t help but recall the stranger’s deep chocolate brown eyes and the warmth they exuded in that last look he gave you and you wish you at least knew his name.

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

I Forget Where We Were

2.3k/ joel miller x f!reader / MINORS DNI 

summary: life with Joel from the start. Be kind please- this is my first piece and has taken 6 months of courage🤍

Chapter Four: In Dreams

Always a thing of wonder, the way we come to be

what to expect: you experience feelings of anxiety with the sudden new relationship. Joel is patient and teaches you to embrace this. 

warnings: bad language i guess idk?😂fluff, dad!joel,lover boy joel, no specific physical description of reader, female reader (please let me know if there is anything I’m missing, I will elaborate as the series goes on) no outbreak, age gap (reader is mid 20s and Joel is mid 40s), kinda cheesy joel, previous hurt and potential trauma for reader, emotionally intelligent baby boy, intense emotions, anxiety,angst but happy ending(i got you), parental loss, parental estrangement, Tommy being a wind up, vivid description of m/f sex and foreplay, unprotected piv (stay safe pls), 

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

‘Morning baby’ Joel shouted down the phone. You winced as you answered the phone call, which wasn’t entirely welcome at 6:30am on a Saturday.

‘Hey doll, I miss you. Wish I could wake up next to you again’ you whispered. 

‘I’ll come by to pick you up later for dinner, if you want, Sarah wants to see your big girl house’ Joel chuckled.

You heard your heart beat in your ears and every pulse point in your body jumping through your skin.

‘Erh… it’s fine. I’ll make my own way. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea’ you instantly regretted your choice of words, and felt guilty for almost shunning Sarah.

‘Baby, what’s going on?’ Joel panicked, digging into the source of your sudden change of heart.

‘I just can’t deal with this first thing in the morning, I’ll speak to you later.’ you hung up, tears forming in your eyes and dread washing over you, replacing the colour in your face. You cried and eventually fell back to sleep.

30 minutes later you woke back up, remembering your outburst, you felt like the coldest bitch in the world. You checked your phone: 

Joel- ‘I’m on my way x’ 

Sent 15 minutes ago.

You sighed, partly with relief, partly with anxiety of facing up to your skewed view of love.

The intercom buzzed, and you answered Joel, and headed to the balcony to wave him in.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

He looked even more handsome than he did the day you met. Joel pulled your frame into his chest, and stroked your hair, as you breathed in his comforting scent. You stroked the side of his face, and he lifted you up and kissed you. 

‘Let’s go talk’ he held your hand, and playfully smacked your ass as you walked with him into the living room.

You grabbed the coffee mugs from the side and handed one to Joel. He patted his thigh as you sat next to him and draped your legs across his lap. He rubbed his calloused hands up and down your legs, and intently watched you as you gazed at him lovingly.

‘What’s going on baby?’ he asked. 

‘I’m scared. I can’t stop thinking that this is too good to be true and it’ll just end in broken hearts. I don’t want to let you down, I don’t want to let Sarah down. I can’t even start to believe that I’m worthy of you’ your chin wobbled as you admitted your fears.

He sighed and pulled you closer, ‘I’m not going to hurt you. From the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you would be everything to me. I know it’s overwhelming baby, I really do. I know having Sarah is scary, as it’s an extra person to take into account, but she’ll love you. You’ll love her. You’re all we’ve ever wanted.’

‘You really mean that? I’m just not used to this. Anyone else would have punished me for how I feel.’ you held his hand tightly, and he squeezed your hand back.

‘My heart is yours baby. Come tonight, come see Sarah. She’s eager to meet you. For an 8 year old, she’s too intelligent for her own good. Hasn’t stopped asking since she heard the conversation about you between me and her uncle Tommy. We’ll look after you, if it’s too much, you can go. I mean it though. I want you in my life forever.’ A weight lifted and you smiled at him, through wet lashes and the debris of the walls that started to crumble down. 

‘I’ll see you both later’ you kissed him and hugged him goodbye, and started to clean the apartment before leaving for the evening.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You spent the afternoon  sunning yourself on the balcony, taking in the texan heat.

You showered, did your hair and makeup, and went with a white summer dress and a matching white bow to clip your curled hair back,

Your sprayed yourself with your favourite perfume, grabbed the beers you bought for Joel and the basket of princess themed snacks and magazines for Sarah, and made your way to the truck where Joel and Sarah waited for you.

Joel stood leaning against his truck with a bunch of roses in hand. Sarah escaped the back seat and ran towards you, much to Joel’s surprise and to your pure delight. You kneeled down to scoop Sarah into your arms as she dived into you for a cuddle. Joel followed and gave you a hug and a kiss to your forehead.

‘She’s pretty Daddy, you and Uncle Tommy were right’ she giggled and held your face between two tiny hands.

‘Not as pretty as you, Princess Sarah’ you winked ‘should we get going, missy?’

Joel watched with pride as you juggled your gifts and Sarah, and strapped her into the car seat.

You sat in the passenger seat, your pinky finger laced around Joel’s finger. 

You all erupted into fits of laughter with Sarah mispronouncing words and asking you all sorts of questions about Disney and being a ‘big girl’ as she says.

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You all made it home, and Sarah dragged you by the hand to the end of the garden to show you ‘where the fairies lived.’ Everything shone brighter with Sarah narrating the way she saw the world. All the anxiety melted away, and you felt an instinct to love and cherish this baby forever.

Joel called you after setting up to cook, and gave you a glass of merlot. You reached up on your tip toes, kissed him and whispered ‘I think I’m in love with you.’ 

His world stood still as he stared at you with his mouth open and your hand in his. You winked, smiled and waltzed off to see Sarah again. His life was complete and he felt euphoric. He knew he was in love with you.

Joel tried to get back to Earth and  cooked dinner. He went outside to find you, where he heard you and Sarah in deep conversation. 

You were sat cross legged on the sun lounger, with Sarah crouched opposite you whilst you coloured in together. Joel sat by the patio door on the step, mentally capturing every second so he’d have this memory for eternity.

‘I can’t believe you’re a real life princess’ Sarah said. ‘Is your Mommy a princess too?

‘I don’t have a Mommy, my darling. She died when I was very little’ you held your breath for Sarah’s reaction. 

‘I don’t have a Mommy either- Daddy loves and looks after me enough for two’ Sarah giggled, her innocence cracking your heart and forming a lump in your throat.

Joel had to clear his throat to stop him crying. This information was new to him, and he saw you as the most fragile china doll.

‘Dinner’s ready, girls’ Joel called, coughing as his voice cracked through tears. 

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · · 

Joel sat opposite you, and you played with his feet through his socks with your bare toes under the table. His jaw ticked as he tried to keep his composure, watching you smile with Sarah and ask them both about their days and what they loved about it.

‘I’m done Daddy, can I go and watch Moana?’ Sarah yawned.

‘30 minutes baby, then it’s bath time.’

Sarah nodded and skipped through to the living room. You picked up the plates and began to clear up the mess. 

‘Did I say you could leave the table?’ Joel teased.

You rolled your eyes and walked over to Joel and whispered in his ear, ‘Thank you for dinner, Daddy.’

Joel’s face turned to stone and a bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. He grabbed your wrist and pulled him into you, ‘I’ll deal with you later’ he growled, as he bit onto your bottom lip.

You giggled and cleaned the kitchen for Joel, after much deliberation and arguing about if this was acceptable.

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Sarah was tucked up in bed, and you and Joel sat on the porch drinking wine and laughing about life. 

‘I know I love you’ Joel declared.

‘Me too’ you replied ‘Me too baby.’

‘Sarah seems to love you too.’

‘I would do anything for that girl.’

Joel held your hand, and you moved to sit on his lap.

‘You feeling okay?’he asked as he kissed across your collarbone.

‘I’ve never been happier, my love’ you smiled, as you kissed his dark lips.

‘Get a damn room,’ Tommy yelled as he walked up the drive.

You jumped out of your skin and gave him the finger, suddenly feeling like you’d known this man and his ways all your life. You got up and went to cuddle him as he picked you up and twirled him. 

‘Now I might take you home for myself’ Tommy drawled, nodding at Joel who laughed and stood up.

‘Get fucked’ Joel said, as he got Tommy in a headlock and dragged him inside.

‘Want a beer, Tom?’ Joel called from the kitchen.

‘Yeah go on then brother’ Tommy responded.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Tommy and Joel laughed til they cried, sharing stories and tales with you. You laughed til your stomach hurt,and continued to feel lighter and lighter as you realised this was where you were meant to be.

‘Well you finally made it big brother,’ Tommy slapped his thighs and stood up, getting ready to leave. 

‘I told you she’d be mine’ Joel shrugged.

‘I’ll see you out, Tommy’ you said as Joel went to grab you more wine and Tommy said his goodbyes.

You got to the front door, and hugged Tommy goodbye. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’ 

‘Joel’s pretty certain on keeping you around, don’t think you can avoid me’ Tommy winked, just like his brother, and left.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The sun had set, and the crickets were chirping. You started to yawn, and tried to tell Joel you had to make your way home.

‘Stay here, baby’ he persuaded.

‘You can wear an old shirt to bed, and I’m sure we can find some toiletries’

‘You don’t have to ask me twice’ you kissed Joel on the cheek, and he scooped you up in his arms to carry you to bed.

His bedroom was exactly how you imagined. Dark wood furniture, black bedsheets and tobacco and oud scented candles. Flannel shirts sprawled on a rocking chair, and framed pictures of Sarah on a feature wall.

He layed on his back, arms folded behind his head, and you walked to the foot of his bed and you slowly crawled between his spread legs up toward his chest and kissed the top of his head. He kissed your chest, spilling out of your dress, and unzipped the back of it. 

You sat up, knees either side of his hips. Joel traced a finger down your sternum, towards the navel piercing you had and down towards the hem of your white lace underwear.

You felt his bulge grow beneath you, as you threw your head back and grinded against his jeans.

Joel wrapped his arms round you and flipped you over onto your back. You pawed at his bulge with your toes and he stripped down to his boxers.

‘Now you see what happens when you call me Daddy’ he growled into your ear. 

You gulped and whimpered. ‘That’s okay baby, I’m going to look after you.’he cooed.

He nibbled at your earlobe, breathing in your amber perfume and vanilla scented hair.

Joel delicately placed kisses on your neck, and covered the whole of your torso with his love.

‘I need you, Joel’ you begged.

The carnal urge took over and he tore your underwear off as he savoured your the wet between your legs. He held your hands as he drew circles on your clit with his tongue before adding two fingers inside you and drew an orgasm out of you. Your body shook as you legs tensed over his shoulders. He licked his lips and sucked his fingers vulgarly. He kissed you deeply ‘There’s my good girl. Can I fuck you yet?’

Your eyes rolled back from the pure filth coming from his mouth. You nodded. His cock was now coated in the mess from your orgasm, and he thrusted deep inside you, forcing you to sit up and wrap your arms round his neck. You bit down onto his shoulder and he fucked you hard and fast, propped on his knees and your legs wrapped round his waist, suspended in the air supported by his strength. 

You moaned in his ear and he moaned back ‘I love you.’

He pressed his lips to yours and your tongues tangoed around eachother. Messy, and urgent. He laid you down and slowed his pace as he brushed some hair out of your face.

‘I’d give anything to look at you like this every day for the rest or my life’ Joel struggled to get his breath back.

‘Make me yours’ you wriggled down the bed to get Joel’s full length deep inside you.

He moaned your name and began to fuck you hard again. He came and you were now bonded to him in the most intimate way.

Joel lifted your legs off his shoulders and kissed the soles of your feet as he got off the bed to grab a warm flannel, a glass of water and an old t-shirt.

You turned on your side, propped up by your elbow and faced Joel, ‘Thank you for making life so beautiful.’

He smiled ‘You’ve answered my prayers darling.’

Joel patted his chest and you rested your head upon him. ‘Sweet dreams angel baby’

For once, your world felt at peace.

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[lavaflowe]

JTTW BOOK CLUB

CHPT 7-9

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chpt 7

•”All this was probably refined in his stomach by the Samadhi fire to form a single solid mass” I know other deities can use the fire but I’m wracking my brain for when it used before(this point) specifically- My understanding was the furnace refined the immortal elixirs and fruit- I’m going to assume Laozi is just theorizing and doesn’t know what actually happened

•Diamond body….👀

•Erlang gets absolutely DRIPPED out, he earned it FR

•eyes permanently irritated by the smoke churned up the the Xun trigram, someone get this man some eye drops

•he is extra pissed

•HE JUST BODIES LAOZI IM YELLING😂

•”this cosmic being fully fused with nature’s gifts passes with ease through 10,000 toils and tests”

•Big war form out to beat serious ass, he’s not jokin bitch

•” bright and luminous; ….illustrious pearl of mani he is indeed” MMMMM comparing him to a mani- a flaming (wish granting) jewel is hilarious 💀

•Tathagata bringing in the big guns (himself)

•”how tf do you know The Way and not know who I am?? And you’re so….violent” I can sense the side eye

•I wonder if Wukong has previous incarnations?? Buddha says he just reached human form this incarnation but if his rock was there at the beginning of creation, wouldn’t his soul be ‘baking’ (for lack of a better term) the whole time until he hatched?

•” and with a total lack of respect he left a bubbling pool of monkey urine” Iconic moment LMAOOOO

•smart for Wukong to leave a momento- too bad it didn’t matter lol

•ah so he was jumping to visit the pillars again, not run away(supposedly)- he’d rather prove he’s right than escape💀 that checks out

•monkey has been squished, it is now party o’clock

•are you allowed to give the Buddha drugs if it’s an offering? Like wine??🤔 “wtf is this allowed? Wtf”

•”Wukong is wiggling out”

“Dw, take this”

*slaps tag on the mountain like flex tape*

•enough room to breathe and move his hands- I would lose my mind

•Molten copper & iron pellets mimic punishments in hell (just learned this🙏), shedding the Karma like water -I feel like 500 years is pretty good tbh considering everything

Woe molten metal and iron upon ye

Chpt 8 + 9 under cut:

Chpt 8:

•lots of lovely poems in this chapter

•a paragraph recap of the past 7 chapters

•wonder what Feast of the Ullambana Bowl is? (the notes say it’s a mass for the dead and is also know as the Ghost festival, practiced by Taoists and Buddhists)

•”the Chan mind shines bright like a thousand rivers’ moon; true nature’s pure and great as an unclouded sky.”

Lovely poem, and I’m beginning to realize this book is very heavily focused on the Chan school, which I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on sooner? White-Robed Guan Yin is a Chan specific form, usually depicted in their bamboo grove

•Tathagata reveals his 3 baskets of scripture after everyone is done presenting their poems, feels almost like he suggested the celebration to announce these

•Each basket corresponds to scriptures of Heaven, Earth, and the Damned- a total of 15,144 FUCKING SCROLLS

•oooo Guanyin poem!! “ a golden body filled with wisdom, fringes of dangling pearls and jade, …dark hair piled smartly in a coiled-dragon bun. With brows of new moon shape and eyes like two bright stars, her jadelike face beams natural joy. …Her orchid heart delights in green bamboos; her chaste nature loves the wisteria. The living Guanyin from the Cave of Tidal Sound.”

•5 Talismans: Embroidered Cassock that will protect him from falling back into the Wheel of Transmigration, a 9 ring priestly staff that will protect him from poison or harm, 3 tightening fillets- the Golden, the Constructive, and the Prohibitive Spell.

•Guanyin thinks this will take about 2 to 3 years💀 hooooo boy….

•FLOWING SAND RIVER!!! MY 2ND FAV BOY!!!

•Green and Black complexion, Gleaming eyes like the lights beneath a stove, forked mouth with teeth like knives and swords, and disheveled red hair

•like that Wujing is using a priest staff he def took from one of the monks he ate lol

•Wujing fighting Moksa for his life only to drop everything to apologize and talk to Guanyin LMAO

•MOKSA PICKS HIM UP BY THE COLLAR AKFKAKDJDJ

•ah, so Wujing didn’t reincarnate, he was changed, STABBED OVER 100 TIMES EVERY 7 DAYS AND FORCED TO COMMIT CANNABILSM SO HE DOESNT STARVE AS PUNISHMENT- THATS JUST LOVELY😭

•I like the interpretation that he could have been trying to signal a coup by breaking the crystal cup

•Guanyin hearing about Wujing’s string of skulls: it’s a surprise tool that will help us later

•BAJIE TIME

•this idiot bro “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET FLOWER PETALS IN MY EYES!!” “IDIOT THAT WAS GUANYIN” “…Guanyin is here??” “LOOK UP”

•Wuneng is reincarnated, he got beat to death in Heaven for hitting on Chang’e LMAOOOOO GET REKT

•ah yes, casually mentions killing his pig family and then his life of eating humans. Lovely.

•AO LIE TIME

•I committed a little accidental arson, please bail me out

•Damn, he got a really short intro

•interesting that Guanyin id’s the Peach Banquet as Wukongs fall from grace. I would def agree with this- eating the peaches like he did was extremely reckless and the beginning of the end imo

•”who tf is talking shit up there”

•No one has ever visited Wukong, I’m guessing the Guards were horrible company

•I like how both Guanyin and Sanzang try to give Wukong a religious name- Guanyin is very happy to hear he has the Wu- prefix as well lol

•arrived in Chang’an, let the hunt begin

Chpt 9:

•Chang’an bb, all blooming flowers surrounded by 8 rivers (DAMN, that’s a lot of water)

•Guangrui got first place in the examination, good for him UwU

•SURPRISE WIFE

•”gave the girl to Guangrui as his bride” UM I THINK SHES THE ONE WHO GRABBED HIM LMAO

•Guangrui has some fated beef with these two random boatmen, Liu Hong and Li Biao- states that he was destined in a previous incarnation to be enemies with them, is this a result of bad karma?

•NOOOOOO MY GUY GUANGRUI

•Liu Hong reminds me of Liu’er Mi-*gunshot*

•since they’re at the bottom of the Hong river, which Dragon King is this?

•Golden Carp coming in clutch, nice

•LADY YIN IS SO METAL LETS GO “she hated the bandit so bitterly that she wished she could devour his flesh and sleep on his skin” DO IT GURL, KILL HIM

•damn, too bad she’s pregnant with Sanzang….dw Girl I know you would kick his ass otherwise…

•there goes his toe…

•get named River Float idiot

•damn bro chill, that wasn’t very monk-like of you

•homie got called an orphan and cried JAKDJSJFJ I FEEL BAD

•she didn’t even check the toe I THOUGHT SHE DID- WHAT WAS THE POINT LMAO

•nvmnd

•I guess licking the eyes is better than spitting on them…sigh…

•GODDAMN THEY RIPPED LIU HONG AND LI BAIO APART….good for them, deserved in fact

•Lady Yin committing suicide even after she was reunited with her husband makes sense, as there was a trend where wives whose husbands died or they were assaulted, killed themselves. This was show loyalty to their husbands and add weight to their claim of SA- Lady Yin’s husband coming back does not change the fact that everyone knows she was forcefully married :((

(I use the term ‘trend’ only as a way to describe the rise and fall in wife suicides tied to either a husbands death or as a response to SA)

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 437 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Sorry guys, late once again because I had a test today. But damn… Jihan ambitious? 👀

DAAAAAAAAAMN, THAT’S RIGHT. GET BITCH SLAPPED!!!

TELL ME WHY THAT PANEL REMINDED ME OF THIS??? HAHAHAHAHAHA THEY HAD A WILL SMITH AND CHRIS ROCK MOMENT. 💀💀💀💀💀 I BET PTJ USED THIS SCENE AS A MODEL. BUT IF HE REALLY DID, THEN IMMA BE CRYING TEARS.

Damn. So, my question is... are they all brothers or something? And how are they even family related? Is he their uncle? Am I missing something here? 😭😭 Can one of y'all let me know who this Jichang mf is to them? *am confusion* (Update: I forgot "Hyungnim" is a term for older brother. My dumbass... ignore me. I haven't been watching k-dramas anymore so I forgot. My bad.)

OK MAN, LISTEN. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN... I DO ADMIT. YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. BUT IF YOU DO THAT TO JAY ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR. IMMA-

This dude is thriving now, but when Jay pummels him... WHEEEEWWWWWWWWWW I CAN'T WAIT TO SIP OUTTA MY FANCY ASS WINE GLASS JUST TO SEE HIM ON THE GROUND.

YEEEESSSSSS JAYYYYY!!! ATTACK HIMMMM!!! BEAT HIM WITH SYSTEMA!!! 😤👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Omg, I can't wait to see him use Kali Arnis. represent 🇵🇭

Oh, sorry. Those were my boobs, my bad. It caught you off guard tho, right? 👁👁

Um... B O I. Your picture would appear under the word "ignorant" because you have no idea who you're messing with. 💀💀💀 YOU'RE LITERALLY, FIGHTING WITH H GROUP CHAIRMAN'S SON. WDYM? You have no idea how much power this kid has, let alone his own PROWESS. 🤡 Also, if this boy Jihan doesn't stop wrecking Jay...

Get it? Since, Jay is already HARMED... then Jihan is about to catch these MF HANDS EITHER WAYYYYY!!!! 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

BRUH, I'LL END YOU! TF???

Oh great, it's the smartass twink again...

Has anyone noticed how big Mandeok's hair is? That it's even protruding out of the panel? PTJ you comedic genius...

Oh, wouldn't you like to know? Eugene...

Damon Goh's rubber duck must know some secrets. I bet it even knows the secret to the two bodies AND stuff about Charles Choi. You never know where it might have gone off to. Ooooouuu, it said, "I'm a detective." 😎 And I love how goofy Mandeok can be, even when he's unintentionally funny. Like, man's got the humor and all without him even knowing. (For instance, there's a panel in Ep. 373, which was the chapter when Daniel moves into the Workers' Casino and both Eugene & Mandeok welcome him. Then all of a sudden, Mandeok just grabs onto Daniel then physically shakes him upside-down because Eugene said it's for security purposes. 😂)

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THIS DILF IS ACTUALLY A FRIEND OF ALEXANDER SOPHIA'S???? OMGGGGG BRUH. YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW I SCREAMED WHEN EUGENE MENTIONED PARK JINCHEOL. HONESTLY, I LOVE THE PTJ UNIVERSE SM. CONNECTING ALL WORLDS INTO ONE LIKE THEY IN SOME MARVEL UNIVERSE. 😭😭😭

DON'T MIND ME SKIPPING THE PARTS WHEN JAY WAS GETTING BEATEN, BUT YEEEEEEEEEEEE BOIIIIIIIII. TIME TO GET WACKED!!!!! 😆😆😆

"To think you'd look for a woman late at night, Jay Hong." ... hmmm. That line really stuck with me. I've been rereading that over and over again to the point that I lost count. So... does Alexander Sophia know or had a feeling that Jay is...? 😳

AWWWWWW HELL YEAH, THERE'S AN UPGRADED VERSION OF ALEXANDER'S KALI ARNIS!!! THAT'S SO COOOOOOL!!! 🤩🤩🤩

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS JAYYYYYYY!!! YOU DID ITTTT!!!! I love how Jay has such a big heart. Even though Jihan is an enemy, he still considers his health. He even knows his own POWER TOO AND WHAT HE'S CAPABLE OF. ALSO, HE ISN'T AS WEAK AS HE WAS BACK THEN. LIKE DAAAAAAAAMN JAY, YOU GOT SO STRONG!!! AM PROUD. 😩😩💖💖💖💖💖

GOD PTJ, DON'T MAKE ME CRY HERE. YK I AIN'T READY FOR A SOB FEST. 😭😭😭😭

I TOLD Y'ALL, IMMA BE SIPPIN ON MY WINE GLASS. GOT THAT ROSÉ IN HAND, EXTRA FRUITYYYY. 🤪

Yeah bro, it's some sexy pervy illiterate demonic Enemy of the State Japanese Yakuza mf named Jong Gun Park.

OH LOOK, THERE HE IS! HI BAE, I MISS YOUR PSYCHOTIC ASS!!! 😩😩🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 DON'T MIND YOUR SON GETTING YEETED BY A 1ST GEN KING. HE'LL BE FIIIIINE... hopefully.

AHHHHHHH SHIIIIII. NOW IT'S DANIEL'S TURN FOR THE SPOTLIGHT. What if Hudson and Jay come to the rescue when Daniel is at his lowest while fighting Jichang? Well, that's one of my guesses on what'll happen in the future. But, I have faith in Daniel. I hope he'll knock Jichang down a peg, next chapter. Well, until next week! 👋🏽

God, I hate how I'm busy on Thursdays now. Almost every week, I be posting my reviews super late now. Smh me. Sorry guys. 😓

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : Instagram AU

Read this first 👉🏻 🩵

A/N : I changed the lyrics from “Is that Ight” so it can fit my story!!!!!!

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, djdrama, claybornharlow, and 6,456,976 others

yourusername Celebrating my husbands new album. Prepare to be sick of me because this will be the only thing I’ll be listening to all year long.

View all 1,500 comments

neelamthadhani 🙌🏼🥳

jackharlow I love you 😘

jackharlow All the cards stacked against her, but she learning how to deal 🤞🏼

jackandynaremyparents 🥺🥺🥺

urbanwyatt 🎥 by me 😏

yourusername Always 🙌🏼 thank you Urb.

yourbestiename Bitch you look hot!!!!!! Wish I was there!!!!! But congratulations to your hubby, love the album, he did amazing.

yourusername Miss youuu, & thank you babe, I’ll let him know 😘

•

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, russ, g_eazy, djdrama, yourbestiename, and 9,355,876 others

jackharlow And I’m cumming in my girl like I’m sterile.

View all 2,900 comments

yourusername 🙈 🙈 🤭🤭🤭 Baby Harlow number 2 loading…..

urbanwyatt huh?

claybornharlow WAIT WHAT????

cozane UNCLE TWO TIMES!!!!

urbanwyatt No way this is how we’re finding out that y/n is pregnant. There’s no way!!!

neelamthadhani She was drinking tonight idiots, so obviously not pregnant.

yourusername 😭😭😭😭 They’re a little slow, but that’s okay.

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

user Not the security looking at y/n like that 🤣

yourusername Not at me lol, my cousin was behind us acting a fool 😂 but we love her.

nemoachida You two clean up nice 🥶

yourcousinname Thank you for inviting me tonight. Had a blast. Jack, this album is everything and more!!!!!

•

Liked by jackharlow, claybornharlow, yourbestiename, g_eazy, badbunnypr, and 2,567,976 others

yourusername “10 children and 1 wife, That’s how I wanna live my life, is that Ight?” Well you better because I’m not letting you leave anytime soon, or ever!!!!!! 1 down 9 to go I guess 🤭🤭🤭😏😏😏😏

View all 8,346,876 others

jackharlow 😂😂😂😂 I knew you were going to call me out on this one!!!!

yourusername 👀 You know me too well.

claybornharlow 10 Harlow kids? Damn I’m not ready to be uncle to ten kids!!!!!!!

jackharlow You’ll have time to get used to it.

druski Mia is a menace enough, imagine 9 more of her????

jackharlow My little girl is nothing but nice, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

neelamthadhani I knew that line was for you 🙌🏼

yourusername I mean for who else would it be for?????? 🤔

jackharlow 🫣🫣🫣🫣

nemoachida 💀💀💀💀💀

•

Liked by jackharlow, claybornharlow, djdrama, yourbestiename, badbunnypr, and 7,976,345 others

yourusername JACKMAN OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!! I feel like everyday you amaze me, your craft and how you handle everything around you amazes me. We listened to the album in our bed, just us two. The world couldn’t prepare me for the wave of emotions that would come crushing down on me. Baby, you deserve every bit of of happiness, success and praise. After we listened to it, I asked you if it was okay for me to listen to it on my own. I can’t say what I feel right now, all I know is that I promise you to hold you extra tight, to love you the way you deserve to be loved. If I haven’t said it enough, I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! I knew it, I knew the world wasn’t ready for Jackman, because quite frankly, I don’t think I was either! I LOVE YOUUUUU 🩵🩵🩵🩵

View all 1,900 comments

jackharlow Babe 🥺

jackharlow I fucking love you so much. Always thankful for having you in my life. The nonstop support and love from you, doesn’t go unnoticed. Without a doubt, the love of my life, my soulmate.

yourusername 🥺🥺🥺 Stop making me cry.

druski Seriously stop already, seeing her cry at the release party last night was enough. I had to order a box of tissues for her ass.

yourusername Leave me alone. But also thanks for the tissues 🤧

yourbestiename Me when??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

urbanwyatt 👀

neelamthadhani Your guys love story is my favorite.

yourusername Mine too 😊💜

allabouttheharlows 🥺 My parents are the cutest ever!!!!!

claybornharlow 🩶

applemusic 🔥 🔥

djdrama You were right, the world wasn’t ready!!!!!!

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[pnwdagnabbit]

Okay, y’all. I need to show this off and brag a bit. I’m one lucky son of a bitch.

So… I have talked to my bro @i-like-the-eyes about tats, what I wanna get, where I’m lookin’ at, and so on over the last couple weeks. One of them bein’ the neck tat that Donald Pierce has, only I wanted one like… more my style?

Like a skull with .45 colt revolvers for the crossbones and wearing a cowboy hat, rather than the military beret for Special Forces. And mannn… I woke up this morning to find Catchy fuckin’ made me this beautiful, badass, motherfuckin’ sick as shit, EPIC tattoo design!!!…

😳😳😳😍😍😍SERIOUSLY!?!? Y’all, if that’s not the most GORGEOUS design, then I dunno what is.

I cried. I was legit sobbing like a baby. 😂🙌

I am SOOOO gonna save up so I can get this bad boy for my birthday! I have GOT to get this TAT!!!

I will workout a thousand times harder and try to get extra muscle mass and leaned up around my chest and neck so that it’ll look how I want it to with where I wanna get it done. If I can’t get in the right shape by my birthday, then I’ll go and schedule it for Christmas. That way I’ll have time to get my ass in shape and save up. Either way…

I have to share, cuz that fucker is BEYOND talented. I am SOOO damn honored to call him brother. He’s my dang family and this just goes to show the amount of true-blue character, generosity, heart and soul, dedication, and love this man has for his friends.

No one asked him to do this! It’s not my birthday or a holiday! He just did it, cuz he’s that fuckin’ awesome and shows he cares, and I need everyone to know that about him. Anyone who don’t know how cool that cat is?… Welp!… Now ya do. *mic drop* 🎤💥 BOOM! Catchy is awesome. Here endeth the lesson.

-Dax (one spoiled ass mofo)

[alipeeps]

Episode 39

I am honestly fucking scared to start this episode. *whimpers*

Ahhh so the plan is to get rid of Xiao Heng before the battle kicks off (because they're scared of him - cowards!). Not sure leaving the princess to ensure his death is their best plan though?

Wait up is that real Zhao Ke who's escaped from shitty uncle or is this fake Zhao Ke again carrying out the plot to bring Xiao Heng to the princess?

Ayyy you go grandpa!! That'll throw a spanner in the works of Wanning's little plan! 😁

Oh for fuck's sake, I was right, wasn't I? Yurong *still* wants Xue Li (still thinks he has any fucking right to her, like her opinion on the matter doesn't count?!!) and I bet that's what he asked Lord Cheng for as reward.

So he in one move poisons the princess, to justify the rebellion, and "saves" Xue Li from her prison. What does he think, she's going to turn around and be so thankful for the rescue that she'll take him back?!

Oh you absolute little shit of a man. Grrrrrrrr.

Oooh holy shit, confronted by poisoned Wanning as he's walking out carrying drugged unconscious Xue Li.

Pleeease Wanning, please, put those sociopathic tendencies to good use and kill the fucker. Take him down with you. Go on!!

"Haven't I treated you well?" WHat? WHAT? Bestie, do you even listen to yourself?

Go on girl stab him. I know you got a knife there somewhere. Stab that fucker.

Better yet, take out that hairpin he gave you and stab him with that!

Nonononoooo you did it all wrong! You were meant to stab HIM!!

Him having stabbed you does rather screw up the plan to blame your death on the emperor though so thanks for that I guess...

I wonder was the poison actually intended to fake her death not kill her, as discussed with Lord Cheng? Cos if so, that's you out of favour with the dude who was your meal ticket to success if the coup works out.

You're screwed fella. Whether the coup succeeds or not, the emperor will have you killed for killing his sister.

Meanwhile where the fuck in grandpa Xiao who is meant to be coming to rescue Xue Li?

Please don't despise me? Bestie, what fucking drugs have you been taking?

Your ruined her reputation. Tried to kill her. Plotted against her. Just told her that you're going to kill the man she does love. But it's all ok sweetie, afterwards I'll clean myself, and we can go back to being husband and wife just like before, ok? I mean wtf?!!

PLEASE tell me Xiao Heng gets to personally end Yurong's life. PLEASE.

Oh thank fuck, I was just gonna say AGAIN, where the fuck is grandpa Xiao and his rescue mission? Props to the old boy for jus straight up kicking the door in.

Oh dude it's the Luoyang bandits to the rescue too! Yassss! Get the fuck in there boys!!

Well fuck, shit's going down for sure cos Xiao Heng is actually armed with a sword rather than a fan.

Does... does he really think anyone would believe what he was claiming? If the emperor was going to imprison his sister, he certainly wouldn't do it so openly, and tell her consort why he was doing it! Wtf who would even believe such nonsense?

They better not kill my baby idiot boy Wen Ji! They just better not!!!

Oh I stand corrected - he did have a sword when he spoke with the emperor... but apparently he feels Lord Cheng doesn't warrant such extra effort and ngl I agree with him there. Kill his ass Xiao Heng!!

OOOOH it's a motherfucking METAL fan!! Yasssss bitch!!!

A metal fan AND his daddy's sword. Hell yes.

Uhhh yeah Xiao Heng. sweetie... he's got armour. And you don't.

Fuuuck that shoulder throw was a badass move!!

Sorry fella, what were you saying? What do wise men do again?

Ngl I especially love that moment cos it's a subversion of such a common trope in cdrama - in the middle of a massive battle, you stop to wax poetic about your motivations with your opponent. Of fucking course in a real life battle someone would take advantage of your grandstanding to shove a fucking sword into you! 😂😂😂 Well done that nameless soldier! Bravo! 😁

Ayyy it's Jiuyue and the Great Zhao boys!! Woohoo!!

Ahh shit, how's Lu Ji gonna fight off that many on his own?

Ayyyy pappa Jiang!! Never thought I'd be so happy to see that old fucker! 😁

You go pappa Jiang. You shoulda kicked him in the nards instead though.

The director really likes the imagery of a fighter's foot sliding/splashing into a puddle as they are pushed backwards in a fight. It's rapidly getting right up there with the wind machine in popularity.

"I rescued your wife." Oh grandpa Xiao you are really fucking growing on me!! 😁

JFC pappa Jiang's face!!

He's like wtf? When did this happen??!! 😂😂😂

Ngl though fellas, romantic as this is, you really don't have time for this. There's some fairly important shit going down right now. The slow-mo hugs really should wait.

JFC dude it's not just because of Xiao Heng that Xue Li won't look at you! She's never gonna look at you. You could kill every other man in the world and she'd still not look at you!!

Plus where was this fucking rabid devotion to Xue Li and being with her no matter what when the princess ordered you to kill her? Oh, that's right, nowhere!! You DID fucking kill her... except you're too fucking cringefail to make it stick!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! WHat a place to end the ep! Fuck!!

(Please tell me in ep 40 Xue Li turns up and puts a fucking arrow right through that fucker's face!!)

[harlowsbby]

Treat me right

Liked by lilnasx, druski2funny, jackharlownews, urbanwyatt and 1,789,000 others.

theshaderoom uh oh roomies looks like @yourinstagramname is out here sending a few risky pictures to rapper @jackharlow but last time we checked wasn’t he boo’d up with @nattinatasha!

lilnasx ooo he’s in big trouble now

druski2funny DAMN he said he wants both of em and he wants them both now

lilnasx @druski2funny this isn’t a laughing manner your best friend is a certified player

jackharlownews see now I don’t support this jackman

latto777 cause ima fuck up a bitch tonight!!

Liked by sza, latto777, lilnasx, druski2funny, kehlani and 2,578,000 others.

yourinstagramname tuhh I never needed him anyways

sza and didn’t! that’s why he’s walking around looking like mr.tumnus

druski2funny what you need it me baby, I’ll never play you like you’re second best

lilnasx @druski2funny what you need is a gym membership I heard planet fitness is giving discounts for first timers

latto777 never did and never will 💅🏽

nattinatasha we’re doing better without him

yourinstagramname @nattinatasha you ain’t ever lied

Liked by yourinstagramname, lilnasx, sza, druski2funny and 1,435,300 others.

nattinatasha damn you thought I was sweating you? 💅🏽

yourinstagramname 🤪😝

lilnasx so wait you don’t care your man was out here being a hoe?

nattinatasha @lilnasx PUUULEASEEE, my girl and I have better things to do than fight over a local white boy rapper

druski2funny so what you’re saying is I have a chance with the both of you?

lilnasx @druski2funny please it’s literally no nut november for you so sit your ass down

latto777 as y’all should! Fuck him I need both girls to be the baddest bitches I know they are, no time for these suckers.

urbanwyatt ima just head out 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯

Liked by urbanwyatt, champagnepapi, druski2funny, lilnasx, lilbaby and 3,499,000 others.

jackharlow I mean maybe I shouldn’t be giving out relationship advice. Rolling stone set me up I believe 😂

lilnasx player of the year award 🙄

jackharlow @lilnasx come on man you know you’re on my side right?

druski2funny my man said he wanted that two piece with the extra sauce 😭😂 we all make mistakes buddy

lilnasx @druski2funny your mistake was being born

druski2funny @lilnasx ima fuck you up next time I seen you in Atlanta 🙄

lilnasx @druski2funny please all I gotta do is push you over and you’ll be rolling down that hill

lilbaby 😂😂

Liked by jackharlownews, lilnasx, druski2funny, sza, nattinatasha, yourinstagramname and 979 others.

theshaderoom roomies looks like our girls are possible hinting at a new single together! Can it possibly be the breakup anthem of the year 👀

yourinstagramname hehe my single waves featuring @nattinatasha will be out this friday

nattinatasha @yourinstagramname thank you so much for allowing me on the song! you’ll all love it so much

lilnas ooooo I love the title, about to stream one of the best breakup songs

druski2funny damn y’all pettyyyyyy

jackharlow crazy never had a song made about me

yourinstagramname @jackharlow gotta try something new 🤷🏽‍♀️

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, nattinatasha, lilnasx, druski2funny, sza and 1,683, 000 others.

yourinstagramname my new single waves featuring @nattinatasha is out now! babes couldn’t be there last time to perform but catch us at the vmas 🤍

nattinatasha I’m proud of the both of us babe 😌

lilnasx my girls did it once again 😌💗

druski2funny lookin real good y/n

urbanwyatt @druski2funny I was gonna say the same thing 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯

lilnasx @urbanwyatt @druski2funny y’all both just horny and desperate men

jackharlow so we’re not getting back together?

yourinstagramname @jackharlow you thought we was? 😂😂 you’re truly a lame

(A fun and cute collab I did with the amazing and talented @nattinatalia 💗😌)

[nerdycrusadecomputer]

Guess who's back??? Back again! 😎

Hello beautiful cutie,first of all,i know,you write my request not to much time ago (that i already read it and it's just *chef kiss*) but,my mind is goin crazy with some new ideas and y'know,sharing is caring right?

I'm not gonna drop all of them,just one for now. Ok ok,Rise!Leo (yeah,he is my favorite,how do you know???) x reader (female or neutral your choise) in they first make out. Little suggestive? Maybe but,in my mind this would be so goofy in the begin like,no one knowing what to do just trying to see if it's work and then, finally in the end they get it lol.

The next one will be another bet,just you wait! 😏♥️

YESSIR!!! Imma write this as soon as i can xD

Key words: Y/n - your name

Leo x gn!reader

Warnings: maybe some suggestive content, but nothing other than ass grabbing-

Leo would not know what to do

My man wouldn't even know where to put his hands 😂

I just imagine the first time you actually started to make out, you had to ask

And the whole time you two are laughing your asses off, not knowing what to do

Like Leo as soon as it starts to get heated just start laughing out of nowhere

Which leads to you laughing

"LEO STOP FUCKING LAUGHING-"

"I can't, it's just funny!"

But he'll get the hang of it really quick, trust me

Like as soon as his laughs die down, he would be grabbing Your waist or ass as you intensely make out

Maybe his two walked in on you once or twice, but we'll never know!

Here is how I think their first make out session would go:

Leo and Y/n were sitting on his bed, just reading a comic together, when Y/n suddenly had n idea

She smirked as she looked towards Leo

"Hey Leo?" She started, receiving a hum from Leo, as to say the he was listening

Y/n pulled out a price of paper and handed it to Leo, he grabbed it as he playfully rolled his eyes and read the paper

'Free make out session' it read

"You know you could he just asked, not hand this out like it's some sort of secret code." Leo said as he turned towards his partner, putting his comic to the side

Y/n quickly sat in his lap as they wrapped their arms around his neck

"Just wanted to be extra." They said s they Leones closer to his face

He rested his arms on her waist as he pressed his lips against hers

His hands slowly lowered as he squeezed their ass, earning a squeak from his partner

He giggled at their squeak as Y/n just rolled their eyes

"Stop squeezing my ass, you fuckin' horny ass bitch." They said as Leo bursted out laughing, Y/n tried to contain their laughter as they gently slapped his face

"Stop laughing! This is supposed to be hot!" They whisper yelled, but his laughter only increased

"I swear to God, I am going to kill myself because of you." They whispered

"No- *laugh* no no no, here I'll- I'll stop-" he giggled as he tried to stop his laughter as he connected their lips again

They slowly got in to it when Leo licked Y/n's bottom lip, they opened their mouth as Leo out his tongue in and explored every crevice

Just as things were getting heated a certain someone interrupted

"Hey Nardo, do you see my favori- OH MY FREAKING GOD-"

Y/n quickly jumped from Leo's lap as they sat down criss cross applesauce

"Oh hey Donnie- good to see ya, how've you been?" Leo said, trying not to make things awkward

"Nardo- *sigh* Listen, if you just tell me where my favorite screwdriver is, i will pretend... That, didn't happen, okay?" Donatello said as he covered his eyes

"It's in your pocket, now forget about this, and if you tell anyone i will eat you alive-"

"Okay thanks Nardo and Y/n, totallydidn'tseeyoumakeoutoranything- bye!" Donnie quickly scurried off

"Well... Where were we again?"

That is all, hope you liked it :)

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Dan don't be so casual!!! Your brother is worried about you!!!!

Goddamn Jessie please don't actually go sacrifice for your brother out of guilt.

Dan stop being so fucking casual!!!

Okay side note that has nothing to do with anything. But you can leave bullets inside people, it really depends on where they are. Usually the worst thing is the damage they caused moving. Though I assume the fact that they are silver does mean you should remove them from a werewolf.

Far be it from me to call Jessie a liar, but I do not believe for a second that if Lola tells him it's an unfair deal he is not still gonna take it.

"you wanna eat my ass, fine." tell me there were now kiss motions made on that please!

Why do we need fucking cop to convince everyone they need to get healed. 😂😂

John just being rational is once again the thing that works on Lola and her freak out and refusing medical attention.

😂😂 Aviva getting medical help out of pettiness.

Aviva, John would do anything for you, making a bit of ectoplasm is probably the least.

Oh John, my precious emotionally repressed baby, just casually using up dead bodies like you do.

The goblins taking good care of turkey tail. 😭

All this magic is crazy but really cool!!!

This fucking mouse though. His little hat is cute, but he is a LIAR!!!

John once again knowing exactly what to say to get to Lola.

😭😭😭 The mouse wants to save her! I take it back lil moussy.

Me and Aviva are on the same page! The cop wanting a drink with Lola!!! It's the grenadine, it has to be.

Grenadine with energy drink shots. This sounds like the idea you have once you're already way too drunk to function normal the next day and then you think this will stave off a hangover.

They're both going upstairs. 👀 They are gonna sleep in the same bed!

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Fuck me, John. Why are you so good at talking to everyone for their benefit??? Like no offense but you're so bad in dealing with yourself.

Ohhh Jessie Jessie Jessie. Seems like a bad idea to insult an owl.

I love it when they role exceptional successes!!! Especially when it is when they're doing smth for someone else.

It's so interesting to finally see some stronger emotions with John. The excitement you hear when he talks about smashing his mom's signs is rare.

Sword in the stone-ing that bat into the windshield with everything that's going on, so petty. 😂

"Carl, this man is a werewolf, do you think he's gonna fuck off?" 😂😂 made me laugh out loud, and people looked at me like I was crazy.

He just ended Carl in one shot!

Sure, not feeling pain and going numb is definitely the healthy thing to do after cold blooded murder...

They're extra giggly today, are they nervous?

Also Tim is the irl Miles of that group, telling everyone to focus. 😂

Oh my God!!! They are not fucking around, Aviva just chopping a dead man's legs and hands off. (btw why just stop at the hands at this point and not go full arms?)

You know if you hear about a matter wizard and a wizard of space and time the matter wizard kind of sounds like a dweeb, but actually it's fucking badass.

I am screaming! Fucking Ramona, really thinking giving him a dad will stop him from this. Like she's smart, but she's fucking stupid.

Oh no Lola's worst moment is so awful, and so sad.

The sound of rolling dice is so good.

I hate Ramona so fucking much. She is delusional at this point thinking she's doing the right thing and all creepy calm. Why are parents the fucking worst?!?!

To be fair I like to hate Ramona though, I love hating awful parents.

This fucking magic dagger tho! And Dan himself too obviously but omg.

"I only remember things that are important." yikes!

We love a villain that believes they working for the greater good.

"Consequences are for lesser beings." woooooooooh I hate this bitch.

SHE'S JUST DEAD?!?!

Oh no of course she's not.

The fact that John really doesn't feel pain rn is really so much like his mom. He's on the edge.

Noooo Aviva can't die. 😭

Not the look of confusion, that is kind of sad.

Nope nope, I am in a store rn I cannot listen to this. Will continue listening when I get home

Jesus fuck! I was right to not listen to the last 15 minutes in the store. Good lord. 😭😭

I'm laughing and crying at the same time at Jessie just being gone.

Rob shut your fucking face 😭 (said lovingly obviously)

John casting a spell to finish all this, while having Aviva in his arms. STOP 😭

What??? *insert jlaw gif of what does it mean?!?*

What what what??? Ernie???? NOOOOOOOO Rob stop!! This is illegal!!!! What are you doing???

Okay... But this means there is gonna be a sequel right????

I will post some more thoughts later maybe, but I need to center myself because fuck me.

[halfmoth-halfman]

mother mothie i am asking you very nicely to please pretty please put the writing tools down !! i don’t have enough money to pay for an extra therapy session!!!

on a real note

my god. the whole dynamic between canary and adler ??? perf. perf. down to a tea perfect, my own daddy issues are going crazy. i think it’s very important that it’s adler who reminds canary that she needs to feel this hate, she obviously has loads of issues with him about his parenting but i think it had to be him to remind her she’s a fighter. that she’s an adler and she should kick some ass.

i feel really bad for canary though, adler clearly and very horribly blames canary for her mothers death which clearly was adlers fault 😐 projecting much russel????

graves needs to get slapped, he needs to be put in his place by canary. i want her lovely healed self to stroll into the police station with shepherd there and be like ‘i’m not dead bitch!!’ and get john out of there. but also how does that work????? if johns arrested for her murder, that means that graves has spun the lie that canary’s dead. which she’s clearly not? does that mean he just shot her and left???

coward behaviour icl 😫

i’m so sorry i’m rambling but that was a masterpiece of a chapter; literal art.

you’re feeding us so good mother mothie and it was totally worth waking up at 6am to read after it was published 4am in my time zone 🩷🩷

– 🪼

asdfklsajdf i'm sorry 😂

i think i said this in another ask, but i imagine canary and adler to have a very olivia pope/papa pope from scandal kind of dynamic. i think really it only could've come from adler. he raised her, he knows her best, what makes her tick, how to get under her skin. he's the only one who she would listen to, albeit reluctantly, about getting her revenge. and despite her problems with him, she knows on some level that he's right; she's an adler, and she should be giving everyone hell.

to me, adler is very much a "don't dwell on your problems, figure out how to solve them and move on" kind of guy, and that extends to his wife's death. he needs to keep going and move on, so instead of taking responsibility and mourning properly, he channeled his feelings into blame on his daughter and moved on. he knows it's wrong, but he needed it to be true to be able to keep going.

graves needs to on his knees begging for his life tbh, that man has been nothing but trouble. it'll be interesting to see where canary goes from here, because her not being dead is sure to cause all kinds of chaos and problems but that can be used to her advantage if she plays it smart. having the element of surprise is a pretty big advantage for her.

don't ever apologize for rambling, i love the long messages and all of the theories!!! it's what i'm here for: to feed y'all and give you tons of anxiety ;)

[darlenicy]

Okay, so I watched Winx season 4...

....and I am not okay with it!

These are my full notes & thoughts.... aka one big rant👀

Okay so a quick reminder that I watched the German dub of season 4 so if I mention voice actors it's always the German ones. Oh, and I don't consider anything post movie #1 canon. Okay that's it, thank you. Now let's start the rant.

Episode 1:

the opening cringed right in 🙄

all of a sudden Faragonda comes to mind, that there is another stage of transformation - all of a sudden

the Trix picture in the Hall of Enchantments saved my day

Of course, Bloom has to touch everything again (the curtain in front of the wizards' picture was there on purpose, bloom!)

Winxologie doesn't sound arrogant at all, Tecna

Layla thinks dancing is also a class

"The winx are all totally in love with themselves" Clarice yes, you so right

Amaryl is still with the freshmen 🤣

if Bloom had said she hadn't done it, Faragonda would have believed her - poor Alice isn't extra enough yet to be the teacher's pet. Maybe if she is also the princess of a lost kingdom she eventually has the chance to become Faragonda's new favorite

he (Ogron) talks (has the same voice actor as) like cool cake (Codatorta don't ask why I call him cool cake I just do)

Episode 3:

how ruthless the Winx are (again I forgot what they did. probably them totally failing every fkn job)

zombie stuffed animals wtf girls

these animals are so UGLY and not cute

Episode 4:

why are you so shitty with the boyz? They just want to help you??!! Another hint, that skloom is dammed

no seriously the boys are just there being nice, ready to help and the Winx (mainly Bloom) are UGHHHHH YOU DON'T TRUST US

>:((((((((((

Episode 5

why don't you use fairy dust to turn the ass ugly fairy animals back? Rainbow be like: FCK CONTINUITY!

the Winx are the problem, not the specialists (they treat the boys like shit 😭)

Roxy's dad is lol. how can you have such a bad memory? best thing is calling HELIA -> TOBIAS xD

Why is Musa's bear called Pepe? Wasn't there another name? The name is already taken, Rainbow! :(

Episode 6

why this new hairstyle boys? helia looks so stupid. he was the cute, mysterious cool boy and now he is the freak with the bangs

Episode 8

it's no wonder, that Stella wasn't allowed to drive a car on Solaria. i mean it's stella and i don't want to know how high radius' bill was for all the crashed cars 😂

of course everyone can ride a horse now! Didn't bloom say she can't ride a horse in the 2nd movie? fck continuity

at least Musa is allowed to sing alone in this ep! give musa the musical attention she deserves and fck bloom. give the fire girl an instrument and let musa sing, she's the goddamn fairy of music!

nabu and timmy are the only non toxic bfs lmao i love them

Episode 9

Erendor suuuper inconspicuous

you were on Sparx? Sparx? Not Domino? U sure?

i love Erendor's rant. still why can't he rule? does this man need vacation so badly? why is sky even king? sense come out where u hiding

the bed is minimally exaggerated

Episode 10

Roxy be like: I'm not like you, Bloom. I don't want to be special. lemme be a normal earth girl and chill. no need to make me a PRINCESS IN THE FUTURE *cough*

you're listening to the police radio, Tecna? ok how criminal of you lmao

not Musa being a toxic bitch again. that's why i ship driven

Stella x Musa (even though musa is wrong but this cute. i love when they are sweet with each other. in s1 and s2 they had their problems but since s3 they're such besties)

Episode 11

musa, jason is your producer, not your boyfriend

➡ nothing against age gaps but he is clearly interested in her because she has talent, not because she has boobs

➡ and wTf you HAVE a boyfriend, musa! poor riven, my boi 😭

nabu x layla!!!!! (i will say it again and again, they built them up to destroy them and that is unnecessary drama! 😭

Episode 14

yes musa, short hair does suit you better

➡ also stella saying that long hair is the best thing ever is pretty rude against tecna? but hey, she's cool with it: stella: hair is the most effective weapon of seduction a girl has - Tecna: oh really, i though it was the brain - burrrrrn (in the German dub it's even meaner of stella because she explicitly says LONG hair is the most effective weapon a girl has)

Bloom didn't want to be a fairy at first like Roxy?? gurl, you were totally into it! it was you stupid dream after all

if stella had seen brandon being nice to a girl she's be mad? Ehm, they used to make a game out of who flirts with more people. real stella would chill, s4 stella would explode

yes riven, you just don't have a relationship base this season makes it more obvious than ever

and the animals just stay free in the city? ok...

Episode 15

YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM, MUSA! don't act as if HE was the problem🤯

Also do we see Mitzi as a fairy ever again? no? ok

Episode 16

oh brilliant Faragonda can't solve the mystery of the white circle? loser

who said that Bloom is the one singing? who is the music fairy? i think it's not her for sure!?

WHY DOES BLOOM SING?!

Poor Riven bb

yes Riven, change yourself completely, then everything will be fine. i mean rivusa shipping aside, it's never good to change yourself for another person. musa fcks up just as much as he does. maybe they just have to face that they don't work together? never ever try to become someone you are not. if a person wants YOU to change, better question the relationship with that person

➡ ngl rainbow could have written them better. it's a mystery why they don't make them break up before s7. it's simply not working

bloom has to address twice that she is a clever fairy to sky in case he forgets

➡ WHO HAS TO CALL ONESELF CLEVER AGAIN AND AGAIN MIGHT BE NOT SO CLEVER IRL I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

Episode 17

 Tir Nan Og is near Ireland BUT it's a tropical island. makes sense

ehm is it just me or does Morgana looks exactly like the mermaid queen of andros' whose name i forgot?

hm not even that much. maybe it's the shape of their faces

Episode 18

Roxy is veeeeery emotional

brandon, don't say "you act like ex-lovers", that's very mean

you have been arguing a lot lately, musa? You argue ALL THE TIME!

Episode 19

essential oils or essential fairies? 🤣 why? i can't take them serious with that name. it sounds like "This is eucalyptus, this is peppermint, and this is lavender"🤣

do they build up nabu x layla so lovely, so that the end is even more tragic?? fck you rainbow

not stella patting the snake 🐍🤣 i love how she is not AHHHHH :0 but t AWWWWWW >.<

Episode 21

not musa kissing andy in fkn front of riven!!!

since when has it been the winx's dream to become musicians? since yesterday? ok

ogron, you serious? Don't give them the black circle

not musa worrying they'll be late for their show. i mean girls, it's the world that has to be saved again. fck your damn gig

not the German dub putting the cherry on top again with giving us some extra lines when in the original is just a "huh" when the winx discover sybilla's pan fairy minions:

➡ bloom: cute *v* - stella: ..you really think so? (same girl)

bloom: we have the gIfT oF hEaRt!! Stella: the power of prudence would be a more suiteable one - omg stella slay

riven sings.. he really sings. that proves again which's bf he is

no but seriously it's so nice that the boys want to play out time to make sure the winx will have their performance too later

➡ musa: YOU WANT TO STEAL US OUR SUCCESS!!!! >:(((((( JKLDFHIDHFSFHK they made it to guarantee that YOU can still perform!

Episode preview: The Winx….and Roxy

➡ as much as you try Roxy, you'll never be a Winx 😂

Episode 22

Tecna...

....who put you in that dress???

the wizards are all 4 my boyz and i love them

Episode 23

bloom isn't thinking at all again EWEWEW I WilL fIgHt YoU! Yes, go on. Fight against the fairy of WAR. you sure got good chances. and why she alone? why of all things HER?

nebula: you will pay for your arrogance ➡️ Yes girl

Aurora be like: worried…but for my ice tower!

➡️ love it how she gives no fcks about nebula but is only worried about her home

is it that simple? Roxy just gotta say please please and Morgana is aw okay I won't go on with the war against the humans

black gift: ah good, you can prevent a death, well you certainly won't act in haste i'm sure (spoiler: in the end it's not their fault at all and that is really a plot twist. i already saw bloom saving some stranger just to waste the gift so that nabu has to die. but it's not that case. idk how to feel about it. yaay fairies you did your best?)

Episode 24

Totally normal that a rabbit pays for pizza. wtf Gardenia you all high there?

layla speculating about the future 😭

nebula that ol' bitch was always the fairy of peace - now of war WAHAHA i think that's kinda neat. also nebula is a queen

until he (nabu) awakens?? Isn't he quite dead?

ok he is completely dead. then don't spoil us with little hints of hope that he might open his eyes again ok?

bloom: too baaaaad......not that i could use my dragon flame healing bring ppl bak to live powers on him nooo *whistle*

Episode 25

Layla is now eViL

do these tragic flashbacks have to be???😭😭

Red Fountain?? wtf German dub, it was always Rote Fontäne!, duuuh

another tragic flashback 😭

hard cut and at the end enchantix again? which animator was sloppy here?

nebula is such a queen

layla badass

secret revealed: morgana is roxy's mom - yes come on we ALL saw that coming

we give a fck about continuity again and act as if it wasn't centuries ago that the fairies were defeated at earth WTF. how is it even possibible that morgana was with claus?? sense, wherever you are, COME OUT

Episode 26

to name an episode without ice & fire without having ICY in it, is mean tho

one could have made nebula's and layla's change of mind more exciting

➡️ it was like: Oh, OH we're GOOD again! <3

nebula the real queen and she got what she deserved, i love that

Overall:

yeh this season is so cringe, okay? i watched 26 episodes and i feel like nothing really happened? the plot was so lame and slow. i mean, look what happens in s1-s3 in all the episodes. there was so much more going on. it was just relationship drama and unncecessary i gotta say. if they have to write rivusa so toxic then why don't they simply break them up and give them a harmonic ending? maybe being friends is better for them? also no fan of musa becoming a girly bitch with long hair. give me back my tomboy. i have to say too: a season without the trix is no real season even though the wizards are cool. also faragona is so useless let's don't talk about that. and the winx were teachers for ONE episode and after that they are like: meh no we live now our ugly love and pet life in gardenia. the pets, the PETS. i HATE them. they are so ugly. I mean the pixies had a plot they had to fulfill. they had a SENSE in the winx universe. the pets are just ...ugh. not cute. Then Roxy: my opinion on her: she's a bit over dramatic but fine i guess? still wonder why her wings are so big if she is no believix fairy. nebula, diana and aurora were really cool but come on, we did not really need this season. then the criticism that everyone has: wtf with the second movie. where does it take place? why is nabu alive? why do they have their beliviex? it's just that this season was rushed and the plot was meh. and i know it gets worse so let's face it. winx ended after the first movie and this is an ass ugly boring and lame written ff au.

And yes, I will go on with the detailed comments on s1. these notes here were just randomly taken on my phone and i felt the need to share them.

[harrywavycurly]

Hi Sarah do you watch Yellowstone? I remember seeing your posts about Kevin Costner👀 but anyway can you do some conversations with Eddie based on if the reader was like Beth? Her and I are so similar so I’m just interested I’d how it would go😂🙈

Hiiii babes!! So yes I 10000% do watch Yellowstone and Beth is…she’s is goals for how I wish I’d stand up for myself lol so I hope you like these💖

-For those who don’t watch the show or know who Beth Dutton is, she’s someone who will do ANYTHING for her family/people she loves and is in fact terrifying if you’re on her shit list so just think of someone who’s a bitch but like extra spicy✨

*Eddie loves you even when you get joy out of ruining other people’s lives*

“I’ll be right back.” “Baby you don’t have to do that…” “Eddie they can’t think they can talk to you like that and get away with it okay? So…I’ll be right back.” “Sweetheart all they said was I need a haircut…it’s fine.” “It’s not fine. Your hair is gorgeous and I like that it’s good for pulling on so yeah they are going to get a little piece of my mind.” “Just…don’t make anyone bleed okay?” “Eh I can’t make any promises honey…now just stay here and look pretty okay?”

“How was your day princess?” “Oh it was so good Eddie you should’ve seen this man’s face when I told him he was fired…it was priceless.” “That…does sound like a good day baby.” “Like really if I could’ve taken a picture of it I’d get it framed and send it to him as a Christmas gift.” “Who did you fire?” “That fucking asshole from marketing who kept telling me I was too abrasive and should soften up a bit.” “Ohh yeah…I remember him…what a prick.” “I know it just really chapped his ass that I was the one to fire him…felt amazing.” “I can tell it really made you happy.” “Come on let’s go celebrate…I want to get drunk.”

“Big day today sweetheart?” “Today is the day I make that asshole Derek regret ever stepping foot into my office.” “Sounds…fun.” “Oh it’s going to be so fun. What’s on your agenda for today honey?” “Uh just working at the shop…Nancy’s car is the first one I have to work on today.” “You’ll let me know if Wheeler puts the moves on you okay? Tell her I’m the only one that gets a discount for sleeping with the best mechanic at that shop.” “Will do baby.” “I think she knows better but you never know…you’re quite an eye full in your work uniform covered in grease…with your hair up so I wouldn’t blame her for wanting a piece of you.” “The grease and hair in a bun really do it for you huh?” “If I didn’t have a full schedule today I’d drop by and give you a little afternoon delight but…sadly it’ll just have to wait.” “Lucky for you..I make house calls for my favorite customers.” “That so? Well then I’ll see you later Mr. Mechanic…I have to go…love you!” “Love you too have fun torturing Derek.”

“I love you okay? But that was fucking rude so I’m going to go sleep in the guest room.” “Baby come on I’m sorry…Don’t go.” “I have to go Eddie or I’ll probably kick your ass or say some mean shit and I don’t want to do either of those things.” “I’ll gladly let you kick my ass sweetheart…just stay please.” “You really think I have a temper?” “Uh…” “what the fuck is uh? That’s not an answer asshole.” “Uhm..well yeah baby you have a bit of a temper but usually it’s not aimed towards me so it’s…fine.” “I can’t help it I’m a passionate person Eddie.” “I know you are baby and I love that about you…I can handle you when you’re in a fighting mood so it’s okay…I promise I didn’t mean it badly.” “You..can handle me?…you really think so?” “Yeah…I can handle you sweetheart.” “We’ll see about that.”

[eilinelsghost]

I would *love* to hear all your petty bitch thoughts about Orodreth 😍

Ha! I wish I had good ones? I really am just the pettiest when it comes to Orodreth.

Mostly it boils down to: Finrod ran that place for like 400 years and things were FINE (always barring that whole Fen of Serech incident and the whole oath-that-might-have-gotten-everyone-killed fiasco). But then Orodreth got the reigns for less than thirty and he built a fucking bridge?! And just...trotted out to go see that dragon in the neighborhood? Buddy. Come on, now. You couldn't hold onto a well-fortified hidden kingdom for three decades? I get losing Tol Sirion when Sauron came knocking (dude is freaky) but Nargothrond?! In less than 30 years?! My dude.

But in honesty, most of my petty bitch-ness around him is more HC than canon. He has always showed up in my head as the most straight-laced of the group. I have absolutely no reason for or way to explain this, but he is the St. John Rivers of the Noldor in my head.

So anyway, HC Orodreth is constantly judgy of all his kin for the whole leaving Valinor thing (despite having also gone along with it if he wasn't born in Beleriand) and can get a bit preachy about it. Also he ends up being rather condescending re how much Finrod brings the Edain in on everything and thinks it would be better if they stayed more aloof. He has some feelings about habits and mannerisms Finrod picks up from his time hanging out with his new friends. (Uncle, this is distinctly undignified behavior.)

But then when a human shows up in Nargothrond on his own watch and is kicking enough orc ass that it makes Orodreth actually look like he's heading up some decent military accomplishments, he lets it go straight to his head and just shrugs at any good advice, including a direct voicemail from the literal Vala who told Finrod to build the damn place in the beginning.

So...yeah. Nothing really of depth, just extremely petty beef with ol' Orodreth in what is probably an entirely unfair way since most of that is just a ton of extra-canonical fluff that popped into my head for no reason while reading the Silm, but is now embedded beyond repair.

I'm so sorry you had to listen to that 😂