#f*ck you lauren

[demivampirew]

Me: I'm going to save the last 3 episodes of The Witcher to watch it on my birthday because I asked for the day off work.

Me: *Spends birthday angry and cursing the showrunner and writers of The Witcher for ruining a story that could've been amazing if they didn't suck at their jobs*

[l-e-e-woso]

Masterlist

Started: 13th October 2022

Last Updated: 24th Febuary 2023

Total Fics (so far): 32

Who I Write For

Footballers X Reader

Mapi León

Oh...F*ck...ow

Ah Sh*t 

Couple Goals

Will you, Mi Amor? 

Alessia Russo

You should wear that more often 

Found Out | Coming soon

So Caring | Coming soon

Big Stage | Coming soon

Good Look | Coming soon

Unfortunate | Coming soon

Leah Williamson

Meeting The Fam

Euros Love 

Marriage 

Married Life | Coming soon

I Did Want To | Coming soon

Don’t Leave Me | Coming soon

Song 4 U | Coming soon

Worth It | Coming soon

Jess Park

Finally

Like My Own | Coming soon

Ella Toone

Mic’d Up

Lovely Morning | Coming soon

Alexia Putellas

Please Mi Amor

Caught Red Handed

Caught Read Handed Part 2 

Mierda

She Said Yes

Nala

Damn...your stunning 

 Touchy Feely | Coming soon

A Holiday! Finally | Coming soon

Plus One  | Coming soon

Nobody Knows | Coming soon

Moving | Coming soon

Emily Sonnett

That’s a lot of People 

Ouch | Coming soon

Guro Reiten

The Looks

Number One Supporter | Coming soon

Really?! Wow... | Coming soon

Clàudia Pina

Oh My God…

Georgia Stanway

So Annoying…

Fouled | Coming soon

Esme Morgan

 Do It | Coming soon

Lauren Hemp

Forced Confession

Janine Beckie

Change Of Plans

Ellie Carpenter

Come On Then | Coming soon

Lauren James

Cute | Coming soon

Fridolina Rolfö

Talented

Chloe Kelly

May I?

Pernille Harder

The Love of My Life 

Niamh Charles

Wasn’t The Same

Lucy Bronze

Damn Baby

Corrupt System | Coming soon

Ona Batlle

I Can’t Help It

Trends | Coming soon

Alex Greenwood

Not How I Planned

Millie Bright

Cheffin’ It Up | Coming soon

Teams X Reader

Barca Femeni

Dios Mío 

Couples

Keira Walsh X Lucy Bronze {Wonze}

Date Night | Coming soon

Reunited | Coming soon

Leah Williamson X Alexia Putellas

Unexpected Lovers | Coming soon

Footballers X Original Character

Leah Williamson

Coming Out to Mother | Coming soon

My Birthday | Coming soon

 Mapi Leon

She’s My Mother

Unwanted | Coming soon

[bad-witchcraft-smp-ideas]

Wait wait wait wait. Are any of these guys not fugitives??

Shelby- Literally is future empires!Shelby. Yes, I am a bit salty that my headcanon entirely contradicts canon now. But yeah, she literally messed with parallel universes, got expelled from The academy, and was on wanted posters throughout the entire world. 100% a fugitive.

Scott- This guy curses people when he doesn't like them, or he tricks them into letting him curse them to practice cursing his enemies if he does like them.

Eloise- Stole multiple medals, trophies, and the Supreme crown.

Pris- I don't actually remember what she did, but someone already stated that she is a fugitive so-

Joey- 1, he's Joey. 2, he murdered and threatened and backstabbed and decieved. 3, he broke Lauren's trust. This isn't an actual crime, but come on! Might as well be, look at the wet cat! 4, did I mention he's Joey?

Cleo- Much like Pris, I don't actually know what specifically they did. But I have seen Cleo in both Hermitcraft and the Life Series, she has definitely done at least something

Lauren- awtesrygkuhl I don't remember if she did anything but I've watched other videos by her and she's just the type of person to commit petty crimes for the sake of annoying her friends so yeah probably on the run from the law.

Tiff- I think she might be the only person that's not a fugitive. Congrats! Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong lol

Headcanon that post-canon Bertha and the old Supreme get arrested because "why the f*ck would you invite 7 fugitives to become the new ruler? the nature witch should've gotten the role by default istg" anyone?

-⛈🍄

SJCISUCJEHHCE

[practicalmagicintuitions]

I feel like the tea behind the scenes on the Witcher is more exciting than the season itself, lol.

I have decided not to watch this season, for many reasons, but I am still curious about what happened behind closed doors. Probably we will never know.

Well, I wanted to write a last paragraph for my reading but I decided not to, but f*ck it. This is ONLY MY OPINION and nothing to do with the cards I pulled.

With all of those rumors around him, the witcher, lauren, freya, the shooting, his behavior etc, and the fact that he finally has a seemingly appropriate gf (age wise) who is always with him (allegedly) but who he has no chemistry with… you know… 1+1=2…. Maybe people really, I mean really should look behind the scenes and asking difficult, hard questions… Like what is he gaining with this very public relationship? People won’t like this answers I guess but we observed this relationship from every possible angle except this one. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[oopsislipped]

Nightmare Time 2: Honey Queen Live Blog

Spoilers!

alright so I didn't watch the episode live because. reasons but HERE I AM

THE NEW ACTORS ARE IN THE OPENINGGG

"no one wants to go to your stupid cherry festival."

I love james, corey and curt wearing the same wig while Jeff is just the same as always

DYLAN AS GERALD LET'S GOOO

"stop giving them 100 dollar bills." "it's just pocket change!"

I love Gerald so much

Mariah is so pretty,,,,,

"SHE CALLED ME A BOOMER"

PAPER HAT JEFF

ok but what ate the origins of the Hatchetfield/Clivesdale rivalry?? why is living in the rival town so frowned upon? does Alice get the same treatment when she's with her mom? does this have to do anything with the eldritch entities lurking around? the plot thickens

"I'd say go to hell, but you're already moving there! <3"

HOMOPHOBIC ZOEY?

wait nvm. still fucked up

oh fuck it's Sam again

OH SHIT

like when she what the tennis coach.

HIDGENS IS BACK

Sam what

Sam what do you mean.

SAM???

it would have been great of they named the choreographer James

WHAT. THE FUCK.

What THE F U CK

zoey's so rich now she only needs two roomates!

"not this. I spat in this."

THE HAMILTON REFERENCE

Paul camEOOO

"her rage boils over." "ªªªªªªª"

Paul cameo 2 electric boogaloo

*looks toward the horizon* "I hate homeless people"

SING IT LAUREN

HUH

HUH???

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

GET HIM GERALD

I just realized every time Sam makes an appearance in the Hatchetfield series he gets hurt somehow (if I remember correctly he was in forever and always?? please correct me if I'm wrong)

NOOOOOOOO GERALD

Gerald my beloved you were terrible too but you will be missed

"I love you. also there is a literal body hanging from the ceiling,"

what do you mean church.

what

HUH

H U H

WH A T

WAIT WAS THE PIGLET THING FORESHADOWING

well

guess it runs in the family am I right

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

"(except Leon, sometimes I feel like Connor has more chemistry with him than he has with Lauren)" this is eerily accurate and kinda true with so many nhl relationships, like half of them don't seem to even like their gf or wives but love their boys

take a page out of womens hockey and just marry your teammates

Homies before h*es.

No, but what do you expect? More than 80 % of those guys have girlfriends or wives only to have a better public image, to please their parents who want them to settle down and start a family with someone, to have dinner on the table when they come home from a game or road trip, occasional stable f*ck in between their hookups all over the country, and someone who will give them kids and take care of them cause they would never be able to do that by themselves if they didn't have stay-at-home-mom-slash-wife.

[bitchboyburnout]

FANDOM ONE-SHOT/DRABBLE REQUEST FORM

Reminder that this is an 18+ account with 18+ stories and if you are under the age of 18 you are NOT allowed to read these stories or request one. Even if the content is not inherently n.sfw I do not want you reading my material.

I mostly write for ships but if there is a specific fandom you just want little relationship snippits for that I have listed, thats fine!

In your request please just mention

1. The ship/character you want a snippet or story about

2. Any themes or storylines you want me to apply to the story

3. Any details you would like me to add

4. Anything you want me to 100% leave out/triggers to avoid

note that I am not a strong writer for straight anything.. and gxg is also not my expertise! I will try my absolute best but I am just a small gay man,, do not hold me to any high standard

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Here are the fandoms and ships for those fandoms that you can request a one-shot about:

MISCELLANEOUS

buzzfeed/watcher:

Ryan x Shane (Shyan)

(respectfully you should understand that this is obviously in no way an attack on sara or marielle, but just a ship that mostly is based on the fake internet personas of Ryan and Shane. this should never be forwarded to them in the same way you probably shouldn’t send stuff to other celebrities. thank you)

SHOWS AND MOVIES

Good Omens:

Crowley x Aziraphale

Hawaii 5-0:

Danny x Steve

M*A*S*H:

Hawkeye x BJ

Supernatural:

Castiel x Dean

Gabriel x Sam

TURN: Washington’s Spies

Benjamin x Caleb

Benjamin x Abraham

Marvel:

Loki x Mobius

Sam x Bucky

Bucky x Steve

Eddie x Venom (yes, okay fuck u)

The Witcher:

Geralt x Jaskier

The Maze Runner:

Thomas x Newt

BBC Merlin:

Merlin x Arthur

Night at the Museum:

Jedediah x Octavius

NCIS:

Mcgee x DiNozzo

Criminal Minds:

Spencer x Derek

Hotch x Spencer

Torchwood:

Jack x Ianto

MUSICALS

Falsetto’s:

Whizzer x Marvin

Hamilton:

Lafayette x Mulligan

Hamilton x Laurens

Hamilton x Lafayette

Dear Evan Hansen:

Connor x Evan

Evan x Jared

Jared x Connor

Evan x Jared x Connor

Newsies:

Crutchie x Jack

BOOKS

Percy Jackson:

Nico x Will

Red, White, and Royal Blue

Henry x Alex

OTHER FANDOMS THAT IM A PART OF AND FEEL COMFORTABLE WRITING FOR

Doctor Who

Umbrella Academy

Bridgerton

New Girl

Sex Education

BBC Sherlock

American Horror Story

The Walking Dead

Harry Potter (f*ck jk rowling <3)

In the Heights

How to Train Your Dragon

The Good Place

Marvel

Spiderman (Andrew and Tobey)

Legally Blonde (Muscial)

ATLA

[romancereadingdiva]

My Neighbor’s Secret Now Live!

MY NEIGHBOR’S SECRET by Lauren Rowe is now live!

▪️Blurb:

Charlotte McDougal I hate him and I don’t even know his name.

The good news is my nemesis has made it abundantly clear the feeling is mutual. He did call me pretty, though, in the midst of a heated screaming match. Which would have been flattering, if I didn’t loathe him so much. But whatever. I don’t care how handsome he might be, or how charming the rest of the world probably finds him, guys who look like aged-out boy banders aren’t my type. Add to that, he’s got a knack for being in precisely the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was thrilled to march away from our angry skirmish and never see the b*stard with the piercing blue eyes, ever again.

It wasn’t meant to be, though. As it turns out, my sworn enemy is my new next-door neighbor. F*ck my life. Luckily, he’s got a big secret to keep, just like I do. He’s in a jam, and so am I. So, we’ve decided to put our differences aside long enough to resolve our respective predicaments. Of course, we’ve made it clear this is going to be a business arrangement and nothing more. A necessary means to an end. But when you’re forced to work closely with your sworn enemy, a guy who happens to be ridiculously attractive and surprisingly funny—when he actually starts to grow on you, much to your shock—keeping things strictly professional becomes easier said than done.

My Neighbor’s Secret is a funny, silly, zany, swoony, spicy, enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, standalone rom com that will keep you laughing, swooning, guessing, and fanning yourself, all the way to Charlotte and Auggie’s happily ever after.

📌 Available Now! Free in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://books2read.com/LRMNS

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

 COVER REVEAL

We are thrilled to reveal this gorgeous cover for MY NEIGHBOR’S SECRET by Lauren Rowe coming December 1!  

Preorder Link: https://books2read.com/LRMNS

WILL BE FREE IN KINDLE UNLIMITED

Charlotte McDougal I hate him and I don’t even know his name.

The good news is my nemesis has made it abundantly clear the feeling is mutual. He did call me pretty, though, in the midst of a heated screaming match. Which would have been flattering, if I didn’t loathe him so much. But whatever. I don’t care how handsome he might be, or how charming the rest of the world probably finds him, guys who look like aged-out boy banders aren’t my type. Add to that, he’s got a knack for being in precisely the wrong place at the wrong time, and I was thrilled to march away from our angry skirmish and never see the bastard with the piercing blue eyes, ever again.

It wasn’t meant to be, though. As it turns out, my sworn enemy is my new next-door neighbor. F*ck my life. Luckily, he’s got a big secret to keep, just like I do. He’s in a jam, and so am I. So, we’ve decided to put our differences aside long enough to resolve our respective predicaments. Of course, we’ve made it clear this is going to be a business arrangement and nothing more. A necessary means to an end. But when you’re forced to work closely with your sworn enemy, a guy who happens to be ridiculously attractive and surprisingly funny—when he actually starts to grow on you, much to your shock—keeping things strictly professional becomes easier said than done.

My Neighbor’s Secret is a funny, silly, zany, swoony, spicy, enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, standalone rom com that will keep you laughing, swooning, guessing, and fanning yourself, all the way to Charlotte and Auggie’s happily ever after.

[yahooanswersblog]

lauren: 《 shoutout 》 If you could talk to one species of animal, which would you choose ?

Me: That would involve giving them a mind like ours, right? Because if not, I don't know what there would be to say other than really basic things like Go Away, I'm hungry, You're food, F*ck you, etc.

[norestforthereaders]

So i’ve been reading new books recently and i thought i’d give a review because f*ck it why not.

Here’s a review of The Loneliest Girl In The Universe, by Lauren James.

(But first a quick summary)

Romy Silvers is sixteen tears old, and further away from any human than any other had ever been before. And that’s because a few years ago, her parents died.

Now, she is alone on a ship, the Infinity, speeding away from earth, and her only contact with earth is through the emails of her therapist, Molly.

And one day, Molly has the greatest news.

Another ship, the Eternity, will be soon joining her !

Through emails, she quickly bonds with the ship’s commander, J.

But she soon finds out that J’s mission is not exactly what she thought…

And suddenly, there are worse things than being alone.

That book in my opinion definitely deserves a 9 out of ten. I am a person who loves fantastic books with magic and all. This book is not that type of story.

You quickly get hooked in by all of the incredible plot twists. Important informations are given to you bits by bits, until finally the puzzle assembles to form a bigger image.

I totally recommend it !

(That was a short review but only my first. If i do more in the future, i will make sure to make it more detailed !)

[largevewor]

Action bronson show band

Action bronson show band series#

The Alchemist is often portrayed as the show’s straight man, a rawboned dude who doesn’t much care about food beyond its caloric utility. He and the Alchemist are huddled outside. “What exactly is 420-what happened on that day, what happened at that time, on that day, does anyone know exactly what happened?” “420 is such a ridiculous fucking thing, is it not?” he asks. (Whether they found any marijuana is unclear.) Bronson appears befuddled by the term. M., they set out to find an abandoned cannabis field using a treasure map. Per stoner lore, the numbers four and twenty as shorthand for marijuana use originated with a group of high-school students in San Rafael, California: one day in 1971, at 4:20 P. To the casual viewer, it might seem that every episode of “F*ck, That’s Delicious” is 420-themed. “Why are we eating food we don’t like?” the Alchemist asks his friends, halfway through breakfast at a dim-sum restaurant in Queens, on a special, 420-themed episode. Much of the humor hinges upon lampooning fussy, toadying conversations about cuisine. Yet this way of thinking becomes its own kind of trap, in which authenticity is inextricably (and confusingly) linked to disenfranchisement, and meals become polemics.īy contrast, Bronson’s show suggests that to think of food as possessing any kind of cultural currency-to interpret it as a political choice-is to misunderstand appetite. He understands cuisine as part of a larger narrative about place, and is hungry for authentic, revelatory experiences. A low-boiling disdain for authority informs his monologues. Bourdain jets off to exotic or otherwise underexplored sites (Libya, Borneo, New Jersey), skulks about in a black leather jacket, pounds beers, and, as the show ends, delivers shrewd cultural commentary via voice-over. “There’s no wood, but it’s reminiscent of wood.”īronson’s most obvious predecessor is Anthony Bourdain, the writer and former chef, whose latest series, “Parts Unknown,” airs on CNN. “But I can taste the wood.” Bronson pauses. “There’s no wood in this,” Rosforth replies. “You can taste the wood,” he says to Sune Rosforth, a natural-wine specialist. At Conditori La Glace, a renowned pâtisserie in Copenhagen, the Alchemist describes a wedge of sportskage-a layer cake with whipped cream and crushed praline-as having “a cereal type of flavor.” (Lauren’s summation is more specific: “Teddy Grahams on steroids.”)Īt a tasting, Bronson insists upon his own reading of a Georgian wine. Though Bronson has worked as a cook, and is familiar with the nuances and language of haute cuisine, he and his cronies refuse to acknowledge a chasm between high and low fare. the Alchemist-judge food exclusively on its visceral delights. Bronson and his squad of sauntering, mild-mannered colleagues-most often, his collaborator Big Body Bes the cherubic, winsome rapper Meyhem Lauren and the lanky producer and d.j. He weighs around three hundred pounds, and is usually wearing an oversized Carhartt shirt, athletic shorts, and sneakers. (An accompanying book, “F*ck, That’s Delicious: An Annotated Guide to Eating Well,” was released in September.)īronson has a scraggly, reddish beard and eyes the color of a glacier. The best of the bunch is “F*ck, That’s Delicious,” a travel show hosted by the rapper and bon vivant Action Bronson, which will begin filming its third season next year. The energy is masculine and contrarian-a corrective, perhaps, to the self-seriousness of foodie culture, and to the cozy murmurs of chefs like Ina Garten and Martha Stewart.

Action bronson show band series#

The majority of these series began on Munchies, a Web site launched by Vice in 2014. But many of them are renegade variations on the travel-and-chow-down theme, in which a tattooed chef (like Eddie Huang, the host of “Huang’s World,” or Frank Pinello, the host of “The Pizza Show”) goes to a far-flung locale, and ingests and ruminates for the camera. Some of its shows are expressly edifying. This year, Viceland, a new, millennial-focussed television network under the creative direction of Spike Jonze, has become an unlikely bastion of food-related programming. The odd pleasure of watching people cook and eat on television seems to transcend generational boundaries.

[hopeless-weakness]

2022 Books I’ve Read

102/150

Never Let Go by Lauren Biel

(I received a copy of this book for review)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Trigger Warnings include:

Stockholm Syndrome, abuse, abduction, murder, rape, assault, torture, non-con-ish, off-page childbirth loss

This is…heavy. If any of the trigger warnings myself or the author included are actual triggers of yours, don’t even TRY the book. They aren’t light suggestions. There’s nothing light about this book! Writing a proper review for this book would involve including triggers…so I need to tread lightly! We are greeted by darkness on the very first page. Mackenzie is a ball of sunshine and spitfire. How she finds the strength to continue to be that way through everything…I have no idea! My own sunshine dimmed reading her story. These are terrible circumstances. And that plot twist nearly knocked me on my ass! Just thinking about it, my heart aches. Even at 30 I know not to get into a stranger’s car. Repeat after me folks: we do not get into strangers’ cars! Was this a cliffhanger? Or the actual end? Because in my mind we skip off into a field of daisies and live happily ever after. And that is therapeutic enough for me!

My Favorite Quotes:

• “Don’t ever trust me. It’s better if you don’t because I don’t trust myself.”

• “I’m not going to be able to stop once I have my mouth on you.”

• “I could rip you to shred and still get off as I wore your blood.”

• ‘The moment I sank inside her, I knew she wasn’t the goal post. She was the whole goddamn game.’

• “I would still f!ck the almighty hell out of you.”

• “You fuck with my mind, Mouse.”

• “Forcing someone to be with you doesn’t make them love you. You taught me that.”

• “We could be this.”

• “I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you, and things I didn’t do for you, but I can’t do this without you.”

10/10 Dark Romance

10/10 Dirty Birdy

10/10 Forced Proximity

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