#f&c: gary beloved | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-literata-letters · 3 years

Text

reading list - historical fiction

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS MY OTHER READING LISTS.

✵ ACTIVELY UPDATING ✵

☐ AKILAN – Vengayin maindan ☐ ALENCAR, José de – Iracema ☐ ALENCAR, José de – O Guarani ☐ ALLENDE, Isabel – La Isla Bajo el Mar ☐ ANDRIĆ, Ivo – The Bridge on the Drina ☐ ATWOOD, Margaret – Alias Grace ☐ ATWOOD, Margaret – The Blind Assassin ☐ BARICCO, Alessandro – Seta ☐ BOYDEN, Joseph – Three Day Road ☐ BOYDEN, Joseph – The Orenda ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – East Wind: West Wind ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – The House of Earth Trilogy ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – China Trilogy ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – Dragon Seed & The Promise ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – Pavilion of Women ☐ BUCK, Pearl S. – Peony ☐ BULGAKOV, Mikhail – The White Guard ☐ BURTON, Jessie – The Minaturist ☐ BUTT, Razia – Bano ☐ CAREY, Peter – Jack Maggs ☐ CAREY, Peter – Oscar and Lucinda ☐ CAREY, Peter – True History of the Kelly Gang ☐ CARPENTIER, Alejo – El reino de este mundo ☐ CATHER, Willa – Death Comes for the Archbishop ☐ CATTON, Eleanor – The Luminaries ☐ CERVANTES SAAVEDRA, Miguel de – El Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quixote de la Mancha ☐ CHATTOPADHYAY, Bankim Chandra – Durgeshnandini ☐ CHATTOPADHYAY, Bankim Chandra – Anandamath ☐ CHEVALIER, Tracy – Girl with a Pearl Earring ☐ CHOY, Wayson – The Jade Peony ☐ CHOY, Wayson – All That Matters ☐ CLAUS, Hugo – Het verdriet van België ☐ CLAVELL, James – The Asian Saga ☐ COETZEE, J. M. – Waiting for the Barbarians ☐ CONIGLIO, Angelo F. – La Ruotaia ☐ CONRAD, Joseph – The Rover ☐ COOPER, James Fenimore – Leatherstocking Tales Pentology ☐ COSTER, Charles De – La Légende...d'Ulenspiegel et de Lamme Goedzak... ☐ CRANE, Stephen – The Red Badge of Courage ☐ DAVIS, Lindsey – Falco series ☐ DeLILLO, Don – Libra ☐ de MADARIAGA, Salvador – El corazón de piedra verde ☐ DICKENS, Charles – A Tale of Two Cities ☐ DOCTOROW, E. L. – Ragtime ☐ DONALD, Angus – Outlaw Chronicles ☐ DRUON, Maurice – Les Rois maudits ☐ DUMAS, Alexandre (père) – The DÁrtagnan Romances ☐ DUMAS, Alexandre (père) – Le Comte de Monte-Cristo ☐ DUMAS, Alexandre (père) – La Tulipe Noire ☐ ECO, Umberto – Il nome della rosa ☐ ECO, Umberto – I'isola del giorno prima ☐ ECO, Umberto – Baudolino ☐ ECO, Umberto – La Misteriosa Fiamma della Regina Loana ☐ ECO, Umberto – Il cimitero di Praga ☐ ELIOT, George – Romola ☐ ELIOT, George – Middlemarch ☐ ENDŌ, Shūsaku – Chinmoku ☐ FARRELL, J. G. – The Siege of Krishnapur ☐ FARRELL, J. G. – Troubles ☐ FAST, Howard – Spartacus ☐ FOWLES, John – The French Lieutenant's Woman ☐ FRASER, George MacDonald – Flashman ☐ GEDGE, Pauline – Scroll of Saqqara ☐ GHOSH, Amitav – Ibis Trilogy ☐ GOLON, Anne – Angélique series ☐ GRAVES, Robert – I, Claudius ☐ GRENVILLE, Kate – The Secret River ☐ HAGGARD, Sir H. Rider – King Solomon's Mines ☐ HARRIS, Robert – An Officer and a Spy ☐ HELLER, Joseph – Catch-22 ☐ HIJĀZĪ, Nasīm – Khaak aur Khoon ☐ HILL, Lawrence – The Book of Negroes ☐ HOLLAND, Cecelia – City of God ☐ HOLLAND, Cecelia – The Lords of Vaumartin ☐ HUGO, Victor – Quatrevingt-treize ☐ HUGO, Victor – Les Misérables ☐ HYDER, Qurratulain – Aag Ka Darya ☐ IBÁÑEZ, Vicente Blasco – Los cuatro jinetes del Apocalipsis ☐ IRVING, Washington – Tales of the Alhambra ☐ JENNINGS, Gary – Aztec ☐ JENNINGS, Gary – Aztec Autumn ☐ JENNINGS, Gary – Raptor ☐ JIN YONG – all works ☐ JOAQUIN, Nick – The Woman Who Had Two Navels ☐ JOHNSTON, Wayne – The Colony of Unrequited Dreams ☐ JOSÉ, Francisco Sionil – Po-on ☐ JUAN MANUEL, Don – Libro do los enxiemplos del Conde Lucanor et de Patronio ☐ KADARE, Ismail – Gjenerali i ushtrisë së vdekur ☐ KANEKAR, Amita – A Spoke in the Wheel ☐ KAYE, M. M. – The Far Pavilions ☐ KENEALLY, Thomas – Bring Larks and Heroes ☐ KENNEDY, William – Albany Cycle ☐ KIDD, Sue Monk – The Secret Life of Bees ☐ KINGSLEY, Charles – Westward Ho! ☐ KRISHNAMURTHY, Kalki – Parthiban Kanavu ☐ KRISHNAMURTHY, Kalki – Sivagamiyin Sabatham ☐ KRISHNAMURTHY, Kalki – Ponniyin Selvan ☐ LEONARDOS, George – Palaiologan Dynasty series ☐ LITTELL, Jonathan – Les Bienveillantes ☐ LISS, David – The Coffee Trader ☐ LOWRY, Lois – Number the Stars ☐ MALRAUX, Georges André – Les Conquérants ☐ MALRAUX, Georges André – La Voie Royale ☐ MALRAUX, Georges André – La condition humaine ☐ MANTEL, Hilary – A Place of Greater Safety ☐ MANZONI, Alessandro – I promessi sposi ☐ MARTINEZ, Tomás Eloy – Santa Evita ☐ MASTOOR, Khadija – Aangan ☐ McCORMMACH, RUSSELL – Night Thoughts of a Classical Physicist ☐ McCARTHY, Cormac – Blood Meridian ☐ MEHTA, Nandshankar – Karan Ghelo ☐ MICHENER, James A. – all works ☐ MIKSZÁTH, Kálmán – A fekete város ☐ MIN, Anchee – Wild Ginger ☐ MITCHELL, David – The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet ☐ MITCHELL, Margaret – Gone with the Wind ☐ MORANTE, Elsa – La Storia ☐ MORRISON, Toni – Beloved ☐ MORRISON, Toni – Jazz ☐ MULTATULI – Max Havelaar ☐ NEWTON, Nerida – The Lambing Flat ☐ NINH, Bảo – Nỗi buồn chiến tranh ☐ OKSANEN, Sofi – Puhdistus ☐ ONDAATJE, Michael – In the Skin of a Lion ☐ PATTERSON, James & GROSS, Andrew – The Jester ☐ PENNER, Sarah – The Lost Apothecary ☐ PÉREZ-REVERTE, Arturo – Captain Alatriste novels ☐ PÉREZ-REVERTE, Arturo – Falcó novels ☐ PÉREZ-REVERTE, Arturo – El maestro de esgrima ☐ PÉREZ-REVERTE, Arturo – La Reina del Sur ☐ PÉREZ-REVERTE, Arturo – El pintor de batallas ☐ PHILLIPS, Arthur – Prague ☐ PHILLIPS, Arthur – The King at the Edge of the World ☐ PILLAI, C. V. Raman – novel trilogy ☐ POPE, Barbara Corrado – Cézanne's Quarry ☐ POPE, Barbara Corrado – The Blood of Lorraine ☐ POPE, Barbara Corrado – The Missing Italian Girl ☐ PRAMOEDYA, Ananta Toer – Buru Quartet ☐ PRESSFIELD, Steven – Gates of Fire ☐ PRESSFIELD, Steven – Tides of War ☐ PRESSFIELD, Steven – The Afghan Campaign ☐ PRUS, Bolesław – Faraon ☐ PUZO, Mario – The Godfather universe ☐ PUZO, Mario – The Family ☐ PYNCHON, Thomas – Gravity's Rainbow ☐ PYNCHON, Thomas – Mason & Dixon ☐ READE, Charles – The Cloister and the Hearth ☐ RENAULT, Mary – The Last of the Wine ☐ RENAULT, Mary – The Mask of Apollo ☐ RENAULT, Mary – The King Must Die ☐ RICHARDS, D. Manning – Destiny in Sydney ☐ RIZAL, José – Noli Me Tángere ☐ RIZAL, José – El filibusterismo ☐ RUSHDIE, Salman – Midnight's Children ☐ RUTHERFURD, Edward – Russka ☐ SABATO, Ernesto – Sobre héroes y tumbas ☐ SANGHI, Ashwin – Chanakya's Chant ☐ SANKRITYAYAN, Rahul – Volga Se Ganga ☐ SARAMAGO, José – Memorial do Convento ☐ SATYANARAYANA, Viswanatha – Veyi Padagalu ☐ SCOTT, Sir Walter – Quentin Durward ☐ SCOTT, Sir Walter – Tales of the Crusaders ☐ SCOTT, Sir Walter – Ivanhoe ☐ SHAN, Sa – Porte de la paix céleste ☐ SHAN, Sa – La Joueuse de go ☐ SHAN, Sa – La cithare nue ☐ SIENKIEWICZ, Henryk – The Trilogy ☐ SMILEY, Jane – The Greenlanders ☐ SOMOZA, José Carlos – La caverna de las ideas ☐ STEPHENSON, Neal – Cryptonomicon ☐ STIFTER, Adalbert – Witiko ☐ STYRON, William – Sophie's Choice ☐ TOLSTOY, Leo – War and Peace ☐ TOMASI, Giuseppe (di Lampedusa) – Il Gattopardo ☐ TREMAYNE, Peter – Sister Fidelma mysteries ☐ UNDSET, Sigrid – Kristin Lavransdatter ☐ UNDSET, Sigrid – Olav Audunssøn novels ☐ VARGAS LLOSA, Mario – La guerra del fin del mundo ☐ VARGAS LLOSA, Mario – La Fiesta del Chivo ☐ VIDAL, Gore – Narratives of Empire ☐ WALLACE, Lew – Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ ☐ WALTARI, Mika – Sinuhe egyptiläinen ☐ WALTARI, Mika – Mikael Karvajalka ☐ WILDER, Thornton – The Bridge of San Luis Rey ☐ WOOLF, Virginia – Orlando: A Biography ☐ YERBY, Frank – Goat Song ☐ YOURCENAR, Marguerite – L'Œuvre au noir ☐ ŻEROMSKI, Stefan – Wierna rzeka ☐ ZIMLER, Richard – The Warsaw Anagrams ☐ ZIMLER, Richard – The Last Kabbalist of Lisbon ☐ ZUSAK, Markus – The Book Thief

#books #literature #reading list #what to read #fiction #stories #historical fiction #academia #give me recommendations

26 notes · View notes

harleenfleck · 4 years

Text

“Don’t forget me” (Part. 1)

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader fic

Summary: you’re one of the few female clowns who working in Ha-ha’s, over time, you made a nice friendship with Arthur, and at the same time, you began to be very attracted to him, but you never had the valor and courage to confess your feelings. The things get complicated when he gets fired of the job and you knew nothing about him until the death of his mother. Being convinced by Randall and Gary, you three plan going to visit Arthur.

Warnings: No one in this one, maybe sexist language from one of the characters, hurt/comfort, fluff.

Words: 4.6k

A/N: Well, lasts days I watched “Joker” for the nth time and this idea was like a seed flowering in my head when I see the Randall’s Death Scene. I change some details of the movie, but I really had too much creativity in this story that I had to get carried away with. The lyrics to the song "Night Mime" by Melanie Martinez inspired me very much, actually, the name "Night Mime" appears in the story ✨🌌

In fact, the story was going to be a One-Shot, but Tumblr said no 🙄 because it was on the limit of words, so I decided to do it in 2 parts, even though my heart is asking me to do a third part.

I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, English is not my native language.

I hope you like it!

...

Running, you’re late, and you don’t want be late in the work. You ran upstairs and take a big breath when you punch in the time clock.

You came to your job at Ha-ha's, a clown agency in Gotham, you really loved your job, you loved dressing up, putting on wigs, put exaggerate and shining makeup in your face and making people laugh, especially kids, made some balloons for them, dances and giving littles jokes with your magic wand.

“I can’t feel my legs” You whispered to yourself, and coughing too. You really got tired.

“What did a lady like you last night who can’t feel her legs?”

You heard a masculine laugh, you frowned.

That motherfucker, Randall, he was one of the horrible things in that beloved place. Randall was a man who disgust you. Repulsive, misogynistic and unfriendly. It seemed that everything inside him was on his outside too.

You almost returned the insult but someone interrupted you.

“What is wrong with you Randall?! She’s a lady! Leave her alone!”

Oh, one of your friends in Ha-has, Gary, that great guy, he’s was so nice with everyone here, especially with the few women who working in Chuckle Town, that’s how Randall referred to work sometimes.

“Thank you, Gary, you’re really a real man in this place, so respectful, a real gentleman. Others should learn from you”

Randall breathed a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a joke Y/N! Tiffany, the redhead clown, you know her? Well, she laughs a lot with my jokes, why you don’t-”

“Because I’m not Tiffany! And I don’t like your fucking jokes! You always-”

“Hey, hey, calm down!” Oh no, Hoyt, your boss, appeared “Can you two please leave this stupid conversation? Always you two fight for bullshit”

“Boss, I’m sorry, it was Randall’s fault, he always says disgusting things to me and the others women!”

“Please Y/N! Why you don’t go to prepare for the show of today? I remember you Night Mime will go a Birthday Party Today”

Night Mime was your clown name in the job, Night Mine is the clown you played in every show you gave.

“Yeah, sorry, I forget that. I’m so sorry” Don’t want to disturbed the place, you decide to shut up your own mouth. Maybe Randall won this battle, but definitely not the war.

You go to your locker, looking for your make up and your wig, when Hoyt called you again. “Oh, by the way Y/N, Carnival will accompany Night Mime today”

You stayed mute to that words.

“Carnival will accompany Night Mime today?” You asked again, but more timidly.

“Yeah, when he comes, I’ll tell him”.

“O-Okay…”

Everyone (Except Gary) mocked about that. You turned around quickly, because you blushed instantly.

Carnival will accompany Night Mime, which meant Arthur Fleck would be with you. Your heart beat so quickly. And you don’t feel your legs again.

When Hoyt leaves, some began to mock the situation.

“You heard that shit? Arthur surely will think he'll have a date with Y/N” a laugh you can heard. You get so annoyed and you wanted to punch their faces of that idiots who made fun with him.

What’s the fucking problem with Arthur? He's not like one of the other idiots here, he's different, so different from everyone

You thought, cause that’s the true. You don’t understand why everyone were so mean with Arthur. He was just a man who have a strange condition, but that it’s not his fault. Maybe him don’t have a lot of money, but nobody in Ha-Ha’s were rich. He was just a boy with bad luck.

When you choosing what wig wanted to use for the show, you heard the time clock. Turned your head, you looked at him.

Arthur was there, with his bag, his dark yellow jacket and his green eyes. His beautiful eyes.

Blushed again, you moved your head again to the wigs. When you started to work in Ha-ha’s, you met every clown, one by one. When was the turn of present you to Arthur, you were so fascinated with him, you don’t meet nobody like him before. And you wanted to start a friendship with him.

But it was harder than you expected.

Arthur was so shy, reserved, barely talking to his male coworkers, especially Gary and Randall, never with women, maybe a "Good morning" or "Hello," but only that. You saw how he related to others, but from your position, you noticed that Arthur's friendship with Randall was unwholesome. He always made fun of him, so was the joke, you noticed that something inside Arthur it became uncomfortable.

You came to him slowly, sometimes you would come and say "Good morning, Arthur", which sometimes left him amazed, he didn't expect anyone else to remember his name. You remembered his name, why would you remember him? Arthur wanted to get excited, but he knew you weren't interested in him.

Or that’s what he thought.

One day, you said something nice to him about his hair, but that make he exploded in laughs. You thought he was mocked of you, but when he passed you a little card and you read that little card, your heart broke.

“I’m so sorry Arthur, I don’t want to be rude with-“

“It’s- It’s… O… Oka…”

He still laughs, and you, without experience in that cases, you hugged him and massaging his back. That was the first and last hug you shared. Arthur for a moment he felted safe, he felted confidence, and he return the hug. This could have made you two closers, made a pretty friendship.

If Randall hadn't opened his mouth:

“Hey Artie, Is she your new girlfriend? The lady Y/N have an expensive taste, I don’t think you can give her what she wants”

That was the first time Randall disrespected you. You were speechless because you didn’t expect it from him. And Arthur felt so insecure back, he doesn’t laugh again, but he apart to you, ashamed. He didn't want them to think you were his girlfriend, because he didn't want them to mess with you like they did with him.

And now, he tried to avoid you. That sometimes hurt your feelings. And felted some stupid, you started to feel attracted to him. You don’t want a friendship anymore; you want to be the girlfriend of Arthur Fleck.

But now, that’s was impossible.

Thank you, Randall, thank you for ruining everything".

“Hey Arthur” The voice of Gary sends you to the present again “Hoyt wants to see you in his office, he has a job for you today”

“Uh?” you heard a deep breath of Arthur and his steps to the office. You looked everyone, and they started try to mocked in silence.

You can’t hold it more.

“What’s so fucking funny?” You talked, almost screamed to them. They thought you were angry for share with Arthur your afternoon and job. You were really angry at them for making fun of him.

When Arthur backs, you were so nervous, you wanted to see him, but you were very shy for do it.

“H-Hello Y/N”

His voice, he called you.

Your heart beat like it had a life of it's own. “Hi Arthur! How are you today?”

“Eh… Fine, I think I’m fine, thank you…A-and you?”

You could notice he was very nervous. You didn't know if he still wanted to avoid you or he was just more shy than usual. Maybe he was ashamed to have to interact with you after he took you away from him himself.

It didn't matter, you'd forgive him. It didn't matter what he did.

“Fine too, thank you Arthur. So, Hoyt tell you about the job of today?”

“Y-yeah, a birthday party”

“C’mon Arthur, sit with me, don’t be shy” Arthur was discussed with himself whether he should do it or not. Then he scolded himself, you were being kind to him, he should reciprocate you. He sat with you, shyly. “So, Arthur, you worked with a partner before?”

“N-no…”

“Oh… Well, there’s always a first time, I’m so glad to work with you today, we gonna be a great team you and me”

The enthusiasm you radiated left Arthur delighted, why did he try to avoid you all this time? You were very kind to him, he had to be thankful.

“I hope so… I-I have a pair of ideas f-for the show”

“Really? Tell me Arthur”

You and him spent at least two hours preparing the show, perfecting it. The others at Ha-ha's, who waited a moment to mock him, just got tired of waiting. Even one who else realized you two made a good duo.

After prepared the show, it was the time to convert you in Carnival and Night Mime. You put on a purple jumper with a yellow blouse, big black and golden clown shoes and white gloves. You decide to use a two colors wig, turquoise and black, with a purple beret. Arthur get prepared for convert in Carnival too. He put his clown make up and his very cute clown suit.

You don’t have idea how to use your makeup today. Arthur noticed that, and he confused it a little.

“You don’t have one only make-up?”

You refused, making noises with your throat “I always change my makeup, but I don’t have inspiration today…”

“C-can I help you with y-your makeup?”

He really does it for you? You felted you going to melt for his tenderness.

“…That’s sounds great Arthur! Please, just don’t make me ugly”

“That’s impossible…” He whispered, but you heard him anyway. Blushed again.

Arthur started to makeup your face, something like the Carnival’s makeup but in pastel colors, more feminine and putting a heart in your nose instead a circle.

“That’s so beautiful Arthur!” You said very happy as you looked at yourself with your little mirror.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it!”

“Thank you, Y/N ...”

“No, thank you Arthur… Well, let’s go, it’s show time!”

You two advised Hoyt of your parting and went to the birthday party. It was the party of a little boy who would be 8 years old. The party wouldn't have been the same without the clowns. They cheered the place, told jokes that made even the adults laugh, played with the kids, Night Mime gave to the children a mime show, Carnival inflated balloons and made animals of those balloons, and finally Night Mime danced a song from Carnival's Ukulele.

When the party was over and they got their paycheck, you thought you'd invite Arthur to dinner at a coffee shop.

“I told you Arthur! That was amazing!” You almost cried to Arthur; he only could smile. You thought how unique two clowns should look in a coffee shop eating desserts and drinking sodas.

“Yeah, you’re right Y/N… I, I really like to work with you”

“Me too! Carnival and Night Mime really like each other, I hope they work together again”

“I hope it too…” Arthur drink to his soda. You looked him again. How you thanked to Hoyt for giving you the "penalty" to work with Arthur, you enjoyed every second.

“Arthur”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“You think we just… Mmhh…”

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to go to eat again with me?”

Arthur blinked to make sure it wasn't a joke you were telling him. Were you asking him to both come out again? Arthur could only feel that the butterflies in his stomach fluttered uncontrolled.

“Oh… Y/N, I, I love it, I love spend the time with you”

Arthur realized that maybe the following words he said would be misunderstood. Maybe you'd misunderstand him and get mad with him, maybe you'd be so angry that you'd leave him alone there.

But instead, you smiled at him.

“Arthur. Yeah, we must to go out again. Maybe the cinema next time?”

“Sure, I love movies”

Arthur smiled, were you asking him out on a date? Wait, you two were dating as a couple or friends? He chases the second option; it was the most probability.

And so, that’s was your plan, but at first only. You wanted things to be slowly given. You wanted him to succumb too to the same feelings you were trapped in.

But he was already trapped in those feelings too, but he was less brave.

…

The days went too fast, maybe it was already weeks, or months, but you and Arthur were best friends. Gradually you knew better that man in a yellow jacket who had the noblest soul in the world, knew his flaws, his qualities, every little detail of him in his life. And you also let him into your life, he would soon know what your favorite perfume was and that one of your favorite flowers was lilies.

Your feelings also increased too much; you felt your heart inflated as much as a balloon when you saw him, that one of those day you would fly out the window.

Arthur felt the same way about you. He loved the scent of your hair, the color of your eyes, your joy, your spontaneity. Even inside his mind he played that Carnival was in love with Night Mime too.

But again, his insecurities assured him that all those games were absurd, that you were his friend. You only saw him that way. He was said to himself you would find someone special soon, and that he should let you be happy with that someone.

But soon, things were going to change, and very badly.

One day, an animated Arthur told you he was going to a job at a music store, you wished him luck and enjoyed the show. When you were in your apartment, eating a couple of cookies, the phone was ringing. You ran to it and responded, it was Arthur, crying.

“Honey! What happened?! Are you okay?!”

“I-I got jumped Y/N, I got jumped for a bunch of kids…” His broken voice make you cry too. But you did it in silence, just for not worry him “It’s so stupid…”

“No Artie, that’s not stupid. Are you in home? You don’t wanna I go to your apartment?”

“No Y/N, it’s late, I don’t want you get assault too. W-we can talk about it tomorrow in the work”

“Okay darling… Are you okay, Artie? They didn’t hurt you?”

“…No, don’t worry for me, I’m fine…”

“Artie, I’m so sorry to hear this… Don’t worry, you can tell me everything tomorrow, right?”

“Right… Hey Y/N… Thank you, thank you so much for be my friend…”

You wiped your tear from your cheek. You talked a little more on the phone until he said the dream was beating him. You knew how bad Arthur was financially, you counted your bucks, and fortunately you had extra money. You could help Arthur with that.

…

“Randall… I’m not supposed to have a gun”

Randall had given Arthur a gun, under the pretext that he could defend himself a little.

“Don’t sweat it, Art. No one has to know, and you can pay me back some other time. You know you’re my boy”

Arthur saw the gun inside the paper bag again. He started laughing nervously. Maybe Randall was right, maybe he needed something like that to defend himself against those who wanted to hurt him.

“Hey Arthur, another thing. Don’t tell about this to your friend, Y/N”

Arthur, who was smiling, stopped doing it when Randall asked him that. “Why not?”

“…Because she is a woman, women don’t understand about guns and these things, that’s secret was between you and me, right?”

“Okay..." Arthur kept the gun in his locker, just then, you showed up. And you looked at his back. And the contusion in his scapula.

“Arthur”

Arthur was shocked with your voice. He feared you'd find him with the gun in his hands, but unfortunately, you couldn't see the paper bag. You could only see that purple stain on his back.

Randall left there, he knew very well when you were present, he wasn't welcome. But you didn't even care about Randall's presence. You come up to Arthur and made him sit on the seat, you sat down too.

You couldn't find the words to express yourself.

“Arthur, why you lied to me?” You asked him in a brittle voice, you didn't cry just because you were at Ha-ha's.

“What? I don’t lie to you”

“You did it! You said you hadn't been hurt when you were assaulted, and the first thing I see is that huge blow on your back, Arthur."

Arthur was embarrassed. What you were saying was true. He had lied to you, that wasn't something you could easily forgive.

“I-I don’t want to worried you, Y/N, I-”

“Well, now I’m double worry for you, because you’re hurt Arthur, they hurt you…”

Arthur looked at the ground, ashamed so many things, was ashamed that you saw him shirtless, that you saw the blows to his body, he was ashamed to have lied to you, he was ashamed to had worried you.

“I-I’m so sorry Y/N, I really don’t want to worried you. I’m sorry to lied you Y/N, I’m sorry” He hugged you, hiding his face on your shoulder, hoping that his condition would not betray him at that moment. You hugged him, you honestly were a little disappointed with him because he hid the truth from you, but Arthur did it so you wouldn't worry. He wouldn't do it with other intentions.

Randall only watched you from afar, disliked the scene, how come someone was able to hug Arthur?

“Arthur” Gary appears again “Hoyt wants to see you in his office”

You stopped hugging him so he could go with Hoyt, Arthur put on his white shirt and went to the office.

“Hey Gary” Randall opened his mouth “Do you people call it miniature golf or is just golf to you?”

Some clowns started to laugh; Gary feel embarrassed again.

You get mad, really mad, why the people love to mess with those who were not to blame for their circumstances?

“So fucking funny Randall, did you tell to your wife that joke?” You looked at him “Oh yeah, you don’t have nobody to love, and nobody loves you”

"Hey Y/N, when will you and Arthur's wedding be? Because I can’t wait, I must to rent a suit for that event"

They made fun of you again, but not Randall, you weren't going to win this time.

"Soon Randall, very soon, but don't worry, you're not going to be invited, and I don't think any suit of all Gotham fits on you"

The laughter was heard all over the room, even Gary tried not to laugh, but was impossible. Randall was clearly angry, you smiled maliciously.

But all the fun for you ended when you see Arthur leaving the office, and leaving the building. Something bad happened. In the middle of the laughs, you got up and went after him. You came down the stairs.

You left the building and got to see Arthur walk into an alley. You ran after him. And you saw the image of Arthur kicking a few garbage bags. You've never seen him like this before, so angry, mad and furious.

Arthur falls to grown, feeling some stupid, but he really felted so frustrated.

“A-Arthur?”

He gets dumbfounded and turned surprised at you when he was crying and hugging his legs on the floor.

“Y/N? What you’re doing here?”

“I see you leave the job, what happened?” Despite the bad smell, you sat next to him. And then, you heard him, you never heard his voice full of angry and sadness at the same time.

"Hoyt said he was going to take it from my check the sign that those who assaulted me destroyed, he thinks I kept it, why would I keep his sign, Y/N? He said he didn't think I was assaulted for the sign, and I need the money, I need the money for my mother… He also said that... That many at work are not comfortable with me, they think I’m a freak, a weird. Y/N, is that true? I’m a freak? You feel uncomfortable with me?"

Arthur's voice nearly broke when he asked you that.

And now, it’s was your turn to get mad too.

“Arthur, what the fuck? Why Hoyt say that bullshit?”

“M-maybe it’s true”

How they dare to hurt Arthur?

“Well he’s is fucking wrong! I don’t think you’re a freak, I think you’re just a human” You took a pair of tufts of his hair “You don’t make me uncomfortable, you’re my best friend darling, please Arthur, believe in that, right?”

“R-right…” You surrounded him with your arms one more time. But that injustice to him wasn't going to look like that.

A little while later, you went to Hoyt’s office

“Can I help you, Y/N?” He said without looking you.

A loud noise made he stops to read some letters. It was your hand with a bunch of dollars.

“For your fucking sign. By the way, he’s not a freak”

He looked at you, and he didn't know if it was the way you spoke him or he'd never seen anyone defend Arthur the way you did.

He only took the bunch and counts the money.

“It’s okay…You can go”

And you leave the place.

…

That morning you woke up, you felt something bad was going to happen. Your instinct was telling you.

In Ha-ha’s, Arthur mentioned to you he was going to a children's hospital.

"Night Mime could come with you" You suggested, you could make back that fantastic duo, in fact, when you both worked together, they even tipped them for yourselves, you kept a little and with the rest you were going to eat at some small restaurant.

"That's a great idea, let me ask to Hoyt" Arthur went to Hoyt's office excitedly. That day, you felt the need to stand by him, to protect him.

Arthur backs with a disappointed face.

“And? What Hoyt says?”

“He said no”

“Oh…”

You also got disappointed, you really wanted to be with him that day.

“It’s okay, I’ll be alright”

“Yeah, you’re going into a hospital, a children’s hospital, nothing bad gonna happen”

He smiled at you. He prepares himself to convert in Carnival Clown. Before he let the place, you wish him good luck. And you don’t know this was the last time you’ll see Arthur in a lot of time.

The next day, you went to Ha-ha's in the afternoon as you had a little event at a school. You didn't know everything that was going on in the city until you got here. Hoyt said the school had canceled the clown show.

“Why? Why they cancelled the show?”

“You didn’t know Y/N? for the fucking killer clown”

The words "Killer Clown" took you by surprise.

“KILLER CLOWN?! What the…? What happened?”

“Y/N! Right here!” One of the clowns pass you a newspaper, you read the notice. A killer clown kills three rich guys in the subway.

“Oh my… What horrible” You said with total honestly. And you notice to Randall was so very nervous. You slowly went to where Gary was sitting.

“Gary” You whispered to him “What happened to Randall? I very enjoy the show, but I want to know why he’s like this?

In that moment, Gary saw you with some concern and preoccupation.

“Oh Y/N, a lot of things happened in the morning”

“What?”

“This… Well, it’s about Arthur”

You worried instantly, because Gary's face said a lot of things and at the same time nothing.

“Arthur? Arthur It’s okay?”

“Y/N… Arthur bring a gun to the children’s hospital; they warned to Hoyt about it and he fired Arthur”

Your mind clouded at that instant, your eyes became small, trying to understand all the information exposed to you in that little sentence your co-worker told you.

Arthur with a gun? Take it to a children's hospital? Arthur getting fired from Ha-ha's?

“…And today, he said the gun was Randall’s in front everything, and Arthur owed money to Randall from that gun”

As if it wasn't too much information to process the one you received first.

“What… What the fucking hell?”

Your mind processed everything, absolutely everything. Why would Arthur carry a gun? He himself had told you before that he could not take one, would Randall have forced or insisted until he had accepted? That’s probability, and now again thank to Randall, Arthur was out of job.

Randall deserved the little hell in he was in that moment.

…

You waited to the night, use you telephone and called to Arthur. You hoping he response the call.

You called him for three times, in the third time, he answered.

“Who is this?”

“Art… It’s me, Y/N, are you okay Artie?”

“Hey Y/N, I’m fine, I’m really fine, thank you, and you?”

You noticed that voice wasn't Arthur's. You knew it was him, but not at the same time. He sounded so different, like he was someone else, a stranger, not the Artie you knew, the Arthur who was your best friend.

“…Worry Artie… Gary told me everything about the morning in the job, it’s true about the gun, Arthur? it’s true Randall gave it to you?"

He didn't answer for a few seconds. You even though the phone was failing.

“Why you want to know that?”

You got frozen when you heard that, why Arthur was talking to you like that?

"Because I care about you, why you didn't tell me Randall gave you a gun? You know Randall is an asshole. I can, I can tell Hoyt you explained to me that the gun was a toy, I can get one just like it, and we could get rid of the real gun, we can…"

You were looking for a plan A, a plan B, a plan C, possibly a plan for every letter of the alphabet, something you could help Arthur with it, because he didn't deserve to be fired, you could help him, you wanted to help him. Your love for him was so big that maybe you could let forgive him that he's hidden things from you, he should keep his own secrets, right? But you really wanted to help him.

“It’s okay Y/N, I don’t need that job anymore, everyone there was awful with me, don’t need to support they shit. Don’t fix my mistakes, please”

Frozen, again.

And what did he mean by that they were all awful to him? He was forgetting you and Gary?

“Arthur… A-Are you really okay?”

“You don’t listen me? I told you, I’m fine, really fine, thank you, I guess”

But what the fuck was going on with Arthur? Maybe he was irritated and upset about Ha-ha's and the incident, but it was no reason to treat you so indifferent. It was much worse than when he was trying to avoid you at Ha-ha's for the first time, only that time it was for shyness. Now it looked like you really bothered him.

“I’m sorry Arthur, I just… Can I see you soon Artie? In your apartment? I can bring some candies and chips, what you think?”

Maybe you could make better his days, maybe it was time to tell the truth, to tell how you really felt about him.

But what you never expected of him was a rejection. Or at least something like that.

“I'll call you. Bye"

He hung up the phone, you said his name twice to make sure it wasn't. But yes, he hung up on you, ending the call.

You tried to understand him for the first few seconds, but soon your blouse and hands would start to soak in your tears.

Continue

#Arthur Fleck fanfiction #joker fanfic #Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader #Joker x Reader #joker x you #Arthur Fleck x Reader #joker fandom #joker film #joker movie #joker joaquin phoenix #joker #arthur fleck #arthur x reader

58 notes · View notes

beabadoobiez · 7 years

Text

.･ﾟﾟ･ A NAMES MASTERLIST ･ﾟﾟ･.

so what is up rpc! below the cut you’ll find (392) male, female, + unisex names not commonly used in rp and are not your standard molly, alex, alyssa, or joesph! these are all a few of my faves and i’ll even include the origins + meanings!

aarav: (m): hindi: meaning: peaceful

aapeli: (m): finnish, hebrew: breathing

araceli: (f): latin: altar of heaven

abel: (m): hebrew: meaning: breath; vanity

aiko: (f): japanese: little loved one

alison: (f): german: meaning: noble; kind

alain: (m): german: precious

alayna: (f): german: precious; sun ray

aliza: (f): hebrew: joy

ambrosia: (f): greek: immortal

amir: (m): hebrew: meaning: prince

angie: (f): greek: meaning: angel

armando: (m): german: soldier

asad: (m): arabic: more fortunate

avery: (unisex): anglo-saxon: meaning: conselor

axel: (m): hebrew: father is peace

bach: (m): german: beside a stream

bailey: (unisex): teutonic: meaning: able

bambi: (f): italian: little girl

bali: (f): hindi: soldier

bao: (f): chinese: precious treasure

barney: (m): hebrew: the son of encouragement

basia: (f): czech: foreign woman, stranger, exotic

bahati: (f): african: lucky, fortunate (swahili)

bennet: (m): latin: little blessed on

benson: (m): british: son of ben

billi: (f): british: determined protector

bijoux: (f): native american: jewel

blanca: (f): italian: pure

bristol: (m): british: meeting place by the bridge

brahm: (m): hebrew: father of multitude

brody: (m): irish: ditch

bowie: (m): scottish: blond

cacie: (f): irish: thorny tree

caesar: (m): latin: head of hair

caidon: (m): arabic: companion

casimir: (m): slavic: famous destroyer

calantha: (f): greek: beautiful flower

cambria: (f): welsh: the people

capri: (f): italian: an italian island famous for its beauty

cedric: (m): british: kindly, loved

chandler: (unisex): english: candle maker

charlotte: (f): german: free man

christia: (f): latin: follower of christ

claus: (m): german: people of victory

cosmo: (m): italian: order, organization, beauty

cressentia: (f): french: increasing growing

cyrus: (m): persian: several king of persia

daemon: (m): greek: guardian spirit

dai: (f): japanese: large; generation

dain(e): (m): american: variant of dane from denmark

dakoda: (unisex): native american: the allies

dario: (m): latin: rich, wealthy

darlene: (f): english: dearling; darling

danaca: (f): slavic: morning star; venus

dantae: (m): spanish: enduring

dalila: (f): african: desired; languishing

davian: (m): american: variant of david beloved

davita: (f): hebrew: beloved

declan: (m): irish: unknown meaning

deedra: (f): irish: melancholy

demetrius: (m): greek: follower of demeter (who was the greek goddess of corn and harvest)

destiny: (f): portuguese: fate

eachann: (m): scottish: brown horse

earnest: (m): german: serious minded

ebele: (f): african: compassion

edan: (m): gaelic: like a fire

eden: (unisex): hebrew: place of delight

edie: (f): english: fighting to be rich

edna: (f): gaelic: little seed, kernel

edmund: (m): english: rich guardian

eeva: (f): finnish/hebrew: living and breathing

eirik: (m): norwegian, old norse: king forever

elaine: (f): greek: torch of light

electra: (f): greek: shining, radiant

elias: (m): hebrew: yahweh is my God

elisa: (f): hebrew: promise of God

elton: (m): english: ella’s land

emmett: (m): german: universal man

fabiola: (f): french, italian, latin, + spanish: lovely bean

falcon: (m): english, french: falcon keeper

fallon: (f): irish: leader’s daughter

farrell: (m): gaelic: son of the man of valor

fawn: (f): english: little young deer

federico: (m): germanic + spanish: calm monarch

felicity: (f): latin: filled with happiness

fenton: (m): english: from a settlement near a marsh

frenanda: (f): germanic: on a daring trip

finley: (unisex): gaelic: pure fighter

finnian: (m): gaelic + irish: white or fair

fiona: (f): irish: fair woman

fisher: (m): english: fisherman

fitzgerald: (m): english + french: son of a powerful ruler

fleur: (f): latin: like a flower

gabby: (f): hebrew: God’s bravest woman

gage: (m): english: in charge of weights and measures

gaia: (f): greek + italian: from the earth

garnet: (unisex): french + latin: a person who makes door hinges

gabriel: (m): hebrew: God’s bravest man

gary: (m): a spear

gennette: (f): Hebrew: God is merciful

genevieve: (f): germanic: leader of the tribe

geoffrey: (m): a peaceful ruler

georgina: (f): greek: farming woman

gerardo: (m): germanic + spanish: strong like a spear

gigi: (f): latin: virgin woman

gilbert: (m): germanic: bright young man

gilda: (f): germanic: woman of sacrifice

gilmore: (m): gaelic: servant of the virgin mary

hades: (m): greek: not being seen

hadley: (unisex): english: meadow of heathers

hai: (f): chinese: coming from the sea

hakim: (m): arabic: wise

halina: (m): greek + polish: woman of serenity

haneul: (m): korean: heavenly

hania: (f): hebrew + polish: gracious

hanson: (m): english + hebrew: son of john

harmony: (f): greek: harmony

hathai: (f): thai: heart

hattie: (f): germanic: ruler of the

hayes: (m): english: brushwood or undergrowth

hazel: (f): english: hazel tree

heath: (m): english: hailing from a region with heather

hera: (f): greek: heroine

iines: (f): finnish + greek: sacred, chaste

iman: (unisex): arabic: faith person

imani: (f): african: faithful person

india: (f): sanskrit: from river indus

ingram: (m): germanic: tribe from englanda in germany

iolana: (f): hawaiian: soaring bird

irene: (f): greek: woman of peace

irvin: (m): english + scottish: water of green

isaac: (m): hebrew: one who brings laughter

isa: (f): dutch + italian + latin + spanish: promise of God

ishmael: (m): hebrew: God hears

israel: (m): hebrew: a person who struggles with God

iverson: (m): english + welsh: son of ivor

ivy: (f): english: climbing plant

izumi: (m): japanese: spring

jabir: (m): arabic: one who comforts

jacinta: (f): greek: hyacinth flower

jacques: (m): hebrew: following after

jaden: (unisex): english: unclear

jairo: (m): hebrew: a person who enlightens

jakayla: (f): greek: chaste + pure

jaleesa: (f): hebrew: promise of God

jamal: (m): arabic: handsome or beautiful

jamila: (f): arabic: gorgeous woman

jari: (m): hebrew + old norse: helmeted soldier

jasmine: (f): persian: jasmine flower

jasper: (m): english + persian: king of the treasure

jaylee: (f): english: jay bird

jedaiah: (m): hebrew: knowing yahweh

jesenia: (f): spanish: like a flower

kachina: (f): native american: dancing spirit

kaden: (m): english + gaelic: son of cadan

kadri: (m): turkish: valuable

kaija: (f): finnish + greek: caste + pure

kaiya: (f): japanese: forgiving

kaiser: (m): latin: head full of hair

kakalina: (f): greek + hawaiian: chaste + pure

kaleb: (m): hebrew: to be faithful

kalem: (m): english + latin: a truthful man

kali: (f): sanskrit: woman of gloom

kaliko: (unisex): hawaiian: beautiful bud

kalino: (m): hawaiian: brilliant one

kalisha: (f): latin: fortunate woman

kamal: (m): arabic: excellence

kamaria: (f): arabic: the moon

lachina: (f): scottish: land filled with lakes

lachlan: (m): gaelic: land filled with lakes

lady: (f): english: woman of high manners

lagina: (f): latin: queen

lamar: (m): french + latin: from near a pool

lamont: (m): old norse: lawyer

lana: (f): germanic: valuable + precious

lance: (m): germanic: land or region

lanh: (unisex): vietnamese: happy person

lani: (f): hawaiian: heavenly woman

larkin: (m): latin: city of laurels

lassie: (f): english: little girl

latrell: (m): celtic: king’s property

leandra: (f): greek: lion woman

leighton: (m): english: leek farms

macario: (m): greek: to be blessed

mackenzie: (unisex): gaelic: pretty + good-looking

madden: (m): gaelic: puppy

maeve: (f): gaelic: intoxicating woman

mahealani: (f): hawaiian: divine mist

major: (m): germanic + latin: spear counsel

makaio: (m): hawaiian + hebrew: God has rewarded

makenna: (f): gaelic: fire born

malai: (f): thai: flower garland

malcolm: (m): gaelic: flower of saint columba

maleko: (m): hawaiian + latin: pledged to mars + warrior

malie: (f): hawaiian: serene

mallory: (f): french: unlucky

manila: (f): sanskrit: son’s jewel

mannis: (m): hebrew + latin: greatness

nave: (f): french: born at night

naria: (f): native american: woman with big eyes

nasir: (m): arabic: supporter

nava: (f): hebrew: gorgeous

navid: (m): persian: bringing good news

neelam: (unisex): sanskrit: blue sapphire

nehemiah: (m): hebrew: yahweh comforts

nenet: (f): egyptian: goddess of the depth

nerissa: (f): greek: nymph of the sea

nero: (m): italian + latin: the strong one

niccolo: (m): greek: people’s triumph

nigel: (m): gaelic: coming from clouds

nilda: (f): germanic: prepared for battle

nixie: (f): germanic: water spirit

noel: (m): french + latin: christmas

odin: (m): old norse: fury

odelia: (f): germanic: riches

olaf: (m): old norse: descendant of

olander: (m): swedish: sweden

ollie: (unisex): latin: olive

olympia: (f): greek: from mount olympus

omari: (m): arabic: to flourish or to thrive

ona: (f): hebrew: gracious + merciful

organa: (f): italian + latin: golden + sunrise

orpheus: (m): greek: darkness

ova: (f): latin: from a little egg

paavo: (m): finnish + latin: tiny + petite

palma: (f): spanish: palm tree

pan: (m): greek: god of nature

praisa: (f): persian: fairy-like

pascal: (m): latin: easter-related

patsy: (unisex): aramaic: lady of the house

penelope: (f): greek: weaver

percy: (m): french: pierce the valley

perla: (f): italian + latin + spanish: gemstone

perry: (m): germanic + latin: herry’s son

phaedra: (f): greek: bright + radiant

phineas: (m): english + hebrew: oracle or soothsayer

pierre: (m): greek: rock

pina: (f): hebrew: God raises

prema: (f): indian + sanskrit: loving

qadira: (f): arabic: full of power

quade: (m): latin: born fourth

quincy: (m): latin: born fifth

quinn: (unisex): irish: wise + reasonable

querida: (f): spanish: darling

qiana: (f): english: soft + silky

qiang: (m): chinese: strong man

ra: (m): egyptian: god of the sun

rada: (f): russian + slavic: filled with care

rafael: (m): hebrew: God heals

range: (f): danish + old norse + swedish: giving advice

rahim: (m): arabic + persian: to be kind or to show mercy

raider: (m): japanese: god of thunder

raine: (f): french: woman of lorraine

raisa: (f): greek + russian: easy-going

ramiro: (m): germanic + spanish: famous counsel

randi: (f): latin: admirable

raven: (unisex): english: dark bird

rayen: (f): native american: blossom

regis: (m): latin: king

rei: (f): japanese: darling

reuben: (m): hebrew: see my son

sabina: (f): czech + latin + polish + portuguese + russian: from the sabine tribe

saber: (m): japanese: third male child

sachi: (f): japanese: blessed child

sahib: (m): indian: lord and master

salma: (f): arabic: safe + peaceful

salvador: (m): latin: one who saves

samara: (f): hebrew: watched over by God

samson: (m): hebrew: sun

sanaa: (f): african: piece of art

sancho: (m): latin + spanish: sacred or holy

sandy: (unisex): greek: protector of humanity

sanem: (f): turkish: perfection

sang: (m): vietnamese: bright one

saniya: (f): hindi: dazzling + brilliant

santos: (m): latin + spanish: saint

taavi: (m): finnish + hebrew: adored

tabitha: (f): aramic: like a gazelle

tadashi: (m): japanese: correct or accurate

tadita: (f): native american: the running one

talia: (f): hebrew: God’s dew

tamas: (m): aramaic + hungarian: twin

tamaya: (f): native american: in the middle

tamiko: (f): japanese: beautiful children

tamir: (m): arabic: rich man

taner: (m): turkish: born with sunrise

tara: (f): gaelic: from the hill

tariq: (m): arabic: who knocks on the door at night

tasia: (f): greek: resurrection

tatsuya: (m): japanese: one who is well accomplished

tatum: (unisex): english: form the farmstead of tata

vadim: (m): russian + slavic: ruler

valda: (f): germanic: powerful ruler

valdemar: (m): germanic: famous ruler

valencia: (f): latin: strength + power

valentin: (m): latin: hale and healthy

valentina: (f): italian + latin + russian + spanish: strong and sound

valerian: (m): latin: powerful + strong

valerio: (m): italian + latin + portuguese + spanish: powerful + strong

vana: (f): hebrew: God is merciful

vance: (m): english: from the moors

vanda: (f): czech + germanic: from the vandal tribe

varick: (m): germanic: a protective ruler or king

varya: (f): greek + russian: stranger + foreigner

vashti: (f): persian: excellent + beautiful

vinh: (unisex): vietnamese: glorious

wade: (m): english: from near a ford

waiola: (f): hawaiian + latin: violet flower

walden: (m): english: forest valley

wanda: (f): germanic: from the vandal tribe

warden: (m): english + germanic: guardian or watchman

wednesday: (f): english: mercury day

wekesa: (m): african: harvest child

wendy: (f): german: family + wanderer

wentworth: (m): english: from a farm near the woods

wera: (f): latin + polish: victory bearer

wessel: (m): germanic: army guard

whitley: (f): english: from a white clearing

wies: (m): germanic: famous warrior

wikolia: (f): hawaiian + latin: woman of victory

xander: (m): greek: defender of man

xandra: (f): greek: protector of humanity

xenia: (f): greek: woman of hospitality

xenon: (m): greek: foreign person or stranger

xiang: (unisex): chinese: good luck

ximena: (f): hebrew: one who has heard

xing: (m): chinese: successful or thriving

xiomara: (f): germanic: glorious in war

xun: (m): chinese: very quick or fast

yadira: (f): arabic: unclear

yaegar: (m): germanic: hunter

yakira: (f): hebrew: dear + beloved

yakov: (m): hebrew: following after

yamato: (m): japanese: old japan

yasamin: (f): persian: jasmine flower

yashiv: (m): hebrew: God will answer

yelena: (f): greek: torch of light

yen: (f): vietnamese: woman of peace

yeriel: (m): hebrew: God has established

yermolai: (m): greek + russian: heap of stones

yeong: (unisex): korean: person with courage

yesenia: (f): spanish: like a flower

yesfir: (f): persian + russian: star-like

yilmaz: (m): turkish: unshaken

zaan: (m): dutch: from near the zaan river

zahara: (f): hebrew: radiance

zaina: (f): arabic: lovely + pretty

zaire: (m): african + arabic: river

zakai: (m): hebrew: pure, clear or blameless

zaklina: (f): hebrew + polish: one who supplants

zamir: (m): arabic: beautiful voice

zan: (unisex): chinese: providing support

sandra: (f): greek: protector of humanity

zane: (m): english: unclear

zara: (f): arabic: radiant

zavier: (m): basque: new home

zeinab: (f): arabic: flower of the desert

zeki: (m): turkish: man of intelligence

zen: (f): greek: woman of hospitality

#twitter rp #rpt #rpc #rph #you can probably tell where i stopped the italics alsdjka #im lazy #mine

418 notes · View notes

a-bit-of-lit-blog · 7 years

Photo

i noticed y’all have been enjoying my novel masterposts. so im just going to keep posting because im obsessed with books like that T.T

for my study-like-rory studyblr friends who want to read all the books mentioned in gilmore girls (because hello?? who doesn’t??), here’s a list! pls let me know if i missed a book, but i think it’s quite a complete list! enjoy!!

1984 – George Orwell

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain

Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – Michael Chabon

An American Tragedy – Theodore Dreiser

Angela’s Ashes – Frank McCourt

Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank

Archidamian War – Donald Kagen

The Art of Fiction – Henry James

The Art of War – Sun Tzu

As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner

Atonement – Ian McEwan

The Awakening – Kate Chopin

Autobiography of a Face – Lucy Grealy

Babe – Dick King-Smith

Backlash – Susan Faludi

Balzac & the Little Chinese Seamstress – Dai Sijie

The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath

Beloved – Toni Morrison

Beowulf – Seamus Heaney

The Bhagava Gita

The Bielski Brothers – Peter Duffy

Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women – Elizabeth Wurtzel

A Bolt From the Blue & other Essays – Mary McCarthy

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

Brick Lane – Monica Ali

Brigadoon – Alan Jay Lerner

Candide – Voltaire

The Canterbury Tales – Chaucer

Carrie –Stephen King

Catch – 22 – Joseph Heller

The Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger

The Celebrated Jumping Frog – Mark Twain

Charlotte’s Web – EB White

The Children’s Hour – Lilian Hellman

Christine – Stephen King

A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess

The Code of the Woosters – PG Wodehouse

The Collected Short Stories – Eudora Welty

The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty

A Comedy of Errors – William Shakespeare

Complete Novels – Dawn Powell

The Complete Poems – Anne Sexton

Complete Stories – Dorothy Parker

A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

Cousin Bette – Honore de Balzac

Crime & Punishment – Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Crimson Petal & the White – Michael Faber

The Crucible – Arthur Miller

Cujo – Stephen King

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime – Mark Haddon

Daughter of Fortune – Isabel Allende

David and Lisa – Dr. Theodore Issac Rubin

David Coperfield – Charles Dickens

The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown

Deal Souls – Nikolai Gogol (Season 3, episode 3)

Demons – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Death of a Salesman – Arthur Miller

Deenie – Judy Blume

The Devil in the White City – Erik Larson

The Dirt – Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mark, & Nikki Sixx

The Divine Comedy – Dante

The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood – Rebecca Wells

Don Quijote – Cervantes

Driving Miss Daisy – Alfred Uhrv

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson

Complete Tales & Poems – Edgar Allan Poe

Eleanor Roosevelt – Blanche Wiesen Cook

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test – Tom Wolfe

Ella Minnow Pea – Mark Dunn

Eloise – Kay Thompson

Emily the Strange – Roger Reger

Emma – Jane Austen

Empire Falls – Richard Russo

Encyclopedia Brown – Donald J. Sobol

Ethan Frome – Edith Wharton

Ethics – Spinoza

Eva Luna – Isabel Allende

Everything is Illuminated – Jonathon Safran Foer

Extravagance – Gary Kist

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury

Fahrenheit 911 – Michael Moore

The Fall of the Athenian Empire – Donald Kagan

Fat Land:How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World – Greg Critser

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S. Thompson

The Fellowship of the Ring – J R R Tolkien

Fiddler on the Roof – Joseph Stein

The Five People You Meet in Heaven – Mitch Albom

Finnegan’s Wake – James Joyce

Fletch – Gregory McDonald

Flowers of Algernon – Daniel Keyes

The Fortress of Solitude – Jonathon Lethem

The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand

Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

Franny and Zooey – JD Salinger

Freaky Friday – Mary Rodgers

Galapagos – Kurt Vonnegut

Gender Trouble – Judith Baker

George W. Bushism – Jacob Weisberg

Gidget – Fredrick Kohner

Girl, Interrupted – Susanna Kaysen

The Ghostic Gospels – Elaine Pagels

The Godfather – Mario Puzo

The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy

Goldilocks & the Three Bears – Alvin Granowsky

Gone with the Wind – Margaret Mitchell

The Good Soldier – Ford Maddox Ford

The Gospel According to Judy Bloom

The Graduate – Charles Webb

The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

The Group – Mary McCarthy

Hamlet – Shakespeare

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – JK Rowling

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – JK Rowling

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers

Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

Helter Skelter – Vincent Bugliosi

Henry IV, Part 1 – Shakespeare

Henry IV, Part 2 – Shakespeare

Henry V – Shakespeare

High Fidelity – Nick Hornby

The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire – Edward Gibbons

Holidays on Ice – David Sedaris

The Holy Barbarians – Lawrence Lipton

House of Sand and Fog – Andre Dubus III

The House of the Spirits – Isabel Allende

How to Breathe Underwater – Julie Orringer

How the Grinch Stole Christmas – Dr. Seuss

How the Light Gets In – MJ Hyland

Howl – Alan Ginsburg

The Hunchback of Notre Dame – Victor Hugo

The Illiad – Homer

I’m With the Band – Pamela des Barres

In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

Inferno – Dante

Inherit the Wind – Jerome Lawrence & Robert E Lee

Iron Weed – William J. Kennedy

It Takes a Village – Hilary Clinton

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

The Joy Luck Club – Amy Tan

Julius Caesar – Shakespeare

The Jungle – Upton Sinclair

Just a Couple of Days – Tony Vigorito

The Kitchen Boy – Robert Alexander

Kitchen Confidential – Anthony Bourdain

The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

Lady Chatterley’s Lover – DH Lawrence

The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 – Gore Vidal

Leaves of Grass – Walt Whitman

The Legend of Bagger Vance – Steven Pressfield

Less Than Zero – Bret Easton Ellis

Letters to a Young Poet – Rainer Maria Rilke

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them – Al Franken

Life of Pi – Yann Martel

Little Dorrit – Charles Dickens

The Little Locksmith – Katharine Butler Hathaway

The Little Match Girl – Hans Christian Anderson

Little Woman – Louisa May Alcott

Living History – Hillary Clinton

Lord of the Flies – William Golding

The Lottery & Other Stories – Shirley Jackson

The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold

The Love Story – Eric Segal

Macbeth – Shakespeare

Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert

The Manticore – Robertson Davies (Season 3, episode 3)

Marathon Man – William Goldman

The Master and Margarita – Mikhail Bulgakov

Memoirs of Dutiful Daughter – Simone de Beauvoir

Memoirs of General WT Sherman – William Tecumseh Sherman

Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris

The Meaning of Consuelo – Judith Ortiz Cofer

Mencken’s Chrestomathy – HR Mencken

The Merry Wives of Windsor – Shakespeare

The Metamorphosis – Franz Kafka

Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides

The Miracle Worker – William Gibson

Moby Dick – Herman Melville

The Mojo Collection – Jim Irvin

Moliere – Hobart Chatfield Taylor

A Monetary History of the US – Milton Friedman

Monsieur Proust – Celeste Albaret

A Month of Sundays – Julie Mars

A Moveable Feast – Ernest Hemingway

Mrs. Dalloway – Virginia Woolf

Mutiny on the Bounty – Charles Nordhoff & James Norman Hall

My Lai 4 – Seymour M Hersh

My Life as Author and Editor – HR Mencken

My Life in Orange – Tim Guest

My Sister’s Keeper – Jodi Picoult

The Naked and the Dead – Norman Mailer

The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco

The Namesake – Jhumpa Lahiri

The Nanny Diaries – Emma McLaughlin

Nervous System – Jan Lars Jensen

New Poems of Emily Dickinson

The New Way Things Work – David Macaulay

Nickel and Dimed – Barbara Ehrenreich

Night – Elie Wiesel

Northanger Abbey – Jane Austen

The Norton Anthology of Theory & Criticism – William E Cain

Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell

Notes of a Dirty Old Man – Charles Bukowski

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

Old School – Tobias Wolff

Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens

On the Road – Jack Keruac

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch – Alexander Solzhenitsyn

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey

One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life – Amy Tan

Oracle Night – Paul Auster

Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood

Othello – Shakespeare

Our Mutual Friend – Charles Dickens

The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War – Donald Kagan

Out of Africa – Isac Dineson

The Outsiders – S. E. Hinton

A Passage to India – E.M. Forster

The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition – Donald Kagan

The Perks of Being a Wallflower – Stephen Chbosky

Peyton Place – Grace Metalious

The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde

Pigs at the Trough – Arianna Huffington

Pinocchio – Carlo Collodi

Please Kill Me – Legs McNeil & Gilliam McCain

The Polysyllabic Spree – Nick Hornby

The Portable Dorothy Parker

The Portable Nietzche

The Price of Loyalty – Ron Suskind

Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

Property – Valerie Martin

Pushkin – TJ Binyon

Pygmalion – George Bernard Shaw

Quattrocento – James McKean

A Quiet Storm – Rachel Howzell Hall

Rapunzel – Grimm Brothers

The Razor’s Edge – W Somerset Maugham

Reading Lolita in Tehran – Azar Nafisi

Rebecca – Daphne de Maurier

Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm – Kate Douglas Wiggin

The Red Tent – Anita Diamant

Rescuing Patty Hearst – Virginia Holman

The Return of the King – JRR Tolkien

R is for Ricochet – Sue Grafton

Rita Hayworth – Stephen King

Robert’s Rules of Order – Henry Robert

Roman Fever – Edith Wharton

Romeo and Juliet – Shakespeare

A Room of One’s Own – Virginia Woolf

A Room with a View – EM Forster

Rosemary’s Baby – Ira Levin

The Rough Guide to Europe

Sacred Time – Ursula Hegi

Sanctuary – William Faulkner

Savage Beauty – Nancy Milford

Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller – Henry James

The Scarecrow of Oz – Frank L. Baum

The Scarlet Letter – Nathanial Hawthorne

Seabiscuit – Laura Hillenbrand

The Second Sex – Simone de Beauvior

The Secret Life of Bees – Sue Monk Kidd

Secrets of the Flesh – Judith Thurman

Selected Letters of Dawn Powell (1913-1965)

Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen

A Separate Place – John Knowles

Several Biographies of Winston Churchill

Sexus – Henry Miller

The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafron

Shane – Jack Shaefer

The Shining – Stephen King

Siddartha – Hermann Hesse

S is for Silence – Sue Grafton

Slaughter-House 5 – Kurt Vonnegut

Small Island – Andrea Levy

Snows of Kilamanjaro – Ernest Hemingway

Snow White and Red Rose – Grimm Brothers

Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy – Barrington Moore

The Song of Names – Norman Lebrecht

Song of the Simple Truth – Julia de Burgos

The Song Reader – Lisa Tucker

Songbook – Nick Hornby

The Sonnets – Shakespeare

Sonnets from the Portuegese – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sophie’s Choice – William Styron

The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner

Speak, Memory – Vladimir Nabakov

Stiff, The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers – Mary Roach

The Story of my Life – Helen Keller

A Streetcar Named Desire – Tennessee Williams

Stuart Little – EB White

Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway

Swann’s Way – Marcel Proust

Swimming with Giants – Anne Collett

Sybil – Flora Rheta Schreiber

A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

Tender is the Night – F Scott Fitzgerald

Term of Endearment – Larry McMurty

Time and Again – Jack Finney

The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffeneggar

To Have and to Have Not – Ernest Hemingway

To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

The Tragedy of Richard III – Shakespeare

Travel and Motoring through Europe – Myra Waldo

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith

The Trial – Franz Kafka

The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters – Elisabeth Robinson

Truth & Beauty – Ann Patchett

Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom

Ulysses – James Joyce

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (1950-1962)

Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Unless – Carol Shields

Valley of the Dolls – Jacqueline Susann

The Vanishing Newspaper – Philip Meyers

Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray

Velvet Underground – Joe Harvard

The Virgin Suicides – Jeffrey Eugenides

Waiting for Godot – Samuel Beckett

Walden – Henry David Thoreau

Walt Disney’s Bambi – Felix Salten

War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy

We Owe You Nothing – Daniel Sinker

What Colour is Your Parachute – Richard Nelson Bolles

What Happened to Baby Jane – Henry Farrell

When the Emperor Was Divine – Julie Otsuka

Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Edward Albee

Wicked – Gregory Maguire

The Wizard of Oz – Frank L Baum

Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

The Yearling – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion

OTHER RESOURCES:

19th Century Novels Masterpost

20th Century Novels Masterpost

21st Century Novels Masterpost

Rory Gilmore’s Reading List

Series Masterpost

6K notes · View notes

loudlydopevoid-blog · 7 years

Text

Cien años de soledad, Gabriel García Márquez. 469 puntos

El señor de los anillos (Trilogía), de J. R. R. Tolkien. 389 puntos

1984, de George Orwell. 382 puntos

Un mundo feliz, de Aldous Huxley. 374 puntos

Orgullo y prejuicio, de Jane Austen. 341 puntos

Crimen y castigo, de Fiódor Dostoyevski. 324 puntos

Lolita, de Vladimir Nabokov. 318 puntos

Ulises, de James Joyce. 311 puntos

Madame Bovary, de Gustave Flaubert. 310 puntos

En busca del tiempo perdido, de Marcel Proust. 304 puntos

Don Quijote de la Mancha, de Miguel de Cervantes. 279 puntos

El retrato de Dorian Gray, de Oscar Wilde. 277 puntos

Ana Karenina, de León Tolstói. 261 puntos

El Principito, de Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. 253 puntos

El proceso, de Franz Kafka. 247 puntos

El ruido y la furia, de William Faulkner. 246 puntos

Hamlet, de William Shakespeare. 246 puntos

Lo que el viento se llevó, de Margaret Mitchell. 238 puntos

La Odisea, de Homero. 232 puntos

Las uvas de la Ira, de John Steinbeck. 232 puntos

El guardián entre el centeno, de J. D. Salinger. 228 puntos

Cumbres borrascosas, de Emily Brontë. 219 puntos

El gran Gatsby, de F. Scott Fitzgerald. 213 puntos

Mil soles esplendidos, de Khaled Hosseini. 211 puntos

Alicia en el País de las Maravillas, de Lewis Carroll. 211 puntos

Rebelión en la granja, de George Orwell. 209 puntos

Los pilares de la tierra de, Ken Follett. 206 puntos

Guerra y paz, de León Tolstói. 197 puntos

Memorias de una geisha, de Arthur Golden. 195 puntos

Frankenstein o El moderno Prometeo, de Mary W. Shelley. 191 puntos

Los viajes de Gulliver, de Jonathan Swift. 186 puntos

La ladrona de libros, de Markus Zusak. 183 puntos

Matar a un ruiseñor, de Harper Lee. 183 puntos

El conde de Montecristo, de Alejandro Dumas. 183 puntos

Los juegos del hambre, de Suzanne Collins. 181 puntos

Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal (Harry Potter 1 ) de J. K. Rowling. 179 puntos

El señor de las moscas, de William Golding. 177 puntos

Moby Dick, Herman Melville. 174 puntos

Los miserables, de Victor Hugo. 172 puntos

Las aventuras de Huckleberry Finn, de Mark Twain. 170 puntos

Tristam Shandy, de Laurence Sterne. 168 puntos

Drácula, de Bram Stoker. 166 puntos

El nombre de la rosa, de Umberto Eco. 166 puntos

El extranjero, Albert Camus. 165 puntos

Los hermanos Karamázov, de Fiódor Dostoyevski. 164 puntos

El amor en los tiempos del cólera, de Gabriel García Márquez. 163 puntos

Harry Potter y las Reliquias de la Muerte (Harry Potter 7 ) de J. K. Rowling. 163 puntos

El código Da Vinci, de Dan Brown. 162 puntos

Harry Potter y el prisionero de Azkaban (Harry Potter 3 ) de J. K. Rowling. 162 puntos

Cometas en el cielo de Khaled Hosseini. 161 puntos

Ensayo sobre la ceguera, de José Saramago. 159 puntos

Las crónicas de Narnia, de C. S. Lewis. 152 puntos

Los renglones torcidos de Dios, de Torcuato Luca de Tena 152 puntos

En llamas, de Suzanne Collins. 151 puntos

Harry Potter y el cáliz de fuego (Harry Potter 4 ), de J. K. Rowling. 151 puntos

La sombra del viento, de Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 151 puntos

Viaje al fin de la noche, de Louis Ferdinand Céline. 151 puntos

Harry Potter y el misterio del príncipe ( Harry Potter 6 ) de J. K. Rowling. 150 puntos

El juego de Ender, de Orson Scott Card. 149 puntos

La Biblia. 147 puntos

La montaña mágica, de Thomas Mann. 147 puntos

Harry Potter y la Orden del Fénix ( Harry Potter 5 ) de J. K. Rowling. 144 puntos

El psicoanalista, de John Katzenbach. 141 puntos

Trampa 22, de Joseph Heller. 141 puntos

Por quién doblan las campanas, de Hernest Hemingway. 135 puntos

Dr. Jekyll y mr. Hyde, de Robert Louis Stevenson. 135 puntos

El médico, de Noah Gordon. 134 puntos

La metamorfosis, de Franz Kafka. 134 puntos

La telaraña de Carlota, de E.B. White. 134 puntos

La divina comedia, de Dante Alighieri. 132 puntos

La señora Dalloway, de Virginia Woolf. 132 puntos

Crepúsculo, de Stephenie Meye.r 129 puntos

En el camino, de Jack Kerouac. 129 puntos

La Iliada, de Homero. 127 puntos

Jane Eyre, de Charlotte Brontë. 126 puntos

Diario, de Ana Frank. 125 puntos

El retorno del rey, de J.R.R. Tolkien. 125 puntos

El perfume, de Patrick Süskind. 124 puntos

Fahrenheit 451, de Ray Bradbury. 124 puntos

Crónica de una muerte anunciada, de Gabriel García Márquez. 122 puntos

La casa de los espíritus, de Isabel Allende. 121 puntos

Mientras agonizo, de William Faulkner. 121 puntos

La isla del tesoro, de Robert Louis Stevenson. 119 puntos

Todo se desmorona, de Chinua Achebe. 117 puntos

Emma, de Jane Austen. 117 puntos

Pasaje a la India, de E. M. Forster. 117 puntos

Ficciones, de Jorge Luis Borges. 113 puntos

Harry Potter y la cámara secreta (Harry Potter 2 ) de J. K. Rowling. 113 puntos

A sangre fría, de Truman Capote. 111 puntos

Rimas y leyendas, de Gustavo Adolfo Bequer. 109 puntos

El corazón es un cazador solitario, de Carson Mccullers. 104 puntos

El Rey Lear, de William Shakespeare. 104 puntos

Tormenta de espadas, de George R.R. Martin. 100 puntos

Juego de tronos, de George R.R.Martin. 99 puntos

La catedral del mar, de Ildefonso Falcones. 99 puntos

Progreso del peregrino de John Bunyan. 99 puntos

El corazón de las tinieblas, de Joseph Conrad. 98 puntos

Robinson Crusoe, de Daniel Defoe. 98 puntos

La isla de los amores infinitos, de Daína Chaviano. 97 puntos

David Copperfield, de Charles Dickens. 97 puntos

La condición humana, de André Malraux. 96 puntos

Un mundo sin fin, de Ken Follett. 96 puntos

Tom Jones, de Henry Fielding. 96 puntos

El clan del oso cavernario. Los hijos de la tierra I, de Jean M. Auel. 95 puntos

El hombre invisible, de Ralph Ellison. 95 puntos

Clarissa, de Samuel Richardson. 95 puntos

Al faro, de Virginia Woolf. 94 puntos

Choque de reyes, de George R. R. Martin. 93 puntos

Cuentos, de Antón Chéjov. 93 puntos

El último catón, de Matilde Asensi. 93 puntos

Las amistades peligrosas Pierre Choderlos De Laclos. 93 puntos

El gran Meaulnes, de Alain-Fournier. 92 puntos

Sinuhé el egipcio, de Mika Waltari. 92 puntos

El segundo sexo, de Simone de Beauvoir. 91 puntos

La espuma de los días, de Boris Vian. 91 puntos

Once minutos, de Paulo Coelho. 91 puntos

Cuentos de Canterbury, de Geoffrey Chaucer. 90 puntos

Poeta en Nueva York, de Federico García Lorca. 90 puntos

Abadía pesadilla, Thomas Love Peacock. 90 puntos

El Hobbit, de J.R.R. Tolkien. 89 puntos

Esperando a Godot, de Samuel Beckett. 89 puntos

La oveja negra, de Honore De Balzac. 89 puntos

Cuentos, de Edgar Allan Poe. 88 puntos

El ser y la nada, de Jean-Paul Sartre. 88 puntos

Middlemarch, de George Eliot. 88 puntos

La cartuja de Parma, de Stendhal. 88 puntos

Ángeles y demonios, de Dan Brown. 87 puntos

El árbol dador, de Shel Silverstein. 87 puntos

La comunidad del anillo (El señor de los anillos I), de J. R. R. Tolkien. 87 puntos

Archipiélago Gulag , de Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. 86 puntos

El niño con el pijama de rayas, de John Boyne. 86 puntos

Las dos torres (El señor de los anillos II), de J. R. R. Tolkien. 86 puntos

Sybil, de Benjamin Disraeli. 86 puntos

Amanecer, de Stephenie Meyer. 85 puntos

El lobo estepario, de Hermann Hesse. 85 puntos

Paroles, de Jacques Prévert. 85 puntos

Pedro Páramo, de Juan Rulfo. 85 puntos

El sueño eterno, de Raymond Chandler. 85 puntos

Alcoholes, de Guillaume Apollinaire. 84 puntos

El nombre del viento, de Patrick Rothfuss. 84 puntos

La guía del autoestopista galáctico, de Douglas Adams. 84 puntos

El Loto Azul, de Hergé. 83 puntos

Bajo el volcán, de Malcolm Lowry. 82 puntos

Eclipse, de Stephenie Meyer. 82 puntos

Verónika decide morir, de Paulo Coelho. 82 puntos

Vanity Fair, de William Makepeace Thackeray. 82 puntos

Beloved, de Toni Morrison. 81 puntos

Las mil y una noches. 81 puntos

Tristes trópicos, de Claude Lévi-Strauss. 81 puntos

La letra escarlata, de Nathaniel Hawthorne. 81 puntos

Hijos de la medianoche, de Salman Rushdie. 80 puntos

Inés del alma mía, de Isabel Allende. 80 puntos

La muerte de Virgilio, de Hermann Broch. 79 puntos

Travesuras de la niña mala, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 79 puntos

Astérix el Galo, de René Goscinny y Albert Uderzo. 78 puntos

Ensayos, de Michel de Montaigne. 78 puntos

Luna Nueva , de Stephenie Meyer. 78 puntos

La dama de blanco, de Wilkie Collins. 78 puntos

Azteca, de Gary Jennings. 77 puntos

La cantante calva, de Eugène Ionesco. 77 puntos

Matadero 5, de Kurt Vonnegut. 77 puntos

El alquimista, de Paulo Coelho. 76 puntos

Hijo nativo, de Richard Wright. 76 puntos

Rojo y negro, Stendhal. 76 puntos

Romeo y Julieta, de William Shakespeare. 76 puntos

Tres ensayos sobre teoría sexual, de Sigmund Freud. 76 puntos

Mujercitas, de Louisa M. Alcott. 76 puntos

De la democracia en América, de Alexis de Tocqueville. 75 puntos

El aleph, Jorge Luis Borges. 75 puntos

Historias de hadas para adultos, de Daína Chaviano. 75 puntos

La mujer del viajero en el tiempo, de Audrey Niffenegger. 75 puntos

Los santos inocentes, de Miguel Delibes. 75 puntos

Opus Nigrum, de Marguerite Yourcenar. 75 puntos

Sinsajo, de Suzanne Collins. 75 puntos

El mundo en que vivimos, Anthony Trollope. 75 puntos

El origen de las especies, de Charles Darwin. 74 puntos

Historia, de Heródoto. 73 puntos

Daniel Deronda, de George Eliot. 73 puntos

El contrato social, de Jean-Jacques Rousseau. 72 puntos

El desierto de los tártaros, de Dino Buzzati. 72 puntos

El capital, de Karl Marx. 71 puntos

Las flores del mal, de Charles Baudelaire. 71 puntos

Los monederos falsos, de André Gide. 71 puntos

El retrato de una dama, de Henry James. 71 puntos

Ana de las tejas verdes, de L. M. Montgomery. 70 puntos

El banquete, de Platón. 70 puntos

El húsar en el tejado, de Jean Giono. 70 puntos

El príncipe, de Maquiavelo. 70 puntos

Bella del Señor, de Albert Cohen. 69 puntos

Las confesiones, de San Agustín. 69 puntos

Mi planta de naranja-lima, de José Mauro de Vasconcelos. 69 puntos

Veinte poemas de amor y una canción, de Pablo Neruda. 69 puntos

La educación sentimental, de Gustave Flaubert. 68 puntos

Leviatan, de Thomas Hobbes. 68 puntos

Rayuela, de Julio Cortázar. 68 puntos

Tres hombres en una barca, de Jerome K. Jerome. 68 puntos

Como agua para chocolate, de Laura Esquivel. 67 puntos

Elegías de Duino, de Rainer Maria Rilker. 67 puntos

Festín de cuervos, de George R.R. Martin 67 puntos

Historia de la guerra del Peloponeso, de Tucídides. 67 puntos

En tiempo de prodigios, de Marta Rivera de la Cruz. 66 puntos

Therese Desqueyroux , de François Mauriac. 66 puntos

La canción de Solomon, de Toni Morrison. 66 puntos

El viento en los sauces, de Kenneth Grahame. 66 puntos

Diario de un don nadie, de George Grossmith. 66 puntos

El oficio de vivir, de Cesare Pavese. 65 puntos

La historia interminable, de Michael Ende. 65 puntos

Winnie-the-Pooh, de A. A. Milne. 65 puntos

Zazie en el metro, de Raymond Queneau. 65 puntos

Jude el oscuro, de Thomas Hardy. 65 puntos

El libro del desasosiego, de Fernando Pessoa. 64 puntos

La confusión de los sentimientos, de Stefan Zweig. 64 puntos

Una arruga en el tiempo, de Madeleine L' Engle. 64 puntos

El enigma de las arenas, de Erskine Childers. 64 puntos

Arráncame la vida, de Ángeles Mastretta. 63 puntos

Obra completa, de Jorge Luis Borges. 63 puntos

La llamada de la selva, de Jack London. 63 puntos

Así habló Zaratustra, de Friederich Nietzsche. 62 puntos

El amante de Lady Chatterley , de D. H. Lawerence 62 puntos

El corazón helado, de Almudena Grandes. 62 puntos

Lord Jim, de Joseph Conrad. 62 puntos

Nostromo, de Joseph Conrad. 62 puntos

De ratones y hombres de, John Steinbeck. 61 puntos

El hombre, la hembra y el hambre, de Daína Chaviano. 61 puntos

La naranja mecánica, de Anthony Burgess. 61 puntos

Buenos días, tristeza, de Françoise Sagan. 60 puntos

Diez negritos, de Agatha Christie. 60 puntos

Siddharta, de Hermann Hesse. 60 puntos

El silencio del mar, de Vercors,Jean Bruller. 59 puntos

Fortuna y Jacinta, de Benito Pérez Galdós. 59 puntos

La princesa prometida, de William Goldman. 59 puntos

Noche, de Elie Wiesel. 59 puntos

El arcoíris, de D. H. Lawrence. 59 puntos

El plan infinito, de Isabel Allende. 58 puntos

Historias extraordinarias, de Edgar Allan Poe. 58 puntos

La vida: instrucciones de uso , de Georges Perec. 58 puntos

Luz de agosto, de William Faulkner. 58 puntos

Marina de Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 58 puntos

El buen soldado Ford, Madox Ford. 58 puntos

A orillas del río Piedra me senté y lloré, de Paulo Coelho. 57 puntos

La ciudad y los perros, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 57 puntos

Las almas de la gente negra, de W. E. B. Du Bois. 57 puntos

Treinta y nueve escalones, de John Buchan. 57 puntos

Alguien voló sobre el nido del cuco, de Ken Kesey. 56 puntos

Bajo el sol de Satanás, de Georges Bernanos. 56 puntos

Donde viven los monstruos, de Maurice Sendak. 56 puntos

El ancho mar de los Sargazos, de Jean Rhys. 56 puntos

El caballero de la armadura oxidada, de Robert Fisher. 56 puntos

La tierra baldía, de T.S. Elilot. 56 puntos

Metamorfosis, de Ovidio 55 puntos

La broma, de Milan Kundera. 54 puntos

Paraíso perdido, de John Milton. 54 puntos

Poemas, de Emily Dickinson. 54 puntos

El club Dante, de Matthew Pearl. 53 puntos

El desprecio, de Alberto Moravia. 53 puntos

Desde mi cielo, de Alice Sebold. 52 puntos

El asesinato de Roger Ackroyd, de Agatha Christie. 52 puntos

El camino, de Miguel Delibes. 52 puntos

La bruja de Portobello, de Paulo Coelho. 52 puntos

La suma de los días, de Isabel Allende. 51 puntos

Nadja, de André Breton. 51 puntos

Trilce, de César Vallejo. 51 puntos

Men Without Women Ernest Hemingway. 51 puntos

Agua para elefantes, de Sara Gruen. 50 puntos

Aurélien, de Louis Aragon. 50 puntos

Otello, de William Shakespeare. 50 puntos

El puente de Alcántara, de Frank Baer. 49 puntos

El zapato de raso, de Paul Claudel. 49 puntos

Huevos verdes con jamón, de Dr. Seuss. 49 puntoss

Sonetos, de William Shakespeare. 49 puntos

¡Absalón, absalón! De William Faulkner. 49 puntos

El jardín secreto, de Frances Hodgson Burnett. 48 puntos

Hojas de hierba, de Walt Whitman. 48 puntos

La sonrisa etrusca, de José Luis Sampedro. 48 puntos

Odas, de Horacio. 48 puntos

Seis personajes en busca de autor,de Luigi Pirandello. 48 puntos

El largo adiós, de Raymond Chandler. 47 puntos

El resistible ascenso de Arturo Ui, de Bertolt Brecht. 47 puntos

La ayuda, de Kathryn Stockett. 47 puntos

Scoop Evelyn Waugh. 47 puntos

El cuento número trece, de Diane Setterfield. 46 puntos

El idiota, de Fiódor Dostoievski. 46 puntos

Kim, de Rudyard Kipling. 46 puntos

Lazarillo de Tormes. 46 puntos

Viernes o la vida salvaje, de Michel Tournier. 46 puntos

EE.UU. de John Dos Passos. 46 puntos

El astillero, de Juan Carlos Onetti. 45 puntos

El Juego del Ángel, de Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 45 puntos

Historia de dos ciudades, de Charles Dickens. 45 puntos

La guerra de los mundos, de H. G. Wells. 45 puntos

El primer hombre, de Albert Camus. 44 puntos

La huésped, de Stephenie Meyer. 44 puntos

Si esto es un hombre, de Primo Levi. 44 puntos

La búsqueda del amor, de Nancy Mitford. 44 puntos

El hacedor, de Jorge Luis Borges. 43 puntos

La quinta montaña, de Paulo Coelho. 43 puntos

La peste, de Albert Camus. 43 puntos

Asesinato en el Oriente Express, de Agatha Christie. 42 puntos

Los zarcillos de la viña, de Colette. 42 puntos

Sentido y sensibilidad, de Jane Austen. 42 puntos

Y de repente, un ángel, de Jaime Bayly. 42 puntos

Capital del dolor, de Paul Éluard. 41 puntos

El origen perdido, de Matilde Asensi. 41 puntos

Los hombres que no amaban a las mujeres, de Stieg Larsson. 41 puntos

Malone muere, de Samuel Beckett. 41 puntos

La conjura de los necios, de John Kennedy Toole. 40 puntos

La regenta, Leopoldo Alas Clarín. 40 puntos

Martin Eden, de Jack London. 40 puntos

Memorias de Idhún I. La Resistencia, de Laura Gallego García. 40 puntos

Vida de Pi , de Yann Martel. 40 puntos

La balada del mar salado, de Hugo Pratt. 39 puntos

La casa de Bernarda Alba, de Federico García Lorca. 39 puntos

Las luces de septiembre, de Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 39 puntos

Las olas, de Virginia Woolf. 39 puntos

Sangre sabia, de Flannery O'Connor. 39 puntos

El grado cero de la escritura, de Roland Barthes. 38 puntos

La mujer justa, de Sándor Márai. 38 puntos

Al este del Edén, de John Steinbeck. 37 puntos

Diarios, de Franz Kafka. 37 puntos

El cuaderno dorado, de Doris Lessing. 37 puntos

El honor perdido de Katharina Blum, de Heinrich Boll. 37 puntos

El mar de las Sirtes, de Julien Gracq. 36 puntos

La celestina, de Fernando de Rojas. 36 puntos

Retrato en sepia, de Isabel Allende. 36 puntos

Lucky Jim, de Kingsley Amis. 36 puntos

El evangelio según Jesucristo, de José Saramago. 35 puntos

El tiempo entre costuras, de María Dueñas. 35 puntos

Las palabras y las cosas, de Michel Foucault. 35 puntos

Lo mejor que le puede pasar a un cruasán, de Pablo Tusset. 35 puntos

Ricardo III, de William Shakespeare. 35 puntos

Residencia en la tierra, de Pablo Neruda. 34 puntos

El americano impasible, de Graham Greene. 34 puntos

Demian, de Herman Hesse. 33 puntos

El maravilloso viaje de Nils Holgersson, Selma Lagerlöf. 33 puntos

Fiesta, de Ernest Hemingway. 33 puntos

Paula, de Isabel Allende. 33 puntos

La ciudad de las bestias, de Isabel Allende. 32 puntos

Una habitación propia, de Virginia Woolf. 32 puntos

Yo, Claudio, de Robert Graves. 32 puntos

Ciudad de Hueso, de Cassandra Clare. 31 puntos

Conversación en la catedral, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 31 puntos

Crónicas marcianas, de Ray Bradbury. 31 puntos

Marianela, de Benito Pérez Galdós. 31 puntos

Tokio blues, de Haruki Murakami. 31 puntos

El tambor de hojalata, de Günter Grass. 31 puntos

El arrebato de Lol V. Stein, de Marguerite Duras. 30 puntos

El príncipe de la niebla, de Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 30 puntos

Hijos y amantes, de D. H. Lawrence. 30 puntos

El atestado, de J. M. G. Le Clézio. 29 puntos

El gatopardo, de Giussepe Tomasi de Lampedusa. 29 puntos

El Reino del Dragón de Oro, de Isabel Allende. 29 puntos

Rebeldes, de S.E. Hinton. 29 puntos

Todos los hombres del Rey, de Robert Penn Warren. 29 puntos

Los mejores años de Miss Brodie, de Muriel Spark. 29 puntos

Dune, de Frank Herbert. 28 puntos

Pantaleón y las visitadoras, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 28 puntos

Tropismos, de Nathalie Sarraute. 28 puntos

Ve y dilo en la montaña, de James Baldwin. 28 puntos

Diario, 1887-1910 , de Jules Renard. 27 puntos

La colina de Watership, de Richard Adams. 27 puntos

¿Hay alguien ahí fuera? de Marian Keyes. 27 puntos

La chica que soñaba con una cerilla y un bidón de gasolina, de Stieg Larsson. 26 puntos

La danza de la muerte, de Stephen King. 26 puntos

Tus zonas erróneas, de Wayne Dyer. 26 puntos

Herzog, de Saul Bellow. 26 puntos

Canto general, de Pablo Neruda. 25 puntos

El rabino, de Noah Gordon. 25 puntos

El viejo y el mar, de Ernest Hemingway. 25 puntos

Escritos, de Jacques Lacan. 25 puntos

Conejo, corre, de J. Updike. 24 puntos

El teatro y su doble, de Antonin Artaud. 24 puntos

La insoportable levedad del ser, de Milan Kundera. 24 puntos

Las ventajas de ser un marginado, de Stephen Chbosky. 24 puntos

Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, de Elizabeth Taylor. 24 puntos

De amor y de sombra, de Isabel Allende. 23 puntos

La decisión de Anne, de Jodi Picoult. 23 puntos

La edad de la inocencia, de Edith Wharton. 23 puntos

Luces de Bohemia, de Ramón María del Valle-Inclán. 23 puntos

Manhattan Transfer, de John Dos Passos. 23 puntos

El topo, de John Le Carre. 23 puntos

El mal de Portnoy, de P. Roth. 22 puntos

El peregrino de Compostela, de Paulo Coelho. 22 puntos

La guerra del fin del mundo, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 22 puntos

Un árbol crece en Brooklyn ,de Betty Smith. 22 puntos

La reina en el palacio de las corrientes de aire, de Stieg Larsson. 21 puntos

Moravagine, de Blaise Cendrars. 21 puntos

Mujeres de ojos grandes, de Ángeles Mastretta. 21 puntos

Una tragedia americana, de Theodore Dreiser. 21 puntos

La fábrica de botellas, Outing Beryl Bainbridge. 21 puntos

Aforismos, de G.C. Lichtenberg. 20 puntos

El día de la langosta, de Nathanael West. 20 puntos

El último judío, de Noah Gordon. 20 puntos

Grandes esperanzas, de Charles Dickens. 20 puntos

Max Aub, de Javier Quiñones. 20 puntos

La canción del verdugo, de Norman Mailer. 20 puntos

El general del ejército muerto, de Ismail Kadare. 19 puntos

La decisión de Sophie , de William Styron. 19 puntos

La doctora Cole, de Noah Gordon. 19 puntos

Manifiesto comunista, de Karl Marx. 19 puntos

Trópico de cáncer, de Henry Miller. 19 puntos

Si una noche de invierno un viajero, de Italo Calvino. 19 puntos

El curioso incidente del perro a medianoche, de Matt Hadom. 18 puntos

El halcón maltés, de Dashiell Hammett. 18 puntos

Las cenizas de Ángela, de Frank McCourt. 18 puntos

Mortal y rosa, de Francisco Umbral. 18 puntos

Romancero gitano, de Federico García Lorca. 18 puntos

Usted puede sanar su vida, de Louise Hay. 18 puntos

Una curva en el río, de V. S. Naipaul. 18 puntos

Dublineses, de James Joyce. 17 puntos

El misterio de la cripta embrujada, de Eduardo Mendoza. 17 puntos

La materia oscura, de Philip Pullman. 17 puntos

Las aventuras de Sherlock Holmes, de Arthur Conan Doyle. 17 puntos

Pietr el letón, de Georges Simenon. 17 puntos

Viaje al centro de la Tierra, de Julio Verne. 17 puntos

Esperando a los bárbaros , de J. M. Coetzee. 17 puntos

Al borde del peligro, de Shel Silverstein. 16 puntos

La muerte del Arzobispo, de Willa Cather. 16 puntos

Las piadosas, de Federico Andahazi. 16 puntos

Santa María de las Flores, de Jean Genet. 16 puntos

Servicio de limpieza, de Marilynne Robinson. 16 puntos

El cuento de La Sierva, de Margaret Atwood. 15 puntos

Jacobus, de Matilde Asensi. 15 puntos

La interpretación de los sueños, de S. Freud. 15 puntos

Peter Pan, de James Matthew Barrie. 15 puntos

Lanark, de Alasdair Gray. 15 puntos

Doce cuentos peregrinos, de Gabriel García Márquez. 14 puntos

El hombre sin atributos, de Robert Musil. 14 puntos

Furor y misterio, de René Char. 14 puntos

La carretera, de Cormac McCarthy. 14 puntos

La educación de Henry Adams, de Henry Adams. 14 puntos

Momo, de Michael Ende. 14 puntos

Sonetos, de Quevedo. 14 puntos

La trilogía de Nueva York, de Paul Auster. 14 puntos

El anatomista, de Federico Andahazi. 13 puntos

La tia Julia y el escribidor, de Mario Vargas Llosa. 13 puntos

Pensamiento de Mao Zedong, de Mao Zedong. 13 puntos

El gran gigante bonachon, de Roald Dah.l 13 puntos

El maestro y margarita, de Mijaíl Bulgakov. 12 puntos

La Biblia Envenenada, de por Barbara Kingsolver. 12 puntos

La vuelta al mundo en 80 días, de Julio Verne. 12 puntos

Mal de amores, de Ángeles Mastretta. 12 puntos

No hay orquídeas para Miss Blandish, de James Hadley Chase. 12 puntos

Psicología de la religión, de William James. 12 puntos

El sistema periódico, de Primo Levi. 12 puntos

Blake y Mortimer, de Edgar P. Jacobs. 11 puntos

El cuarteto de Alejandría, de Lawrence Durrell. 11 puntos

El perro de los Baskerville, de Arthur Conan Doyle. 11 puntos

La campana de cristal, de Sylvia Plath. 11 puntos

Retorno a Brideshead, de Evelyn Waugh. 11 puntos

Dinero, de Martin Amis. 11 puntos

La caída, de Albert Camus. 10 puntos

La familia de pascual duarte, de Camilo José Cela. 10 puntos

La sombra del águila, de Arturo Pérez-Reverte. 10 puntos

Los cuadernos de Malte Laurids Brigge, de Rainer Maria Rilke. 10 puntos

Primavera silenciosa, de Rachel Carson. 10 puntos

Un artista del mundo flotante, de Kazuo Ishiguro. 10 puntos

El color púrpura, de Alice Walter. 9 puntos

La modificación, de Michel Butor. 9 puntos

Orlando, de Virginia Woolf. 9 puntos

Rebecca, de Daphne du Maurier. 9 puntos

Teoría general de la ocupación, de John Maynard Keynes. 9 puntos

Oscar y Lucinda, de Peter Carey. 9 puntos

Divergente, de Veronica Roth. 8 puntos

La colmena, de Camilo José Cela. 8 puntos

Los inconsolables, de Kazuo Ishiguro. 8 puntos

Los orígenes del totalitarismo, de Hannah Arendt. 8 puntos

El libro de la risa y el olvido, de Milan Kundera. 8 puntos

Adiós a todo eso, de Robert Graves. 7 puntos

Espacio, de Juan Ramón Jiménez. 7 puntos

Las cuatro estaciones, de Stephen King. 7 puntos

Sin noticias de Gurb, de Eduardo Mendoza. 7 puntos

Haroun y el mar de las historias, de Salman Rushdie. 7 puntos

La crucifixión rosa, de Henry Miller. 6 puntos

La sociedad opulenta, de John Kenneth Galbraith. 6 puntos

Quizá nos lleve el viento al infinito, de Gonzalo Torrente Ballester. 6 puntos

L.A. Confidential, de James Ellroy. 6 puntos

El jardín de los Finzi Contini, de Giorgio Bassani. 5 puntos

El séptimo secreto, de Irving Wallace. 5 puntos

Niños sabios, de Angela Carter. 5 puntos

Amers , de Saint-John Perse. 4 puntos

Bajo la misma estrella, de John Green. 4 puntos

Chamán, de Noah Gordon. 4 puntos

El inquisidor, de Patricio Sturlese. 4 puntos

La autobiografía de Malcom X, de Alex Haley y Malcolm X. 4 puntos

Palmeras salvajes, de William Faulkner. 4 puntos

Expiación, de Ian McEwan. 4 puntos

Harri eta herri , de Gabriel Aresti. 3 puntos

La historia del loco, de John Katzenbach. 3 puntos

Los victorianos eminentes, de Lytton Strachey. 3 puntos

Tomás el gafe, de André Franquin. 3 puntos

Luces del Norte, de Philip Pullman. 3 puntos

Abril en París, de Michael Wallner. 2 puntos

El mundo de Sofía, de Jostein Garden. 2 puntos

Obras completas, de Pío Baroja. 2 puntos

Pastoral americana, de Philip Roth. 2 puntos

La rebelión de Atlas, de Ayn Rand. 1 punto

La segunda Guerra Mundial, de Winston Churchill. 1 punto

Austerlitz, de W. G. Sebald. 1 punto

21 notes · View notes

funface2 · 5 years

Text

50 of Liam Gallagher's funniest quotes and insults as Oasis frontman returns with new album Why Me? Why Not – iNews

DistractionsJokes

“If I wasn’t a musician I don’t know. I’d be God, maybe? That would be a good job.”

Monday, 23rd September 2019, 13:49 pm

Updated Monday, 23rd September 2019, 15:05 pm

Much like the bitter rivals of his beloved Manchester City, Liam Gallagher is hated and adored, but never ignored.

The former Oasis and Beady Eye frontman has never held back on publicly slating fellow musicians, footballers, politicians and, of course, his brother.

Here’s the world according to Liam Gallagher:

The i newsletter cut through the noise

*Warning: this list unsurprisingly contains liberal use of the f-word and adult humour*

On Glastonbury

(Getty Images)

“I f***ing hate Glastonbury, mate. I’m only here for the money.”

On Gary Neville

“If the world was full of fucking Gary Nevilles, it would be bobbins. He looks like an estate agent.”

On Mumford and Sons

”Everyone looks like they’ve got fucking nits and eat lentil soup with their sleeves rolled up!”

“I’m sure they’re all nice lads but that’s not for me. They look like f***ing Amish people. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit f***ing dangerous.”

On George Harrison and Keith Richards

“They’re jealous and senile and not getting enough fucking meat pies.”

On Chris Martin

“I don’t hate Chris Martin. I don’t know him, know what I mean? I just thinks he’s a bit giddy. He ought to calm down, he isn’t gonna save the world.”

“Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What’s all that with writing messages about Free Trade? If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students.”

On Muse

“Muse f***ing scare me. They’re like f***ing creepy s**t. But people like ’em. They at least play guitars, but when I hear his voice I’m like, Ah, f**k him.”

On Bloc Party

“I really despise this new fucking disease of indie f***ing s**t, f***ing student music, the likes of Bloc Party and all that f***ing nonsense. They don’t keep me awake at night, but it’s just s***e, and they can f***ing have it mate.”

On Wayne Rooney

“He looks like a f***ing balloon with a f***ing Weetabix crushed on top. He’s better off as a skinhead, isn’t he?”

On A$AP Rocky

“My kids also like that bloke, WhatsApp Ricky. You know, the American geezer, stylish, funny, gold teeth. [asked if he means A$AP Rocky] Oh yeah, that’s the fella. WhatsApp Ricky. That’s a better fucking name anyway.”

On the Beatles

“The Beatles play guitars, we play guitars. The Beatles got hair, we’ve got hair. The Beatles got arms, we’ve got arms.”

On his brother

(Getty Images)

“I’m insulted that people think Noel Gallagher has been f***ing carrying this band for the last 18 years. People were saying, ‘Oh it’s going to be f***ing s**t.’ It’s like, are you tripping or what?”

“I like Noel outside the band. Human Noel – that’s my brother – I f***ing adore him and I’d do anything for him. But the geezer that’s in this f***ing business, he’s one of the biggest c*cks in the universe.”

“People think I’m just a f***ing lunatic, but Noel can be a little b*tch, too.”

On David Cameron

“I don’t know what Brexit is, all I know is that David Cameron wants his b***ocks electrocuting for bringing it on in the first place.”

On Mani from the Stone Roses

“I’m moving back to Manchester if City win the league. I’m going to buy a house next to Mani out of Stone Roses and be a real noisy ******* neighbour – hurl abuse at him over the fence.”

On Bono

“You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny.”

On parkas

“Its not about the money, I don’t drive cars, I don’t buy Rolexes. But I’ve got enough parkas that I could whip out and still blow people’s minds.”

On alarm clocks

“I’m getting up earlier and earlier now man. I try and beat the alarm clock. The alarm goes off at six and I try to get up at 5.59 just to do its head in.”

On Americans

“Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don’t get it.”

On Blur

“Being a lad is what I’m about. I can tell you who isn’t a lad: anyone from Blur.”

On Inspiral Carpets

(Getty Images)

“I mean, the devil’s got all the good gear. What’s God got? The Inspiral Carpets and nuns. F*** that.”

On his milkman

“He’s f***ing top, he gave me a pint of lactose-free milk for nothing the other day.”

On the sea

“F**k the sea. I ain’t going in that. F**k that, mate. That ain’t meant for us. That’s meant for the sharks, and the jellyfish, tadpoles and stuff.”

“I can’t swim. I can have a bath and that. I’m all right in a hot tub. But put me out in the ocean and I’m gone.”

On cardigans

“I have got a bit of an issue with cardigans. They’re s**t aren’t they?”

On himself

“I’m an average lad who was born in Burnage who played conkers. Conkers, mate. Conkers. The lot. And now I’m in a band and nothing’s changed.”

“Being me is the best f***ing gig in the world.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever said anything that’s nasty.”

“If I wasn’t a musician I don’t know. I’d be God, maybe? That would be a good job.”

“I am a tender, beautiful and loving guy that happens to slap a photographer now and then because they get in my way.”

“I’m me in the supermarket, the same clothes, the same haircut, the same shades on, when I’m fucking gardening or picking the kids up from school, or dropping ’em off. I’m the same, there’s no double-life, I am what I am.”

(Getty Images)

On Radiohead

“I heard that f***ing Radiohead record and I just go, ‘What?!’ I like to think that what we do, we do f***ing well. Them writing a song about a f***ing tree? Give me a f***ing break! A thousand year old tree? Go f**k yourself!”

On climbing trees

“Climbed one the other day. I was running on the Heath and I thought, ‘that looks like a nice tree, I’m going to climb that fucking tree.’ Climbed it and sat there with my hood up for about 10 minutes.”

On Kanye West

“If I ever win any more f**king awards I’d personally invite him to get up and f**king take my award of me. I f**king tell you that… That was rude when he did that to that girl, that Taylor Swift. So yeah, give me an award and see where it goes. It will roll out of his f**king arse.”

On baldness

“If I lost my hair you would never see me on that stage again, because there’s no place for baldness in rock n roll.”

On the White Stripes

“The White Stripes? F**king rubbish. School ties? At the age of 24? F**king hell.”

On Green Day lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong

“F**k right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head.”

On Russell Brand

“Noel Gallagher, Russell Brand, f***ing hell. What a pair of old housewives.”

On David Attenborough

“He’s like god isn’t he? Got a bit of a god vibe, know what I mean?”

On Love Island

“I like it man, but I don’t truly understand the bit where they’ve got to kip on the floor, outside.”

On the English football team

“A bag of s***e. My grandmother would do better, on acid with a Toblerone stuck up her a**e”

On Jesus Christ

“It’s like would Jesus Christ have been a f***ing pervert if he had a crisp packet on his head?”

On whether he’d prefer to dress like, Mick Jagger, Craig David or Ed Sheeran

“I’d rather be naked. I’d rather set fire to myself, just torch myself.”

On Marilyn Manson

“I said to Marilyn Manson: ‘Your music’s s**t, but your f**king show was mental’.”

On Pete Doherty

(Getty images)

“Pete Doherty needs a slap, and the sooner he gets it, the better.”

On U2

“I have never seen a U2 fan. I have never seen anyone with a U2 shirt or been around someone’s house that has a f***ing U2 record. Where do their fans f***ing come from?”

On Christmas

“The usual. I’ll be sitting there all day, getting w***ered. Probably eating loads of f***ing food an’ all. What are the kids after this year? What do you think? Loads of f***ing toys.”

On Coldplay and Radiohead

“I don’t hate them, I don’t wish they had accidents. I think their fans are boring and ugly and don’t look like they’re having a good time.”

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

Bài viết 50 of Liam Gallagher's funniest quotes and insults as Oasis frontman returns with new album Why Me? Why Not – iNews đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-quotes/50-of-liam-gallaghers-funniest-quotes-and-insults-as-oasis-frontman-returns-with-new-album-why-me-why-not-inews/

0 notes

kolektsiakomah · 10 months

Text

FIONNA N CAKE EP 1 RANT . SPOILERS ‼️‼️‼️

oh my god you guys marshall and gary are so cool¿¿¡¡¡¡¿¿¿¿ they havent interacted w/ each other directly yet but god bless their hearts theyre hella sweet. the way marshalls eyes lit up when he took a bite outta that gingerbread or whatever fella........ thwyre gay gay homosexual gay. [also garys boss can go fuck herself¿¿¿¿ his fucking gingerbread guys are top tier amazing i know theyre so good and ill never even taste them]

BRUH LOOK AT THIS GUY. GIRLYPOP

also fionna rented her apartment from marshalls mom. and marshall and his mom dont seem to be on good terms. and fionna had a thing w/ dj flame but he dumped her UNJUSTLY MAY I ADD. I WOULD NEVER FUMBLE THIS WOMAN. she very well could be the most relatable character for me from any show ever. shes my highest kin as the youth say. AND WTF WHAT WAS THAT STATUE IN CENTRAL PARK. IS THIS BETTY. IS THIS BETTY AM I SEEING THINFS OE NOT IM SCARED SOME1 HELP⁉️⁉️

cake is hella cute shes dear to me. everybody probably mentioned this already but i physically cant hold it im so happy cake is a girl and is voiced by a man. this is such a fun fact not to mention it works incredibly well too. ive only ever seen this type of situation in bobs burgers which is a DARN SHAME we as a society really need to utilize this more. NOT TO MENTION that scene in the trailer¿

this one¿¿ where cake n fionna n simon are standing in some desert and fionna doesnt seem to have a shirt on¿¿¿¿ GOOD. SHIT. WHEN WE GET TO THIS EP ILL GOBBLE IT UP finn has appeared shirtless in at many many times and what if fionna gets the same treatment¿¿¿¡¿¿¿¡¡¿ she could be wearing a bra or smth but i really hope that this show would let her be topless in a non sexual way. this is all ive ever wanted. non sexual portrayal of female tits. im so serious rn. weve already seen her without her pants on this couldnt hurt. also simons dogs are OUT and ABOUT some1 give this grandpa some coverage

ANYWAY IM SO FUCKING READY FOR SIMON PETRIKOV DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE SAD SLOPPY MEOW MEOW AND HIS GIRLBOSS GIRLYPOP BABYGIRL BADASS WIFE. GIVE ME PETRIGROF JUICE RNNNNNNNN

#im insane as you can tell #fionna and cake spoilers #tw nudity #cw nudity #big big love #fionna and cake #adventure time #fionna campbell #f&c: fionna beloved #f&c: cake beloved #f&c: marshall beloved #f&c: gary beloved #f&c: betty beloved #f&c: simon beloved #f&c: petrigrof beloveds #🍋 blah blah

36 notes · View notes

amtushinfosolutionspage · 6 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star?

Three Stars of Comedy (All-Star weekend edition)

The All-Star weekend is weird. It’s pretty much the only time all year that NHL players are allowed to show any personality, or at least try to. Some jump at the opportunity. Most don’t. And the results are always hit-and-miss.

It’s been especially tough to find a good laugh at the event ever since the NHL dropped the breakaway challenge that had some of the stars playing dress-up or otherwise getting creative. And no, we’re not going to go with this year’s Wes McCauley’s offside review announcement, because the fact that the NHL had an offside review in an all-star game was just sad. But even if we’re grading on a curve, we’ll hand out some points for effort at this year’s event.

The third star: Erik Karlsson and Victor Hedman – Their pirate costume routine was fun, at least as long as it wasn’t foreshadowing a Karlsson-to-Tampa trade that would basically guarantee the Lightning a Cup. But the real star was this quote from Karlsson.

The second star: Brian Mach’s grandmother – Mach is an NHL linesman who got to work all-star weekend for the first time. Grandma was not impressed.

The first star: Brad Marchand – Yeah, he wouldn’t have been my pick to steal the show either. But by embracing the heel role, Marchand at least looked like he was having fun. From his sarcastic waving to to his over-the-top injury faking, Marchand came across as… well, not remotely likable, but at least vaguely self-aware. In the NHL, that’s something.

Overall, we’ll give the weekend a C+. Ah well. While only a few of their All-Stars were all that interesting, at least we still have Jaromir Jagr, right? Now to take a big sip of water and move on to the next section…

Outrage of the Week

The issue: Jaromir Jagr has been released by the Calgary Flames and signed with a team in the Czech league, all but certainly spelling the end of his NHL career.

The outrage: NOOOOO!

Is it justified: We knew it was coming. We had plenty of time to prepare. We should be OK with this.

We are not OK with this.

And I feel pretty safe saying “we,” because over the years Jagr somehow morphed into a universally beloved figure among hockey fans. He’d basically taken over Teemu Selanne’s role as the guy that just about nobody disliked. Even Penguin fans who weren’t over the whole 2011 bait-and-switch, or Capitals fans still trying to figure out how he went from perennial Art Ross winner to “guy it makes sense to trade straight-up for Anson Carter” overnight were mostly OK with him by now.

That’s a weird twist on a memorable career, given how Jagr arrived in the NHL. Back in the early 90s, when he arrived as Mario Lemieux’s sidekick and immediately won two Cups in his first two seasons, plenty of us didn’t like him. He was the poster child for a certain kind of flashy European player that we were having trouble getting used to. The NHL was a league where you weren’t supposed to smile if you scored a goal; having your own trademark celebration was basically a felony violation of The Code. So even when he took over from Mario as the league’s best player, we loved seeing him get his comeuppance.

He just didn’t get it very often. The Washington debacle seemed to spell the end of him as a legitimate superstar, but then came his rebirth with the post-lockout Rangers. Little did we know he had another dozen years left. He spent a few of those in the KHL, and that and the two seasons’ worth of time he lost to Gary Bettman’s lockouts might have cost him a run at the all-time goals crown. The fact that we can even conceive of that for a guy who played 80 percent of his career in the Dead Puck era is ridiculous. Even better, he emerged as one of the game’s better personalities, and both he and we loosened up over the years.

But now it’s over. Probably. Nobody would be completely shocked if Jagr showed up again some time next season for one more run. We’ve been here before, after all. But this time feels different. This really does feel like the end.

So thank you, Jaromir. Father Time catches up to us all eventually, but you sure made him work for it. We’ll see you in the Hall of Fame in three years or so. And until then, we’ll always have your awkward draft day and your ridiculous highlight-reel goals and yes, the image of your injured groin slathered in peanut butter. It’s been a trip.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Today marks the 41st anniversary of one of the weirder record-breaking performances in NHL history: Maple Leafs defenseman Ian Turnbull’s five-goal game. Not surprisingly, it’s the only time a blueliner has ever scored five times in a single game; even hat tricks by defensemen are relatively rare, with only 42 players managing the feat in the last 30 years. Many of those names are the ones you’d expect, like Al MacInnis, Paul Coffey, and Shea Weber. A few are not, including this week’s obscure player: Deron Quint.

Quint was a second-round pick by the Jets in the 1994 draft. He made his debut during the 1995-96 season, the team’s last in Winnipeg, and held down a regular roster spot in Phoenix before being dealt to the Devils for Lyle Odelein at the 2000 deadline. His stay in New Jersey didn’t last long, as he was dealt to the expansion Blue Jackets that offseason. He’d spend two years in Columbus before bouncing around the league for several seasons, making stops with the Blackhawks, Islanders, and Coyotes (again). His NHL days ended in 2007, but he continued his career in Europe for another decade, earning all-star honors in the KHL.

Quint was never much of a goal scorer, at least at the NHL level; he had only 46 in his career, and his high for a single season was just seven. But he briefly found his scoring touch on March 9, 2001, recording the hat trick in a 7-6 Blue Jackets win over the Panthers. All three goals came in the second period.

Oddly enough, that’s not even the strangest Deron Quint goal-scoring feat. As a rookie in December 1995, Quint matched a six-decades-old NHL record by managing to score two goals in four seconds. How does a defenseman pull that off? As you’ll see below, a little bit of luck helps.

The NHL Carolina Hurricanes Actually Got Something Right

The Hurricanes have a new owner. He’s a 46-year-old billionaire named Tom Dundon, and so far he’s been saying all the right things about wanting to win and keeping the team in Carolina. That’s a positive development for a long-suffering fan base, but for the most part it doesn’t really matter much to anyone else. The Hurricanes will continue their playoff push, they’ll keep being that one team you always forget is in the Metro, and Canadians will continue to make up stories about them being on the verge of moving to Quebec. New ownership is a nice enough development, but that’s about all it is.

Well, until this week. Because now we know that Dundon is toying with the idea of bringing back the Hartford Whalers.

Well, not the actual team. But Dundon would apparently like to reestablish the team’s ties to its own history. That means selling Whalers merchandise, and maybe even playing games wearing the old uniforms (which were recently voted the league’s second-best ever).

And, by far most importantly of all, the glory that is Brass Bonanza. It’s back.

Hell yeah. In a sports world where retro is all the rage, this just seems like common sense, and it’s a surprise that the NHL’s various relocated teams don’t do more of this sort of thing. You can understand not wanting to jump into right away, when fans in your old city are still recovering from the loss of a team; you don’t want to wipe their face in it. And in cases like the Coyotes and Stars, where the old city eventually got another team, then you may not want to step on any toes.

But at this point it feels pretty safe to say that the NHL isn’t heading back to Hartford anytime soon. So bring on the green and white. Find out what Pucky the Whale is up to these days. And by all means, blare that beautiful Brass Bonanza every chance you get.

(And be sure to crank it up extra loud whenever Brian Burke and the Flames are in town.)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

We’re one week away from the start of the Winter Olympics, which won’t feature NHL players for the first time in 24 years. That’s disappointing, and it’s going to make the tournament a tough sell, no matter what those intellectual eggheads in the New York Times try to tell you. Still, we might as well make the best of it. So today, let’s look back at the last pre-NHL gold medal game from 1994, as Canada and Sweden face off in one of the most memorable games in international history.

Oh yeah, we’re doing this in Swedish. I probably should have mentioned that up front. Or not mentioned it at all, and just let you go through the whole clip thinking you were having a stroke.

But yeah, this is the clip from the Swedish broadcast, because everything sounds better in Swedish. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure the announcers will be professional and stay impartial.

Our clip begins with about two minutes left in regulation. Everyone knows this game for the shootout, but not many remember that Canada had scored twice in the third period to take a 2-1 lead and were less than two minutes away from winning gold. Poor Derek Mayer. He scored the second Canadian goal that would have been the winner if the lead had held. Mayer was two minutes from being a national hero. Instead he’s the guy who played 17 games for the expansion Senators. This sport can be cruel.

Sweden is on the powerplay because international hockey is always rigged against Canada. Man, those benches are in a weird place. One of those Team Canada players could reach over and grab the Swedish guy as he works the boards. Probably should have, in hindsight.

Sweden ties it on a goal by defenseman Magnus Svensson, which is 100 percent the name you’d come up with if you had to make up a fake Swedish identity for the cops and you panicked. It’s very subtle, but you can pick up a little bit of excitement from our announcers, one of who screams a very aggressive “YEAH.” Or I guess it’s “JA.” Either way, he seems happy.

We cut ahead to the shootout, and it’s Magnus Svensson again. Or maybe it’s not the same guy and most of the Swedish roster was just named “Magnus Svensson.” I kind of hope it’s that. Anyway, he scores on a gorgeous deke, leading to another “JA.”

Wait, a defenseman got to take a turn in the shootout? What kind of Olympic coach would ever let something like that happen?

Next up is Forsberg, although this isn’t the famous shot we all remember. He does score, though, beating Corey Hirsch on a nifty move. It’s so nice that we skip the traditional “JA” and go straight to “OY YO YO YO.” I don’t care what language you speak, that’s a flat-out fun thing to yell. I’m using that in my everyday life.

Next up is Forsberg again, because the Swedes snuck him in for a second shot even though it’s against the rules and they should have to forfeit and Canada retroactively wins gold WHOOO! [checks earpiece] OK I’m being reminded that international hockey allows players to shoot more than once. You win this round, Sweden. Literally, as it turns out.

Forsberg beats Hirsch with the Peter Forsberg Move, which… I mean, how do you not see that coming, am I right?

This is the famous goal that would wind up on a postage stamp. Fun fact: The goalie in that stamp is wearing blue instead of Team Canada red because Hirsch refused to let them use his likeness and threatened to sue. He’s since said that he regrets that, but I always liked it. It’s the equivalent of making your friend delete that embarrassing photo of you looking stupid, except at an international level. I can respect that.

Needless to say, Forsberg’s goal gets an extended OY YO YO YO from our two announcers as we head to the replays. I forgot how close Hirsch was to stopping that. Usually when The Forsberg works, it’s into a wide-open net. But Hirsch is right with it the whole way and gets his glove down in the perfect spot. He’s just a fraction of a second too late. Hockey, man.

That’s it for our clip, which doesn’t show Paul Kariya’s game-ending miss and the subsequent celebration, presumably because our two announcers dove out of the booth to join it. It was Sweden’s first ever gold medal; they’d win another with (mostly) NHL players in 2006. Can they do it again this year? Nobody knows, because we have no idea what to expect from this tournament. But if it’s as entertaining as the 1994 gold medal game, will it be worth watching? I’m going to ahead and say ja.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star? syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

0 notes

flauntpage · 6 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star?

Three Stars of Comedy (All-Star weekend edition)

The All-Star weekend is weird. It's pretty much the only time all year that NHL players are allowed to show any personality, or at least try to. Some jump at the opportunity. Most don't. And the results are always hit-and-miss.

It's been especially tough to find a good laugh at the event ever since the NHL dropped the breakaway challenge that had some of the stars playing dress-up or otherwise getting creative. And no, we're not going to go with this year's Wes McCauley's offside review announcement, because the fact that the NHL had an offside review in an all-star game was just sad. But even if we're grading on a curve, we'll hand out some points for effort at this year's event.

The third star: Erik Karlsson and Victor Hedman – Their pirate costume routine was fun, at least as long as it wasn't foreshadowing a Karlsson-to-Tampa trade that would basically guarantee the Lightning a Cup. But the real star was this quote from Karlsson.

The second star: Brian Mach's grandmother – Mach is an NHL linesman who got to work all-star weekend for the first time. Grandma was not impressed.

The first star: Brad Marchand – Yeah, he wouldn't have been my pick to steal the show either. But by embracing the heel role, Marchand at least looked like he was having fun. From his sarcastic waving to to his over-the-top injury faking, Marchand came across as… well, not remotely likable, but at least vaguely self-aware. In the NHL, that's something.

Overall, we'll give the weekend a C+. Ah well. While only a few of their All-Stars were all that interesting, at least we still have Jaromir Jagr, right? Now to take a big sip of water and move on to the next section…

Outrage of the Week

The issue: Jaromir Jagr has been released by the Calgary Flames and signed with a team in the Czech league, all but certainly spelling the end of his NHL career. The outrage: NOOOOO! Is it justified: We knew it was coming. We had plenty of time to prepare. We should be OK with this.

We are not OK with this.

And I feel pretty safe saying "we," because over the years Jagr somehow morphed into a universally beloved figure among hockey fans. He'd basically taken over Teemu Selanne's role as the guy that just about nobody disliked. Even Penguin fans who weren't over the whole 2011 bait-and-switch, or Capitals fans still trying to figure out how he went from perennial Art Ross winner to "guy it makes sense to trade straight-up for Anson Carter" overnight were mostly OK with him by now.

That's a weird twist on a memorable career, given how Jagr arrived in the NHL. Back in the early 90s, when he arrived as Mario Lemieux's sidekick and immediately won two Cups in his first two seasons, plenty of us didn't like him. He was the poster child for a certain kind of flashy European player that we were having trouble getting used to. The NHL was a league where you weren't supposed to smile if you scored a goal; having your own trademark celebration was basically a felony violation of The Code. So even when he took over from Mario as the league's best player, we loved seeing him get his comeuppance.

He just didn't get it very often. The Washington debacle seemed to spell the end of him as a legitimate superstar, but then came his rebirth with the post-lockout Rangers. Little did we know he had another dozen years left. He spent a few of those in the KHL, and that and the two seasons' worth of time he lost to Gary Bettman's lockouts might have cost him a run at the all-time goals crown. The fact that we can even conceive of that for a guy who played 80 percent of his career in the Dead Puck era is ridiculous. Even better, he emerged as one of the game's better personalities, and both he and we loosened up over the years.

But now it's over. Probably. Nobody would be completely shocked if Jagr showed up again some time next season for one more run. We've been here before, after all. But this time feels different. This really does feel like the end.

So thank you, Jaromir. Father Time catches up to us all eventually, but you sure made him work for it. We'll see you in the Hall of Fame in three years or so. And until then, we'll always have your awkward draft day and your ridiculous highlight-reel goals and yes, the image of your injured groin slathered in peanut butter. It's been a trip.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Today marks the 41st anniversary of one of the weirder record-breaking performances in NHL history: Maple Leafs defenseman Ian Turnbull's five-goal game. Not surprisingly, it's the only time a blueliner has ever scored five times in a single game; even hat tricks by defensemen are relatively rare, with only 42 players managing the feat in the last 30 years. Many of those names are the ones you'd expect, like Al MacInnis, Paul Coffey, and Shea Weber. A few are not, including this week's obscure player: Deron Quint.

Quint was a second-round pick by the Jets in the 1994 draft. He made his debut during the 1995-96 season, the team's last in Winnipeg, and held down a regular roster spot in Phoenix before being dealt to the Devils for Lyle Odelein at the 2000 deadline. His stay in New Jersey didn't last long, as he was dealt to the expansion Blue Jackets that offseason. He'd spend two years in Columbus before bouncing around the league for several seasons, making stops with the Blackhawks, Islanders, and Coyotes (again). His NHL days ended in 2007, but he continued his career in Europe for another decade, earning all-star honors in the KHL.

Oddly enough, that's not even the strangest Deron Quint goal-scoring feat. As a rookie in December 1995, Quint matched a six-decades-old NHL record by managing to score two goals in four seconds. How does a defenseman pull that off? As you'll see below, a little bit of luck helps.

The NHL Carolina Hurricanes Actually Got Something Right

The Hurricanes have a new owner. He's a 46-year-old billionaire named Tom Dundon, and so far he's been saying all the right things about wanting to win and keeping the team in Carolina. That's a positive development for a long-suffering fan base, but for the most part it doesn't really matter much to anyone else. The Hurricanes will continue their playoff push, they'll keep being that one team you always forget is in the Metro, and Canadians will continue to make up stories about them being on the verge of moving to Quebec. New ownership is a nice enough development, but that's about all it is.

Well, until this week. Because now we know that Dundon is toying with the idea of bringing back the Hartford Whalers.

Well, not the actual team. But Dundon would apparently like to reestablish the team's ties to its own history. That means selling Whalers merchandise, and maybe even playing games wearing the old uniforms (which were recently voted the league's second-best ever).

And, by far most importantly of all, the glory that is Brass Bonanza. It's back.

Hell yeah. In a sports world where retro is all the rage, this just seems like common sense, and it's a surprise that the NHL's various relocated teams don't do more of this sort of thing. You can understand not wanting to jump into right away, when fans in your old city are still recovering from the loss of a team; you don't want to wipe their face in it. And in cases like the Coyotes and Stars, where the old city eventually got another team, then you may not want to step on any toes.

But at this point it feels pretty safe to say that the NHL isn't heading back to Hartford anytime soon. So bring on the green and white. Find out what Pucky the Whale is up to these days. And by all means, blare that beautiful Brass Bonanza every chance you get.

(And be sure to crank it up extra loud whenever Brian Burke and the Flames are in town.)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

We're one week away from the start of the Winter Olympics, which won't feature NHL players for the first time in 24 years. That's disappointing, and it's going to make the tournament a tough sell, no matter what those intellectual eggheads in the New York Times try to tell you. Still, we might as well make the best of it. So today, let's look back at the last pre-NHL gold medal game from 1994, as Canada and Sweden face off in one of the most memorable games in international history.

Oh yeah, we're doing this in Swedish. I probably should have mentioned that up front. Or not mentioned it at all, and just let you go through the whole clip thinking you were having a stroke.

But yeah, this is the clip from the Swedish broadcast, because everything sounds better in Swedish. Don't worry, though, I'm sure the announcers will be professional and stay impartial.

Our clip begins with about two minutes left in regulation. Everyone knows this game for the shootout, but not many remember that Canada had scored twice in the third period to take a 2-1 lead and were less than two minutes away from winning gold. Poor Derek Mayer. He scored the second Canadian goal that would have been the winner if the lead had held. Mayer was two minutes from being a national hero. Instead he's the guy who played 17 games for the expansion Senators. This sport can be cruel.

Sweden ties it on a goal by defenseman Magnus Svensson, which is 100 percent the name you'd come up with if you had to make up a fake Swedish identity for the cops and you panicked. It's very subtle, but you can pick up a little bit of excitement from our announcers, one of who screams a very aggressive "YEAH." Or I guess it's "JA." Either way, he seems happy.

We cut ahead to the shootout, and it's Magnus Svensson again. Or maybe it's not the same guy and most of the Swedish roster was just named "Magnus Svensson." I kind of hope it's that. Anyway, he scores on a gorgeous deke, leading to another "JA."

Wait, a defenseman got to take a turn in the shootout? What kind of Olympic coach would ever let something like that happen?

Next up is Forsberg, although this isn't the famous shot we all remember. He does score, though, beating Corey Hirsch on a nifty move. It's so nice that we skip the traditional "JA" and go straight to "OY YO YO YO." I don't care what language you speak, that's a flat-out fun thing to yell. I'm using that in my everyday life.

Next up is Forsberg again, because the Swedes snuck him in for a second shot even though it's against the rules and they should have to forfeit and Canada retroactively wins gold WHOOO! [checks earpiece] OK I'm being reminded that international hockey allows players to shoot more than once. You win this round, Sweden. Literally, as it turns out.

Forsberg beats Hirsch with the Peter Forsberg Move, which… I mean, how do you not see that coming, am I right?

This is the famous goal that would wind up on a postage stamp. Fun fact: The goalie in that stamp is wearing blue instead of Team Canada red because Hirsch refused to let them use his likeness and threatened to sue. He's since said that he regrets that, but I always liked it. It's the equivalent of making your friend delete that embarrassing photo of you looking stupid, except at an international level. I can respect that.

Needless to say, Forsberg's goal gets an extended OY YO YO YO from our two announcers as we head to the replays. I forgot how close Hirsch was to stopping that. Usually when The Forsberg works, it's into a wide-open net. But Hirsch is right with it the whole way and gets his glove down in the perfect spot. He's just a fraction of a second too late. Hockey, man.

That's it for our clip, which doesn't show Paul Kariya's game-ending miss and the subsequent celebration, presumably because our two announcers dove out of the booth to join it. It was Sweden's first ever gold medal; they'd win another with (mostly) NHL players in 2006. Can they do it again this year? Nobody knows, because we have no idea what to expect from this tournament. But if it's as entertaining as the 1994 gold medal game, will it be worth watching? I'm going to ahead and say ja.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star? published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

0 notes